#tbf i did cry in her office | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

itsmymeaningoflife · 3 years

Note

Wanna hear your bullshit hehe

Hehe you asked for it. I’m gonna drop bullshit from the first half of s3 here:

- They really chose a 12 yo boy over grown women to raid the house wtf

- Carl’s crush on Beth is fucking adorable

- “While the others wash their panties let’s go hunt” Daryl darling you need to scrub your ass too

- Rick might have been a bit of a control freak in this era but at least he’s putting himself on the line over the others

- Carol almost shooting Rick bit being totally unbothered by it is hilarious

- Noticed that Daryl always keeps his distance but is always following Carol

- BACK RUB SCENE. Daryl providing physical contact and low-key also surprising himself with it is so adorable. The flirting, the innuendos *chef kiss*

- Daryl and Carol have a healthier relationship than Rick and Lori at this point. And they DEFFO sleep next to each other around the fire every night they were in the road

- The prisoners were wasted tbf. I wish they kept Oscar around as part of the main group for a few seasons. He could’ve shown the audience that not all people in prison are evil.

- Daryls obsession with not sleeping in a cage is deffo routed in trauma. He probs got locked in places as a kid

- Beths unflinching optimism / naive outlook is so pure and I love her. Damn 14 year old me for hating her

- “Not for one second do I think you have malice in your heart” YES LORI IF THAT DOESNT SUM UP RICK GRIMES IDDK WHAT DOES

- Twd really said “wow maybe we need more POC in our cast” and while they had the right sentiment they probably shouldn’t have made them all prisoners either :///

- Also Daryl taking the lead with the prisoners and being the main one to talk to them / reason with them despite Rick being a police officer is great. Give me a fic where Daryl is a youth worker

- Beth putting Carl in his place when he goes off at Lori is strong woman supporting strong woman energy

- Loris death scene makes me sob. Maggie is a real trooper in this scene too.

- Omg Daryl when he finds Carols bloody scarf and think she’s dead after they see T dogs body. He’s heartbroken that he thinks he’s lost one of his only genuine friends.

- Rick finding out Lori is dead is heartbreaking but I’ve seen too many memes of that scene to not laugh.

- Rick goes insane and Daryl immediately steps up. “Nope we’re not losing another one. Not her.” Organising a run. Pulling Beth aside to tell her to watch over Carl. We really see his leadership jump out real early.

- If Maggie wasn’t in a relationship with Glenn from the get go people would’ve shipped her with both Rick and Daryl

- Daryl seeing the “sofie” hand hurts. He really thought he was going to be the one to bring Sophia back. He believed she was alive

- DARYL WITH BABY JUDITh calling her ass kicker and sweetheart… bro my heart can’t take it. Also interesting when Carl suggests names he chooses Sofia and Carol first and the camera is focused on Daryls face.

- Daryl visiting carols grave at sunset and gently placing a Cherokee rose down and tenderly touching the cross is enough to make a grown man cry. He is deffo confused with what his feelings are and why he’s so upset that she’s gone here

- Daryl telling Carl how he was allowed to play out with other neighbourhood kids when Merle was gone and they chased a fire engine on their bikes and it ended up going to his house and his mom was dead / burnt down. Heart breaking. Trauma bonding over dead moms

- Give Daryl a child 2020 (jokes in s10 HES a chaotic sigle dad of 3)

- Daryl finding Carol knife HURTS. His voice is so wobbly and he’s so angry and he keeps the knife and he sits stabbing at the floor working himslef up to put her down. THEN HE FINDS HER ALIVE AND HOLDS HER CHIN AND CARRIED HER BACK HES A HERO

- Michonne and Rick locking eyes murderouly through the fences like damn what a way to kick start a romance

- Carl was the first to help Michonne my heart. And the way Rick hauls her over his shoulder with ease BRO… then he pours water over her boobs? Not sure why but hey I don’t question true love

- Daryl is so dramatic “hey Rick, come in here” “everything alright??” “You’re gonna want to see this” *leads everyone to carol*. He couldn’t just tell them he found her alive. I love his dramatic ass

- RICK AND CAROLS FRIENDSHIP IS everything. Also I’ll forever be salty about how we never got more of carols reaction to loris death

- Daryl calling Carol a POOR THING when he explains to everyone. Sir you are tender

- Michonne calling Maggie “the pretty girl” then one breath later calls the govener “pretty boy” is massive bi wife energy

- Rick and Daryl threatening Michonne like they won’t be tripping over themselves to lay down their life for her come season 9

- I fucking hate Merle so much. But he can’t comprehend that the group will be there to save them. He just doesn’t understand how to care for other people

- Daryl and Oscar could’ve been great friends

- Rick leaving 12 year old Carl in charge of the prison A* parenting

- Milton is the token chaotic gay scientist of twd change my mind

- The governor can rot in hell for what he did to Maggie I hate him

- Daryl sees a dead dog and makes a lassie joke? I’m sorry but this man is so funny

- Maggie said “men always have been and always will be trash”

- Axel being sleazy around Beth after Beth tells him she’s 17 and Carol immediately swooping in to protect her is PEAK MOMMA BEAR ENERGY.

- Okay but their heist to get glenn and Maggie back was elite

- The conflict on Daryls face when he realises Merle is around and his deperate voice when he’s asking Rick if he can go find him hurts my HEART

- RICK TELLING DARYL “I need you. Are you with me?” And Daryls soft “yeah” voice THAT IS THE MOMENT DARYL REALISED HE WAS APPRECIATED.

- OSCAR DESERVED BETTER. RIP KING

- Carl and beths friendship is underrated.

- Gov really thinks penny is still in there huh

- Everyone referring to Carl as “the man” is hilarious but also so concerning

- I forget how on odds Rick and Michonne were at the beginning. The original enemies to lovers

#caryl #rick x michonne #richonne #daryl x carol #the walking dead #twd #carol x daryl

111 notes · View notes

sapphicbookclub · 3 years

Text

Author Spotlight: A. L. Lester

Today I’m happy to spotlight another author whose book we’ll get a chance to read in our book club! And with that comes a history lesson about heroic women, so read on to learn more!

The Fog of War and three books about women medics in the First World War

Thank you so much to Laura for having me here today for a guest post! I’m doing a bit of a blog-tour talking about the characters, settings and the history behind my new release, The Fog of War, and the bookclub is one of the stops. The book is the first of a new trilogy in my Border Magic Universe. It’s a sapphic, historical, paranormal, romantic mystery set in rural England in 1920. You’ll be able to find the other posts listed on my website as they come out this week.

The main characters in this book are Dr Sylvia Marks and her friend Lucille Hall-Bridges. They’ve both spent the First World War at the women’s hospital at Royaumont Abbey, in France. Firstly, let’s clarify… that’s hospitals staffed by women. Not hospitals FOR women.

At the beginning of the war, Dr Elsie Ingles, a Scottish doctor from Edinburgh, went to the War Office in London and offered them her services and that of some of her female colleagues. She was told to ‘go home and sit down’. She didn’t do that. Instead, she went to the French Red Cross and asked them if she could set up an entirely women-run hospital in France. They bit her arm off, basically, and gave her organisation the use of Royaumont Abbey, fifty miles outside Paris. They did excellent work, particularly in treating gas-gangrene, and all the positions from ambulance drivers to surgeons were filled by women. There’s an article about it here and there’s also a book. It was hard, dangerous and dirty work, from setting up the hospital in the almost derelict abbey—that lacked electricity when they moved in—to operating under fire.

Sylvia made a brief appearance in an earlier novella of mine, based on a doctor my grandmother remembered from her Edwardian childhood. Writing a book with her as the main character meant I had to work out more about who she was; and giving her a war-work background seemed to come naturally.

I was also inspired by the Endell Street Military Hospital, run by Dr Flora Murray and Dr Louisa Garrett-Anderson (daughter of Elizabeth Garrett-Anderson, the first woman to qualify as a doctor in England). They ignored the British military machine entirely, went to the French Red Cross straight away and set up a small hospital in Paris…and the War Office were so impressed that they asked them to come home and run a five-hundred bed establishment in London. Again, the Women’s Hospital Corps pretty much staffed the place themselves, entirely with women, a large number of them Suffragists.

Flora Murray and Louisa Garrett-Anderson were also an inspiration for Sylvia and Lucy. As well as running the hospital together, they were partners and lived together until Louisa died in 1923. Her gravestone concludes WE HAVE BEEN GLORIOUSLY HAPPY and makes me cry when I read about it. You can see a picture of it in this article and read some more about them and the hospital.

Once I began reading around the subject I found it very hard to stop. I came across a book called Elsie and Mairi Go to War about two women who met at a motorcycling club in 1912 and then went to Belgium and ran a first aid post right behind the Belgian lines for most of the war. Elsie was thirty-two and a bit of an adventuress—she liked to be where the action was and got involved with the General Strike a few years later—and Mairi was twenty and much more placid-seeming in the biography. I liked her a great deal—after the war she set up a chicken farm with a dear friend and seems to have been settled and happy.

To sum up…I thought I’d write a book based in historical fact with some paranormal shenanigans thrown in (because I don’t seem to be able to write much without them tbf). And I did my due diligence because if I’m going to muck about with history and add in time-travel and slavering monsters from beyond a shimmering veil and all that, it seems a point of honour to get the history-bit right. And I ended up losing about two weeks of my life reading around the subject about all these fascinating women, at least two of whom were definitely together.

It’s a pleasure to have been invited to guest-post and tell you about them!

The Fog of War

Publisher: JMS Books LLC

Editor: Lourenza Adlem

Release date: 14 Aug 2014

Word Count: 50,000 words

Genre: Sapphic, found-family, historical, paranormal romantic mystery set in 1920s England.

Content Warning: Mention of domestic violence.

The quiet village of Bradfield should offer Dr Sylvia Marks the refuge she seeks when she returns home from her time in a field hospital in France in 1918. However, she is still haunted by the disappearance of her ambulance-driver lover two years previously ,and settling down as a village doctor is more difficult than she realised it would be after the excitement of front-line medicine. Then curious events at a local farm, mysterious lights and a hallucinating patient’s strange illness make her revisit her assessment of Anna’s death on the battlefield.

Lucille Hall-Bridges is at a loose end now her nursing work is finished. She felt useful as a nurse and now she really doesn’t know what to do with her life. She hopes going to stay with her friend Sylvia for a while will help her find a way forward. And if that involves staying at Bradfield with Sylvia…then that’s fine with her.

Will the arrival of Lucy at Bradfield be the catalyst that allows both women to lay their wartime stresses to rest? Can Sylvia move on from her love affair with Anna and find happiness with Lucy, or is she still too entwined in the unresolved endings of the past?

The first in the Bradfield trilogy, set in the Border Magic universe.

Buy : Buy from Publisher : Add on Goodreads : Find on author-website

About A. L. Lester

Writer of queer, paranormal, historical, romantic suspense, mostly. Lives in the South West of England with Mr AL, two children, a badly behaved dachshund, a terrifying cat, some hens and the duckettes. Likes gardening but doesn't really have time or energy. Not musical. Doesn't much like telly. Non-binary. Chronically disabled. Has tedious fits.

Facebook Group : Twitter : Newsletter : Website : Link-tree for everywhere else

#sapphic books #lgbt books #wlw books #booklr #diverse books #guest post

29 notes · View notes

fyeahjacquelinecarlyle · 4 years

Text

The Trouble with Ian

Warning: a Jacqueline spoiler for an upcoming episode is mentioned.

Let’s start at the very beginning - as the legend goes, a very good place to start. We only saw Ian Carlyle in a handful of episodes in the first three seasons of The Bold Type, but everything we saw indicated he was a loving, supportive and understanding husband - so understanding, in fact, that, when Jacqueline couldn’t make it to their anniversary dinner due to a work emergency, he brought the anniversary dinner to her. There were never any signs of trouble in paradise, not until season 4 rolled around, that is.

This whole mess started in the premiere episode, Legends of the Fall Issue, with a perfectly innocent game of chess in the Carlyle residence. Ian and Jacqueline appeared to be having a nice and relaxing time together, reminiscing about the day they met when he encouraged his wife to “press pause” for a while on the heels of her losing her job at Scarlet. He then followed that apparently innocuous and selfless statement, which was not well received by Jacqueline (“I’m not really the press-pause type…”) with, “I wouldn’t mind going back to work.” Jacqueline’s surprised reaction told us that was definitely the first she was hearing of it. After the briefest of hesitations, she was encouraging, telling him that he should - go back to work, that is. She had barely gotten the words out when Ian said, “Ok, I’ll put out some feelers,” got up and left the room to do just that.

Looking back, that was a red flag - this wasn’t something that had recently occurred to him, or that he had been thinking about casually. It was something that he had been wanting for a long time, as he wasn’t even willing to properly discuss the subject with his wife before taking action - hell, he wasn’t even willing to continue their game of chess. He literally got up and left to try and get a job. Judging by Jacqueline’s expressions, she was quite taken aback, either by his wish to go back to work (again, it was clearly news to her) or the very eager way he was going about it. Possibly both.

Let’s also consider something else that’s important here. Jacqueline had just lost her job of a decade. A job that meant the world to her. She might not have been crying in a corner but that’s because that’s not Jacqueline Carlyle’s way of dealing - and if anyone would know that other than the audience, it’d be her husband. She was upset enough she was day drinking with her then former employee (tbf, it’s Jane, who’s more than “an employee” to her, but I digress) earlier that day, not to mention upset enough to admit to said employee her first instinct after the news of her ousting had been to brandish a pitchfork and go burn down Safford. While that was an obvious exaggeration, and Jacqueline would never resort to such (literal or metaphorical) extreme measures, it was a clear indication that she was distressed by what had happened. And did we see Ian being there for his wife, comforting her, encouraging her? Nope. Just like we didn’t see him doing any of those things while she was struggling with Patrick’s arrival and the changes happening at Scarlet back in season 3. It took Jane (once again, Tiny Jane to the rescue!) to give Jacqueline the support and encouragement she needed to keep on keeping on at the time.

All of this to say… there’s a limit to how much credit Ian gets here. As much as their life has played out off-screen the majority of the time, we as an audience mostly respond to what we actually see, and Ian being a loving, caring, supporting husband is something that was basically left back in season 1. We acknowledge and accept he’s been home, taking care of the kids, having put his career ambitions in the back burner. He gets full credit for that. But let’s also not forget that was a decision he made in conjunction with his wife years ago, as it was probably the best thing for their family at the time. The current state of affairs wasn’t imposed on him - it was something he helped decide and required his active participation.

Ian feels differently now, as is his right. He wants to go back to work and that is fine. The problem comes when this wish is communicated, acted on and expected to come to fruition in the literal space of a few days, at most (as every fan knows, time goes by sloooowly in the Bold Type verse). To review - Jacqueline working and Ian being a full time “househusband” has been the status quo for the past ten years (and something the audience suddenly learned about this season). Jacqueline loses her job for a day, at most, during which time he tells her he "wouldn't mind" going back to work, manages to get some leads…

… and then Jacqueline gets her job back! She is left scrambling - let’s not forget she’s just been informed Scarlet is going fully digital, something totally new to her and a completely new direction for the magazine. At first, she thinks Patrick will be able to help out and share the load… but then he jumps ship and she is left all alone to tackle this new professional challenge… not to mention a new, unexpected challenge in the home front--

Yes, because what we soon learn is that Jacqueline being back at Scarlet doesn’t make Ian reassess his plans, which go full steam ahead. Jacqueline continues to support her husband and commits her most egregious offense in episode 2, #scarlet, when she (gasp!) is unable to leave the office in the middle of the day to be home for their son’s tutor - which means Ian has to rearrange a meeting about a potential job (and is angry enough about it that he hangs up without saying goodbye). He’s clearly successful in his efforts to “make it work”, however, because, after a Scarlet event, he simply announces to his wife that he not only received but already accepted an offer for a job that will take him halfway across the world… to the Ukraine.

Does Jacqueline protest? Put up a fight? Put her foot down? Nope. We see her accepting his decision and finding ways to make their home and her work life work, as best as she can. We see her arranging her schedule to fit in a bon voyage luncheon to Ian and a Scarlet photo shoot, which happen on the same day.

Throughout this whole episode, we see Ian pulling faces and making snide remarks under his breath, out of earshot of his wife, who appears none the wiser about his feelings - the one exception being when Ian arrives with the boys at the Scarlet photo shoot (they’re to leave for his luncheon after). The next words out of his mouth after “Hi” are “So… ETD?”. Jacqueline, is once again, taken by surprise, this time by her husband being so anxious to leave after he’s just arrived. Everything indicates they attend the luncheon as planned, however, which means that, that day, at least, Jacqueline is able to reconcile her home and work lives, making both RJ and Ian happy…

…or does she?

That night, as Ian is packing for Europe, still sullen faced, an uncharacteristically timid Jacqueline makes a remark about a clearly favorite shirt he’s taking with him and asks if he has plans to “go out” while he’s away… to which Ian says yes, because he’d like to, and I quote, “have fun for a change.”

This is the final straw. Jacqueline, who appears to finally put two and two together, asks Ian, point-blank, how unhappy he is with their marriage. Instead of giving a direct answer, he turns the tables on her, and says, “I think about as unhappy as you… Jacqueline.” She is, once again, taken aback, and silent for a long time. All she manages, by way of reply, is a simple “Right”, and nothing else. He leaves the room.

There’s a lot to unpack here. He got a job, which is exactly what he wanted. Meanwhile, Jacqueline is willing to hold down the fort at home so he can go back to work. Why isn’t he happy? Is it because she wasn’t perfect right out the gate, unable to “share the load” the first time she had to, and he had to shift some things around to make his brand new career plans work with his long-established responsibilities at home? Is it because we were shown how much Jacqueline cares about Scarlet, at times excitedly talking to her husband about the new challenges she was facing and other times venting to him about the issues she was encountering? Is it because she didn’t appear to be sad or upset that he was leaving or ask him to stay…

…

Ding ding ding?

One of the times we saw Ian annoyed and sulking was when Jacqueline was having a good time at the aforementioned photo shoot, demonstrating her abilities at a game of flip cup to the shock and delight of Alex and Andrew. Maybe jealousy is a factor here - jealousy of how much time and energy Jacqueline devotes to the magazine and how she seems to thrive and come alive when she’s working. Maybe Ian feels he comes second to Scarlet and just can’t deal anymore.

In any event, Jacqueline and Ian’s issues appear to extend beyond his employment status. Perhaps the most worrisome part is that Jacqueline appeared, for the most part, oblivious to Ian’s misery. During these first few episodes, we’d see her being very animated and affectionate towards her husband, indicating she was not the one with the problem... he was. And the depth of his anger and frustration indicates he’s been nurturing negative feelings towards his wife for a long time now. Communication clearly is a major issue here, but as the discontent party, it was up to Ian to lay the cards out on the table and let Jacqueline know how he felt. Only then would we have been able to judge her own behavior when it comes to their issues - as it is, it’s hard to put her at fault here.

As far as Ian going back to work, the most glaring issue here is time, which is something he was not willing to give Jacqueline, who was expected to learn about his desire to resume his career, process the information and then adjust her life to make it happen, practically overnight. Such a drastic change in a family’s life should come with planning - not even short-term, but medium to long-term planning. Ian and Jacqueline are such hands-on parents that, years ago, they made the decision that one of them shouldn’t hold a job so they could be there for those kids full time, despite them having more than enough money to hire nannies and tutors to take them off their hands. Now, all of a sudden, he is more than ready to leave for Europe and not even give these children the chance to adapt to their dad suddenly being away. We know Ian was working for Rolling Stone Magazine in the US when he met Jacqueline back in the ’90s. Couldn’t he have gotten his feet wet with a local job first, that would allow him to be home for dinner most nights? It’s not as though he’s looked long and hard closer to home before accepting the Ukraine gig. Not to mention, it’d only be fair to give his wife a couple of months - hell, a couple of weeks - to adjust to her new reality at work before turning her entire life upside down. The man made it a full decade without a job - surely a few more weeks/months would not have killed him.

One can’t help but wonder what is the intended play here. One of the spoilers for season 4 of The Bold Type says Jacqueline will run into someone from her past who’ll “give her clarity about what she wants out of life”. My biggest fear is that these little moments where we witnessed Jacqueline absorbed in her work and Ian unhappy are supposed to make the audience feel bad for the “supportive” and “sacrificing” husband who put his career on hold so his wife could realize her own ambitions, and, as she is about to lose him, she finally comes to the realization that she needs to devote more of her time and attention to him and their family, or be more clear about how much they mean to her. In other words, she’s a thoughtless workaholic who needs to appreciate her hubby more and just… be better, because women can and should have it all, all at once, all of the time.

I swear to God...

Ok, ok, I’m perfectly aware I’m jumping the gun here. We’re only three episodes in, and a lot of water is about to go under that metaphorical bridge. What I described above is basically my worst, nightmare scenario. The dream scenario would be Ian having an open, frank conversation with his wife where he tells her exactly what his problem is. A conversation where he accepts fault for his passive-aggressive behavior and the way he went about going back to work, not including her in his decision making process. And I’m not saying Jacqueline’s perfect here, by any means - if anything she could’ve noticed Ian’s feelings sooner (seriously, how long has he been this pissy?). The reason I’m not nearly as hard on her is that Ian’s sins are so numerous and so egregious it’s very difficult to look past them.

I hope the show explores why Jacqueline has been so oblivious… or would indifferent be a better word? Is she content with the way things are between her and her husband? Does she care more about Scarlet than she does Ian, at the end of the day? If the answer to those questions is ‘yes’, then that’s bad news for their marriage, but all I ask is that the outcome of this storyline be consistent with the behavior of both characters we’ve seen (and continue to see..) on screen. As fans, we want - we crave - consistency. At the end of the day, a story that makes sense and does justice to the characters we know and love means more than one that has a happy ending.

#the bold type #jacqueline carlyle #ian carlyle #jacqueline x ian #jacquian #my thoughts #the bold type spoilers

37 notes · View notes

miserelysia · 4 years

Text

“I Watched the Artemis Fowl Movie and It Made Me Very Upset” Liveblog!

So I decided I had to subject myself to this movie despite being Extremely Aware that it’s a massive pile of firey garbage. It was about as painful as expected, so I liveblogged to keep my sanity. Here’s basically what happened in my head while I was watching:

Josh Diggums: I feel so bad for Josh Gad's voice because it's painfully obvious they just didn't want Olaf showing up so they forced him into some terrible Bale-Batman voice that keeps cracking

why is this movie taking itself so seriously

Book Artemis: eternally unathletic dweeb

Movie Artemis: SURFING MASTER

the fuck, Branagh

THIS VOICE IS SO DAMN BAD, JOSH PLEASE STOP TALKING

okay Artemis is appropriately a little shit for EXACTLY ONE SCENE

FUCK OFF WITH FRIDGING THE MOM, BRANAGH

"ur mom's dead and ur dad's gone so ur a little shit" WHAT A GREAT COUNSELOR

fuck's sake

Book Artemis: immediately falls off whatever this hover thing is

COLIN FARRELL. SEXY MAN.

I ALMOST FORGIVE THEM FOR BRINGING HIM BACK EARLY

AND..... KNOWING ABOUT MAGIC

SDJFKSDF

WHATEVER

I WAS PREPARED FOR THIS

this voice is still terrible, Josh. I'm sorry

this kid is a pretty good actor

"all i really want is to believe in you" that was actually well-delivered

"Arty"

OKAY IT'S NOT ACCORDING TO THE BOOK BUT FUCK ME THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS WELL DONE

i desperately need Butler to show up soon tho

I SPOKE TOO SOON

"DOMOVOI" ??!!?? YOU FUCKS

why

are his eyes

fucking ELECTRIC BLUE

HIS LITERAL FUKDFSUCING NAME IN THE BOOKS IS 'BUTLER' IT'S PART OF BEING AN INSANELY GOOD SECRET AGENT GUARDIAN HE'S NOT AN ACTUFL FUCKING BUTLER AND LITERALLY NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM "THE BUTLER" BUT HIS NAME IS BUTLER BECAUSE HIS REAL NAME IS SECRET HE'S FUCKING SECURITY FUCKING DID YOU READ THIS FUCKING BOOK SERIES AT ALL BRANAGH OR DID YOU JUSTDSJFKLDSHFSD:LFSEFAGH

i'm sorry

Butler is my absolute favorite character of the entire damn series and they fucking

can't even get OOOONNNNNEEEEEEEEE CHARACTER CORRECT

SCREAMS

did they think calling him "Butler" would be weird because they cast a black guy?????

AGAIN WHY WITH THE FUCKING ELECTRIC BLUE CONTACTS THEY'RE SO OBVIOUSLY FAKE IT LOOKS SO BAD. IF YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO CAST AN AFRICAN AMERICAN MAN JUST FUCKING OWN THAT HE HAS DARK EYES DON'T DO THIS

THE "OWL STAR"???? REALLY???? WHY NOT FOWL STAR

WHY

NOT

IT'S JUST SUCH AN ARBITRARY DUMBASS CHANGE IT MAKES NO SENSE

PLEASE DID I JUST MISUNDERSTAND THE REPORTER MAN

DID THE CAPTIONS JUST MISUNDERSTAND HIM?????

NOPE IT'S LITERALLY THE O W L S T A R

fuck off

i'm sorry

stuff like that just bothers me a lot

it makes ABSOLUTELY no sense to change it

Fowl Star made sense bECAUSE IT'S OWNED BY ARTEMIS FOWL

artemis has a lot more emotions than i remember him having

i will not forgive them for destroying the Butler/Artemis relationship in favor of a Dad they fucking fridge in the first half hour of the movie

oh boy nursery rhymes as codes

GROUNDBREAKING

i think the fairies would have something to say about you hiding their own shit from them, MISTER SENIOR

it's still a bad voice, Josh, I'm so sorry

okay Haven is pretty nice

"Haven" not "Haven City"

pretty sure

holly being a 13 year old girl is disconcerting

that was mentioned in a review

they're supposed to be Child-Sized not ACTUAL CHILDREN

also "small person = higher pitched voice" is such a stupid trope please stop

i like the Being diversity around the city

like lots of different types of humanoids

josh desperately wants to do the Olaf voice

i'm so sorry Josh

okay aside from the shit voice Diggums is pretty good

lol Cudgeon's already in jail

okay then

i know this is Opal Koboi

meh

i hate her in the books so they can fuck her up all they want

judi dench is batman too i guess

how many cigs you smoke judi root

OH BOY HOLLY HAS MISSING DADDY ISSUES TOO

fucking shit

"you're 84" and you look like a fUCKING THIRTEEN YEAR OLD

such bad choices

every time they say "Domovoi" i--

HISDFHSDHFH

JULIET

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

NIECE?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

SDFJLS:DKF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

FUCK YOU

FUCK

FUCK YOU KENNETH BRANAGH

SHE'S

HIS

FUCKING

SISTER

HIS BABY SISTER HE LOVES AND CARES FOR EVEN MORE THAN ARTEMIS AND THAT'S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIP THAN UNCLE AND NIECE

HOW COULD YOU LITERALLY DESTROY EVERYTHING ABOUT BUTLER AND STILL SLEEP AT NIGHT

eoin colfer i hope you made so much money off of this SHITSTACK

(genuinely tho that's literally the only consolation; now he can write more Good Books)

Juliet is cute but i know about all she does is make sandwiches

so fuck this

judi dench is Good

foaly is Okay

why's he wearing clothes tho

the chutes are a lot more... open than expected

BEECHWOOD SHORT THE TRAITOR

FUCK OFF

WHY IS HOLLY’S CHARACTER DEFINED BY HER FUCKING FATHER

THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE AN OUTCOME THAN I EVEN EXPECTED GIVEN THEY EVISCERATED HER CHARACTER'S DRIVE BY MAKING THE L.E.P. ALREADY HAVE FEMALE OFFICERS AND COMMANDERS

"get out cudgeon before i throw you out" okay they got Root completely right at least

aside from making him a her

but that's okay

because it's Judi Dench

awwwww happy flying scene bUT HOLLY YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SHIELDED GOt DAMN

“any update?” "yes. i'm freezing" amazing, Butler

i mean dOmOvOi

HOLLY YOU'RE STILL NOT SHIELDED

CGI isn't too bad in this but honestly that's not impressive anymore

awwwww cute wedding scene

troll is about as ugly as possible

LOL JUST FUCKING THROW TIME FREEZE UP LIKE IT'S NOTHING

OKAY

LOL HOLLY GO DEAL WITH THE TROLL DON'T FOCUS ON ONE SMALL CHILD

THAT'S NOT HOW A TIME FREEZE WORKS

i mean it's COOL

i love the little Men in Green zipping around

but it doesn't make ANY sense

LOL SO WHY DO THE PEOPLE THINK THE PLACE IS TRASHED

lol gently floating troll

Hollyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Judi Root continues to be amazing

ok tbf Opal Koboi would be after the Aculos if it existed

OP MacGuffin plots are so tired tho like really Branagh

i love the wings on her suit

ARTEMIS WHEN DID YOU GET TO THE TREE

holly ur a bad 84-year-old officer

LOL CUDGEON IS RIGHT ON

AND JUDI ROOT CONTINUES TO BE

"Not Happy!" lol wat

who wrote that bit of dialogue and said "yes this a perfectly good thing to have her say when she wakes up in a cage"

"mesmerism"

boy i love these exposition dump convos between Mr. Sr. and Arty

LOL "most human beings are afraid of gluten, how do you think they'd handle goblins" is a great line

out of touch, but still funny

...why does the time freeze take forever to generate now when you did it in TWO SECONDS BEFORE

calm down holly damn

foaly's very pretty

sO DID THEY FREEZE THE *ENTIRE WORLD*????????

I THOUGHT THE POINT WAS TO FREEZE THINGS INSIDE SO YOU HAVE MOONLIGHT LONGER

AND

whatever

i love this fucking ARMY coming out of literally everywhere

"TOP OF THE MORNIN'" OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS

whole movie is worth it

for that line

i love that they're entirely in green

and no one ever Shields

ever

they mentioned Shields once but NO ONE IS SHIELDED

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS INTO A FIGHT

SCREAMS

"TAKE THE SHOT"

WHY IS THE TIME FREEZE SO EASILY DESTABILIZED

FOALY

ARE YOU TELLING ME NO ONE HAS EVER SHOT YOUR FUCKING ENORMOUS DEVICE

omg no U GAVE OPAL KOBOI LEGITIMATE REASONS FOR DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING

YOU GAVE HER A SAD FRUSTRATING BACKSTORY

SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE AN ARROGANT SELF-SERVING BITCH AND NOTHING ELSE

TWENTY SEVEN MINUTES??????

hOW DID ARTEMIS KNOW ABOUT MULCH DIGGUMS SPECIFICALLY

lol that is 100% a completely inhumane prison what the fuck, fairies

why does Holly have human music

well i'm glad we didn't have to watch mulch almost eat a dude's head

"My father was kidnapped."

"My father is dead."

"Can I trust you?"

"You'll have to."

BUT WHY

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHAT IS THIS CHARACTER PROGRESSION

THERE's NO REASON TO TRUST HER

OR TO NEED TO TRUST HER

THIS IS COMPLETELY UNEARNED AND STUPID

glad holly's entire character REVOLVES AROUND A MAN NOW, BRANAGH

LOL THEY JUST DIDN'T GIVE ROOT A FIRST NAME???

JUDI ROOT CONFIRMED

"listen to us, grunting at each other like a pair of hippos with a throat infection" LMAO

i hope that was Josh Gad improv

LOL HE JUST FUCKING DESTROYS EVERYTHING IN HIS WAY WHILE TUNNELING

YOU DIDN'T EVEN REALLY TUNNEL IN, MULCH

HOW DID YOU COME OUT OF A PAINTING

DO THEY HAVE PAINTINGS IN A BASEMENT???

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SHEETROCK OR WHATEVER

IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO EASY TO JUST

UGH

FOLLOW THE BOOK

COME ON

MULCH YOU ARE THE WORST BURGLAR

"what would your parents be" THEY'D BE CENTAURS MULCH

is... is Mulch on the second floor

HE TUNNELED THROUGH THE WALL ONTO THE SECOND FLOOR

artemis... just.. lets holly out

ok cool

LOL HIS NOSE HAIRS GROW AND MOVE LIKE TENTACLES

stupid and... funny? i guess

at least Cudgeon is the piece of shit he is in the book lol

oh boy troll time

BUTER WOULD NEVER LET MULCH DIGGUMS PICKPOCKET HIM

"jam all magic" OMFG THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE

BUTLER WOULD NEVER LET ARTEMIS FACE DOWN A FUCKING TROLL

LOL THEY JUST FIRE THE TROLL LIKE A BULLET

A TROLL-ET

DOMOVOI YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS WHAT THE FUCK

i wonder if kids even like this movie

omg butler couldn't even jump

i don't understand

he literally DOESN'T HELP AT ALL

IT'S HIS WHOLE THING

IS BEING ABLE TO KICK ASS

FUCKING COME ON BRANAGH

yeah fuck you branagh

are... are the fairies just DYING TO THE TIME FREEZE COLLAPSE???

"goodbye my friend. i'm sorry i was FUCKING USELESS"

branagh you're trying to activate my feelings with this Sad Death Scene(TM) but i am IMPERVIOUS because artemis has had NO RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER WITH THIS """DOMOVOI"""

COOL HE'S BACK NOW I’M SO GLAD ACTUAL FULL ON DEATH HAS ZERO CONSEQUENCES NOW THANKS TO OP FAIRY MAGIC

WHAT GREAT WRITING THIS IS

"i didn't cry did i" FUCK OFF

WHY IS IT SO DANGEROUS WHEN THE TIME FREEZE ENDS

WHY IS YOUR TECH SO SHITTY, FOALY

TIME FREEZES AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE DANGEROUS TO THE OCCUPANTS

THAT GOES AGAINST ALL OF FAIRY RULES

...okay and then it just ends..........?

Domovoi: "you have to try!"

Artemis: "i can't, tho"

Domovoi: "it's too dangerous!"

WHAT IS THIS DIALOGUE

WHO WROTE THIS ABSOLUTE DRIVEL

"the aculos for my father"

THE L.E.P. DOESN'T EVEN HAVE YOUR FATHER YOU ABSOLUTE DOOF

holly how do u know how to do this

the... the aculos is just the fucking Book?

i feel slapped in the face

she just recites the words and. and.

whatever

i'm done

GO FIND YOUR DAD WHO'S MAGICALLY BACK

WHY WOULD HE BE IN THE BED ARTEMIS

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS

this girl who plays Holly cannot act

i'm sorry girl

MAGICALLY BACK DAD

HOORAY HOLLY'S CHARACTER CONTINUES TO BE DEFINED BY HER FATHER

FUCK

YOU

WRITERS

AND BRANAGH

BUTLER WOULD NEVER CRY, DOMOVOI

i like the cool earpiece they gave Judi Root to maybe? disguise her hearing aid?

Haven does look pretty cool

too much water above tho it’s not Atlantis guys come on

"i'm a criminal mastermind" LITERALLY WHEN DID YOU SHOW ANY SORT OF MASTERMIND BEHAVIOR OR CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

BESIDES BRIEFLY KIDNAPPING HOLLY AND THEN IMMEDIATELY LETTING HER OUT

LMAO THAT LAST SHOT OF JULIET JUST LOOKING EXCITEDLY OUT OF THE WINDOW AT THE HELICOPTER WHILE EVERYONE LEAVES HER BEHIND

WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT EVEN

THIS POOR GIRL YOU’RE JUST LEAVING HER ALONE

WOW THIS PRISON/INTERROGATION PLACE HAS LIKE

NO SECURITY

HI HOLLY WHY ARE YOU HERE??????

THIS WHOLE ENDING IS JUST THE STUPID CAP ON TOP OF A STUPID SUNDAE

i need to go listen to the books again now

#artemis fowl #artemis fowl movie #liveblog #spoilers #flaming hot garbage #disney seriously who the FUCK did you make this movie for #cause it sure wasn't the fans

9 notes · View notes

shy-magpie · 4 years

Text

RQG Season 3 Recap

Okay I wasn't expecting to live blog this but between them threatening to play one another and Lydia calling Zolf "sad sea dad" I have no choice but to at least take notes. Firstly did Lydia start us calling Zolf that or did she get it from us? Because either way delights me I love how she says "little did he know" "Little did they know Sasha was more dangerous than all of them put together" "Little Gambling Man?" Helen is a delight "the medium of explosion" Lydia remembers the important one Ben! Don't blame Sasha for losing the fight Lydia still remembers that jump Helen's reaction to Bryn preparing to list The Six Clues is great Lydia simultaneously sounds offended they didn't help Bi Ming more and that the fans didn't catch he was a fence who could take care of himself. Speaking for myself I thought it was clear but his breaking the law was not a priority after finding out that Sasha might have 1 decent parental figure in her life They are talking RQG dream daddy, because they do love the fandom. (you have Bi Ming and Zolf, Apophis if you stretch it, I refuse to believe anyone wants to date Salah Sr.) Did Ben try to skip his own backstory? Alex should be proud of those foreshadows/plot hooks Alex is still mad about James obsessing over the Veil of Gambling with Your Life No you don't get to skip Kew, do you have any idea how much character stuff happened there? OK Ben is fair and gives Lydia credit for saving them in Kew Lydia considers the fish puns a major plot point but they all are very clear they were at best micro aggressions (that the Cult weren't nice to Zolf doesn't excuse that) Weather and the metal tentacle need to be followed up on Bertie "rich white manned his way to France" Never getting over the journalist nearly taking them out Hoverboard wheelchair was cool I love that introducing Ed, and Newton being a redacted are the only parts of the side quest worth mentioning "Philosophy happens" I love that Brutor and Brock are the bits Helen knows It was "I miss you Sasha, why do I miss you" and broke my heart out of all proportion Ben insists its Zolf's fault Mr. Ceiling went bad "Angsted around Paris" Helen knows about Hamid crying outside Zolf's door It is a shame they didn't do the Eiffel Tower quest. Sasha tried but no back up and Alex didn't want her to do it alone Oscar started fairly awful tbf Alex had to break him for us to start caring I can't take the Zolf-Bertie fight no matter how funny they are describing it. (also I know I will never have proof but I have a pet theory Ben did that in part because they knew James was leaving and didn't want us to think "you die in the game you leave the show") "shock Helen more wholesome than James" Yeah Helen, unless you kill someone on air we aren't buy that you aren't wholesome. (I'd probably help dispose of the body before I thought to ask about her motive) Alex spill or quit taunting us "Sups evil" Alex on Kafka Bryn! It was Aziza! Ben behave! Lydia is not impressed by the Newton office plot "There was a lot of plot in that ball." Yeah I thought they refused to get into Zolf's backstory, but nothing compared to how thoroughly they eliminated that plot hook (and my brief fantasy of Mr. Ceiling Jr joining the party) Helen is the best Weird is one word for it Ben can't even get the name out for complaining about Carter Bryn quit being fair, Grizzop nearly broke the party because he couldn't listen for 5 minutes before assuming it was your idea AND that you wanted to let Salah Jr off scot-free. Azu mostly followed his lead, and Sasha was mid Barret breakdown. Apophis was great Thank you Ben, hitting Wilde in the nuts was the only thing other than the Heart worth mentioning Alex letting us see behind the curtain How did Bryn not only remember but pronounce that in one take? The near riot in Damascus deserves more time, if only for them trying to fix the economy while Alex comes up with way after way to say "the water went missing, follow the water" Ben sounds so pleased with himself for shooting Wellington Jr a bunch Lydia is really under selling how great her interactions with Barret were, but I can see where she might not want to get into it without context. "They ran away which was very rude" Bryn concerning the Squizards fleeing in Rome Oh good it wasn't just me, no one likes Eldarian Lydia is not amused about her beautiful attack being turned on her and her dagger Alex quit encouraging Azu to blame herself Lydia goes to better parties than the rest of us Hey discord shout out! "there is a lot more sadness in the real time also puns"

#Rusty Quill Gaming #RQG spoilers #RQG season 4 #live blog thingy

7 notes · View notes

tcmmysheiby · 5 years

Text

the end: tommy shelby.

authors note: requested. cold tommy with no emotion, bit of a dickhead tbf which is no surprise. please send in requests, always appreciated. i write smut anorl but those ones take a lot longer to write so bare with. feedback is always appreciated and please check out my wattpad which is @ johnshelby.

The stroll up to Tommy's front door was an anxious one, your feelings all over the place. Were you about to do the right thing? You had no idea but you did know that it would be the right choice in the future. You couldn't keep holding out for a man who didn't truly want you, his feelings only there when he was missing his late wife in the middle of the night, desperate for feeling of your skin on his so he could have some reminder of what it felt like to be loved.

Mary was the one who opened the door, immediately letting you in with a grin, she could sense that something was wrong from the booming knock on the door that echoed through the considerably large home, one too big for a man as isolated as Tommy.

You walked over to the office, not even bothering to knock on the door. It was evening at this point, the sun was setting and all you could see was the faint sunlight shining through the great bay windows and onto Tommy's work surface, the sun rays lighting him up in a handsome way. The smell of nicotine lingered throughout the room, a sign that Tommy had been chain smoking due to pressure which only caused your lack of confidence to heighten even more - Tommy in a bad mood was not a good man.

"What are you doing here?" Tommy asked, trying to remember if he had scheduled a time where the two of you could be together without any business getting in the way.

You watched as Tommy continued to flick through papers, checking over a contract that he was supposed to sign for the upcoming business meeting. It wasn't the right time to have this conversation, but you couldn't hide your feelings anymore because you were sure that it would end up killing you. "I wanted to talk to you..."

"Talk to me?" Tommy questioned as he finally looked up at you, one eyebrow raised.

The two of you never met up to talk, it was always sex and maybe some pillow talk afterwards if you got lucky. Conversations with Tommy were always plain-spoken, never about personal stuff such as family but always business and even then, he didn't give away too much, keeping his darker side away from the bedroom. The man was solid, afraid to show any emotions that could potentially portray him as vulnerable.

"Yes, talk. Is that an issue?"

"No, it isn't. I have a business meeting in ten minutes though - "

"Well it can wait because this is more important, okay?" You cut off, watching as Tommy's face twisted in confusion. Slowly you moved over to stand in front of his desk, not wanting to sit down and get comfortable. Your plan was to get this over and done with as quickly as possible, that way you could move on with your life and find someone who truly appreciated you. "I want to talk about us."

"Us?"

"Stop questioning everything!" You exclaimed with a sigh before rubbing a hand over your face. You were a shaking mess, afraid of what Tommy's reaction would be. You knew that he would act cold about it all, probably even laugh in your face for acting like a childish teenage girl who fell in love with someone out her league. "Sorry, I'm just a bit scared."

"Just say what you need to say because I don't really have the time."

Tommy pointed towards the contract causing you to roll your eyes. That was the main issue - the business. It always came before anything else, no-one could compete with it and it broke you. All you wanted was Tommy's love, you didn't want to be the person he came to when he was feeling companionless or when something had fucked up with the business. You deserved better than that - even Tommy knew that.

"That's the issue, Tommy, you never have the time. What even is this?" You angrily pointed between yourself and Tommy, looking like a mad woman as you waited for Tommy to respond. All he did was sit behind the desk and look at you with squinted eyes as he tried to figure out what your outburst was about. "In fact, I know what it is and I don't like it at all," you finished seen as Tommy was suddenly mute.

There was a scoff from Tommy as he gathered together some papers. "Don't start because I don't fucking need this."

"And I don't need this. I'm not going to carry on waiting around for you like an absolute idiot."

There was a lengthy sigh from Tommy as he placed the papers down and grabbed a cigarette for his metal holder. When it was lit, he pointed towards the chair across from him but you shook your head and stood your ground. There was so much that you had to say but you weren't ready to vocalise the words and put your feelings out there. It would backfire greatly and make you look like a fool.

"Just say it," Tommy said with a monotone voice, already bored of the conversation. It wasn't the right time, the business meeting that was looming was causing Tommy to become irritable and if he was sure that he would end up snapping at you, something he didn't want to do.

Licking your lips, you nodded your head. "I don't want this anymore, Tommy and I don't think I have done for a while," you took a pause and tried to hold back the tears, you weren't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. "You don't want me like I want you and that's fine, we can't have everything that we want. That's why I think this should end, so I can move on and find someone who does love me and doesn't just want me for sex."

Tommy tilted his head to the side before flicking some ash into the ashtray located on the desk. "I'm not the man that you want me to be, you knew that from the start. What has suddenly changed, aye? Why are you doing this now?”

He wasn't wrong, you did. Tommy was never going to be in a relationship, he still struggled to cope with the loss of Grace and you accepted that at first but as the months passed, you couldn't keep the feelings at bay. You told yourself that it would pass but with every touch and every kiss, you found yourself falling deeper for him and you soon realised that it was all going to end up in heartbreak. The only person who would end up sobbing into their pillow though was you, it would never be Tommy.

"I know and I can't change that, no matter how much I try." Leaning over, you took the cigarette from Tommy and took a long drag of it yourself. "I need to be realistic though and I need to look after myself - the only way I can do that is by leaving this behind and thinking of it as a learning experience."

Tommy's lack of words was making you embarrassed but what else did you expect from a man who didn't even open up to his own family? It would be a miracle to get emotions out of Tommy Shelby, maybe one woman would succeed in doing so but you were never going to be that girl, you were simply a distraction for Tommy whenever things got rough.

"I don't know what you want me to say. I mean, what do you want from me? I can’t give you love like you want, I can’t take you on dates and shower you with gifts and flowers.”

"I don't want you to say anything to me and I don’t want anything from you, not ever again." You stood up and stubbed the cigarette out, a soft smile on your lips as you took one last look at Tommy. "You are a good man beneath that false persona you put up for business reasons, I just wish that you would have let me see more of the real Tommy Shelby.”

"Everything that happened between me and you were real," Tommy suddenly said, stopping your feet from walking out of the office door.

Every part of you wanted to turn around and take every word that you had spoken back but you were independent and you didn’t need Tommy Shelby. A few years from now, you would look back on the relationship and chuckle at how silly it had been.

With your hand on the door knob, you glanced back at Tommy and shook your head. "It wasn't real and that’s okay. It was nice knowing you, Tommy. I hope you find someone who makes you happy.”

#peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x reader

208 notes · View notes

shooting-the-walls · 4 years

Text

The Empty Hearse: my inner monologue because I like writing these

I would just like to point out before we get going that I was rather a latecomer to this fandom. I got into it just as Season 4 was released, so early 2017. When this episode was released in 2014 I was only 10 years old!!! Still probably my favourite fandom though, the one I always find myself returning to.

Anyways, on with my crazy monologue!!

• We stan a quick rundown of the Depression of the Century

• #creepymaskmuch

• Molly be like "oh damn"

• Uno reverse bitches!!!

• Molly be like "YAAAAS"

• I'm sorry can we just acknowledge how hot the window jump is

• Bet John wished he could be Molly in that sitch XD

• DERREN BROWN MOTHERFUCKERS

• Still feel so sorry for John :(

• "BOLLOCKS"

• Greg is so fucking done with Anderson's theories XD

• "You're a guilty lil bitch Anderson, stfu": Lestrade 2k14

• "I BelIEVe iN sHErloCK HOLmeS"

• Eyyyyyyy Sherlock is not guilty!!!! (Obvs)

• When depression hits, get a (terrible) moustache bitches

• WE DON'T TRUST YOU MARY, DON'T ACT ALL NICEY NICE

• Ooooo helicopters and running, Mission Impossible style

• When you just..... give the fuck up

• When you can't stand that screaming so you just turn your music up

• I mean torture is pretty harsh man

• Of course Sherlock would deduce his way out XD

• When Mycroft just doesn't give a Single Shit

• WE STAN THE THEME TUNNNEEEEE

• John be like "nah imma just stare at this wall"

• Mycroft's got a fancy fucking office guys

• John stop tryna be Sherlock with your terrible imitation coat and scarf

• Mrs Hudson always cares for her adoptive sons, but she does with high sarcasm and sass

• Mycroft, why does your office look like a torture chamber??

• Benedict is HOT Jesus

• "Definitely. Enjoying it.": You! Don't! Appreciate! Your! Brother!

• 2 HOURS TO LEARN A BLOODY LANGUAGE!?!?! JESUS FUCK I DID 7 YEARS OF FRENCH AND I CAN BARELY HOLD A CONVERSATION

• Anthea prefers Sherlock to Mycroft, they have bitch sessions about him pass it on lol

• Mrs Hudson is so sassy and honest XD

• John you fucking liar you're not sorry

• Mycroft is so Done with his little brother XD

• Sherlock, stop personifying London dude

• "Yes, we meet up every Friday for fish and chips": Mycroft, the sarcasm is not needed

• MYCROFT TELL YOUR BROTHER WHAT HE FUCKING DID TO JOHN

• Mrs Hudson is such a fucking Queen

• "What's his name?"

• "Sherlock was not my boyfriend": YES HE FUCKING WAS SHUT UP

• "I AM NOT GAY": wow, denial is high there John

• Mrs Hudson ships Johnlock more than the rest of the fandom combined XD

• Mycroft: "oh yeah but the other wine is like so much better. Anyways, your bff hates you now byeeeee"

• I LOVE THE MUSIC IN THE RESTAURANT SCENE GEEEEZ

• Sherlock is such a fucking little twat when he wants to be lol

• "Would I suggest you look at this menus, it's... completely identical"

• THE ACCENT. THE FUCKING ACCENT. I'M WHEEZING

• The way he's just tryna be like "look at meeeeeeee" and John gives not a single fuck

• "Surprise me" "certainly endeavouring to, sir"

• Awwwwwww hey Mary

• John is such an awkward lil hedgehog

• Mary: I agree I'm the best thing that could have happened to you

John: bitch you're not Sherlock

• SHERLOCK FUCK OFF

• Oh damn. OH DAMN.

• John just having a mini mental breakdown here

• "Short version. Not dead."

• John looks like he's about to kill someone (preferably Sherlock)

• "Oh God" "Not quite"

• SHERLOCK STOP MAKING BAD JOKES ABOUT THE MOUSTACHE SITCH

• The look in Sherlock's eyes when he realises that John isn't happy to see him

• #deflectiontechniques

• HE LOOKS IN SO MUCH PAIN ON THE FLOOR BABBBBYYYYYY

• In the cafe, Sherlock just looks like a kid that's like 2 hours late home

• "You know for a genius you can be remarkably thick"

• "That's a little more difficult to explain" "I've got all night bitch"

• "Just your brother, Molly and a hundred tramps"

• I love that they end up in a chip shop XD

• John, your moustache is terrible. Accept it lol

• "One word to let me know that you were alive"

• Mary just laughing her head off in the corner XD

• Sherlock: BITCH STFU IT'S A SECRET (whilst entire chip shop is listening in)

• *headbutt*

• "I said sorry, isn't that what you're supposed to do?"

• Mary knows what's up BUT SHE A LIAR

• SHERLOCK LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO CRY WHAT A SWEETIE

• Honestly don't know why Mollie looks so shocked, like she knew he was alive

• Greg is just like a proud Papa

• "Oo you bastard!"

• Sherlock being vaguely confused/irritated by a hug XD

• BBC, can we talk about the random shot of the back of Una Stubbs' throat?

• THEY EVEN GOT ONE IN FOR THE SHERIARTY SHIPPERS, HAVE THEY JUST COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT JOHNLOCK :(:(:(

• Anderson just doesn't ship Sheriarty XD

• Think the Chip Shop Argument got spilled lol

• Mary is having the time of her life reading the blog XD

• Mary really ships the boys right from the start lol

• "I don't shave for Sherlock Holmes" "You should put that on a t-shirt"

• "SHERLOCK HOLMES GET DOWN FROM THAT SOFA OR SO HELP ME GOD--": Mrs Holmes 1983-present

• The terror alert is on critical and these bitches are just playing chess

• Ngl, missed the burgundy dressing gown

• "Oh bugger!"

• WE STAN THE BROTHERS PLAYING OPERATION

• SHERLOCK'S IMITATION THO

• Mycroft be so defensive

• "Both of us thought you were an idiot, Sherlock. We had nothing else to go on until we met other children" "Oh yes, that was a mistake" "ghastly. What were they thinking of?" "Probably something about making friends": I feel SO sorry for the Holmes parents XD

• Mycroft, I think your brother is trying to set you up with a lil someone (

• "Change the subject. Now"

• Mrs Hudson: :)

• "He's pleased to see you underneath all that--" "Which of us??" "Both of you"

• PLAY DEDUCTIONS WITH YOUR BROTHER MYC

• Sherlock straight in there with the gender equality

• Sherlock: Icelandic sheep wool bitch

Mrs Hudson: ah yes, because the world need a blog on that -_-

• THE CURLS ARE AT A PEAK GUYS

• "I'm not lonely": yes you are stfu

• I love the wink to Mrs Hudson :)

• Mrs Hudson really wants her boys back lol

• Loving the use of transitions to show how much of a dick John is being to Sherlock lol

• "Have dinner?" "Solve crimes?"

• Molly knows she's replacing John really

• "Weight loss, hair dye, botox, affair, lawyer. Next!"

• Sherlock is so gentle with the poor woman :)

• I LOVE THE OLD GUY SO MUCH LOL

• John is so fucking convinced he's right, but it's kinda sad that he doesn't think Sherlock will respect his personal space (because he never has before): JOHN SUBCONSCIOUSLY WANTS SHERLOCK THERE

• Can we just agree that Sherlock is such a sweetie and that it is heartbreaking that John is now his awful internal monologue because he's convinced he hates him after how he reacted once he returned?

• Lestrade just being a concerned dad in the background

• Molly and Lestrade are both just so spooked out

• *dramatically blows dust off book*

• HE WANTS JOHN BACK SO BAD awwwwwwwwwwwwww

• Quick aside, but I have a friend who is a train fanatic (he's coming to prom on a steam thingy) and the train dude reminds me of him lol

• WE LOVE A LIL BIT OF MIND PALACE WORK

• "Excuse you": JOHN YOU SASSY QUEEN

• John: Makin' my way downtown, walkin' fast, getting kidnapped and I fall down

• "Did you get him off a murder charge" "Nope helped him put up some shelves"

• "Do you fancy chips?": HANG ON A MOMENT. In S4E2 Sherlock states that "You're suicidal you're allowed chips. Trust me I should know". Does that mean..... oh Jesus, Sherlock, you little sweetie, you need to talk to someone

• ON PRINCIPLE I HATE SHERLOLLY BUT IT'S ALSO SO SWEEEEEEEEEEET

• *when you wake up after a night out and you don't know where the fuck you are*

• Sherlock is just immediately alert like: wtf is wrong with my John

• The chips just... don't matter, okay

• When you steal a motorbike to help your bff

• I'M SORRY BUT CAN YOU IMAGINE LIKE A 16 YEAR OLD SHERLOCK ROARING AROUND SUSSEX ON HIS LITTLE MOPED AND HIS MOTHER YELLING AT HIM FROM DOWN THE ROAD TELLING HIM SHE'S GOING TO KILL HIM IF HE DOESN'T GET HOME RIGHT NOW XD

• Ngl having the little kid right at the front is real creepy

• But like can you imagine Sherlock and John going to bonfire nights with Rosie when she's a bit older and both of them being dead tense as they watch the bonfire being lit?

• LISTEN TO YOUR DAUGHTER BITCH

• The fact Sherlock figures it out JUST as the bonfire lights up: PERFECT

• Sherlock, with a complete disregard for his own safety: *jumps into a fire and drags John out before tearfully begging him to be okay*

Hetero shippers: ah yes, what a good male friendship

• I LOVE THE HOLMES PARENTS SO MUCH

• I love Sherlock's face lol: he is SO done

• Sherlock totally resembles his mother in terms of personality

• I think the fact this is Benedict's parents makes that scene a million times better: do you think that's how he wants to act during the small talk sometimes XD

• Mr Holmes just looks so Done, and Mrs Holmes is just like "fuck it I'm used to this"

• "She worries!": well of course she bloody does, one son is the British Government, the other is a recovering drug addict who solves crimes as an alternative to getting high and her daughter is locked up in a secret facility

• "Promise?" "...promise": HE LOVES HIS MUM AND DAD REALLY

• Tbf John, you couldn't expect the poor guy to lead his parents on like that, really

• John stop making bad puns

• "Is it to get to you through me?": JOHN KNOWS WHAT'S UP

• Awwwwww he's got his John back and he's just so happy

• Aw c'mon, you've gotta admit that a bit of Sherlock's massive concern is for his brother being in parliament that night

• I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T HELP THINKING OF THE PARENTLOCK EDIT OF THE FACETIME BIT

• "Illegal!" "A bit": yeah, like this is anything new tho John XD

• "I don't understand" "well that's a first": JOHN LIVES ARE AT STAKE STOP BEING A SASSY BITCH

• *sudden flashback to the great game and the painting*

• I actually love the scene in the train carriage so much, because even though it ends up with Sherlock being a little bastard to get John to admit his feelings, I like how it demonstrates that everyone expects Sherlock to know everything all the time, and that's a very unrealistic expectation: despite the fact he hates it, he is only human, and I think this scene nicely acknowledges that

• Two bros, chilling in a tube train, trying not to freak out cos they might die!

• Sherlock: ooooopppsss, John, might have just set off this fucking bomb :/

• "Mind palace!"

• "You think I've just got how to diffuse a bomb tucked away in there!?" "YES!" "...maybe"

• Sherlock may be a little bitch but you have to admit he's a bloody good actor

• John, the whole way through the tube scene: wtf wtf wtf wtf

• "I wanted you not to be dead!" "Well, be careful what you wish for": Sherlock, sweetie, it almost sounds like you wish you were dead.....

• AWWW HE FORGIVES HIM GUYS

• I wanna know what that information Mycroft gave Moriarty was

• "His death wish": yeah, let's be honest Moriarty was just like "I crave heckety heck death"

• How difficult do you thunk Sherlock found it up on that roof, having to tell John all of that??

• You've gotta admit that it was a pretty good plan

• You can bet that all the conspiracy theories were on Anderson's wall XD

• THE GIGGLING JESUS

• "You COCK"

• "You said such nice things, I never knew you cared :)"

• "I will kill you if you EVER-" "scouts honour" "BREATHE A WORD OF THIS ANYONE"

• "Terrorists can get into a lot of trouble if they don't have an off switch"

• "Oh please, killing me. That was so 2 years ago": WE STAN

• Mycroft is just so desperate to get out of Les Mis: "but the pain. The HORROR"

• Lestrade just seems a little disappointed

• John tryna act surprised at Tom XD

• SHERLOCK'S FACE (the memeeeessss lol)

• WE STAN OUR TWO FAVE BOYS TALKING ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS

• Sherlock is just so determined

• Sherlock: oh yeah heard your graveside speech btw, super sweet

• YES THE HAT BITCHES: OUR FAVOURITE DETECTIVE IS BACK

• OOOO CREEPY MAGNUSSEN NUGGET AT THE END THERE

#sherlocks3 #sherlock #s3ep1 the empty hearse #wtf brain #brain dump

0 notes

pinksweatergettingbetter · 7 years

Text

warning, the following has mainly snarky (and possibly furious) opinions on Spirit of Justice. Reader discretion is advised.

alright... here we go. we’re starting the big one. this... thing is almost over.

we’re going back to........ kooraheen to finish this.

time to strap in for the long haul.

did Dhurke hijack the PP show or was he just watching it and he decided to make that speech at his TV

i honestly can’t tell because of the weird way the scene was set. it looks like a reflection from a TV screen, but it also fades like a broadcast being intercepted...

fuck I'm just distracted by Dhurke’s stupid voice. and uncomfortable at the actress playing Rayfa. imagine being the princess and having your favourite show turn you into a weird damsel in distress being manhandled by ninjas. gross.

also yay! they’ve got the indiana jones orb!! time to melt off some faces...

ok it was a hijacked show... ...why is there a news report on this in America? Are American troupes assisting in the Kooraheenese war?

“Daaaa-aaaad. What’re you up to thiiiiis time???”

i love how not-giving-a-shit-about-it apollo is here. and by love it i mean hate it.

oh, your long-lost adoptive father just happens to pop up on television starting a revolution, and this is the first time you’ve heard from him in like 20 years? huh, no big deal.

AND ACE ATTORNEY TURNS INTO THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW

oh noooo... he’s one of THESE guys... ururughhhhghghgh

“Wait... don’t tell me you haven’t told anyone about me, son?”

“I’m sorry, dad, it’s just you didn’t exist up until now...”

“you just show up here without warning after all this time... what gives?”

apollo’s got a point there, pa. also Dhurke’s theme reminds me of Coach Oleander’s from Psychonauts

Apollo just instinctively knows that nobody wants to be around him unless they’re getting labour out of him. That’s... honestly really depressing. I mean I know it’s supposed to be a joke but I just can’t bring myself to laugh.

its just... apollo is legitimately so bitter and sad that i just feel awful for him.

yeesh... this whole thing just started off super sour.

wait, the piano has sentimental value to phoenix? they mentioned he never practiced on it and he didn’t like being a piano player... does that mean this piano is something phoenix just happened to own, and has its own backstory? I WANNA KNOW

(snerk)

ok thats mean but it did make me laugh

the JACKET IS APOLLO’S

IT IS APOLLO’S

HOLY SHIT

the rest of this case can be total shit but at least we figured out the mystery of the discarded red jacket.

“our houseplant was called apollo”

“was it a cactus?”

“How’d you guess?”

“cause apollo doesn’t get enough hugs, either!”

apollos dad is so cool he reads his son’s personal shit out loud. what a great guy!

“That’s too bad! You seem like you’d be a fun, cool guy to hang out with!”

when he wasn’t being a rebel and not having time for his kids, obviously.

THERE IT IS!

siblings dont know theyre siblings joke is funny both normally and ironically because the writers need to FUCKIN GET ON THAT

also i love that he’s basically like “hey son, this girl doesn't resent me! you should marry her so that i can continue to get favours out of you!”

“What did Mr. Dhurke mean when he said he was the man who raised you, apollo?” i dunno, trucy... think with your mind brains...

“How come you never told me?!”

“Sorry, it’s just, capcom hadn’t butchered my backstory at that point yet.”

I honestly find it really weird that Trucy’s all chirpy about this. She of all people should know the sting of a dad just up and disappearing on you.

Dhurke: I have to steal this orb. I’m asking you two because youre lawyers.

Kay Faraday, sitting in the Capcom warehouse: (sneezes)

Dhurke: I made a stupid gamble. Hope you can bail me out, son I haven’t seen in 20 years!

nooo.... don’t bring Kurain Village into this, pleeeeaaase... I don’t want to have my favourite village ruined for meeeeee....

:3c i chose nope

i wonder what Trucy would do if Zak waltzed in and immediately asked her for a favour. tbf phoenix would probably launch him into the sun before he could set foot into the office but...

Ok... So Dhurke doesn’t actually want to fix the legal system; he just said that he wants to gain immense spiritual power which will somehow give him the legal authority to RULE Kooraheen.

how does spiritual power have any effect on land deeds anyway?

“Only the rulers of Kooraheen have ever laid eyes on the orb, Apollo”

and Ahlbi’s seen the box.

“I figured you were poor as fuck so I brought you a plate of sushi!”

ok either A) He thought so little of Apollo that he assumed he’d just be starving on the street

or B) He’s been keeping tabs on Apollo and knows that the WAA doesn’t make a lot of cash, yet he hasn’t made any attempt to contact Apollo himself. Until he needs a favour.

what a.... great guy.

what the FUCK

“here, as my second present... a PICTURE OF YOUR REAL DAD, THE ONE WHO CARED ABOUT YOU AND IS DEAD. HOORAY!”

i can tell theyre trying to do the ‘Hagrid gives Harry a photo album of his family for comfort” but its REALLY NOT THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCES.

His name was... JJ.

~as you know~

also why would a musician perform with magicians?

y’know, ive seen pictures of Jove Justice so far. and A) he looks like a tool, and B) the designers were lazy as fuck and just slapped Apollo’s hair onto Phoenix’s face. I had a pretty negative opinion of him initially. I was thinking I wouldn’t like any of Apollo’s new dads.

But you know what? If they go deeper into Jove’s backstory and prove that he was a caring father, I’m ready to completely drop any criticisms of him and carry this guy on my shoulders

cause compared to Dhurke ill bet he's a freakin angel

...welp... back to Kurain village. At least it’ll remind me of bygone days...

...heh, aw. it’s cute. i like the sparrows on the roof.

ooh! an updated theme, too! not quite as nice as the original but it is nice.

he was full of piss and vinegar

jesus

yeah, kids run around naked. its not super surprising.

“man, I miss that hut...”

apollo youre gonna make me cry;;

Ema: :) i’ll show you the way to Dr. Buff. SURPRISE, HES DEAD! AHAHAHAHHAHA

NOOO

MY SYSTEM FUCKED UP AND STARTED ME OVER FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE CHAPTER AAARGRRJHRFJ

id gone on a short break and i come back to this (weep)

...

does Dhurke have boobs..?

...or just extremely prominent pecs...

phew ok back on track.

wait hold on. if Dr. Buff is in Kurain village, where is he staying exactly? All the houses in Kurain village are old-style Japanese; this appears to be a modern day number.

“please tell me youre joking”

“as if i’d come out here for a few laughs, Apollo”

yeah but youre not above leading him to the dr’s study and THEN telling him he’s dead WTF

ahah. further proof that stepladders are superior.

i mean i know he didnt actually fall off that ladder by accident or whatever but still

“you could say he died an honourable death...”

...crushed under his nerd books like a fuckin cartoon :T

YEAH

POPS

POHLFUCKYA

“I’m so sorry... It seems you’ve had quite a life.”

Why else would she say that except that some poor dialogue translator is secretly begging the series to stop fucking up his backstory

“I mean, middle-aged man with long hair and an eye-patch? You don’t see that everyday.”

just give Valant an eyepatch

hang on. why does an archeologist in America have Kooraheen’s founding orb anyway? I thought it burnt peoples’ faces off. And was super precious. Queen Garananana doesn't seem like someone who’d just hand out a precious ball like that.

oh huh they found an ugly dalek. thats two dalek references in this game now...

did i just... have a ladder conversation about a relic that looks like an airplane.

why does everyone keep making blithe jokes about the doctors horrible death..? does that usually happen or am i misremembering

WHAT THE STATUE OF AMI AND THE URN AND THE GRAVY SCROLL ARE THERE NOOOOOO YOU GET YOUR SLIMY HANDS OFF THEM SOJ, PUT THEM BACK IN T&T WHERE THEY BELONG

god there’s even a coffee shelf. i guess this side of the room is the “Relics of a better game” section.

polly the clean freak. what a sweetheart :)

aw yeah baby

its printing time

oh yeah i forgot this version of printing SUCKS

but i do like the little pap sound it makes when you put down powder

...they have Datz and Dhurkes prints on file.

You guys sure rock at being undercover.

ill give them credit for having the Dance of Devotion not rhyme in English.

seeing lyrics again just gives me flashbacks to Serenade tho

Guitar, Guitar... Up together to the sky...

MAY-OR DE-WEY

MAY-OR DE-We

wait that has the same number of syllables if you just say the pun

PAUL-A TI-SHON

...why the fuck is he in a palanquin

anybody in a palanquin is bad news ALSO WHY DOES IT SAY RECLAIM THE GLORY OF KURAIN

KURAIN DOES NOT HAVE POLTIICIANS. ESPECIALLY NOT MALE ONES.

SOJ. SOJ WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY.

oh yeah he’s a bad guy

...king of this fine nation. First of all... America doesn’t have kings. Second of all, Kurain isn’t a country, it’s a small village. Either he’s a moron or SOJ is fucking up at unprecedented speeds

...did his theme song just ‘wheeee’

“Jerk Q. Public”

pffft

i wish you were golden boy. then you'd be morally questionable but entertaining.

I'm very uncomfortable

k so we’re back in Kurain and so far we’ve seen Zero women in total apart from Ema.

even the unnamed heckler was an old man.

is this the same Kurain Village I know?

wh- talk??

what do you mean talk???

i dont wanna talk to this guy he's a dickcheese!!!

Trucy’s 17 and she hasn’t studied politics at least a little yet? ...weird

“Its real name is the Crystal of Ami Fey”

wait what

“It’s been passed down for generations in the Atishon family”

WAIT WHAT

is he dicking around or is he distantly related to maya

or is he just totally dicking around

if so how dare he use Ami’s name in vain.

where is Datz from anyway

paul i dont mean to dash your hopes but becoming grand high emperor of kurain village will in fact not make you king of the world

datz sure is a good rebel... getting caught... and put in jail...........

damnit, Vore Machine, what am i gonna do with you?

well Apollo, from demon to deer. thats not bad.

dog-faced cop..??

if youre very sneakily referencing our old pal Gumshoe youve got another thing coming, Vore Machine. In the form of my fist.

“A shut-in? Sounds like it will be a challenge just to get a conversation going.”

yeah.... not like youve.... ever dealt with someone like that....... before....... hehe.... heh..............

how long has Datz been in jail if he already knows the cafeteria itinerary

um guys; maybe you should be a tiny bit more concerned about Athena??

i just realized the Shichishito is gold. It’s green, you idiots. Or is that one too bent and bloody for display??

thats it folks thats spirit of justice

apollo has become a living title drop

hes fuckin dead

what kind of bullets were those

yeah apollo, a fledgeling is equivalent to a private.

...also youre not a fledgeling youre near full experience capacity. this is your third... (and last...) year.

so Dhurke is in full stealth mode until it comes to a remotely operated drone that could have literally anybody on the other side? brilliant, pal.

this is why your revolution’s taken like 23 years to get off the ground, jsyk.

...k komandir?

i thought you were supposed to be a parody of The Soldier. what are you doing calling people by Russian military names? did the red scare not happen in this reality?

pfft

it’s so cute.

im struggling between finding it adorable and being uncomfortable

“in other words, something caused him to withdraw from the world...”

maybe his mom’s death??? maybe?????

does anyone in this game understand how a bad thing make a peoples’ brain go???

pretty impressive that a woman’s body could provide sufficient cushioning to soften such a drop.

lol. death attributed to random maniac. thanks soj.

“Private Justice! You’ve suffered a loss just like mine!”

“I have... and thats how I know how you feel.”

yes, i can remember exactly happened when i was a one-year old in diapers. exactly the same kind of pain and trauma.

look i know theyre trying to have a moment but there’s a huge difference between growing up orphaned and being recently bereaved. Sure, Apollo’s seen his fair share of hardship and his experiences aren’t to be devalued, but it’s not the same kind of pain as having your parents die later in your life, especially with the mom’s horrific demise.

Honestly, it’d make more sense if he brought up Clay, since Clay was with him since he was very small and his death was sudden and deeply unfair.

BUT CLAY’S IN THE PAST, CLAY DOESN’T EXIST, WHO’S CLAY?? I DONT KNOW BACK TO SPIRIT OF JUSTICE

YEAH

POHLFUCKYA DURKE

dhurke the burk amiright attorneys

“the opaque crystal orb is the key”

>needless adjective

>will come into play later in court

um so nobody’s gonna mention the blonde lady on his desktop background or........

i like sarge. i hope they dont turn sour when theyre revealed.

nice boot

ooh phosphorescence! neato!

pearl: hello I'm here to do something ive never done before to provide clues for this case. i hope i’ve been useful! thank you, and goodnight.

...as contrived as this is, i am glad to see someone who actually comes from kurain village.

wow, the gangs all here huh

so they renamed Eagle Mountain “”””mt. mitama”””” eh

nice...............

“you are at that age, after all...”

says apollo who's like 24

also why is she talking about all the women leaving the village? i thought it was the men. is this why i haven't seen any ladies? they all just shipped off downtown?? and of course there’s no mention of the creepy oppressive atmosphere and strictness of the village...

nice alliteration apollo

rain spirit at a bus stop and you hacks didnt make a Totoro joke?? lame

“Dj’you bring a light?”

“Ņ̮͔̜̬͖̝ͫͦ̄̒̀̾̆̓̀ͤͨ͋̓̈̑̂͗́ͤo̸̵͈͎̤͇̤̙̯͔̙͖̞̳̙̠̹̞̲̭ͣ́ͫ͌ͦ̒́͞ͅ?ͯͩͨ̾̅̈ͮ̉̀̌͛̆͑̚҉̧͓̠͎̠͎̀̀”

how can you not recognize a foreign voice you idiot

“He tried to fucking kill us but he also gave us this flashlight. To um... see our slow death by starvation better I guess?”

“We couldn’t get back to where we started if we wanted to”

if you wanted to??? thats exactly what you want!!!

Klavier: Hello! This is flashback Klavier here to say: Don’t you miss me? Haha. I miss existing too. Oh well! See you next time~ ...i if there is one.

DEAD

aw, lucky you! you lucked into falling to your death directly to where you wanted to go!

“Yes! Time to find that orb! When we have it, we can....rot here for eternity.”

...ok i know the doc found a way out but still

wHAT THE FUCK

THAT HOLE IS LIKE 40 FEET UP

...oh well, if phoenix can survive it, so can they..?

i love that there are various sea-related items scattered around that give an obvious way out but only yield “durr??? a sea thing??? how this get here??????????” when inspected

whats with dhurkes’ magic eyes

mmmmmmmm a slide puzzle great

“maybe the ppictures correspond to the song”

REALLY??

what is with this game and not outright stating the obvious? its not like it spoils the player or anything; it just makes the WAA look like idiots

fuck this I'm gonna finish this stupid puzzle without this game’s help or die trying

...ah. my personal need for pattern and order blinded me to the truth

oh well; it’s open now. i’m gonna smash Eshiro’s stupid smirking face with it.

“opening that box means you're the best lawyer ever! enjoy leaving the series forever!!!”

“A royal stole that orb”

stole it... as opposed to just taking it and doing whatever they want with it because it’s theirs and there’s absolutely no reason to have to “steal” it.

unless they wanted to frame the rebels i guess but like. theyre rebels. theyre already pretty hated

“it would be seen as utter sacrilege to let a foreign man study this artifact”

oh also it would debunk that whole “explodes your face if you look at it” thing

...here we go...

“he used to be a nice kid, but now...”

he’s an enourmous shitstain?

“he tried to convict trucy for a crime she didnt even commit...”

ok, apollo. there are a zillion valid reasons to hate sadmad, and yes, his reasoning in that trial was shit. but just being a prosecutor and doing what a prosecutor is meant to do doesn’t make him evil. he isn’t about to just roll over because the defendant’s your sis–– er, best friend.

he... could be playing the long game, and interfering could fuck up his plan, Dhurke. Also how was he a rebel and then somehow managed to get into good graces with the royals? It’s already been proven that Dhurke’s Dummy Dragon Gang suck at being stealthy or having any sense of self-preservation. I doubt they just wouldn’t recognize Sadmad

“it’s not conviction that fills his heart; it’s resignation and despair”

are you telling me Sadmad is the equivalent of a guy in a dead end office job taking it out on his coworkers

“The only thing I know for sure is... Nahyuta is suffering, and he is suffering in silence”

edgeworth: been there, done that!

blackquill: BEEN THERE, DONE THAT

ya sure put a lot of stock in Sadmad, Dhurke. i mean i guess he’s your son but seriously; if you're a proper rebel you’d cut your losses and get on with shit already with or without him

...y’know, this speech about lawyers being like dragons kind of doesn’t have the same emotion impact and gravitas that the non-dragon one in T&T did.

oh how... charming...

*America’s* badge is shaped like a sunflower... and Kooraheen’s is shaped like a buggy eye.

YARGH

dont DO that

your voice is BAD

“he’s my son! therefor he has to believe in the same thing as me! nothing, not even torture could have changed him!”

cue Gredgeworth’s awkward cough from the afterlife.

“You know, I remember when Nahyuta and I were kids, he used to say with great pride ‘I have the blood of a dragon in me!’”

cue tiny apollo feeling left out and alone because he doesn’t know what kind of blood is in him

>reform court system

>rescue son

well... i guess there could be worse reasons to start a revolution.

“I mean, what are fathers for?!”

( ‘I... I wouldn’t know...’)

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, GAME

ARE YOU TRYING TO BREAK MY HEART

YOU CAN’T GIVE APOLLO ALL THESE EMOTIONS WHEN YOU’RE ALSO SHAFTING HIS ASS AT THE SAME TIME

SHAME ON YOU

HE HAS A BROKEN ARM

HOWS HE GONNA SWIM

oh its high tide yay

oh it’s... really high tide

wow.

well this is fun. i daresay id really like this sequence... if it wasn’t in this game.

“oh no... the water might carry me up to the way out of here... how awful.”

lol can you imagine if this was timed tho

oh hey it’s the DD panic panic song. i liked that one. it deserves its spot in the suspense music roster.

y’know at this point i kinda hope he really just dies

wouldn’t that be a kicker

not that i hate apollo or anything but I'm just............... so tired

apollo’s pretty calm for a drowning person

i’ve nearly suffocated before and the only thing going through my head was AIR AIR AIR GET AIR GET AIR GET AIR AIR AIR

baby apollo: waahhhh!!! we’re both perfectly dry!!! the artist didn’t bother to make us look wet in the flashback!

A) Little Apollo doesn’t even call Dhurke “Daddy” or “Papa” despite being raised by him since infant hood, possibly meaning Dhurke gave him the ‘You’re adopted” speech pretty early. Or else kids that “aren’t really my son” have to go by name basis. See? Nahyuta calls him father.

B) Haha! Boys don’t cry, not-son! Suck those sissy tears back up into your skull, or you’ll look gay! It doesn’t matter that you’re like five and you almost drowned to death! Don’t embarrass me!

“Don’t ever hesitate to call when you need me”

oh but apollo your ass gets shipped back to america tomorrow ok

no seriously. on one hand; why did apollo get sent away? why couldn’t he be a rebel alongside nahyuta and fight for his family? on the other hand, why didn’t dhurke send nahyuta with him? if apollo’s going away because it’s dangerous, why is nahyuta staying with dhurke in the path of danger?

to be honest I'm ashamed that I'm crying, but it’s less about this scene being sad as fuck and more about the fact that I know that none of this is ever really resolved. Dhurke is still a piece of shit who made no attempt to contact apollo for years until he needed a favour out of him. and Apollo has to live with this stupid backstory because ESHIRO thought it would be dramatic and cool. Apollo’s going to “go home”, leave the series... He doesn’t even know he’s leaving his last scrap of real family who gives a shit about him behind in America.

Apollo doesn’t deserve this.

Dhurke, with superman theme playing in the background: Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Redeeming my character! By saving your life! Though only a heartless, shithead person, would leave you behind to die! So this isn’t great.

...is he holding him in his broken arm

wait is that arm even broken

has he just been holding it like it’s in a sling for no reason this whole time

“Still can’t swim, eh?”

oh fuck off

“Good thing your name’s not Neptune, hahahaha!”

A) OH FUCK OFF

B) NEPTUNE IS A SEA GOD, HE’D ACTUALLY BE RESISTANT TO WATER

WHOA FUCK HOLY SHIT

vore machine came out of nowhere and oh

also he is also laughing at a guy who almost drowned

well aren’t these two just the greatest men on earth huh

Trucy: :) lets make this drowning thing seem like no big deal by playing it off and not even asking if you're okay at all :))))

great... now he owes his life to him.... that completely cancels out every other piece of baggage.....

remember........ when edgeworth owed his life to phoenix......... remember how he was 100% okay after that and not fucked up at all................ remember how he just popped back into the series without any changes whatsoever apart from being phoenix’s friend again........................................

“GLAD TO SEE YOURE NOT CRYING SON; IM GLAD YOU GREW UP INTO THE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED MAN I ALWAYS WANTED, EVEN WITHOUT MY STELLAR PARENTAL GUIDANCE! THAT LONELY ORPHANAGE MUST HAVE TOUGHENED YOU UP GOOD! HAH-HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!”

y’know in the interim i was thinking

Rebel Apollo would be great. he’d probably be an enormous goofus but at least he’d be happy and maybe Dhurke’s shitty plan would get off the ground because an actual smart person would be part of the team.

listen to that fuckin “we solved the case” music.

(sigh)

at least apollo is eating.

Turnabout Revolution... End

heh i wish

“Sure wish Nahyuta was here”

I don’t.

you fucking morons. you colossal fucking asshats. i knew this was coming

Dhurke: DURR LETS TALK ABOUT THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IN A PLACE WHERE WE KNOW THE GUY WHO WANTS THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ITEM IS! WHATS A STEALTH????

This is why the revolution has taken 20 FCKIN YEARS to take off. Because Dhurke and his band of nincompoops are all incompetent fuckwits.

huh i can see where Nahyuta gets his magic clap from.

also say it you loser say bitch

say bitch

A) If the “crystal” is a fake thing, his police report probably wouldn’t check out cause I'm P sure that people can’t just file police reports for anything without proof of previously owning it.

B) Dhurke. You’re a rebel. Shoot someone. Throw a smoke bomb. Gently jog away? Idk if that works in America but it sure as hell works in Kooraheen.

no. don’t do it. don’t you fucking do––

oh, i just saw a ghost.

The ghost of the potential any sequels past AJ had. It blinked at me sorrowfully before CAPCOM busted it and crammed it into the Containment Unit.

(sigh) Ok (most likely) fake shit aside, that would make Atishon related to Maya, and the “heirloom” would more probably be Maya’s. Why is this excuse present at all anyway it’s stupid.

Apollo it shouldn’t fuckin matter; it’s a court case. Just prove the orb isn’t the Crystal of Ami Fey and you win the case. You know that Phoenix doesn’t cheat and you’re pretty certain that the crystal really is the Founder’s Orb, so you shouldn’t be upset about anything. This isn’t a murder trial, it’s a dispute over ownership of an item. You know you’re in the right, so you ought to be able to win the trial. There’s literally no stakes apart from the fact that you’re facing your boss... but so what? That can happen... I assume, I’m not versed in that sort of thing. But either way, lawyers sometimes have to face off against each other... it happens. You had to face Nahyuta. Now you face Phoenix. Unless you think Phoenix will cheat, or that you don’t have sufficient info on the orb, then there’s legitimately no fucking problem. I mean yeah, sucks to go to court, but who gives a fuck? Win the trial and skip back to Kooraheen to overthrow the oppressive regime.

I don’t

what is the fucking problem

one of you gets payed, you both work at the same place

it doesn’t matter

APOLLO. You KNOW his methods. You know that he wins because his clients are innocent, and would graciously hand over victory if it was clear you were in the right; YOU HAVE TO KNOW THIS. YOU’RE HIS BIGGEST FAN, REMEMBER??

Unless you think he’d fucking cheat for a skeezy politician for money in which case, nice. Gotta love that trust and belief that DD was building up there.

“Can I do it? Can I fight him?” YES ITS NOT EVEN A MURDER TRIAL

“May the best attorney win”

well so much for finding the truth or whatever. Also Phoenix should be proud that Apollo is willing to go up against him; it shows he’s coming into his own. There’s literally no reason for them to be on shit terms right now.

“A fine mess I’ve gotten you into, son.”

Hey shithead that wasn’t an apology. Also yeah, go on and on about how good a lawyer Phoenix is just to scare Apollo. Brilliant.

“The first step of your revolution, huh?”

The first step. 20 years and he’s only just taking the first step. Not the first step to the end of the revolution; the first step to the revolution itself.

Welp, we’re off to fight over the possession of an oversized marble in court. Seeya next time i guess...

#ooc #sulking over SOJ #soj spoilers #soj spoilers obvs]#things we've learned today: Dhurke Sadmahdi is a lazy insensitive incompetent pieceof shit

2 notes · View notes

saltysenpai · 7 years

Text

Shitlord worked this morning shift with only one other blue shirt and proceeded to bomb it fantastically by: Nearly make the other blue shirt cry Proceeded to give out the wrong drink several times while holding up the line to tell people "lol im back" like bitch no one knows who u are stop running up drive thru Threatened a white shirt that he would take a picture of her if he saw her on her phone and go over the managers head to get her fired (tbf i wouldnt mind if he did this is a notoriously bad coworker with a nasty attitude and it would just add more reason for the manager to get mad at the shitlord) just because she was mad because he didnt really do anything. Which, knowing him, he didnt. Tried to stay on the clock while kissing the managers ass and doing nothing after he was supposed to until i asked him "hey you off the clock?" "Yeah" i check the POS. Nope hes still clocked in. So i manually clock him out and is visably confused when i see him trying to sneak over to the pos to clock out Is about to get busted for going into the computer to try and look at next weeks schedule (no one is allowed to except for the manager because you can change it) and it could only be him because he immediately goes to the computer the moment he comes in Tried to whistle for a coworker to come to him (but stopped immediately when i gave him a nasty look) then stated to that same coworker "You are helping me put out the new POP." This coworker had already clocked out and said no. I even stated that they had clocked out and they were about to leave. He then said as if i wasnt even there, "well i need you to help put up these posters they have to be up today." Then turned to me. "Unless you want to do it." And i told him i would and he can just go home already. I go into the office, ask the manager for the planogram, but hes already grumbling and putting everything up by himself. Tried to blame the cigarette butts by the back on a specific coworker, but was immediately shot down by the manager because there is a crackhead that digs through our shit for cigarette butts and makes a big mess also we have a baker that smokes so its probably them too Pissed literally everyone off that worked today, because he legitimately did nothing and tried to order everyone around Then got yelled at by the manager, the only reason he is here, asking why hes not following through on what he promised when he came back. Why did the shift fail? Why did our scores go 10 points down from today alone? Why was drive thru 161 when it should be 149 and under. Why should we keep him around if hes not going to follow through? All the nine yards. It made me giggle as i watched the shitshow and i bought that blue shirt a coke for their trouble. Like seriously just go home already. No one likes you and there only reason people would care if youre back is because they now know when not to come in. In 2 weeks he'll probably either be a white shirt again or get taken off the schedule

#fuck work

4 notes · View notes

diary4 · 6 years

Text

11/6/18

I want to pick up on yesterdays ‘to be continued’ and finish filling you in on the ‘major breakthrough’, but first, quick catch up. I couldn’t finish telling you about it yesterday because I’d been cooped up (locked in the bathroom, sat on the floor, leaning against the shower door, crying etc) for a long time and thought I ought to go downstairs and be with Dad. When I came down Amrit and Manjeet were there, sitting outside with Dad and Uncle Johnny and Tony and Angie on the patio. They had olives and salami and tapasy things out and people were chuckling and talking about Brexit (Manjeet’s in the cabinet office now – friends in high. Really should enquire about experience). It was strange because it felt like everything was back to normal and I kept catching myself looking around the table and wondering where Mum was or which seat Mum would sit in. Strange. Anyway Anne-Marie and Harriet and Chrissy came round (intrigue – really must find out how the marriage broke up) and then Max arrived, and it all started to feel nice. The tone was not happy necessarily but somehow celebratory – maybe it was something to do with everyone keep banging on about how Mum had lived her life exactly how she wanted to and really had had the best life she ever could have, which gets truer the more I think about it. She never went without, she never knew great pain, she never had to come to terms with significant loss (Larry keeps saying how, because Grandma and Grandad were so estranged from their families, they’ve never been through death and funerals before). She travelled widely, she lived well, anything she wanted she got and she never had to kill herself working for it, but rather kept busy with a job that she loved. People mention such facts with the tossed around label ‘small mercies’, but really they’re very big. At the end of the day, everyone has a limited time on the planet, and the only consolation we get for it isn’t a decade or two tacked on at the end, but the quality of the time you’ve had. For how much better it makes me feel, I reckon that’s a pretty big mercy.

Another small mercy that’s actually pretty fucking girthy – Chrissy parroted month younger me when he said about how the whole thing feels unjust and unfair and why me. Dad answered for me, saying that you get over that, because really it’s a nonsensical way of looking at things. There are babies, children who haven’t even learnt to walk yet who get diagnosed with the very same thing. Against eighteen months Mum’s fifty five years look pretty bloody kushty. And it’s not just that. There are people who lose their whole village in wars or get born into abusive families. What about that bitch that got chained up in the basement and raped by her Dad for twenty years? Where’s the justice in that? Fact is we live in an unfair world and you’ll go mad trying to right all the wrongs in it so all you can do is try and stick a big fuck you up to the whole lot of it by being very very happy.

I know it sounds like I’m really really okay with everything and even happy about some things, and I suppose that in a sense I am because in a way, there’s a great sense of relief, that now the suffering is over and were on the upwards slope. We’ve got past the halfway nadir and now its back on the up – bizarrely, things are looking up. That’s not to say I’m not devastated and I don’t miss Mum every minute of the day and that whenever the doorbell rings I don’t have a moment of wild hope that she’ll come shuffling through the door. But what it is is that I’ve gotten used to being devastated, and I can’t really remember what it feels like not having a hole in your heart. Maybe that’s just growing up – learning to live with pain is symptomatic of living itself. Life is a disease an incurable disease of which pain is a primary symptom (others include happiness, joy – expand the metaphor).

Anyway. Yesterday panned out pretty much as expected. Had a mish mash buffet for dinner. Made pesto to have pesto pasta then didn’t fancy it so jarred it and fridged it (even better the morning after – will have tonight). Did some shooting with Max and Harriet. Watched Love Island then, when everyone except me and Dad and Ellie had trickled away watched the end of Pulp Fiction. Front room felt empty without Mum. Anyway, was suddenly knackered and kept falling asleep – what is it about that final scene of Pulp that I can never seem to make it through without falling sleep? Still don’t know really understand what happens with Tim Roth.

Went to bed. Dad came woke me up in the morning coming in for a hug. One thing I will say – I was very worried things would be difficult and awkward between us and Dad, but I’ve been happily surprised. Yes, it’s a little awkward because we’re all having to adjust and he’s heartbroken and we’re all very sad – but I think we’ll be okay. We’ve been speaking very freely, and I keep going over and hugging him or holding his hand – not just to make a point, I’m glad to say, but because when I see him looking heartbroken across the table my whole being yearns to cuddle up. He’s the only parent I’ve got left.

I started writing this entry this morning when Janet and Chris, and then a little later Sarah, we’re around and Dad was out arranging the funeral. Made awkward chat with Chris and Janet, then, to my pleasant surprise, had a very enjoyable and ‘free-flowing’ chat with Sarah when she came over (look here, her daughter is closer to my age than she is yet she clearly views me as her equal as opposed to Paris’s – symptomatic of our biological relationship ‘cousins’?). Chatted about driving instructors and stuff, then Dad came back with Uncle Tony and John and Johnny and we all sat outside and sorted through lists of people to come and stuff. Its odd but I take a strange joy in funerals. I thoroughly enjoyed Nanny and Grandad’s (apart from that horrid bit with Dad crying), was thrilled by Aunt Lizzie’s and rather excited for Auntie Mary’s. I thought it would be different this time and that I would absolutely fucking hate it – my position for much of the past few months has actually been that I would ask to be excused from the whole thing. And while there’s still a lot of apprehension, it was nice planning it today – made me feel like we had a purpose, maybe like there was a reason for the whole thing. My mood towards the funeral in general has shifted since yesterday, and I’m now viewing it exclusively as a celebration of Mum rather than a lament. After all, why must death be a sorrowful occasion? Why must we mourn loss? Isn’t life’s ephemeral nature what makes it so beautiful after all? I don’t know. Maybe I can only say all these things coming from a perspective of having already been in mourning for a month – or, more terrifyingly, from still being in shock and unable to process the death. Maybe I just like feeling like part of a big family, and feeling like everyone is around to look after us – maybe I just like seeing how much better Uncle Johnny is doing these days (really, really – glowing, I have to say. An act put on for our benefit?). Or perhaps (more cynical) I just can’t wait to be the attention, to see all my friends, to get pissed and finally be the punter rather than the waiter, to sit outside and bask in an open bar. Who knows. Even if it does seem a bit irreverent, I think Mum would rather I enjoyed it than dreaded it.

Anyway that turned into a fucking long recap but it does cover the whole of today/ yesterday afternoon so.

But back to the breakthrough:

I think it may be partially responsible for the good relationship with Smarl we’ve enjoyed over the past 24 hrs. Truth is that the next thing I found in Mum’s manila memories envelope told me more about him that anyone else. They were three letters to Mum from Dad, which he scrawled on hotel stationary in the early 90s. So the first thing that struck me about them was that Mum and Dad’s relationship as presented in these private, pre-parenthood letters was exactly the same as the relationship I’ve known them to have my whole life. The jokes were the same (Toady, ‘A Toad Abroad’) – the bloody syntax and lexicon were the same. I don’t know, I feel like all children suspect their parents are putting on a show for them, and that really there’s something strange that they never see. Of course, the suspicion tends that this hidden je ne sais quas is of a *sexual* nature, and I was steeled for mention of this as I tiptoed through the letters. And, of course, it did rear its head when halfway through one letter, which takes the form of a lodged complaint about Mum not spending time with Dad even though he took the morning off work to be with her, he mentions a lack of ‘The Naughties’. I paused there. So that’s what they called it. I suppose every couple has a codeword – Charlie and I have ‘sexy time’, don’t we. Not going to lie, it felt pretty perverted prying on my parents sex life like that. Anyway, I was grateful to Dad for encoding the thing because it made me feel comfortable enough to read on. Cue the phrase that’s still kind of doing my head in because it’s so achingly beautiful and beyond anything I thought my parents were capable off, especially my mid twenties father. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a hell of a lot of affection in the letters – Dad is clearly smitten, he talks about keeping a photo of Mum with him on his travels and about always wanting to be with her and talk to her and missing her constantly and I mean ffs no boy has ever written me a bloody letter despite my constant requests so he obviously had it bad. But the tone of the relationship was banterous, friendly – again, don’t get me wrong, in a good way. In places Dad is just downright hilarious – one of the letters is addressed as being from ‘Paul Murphy, International Businessman, The World’. They sound like relationship goals tbf – jokes guy, beautiful woman he’s head over heals with, comfortable friendly rapport (at one point he calls for more naughties with the parenthesised ‘Better effort next time Boyce!’). But while there’s clearly an incredible amount of love and affection, there isn’t a lot of room besides all this for morbid sexual passion. They aren’t thrusting hips and craving lips etc (thank god). Except for this one place, this one line, which stands out like, idk, like a graveyard in a flowerbed, like a bullet in a plate of pee, like a human heart in pile of heart shaped pillows. Dad writes how much he’s been missing Mum, and how it’s tough for him to have not seen her for five weeks because ‘every time I see you I want to jump on your bones’. ‘Jump on your bones’. God, I fucking wish I’d come up with that. I had to reread it twice over to make sure I had it right but there’s no mistake, that’s what it says, the handwriting is clear. What is that, a quote. What does that even mean? Jump on your bones… God, what an expression of absolute longing for another person.

The sexual references did get more explicit. On the page after the bones Dad writes ‘have a nice time on holiday, bring me back some porn films’ which I actually laughed at but which was also something of a ‘caution: danger ahead sign’, because at the bottom of the page was a drawing of a dick with an arrow and caption of something like ‘he needs attention’- but I slammed the thing shut before I could read more. No one needs to know their parents that well.

So yeah. That was revealing. I think the main thing I got from it was, like I said, an insight into Dad rather than Mum, and an insight into just how much she meant to him. This was more than just the love of his life – it was one of the greatest loves of any life. He’s a generous and caring person with an excellent capacity for loving other people, but what she brought out in him was special even for that. That relationship, those early days of dreaming and just wanting to be together all the time. He must be fucking dying. I wish there was more I could do. My first thought was to return those letters to the drawer so that he could find them and have them, but now I’m not sure. I’m afraid they’ll make him really sad. Don’t know if it’s my decision to make. Need to talk to someone. Don’t fancy talking to Charlie about it – if I’m honest, the whole situation has made me rather cool towards him. There I was thinking we had something akin to Mum and Dad. I don’t think it’s even half of that. And honestly, I don’t think it’s me, I think it’s him. Maybe I’m just being harsh, maybe he’s just not as good as Dad at expressing his emotions. Even so. I think it’s my right to be picky, having something like that to hold boys up against – the bar is very high. Touche Paulie – the bar is very very high.

This morning before anyone arrived Dad, Ellie and I sat out on the patio and had our respective breakfasts in the sun. Felt strange again. Empty chair staring at me across the table. What it felt like exactly was the end scene of a film, which has been cut to suddenly after some great dramatic fight. And what you see in the scene is three characters that you knew were safe talking around a table, but really you’re just sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to see if the person who was badly injured in the fight made it out alive. And all the characters except this one person are just sitting around, and you can see them all but you don’t care you’re just waiting and waiting, and they drag it out right up until the final frame of the film when at last you get to let out that sigh of relief and leave the cinema on a high – they made it! Except, obviously, without getting morose, this isn’t one of those films this one ends poignant and sad and you don’t leave on a hip hop high you leave on a slow mow low.

0 notes