#so yes destiel IS reciprocated as far as i'm concerned

[vminvisiblestring]

HOLY. SHIT.

EVERYONE... SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND BUCKLE UP

im going back and watching certain destiel scenes in spanish (because for some sick twisted reason i miss being queerbaited what else is new) and i need to share my findings with the class:

let me start by saying that the word "pray" has multiple translations in spanish, but i'm going to focus on the two i know: orar and rezar

orar/ore/oración - this is a more "stream of consciousness" way to pray

rezar/reze/rezó - means to recite (be it bible verses or prayers or phrases) and are more "preset" prayers

now that we know the difference between orar and rezar, let's look at two destiel in purgatory scenes, specifically the lines:

"i prayed to you, cas, every night", "cas, i need to say something", and "you don't have to say it, i heard your prayer"

8x02 - "i prayed to you, cas, every night"

this scene with the spanish audio translates to

"yo te invoqué, cas, cada noche"

what word is missing? ore and/or reze

the word they use instead of ore or reze is invoqué. for my funky non-spanish speakers/readers/writers

invoque = invoke

and invoke is neither a stream of consciousness nor a recital, but more of a summoning

basically, the line "i prayed to you, cas, every night" when translated to spanish then back to english is "i tried to summon you, cas, every night" which is exactly what dean was trying to do

more than praying to cas so he could hear him, dean was trying to get cas to come to him (hence the search for him in purgatory) and we know dean was trying to summon cas because cas acknowledges deans prayer when dean confronts him, saying, "i know" but follows it up with "ive been trying to stay one step ahead of them to keep them away from you"

so dean was trying his best to summon and find cas while cas was trying his best to stay away from and protect dean...

15x09 - "cas, i have to say something" "you don't have to say it. i heard your prayer"

"cas, i have to say something" translated with the spanish audio is:

"cas, escúchame, tengo que decirte algo importante"

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE DIRECT TRANSLATION BACK TO ENGLISH IS FOR THAT LINE???

"cas, listen to me, i have to tell you something important"

cas. listen to me. i have to tell you something important.

now, we know what dean had to tell cas was important, that it was something beyond what he had said in his prayer, but we just insinuated it. the spanish version acknowledges the subtext and translated it into the actual text! BUT THATS NOT ALL FOLKS because cas's "you don't have to say it, i heard your prayer" response in spanish?

"no tienes que decirlo. oí tu oración."

what word did they use? oración. what did we establish at the beginning was the meaning for orar/oración? stream of consciousness. and what was deans prayer? a stream of consciousness! dean wasn't reciting anything and he wasn't trying to invoke cas, he started pouring his heart out. he let it all out: the fact that he gets angry and he can't control it, the fact that he blamed cas for no reason, the fact that he should have told him to stay. dean let it out in a stream of consciousness prayer to cas because he thought he was never going to see him again and he wanted him to at least hear what dean really wanted to say but couldn't, not until a moment of complete breakdown where he thought he was going to lose him again.

dean didn't pray for his own benefit he prayed for cas's. dean didn't want cas to die knowing dean was angry with him, dean wanted cas to know it was never his fault, he did nothing wrong, he didn't take him for granted, he wanted him to stay, and, most importantly, that he forgave him. in case he never saw him again, dean wanted cas to be sure he was loved.

so those lines translated to spanish then back to english:

"cas, listen to me, i have to tell you something important"

"it's okay, i know you have a hard time pouring your heart out. don't worry, i know what you meant to say"

and for my masochists, the more accurate:

"it's okay, i know you have a hard time pouring your heart out. i know you're going to say you love me. but i'm not ready to say goodbye to you, so i have to stop you from telling me what i've wanted to hear all these years. believe me, i love you too, with my entire being, i love you too. so dont say it. not now. i'm content just being anywhere with you. as long as im near you, as long as you let me be near you, i'm happy"

#destiel #what im trying to say is that the prayer scene is deans confession #he poured his heart out and then nine episodes later cas did the same thing #and if that was a romantic declaration of love then fuck everyone deans purgatory prayer is ALSO a romantic declaration of love #so yes destiel IS reciprocated as far as i'm concerned #and the craziest part about it is that DEAN confessed first which is so unexpected #also want to say i'm separated from religion now but i grew up christian and we used the word oración so i can say from experience that yes #it really is a stream of consciousness pour your heart out way to pray #and my dad is an ex-catholic and he grew up as an altar boy in mexico and when i asked him if there was a difference he said yes because #when he would rezar it was more reciting verses that they had learned so again “preset prayer” #anyways #destiel is canon #deancas #dean winchester #dean #castiel #cas #dean is bi #supernatural #spn #supernatural season 15 #spn 8x02 #spn 15x09 #spn the trap #damn it really is a trap huh? we decided to ship destiel and we fell into the ultimate queerbaiting trap with no way out #arcane spn collection: long post #spn long post