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reneeswing · 4 years

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The Joy, The Ridicule and The Hope

Let's rewind: what are the top three advices that have been given to us about COVID-19 prevention: wash your hand, observe social distance and take care of each other. Does that ring the bell that we have learnt all three things since we are in elementary school, if we are ever lucky enough to go to one.

So, I am going to make a bold statement here: most of the life-long lessons that we need for going through life, we’ve learnt them way before advanced educations, regardless of differences in culture, race and geographic locations. Yet, the sad truth is we only seem to spend the remainder of our time forgetting all we have learnt and all we need to remember to overcome this conundrum. If I dig a bit deeper, my basic education have equiped me with way more useful knowledge than what business school and law school have ever tought me. To name a few, geography helps me to navigate through the continents without being laughed at, history and literature offer me perspectives to see and comprehend everything ever happened in this time and this world. Law school and business school, on the other hand, slowly coop up people into a disillusion of elite class, distancing them from what’s actually going on in this insanely biased reality. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe every opportunity of education matters, it emancipates and liberates generations; and if anything, I have been blessed with all sort of way of thinking, coming from each stage of my school years. It is the monotonous perception on education that sometimes misinterprets or overly simplifies its true essence.

Do anyone begin to appreciate the down time of this quanrantine yet? I am not saying this to trivialize the dismal impact of the pandemic; because both our economic and social lives have taken a major toll from this crisis. For those who are alone in this quarantine, they are craving for human contact, the touch, the hug, all the more basic need of being a human; whereas for those who have a full house with multiple children at home, the working day never ends as it is combined with home schooling. This makes people finally realize that their job is their ultimate refuge. One of my friends started to refer to her kids as fantastic beasts, since the third week of the lockdown. This is, in my opinion, one of the best metaphors of the year. Now, this is what I hope: when all this is over, we will eventually appreciate more of our teachers and other educational workers. for us, it is only with our own kids, whereas at school, kids are ganged up on them. They are entitled to fairer reward and respect from all walks of the society.

Like others, my emotion has gone through various stages: at first, I was fairly content with what I’ve got here, a cozy home, abundant toilet rolls and sufficient supply of alcoholic grape juice. Then some kind of obsession started to develop, the bad kind is to slowly transform healthy self-reflection into self-condemnation for something I have done wrong 2,3,5 years ago. And the more time I spent on my devices, the higher level of anxiety incubated. Then, later on, I decided to have a rather lengthy conversation with myself, the righteous thing that I have ever done: committing to my own feelings, compelling myself away from judgement. I learnt to acknowledge them, more importantly, I searched for language and specific words to label them in all the more precise way. Through that exercise, I realized although they appear similarly, the emotion of anxiety is very different from that of sadness; and the exhileration that I was feeling is also different from excitement. When I found out I was able to distinguish those various emotions in me, I felt stress level has already half way gone, I could call the truce with myself. So, something good does come out from this period. When we are not able to go out, we should allow ourselves to go within.

There are a lot more silver linings. To my recollection over the past 8 years, I don’t rememer any of the Dutch springs is as beautiful as this one. We’ve had sunny and warm weather throughout the month of April. Everyday, I went onto my balcony, let the light beam through my forehead and inhale the most precious fresh air. It is painful to face it that our continents are receding to isolated islands as all the traffics are shut down, but it is also delightful to find that nature thrives when human society hits the PAUSE button. The blue sky is returned to the birds and their flapping wings; waterways turn purer as no more crazy human running around and emitting pollution into them. Even panda’s resume consummation. For the last 2,3 years, anthropogenic activities have caused large scale bushfires across north and south hemispheres; it happened even in Syberia above the North Pole. Human society is inflicting pains onto the lung of our Mother Earth. Isn’t it an irony that our respiratory system is succumbed to this coronavirus? I couldn’t help but wonder if this pandemic is the nature’s vengeance onto the arrogance of human race? So, here comes my second wish. One day as we come out of this pandemic, our peaceful moments with the nature will stick around a bit longer. Even though I know that humanity is terrible at reckoning with it own sin, I still wish this time, after all we have endured, we will finally learn to return the favour for our Mother Nature’s altruistic love. That we will be more reflective on our own behaviours, the impact that each of us have made onto anything outside of ourselves. You may say I am a dreamer, but I am definitely not and should not be the only one.

......

The world is suffering from its own bipolar disorder. To steer my way clear from the menaces, I rid myself of watching news during the weekends. But one still doesn't make the cut. As for a while, it is the only thing that people couldn't stop talking about: Donald Trump contemplates injecting/ingesting coronavirus patients with disinfectants, until the moment he made the next obnoxious statement. What's even more troubling is there was actually a slight increasing number of ER cases caused by internal administration of chemical solvent. Both New York Times and RB, the producer of Lysol and Dettol, had to make official announcement to talk people out of their desperate craze. One day I woke up and spit out this question: how is it even possibly happening? If B school has ever taught me anything, it is that leadership matters; and I dedicated most of my career contemplating how to be a good (future) leader. But nowadays, we are riding a perfect storm, while sinking down into a chasm called: the scum rises to the top. We are living in a reality that outruns the most ridiculous screenwriting of political drama. Not only have we got Trump assumed the most powerful position in this world, we don't seem capable of appropriating any countermeasures to dampen the damages. Although his strategy is nothing much different from that of a shameless politician: barking up the wrong trees to divert the public's attention further away from criticism against him, the impact however is way too profound to be left alone. He is dividing not only a country, also driving a wedge between friendly countries, when the only hope the world is left with is the hope of solidarity.

The world is in urgent need of an assertive voice with a kind heart and a pair of potent hands. It cannot be done by one person, rather, has to be a collective conscience of all the human societies. The younger generation does not believe in institutions, they embrace anarchistic believes and have little problem of taking things to its extremity; but in the meantime, they are reasonable, way more objective and fairer than they are being judged or even portrayed. They believe in gender equality, inform themselves of cultural intricacy and they gather to rally for animal rights and climate change. For both reasons, their world needs leaders with integrity and convincing voices. In all appropriate times, we need to learn to be a leader for ourselves and for others. It is up to us how we are going to make our next decision, in giving an opinion, in executing right to vote, in influencing people around us and in doing smallest good deeds to hold onto each other. Here's an example. It is no strange thing to know that our doctors and nurses are working under tremendous physical and mental pressures. We've heard multiple cases in Italy and the US that medical staff committed suicide after virus contraction or nervous breakdown. In almost every country, people are finding ways to demonstrate their gratitude to their guardian angels; however news from India reads that doctors and nurses become target of discrimination, demonising them as virus itself. Similar discriminatory stories surface from time to time around the world against people from other countries or communities because of the pandemic. This shows how far off people could be dangerously biased and misled; the absence of a just and empathetic figure in the leadership attributes to and to a great extent severs the alienation. But we all could and should choose to lead. We can never let our guard down, ignoring any appalling ignorance, even with the slightest carelessness. We need to speak up, protect people who are protecting us and the world's most vulnerable's. We need to do it constantly, consistently and often enough. Bear in mind, our decision and undertaking of today will define our tomorrow in common.

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Alright, enough about the grim prospect and grievance. As far as being a hopeless optimist, I will complement my third wish with a faith in humanity after it all. Yesterday, I watched the season finale of Westworld. As Dolores sank down into her memory, she restated: "Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world. The disarray. I choose to see the beauty". I agree with every bit of those words. I believe the key to the sublime lies in ourselves and our conscience. In the end, true bravery is to love the world and humanity, despite the ugliness that we have seen or experienced.

Before I let you go, I am inviting you to join me in paying tributes to all the essential workers who are risking their lives every day to keep ours running without panics. Next to our lovely doctors and nurses, here's to the infrastructure workers, the train conductors and bus drivers, the supermarkets' staff, the logistics companies, the mailman, (especially my mailman, who brings me my 1,000 packages to fill the huge void in my soul), the journalists and newsmen, who are running all across the countries, strive to bring us brutal facts, inconvenient truths, disarray and hopes. Collectively you've prevented the world from crumpling, after the mess we made. I thank you for that!

Please take care and stay healthy!

Love, R

#stories

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gobeepmyself · 4 years

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i tend to write a lot of characters who experience either a lack of love or loss of it (also w/ parent issues but what’s good we talkin’ bout THIS rn) and richie is so profound in his loss. but it’s very different from another character i write, and i think a lot of it has to rest in the concept of what could have been as opposed to what was.

richie is a grown ass man who lived a life without eddie more than he did with. he forgot that bitch. he was GONE. but imagine the turmoil and whiplash of coming back to defeat an evil clown (ok, hard to do that but) and regaining a multitude of memories. in the book it just happens as a recall but in the films it feels like a relearning. richie was remembering an infatuation that was strong enough to leave him feeling wrecked and whether that bond was amplified by the act of battling and temporarily beating pennywise or not; it was significant enough to impact him in his later, more established life.

which brings me thinking about how stephen tackles memory and nostalgia. it’s been awhile since i read the book and since we’re on the topic, i have terrible memory. as a twenty-seven year old, i can’t remember most of what i did in my childhood. but i remember people - some names i don’t retain but i remember certain, very random moments. and the feelings in those moments. i remember bethany and her sister and they had a mickey mouse game that TO THIS DAY i have no been able to find, but i remember the giddy frustration of playing it and constantly failing. i remember laying on this curved rock on the elementary playground while school was in session but it wasn’t recess because i felt an incredible amount of adrenaline. being naughty!! in this militant family?

i remember bad things because i remember how strongly i felt and i remember my first kiss because of how nervous i was and that is the strong dictator. richie might have thought of the kids he was friends with over the years in that same, distant way. maybe (with different circumstances) he would’ve checked eddie out on facebook and went over his elementary school pictures - you know the ones they made you take of your class and the year??

in that hypothetical vision, we could say richie remembered eddie (and by proxy all the losers) because he had a strong affinity for them. most people (baring mental illness/conditions that keep memory frail and/or out of reach) remember their childhood and their feelings. and if eddie was richie’s first crush, especially with how we’ve seen it presented film wise (bc i can’t remember that damn ass book to save my LIFE but i remember fucking brittany and her POOL), then richie’s mourning what could have been.

maybe he remembered on a sunday morning the way eddie would react when he teased him. that rush of swoopy gut bats. that’s nostalgia, if they were kids when it happened and richie is thirty-eight. even when they reunite to kil that fucking clown and richie endures reliving his feelings, everything from that point on is what could have been and glides easily into saudade. i think richie is a fairly relatable character, in that sense - especially if you’re experiencing it through the film because most people attach to that aspect and understand it viscerally when richie can’t help but weep.

i’m fucked up

#; I THINK YOU READ SHIT ON THE INTERNET ( ooc )#i have been in my thoughts and feelings #i write emma cullen from mag7 too and honestly anything with shit like this gets me GOING #fuck #this probably doesn't make any sense #i wrote it and didn't reread #i am TIRED and SAD and TOO GAY #i'm blaming this on celeste and ted #me being anxious about things translates into me writing big honking things like this #IF I THINK ABOUT THIS THEN I DON'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE #that's how problems work right

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getanattitude · 4 years

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The Ultimate Glossary of Terms About best beginner keyboard

“The greater you dig into a bit of Ives, the more enjoyment you get from it,” the pianist Jeremy Denk mentioned not long ago, sitting in a piano in a rehearsal space on the Juilliard College. “It’s like solving a puzzle.”

Then he enthusiastically deconstructed Ives’s “Concord” Sonata, untangling and conveying the themes and motifs embedded during the intricate textures of the intriguing score.

Mr. Denk is going to launch a disc, “Jeremy Denk Plays Ives” (Feel Denk Media), showcasing two piano sonatas, an esoteric decision of repertory for any debut solo album. But then, there is nothing generic relating to this adventurous musician. His vivacious intellect is manifest the two in his playing and on his site, Feel Denk, an outlet for astute musical observations and witty musings, whether or not a lament about inedible meatballs or possibly a spoof job interview with Sarah Palin.

Mr. Denk will exhibit his much more mainstream credentials when he performs Liszt’s Piano Concerto No. one with Charles Dutoit as well as Philadelphia Orchestra commencing on Thursday with the Kimmel Heart in Philadelphia and on Oct. 12 at Carnegie Corridor.

Mr. Denk argues which the Ives sonatas, composed early from the twentieth century, are mistakenly classified as avant-garde works instead of “epic Intimate sonatas with Lisztian thematic transformations.” For the relaxed listener, the audio that Mr. Denk describes in the CD booklet as “good, creative, tender, edgy, wild, first, witty, haunting” can unquestionably sound avant-garde. Ives, who created his living in the insurance enterprise, included jazz, riffs on Beethoven and American hymns, marches and folk tunes into his daringly experimental piano sonatas, rich in polytonality, thematic layering and rhythmic complexity.

“It’s so splendidly in-your-confront,” Mr. Denk reported, demonstrating a very maniacal passage inside the “Concord” Sonata. “It’s also fairly amazingly unattractive. There is one thing maddening about his sense of humor. Ives is repeatedly thumbing his nose at you in a method.”

But Mr. Denk implies that Ives’s tenderness, which he illuminates beautifully On this recording, is underappreciated. “Ives is commonly about things recalled,” he reported, “or Recollections or visions fetched out of some tricky area.”

He performed the harmonically misty passages in the next movement on the “Concord,” exactly where Ives directs that a piece of Wooden be pressed about the higher keys to make a cluster chord. “It doesn’t really feel gimmicky in the least to me,” Mr. Denk said. “It’s all blues in The underside. Ives understood tips on how to use those tiny clichéd bits of Americana in a way that all of a sudden will get your gut. You may’t believe how touching it truly is.”

Mr. Denk, 40, has long been enthusiastic about Ives because his undergraduate days at Oberlin in Ohio, the place he carried a double significant in piano overall performance and chemistry. “My full double diploma expertise was considerably of the continual freakout of 1 kind of A different,” he explained.

He had been a “genuinely nerdy highschool student” that has a constrained social existence, he reported. “Ever considering the fact that I used to be A child I desired to check out Oberlin and preferred the liberal arts. Of course I really get intensive pleasure from drawing connections involving pieces and poems and literature and concepts.”

Mr. Denk described himself as being a “observe maniac,” but his horizons have prolonged far beyond the follow area since Oberlin. Though nibbling a massive bit of chocolate product pie at an Higher West Side diner near the condominium he has rented considering the fact that about 1999, Mr. Denk referred to his site, calling it “an surprisingly superior outlet to release tensions of 1 variety or A further.” He claimed it had drawn new listeners to his concert events. An avid reader of liberal political blogs, Mr. Denk goals of crafting a classical tunes Model of Wonkette, he claimed, but that could be tough to do with out offending persons. And he tries to steer clear of offending men and women, he added, even though he did a short while ago submit a rant about plan notes.

Mr. Denk, who phone calls himself “a real Francophile,” is delicate-spoken but extreme, his discussion peppered with references to varied “obsessions”: coffee, Ives, Bach, Proust, Baudelaire and Emerson.

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He went off on “a Balzac mania” a several years in the past, he mentioned.

“That was a unsafe time, and every thing in everyday life seemed drawn out of a Balzac novel,” he additional. “I shed about a few decades of my life to Proust. I’m positive it modified every little thing, which include my enjoying.

“One day my manager was like, ‘Dude, You need to center on your vocation and finding your stuff jointly.’ ” At that time, Mr. Denk reported, “I used to be bringing Proust to meetings.” He additional: “I’m not sure I really experienced a profession route. I was just carrying out my Bizarre issue, which possibly seemed like a disastrous nonroute to most of the folks who have been watching above me. I keep in mind some exasperated meetings with my administration, but they ended up very individual and devoted, which I’m insanely grateful for.”

Mr. Denk grew up in Las Cruces, N.M., one among two brothers, a son of tunes-loving nonmusician mother and father. His father, that has a doctorate in chemistry, continues to be (at distinct situations) a Roman Catholic monk as well as a director of Computer system science at New Mexico Condition College.

Mr. Denk stays hooked on the chili peppers of Las Cruces, he stated, seemingly only half joking: “The red and the green and The complete spirituality of chili peppers. It’s nevertheless a huge Component of my life. Once i go household I drop by this actual dive and obsess in excess of their green meat burrito.”

When not on tour, Mr. Denk spends time together with his boyfriend, Patrick Posey, a saxophonist as well as the director of orchestral routines and setting up at Juilliard, wherever Mr. Denk obtained his doctorate, finding out with Herbert Stessin. Mr. Stessin recollects owning been impressed by “the maturity and intensity” of Mr. Denk’s actively playing and remembers him as “a rare scholar who absorbed items very speedily.”

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Mr. Denk explained he “was in school forever” until eventually “at some point I chose to trust my own instincts.” Now he teaches double-degree undergraduates for the Bard Faculty Conservatory of Music. The pianist Allegra Chapman, who analyzed with him, mentioned he was “concerned with a great deal greater than the notes around the web site, always citing literary and historical references.”

“Now I endeavor to tactic songs within a additional holistic standpoint,” she extra. “He is quite passionate. He used to soar across the room and bounce about and wave his arms. It was actually entertaining. He tried to get me to consider the new music having a humorousness.”

This combination of enthusiasm, humor and intellect, so vivid in both equally Mr. Denk’s taking part in and his crafting, is what distinguishes him, based on the violinist Joshua Bell. The two have already been typical duo associates due to the fact 2004, whenever they carried out on the Spoleto Pageant United states of america.

“You obtain the intellectual musicians or individuals who don their coronary heart on their sleeve and not using a lots of musical thought,” Mr. Bell explained, “but Jeremy manages to carry out both of those, Which’s ideal. Now we have lots of arguments in rehearsal, which can be the fun section at the same time. The actual fact we don’t normally see eye to eye retains things fresh and would make me query every little thing I do.”

Mr. Bell, whose selections of repertory are typically more common than Those people of his a lot more adventurous colleague, stated he wasn’t always an Ives fan: “Which has a great deal of recent music I’m somewhat cautious. Despite Ives, right up until I listened to Jeremy. He just delivers it alive. He has this sort of a great creativeness, and nothing is done randomly.”

Ives’s piano sonatas, Mr. Denk explained, “are in a method like animals that don’t want to be tamed.”

“Just about every efficiency needs to be so diverse,” he included, just one purpose he was at first hesitant to file them. Like Bach, he mentioned, Ives leaves lots to the performer’s creativeness.

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A great interpretation of your “Goldberg” Variations at Symphony Room in 2008 disclosed Mr. Denk’s profound affinity with Bach. Mr. Denk will carry out the operate and Books 1 and a pair of of Ligeti’s Études at Zankel Hall on Feb. sixteen.

To keep the “Goldberg” Variants refreshing, Mr. Denk is incorporating new fingerings, he claimed, “to reactivate the link concerning my brain and my fingers After i’m taking part in it.”

“I believe it’s an actual magical position when you have the muscle memory,” he included, “although the brain is ahead of your fingers.”

Transforming the fingerings is one way to stay clear of program, he said. “I get actual enjoyment from creating in a very superior fingering. It truly is like relearning the piece, and it will make you not choose any Take note without any consideration.”

The musical philosophy Mr. Denk relates to Bach, Ives and various repertory is probably finest summed up in that site put up on program notes: “I’ve by no means been an enormous enthusiast in the ‘Envision how groundbreaking this piece was when it was penned’ faculty of inspiration. For my revenue, it ought to be innovative now. (And it's.) No matter what else the composer may need intended, she or he didn’t want you to Assume, ‘Boy, that must are already great again then.’ The most elementary compositional intent, absolutely the ur-intent, is that you Participate in it now, you make it transpire now.”

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naokimizutani-blog · 6 years

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My Experiences, Perspective, My Why, My Vision, Point Of View On the World, And What I Believe In...

Hey guys. This is my first blog, so some of you might need a little background story.

I’m currently living in Tokyo with my wife and cat. I teach Transcendental Meditation and living a comfortable life here. It wasn’t always this way, as I’ve had to find my purpose, persevere and overcome my lack of patience…which I’m still working on.

I was born and raised in downtown Los Angeles. Some people say they’re born in a “big city” when they’re actually born in the outskirts “nearby.” I was born in the middle of LA in Korea Town. Not the best of places, but it’s where my parents started when they immigrated from Japan with only a dream and drive to succeed, and eventually raised a family with three kids, a cat and a dog.

I never thought of myself as a minority, since I didn’t understand that there was even a majority. People were always people to me.

At home, my parents would speak Japanese. My father was from Kagoshima, Kyushu and my mother was from Osaka near Tennnoji. Luckily, I was placed in an environment where I didn’t have a lot of Japanese friends, so outside of the house, I spoke “SoCal” English. I write “SoCal” because later on, when I moved states for college, I found out the rest of America, or even the world, doesn’t speak the same laid back, “nah-man-everything’s-coo” English I spoke back in my hometown.

It also took me 25 years to realize that the Japanese I spoke at home was NOT the Japanese spoken by most people in Japan either. When I first came to Tokyo and heard formal Japanese (“keigo”), I had no clue what was being said. The clerk at the cash register would always look at me funny because I looked Japanese but couldn’t speak it fluently, which is a thing I sometimes still struggle with today. I probably come off as a Korean student who studies Japanese. These days, it seems the less I speak and just do subtle gestures combined with perfectly timed words, the more I fit right in.

Dialects are a real strange thing. I mean, can you imagine? What if you were born in an area with a specific dialect, and you moved out of your hometown only to realize that your dialect made you sound unintelligent to most people. Luckily the dialects I landed with weren’t so bad, but just a food for thought for those of you raising your children.

My parents were natural entrepreneurs. My dad owned an electronic store in Osaka, which is where he met my mother. (A really cute and funny story there that I’ll save for another blog.) It was during the economic bubble in Japan, so it was a good time to open up shop. He then sold it, followed his dreams, and flew to Los Angeles. My mother followed him to America a year later, and they eventually opened up a Japanese restaurant in Cypress, Orange County.

For all of my childhood, from preschool to high school, my parents were running their restaurant business. During my elementary school years, I’d go there after school and hang out in the back room until my mom finished work. I remember there was always a lot of customers. It was probably the fact that no one else in the area offered teriyaki bowls, sushi, udon noodles, yakisoba or chicken karaage. All I’ll say is that the food at home was ALWAYS good. :)

I admired the culture they created with their customers. Everyone seemed to know my parents by name, and even the police and fire fighters would come in and high-five me.

The only time I got in trouble for being there was when I got bored waiting and stuck my hand in a mountain of rice grains. It felt pretty amazing, but I learned never to mess with quality assurance when a customer witnessed me and my mom brought her scolding thunder.

My mother hardly speaks English, even today, and she claims you only need two things to survive in another country. A smile and “thank you.” I guess that’s why I naturally always smile and say thank you.

My parents did a pretty good job in keeping all three kids out of trouble. They kept us busy. Besides regular school, I trained in a basketball league 3-5 days a week with a weekend game. It wasn’t the league for aspiring Michael Jordan’s and Kobe Bryant’s, but the Asian one. I seriously thought I was pretty good at basketball until I met guys twice my size in Jr. High and High School that easily swatted my threes and dunked over my low defensive stance.

You know that feeling when you train every day and night, even though the lights are out at the park, trying to perfect your moves and shots for 10 years, only to find out you were living in a small bubble and there were guys with better genetics and more talent than you? It’s basically what happened to me with karate, piano, and golf as well, even though I won a lot of competitions, received awards, and featured in local newspapers…in my small bubble.

Basketball and karate brings a lot of good memories, though. It wasn’t winning the competitions and being the best that I enjoyed. It was the process of improving myself and enjoying the community.

My Jr. High and High School years were colored with hip hop, breakdancing and DJing. The Fugees, Tribe Called Quest, Tupac, Ice Cube, Rakim, KRS One, EPMD, Wu Tang, Biggie, DJ Qbert, Mix Master Mike, come to mind. It was always for fun, and my homiez always knew how to have a good time. After school, I’d swim at my friend’s pool, go snowboarding, or have bonfires at the beach. Life was good in the SoCal way.

Since my parents were also successful in network marketing as a side business, I remember being taken to large mansions with 13 rooms overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was sitting in on meetings and events like these where I learned that business was all about building a community, and financial success was just an outcome. It seemed like the business part was only an excuse to get together because 80-90% of the conversation was about family and kids.

My dad took the family on a local trip every weekend, we had a family trip multiple times a year, and visited our relatives in Japan once a year up until I was in high school.

My parents wanted all three kids to at least be able to understand Japanese and speak to our grandparents, so on top of going to weekday school and all the extra curricular activity, we went to Japanese school on Saturdays.

Boy, did I hate it. It wasn’t that it was hard or difficult. I just really didn’t like the mentality and culture at the Japanese school. Being raised in an American culture, especially in the “sunshine” culture of LA where you’re free to express yourself, going to Japanese school felt like the cringe most people feel when they hear about what’s going on in North Korea. Rigid, so many rules, and very top-down hierarchy. Eek.

It made me appreciate the American culture even more. I excelled in American school, but never did my homework for my Japanese school. I made a ton of friends during the weekdays, but got in a fight every Saturday. It was two opposite worlds, and it was stressful. I think I took out all my aggression and frustration in sports and recreation.

Then, the next day of the week were the peaceful days at Sunday school. That’s where I gained exposure to profound questions to life. It naturally made me think deeply, and put the small things into perspective. It set the foundation, the “thesis” for the direction in my life.

College felt sudden to me. I wasn’t prepared AT ALL. My parents were immigrants, so they didn’t know what to do or how to prepare. With my so-so grades, I cruised right into San Diego State University and that’s when I found out college was about drinking and partying. There was literally a free shuttle bus that would take students from college campus to Tijuana to go party. It all felt lame to me, so my attention went inwards to search for truth and what’s real. It made me ask bigger questions and initiated my soul searching.

I ended up transferring to a private college that specialized in traditional oriental medicine. It was my first exposure to acupuncture, herbs and hippies! I was fascinated because it was a new world to me and off the beaten path. After getting certified as a therapist, I continued my soul searching while attending community college.

During that time, one book that grabbed my attention was the “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda. I visited the Self-Realization Fellowship temples, participated in some classes, and learned some meditation techniques. The Eastern traditions were drawing me closer and closer, and I became fascinated with ancient Vedic knowledge.

One day, somewhere in Pasadena, I was walking home from a rock concert featuring Yellowcard, and saw a poster for the preview of “What The Bleep Do We Know” at a local bookstore. I was fascinated by the concept of quantum physics, mind over matter, and the law of attraction. To be honest, a lot of the speakers seemed too “out there” for my taste, but a Harvard professor caught my attention - Dr. John Hagelin.

I found he was a faculty member of a little known college in the middle of Iowa, called Maharishi University of Management (MUM). I searched for their website, and felt goosebumps. My gut feeling was telling me to go, so I convinced my dad to visit with me and I ended up becoming a student within a few months.

MUM was in a small town located in Fairfield, Iowa. The first reaction from my older sister, Jenny, was “Why are you going to Ohio?” It made me laugh, but I honestly didn’t have a rational, logical reasoning. I just had an intuition.

At MUM, I learned Transcendental Meditation, meditated twice a day with thousands of students, professors and people from many different countries. It was the world I started to glimpse at the oriental medicine school, but multiplied by a thousand.

Fairfield is a town of 10,000 people, where the majority of residents are health conscious artists, entrepreneurs and business owners. Those 5 years taught me what was possible on a community level if enough people agreed to a common lifestyle. My perspective of the world went from a dark, violent world, to a stress-free, peace-loving one.

I majored in Environmental Science, and minored in Vedic Science. Then, my last year was focused on mathematics and physics. I ended up being the assistant for Dr. John Hagelin’s first-year physics course, which was a crash course on fundamental physics and quantum physics.

I then found an opportunity to go to the Maharishi European Research University (MERU) in Vlodrop, Holland. Let me tell you, the feeling of the place made it seem like it was a different world. The closest thing I can relate it to is the Jedi counsel in Star Wars. Yoda was like the TM founder Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and the Jedi masters were like the many leaders from various countries. Some were from countries I probably wouldn’t be able to point out on a map even if my life depended on it. Kyrgyzstan, Brunei, or Malta anyone? MERU was like an extension of Fairfield, but more organized with a bit more of a corporate feeling to it. Kind of like a miniature United Nations, but without all the greed and corruption. After all, it was the headquarters for the global TM organization.

I was at MERU when Maharishi passed away, and suddenly flew over to India to attend the grand ceremony. Yes, India. Who would have ever thought I would end up in India? It was a major culture shock. My heart and mind were not prepared for the trip. I stayed close with a few friends I made at MERU who became some of my most cherished friends even today.

We backpacked it through rickshaws and cows, hopping on trains, and spending the night at one-star hotels. There’s a reason why people who have gone to India bond instantly. It’s because they’ve experienced something most people have never seen. A few places we visited: New Delhi, Allahabad, Varanasi, Rishikesh, Himalayan villages and a random city in Jabalpur, where we visited palm leaf astrologists, called Brighu Pandits.

After 90 days of travel, spiritual growth, and stomach problems, we said farewell and some of us flew to Phuket, Thailand. It seemed like paradise with coconuts, durian and white sand beaches.

Life took a 360 turn around after my trip, though, when I got back home to my parents place. I was 25, and received a phone call to be invited to help with educational conferences in Japan for the summer. The only reason I was invited was because I graduated from MUM, was Japanese, and made a connection at MERU. I helped set up conferences in Hiroshima, Osaka, Kyoto, and Tokyo, which had some really high profile people.

Remember how I didn’t enjoy my Japanese school? It was basically the same situation, but worse. Go figure! I was too independent minded. I spoke when I wasn’t supposed to. Everything was backwards for me, and I must have upset a lot of “seniors” because I disturbed their way of doing things.

During the storm of cultural clash, I somehow met my wife, Yoko. There were three times in my life when I had a gut feeling of assurance. The first time was finding MUM. The second time was becoming an instructor of TM. The third was finding my wife. I’ve heard when the emotion and intellect integrate, there is a knowingness. It’s called intuition. It’s what I’ve based my life decisions on, and it hasn’t seemed to fail me. (Knock on wood)

From that moment on, my life was spun around, and I ended up marrying Yoko in less than a year of knowing each other. I began living in Japan without any plans or preparation, and really struggled to make ends meet at first. While gaining practical experience in life, such as paying the bills, working, and building a comfortable home, I simultaneously began to meet a lot of clairvoyants and clairaudients. The “SoCal” part of me would say “get-outta-here” but it’s just a normal day for me now. I don’t know why or how I meet them, but it’s just a reoccurring pattern. Must be some kind of pattern in nature.

Being in Japan, for me, has been a process of integrating my heart and mind, the left and right brain. I’ve been to high-end business seminars and personal development seminars. I’ve taught English for GABA, and rated with 5-stars at their Shinagawa office. I worked for a moving company, organic market, a farm, and as an international salesperson for a prototype car manufacturer. I don’t know what happened to all the samurais in Japan, but I think many of their offsprings work in the auto industry now. There’s a reason why Japan makes some of the best cars and technology in the world. There is a culture of being very organized, systematic and detail oriented.

After overworking, nearly breaking my back and having internal breakdowns from losing the "American” part of me, my wife and I had an intuition to become certified TM instructors and we both took a leap of faith. It was five and a half months of intensive meditation, training and bliss.

When Yoko and I graduated, we were ready to take on the world. We felt refreshed, filled with optimism and enthusiasm. Out of the group of teachers who graduated with us, we were the first to open our TM center in Akasaka. From a national average of 3 to 5 clients per month, we had 30 to 50 people sign up starting the first month. We already had a network of friends and clients who trusted us, and we used all our previous experience and knowledge about business to really make it a success. We soon became the most successful instructors in Japan, and became one of the highest performing teachers in the world.

No one grows with easy growth. All successful entrepreneurs experience a “punch in the face” that made them evolve and improve. I’ve experienced a fair share of my own, which had to do with a cloud of jealousy that overshadowed the blue sky above us and someone decided to close our center and take us off the map. It was one of those Japanese ninja tactics. I never received a clear answer as to what happened, but I can guess why. It’s one of those things in life you couldn’t do anything about, and it wasn’t worth fighting about. I decided to suck it up and move on.

We eventually managed to establish an independent TM organization in Japan with the approval from the international organization, and opened up our new TM center in Shinjuku, Japan, which is our current location. In the first 3 years, thousands of people have come through our doors.

We focused on nurturing our community, and created a wealth of loyal friends who referred their friends and family. We even had the privilege to teach an entire company with a hundred fifty employees. We have regular weekend retreat courses in Izu, and regular advanced lectures and courses around Japan. It may not be a place that everyone would be attracted to, but it seems fit for those people who like a positive, young and successful atmosphere, which is the way I like it.

The most difficult thing for me was learning patience to manage a company. Everything was new to me, and I had to learn about administration, finances, marketing, and sales, which I had no idea how to do. I only knew in my gut the direction I needed to take the company, but the process was very slow. It was the grind.

The only way to keep myself from giving up was cultivating my gratitude. The top things you need in creating a successful business is purpose, perseverance and patience. Without it, you’ll end up wanting to take shortcuts that eventually bite you back somewhere down the road.

I’ve been lucky with moments that seemed to be too good to be true. Call it serendipity or synchronicity, but when we were in the deep with our company, something or someone always seemed to come around to bring us back to where we needed to be. It’s like an invisible hand. I believe when you genuinely want to do good for others, and you’re doing your best to make it happen, the opportunity for luck to come into your life increases. I’ve been lucky many times in my life.

At the end of the day, no matter how hard the grind is, it comes down to joy and laughter. My wife thinks I’m the comedian, but she cracks me up multiple times a day. Laughter helps to keep things in perspective and makes the process so much more enjoyable. There are 99 million things to be worried and frustrated about everyday, but there’s always at least 1 thing you can find to laugh about. When I find it hard to find that one thing, it’s usually because I’m in the deep end of being too serious. I like to take a moment to smile at how intensely focused I am. Taking one step back, seeing the big picture, and just appreciating and finding the humor in every situation always helped me get through the darkest hours.

When you cultivate joy and laughter, it radiates and it’s what people are naturally attracted to. Everyone knows life isn’t easy, and if you don’t know, you probably still live with your parents or got a lucky break. When you radiate this joy, people want to be a part of it, and want to share it with others. We’ve been lucky to have a flow of referrals from our dedicated community only through word of mouth.

I have learned that in business your pipeline is your lifeblood and it always needs to be full. You have to constantly create awareness in prospective clients, provide enough information so they can do their own research and become interested, make an offer, deliver a good quality product or service, and follow up. You always need to have the energy flowing in your business. Otherwise, you’re not flowing. You’re not moving. That causes the wheels to stop turning and your company comes to a hault. Keeping your eyes on the whole process while focusing on the details takes some practice.

If done right, you can eventually create 500 true fans. It’s all you really need to create a success business and a comfortable life. For example, if you have 500 people who trust you, and like you and your services, they’re ready to be a part of your events, courses, and activities. Let’s say those 500 people purchase your $30 product or service. That’s $15,000. For most people, that’s a comfortable monthly income. For most businesses, that’s not all that difficult to achieve.

You start to create a culture where people gain value through the community and being together. Just how an organism is made of many microorganism, or how the galaxy is made of many stars and solar systems, your company becomes sustainable with 500 true fans.

Currently, I feel I’m getting ready to move on to another level in life beyond teaching TM and managing a TM center. After teaching hundreds of people and seeing the change in their life, I’m now drawn to helping others build a business that is fueled by their passion and purpose.

I need to do me. I have to keep following my intuition and joy. So I’ve created the Cosmic Entrepreneur program to help people build a mind body startup with 500 true fans. This can be beneficial for people just getting started or business owners who want to learn a more “zen” way of doing things. There really is no need to become a millionaire to live a good life. I’ve done a million and a half, and I can tell you it doesn’t really change anything other than the fact that you can buy more things. You still have to work on you, and I’m sure your wife will happily remind you of that.

Becoming wealthy isn’t a bad thing. However, it’s the unsatisfied small ego that wants to continuously grab a hold of millions and millions of dollars that you can’t even manage. It causes an imbalance of what you desire and what you actually need. This causes strain. All you need is to create a sustainable ecosystem in your business, so that you can enjoy the process called life. A business is always to support your lifestyle, not the other way around.

With the ever-changing field of marketing, online platforms, and social media, etc., it’s effecting the global economy and the large corporations. The media agencies on Wall Street are definitely feeling it.

I believe more and more people will want to become independent. There will be a growing number of house wives who start a home business and create their own independent income. More 14 year olds will become YouTubers and eBay flippers, rather than becoming hamburger flippers. Experienced professionals will become freelancers or contract workers, rather than caging themselves in a corporate environment. There is already a growing number of entrepreneurs and business owners, which only creates more opportunity for investors, angels, and philanthropists.

My intuition also tells me more and more people will want more balance between their happiness, health, and wealth. More people will want less B.S., such as these self-help gurus who don’t have real solution, talent or life experiences. People will steer away from these “make money fast” gurus who have never owned a real business. Those who took shortcuts may do well in the short term, but in the next 5, 10 or 20 years, the market will separate the authentic from the phony.

People will need to stop chasing an unreachable dream and become comfortable with who they really are, not what the media tells them to become. People will naturally enjoy more down time, family time, and being a part of a community. Technology, artificial intelligence, virtual reality and e-sports will change the way we use time, socialize and make purchases.

To be happy and comfortable, you don’t need to be a millionaire, be famous, or live each day to extremes as if it was the last day of your life. We just need to be ourselves, and less influenced by what others think of us. The next 5 or 10 years are going to challenge every one of us to find our purpose, perseverance, and patience.

Do you.

I’ve been in this business for about a decade now. I’ve met a lot of gooneys and some of the most amazing individuals. I’ve had my highs, and I’ve had my lows. I’m fascinated by it. I’m growing fast. I’m learning fast. I’m still a student of this stuff, but I have a service to offer for those of you getting started or want to take things to the next level.

I’m starting a series of talks called “Mind Body Startup with 500 True Fans.” It’s an integration of my new venture Cosmic Entrepreneur and TM Japan.

There is a process I created called Be-Do-Thrive. Be, meaning going within and getting to know yourself. Do, meaning finding a suitable business model that suits your lifestyle. Thrive, meaning utilizing the latest platforms to reach and nuture your 500 fans as quickly as possible. Topics include mind-body health, self-branding, building 500 true fans, latest marketing strategies through social media, and how meditation can help you in the process.

I hold lectures in Tokyo, which include a brief overview, a networking session to meet other participants, some demos, Q&A, and a mini-private session for those interested.

I also offer private sessions, live events and webinars, regular blog posts, videos, and share information on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Line, and Instagram. If you are interested, feel free to connect with me or email [email protected]

I wish you happiness, health and wealth, and most of all, I hope you enjoy the process of becoming more you.

Stay tuned to get the latest updates and insider’s tips.

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pursuitofbrattiness-blog · 7 years

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Second

Things have been stressful but otherwise pretty decent lately. My bf and I celebrated our first anniversary together and now we are beginning to look for places come August 1st. I started therapy weekly for the time being. My first real appointment is on the 29th. It's crazy how long this journey has taken. I always thought when you're in a dire situation like needing mental help or being suicidal that they swooped in and actually took care of you. Luckily there have been no copay so far, but my bill from the emergency behavioral outreach and the hospital have totaled $2400+. I keep saying I was taken involuntarily and I was, but it's not like I didn't need the help. The bills are a sobering reminder of where I was versus where I need to be. Sometimes I sit back and think where did my life go? I'm 27 now and don't see a very promising future, except if you are thinking in terms of retail management. My poor choices have limited me so much in my future. I have a poor credit score and work a job $3 ish dollars over minimum wage, so in turn I live in a shit hole, drive a shitty car, and have an overall shitty life. I try not to be mad or have any resentment toward anyone. Who am I kidding? I did this all to myself. Everything. So therefore I am the only one who can help myself get out of it. I used to do so much. Martial arts, honors student, gifted writer, won the geography bee, etc etc. And then everything just kind of ... changed. Gradually. I remember when I started dating. My first bf and I are still very good friends to this day. We were together for like two years. That is, if I could find him. This was before everyone had cell phones. You actually had to work for it. Anyway he came out of the closet and left me. I was unhappy at first but soon came to realize that I would be even more unhappy in a sham relationship and if I truly do love him for who he is (which I still do, always.), then I should be happy with him trying to find his own happiness. I feel like my existence is made up of chapters and each chapter is named after the boy or man I chose to be with in that period of time. I used relationships as a way to identify myself for so long that I lost touch with who I really was as a person. I'm not sure if I've still even found that girl yet. Overall I had a pretty decent childhood. We were never rich, but my parents always made sure we had everything we needed. My older sister and I each received an LL Bean backpack when we started first grade and we were expected to maintain it and keep it throughout elementary school, we had chores, after school program, etc. I started going to camp when I was around 8 and continued until 17. I took martial arts and aspired to do something with my life. My parents pushed us a lot though, and it was sometimes hard on us girls. They expected us to socialize and play outside with the other kids. When I was like maybe 5 I met the neighbor kids. It was soon after that I knew about sex, knew what a blow job was, and just generally things a 5 year old shouldn't know. I would say that one of the single worst memories I have in my entire life is this: Couldn't have been more than 6 years old at the time. The neighbor boy asked if I wanted to see something. He wasn't even that much older than me. Maybe 7? 8? It's really kind of fuzzy after 20 years. Anyway, of course I wanted to see something. He led me into the back hall to the apartment building we lived in and pulled down his pants, exposing his penis. He said now you. I wasn't exactly sure what to do or say. I do remember what I was wearing though. Minnie Mouse romper thing. Light up sneakers. I did what he said. He asked if I had ever sucked dick before. No, I replied cautiously. He told me to close my eyes and open my mouth. I did so. Wider he says. I tightened my eyes abs opened as wide as I could. And that's when I tasted it. It tasted like cigarettes and laundry detergent. It was brief. I pulled away and opened my eyes. I saw my sister and his sister staring in through the glass on the door we went through. I didn't know what to think. Didn't get it. Stuff like that happened between the brother and the sister and I until they finally moved away. To this day I know I'm not completely heterosexual and know that this probably was the catalyst. I have always been ashamed. Always hid it. Never wanted to talk about it. Would leave the room and feel uncomfortable if a lesbian couple was featured on TV, for instance. Nowadays I suppose the society we live in would say that I'm absolutely silly for hiding it. I never found out why I have such a shame for it. I'm bisexual through and through, but I really do prefer the company of men. It's weird. Sexuality is a vast and diverse thing, and talking about my own experience makes me understand a little bit more. Other bad things happened that I don't want to divulge right now. But they were really bad. And had a really profound impact on who I am as a person. I became the girl that automatically equates sex with love. Not necessarily a bad thing definitely, but it's also hurt me quite a bit. Men can be cruel. I can be, too, however. My second boyfriend was the prime example of this. I was 16 and he was 21 and I took advantage pretty damn hard. I mean, who wouldnt? I also took his virginity so nowadays I think about what he did and it makes more sense to me, especially given what I went through. Anyway this dude was getting SSI and I met him thru my ex boyfriend (yes the gay one) and on the internet kind of. It was a mixture. Anyway this dude had cerebral palsy and was getting like 550 a month. Of course once we started dating it was ALL going to me. Dumb shit, too. Dinners, $45 blankets at hot topic, just stupid shit. I was a kid so I liked dumb shit. He liked fucking a kid because he was/is a sexual predator. Ugh I got so fat and gross. I started the depo shot when I was like 16.5 or 17 and gained so much weight. I ended up getting pregnant and yeah something bad happened so we wont really go into detail about that. I started smoking weed as much as I could and drinking to legit get fucked the fuck up. Like puke, drink, repeat. Binge drinking. Soon the relationship between palsy dude and I was growing sour. He was starting to become physically abusive, and using items and marriage proposals, and cheap fucking 1/10 diamond rings from walmart to try to lure me in. I dropped out of high school and almost joined the fucking military. I quit martial arts. I was legit becoming a shell. Crying out for any attention I could at home. My parents were too busy trying to repair their marriage. I get it now, mom and dad. I can't even imagine how you guys did it all and managed to save your marriage. I understand why it had to be done. I acted like a casualty of it for years. It finally dawned on me that they were trying to save it for ME. For my sis and I. I'm truly grateful now. They are still together and seem to be more in love than ever. Someday I will have something this healthy. Anyway the first time palsy dude (and yes that is what he will be referred to as. First bf is gay bf. Deal with it. He loves it.) was physical with me was after some brief altercation we had had. I called him stupid. He was driving his fuckin piece of shit Intrepid and stopped short at a stop sign. He looked me dead in the eyes and wrenched my windpipe with his good hand. Don't you ever fucking call me that again. He said through gritted teeth. His forehead turned red and he started breathing heavily through his nose before shoving me backwards and letting me go. Instantly my eyes welled up with tears and I think .02 seconds after that, he was sorry. He was always fuckin sorry. It continued to get worse. Shoving me into walls, kicking me when I was laying in the fetal position crying. Blaming me for what happened when I got pregnant. Blowing my fuckin cell phone up and running up my parents bill, always wanted to know where I was. So I apparently had gradually decided months ago the best course of action was to make him my life and quit my sport, quit school, join the military and make him and army husband. It all sounds so fuckin ridiculous now, but that's what my plan was. Til shit started going sour. My parents intervened after finding out I had missed about 90 days of school. Everyday before I left, I unhooked the phone so when the school called looking for me, the line was unreachable. I ended up in alternative school where I learned math easily from a computer, and graduated high school with like a 3.2 average or something. I went to school 7 am to 10 am and worked as much as I could for a drug store downtown. Once I got that job I found my independence and literally decided one day I did not need to be treated the way palsy dude saw fit. I was hanging out more and more with gay ex bf and his little sister, among them their friends, which in turn became my friends. A veritable menagerie of different scenes, culminating into the love for two things. Partying, and trying to find the means to do so. I had a job so I would buy weed and booze any chance I could get and share with everyone. A lot of times I would go to gay ex bfs dad's house after school and wait for him to come over so we could hang and party. Smoke maybe do some pills and drink. There was another reason I would go over there. Gay ex bfs dad was a heroin addict and I felt really bad for him because he was very kind and gave me a lot of advice and tried to help me in my future. I feel like I was making him hamburger helper everyday for at least a few months. Always with a couple slices of cheese on top. He used to ask for it, but then I would just routinely go into the fridge and see what I could make for us. Sometimes when he would eat, he would start to go to sleep so I would make sure he stayed awake and smoked his cigarette and ate and had a drink of water before he fell asleep again. Sometimes I would make sure the little sister would get to school at a decent time, although no one could ever control her after you dropped her off at the middle school. I always loved that about her. She always marched to the beat of her own drum. Anyway, I broke up with palsy dude. He had been living in a rooming house in my city to be closer to me. I told him i was done. He smashed a ceramic mug he had and sliced his wrists over and over. I was in awe and surely did not know what to say or do. He blocked the door and cried to me to reconsider. I had to call the cops. I went to my friends house after and my friends mother consoled me. My parents picked me up and took me home. He killed the hamster he bought me after that I'm pretty sure. He harassed me for weeks. Finally the day after my 18th birthday he called my cell. Not sure why but I answered. He sounded hysterical as usual. I heard wind blowing into the speaker which meant he was outside somewhere. What the fuck do you want I said. He replied, through gritted teeth I'm sure, I wanted to do this on your birthday. Now the sound I heard after I can only describe as dropping a heavy book in an empty room, on a wood floor. The phone hung up. I looked at my friends who I was with at the time and said something to the effect of I think this motherfucker shot himself. So I decide to call back. This dude fucking answers. When I ask him what happened he confirmed my fear of shooting himself. But miraculously he DIDN'T DIE. BECAUSE AFTER HE TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED I CALLED FUCKIN 911. I GUESSED THAT HE WAS AT HIS PARENTS, THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY PLACE HE WENT THAT DIDN'T HAVE THE SOUND OF THE CITY IN THE BACKGROUND. Oh how right i was and they jetted on over to put his face back together. So they did plastic surgery and looks 100% better now, which makes my story even more fucking unbelievable. I mean I haven't seen him IN PERSON for years, almost a decade actually, but his Facebook (yes I creep) makes him look completely normal. Here's the fuckin kicker. I had to get a restraining order on him. He still tried his damndest to contact me through any means possible. I was scared and just wanted it all to be over so I finally got the balls to tell him to leave me alone or face jail time. Needless to say he did. He's in an unhappy marriage and has a child. I only know this because he is a Facebook creep too and COULD NOT RESIST seeing what's up with my fine ass after all these years. Basically said gl with the kids and shitty marriage douche. Man that felt good.

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andrewdburton · 5 years

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How the toss of a coin determined my fate

Hello! I have returned from my final big trip of the year, and I've resumed working behind the scenes here at Get Rich Slowly. Soon, new articles will begin to appear on this site.

Oh, wait. Here's a new article now!

On my most recent trip, I happened to tell the same story twice to two different groups. In doing so, I realized that it's a story I've never told here. That's unfortunate. It's about an event that had a profound impact on the course of my life — and my finances.

To bide the time while I work on longer articles, today I'd like to share how my fate was decided by the literal toss of a coin.

Going to College

My parents never pushed higher education on my brothers and me. Both my father and mother had attended church schools briefly — Goshen College for him, Brigham Young University for her — but neither one graduated. My uncle got a math degree from a local junior college, and my cousin Duane got a business degree from yet another church school.

Growing up, I can't remember that college was ever discussed in depth. It came up in conversation now and then, but there was never any expectation that my brothers and I would go.

But: I was a nerd. I hung out with other nerds. I read and I wrote. I entered math contests for fun. My favorite movies were about college and about college professors. I romanticized college life (and still do today).

Mitch and J.D., nerds in 1984, nerds in 2019

Because my parents were poor, I knew there was no way they'd be able to pay for my college education. It never entered my mind. If I wanted to attend school, I'd have to do it on my own. As a matter of fact, I thought that was how college worked for everyone.

I had no money saved of my own, so I took the only path available: Scholarships. I didn't get great grades in high school — I had a 3.29 GPA — but I got great grades where it counted. I did well in advanced classes; my low grades came from electives and physical education. (And, ironically, from my personal-finance class, in which I earned a D!)

I was also very active in clubs and activities. I was in choir. I was in drama. I was in the Future Business Leaders of America. I wrote for the newspaper. I edited the school literary journal. I was a leader in my church youth group.

Most importantly, I realized that doing well on the PSAT and the SAT were the key to unlocking high-value scholarships. Since I'd always done well on standardized tests, I prepped hard for these entrance exams. I nailed the PSAT. My SAT scores were good enough to back up the first test, so I got a National Merit Scholarship. Bingo! Plus, I applied for a ton of scholarships and won a few.

In the end, I was able to attend Willamette University in Salem for free. (And that's why I cannot write about student loans. I never had them.)

From Religion to Psychology

When I left for college, I was very religious. In fact, I intended to major in religion. My short-term goal — and I'm not joking — was to become a missionary to South America so that I could convert the “heathens”. My long-term goal was to become a youth pastor…and then a pastor.

I took a couple of religion courses during my freshman year. They made me an agnostic. (Something that would have dismayed my professors, if they'd known.) Comparative religion, especially, led me to question the beliefs I'd been so sure of just a year before.

Because I'd always been interested in psychology — and because psychology is somewhat similar to religion — I decided to study that instead. I found it fascinating.

At first, I wanted to focus on child psychology. Or maybe to teach elementary school. (I spent a semester doing an elementary ed “practicum”, meaning I was a teaching assistant in a first-grade classroom.) During my sophomore and junior years, I focused my attention on psychology and teaching. I decided to become a grade-school teacher.

Kris and I had begun dating by this time. She too decided she wanted to teach — but she wanted to teach high-school chemistry. Early in our senior year, we both took the NTE, the National Teacher Exam. I scored higher than she did, which remains one of my proudest achievements. But she followed through with teaching. I didn't.

The Flip of a Coin

In the final semester of my senior year, I took my final psychology course: “Techniques of Counseling”. This class was taught by an actual clinical therapist with a practice in Salem, Oregon. I loved it. This felt like work that I was meant to do.

I loved it so much, in fact, that I did something very, very stupid. Instead of pursuing education, I put that possible career path on hold. While Kris applied to pursue a Master of Arts in teaching, I went “all in” on psychology and counseling. Except that I went “all in” without any idea what I needed to do to pursue the career. And without a backup plan.

I didn't apply to graduate programs. I didn't look for work in Salem. I didn't do anything. Instead, I trusted to the Fates, as I always had. For once, the Fates were not kind.

Toward the end of my counseling course, the professor pulled two of us students aside. “J.D. and Kari”, he said — Kari was an ex-girlfriend who was also taking the class — “you are my two top students. I'd like to offer one of you an internship, but I can't decide which. You would both make excellent counselors, but I only have room for one of you at my practice. What I'd like to do is flip a coin. The winner will get to work with me. Does that sound fair?”

We both said yes. I lost the coin toss. I didn't go into counseling. I didn't go into teaching. I went to work for my father, selling boxes for our family box business.

Chance or Choice?

My destiny was decided by chance. Only it wasn't. Yes, I lost that coin flip, which meant I didn't get the gig as intern for my counseling professor. But what happened after that is wholly on me. I just didn't realize it then…or for another 25 years.

In retrospect — and this is something I've only come to understand in the past five years — that coin toss decided very little. I was the one who decided my fate based on the result of that toss.

Think about it.

I could have asked my professor if he knew of any other practices in Salem that might be interested in an intern. He'd already told me he thought I did quality work. He would have been willing to help.

I could have asked him to write a personal recommendation, then used that recommendation to pursue graduate studies. Or other opportunities in the field.

I could have followed up to see whether or not Kari actually accepted the internship. From my memory, this was the last time I ever saw her. I've checked Facebook over the years, but haven't been able to track her down. Did she do that internship? Is she a counselor today? I have no idea…and I wonder. But there's a chance she didn't take the opportunity, which means it would have been available to me.

Instead of passively accepting my “fate”, I could have taken action and applied (late, yes) to teaching and/or psychology graduate programs.

In 1991, because of my upbringing, I had an external locus of control.

I believed that outside people and events controlled my future. Today, nearly thirty years later, I have very much the opposite view. I believe that I control my future.

What would my life have been like if I'd taken action when I was 22 instead of remaining passive? I don't know. In some ways, it doesn't matter. I like who I am and what I've become. I wouldn't be the person I am today without losing that coin toss, without selling boxes for seventeen years. I can't regret my decision.

All the same…I wonder.

More to the point, part of my mission in life is to encourage young people to actively determine the course of their lives. Don't be passive. Don't let other people and events determine who you are and who you'll become. To the extent that you are able, be the captain of your destiny.

The post How the toss of a coin determined my fate appeared first on Get Rich Slowly.

from Finance https://www.getrichslowly.org/toss-of-a-coin/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

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n0rthernenglish-blog · 6 years

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Setting the Tone

It’s September. And a brand new school year is here.

I’ll be honest. As a teacher I think there are things I’m naturally pretty good at, and then the things that I’ve had to work really, really freaking hard at. Classroom management was a big one of the latter in the first years of my career, and it still is. So especially at the beginning of the year, I think very intentionally about how to approach our year. When we have a relationship, when we have a routine, then things can go smoothly. But when you start fresh on the first day with a brand new group of kids, I think it’s so important to convey exactly what you mean to, and for that you have to be intentional.

So, this year will be my fifth year teaching. Here’s what I did to set the tone for our year on our first day:

1. I condensed my list of rules. Depending on the classroom management approach you read from, you’ll get a mix of advice. The rule of thumb that seems to make the most sense to me is that less is more, and it does a class no good to list 10 rules. But on the other side of the coin are those who say you need to be proactive and spell out everything you will not tolerate before it occurs. You need to have set consequences and spell out on day one that if you throw things, you’ll get a phone call home to mom. Period.

...I have a lot of problems with this approach. Although I believe in consistency, isn’t it also important to note that fairness is not always equal? Maybe a consequence isn’t going to look the same across the board. Maybe you’re not going to call home for that student who you fear gets really strict consequences from his parents...and by strict I mean, the kind where you fear for his safety. Maybe the kid who doesn’t care about getting lunch detention shouldn’t be given it just because to someone else, it’s the worst consequence for them. So what I mean is, I think we should give ourselves a little more credit than to lay everything out on day one. We should give ourselves a little more flexibility and ownership to make decisions as we see them fit.

This year I kept it simple. I have two rules: work hard, and be kind (copied from Kelly Gallagher). Does it really have to be any more than that? And so on the first day I explained each of these rules a bit and how I keep a daily point system to ensure we’re meeting them, and that’s it (for point system, see Michael Linsin’s Smart Classroom Management for High School). I don’t think I need to explain how name calling isn’t being kind, or showing up late to class isn’t working your hardest. If I have to, I can define the two rules further later on. But why should I make an all-inclusive list for my students? To me, it seems like saying “don’t do this” only subliminally says to them that I don’t trust them. I have issue with that. So this year I’m approaching it differently.

And 2. The other main thing I made sure to do intentionally was to immediately begin to drive home to them how much they matter and to build community. I began by saying to my students who I had last year how excited I was to have them again in class, to see how much more we could grow this year. To all, I delivered a story from my childhood.

The story began with me saying, “I remember the worst my father had ever yelled at me when I was a little kid.” It’s like magic, when you can see the kids who were previously zoning out physically regain attention and look back to focus on you. After this attention-getter, I continued: “My brother and I were little kids, and we acted as most siblings do. We were constantly just bickering all of the time over every little thing. So on this particular evening, we were in some silly argument as usual, and my dad came in the room with his face bright red. He was the angriest I had ever seen him, and although he said a lot to us in that speech, there was one line that stuck with me.” I’d pause for dramatic effect before continuing, “He said to us, ‘you two are going to need each other some day.’”

And I’d continue for my students: “That’s how I feel about our community. Love it or hate it, we are a part of such a small, tight knit school. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re all best friends, but you do need to respect one another. Because there will come a day when you will need somebody else in this room. Choose carefully the way you treat one another.”

I’m not just spewing empty words here, and saying things I don’t mean. My school has a population of about 30 students per grade level...yes, you heard me right. Thirty kids in each GRADE. Sometimes, this makes things tougher, but other times, it can be such a beautiful thing. This past summer our district faced a tragedy where we lost one of our students. And I have never, ever seen a district so rallied together, and so deeply impacted by one person. It didn’t matter that the boy was 19 - even my 9th graders had personal memories with the student. The elementary component even knew him well and struggled with his loss. And so the community grieved together, and rallied together to pay respects and console the family in ways I had never seen before. So yes, I mean it - we need one another. I am determined that my room be a place where this is reiterated and preached every single day.

To build this, I told my students they will have a different assigned seat every day for at least the first couple of weeks. I quickly spread out their name tags before they come in the room, so they know off the bat it’s an expectation that they will work with every other person in this room. I show them a brief glimpse of my speaking and listening standards, which convey to them that New York State expects that they should all be able to work and collaborate with one another. And we value that in this room.

Finally, on their writing tasks they produced for me on the first day, students responded to the questions: “What was one thing you found success with last year? What will success look like in the coming year? So, what specifically do you want to make a point to do well at?” I made a point the first day after school to read and briefly respond in writing to each one of these. Yes, it got a little time consuming, and if you don’t have thirty students in a graduating class, I get how daunting this may be. But boy, do I think it’s important.

I didn’t always respond anything necessarily profound, but I made a point to say something like, “I am so excited to get to be your teacher this year,” to each one of them. That’s it. And by the way, I also noticed one student who didn’t fill out the prompt. I wondered if this was laziness/reluctance, but I also wondered if he just takes longer to process and work, and if there was some greater need going on. So on his, I wrote, “I apologize if you didn’t have enough time to respond! I’d love if you could write something in response to this when you get a chance, and could turn it back into me. I look forward to getting to know you this year and being able to help you however I can.”

I don’t think I did anything magical, but I did try on day one to make sure to directly state to them the intentions I have for our community. Why I used to keep this a secret just to myself what I was trying to accomplish, I have no idea haha. :) So here’s to a brand new year, and working hard to intentionally create a safe, valued place for my students to learn in.

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theconservativebrief · 6 years

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President Donald Trump announced on Monday, July 9, that he was nominating Brett Kavanaugh, a federal judge on the DC Circuit Court of Appeals, to fill retiring Justice Anthony Kennedy’s Supreme Court seat. The anticipated decision was announced during a prime-time television special. You can read more here about the background and implications of Trump’s choice.

Below is a full rush transcript of the press conference.

President Donald Trump: My fellow Americans, tonight I speak to you from the east room of the White House regarding one of the most profound responsibilities of the President of the United States. And that is the selection of a Supreme Court justice. I have often heard that other than matters of war and peace, this is the most important decision a president will make. The Supreme Court is entrusted with the safeguarding of the crown jewel of our republic — the Constitution of the United States. 12 days ago, Justice Anthony Kennedy informed me of his decision to take senior status on the Supreme Court, opening a new vacancy. For more than four decades, Justice Kennedy served our nation with incredible passion and devotion. I’d like to thank Justice Kennedy for a lifetime of distinguished service. [Applause]

In a few moments, I will announce my selection for Justice Kennedy’s replacement. This is the second time I have been faced with this task. Last year I nominated Judge Neil Gorsuch to replace the late, great Justice Antonin Scalia. [Applause] I chose Justice Gorsuch because I knew that he, just like Justice Scalia, would be a faithful servant of our constitution. We are honored to be joined tonight by Justice Scalia’s beloved wife, Maureen. [Applause] Thank you, Maureen.

Both Justice Kennedy and Justice Scalia were appointed by a president who understood that the best defense of our liberty and a judicial branch immune from political prejudice were judges that apply the Constitution as written. That president happened to be Ronald Reagan. For this evening’s announcement, we are joined by Ronald Reagan’s attorney general, Edwin Meese. [Applause] And, Ed, I speak for everyone. Thank you for everything you’ve done to protect our nation’s great legal heritage.

In keeping with President Reagan’s legacy, I do not ask about a nominee’s personal opinions. What matters is not a judge’s political views but whether they can set aside those views to do what the law and the constitution require. I am pleased to say that I have found, without doubt, such a person.

Tonight it is my honor and privilege to announce that I will nominate Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court. [Applause] I know the people in this room very well. They do not stand and give applause like that very often. So they have some respect and Brett’s wife, Ashley, and their two daughters, Margaret and Liza have joined us on the podium. Thank you and congratulations to you as a family. Thank you. [Applause]

Judge Kavanaugh has impeccable credentials, unsurpassed qualifications, and a proven commitment to equal justice under the law. A graduate of Yale College and Yale Law School, Judge Kavanaugh currently teaches at Harvard, Yale, and Georgetown. Throughout legal circles, he is considered a judge’s judge, a true thought leader among his peers. He’s a brilliant jurist with a clear and effective writing style universally regarded as one of the finest and sharpest legal minds of our time. And just like Justice Gorsuch, he excelled as a clerk for Justice Kennedy. That’s great. Thank you. [Applause]

Judge Kavanaugh has devoted his life to public service. For the last 12 years, he has served as a judge on the DC Circuit court of appeals with great distinction, authoring over 300 opinions which have been widely admired for their skill, insight, and rigorous adherence to the law. Among those opinions are more than a dozen that the supreme court has adopted as the law of the land. Beyond his great renown as a judge, he is active in his community. He coaches CYO basketball, serves meals to needy families, and having learned from his mom, who was a schoolteacher in DC, tutors children at local elementary schools. There is no one in America more qualified for this position and no one more deserving.

I want to thank the senators on both sides of the aisle, Republican and Democrat, for their consultation and advice during the selection process. This incredibly qualified nominee deserves a swift confirmation and robust bipartisan support. The rule of law is our nation’s proud heritage. It is the cornerstone of our freedom. It is what guarantees equal justice, and the Senate now has the chance to protect this glorious heritage by sending Judge Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court. And now, Judge, the podium is yours. [Applause]

Brett Kavanaugh: Mr. President, thank you. Throughout this process, I have witnessed firsthand your appreciation for the vital role of the American judiciary.

No president has ever consulted more widely or talked with more people from more backgrounds to seek input about a supreme court nomination. Mr. President, I am grateful to you, and I’m humbled by your confidence in me. 30 years ago, President Reagan nominated Anthony Kennedy to the Supreme Court. The framers established that the Constitution is designed to secure the blessings of liberty. Justice Kennedy devoted his career to securing liberty. I am deeply honored to be nominated to fill his seat on the Supreme Court. [Applause]

My mom and dad are here. I am their only child. When people ask what it’s like to be an only child, I say it depends on who your parents are. I was lucky. My mom was a teacher. In the 1960s and ’70s, she taught history at two largely African-American public high schools in Washington, DC, McKinley Tech and HD Woodson. Her example taught me the importance of equality for all Americans. My mom was a trailblazer. When I was ten, she went to law school and became a prosecutor. My introduction to law came at our dinner table when she practiced her closing arguments. Her trademark line was, “Use your common sense. What rings true? What rings false?” That’s good advice for a juror and for a son. One of the few women prosecutors at that time, she overcame barriers and became a trial judge. The president introduced me tonight as Judge Kavanaugh. But to me, that title will always belong to my mom. My dad went to law school at night while working full time. He has an unparalleled work ethic and has passed down to me his passion for playing and watching sports. I love him dearly. The motto of my Jesuit high school was “Men for others.” I’ve tried to live that creed. I’ve spent my career in public service from the executive branch in the White House to the US Court of appeals for the DC Circuit. I’ve served with 17 other judges, each of them a colleague and a friend. My judicial philosophy is straightforward. A judge must be independent and must interpret the law, not make the law. A judge must interpret statutes as written. And a judge must interpret the Constitution as written, informed by history and tradition and precedent.

For the past 11 years, I’ve taught hundreds of students primarily at Harvard Law School. I teach that the Constitution’s separation of powers protects individual liberty, and I remain grateful to the dean who hired me, Justice Elena Kagan. As a judge, I hire four law clerks each year. I look for the best. My law clerks come from diverse backgrounds and points of view. I am proud that a majority of my law clerks have been women.

I am part of the vibrant Catholic community in the DC Area. The members of that community disagree about many things, but we are united by a commitment to serve. Father John Ensler is here. 40 years ago I was an altar boy for Father John. These days I help him serve meals to the homeless at Catholic Charities.

I have two spirited daughters, Margaret and Liza. Margaret loves sports, and she loves to read. Liza loves sports, and she loves to talk. [Laughter] I have tried to create bonds with my daughters like my dad created with me. For the past seven years, I’ve coached my daughters’ basketball teams. The girls on the team call me Coach K. [Laughter] I am proud of our bless sacrament team that just won the city championship. [Applause] My daughters and I also go to lots of games. Our favorite memory was going to the historic Notre Dame/UConn women’s basketball game at this year’s final four. Unforgettable.

My wife, Ashley, is a West Texan, a graduate of Abilene Cooper Public High School and the University of Texas. She is now the town manager of our community. We met in 2001 when we both worked in the White House. Our first date was on September 10, 2001. The next morning, I was a few steps behind her as the secret service shouted at all of us to sprint out the front gates of the White House because there was an inbound plane. In the difficult weeks that followed, Ashley was a source of strength for President Bush and for everyone in this building. Through bad days and so many better days since then, she has been a great wife and inspiring mom. I thank god every day for my family. [Applause]

Tomorrow I begin meeting with members of the Senate, which plays an essential role in this process. I will tell each senator that I revere the Constitution. I believe that an independent judiciary is the crown jewel of our constitutional republic. If confirmed by the Senate, I will keep an open mind in every case, and I will always strive to preserve the Constitution of the United States and the American rule of law. Thank you, Mr. President. [Applause]

Original Source -> Trump nominates Brett Kavanaugh to Supreme Court: full transcript

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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jewishmuseumldn · 6 years

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Fragments of Childhood – Then and Now

by Jemima Jarman, Assistant Curator

The Jewish Museum London recently received a generous donation of 14 charming oil paintings, depicting East Ham, Ilford in the 1930s. The artist, A. David Crown, M.D., (1924-2016), created these paintings after retiring from a medical career in Rochester, New York; drawing upon memories of his early childhood and the neighbourhood he grew up in. Each painting is accompanied with written memories of the place he depicts.

The subjects of his paintings include street scenes, shop fronts, cinemas, synagogues and London buses. Each painting is full of warmth and character in which Crown’s childhood memories are depicted in bright colours and where each scene bursts with nostalgic detail. Dr. Crown wrote in his opening statement: “The paintings do not exactly depict the places, nor are they to scale…but they show what cannot be said. And the accompanying brief recollections have said what cannot be shown.”

Both the series of paintings and the written memoirs were entrusted to the Jewish Museum London by Dr. David Crown’s widow, Deborah Cohen-Crown; who has enabled these stories and images of a Jewish childhood in 1930’s Britain to be shared with future generations.

Of the 14 oils, 6 have been selected to feature in this blog post with Crown’s own (edited) text accompanying them.

King’s Dairy

“King's Dairy was across High Street North, beside a short road to the Salisbury Elementary School. It was, I was told, the last actual dairy with cows in Greater London. Indeed, there were cows behind the store front - I went past them and smelled them every school day till I was nearly eleven.

Behind it was my school (not that colour of course). The stairs are where Ivor Good, Saul Cohen, David Miller, Dennis Morris and I nightly fought Gerald Cox and his Jew hating friends many many nights when we came out from classes to go home. Ivor was not Jewish but as we were outnumbered and he adored ideas of chivalry and was taller than us and a good fighter, he was very welcome.

My memories of that school are prolific - of Miss Lindsell who encouraged me to write and in whose classroom at my suggestion we created a lending library which failed dismally - the books were stolen. She's the one who, when I used words like "ichthyology" and "Jewfish" denied they existed. Also that darned anti-Semitic Mr. James who caned me and threatened me with his Luger on the last day before Christmas vacation, when I was ten, because of my response to Dennis William Davis's crude note depicting a "wandering Jew." My drawing was better! So was my reply but James intercepted it, caned me, and as a result the four Jews in the class were segregated in the far back corner and told to be silent throughout the festivities or he would shoot us.”

Fire Engine Fanny

“The bridge over the railway where the Manor Park Station was located was ideal for roller skating. The game required that you waddled up the hill like a person wearing skis and then come whizzing down, turning the corner at the bottom or else you would shoot off the curb and into the road, possibly into the path of oncoming vehicles - potentially dangerous. In the painting there are only two of us whereas usually there were many more, even 5 or 6.

The first house round the corner, with its hinged gate and gravel path, led to the door of Fire Engine Fanny, so named for her bright red nose. At night, usually frosty and cold, we would silently (except for suppressed giggles) unlatch the gate and shuffle with our skates on to the front door...then we would bang loudly on her door, yell insults through her letter box and flee.

In the painting the coalman's dray horse is coming over the crest with his sacks of coal. But on the way up the other side the horses would often slip slide and stumble to their knees. Their steel shoes on the cobbles would throw up comet-like showers of sparks. I was fascinated when these horses would urinate, a torrent of steaming splashing yellow pee. And I would watch when they lifted their tails to deposit mounds of steaming straw-filled poop on the road. The sparrows loved it. I have left some of it on the road in the picture!”

Cheder

“Carlisle Street was a very ordinary street, gray with rowhouses on both sides. About two hundred yards down on the south side was the synagogue. The rabbi, actually a chazen, was Mr. Miller. The front cement yard was quite small and on religious holidays it was packed with men taking a breather. It was enclosed by 6 foot walls except for the entrance. Then came the huge double wooden doors and once inside it was suddenly dark till ones eyes adjusted.

There was a room off to the side with rows of desks for our cheder. The teacher, a short man with an agitated shiny bald head and a few strands of greasy hair, mustard-coloured stains down his front and smelling of stale sweat and pickled herring, would stride up and down the aisles very excited. He carried a black ruler and if he came up behind you and found you were inattentive (like having your book open at the wrong page) he would crack you across your knuckles with that ruler. I did not like him. I did not like being pent in. I played truant, cricket or soccer or street games being preferable. I missed class as often as I could but I had to attend one day each month. That was the day dad gave me 2/6 to pay for my lessons. I knew that if I did not show up that day with the money, questions would be asked, and the truth would come out.

The last time I saw the synagogue a few years ago, it was disused, locked up, derelict with barbed wire along the walls.”

Barber’s Bakery

“The bakery was a family run affair - rather "low life" types. The toy miniature loaves of Hovis, 1d (1 penny each) were my favourite. I would have it all to myself. I spent a lot of time in the back room where the ovens were, swatting numerous flies for Mr. Barber. But I stopped helping him this way when I encountered a corpse in my slice of raisin bread!

The bakery was very 2nd rate, 3rd, 4th even. Behind the shop the family of 6 or 7 lived and they bought their potatoes by the sack - I'd never seen that before or for that matter, since. One Christmas when we had all of our family and friends for dinner, dad bought a 30+lb turkey which wouldn't fit our oven but he arranged with Mr. Barber to cook it in his bread oven- along with some neighbour’s turkeys. I went with him on that cold day, to carry it home on a wooden board from the bakery...very slowly along the slippery alley and home by the back gate.”

Spare a Copper

“I go to the movies almost every Saturday afternoon. The Coronation Cinema was probably opened at the beginning of the reign of George V and Mary. For 3 pence you saw two features, assorted shorts (Pathe Gazette, a couple of gay fellows in tennis togs or evening dress, one playing the piano while the other leans languorously against it and sings daft stuff, and several animated cartoons). And there's an interval when the lights come on for a while and the theatre organ mysteriously rises from profound depths for a recital. All organists seem to be named Reginald. All for three pence. Of course, when the lights are down and the scant audience's cigarette smoke curls up through the flickering beams of the movie, I sneak down to the front sixpenny seats. I might stay on to see the movie, or part of it twice, moving to a different seat believing the usher won't catch me- he doesn't care. The biggest problem was getting into the theatre because sometimes the film was Adult rated. Kids not allowed in except accompanied by an adult. So you hung around the entrance and kept running up to people who were going in and asked them to take you in with them. It never failed. "I've got me thruppence mister...will you take me in?" “The last time I saw the Coronation it was a bingo hall.”

Eels

“The fishmonger was about 8 houses north of 484. The shop was an add-on in front of a rather singular row house. The proprietor was a very friendly man and I would go into his shop and ask him for some oil-paper which was a heavy tracing paper. The fish was wrapped in this and then the package was wrapped in newspaper. I wanted the tracing paper to trace magazine pictures which I would subsequently show to my mother, “Chops”, and claim they were original drawings. No one was fooled. But I developed many variations such as placing the drawing face down on a white piece of paper and rubbing the back to create a reverse image. And I discovered how to enlarge pictures to scale, portraits too, by drawing a grid and transferring it another piece of paper larger than the original. I loved to draw and water colour. When I stated I wanted to grow up to be an artist Leon (my brother) told me it was forbidden for Jews to make a graven image, especially a Cohen. Till my mid-teens I believed there were no Jewish artists! ”

#curatorial

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technicallymedia · 6 years

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Meet Christopher Wink: an interview with Technically Media’s Cofounder/CEO

What did you think of Brian James Kirk when you first met him and when were you like "yeah dude I wanna be partners in business with you for the next 9+ years"

I first met @brianjameskirk as undergrads at our college newspaper and I absolutely saw Brian as this stoner designer dude. He saw me as a preppy kiss ass. It took a year for us to come together. We’ve grown and changed together a ton. Here we are now!

What were you like as a teen, were you nice to nerds?

I was surely the nerd to some myself. I think I had become a decent dude by high school. In contrast, I was a bit of a brat in elementary and middle school. I was always an "involved" person but by my teens I was likely even more similar to how I am now: I said a lot of ridiculous things and always had some scheme or project. I think that and playing sports (basketball and soccer) let me dip into several social groups.

When are you running for office and what's your policy platform?

If I'm running for office (which is clearly not in any immediate horizon for me), my platform would be very centrist-y and trying to make the word "compromise" distinct from "compromised." Historically social movements have lasted when they've been about gaining widespread popular opinion. Economic development through entrepreneurship would be a focus.

Who is your favorite person besides Shannon and Brian James Kirk?

My father is deeply influential on me, I’ve traveled on annual road trips with my childhood friend Michael. Considering what you’re asking me, Patrick BIG TIMBS McNeil is my best friend and would likely be the person I have the most intimacy beyond Shannon and Brian James Kirk.

What's one thing you never expected to be hard about starting a company?

I think I remain surprised by how many decisions are neither the RIGHT nor WRONG one but instead are simply choices. Choices that WILL hurt someone and help someone else. I find clean decisions are very rare. Life is messy and you get put in a position of guess work. Growing a company is 1,000 choices that in the moment no one very much agrees on.

What's your spirit animal?

Spirit animal. I'm gonna be real with you, I'm v into the domestic house cat. But I might go with a nurse shark because they look fierce but they actually don't kill, they're just kinda badass. I saw a bunch of them while snorkeling off the coast of Belize last year and was blown away.

What did running with the bulls in Pamplona feel like and was it worth it?

Running with the bulls probably best travel decision of my life. The moments before it started was the most scared I had felt in a "safe" public place.

Gratuitous video of part of it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziZyUa9Dt24

You're tall as hell dude, did you ever consider playing basketball ? I'm thinking you coulda played small forward at a Div 2 school at least bruh.

I played basketball growing up and into high school! Last night I was telling the story that so crystallizes the kinds of relationships I tend to have. When I was a senior, we had an exceptional point guard (1k+ career points) and so my entire job as the other guard was to just give him the ball and then go play defense. Late that season against our arch rivals, the team came out and started immediately double teaming him. I was open a lot and got hot and scored 20 points in the first half (mind you, I’m maybe averaging 7 points per game). At halftime my closest high school friend says to me "I guarantee you don't score another point in this game." .......He was correct

Did you win a high school superlative? If so, did you ask people to vote for you?

Yes! I was "Class Clown" and "Most Involved. " I was runner up for "Most Likely to Succeed" and still plan on surpassing that friend to own it. Admittedly, I went to a pretty small school :)

What's your favorite Technical.ly memory to date

Favorite Technical.ly memory to date. Real talk, I always have a favorite moment that happened in the last few weeks because I really seriously no BS love the evolution and growth and seeing us get better together. So always a v recent thing is my favorite memory. But because I don't think that's really what you want meant to say, I'll instead say the kickoff of Philly Tech Week 2013 when we did our first outdoor kickoff and after we almost finished the later-Guinness Book of World Records confirmed world's largest video game by playing Pong on the Cira Center, a torrential storm crashed over us. This photo is @brianjameskirk Corinne Warnshuis, Juliana Reyes, Andrew Zaleski and I holding tarps over arcade games we had rented and were afraid we’re gonna get destroyed

Can we get an office dog? just met a really cute Australian shepherd puppy

Communities are platforms on which collective action can take place. You are empowered to gain consensus among the team and keep, maintain and care for a dog, yes.

What advice do you give 21 year old CGW?

Advice I'd give 21-year-old CGW? (1) Do not self-deprecate needlessly. (2) Start a focus on email subscribers sooner with Technical.ly (3) Do more family stuff

What's your favorite story that's ever run in any of our markets/brands?

Favorite story that has run in our markets, I'm gonna go with two because there have been thousands. Off-hand, the Tyler Woods Startup Founder on Welfare story stuck with me and I think about it a lot. Yes, it isss probably something that would run elsewhere but it felt v much OF us, like a relationship built because of deep ties that was trying to be REAL about something. PRODUCTIVE https://technical.ly/brooklyn/2016/01/12/inside-welfare-office-anonymous-startup-founder/

And I'd sadly point to a byline of mine but more because of what it was for the org as a whole. This piece was a big pivot point for us

https://technical.ly/philly/2011/04/25/how-open-data-philly-got-done/

When we were INVOLVED in launching OpenDataPhilly and I can't underscore how WEIRD that was. We had a lot of internal conversations, including @brianjameskirk and I about whether it was OK that we had reported on WHAT the city needed and could we be INVOLVED In it

I think about the full disclosure at the top of that story a lot. It threw us into a lot of open data and civic conversations, but it also set up HOW we approached being a PART Of our community. I think not long after we changed the tagline to "Better Cities through Technology"

Fave place you've traveled

I lived in Tokyo for a bit less than a year and so fitting in my interest in time to get to know a place, that stands out to me a bunch. It is this international city so it’s so easy to go and it not be special but living in a neighborhood and having neighbors and a grocery shop was really profound. I did so much writing and reading it was profound. It was also where I first started as a bicycle commuter.

What's the most embarrassing professional moment you've ever had and, I guess, what did you learn from it?

Early on, I remember not knowing what SaaS was during an interview and I fumbled my faking it and it resulted in several weeks of me having nightmares of being on CNBC for an interview and embarrassing us all. So I got obsessed with returning to a basic business and tech background, preparing for disruptive questions

If you could pick, what would be your superpower?

Invisibility always stands out to me as lowkey powerful. But maybe SUPER LINGUAL, like, where I could speak any and all languages

What was the most hilarious/ridiculous thing that happened to you in a professional moment?

My oft-cited memory of me finding out I had a giant hole in the crotch of my only pair of thrift store khakis after I had sat down w/ my first big client meeting (that is the rock bottom moment that turned around my relationship with clothes)

Is the future of journalism bright or dreary?

Journalism bright or dreary? Yah, for me, journalism is a THING you do, like producing software open source, so I think its future is super bright, so long as there are practitioners like us passionate about its utility. I was able to pull five-county criminal records last night in an hour online for this story I'm reporting. I am better sourced because of web tools, so journalism is easier to do. Building it into business models (like we're doing,) that is really hard and it's the most important thing I think I'm working on but the strategy of making public information that is true accurate and helps other people is v bright

What's your inbox at rn?

Ooff, rn I'm inbox 64, with 25 unread!!! It has been a busy yesterday and this morning. I'll leave today with that at 20~ with all read and w/ necessary actions cleaned up in Asana.

What's the next Chris Wink side project after the retirement of Story Shuffle?

I came to reporting from the writing side first. There is nothing I love more in the world than writing. In the last 18-months I've been picking back up some creative writing and so I'll be putting some real time into getting a few modest pieces published on that form. I def self-identify still as a journalist but really, more than reporting, it's the writing I love. I want to move a bigger effort there (Story Shuffle was always part of that longer term strategy too )

You're good at talking about yourself and exceptionally self-aware. Advice for knowing when to STFU and when to dig deeper?

I think journalism training is soooooo good for self-discovery. I think it really starts with accepting yourself. You'll get teased for (as I do) for being self-referential or self-involved but I think it's really important to be able to say I REALLY LIKE THESE THINGS ABOUT ME but also be able to say THESE ARE THINGS I REALLY WISH I WAS BETTER AT. And then attacking both of those with questions. You can internally interview yourself like you would. I want to be able to understand why I am good at some stuff and why I'm crummy at other stuff. Self-improvement is v cool,but it starts w/ some self-love.

Do you like being surprised?

Nah, I don't like being surprised. It's probably part of the whole reporting love. I want to be the one who knows stuff, not surprised.

If you were not the CEO of Technically Media, what would you be doing?

If not in my job now? Realistically, probably a reporter somewhere, likely in/around politics/government. Less likely but relevant, maybe ended up cofounding a dif kind of company or in some other purely writing role.

When you come back into the office can you show us your signature dance move?

I assume you mean my interpretive dance performance "Swallowed frog." No! I'm all for embarrassing shit WITHOUT CAMERAS. I say let people live and be silly and keep the cameras for things strangers can see. Intimacy doesn't do well w/ recorded archives

Best marriage advice?

Take a half-hour walk every single night together.

When did you get your first phone? What type of phone was it? What was your background picture? And, did you have a ringback tone (if so, what song).

I got my first phone when I was a sophomore in high school (!) when I got my learner's permit for driving. I remember using a pay phone to get picked up as an 8th grader. I'm pretty sure that phone literally did not support background images or ringtones.

Been wanting to visit Tokyo for years. Any tips for traveling there?

Tokyo (Edo) was constructed over time as a medieval place to protect from attack, so the streets intentionally do not make sense. It's the opposite of Center City. (London got confusing just over time, Tokyo is intentionally built as a confusing fucking place to navigate. ....So def have .GPS access...or don't and just leave time for getting lost. Eat at every ramen shop under a train stop. The tiniest old men with craggy faces and expressionless smiles will serve you at the counter and then bow, and you will bow in return. It will be nice. Fun Tokyo story we've already talked about, I was part of a lil NBCU pilot online reality show jawn and I got lost in all the episodes

Who's a person outside of Technical.ly (or Shannon) you would turn to for management advice?

I talk to my father weekly on the phone and I find his perspective interesting. He works at a small concrete, stone and tile manufacturing company and I find his perspective on what is normal in the workplace. I also have always been moved by his pragmatism and quiet generosity.

What motivates you?

It is v internal facing. I am v demanding of myself to be better than I was before. I don't like things that I don't understand how to get better at. So: to be a better version of myself than I was. Shannon and I talk about that: that we're supposed to keep becoming better versions of ourselves for the other

Who are the top 3 journos out there you would pay / do pay to read?

So the Economist famously does not have bylines so I don't think I could name one but I am a very happy proud longtime print subscriber so surely someone there. I truly love the ways we approach storytelling here, so those bylines from Julie Zeglen Stephen b Tyler Woods Tony Abraham Juliana Holly Quinn Zack Seward etc, do mean alot to me, I would consume them. ...And, yeah, I'm a George Saunders fanboy and so I like when he's been pulled into doing fun profiles

Name three Philly tech scenesters you're truly fond of / name one that you... could do without?

Robert J. Moore and Jon Gosier on the founder front, I'm v impressed w/ them and always feel smarter when I talk to them. (Garrett Melby is that too). I make no secret that I have a real soft spot for Archna, whom I long found one of the most under-celebrated for her relative impact. And on the v young front: Dawn McDougall. I think she took a v mature pathway to not wanting a full-time director role for Code for Philly because she wanted to gain some experience at an org. She showed some power. For someone to get rid of? I don't think I can put that in writing.

What's the main reason Yuriy Poritko fascinates you?

Two things on the Yuriy front (for others, he's a Philly organizer who has been around forever and I'm writing a lil something on him that's gonna run next week). I try to write something for one of our markets every six weekssss~ and so I always wanted to do something on him just because he is eccentric and colorful. So it started just that he is interesting. But then other pieces started coming together, and I started putting more time into it once I wrote my nut graf. I found that I could connect him to a bigger/broader lesson that I think other communities face too. So (a) he's interesting and (b) he does represent something. He has caused some real pain and damage, but he has done genuine good. I don't find EVIL or GOOD characters interesting. I think people who are complex and complicated are far more challenging to write. I am not aiming to judge the man in this piece, I’m aiming to better understand why he is who he is. I think that’s the kind of community reporting and business journalism I love most.

What do you do when you’re bored?

I’d say I can’t remember the last time I was bored but I know what ya mean. I watch a ton of science and history Youtube videos when I’m eating at home. I also am basically always tryyyyying to write, whether that be my iPhone notes app open or scribbling in a pad. ..Also Twitter is an incredible place to learn if you curate your followers thusly :slightly_smiling_face:

What are your thoughts on early let outs on Fridays before national holidays?

:eye-roll: Seriously I always find those questions weird, I am not tracking anyone's hours, never have been! Get your shit done. Work hard! Do your time most weeks and take time for you other times. It's so simple, if you're doing good work and giving :100: and build a relationship of trust with your team, then choose when it's right for you. I guess I can do a better job of communicating that but there is no magic time that you can work toward and I am HAPPY. If you're supporting your team and doing great work and you are EXCITED About being here, I don’t think anyone says anything. So, idk, go home!

How about some book recommends for another avid reader?

I am not a fast reader, my wife has me beat. I'm trying to simply get back to a book a month (have a resolution of reading a writer of color for the first time each month this year) and not nailing that but I loved Zadie Smith's throwback White Teeth.

Who here is most likely in 10 yrs to write the book on Technically Media?

Probably you [Cary Betagole, Senior Product Manager). You have a low key historian's view and a smart distance

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listeningtotrees · 7 years

Text

1Q84 Notes & Highlights

salvation. (Though, watching it, Aomame reconfirmed her belief that everyone, deep in their hearts, is waiting for the end of the world to come.)

“Was it Aristotle who said the human soul is composed of reason, will, and desire?” “No, that was Plato. Aristotle and Plato were as different as Mel Tormé and Bing Crosby. In any case, things were a lot simpler in the old days,” Komatsu said. “Wouldn’t it be fun to imagine reason, will, and desire engaged in a fierce debate around a table?” “I’ve got a pretty good idea who would lose that one.”

whole heart, even one person, then there’s salvation in life. Even if you can’t get together with that person.”

“Or maybe he didn’t really have a reason. He just suddenly felt like going—say, he was looking at the shape of Sakhalin Island on a map and the desire to go just bubbled up out of nowhere. I’ve had that kind of experience myself: I’m looking at a map and I see someplace that makes me think, ‘I absolutely have to go to this place, no matter what.’ And most of the time, for some reason, the place is far away and hard to get to. I feel this overwhelming desire to know what kind of scenery the place has, or what people are doing there. It’s like measles—you can’t show other people exactly where the passion comes from. It’s curiosity in the purest sense. An inexplicable inspiration.

‘Insane’ probably means to have an innate mental problem, something that calls for professional treatment, while ‘lunatic’ means to have your sanity temporarily seized by the luna, which is ‘moon’ in Latin. In nineteenth-century England, if you were a certified lunatic and you committed a crime, the severity of the crime would be reduced a notch. The idea was that the crime was not so much the responsibility of the person himself as that he was led astray by the moonlight. Believe it or not, laws like that actually existed. In other words, the fact that the moon can drive people crazy was actually recognized in law.”

“According to Chekhov,” Tamaru said, rising from his chair, “once a gun appears in a story, it has to be fired.”

The clock is ticking as we speak. Time rushes past. Opportunities are lost right and left. If you have money, you can buy time. You can even buy freedom if you want. Time and freedom: those are the most important things that people can buy with money.”

“Good-bye,” she murmured, bidding farewell not so much to the apartment as to the self that had lived here.

The phone rang just after nine o’clock Tuesday night. Tengo was listening to music and reading a book. This was his favorite time of day, reading to his heart’s content before going to sleep. When he tired of reading, he would fall asleep.

You will be turning thirty soon, Mr. Kawana, which means that, from now on, you will gradually enter that twilight portion of life—you will be getting older. You are probably beginning to grasp that painful sense that you are losing something, are you not?”

He had that feeling he remembered from childhood when he opened a new textbook at the beginning of the term, ignorant of its contents but sensing the new knowledge to come.

“Most people are not looking for provable truths. As you said, truth is often accompanied by intense pain, and almost no one is looking for painful truths. What people need is beautiful, comforting stories that make them feel as if their lives have some meaning. Which is where religion comes from.”

the world had settled in a place somewhere midway between “being miserable” and “lacking in joy,”

Even now, when darkness had been banished from most parts of the world, there remained a sense of human gratitude toward the moon and its unconditional compassion. It was imprinted upon human genes like a warm collective memory.

He was a mere cram school instructor. But that very fact made Tengo happy. He could catch his breath at last. For the first time in his life, he was free: he could live his own life as he wanted to without having to worry about anyone else.

“Have you read it?” “No, I’ve never been in jail, or had to hide out for a long time. Someone once said unless you have those kinds of opportunities, you can’t read the whole of Proust.”

Nobody’s easier to fool, Ushikawa thought, than the person who is convinced that he is right.

His brain was heavy, and was brimming with the germs of life, like some primeval sea. Not that these led him anywhere.

The breeze blowing in the room suddenly stopped and the curtains hung limply, like a worker in the midst of a task suddenly remembering something else he had to do. And then, after a while, as if gathering itself together, the wind began to blow again.

But I found that the longer you teach, the more you feel like a total stranger to yourself.”

As he lay shivering, alone in the sleeping bag, he recalled the days when he had been surrounded by his family. He didn’t particularly miss those days. His life now was so completely different that these memories merely popped up to illustrate that fact. Even when he was living with his family, Ushikawa had felt lonely. He never opened up to anyone and thought that his ordinary life would never last. Deep down he was convinced that one day it would all too easily fall apart—his busy days as a lawyer, his generous income, his nice house in Chuorinkan, his not-bad-looking wife, his cute daughters, both attending private elementary school, his pedigreed dog. So when his life steadily fell apart bit by bit and he was left all alone, he was actually relieved. Thank God, he thought. Nothing to worry about now. I’m back right where I started. Is this what it means to go back to square one?

Is this what it means to go back to square one? Most likely. He had nothing left to lose, other than his life. It was all very clear-cut. In the darkness, a razor-thin smile came to Ushikawa’s lips.

special person. But time slowly chips away at life. People don’t just die when their time comes. They gradually die away, from the inside.

I’m just a machine. A capable, patient, unfeeling machine. A machine that draws in new time through one end, then spits out old time from the other end. It exists in order to exist

“People need routines. It’s like a theme in music. But it also restricts your thoughts and actions and limits your freedom. It structures your priorities and in some cases distorts your logic.

that can’t be it. I’m not going crazy. My mind is like a brand-new steel nail—hard, sober, straight. Hammered at just the right angle, into the core of reality. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m completely sane. It’s the world around me that’s gone crazy. And I have to find out why.

People naturally pay their respects to the dead. The person had, after all, just accomplished the personal, profound feat of dying.

The baby looked confused by how big and cold the world could be.

‘Cold or Not, God Is Present.’

“You said you’re going far away,” Tamaru said. “How far away are we talking about?” “It’s a distance that can’t be measured.” “Like the distance that separates one person’s heart from another’s.” Aomame closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was on the verge of tears, but was able to hold it together.

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