#so will prob check back again when my queue is about to run out like in a week or two

[lionfloss]

can u come back from ur hiatus cause i want to see tortilla

Here’s her winding up to attack 🥹 she’s doing great.

#tortilla #also just popping in #i dont really feel like being on here still #so will prob check back again when my queue is about to run out like in a week or two #happy new year to the mutuals <3 #cats #answered x

[thewildwaffle]

Haunted Houses

“You know the translators don’t work for written word right?” Danro grunted, eyeing the small tablet screen his human companion held out to him. It was displaying several small human glyphs.

“It’s just a waiver saying you’re okay with coming in, and that if you have any bad effects from the flashing lights or spooky stuff they use, you can’t sue them because you chose to be here willingly, blah blah blah.” Human Addy again held up the tablet. “Basically it’s just the legal-ese version of everything we talked about earlier. I can read through it for you if you really want.”

Danro let out a growling hum. “Just look through it and make sure there’s nothing in there that wasn’t what you told me earlier.”

“No prob.” Addy pulled the waiver back and scanned over it quickly, mumbling to herself under her breath as she read. Danro looked at the human working behind the check-in counter who was doing their best to not be obvious that they were gawking at him. Not that that bothered him or anything. Standing head and shoulders above most other humans and covered in long light brown and white fur, he certainly stood out from the gathered crowd.

“We’re good to go, everything checks out!” Addy declared, handing the tablet and stylus to Danro. “You just need to write a signature at the bottom and we can go in.”

“But I don’t know how to write in your language,” Danro glanced dubiously at the screen.

“Just take it,” Addy pushed the stylus into his large hands, “You can write in your language, it doesn’t matter.”

Danro doubted that. He sighed. Humans and their contracts. They were obsessed with them, and honestly, the more he got to know of their race, the more he started to understand why. Humans, for all their ingenuity and seemingly lovable natures, could be quite underhanded. They could think their way around and through most obstacles, especially when those obstacles were well-established but loosely-defined rules and expectations. Many a treaty or trade agreement had been swung wildly in favor of the party consisting of or including humans. It was like they lived for loopholes and variable interpretations. Intersystem lawyers have been scrambling to learn from and replicate the style humans wrote contracts. After all, only a human contract could (at least somewhat) confidently bind a human.

He scribbled his name in his own familiar letters, figuring that would have to be good enough. He trusted Addy when she said it was just a liability waiver after all. She had already signed one herself. After handing the tablet and stylus back to the kid working the booth, they were off.

As they walked around the entrance gate, Danro’s mind immediately went into overdrive trying to take in and process the scenery. The surrounding buildings creating the quad the event was hosted in were lit up with orange, purple, and green lights. Queues of patrons stretched along the concrete sidewalks that ran between buildings. They were watching costumed dancers in the middle of the quad as they waited to enter the “haunted” buildings. What looked like old metal trash cans had fires lit inside them with small crowds of humans and the occasional alien figure huddled around them. There were smaller lines in front of a few trailers and booths that looked like they were selling very aromatic foods and drinks.

An approaching figure caught Danro’s eye. It was almost as tall as him, draped in a raggedy shawl, and had a grotesquely disfigured face with lacerations running from the top of its head and across one eye. Danro sniffed. He saw blood, but he didn’t smell it. This must be a human actor in a costume, something Addy had warned him of beforehand. They were likely wearing stilts as they were almost eye level to him.

“My my my, what have we here!” The actor’s voice was both screechy and gravely, a combination that made Danro’s fur prickle slightly. "I've seen many a ghost and ghoul in these mansions, but I've yet to encounter any of the likes of you two." They made an exaggerated show of looking between Danro and Addy, as if sizing them up. “What do I call you two apparitions?”

Addy gave a small chuckled and gestured to herself. “I’m Addy, I’m a human. And this is Danro, he’s a kexi biet.”

“Mortals?!” The mask wobbled a bit as the actor stepped back dramatically and then leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, “I’d keep that information to yourselves while you’re here. Who knows what lurking terror might overhear and decide to snack on your bones!”

Danro smiled indulgently at the costumed human. They were certainly well in character.

“We’ll be sure to not mention it again,” he nodded.

“Be sure that you don’t!” the mask rose up so that the fake, glossy eyes were almost level with his own. “You are a brave biet, Danro. Brave, or perhaps foolish. I do hope you and your small companion survive. Come.” They turned and led them towards the center of the quad. They paused and waited for them to catch up next to one of the trash can fires. “Have either of you been here before?”

Addy nodded, “Yeah but it’s been YEARS.” Danro shook his head.

“What a treat, then.” They pointed to one of the closer buildings with a purple light out front. Danro noticed that the actor’s costume was detailed down to the largely uneven stitches on their sleeves. It gave their arm an odd shape. Or at least, he hoped the odd shape of their arm was just part of the costume.

“Each of these buildings is haunted, some more than others. They are color-coded by the lights of how ‘dangerous’ they are.”

“So is that one the safest?” Addy dipped her head to the building being pointed to.

Their guide only laughed ominously. “Present your passes to the attendants by the door. No running, no pushing, no flashlights or video, no explicit language as it disturbs our… residents, and keep your hands to yourself if you’d like to keep your hands.”

And without another word, their guide ambled off. Addy shuffled a little closer to the fire and grinned at Danro.

“Alrighty then! Which one do you want to do first?”

Danro looked around at the quad. The dancers finished their song and were now walking and milling away to tents to warm up or rest, smallish humans were carefully nibbling on a pink puffy food on a stick that looked suspiciously like hair. The buildings themselves loomed around them, lit by their colored lights and the flickering fires around the quad. Their boarded up windows gave no indication of what was inside, although they couldn’t quite muffle the occasional scream from within.

“I’d prefer it if we could find the one that’s the mildest first,” Danro admitted. “Kind of ease myself into this, if you will.”

“No worries, bud.” Addy started towards the building with the green lights. “I think that would be this one. Green usually means easy, or mild, or good or whatever.”

That’s not what green was usually associated with on his planet, but hey, trying to scare yourself as a method of amusement and recreation wasn’t really a thing back home either. This was all very new to him.

The line in front of the green building moved pretty quickly. As they approached the front, Addy put a hand on his arm and looked up at him.

“Hey, thanks again for coming. These things aren’t nearly as much fun alone.”

Danro smiled. “Thank you for the invite.” Addy had invited a few more from their crew once she knew they’d be planetside on Earth just before what she claimed was one of her favorite holidays. He had been the only one to accept. A few others had gone to a “corn maze” with another human from the crew. Apparently, it wasn’t “haunted” and so appealed to more crewmates. Danro accepted the invitation because it saddened him to think of Addy going somewhere scary alone. That, and afterward it would be known across the ship of how much more brave he was than those who were too afraid to come.

The attendants at the door reminded them of the rules, marked their passes, and opened the doors for them.

Once inside, the doors shut noisily and Danro could feel the confidence he’d held on to outside drip away. His senses were being thrown off in here. The lights were dim, which isn’t too bad, he didn’t have great night vision, but it was alright. But there was something wrong here. He couldn’t tell why, but he could feel it. As Addy started down a narrow corridor covered with cobwebs, he took a deep breath and told himself it was just his nerves. Or maybe, he thought as they continued down the winding corridor, it was all this smoke stuff. It wasn’t real smoke, it smelled different, like minerals instead of burned materials. That was also throwing him off. The first time he saw an amputated human arm dangling out of a bag, he nearly freaked out. It was only when they passed right by it that he realized he didn’t actually smell any blood. He clutched Addy’s shoulder ahead of him as they walked by.

Danro muttered to himself. “It’s not a real arm. It’s not real. It’s not real.” He was really just saying it to himself, but from the way Addy looked back and up at him, he knew she must have heard him.

The next room was divided by a series of ripped and filthy “curtains.” As soon as they entered, Danro growled. The lights here were flashing strobe lights, making it difficult to see. There were human-sized figures standing in the room. As they passed by, he realized they weren’t human, but some sort of mannequins. Good, he sighed. Some of them looked grotesquely mangled and mortally wounded. He was glad they weren’t actual humans. As they were deep into the large room, his heart nearly stopped as he realized that some of them were moving. No, he thought, no, it had to just be a trick of the strobe lights.

Near the exit of the room, one definitely moved. The figure jumped out at them with a gravely yell. Addy screamed and jumped back. Danro froze momentarily and had to remind himself to not attack. They weren’t in danger. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t-

Addy scampered through the exit without him. Danro did his best to maneuver after her. The figure that had scared them stared at him with white eyes. That… that’s not normal. Humans have colorful and/or dark eyes. They smiled at him, baring their teeth. Even when normal humans smiled like that, Danro found it disconcerting, but this was on a whole different level. This felt genuinely dangerous.

Addy was waiting for him in the next room.

“Sorry,” she panted. “Didn’t mean to leave you behind back there.”

“Their eyes,” he whispered loudly to her, as if worried they’d overhear and come after them from their room.

“I didn’t even see their eyes. Were they creepy?”

Danro nodded.

Addy smiled, without baring her teeth, Danro noted appreciatively. “This place has really stepped up their game since the last time I was here.”

They continued through, warily watching out for hiding figures, walking through narrow maze-like halls, over uncomfortably soft and uneven ground, and through a tunnel where the walls looked like they were spinning around them. He nearly lost his balance off the walkway. He could have sworn the ground was moving. Even after they passed through that and went up a flight of stairs, he could still feel the dizzying effects. Coupled with his sense of sight and smell being confused around nearly every turn, he was starting to feel the tendrils of dread creeping into his mind. As they rounded a turn, he immediately noticed a dark figure moving in the corner. They looked like they were climbing the walls. After a few heartbeats of analyzing its movements, he realized it was mechanical. Good, it was just a prop then. As they walked through the room, bright lights strobed and the figure on the walls flew at them. Addy screamed again and ran to the door. Danro jumped up and fell back on the ground. The figure jerked to a stop in the air a pace or two away, and slowly retracted back to the wall. As Danro scrambled back up to his feet, he noticed the folding metal lattice mechanics that moved the dark creature. As terrified as he was, he had to admit that that was quite a creative scare.

There were several other rooms they walked through with no actors inside, just creepy dolls and mannequins or unsettling objects that made Danro’s fur prickle. There was a long hall with poor lighting and a very low ceiling that even Addy had to duck to get through.

“I hope nothing tries to scare us in here,” Danro muttered as he squeezed through the narrow passageway. “I don’t think I’d be able to get away very fast.” “I don’t think there’s anything in here. Or at least there wasn’t when I came through here when I was in high school. I think this part’s mostly “scary” because it’s supposed to make you feel claustrophobic.”

Danro scanned the bare cinder block and exposed dim light bulbs along the narrow passageway. Well, he thought, it was certainly claustrophobic in here. He could feel his heart rate increase the longer they walked through here and was incredibly relieved when they reached the end. Addy helped him watch his step as he climbed down from the small exit and into the dim cellar-like room.

"Are you okay?"  She carefully brushed some fake cobwebs from the fur on his arms.

“I’m fine. There aren’t any more small tunnels like that though, are there?” Danro, much like many biets, did not enjoy tight spaces.

“I think there’s another one in one of the other buildings, but it’s nowhere near as constrictive as that, or as long.” She looked up at him with a concerned expression. “Is that alright? You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Danro smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine. I got through this so far, I can handle it. Plus, it’s more fun to do these things together, right?”

Addy’s smile was worth any fright this place could throw at him anyway.

They pressed on and got a few more screams out of Addy and a few more alarmed jumps from Danro. As they rounded another corner and entered another dark room, Danro paused, senses alert to the scene before them. Something felt off, though he couldn’t place the reason why. His fur stood on end and he swore he could see his and Addy’s breath. He could see places where actors were likely hiding in wait to scare them, but that wasn’t where his attention was focused. There was something different about this room and it made his heart rate skyrocket.

He thought he saw movement in the corner of his vision, but when he turned his focus there, expecting to see an actor sneaking towards them, there was nothing. Addy slowly crept deeper into the dark room ahead of him. Not wanting to be separated in a place like this, he tried to stay close. Halfway through the room though, he froze. Did he really see… he swore mentally. Was that a chirnu? What was a thing like that doing in a human attraction? What was it doing here at all? It had no right, no right to exist outside biet folklore and nightmares. The living shadow, or the fang of the shadows, depending on who was telling the story. Danro closed his eyes instinctively. Don’t look at it. Don’t look at it and it might not look at you.

“Danro,” Addy whispered, realizing she no longer felt his hairy bulk behind her.

He said nothing but willed her to remain quiet. The chirnu might hear her if it hadn’t already.

“Danro, we’re almost at the end, just a little further.” She reached back to put a hand on his arm.

A loud shriek and rush of movement made them both jump. Danro swept Addy into his arms and ran. To gadring with the rules! He ran! He could hear laughter behind him and taunting voices that may or may not have been human, at this point he didn’t know nor care. He could smell fresh air ahead and it seemed to be like a beacon of hope to him.

“Danro!” Addy cried out but was cut off by a loud growl to their left. A figure jumped out from the shadows, donned in a ripped cloak, and holding a weapon that Danro later realized was a human tool used for cutting lumber.

How the heck had this maniac gotten in here with that?! Danro dodged to the right. Addy screamed and held on so tightly to Danro’s fur that she might have pulled a few tufts loose. The maniac with the saw laughed and gave chase.

This was a mistake! This was a mistake! This was a mistake!

Maybe if he could just make it outside where the crowds were, they could lose their pursuer. Surely he wouldn’t give chase into public?

Danro barreled through the final door and out into the chilly air outside. Relief! The roar of the saw was still right behind, and so he kept up with his pace. Thankfully, their pursuer didn’t seem to be able to keep up and eventually stopped a ways outside the door to laugh and Danro and Addy ran around the corner of the building and back to the crowded quad area.

Once he was absolutely sure they were no longer being followed, he stopped only long enough to set Addy back on the ground before he started again for the main entrance.

“Hey! Wait, where are you going?” Addy bounded after him.

“We need to let someone know. They need to be warned before someone gets killed!”

“What? Wait, do you- do you mean the chainsaw guy?” Addy was now at his side, but struggling to keep up. “That’s just part of the whole thing, it’s a classic end to a haunted house. There’s no actual chain or blade or whatever, it’s safe.”

Danro slowed and turned to face Addy. He studied her face. She was smiling and didn’t seem at all worried that they had almost been killed by a psycho with a “chain saw.” He took a few deep breaths to slow his heart down. “It’s not real? We’re fine?” He finally managed to ask.

Addy smiled and nodded. “We’re fine. So, first time through a haunted house, what did you think?” Danro looked back to the building they had just run out of. He stared hard at it, trying to make sense of the whole experience. Or mostly, trying to make sense of what he had seen in that last room. Had he really seen what he thought he saw?

“Danro? Are you okay?” Addy’s worried tone snapped him back.

“I thought…” he was almost embarrassed to ask now. Admitting that he had seen what would be to her an alien monster, a mythical alien monster at that, seemed to be a bit laughable now that they were back in the safety of the quad. Addy continued to look at him though, expecting him to finish his thought.

“I thought I saw… a chirnu in there in that last room,” he admitted quietly.

Addy blinked. “Chirnu? What’s that?”

He grimaced. It was said that talking about them could help them hunt you down later. As briefly as he could, he described the monster that terrorized biet folklore.

Addy listened intently and nodded. When he was done, she hummed. “That does sound pretty bad. But I’m pretty sure we’re okay. I don’t think what you saw in there was a chirnu.”

Relief flooded Danro’s system. He felt silly even entertaining the idea that chirinu were for one thing, real, and another thing, here on Earth. Although, that did leave one question.

“Then what did I see?”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure. That last room was definitely creepier than the others. I think it’s genuinely haunted.” Danro tilted his head and Addy laughed. “Although if I had to venture a guess, from your description I’d say it was probably a giant rubber spider. That room did kind of have a spider theme if you didn’t notice.” “Spider theme?”

“Yeah, I think the whole building kind of had a “phobia” theme to it. Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders. Lots of people have it. I just didn’t know biets had it too.”

Danro straightened his back in mock indignation. “I’m not afraid of spiders.”

Addy laughed. “Okay, then you were just pretending back there?”

Danro frowned, but the human’s happy energy was too much and he eventually cracked and smiled back. He looked around at the other patrons, mostly humans, who were waiting anxiously in line. They came to be scared. They wanted to be scared. How odd. And yet, Danro could feel himself still riding the high of his fight or flight senses. From what he understood, humans experienced a similar feeling, heightened by the production of a hormone called adrenaline. He could see how places like this might seem attractive to those seeking that rush.

“Well,” he responded airily, “I thought the whole point was to pretend to be scared.”

Addy laughed and teased. He teased back, recalling and imitating her many screams. They continued doing so while they waited in line to buy a bag of what Addy called “popcorn” and two caramel covered apples. Addy said they were some of her favorites, and caramel apples were a fall tradition. Danro enjoyed both. He smiled as he listened to Addy continue on about things she loved about the season and upcoming holiday before they went to wait in line for the building with the orange light.

That night became, quite possibly, one of his fondest memories. Humans are weird. They think getting scared on purpose is fun. Maybe Danro was a bit weird too because he whole-heartedly agreed.

#stay spooky #halloween #humans are weird #aliens #humans are space orcs #haunted #writeblr

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 507

OK QUICK QUESTION, OUTLANDER WRITERS, IF YOU’VE STILL BEEN CAPABLE OF MAKING EPISODES THIS GOOD THEN HOW THE FUCK DO YOU JUSTIFY MAKING *GESTURES AT THE LAST FEW SEASONS* ALL THAT SHIT?!

This is literally the first episode of Outlander in fucking *years* that I have liked and actually meant it. Like, I *wanted* to watch it again. I cannot remember the last time I’ve wanted to rewatch an episode rather than it feeling like “fandom homework.”

Their track record over the last few years has me worried this was a fluke. And they just accidentally did a good job, and we’ll be back to mediocrity next week. But...y’all. What if the show actually gets good again? You know, that thing we’ve been hoping would happen for 84 fucking years...

*attempts to keep expectations in check while simultaneously being excited to actually have positive feelings toward the show again*

(Now can we have a Claire-centric episode that isn’t about rape and/or the usual ye olde times violence against women?)

Nudity AND sexual content warnings at the start? It’s a quarantine miracle!

Am I the only one who isn’t so much a fan of the voiceovers?

Opening with Roger singing, and the title, made me rull skeptical of how much I’d like this episode. Glad he was just the B plot.

*mentally prepares for next week, because ugh, fuck that guy*

At least we won’t have singalongs anymore? *runs away*

The shots of the camp and stuff reminded me again how glad I am that this season feels much less claustrophobic overall than last year.

JAMIE IS HAVING A SUPER SOFT BIRTHDAY PARTY!

LOOKIT THESE SOFT AF FRASERS!

MY BABIES ARE SO ADORABLE AND CUDDLY AND KISSY AND SNUGGLY AND MAKING DICK JOKES!

Move over Marilyn. I have a new favorite version of Happy Birthday.

Now quick, sing it a second time. I need a very sexy hand washing timer.

Ok but two of the English soldiers have the same last names as two people I work with but don’t particularly like. Eeeep.

99 yellow cockades on the wall, 99 yellow cockades. Take one down pass it around, 99 yellow cockades on the wall!

Update, I’m still not interested in the Browns or Isiah. But I guess if they’re gonna do what they’re probs gonna do next year, they have to make the Browns’ beef with Jamie a bigger thing than one episode... Le sigh.

Omfg the scene with the Findlay boys. They’re so young! Jamie’s giving them advice! They’re gonna follow the advice! And it’s gonna be tragic af! Literally perfect choice, tbh.

Tryon is such a condescending douchecanoe. Just going full Javert here.

Why the fuck is Bree in Hillsborough, though? Besides, needing to be conveniently there for Plotty McPlotterson reasons.

The more they say Alamance, the more all I can think of is Salamence. Which is fitting considering what happens to fellow ‘mon Roger MacSeedot at the end of the episode.

A+ choice moving Jamie calling on Dougal to here rather than before the flaming dildo.

Especially given a certain piece of stunt casting...

“My professor said that some people consider this to be the spark of the American Revolution.” *stares in Boston*

“Ye say some people believe this is the spark. Couldn't the spark alight from somewhere else?” “Yes, it could. You know, in Boston. Where you grew up. Your professor in Cambridge can shove it.”

If Harvard wasn’t closed because of the ‘rona, I’d march down there and give that fictional professor from decades ago a piece of my mind.

They’re really putting a lot of faith in a fucking handkerchief. Don’t see how that could go wrong.

“Now go. Be ready for the morrow.” And then all the Regulators sit down around their fires and sing Drink with Me.

Yes, I’m still on the “this season is Les Mis fanfic” train.

Ok but Murtz was ready to die at Culloden for a cause he believed in *with* Jamie and now, after hearing what Roger has to say, he’s ready to die here for a cause he believes in *against* Jamie* AND I AM FULL OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

*yes, I know that Jamie’s not 100% into it and definitely isn’t actually on the side of Murtz’s enemy.

“You have farmers, with knives and pitchforks.” *queues up Turning*

How fucking far away was this creek though that it took all fucking night to get there? Now is not the time for a sleepover party, Roger.

PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE, ROGER, PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE!

At least he doesn’t fucking kiss her, but you are *such* a dumbass, Roger.

LOL @ DOUGAL 2.0

They do love them some stunt casting on this show, don’t they.

Ok but making Jamie wear a red coat is a great fucking choice. And I know I shit on Heughan a lot, but his face as Jamie puts it on shows literally every emotion and his entire history with the men who wear those coats without saying a word.

Ok but since they cast Graham McTavish as a bit of a joke, does this mean we aren’t going to be subjected to Roger and Buck’s adventures through time? Because omfg I hate that shit so much. I mean, it’d be on brand for the show to make us watch an abusive husband gallivant around as a buddy of one of the leads, but it wouldn’t be a good look.

Buck!Dougal must have one of the previous season’s wigs. Because what is that dead thing on his head, haha.

Ditto what I said about Heughan re: Caitriona’s face when she see’s Jamie in the coat.

I AM STILL TRASH FOR THE SOLDIER THING.

Also, this is a good example of book shit worked in. Not awkwardly shoehorned in like they usually do.

Kinda bummed that Nurse Marsali is out of action, but get why Bree’s there. Whatevs. Can we get more Nurse Marsali soon?

The Browns are super obvious about trying to kill the person they’ve told everyone they want to kill.

Also like fuck the Browns for breaking her magic needle, but Claire, girl, keep a better grip on that shit.

THE MOURNFUL VERSION OF THE JE SUIS PREST/PRESTONPANS MUSIC IS PUNCHING ME IN THE FEELS.

FUCK THE ENGLISH, TBH. THEN AND NOW.

Also, why the fuck didn’t JAMMF ditch the coat as soon as they went into the woods? Not the smartest idea to run around in a bright fucking target, buddy.

OMG IT’S SO PERFECT THAT ONE OF THE FINDLAY’S DID IT. War is awful. War is random. And having a fucking pretty much child following the advice of his commanding officer, thinking he’s protecting his Colonel, be the one to kill Murtz is just the most perfectly tragic choice.

“Dinna be afraid... It doesn’t hurt a bit to die.” *sobs in Voyager*

I love that it’s Jamie’s men, who are ostensibly fighting for the English, are the ones who help him with Murtagh. Because, after all, they’re loyal to their chief and new clan, not the crown.

OMG ALL OF THEIR FACES THOUGH! JAMIE WITH THE GRIEF AND DENIAL AND ANGER AND BARGAINING! CLAIRE WITH THE GRIEF AND ACCEPTANCE! BREE WITH THE GRIEF AND DEPRESSION!

(Maybe not depression with Bree, I was just trying to fit in all five stages of grief.)

I’m obviously super sad to be losing Murtz, but this does feel like a good way to end his arc. With the added bonus of putting Jamie on the path to join the Revolution in a few years.

I’M JUST GONNA MISS THAT CROTCHETY FUCKER SO MUCH, OK! *drinks wine straight from the bottle*

Jamie ripping Tryon a new one is...not smart. But it’s what we all wish we could yell at the fuckwad. So carry on, JAMMF.

He’s being very Beauchamp-esque with this rant.

“I’ve paid my debt... and I’m finished with my obligation to you and to the crown.” Is that how that works though?

“You may have your coat back, sir.” A Mood™

I’m glad Claire kept his little scrap of plaid.

Ngl, I loved the Claire and Murtz relationship more than the Jamie and Murtz one. I am very sad for Claire.

Oh man, they are trickily ending on a high note*. We may have lost Murtz, but at least we’re rid of Roger!

*YMMV, don’t @ me.

But alas, next episode starts the saga of Emo!Roger. You can tell he’s gonna be alive because they show his one hand slipped from the handcuff rope and up at his neck rope.

We’ll deal with that next time. For this week, I’m just so fucking glad I’m still able to love this show and feel actually feelings while watching it.

I’ve missed that. So fucking much.

#* #outlander starz #outlander 5x07 #drunj!der yells about outlander

[chrysaliseuro2019]

Monopoli 2

Next day we started off the day with Alessandro again as we had extended for one more night and had to pay him. He is a very pleasant guy. Still at uni, very smart, laid back, great English and a handsome boy. Obviously also appreciates the finer things in life given his restaurant recommendations which he was pretty passionate about.

Our plan for the day was to head to Polignano a Mare. Post breakfast Liz was feeling tired so wanted to grab another hour’s sleep. Good opportunity for me to check out the cathedral which she had seen the previous night. I also tried on the shoes we had seen the previous day, this time with my orthotics but wrong size. Shame because they were on sale and very reasonably priced. And looked good😥.

The cathedral was very interesting and pretty stunning if you like your grandiose marble columns. And I do. There were also very good paintings and a number of different chapels each of which had a story which was well described in English in the short, paper guide.

The site has been continuously occupied for at least 4000 years with huts built on it in the Bronze Age. A pagan temple was located on the site and in 256AD a Christian church was built in its place so changing religious approach accommodated.

Construction commenced on the original church on this site in 1107 but they did not have wood for roof beams. In 1117 a raft arrived in the harbour carrying a Byzantine icon of the Madonna with child (which really stands out as you wander around the church it is really lovely). Beams from the raft were used to construct the roof of the church. Some of these beams are preserved and can be seen in the appropriately named “Chapel of the Beams”. Wiki describes the events of 1117 as a miracle. Unsure if that is in the biblical or fortuitous sense. Apparently the church also took over 300 years to build. Funds must have been tight. In 1742 the old Romanesque church which was unsafe was demolished and the current baroque church built.

It was now midday and the church was closing with just a few visitors left. I managed to hang on for another 7/8 minutes and was the last to leave. Pretty soon after, Liz called and we headed for Polignano.

Polignano had been recommended both by the Maitre de we liked in Vieste and Alessandro so we were determined to go there. It might even be a loose possibility to spend a night at it if it scrubs up really well. We certainly wondered if we should have headed there and spent one less night in Monopoli. Alessandro said we must visit the Pescaria restaurant which serves various varieties of seafood, in rolls etc. He said it was so successful that they had opened up a second one in Milan. His advice was -just look for the crowds lined up outside and you will know you are there.

Just a short 20 minute drive or so to Polignano. We parked up close to town. Took our bathers as mid thirties but felt like 40 and town right by the sea. Walked past the Roman ruins to get into town and immediately saw a small cove which was the town beach. It was very crowded and really a mousetrap with say 250-300 people on it and many in the water surrounded by cliffs. We weren’t tempted to go in. We did do a “Where’s (the) Wally” photo with me trying to blend into the throng.

We just stood and watched this hubbub for a while. Young macho guys and girls jumping and diving into the water from the surrounding rocks and generally everyone trying to tone up their tans. Noise was pretty loud too. A fun place.

We retreated into town looking for the Pescaria and it was easy to find. A queue outside and in. We had to have lunch and could not go past this place given its local fame. The wait was probably 50 minutes+. Thirty mins to get into the place and order and another 20 to collect it. There were tables and chairs inside and out but it was mayhem and we had seen some benches under trees on the main drag and took our lunch to there. I had a prawn roll which Liz also shared a bit of and she had a slider with prawns. Both excellent and it would be great to be able to get that in Melbourne. The whole experience of queuing, anticipating and the general boisterousness of the place was worth seeing and food good too.

PS - we were amused that waiters came out with trays of food yelling out the number of each order. This right amidst the bedlam of people eating and waiting to be served and conversing (as Italians do - loudly) the old electronic approach where they give you a token which then beeps when food is ready would have been better.

Off for a walk around the old town and as ever in this part of the world a number of narrow streets and picturesque buildings. We dropped into a few shops along the way though no acquisions. Our general feeling - good place to visit for a short while but we pulled the right string with Monopoli. Damned a little with faint praise and definitely worth a visit but wouldn’t stay there.

Now around 4.30 and we headed for home but looking out for a beach. Still very hot. We found one just outside Monopoli again a small, perhaps tiny, cove. We both soon had a swim to cool off. Liz throwing in a relaxed and lazy 200 metres or so of enviably stylish and relaxed freestyle and general floating. Stepping out of the water loose as a goose.

Me, 20 metres of a tad more frenetic doggie paddling after which it was time for a stroll around the nearby cliffs. These were a bit more like those volcanic areas of Victoria by the beach with very sharp rocks which were the result of volcanoes 14 billion years ago.

Any way after 20 minutes or so I returned to find Liz chortling away. An Italian mother with two twins aged about 2 was trying to control these two little tikes who it would be fair to say did not want to be controlled and at age 2 in true Italian style had attitude. Curly black locks they were gorgeous with full moon round faces. Mama was struggling to cope. She was determined to let them stick their toes in the water but not much more as she clearly thought they might drown. This meant she stood in their way if they tried to get too far in ie more than a metre from the sand which was about 6 inches in depth. This though meant that they needed other mischief to create. They would run up and throw sand on their towels which also set mum off. Of course if she ran up and admonished whoever did it the other one would head for the water which meant she had to belt down and guard them and the whole scene repeated itself endlessly with the only constant a frazzled mum and mischievous kids.

It was hilarious and the central culprit of the twins was “Angelo”. We never discovered the other one’s name as mum never used it so he became Angelo 2. All we heard was “Oh Angelo, Angelo”. As a little cameo couple of hours we could not have had much better value. Lovely little beach, great temperature, sandy cove, Angelo and brother in top mischievous form and their behaviour contrasting totally with the little Asian boy who was with Grandma. He was as tranquil as could be and was allowed to go in the water close to the rocks and play and then stood up very calmly on a rock in the sea as grandma changed him ready to leave. Great fun and a minor study in different behaviours plus the gorgeous Angelo twins. Time for us to head home.

Post showers the evening started again at the city square for a quiet drink and people watch and then we looked around for a restaurant in one of the back streets away from the crowd. We had seen a couple on our lost wandering of town. Of course weren’t really sure where they were and could not find one that suited. Either too boisterous or cafe rather than restaurant.

Back we went to the centre of town and then headed in the general direction of one of Alessandro’s recommended pizza places. The one we could not get into a couple of nights earlier (Chine). In truth we didn’t expect to be successful this time either. Well we were lucky. A table outside was free with about a 10 minute wait. No prob. I ducked back to the car which was parked nearby to collect something and by the time I returned Liz was seated. We ordered Napoletana style pizza with olives, anchovies, capers, mozz and some spicy salami. No prob but we then had at least a 45 minute wait. When it rolled up it was worth the wait. Fantastic ingredients, really tasty crunchy crust and something I have never had before - Anchovies served in a tin which we added ourselves to the pizza.

We both agreed that it was arguably the best pizza we had ever eaten. Well done Alessandro again.

It had been yet again a big and varied day.

[shysneeze]

Wet Dog (Sirius Black x Reader)

Request:Heyy! I was wondering if you could do a Sirius x fem!reader version of Whoolly Jumper. Maybe where reader is in Gryffindor and her and Sirius don't really get along but then while she's smelling the potion she smells campfire, leather and when she says wet dog, the guys all look at Sirius in shock. 

Warning: Cussing, my writing, injury etc

Author's Note: This is probs shit, never written a Sirius imagine but here you go :)

"Watch out, (Y/L/N)."

(Y/N) stumbles to the side as Sirius Black strides ahead of her into the potions classroom, followed swiftly by his apologetic friends. She can only roll her eyes as she follows, giving Remus Lupin an exasperated look as he pats her shoulder sympathetically. She’s already preparing herself for a long afternoon. 

"Don't you look ravishing today, (Y/L/N)." Sirius mocks as she takes her seat in beside him. "Bed head and all."

"What can I say, Black.” She smiles mockingly sweetly. “ I got my inspiration from you." 

Watching his smirk fall is one of the most gratifying things (Y/N) is sure she’s capable of. As school player and obnoxious prick, a title given to him by the girl herself, Sirius Black is not someone (Y/N) has ever found herself get along with. 

A prank gone wrong in their earlier school years, leaving her the undeserving victim of some nasty boils, destined them to a life as enemies, who’s day’s revolve around their petty banter and scathing remarks.

“Of course you did.” Sirius recovers. “I am dashingly handsome.” 

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” 

Sirius goes to reply despite Remus’ warning nudge to his side when Slughorn begins to explain the lesson, approaching the cauldron in front of the class as it bubbles above the flame, letting off a pinkish steam. 

“Amortentia.” He begins with a smile. “Can anyone tell me what it is?”

“A love potion, Sir.” (Y/N)’s replies with a raised hand. 

“That’s right, Miss (Y/L/N).” Slughorn beams. “Well done.” 

“Show off.” “Sirius coughs. 

“Not my fault that you’re feeling threatened.” 

Remus long sigh is loud enough to have them both temporarily sheepish as Slughorn continues to explain the lesson, either ignoring or obvious to the way Sirius and (Y/N) have begun to bicker the minute Remus’ disappointed look faded.

Only once the class has dispersed to take turn at smelling the infamous potion do they let up, separating with mirrored glares to different cauldrons let bubbling across the room. 

Her sour mood is soon overshadowed by the same buzz as everyone else. Amortentia’s unique smell makes it a fascinating potion, and like most, (Y/N) can’t deny her excitement at getting to decipher what it smells like to her, or rather, who.

"Well, (Y/N)?" James Potter nudges her side once together at the front of the short queue. “What do you smell?” 

“Give me a chance, boys.” She chuckles. 

Remus has the decency to look apologetic, though his eyes carry curious glint to them much like James’. Giving him a knowing look, she turns with a small laugh to lean forward over the bubbling cauldron, inhaling deeply, and expectantly. 

It takes a moment for them to hit her, to diffuse into separate, identifiable scents rather than the initial confusion that causes her nose to scrunch. Behind her, James and Remus exchange a curious glance, finally a glimpse into their mysterious friend.

“Campfire.” She confesses first. “Leather and... wet dog?” 

She pulls back with a grimace, a disgusted look twisting at her expression. Behind her, James’ jaw has slackened and Remus’ brows have pulled into a confused frown that has concern prickling at her skin. 

“What?”

"Did you say wet dog?" Remus asks.

"Yeah.” She grimaces. “Do we know anyone with a dog?” 

"No!" James interrupts. 

His eyes betray him though, already staring across the room towards Sirius. She follows his gaze with a questioning frown. She’s about to question Siriu’s relevance when she spots Lily beside him, smirk finding her cheeks quickly. 

“I suppose you smelt Lilies?”

“Ha- yeah.” James laughs, almost mechanically. “Yeah.”

“Hm.” She grins. “How did I guess.” 

“I wonder.” Remus joins. “Not like he talks about her all them time.” 

“Of course not.” 

 Their worried looks still hold though, eyes darting between each other warily. She tries to dismiss it though, weird behavior isn’t uncommon amongst the infamous Marauders.

She focusses her thoughts instead on who on earth might smell of wet dog.

.

She’s not sure what she expects, walking into he empty hospital wing in the dead hours of the morning, but Sirius Black certainly wasn’t even a consideration. She peers down once again at the parchment clutched in her hands and inhales sharply as the pieces come together. 

She’d been reading in the common room as is her usual weekend tradition, forgetting time and not sleeping until the sun is creeping in the windows, when a scrunched ball of parchment has appeared from thin air and fallen into her lap. On it, an almost illegibly scrawled out request for her to come to the hospital wing, ASAP.

"Sorry." Sirius sighs. "I didn't know who else to message and I knew you'd be up..."

"It's fine. “ (Y/N) assures. “What’s wrong? Is Remus okay?”.

Sirius’s brows pique before he’s grimacing again at the movement, cracking the slow healing gash on his forehead. Moving closer at the sound of his hissed breath, her own breathing halts for a second as she catches the real issue in the light of one of the dim candles.

He’s grasping at his side with one hand, the other clutching at the table he’s sat on.  Through his torn short, she can see the crimson stain of blood seeping through the fabric and coating his fingers. She can see him grinding his teeth in pain, breathing in sharply before forcing out a question.

"You know?" He asks. “About Remus?” 

“Yes- what happened?”

“How?” 

“He’s a friend.” She explains quickly. “I figured it out- what happened to you?” 

“He’s fine, but he got me pretty bad.” 

He’s so flippant about it, as if it’s happened a million times before and he doesn’t care, but (Y/N) face freezes in disbelief. Her next question bursts out so loud she’s grateful for once that Madam Pomfrey isn’t here.

"You were out with him?”

"You said you knew!" 

"That Remus is a werewolf.” She exclaims. “Not that you were out there with him- do you know how unsafe that is?”

His chuckle at her reaction is short lives as it sends a ripple of pain through his side and has him hunching over with a chocked out groan. She’s coming forward instantly. steadying him upright again. 

"Merlin." She exhales " Take your shirt off, Black."

His lips twitch into a smirk.

"Awfully bold tonight, aren't we, (Y/L/N)?"

"Sirius, you are bleeding.” She warns sternly. “Don’t tease me right now.”

He nods, grunting as he peels his shirt off, revealing the source of all the blood, a jagged gash running down his side, the skin around it dotted with deep red bruises, not yet given the time to turn that signature purple colour. 

She’s quick to riffle through a few cupboards for a healing kit, grabbing some sterilising alcohol and a cloth, soaking it silently as he watches on, a mixture of mesmerised and concerned. 

"Um, this is going to sting.” She warns, blowing some strands of hair from her face frantically. “Like a lot.”��

“I’m a big boy.” He assures. 

“Fine.” She says. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

His body jolts the minute she touches him, breathed hissed through his teeth as he grasps for soemthing to hold onto. She reaches out for his hand with her free one, clasping it in her own and squeezing reassuring. He meets her eyes at the feeling, taken aback by the way their hands fit so perfectly together. She gets lost there for a second, in their little moment. 

“There.” She clears her throat after a moment. “I did warn you.” 

She pulls away to go for the bandages, the absence of her hand in his causing a sinking feeling in his chest he’s never felt before. He can tell she’s avoiding his eyes as she begins to bandage his wounds. 

“Thanks.” He says. “For doing this.”

“You’re an idiot.” She mumbles, moving away to inspect her handiwork. “I hope you know that.”

"Noted.”

 "Care to explain how it happened though?"

He contemplates it for only a moment, realising how contradictory it would be to lie after what she’s seen, what she’s healed for him. His body slumps slowly with a sigh. 

“Remus is our friend.” He starts. “We couldn’t let him go out there alone, so we- me, James and Peter- became animagi to help him out every full moon.”

“Because he isn’t bothered by other animals...” She exhales upon realisation. “That’s really clever.”

Her frown eases, the harshness of her voice disintegrating with the newfound respect that warms her chest. She steps forward again, looking up at him sheepishly. 

“You’re not that much of an idiot.” 

“I don’t know.” He jokes. “I lost control of my animal form and startled Moony.”

“Still.” She assures. “It’s very admiral of you to do that for a friend.”

“No one deserves to go through what he does.” Sirius shrugs. “If I can help even a little, it’s my job to do so.” 

She finds herself smiling at this new side of Sirius Black, a side that’s sweet, gentle. She shakes her head in disbelief as she runs a hand down his bandaged side, gently. 

“What’s you’re animagus?” She asks friendlily. “Please tell me its a chicken.”

“Ha, you wish.” He holds his side a she laughs. “I’ll have you know, I’m man’s best friend.”

“Huh?” 

“A dog.” He explains with a soft smile. “Big scruffy looking thing.”

She stills her hand on his torso, barely noticing how it’s wandered across his skin, resting on his shoulder before she pulls it back. He begins to frown at her slackened jaw and wide eyes. 

"Oh my god."

"What is it?" 

"Wet dog!" 

He blinks at her, standing with a frown, groaning as he pushes himself from the table to glare at her. 

"Well that's just rude."

"No, in the amortentia.” She exclaims, fingers curling in her hair in frustration. “Leather and wet dog.”

“(Y//N)-”

"Fuck sake, that was you?” She rambles. “Are you serious?"

"Last time I checked that was my name, yes."

"Fuck off, Sirius." She snaps. "I can't believe I like you of all people."

It’s like it all comes down at once, the reality of the night, no longer clouded by each warm touch and lingering gaze. Sirius Black is a player, an obnoxious prick and the subject of an affection she was sure she’d never feel for him. 

She goes to turn away with a scoff and a disappointed feeling in the pit of her stomach when, behind her, Sirius lets out a sigh and his hands are tugging her back by her waist, twisting her around until she’s stumbling into his chest. He holds her gaze, eyes full of questions as their lips are frozen millimeters apart. 

She finds herself nodding, reading him perfectly enough to know what he’s asking. Then, their lips are clashing in a kiss, their bodies stumbling backwards until hers hits the wall behind her. It’s all so rushed, finger curled in hair and heavy breaths. 

She has to force herself to pull back, his lips chasing hers as she gently forces him back and with a pant. His fingers are still curled around her waist, but his eyes are as wide as hers. 

“What- what just happened?” 

“I’m pretty sure we just made out.” He admits. “And it was pretty fucking good.”

“No, no we can’t start doing that.” She decides. “I’m supposed to hate you.” 

“Why!?” He bursts. “You can’t seriously be mad at me for something I did when I was fourteen.” 

“I had boils for days.” She hisses. 

“I was fourteen!” He retorts. “Merlin, (Y/N), I can’t believe I like someone who holds such a grudge.”

She freezes, breath catching nervously in her throat as she looks up at him again. 

"What did you smell in the potion?”

"Old books and flowery shampoo." He admits. "Your  shampoo."

"How do you know what my shampoo smells like?"

His blush is something she’s never seen before. It creeps up his neck and reaches the top of his ears instantly. A bit of her she’s no longer able to ignore observes how sweet it is, cute even. 

"I notice things..."He mumbles. "I'm very observant."

"Well your smells were all nice smells.” She argues. “Wet dog... why did it have to be you.”

He's smirking again, a smirk that she’s always dying to wipe off his face, but never before has she wanted to do so by kissing him, never before has it been so infuriatingly attractive... although perhaps it has, perhaps all that hatred has been hiding something else. 

"Can kiss you again?" 

She doesn’t recall nodding until they’re kissing again, his hands moving from her waist to cup her cheeks, his hands warm on her skin as they were in her hand. His lips are gentle, so much more so that she’s ever imagined and she knows they’re something she’ll never be able to live without again. 

"I'm sorry I pranked you when I fourteen." He apologises. “I didn’t know how else to get your attention.” 

“You thought boils were the way to go?” 

“I know right.” He grins. “Apparently all I needed to do was get my self badly injured.”

“Oh shut up.”

“You like me though. “ He teases. 

“Yeah.” She sighs, pulling him in again. “I do...”

#Sirius Black #Sirius Black x reader #Sirius black imagine #Sirius x reader #Sirius imagine #Sirius Orion Black #Marauders #remus lupin #James Potter #peter pettigrew #Sirius #harry potter

[spellcastersjudgement]

Jaden nd bastion for that domestic ask thing? >:3c

THE OTP YES i have so many feelings and everyone needs to hear me sob over the nerd baby and his superhero 

also that icon is the content i look for on this hellsite well done 

who is the big spoon/little spoon Jaden is the little spoon!! he prefers being the big spoon tbh he likes curling up against bastions fuckin ripped back but jaden always falls asleep first because he has to get this twelve hours or else he will be a grumpy boy but bastion?? bastion stays up all night drinking coffee and doing god knows what bc he’s the type of guy thats like ‘hey jaden im gonna go read a bit before i got to bed’ and then he fuckin stays up all night because he has no self control lmao so when it’s like 3am and he’s finally put down his book or finished dicking around on the computer he finally gets in bed and he doesnt want to wake up his husband (yes theyre married in my mind ok im love them) so he just lays down and pulls the human kuriboh to his chest and falls asleep 

what is their favorite non-sexual activity the standard answer is Card Games but besides dool masters they like to go on drives and look at stars and talk abt whatever. bastion is a chemical engineer and jaden’s his professional duelist trophy husband so they dont get to be together as much as they want bc jaden’s tournament schedule so when they’re together they gotta make it count u know so bastion will pick jaden up from the airport and they’ll just start driving out of the city talking about DM or what bastion’s been up to or whatever’s going through jaden’s mind (an enigma lmao) and then when there are no more streetlights to make it difficult to see the stars they’ll pull over and lay on the hood and cuddle and keep talking. it’s like 4am before they finally go home and since they’re going to sleep at the same time jaden finally gets his chance to be the big spoon 

who uses all the hot water in the morning getting jaden to shower is a fucking struggle he’s like a cat. living in the slifer dorm made him accustomed to being a generally gross person in general so he lives off dry shampoo and body spray so he doesn’t smell like hassleberry after a workout so that leaves bastion to take all of the water because he showers every morning after his run and insists on h is hair being perfect and well taken care of. like the guy has at least five different hair care products in the shower at all times while jaden, even though he’s dumb thick rich, buys that 3-in-1 crap he and syrus used to make stretch for a month back in college. jaden is also known to stick his kuriboh hair under the sink and shake it out like a dog because he is a gross boy that usually gets up about ten minutes before he has to leave so there’s no time for an actual shower and we’ve gotten away from the actual question but the tldr is bastion stands under the hot water he’s got one of those mirrors to shave in the shower while he’s doing his deep conditioning treatment and has a pore strip on his nose for beautiful ™ skin 

what they order from take out this one ties in a lot to my sageshipping BrOTP headcanons (on god there needs to be a brotp ask so i can scream to the world my love for bastion/alexis friendship) but the bit of background is that bastion and alexis would always order from this indian place that was open real late at night when they were in grad school together (no delivery at duel academy cause its an island u know) so it has a special place in his heart. jaden is a wimp when it comes to spice but since bastion loves it they order it anyway and the people that deliver the food know to make it wimpy baby spicy for jaden so he doesn’t end up sweating half his body weight up and crapping out lava four hours later 

what is the most trivial thing they fight over oh god they dont fight a lot because they love and appreciate each other’s eccentricities but if they’re going to fight its going to be over who’s doing the driving. they both love cars, bastion likes taking it apart and modifying them and whatnot and jaden likes the aesthetique (though his aesthetique is painting flames on a corolla jaden u lil shit smh) and they both like to go fast so when they go out they bitch abt who gets to drive. bastion tells jaden he doesnt appreciate the feel of the machine and jaden says bastion drives like a fucking old man so they end up settling the matter with rousing game of rock paper scissors 

who does most of the cleaning NEITHER OH MY GOD theyre both total slobs. bastion’s desk and home office is covered in his notebooks and duel monster cards, his walls covered with god knows what (formulas, dates, to-do lists, grocery lists) the guy just grabs the sharpie and starts writing because he’s afraid of forgetting something if he doesnt get it down right then. jaden lives in filth he has three day old bowls of cereal at his desk and uses used napkins as tissues he is certifiably NASTY. anyway they hire a housekeeper to make sure the entire house doesnt fall into disarray and she’s like their surrogate mother making sure they eat more than takeout and coffee and making sure the house smells nice. they call her Mama Cheryl (good middle aged mom name) and she’s the embarrassing mom at jadens local tournaments the kind that prints out huge pictures of his face and wears shirts with Neos on them and cheers for her boy v loudly. again we’re away from the question but i have a lot of headcanons abt this i’ll probs put in my dissertation lol 

what has a season pass in their DVR hmmm this is an interesting one…i like to think jaden loves crime shows because they’re heroes and he likes watching the good guys ™ win in the end. his favorite show is psych (which u all should watch its hilarious) but since that ended a while ago he’s been in to criminal minds and SVU because he likes watching the really diabolical criminals get caught. bastion never knew his mans was into such dark stuff until he opened the season pass thingy and got quite the heart attack because he thought jaden was all butterflies and flowers and funny stuff but bastion had to learn the duality of man the hard way. bastion doesn’t watch television that much but his guilty pleasure is vikings on the history channel and stuff on the discovery channel because he loves learning what a nerd 

who controls the netflix queue jaden is the one that likes to watch netflix the most but i wouldnt say he’s in control per se. they’re usually down for watching what each other likes but in the end jaden will sometimes end up superseding bastion because dammit bas we are not watching a documentary about the dead sea scrolls you dont even believe in god and bastions like fine youre cute we can watch Castle (even though thats not on netflix but i wish it were) 

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working jaden. jaden all the way. bastion brings up a a wikihow article about how to fix the hvac system and he’s like I CAN FIX THIS and jadens like ily babe but you work with chemicals not with this kind of thing ur gonna break it like the time u tried to fix the sink and fuckin clogged the shit out of it we are calling Cheryl and Cheryl’s like jaden im a housekeeper call someone who actually does this for a living. anyway while theyre waiting for the professionals to get there bastion tries to demonstrate he knows what he’s doing he is smort by writing the steps and shit on the wall and jadens like youre so cute but no dont touch the heating system. he has to distract his lil nerd by asking him about what deck he should use for his next tournament or what the probability of drawing three polymerizations on the first turn is and bastion loves talking about math so jaden keeps asking questions until the system is fixed (he doesnt remember much of bastions mathematical explanations but bastion looks so cute with his eyes all bright and shiny talking about statistics) 

who leaves their stuff around BOTH they are slobs. jadens a bit worse if we’re being honest because while bastion leaves his papers and cards around schmaden schmuki leaves his underwear and food and cups in the living room and is prone to stripping off his clothes for one reason or another and just laying on the couch watching ESPN with his goddamn pants on the floor and saying they were constricting his knees or some shit when bastion asks why he feels the need to be half naked all the time. bastion had his own room in college so he doesnt quite understand why jadens comfortable just answering the door with a trail of clothing behind him because most people that dont know him assume he’s been getting bizzay but nah he just be Like That

who remembers to buy the milk jaden do because he drinks milk in his coffee. bastion drinks it black so if theres no milk its like eh whatever but jaden is a mess without his caffeine and he hates how bitter and gross it is when theres no milk in it so even if jaden’s not the one going to the grocery store he’ll write it on the wall so bastion will remember it because his mans dont check his texts that often but anything on that wall he fuckin remembers and jaden doesnt understand why he be Like That 

who remembers anniversaries both! they are dumb thick in love with each other and they like to plan little things to do for the anniversary of their first date, when they made it official, their wedding, etc. jaden is much more extravagant and will do something like jump on the bed until bastion wakes up and then drag him out for breakfast and get atticus to sing a really off-key renditions of classic love songs and bastion blushes so hard and its so cute it should be criminal lmao. bastion will get jaden a cute little gift like one of those pictures where the artist takes a photo and paints it so they can hang it on their wall. or bastion will fine tune his duel disk or get him a new card for his deck. they are in big gay love and i love them so much 

thanks for this ask on god i just wrote 1800 words of tutorship feels i have a problem lol 

#sailorspencer #ygogx #the boy #bastion #the otp #tutorshipping #i had sooo much fun writing this im love fluffy domestic tutorship boys

[nednapah]

Fan account of Sons of an Illustrious Father at Obaren (Stockholm, Sweden)

Soooo me and one of my closest friends, @imbossthatswhy​, went to go see the Sons of an Illustrious father show on the 13th of September in Stockholm, Sweden. I’m a bit late in writing this as I have been super busy working.

That show was so awesome. The vibe, the love, the overall good feels everywhere was so entoxicating. 

Just gonna recap this adventure so I can remember it in the future cause I have a shit memory.

We live in Denmark so first of all we had to get to Sweden. Day of our trip, I find out that I forgot my passport so I had like severe anxiety the whole journey to Stockholm and tried to get my friends to take a picture of my passport for me, just in case you know. Luckily, we weren’t checked so we made it safely to Stockholm and checked into our hostel. So, we wander around a bit, grab a coffee and try to get a grip of our nervousness. A lot of cigarettes were smoked on this 1-day trip.

We walk around a bit trying to locate Obaren but we’re hella confused ‘cause we see a seemingly swanky restaurant where the place should be at. We’re confused but determined to find the place. We end up going inside and my girl asks one of the workers where the bar is. She leads us into the swanky restaurant and towards some hidden stairs. We’re both like...what? How were we supposed to be able to find this place? Anywaaaays...We get there and we both don’t know what to do with ourselves. The door was closed and the facebook event said that the doors first opened at 8 pm but I checked the door just to be sure. It wasn’t locked or anything but all I could see was the stairs and some lights. No music, just silence so I went out again. 

We went outside to smoke a bit more and kill some time because we were there about 2 hours before opening because we were expecting there to be a queue. There wasn’t but we did run into a few people that came early like us. We met this one guy, who is now our friend, who was carrying a DC tote bag around along with wearing a Batman shirt, so we knew he must’ve been there to see Ezra. Luckily my friend is like super extroverted so she started all the conversations. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without her because I am extremely introverted and I don’t know how to strike up a conversation.

We end up going inside to wait in front of the Obaren door again. We wait some more and then suddenly the band comes downstairs and I was just gob smacked cause there he was. Ezra fucking Miller. I usually don’t get star struck because I work with actors and musicians as well but I could just feel my knees get weak when I saw him. First word that struck me about him was aloof because of the way that he walked around. Josh Aubin close behind and then Lilah Larson at the back. They went around a corner and then I didn’t see them again. At this point me and my friends were low key freaking out at the close proximity of the band.

We wait some more and people started eventually going into the bar. On my way up, I see the band and Ezra’s bodyguard sitting at a table waiting to get served. Struck again by awe by the casualness of it all.

So we get in and find some really good seats right by the edge of the scene at the bottom of the stairs that were there. We order beers and just start chatting again about how excited we all are.

I decide to go out to smoke to try and take my edge off and pass by the band’s table where they are all engaged in conversation. I hurry on out cause I really needed that smoke now. Finish smoking, pass the table again and rejoin my friends.

Time passes and eventually Ezra’s bodyguard comes to take a look at the accessibility point for the band to get up on stage. Some people were moved out of the way because they were sitting on the stairs. Me and my friends look at each other and concluded that the band was going to pass right by us when they were gonna go up on stage. We get even more excited.

The time finally comes. I see Ezra’s bodyguard closely tailed by Liliah, Josh & Ezra. They walk right past us and get up on stage. Ezra’s bodyguard stays down by the end of the stairs right next to me.

Lilah, Josh and Ezra then proceed to hug each other in one big group hug before settling at their instruments and starting the show. They started off with my favorite song, U.S. Gay. Lilah managed to break the A-string on the guitar early in the show. She was rocking out too hard I guess. The band proceeds to play songs (even with guitar) and change between singing and playing different instruments.

All in all, the performance was amazing! They all really did great. The energy shared between them was just awesome and ugh…I just can’t put into words how happy I am to have experienced them.

After they finished the show, we just sort of bask in the glory that was SOAIF.

Afterwards we see Lilah standing by the merch table so we walk over and wait in line to say hi to her. There was a lot of movement all of the sudden and I just remember being hella confused as to what was happening. My friend then proceeded to tell me that Ezra was out and that our new friend had made a beeline towards him. We had promised each other to take pictures of us interacting with him earlier in the evening so I just tried to keep up with them with my phone ready. So I’m there taking pictures of our new friend while he is talking and taking pictures with Ezra. After he was done with his interaction, people started moving again. My friend asks out loud what we’re all asking “Wait, what’s going on?”

Ezra heard her and replied back with “Oh, I’m a fire hazard so we’re just moving over here.” All smiles and everything. We just laugh at each other and then wait in line in front of Ezra. My friend starts talking to Ezra and I’m just behind her playing paparazzi cause we’re probably not gonna have an opportunity like this again. Everything must be documented! After a few hundred pictures (gonna be honest, my finger barely left that camera function) and some more waiting it was my turn. My friend managed to tell me that Ezra had stolen her pen and that I needed to get it back. No probs! Now it was my turn.

Eek. My mind turned to mush as I stepped in front of Ezra. This was a whole new thing compared to watching him perform. I lean in to talk to him because the venue had now turned into a club and loud music was blaring out of the speakers and some partygoers had arrived. I was super clumsy with my words cause, hahahahaha, introvert here! I am verbally incapable of making a good first impression. Didn’t tell him anything remarkably memorable because brain was mush. All I could manage to say to him was that I’ve been a fan since I saw him in “We Need To Talk About Kevin”. He replied with “Oh, that’s a long time!” I forget to tell him that I actually only saw that movie last year and just start giggling nervously. The one thing that I did notice throughout our interaction was how intense his eye contact is. He kept eye contact the whole time I was fumbling with my words and I swear he has the most kind eyes ever. I proceed to ask for an autograph and he just looks after a pen. “Oh, yeah you kinda stole my friends pen” I tell him as I find it on the table next to him. “Ah, yeah I have a habit of stealing things” he jokes to me whereas I reply with “Don’t we all though sometimes?” I then ask to take some pictures with him. He just goes “Alriiiight” and smiles at me. I tell him that I’m gonna take a few hundred pictures and he says something that I can’t remember and starts to laugh a little.

After the photos, I just thank him for coming somewhere remotely close to where I’m from (Denmark), give him a big hug and then I went on my way cause I wanted everyone that came to have a chance to talk and take pictures with him. I really didn’t want to take up more time than was necessary even though I could have stayed in front of him babbling like in idiot for hours. Also if you get a chance to get hugged by Ezra, GRAB HIM AND HOLD HIM CAUSE HIS HUGS ARE SO WARM AND LOVING. I could’ve died a happy woman on the spot.

I then turn to Ezra’s bodyguard who was standing right behind him and I just had to pay him a compliment. I told him that I had always seen him in pictures and thought that he had the most awesome style. He thanks me and pulls me in for a hug and gives me a kiss on my forehead. I then ask him how long they’ve been in Sweden for and if he has enjoyed himself. They were here for 2 days and yes they had been enjoying themselves. 

I regroup with my friends and we’re just so fucking excited cause we just met friggen’ Ezra Miller. Our new friend had to leave so we said goodbye to him.

Me and my girl then scan the room and see that Josh is now by the merch table so we finally go there to take a look at the merch as well. I found the pin that I had previously seen on their website but was sold out. So I ask for one of them and ask how much it costs and how to pay for it. We were told that we could download an app to pay for it or pay in Swedish kroners. New dilemma. I thought that they would have had a terminal to buy merch with so I’m slightly distressed by the thought that I wouldn’t be going home with that little pin as something else to remember the night by. So I ask the lady that I thought was in charge of the merch of what we could do so I could pay for it. She said that I had to ask Josh about it cause it was after all the bands’ merch. My friend jumps in and starts asking Josh if there was any other way that we could pay for the pins for (cause she wanted one as well). We tell him that we came from Denmark to see them and that we didn’t have any Swedish kroners or card to pay with. Josh just looks at the pin and then at her and me and quietly just tells us to take it. 

MY heart! My itty bitty heart couldn’t handle him being adorable. We thank him profusely and I gush about how I loved the gig that night. The whole vibe and them were just absolute love. Then I ask him if I could take some pictures with him. He gladly obliges and I take a few photos with him as well and invite him and the band to Denmark. I also got his autograph.

I had a much easier time talking with Josh cause he felt somewhat as awkward as I normally am. I then tell him that if they ever need a tour guide or a friend in Denmark then they can just go ahead and contact me as I dig out one of my business cards and give it to him. I then tried to look around after Lilah but I didn’t see her anywhere. I then ask out loud where she is and Josh starts looking around for her as well. “Hmm, I don’t know actually.” I thank him a lot again and then try and move out of the way cause I noticed that a lot of people had started queueing up for the merch.

I get out in the middle of some open area and reestablish some composure again. My friend and I have literally turned into teenagers again and are just so completely stoked by the whole concert and meeting the band. We compare autographs and I honestly felt a little let down because Ezra had written “Get it” along with his autograph on hers while he only wrote his name on mine. She said that she was gonna go back to him and get some new pictures cause hers didn’t turn out that well. I asked her if she could get him to write something a little more personal for me as well and then she was off. There were still a few folks in line waiting to meet Ezra and honestly....The face he makes when he’s hugging is just ugh...So serene, so peaceful. I couldn’t help but take a series of photos as well when he was hugging another fan.He hugged her for the longest time also and I was just thinking...”Yes, girl...I understand. You hug the hell out of him!”

I got some more photos of her with him and could see that she got some more photos in as well. She then takes out her little booklet with our autographs in it and I can see that she’s explaining what I asked to him. He took the longest time to write out the note and I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw what took such a long time.

What an adorable bean!

Honestly, I don’t know why I didn’t just ask him myself. Now looking back at it, I could’ve gone back for more hugs and a more personal note. I’m an utter idiot. 

But yeah, she got new photo’s and I got myself a more personal note. All in all a happy camper! 

Still think that I’m an idiot though for not going back for seconds.

But yeah, that was our night. Totally worth all the anxiety.

We never saw Lilah but if I get another chance to see the band again, then she is the first person I’m going to after the show!

#soaif #Ezra Miller #Josh Aubin #Lilah Larson #fan meeting #fan account #sons of an illustrious father #my brain was mush #sorry for being a dork #i was just so excited