#soph watches the expanse

[whatislovevavy]

9. Faint Heartbeat

Jake Seresin x OC (Caledonia Hughes)

WC: 4.5k

Masterlist  Previous Part   Next Part

Warnings: swearing, mentions of smut (18+), mostly angst

AN: Apologies for the wait, but here's the 9th chapter :) Enjoy :) Thank you @sebsxphia for the encouragement to write this story when it was in development, it means the world <3 Also a big thank you to @royallyprincesslilly for the design of the divider 

Please consider leaving a comment, a tip, or reblogging, leaving likes doesn't do anything on this hellsite. It helps with motivation when writing and the tips help since I’m between jobs at the moment :)

All of my writings will be added to my writing side blog @sophs-writing-nook 

These characters, except for Caledonia and Ella, are obviously not my own. This is an 18+ fanfic, so minors scoot pls. You are responsible for the media you consume. Do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate this fic without my explicit permission as it is my own creation. 

"Jake," 

Your honeyed glazed tone met his ears. 

The warm golden glow of his bedroom caressed his visual field, your upright form languidly supported by your hands behind you. 

His eyes traced the expanse of your body; red lace accentuating the curves of your lush breasts and the barely visible lace thong hugging your hips as you crossed your legs over the edge of his bed. 

He audibly swallowed, unable to move. 

You bit your lip softly, pearly teeth almost piercing the bottom lip, trailing your eyes up his form. 

He watched as the cherry red painted nail on your forefinger gleamed in the warm light as it moved in a come-hither motion. 

His legs moved on their own accord until he could feel the sweet, tart scent of strawberries touch his nose.

Only the soft buzz of unsaid electricity separated you both.

Your stare was too intense. Heavy and lust filled. He knew that once his eyes met yours, he wouldn't be able to look away. 

“Come closer.”

Jake didn’t know if he could get any closer. 

But none the less he followed the same honeyed tone, letting his hands softly uncross her legs and place them around his waist. 

Your breaths intermingled as your lips just grazed each other’s.

Your gaze met his, and he was trapped in place.

He swallowed, unable to look away.

Like a fly in a black widow’s web. 

Your eyes were glassy as they seemed to open up his soul for all to see.

Every good memory and bad intention he ever committed, laid before her eyes.

“Why didn’t you want me anymore?”

His throat tightened, regret flashing before his eyes as he took in your now teary eyes and sob wracked tone.

“Caledonia, I-,” he said desperately.

Suddenly, you were cowering away from him, moving further and further up the bed.

“Was I not good enough for you?”

Your tone made his heart clench.

“No, Sweet-”

“Too hard for you to love?”

Tears flowed down your cheeks, eyes red, and bottom lip wobbling with each sob that left your throat like a wounded fox. He could feel his heart sinking like lead into his chest, wanting to reach out, comfort you, and tell you that you weren’t hard to love.

Not in the slightest.

“Just go, Hangman,”

Your snarl made his heartbeat sound in his ears, making it feel like it was getting harder and harder to breath. 

Jake sucked in a breath as he awoke, met with only the silence of his room and subtle wirring of the air conditioner.

He was gasping for breath, feeling his sheets constrict him as his sweat permeated the material. 

His sheets crumpled to the floor as he flung his body upright and over the edge, putting his head in his hands as he tried to gain control of his breathing.

He let his eyes clench and relax.

This was his burden to bear.

His thoughts raced around one set of words, like planets around a star.

We shouldn’t do this arrangement anymore. I’m sorry.

—

Thump.

Thump.

The soft beating of your heart was only sound that registered in your mind that you were still alive.

We shouldn’t do this arrangement anymore. I’m sorry.

Perhaps ‘alive’ was too… optimistic.

We shouldn’t do this arrangement anymore. I’m sorry.

Existing. That was a better word.

We shouldn’t do this arrangement anymore. I’m sorry.

Breathing in. Breathing out. Heartbeat faint.

We shouldn’t do this arrangement anymore. I’m sorry.

You snuggled closer into your covers, letting your eyes clench shut before letting them rest.

The soft sequential knocks on your door met your ears. But you didn’t move.

“Caledonia? Sweetie?”

Penny’s soft voice, made you shift your head up a bit to see her.

Her face was painted in worry, with a tight lip and slight pinch between her eyebrows. 

“You hungry?”

Soft puffs of breath gently landed on your rumpled sheets, shaking your head. 

It had been like this for the better part of three weeks. Three weeks since those pixelated letters pierced your heart like an arrow into an elk. 

Penny softly sighed, “Ella will be here in a few hours, she wanted to do something for you that might make you feel better.”

Silence permeated your room that no longer held it’s usual air of coziness; now it just held the same sombering feeling of going through the wreckage of a tornado-struck house. 

You let out a small ‘Ok,” voice gravelly from lack of speaking that made Penny’s heart clench. 

“Let me know if you need anything, Ok?”

You softly sighed, nodding, adjusting in your bed.

—

“Ella, I don’t think I’m up for this,” you groaned as your friend dragged you towards Cuticles & Curls, the salon you both frequented when you could together.

He halted, putting her hands on your shoulders and taking a deep breath before bringing her gaze to yours.

“Caledonia, I’m not going to leave you at Penny’s to cry over some idiot manwhore who didn’t have the brains to know that letting you go was a mistake and for not doing what he did in person. You deserve better and… some of this is partially my fault, so let me help cheer you up. Michelle was worried about you, and understands, so she pitched in as well.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Dr. Cortez, your PhD advisor, pitched in money. For you to get your nails and hair done?

“She knows you’re going through a lot these past few weeks and haven’t been in the lab much because of it. I was surprised too.”

“You shouldn’t feel responsible for this. I was the one who signed that stupid contract. I’m the one who decided to fuck him.”

Your lip quivered, eyes beginning to glaze over. 

“Ok, stop. No. No more thinking about him, ok? Here, “ she gestured towards the salon, “he doesn’t exist, it’s just that strawberry shampoo you like and a million options for nail polish. Plus, we have to get your revenge look in order before you start work again.”

You nodded, wiping your nose with your sweatshirt sleeve, letting out a chuckle and a sniffle. 

—

“Do you feel better?”

A soft smile graced your lips, a now foreign warmth filling your chest.

“Yeah, I feel better, feel cleaner.”

You looked at your cherry red nails, watching as they gleamed the color of sin in the late afternoon sunset. 

Ella gave you a side hug as you both walked back to her car, admiring the reinvigorated copper shine of your locks and the fresh scent of strawberries wafting off of your locks.

“There is one more thing I had planned for us to do today.”

—

Phoenix tried to remember the words you told her as she watched Hangman make his way towards his aircraft, helmet languidly swinging in his hand.

"Just-just don't hurt him, ok?"

She could still vividly hear the sniffles and see your red tainted, tear soaked eyes as you begged Halo and Phoenix to not lay a hand on him. 

Phoenix had repressed her anger these past few weeks. For your sake. 

That didn’t mean she didn’t bust Hangman’s balls any chance she got. 

Her jaw was tense, eyes sharp as she pinpointed her glare on the back of his head.

How dare he laugh like he did nothing wrong?

Did taking you virginity mean nothing to him? 

Was defending her at Admiral Cain's retirement ball all for show?

"Phoenix, you hear me?" 

Her eyes darted to the familiar green ones, face still marked in one of steadily brewing aggression and hostility. 

"You fine covering me while I go after Fitch?"

She continued to stare at him, jaw tense before moving past him. 

—

"What the fuck Phoenix! I thought you had me up there." 

Phoenix continued walking, a stoic expression on her face as she strode. 

“Hey, what’s your problem-”

In a flash, Phoenix turned back to him.

“You are such an asshole, Bagman, you know that?” She hissed, venom dripping with every word. 

She watched his slightly taken aback face and parted lips. 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve put Cali through?”

Her eyebrows rose as she watched him swallow with a deer in the headlights look on his face.

She scoffed, “Nothing to say for your actions, huh?”

Jake took a look around to notice that their interaction had garnered the attention of his fellow aviators. 

She turned away.

“I did it for her, not for me,” His tone quiet. 

She stopped, almost unable to believe what she was hearing, the tone even more so given it was the antithesis of his entire persona.

He watched as she turned back to him, stopping only a few inches before him, holding his gaze like a leopard meeting one of a gazelle’s. 

She scoffed again, “We both know that’s a lie,”

He felt like someone had poured ice water down his back, and it didn’t help that he knew his colleagues were listening.

“You’ve always done things for yourself, it’s the one thing we could count on you for for years."

He swallowed, feeling the San Diego sun beat down on him. 

“Just answer me one thing… Why did you do it?”

Jake swallowed, “Do what?”

Phoenix rolled her eyes, tone sharp, “Do this fucked up arrangement with her? Did you even think about her in this or were you just too engrossed in the idea of being someone’s first?”

“I-I just wanted to help her out… I wanted her first time to be safe and… for her to enjoy herself.”

Her glare sharpened.

“Really? So you just didn’t think there be any repercussions to you being a “good samaritan”? Thought you could just drop her once your “job” was done?”

Her eyebrows rose, waiting for an answer.

Jake watched as her breathing grew heavier with poorly concealed rage.

“I don’t know.”

Wrong answer.

Crack. 

Jake stumbled back, almost losing his balance.

A few noises of surprise left the group of aviators standing in the periphery of the altercation. 

Pain spread from his nose to the rest of his head.

“Jesus,” he groaned, anger spreading through him.

He wiped against the underside of his bleeding nose, keeping his gaze on the woman infront of him, her fist clenching and releasing sporadically. 

But her gaze did not deter.

“Do you have any idea what you mean’t to her?”

The pain in his heart soon rivaled that of what throbbed in his nose. 

She nodded, biting the inside of her cheek at lack of response as she watched the drop of crimson dribble down to his lip.

“You’re a fucking coward,” She scoffed, leaving Jake to deal with his actions on the hot San Diego Tarmac.

—

“And this one is Ginger, she’s a few months old,” 

You cooed at the small orange tabby kitten on your lap, while Ella cradled an older black cat, Ghost. 

“Aww, she’s absolutely adorable,” you couldn’t hide the excitement on your face as she purred and nuzzled at your hand. 

“Thanks again, Katylyn, for letting us come by.”

The brunette smiled, “It’s no problem, we’re always welcome to visitors, and I owe a lot of favors to Ella.”

You softly smiled, turning your gaze back to the kitten in your lap.

But a pair of small blue eyes caught your eye in the corner crate.

The little thing looked so shy and scared.

Your lip quirked in your pout, “What’s that little one’s name?”

Ella and Katylyn both looked towards the little feline huddled in the corner.

“Oh, that’s Chanel, she’s one of the older cats here. Unfortunately, she’s been here about a year and hasn’t found a home yet. She’s on the shyer side and it kind of deters new cat owners looking to adopt that come in.”

Your lip quirked to the side as you took in each word.

Chanel deserved better than this.

“I’d like to see her, and maybe pet her if that’s alright.”

A small smile blossomed on Katylyn’s lips, “I think that can be arranged, Ella can you hold both Ghost and Gingy?”

“Of course, Oh wait I want to see her too”

You laughed as she got up, trying to balance both cats in her arms.

Katylyn cooed softly at Chanel as she gently unlocked the crate, leaving it open for her to see her surroundings. 

You pouted as you saw her sit up, but still cower towards the back of her crate.

“She’s really sweet, she just isn’t very open around people,” Katylyn reassured softly.

“Aw, sweetie, it’s ok. I’m not gonna hurt you,” you cooed as you softly brought your hand into the crate with a gently closed fist.

Your lip quirked as she gingerly sniffed and rubbed at your hand.

"Aww, you're just a little snuggle bug."

Chanel started to carefully move towards you, letting your hand settle on top of her head. 

Katylyn exchanged a look with Ella, shooting her a small smile. 

"Would you be interested in taking her home?"

You paused your movement on her fluffy, soft tan, white, and black blotched coat. 

"Oh, I don't know if I'd be able to-"

"I talked with Penny beforehand. If you wanna take her home, you can."

Your lips parted. 

Ella only gave you a love-filled smile. 

You gave Katylyn a small smile, biting back a full blown grin, "where do I sign?"

—

"See the cute man there? That's Agent Mulder, and we would die for Agent Mulder. But we won't die for any man, no matter how good they are at oral sex, but we'll make an exception for him."

You cooed as you scratched Chanel's head as she purred contentedly in your pajama clad lap in your bed, computer propped up and playing reruns of the X-Files.

You shook your head, feeling the visceral reaction to how Hangman used to treat you.

How he used to do sinful things with his tongue.

How he used to find those spots inside you so easily. 

How he used to kiss you and call you "Lass" and "Sweetheart."

How you couldn’t even think about the powder blue dildo in your bottom bedside drawer without thinking about how he filled you so perfectly. 

How he defended you at Admiral Cain's retirement ball.

No one had ever done anything like that for you, any of this before.

No. You weren't going to think about him. 

He made it clear he didn't want you anymore like that. 

He didn’t even want you as girlfriend; only someone he could get his dick wet with.

You should have listened to Phoenix.

A sigh left your lips, letting your thoughts wander to the bouquet of hydrangeas and baby's breath on your desk that Bob and Bradley had gotten to cheer you up. 

Your lip quirked. 

You almost forgot that Halo had tried to set you up on a date with one of her gym buddies on base.

The thought of going on a date didn't sound appealing in the slightest. If anything, you didn't want to become romantically involved with any man in the near future. 

It was all too much and you needed to heal after spending a few months in this situationship.

Plus, you were more than content to live vicariously through Ella and Bradley's newly sprouted relationship. 

It was bittersweet; you were happy for her but it also served as a devastating reminder of what you failed to have with Ja-Hangman. 

God, how stupid you were to do this arrangement with him. 

You couldn't even make use of the sex toys he bought you; they only served as a reminder of your mistake. 

Your libido had taken a hit with your steadily tanking mental health, but when you did feel in the mood you couldn't bring yourself to the same precipice of pleasure that he had been able to so easily. 

It frustrated you to no end when you let your thoughts wander.

He couldn't leave you alone, could he? 

Was the memory of his touch, smile, and gaze supposed to haunt you for the rest of your life?

Every time you felt that familiar tingle in your clit, your heart would drop. 

The reminder of what you had never had to begin with ever present. 

You could feel the dip in your mental state grow steeper as you pulled yourself from thoughts of the green-eyed pilot you gave your body and heart to.

A sigh left your lips as you clued back into the episode playing on your computer, Chanel's soft puffs of breath barely audible above Mulder and Scully's verbal exchanges. 

You both were just two girls that had been abandoned. 

Maybe that was why she warmed up to you so quickly.

You snuggled closer into your bed, mentally preparing for your first night at work in four weeks, Chanel still purring as you scratched the white fluffy coat on her back and under her chin. 

—

It had been four weeks.

Jake couldn't sleep. 

He hadn't been able to for a while. 

Those same pixelated words haunted each crevice of his mind, both day and night. 

As did Phoenix's on the tarmac. 

And her punch to his nose, which thinking back on it, he deserved. 

The dull pain in his nose came back at the memory. 

As did the continued glares from Phoenix and the looks of pity from Coyote. 

And the uncharacteristic silence from Bob. And the looks from Bradshaw. 

The last one he was sort of blindsided by. 

You’re such a dumbass, his gaze said everytime. 

He hadn’t had the energy or the courage to show his face at the Hard Deck since.

The interactions with his coworkers on base was enough.  

And he didn’t want to give Phoenix the opportunity to punch him again. 

He could feel each and every little thing get to him; Someone standing too close to him, an ill-placed joke, a co-workers gaze staying on him a little too long.

Everything itched his senses in the worst way. 

It didn’t help that his flying had taken a hit these past few weeks.

He couldn’t even drive by Francisco’s or the Biochemistry labs at UC San Diego without his heart turning to lead, sinking into the deepest, darkest pit in his chest.

He couldn’t look at the ocean for too long without being reminded of the dark sapphire hue of your eyes, or the red roses his neighbor had planted as they only reminded him of the way your lips looked when he danced with you at Admiral Cain’s retirement ball. 

He couldn’t think about the contract he made for you. 

The one that he had diligently penned in the activities he got to do with you that he had stowed away in his bottom bedside drawer. 

Maybe this was what an existential crisis felt like. 

Perhaps this decision wasn’t what was best. 

He didn’t understand why everything had gone to shit. 

Sure, it started with your smile and how you greeted him, eyes all bright and beautiful. 

The sex always had sprinkles of something more in it. More than just a friends with benefits relationship. But he tried his best to ignore the feeling, summing it up to just being good friends, and wanting to give her the experience that he knew few men could give her.

It was what you deserved, he reasoned. 

But then the sex became the closest thing he had ever described as love-making; holding hands, cuddling and making breakfast together afterwards, and sweet, loving exchanges.

And then you took care of him like no other woman besides what his mom had done. 

Not even his first real girlfriend. 

The way you looked into his soul with such softness as you rose up and down his cock that one night, was one of the most terrifying moments of his life. 

A soft knock on his door lifted his brain from the dark and murky thoughts that drowned his mind as he watched the overhead fan above his bed.

“What is it, Javy?” He said, voice raspy from lack of use. 

“We need to talk,” Javy closed the door behind him, taking a seat on Jake’s bed. 

“What’s there to talk about.”

“This, you’ve been like this for weeks. Getting snippy with people at work, socially ostracizing yourself, and it’s not everyday that Phoenix clocks you in the nose.”

Jake sighed, putting his head in his hands and groaning. 

It was all becoming too much. He just wanted to feel normal.

And for people to leave him alone.

He wished he could be able to meet a woman at the Hard Deck, take her home and then never have to worry about seeing her again. 

But he had no motivation to do so.

They weren’t you. 

“I’m fine, Javy.”

“Look, I know you’re not fine… And I think it’s because of you ending things with Caledonia.”

Jake’s blood turned icy at the mention of your name.

It still sounded so beautiful. 

He couldn’t bring himself to say your name during the past four weeks. 

He let out a rattled breath, “look, it doesn’t matter, just drop it.”

Javy gave him an incredulous look, scoffing, “No, it does matter, because the way I see it you broke Caledonia’s heart because you can’t handle having real feelings for a woman.”

Jake sent a glare his way, jaw tense.

Javy rose his eyebrows, waiting for his longtime friend to respond.

He couldn’t think a non-incriminating response, electing to stay silent and look towards the window with a softened glare.

But that was the only answer Javy needed. 

Javy looked closely at Jake’s face; the disheveled hair, layer of scruff on his cheeks, the irritability, the avoidance of coworkers and friends.

It all reminded Javy of the first, and only, time his dad broke up with his mom.

Javy’s father used to recount their break up during Valentines day or on his mom’s birthday, saying it attributed to him deciding to marry her.

“I just couldn’t live without your Mamãe, and that time away from her made me realize how much I loved her.” 

Javy’s lip quirked as he remembered his father’s soothing voice, so filled with love for his mom.

“You love her, don’t you?”

Jake’s eyes darted to Javy’s, sitting up.

“What?”

“I said, you love her, don’t you? That’s why you spent so much time with her at the bartop and decided to do this arrangement. And defended her so fiercely that night of the retirement gala. You love her."

Jake sputtered over his words, scoffing, shaking his head, eyebrows pinched.

“That’s- no, I was just-”

“No? So you just feel so bad about what happened with Caledonia that you’ve just been inducing a deep depressive episode, even though you’ve had situationships with countless other women before, and never showed even an ounce of remorse like this before?”

Jake swallowed, unable to speak, his thoughts racing as fast as his throat was closing up. 

Javy brought his open palm onto his shoulder, squeezing, “look, you need to talk to her, because what you’re doing is only hurting you and her. And contrary to popular belief, you both deserve better than that.”  

“I’m going to be at Delilah's tonight. I hear that Caledonia is coming back for the closing shift at Penny’s… and for what it’s worth, she cares about you. Genuinely. 

Javy gave him a sympathetic smile with a shrug as he turned to leave his room, the door closing with a soft click. 

A rattled sigh left his lips. 

He knew what Javy was implying.

She wouldn’t hurt you like Regina.

He knew that, but he felt love with Regina.

And this was more intense with what he had with you. 

But maybe what I had with Regina wasn’t love?

His eyes widened, sitting up with a look of relization on his face. 

What he felt with Regina wasn’t love. It was a deep infatuation. A dependence on her induced by manipulation and the hope that he would be enough.

Maybe that’s why you scared him so much. 

Because you loved him. 

His thoughts raced to a halt; only one thing on his mind: And I love her. 

He all but clambered out of bed to find you at the Hard Deck. 

—

“Here you go, guys,” you said softly with a smile as you served drinks to the group of aviators. 

“Thanks, Cal. You feeling better?”

You gave a gentle smile and a shrug towards Phoenix as she gave you a sympathetic smile in return, “doing as best as I can.”

She still hadn’t told you about breaking Jake’s nose.

Bob gave you a comforting smile. 

“How’s Chanel settling in?”

Your eyes drifted to Bradshaw’s kind ones, your smile growing brighter.

“She’s doing well, she’s started exploring the rest of the house and getting more comfortable… you guys are all welcome to come by and see her.”

“Wait, who’s Chanel?”

Your face morphed into an expression of realization as you looked towards Fanboy. You hadn’t told anyone about Chanel besides Phoenix and Ella. 

It made sense that Bradley would know since he and Ella were practically attached at the hip now. 

“Oh, sorry, she’s a cat I adopted about a week ago. Here,” you pulled out your phone, pulling up a few pictures, “isn’t she cute?”

“Oh my God, she’s fucking adorable. Jesus Christ.”

You started giggling as Fanboy’s expression shifted to one of intense happiness as he scrolled through picture after picture of your white, beige and black fluff ball with blue eyes.

Her laying on her back, pearl white belly up. Her snuggling into your side. Her looking expectantly at the foot of your bed.

“Ok, Chanel, I see you. Damn, she’s so photogenic,” you laughed harder as Payback took the phone from Fanboy. 

You were flagged down by a few patrons across the bar.

 “I’ll be back in a few, you can keep my phone if you guys wanna see more pictures, anyone else want anything?”

The group gave various answers of “no.”

As you left to deal with another set of customers during the Friday night rush, the group of aviators gathered closer to look over at your phone.

Rooster and Pheonix didn’t feel as inclined since they knew about her before the others.

They both exchanged smirks as their coworkers were reduced to cooing and awwing messes at the sight of your new companion. 

—

Caledonia said goodbye to the last of patrons leaving the Hard Deck, as she wiped down the last table. 

Soon, you were gathering her purse and sweatshirt from the backroom and locking the front door. 

A sigh left your lips as you turned around, eyes and hands preoccupied with getting your car keys out of your purse.

Your eyes rose to it’s normal level, doing a double take at what laid before her.

Your heart stopped, body tensing. 

A stubbly cheeked, hair disheveled, basketball shorts and worn t-shirt wearing man was standing a few meters ahead of her.

“Jake?"

Taglist: 

@marvel-hotchner @nemesis729 @a-lil-bit-nuts@justagirllivinginaghibliworld @mizzzpink @themusingofagothicsoul @mayhemmanaged @sebsxphia @potato-girl99981  @a-beaverhausen @withahappyrefrain @hangmans-wingman  @callmemana @joalslibrary @peachiicherries @mrsjaderogers @entertainmentgal8

@jkbindigo11 @princess76179 @clancycucumber230 @teacupsandtopgun

@chaoticassidy @superskittles @cherrycola27 @nancyxsorbet@h-ngm-ns @emma8895eb @djs8891 @novastories @urmom-999 @taytaylala12 @zombicupcake3 @catsficrecs @abaker74 @kmc1989 @hangmanshoney @caidi-paris @i-wanna-be-your-muse @shara-ne @memeorydotcom @memoriesat30

@shanimallina87

#jake seresin #learning from the best #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin smut #glen powell #tgm #top gun maverick #hangman smut #jake seresin fic #jake seresin fanfiction #hangman #jake hangman smut #jake hangman seresin smut

[captainbucky-yt]

"Don't You Remember"

— Benedict Bridgerton x Sophie Beckett (AU)

Chapter 17: a bridgerton's love [ ao3 ]

[ previous ] [ next ] [ masterpost ]

Chapter Summary: Benedict shows Sophie just how good he can help her feel.

Content Warning: Mature/Explicit/Smut. Minors DNI. M/F nudity. Hand jobs. Vaginal fingering/penetration. Oral fem receiving. Loss of virginity. Unprotected M/F intercourse (wrap it before you tap it guys). Minor praise kink. No pull out.

Taglist: @trenko-heart (if you'd like to be added, let me know)

Exert: (below cut)

Kisses pressed hotly across her chest before descending between her breasts. Through his lashes, Benedict watched Sophie’s eyes roll back and her mouth open as she panted. He had many thoughts of rushing straight to entering her— heavens knew how much the low tightness in his stomach was throbbing with want for her— but Sophie deserved all the pleasures that he had promised.

Her thighs brushed against his hips until her knees were up by his waist. Benedict sucked upon one breast and fondled the other, before continuing his descent. The artist within him screamed to worship her. For every curve in her body to be caressed and adorned with charcoal on paper.

“I will draw you like this, someday,” he said, his voice somewhat muffled by her skin.

Sophie whimpered a noise that he could not determine.

Benedict spread his knees on the bed and pushed back on his hands, bringing his mouth closer to where he wanted to go. Sophie’s legs fell apart, and he dragged his newly calloused fingertips up from her ankle of one, across the inner of her knee. He was left to watch the heavy rise and fall of her chest, the expansion of her ribs. His mind spun out what a glorious painting this view would make— her wanton body and her womanly sex just appearing on the canvas. For him.

Only for him.

“You are a goddess.” He planted his lips on her hip, swiped his tongue across her skin and blew gently on the mark he’d made.

“You are delusional,” Sophie muttered in response with a graceful laugh.

“Don’t argue it Soph.” His lips travelled further, to the inner of her thigh as Benedict repositioned himself. “I am the one touching you right now, and if I believe you are a goddess, then that is what you are.”

#benedict bridgerton #bridgerton #benophie #benedict bridgerton fanfic #benedict bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton fanfic #sophie beckett #benedict x sophie #sophie x benedict #benedict bridgerton smut #luke thompson #bridgerton au #benedict bridgerton au

[shootthemessenger]

would you still hold my hands if they were cold to the touch? [w.v.]

wilhemina venable x fem!reader

requested: one where wilhemina is falling in love for the first time (not her first relationship but first time being in love) [anon]

disclaimer: strong language, sexual nature, brief mentions of sex, just barely nsfw shower scene (mostly innocent)

If, years ago, someone would have told Wilhemina Venable that she was going to spend most of her mornings watching her girlfriend sleep, she would have laughed directly into their face.

Partly it would have been because of the ‘girlfriend’ bit, seeing as she hadn’t felt the need to entertain a relationship in years.

And partly because it felt mundane and, frankly, stupid to watch anyone sleep. She could have argued that it was creepy too, if she had dwelled on the thought long enough.

She should have been disgusted with herself; with the need she felt to spend the entirety of her morning watching your chest rise and fall in time with the expansion of your lungs.

This morning, in particular, Wilhemina’s eyes had landed on you as the clock’s smaller hand fished around for the seven. The apartment was quiet enough for her to hear the softness in your breathing.

Her gaze fell onto your parted lips before traveling down, over the dip in your throat and the curve of your collarbone before landing onto the gentle and rhythmic movements of your chest.

Her hand, as if working with a mind of its own, came up to press light touches to the edge of your jaw. She was careful not to wake you as she traced the bone with her fingertip.

God, did you make her weak.

She let her finger trail down your neck before she pressed ever-so-gently into your pulse point. Her eyes began to close as her heartbeat fell in time with your own.

To know that everything she had ever needed was lying next to her in human form was unnerving to her. You were so fragile, even under her gentle touch, she didn’t want to think of all the tragedies in the world that were capable of breaking you.

Often times when the two of you were alone, Wilhemina would hold you between her hands; press her palms flat against your rib cage and align her fingers with the curve towards your back.

You loved it because she was holding you and, dear God, did it feel good to just be held. She loved it because she gained power from knowing she held her entire everything between two palms.

In that moment, watching you sleep didn’t feel creepy to her. It was her chance to bask in the adoration she held for you.

She nearly lulled herself back to sleep, feeling your heartbeat underneath the pad of her finger, before she forced her eyes opened and blinked herself awake.

She knew that she wouldn’t last much longer awake if she didn’t make an effort to move.

So, she coaxed herself towards the bathroom, much to the detest of her body which wanted nothing more than to slither back into bed with you. She had been careful not to expose your naked torso to the unforgivingly cold morning air. She moved slowly as to hush the gentle thumping of her cane against the hardwood flooring.

When she finally did reach the bathroom, the harsh yellow light was a rude awakening to her as she turned it on.

She shot one last glance at your sleeping form, which had subconsciously shifted closer to her side of the bed where she was sure you were gaining much warmth.

She took the next few seconds to examine herself in the bathroom mirror.

She thought she looked pathetic; her hair had fallen past her shoulders in tired-looking red curls and her eyes were soft and cloudy from sleep.

You had always told her she looked beautiful in the mornings, given that it was impossible for her to hide the softness in her personality when she was simultaneously fighting off sleep.

She didn’t see it that way.

To her; she was showing weakness and it was only going to get her chewed up and spit out just like anyone else. She was, of course, being a bit dramatic.

She let her head drop for a moment, feeling the strain tugging at the muscles between her shoulder blades.

She hadn’t noticed she was crying until a tear slid down the apple of her cheek before splashing onto the bathroom counter underneath her. She didn’t even know why she was crying.

Quickly, she wiped away whatever else could have been brewing in her eyes without giving it the chance to paint the skin on her face.

“Get a grip.” She scoffed at herself, meeting her own eyes in the mirror as she began to shed what little clothing she had been wearing from the night before.

Oh, the night before.

Usually, when she had thought back onto a night of sex she felt sick to her stomach to think she had been so vulnerable in the presence of another person.

But it was different with you. She wasn’t worried about how pathetic she must have looked, out and open for the world to see. In fact, she wasn’t worried about anything.

It was more like, she was trying to fight the racing images of you withering and whimpering underneath her or watching you handle her body like a skilled sailor pivoting your ship through stormy seas.

It was more like, being thankful that she could remember the way it felt to have you pull and press and bite like you knew exactly how to please her. Like you were willing to devour every inch of her skin.

It was more like, the only thing she had to be embarrassed about was the fact that she had ever let another person touch her when there were sounds buried deep inside her that never existed until you.

And she could do little to fight the smile that tugged at her lips as she turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up to a more comfortable temperature.

She would have hated herself had she met herself years ago.

But she didn’t care much for that fact as she stepped into the bliss of a morning shower and let the water wash over whatever contempt was probing at her.

She took one long deep breath through the steam of her shower and she started to laugh; loudly, for no reason, with no hesitation.

She must have been loosing her mind.

It was a short laugh, but it felt so good.

She was so focused on the feeling of her shower that, over the soft drumming of the water against the floor, she didn’t hear you coming into the bathroom and closing the door behind you.

She felt you step into the shower accompanied by a rush of cold air that made her promptly turn around to meet your sleepy gaze.

There were no words spoken for a moment as she, rather shamelessly, let her eyes wander around the entirety of you.

“You’re beautiful, kitten.” Was all she said but it was enough to coax a small giggle from your tired lips.

Without a second thought, she slithered her arms around your waist and pulled you in for a kiss directly under the beads of hot water.

Her wet skin pressed against yours as her hands moved to tangle in your hair, pulling you so deliciously close that she couldn’t have possibly pulled you in any more.

When the time came to come up for air, Wilhemina moved to press your back to the cold tile wall behind you. Her hands slid down your temples to cup at your cheeks, holding your face between her hands.

“I’m in love with you, I hope you know that.”

a/n: no one will ever stop me from writing soft mina when i’m sad, btw this took three months and six very different drafts

taglist: @mssallymckenna , @proudnlittle , @coxmicbabygirl , @sapphicpaulsxn , @its-soph-xx , @fand0m-obsess3d-g33k , @paulsonix , @madamevirgo , @kikaykimkim , @billiedeansbottom , @d14n4ol , @supremeinlilac , @blackcosmicwitch

#wilhemina venable imagine #wilhemina venable x reader #wilhemina venable #billie dean howard imagine #billie dean howard x reader #billie dean howard #cordelia goode imagine #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode #sally mckenna imagine #sally mckenna x reader #sally mckenna #ally mayfair richards imagine #ally mayfair richards x reader #ally mayfair richards #mildred ratched imagine #mildred ratched x reader #mildred ratched #sarah paulson imagine #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson #lesbian imagine #american horror story #american horror story x reader #american horror story apocalypse #ahs apocalypse #ahs x reader #ahs wilhemina #wlw imagine #wlw x reader

[aeide-thea]

strongarmed my dad into watching the expanse bc soph's been talking about it and like, unclear whether this is evidence of quality or not but i will say that i can't multitask thru it the way i normally do and still have any idea whatsoever what's going on—

but really the point of this post is that i've rarely felt as well-represented as i have by thomas jane's terrible queer hair on this show, lmao

#haggard as hell with scraggly-ass hair and yet: inexplicably hot #genuinely aspirational #journaling #tvblogging #gender realities

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Two Live Crew Job

leverage 2.07

Sophie: I love the symbolists.

- - - - -

🥰 I love when the ot3 are together in one frame 🥰

- - - - -

the dogs playing poker painting tho

- - - - -

Eliot: Any sudden movement's gonna cause displacement of the water. It'll set it off.

Parker: Is that C-4?

Sophie: Oh!

(Nate grabs Parker’s hand before she can touch the vase)

Sophie: Parker... please don't poke at the motion-sensitive bomb.

Nate: So, uh... secret admirer?

Sophie: Well, it's no secret they want me dead.

Hardison: What do you think, man?

Eliot: I'd have to reach into the vase to disarm it. It'd go off.

eliot’s lips quivered when he said that bc he’s so nervous for her im-

- - - - -

Parker: Do you have any instant pudding?

(everyone looks at Parker in surprise. Cut to Parker pouring pudding into the vase)

Parker: The powder hardens the liquid, tricks the bomb into thinking it's not moving.

Eliot: Should give you a little wiggle room. Very little

MASTERMIND PARKER

- - - - -

(mourners are gathered around a casket with a line of black cars parked nearby. An open casket shows Sophie lying inside. Eliot is standing at a podium)

Eliot: She had a way of taking care of people, you know? She was a sister... she was best friend, all rolled into one. I'm gonna miss you, Soph-- So-O-O-O-O much, Katherine.

(Eliot leaves the podium. Hardison stands to let Parker walk by and she approaches the podium. Nate stands at the back of the crowd, Eliot joins him)

Parker: Katherine and I have known each other forever. Almost two years. Yeah, I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot to you, but it is to me. I never really had many friends. Which is why losing her is so hard. (sighs) It's so creepy. I mean, she's really dead. I was just talking to her and now she's just laying there. She was just laying there.

(Nate coughs and Hardison gets up to go to Parker)

Parker: Can you hear me?

Hardison: Parker. I'm -- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, y'all. What – What she really means is just, um, Katherine was like family. And sometimes, friends are all the family that you have. So... you -- you good? Come on. Just – let -- just keep going. You got all hysterical and emotional

- - - - -

btw there is at least one door from behind the briefing monitors which means they have at least one extra room (most likely more) from the adjacent apartment eliot knocked the wall down from

they have guest rooms or something back there for if anyone needs a place to crash

- - - - -

Sophie: We used to work together. We did the Copenhagen job in '97, the Berlin Polytech job in '98, and, Nate, remember – Remember that great run in Moscow?

Nate: "That great run"? I chased you for three months.

Sophie: Well, uh, technically, y-you chased us. Sorry.

Hardison: Are you saying that you saw other teams before us?

Parker: Really just another Nate before Nate.

Eliot: Let me ask you a question -- what bugs you more, is it the fact that he was with Sophie first or that he outsmarted you?

Nate: Moving on

eliot puts his arms over the couch and behind parker and I’ll take it + them grinning at each other seeing nate’s discomfort

- - - - -

mikel is wearing flannel in this one and you can now take bisexual mikel from my cold, dead hands

- - - - -

Sophie: Wrong place, wrong time. Starke must have seen me, and now that I’m one of the good guys, decided to get rid of me, because...why? Because... Because I know his scams. Because... I know his favorite scam.

[Warehouse]

(Stark’s team is sitting on crates looking at monitors as he goes over the job)

Starke: Cafe and a moonlit terrace.

Sophie (voice over): The Mona Lisa variant.

[Briefing Area]

Parker: Oo! (claps) That was the first one I learned!

- - - - -

(Hardison is drinking orange soda and working on a computer as Sophie watches)

Sophie: I'm not dead. I'm right here, Parker. So, this is, um, it's what you do, right? You take footage of us on cons and you -- you -- you -- download it into that?

Hardison: Yeah, I analyze it, I monitor comms, I scan for a police frequencies, I -- You had no idea I do all this, did you? Well – d-does nobody respect the van? The van is important. What -- What is that?

Sophie: It's lemon-Zest tea. I got to tell you, it's -- It's a little bit -- It's a little bit whiffy in here.

Hardison: It smells like hard work. That's what it smells like. D-- Whiffy

sophie has no idea what hardison does and does not like the van smell. hardison is ready to go off

- - - - -

Sophie: That was some nice things you said at my funeral.

Hardison: Wait. We -- We trust Nate to make sure the plan works. We trust you to make sure we’re all okay.

- - - - -

Starke: Word is on the street that you run the nastiest crew this side of the Atlantic.

Nate: Well… what?

Starke: Come on. Everybody knows. You robbed a bank and you -- you framed a judge. You rigged a jury to steal a million-Dollar settlement. I hear that you even conned the Irish mob out of a couple of million dollars just this year. Now, that's style.

Nate: That's one way of looking at it.

Sophie: Listen, Nate, if you tell him the truth about us, we're blown

- - - - -

Hardison: I know this style. This is Chaos.

(computer screen flashes signal found. Hardison grabs his keyboard and heads for the back door of the van)

[Parking Lot]

(Hardison exits his van and a little ways down the parking lot, Chaos exits his van with a laptop in his hands. They square off like an old west gun fight)

Hardison: Chaos. I heard you were in jail. Guess I was wrong.

Chaos: Hardison. I heard you sucked. Guess I was right.

(they eye each other across the lot, their fingers twitching. Abruptly they raise their keyboard and laptop and begin typing while car alarms start going off)

this wild wild west showdown tho

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, now, we know Starke. This guy goes by the name Apollo. I've chased him a couple of times -- infiltration, physical security.

Parker: People in that line of high-risk work tend to be very unstable. We could use that. Write that down.

(the rest of the team exchange glances)

🥰 she’s sitting next to eliot with popcorn between them 🥰

- - - - -

Hardison: Now, this person here's ex-Mossad, sealed records. Mikel Dayan used to work both sides as a mercenary.

Eliot: Mikel Dayan. I know that name.

Hardison: You were scared to fight a girl.

Eliot: She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison.

Hardison: I don't care.

Eliot: Seriously. She actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. (starts gesturing time parker) She broke the mop and took --

Hardison: Eliot. Eliot. (turns back to monitors) Now, this here's Colin Mason, otherwise known by his hacker handle as "Chaos." As... whatever. Hacked the pentagon, the NSA. The CIA computer guys call him the Kobayashi Maru.

Eliot: What the hell is that?

Hardison: None of y'all got that? Seriously?

Parker: Star Trek.

Hardison: Thank you

parker’s reluctant fistbumb I love them + it’s officially canon that she’s seen at least some of the movies

- - - - -

Nate: I tried to say to her I’m sorry, you know, and I don't –

Security: Because, as men, we're taught to hide our emotions. You share or you pay the price.

Nate: Yeah

- - - - -

Mikel: You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?

(Eliot walks forward, taking off his jacket and hanging it on some pipe)

Eliot (in Hebrew): Not unless she hits me first.

(they approach each other and begin to fight, blocking each other until Mikel hits Eliot in the chest, knocking him back. He touches where her blow hit.)

Eliot (in Hebrew): That counts

let me just say I LOVE that they had a woman hitter

- - - - -

Starke: What is going on, guys?

Guard: Motion sensors went off, sir.

Starke: I already checked that out. Everything's secure. And who's this?

Guard: Uh... he just got lost. No problem.

Starke: Sir, you okay?

Nate: Yeah, I’m fine.

Starke: I'm Nathan Ford. I'm with the insurance company.

(Nate gives Starke an irritated look)

- - - - -

Parker: What kind of bird did you use?

Apollo: North American Kestrel. It's small-Bodied, but its wingspan is expansive enough that it sets off the motion detectors.

Parker: I would've gone with the Scarlet Tanager. Similar wingspan, but the brighter colors are more distracting.

Apollo: Yeah. That was my second choice.

(Apollo scrambles forward in the ductwork. Parker also scrambles forward, headed another way)

- - - - -

eliot taking off his shirt too? equal rights

- - - - -

Starke: Now, why would you want to kill Sophie?

Chaos: Come on, Starke. (gathering equipment) I had set up the perfect double-cross, and then you want to go and bring in a new player at the last minute? "Oh, and by the way, guys, that new player is gonna be Sophie Devereaux." There's no way I’m gonna try to out-con Sophie Devereaux! And I hate to break it to you, Starke, but she was the one that everybody was always scared of. It was never you.

- - - - -

[McRory’s Bar]

(Parker and Apollo sit at a table with locks)

Parker: Go.

(they begin picking locks to see who is fastest. Across the room, Eliot and Mikel sit at a table)

Mikel: I can top that. (pulls her shirt aside to show a scar on her shoulder) Frag grenade, Somalia.

Eliot (pulls up his sleeve to show scar on his arm): Myanmar. Sniper.

Mikel: I was a sniper in Myanmar for a while.

Eliot: When?

Mikel: 2003.

(Eliot looks surprised. Mikel holds up the handcuffs and Eliot quickly pulls her hand down)

Eliot: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We can't have that.

Hardison (walking by): Handcuffs. Y'all nasty

(eliot has a handcuff kink and was probably pegged within an inch of his life that night. I said what I said.)

- - - - -

(Sophie stands looking down at her grave. The headstone for Katherine has been replaced with one for Sophie Devereaux. Nate approaches and stands next to the grave)

Sophie: Starke was right. I'm not Sophie Devereaux anymore. I haven't been for ages. I... you killed her, you and your silly crusade.

Nate: It's just a name.

Sophie: No, they're not just names, not to me. All my aliases, every one of them, I -- I know when their parents died. I know when they had their first kiss.

#leverage #leverage 2.07 #leverage 2x07 #the two live crew job #leverage season 2 #season 2 #notable moments #mine

[ericsonclan]

Walking a Knife’s Edge

Summary: Marlon considers his friendship with Sophie and if it could ever be something more.

Read on A03:

Notes: Wrote this for @stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale ‘s TWDG One Shot prompt for May. Was able to get all the points and still make it sound natural, so I’m super happy with it :D

Marlon sat on the bannister of the deck on Ol’ Kickass, his expression somber as he looked out at the calm sea. He was thinking back on the scars Sophie had inadvertently shown him when they’d gone to that cave for a swimming lesson. To think that she’d been beaten so badly in her time on that other ship that her scars would never truly heal… the thought sickened Marlon. He wished there was something he could do for her, some way to ease at least a small part of the internal pain she carried, but he was coming up empty. All he could do was be there for Sophie as a listening ear or a supportive sounding board whenever she wanted to talk. It wasn’t enough, but it was all he had.

“Hey, Marlon,” Brody’s voice was cheerful as she approached him. “Mind if I sit with you while I have my lunch?” Her face fell when she saw the look on his. “Shit, am I invading your privacy? I know that’s hard to come by on a ship. I’ll just leave-”

“You don’t have to go. I’d actually like the company,”

“Well, alright then,” Brody plopped down beside him, pulling an apple out of her pocket. A dagger was in her other hand. Carefully she began to peel the apple. The curling peel fell in pieces under the waves beneath their feet from time to time as she worked.

Marlon smirked at her as she took her first bite. “Really? All you’re having for lunch is an apple?”

Brody shrugged. “We’re running low on supplies. And my stomach can’t handle another stew right now. Omar’s been making them really rich lately,”

“Still, no meat to supplement it? Not even a roll?”

“They’re full of weevils,” Brody responding, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

“Ok, that’s fair,”

They sat in silence for a few moments, legs dangling off the edge as the waves crashed against the gently rocking ship. Brody wasn’t saying anything, but Marlon could tell that she wanted to.

“You’ve got a question?”

“It’s just… you’ve seemed awful quiet these last couple days. It isn’t like you,”

“Just had a lot on my mind,”

“Was it something that happened when you and Soph went swimming?”

Marlon looked over at Brody, studying her eyes. What did she suspect? “It’s not my place to say,”

“Oh, OK,” Brody returned to kicking her legs, looking out at the endless expanse of sea. “Y’know, for what it’s worth I think the two of you are cute together,”

“What?!” Marlon’s shocked expression was mirrored by Brody’s.

“Damn it, did I misread things? I’m sorry!” Brody looked down in shame. “I just thought with how close the two of you have been lately that maybe there was something more there. That’s how it started with Mitch and I. Though I guess it was a lot more teasing and bantering on our end. The affection came later. You and Sophie seem to get along so easily. I’m glad she has someone she feels she can trust,”

Marlon shrugged. “I don’t know how much help I’m being. Sophie’s been through so much… being lost at sea for all those years just to wake up and find out what Minnie’s become, what she did to her own friends? I don’t think having a friend is going to fix it all,”

“Well, it certainly can’t hurt,” Brody glanced over at Marlon uncertainly. “And feel free to disregard what I say next if it’s not true, but if there are feelings there with Sophie, I’d just give it time. Not every romance has to be expeditious,”

“Expeditious?” Marlon’s brow quirked in confusion. “Where did that come from?”

“Did I not use it right?” Brody blushed in embarrassment. “Prisha said it the other day when she was talking about some sort of strategy with Clem. I figured I understood what it meant so I thought I’d give it a whirl,”

“I mean, I think you used it right. It was just a bit unexpected,”

“What I’m trying to say is every couple’s different. For Louis and Clem it only took a few months before they knew they wanted to be together while it took me years to figure out why Mitch was so special to me. All I’m saying is you don’t have to get everything sorted out all at once,”

“All this assumes Sophie even likes me,” Marlon responded, his boot dully thumping against the side of the ship.

Brody’s eyes widened at his tacit acknowledgement of his own feelings, but she quickly contained herself. “No matter what I know you mean a hell of a lot to Sophie. Don’t sell yourself short on how important that friendship is,”

Suddenly the door that connected the lower and upper decks burst open. Mitch strode out, his arms cradling something wooden. His eyes brightened when he saw his girlfriend. “Holy shit Brody, you gotta see this!” He ran over, holding out the item excitedly. “You know how Willy and I have been working on alternate peg legs for Clem? Check it out!” Suddenly he unsheathed the peg leg, showing a hidden blade within. “Knife leg! If anyone every tries to disarm Clem, she can just whip out this baby and do some serious damage!”

Brody smiled at Mitch’s excitement. “That’s great! Are you going to be able to convince Clem to wear it though?”

“Willy’s trying to convince her now. We were thinking maybe if we had support from someone besides the two of us she might be willing to give it a try,” Mitch looked at his girlfriend, his eyes silently pleading.

“You want me to convince Clem to try out the knife leg?”

Mitch nodding silently, clutching his creation.

Brody let out a good-natured sigh. “Well, it’s worth a shot. I’ll see you later, Marlon,”

“See you,” Marlon watched as Brody walked away with Mitch, her expression warm as he chattered excitedly about the new leg. He couldn’t deny that he was jealous of what they had. He knew Brody meant well with her encouragement that things between him and Sophie might develop into something more, but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. It would be selfish of him to do so. Sophie was trying to navigate a brand-new life right now, struggling to reclaim the freedom that had been torn away from her when she and Minnie were captured. She didn’t have the time or energy to worry about things like his silly crush right now. That would only get in the way of the long road to healing that she had begun.

There was only one right thing to do. He would tamp these feelings down. Squash them before they got in the way. Brody was right about one thing: the best thing he could be to Sophie right now was a friend. Everything else was irrelevant. Marlon got up from his place on the bannister, shaking the numbness out of his legs. He should find Louis, figure out if there was anything that needed doing. Maybe that would finally distract him from the dull, nagging ache in his chest.

#pining #14points #twdgmaygame #fanfic #twdg marlie #twdg marlon #twdg sophie #twdg brody #twdg mitch #twdg willy

[mrsjaxtellerfan]

Coming Home (Jax x OC) (Chapter15)

Hey guys! Sorry it has taken so long to post a new chapter. On the bright side I finished nursing school and graduated college! Hope y'all enjoy!

Warnings: mentions of a threesome 

Chapter 15

3 months later

“Okay, so I’m thinking small ceremony. I don’t want a huge wedding. I think it should just be us and the club.” I say, looking over my planner.

“What about Kelsey?” Jax asks, holding Abel and drinking his coffee.

“Fuck, I forgot about her. I’m a horrible friend.”  I sigh.

“Sophia hasn’t stopped talking about her since you guys went to visit her last week. You’re not a bad friend. You just have a lot on your mind.” Jax laughs.

“Kelsey wants to meet you.” I say, looking up at him from my spot at the breakfast nook.

“She’d hate me. All your friends do.”

“Kels is different. She already likes you. She saw the difference in Sophia.”

“Why does she like me? I’m just trying to know what to expect.”

“Expect a lot of flirting.” I laugh.

“She’s one of those.” Jax says.

“She is, and if you flirt back, you’re grounded.” I joke. “She doesn’t actually mean anything by it, she just likes to joke with people. Hell she will flirt with me, she always does.”

“That I have to see.” Jax says, smirking at me.

“Oh you will. Don’t mind if she grabs my ass a lot.”

“When is she coming around?”

“Whenever I tell her to.” I laugh. “Oh my god! I just thought of something!”

“Tonight is fine. What are you thinking about!”

“Her and Juice would be perfect together! We should introduce them!”

“I thought she was bi, but more into girls.”

“Nah, apparently this week she’s more into dudes. She switches up a lot.” I laugh.

“I’ll call Juice, you call Kelsey.”

“Break!” I laugh at my horrible sports lingo.

“You always were bad at sports. I remember when you came with a French fry in your hair that one day because you hid in the cafeteria.”

“Actually, I was thrown in the trash that day. It had nothing to do with sports.” I laugh.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Jax asks.

“I didn’t feel the need to. I was handling it.”

“I could’ve helped you.” He says, putting one hand over mine.

“Jax, I didn’t even know what had happened until Franklin, the janitor, pulled me out of the trash can and gave me one of his little suit things he wears.”

“I mean, if you were bullied I could have made them stop.”

“We don’t have to worry about it anymore, Jax. That’s how I met Kelsey.”

“She helped you?” Jax asks, confused.

“Believe it or not, I took care of it myself.”

“What did you do?” Jax laughs.

“I hit a kid, in the face, with a hardcover textbook, that I borrowed from Kelsey. I then joined her in detention.” I laugh.

“Badass.”

“You know it, baby.” I smack his ass, making my way to the coffee pot.

“Do you think Sophia is adjusting well to first grade? I know she and Tommy are still together, but she’s been having a hard time making friends.”

“Jax, she had a hard time making friends when she first started Kindergarten, give it a little time. It’s only her second day.” I sigh, hugging him before going back over to my wedding planner book.

“What colors are you thinking?”

“Well, traditional white dress, roses and sunflowers for the bouquet.”

“Why sunflowers?” Jax asks.

“Because they are my favorite flower, Jax.” I deadpan.

“What about Sophia? I feel like we need to honor her in some sort of way.”

“Jax, she’s the flower girl, her dress has purple in it.”

“I just hope she’s happy.” Jax says, smiling at me.

“Will you stop worrying?” I sigh, rolling my eyes.

“I’m a dad, I worry. I can’t help it.” Jax replies.

“I know. I remember over the summer when Tommy came to play. We now have an open door policy, that I didn’t know about until Sophia came into our bathroom when I was taking a shower to let me know I couldn’t have the door closed. Or when she opened the door to our room while we were having sex because you told her if a boy and a girl are in the same room the door has to be open.”

“That was a hard thing to explain.”

“What was it you told her we were doing, Jax?”

“Wrestling and it made it super fucking awkward when she asked to join.” Jax shudders.

“That is why we nipped that problem in the bud by having them play in the downstairs playroom.” I Iaugh.

“That’s why I got a camera put in there, so I could watch, but not linger. She yelled at me.”

“They are 6 Jax, calm your shit.” I laugh.

“She’s my baby. Remember what we did when you were 6?”

“Yeah, we poured water on everyone’s bike seats. If I remember right, you got in trouble because I would never do such a thing. And I told my dad you did it.”

“Yeah I did. Oh babe! I made plans for your birthday!” Jax exclaims, changing the subject.

“I don’t celebrate my birthday, Jax. You know that.”

“Well, you do this year. It’ll just be the two of us though.”

“Birthday sex?” I ask, smirking.

“Oh for sure. After your party at the clubhouse.” Jax laughs as my face falls.

“I hate parties, and surprises, and birthdays.” I complain.

“I know that’s why I’m telling you now, so it’s not a surprise.” Jax smirks.

“It’s still a party.” I sigh.

“But there’s sex after.”

“Better be some damn good sex.” I mumble.

“Oh, baby. I won’t disappoint. I bought some stuff for the occasion.” Jax winks.

“What did you get?” I question.

“That’s a secret.”

“Are you gonna make me cum until I cry again, Jax? I was in pain for days after that.”

“Nah, no pain. Promise.” Jax laughs. “Can’t promise you won’t cum multiple times though, darlin’.”

“As long as it’s not one right after the other I’ll be fine.” I laugh.

“Hmmm I don’t know, guess we will see Friday.” Jax remarks. “Go call Kelsey.”

“Yes, sir.” I salute, picking up the phone and dialing Kelsey’s number.

“Hey babe!” Kelsey yells from the other line.

“Hey! So I was thinking, you should come over and hangout with Jax and I. He’s home for the day and I know you aren’t working, lazy.”

“I’d love to!” Kelsey exclaims. “I got an invite to your party Friday!”

“Yeah, I found out about it today. I don’t approve.” I groan.

“Of course you don’t. You hate your birthday.” She laughs.

“You are planning on being there, right?” I ask.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Remember when I flew to New York for your birthday? Or all those times in Hershey? I haven’t missed one since we’ve been friends, and I’m not gonna miss one until I am dead.”

“Oh my god! You should just come stay with us this week! We have the spare bedroom set up! You can help Gemma, Lyla and I with wedding planning!”

“You forgot about me, didn’t you?” Kelsey asks, feigning hurt. “I thought we were best friends. I let you hit someone with my book!”

“I’m so sorry! I’ve just been so stressed with the expansion and moving and Sophia starting 1st grade and Abel’s birthday coming up. It’s insane around here.”

“I’m giving you shit, Ari. I know you have a lot going on. Sophia is getting so big. She’s married, in first grade, he got her a cute little ring, she is totally relationship goals. You and Jax are endgame though.”

“Oh god, don’t say that in front of Jax, he will have a conniption. He still doesn’t want her playing with Tommy!” I laugh.

“Did she walk in on you and Jax? She said something to me about you two wrestling and not letting her join, and that doors have to stay open when boys and girls are in the same room. I did that to my parents once, they hated me. I did it every night, so they started sleeping with the door open and would just have sex when I was at school.”

“You and Sophia are just the same. I swear, Jax and I never get to have sex. If it’s not Sophia busting in, Abel is crying. I’m seriously going insane with withdrawal.” I laugh.

“She learned from the best. Make Jax give you a quicky while Soph is at school and Abel is napping.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that.”

“Nope. I bet you didn’t. Trust me, it’ll work. Or ride his thigh, I bet he’d be into that. It’s like sex, but you get release, and he gets to watch!”

“Kelsey!” I yell, blush rising up my neck.

“What, I’m trying to help you enhance your sex life.”

“I don’t need to thigh ride my fiancé to enhance our sex life.” I laugh, not noticing Jax coming into the room.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. I bet you’d both enjoy it. And it can look innocent, in case Sophia walks in.”

“Ohhhh that would be fun to try!” Jax yells, in my ear. I jerk, nearly throwing my phone.

“Jaaaaaaax! What the actual fuck are you doing?”

“Scared ya.” Jax laughs, tickling my sides. “We should for sure try that. Tell her I said thanks for the tip.”

“Welcome!” Kelsey yells over the line. “Alright, well I’m gonna get off of here and pack a bag. I’ll see you later. Love you! Don’t have too much fun.”

“You can stay in the guest room.”

“I know, maybe Sophia will bother me tonight, and you guys can try to have a little fun, if ya know what I mean.”

“Love ya!” I laugh, hanging up on her. “You scared the hell outta me, Jax.”

“You guys always talk about sex?” Jax laughs, kissing my neck.

“Sometimes we talk about makeup trends, the Kardashians, naked pillow fights.”

“You know, Kelsey is coming to stay with us, we could try out that threesome while she’s here.” Jax laughs.

“Not with Sophia here. Imagine her walking in on that.”

“Baby, we are kid free Friday. I already worked it out.” Jax kisses my neck.

“That was supposed to be our time.” I sigh.

“Birthday sex!” Jax says, in a sing song voice.

“You can bring it up to Kels because I’m not. She’s filthy, god only knows what she’d say.” I laugh.

“Wasn’t she like, the goth kid in school?”

“Yeah, she isn’t anymore though.”

“Her purple hair was pretty cool though. And all those piercings, I’ll never get it.”

“It was! She still has some of them, got rid of most though. She has blond hair now.”

“Does she? Imagine how those are gonna feel, babe.” Jax says.

“I’m sure the tongue ring would feel quite interesting.” I laugh.

“She has a tongue ring?”

“Yeah, it’s feels really weird when she kisses you.”

“Imagine how it would feel on your clit.” Jax says, realization hitting him. “Wait! You guys have kissed?”

“Of course we have.” I laugh.

“And you didn’t tell me?”

“You didn’t ask.” I smirk, shrugging my shoulders.

“I am now.”

“It was during spin the bottle, it landed on a guy, but he didn’t want to kiss her, so I did. I didn’t want her to feel left out of the game.”

“You’re a Saint.”

“She’s a good kisser. She was my first kiss.”

“You told me I was your first.” Jax pouts.

“You were. My first MALE kiss.”

“You liar!”Jax exclaims, feigning anger.

“Jax, it was literally nothing. We were just friends. I didn’t want her to feel left out of the game because of Michael Ingleson not wanting to kiss her.”

“I know, I just wanted to see you sweat.” He laughs.

“You’re an asshole.” I say, pushing him away from me.

“I’m your asshole.” He laughs.

“Unfortunately.”

“Do you trust Kelsey?” Jax asks.

“With my life. She’s always been there when I needed her. She went to New York with me when I ran from here. She was with me until I got with Darren and we moved in together, then she came home because her grandpa got sick.”

“Is that why Sophia loves her? Because she was always there?”

“Yep. She was with us until Sophia was 3 when we moved in with Darren.”

“I’m glad Sophia had good people in her life.”

“Kelsey’s good people.”

“Then I trust you. The same way you trusted me about Chucky.”

“She’s a gross bitch, she will for sure hit on you and make inappropriate comments, not in front of the kids of course, but she will bring up our sex life any chance she gets. She thinks it’s funny when I blush.”

“I think it’s cute when you blush.” Jax says, kissing my cheek.

“Ugh! The both of you suck.”

“You don’t!” Jax laughs.

“Hey! I do too! Just not often.” I laugh.

“I can’t even get it on my birthday.”

“Don’t you lie. You would have gotten it on your birthday if you hadn’t told Sophia about the open door policy, and then got too drunk to get hard after your party.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Now, drop ya pants.”

“Right now?”

“I don’t see any kids around, do you?”

“Oh fuck yes!” Jax yells, yanking his pants down, struggling with his belt, before getting them around his ankles.

“Damn, can you move any quicker?” I joke, taking him in my hand loosely, taking him into my mouth.

“Fuck.” Jax moans.

“Hey! Y’all home? Clay sent me over. Said you had the day off, but he needed the keys you took home yesterday!” Chibs yells, stomping through the house, stopping in the kitchen when he spots us. “Oh. Sorry to interrupt, Jackie Boy, I can wait in the other room.” Chibs laughs.

“Fuck!” Jax yells, pulling away and pulling his pants up. “No, that’s okay, you already ruined the moment.”

“Sorry. How ya doing lass?” Chibs asks, as I get up off my knees.

“Good! Jax told me he caught you coloring with Sophia the other day. In her princess coloring book.”

“She alway’ begs me to help ‘er color.” He laughs. “I don’ mind doing it.”

“She beg you to braid her hair too? Or do you just do it?

“No, I just miss doing it with my daughter.”

“She likes when you color with her. You don’t get upset when she goes outside the lines. None of you guys do. Darren used to get so mad when she colored outside the lines. One time, he broke her crayons because she just went a little bit over the line.”

“Well he was an arsehole.” Chibs says.

“Here’s the keys, now get out.” Jax tosses the keys at him.

“Nah, Jax. Let him stick around a bit, Sophia would love to see her uncle Chibs when she gets home.”

“Fine.” Jax sighs.

“Great! Got any food, lass?” Chibs asks, taking off his kutte, draping it over a chair at the table.

“In the fridge.”

“Tell me more about this Darren bloke. He sounds lika real piece a work. Can I eat this pie?”

“Yeah, and there isn’t much to tell. He was an abusive asshole who treated Soph and I like shit.”

“Ya aren’t shite lass, neither of ya. His Ma and Da mus’ nota taugh’ ‘im how to treat a lass.”

“I met his mom several times. She was disapproving, because I already had a kid. He tried so hard to get Sophia to call him daddy, but she just wouldn’t. Eat slower, you’re gonna choke.”

“Good riddance.” Chibs replies, continuing to shovel pie into his mouth.

“Slow down, I don’t feel like having to save your life.”

“I’m no’ gon’ choke, I’m Scottish, we don’t die eating, we die drinking.”

“Well, okay then.”

“Did his mom not like Sophia?”

“No she did, she just hated that she wasn’t grandma Lacey. She was just Miss Lacey. She never liked me, though. I had a baby that wasn’t her sons, I weighed too much, I didn’t eat enough, I ate too much, I spent more time at work than with Darren, Sophia’s dad wasn’t around, I got pregnant at 18, I didn’t do the dishes right, I don’t cook the right foods for her son, I refused to stay home with kids because I was starting a business, you name it and she hated me for it.”

“We don’t hate you. We love you, and Sophia. But sometimes our love for Jax is questionable.”

“That hurts my heart, Chibs.” Jax says, holding his chest.

“Chibs, when you finish your pie, would you like to come with me to pick up Sophia?”

“Fuck yes!” He says, putting down the half eaten pie, standing up, and wiping his hands on his pants.

“Great! Jax, you keeping Abel or want me to take him?”

“I’ll keep him. We’ll have some man time, right buddy?” Jax asks, tickling Abel’s tummy causing his to laugh. “When will Kelsey be here?”

“Before dinner. I’m not going to tell Sophia, we will let Kelsey surprise her.”

“Oh she will be surprised alright.” Jax says.

“Alright, love you! See ya in a bit.” I smile, kissing him and Abel on the forehead.

“Love you too!” Jax says, holding Abel up and using his hand to wave to us.

“See ya, Jackie Boy!” Chibs laughs, poking Abel’s tummy.

“Bye Uncle Chibs.” Jax says, holding Abel in front of him and talking in a deep baby voice.

“Mommy! Uncle Chibs!” Sophia yells, running over to us with Tommy following behind her.

“Lassie!” Chibs says, picking her up and spinning her around.

“Mommy, Tommy and I want a baby.”

“Take that up with your daddy. Tommy, do you need a ride home?” I ask him, he nods his head yes. “Come on, we will give you a ride.”

“Daddy!!!” Sophia says, walking in the door.

“My baby girl! How was school?” Jax asks, picking up Sophia.

“Good. Can Tommy and I have a baby?” Sophia asks Jax.

“Um… I-I… I don’t know sweetheart.”

“Can I have some of that pie?” Sophia asks, looking at Chibs, shoveling the last half of the pie into his mouth.

“Of course.” Chibs says. Jax puts her down and she runs over to where he’s sitting and climbs into his lap, grabbing the fork that was too big for her, and taking a too big bite.

“This is really good pie.” Sophia says, taking another bite.

“Chibs, will you watch her while Ari and I talk in the other room?”

“Aye.” He says, proudly looking down at her.

“They want a baby?” Jax asks, freaking out.

“Jax, they’re kids. We will just get her another doll and they could name it something Alvarez, boom, parents.”

“I’m still not sold on this Tommy boy.” Jax says, grabbing my hand, and bringing it up to kiss it.

“Jax, Tommy isn’t going to hurt her. He told her he loved her when we dropped him off, and they hugged. They hugged Jax, that is something that Sophia rarely did except to you, me, Kelsey, Clay, Gemma, and her uncles. She used to hate hugs, she wasn’t used to being hugged by people her age. Jax, you have been a part of that.”

“She never hugged?”

“Not if it wasn’t me or Kelsey. You, and your mom, and Clay, and SAMCRO have helped her come out of her shell. The pieces are coming together, Jax, just like you said.”

“I’m still not convinced that all of your pieces, or hers, are back together.” Jax said, looking into my eyes, putting his hand on the back of my neck and pulling me into him. “I’m gonna make sure she grows up knowing how she should be treated.”

“Jax-”

“No. She deserves to know that she’s a princess. And the be treated as less than that, is absolutely unacceptable. I will not let her get hurt, not the way you got hurt. And I will NEVER let you get hurt like that again.” Jax says.

“Jax none of these guys will ever let us get hurt. If anyone hurts Sophia, Happy would probably kill them. It’s clear he cares about her, all of these guys do.”

“I just want you both to feel safe, protected, loved.” Jax says, wrapping his other arm around me to hold me closer. “I’m trying my best here, to help you both, but Darren hasn’t made it easy.”

“You are helping us, Jax. Love is something that Sophia has only ever gotten from me, and now she has a wild, crazy family, full of people who would hurt anyone who looks at her wrong.”

“You better believe it.” Jax replies, kissing my head.

“I do.” I smile, pulling his face down to meet mine.

“Mommy.” Sophia says, coming into the room.

“Yeah, baby?” I ask, pulling away from Jax.

“We ran out of pie.” Sophia says, giggling and running back to the kitchen. “Uncle Chibs, will you help me with my homework?”

“Of course I will, Lassy.” Chibs replies, pulling her up into his lap.

“Thank you!” She says, getting it out of her backpack and setting it on the table.

“Ah, shapes.”

“Yeah, I have to name them. Please help.”

“Okay, we got this.” Chibs responds, going into an explanation about what they all are.

“I know this one! It’s a stop sign!”

“It’s called an octagon, lassy.”

“But it’s shaped like a stop sign! And this one,” She says pointing to the triangle, “is a boat sail.”

“These shapes are what they base those items on. The octagon has 8 sides just like an octopus has 8 legs. A triangle is the shape the boat sail is based on. Triangles have 3 sides.

“Really? So this 4 sided one isn’t a car?” Sophia asks.

“Nope, it’s a square.”

“But this other one has 4 sides too, but some are longer.” She sighs. “I don’t get this shit, Uncle Chibs.”

“Hey! Watch your mouth!” Chibs exclaims.

“I can’t see my mouth Uncle Chibs!”

“Touche.”

“Alright, Chibs, wanna stay for dinner or you got other plans?” I ask, coming into the kitchen.

“I’ll stay, help the girl with her shapes.”

“Appreciate it. Jax and I were going to go to the store. You good staying with her?” I ask.

“Yeah, looks like there’s some coloring in the other side, I can help her with that.”

“Any dessert requests, I was going to make chicken tetrazzini?”

“PIE!” Sophia squeales, cutting off Chibs.

“Pie, the lass took the words right outta my mouth.”

“Alright, we will be back soon. Any alcohol requests Chibs?”

“Whiskey, please lass.”

“Mommy, can I have alcohol too? I want whiskey too.” Sophia says, clapping her hands.

“No, you can’t have any. You are too young.” I laugh, kissing her head and kissing Chibs cheek.

“Jax, you ready?” I yell, going over to the fridge and adding whiskey and pie to our list.

“Yeah! Coming!” Jax replies, bounding down the stairs, Abel in his arms. “Someone decided to poop his pants.” Jax replies, tickling Abel’s tummy as he laughs.

“Did you poop on daddy?” I ask, laughing, pinching his little cheeks. He coos, reaching out for me.

“Okay, we will be back. Thanks for watching her Chibs.” Jax says, grabbing his Kutte from the coat rack.

“No problem, Jackie Boy.”

“Okay, we need to get chicken.” I say, looking over the list. Jax and I make our way to the meat department.

“How many pounds, baby?” Jax asks, looking over the chicken, Abel still in his arms.

“Umm, well, we are cooking for 5, get 3 pounds.” I reply, leaning over his shoulder.

“Jax?” A voice from behind us asks. We turn around, Jax’s jaw tightening, he clutches Abel a bit tighter.

“Wendy.” Jax growls.

“Wendy?” I ask, confused, before it clicks. I stare between the two, my mouth gaping, not really knowing what to say.

“Hi, you must be Ariana.” Wendy says, holding her hand out to me. I look to Jax, trying to figure out what to do, he continues to glare at her so she drops her hand. “He’s getting so big.”

“Yeah, he is, he’s healthy now, thanks to you.” Jax growls. Abel sensing the tension reaches out for me.

“Ma-ma.” Abel says, reaching out for me.

“Oh my god!” I exclaim, taking him from Jax as he continues to chant Mama, he buries his head in my neck when I take him. “He said his first word!”

“I can’t believe he said it!” Jax eclaims, completely forgetting about Wendy still standing there.  “I love you!”

“I love you too!” I laugh, hugging Abel a bit tighter. Wendy clears her throat.

“I’ll let you two be. Congratulations on his first words and the engagement. I wish you both the best.” Wendy says, turning to leave, tears in her eyes.

“I can’t believe that just happened!” Jax eclaims, pulling me in for  a kiss.

“I feel kind of bad that it happened in front of Wendy. She looked so upset.” I reply, pulling away from the kiss.

“Who cares, she doesn’t deserve to even see him.” Jax responds, his jaw tightening.

“She’s his mother Jax. No matter what happened.” I reply.

“You’re his mother, you are all he knows. He is better off without her. I’m glad he said that in front her, she needs to know someone else is taking better care of him than she ever could.” Jax says, grabbing my hand, leaning down to kiss me one more time. “Let’s get this shopping done and get home to Phia. We need chicken, right?”

“Yeah, 3 pounds.” I reply, looking in the direction Wendy disappeared to.

“We’re home!” I yell, carrying Abel in and sitting his carseat down, Jax trailing behind me with the groceries. “MOMMY!!!” Sophia yells, skidding into the kitchen. “You didn’t tell me Aunt Kelsey was coming to stay with us!”

“Surprise!” I yell, laughing. Kelsey comes trailing into the room talking to Chibs, once she spots me she runs over throwing herself at me.

“I’ve missed you!” She exclaims. I hug her back just as tight.

“I’ve missed you too! I’m so happy you are here!” I squeal, pulling apart she turns her attention to Jax.

“It’s nice to meet ya.” Jax says, holding out his hand, she smacks his hand away, laughing at the look on his face as she pulls him in for a hug.

“I’m a hugger, and it’s nice to finally meet you as well.” She pulls out of the hug. “The Scott wouldn’t let me in.”

“Sorry, Lass, can’t let strangers into the house.” Chibs laughs.

“Do I LOOK like a stranger now, Mr. Scotsman?”

“Well, after Sophia yelled your name and I recognized it, you didn’t.” Chibs laughs. Kelsey shakes her head, smile on her face as she notices Abel, looking up at her from his carseat.

“Oh my gosh! He’s so cute! You’re so cute. Yes you are.” Kelsey coos. Abel giggles, smiling up at her with a toothless smile.

“He said his first word today!” Jax exclaims

“I’m always a stranger with this one. I’m surprised she let me stay.” Kelsey says, turning toward me and cocking her head to one side. “I’m so proud of him!!! What was it?  Because Sophia’s first word was cookie, and I take credit for that. ”

“It was Mama!” Jax exclaims as Abel starts saying mama again.

“That’s so cute!” Kelsey gushes, tickling his little feet. “Can I hold him?”

“Of course.” Jax and I respond at the same time. Kelsey takes him out as he coos.

“It’s official, I want a baby now. I remember when Sophia was this little. Gah, I loved her so much, I still do!”

“I want a baby too!” Sophia yells running over to Kelsey.

“Well, have you and Tommy talked about having kids?”

“KELSEY! DON’T ENCOURAGE HER!” I yell, smacking her arm.

“All I’m saying is that maybe if Tommy isn’t a good dad, she should find out now and not later.”

“They are 6! I swear you and Jax act like they are adults already!”

“You didn’t play mom and dad when you were 6?” Kelsey asks.

“No! I played guns.” I reply.

“I did too. With my brother. He hated me. Probably because he could never find me, hiding in the bush and taking him out.” Kelsey said, with tears coming to her eyes.

“Hey, no sad talk, missy.” I respond, shaking my finger at her.

“I just miss him. He was my best friend, Ari.”

“Soph, why don’t you go play.” I say, pointing to the living room.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything in front of her. I wasn’t thinking.” Kelsey said, handing Abel back and wiping her tears.

“It’s fine, babe. The anniversary is coming up. I understand.” I reply, handing Abel off to Jax and pulling her into a hug.

“Tuesday. It should’ve been me, Ari. He wanted me, and Bobby just put himself in front of me.”

“Hey, shut that shit up right now! You know that isn’t true. Bobby made that choice because he loved you. Don’t ever say that it should have been you. He made his decision.”

“Tell that to my dad. He thinks I did it, I made him get in front of me. I wanted him to live, I tried to save him.” She cries.

“I know, babe, your dad is a fucking cunt. Now, cheer up and we will talk about this later! I know a little miss who is super excited you are here.” I reply, wiping her tears.

“Can I go wipe my face, I don’t think Sophia needs to be asking questions?”

“Bathroom is down the hall and to the left.” I reply.

“Thank you, Ari. You’re my best friend.” Kelsey says, giving me a hug and walking down the hall.

“Mommy, what happened to Aunt Kelsey’s brother?”  

“Nothing that you need to worry about doll, so go play!” I shoo her off.

“Is he on vacation?”

“Sophia. I said go play.”

“I want to know why aunt Kelsey was crying.”

“Sophia! GO PLAY OR YOU WILL GO TO YOUR ROOM!”

“Stop being mean!” Sophia yells, running to her room.

“Don’t yell at your mother!” Jax yells after her.

“What did I miss?” Kelsey says, coming back into the room.

“Sophia not listening.” I sigh, moving to unload to groceries.

“Can I go talk to her?”

“Not right now. She’s in trouble.” I reply.

“Ari, please? Remember when she was little and wouldn’t talk to you, so you made me do it?”

“No! Geeze can anyone around here listen to anything I say!” I yell.

“I can leave if that would make your life easier.” Kelsey yells back.

“Oh god not the guilt trip BS. I’ll be in our room, Jax.” I reply, pushing my way past them and going upstairs.

“Fine, bye.” Kelsey says, picking up her keys and walking out the door.

“Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” I snap, continuing up the stairs.

“Shit. What do I do?” Jax asks Chibs looking between the two directions the two women went.

“I’ll go talk to Kelsey.” Chibs says, walking out the door.

“Ari, can I come in?” Jax asks, knocking on the door.

“I don’t know, can you Jax? You live here too, don't you? I snap at him.

“Hey, don’t get an attitude with me missy.” Jax responds, holding his hands up and joining me on the bed.

“I’m sorry, Jax. I forgot about it being this close to her brothers death. Did she leave yet?”

“Chibs went to talk to her.”

“I need to apologize. I just get so mad, everyone always undermines everything I say or argues with me. I’m so sick of it.”

“Baby, she helped raise Sophia years ago, she was probably just trying to help.”

“I don’t care if she is trying to help. I said no and she should have left it at that. I’m Sophia’s mother, what I say goes.”

“I agree, but you did snap at Sophia without much warning.”

“Sophia needs to stop back talking.”

“You didn’t have to snap at Kelsey either.”

“If you are going to take her side then get out. I need some time alone.”

“I’m not taking anyone’s side here babe. But it sounds like she’s leaving, if you want to apologize, you might be missing your chance.

“Let her leave.” I snap.

“She’s your best friend, you really want it to end like this? Jax asks.

“No, what I really want is her to not undermine me but she always does it. This little spat isn’t going to end our friendship.”

“Do you know that? Are you sure?”

“Yes, no doubt in my mind.”

“I’m gonna go talk to Chibs, see what he found out.”

“Go.” I wave him off, tucking myself into the cover, content to just stay here the rest of the night.

“Hey.” Chibs says when Jax gets downstairs.

“Did she leave?”

“Yes. She said have Ariana call her when she isn’t being an insufferable cunt. Her words not mine.” Chibs laughs. “What did Ariana say?”

“That I might be the one making dinner, and in that case, we are having cereal.”

“We can wash it down with whiskey. Should we go get Sophia?”

“No, leave it to Ariana. She feels like everyone always undermines her authority when it comes to raising Sophia. If we let her out of the room, Ari is gonna be pissed at me, and I want to get laid.” Jax laughs.

“What kind o’ cereal do ya got, Jackie Boy?”

“Cookie crunch, Cheerios, Corn Flakes, Cap’n Crunch, Cocoa Puffs, and I’m not sure what else.”

“I’ll take the Cocoa Puffs.” Chibs says.

“I ain’t your maid. I’ll get the milk, you get the cereal.” Jax laughs.

“I’m just saying, there may not be any left. I’ve only had pie today.”

“Eh, Sophia is the only one that eats it.”

“I’ll buy more.” Chibs says.

“Don’t worry about it man, Sophia is getting tired of it. You can finish it.” Jax replies, sitting the milk on the table.

“Thanks, Jackie.” Chibs says, opening the box and pouring milk into the bag.

“Wanna watch TV?” Jax asks, pouring his bowl of Cookie Crunch.

“Got the good shows? Crime shows?” Chibs asks.

“Probably.” Jax responds, grabbing glasses for the whiskey.

“Good. Once ya get hooked, it’s hard to stop.”

“Ari watches serial killer shows. She loves the ID channel.”

“Me too! Ya got it? On your box thing with the shows?”

“If we didn’t she’d kill me.” Jax laughs.

“I’d help.” Chibs laughs.

“Wanna watch the Killer Kids one?” Jax asks, sitting on the couch, grabbing the remote.

“There’s a new one out about Ted Bundy.”

“Ted Bundy it is.” Jax responds, looking through the channels.

“I told you, a good one.” Chibs says once it ends.

“But he killed all those people.”

“Yeah, but his story is cool.” Chibs responds, drinking the rest of his glass.

“Didn’t he have kids?” Jax asks. “I couldn’t imagine having kids and killing people for a living.”

“Me ‘either, Jackie.”

“I’m gonna go check on Ari, will you check on Sophia? Just make sure she’s still okay in there.”

“Aye.”

“Thanks, brother.” Jax says, carrying Abel up to his room.

“Hey babe,” Jax says, walking into our room. “I fed Chibs, but Sophia was still in her room. How do you want to handle that?”

“I don’t care. You can handle it.” I respond, waving him off.

“Baby, don’t be like this. I thought about what you said, and you were right, I do undermine you, and I’m sorry. What do you want to do about Sophia?”

“She needs to be grounded. She needs to stop back talking and throwing a fit.”

“You need to eat, darlin’.” Jax says, sitting down next to me.

“Not hungry.”

“You can fool other people, but not me. Now get your cute ass downstairs and eat something.”

“Fine, wanna smoke a joint with me? I need to relax.” I reply.

“Should Sophia eat too?” Jax asks

“Yes. You get her food and then come get me. If I see her, she is going to act like an ass, and I don’t want to yell at her again.”

“I’ll have Chibs do it, we can go out on the balcony and light it up.” Jax responds, standing up and making his way to the door.

“Great, I get to roll, you can’t roll for shit.”

“Okay, you roll some and I’ll go talk to Chibs. Save some for him.” Jax replies.

“I don’t know, maybe.” I reply in a teasing tone.

“We just won’t tell him we are going to smoke. I need to go talk to Sophia and let her know she’s grounded.”

“Good plan. Jax, she’s never been grounded. Explain what that means. Tell her that she can’t see you at work for a week, no TV, no hanging out with Tommy, and in bed by 7 for the week.”

“I’ll let her know.” Jax replies, shutting the door.

“Jax, I rolled 3.” I say as he walks back in. “How’d it go with Sophia?”

“She threw another fit. I told her I’d add on another week and if she didn’t stop with the fits. She then proceeded to throw another one, so now she’s grounded for 2 weeks. I went ahead and fed her because she wouldn’t stop screaming, and I didn’t want to put Chibs through that. I sent him on home, and Sophia is in bed. I don’t know what her deal has been lately.” Jax responds, taking off his shirt and unbuttoning his pants.

“Why are you stripping?” I ask, laughing.

“Because I want to.”

“Maybe I want to as well?”

“Do it.” Jax laughs. “The kids are in bed so we can walk around the house naked if we wanted to.”

“Maybe I will walk around the house naked.” I laugh, getting up off the bed and taking Jax’s shirt off, leaving me in just my panties.

“Let’s light that.” Jax says, pointing to the joints I left on the desk.

“Outside. We don’t want the house to smell like weed.” I laugh, making my way to the balcony.

“You are going out topless?” Jax asks. “You’re going to be cold, what if someone sees you?”

“Well, I guess you better come on and keep me warm.” I laugh, lighting the joint and taking a long drag. Jax plops down on the patio chair and pulls me into his lap.

“What do you think Sophia’s issue is lately?” Jax asks, taking the joint from me and taking a long hit.

“I think it’s that she is finally comfortable enough to know that if she acts up she isn’t going to be beaten or locked in the bathroom.”

“Well, it’s good that she is feeling more comfortable, but she needs to stop with the fits.” Jax laughs.

“I know, she’s been doing this to me every day. When I took her with me to the store the other day, she literally threw a fit and starting hitting me and throwing herself down because I wouldn’t let her get a toy. I had Phil take her out to the car because she wouldn’t calm down. I can’t deal with her attitude anymore. She does it more when you aren’t around. That’s why I snapped at her.” I say, taking the joint from him.

“We need to have a talk with her about her fits. She shouldn’t be treating you like that.”

“I know Jax. This is just the most stability she’s had in a while.”

“Nothing is going to change about that but she needs to stop treating you like shit.” Jax says, taking a drag before putting out the completely smoked joint, reaching out to get another and lighting it.

“She’s never gonna believe that. The reason we moved around so much was because when people started to see the bruises Darren would leave we would have to move. I know she shouldn’t act like this, Jax, but I’m scared she’s gonna think we have to leave again.”

“We just need to keep telling her that she isn’t going anywhere.”

“She’s 6, Jax. She freaked out starting full day school because she thought we were going to leave her and not come back.”

“And by instilling that she isn’t going anywhere we will help her.”

“You’re right. I just hope I didn’t fuck her up. I think we need to start punishing her more too. She needs to learn she can’t act like an asshole and expect to not get in trouble.”

“There’s only so much we can do babe, she’s 6. And I’m not about to try taking Hank away from her again. I grabbed him because he was about to fall, she looked like she was about to punch me.”

“I’m not saying we need to take Hank. I’m saying that we need to punish her consistently so that she doesn’t think we are going to keep giving in.” I say, puffing on the joint.

“I agree. I also think you should call Kelsey, see if she’s okay. She seemed pretty upset.”

“We’ve already been texting Jax. She’s fine. She went to Chibs. I think something is going to happen there!” I laugh.

“He let a girl in his place without him? That’s never happened before.” Jax exclaim, his eyes wide.

“Yep. Apparently when they went outside he was really sweet and told her should couldn’t drive that far with it being dark and her being upset, so he gave her his key and the address.”

“He’s right though.”

“He needs somebody Jax, you can tell he’s down. I see the way he looks at us when we are all together as a family, he’s sad. I think that has something to do with why he always wants to stay as late as possible.”

“You think he wants a family?” Jax asks

“Yes, I do. He loves kids and he doesn’t get to see his daughter.”

“He told you about his daughter?” Jax asks incredulously.

“Yes, and about Jimmy O.”

“He hasn’t even fully told me the story. Do you hang out without telling me?”

“It’s because Sophia asked about his scars and when she fell asleep he told me the full story. And yeah, we hangout a lot. He goes to the store with me, we get coffee, and when Gemma has Abel and Sophia we get actual drinks.”

“I thought Phil went to the store with you?” Jax asks.

“He does when I have Sophia, but I normally go with Chibs during the day when I just have Abel. We have fun together.”

“He’s spending more time with my old lady than I am.”

“Maybe Kelsey can keep him company, and you can keep me company more during the day.” I wink at him.

“I think can find some good ways to keep you company while Abel is napping.” Jax smirks, biting my neck.

“Is that so? If I’d known that I could just call you and get laid I would have been doing it more often. You’ve been slackin’.” I laugh, lighting up the last joint.

“Oh baby, if you ever want laid call me or just show up and make me go to the dorm with you. I like it when you’re demanding.” Jax purrs.

“Well, can I call you now?” I ask innocence on my face.

“No, you gotta get some food in you first. Can’t have you wasting away.” Jax laughs at the crestfallen look on my face.

“Trust me missing a few meals will be good for me.” I murmur, making a move to get up.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jax asks, kissing my neck and wrapping his arms tighter around me stopping me from getting up.

“It means that I’m fat and I can stand to lose a couple pounds.” I laugh.

“Baby, you aren’t fat. You are gorgeous and I fucking love your curves. Literally feel me, I’m hard as fuck.” Jax laughs, thrusting his hips up a bit.

“I can.” I reply, grinding down on him with a smile.

“You want the D you gotta eat.”

“Well, then get your ass up and come eat an omelet with me.”

“You’re making omelets.” Jax asks, standing up with me in his arms.

“Did you want something else?”

“No, I fucking love your omelets!” Jax exclaims, rushing back into our bedroom and towards the door.

“So does you stomach. I swear you could eat 7.”

“You betchya.” Jax laughs.

“I need a shirt, Jax.”

“No you don’t, remember we can walk around naked because the kids are sleeping. Plus, nudity is alright. Gotta teach the kids to be okay with their bodies.”

“What if they wake up, you can’t keep your ass quiet.”

“They aren’t going to get up and if they do oh well. We are wearing underwear.”

“True. Take me to the kitchen peasant.” I laugh. He sits me down before turning away from me and squatting down.

“Hop on.” Jax says, glancing over his shoulder at me.

“Yes! I love piggyback rides!” I laugh, wrapping my legs tightly around him.

“You and Sophia both.”

“Fuck yeah! Go!” I laugh.

“What is it Sophia says?”

“Onward, Noble Steed!”

“You taught her that shit, I remember you saying that to  me and Opie all the time when we gave you piggyback rides.” Jax laughs.

“You loved it then, and you love it now.”

“Fuck yeah I do!” He replies, running to the stairs.

Taglist:  @jadert15 @gemini0410 @dawntaeworkman @stylesismyhubs @spnhollis @melissataggart87 @jaxteller87 @hismissharley13 @rahdaleigh @chrmdnbeautiful @innerpaperexpertcloud @emmaveale123

#Jax Teller #jax x oc #opie winston #happy soa #soa #soa chibs #soa gemma #wendy soa #bobby soa #tig trager #juice ortiz #Clay Morrow #gemma teller #sons of anarchy #lyla winston #OC #x OC

[loveinthebones]

can’t you see i’m falling apart, love (want to fall together?)

Word Count: ~7,247 (I actually don’t know since I’m getting a different number on my document. Weird.)

Chapter Summary: He was not expecting the florist with the tricolored eyes but he can't say that he's not taken with him.

Read it on AO3

Check out the art and the artist for this!

Also our lovely beta.

Part Two: Anger (Dan)

“Oh my god.” The high-pitched cadence of disgust made him stir, curling into a curved ‘C’ against the warmth radiating from his right side. “Dan. Your breath reeks.” There were feather-light touches fluttering across the top of his head and he turned his head to trap the hand under his cheek.

“Wha’ time ‘s it?” Dan’s words slurred as his still foggy brain fought against the weight of grogginess threatening to drag him under, but he forced his body to uncurl. “Ruthie?”

“It’s only six-thirty in the morning,” Ruth answered with a suppressed giggle, burying her face into the juncture between his shoulder and neck. “You still have time to sleep, babe.” The mint of her toothpaste and the light, airy perfume she wore wafted around him and Dan grabbed her gently to nuzzle her cheek aggressively as she squealed.

“Dan! I have an audition!” She admonished, but she made no move to pull away from his embrace. “We all can’t sleep until noon, Mr. YouTuber.” Dan merely snuffled exaggeratedly into her ear and grinned as she screeched, wiggling finally.

“Hey, hey,” Dan teased, voice deep and gravelly. “We can’t all be adorable turnips. I can’t rely on my good looks.”

“Of course not,” Ruth parried easily, and he could practically see the circular motion of her eyes, still hidden in her preferred spot. “You got there on talent and not these--” She pulled away to poke at where his cheek caved in, making him smile wider, and deepening his dimple as if to prove her point. “Absolutely adorable-- just- fuck your dimples.”

Dan shook his head before giving Ruth a small peck on her lips, brushing away choppy bright ginger locks from her cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, but you’re going to make me late!” Ruth grumbled good naturedly, leaning forward to brush her lips against his in a series of playful, quick pecks. “You can go back to bed but don’t forget Peej needed you for something today.”

Dan hummed in agreement, eyes already heavy and sliding shut but he made sure to murmur:

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Ruth echoed as he felt the bed shift and heard the muted thumps of footsteps across the carpet. “Don’t get into too much trouble.”

-

The next time Dan was pulled from dreamland was infinitely less pleasant.

He squished his face into his black-and-grey checkered pillow forcefully, determinedly ignoring the shrill, incessant loud notes of his mobile’s ringtone. He willed his brain to cling to the fuzzy haziness of sleep as their bedroom went blissfully silent, shifting to cradle his pillow between his arms since he was on his stomach.

That’s better.

He had stayed up until four a.m. attempting to film a video. He had drug the tripod to the office (nearly breaking the domed hallway light in the process) and sat to fiddle with the camera listlessly, fumbling over the miniature screen that showed himself. He had done numerous takes but the script hadn’t been flowing as well as he hoped- and he kept his volume as quiet as possible since Ruth had gone to bed early to be rested for her audition.

Dan should remember to get the foam tiles for the wall…

He jolted as his phone rang again before grabbing it to wedge it between his ear and the fluff of his pillow reluctantly.

“Hello?” Dan hissed, words muffled and distorted but still tinged with his annoyance.

“Hey!” PJ’s greeting was playful and warm with affection, but Dan squinted as there was also a hint of mischief hidden in the single phrase. “Get up!”

“I hate you,” Dan said simply before flopping onto his back, blinking to rid his eyelids of the gritty feeling that was making his nerves frazzle before he had even set foot out of bed. “Why am I getting up?” Even as he whined slightly, he swung his legs so he could stand, rolling his neck carefully so he didn’t accidentally disconnect the call.

“Dan, you’re the one who pleaded with me to help you,” PJ reminded him, and Dan could hear the vocal eyeroll as his friend continued, “As a matter of fact, your exact words were--”

“I am shit at romance,” Dan deadpanned, raising his eyes to the ceiling and letting his eyes take in the blank expanse of white for a bit before his shoulders slumped. “I really am, Peej and I want…”

“So you are going to propose, then?” PJ pried lightly and Dan heard the scratch of the phone being shuffled before a whoosh of breath crashed through the receiver.

“I…” Dan sighed, letting his eyes drift away from the ceiling finally, as he sat on the edge of his mattress. He didn’t know how to even begin to explain what was going through his mind as it was a jumble of different tendrils of thoughts twisting and tangling with each other- some realistic and cautious and others hopeful and bright and still others that were better left in the recesses of his consciousness. “I mean- we have only been together a year but we just- click, Peej. We are able to exist together and move around each other without it feeling like it is hindering our own activities. Ruth is so lovely…” Dan trailed off, his lips turned up in the corners before they fell. “And I’m not getting any younger.”

“You’re only twenty-two, Dan,” PJ assured him, and Dan felt a pang of gratitude for the man on the other end of the phone call. “I’d hardly call that old.”

“I’m almost a quarter way to death,” Dan joked, running a hand through the fringe that had been pushed off his forehead and wincing as his fingers snagged in the slight curls.

“That reminds me!” PJ gasped and Dan raised an eyebrow.

What could his morbid joke have jogged in his friend’s brain that had him sounding like a mix between an excited puppy and an older sibling scolding their younger counterpart?

“I heard there was a convention? In the States?” PJ was guessing- Dan could tell by the slight drag of the vowels on the last words of each statement- but it didn’t deter him from hitting Dan with two more questions that left him a bit off-kilter. “Why didn’t you go? Isn’t it a big deal?”

“Er…”

So eloquent.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go but he also hadn’t been inclined to go either. It was always a rush to meet his subscribers and place faces with the more positive comments on his videos but sometimes…

Sometimes, he rubbed them the wrong way in person. Playfully biting and jabbing teases flowed from his lips easily and while most would merely laugh or (if they were quick on their feet) fire a light jab back... some would curl into themselves and not say a thing, which would leave him fumbling awkwardly with their phone or stuttering out apologies.  

Some would stare at him blankly.

That was worse.

Not to mention…

“Where’s Ruth?”

“Is she okay?”

“Are you guys still together?”

“You’re thinking of VidCon,” Dan corrected absentmindedly before filling his lungs with a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “I didn’t go because...well…”

Ruth was resting on her side, chest rising and falling rapidly as she watched him with half-lidded eyes. Sweat was shining on her skin and Dan’s fingers slid through the moisture at the small of her back.

“You should really tie the condom. It’ll leak and we really don’t want to find a laundromat.”

Dan grunted in acknowledgement, tracing spirals contentedly as he watched the way Ruth’s eyelashes fluttered in the soft lamplight and the way she nudged his hip lazily.

“Or sleep in cum.”

Dan was still watching her face- the way her azure eyes roamed his face, lips quirked up in the little permanent half-smile she wore even when it was just them, and the freckles spread across her nose- so he jumped as he felt her hands on him again, taking off the latex shield as gently as she could manage.

A zap went through his chest as he watched her tie the knot and get up on shaky legs to throw away the barrier.

He loves her. Holy fuck.

“Make a video with me.” His brain had disconnected from his mouth and the words were out before he could call them back, but Ruth peered over her shoulder, hair wild and untamed, and eyes so, so soft. He could barely breathe as they flashed with a brightness that he had come to recognize, and even as the flippant tone met his ears, he was still gasping for what little oxygen he could get.

“A sex tape? Not a chance. But-” Ruth was blinding as she faced him, open. “I’ll make a vlog with you, sure.”

“I wanted to wait until I could bring Ruth,” Dan confessed, scrunching his toes in the carpet and letting the heat rise to his cheeks without a fuss. “We’ve been making videos and the fans are curious. Ruth doesn’t mind sharing but…”

“I get it,” PJ affirmed genuinely but with a note of inattentiveness. Dan thought that Peej was picturing Sophie, and it was cemented as PJ lowered the volume of his voice so that Dan could barely hear. “Soph hasn’t been on one of my sets yet but we’ve been talking. It’s a big step. Sharing your relationship with the world.”

“Yeah.”

Both of them drifted into silence, and Dan was picturing Ruth with her legs crossed, sitting on a sinking couch cushion on a stage, or Ruth opening her arms to hug fans or the sometimes fleeting look she got when a comment didn’t quite rub her the right way and Dan couldn’t help but wonder if they should be sharing the little they did.

“But, seriously,” PJ was talking again, and his inflection rose with his previous joviality and trouble-making undertone. “Get up. This florist has amazing flowers and don’t get Ruth geraniums!”

“Why not?!” Dan yelped, crossing his arms across his chest with a scowl. “They are pretty!”

“You’re basically calling Ruth stupid,” PJ snickered, and Dan let his arms fall to his sides as his mouth dropped.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. You need to meet this guy. He seems like he could really help you.”

-

“This is a horrible idea,” Dan muttered as he followed a step behind PJ on the trail, fidgeting with the zip on the left shoulder of his shirt. “A stupid, terrible idea.”

“You still haven’t gotten used to being recognized,” PJ sounded tired. He leaned his neck to one side before rolling it to the other. He rammed his palm into Dan’s upper arm, watching as the other stumbled, before shaking his head slowly. “It’ll get better.”

“If you say so.” Dan wasn’t entirely convinced but he let it go as the “It’s so yellow, Dan. It’s practically neon!” van came into view and raised an eyebrow at Peej, lips pressed together and gathered in one corner to say, “What gives?” without opening his mouth.

The van was, indeed, very bright, and the aqua screen cover had been pulled out. Dan had to admit that it was very...cute. There were various wooden shelves scattered about in close proximity to the van with a few carefully positioned tables but they were completely empty.

The only plant that Dan could spy was the long, slim leaves sticking out the window of the van and he rushed to press his hand to his mouth but it was too late. He brayed with laughter- raw, unbridled hiccuping hyena snorts- as he leaned forward, supporting himself on his knees.

PJ cast his eyes heavenward, fighting a smile as Dan lost his composure before running a hand through his hair.

“Are you done yet?”

“No!--I-” Dan was trying to pull air into his lungs but he couldn’t. “You said--and there’s no--I-”

“Oh! You came back.” A chirpy northern twang interrupted Dan’s unexpected laughing fit and he immediately sank his teeth into his bottom lip to quiet himself, flushing. He shoved against his knees to stand straighter, ruffling his fringe with a quick swipe of his fingers, keeping his gaze on his black shoes. The friendly voice continued, “PJ, right?”

“Yup!” PJ trilled, clapping Dan on the shoulder roughly. “This is my friend! He needs some flower advice but it seems like you aren’t open yet?”

What am I missing?

Dan blinked as he finally lifted his eyes to the other, and he was breathless once more but not from laughing too hard.

The man had his hip propped on the tail light of his van as his pink glove covered hands cradled the wide pot in his hands. His black fringe was pushed up from his forehead by a worn purple and gold sweatband, strands sticking out at awkward angles in some places.

Dan’s tongue seemed to take up too much room in his mouth as the man’s radioactive eyes settled on him a moment before he flashed a charming grin at PJ.

What did PJ say?!

Dan realized that he had no idea but he wasn’t too concerned, tracking the man’s movement as he ambled on unsteady legs to place the pot of different bright stalks of flowers on a light wood table, a sharp breath escaping him as he set it down with care.

“I just had a late start this morning.” The man with the startling eyes spoke, rubbing his hand across his cheek. Dan caught sight of the lace trimming along the cuffs of the gloves.

“Is that lace?” Dan wondered, realizing with a jolt that he had spoken aloud as the man flexed his wrist with an amused quirk of pale pink lips.

They look so smooth. I wonder if he uses lip balm regularly?

Stop it. Stop it.  

“Yes, it is actually,” He hummed, tugging on the dirt stained ruffles lightly. “My friend, Chris, bought it for me as a joke a while back.” Dan’s heart stuttered as the other’s lips pulled back and his tongue pressed between his teeth as he grinned. “He told me, ‘Phil! It’s just your color!’ and Louise almost had a fit because she loved them, and Aiden was just laughing like an idiot and…”

His name is Phil.

Dan watched as Phil’s hands moved as he rambled, taking note of the slightly glazed sheen over his eyes. PJ was listening as well, giggling quietly.

Phil seemed to come back to himself and quieted immediately before clearing his throat in apparent embarrassment.

“Sorry,” He apologized, and Dan frowned at the lower, subdued cadence that was reaching his ears. “I got a bit carried away.” Phil kneeled to nudge a lopsided flower stalk to encourage it to sit a bit more center before patting the blooms with a single finger. “Long story short, I wear them to spite him. It works.”

Phil smiled again but his eyes seemed...lackluster and lost.

Dan didn’t like it.

“As long as he knows he’s a right twat,” Dan intoned, stuffing his hands in his pockets with a tiny shrug.

“Dan!” PJ groaned, placing his whole hand over his face.

Dan wasn’t paying attention to his friend but to Phil whose eyes had widened, and he nibbled his lip uncertainly. The slight knot in his chest eased as Phil’s eyes twinkled.

Better.

Dan didn’t want to even begin to consider the thoughts that were crossing his mind so he just let them come and drift away.

“He does. Believe me.” Phil squinted at Dan, studying his face with a warm but critical eye. Dan met his stare without flinching, even as his heartbeat started to flutter at being the center of Phil’s attention. “H...have we met before?”

Oh. I think I would remember meeting you, Mr. Pretty Eyes.

Dan tilted his head at the question, and felt PJ edge closer to his side.  

It had been like this since the two of them started gaining popularity in their separate spheres. Dan and PJ had made a late night pact after a particularly distressing encounter with some pushy fans that whenever they went out together, they would help each other escape from curious eyes if need be. It was a good system that had kept PJ sane when the constant attention became too much, and it had helped Dan when trying to film in his dorm at Uni when his friend came to visit.

“I don’t think so,” Dan answered honestly, shaking his head as a response to both Phil’s question and PJ’s silent precautionary advancement. “I don’t get out much.”

“Oh,” Phil sighed, raising his fingers to drum against his mouth. “You look familiar. I just thought I might have seen you somewhere.”

“You might have,” Dan conceded reluctantly, digging the toe of his shoe into the loose dirt as his heart jumped into his throat. He wasn’t sure if it was the stupid impulse to impress the man he had just met- Seriously, brain. What the hell?- or uncertainty that Phil was trying to play him that was fueling his next statement. “I mean...I make videos on the internet for a living--” Dan snapped his mouth shut and clenched his teeth together, cringing.

Oh my god.

He’s going to think I’m a fucking cam boy or something!

PJ’s jaw had dropped, mouth slightly agape. Dan sent a caustic glare toward his friend, mouthing, “You are no help!” to which PJ merely swept his hand out to the side.

“That didn’t come out the way I wanted,” Dan tacked on in a mumble, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Phil didn’t seem put out by his poor wording at all- no raised eyebrow, surprise jerk of any muscles, or scowl.

“Are you a YouTuber, then?”

“How did you--” Dan marveled, cutting himself off to nod. “Yes, I am.”

“Right,” Phil said more to himself and he raised his hands, palms out, at Dan’s arched eyebrow. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way! I just meant you’re pretty enough to be a YouTuber.” Phil’s cheeks immediately started to redden and he lowered his hands to turn back to his van.

The crinkles around Dan’s eyes softened as Phil took quick long loping strides away from him. PJ elbowed him in the side with barely contained impishness, even and glistening white teeth bared.

“Say anything, I will deck you,” Dan threatened in a whisper and PJ’s grin widened before he inclined his head in the direction of Phil.

“You are pretty, Daniel,” PJ singsonged in a near inaudible volume before he placed his hands on his hips. He kept his voice to its soundless pitch. “Seriously. It could be worse- he’s a handsome lad.”

Dan couldn’t deny that. Phil had swung his leg up to lean on his knee as he slid pots with different flowers away from him to angle himself over the short plants. His arse looked fabulous in his tight black skinny jeans and were his pants…

Don’t look!

Dan’s face was on fire as he snapped his attention back to Peej.

He was taken by surprise when PJ flung his arm around his neck to drag him into a loose headlock, cackling. Phil peered over his shoulder for a moment at the two of them before he returned with a pot of geraniums cradled against his chest and a yellow legal pad in his right hand.

“If I remember correctly,” Phil set the container down on the table beside the only pot he had managed to set up, tossing the pad carelessly on the table. “You were looking at the geraniums, yeah?”

“Yeah,” PJ managed, shaking with the effort to keep his bubbling mirth under control. “It was Dan’s idea but when I heard the meaning…”

Dan shrugged PJ’s arm off peevishly as his eyes shot daggers at his friend. “They are pretty!”

“They are.” Phil reached out to Dan before seeming to think better of it, popping out a knee so he was leaning slightly to the left, as he brought his hand back to pet the geraniums on the table between them. “In the Victorian Era, though, they meant stupidity. There are other meanings but that is the most common that is still accepted today.”

“I didn’t know that.” Dan kept his reply as gentle as he could as Phil continued to caress the flowers like a doting owner would stroke their lazy cat who was lounging in the sunlight. “What would you recommend for a progressing relationship?”

“It depends. As in a transition from friends to lovers?”

“No. Just a step into deeper commitment.” Dan watched Phil’s eye drift upwards for a moment before pulling the paper he had brought with him earlier.

“Let’s try this…what’s your favorite color?” Phil asked, gazing up at Dan through his fringe.

“What? Why?” Dan blurted out in confusion and yelped as he staggered forward, planting his palms on the table’s edge from PJ’s shove.

“Let the man work his magic, Dan!”

Dan was about to retort when he realized that he was tipped forward into Phil’s space and that those eyes were raised to his, the darkness of his pupils seemingly larger. Dan’s words died in his throat, taking in the sunlight reflecting in slight blue streaks of Phil’s hair and how his pale skin was flushed lightly. How his eyes seemed to be a supernova- tendrils of yellow lightning snaking through the blue and flecks of green scattered in the space- and…

You’re being horribly poetic.

“You look pretty enough to be a faerie,” Dan pointed out softly, fingers releasing the edge he had started gripping for dear life (when did that happen?) to curl under his palms. Phil blinked harshly at his words while Dan leaned back, straightening his spine. “I mean…” Dan crossed his arms across his chest tightly.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

“An elf.” Phil’s words were light and Dan caught sight of the twitching corners of his mouth as he focused on his paper, scratching the nub of his pen in an idle pattern as he spoke. “If you must associate me with something that is tied to plants, then I’m an elf.” Phil looked up then to pin him with a small secretive simper and Dan took a step back reflexively. “Because reasons.”

“...What even is this conversation?” Dan breathed, rubbing his sweaty palm on his jeans without a thought as a high, shaky laugh escaped his lips.

“I was wondering the same thing…” PJ’s eyes skimmed over Dan and then Phil, raising his thumb and pointer finger to curl around his chin with a thoughtful hum.

Dan shuffled further away from the florist. Phil bowed his head over the papers, reaching to push his fringe up slightly. His fingers brushed the headband.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Phil remarked quietly. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Oh, um, I don’t really have one favorite?”

It was true. He liked a couple of different colors despite Ruth’s insisting that black was his favorite because it spanned most of his wardrobe. There was something about the brightness of white that drew him...the cleanness of a hue that seemed unblemished, something to be filled with whatever you chose but warm earthy tones reminded him of fall and sinking into large sweaters without worrying about what other onlookers would think and being able to bundle his always chilly fingers.

“That’s okay,” Phil’s words broke through his reverie. “You can say more than one.”

Gold was striking to him and it wasn’t helping that Phil’s eyes had a bit mixed in that flashed brightly when the sunlight was at this angle. Purple was lovely and reminded him of Ruth, of the three month period that there was bright orchid along the last three inches of her hair and all over the tiles of the shower.

(There were still stains but they had faded.)

Dan didn’t realize he was smiling as he began listing: “White, gold, earthy colors...and purple. Purple is cool.”

Phil’s pen stopped moving and he tapped the list with his pointer finger. “I can work with this list. If you want to come back in a couple of hours, I’ll have a bouquet. Or tomorrow, if that fits your schedule better…” Phil trailed off before he carried on in a more polite tone. “Sir.”

“Dan. I’m Dan,” Dan immediately corrected with a relaxed smile. “We’ve called each other pretty. I think you can call me by my first name.”

“Phil.” Phil extended his hand and Dan took it, feeling a tiny current tingling along his skin. Phil tilted his head with a small smile. “Nice to meet you.”

-

“Dan!” Ruth dropped her large gray purse on the ground as she walked through their door, making a beeline for him and flinging herself into his arms. Dan flinched before laying his arms across her back, pulling her to him tightly, and curling his six-foot three frame around her much smaller five foot four body.

Ruth nudged his knees with her hip to situate herself more comfortably between them, bringing both her hands to card through his hair.

“How was your audition, babe?” Dan asked, raising his chin from where it had settled on the top of Ruth’s head. He noticed the way her lipstick had travelled slightly upwards, just a bit above the top of her heart-shaped lips and brought a hand to cradle her cheek. “That bad, huh?”

“Yeah…” Ruth sighed, exposing the lipstick that clung to the bottom of her front two teeth.

So, she had been biting her lip.

Dan pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Their loss. They missed out on an acting genius.”

Ruth didn’t say a word, still stroking his hair, before she broke into an immense euphoric grin. Dan couldn’t help the way his mouth parted slightly as he furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What?”

“They didn’t.” Ruth tightened her hold on the strands in her grasp gently.

“They didn’t...what?”

“They didn’t lose an acting genius…”

The words registered in his sluggish mind before his own lips stretched into a smile, letting his arms fall lower, encircling Ruth’s waist.

“Oh?” He feigned cluelessness, playing along. She hadn’t been biting her lip as a show of her anxiety then but because she was terrible at not blurting out news as soon as she walked in the door.

“Because they liked me so much that I’m getting a minor role! In multiple episodes!” Ruth exploded happily, muscles twitching with excitement. She squirmed as he sprang from the armchair to swing her upwards.

“Daniel!” Ruth shrieked as the points of her heels dangled above the carpet. “You need to be careful or--”

The carpet beneath his feet seemed to sway. He watched the walls jerk to the side and heard his girlfriend cry out before he was pressed against the soft springiness of the carpet, groaning. He couldn’t breathe so he wrenched his head to the side, closing his eyes.

There was only darkness in his vision but he could still feel the world spinning under him.

Ruth toed off her heels from where she had been dropped before crawling over to Dan, rubbing a palm between his shoulder blades slowly.

“You got up too fast.” The words were familiar on Ruth’s tongue and dripping with fondness as she scooted even closer on her bum, crossing her legs. “Do you want to lay your head on my lap or are you still dizzy?”

“Dizzy.” Dan puffed and adding: “I feel like a fucking logged tree.”

“Yay Orthostatic Hypotension.” Ruth chimed in with a perky sardonic lilt. She had ceased the sliding motion of her hand but her fingers tapped a random pattern in the space between Dan’s scapulas. “How long have you been in the chair?”

Dan grunted in response. Ruth took it as the “I lost track of time.” it most likely meant and giggled.

“You jumped when I hugged you. You looked like you were thinking…” Dan focused on the gentle pitter patter against his skin as she spoke, forcing himself to inhale slowly through his nose. He choked on his own spit as she continued: “You’re not having another crisis, are you? Should I be worried?”

Dan wasn’t sure how to respond. He didn’t want to say, “Yes.”  because this wasn’t his normal spiralling into a series of questions concerning the value of his life in the grand scheme of the eternal timeline of humanity that turned into questioning whether humankind was important at all. This wasn’t him pacing restlessly at an odd hour. This wasn’t him climbing into bed to clutch at a sleep-warmed Ruth, breathing in stuttering heaves.

This was something else entirely but it was a something that wouldn’t let the word, “No.” spill from his vocal cords.

This was sitting in silence, beside himself and analyzing his reactions. This was picturing Phil’s tricolored eyes and feeling phantom fingers skimming along his spine that made him shiver. This was feeling the tickle of butterfly wings in his tummy and they were angry. This was seeing Phil’s pupils open as he looked at him and catching a flash of something before a dark weight of something melancholy overpowered it.

It was hearing PJ’s disbelieving but cautious tone.

“If I didn’t know you, Dan, I would think you have a crush.”

Dan hadn’t said a word to his friend but after sitting down for a while to think about what this was, he came to a startling conclusion.

He was attracted to Phil.

Dan opened his eyes, turning on his side to make sure that the room was stationary before swinging his body so he could lay his head in Ruth’s lap. She peered at him with a tenderness that had his chest clenching and he reached up to hold both of her cheeks between his hands. Her hair tickled him but he didn’t mind, relaxing at the unconcealed affection.

“I met a boy today,” He murmured and the devilishness that never fully left her lips quirked the corners higher. “While I was out with Peej.”

“Yeah?” She hummed, leaning down so she was invading his space even more. “He must be special if you’re telling me. Is he a subscriber?”

“I don’t think so,” Dan mused, thumbs starting to drag in small circles over the freckles splashed under them. “He’s seen my videos, though.”

“So what’s with this boy then? It is not everyday that Daniel Howell ventures out and meets someone!”

Dan had to laugh at that. His breath crashed through his nose, causing him to snort obnoxiously. His hands fell from Ruth’s cheeks as she joined in his laughter.

“I meet people!” Dan tried as he wheezed. At Ruth’s lifted brow, he squeaked. “Occasionally!”

“Conceded.” Ruth nodded, swooping down to brush her lips against his. She pulled back slightly. “So you met this boy who has watched your videos and?”

“His name is Phil,” Dan supplied, licking his lips and tasting the waxy tartness of the lipstick left behind. “I don’t know, Ruthie. Sometimes you meet someone and they are just…” His hands lifted to rotate through the air as he searched for a suitable word. “Bright.”

“Phil has a nice aura, then.” Ruth pecked the tip of his nose and smirked when he wrinkled it.

“Yeah, but he just seems…” Dan reminisces the way Phil had reached to brush away his fringe, the way his eyes dimmed at times with a heavy fog. “Sad. Lost. I don’t know.”

“You sound taken with him.” Ruth straightened her spine, making a contented noise as it popped. She leaned her weight on her arms, letting herself recline. “Why not ask him to be your friend? It wouldn’t hurt. I mean…” She seemed to consider something, scraping her teeth against her bottom lip- leaving stripes of her natural pigment behind. “If you don’t think he’s trying to be your friend because of your videos.”

“He’s not,” Dan soothed confidently, clasping his fingers on his stomach. “He reminds me of you.” He confesses before continuing a rush: “Genuine. Open. Kind.”

Beautiful.

“Then be his friend! Visit him tomorrow after your meeting,” Ruth encouraged, jerking her knee upwards so he scoffed as his shoulder was lifted unexpectedly. “C’mon, Dan! You’re heavy! And we need to celebrate!”

“For you!” Dan agreed, making sure to smile as big as he could to make his dimple prominent as he stayed where he was lounging. Ruth was always cozy with heat and she had all the tension draining from him, leaving him a contented puddle.

“And you making a new friend! It’s a miracle!” Ruth teased before jamming her blunt fingernail into his cheek. “Uh uh. Don’t dimple at me, you knob. Off.”

Dan groaned as she uncrossed her legs and scooted away, letting his head crash against the carpet.

“What are we getting, you leprechaun?”

Ruth glowered at his words for a moment, digging her toes painfully into his side. “Don’t make me hurt you,” She warned before tapping him much softer with her big toe. “Pizza?”

-

His feet slid in the gravel as he trudged in the direction of Phil’s van.

His eyelids fluttered shut before snapping open even as he put one foot in front of the other. Dan threw his shoulders back, fussing lowly in muttered snippets only audible to himself. He should have gone to bed sooner but Ruthie had been adamant about getting his script in order because he had promised his viewers that he would have a video up by the end of the week...which meant that she had bounced on their bed as he sat with his back against the frame, reading it.

It wasn’t an unusual occurrence but paired with Peej waking him up at an earlier hour, his mind buzzing with his new found crush, and Ruth bubbling with unspent energy…

He wasn’t a fully functional human on this particular day- at all- and for whatever reason he had been seated next to Chris Kendall for the meeting. The guy was a character- quick witted, spunky, humorous- but there was an intensity to him that had Dan squirming in his seat.

Especially when it was directed at him.

“You’re danisnotonfire?” Chris turned to him, using the packet of papers they had received as a makeshift fan.

“I’m Dan. Yes,” Dan replied, shifting in the cushion he was sitting on as another YouTuber with bleached hair and rose tips frowned in their direction. “We’ve met before.”

“Yes, we have,” Chris agreed with a lascivious smirk. “You are a charmer. Gorgeous smile. Sexy face. Marketable.” Dan watched as he laid the papers on the table to roll them into a loose tube.

“Pardon?” Dan coughed.

“But-” Chris singsonged before pointing the cylinder at Dan. “I don’t know what to make of you, Dan.”

“What?”

“I don’t know what to make of you. You seem cool but are you really?”

“Er…” Dan was at a loss for words and Chris’ smile widened. An image of the Cheshire cat sprung to Dan’s mind and he drummed his fingers in a show of nerves.

“I’m harmless.” Chris giggled at the display as he leaned back. “Relax.”

There was a hint of something...defensive swimming in the light hearted words that made Dan’s shoulders rise even higher before (thankfully- Jesus fucking Christ) the meeting was resumed.

It was safe to say that he was worn out.

He blinked at the scene before him.

Flowers were everywhere. The tables that had been bare when he and Peej had come yesterday were jammed with pots and blooms in every shade of every coloration. The shelves held twisting vines and Dan caught sight of the flat, skinny leaves of the corn cane that had been peeking from the window. It slanted to the right comically and he couldn’t help but chuckle.

Phil was motioning towards a pot with white orchids dotted with magenta speckles, excitedly, as he talked with a girl with short and wispy pale pink hair. A camera was slung around her neck and she was focused on Phil, posture slack.

Dan ground his teeth at the quiet self-assuredness surrounding her and he quickened his pace.

She doesn’t even look bothered. How can she not be a mess in front of Phil?

The girl adjusted her glasses as she smiled at Phil sweetly. Dan’s jaw clenched even tighter as she spoke,

“You’re very sweet. It just looks like a pile of cotton candy on my head.” She motioned to her hair for emphasis and Dan watched Phil giggle, teeth squeezing his tongue.

“No!” Phil disagreed amicably, shaking his head before he clapped his hands together. “Ah! I have an idea. One moment, please.” Phil zoomed towards a wooden shelf to his right, fingers dancing over the pots, bouncing on his tiptoes.

Dan couldn’t help but let out an amused breath as discreetly as possible but it stopped dead when Phil turned around with a single orchid in his hand. He was making his way back to the girl.

The girl who had the lovely pink hair.

Dan pressed his lips into a thin line as Phil handed the flower to her and motioned to put it behind her ear. She eyed Phil with a bit of uncertainty but obliged, giggling lowly as she slid the delicate stem behind her ear.

Phil was positively luminescent with satisfaction- shallow lines around his eyes deepening, that damn tongue trapped where it had been every time Dan saw him smile, and a liveliness twinkling in his eyes.

“See- it almost matches your hair!” Phil told the girl before pursing his lips, bringing his fist under his chin. “Your hair does look like cotton candy, though. Very delicious.”

WHAT. Did he just…

“Hello!” Dan broke in, keeping his steps at a leisured pace as he came to stand beside the girl. “How’s it going, Phil?” He flicked his wrist in a brisk wave before he gave a brief, slightly exasperated laugh.

“I’m just talking with Kate.” Phil nodded toward the girl he had come to stand beside. “She comes by every once in awhile after her photography course.”

That explains the camera.

Dan knew that he really shouldn’t be feeling as riled as he did. He carried a camera with him, now and again, when he decided to film a rare vlog but he couldn’t help the accusatory flick of his eyes toward the equipment before he met Kate’s shocked gaze.

“I knew Louise came here sometimes but,” Kate ran her nails over the camera lens as she gaped at Phil. “I didn’t know you knew Dan Howell! Do you know everybody?” The question was light hearted and Dan had to admit that he was taken aback by not being ambushed by someone who recognized him.

“Maybe I do.” Phil concurred before he chuckled. “I don’t, not really. It does seem like I am a magnet for YouTubers!” He wiggled his brows at Kate who laughed before he stood a bit straighter. “I have an idea! You needed a photo for your project, right? Something about intentional photo mistakes?”

“Yeah.” Kate drug out the word as she rocked on the balls of her feet with a slight frown.

“It’s just a shot or two?” Phil fished and Dan adjusted his own feet as he was suddenly pinned under those glittering eyes.

“Yes?” Kate’s answer sounded more like a question. Phil’s lips stretched even wider.

“Dan!” Phil clapped and Dan jumped.

“What?”

“Will you help Kate with her project?” Phil dipped his head to gaze at Dan from beneath his dark hair and…

He couldn’t be responsible for his actions when he was faced with that.

It’s only two photos, right? I’ll be fine. I take pictures with subscribers regularly. It’s no different.

Then, Phil turned to Kate and winked. Dan took in a sharp breath before flipping his fringe out of his eyes, putting on a small polite smile.

“I can’t.” Dan’s words were contrite and gentle as he shook his head. “I was actually on my way to a meeting.”

He caught the way Phil’s eyes narrowed but the florist didn’t say anything. Kate dropped the camera so it dangled from the strap with a quiet breath.

“That’s okay.” She flicked a piece of her hair away from her face before she bit her lip. “Can I have a hug?”

“Absolutely,” Dan responded, opening his arms. Kate shuffled towards him and he gave her a friendly squeeze, resting his chin on her head. “I’m sure you’ll do fine on your project,” He promised sincerely before he released her. “Have a good day. I have to be off.”

“Thank you,” Kate murmured and he gave her his signature two finger salute before nodding at Phil.

“I’ll stop by again sometime, Phil.”

He turned toward the trail and strolled away with a repressed sigh.

“Jealousy will be your downfall one day, Dan.” Ruth’s partly delighted, slight exasperated quip entered his thoughts, and Dan laughed to himself, pushing his hair up into a quiff before flattening it once more.

I’m not jealous.

Yeah. Right. You just sat through a meeting and now you’re off to another imaginary one.

At least, I can take a nap now.

“Dan!” Phil’s high yell broke through his inner monologue and Dan stopped, turning to see Phil making his way toward him with a single red flower with a darkened center. “Wait!”

A disbelieving laugh escaped Dan, and he caught sight of Phil’s pleased expression, lips twitching.

“Here.” Phil held out his little tag along to Dan who took it from him, fingers brushing against pale and smooth skin.

“What’s this?” Dan questioned, turning the flower in his grasp with deliberate care.

“A petunia.”

“Why are you giving it to me?”

Phil paused for a moment and Dan felt the air saturate with that dense sadness that Phil had lurking around him at times.

“I promised you a bouquet,” Phil started, pinching the hem of his shirt between his fingers as he caught and held Dan’s eye. “But, since you’re leaving... I figured a petunia would do- for now.”

“I can just get your number,” Dan pointed out brashly before the telltale rose hue of his embarrassment stained his cheeks. “It would let me know when you had it ready…”

“Or you could just come back since the YouTube meeting was held earlier,” Phil mused with sass sprinkled through the words before he sniggered. “Of course. That means you’ll have to tell Kate that you’re a dirty liar, Daniel.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Dan deflected, clearing his throat as his voice squeaked in the middle of his statement.

“Sure you don’t,” Phil drawled before he spun to face his van. Dan’s fingers tightened slightly around his petunia as the other started to wander away. Phil stopped once more to shoot over his shoulder.

“And I don’t know my number.”

Dan must have been quite a sight- holding his petunia away from his body while he was doubled over, howling with laughter. He could feel his eyes stinging with tears and was almost one hundred percent sure his cheeks were crimson but he couldn’t bring himself to care in that moment.

Phil was a cheeky little shit and Dan couldn’t deny that he was delighted.

(And perhaps more than a little fucked but he would ignore that little tidbit for now.)

-

Previous Part: Denial / Next Part: Anger, second act

#Phandom Reverse Bang 2017 #PRB 2017 #Phan #Phanfiction #Florist! Phil #YouTuber! Dan #Ambrose's writing #Kat's writing

[rxkaldia]

The House Of Truth

This is all copypasted from a booklet I might print or shove into a bigger book, eventually.

INTRODUCTION

On July 1st of 2017, I woke up re-inspired to pursue dream. It was that of a temple, all devoted to whatever it truly meant to be... whatever we are. So, I got on my fancy dancy smart phone and messaged a few friends with like minds on the subject. We all agreed that a temple whose purpose was housing the pursuit of individual Truth was a magnificent idea, and to build it together. Then we never fucking did it.

Instead, we each ended up taking an oath that resembled something like the common goal we thought we had. I don't think any of us falter from our agreements. The house stands in each of us and our actions, and we function as well as any few fucks that agree on some stuff.

THE NAME

At first, I thought it sounded cooler to call it the Temple Of Truth, but I like acronyms and word play. All matches TOT is potatoes.  THOT has a list of correspondences.

-Phonetically, "THOT" is the same as "thought". In the process of creation, the first mode of recognizeable existence something has born out of Nothing is as thought. An idea.

-The acronym THOT has also been popularized as a casual insult, short for "That Hoe Over There". I think that’s funny.

-Connections have been made between a rise in the masses using the term "THOT" and the rise of the egyptian god Thoth, particularly after the acclaimed insurrection placing the egyptian god Kek into American politics by manipulation of the Pepe the frog meme. As 2016 was the year of Kek, so 2017 is the year of Thoth. Or something.

OATH TO THOT

When The House Of Truth was formed, it was agreed by the first members that we each might write our own oath. It was a way for us to be clear with one another about our goals and what each of us wanted to do. I've included those of the first three members here to give a general idea of what foundations the House was built upon. Mine goes as follows:

"I swear by the soul of ha'adam and the holy Eye, that by which All is known, to be my heart's Truth, and to the best of my ability, honest in all I See.

I will assist others in their pursuit of understanding and continue to expand upon my own for long as I am able. The House Of Truth lives on in me. I know no enemies, only that what IS."

That of Ahava:

"On my relation to my heart, by the light of Ain Soph, and with the myriad of consciousnesses of the universe as my witness, I pledge myself to the pursuit of Truth and to the honest execution of the path of my heart, no matter where that may lead me.

To the House of Truth I will be faithful. To all those who honestly seek after the fruits of knowledge, understanding, and wisdom, I pledge my brotherhood, that they will be as family to me. That they should be afforded the same care and concern as if they were flesh of my flesh, and blood of my blood, for all Seekers after Truth are one in spirit.

I will not hoard the knowledge and understanding which I may gain in my search, but that a fair pathway is made available to those who would share in these treasures. May my judgements in such matters be always fair and wise.

May my heart and my hands be always guided in wisdom toward Ultimate Truth, unfettered by distortion or misinterpretation. May it be that if I follow this oath in my heart and mind, that always shall my steps be fruitful and my seeking rewarded. If it shall be that I violate this oath, willfully and knowingly, in my heart and in my mind, that my steps be foiled and punished.

From this day until my last, may this promise bind me."

And that of Jason Luxon:

"I (name) do attest to Truthspeaking, to speak Truth unto all ears, regardless of belief or repercussion. I do swear to pass on what I have learned to those that need to hear it, and to take payment in the witnessing of the manifestation of Mine Own Truth.

Amun Amoun Amen Kepher."

MISSION STATEMENT

"May every creature have the chance to explore the unknown without the constraints of bias, and to learn from those who have gone before them."

ON WHAT IS TRUE

"Aletheia" is an old Greek term roughly able to be explained in English with words like "truth" and "unclosedness". As provided by the lovely writers of Wikipedia, the word's literal meaning is "the state of not being hidden; the state of being evident."

Most people will each tell you something different when it comes to explaining "the truth". I might answer in short that everything is True. Which, by way of eliminating the possibility of falsehood, also means that nothing is True.

Our objective here is to allow people to figure it out for themselves. As I understand it, nothing can be known for it's Truth without having been experienced directly. How would I describe to you the color blue if you had never seen it? And once you've seen it, there's no need to describe it.

So there it is - showing trumps telling. 

MAGICKAL SHIT

So there's this goddess I met as a teenager and called my imaginary cat friend. She/it covers a strange cluster of being, from the all-seeing eye who extends forth as the mighty and just wrath of the sun, to a giant cat whose belly is the abyss and keeps guarded Truth at it's center. The truth is also kind of a red ball/sun disk, and the eye is also kind of the I which is also kind of the sun. But what's important are the tools I can give you to see for yourself.

On the cover of this text is an image with a short name below it and a phrase beside it. Each of these came directly from my workings with my giant cat goddess friend, because she's cool and gives me stuff. These might be used to conjure forth the big bad being and negotiate. The phrase, I'm pretty sure, resembles the specific type of deal I made.

When I did my thing, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I went into a dark room, filled it with the smoke of incense, meditated into a trance and called forth my giant cat friend. When the presence in the room started to shift, I asked it to show itself. The half of the room opposite me grew black and heavy. Corners and shadows that once made up the far wall were swallowed by complete darkness. It carried the sense that it went on forever, and might extend to obliterate the entire room at any moment. I asked my cat friend to swallow me into it's belly, that I may be broken down and dissolved in the darkness until all that was left of me were my most pure components. Then, I could be able to reach the Truth that rested at it's center. In return, I would always be "true".

In response, the darkness on the other side of the room grew. It took the shape of the closet door that was previously part of the normal wall. I watched the door become another visible aspect of the darkness. It opened, revealing behind it a gaping, even-blacker hole that all the  darkness seemed to be coming from. What was previously a small closet was now the infinite expanse of the abyss. It was the cat godess's gaping mouth inviting me to enter.

However, I was completely fucking stupid and thought that this meant it didn't work. I got angry and bickered about her not showing up. The vision started to fade, and I could see the normal closet and wall through the cloud of darkness. I very rudely told her to leave and went to sulk while eating ramen noodles. Three years passed of being a twit and life relentlessly ripping me to pieces before I hit the "Truth" part, then remembered having made a deal with an ancient egyptian goddess in a tool shed when I was nineteen. Guess it worked after all.

IN CONCLUSION

                                               Fuck yeah.

#occult #witchcraft #magick #magic #egyptian gods #bastet #bast #wadjet #sot #thot #stars of tiphareth

[jose-a-perez]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZaUSCZns_w

KETER, EMANATION OF THE CROWN The first Emanation. It is the first utterance. The font of energy through which Ein Soph permeates into the universe. The crown sits above the head and embodies that which is beyond our comprehension. One must envision Keter not as an object that can be perceived, but as the light that is cast upon it. Keter’s light is beyond knowability, a timeless expanse of pure consciousness. Only through our respect for our own limitations do we begin to see the shadow of its nature. It is dark orb through which The Infinite lies beyond. As the highest point on the tree, all continuums cascade downwards from it. Keter stands in contrast to Malkuth, who rests at the very bottom of the tree. The span that lies between them measures the complete distance from most spiritual, to the most physical aspects of our existence. Journeying downwards from this point, all other Emanations become increasingly close to our present experience.Found in: spiritual epiphany, faith, humility 🧠🧠🧠🧠👋 KETER, EMANACIÓN DE LA CORONA

La primera emanación. Es la primera enunciación. La fuente de energía a través de la cual Ein Soph penetra en el universo. La corona se asienta sobre la cabeza y encarna lo que está más allá de nuestra comprensión. Uno debe imaginar a Keter no como un objeto que puede ser percibido, sino como la luz que se proyecta sobre él. La luz de Keter está más allá de lo que se puede conocer, una extensión atemporal de conciencia pura. Solo a través de nuestro respeto por nuestras propias limitaciones, comenzamos a ver la sombra de su naturaleza. Es una esfera oscura a través de la cual el Infinito se encuentra más allá. Como el punto más alto en el árbol, todos los continuos caen en cascada hacia abajo desde él. Keter está en contraste con Malkuth, que descansa en la parte inferior del árbol. El lapso que se encuentra entre ellos mide la distancia completa desde la mayoría de los aspectos espirituales hasta los aspectos más físicos de nuestra existencia. Viajando hacia abajo desde este punto, todas las demás Emanaciones se acercan cada vez más a nuestra experiencia presente. Se encuentra en: epifanía espiritual, fe, humildad.

[jasmineloren]

Hey girl, I'm a soph. ad major & my advisor has placed me in a senior based class where I'm obviously behind. Everyone around me has more experience in design & knowledge in general. I'm an outcast. How do I stand out & become better? I know no one starts out good at anything but I suck and I'm clueless.

Hi! Well 1st, you don’t suck! It’s easy to think that if you compare yourself to others! I was in a similar predicament last summer when I wanted to work on my art and I felt I wasn’t as good as everyone else. What truly helped me was to totally separate from social media and looking at other peoples’ work… that way, I had nothing to compare mine to; totally starting from scratch. I reverted back to all of the things I loved to do growing up because I felt I was losing my imagination by getting mixed in with superficial shit online (and you know they say children have the purest and most expansive imaginations). Spend time with yourself, read new things (because with books, there’s little to no imagery so you have no choice BUT to imagine), watch your old favorite childhood movies/shows, build your imagination back up and keep a journal because ideas will be flowing like crazy!

When you say ad, I assume you’re talking about advertising; so try watching some funny/cool commercial compilation videos on YouTube (classic 70s, 80s, 90s, and early 00s ones are my fave!), read some old magazines and look at the ads in there, look at movie posters, study punchlines/puns/wordplay, observe your environment, listen to some music you love… all of these things will guide you creatively as well as help you gain knowledge you forgot you had! You got this ❤ good luck!

[sophygurl]

sophy’s social media habits

After WisCon I like to make a post about how I use social media, but this is not just for fellow con-goers. It serves as a good update and reminder for anyone who wants to follow me on any of the many places today’s internet gives us to socialize. 

If we met/chatted/interacted in some way at WisCon - please feel free to follow me on any of these sites, but also lmk who you are because I have memory/cognitive issues and don’t always automatically link people from in-person to online personas or might not recall who you are based just on your name and/or face so something like “we chatted about Thing after Panel on Day” is awesome. (or even we never got to chat but I saw you on X panel... which is why *I* often end up following ppl after WisCon - hi btw if you’re looking at this post because you’re wondering why I suddenly starting following you, this might be the answer!)

Because everyone does social media differently, here’s my basic deal:

I’m sophygurl everywhere but FB now, and my FB name is the one attached to my twitter account so I’m pretty easy to find under either name and honestly have no qualms about using my online and in-person names interchangeably so you can call me soph or sophy on FB and you call me Rose or Rosemary on tumblr, and you can call me any of those things in person and it’s all good with me. 

Well, I’m still sophy on LJ but I’m really only on LJ anymore to comment on the accounts of my friends who aren’t switching over. The whole Russia and new TOS thing has me not wanting to add new content there and also I’ll likely delete my old content eventually, but the account itself will remain. SO. If you still use LJ actively in ways that are not linked to elsewhere - LMK and I’ll add you there and to the appropriate reading filters.

I’m sophygurl on DW and let me just say now - I don’t check in to read or post on either DW or LJ very often. I’d say it’s about once a month. 

Also sophygurl on twitter, which finds it’s most active use around WisCon time and then around Big Brother season in the summer (it’s an obsession).

And sophygurl on tumblr, which is where I spend most of my online time. Not a ton of personal stuff goes there, as it’s mostly fandom related with some politics and silliness thrown in, but occasionally I make an original post about my actual life.

FB is where I’m most likely to post small personal snippets with DW being the place for longer more expansive (though more occasional) updates. 

I’m never ever up to date on my reading on any of these sites and don’t expect anyone to be up to date on reading my stuff, either. That’s just how it goes these days. If there’s something you want to make sure I see - please do tag me! 

I do have a blog reader which I get to around monthly, as well, so lmk if you have a blog I should be adding to that.

As a mostly homebound chick who is also an extrovert, I adore interaction of any kind - so pop me messages and while my energy levels might require that it take me some time to reply - I’ll be super happy to chat with you!

One of my most favorite things in the entire world is to give people TV show recs, so if you need an ice breaker or just really want some new shows to watch - I’m happy to discuss this at any time, really. 

#wiscon #i don't have a tag for this

[thomasroach]

Wolfenstein: Youngblood Launch Trailer Released

Ahead of its launch on Friday for the PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Nintendo Switch, and PC, Bethesda Softworks has released the launch trailer for Wolfenstein: Youngblood.

In this title, BJ’s twin daughters Jess and Soph set out to find their father in 1980s Paris. At the same time, these two must help the French Resistance liberate the country from German occupation. Players can experience the game in co-op.

You can view the launch trailer below:

Wolfenstein: Youngblood – Official Launch Trailer

Source: Press Release

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Wolfenstein: Youngblood Launch Trailer Released published first on https://juanaframi.tumblr.com/

[jamieclawhorn]

This five-bagger value stock still looks like a bargain

Although fears of a second bubble may have been overstated, finding a great tech-related stock trading on a still-vaguely-sensible valuation feels like more of a challenge these days. That’s not to say it’s impossible. Here’s one that’s caught my eye.

Record first half

Over the last year, shares in Computacenter (LSE: CCC) have done rather well, rising 15% before today. On a longer timeline, the stock has been an even bigger winner for holders, having five-bagged in just nine years. What’s more, this morning’s interim results suggest that the shares are heading in only one direction.

In the six months to the end of June, revenue climbed 15% to £1.7bn with particularly strong growth being seen in Computacenter’s German business. Adjusted pre-tax profits also rose a very encouraging 66% to just under £42m. Even if some of the latter can be attributed to beneficial currency movements, the majority of growth appears to have been generated from improved operational performance.   

While the business now faces the tough challenge of matching its performance in H2 last year, CEO Mike Norris stated that Computacenter remains “on track for a record performance” and “marginally ahead” of management expectations conveyed in its April trading update. In his words, Computacenter’s board has “never been more optimistic about the market’s potential, as customers invest capital, digitalise their businesses and require support to reduce their long-term operating costs”. 

Today’s forecast-beating numbers have seen shares soar 17% in early trading. On a valuation of 18 times forecast earnings, however, the stock still looks a great deal, particularly as Computacenter also declared that it would return more cash to shareholders (approximately £100m) in Q4. 

A risky bet?

For evidence that Computacenter’s valuation still looks more than reasonable, check out £2.3bn cap network security solutions provider Sophos (LSE: SOPH). Right now, its shares are firmly in nosebleed territory, trading as they are on 98 times 2017/18 earnings.

True, recent results have been more than positive. The company’s financial performance in Q1 was ahead of management’s own expectations thanks to strong demand for its next-generation anti-ransomware solutions following the high-profile WannaCry and Petya cyber attacks in May and June.

Having achieved a 16% rise in billings (19% at constant currency) over the three months to the end of June, CEO Kris Hagerman stated that the Abingdon-based company “continues to grow faster than the overall industry and gain share“. He also expects this momentum to continue, allowing the company to meet its full-year expectations. 

Trouble is, with such high hopes comes the possibility of huge disappointment. While it would be hard to deny that Sophos has managed to build an enviable position in a white hot industry (leading shares to double in value over the last year), any sign of weakness will surely be punished by the market.

A huge drop isn’t guaranteed, of course. Just look at Fevertree, Purplebricks and Blue Prism for evidence of stocks that have continued to defy gravity. No, the question investors need to ask is whether they are happy with the level of risk they are taking by buying/holding a stock at this kind of valuation. It is, after all, the only thing we are able to control.

With its still-decent valuation, solid balance sheet and encouraging recent performance, I think Computacenter is a far better play for more cautious investors.

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Tech companies aren't the only destination for growth-focused investors. Indeed, one stock that's caught the eye of the Fool's Head of UK Investing comes from a far more down-to-earth industry.

Mark Rogers is convinced this top British brand has a great future thanks to its plans for rapid overseas expansion. For more information, simply download his special report. It's completely FREE to read and comes without any obligation.

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The Motley Fool UK has no position in any of the shares mentioned. Views expressed on the companies mentioned in this article are those of the writer and therefore may differ from the official recommendations we make in our subscription services such as Share Advisor, Hidden Winners and Pro. Here at The Motley Fool we believe that considering a diverse range of insights makes

[phoenixfoundationlove-blog]

Missing Camera: A short poem by Katie Glasgow-Palmer, A New Zealand Poet

“Katie, is my camera in your backpack?”

We’re standing in an expanse of grey sand dunes. Bush-shrouded hills slope inwards, cradling the skirts of Lake Wainamu. The wind is laced with with that musty algal aroma.

“It was in one of the mesh pockets.”

I could stay here and watch as my body dissolves. Emerson’s transparent eyeball, doomed to consume life’s opulence. A seagull a few metres away takes flight.  

“Rattle your dags Soph! We’re leaving.”

Clouds mock us as they career through the wide bowl of the sky. The vista is sharply divided: murky emerald water, pale sky, rich bush, grey sand. Yet they coexist. Everything in flux.

“Can you check your bag, dad?”

It suddenly seems incongruous, a pocket of desert nestled within forest. My mind turns to the physics of it all. Sand blown over thousands of years into a sheltered gully, blocking the river to eventually form a lake. Nature’s dam is no less remarkable.

“Just pull everything out.”

The mood is beginning to distort with our collective hunger. Searching, we throw our belongings into the dune with increasing abandon. The wind picks up a little, sweeping grains of sand into our faces.

“Found it!”

My legs and arms smothered in a thin layer of rough sand. Black powder sifts through my toes. For a moment, I have merged with the turbulent, shifting earth.  

“Alright, let’s go.”

Trailing our boards and shoes, we turn away from the lake and begin the journey home.

[mrsjaxtellerfan]

Coming Home (Jax x OC) Chapter 13

Hey guys, sorry it has been so long since I’ve posted, life has been crazy! Written with @lookprettyliveclassyplaydirtyyt

Chapter 13

“What about this one?” Jax asks, looking over the listing.

“Not big enough, and it’s too far away from the school.”

“The last one was too far from T-M. Where do you WANT to live, darlin’?”

“I want to be close to Gemma and Clay and the school.”

“But not the garage?”

“Not exactly.”

“You want me to ride like 30 minutes to work?” Jax fakes exasperation.

“No of course not. The club just gets shot up a lot and I don’t want to have the kids near that.”

“You’re right. I’ll fix the search parameters and try again.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“I like this one. It’s not too small, a big backyard, close to the school and my parents, and it has that white shit you wanted on the outside.”

“We should set up a time to go look at it.” I say, leaning over his shoulder looking at the ad.

“I’ll call.” Jax replies.

“Thank you.” I reply, going to check on Abel.

“Okay, we can go look this afternoon if you want.” Jax says, closing his phone.

“Great! We are going to have to bring Abel though. Gemma can pick up Sophia.”

“Ma can watch Abel too.”

“I guess you’re right, I just don’t want to leave him alone. Just look how cute he is!” I say, holding him up so his cheek is on mine, and he’s making baby noises.

“It will be easier to check out the house if we aren’t farting around a baby.” Jax laughs, poking Abel’s cheek making him bust out in baby laughter.

“But just look at him!” I exclaim. “Ilove him so much!”

“He’s obviously his dads son. He has you wrapped around his little fingers.”

“Sophia has you wrapped around her little finger. So you have no room to talk.”

“She’s my daughter, she’s supposed to be.”

“And Abel’s my son.” I laugh, before stopping and looking at Jax going to apologize.

“He is, I want him to be at least. I overstepped didn’t I?”

“We could make it official.”

“Get married?”

“That’s not what I meant but I guess that’d make it pretty official, huh?”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have too.”

“Jax, I don’t picture myself with anyone but you. I want to marry you.”

“Here.” He says, slipping me his reaper ring. “I don’t have one right now, I’ll have to get one.”

“Woah, are you asking?” I gasp. “I didn’t mean we had to get married right now!”

“I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.”

“Well I guess I don’t have much of a choice do I?” I smile.

“Nope. You’re stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t want anything else, Jax. Now let's go look at this house, fiancé.”

“Sure thing, future Mrs Teller.” Jax smiles, pulling me in for a kiss.

“Did we seriously just get engaged?” I laugh, pulling back from the kiss.

“You bet your pretty ass we did.” Jax laugh, smacking my ass.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, darlin’.”

“Sophia is gonna be so happy, Mommy and Daddy are gonna be together forever.”

“I’m all about the fairytale, babe.”

“Jax, look at this bathtub!” I exclaim. “I think 3 of me could fit in it and still have room!”

“That means that we can both fit in it.” Jax laugh, wrapping his arms around my waist and nuzzling my neck.

“I think I like the shower better.” Jax says, pulling away and walking over to the his and hers shower. “This bitch is huge! Shower sex will be amazing in here!”

“Jax!” I exclaim, smacking his arm as the realtor blushes.

“I’ll just leave you two to discuss.” She says, booking it out of the room.

“You scared her away.” I laugh, wrapping my arms around him and kissing his back.

“Do you want an office? A place to work, away from the kids?”

“I’ll for sure need my office. I’m still running a business ya know. Speaking of, I have to go to New York for a few days here soon.”

“I’ll come with you. Ma’s been saying I need to take my vacation days, and that I’m too much like you dad.”

“You can see one of my stores! We can ask her to keep the kids and make an adult trip out of it.”

“Can we have hotel sex?” Jax asks, smirking.

“Baby, we can have all of the hotel sex and office sex and store sex and any other kind of sex we want.”

“Nothing to fancy, like 2 and half, 3 stars.” He says. “Wait, Office? Dressing room?”

“Actually, I have an apartment in New York for when I’m there for work.”

“New York apartment sex?”

“Duh. You can see where Soph grew up, well until we moved to Hershey.”

“You went to New York when you left?”

“Yep, NYU. That’s where I started my business before it expanded all across the world. I have stores in all 50 states, the meeting I have in New York is with a company overseas.”

“You’re expanding? Is that gonna take you away from us?”

“No, Jax. This expansion will help me work from home. I can do the designs, have them preproduced and shipped to Charming, make all final edits, and get it into production. It might help it go faster, actually. I’ve been thinking about opening a store here in Charming too, one that I can make home base. New York offices will always be headquarters though, but I don’t have to be there. That’s why I have managers and appointed editors.”

“Baby, I don’t know what any of that means.”

“Well it means I’m the big boss.”

“But do you have to go to New York all the time?”

“Not all of the time but the trips to New York will happen frequently while I’m working on expanding to other countries.”

“Oh. Well, as long as I can come with you. And if not me then Happy. He wouldn’t let you get hurt.”

“Jax knock it off. I lived in New York for 2 years by myself before I even met Darren. I do not need a babysitter nor do I want one. I will go alone if you can’t come.”

“I’m serious babe. Happy is gonna come with you if I can’t. I don’t want anything I take you from me or the kids.”

“Jackson, this is my work. I worked my ass off for this and I’m not letting you get in the way of it.”

“Happy can fit himself into some small spaces. He was playing hide and seek with Sophia once. He fit into the space between the Bar and the fridge.

“Jax stop. Let’s finish looking at the house. I’m don’t talking about this right now.”

“Alright, let's go see what room Sophia might want.”

“Okay.” I mumble, following behind him, knowing that a fight was going to break out later.

“So what do you guys think?” The realtor asks.

“Jax?”

“I love it!”

“So do I, and so will the kids.”

“Great!” The realtor says. “If you want to make a down payment today, you can move in as soon as next week.”

“Actually, we are going to pay in full.” I say, going into business mode.

“Ari, we didn’t talk about that. We still haven’t sold the other house.”

“We are good financially.” I argue.

“But what are we going to do with two houses? We can’t live in both.”

“Rent it out or sell it or something. Jax I don’t want to bullshit around with waiting and payments. We want the house, and I have the money so we are getting it.”

“When can we move in?” Jax asks the realtor.

“As soon as the paperwork is finished and the check is in.”

“Great, we will fill out the paperwork tonight and get a check from the bank. Thanks for your help.” I say, holding out my hand to shake hers.

“You’re welcome!” She says, shaking my hand.

“We need to talk.” Jax says as we leave.

“About what? Jax, you and I both agreed this was the one. We can sell the other house, make a profit, and invest it in the kids going to college.”

“Yeah, but I’m supposed to be the one paying for a new house.” Jax says.

“Don’t pull that sexist bullshit with me. We both know you wouldn’t be able to afford this house. We are getting the house we want so chill. It’ll be fine baby.”

“I wanted to pay for it, Ari. Please, let me pay for something.”

“Jax, you’ll be helping with bills and your name will be on the house too. Calm down, baby.”

“It was supposed to be our house.”

“It is.”

“Well it seems like you are making all of the decisions.”

“Do you not want to sign the papers, Jax? I want this house, Jax. It’s perfectly perfect. And we can make it our own with the kids. I want this with you.”

“I want the house, I just don’t want you paying the whole bill for it.”

“Do you remember what you used to joke about when we were younger?” I ask, wrapping my arms around him.

“What?” He asks, refusing to hug me back.

“You said you wanted a sugar mama. Well, baby, you got one.” I laugh.

“I was joking. I could never do that to you, darlin’.”

“Just hug me, dammit.” I say, as he wraps his arms around me.

“It’ll be fine. Plus I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to be in our own house where we can have sex wherever we want.” I laugh.

“Oh, you bet your ass we will be christening every room in this house. Minus the kids’ rooms.”

“I’m looking forward to it, baby.” I wink. “Let’s get back to the kiddos and fill out the paperwork. We gotta go to the bank tomorrow and get the check. Sophia might be sad to leave Gemma’s though, she really likes it there.”

“I’ll miss it too, but I think I’m going to like us having a place of our own more. Sophia will love it here.” Jax says, kissing my head.

“I agree. Sophia will love it here. Do you think the guys would be willing to help you pack up the house? I don’t think I can ever step foot in there again.”

“Of course, baby. We can ask them tonight when we announce our engagement.”

“Wait, we are announcing it today?”

“Yep. It’s Sunday baby. You know what that means.”

“Fuck. I forgot about dinner.”

“We go every day, and you forgot about dinner? It’s the only meal you eat.”

“I’ve had a lot on my mind with the business expansion.”

“I get that. Come on, I bet Sophia is wondering where we are.”

“I wanna tell Gemma before we announce it to everyone.”

“Like she’s the queen of England. She knows first.”

“I want to tell her we will be moving out and that we got engaged. She’s like a mother to me and I want her to know first.”

“I know she is, baby. I wish your dad was here, he would be so proud of you.”

“Ugh, don’t bring him up or I will be a bawling mess. We don’t want me to look like I smoked a bunch of weed.”

“A cute bawling mess, that I love very much.”

“I love you too. Speaking of weed though, do you remember when we used to sneak out and get super baked on the roof of the clubhouse?”

“I remember one time my dad caught us, and then asked if he could join.”

“Oh my gosh! I remember that. We were so scared we were in deep shit. I was like 13!”

“You were about to cry and beg him for forgiveness. And he just said as long as I know you’re safe, and you save me some. Just don’t tell your mother I let you.”

“I miss him, Jax. It’s been 10 years, and I think about him every single day. He would have loved Sophia.”

“Me too, baby. But I’m sure he’s proud of us and glad that we ended up together. He used to joke with your dad that we would grow up and get married.”

“My dad hated you, Jax.” I laughed. “That is why he said he would pay me NOT to marry you, anyone but you! Do you remember when he tried to set me up with that Hale kid?”

“Baby, he changed his mind about me by the time he died. He realized even before we did that we would be good together.”

“I wish he could see how far I’ve come. You, Jax, helped me get his far. Sophia and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.”

“Actually, I think you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the dead guy i found in my bed with his pants down, but I’m glad you came back.”

“I’m glad I did too.” I smile.

“We better get back to Gems.” Jax says.

“Yeah. We should get back, eat dinner, and help Sophia pack.” I reply.

“I think we should repaint and decorate before we move in. Get new furniture and the works.” Jax says, holding my hand over the console.

“What color do you want to paint, Jax? Gonna spend your days doing outlaw stuff and your nights painting your house?”

“Yep!” Jax laughs. “I don’t know what color I want the rooms but we for sure gotta paint Phia’s room purple and Abel’s room blue.”

“Abel should get a racecar room, he loves race cars.”

“He’s still too small for the racecar bed, Ari.”

“I didn’t mean the bed. I meant the theme.”

“Okay. The guys can help and I’m sure Gemma will help with furniture. You know how much she loves design.” Jax says.

“Yeah, her and I are going to be busy.”

“She can probably help with the wedding.”

“Baby, let’s worry about getting moved into the house before we start worrying about a wedding. Plus I want a super small ceremony if we have one at all. Just family.”

“Does that include the club?”

“Yes, Jax. They are Sophia’s Uncles. I’ve grown up with the club Jax. Hell, you can even invite OPie. I know you guys made up at Phias party. The club is family.”

“I’m glad, baby. I’m so glad you are okay will all of the club stuff. I don’t know if I could take being pulled between you and the club.”

“I don’t have another choice but to be okay with the club stuff, Jax. I love you, no matter what you do.”

“Still. I love you.”

“Love you too.” I smile, pecking him on the cheek.

“Let’s get some food in your belly.” Jax says, laughing as my stomach growls.

“Thank god!” I laugh.

“If you would eat more than once a day, I bet you’d be fine.”

“Hey, gotta watch this figure. I’m already pudgy.”

“I like it.”

“I don’t. Plus now I’m not working out and jogging as much as I was in Hershey and I’m putting on the weight. I don’t wanna be fat when you look like that, Jax.” I sigh, crossing my arms.

“There’s a gym, I can have Rat go with you if you want to work out. I like you, babe, all of you.”

“JAX! I can do things on my own!”

“The club has a lot of enemies, excuse me for wanting to keep my wife around!”

“Lyla and I can go together. We don’t need babysitters.”

“That could work.”

“It’s going to work. I’m not signing up for being followed constantly, Jax. I need space of my own.”

“Half Sac was shitty at that. He waved at Piney one time. He wasn’t even supposed to get caught. I know you need space, I just don’t want you to be alone right now. I’m sorry, it won’t be forever.”

“Jax, it’ll always be like this. I need my freedom.”

“Girl time, right?”

“Yes! And adult time, I gotta get back to work I’m going crazy sitting around doing nothing.”

“So, what do girls talk about? Sex? Makeup?”

“Sex. Periods. Babies. Kids. Wine. You name it and we talk about.”

“One time, I heard Ma talking to one of her friends about blending out eyeshadow. What does that even mean?”

“It’s harder than it sounds. It’s just making a Smokey eye like I have on.”

“It can’t be that hard. You just rub the brush back and forth, right? That’s what takes you 45 minutes every morning?”

“Don’t talk about crap you don’t know, Jackson. It’s hard to make myself pretty.”

“I think you’re beautiful without the makeup. Like right when I wake up, and youre next to me, sleeping. It makes me happy.”

“Well, thanks, baby, but I think I’d scare the kids with the bags and dark circles under my eyes.” I laugh.

“You don’t scare me. So what kind of sex do you guys talk about?”

“We compare, talk about positions, new things we try in the bedroom, and stuff like that.” I laugh.

“Do you guys have naked pillow fights?” Jax laughs.

“Oh yeah baby, especially when you’re gone.”

“Damn. Maybe one of these days I should stick around.”

“Hmmm I don’t know. I quite enjoy my naked pillow fights with my girlfriends.”

“Lylas a porn star, she does girl on girl. Bet she’d be fun to have a pillow fight with.” Jax laughs, pulling me closer to him once we are out of the car.

“How do you know that she would? Maybe she and OPie have naked pillow fights.”

“Well, I’m sure Opie wouldn’t mind you having a naked pillow fight with his extremely hot girlfriend.”

“I wouldn’t mind having a pillow fight with Opies extremely hot girlfriend either.” I laugh at the shocked expression on Jax’s face. “I always did want to experiment with girls. Never got the chance seeing as how I had Sophia, didn’t get the real college experimentation.”

“Oh, baby, we can make it happen.” Jax sighs, adjusting himself in his pants.

“Really?!”

“The thought of you with another girl turns me on.”

“Then maybe I should call Kelsey. She swings both ways. I bet she’d love to have a naked pillow fight.”

“Threesome?”

“I’m sure we could work something out.” I laugh.

“Eeeeeeehehhehhehheheeeeeee” Jax squeals like a child.

“Don’t get too excited, she hasn’t said yes. Plus who knows if she’d wanna participate with you there.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t know if she’d be down for a threesome. She tends to swing more on the female side.”

“I know a girl.” Jax says, thinking about it.

“Oh god, who? Is she pretty?”

“She is pretty, but not my type. She is definitely not into men.”

“Wait. Are you wanting to watch me have sex with a girl? Not a threesome?” I ask, confused.

“Baby I’m up for whatever but watching you with another chick would be hot as fuck.” Jax responds.

“You really are a perv.” I laugh.

“So you don’t want to?” Jax asks, disappointment evident.

“I never said that.” I laugh, walking away from him and into the house.

“Hey Gem!” I smile, walking into the kitchen.

“Hey, baby, did y’all like the house?” Gemma asks, stirring the food on the stove.

“Loved it! Actually we decided to buy it.” I smiles.

“That’s awesome baby!” Gemma smiles, taking a moment to pull me into a hug.

“Jax and I have some new to tell you.”

“What’s that?” Gemma asks, going back to stirring the food.

“We are engaged!” Jax exclaims.

“What!?” Gemma yells, turning around to look at us, huge smile on her face.

“Yeah, happened this morning. We wanted to tell you before we told everyone else.”

“I’m so happy for you guys! Y’all are going to make the best husband and wife. JT and your daddy called it, Ari. I used to tell them that Ari wouldn’t get mixed up with the likes of you but I was wrong and gladly so.”

“My daddy always did know what was best for me, whether I wanted to admit it or not. But if I remember correctly he hated Jax. When did he say that?”

“The day he died. Said if his daughter was gonna be with any club member, it should be his best friends son. He also wanted me to give you something.” Gemma said, walking over to a locked cabinet and pulling out a small box. “He bought it for your mother, but then she started using again. Said if anything happened to him, he wanted whoever was asking you to marry them to have it to ask you with. It was your grandmothers ring. I would have given it to Jackson if he told me anything about asking you.”

“I didn’t know it was gonna happen, Ma.” He says, and looks down at the ring in the box.

“I kind of asked him in a way. We were talking about me making Abel officially mine and marriage came up and it just happened.”

“Your grandma had great taste, babe.” Jax says, picking the ring up out of the box and grabbing my hand before getting .

“Jax, are you-” He cut me off.

“Ariana Elizabeth Wilson will you make the happiest biker in the whole world and marry me?”

“Of course, baby!” I scream, pulling him up for a kiss.

“Mommy! Why are you screaming in the house, that’s for outside.” Sophia says, coming into the kitchen with Clay trailing behind her, trying to catch his breath.

“Daddy and mommy are getting married!” Jax yells, swinging Sophia up and into a hug.

“Like Tommy and I did?” Sophia asks.

“Kind of, but more official.” Jax responds.

“Tommy and I are official daddy.”

“Nope, it’s not on paper.” Jax says

“I write his last name on my papers daddy. It’s official.”

“You do? Is it gonna be official forever?”

“Yep! My name is Sophia Alvarez now.” She mispronounces Alvarez. “I can’t quite say his last name yet though.”

“Jax isn’t that adorable!” I squeal.

“I don’t like it. He better not hurt you.”

“Daddy we are 6. He isn’t going to hurt me. We play on the playground together and he always lets me play with him and his friends.”

“Okay, baby.” I smile, pinching Jax’s side to make him stay quiet. “Right, Jax?”

“Yeah.” He sighs.

“Can I be the flower girl?” Sophia asks.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way baby.” Jax replies kissing her forehead.

“What about Abel?” Sophia asks.

“He’s going to carry the rings.” I reply.

“Can I hold his hand?”

“Yep!” Jax smiles. “Alright you go play with Kenny, Ellie, and Lylas son.”

“Okay, Daddy! Mommy your ring is pretty.” She smiles, running off to play with the other kids.

“Y’all are gettin’ hitched?” Clay asks, walking over to us.

“Yep, as of this morning.”

“About damn time, son.” Clay laughs, slapping Jax on the back before pulling him in for a hug.

“Did you know my dad, Clay?”

“Sure did. Not for as long as Gemma or JT though. We were both part of the original 9 but I didn’t grow up with him like Gemma and JT. But I do know he’d be happy as hell right now. Him and JT used to joke about you two all the time, once you got older though of course.”

“So I’ve heard.” I smile, hugging him. “Will you tell me about him? From what you remember? I only got the dad side of him not the person side. I wanna know who he was.”

“Anything and everything.”

“Thanks, Clay.” I smile, hugging him again.

“Dinner is finished.” Gemma says, breaking some of the sadness in the room. “Ari, you and Jax go set the table.”

“Sure thing, Gem.” I smile, pulling Jax out of the room with me. I start putting the plates out on the table while Jax goes behind me with silverware.

“This is so domestic.” Jax laugh, reaching out for me once the silverware are on the table.

“Who knows, maybe one day we will be hosting Sunday dinner at our house.” I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck, the ring catching the light causing me to smile. He picks me up by the back of my thighs, pulling me into a kiss.

“I hope we do.” Jax murmurs against my lips, hugging my body tighter to him, I wrap my legs around his hips.

“I’m sure we will.”

“Hey! Break it up in here!” Bobby yell, coming into the room.

“Bro, I’m allowed to kiss my fiancé if I want to.” Jax laughs, shoving his face in my neck making me giggle.

“Fiancé?” Bobby asks, smile spreading across his face.

“Yep! It happened kind of fast this morning but we decided to get married.” I smile, still clinging to Jax. “Put me down.”

“I don’t wanna.” Jax whines. I laugh when he puts me down.

“I’m happy for ya Jackie boy! You too lass.” Chibs says, pulling us both into a hug, followed by Bobby, Tig, Juice, Happy, Kozik, and Opie.

“I’m happy for ya brother.” Opie says, reaching out to shake his hand. Jax smacks his hand and pulls him into a hug instead.

“Thanks, brother.” Jax says.

“This is so exciting!” Lyla squeals, wrapping her arms around.

“I’m so excited!” I exclaim, hugging her just as tight.

“I think this calls for the good stuff!” Clay says, walking into the room carrying shot glasses and a bottle of bourbon. He sets them on the table before heading back to get the rest of the shot glasses and grabbing Gemma.

“To the happy couple!” Clay exclaims, raising his shot glass and clinking it with the rest.

“I’m so happy for you guys, baby.” Gemma smiles taking her shot. “Now, who’s hungry? Party at the clubhouse to celebrate after dinner?” Gemma suggests.

“Hell yeah!” Everyone exclaims.

“I say we take shots!” Lyla yells over the music.

“I shouldn’t. The last time I drank, Jax and I fought. I don’t want a repeat.”

“We are celebrating. I’m sure Jax won’t mind. Why don’t we ask him? He’s taking shots right now.” Lyla says, pointing over my shoulder.

“Well, fuck. Let’s get Gemma and get some shots going!” I exclaim.

“YESSS!” Lyla exclaims running off while I make my way over to Jax.

“Hey, baby. We going to crash here tonight? Phil offered to stay with the kids all night.” I say, as he pulls me in between his legs.

“Hell yeah! Take some shots with us?” He asks, brushing my hair out of my face.

“Actually, I’m going to do shots with Gemma and Lyla.”

“Take one with us first, right guys?” Jax asks, looking toward the guys.

“Fuck yeah!” The guys yell, Half Sac pouring the shots.

“To Ari and Jax!” Chibs yells, clinking his glass with ours before we all down the shots.

“Let’s smoke a J.” Jax laughs, standing up and dragging me with him.

“I’ll be back in a few!” I yell to Lyla as I pass her and Gemma. “Jax wants to smoke.”

“I’m having a hard time.” Jax whines, trying to roll the joint.

“Let me do it.” I laugh, taking over. “Here, you can light it.”

“I love you. You’re the bestest.” He says, reaching out to put his hand on my thigh.

“How many shots did you take?”

“I lost count, but this is where you say I love you too.”

“I love you too, Jax.” I laugh, taking a hit.

“Hey, Ari, guess what.”

“What baby?” I ask, smiling at him.

“You’re my favoritest person in the whole entire world.”

“And you are mine, drunky.” I laugh, puffing on the joint.

“I’m not drunky, but I think you’re really really pretty. If you weren’t engaged, I’d totally bang you.”

“I’m engaged… to you, silly.”

“No way! I get to bang you later?!”

“Hell yeah, baby.” I giggle, the weed making me laugh more than necessary.

“Let’s go back to our friends before they get drunk without us.” Jax says, taking the last hit of the joint and putting it out.

“Lead the way, baby.” I smile, smacking his ass for once.

“Hey, I’m an engaged man.”

“I know and that ass is all mine.” I giggle.

“Really?! Because later, I’m gonna totally bang you.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“You’re so pretty, and I love you. Am I allowed to say that, you’re engaged.”

“I love you too. Now, go back to your boys while I go hang with the girls.”

“Okay!” He runs over to the guys. “Guess what guys, I’m engaged to the prettiest girl ever!”

“He is gone!” I laugh, joining Gemma and Lyla at table, pouring myself a shot before downing it.

“Beyond gone, sweetheart.” Gemma says.

“Let’s join him in oblivion!” I laugh, pouring us all shots.

“Aye.” They yell, downing their shots.

“So, did y’all try that position I told ya about?” Lyla asks.

“No, we had a quicky the other day, but nothing much since then. What if our sexual life is dull?”

“Oh it’s for sure not, Gemma told me about the clubhouse fiasco.”

“That was only because he pissed me off. I never meant to lose the key. But, we have been talking about a threesome.” I laugh, taking another shot. The weed making me more open and the booze starting to hit.

“Jax agreed to a threesome?” Lyla asks. “He got mad at Rat for looking at you for too long the other day.”

“With another girl. But if I had my choice it would be with him and Juice. Juice is hot.”

“I know right. Something about a Mohawk and head tats just gets me sometimes.” Lyla says, Juice walking by, stops and smirks.

“Why thanks ladies! Appreciate the complements.” Juice laugh, pecking me on the head.

“What I was getting at was, there is no way a threesome would work, if Jax won’t let one guy stare at you, how's he gonna react to you having sex with someone else? Female or otherwise.” Lyla finishes once Juice walks away.

“He apparently finds the idea of me with another girl hot. I joked about you and I having a naked pillow fight and he nearly lost it.” I laugh.

“Jax has always been into girl on girl.” Gemma laughs, pouring us all more shots.

“I got that. I just don’t know how I feel about the whole thing. Like don’t get me wrong, I love Kelsey, but what if things happen? What if she’s a better fuck? I mean she’s smaller, and not as chubby, and has these fake DDs, so Jax might be more into that.

“Now that’s just crazy talk. That boy is crazy about you.” Gemma says, pouring me another shot.

“Gemma, think about it. How many times have I ever actually been WANTED like that, by a guy, that wasn’t Jax. A part of me feels like he’s only doing this because of Sophia.”

“Hey, you know Jax wants you, hell, he tells you everyday. Even if Sophia wasn’t in the picture, that boy would still be crazy about you.” Gemma smiles. “You need more shots, and we need to talk about something else.”

“Agreed!” I laugh, taking the offered shot.

“So, threesome. Have you ever been with a girl?”

“Nope. I didn’t get the chance to experiment in college since I had Soph.” I giggle, pouring us all another shot.

“Well if you need some pointers I’m down to help. I do girl on girl porn.” Lyla laughs, taking another shot.

“Yes! That would be so helpful!” I exclaim.

“What would baby?” Jax asks, stumbling over to us, joint in one hand, and a bottle of tequila in the other hand.

“Give me a hit.” I respond, puffing on the joint he put to my mouth. “Lyla is going to give me some tips for being with a girl.”

“Ohhhhh like the threesome!” Jax laugh, making me stand up and then sliding into the chair and pulling me back on his lap.

“Yep.” I reply popping the P, snuggling into him.

“And what kind of tips are you giving, Lyla?” Jax asks, smirk on his face.

“None yet, you walked over here before I could.”

“Jax, go back with guys so we can have some girl time.” Gemma says, pouring more shots.

“Noooooooooo!” Jax whines. “I wanna be with Ari.” Jax says, nuzzling my neck.

“Jax. We wanna have girl talk.” I laugh, reaching back and wrapping my fingers in his hair.

“You had time to girl talk. You can girl talk tomorrow when you get your nails done. Right now I wanna be with the prettiest girls my eyes have ever seen.”

“Oh smooth!” I laugh, Gemma and Lyla joining.

“Fine but you have to do shots with us.” Lyla laughs, pouring him another shot.

“And share that joint.” Gemma adds.

“For sure. Hey! Half Sac! Roll us another couple joints!” Jax yells over his shoulder.

“He’s not prospecting anymore Jax, you do it.”

“Yeah but he’s the best joint roller here. Even better than Juice, and Juice owns a fucking dispensary.”

“Juicey!!!!!!” I shout over Jax’s shoulder. “Jax is talking shit about how you can’t roll!”

“Hey, you little shit! Your wife thinks I’m hot!” Juice yells back.

“I do though.”

“I feel so betrayed.” Jax laugh, putting his hand over his chest.

“I’d bang him.”

“I’d bang him too, right Juicey?” Jax yells, laughing his ass off, the weed obviously in full effect.

“Threesome!” Juice yells back.

“FUCK YES!” I yell.

“We could do it right now!” Jax says, shouting a little bit louder than needed.

“You are so drunk!” I laugh, taking another shot.

“Bedroom?” Jax asks.

“Nah baby, let’s keep drinking. Juicey! Come join us, bring the joints.”

“Coming!” Juice yells, grabbing the joints and a bottle of bourbon and making his way over to us. Squeezing in between Jax, Lyla, and I.

“Light ‘em up!” I squeal, moving off of Jax’s lap and into Lylas. “We will share a joint.” I laugh, putting my arms around Lyla, while she wraps hers around me.

“Hey! Don’t leave me!” Jax exclaims.

“Here ya go.” Juice smiles, handing me the joint.

“What’s goin’ on over here?” Opie asks, walking over to Lyla and I.

“We are cuddling and sharing a joint, Ope.” Lyla laughs, snuggling closer.

“Ope, you can have my seat, I’m going to go find Clay.” Gemma says, standing up.

“Noooo! Don’t leave us Gem!” I yell, reaching out to her.

“I’ll be back, baby.” Gemma laughs.

“Fine!” I pout, cuddling more into Lyla.

“Ya know, I wanted to cuddle you, but watching you and Lyla cuddle is way hotter.” Jax laughs, fist bumping with Opie. “We both have got Old Ladies.”

“You really are drunk, Jax. Why don’t you two cuddle, Jax can be the bottom.”

“Nah, I think we will just watch you two.” Jax laughs.

“Come on Jax, get in on the cuddle action. Cuddle Juice, he’s always warm. Sophia fell asleep on him once, and when she woke up she asked where the warmth went.”

“I can vouch for that.” Lyla says. “That’s why he gives the best hugs.”

“Wait, you cuddled Juice?” Opie asks, laughing.

“I also cuddled with the prospect once, Ope. I can only do so much when you’re gone.” Lyla says.

“Rude!” Opie yells.

“Truth!” Lyla yells back

“Not in my ear!” I yell back at her.

“You are a child sometimes.” Lyla says.

“Takes one to know one.” I say back to her in a sing-song voice, wiggling around, trying to get comfortable.

“Hey, stop wiggling.” Lyla laughs.

“You love it!” I laugh.

“I think Jax does too.” Lyla whispers and laughs.

“He for sure does. He likes me wiggling on you.”

“I bet he’d hate it if you wiggled your ass on Juice.”

“Whatcha girls talking about over there?” Jax asks.

“Nothing!” I giggle.

“I feel left out of all the cuddle action.” Juice says.

“I’ll cuddle you!” I say, moving off Lylas lap and onto Juices, Lyla moving to Opie.

“Cuddle train!” Juice says, once I sit down.

“Yes!!!” I laugh, taking a drag of the joint Juice offers me.

“Now I feel left out.” Jax whines, taking a drag of the joint before pouring us all shots.

“We should move to the couches! Then I can cuddle both of you!” I yell, jumping off of Juice and pulling Jax up.

“Yes!” Jax yells, throwing me over his shoulder and running toward the couches.

“Don’t drop me!” I yell, reaching down and smacking his ass.

“I won’t! Guys, can we have the couch?” Jax asks Chibs, Tig, and Bobby.

“Sure thing, VP.” Tig laughs, pushing the croweater off of his lap.

“Thank, guys!” I laugh, Jax dropping me on the couch, plopping down next to me, Juice dropping into the spot on the other side of me.

“Pass the joint.” I laugh, holding my hand out.

“Here ya go, doll.” Juice smiles, passing it to me. I take a puff before passing it onto Jax.

“Thanks, darlin’.” Jax smiles, taking a puff and passing it on to Opie who is sitting with Lyla in the chair beside us. Jax wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his side.

“Juice, scoot closer, get in on this cuddle action!” I squeal, reaching my arms out for him.

“Okay!” Juice laughs, cuddling himself into me.

“Guys! I’m a J sandwich. Jax, Juice. Or Juan, whichever.” I laugh.

“You are!” Jax laughs.

“Lyla was right, Juice is warm!” I say, leaning more into him.

“Hey! Don’t leave me. I’m warm too!” Jax pouts.

“Fine we just have to get closer.” I pull Juice even closer to me and cuddle further into Jax.

“I love you guys!” Jax exclaims, nuzzling his face into my neck, leaving small bites.

“Jax! Stop biting me.” I laugh.

“No! You said that we are engaged, I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“Okay, but don’t bite too hard.” I laugh, exposing my neck to him.

“I love you, Ari.” Jax mumbles, resting his forehead on my shoulder and falling asleep.

“I love you too, Jaxy.” I respond, reaching back to wrap my fingers in his hair, rubbing his scalp lightly.

“Is he asleep?” Opie asks.

“Yep, he’s drooling on me, can you guys help me get him to bed?”

“Yeah sure thing, Ari.” Juice responds, pulling away from me and standing up.

“Thanks guys.” I say, standing up.

“Jax, come on man, let’s get you to bed.” Opie says, pushing on his shoulder.

“No!” Jax whines. Opie grabs his arms, pulling.

“Ari’s going to bed. Don’t you want to be with your fiancé?” Opie asks.

“Yes! I want to bang my fiancé!” Jax laughs, letting Opie pull him up.

“Then let’s get you to bed.” Juice says, putting one of Jax’s arms over his shoulder, Opie doing the same.

“Weeeeee!” Jax yells, falling face first on the bed.

“He is SO gone! He’s gonna have a massive headache tomorrow. That’s not gonna swing with the amount of energy Sophia has.” I say to Opie and Juice as they leave the room laughing. I start getting myself ready for bed before tugging off Jax’s shoes and jeans

“Let’s have sex!” Jax squeals, pulling me closer to him.

“Not when you’re shitfaced.”

“Baby that’s when it’s best.” Jax slurs.

“You need sleep, you’re going to be chasing around a 6 year old all day tomorrow.”

“I need my fiancé.” Jax says, moving to take off his boxers, succeeding.

“You gonna take your shirt off too? It’d be kind of awkward if you didn’t, seeing as you’re naked otherwise.”

“Yes!” Jax laughs, pulling the shirt over his head.

“Baby, you aren’t hard.” I laugh.

“Give it a minute. Come here!” Jax laughs, pulling me to him and kissing me.

“Jax!” I moan, pulling him closer to me.

“Ari! I really want to bang you, but I don't want to hurt you.”

“Baby, you aren’t even hard. I don’t think it’s going to happen tonight.” I say, brushing my hand over his still flaccid cock.

“Fuck! Buddy why are you deceiving me!” He yells, looking at his penis.

“Probably because you had too much to drink and smoke. Now put your boxers back on, and we can fuck in the morning.”

“This never happens!” Jax whines.

“You did come quick that one time.”

“Shut up! I never even got to make that up to you.” Jax whines, running his hands over my ass.

“We have the rest of our lives baby. Now get some sleep.”

“But-“

“Sleep, Jax!” I laugh, pulling him into me on the bed.

“Fine!” Jax sighs. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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#Jax Teller #jax x oc #opie winston #happy soa #SOA chibs #soa gemma #soa #bobby soa #tig trager #juice ortiz #Clay Morrow #gemma teller #sons of anarchy #Lyla winston