#stop asking for thousands of dollars of donations to save a cat that isn’t getting better

[turtleneckshiv]

the concept is really great but in my experience everyone who runs an independent cat rescue is batshit

#your house is so overcrowded it’s not safe #vaccinate your fucking cats! #stop asking for thousands of dollars of donations to save a cat that isn’t getting better #the last one sounds harsh but i’ve seen rescues pay thousands to treat animals i would euthanize if they were my own pet #and they don’t get better they’re just in pain

[pocket-luv101]

Summary: To raise money for the hospital, Mahiru decided to hold an auction. He was shocked when he heard a date with Kuro was an item on sale. (KuroMahi, Modern AU)

“I’m going to put this quilt up for bid. I don’t know how much money it’ll bring in though. What are you going to donate to the auction, Kuro?” Mahiru asked him. He didn’t answer him so he turned to where Kuro was asleep on the hospital bed. Usually, he would lecture him about sleeping at the hospital but he understood why he was tired. They both worked the midnight shift and he was sleepy himself.

He glanced at the time and decided that he could let him sleep a while longer. He returned his attention to the computer to update the patient files. They needed to go to the fundraiser soon. The hospital wanted to buy more books and toys for the children but there wasn’t room in the budget to do so. Mahiru suggested they organize an auction to raise the money. The doctors and nurses who worked at the hospital donated things to be sold.

When he finished the report, he walked to Kuro to wake him up. They met in university and they have been close ever since. Mahiru leaned over him and placed his hand on his shoulder to lightly shake him awake. Looking down at his relaxed and open expression, he thought it was almost a shame to wake him. He may appear distant but Mahiru knew how much he cared about patients. “Time to wake up, Kuro. We volunteered to help prepare for the auction and that starts in half an hour.”

“Can’t I have five more minutes? Troublesome.” Kuro groaned lightly as he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Mahiru’s smile and the sight was enough to clear the drowsiness from his eyes. He hid the affect Mahiru had on him and rolled onto his side. He stretched like a cat before he sat up. “So, how many jobs did you sign us up for this time?”

“Only one. We have to help carry everything into the cafeteria and put them on display. I already told everyone to keep their items in the break room so we don’t have to carry them far.” He explained as they walked to the cafeteria where the auction would be held. “Hyde offered to MC the event. He told me that you had a great donation but he didn’t tell me what it was. He said something about a surprise.”

“I have no idea either.” He admitted and Mahiru gave him a confused expression. “I forgot about picking a prize until last night. I told Hyde to go through my old things and sell anything he thinks will help. He’ll probably sell my old manga set or something. I collected a lot in high school.”

“I can easily picture you as a high school NEET huddled in your room with your manga and video games.” Mahiru chuckled. He would often tease his lazy nature but Mahiru respected Kuro. Whenever he visited his house, he would see his old photos on the wall. He cherished their friendship and the only thing he would change was to meet him sooner.

They entered the cafeteria where the other employees were already working. Mahiru picked up a clipboard that listed everything that would be put on auction. He organized everyone and helped them make displays. Kuro understood why everyone followed Mahiru since he was a natural leader with his honesty and integrity. He watched him talk with Misono before he went to help Tetsu arrange the chairs.

Soon, the auction started and everyone was seated. Mahiru sat in the crowd to record the winning bids. He hoped they would raise a lot of money to give the children. Kuro would carry the items onto the stage when Hyde described them. “Sold! The jade necklace goes to number twenty eight for $156. Nii-san, please stay on stage for our next listing.”

While he was confused, Kuro nodded to his brother. Hyde grinned at Mahiru and declared: “Up next is a date with this young doctor!”

“What?” Kuro and Mahiru yelled at the same time.

Hyde brushed aside their shock with a smile and continued. “You can take this man on a date at the five star restaurant, Arisuin. I’ll throw in this one hundred dollar gift card so all you have to focus on is romance. My brother is quite a catch. He’s a doctor and a family man. He’s a man of few words but that just means he’s a great listener. Let’s start the bidding at a hundred dollars.”

“What are you doing, Hyde?” Kuro whispered harshly to his brother but Hyde’s smile never faltered. He heard people start to bid. He instinctively looked to Mahiru for help but he appeared as confused as he felt. The bids got higher as he tried to think of a way to politely stop the auction. He didn’t know why Hyde would auction a date with him.

Mahiru glanced around the room. His eyes fell onto his clipboard where he had to write the winning bid. He didn’t want to think of Kuro going on a date with another person though. He suddenly felt jealous and he bit his lip. They had been friends for a long time but neither dated much. He looked up at the stage and his eyes met with Kuro’s.

His body moved before he decided what he should do. Mahiru stood and lifted his hand. “Two thousand dollars!”

“Sold!” Hyde hit his gavel on the table before anyone could outbid Mahiru. He had bided far more than anyone else did so he doubted anyone would challenge him if he tried to draw out the auction. Mahiru could feel people staring at him but he could only focus on Kuro. He wondered what he was thinking as he left the stage. He sank onto his chair and prayed that he didn’t ruin their friendship by being impulsive.

The auction ended and Mahiru handed the prizes to the bidders. His eyes fell onto the gift card Hyde had listed. He never expected a date with Kuro would be included with the gift card. He didn’t know who was more shocked by his bid: Kuro or himself. Footsteps in front of him made Mahiru look up. He saw Kuro walk towards him.

“Your brother is unpredictable, isn’t he, Kuro? Our movie night has been upgraded to a dinner.” Mahiru thought it was best to hide how flustered he felt with a casual smile. “I don’t have two thousand dollars on me but I’ll get a bank note for the hospital tomorrow morning. I was planning to donate to the children but I expected to buy a vase or something.”

“I’m going to give my brother a very long lecture about selling me for charity. You’re better at lectures so you should give him one as well.” Kuro picked up the gift card from the table. “Thank you for saving me from a date with a stranger. You can take this gift card and go out with whoever you want.”

“Oh, I…” Mahiru’s words trailed off because he didn’t know what to say. He felt as if he was being rejected by Kuro and his eyes fell to the ground. He would rather have a simple dinner than go to a fancy restaurant but he thought it would be fun with Kuro. Since the time they were classmates, Mahiru had a crush on Kuro. He never voiced those feelings because he didn’t know if he felt the same.

He didn’t take the gift card and said: “It’s okay, Kuro. Maybe you should take it. You know that I’m single and I can’t think of anyone I would take to such a fancy restaurant. It’ll be a shame for this gift card to go to waste. Also, Hyde told me he already made a reservation with the restaurant for two. Who would you take to dinner?”

You, Kuro thought but he didn’t say the word. Instead, he said: “Maybe we can auction this off a second time. I doubt we’ll get more than a hundred dollars from it though. It doesn’t make any financial sense to spend more than what’s in this thing.”

“Yeah,” Mahiru chuckled lightly but it didn’t hold the same brightness he loved. “I should give all this money to Misono since he does the accounting. I have something I need to talk to him about. You should go on your rounds.”

Mahiru was certain that he read the same sentence five times. Every Friday, he would watch a movie with Kuro but he assumed he would be at the Arisuin with a date. He tried to distract himself with a book but his mind would drift back to the auction. He was jealous with the thought of him dating someone else but he gave him the gift card in the end. At least, Kuro had the option to go out with someone he liked instead of a stranger.

There was a knock on the door and Mahiru set his book aside. He answered the door and he was met with flowers. Kuro lowered the bouquet and he could see how surprised Mahiru was. They knew each other well so it wasn’t often he could surprise him. “Have you started dinner yet? I have a gift card that we can split. It’s enough for both of us to have dessert too.”

Mahiru didn’t respond to him immediately since he was still slightly confused. He had pictured him coming to his door with flowers before and he wondered if he was dreaming. Kuro also wore a dress shirt which he rarely saw him in. He took the bouquet from him and lifted the petals to his nose. “These are beautiful, Kuro. But, why me?”

“When you asked me who I would take to dinner, I didn’t answer you. I was afraid about what you would say if I told you. We’ve been friends for years and I don’t want to ruin that.” Kuro took a daisy from the bouquet and tucked it behind Mahiru’s ear. His hand lingered in his hair and stroked his bangs from his eyes. “This morning, you cancelled our movie night.”

“I thought you would have a date.” Mahiru admitted. He didn’t want Kuro to see his frown so he turned away from him. He took a vase out of the closet and filled it with water. “Did they cancel on you?”

Kuro’s hand wrapped around his and Mahiru looked up at him. They stood close to each other and Mahiru could see the different shades of red in his eyes. His eyes softened and he said, “I didn’t have a date. I couldn’t imagine anyone I would take to such a fancy dinner but you. Will you go out with me, Mahiru? I’ve had a crush on you since our first study session and you cooked me ramen.”

“Really?” Mahiru blushed. Then, he smiled and rose onto his toes to kiss his cheek. “On our first study session, you made me fall for you too. I would love to go out with you. Just give me a minute to change into something more appropriate for a fancy restaurant.”

#servamp #kuromahi #sloth pair #mahiru shirota #servamp kuro #servamp hyde #fanfiction #wingman Hyde strikes again

[terapsina]

what you gon’ do (when there’s blood in the water)

Summary:

“You’re going to put all the red, red rubies back inside her chest or I’m going to bleed them out of you instead.” Alice singsongs, eyes pointedly sliding sideways.

Batwoman is unconscious and bleeding out in front of her clinic, with something that looks like the length of an arrow sticking out of her stomach. So Mary's got a homicidal villain and a potentially dying vigilante on her hands and… wow, she really regrets not drinking that fifth cup of coffee.

/or/

The obligatory ‘Mary finds out Kate is Batwoman in the most stressful manner possible’ fic.

---

ao3

---

Most times Mary doesn’t mind having long days, she would never have made it through almost two and a half years of medical school, let alone added running an illegal clinic to her resume, if she couldn’t cut it on four hours of sleep and power naps all over the place - well, if she could add that to her resume without promptly landing across the desk from her head of the Crows step-father as he just sat there... and stared, silent and furious, or worse... called her mother.

But most days aren’t today. And today she’s been up since 4 am because of an attempted bombing at a housing complex in the poorer part of Gotham. The bomb itself hadn’t hurt anyone - Mary heard that apparently Batwoman had jumped on it, taking the brunt of the explosion with her body armor - but the evacuation had caused a panic and there’d been a stampede.

Which meant that those hurt that had the means probably went to Gotham Central Hospital. And those without health insurance who couldn’t afford to pay two thousand dollars or more for a broken arm, went to her. So yeah, it’s 2 am of the next night and she’s running on four cups of coffee and one ten minute nap six hours ago.

She considers if she needs another cup to get through getting home but decides that would probably bite her once she’s in her nice warm bed, lying on her Egyptian cotton sheets and can’t close her eyes.

Mary’s actually almost out of there when there’s three neat knocks on the metal doors of her clinic. Mary stops in place, - her bag almost over her shoulder - and groans aloud. Or sobs, it might have been a sob.

She drops the bag and walks for the door, reaching it, she lightly hits her head against the cool metal before gathering enough strength of will to actually open the door.

If no one’s dying she might kill them herself.

-or - and she might just be spit-balling here, a hysterical corner of her mind chimes in - she might be the one who’s about to die.

The person on the other side of the door is Red Alice and tonight she’s really seemed to have earned her name, because she is covered in blood.

Mary opens her mouth for what promises to be the loudest, most high pitched, blood curdling scream in her arsenal when Alice moves and slams her palm over Mary’s mouth, the other one lands on her throat, squeezing - just slightly but Mary gets the message.

“Quiet like a mouse, my dear. Cats are on the prowl and we don’t want them on our tails.” Alice snaps at her, eyes flashing.

Gasping and trying to think past the terror, she tries to remember where she’d put the gun Beatrice - the mother with no insurance and a son with a severe peanut allergy - had given her after the last time Alice had directed her attention toward Mary. But it’s locked inside the drawer of her desk, and her desk is in the other room. There’s no way she’s getting to it before Alice does whatever she came here to do.

“What... what do you want?” Mary rasps out as soon as Alice’s left hand leaves her mouth - her right is still dangerously close to a carotid artery. She doesn’t want to think about exactly how fast Alice can go for one of those knives she likes to play with so much any time she drops a video message for Gotham.

“You’re going to put all the red, red rubies back inside her chest or I’m going to bleed them out of you instead.” Alice singsongs, eyes pointedly sliding sideways.

Mary’s eyes follow her and land on a second person she hadn’t noticed in her initial terror over seeing Gotham’s most wanted. Though the fact that the woman who’s slumped against the wall a few feet away is wearing all black might have helped conceal her in those first moments, now though Mary can’t look away from the shock of red hair lying in a mess around her masked head. The identity of the body is unmistakable.

Batwoman is unconscious and bleeding out in front of her clinic, with something that looks like the length of an arrow sticking out of her stomach. So Mary’s got a homicidal villain and a potentially dying vigilante on her hands and... wow, she really regrets not drinking that fifth cup of coffee. 

Mary’s mind is blank with confusion, - exhaustion - the scene just doesn’t make sense. Since the Batwoman’s appearance months ago there’s been dozens of reported clashes between her and Red Alice in the news. 

“Why would you want me to save Batwoman?” She asks, her heart - which had already been running - feels like it’s just picked up even more speed and is well on the way to beating its way out of her chest. 

She tips a bit forward to get a better look, still careful of Alice’s uncertain motives, and the door she’d opened moments before slides open a little wider. She knows that Alice says something then but she doesn’t hear it past the buzzing in her ears, the light from the doorway has moved and landed on the lower half of Batwoman’s face.

“Oh, God.” Mary gasps and pushes Alice away, no longer caring about the threat she brings to her. “Kate!”

In a moment she’s on her knees beside her sister, assessing the injury. Penetrating trauma to the upper right abdomen. She’s breathing but Mary can’t get at her pulse, the armor that somehow hasn’t protected her from whatever happened is instead getting in the way of Mary’s attempt to get at a pulse point. She doesn’t like how cold her face is to the touch though.

“Kate!” Mary tries to rouse her, slapping her lightly at the cheek. “Kate, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?”

There’s no response. All her years at med-school have taught her how bad that is. Kate needs a hospital, she needs... she- Mary takes in the picture Kate makes and falters. She can’t take Batwoman to a hospital, which means she can’t take Kate to a hospital. Because if Kate is Gotham City’s new vigilante then the moment she gets identified she’ll get arrested, and getting arrested will get her killed.

For a moment Mary doesn’t know what to do and then her eyes land back on the murderer on her clinic's doorstep.

Alice is standing frozen, looking at Kate with a dazed expression, like reality isn’t really sinking in yet.

Two months ago this woman sent someone to kill her. And Mary would like nothing more than to get as far away from her as possible but right now she’s the only person around who can help Mary save Kate. Which is clearly a sentiment Alice shares or she would never have brought her here in the first place.

Smothering all other instincts Mary does what she has to.

“Help me get her inside.” She orders.

Alice doesn’t react, still staring at Kate.

“Alice.” Mary tries again.”We need to get her inside, Alice! Alice! Beth!”

That seems to have finally done it, because she lurches down to her knees to grab Kate by one of her arms while Mary goes for the other. Together they hoist Kate to her feet and start dragging her inside the building.

“How do you take this off?” Mary asks a minute later as soon as she has hastily disinfected the surface of the table she’s planning to put Kate on. First though they need to get her out of that armor.

As soon as Alice starts undoing something behind Kate’s back Mary joins her. They manage to free her from the costume without jostling the arrow too much and then finally Mary can see what she’s dealing with.

Kate’s pulse is steady but weak, which indicates she’s gone into Hypovolemia but she’s not quite in danger of her heart stopping. Yet. She needs a blood transfusion.

First things first she grabs two pairs of surgical gloves and throws one toward Alice. “Put those on!”

“Bossy.” Alice says and tut-tuts at her. Normally that would call for a more involved response but she follows her instructions so Mary just throws a hurried glare at her and lets it go.

As soon as their hands are covered by the latex gloves she pours some more of the disinfectant over them and then guides Alice to place her hands over Kate’s abdomen, carefully encircling the arrow in a way that makes sure it doesn’t move.

“Put pressure there.” Mary says and turns to run toward the back of the room to get her blood transfusion kit, she falters as she remembers Kate’s blood type. She doesn’t have any B negative blood and she’s fresh out of the O neg. She spins back around. “What’s your blood type?”

“What?”

“Your blood, do you have the same type as Kate?” She snaps, irritated at the delay of this conversation. At any other time she’d be far too terrified to yell at a known killer, right now she’s far more terrified of watching her si- watching Kate bleed to death.

“Yes. I think so.” Alice says.

“You think so, or you’re sure?” She asks, voice harsh, she’s moving again taking the kit and starting to unpack it so that if she gets the answer she needs she’s ready to do her job at once.

“I’m sure.” Alice says and her voice hardens with certainty. “We got tested in school. B negative?”

Mary exhales in relief and moves to insert the needle in Kate’s arm. Then she does the same to Alice and tries not to think too much about it.

Saving Kate’s life first. Figuring out how to survive the night in case Alice still plans to finish the job she started by sending her ax-happy boyfriend after her? Later.

---

The next half an hour had turned into a hectic rush of removing the arrow from Kate’s abdomen - which luckily hadn’t penetrated as deeply as Mary had feared - and replacing her lost blood with Alice’s before it became too dangerous for the donation to go on, and Mary was forced to replace the blood with a saline solution.

Getting the arrow out might have turned into more of a struggle than it would have been if the arrowhead had gone out her back but at least it had avoided piercing any of the major organs. It hadn’t actually even nicked her large intestine which is good because Mary doesn’t think she could have fixed that.

She’s already done more tonight than she’s entirely comfortable with doing inside the sub-par facilities available, actually. Or, you know, with still having a year and a half of medical school left to go.

And Red Alice is still only a few steps away from her.

Though at least now that she’s donated so much of her blood to Kate she should be woozy enough that Mary might be able to knock her out if the situation calls for it.

And Kate is stable.

Which means Mary’s mind is pulling back from the emergency mode of ‘Kate is dying’ and switching gears to ‘Kate is Batwoman’.

Which she hadn’t told Mary. Despite the fact that they’ve spoken more in the past two months than they had in the past five years combined, or the fact that Mary had thought they might actually have been starting to build the relationship she’d given up on ever sharing with her, or the fact that Kate knew Mary’s big ‘go-to-jail-if-ever-found-out’ secret but at no point even hinted at her own.

A secret that Alice obviously knew. Because of course she did, because somehow a mentally unstable villain was more trustworthy than Mary.

The feeling blooming inside Mary’s chest is ugly and unfair, there’s a dozen other reasons for why Alice might have found out Kate’s secret, it’s also a feeling Mary’s very familiar with.

She’s been envious of Beth for almost twelve years. Not because she wanted to steal the affection Kate had always held like a torch in wait for Beth to come back, - or because she wanted to replace Beth - but because she’s always wanted to share in that affection.

Because she’s never heard Kate call Mary her sister. Not even her step-sister. Even when Kate had cause to introduce someone to her it would never be: ‘This is Mary, my stepsister.’ it was always ever and only ‘This is Mary, our parents are married.’

It had never failed to make something sharp twist inside her chest.

Enough. She needs a distraction from this pointless carousel of feeling not quite good enough, so she turns away from Kate and moves toward the discarded pieces of the suit that was left at the side of the room once they’d gotten it off Kate.

Something about the front of it catches Mary’s eye. The black armor isn’t pristine with one hole on the suit’s frontal side like she’d guess would be the case if it got hit with some kind of armor-piercing arrow - are those a thing? Because she’s heard rumors about Star City.

The suit looks damaged, bent inward and cracked in something almost like a spiderweb pattern. There’s jagged almost melted looking spots on it, especially around the lower torso. It looks as if... - her mind jumps back to what she’d heard from a few of today’s patients, about Batwoman jumping on top of the bomb.

“What exactly happened?” She asks before she can think better of attracting Alice’s attention.

“What always happens.” Alice says from close behind her. Mary forces herself not to jump out of her skin. “A lucky shot by a pathetic mouse on a bad, sad, mad day and the bat fell down. Oh well, you live, you learn, you chop a few heads tomorrow.”

Alice is a bit unsteady on her feet but not as much so as Mary might have hoped, and that intense focused stare is back on her face. The focus entirely on Mary.

Mary knows not to flinch. Besides, there’s something almost familiar about Alice’s eyes, they’re angry and wounded and lonely. She sees Kate in them, which she guesses means she’s seeing Beth in them.

She’s just not sure if that’s very good or very bad.

“What are you going to do?” Mary asks. Or starts asking because there’s the sound of a broken glass pane hitting the floor and shattering from a room above them. The building is abandoned. That’s why it’s perfect for Mary’s purposes. Somehow Mary thinks it’s too much to hope that some homeless animal has found itself wandering onto the property.

“Oh. I love a mouse trap.” Alice says as she throws back her head with a smile. Then she grabs Mary’s shoulders and pulls her closer. “Go make sure Katy-Kate is all tucked in and hiding behind the Bat, okay? I’ll be right back.”

And then she’s gone.

The first thing Mary does is pocket the thing she’s been trying to get her hands on without being observed for the past half an hour. The second thing she does is go for the costume. There’s no way Mary has enough time to dress Kate back into Batwoman but she doesn’t need to put on her the whole thing, just the mask. And that she does quickly enough.

Kate looks ridiculous and Mary mourns the fact that she doesn’t have time to take a picture - not that she could anyway, with all these hackers rising up from shadows recently, both the villainous type and the plain gross ones.

She’s finished by the time the ominous silence that’s been covering the clinic since Alice left, gets broken by something heavy and soft hitting something wooden.

She leaves the room and then knocks a closet filled with clean linens over the doorway, quickly she makes sure it’s jammed in place so that if anyone tries to move it to get inside at Kate, Mary will be able to hear it. Then she runs toward the sounds of laughter and smashing glass and breaking furniture from one of the inner rooms. Which tells Mary she probably knows where Alice and their uninvited guest is.

The room the fight is taking place in is the one where Mary had moved all of the too damaged furniture coming with the building. It wasn’t a neat place to begin with and now it looks like a hurricane has gone over it. 

Alice is grinning, teeth bared and trying to remain standing by one of the walls. She’s also pale and breathing too hard, the blood she’d donated clearly finally catching up with her. There’s one of Mary’s scalpels in her hands and a smashed lamp by her feet.

The man is with his back to Mary on his knees, arm bleeding. And he’s reaching for the hunting crossbow by his feet.

Mary doesn’t so much think as react as she grabs the closest heavy object at hand - another old lamp that wouldn’t turn on - and smashes it over the guy’s head.

He drops like a particularly heavy stone.

“Are you okay?” Mary asks on reflex and lets the lamp fall out of her hands to the floor.

“You know, I think I might be starting to like you.” Alice says at her, though her smile hasn’t lost its savage look, there is however a hint of actual interest in her eyes. Mary shudders, she’s not sure if that’s actually better. Then Alice’s eyes go back to the unconscious man Mary’s guessing shot Kate, and all hint of humanity drops from her face like she’s a snake shedding the skin that doesn’t quite fit. She takes a step for the man, the scalpel in her hand twisting around with a play of fingers and Mary panics.

“No, stop!” Mary says and rushes to stand in front of Alice. “You don’t have to kill him. He didn’t see Kate. I’ll have some guys drop him off somewhere in the morning and make an anonymous tip. He’ll be arrested, he’s not a threat anymore.”

“Really now? And how will you do that, he’s gonna wake up any minute now. And we can’t have that, now can we?” Alice says, eyes still intent on her target.

Mary’s face hardens, her hand going into her pocket. Then she turns around - turns her back to Alice, a panicked voice in her head adds - and drops to her knees to inject the liquid from the syringe she’d been hiding, into the man’s bloodstream.

“He’ll wake up when I want him to wake up. And no one’s murdering anyone inside my clinic. It’s off limits.” She says and gets back to her feet.

Alice just stares at her, her lips pressed in irritation, the look on her face that of a child that’s being told there’s no sweets for dinner.

“Fine.” She snaps. “I’m not going to kill him here.”

“Good.” Mary says, dropping from her protective stance. Relieved that she doesn’t have to risk her life to protect a man that almost killed Kate. Her eyes move down to the scalpel Alice is still playing with. “Can I have that back now, please?”

“No.” Alice says and tilts her head sideways, looking at her with thoughtful eyes. “Mine now.”

She opens her mouth to argue but then closes it, all things considered a scalpel is probably the easiest of the stuff she’d used up tonight to replace and she doesn’t want to risk setting Alice off.

“Be a dear, tell my sister I won’t always be there to pull her wings out of the fire. And don’t sing to Daddy’s crows, I wouldn’t want to have to come back.” She says and makes the scalpel vanish into one of the pockets of her blue coat, before twisting dramatically on her heel and starting to walk out of the room and away from both Mary and the room Kate’s still in.

“I wouldn’t do that.” Mary yells toward Alice’s turned back and almost adds how Kate’s her sister too. What holds her back is not so much the potentially suicidal results of those words as the fact that Kate would probably disagree. 

She wouldn’t say it, Mary knows that much at least, but she’d think it and that’s painful enough.

After Alice is gone Mary turns around toward the knocked out and drugged man and sighs. “Now, how the hell am I gonna move you?”

---

It takes another hour before Kate starts stirring.

In that time Mary has managed to drag the man into the room and wrapped up his bleeding shoulder - though she’s left him on the floor by one of the walls, which as far as she’s concerned serves him right... even if it had more to do with there being absolutely no way for her to lift him up onto one of the old spring-mattress beds than anything else.

She’d also taken off Kate’s mask again now that the threat of her being identified as Batwoman was over, and made herself that cup of coffee she’d decided against before she’d been so rudely interrupted from going home.

She hears Kate groan and walks over.

“Drink this.” Mary says and passes Kate a glass of water as soon as she opens her eyes and starts trying to get up. Then she puts an additional pillow under Kate’s head to help her stay upright. “You’re dehydrated.”

“Mary?” Kate asks, shaking her head as soon as she’s downed the water. “What are you- what happened?”

“That guy over there shot you with an arrow and then Alice brought you to me.” Mary says, nodding toward the man in question. “I patched you up.”

It’s then that Kate’s face flashes with fear and Mary has to look away. “You don’t have to worry, I’m not going to tell anyo-”

“Did Beth hurt you?” Kate interrupts Mary’s attempt to assure her that she wouldn’t betray Kate’s secret.

“What?”

“Beth. Alice. She didn’t try to hurt you did she?” Kate asks, real worry coloring her voice. Mary just stares at her, chest tightening with something painful but... not.

“Oh, no. I mean she kinda scared me half to death at first 'cause Red Alice and all that blood, duh, but- no, she didn’t hurt me.” Mary says and consciously stops herself from reaching up to rub at her neck, Alice hadn’t really choked her, though she knows her skin well enough to know that by tomorrow there will be visible bruising there anyway.

“Good.” Kate says, but her eyes are still running over Mary like she’s cataloging every hair out of place, just to make sure it’s true.

Mary doesn’t quite know what to do with Kate’s uncharacteristic reaction. So instead she changes the subject.

“Yeah,” she says and her eyes slide sideways to the unspoken elephant of the room. “So, don’t take this the wrong way but I really need Batwoman to not be here by the time it starts getting light outside.”

She sees Kate flinch from the corner of her eye, as she too finally notices the Batwoman costume and maybe only now puts together all the pieces to realize exactly what Mary knows now.

For a moment Kate says nothing. Then she looks like she’s weighing something and coming to a conclusion. 

“It’s okay. Luke can come pick me up, honestly I’m pretty sure he’s already freaking out, I wasn’t exactly supposed to go on a patrol yesterday. The suit’s kinda of a mess right now. ” Kate says with a shrug and then visibly regrets it as she winces and clutches at her stomach. “I just hadn’t thought it was so much of a mess it would let a low speed projectile through.”

“Yes, I’m guessing that’s what happens when people jump on bombs, Kate.” Mary quips back dryly.

“Yeah,” she says, “about that.”

“We can talk about that later.” Mary says and then hands her another glass of water and two tablets of pain medication. “Drink that down. I’d give you some for later but you can afford to buy your own, and I’m already running low.”

“What about him?” Kate asks as soon as she’s followed Mary’s instructions and nods toward her would-be killer. “He’ll tell the cops where he’d tracked me to to cut a deal, or he’ll tell his friends.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine, I’ve got guys in prison.” Mary assures her.

“You’ve got guys in prison.” Kate says, a wry twist to her mouth.

“It’s not what it sound like, okay? It’s just that, well, for some of them I’m the closest thing to health insurance their families have, so I’m like... officially off limits.” Mary says and feels an embarrassed blush rising to her cheeks.

“Wow.” Kate smirks.

“What!?” Mary can’t help snapping, irritated and recalling all the times Kate made her feel smaller just by looking at her.

“My little stepsister really is the Meredith Grey of Gotham’s underground.” Kate teases her fondly, though her smile has slipped a bit and then drops completely at the sharp breath that catches in Mary’s throat. “What?”

“Nothing, you’ve just never- it’s nothing.” Mary says, swallowing back the sudden and inexplicable tears threatening to build up and drop down her cheeks. She feels like Kate has just punched her in the chest, except somehow it’s simultaneously the warmest feeling she remembers having.

---

The next time Mary sees Kate is a day later when she shows up at Mary’s apartment carrying takeout from the Mexican place around the corner.

“I thought we should talk.” Kate says when Mary opens the door.

“You should be in bed.” Mary disagrees but lets her in, honestly she was kind of expecting her to come around, especially after she read today’s front page article.

“I’m fine.” Kate says.

Mary rolls her eyes and snorts.

“I sewed up your stomach yesterday, you needed a blood transfusion. You’re really not.” She guides her to the living room to sit down on the couch. For a few minutes there’s a semi-comfortable silence as Mary sets up the dinner Kate brought over onto the table.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was Batwoman.” Kate says as soon as Mary has sat down beside her and started on her quesadilla.

“It’s okay.” Mary says but doesn’t quite meet Kate’s eyes, she’s not lying but it still kind of stings. “I wish you would have trusted me but I get it.”

“It wasn’t about trust, Mary.” Kate says. “I didn’t want to put you in unnecessary danger.”

“Well can you not put yourself in unnecessary danger either, please? I’d rather avoid as many future visits from Alice as possible.” She says and unconsciously starts playing with the colorful silk scarf around her neck.

“So I take it you saw the article.” Kate sighs.

Mary’s eyes flicker toward the newspaper with a grimace.

“You mean the one about how Red Alice broke into police holding and killed a suspect found through an anonymous tip before he could be questioned? Yeah.” She says, a stupid guilty feeling bubbling inside her chest cavity. “She said she wasn’t going to kill him at my clinic, I should have guessed she meant that literally.”

“It’s not your fault, Mary.”

“Right.”

“It’s not, you shouldn’t-” Kate says and then freezes, eyes zeroing in on Mary’s hand, the one running nervously over the scarf covering her neck. “What’s that?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” Mary tries but isn’t all that surprised to receive back a glare, so she sighs and removes the scarf hiding the bruises in the shape of a hand-print.

“I though you said Beth didn’t hurt you.” Kate whispers, voice upset.

“She didn’t... much. I was gonna scream so she-”

“That’s not an excuse, Mary.”

“I know. It’s just that all things considered this time went a lot better than last time, There were no axes for one.” She tries joking to lighten the mood, it doesn’t seem to work. “And she said she might actually be starting to like me now.”

If anything, Kate looks even more worried at that.

“Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too.” Mary nods, it had felt like Alice had forgotten about her in the past two months and now she has a bad feeling that’s no longer going to be the case.

Feeling like she needs to move on to a lighter subject she winds the silk back around her neck and grins a bit forcefully at Kate.

“So, you’re Batwoman then, how did that happen?”

---

After that, their dinner is pretty uneventful. Kate fills her in on that whole vigilante business, though Mary’s pretty sure she’s still keeping something back. She doesn’t fail to notice how in Kate’s retelling of finding Batman’s secret lair she never actually mentions any specifics.

But they do talk and it’s not that different than it’s been since Kate had come back to Gotham and they’d started actually hanging out sometimes, like how actual sisters might. They jump through topics, covering criminals Batwoman has taken down and patients Mary has patched up, the local barista Kate has been flirting with and the fellow med-student who's been hitting on Mary. She mentions the message Alice had wanted to convey to Kate and then they move back on to some lighter subjects when Kate's mood plummets.

Eventually it’s getting late and Kate starts getting ready to go home... well, hopefully home. Or at least not out to patrol the city. Kate’s definitely not healthy enough for that yet and Mary doesn’t see how the Bat costume could have possibly gotten fixed this fast.

But before Kate can leave, Mary impulsively jumps forward to hug her. Squeezing her older stepsister for all it’s worth - though she’s careful not to put pressure near her abdomen. “I’m glad you didn’t die.”

“Mary?” Kate says but doesn’t try to pull back, which means Mary doesn’t feel like she has to either. It's not the first hug Mary's ever shared with Kate but it's the first one where Kate hasn't initially frozen, which puts this as the best hug she's ever gotten from Kate.

“Yeah?”

“I know I’ve never said this, and that I should have but I’m gonna say it now. I’m glad our parents married each other. I’m glad that we’re family.” Kate says and squeezes Mary back.

“Well, duh.” Mary says and covertly tries to wipe away the tears before Kate can get the chance to see them. “I’m awesome.”

#batwoman #mary hamilton #kate kane #beth kane #batwoman fic #hamilton kane sisters #kane sisters #red alice #fanfic #my fic #family: i’m the good sister #family: kate x beth #i maybe shouldn't have posted this when all of the americans are probably asleep #damn time zones #p.s. i edited the fic to comply with the new information about how long mary's been in med school

[sagamemes]

podiots sentence starters, part i.   contains 143 lines of dialogue collected from episodes one through three of the vidiots’ fortnightly podcast podiots. i’ve edited some lines to fit roleplay better, and randomised the order. contains two mentions of violence against nazis---last two sentences on the list, if don’t want to see it---feel free to change those into your muse’s in-universe equivalents, as well as edit anything else needed to fit your muse’s mouth or life better.

❝ after my dad showed me that, i never trusted him again. ❞

❝ that’s actually an explanation for a lot of ghost sightings, carbon monoxide poisoning. there are symptoms that cause like hallucinations and feelings of dread and fear. ❞

❝ i would be called chocolate thunder, and i’d wear a cape. ❞

❝ would you just get over it? i was a kid! ❞

❝ it was just this weird rag doll girl who happened to be in a bikini just falling, forever. ❞

❝ is there ever not a sexual element to it?! ❞

❝ well, you’ve clearly never met a salaried genie who’s on a retainer. ❞

❝ you’ve had your money taken. ❞

❝ i just want people to pay attention, for fuck’s sake. ❞

❝ you guys are really into your obscure shit. ❞

❝ it’s a bit like class tourism, isn’t it? ❞

❝ that’s what i was saying, this is---this is probably not legal. ❞

❝ you asked to bring weird things. ❞

❝ boy, do i hate facebook! ❞

❝ to be fair, her balloon animals are quite impressive. ❞

❝ jesus, why aren’t you on neopets yet? ❞

❝ you can’t always afford the homemade stuff. and typically, there’s less of it. and sometimes it’s not very good. and you’re paying a premium! ❞

❝ i’m so fucking over [thing]. to be fair, i ruined it for myself. ❞

❝ he’s just some time traveller, fucking with them with a fucking mp3 player. ❞

❝ what the fuck is a ‘num noms’? ❞

❝ so it’s a miracle that [name] didn’t asphyxiate himself as a child, and it’s amazing that i didn’t have some kind of cardiac issue almost immediately in my late teens. what do you bring to the table here? ❞

❝ i’m a big fan of weird gameboy stuff. ❞

❝ i’m like that rabbit from alice in wonderland. tiny, and late, and white. ❞

❝ it’ll make you terrified of ever going to a hotel again. ❞

❝ i like watching it but it’s not teaching me anything. ❞

❝ no, i don’t think there was any bubbles in it. ❞

❝ what do your mums think about what you’re doing? ❞

❝ gho-mophobic. that was a really difficult pun. ❞

❝ should we just start it? should we just go without him? ❞

❝ not that i could out-style you in any capacity. ❞

❝ i shouldn’t have asked for a horse. ❞

❝ our problem was nobody would take us seriously. ❞

❝ i’ve spent months trying to explain the job to her. my old job, she kind of got that, but now... ❞

❝ about halfway into the first [food] i went ‘oh... this is a lot of food’.---/i ate it all/, and then i felt sick for the rest of the sunday. ❞

❝ you were skirting around it, but if you ask me, directly, that’s what i’m going to say. ❞

❝ say a ghost laid a ghost poo on the floor, does it just stay there forever? ❞

❝ do you have an answer to this? because i’ve never given /any/ thought... ❞

❝ i’ve heard somewhere you can do that now. ❞

❝ my mum thinks you’re very funny, [name]. ❞

❝ no, that was all you. every penny, all you. ❞

❝ not the reason i was there, but it was a nice benefit. ❞

❝ stop. i mean---don’t stop. but /stop/. ❞

❝ [name] is the kind of man who’s so rich, he thinks a can of beans costs two thousand dollars. ❞

❝ just before going/coming in, my taxi driver said ‘oh, be careful, people get stabbed around here, bye!’ ❞

❝ be aware that this is /not/ a donation to a charitable cause. ❞

❝ i just do shots of olive oil. ❞

❝ no wonder he’s so fucking weird. ❞

❝ get a big old truck, for all that junk inside your trunk. ❞

❝ you’re not supposed to put cotton swabs in there, let alone a lit flame. ❞

❝ fuck you... [name]. i’m gonna... suck. your dick. ❞

❝ i’ve admittedly grown more bold with my culinary disgusts. ❞

❝ my chocolate shotgun, it’s a legally non-threatening weapon. ❞

❝ you did look very smart. very respectable. ❞

❝ everyone’s pulled the legs off a daddy longlegs, but that’s just like level one, that’s where you leave it. ❞

❝ see, that just sounds like batman. ❞

❝ i forgot that was the origin of this. ❞

❝ i feel like there’s something in the air. ❞

❝ there’s cosplaying and dressing up, and then there’s furries. ❞

❝ obviously, he--i mean i say obviously, like it’s /logical/, but... ❞

❝ if they did that, it’d be a lot more convenient for me. sometimes, it’s not the end of the world, is all i’m saying. ❞

❝ i am a freak. i have hands and feet, and if you’d saw me, you’d be petrified. ❞

❝ they have a meal deal which is like [£40/€45/$55]. and you get like a 25" square pizza, like seven garlic breads, and several ice creams. i could never make a dent in that, but the idea of it sounds very sexy. ❞

❝ well, he’ll be back soon! ❞

❝ you know, like a hammer throw---if i tied a string around it, i think i could throw a ps2 pretty far. properly like, swing it around, lean against it, do a spin. ❞

❝ day to day... i don’t eat breakfast. ❞

❝ we’re trying to be on everything, that’s our goal. ❞

❝ my finishing move would be called the ‘fuck you.’ ❞

❝ but i could never do that, i've got stuff to do! ❞

❝ i like dad rock. ❞

❝ if you’re having a party, i’m going to tell you what to do. ❞

❝ she looks far more normal than i expected. ❞

❝ i asked metaphorically, not physically. ❞

❝ i asked for some ___. we got about fifty. we only needed five. ❞

❝ there’s still time to save this american icon. ❞

❝ there were two [job title]s in there, who were like, super young and sexy men with really nice hair. ❞

❝ it’s read like it’s a documentary, not like ‘haha, and then he died!’ ❞

❝ i don’t want my lampshade looking at me! ❞

❝ give him something to do, he’ll be quiet, [name] and i can go to the shops and talk about where our marriage went wrong. ❞

❝ you don’t need to look at the front. usually, you’re behind ____. if he’s got a nice arse, that’s all that matters. ❞

❝ what’s your favourite cereal? ❞

❝ i’m just saying---sometimes local shops are shit. ❞

❝ i don’t think if you know this, [name]---i think you do, because you told me. ❞

❝ you take kids to a mcdonald’s, they’ll play at mcdonald’s. ❞

❝ you exist and then you don’t. ❞

❝ [name] is going through some financial issues, by which i mean, it’s fucked. ❞

❝ that’s a bit morbid. ❞

❝ i was thinking about ____ earlier. yeah, it crosses my mind at least like once an hour. ❞

❝ i had a great day, we went outside for lunch, i got gelato, it was great! ❞

❝ the tabloids loved the story. ❞

❝ you have to be really confused. ❞

❝ i really wanted to include h. h. holmes in this list because he’s my favourite murderer. ❞

❝ we’re not journalists, we’re just idiots on the internet. ❞

❝ it’s not the kind of name you gloss over. ❞

❝ ‘how did it get there?’ this is a /talking mongoose/ and you’re wondering how it got there? ❞

❝ is he a cat?! ❞

❝ i bought a replacement [name]. ❞

❝ i grew up in a village that didn’t even have a supermarket. ❞

❝ he was just---he was borderline abusive in my own house. ❞

❝ that’s gonna take you forever! ❞

❝ okay, well, i’m uncomfortable, what are we doing? ❞

❝ we’re not like... ‘i think i can make a joke about fighting your mother while playing a game’. we don’t know that well. ❞

❝ he’s like a genie, we only get one wish per day. ❞

❝ you take a drink and then you’re like ‘i don’t wanna drink too loud’ so you end up taking a tiny amount but then you don’t want to swallow too loud so you sort of inhale it a little bit and you’re like ‘i can’t cough, i can’t cough’... ❞

❝ now, [name] just heard that i wanted the attention and instantly decided he needed it instead. ❞

❝ we’re in dire need of new shelves. that money is going straight to shelves. ❞

❝ i never played ____. i kinda missed that train. ❞

❝ i could do the face for free. ❞

❝ it’s immediately feeling very warm in here. ❞

❝ presumably, this guy owns a lot of toys, so num noms is a thing. ❞

❝ i think that’s just a [region/state] thing. ❞

❝ let’s play a game called ‘how many people did they murder?’ ❞

❝ who is getting out of this room alive? ❞

❝ it’s like that song about the grandfather clock. ‘and it stopped, short, never to go again, when the ooold maaan died’. ❞

❝ [in the tune of new york] you’ll get punched in yoouur face. ❞

❝ don’t---don’t entertain his odd nonsense! ❞

❝ i don’t like people! i want my own space! ❞

❝ that’s something i always found really fascinating, like just wanting the username ‘batman’. how early would you have to be just to be ‘batman’? ❞

❝ you can’t complain about something disappearing if you’ve not been using it. ❞

❝ oh yeah, i always go to the dentist and get my brows done. ❞

❝ i loved [old place], and [this place] is also very lovely, it’s just a lot more expensive. ❞

❝ it’s a shame. just a couple of months longer and you would’ve had some employee rights. ❞

❝ there is a very good balloon elmo in this picture. ❞

❝ so, with all of this, what do you think the result is of this kind of upbringing and toxic relationship with your mother? ❞

❝ yeah, think about that. maybe we don’t like you. ❞

❝ they're’s so comfortable, i could almost fall asleep. ❞

❝ could you take this bottle of water, pour it in the sink, fill it again, and bring back to me? ❞

❝ it’s a sex number, i like it. ❞

❝ so what did the police do?---return him to [person]. ❞

❝ i wish /my/ mum thought i was funny. ❞

❝ okay, that’s gonna be interesting, having someone with a blade on my throat. ❞

❝ they can fire me if they want! they can fire me! ❞

❝ i don’t know why i said ‘basically’ like i’m about to explain how the internet works. ❞

❝ before, i had---there’s a shame element, isn’t it? you don’t want to do it because you’re afraid of judgement. ❞

❝ at one point, he had me squatting barefoot in my own bath. ❞

❝ eventually, we’re just gonna have to buy a storage locker for all this stuff. ❞

❝ i’ve got quite a sizeable list, i won’t talk about all of them. ❞

❝ how did we become the internet goblins we are today? ❞

❝ are you allergic to a.i.? ❞

❝ at least this is something you’re self-aware. if it was something other people had picked up on... ❞

❝ we have yellow and black, kind of a barry b. benson inspired look. ❞

❝ i was very disappointed at like eight when i found out they weren’t called ‘the food fighters’. ❞

❝ oh yeah, kicking hitler and shooting nazis is a lot of fun. ❞

❝ i’d love to throw a bop it extreme at hitler’s face, is what i’m saying, and i could do it from a long distance away. ❞

#rp meme #sentence meme #rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #starter meme #category: ask #category: sentences #podiots #* meme. #* sentences.

[bestfluteninja]

actual things my teachers have said

these are all legitimate quotes from my teachers the first semester of my freshman year of high school, recorded verbatim. i’m dead serious.

“I know how to make a shank out of a toothbrush”

“Color it a light black”

“I don’t do nature”

“You sound like a French mattress commercial”

“Don’t ever use Wikipedia in English. They get twitchy.”

“It’s important! It’s noodles!”

“We have all kinds of deserts. Have you ever been to Utah?”

“Heck yeah, I can hook you up with candy”

“You might just die”

“If you took a scan of my brain, the math part would be all shriveled like a walnut”

“I think I’m allergic to hurricanes”

“Is there not some actor you have a crush on?”

“I could verbally beat someone down within an inch of their life”

“It’s only donated if you’re dead”

“Isn’t he the prettiest man you’ve ever seen?”

“She’s, like, a queen”

“When I saw a Disney castle I wept”

“I’m getting the feeling that you like this class so much you want to take it again”

“Matching is not a skill that is actually useful”

“Now the ne and pas sandwich has lettuce”

“We’re not gonna be doing anything school-related”

“Mosquitoes are like, ‘I’m harmless, UNLESS I HAVE MALARIA’“

“I accidentally said ‘shit’ to my seventh graders”

“Memes are like a fine...grape juice”

“I’m always out for them French memes”

“How does one get the Despacito song out of their head? Asking for a friend”

“Lowest score wasn’t even failing? Fantastic? I’m not used to this?”

“I hate that Tom Brady’s that good. It just eats away at my soul”

“Death is not the most pleasant subject”

“Leave that one in the dust”

“She is going to drink...grape juice”

“We’re not going to Europe with that chalk-covered heathen”

“They were fascinated by mercury. It’s a liquid! It’s a solid! Ooh, it’s both!”

“What I’m going to give you is something I’ve stolen”

“Last year we had a Putin fan club”

“Tu t’appelles background person number one”

“We’ve got a field trip to the outside today”

“I have three pairs of thousand-dollar roller skates”

teacher: “Forty years ago, my high school Spanish...” student: “Can you speak any of it still?” teacher: “...muy poco”

“This brings me physical pain, then and than”

“I can blame texting for the capitalization”

“We’re in Indiana, where we’re lazy with our speech”

“ASS”

“Don’t tell me if you’ve never seen Star Wars. I don’t want to know that about you”

teacher: “Any drinks?” student: “Bourbon” teacher: “Wouldn’t that be nice”

“I don’t believe in dinosaurs”

“If you break my lead, I will come to your house and yell at you”

“It’s raining extra credit”

“What’s that sugar that’s powdered...pOWDERED SUGAR”

“I’ve got cats, I don’t need cute”

“I haven’t screwed up today and I don’t want to at 7:12 a.m.”

“You can imagine little highschool me. Probably scary”

“Let’s keep our expletives food-related”

“I spent way too much time looking up gifs of bunnies washing their faces”

“She overthrew her brother because she was smarter than him. Notice how I smile when I say these things?”

“I might come by and tap you on the head and say ‘oh, my child’“

“You are educated people”

“You’re just learning all kinds of things today”

“Don’t play with snakes”

“People love that, when you tell them you’re smarter than them”

“Command me to do something school-appropriate”

“Die! Yes! Fantastic!”

“I can spell Becky however I want”

“Who just said ‘what are reflexive verbs’ because I will see how far I can shove this chalk up your nose”

“I don’t tend to shop in the fashion mall, way above my pay grade”

“Someday I’m gonna get in trouble for statements like this”

“Out of nowhere, she turned and asked me, ‘do you know where I can get a goat?’“

“You live in an apartment above a storefront. You can’t go butchering a goat”

“I don’t want to waste a bunch of iodine. It’s expensive”

“If you’re outside during a tornado, what are the opportunities? The opportunity to fly”

“I bought a finger puppet because that’s who I am”

“I can connect with children because I am a child”

“C’mon, Google, we’re buds”

“Go for the jugular”

“You’re not rude, Logan” [logan leaves the room] “HE’S SO RUDE”

“I have a master’s degree in how to put the screen up and down”

“I’m taking your grade down with me”

“Yes, bring a calculator and a fondue machine to class every day”

“Woman, yes, that’s a word”

“Hell is empty because Satan is a physical therapist”

“Sit in chairs, that’s what they’re for”

“There was whimpering...”

“You are limited to what you can accomplish in life if you have poor grammar”

“I’m not allowed to flip students off, right?”

“You can’t BS your way through an AP test”

“Your inhibitions are what prevents you from climbing on a table in the lunchroom and singing the national anthem”

“These ladies will throw themselves in front of a bus to save cursive”

“It’s the same snowman, but he’s holding a knife”

“You gotta laugh or you’ll cry yourself to sleep every night”

“No one’s gonna say ‘equal’ or I’ll have to hurt myself”

“I am not a beach person”

“Santa isn’t real”

“Kill is one. Drink is another. I might be doing both. We’ll see how this goes.”

“That was where we talked about rhubarb, and constipation”

“I need two indentured servants to help me”

“Watch this: ass”

“Tomorrow is Mongol day”

“And then lots and lots of peasants”

“Slicing is the most effective”

“It’s the Mongols! They’re coming!”

“There’s no science to green bean casserole”

“The North Atlantic is treacherous. Just ask the Titanic”

“Either way, the women were screwed”

“Using numerous sports analogies”

“Stop just saying things, think about them”

“Always talk about death in your essay”

“Fight me. How about that, children?”

“Whoever’s denying children insurance should die”

“Don’t go home and get me in trouble”

“You do not know what pot brownies are”

“When life hands you deodorant, laugh at it”

“I’m not certain about a lot of things in life, but I can tell you this is gonna be okay”

“Stop fighting! It’s Christmas! Santa is watching!”

#school #public school #mine #teacher quotes #funny #humor

[isearchgoood]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

via Blogger https://ift.tt/2NgtucR #blogger #bloggingtips #bloggerlife #bloggersgetsocial #ontheblog #writersofinstagram #writingprompt #instapoetry #writerscommunity #writersofig #writersblock #writerlife #writtenword #instawriters #spilledink #wordgasm #creativewriting #poetsofinstagram #blackoutpoetry #poetsofig

[nutrifami]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[lakelandseo]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[gamebazu]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[thanhtuandoan89]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[drummcarpentry]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[evempierson]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[epackingvietnam]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

#túi_giấy_epacking_việt_nam #túi_giấy_epacking #in_túi_giấy_giá_rẻ #in_túi_giấy #epackingvietnam #tuigiayepacking

[daynamartinez22]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[bfxenon]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[theinjectlikes2]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

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