#the goncharov incident

[chodoyodes]

we need to stop the Gonch everyone i’m starting to see it on tiktok, that wretched musical note app will run it into the ground even worse than we could hope to

#the goncharov incident #chodo rambles

[oak23]

Anyway it's wild how in the early 2000s Goncharov had that Barbie line planned for the film's 30th anniversary but it was cancelled because parents didn't know it was a Collector Barbie line instead of one aimed at children.

The amount of outrage back in like, 2003 over this was wild, concerned parents ranting about their daughters seeing a "mafia Barbie" or the very idea that Mattel would have packaged Barbie with a gun even though the price was clearly aimed at adult collectors.

I was really disappointed the dolls were never produced though because in the few prototype pictures you saw, Mattel really went out its way to create new sculpts to match the actresses' faces and the outfits replicating the iconic outfits from the film was incredible.

Throughout the years I've seen some factory error heads pop up on Aliexpress mislabelled as Barbie, but you can usually tell them apart due to the Matteo marking on the scalp, which people misread as "Mattel".

It was also the only time Martin Scorsese went out of his way to collaborate with Mattel to design a Barbie doll, but after the experience he said he would never even try making a Fashion doll again. The sheer disappointment he felt was palpable, and it really upsets me we are never getting a Martin Scorsese Barbie doll thanks to the concern trolling of some parents in the 2000s.

#goncharov #gonchposting #unreality #there i did my part #doll posting and gonchposting together at last #doll meme #this combines seveeral actual doll related incidents but also the 2000s was doll controversies up the wazoo #i also feel like anything pre 2005 is where you can make up doll shit and even collectors can believe it

[rogerdeakinsdp]

Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro went to the Caribbean island of Sint Maarten to rewrite the screenplay for ‘Raging Bull.’ On their last day, Scorsese decided it would be fun to send up Irwin Winkler (the producer) by pretending they had spent their time drinking instead of working. © Gloria Norris, 1979

#martin scorsese #robert de niro #userleo #usersakshi #lalocorleone #userrobin #chewieblog #userbbelcher #dilfgifs #edit #* #seemed appropriate to post it now #it's a miracle really that they remained friends after that incident on the set of goncharov

[apatheticlexicographer]

YASSS!!!

finally, this is like the 3rd time i've hit it, but the first time it's happened without any bots artificially inflating the count 💀💀

very very weird that 500 people perceive me enough to follow me ngl

#byler #sorry but in my defense at least 4/5 of the ppl following me are bylers #i think i do have some mainblr followers after the goncharov incident tho #but it's an insignificant proportion #and i haven't posted abt my other fandoms

[riveretyfil]

Goncharov should have a shoe scene in it because. it was written during the cold war when the C.I.A shoelace codes struck, the entire Goncharov thing was originated from a shoe anyway AND also "I like your shoelaces" has always been the primary tumblr code to detect other tumblr users. it fits

#goncharov #unreality #goncharov 1973 #jake told me about the 2020 shoe incident thank you jake

[yourlocalswarmofbees]

learning for the first time that Goncharov isnt real what the actual fuck you guys

#goncharov #how the hell did we make up an entire movie #this is worse than the green banana pudding incident at my family's thanksgiving #does this mean I can make up lore for it #is there a set plot we've agreed on #i feel like someone said something about lesbians

[xpoolboy]

#goncharov #best of bri

[new-career-in-business]

maybe the real goncharov (1973) was the friends we made along the way

#im kidding i only made enemies from the goncharov incident

[queer-media-tourney]

Here are all 64 round 1 polls:

Rent vs Orphan Black

Heartstopper vs Orange is the New Black

Carol (2015) vs Bugsnax

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern vs Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Fienburg

Red, White and Royal Blue vs This is how you lose the time war by Amar el-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Our Flag means Death vs Always human by Ari North

The last of us two vs On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

Heartbreak High vs Shameless

Undertale vs The Handmaiden

Young Royals vs Revolutionary Girl Utena

Sens8 vs Carry on by Rainbow Rowell

Bee and puppycat vs The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Yuri on Ice vs Ranma ½

Q-force vs Feel Good

Torchwood vs The interview with a Vampire (2022)

Homestuck vs Good Omens

Some like it hot vs Killing Eve

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off vs Bound (1996)

It's a sin vs Magnus Chase by Rick Riordan

Doctor Who vs Portrait of a young lady on fire

Steven Universe vs Saltburn

Xena Warrior Princess vs Cyberpunk 2077

Welcome to Nightvale vs Schitt's creek

Night in the woods vs A league Of their own

Lisa Frankenstein vs The boys in the band (1970)

Black Sails vs Owl House

Hannibal vs The Traitor Baru Cormorant

Bottoms vs The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir

The picture of Dorian Grey vs Adventure time

The Sandman (comic) vs Supernatural

Maurice (1987) vs Hazbin Hotel

Nimona vs Love Simon

Epithet Erased vs What we do in the shadows

Buffy the Vampire Slayer vs The Other Two

One Day at a time (2017) vs Falsettos

She-ra and the princesses of power vs Dykes to Watch Out for

Celluloid Closet vs Harley Quinn

But I'm a cheerleader vs Vida

Angels In America vs Glee

Hooky by Míriam Bonastre Tur vs They both die in the end by Adam Silvera

Will and Grace vs Paris is Burning

Sanders Sides vs The Magnus Archives

The L word vs Goncharov

Queer as Folk vs Paper Girls

Boys don't cry vs Dracula

All of us strangers vs Yellow jackets

The Song of Achilles vs D.E.B.S

Brokeback Mountain vs Dead end: paranormal park

Carmilla vs Pride (2014)

The Bifrost Incident vs Pink Flamingos

Call me by your name vs Hedwig and the Angry Inch

Grishaverse vs Roswell New Mexico

Riverdale vs We Know the Devil

Stardew Valley vs Pose

Disco Elysium vs Different For girls

Banana fish vs my own private Idaho

Celeste vs Tales of the City, by Armistead Maupin

Everything Everywhere all at once vs Outer Wilds

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar vs Victor/Victoria

Moonlight vs Stranger things

The birdcage vs Midnight Cowboy

The Watermelon Woman vs The Ritz

The haunting of Bly Manor vs Epic of Gilgamesh

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel vs How to survive a plague

#queer media tourney

[galaxygolfergirl]

What we know about Goncharov’s mysterious director, Matteo JWHJ 0715 and his tragic, yet fascinating life.

He was born as Matteo Di Sciocchezze to a poor catholic farming family on November 5th, 1938, in Torre del Greco, just outside of Naples, during the fascist Mussolini regime.

It is rumored that the Sciocchezzes were heavily indebted to the Russian-Italian Chmerkovskiy crime family, after they bought a surplus of inventory from Matteo’s father’s cheese-making business when they weren’t able to sell off the excess supply.

His older brother Macareo was killed by German Nazis during WW2, causing him to have an intense hatred of Nazism and fascism, which would later be themes in his work.

Self-identified as bisexual in his teens but was shunned by his family. He would later join Fuori!, or “Out!”, the first homosexual organization in Italy, in 1972, soon after its founding after being attracted to its initial Marxist ideals. It was one of the first associations of the Italian homosexual liberation movement.

Matteo was briefly married to actress Rita Lozionne and had one son with her, Bruno Lozionne, in 1970, but the separated soon after she gave birth.

Sophia Loren mentioned in a 1984 Variety article that she had been “madly in love with Matteo” at one point during their relationship in the early 1960s but had to end their relationship because of the “incident in Prague.” She would not go into further detail.

Changed his last name to his license plate number, rejecting his homophobic family and becoming disillusioned with the idea of nationalistic self-identity.

Knew John Waters and helped fund some of his earlier films.

Aside from Goncharov, the only other surviving work in his filmography, most which was tragically lost in a studio fire in Milan in 1987, were the underground early 60s short films “Tales of the Dog,” a 4 part series, and his 90 minute 1968 film “Green Candles.” These works are incomplete and partially damaged due to the fire.

Matteo had been in a gay love affair with the married producer Domenico Procacci (pictured below from a still one of Matteo’s “Tales of the Dog” films) during the production of Goncharov. Procacci admitted to this years later in 1998, and that they had been planning to leave for San Francisco before his untimely death.

Matteo died tragically in 1974, however, after falling backwards out of a window, supposedly while playing the mandolin (his favorite past time), as sources claimed.

His son Bruno Lozionne emigrated with his mother in 1976 to the United States, and is currently living in Carbondale, IL, working as the senior office manager of Hardison Supply Co.

If anyone can send in more information on Matteo please feel free to add to this post.

#also I can’t get over how gorgeous this man was #goncharov (1973) #goncharov #andrey daddano #ice pick joe #katya goncharov #mario ambrosini #martin scorsese #Matteo JWHJ 0715

[wizardpotions]

I can't wait for a lost media youtuber to talk about goncharov like it is perhaps a missing childrens incident or a gruesome murder

#goncharov #shitposts

[tournamentcorner]

MOST ICONIC TUMBLR POSTS/MOMENTS TOURNAMENT 2023 MASTERPOST

HERE WE GO AGAIN! Welcome to the official most iconic tumblr posts/moments tournament! Its everyones favourite host! Schoolgirl Reigen!!!

This will be the Masterpost in which all the polls are linked! Poll posting shall be starting soon!

This tournament has a lot of surprise contendors later on so pls refrain from yelling just yet. It includes only posts that originated or grew extremly iconic on tumblr. (For example personified social media doesnt count bc it was popular on other sites aswell)

I will try to link the OG posts when polls are posted as much as I am able to :)

Winner gets the dust bunny thats been in the corner of the bedroom since a month!

Matchups for the third round:

Mishapocalypse VS. Horse Plinko VS. RANDY YOUR STICKS

Fingers in his ass sunday VS. Crab Rave VS. None pizza with left beef

Dash con ball pit VS. Down with cis bus VS. Goncharov

Nov. 5th 2020 VS. Those are his hooves you bitch VS. Spider Georg

Matchups for the second round:

Mishapocalypse VS. Weird RPs VS. Dicked down again :/

RANDY YOUR STICKS VS. Infinite chocolate VS. Female presenting nipples

Ugly house arrest bracelet :3 VS. Fingers in his ass sunday VS. I like your shoelaces

None pizza with left beef VS. Leg so hot u fry an eg VS. Do you love the colour of the sky?

Dash con ball pit VS. That gay comic VS. Sonic for Real Justice

Goncharov VS. John Green VS. Harold, They're Lesbians

Neil Banging out the tunes VS. Sorry bout your boyfriend VS. Nov. 5th 2020

Spider Georg VS. no its becky VS. Pull the trigger, Piglet

Matchups for the first round:

Mishapocalypse VS. Weird ads I just want to get dicked down again :/ VS. Checkmarks Markiplier gang war VS. RANDY YOUR STICKS Female presenting nipples VS. Bone witch Ugly house arrest ankle bracelet :3 VS. Alexandria's genesis I like your shoelaces VS. Miss Officer And Mr. Truffles Russian hacker incident VS. None pizza with left beef That one time the site overlapped like every post VS. Dont you love the colour of the sky

Then everyone clapped VS. Dash con ball pit Sonic for Real Justice VS. Japanese Radish The bots VS. Goncharov Child slave incident VS. People are lesbians Harold Neil Banging out the tunes VS. Tumblr university Nov. 5th 2020 VS. Color theory Weed smoking girlfriends VS. Spiders Georg Imagine how is touch the sky VS. Pull the trigger piglet

Happy Tournament!

#masterpost #poll #polls #tournament #iconic tumblr posts #heritage posts #tumblr polls #tumblr poll #iconic tumblr post tournament

[starridge]

Alright final cut for the Tumblr Incidents Bracket has been randomized, the polls will go live on Friday, February 10th at 12:00pm EST on my sideblog @pastelstarstuff! I'll be tagging them with "# tumblr incidents bracket" for anyone who wants to blacklist the tag! All the matchups are below the cut!

2007-2014 Cole Sprouse Social Experiment vs. DD/LG Blogs Homestuck Sharpie Bath vs. Mesperyian Mishapocalypse vs. Do You Love the Color of the Sky? Oppa Homeless Style vs. All or Nothing Bone-Stealing Witch vs. The Human Pet Guy 4Chan - Tumblr War vs. Toe Necklace Down With Cis Bus vs. I Like Your Shoelaces Dashcon vs. Alexandria's Genesis

2015-Present Rabies Pride vs. Goncharov SonicForRealJustice vs. Tumblr Blaze Woody's Roundup vs. The Trampstamps November 5, 2020 vs. Porn Ban Cannibal Mermaid Hamilton Fanfic Author HIV Apology vs John Green Cock Monologue September 8, 2022 vs. Miku Binder Thomas Jefferson Sixpenceee vs. Flavortown ARG Denny's Tumblr vs. Hey Peebrain, You Teleport? ARG

#tumblr incidents bracket #polls #some of these aren't really 'incidents' but are close enough to count them #especially the two args #i liked the hey peebrain you teleport one sm

[celestebunnie]

I think we should do another goncharov movie incident

It would be hilarious

#goncharov

[ayvi]

hint: how would the characters behave if they lost their wedding ring

Dazai Osamu

♡Noticing the loss of the ring, Osamu was seriously scared, because if he comes home without the ring, it means that he will be publicly executed.

♡The following to do Dazai, so he asked for it Atsushi help him with the search. However, they did not give any success. Because they ended up on the river, where the brown-haired man decided to dive in the morning.

♤However, the former mafia man is a creative person, so when you come home, you should expect a story about how he was attacked by armed men and he alone tried to fight them off. And at one of these intervals, a ring slipped off his hand. Telling his fable, Osamu looks more than convincing and it's hard not to believe. So he will be able to get away with it.

Chuya Nakahara

♤As soon as Chuya notices the absence of the ring, he will seriously panic and immediately begin to remember where it could have been lost. However, working in the mafia in the office Nakahara hasn't been sitting all day and the ring could be anywhere.

♤Next, the mafia will try to figure out what to do, because what are the chances that you will believe that he has lost the ring, and you are not imagining a mistress in your head or something whiplash.

♤ The choice fell on a large bouquet of flowers and a romantic dinner, where he will announce that he accidentally lost his wedding ring, but the main gift will be new wedding rings for the two of you. And they will cost more than the previous ones.

Atsushi Nakajima

♧At first reaction Nakajima's reaction to the loss of the ring was calm. The only thing the tiger was afraid of was that you might get upset and resent him for his absent-mindedness.

♧But since Atsushi works with Dazai, he quickly intimidated the poor boy with fables that he would return home without a ring, it's like coming to a voluntary execution. And it really scared the esper.

♧However, the tiger does not really know how to lie, and he does not want to lie to you in the eyes. He will say as it is, they say, he accidentally lost the ring and ask for forgiveness. And besides, the ring is just a thing and they can easily be replaced by another. The main thing is that the guy doesn't stop loving you.

Akutagawa Ryunoske

◇The person himself is calm. For him, the loss of the ring does not matter much. Well lost, so what?

◇To search for the ring There will be no Ryunosuke, since he does not sit all day in a dusty office, where you can easily find all the missing things. The ring could have been lost somewhere on the street of the city and on one of the tasks.

◇ He won't lie either. He will tell you how he lost the ring. Well, will you yell at him if anything, well, don't kill him now for this? He'll buy new rings for you and himself. And this incident will be forgotten, except that now Akutagawa will look after the ring more carefully, otherwise he does not want to repeat old mistakes.

Rampo Edogawa

♡I honestly don't know how our great detective managed to lose the ring, but he did it. And honestly his reaction was like, "Where's my engagement ring? Hm...lost it looks like." He's like the 2nd Akutagawa seems to have 9 lives in reserve.

♡ Nevertheless, Rampo is a great detective and in a matter of seconds he will remember where he could have lost his ring.

♡Well, if deduction still does not help, then get ready to hear from Rampo a "slightly" embellished story of how he lost his wedding ring. And of course, the guy promises to buy a new ring the very next day. And in order to brighten up the incident with his absent-mindedness, he will hand you some sweets.

Fyodor Dostoevsky

♤His reaction to the loss of the ring was no. As if he hadn't lost his wedding ring, but a ring from kinder surprise.

♤Well, who comes to the aid of the esper? Of course, Goncharov, who was assigned to find the ring before you noticed its disappearance or buy a new one. Fortunately Dostoevsky has a good memory and he will be able to describe the ring in all details.

♤In general, this person always manages to get away with it, even if Poseidon brings down a wave on him. After all, you never found out that Fyodor lost the ring.

#bsd #hedcanon #bsd atsushi #bsd chuuya #atsushi nakajima #dazai osamu #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #chuuya nakahara #atsushi x you #bsd akutagawa #fedor dostoevskij #rampo edogawa #Rampo x reader #akutagawa x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #dazai x fem reader

[symbioticsimplicity]

This Idiot Has Seen Goncharov

So today marked the coalescence of the Goncharov Incident as I’ll be calling it, so I think it’s finally time to share.

For a bit of context, you need to know a little more about one of my co-workers. We’ll call him Zeke. First it’s important to note that despite being in his early thirties, Zeke doesn’t have any sort of social media accounts outside of a MySpace page. Dude has straight up been living like it’s still 2007. Zeke also has a fixation with my friend/roommate who also works with us. Zeke will hop onto whatever bandwagon this friend, who we’ll call Jesse, is on. But most importantly to this whole tableau, Zeke likes to tell tall tales, like no matter what you’re talking about, or what you’ve done, this guy has done it but bigger and crazier.

That alone would be annoying, but it wouldn’t be enough to push myself and Jesse to the level we’ve hit with him. For me, it’s the constant need to put other people down for ‘knowing less than he does’ despite the obviousness of his knowledge being a collection of poorly constructed lies. Like not only does he lie, but this dumbass doesn’t even bother to check into the things he lies about. Several times he’s tried to convince me of something in a subject I know everything about. He refuses to admit to being wrong and he won’t back down from anything he’s said, it’s infuriating.

For this, and quite a few other reasons transphobic cough cough augh, he’s been bothering Jesse and I for quite a while. Badly enough that the spite fueled wasp nest that lives in the back corner of my brain Morse coded a plan to me.

Goncharov.

What better way to trip up a ride or die compulsive liar than a piece of media well known for being entirely fictional?

The next day, when Zeke climbed into my car during our lunch hour, Jesse and I began talking about this old movie we’d recently watched. The two of us have known each other more than long enough to able to follow each other’s bullshit like second nature, we’ve played an assload of DND together. In ten minutes we’ve got the whole first arc talked out with a few of the “best scenes” highlighted. (Personal favorites being Andrey juggling guns “a la John Wick/Guns Akimbo” and Katya killing a man point blank after saying ‘Get Gonch’d bitch’ in a 1973 film.)

Zeke didn’t respond too much, just kind of nodded and ignored most of the convo since it wasn’t really about him. I didn’t really expect him to engage to start, he usually doesn’t, but we’d planned to keep this up for another couple days anyhow.

But like clockwork, the more Jesse talked about it, the more Zeke seemed to remember it. Enough that I jumped ahead a little and pulled up the faux movie poster to show him.

He squinted at it then nodded and said he’d definitely seen the movie before.

When I tell you I almost fucking screamed.

Of course he couldn’t remember many details because it had been so long since he’d seen it. To tell you the truth I’d checked out at that point, I was focused on not losing my shit, I have no fucking idea what he said.

While this was an entire meal served up on a silver platter, it would have been pretty easy to say he’d seen the poster somewhere despite not having socials. I want this man incinerated, not merely singed.

Which leads me to the events of the last couple days.

So Zeke came up to Jesse and I and told us he wanted to re-watch Goncharov and asked us if it’s on Netflix.

Jesse and I both said that it is, without hesitation.

Zeke went to look for it (at work, while we’re working no less, again I missed the rest of what he was saying here I was mentally biting him) and obviously found nothing. So he searched every other streaming platform he had, and Youtube, all once again coming up empty.

At this point, I was sure the jig is up. He was actually searching it now so obviously he’d find one of the search results letting him know Goncharov’s true nature. I’m fairly certain the first result for it on Google says that it’s fake.

Oh hoo hoo, no.

Zeke came to me to complain about not being able to find the movie and in a fit of clandestine fervor, I told him that we probably watched it on a pirating site.

It was beautiful, it was inspired, and it worked.

Zeke asked me for the site and I told him that I’d have to get it from our other roommate since she’s in charge of the tech in our house. Then I hauled ass to go find Jesse and spill the latest tea before Zeke could. 

Later on Jesse sent him the link to the site, and he told us he’d find it over the weekend.

Well today, friends, is Monday.

Most of today we spent too busy to go grill Zeke about whether or not he’s crossed over into the fucking Mandela timeline and managed to watch Goncharov. But ten minutes before close, while we’re waiting to go, suddenly Zeke perks up, and remembers that when he gets home, he has to finish watching the movie. He’d had trouble getting the site to work on his phone, but his Xbox had run it, and he’d started watching it, but had unfortunately fallen asleep before he’d finished.

Now. I am a calm man, I can keep a straight face if I need to. But hearing this fucking idiot tell me he’d started watching a fictitious movie made up by Tumblr.com of all places nearly sent me to the fucking Shadow Realm with the amount of effort it took not to crack.

He talked for a couple more minutes before fucking off to do something else, I have no idea again I wasn’t fucking listening, I was trying not to visibly cry from holding back laughter.

But then he left and like instinct, like the inevitable impact of atoms inside of the Hadron collider, Jesse and I turned to look at each other. I knew what Jesse would say, Jesse knew what I would say, and like fate, like destiny, like two people who had witnessed a man commit manslaughter against his own damn self, we spoke at once.

“This idiot has seen Goncharov.”

#goncharov #unreality #i know we probably shouldn't have done this #but like honestly if you knew him you'd do it too #shitposting in real life