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justanoutlawfic · 5 years

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Life Unexpected: Chapt. 8

Summary: Emma’s side of the story of what happened that night with Bill and Katie is revealed. It brings up a triggering memory for one of her parents.

Trigger warning: Mentions of several forms of abuse in this chapter.

Also on AO3

3 Years Ago

Emma stood in the kitchen, slicing the apples, while Max was picking the movie and Zack was on the phone with a friend. Katie had stepped out and would be back with the popcorn in a bit. It was quiet, for once. She didn’t necessarily like that, it was leaving her alone with her thoughts. Her social worker had told her that Katie and Bill had plans to adopt her. That was the last thing she wanted, but she knew that if she told the truth, it’d be another mark on her record. Emma learned a long time ago that telling about abuse reflected more on the foster child, than it did the foster parent. No one wanted to take in a girl that would squeal on them for their “punishments”.

Besides, Katie was really great. She was the closest thing that Emma had to a mom in a long time. She did her hair and took her on little day trips. She had helped her get caught up in school and did all she could to make sure that she succeeded. Even Bill wasn’t so bad when he wasn’t physically touching Emma. He’d do anything she asked. To most, it looked like he was wrapped around her finger.

No one knew that six weeks prior, he had climbed into her bed for the first time. She had one foster father that had been a bit handsy before, but it had mostly been lingering hugs or touching her cheek, which made her feel uncomfortable. Bill, on the other hand, said he wanted to take care of Emma. She was becoming a woman, she needed to know what men looked for.

A chill ran down her spine. She had tried to put up a fight, but he had told her that no one would believe her. So, it kept happening. She thought if she picked fights in front of Katie, that it’d stop, but it never did. Instead, it seemed to only get worse and he was a lot rougher.

Bill’s voice caused her to jump. “A nice healthy snack for the movie, eh?”

Emma stiffened a little, grabbing the second apple to chop. “Katie wanted it, since there’s going to be popcorn.”

He was walking closer, she could tell by his footsteps. “You know, you really should start calling us Mom and Dad. Betsy says that the adoption shouldn’t take too long to formalize.”

His hands wrapped around her waist and Emma swallowed, hard, her hand shaking.

“The boys are in the other room,” she whispered, meekly.

“There’s never a wrong time for a lesson.” His cold hand started playing with the strings on her sweatpants. “Come on, Em. We all know you like it.”

“Stop it,” she said, unsure of where the firmness in the voice was coming. Maybe it was because she knew that he couldn’t hit her with the boys so close, but she was finally finding her voice. “I want you to leave me alone.”

“Oh, is that right?” He grabbed hold of her hair and put a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t scream out in pain. “So, you need to be reminded of who the adult around here is, do you?”

He turned her around by her hair and the next few moments were all a blur for Emma. She thrusted the knife forward and due to their height difference, it ended up in his stomach. He toppled backwards and Emma’s eyes widened, realizing what she had just done. He looked at her with wide eyes of his own, clearly unsure of what to say or do. He collapsed into a chair and Emma ran towards him, pulling the knife out.

Two gasps came from the kitchen and she spun around to find her foster brothers standing there. Max started screaming and bolted from the room. Zack stared at Emma, looking at her as if he had seen a ghost.

“What did you do?” He asked.

“I…I didn’t…”

“Call 9-1-1!” Bill barked at his son. “Make sure they know that Emma did it!”

Emma wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. She had stabbed him. It all happened so fast, but she had indeed stabbed him. What if he died? Oh my God, forget finding a forever family, she was never going to see the light of day again.

Zack disappeared from the room and Max’s screams could still be heard from the den. Emma just stood there, awestruck. Eventually, the front door opened and shut. Bill was doubled over in pain, the blood seeping through his grey polo. Katie walked in and looked between the two of them. Emma realized the knife was still in her hand and that blood was on her fingers.

Bill’s blood.

“Katie,” she whispered.

But Katie wouldn’t look at her. She grabbed paper towels and began applying pressure to the wound. Bill filled her in on the situation, completing changing the story. It would be the same one he’d tell the police and the judge. He had come in the kitchen and asked Emma if she needed help with snacks. She flipped out on him and they got into a verbal altercation. When he grounded her, she stabbed him.

Emma found herself unable to say a thing. She had dropped the knife, but stood in shock. It was as if she were watching a movie, everything was happening to her, rather than her doing anything about it. Another few minutes later, the sounds of sirens replaced Max’s screams. She heard footsteps and the wheeling of something. The paramedics assessed Bill before whisking him away. Katie chased after them, leaving Emma alone.

That didn’t last very long. Before she could blink, an officer was in the room. “Emma Swan?” She asked.

Emma slowly nodded. “Yes.”

“Your foster brother told us that it was you that stabbed your foster father.”

“I…I…”

The officer looked at her blood stained hands and the matching knife nearby. “I’m going to advise that you wait for a court appointed attorney to show up. Miss Swan, please turn around.”

The next few weeks were a total blur for Emma. She could barely remember being escorted to the squad car with all the neighbors watching. There was something vague about being brought to an interrogation room and another cop coming in. At one point, she asked about the attorney the first officer had promised her, but that was ignored. Eventually, she was signing a piece of paper that she didn’t quite understand. She had explained what she had done and why, but no one seemed to care about the latter. She was processed and brought to juvenile hall.

It was cold, loud. There was a strip search that she did her best to block out. The food tasted disgusting and the girls made fun of her for being the youngest. A lot of it wouldn’t be what she’d remember for years to come. No, that was the trial. She sat before a judge and explained her side of the story. The true side. Bill and Kate stood, telling a bunch of lies. They said she was wild, constantly sneaking out and breaking curfew. Kate added that she had gotten physical with them in the past and they knew it was a matter of time.

Just as Bill had once threatened, no one believed her.

Emma was sentenced to 2 years in juvenile hall. She took the advice of her counselor and kept her head down. She didn’t talk to anyone unless absolutely necessary. She did her chores and went to her group therapy. The other girls teased her for being a kiss ass, but she avoided them, even if it got her beaten. It was almost as if she was desentized to all of it. She was going to serve her time and get out of it.

One day as she walked the yard during the rec period, she heard the frantic sound of someone from behind her. She paused and found a frizzy haired brunette racing behind her, juggling a bunch of files.

“Yes?” She asked.

“You’re Emma Swan, right?”

Emma gestured to her badge. “Yeah.”

“Astrid Rosa,” she stuck out her hand, nearly dropping her files in the process.

Emma hesitantly shook hands with her. “Are you my new counselor?”

“No, your new social worker. Your file came across my desk this morning and I was looking things over. I think we can get you out of here.”

“I still have another year and a half.”

“You’re supposed to, but it seems like they messed up when they were interviewing you. I read the transcripts of your interrogation and you ask for an attorney several times, but the officer dodged it.”

Emma shrugged. “So?”

“So, that’s illegal, Emma. You had every right to have legal counsel when you spoke to them. You’re also a minor, you cannot sign anything without an adult present, which I see they also had you do.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“All of this means that your case will be thrown out by a judge. The justice system unfortunately isn’t always perfect, but it does mean that you’re going to be out of here. I’m going to be lining up a new foster home for you within the coming weeks.”

Emma stared at this woman as if she were her fairy godmother. Before, Betsy had made it seem like she’d transition from juvie to a high security group home. Here, Astrid was promising her a new foster home, a way out of this place. It took all she had not to throw her arms around her.

Present Day

Astrid was the first social worker that Emma could see actually try to fight for her. She knew others in the past had been overworked and done their best, but Betsy had barely done her due diligence when it came to finding her good homes. Astrid listened to Emma, she believed in her. She never lied to Emma and made sure she was aware that with her record, it’d be a challenge, but she always did her best. She even got Emma into counselling for what had been done to her. It wasn’t a magical fix, but it was a start to trying to forget everything.

Then Mary Margaret just had to find out about her past.

Emma wasn’t surprised that Katie had lied to Mary Margaret. If she had lied in front of a judge, why wouldn’t she before Emma’s mother? It wasn’t that, it was the fact that Mary Margaret had believed all of it without talking to her first. How had they even found out about her past? Astrid had promised to leave that out when she spoke to them.

She knew that she could go to Lily or Elsa’s, but then she’d have to explain what happened and she didn’t want to talk about it. There was no doubt that Mary Margaret had told David, so he was out. In Boston, if Emma wanted to run away, it was easy. There were so many places to hide out. She knew the city very well.

Storybrooke was smaller and yet, she knew nothing about it.

David pulled up in front of Mary Margaret’s apartment building, texting her that he was there. She raced out of the door just moments later, almost as if she had been waiting in the lobby. Mary Margaret slid into the passenger seat, practically slamming the door behind her.

“She said she was going to Lily’s, so I called Mal Page, but she said she wasn’t there,” Mary Margaret explained, her voice sounding frantic. “I don’t know where else she would go.”

“I told Killian to text me if she shows up at my place. Maybe we should check my moms’?”

“That’d be a good idea.” Mary Margaret ran her fingers through her hair as David pulled away. “God, I was so fucking stupid.”

“Deep breaths. Just explain to me what happened a little better. You found out she has a record?”

“She spent 6 months in juvie for simple assault.”

David arched an eyebrow. That didn’t sound like Emma at all, but then again, he didn’t know her very well. “That doesn’t make much sense. Emma doesn’t seem violent.”

“I know. So I went to the victim’s house…”

“You did what?!?”

“I just needed answers. The woman there says that she and her husband fostered Emma for 6 months. One night, Emma stabbed the husband.”

“Did you try to talk to Emma about it?”

“Yes, but I didn’t go about it the right way. I was just so upset about her not coming to us about it and I flipped out a little.”

“And you didn’t think to call me about this?”

Mary Margaret looked over at him, her mouth dropping a bit. “David…”

“I’m her parent too, Mary Margaret. You don’t think I’d want to review the files and try to look into things? I’m a lawyer, I have more access to this stuff than you do,” he felt his body tensing up a bit. “I know you planned on being a single mom when you were pregnant, but you’re not. You can’t just find this stuff out and only call me when the shit hits the fan.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to do that. My boss did a background check on her and I just went into Mama Bear mode, I didn’t even think to call you.” She cleared her throat, raising her voice a bit. “I should’ve though, I am so sorry.”

An apology sounded weird coming from Mary Margaret. Heaven knew that David owed her enough of those for how he handled her pregnancy. She hadn’t done anything to hurt him. This was probably the first time he could think of her really screwing up. Sure, that probably wasn’t true, but it was a new side to her. A new, human side.

“I understand,” he said, softening a bit. “I don’t know how I would’ve handled the whole thing either.”

“You seem to have better ideas than I do.” She was quiet for a minute. “The foster family seemed to be really close with Emma. She wrote them cards saying she loved them, there were so many family photos.”

“Those can be deceiving.” He remembered his own forced ones back before his father died. Robert screaming at them until they got the exact right pose in the Sears photo studio.

“True.” From the look on her face, Mary Margaret was thinking about her own past.

“Look, we don’t know where Emma went, but there’s not exactly a lot of trouble she could get into right now. How about I call her and tell her to meet us at my office? While we wait, I’ll look into this some more.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I guess I’m still not used to this responsible David Nolan.”

David winced, but didn’t say anything in response. A part of him knew he deserved that.

A few minutes later, he pulled up in front of Spencer Law. He took his phone out and dialed Emma’s number. David wasn’t at all surprised when he got her voicemail after just two rings.

“Emma, it’s David. Look, I know you’re upset right now, but you need to know that we’re not mad at you. We love you so much and we just want to talk it out. Please call us back and I’ll come get you or you can come to me. I’m at my office, Spencer Law. On the corner of Mansel and Redwood. Please, just call me back.”

He hung up and lead Mary Margaret up the stairs to his office. Luckily, his uncle was away on business and there was no chance of running into him. He still hadn’t quite explained the Emma situation to him. Not because he was ashamed, but because he tried to tell Albert as little as possible about his personal life. Robert had been an abusive drunk, Albert was a controlling functional alcoholic. David longed for the day he could switch to a new firm, but at the moment, it was the job that was going to give him the most money. Considering he had a teenager to think of, there was no way he could quit then.

David opened the door to his office and Mary Margaret followed him inside, pulling a chair besides his own so they could both look at the computer. She spotted a picture of Emma on the desk and softly smiled.

“I already have one in my dressing room, too,” she said.

“It just seems like the parent thing to do,” David replied as he logged in.

He went through his different resources and soon was able to obtain the transcripts from Emma’s trial. He read through Bill and Katie’s statements first, before moving onto Emma’s. The story she laid out made both his stomach turn and his muscles tighten. He didn’t even notice Mary Margaret’s reaction, he was just so sick to his stomach at the thought of what Bill had done to his little girl.

“That man doesn’t deserve to be alive, let alone walking free,” he growled.

A part of him wanted to ask Mary Margaret for the address and track this SOB down, but the lawyer in him told him that it wasn’t going to help Emma. He knew that even if Emma had been found guilty, that at the very least, Bill wouldn’t be permitted to foster anymore. At the very least, he wouldn’t be able to hurt another foster child. It was just a shame that he had his biological children in his custody. David didn’t know if he abused them too, but if Katie was willing to lie for him over Emma, there was a chance that she’d never stand up for her own children. He also knew that she was potentially a victim of domestic violence herself.

How could he not have stuck by Mary Margaret’s side? Then Emma never would’ve ended up in such a situation. Rationally, he knew that it wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t been the one to hurt her and most foster parents were good people. Bill should’ve known better. Even so, as her father, David felt the urge to protect her and he had ultimately failed.

He looked down at Mary Margaret and saw the tears that were streaming down her face, her hand was clapped over her mouth. David touched her arm and she pulled away, jumping up. She ran to the corner of the room, hyperventilating. It took a minute for him to realize that she was having a panic attack. James had them occasionally after the accident. His therapist had taught David and Ruth how to help him through them. David knew that every person was different, but it was worth a shot.

David didn’t touch her, instead, he stood next to her. “Mary Margaret, I need you to start doing jumping jacks.” She looked up at him as if he were on drugs. “I know it sounds crazy, just do it.” Her hyperventilating continued and he shook his head. “Just trust me.”

Eventually, Mary Margaret started doing them. She looked so confused in the beginning, then slowly but surely her breathing became even again. She lowered herself down the wall and he crouched in front of her.

“How did you learn that?” She asked, tears still falling.

“My mom and I learned to help my brother. He has PTSD from an accident.” David waved that off, this wasn’t about James. “Clearly there’s something going on with you.”

“I just found out my daughter was assaulted.”

“So did I, and it didn’t make me have a panic attack. There’s more going on there, Mare.”

“I didn’t realize you became a therapist.”

“No, but I’m a lawyer. It’s my job to read people.”

Mary Margaret tipped her head back. “I put her with a family that wasn’t supposed to hurt her. They were good people. No record. They weren’t going to hurt her.”

“And they didn’t. You couldn’t predict what they’d do, nor that she’d end up with that asshole.”

“She wasn’t supposed to end up like me!”

David’s eyes widened. Was she saying…no. Leopold was an asshole and he had hurt Mary Margaret when she got pregnant, but he just assumed it was in the heat of the moment. She hadn’t…no…

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked, softly.

Mary Margaret’s lips trembled. “My dad would beat me and Regina. It was really, really bad. When she left, he got mad, because I had helped her. He told me…he told me that I had to make up for that…” She covered her face with her hands.

David’s muscles hadn’t untensed from when he read about Emma, but now they felt as though they were going to pop out of his sockets. He sunk completely to the floor and he pulled her into his arms. She collapsed, allowing herself to sob into his shoulder. He cradled the back of her head, kissing the top of her head.

“You didn’t deserve that, Mary Margaret,” he whispered. “You definitely didn’t.”

She didn’t respond, she just clung to him. David rest his chin atop her dark pixie cut. As his glassy eyes looked out to his office, he saw Emma standing there. Her backpack was dropped to the ground by her feet and she looked as shocked as he felt.

This probably wasn’t how Mary Margaret had expected Emma to find out about this.

#life unexpected verse #tw; abuse #snowing #snowing au #charming family #charming family au #daddy charming #daddy charming au #mama snow #mama snow au

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

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Ten Things I Learned from the Watchmen Movie

by Dan H

Thursday, 12 March 2009

Dan resists the urge to use a variant of “Who Watches the Watchmen” for his title.~

This was going to be a longer article, but I actually don't want to devote any more time to this ass-boring piece of shit.

Here's ten things I learned from watching the Watchmen (damn, I actually can't avoid using that sentence) movie.

1. I never want to see another Zack Snyder movie again. Seriously.

2. The seats in the Odeon are actually not fit for purpose.

3. When you decide not to see a movie because

one of the screenwriters is a smug twat

you should just not see it.

4. When adapting a comic book to the screen you should change the fucking dialogue. Things that look good written down just sound fucking stupid when somebody is trying to say them.

5. TV shows advertise in cinemas, how weird is that?

6. When you are adapting a comic book to the screen you should let the actors fucking move. Movies dudes – the clue is in the name.

7. When you are adapting a comic book to the screen you do not have to leave space in the shot for the speech bubbles.

8. If you get the urge to leave a cinema thirty minutes into the film, you should just leave. Particularly if you know exactly what every fucking scene will be because it does not deviate from the source material in any way.

9. Alan Moore dates really, really badly.

10. The plot of Watchmen doesn't actually make sense.

That's it. That's all the time and energy I can bring myself to expend on this.Themes:

TV & Movies

Watchmen

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Arthur B

at 09:54 on 2009-03-12On 2: Yes, definitely, they're terrible. There's no leg room, which I suppose is a vice which cinemas will always indulge in, but the lack of fucking

cup holders

is baffling. Do they

enjoy

cleaning up spillages?

On 9: Somewhat agreed. I think the film would have been more timely a few years ago, when people doing terrible things out of the fear of WMDs and Republican Presidents being cacklingly evil would have hit a bit more of a raw nerve. Even then, it would be a victim of the comic's success; pretty much everyone who writes superhero stories since

Watchmen

came out is responding to it, if only in the sense that just about everyone who writes superhero stories has read it and has an opinion (pro- or anti-, mainly pro-) on it. It changed the genre it studied, and therefore immediately became outdated.

I still think

From Hell

is the only Moore book which has a claim to timelessness. Maybe it's the fact that it's ruminating on crimes that were a century old when the book was written in the first place.

10: I think people make more of a big deal out of the plot than it really merits. (Seriously, who cares whether it's a fake alien squid or a fake blue dick that blows the cities up?) It's just a framing device which, IMO, is deliberately over-the-top and stupid because

Watchmen

is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

This does not change the fact that people are crying hot buttery tears about the squid not being in the film.

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Wardog

at 10:11 on 2009-03-12Watchmen is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

Really? I thought it was about comics?

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Arthur B

at 10:31 on 2009-03-12

Really? I thought it was about comics?

I am mildly confused as to what you mean here but I'll try to answer it.

When

Watchmen

was written the superhero genre consisted of a) comics and b) adaptations from the comics. You didn't have (to my knowledge) anything like

The Incredibles

Soon I Will Be Invincible

Wild Cards

, where you have original sources for superhero stories which aren't comics.

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Rami

at 10:36 on 2009-03-12What's faintly depressing is that lots of the vaguely interesting and meta things coming out of Watchmen have already been done on film (

even in CG

), and people are still going on about how Revolutionary it is.

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Arthur B

at 10:45 on 2009-03-12

The Incredibles

can't be revolutionary because nobody has their arms cut off with a circular saw.

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Rami

at 10:46 on 2009-03-12Oh yes that's right, it's too family-friendly to be Gritty and Edgy and Totally Making You Look Differently At Life...

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Dan H

at 11:28 on 2009-03-12

It's just a framing device which, IMO, is deliberately over-the-top and stupid because Watchmen is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

I dunno, I always thought that the whole "blow up the world to save the world" thing was supposed to be srs bzns. Fake Squid or Fake Blue Guy doesn't really make any difference, but I absolutely don't think it's supposed to be deliberately stupid.

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Arthur B

at 11:39 on 2009-03-12There's a man saying "What do you think I am? Some sort of supervillain?" as he wears a costume straight out of

Flash Gordon

in the middle of his Egyptian-themed fortress in the Antarctic as his genetically engineered lynx pads about, as the climax of an exchange in which he explains precisely how his scientifically ludicrous doomsday weapon fits into his epic scheme to change the world, and you think it's not intentionally silly?

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Dan H

at 11:50 on 2009-03-12I think it's intentionally *bathetic*.

You're missing two really important points, the first one being that the "what do you think I am, some sort of Supervillain" line is *followed* by the revelation that Ozymandias' scheme has actually worked. It's a bait-and-switch, he does the classic Villain speech in full on Villain attire in his Secret Arctic Base, but at the last second it is revealed that he has beaten the genre convention by putting his plan into action before the heroes were ready.

The second point is that Ozymandias' plan actually *works*. He genuinely does bring about world peace, and prevent the annihilation of humanity.

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Arthur B

at 12:02 on 2009-03-12But I think the point of the sequence is not to have a trite "guy who does supervillainous stuff but actually brings about a good thing" ending so much as it is meant to make a statement about the interaction of superheroes and supervillains (and to do that it needs to make sure the heroes are acting like heroes and the "villain" is acting like a wildly over-the-top villain).

The whole deal with the end of Watchmen is that it turns out Adrian was the only person acting proactively all along and everyone else was just reacting to him, just as in superhero comics in general the heroes are eternally reactive and only villains are proactive; it's the villains who are actually hoping to achieve something, and all the heroes ever try to do is get in the way of that.

But at the same time, I think in terms of the actual importance of

Watchmen

as a work the armageddon plot is one of the less significant parts. It's punchy when you read it the first time and it makes an interesting point, but it loses a lot of its impact when you know it's coming and the point it makes is kind of obvious. I liked it the first time I read the comic, but it's not the thing I

read the comic for - I reread it because of the character studies.

Put it this way: to my mind, you could swap out the entire armageddon story for some other MacGuffin, and

Watchmen

would still be a great book. But you couldn't lose the character studies without losing the spirit of the work. (It was originally conceived, after all, as a way for Moore to reimagine the various Charlton Comics characters that DC had acquired and introduce them to a modern audience).

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Arthur B

at 14:41 on 2009-03-12Having given the film more thought, I've decided that I'm actually really angry about the soundtrack: whoever picked the songs was the laziest motherfucker in the world, unfailingly picking the most obvious possible choice at any point. "The Times They Are A Changin-'" during an alternate history montage is an example, but I was particularly annoyed by the use of Cohen's "Hallelujah" during a love scene - it's a great song, but hasn't the poor thing been overexposed enough as it is? Let it rest.

The most bizarre aspect of it is that in the scene in question in the comic there's a Billie Holiday track playing in the background they could have happily used, and they'd get to stroke themselves and mutter about how loyal and true they were being to the source material. In fact, there's all sorts of song suggestions in the text which are pretty much ignored, so as well as being obvious, unoriginal, and inappropriate for the period the story is set in, the soundtrack is also incongruous for being the one aspect of the film which isn't striving towards loyalty. It's a small thing but it's really aggravating when you notice it - like if you realise the violinists in a symphony orchestra aren't bothering to play along with everyone else.

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http://fintinobrien.livejournal.com/

at 04:53 on 2009-03-13Point 3: Oh my god, Solid Snake is angry at me!

I like that Hayter talks about the "Snake fans" in the same sentence where he praises "smart" stories. Heehee, Metal Gear Solid is smart now. I must have missed the memo.

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Dan H

at 13:18 on 2009-03-13He's actually talking about Solid Snake from the metal gear series?

To be honest, I couldn't say who *else* he'd be talking about (unless it's the dude from the Simpsons).

To be honest, it was the reference to Rorshach fans that lost me - isn't the whole point of Rorshach that he actually *isn't* cool?

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Arthur B

at 13:23 on 2009-03-13David Hayter is the

English voice for Solid Snake.

Oh look, he's really excited by the idea of making a

Metal Gear Solid

movie! And he wants it made in CGI so he can voice Snake! Suddenly the motives behind his letter become clear...

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Wardog

at 14:52 on 2009-03-13Just when you thought things couldn't get any *worse.*

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Gina Dhawa

at 17:24 on 2009-03-13@10 - I love the thing to bitty pieces and the first time I got to the ending I said "....

wha?

". I think it's a faintly ludicrous plot, but I agree with Arthur that the plot is in fact is deliberately so. Veidt is closer to the superhero mould than anyone else (except Dr Manhattan), he's already "over the top". Not only is he smart enough to be a great traditional supervillain, even his physical feats are set as outstanding in the

Watchmen

universe - that whole thing about actually catching the bullet. This is why I like that they cast Matthew Goode, who looks far too young (not to mention fairly fragile) to be the comic's Adrian, because it brings to life how much larger than life Veidt really is.

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Arthur B

at 18:15 on 2009-03-13Yeah, while Dr Manhattan is the Watchman with the most actual superpowers I think there's a case to be made that Adrian is the closest out of all of them to the superheroes of the Silver Age; he's irritatingly perfect, never really worries about where he's going to get his resources from, pulls cool powers and gadgets out of his arse at a moment's notice and he never, ever, ever doubts himself for a second.

You could almost imagine him having Stan Lee's voice in his head breathlessly narrating all of his actions. DON'T MISS THE NEXT RIP-ROARING INSTALLMENT OF OZYMANDIAS, KING OF KINGS, AS OUR HERCULEAN HIEROPHANT BATTLES THE MUCK-RAKING MILKSOPS AT THE NEW FRONTIERSMAN!

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http://fintinobrien.livejournal.com/

at 04:00 on 2009-03-14

To be honest, it was the reference to Rorshach fans that lost me - isn't the whole point of Rorshach that he actually *isn't* cool?

Considering Hayter's draft for the script had Dreiberg killing Adrian because "it's what Rorschach would have done" I think Hayter missed that point. Actually, the idea that Rorschach is meant to be held up as an inspiration disturbs more than I'd like to go into.

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Wardog

at 10:51 on 2009-03-14God yes - you're absolutely right.

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Arthur B

at 13:10 on 2009-03-14Alan Moore has actually read Hayter's draft of the script - he said it was pretty close to the comic, but he still objected on the grounds that he thinks direct adaptations of comic books are a bad idea on principle. He's also mentioned being worried that Snyder would treat Rorschach as a heroic figure, considering his treatment of

300

; I don't know whether that worry came from reading Hayter's script, but I certainly don't think it would have been alleviated by it.

Still, the actor who plays Rorschach in the film does a good job of coming across as a psychopath, so at least

understands.

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Arthur B

at 11:14 on 2009-03-18So, David Hayter wanted everyone to go see

Watchmen

on the second weekend to make sure the film's earnings didn't collapse.

Well, an

approximately 70% drop

not really what he was hoping for

. Snake won't be pleased.

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Dan H

at 15:17 on 2009-03-18♪♪ It's ... Schaaaa-denfreude. Making the world a better place to beee.... ♪♪

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Arthur B

at 11:11 on 2009-03-25More schadenfreude:

Watchmen

performed

absolutely miserably

in its third weekend, and there's a growing consensus that, whatever its merits, it's a financial dud.

Of course, this means that Zack Snyder won't be able to find work in Hollywood ever ag

WAIT WHAT THE-

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Arthur B

at 16:13 on 2009-04-27Another dose of schadenfreude:

Watchmen

performance in the box office

seems to have been mildly worse than

Batman and Robin

's.

The consensus seems to be it's going to end up making some money on DVD sales, which is a consolation for the studio, but it's not delivered the dizzying return on investment that would have made sinking $100 million into it worthwhile.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

at 08:34 on 2009-12-19Charitably? I'm inclined to think whoever picked the soundtrack was trying to call attention to the very soundtrackness of it, to pull the readers out of the scene a little bit. The comic book had the Tales form the Black Freighter overlaying the action providing a similar distance/ironic commentary, and also reminded you you were in a comic by doing tricks with the layout in Manhattan's chapters and elsewhere.

I'm not defending it, I think the soundtrack mostly backfires horribly and comes across and cutesy fourth-wall breaking, but that's my guess as to the intending effect.

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#Ferretbrain #Watchman #Dan H

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septembercfawkes · 6 years

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How to Handle Blocking in Your Story

Hopefully by now you know that in most of your scenes you need to have a character in a setting with tension, but there is an area of writing where I don't feel like we spend enough time talking about, which is blocking. And I'm not talking about writer's block. The term "blocking" is borrowed from play performances. Blocking is just about anything an actor does that isn't dialogue: where they stand, where they look, how they interact with the setting, how they move across the stage, how close they are to what, how they interact with props. Often audiences pay little attention to blocking, or rather they don't think about it enough to appreciate it. But if a play has little to no blocking, well, that's a tough play to sit through as an audience. They may not always have an eye for great blocking, but they'll notice if it's not there. Blocking is just as important in fiction writing. And like with plays, it's likely the reader won't appreciate great blocking, but they'll get antsy and annoyed if there is no blocking, and they'll get confused if there is poor blocking. If you don't use blocking, not only does it make it difficult for the audience to imagine where your characters are relative to the setting, but you're selling your story short by not using it to your advantage. As an editor, I see blocking problems crop up from time to time, usually in dialogue scenes. The writer will tell me where the characters are (for example, cooking in the kitchen), but then as I read the scene, I get no sense of specifically where each character is in the room, what each one is doing, if they are standing at an island or sitting at the table, chopping lettuce for a salad, or loading the dish washer. Next thing I know, not only are they done cooking, but they are done eating and are outside getting in the suburban. Sure, some scenes don't require much, if any, blocking. But in most scenes, you need some sense of blocking. Likewise, you can over-block a scene--putting so much blocking in, that it becomes unnecessary, sucks up the scene's focus, and slows the pacing. A great narrative hand knows how much to guide the reader and when to back off. So let's get to some tips about blocking:

Watch out for:

- Continuity Errors. One of the main problems I see with blocking in unpublished fiction is continuity errors. In one line, a character is sitting on a couch in the living room, and a few lines later, she's sitting on her bed, in the same scene with no sense of motion. Often it can happen with objects characters are holding. Misty is knitting a scarf, but then a few lines later, it says she's knitting a blanket. It can happen with food. Zack has a cup of orange juice, but later it talks about how he's enjoying the taste of coffee. Watch out for when characters' hands are full or when you have them doing something they aren't capable of. For example, say it's been recently established that Sandra glued back together two broken figurines and she's holding one each hand. While she's waiting for them to dry, she doesn't dare put them down , and then suddenly she's buttoning up the jacket of her little boy. What happened to the figurines? In some cases, motions can be assumed--but make sure they can be, or that you imply them somehow, so that it doesn't read like a continuity error. Watch out for having characters sit down, who were already sitting, or characters standing up who were already standing. Characters who put on their shoes twice, or turn off the fan twice.

- Spatial Vagueness. I'm trying to decide if I see this one more than continuity errors . . . and I have to say probably. Another one of the most common problems with blocking, is vagueness. This usually happens because the setting, objects, or characters' distances from one another or other things haven't been properly established. I might get a line that says, "Joey walked down the street"--and as the scene goes on, I get no sense of what street, what city, what it looks like, what season it is, or where or why he is walking in the first place. Sometimes I don't get any sense of setting and only conversations and body language, and next I know, I read the line "Tiff walked inside." What? They were outside that whole conversation? And what did she walk into? When blocking is vague, the audience has to fill in the blanks, which can be a problem if it's not what the author actually pictures. As an editor, this often happens to me. I'll be picturing the characters sitting in opposite places in a living room, and then suddenly I'm reading how one put her arm around the other. In my head, they weren't close enough to each other to do that. Use:

- Specificity. Being specific isn't necessarily the same as being detailed. Details can help make something be specific, but they aren't the same thing. And with blocking, in some cases, the more detailed it is, the more it hurts the story because it slows the pacing and changes the story's focus. In my example above, "Joey walked down the street," the sentence can be more specific by adding and changing a few words. "Joey walked down Mulberry Street, autumn leaves crunching under his feet." In certain kinds of action scenes, it can be very important to be specific in word choice, and not in details. "Joey leapt for the fire escape." "Margaret hit Lolly in the jaw." But if you try to put too much detail into action, it can slow the moment way down. In some cases, it's helpful to establish the setting before the characters start interacting with it. This makes the setting or "stage" more specific in the reader's mind. They know there is a pool table and pinball machine in the room, so when one character slams the other into the pool table, it makes sense. Be specific, not vague. How much detail you include depends on pacing and the focus of the scene. - Blocking to contribute to or emphasize points. This is especially true for conversations. As an argument gets more intense, a character may invade the other's personal space. If one character suddenly says something that makes the other uncomfortable, the latter may take a step back. If one character is vulnerable, whether the second draws closer or steps away can convey a lot. Of course, you can use setting and props to do the same thing. As an argument gets intense, one character throws something at the other. If someone is uncomfortable, she might put something (an island, a couch, a car, a teeter-totter) between them. If she's feeling vulnerable, she might "hide" or "block" herself by getting a blanket, picking up a book to look at, or turning away from the speaker to pretend interest in a rose bush. When Sherlock gets frustrated, what does he do? He stabs the mantle. He puts a bullet in the wall. This is blocking that emphasizes and contributes to the situation or point at hand. Even in a scene where blocking is the primary focus (building an invention, competing in America Ninja Warrior, forging a sword, hunting), how the character interacts with the setting and objects can emphasize points--how tightly he holds a screwdriver, how sweaty her hands are against a climbing wall, the way he beats the metal, how many shots she shoots. You can also use blocking to heighten tension. "He picked up a knife and concealed it under the table," immediately adds tension and anticipation to a scene.

- Blocking to Convey Character. Similar, yet different from, the last section, you can use blocking to convey character, rather than just the moment at hand. The fact that Sherlock stabs the mantle whenever he gets frustrated is something specific to his character. It helps establish who he is. And actually, that fact becomes specifically important in season four--when we understand that he, someone who is supposedly not driven by emotion, sometimes manifests more raw emotion than any one else. A character who sees litter at a park and picks it up is much different than one who adds to it. A character who comforts a crying stranger is different than one who ignores them. A character who always makes sure she's near an exit is different than one who could care less. Blocking is great to show character and their feelings, rather than tell them. - Blocking to give motion to still or stagnant scenes. You may sometimes have scenes where all that really matters is the conversation between two of your characters, or maybe you need to have your character delve into a moment of introspection to solve a mystery. It might not matter even where this moment takes place. A lot of beginning writers will open a story with a character sitting and thinking. One of the reasons this is a problem is because there is no motion, there is nothing happening in the present moment. Use blocking to add motion. Instead of having your character sit and think, maybe you can have her catching insects for her bug collection while she thinks. Not only does this create more motion and interest, but also gives you material for the two bullet points before this one, so that it can actually add to the introspection and characterization. The fact she just caught a monarch butterfly might not be important to the main plot, but it tells us more about her, and in fact, you can even use that event and butterfly as a type or symbol of whatever she's thinking about for added emphasis and tone. With that said, some conversations are very important, interesting, have high tension, or natural draws--they may have incorporeal motion--and already carry the audience, and sometimes when you put in blocking, it actually takes away from that, instead of contributing to it, by drawing away the audience's attention. Their attention to the conversation is competing with the blocking. So watch for that. - Blocking for natural pauses, lulls in conversations, and for beats in dialogue. On the topic of dialogue exchanges, when there is a natural pause in dialogue or a lull in conversation, instead of saying "There was a moment of quiet," you can put in a bit of blocking to convey that. "Forget it," Fred said. "I didn't want your help anyway." Nancy looked down at the scarf she was crocheting and realized her hands had stopped moving. She put the scarf down on the coffee table, and flattened it out as she tried to find her words. "You like her, don't you?" she asked. You can also use blocking for beats in dialogue. Rather than always using dialogue tags, you can use a beat to imply who is speaking what line. "Cedric Diggory was murdered," Harry said. "Whatever you've been told," Professor Umbridge said, "that. Is. A. Lie." Harry shot up out of his desk. "It's not a lie!"

Bonus

Watch this short scene between Umbridge and McGonagall for a good example of how blocking conveys character, emphasizes points, adds motion to the scene, and how it's weaved in with dialogue. In addition to the two professors, notice the blocking in regards to the students and what it conveys.

Intermediate Tip:

Try to have your blocking accomplish more than one thing. Maybe it can hike up tension and convey character. Maybe it can emphasize a point and help us follow a fight scene. Maybe it can replace a dialogue tag and convey something important about the setting. And remember, in some scenes blocking is more important than in other scenes. If you would like to learn more about blocking, Writing Excuses has a podcast episode on it.

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colllapsingstarr-blog · 5 years

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giant panic reclist (organized by ship)

So, I organized everything by ship because you never know what people are into, and I read pretty much anything and everything I can get my hands on that’s long. This is a fanfiction reclist for Panic! at the Disco fics only. Will I ever address other bands? Perhaps. Everything’s below the break.

Note: I have not read every Panic! fic in existence. Cut me some slack here if your absolute favorite isn’t on this list, and if it’s NOT please send it to me, I’d love to read it!

I’ll be including poly ships in the next list, because this list is long enough as it is. If I were to add poly ships, we’d be here all day.

Let’s start with the popular ones, shall we?

Format: Title by Author (click for story) | Rating, Word count, Author’s summary | Personal thoughts

If a link is broken/incorrect, please let me know. That stuff’s embarrassing.

Fics may or may not require an AO3 login (as I have an account, so I don’t know which are locked and which aren’t). Any fics hosted on LiveJournal (noted with a * at the start of the title) do not require a login, as far as I’m aware, because I don’t have a LiveJournal.

Ryden

- Sense of Touch by pressdbtwnpages | G, 5434, Brendon and Ryan turn into otters, but that's just the beginning of the problem. | It’s been a while since I’ve read this story (I did, once upon a time.) I don’t remember much, but this is pretty much absolutely hilarious.

- Just One of the Girls by skoosiepants | T, 20830, "Spence, I'm. Look, I'm going to prove this girl-thing to you, okay? I'm going to," he held up his hands, "this is so brilliant, I'm going to become a girl." | I actually really enjoyed this fic. It was interesting to see all the different interactions, and the way that it actually sort of all comes together in the end.

- for other meanings of tsunami by jocondite | T, 36352, On the Nothing Rhymes With Circus tour, Brendon comes up with a brilliant, brilliant plan to get regular orgasms without resorting to the palpitating groupies Zack disapproves of. Sure, he's never thought of himself as gay, but blowjobs know no gender, and if Ryan's willing, why the hell not? The path to true Nirvana is anything but smooth, though, and a lot of bad sex later, Brendon figures a few things out. | This speaks for itself, I’m pretty sure. This is a reclist. I’m soft for long fics.

- You Will Know The Difference When I Touch You by two_waymirror | E, 5348, It wasn’t a gay thing at first. Well, it was possible that Brendon had a tiny little crush on Ryan, but it was a buried thing in the back of his still-half-Mormon brain, emerging very slowly. | Not as long as most of my favorites, but still well-written.

- A Light On a Hill by rubblerousing | T, 17918, My greatest flaw is that I keep a running list of eight separate sentences that I, at one point in my life, have spoken aloud and which could have, maybe, possibly, embodied within them the reason Ryan Ross has decided to hate me. Some people’s greatest flaws are their overly prominent features. Some people would tell me my greatest flaw should be my overly prominent features. My friends would say my greatest flaw is that I am too outspoken; people who are under the delusion they are my friends but in actuality are not would say my greatest flaw is that I am too reserved. Maybe it’s the other way around. If I were a better person and could admit I probably very dearly ought to be under the watchful eye of a psychiatrist, because I have some kind of obsession with thinking about things too much, and with keeping lists, then my psychiatrist would say my greatest flaws are cowardice, being unable to move on from the past, an addiction to adulation, keeping lists, and perhaps Ryan Ross, if I ever got around to mentioning him. | I’m not a big fan of first person POV fics in general, no matter if it’s in irl books or in fanfiction, but here it just...works? I don’t know. Read it for yourself.

- Anyone Else But You by zarah5 | M, 67238, College AU. Panic never formed at high school. Instead, they meet at college, and in between striking up a friendship with his working colleague Spencer and trying to ensure that his roommate Jon doesn’t get sick of him, in between forming a band and writing songs, Brendon would really appreciate it if his bandmate (and Spencer’s best friend) Ryan Ross didn’t turn out to be Brendon’s TA. Especially considering their fling just before the start of the term. | You may or may not have read this already. This fic is worth rereading, though.

- Leaving Without Moving by northern | E, 29874, "I'm not trying to embarrass you or anything here. But seriously, I'm just trying to make things clear - what you want is to be my own personal little toy, is that it? You want to be my pet in the... pet sense?" “Not if you're not interested," Ryan gritted out, hot with shame. "You can stop making fun of me now. That was fucking hard to say." He rested his head on his arms, feeling weak and slightly nauseated with how his stomach was churning. | Not a fan of vampire AUs, ordinarily. I’m okay with blood, but for some reason vampire AUs aren’t my thing. However, I was willing to make an exception for this fic and I’m glad I did, because even though it isn’t my normal pick of AU, it’s really well-written.

- A tendency to wear hearts on sleeves by kyasuriin | G, 1758, A guitar is perhaps not something that friends, even bandmates, get for each other. Brendon just hopes Ryan won't notice the way his heart is practically falling off his sleeve. | Um. Don’t have much to say on this one?

- The Heart Rate of a Mouse by arctic_grey | Not including stats | Well-known. Don’t need to say anything. Loved this fic.

- Oh Doctor Doctor by softlyforgotten | E, 17269, It was just that on his first day in the oncology department of the hospital six years ago, he'd been introduced to Dr Ryan Ross, Head Surgeon, and fallen stupidly and irrevocably in love with him, and that, apparently, was that. (A hospital AU.) | The title reminds me of Razia’s Shadow, so when I saw this it was an instant click. Love how this fic isn’t just about the relationship (despite the implications of the summary); there’s more to it.

- *Back To The Place by behindthec | E, around 93000, Once upon a time, Panic went to a cabin in the mountains to write an album they never made. One night there, something happened that Ryan tried to forget. Two years later, he still hasn't. | I have. No words for this fic. It is just that good. I know that the primary site for fanfiction is AO3, and a lot of fics are cross-posted (I tried to find what I could on AO3, because on some I have the LJ version bookmarked), but consider trying out a different format for reading. It’s a little annoying, but this fic makes it so worth it.

- *Ryan Ross: Wedding Planner (What We Do Is Love) by adellyna | M, Unknown, Ryan plans weddings! Just not gay weddings. Ok, maybe just this once. | Hilarious one-shot. Like. This is serious fic, but also very, very funny.

- *just this once, be my savior by sinuous_curve and insunshine | E, around 32k, In which Ryan has a daughter, Brendon has a nephew and somehow, they manage to fall in love. | Kid!fic.

Brallon

Doing this reclist made me realize exactly how few fics I read with just this pairing. I normally read the two of them with someone else in a poly ‘ship, but not the two of them by themselves? (send me some. please)

(I actually have read one I liked, but I’m too lazy to dig it up. The title was something in French, I think.)

Brencer

This pairing is a hard preference over most other pairings. I just. Like it a lot.

There are probably more fics on this list than there are in any other ship I include on this list.

- There Should Be A Name For Something Like This by skoosiepants | T, 3777, It was the best idea Brendon had ever had, ever. | Sometimes I read things because they’re long and have a good summary, and other times I just want a laugh. This is one of those fics.

- Supersaturation by skoosiepants | T, 15017, Brendon's a little in love with Lieutenant Spencer Smith. And not, like, fifteen-year-old girl love, either, but the kind of love where his chest hurts and he wants to be around him constantly and he wants into his pants, and okay. It pretty much sounds like fifteen-year-old girl love, but it's not, no matter what Ryan says. Spencer is just. Pretty. And competent and, okay, the sidearm is totally sexy. He didn't think he'd ever go for that, but the handling of it, his hands, really, and the thigh holster? Makes Brendon want to lick him. A lot. | Not linking the whole series because I’ve only read the first two. Crossover with Stargate Atlantis, but I have absolutely no knowledge of that fandom, and I was perfectly fine.

- Certain Coasts Set Apart by skoosiepants | T, 15327, It was easier to get lost on the Virginian coast than Spencer thought it would be. | This is one of two Spencer-ends-up-isolated-from-Panic!fics that I love. Both of their plots are actually caused by similar catalysts, surprisingly.

- Anywhere You Let It Go by skoosiepants | T, 21211, "Okay, this is what I've figured out so far. I'm stuck in some sort of hell that looks vaguely like a Sandra Bullock movie." | Brencer is sort of a side pairing, but I’m still considering it because it drives the plot and isn’t just an aside for the main character (Patrick).

- the Sweater Vests series by disarm_d | E, 15709, (first work summary) Spencer can't believe himself for trying something like this. He can't believe that he'd risk his friendship with Brendon, his friendships with everyone else if Brendon decided to tell, his place in the school if Brendon caused enough fuss. Except that when Brendon's tongue brushes over his lower lip, it's easier to understand why. | British boarding school AU! Angst! Hurty, but in the good way.

- Towns Flying By by jocondite | T, 3976, Brendon is very much in love with the van. He draws a ragged row of little black hearts on the back door, just above where some girl in some town had scrawled her phone number. He loves it right up until the heat cuts out somewhere in the middle of Colorado that first November. (Cuddling for warmth). | Cute fluff.

- The Way It Is Now by skoosiepants | T, 5790, He ponders on how exactly to phrase his question. Finally, he sends, is spencer dying andor eating babies | This author is on this reclist a lot? Maybe, but they write excellent fic.

- The Magic Friend Band by skoosiepants | T, 9408, The totally true story of how Spencer Smith joined Patrick & Brendon's Magic Friend Band. | This author actually writes really funny stories. They’re enjoyable, but also have an underlying thread of seriousness.

- Once Upon a Time’s Only Fiction When Tomorrow Becomes Today by rossetti | E, 13344, The year Virginia Dale Wentz turns five her parents die in an accident aboard a chartered day-boat to Catalina. | Under Brencer because that’s endgame. Ryan/Spencer is a thing but only as friends with benefits. Kid!fic. Always adorable.

- In the Sirocco by sevenfists | M, 12241, A story about hypnosis, God, marijuana, and true love. | There are two hypnotism stories on this list. This is the more angsty one.

- Panic! at the Barn-Raising series by vixalicious | T, 20895, (first work) Um. They're Amish. | Sort of ridiculous but really also quite good.

- Tell me to stop by AirgiodSLV | E, 29335, “You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy.” | Warning: kink fic. I might be ace and don’t get off on it, but I can still appreciate it for what it is.

- But you can’t be missed by elenor_lavish | E, 20664, "No, I mean. It's like you haven't aged a single day." Ryan steals another glance, and Brendon looks uncomfortably out the window. The back streets of Vegas look a lot like he remembers them. The cars in the driveways aren't really different, people are still dressed the same, dragging their trash to the sidewalk in their pajamas. No one's in some sort of space-age suit or wearing a video visor, or walking a robotic dog. If Brendon was going to be dropped unceremoniously into the future without his consent, there could at least be robotic dogs. | Time travel fic! Um. This one is sort of weird, but it’s also really good.

- The Sweet Spot by vixalicious | T (though I think it’s closer to M), 14872, "Responsibility" should be Spencer Smith's middle name (except it's James). After all, not many people would sacrifice their lives to run the family bakery and raise their twin sisters. But now the girls are grown, and Spencer has to learn to put his own needs first! And Brendon, the Sweet Spot's newest regular, might just be what Spencer's looking for. But will Brendon's past get in the way of their present? | I’m pretty sure this was for the LJ challenge harlequin_bands, and it shows, but I’m into those tropes, so it’s all good.

- All In The Way That You Trip by skoosiepants | M, 22199, “I’m going to ask you one more time,” he says, and he looks – Brendon shudders – he looks like he wants Brendon to stay quiet, like he’s just itching to take Brendon apart and maybe put him back together wrong. “Where is Ryan?” | I initially read this fic on LJ, so when I found out that it was also hosted on AO3, I was like: huh? But: secret agent!Spencer is a concept I can get behind.

- Personal Affairs by zarah5 | M, 31094, Office AU. When Spencer Smith is put in charge of planning some legal aspects of a top secret, rather spectacular take-over of another company, he quickly falls into an e-mail sort-of-flirtation with his colleague at another site, Brendon Urie. But when Brendon actually visits New York and Spencer for a face-to-face meeting, Spencer withdraws because how do you handle it when someone you exchanged countless e-mails with turns out to be just as hot as you imagined? | I am NOT qualified to make a reclist where I give my own thoughts, okay? This fic was really good, albeit the conflict was superficial.

- Only Unto Him by disarm_d | E, 25837, As a Prince(ish person), Spencer was meant to be pure in every way. He didn't know what to expect from an arranged marriage — but certainly not Brendon's incessant grabby hands. Who did this bouncy, mysterious stranger think he was? AND ARE SEXY TIMEZ EVER GOING TO HAPPEN? [Hint: it is quite likely they are.] | This fic is great. This was another one I originally read on LJ, but I reread it on AO3, so. You don’t lose anything from the switch between platforms, and for me it’s easier to read it all in one place (so I always turn on read full work on AO3 instead of chapter by chapter, so theoretically I can read it all in one sitting.)

- Stranger In This Town by seratonation | E, 11427, It was an idyllic sort of life. He had a secure job, a substantial paycheck, and a loving husband. And yet, Spencer felt tired. He felt numb, like everything around him was fading, or maybe it was the other way around, and he was the one who was fading. | I have Not seen the movie this is based on, but most fics that are based off of other things you don’t need knowledge of it for.

- If You’re Listening, Sing It Back by blackbird | E, 10079, If sometimes he ends up in the men's room with another guy pressed up against the door, that's no one else's business. Until one morning, by accident, it is. | I recently reread this fic, and most of the fics I’ve read are just as good on the reread.

- Closer by tigs | T, 1725, It feels different when, the moment Ryan sees them, he slams to a halt and says, "Shhh! We don't want to interrupt Spence and Brendon's cuddle time!" | Cuddle time! Accidental relationships!

- Into This Dream by (an orphaned account) | E, 28417, He's my best friend. I wish I could have been his. | I really understand Brendon in this fic. Wanting someone to be as close of friends with someone as you are with them is familiar to me, so Brendon’s decisions make a little more sense. (But I’m aromantic! So there is no romantic interest in my friends. So similar, but not completely the same.)

- And I’d Be Your Memory by tigs | Unrated, 8383, And somehow, midway through the tour, the postcard collecting becomes known as Brendon’s thing. | This is a feel-good fic.

- The Estranged Governess by wildestranger | E, 33258, Brendon is a governess with a disgraced past, who comes to teach the young cousins of Sir Spencer Smith. Sir Spencer is amused by this bouncy young man, and finds himself paying far to much attention to Mr Boyd's secretive manner as well as to the way he fills his regrettably old and worn clothes . Furthermore, Sir Spencer's oldest friend, the dissolute Lord Ross, is trying to woo, unsuccessfully, his estate manager Mr Walker. despite the tumultuous passion between them, Mr Walker refuses to give in to Lord Ross's advances as long as Lord Ross refuses to admit that it is more than a tumble in the hey that he wants from Mr Walker. Fortunately, Walker is a patient man and willing to wait while Ross goes through his tantrums. To this entangled situation arrives Mr Wentz, a cousin of Sir Spencer and an old flame of Lord Ross. Mr Wentz is known for his debauched lifestyle and delights in causing mayhem - and he seems far too interested in Sir Spencer's new tutor. But will the lovers find a way? Will Brendon lose his flower and find healing through the magic of buttsex? Will Ryan learn to admit his feelings and finally convince Jon Walker to bed him? | For some reason I associate this fic with this GSF fic that will be later on this list.

- Sea Change by sunsetmog | M, 53895, After getting his heart broken, Spencer tries to start a new life without the band. | This is the other Spencer-leaves-Panic! fic on this list. This one’s a lot more angsty, but also really great.

- Lights Never Shine as Bright as in the Movies by Sena | E, 35251, Brendon Urie's a master's student in music at UNLV who happens to make porn on the side. Spencer Smith's a wilderness photographer who happens to really, really like the online porn Brendon makes. They meet and shenanigans ensue. Also featuring Shane Valdes as Brendon's roommate and owner of his very own online porn site, William Beckett as Las Vegas' bitchiest maitre 'd, Gabe Saporta as a mime waiter, Greta Salpeter as a harried and overworked assistant, and Ryan Ross as himself. | It’s a...lot more angsty than you might think it is based on the summary.

- This Kind of Experience is Necessary For Her Learning by sinuous_curve | E, 8867, High on his shoulder, just off the ridge of his shoulder blade, he has an oblong bruise sunk into his skin. It's bright, livid purple, ridged with a regular series of darker spots along the edge. Spencer has a moment of wondering whether he was the victim of a prank he's since forgotten about or if he got abducted by aliens or someshit. Then, in a rush, he remembers. | Kink story. Why is Brencer the ship where everyone writes the kink stories? Serious question.

- E-mail Ficcish: Ashlee Simpson, Girl Romance Detective by Elucreh | T, 1370, RACHEL: http://twitter.com/petewentz/statuses/8302818080 LU: OH MY GOD, PETE, I LOVE HOW MARRIED YOUR DOUBLE DATE COMPANIONS ARE RACHEL: This is clearly the fic where Ashlee thinks they ARE dating and there's a lot of awkward coughing and hemming and hawing when they try to explain that uh... actually no?(BUT OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE IN LOVE) | AAAAAAAA

- More Adventurous by fictionalaspect | E, 48831, Spencer wondered if everyone thought he and Brendon were dating. He wondered about the way Brendon was always so tactile with him, the effortless way Brendon sort of fell into Spencer's personal space like he belonged there. He wondered if it was weird that Brendon was sleeping in his bed, if maybe Jess had just misheard him and assumed they were sleeping together in Spencer's bed, like Spencer used to do with Ryan. It got to the point that he wasn't even paying attention to what was going on in the game, and thus was totally blindsided when a particularly impressive kick by Taylor Murphy caught Spencer squarely in the balls. "Motherfucker," Spencer swore, when he felt himself capable of forming words again. "Happens to the best of us," Mr. Davies said, clapping him firmly on the shoulder. The impact jarred his back and by extension Spencer's sore balls, and he squeaked in pain. "You'll be alright," Mr. Davies said. "Just keep your eye on the ball next time. And watch that language." "Sure," Spencer said, instead of what he wanted to say, which was "Fuck you, douchebag." Spencer didn't need his gym teacher's sympathy, he needed a fucking ice pack. | Panic! at the Disco’s origin story is seriously like a fanfiction. Seriously.

- The Name of this Thing is Not Love by fictionalaspect | E, 21912, "I'm telling you," Jon says, and clicks his tongue behind his teeth like a disappointed grandmother. "There's a whole other world out there, man. You need to expand your horizons a little." "That's nice," Spencer says. It gives him a weird jolt in his stomach, to hear Jon spell it out like that. "Thank you for your concern. My sexuality is fine, thanks. It doesn't need your sympathy or your support." "It might get you laid," Jon says. "I get laid," Spencer says. "Sometimes." "No, you don't," Jon says. "You think very hard about it, decide it isn't worth it, and then you go home and order Chinese." | This fic, for some reason, feels like part of an almost totally unrelated story written way earlier by a different author. Like. Seriously.

- When Life Gives You Lemons (Say F**k the Lemons and Bail) by fiddleyoumust | E, 26475, Brendon and Spencer go on a cruise to escape their problems. They end up finding more than rest and relaxation. | Stands on its own.

- Amateur Cartography by fictionalaspect | E, 42365, In the summer of 2008, Brendon’s still trying to figure everything out. He’s good at keeping his own secrets, but when a prank goes awry, he’s faced with the realization that Spencer has some secrets of his own. They end up stumbling backwards into a complicated relationship—one that definitely doesn’t include sex. Or does it? | Again, kink fic. There are a few more on this list, I think.

- Works Both Ways by rsadelle | M, 1255, "The mate bond works both ways." Mark seems to realize that no one knows what to say to that, and he looks over at Spencer. "Are we not supposed to say anything about that?" | Werewolf AU.

- The Amazing Tail of Brendon Boyd Urie by RedOrchid | T, 1977, For the prompt: Brendon/Spencer, born with a tail. Written for no-tags 2011 | I’m pretty sure this is crack.

- If Music Be The Food Of Love (I’ll Have The Veggie Burger) by sunsetmog | M, 42250, Oblivious High School Failboats in Love, or, Brendon Urie: The High School Years. | Seriously. Panic!’s origin is very much so like a fanfic.

- Love Makes People Do The Wacky (or: Brendon Urie and Jon Walker, Adventures in Bromance) by ohohstarryeyed | M, 10651, As far as Brendon is concerned, being in love with Spencer would fucking suck, if it weren't for Jon Walker. | The power of friendship!

- Thereafter You Have It (And Tango Makes Three) by sunsetmog | E, 89286, Baby!fic. As harriet_vane succinctly put it, the almost true story of how Brendon's an idiot, Spencer brings Brendon shiny rocks, and no one gets any sleep. Or, alternatively, the one in which Brendon accidentally gets a girl pregnant, decides he wants to be a dad, and pretends like he's not in love with Spencer. "Hey, baby girl," Brendon says, softly. He thinks he should have thought of something more profound to welcome his daughter in to the world. | Kid!fic is my weakness, okay?

- Do Rockstars Dream Of Electric Sheep? by themoononastick | M, 18229, Spencer has weird dreams, questions his sexuality and spends a lot of time hiding things away in boxes in his mind. | This one is...weird and sort of puts you in a daze. I don’t know, okay?

- Here At The Right Time by sunsetmog | E, 51477, How had he managed to get this far in life without realizing exactly what it was that turned him on? | More kink-based fic.

- Cute Girls (Just Wanna Have Fun) by LittleMousling | E, 36960, Brent may have tricked Ryan and Spencer into auditioning a girl guitarist, but there's no question that Brendon is the best they've seen. Soon enough she's their new best buddy, too, hanging out at Spencer's house almost as much as Ryan does. The band is finally coming together, and Spencer's starting to think they might really make it as musicians--if she can stop getting distracted by her hopeless crush on Brendon. | The third early-Panic!-retelling I have. (There might be more idk.)

- A Presumption of Functionality (A Gas-Light Romance) by sunsetmog | G, 44502, When a spy brings news that an old inventor might have the key to finally bringing the war with Napoleon to an end, Spencer Smith, Officer of His Majesty's War Office, is dispatched north to discover if there's anything to these tales of dirigibles and flying-craft. Instead of flying-craft, however, he finds a unusual, dilapidated house – and instead of an old inventor, he finds Brendon Urie, complete with his pet hedgehog. With Brendon's scientist grandfather missing, Spencer is left trying to protect Brendon, rescue his grandfather and ensure that the secrets of flying-craft remain out of enemy hands. Vaguely steampunk-y AU in which the Napoleonic Wars didn't end with the Battle of Waterloo in 1815, but instead carried on well into the next decade. | I’m weak for steampunk AUs.

- Graham Need Not Apply by Pennyplainknits | T, 10327, Spencer doesn't want to be just one in a string of drummers for Panic. He's trying his hardest not to be another Graham, which would be easier if someone would tell him exactly what it is that Graham did. Or: Spencer pines, Brendon is a brave little toaster, and Ryan Ross will cut you. | That last part is practically a summary of most Brencer fics.

- I’d Hate To See You Frown by oanja | T, 52114, One would think that agreeing to an arranged marriage would make Spencer unhappy, but in fact he has nothing against it. Spencer has never been one to waste his time imagining swooping romances for himself, so settling for something more pragmatic is fine by him - especially as it's so beneficial to the family business. What he did not account for was his best friend Ryan becoming entangled in a very unsuitable affair with a libertarian, or that he would find his new spouse so appealing. Trying to prevent Ryan from ruining his reputation while adjusting to married life is going to require a delicate touch, which is not something Spencer has ever been known for. | Regency AU.

- Call It Home series by sunsetmog and fictionalaspect | E, 45630, Brendon feels like the one fixed thing in his life, the one unchangeable constant that Spencer can rely on even when everything around him is going to shit. It just figures that Spencer's going to ruin that, too, when they get back to LA and he makes his move. | This series was supposedly going to have more installments (I saw this on LJ, too), but with the two stories it currently has, it still feels complete.

- A Troubling of Hummingbirds by jukeboxghost | E, 11407, "Man," says Spencer, articulately, but Brendon gets it, he does. Here they are, here for a few days with two rented surfboards held together by layer after layer of duct tape and surfwax, the sweet smell of pungently rotting kelp, even sweeter surf, fresh fish and smokin' BBQ and gentle dusk every night and it's so utterly indulgent. Brendon feels fucking, like, nourished, feels like his insides have been scrubbed clean and copper-bright with wire wool, like all the dust and detritus and loose, lost feelings have been swept neatly into the corner, pruned and weeded and spring-cleaned. He takes a huge breath in. "Fuck yeah," he says. | This fic is sort of weird and airy in the unsettling way, but it’s really well-written.

- Hold on Tight and Don’t Let Go by fiddleyoumust | T, 13975, In reality, Brent brings Brendon to practice and Spencer falls in love with him the moment he bounces through the door of Spencer's garage. | The Story of Panic!, as told by yet another author.

- Stop Breathe Count To Three by sunsetmog and I think fictionalaspect (but I’m not completely sure on that) | E, 14907, "So, it's a comfort thing. It's just a comfort thing. Sometimes Brendon likes to suck on Spencer's nipples, and Spencer likes to hold him there and stroke his hair. Nothing weird about that." Or: We're not sorry. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. | This one’s sort of weird, but that’s okay.

- White Houses series by boxparade | Unrated, 44628, The one where Brendon is a music major who works at a diner and Spencer is the culinary arts major who thinks he’s cute. Ryan is all philosophical and kinda creepy (duh) and Jon works for Spencer’s dad, who happens to be the President of the United States. | Fluffy.

- Don’t cut your hair (Do you think it’s going to make him change?) by harriet_vane | T, 38891, The original summary was: Set a little while in the future. The band takes a break and Brendon gets bored. Spencer goes with him. Now I suppose it would be "Set a little bit in a slightly nicer past, where Brendon and Spencer go on tour by themselves but it isn't the end of the band." | Haven’t read this one in a while. I need to reread it, but I remember it being good.

- Suppose We Never Ever by playfullips | M, 23111, After Haley breaks it off with Spencer, Brendon helps him get back on his feet. Time passes, and Spencer finds himself seeing Brendon in a different light. | A lot more angsty than you’d think?

- Interlinked by doctor_jalsey | T, 12784, A story about finding yourself in the most unusual way and new beginnings. Or conversely, a mildly steampunkish fic where Spencer doesn’t realize he’s dating Brendon. | Still weak for steampunk.

- Forever Together by eledhwenlin | E, 15232, Spencer was taken by the phouka when he was only eight years old. He has grown up in their world and considers himself part of their community. But when Brendon and Spencer fall in love, they face serious ramifications ... and the only solution is to brave the human world together on their own, if they don't want to give up their love. | Fantasy is my favorite genre, mostly taken out on real books.

- I Wish I Could Remember You by sunsetmog | T, 8411, Spencer wakes up in the hospital after a surfing accident, and can't remember the last three years of his life. The doctors tell him his amnesia is likely to only be temporary, but in the meantime, Spencer can't remember the house he shares with Brendon, their dog, or how long they've been dating. Because--they are dating, right? | Not much to say on this one.

- The Heart of Lonesome Sky by heartsdesire456 | E, 30609, When Brendon Urie arrives at Rusty Creek, a ranch town so small the saloon doesn't even have a name, all he knows is that the man he was sent to marry was named Spencer Smith. At first glance, Brendon can't understand why a man as handsome and well established as Spencer Smith would need a mail-order groom when he should have been able to get any eligible man or woman in Rusty Creek. Through awkwardness, acceptance, and eventually belonging, Brendon has a chance to eventually learn the heart of the man who brought him to Lonesome Sky ranch. | Historical AUs!

- Autocorrect Says I Longview You But I Say I Love You by Count_B and Shakespeares_Girl | T, 2027, When you're in love, you leave little notes everywhere, and you just can't stop texting each other, and eventually, those things pile up and tell a story all their own. (Story told in love notes and text messages, and a tweet or two.) | Really, really cute.

- Fear of Flying by mokuyoubi | E, 29356, Spencer Smith, part-owner and celebrated head chef of noted restaurant Panic! At The Disco, is talented, rich, and gorgeous. The rest of the staff can't even seem to remember that Brendon works there. “You’re really good at that,” Jon observed. “Good at what?” Brendon asked, swirling his spoon in his dish. The ice cream was a melted mess by now. “Finding excuses not to come to the party even when you’re invited, not letting Spencer get to know you even when he asks you a direct question about yourself,” Jon said casually. Brendon dropped his spoon and glared across the table. “What are you trying to say?” “I’m saying that you don’t want anyone getting any closer to you,” Jon said. “How long were you with your last boyfriend?” | Warning: may make you hungry. (Also, I’m pretty sure jackfruit doesn’t look like that - I’ve eaten it.)

- Cinderella AU series by mokuyoubi | E (whole series), 32169, A Brencer retelling (sort of) of Cinderella. | This should really be a brencer fic but my favorite part of this is Pete/Ashlee/Patrick and idk why.

- The View From Here by mokuyoubi | E, 13634, Spencer has an irrational fear of Ferris wheels. Brendon sees it as his duty as best friend to cure him of it. | Or: Jon and Ryan try to set Spencer and Brendon up!

- The Gay Mormons series by stele3 | T, 39104, No summary | Poly!Spencer is amazing, okay?

- A Storm Brewing by bad_peppermint | G, 25073, Ever since he started university, Spencer has been quite content studying his dragons and trying to talk to Brendon, the young man who works at Spencer's boarding house. Having the dragons fall mysteriously ill is the last thing he wants, but then again, it does mean more time spent with Brendon as they try to figure out what's wrong. | The full title is too long, okay?

- There’s a boy that I like by spendon | T, 3833, 'There's a boy that I like,' Brendon began typing, fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, tapping the keys delicately. |

- that one regret is you by thescrewtapedemos | E, 13969, There’s a witch living way out in the woods (that’s Spencer) and there’s someone running blindly through said woods (that’s Brendon) and that’s about where the similarity to a fairytale ends (there’s a cauldron but Spencer only uses it to make soup so Brendon’s pretty sure it doesn’t count) | Fantasy, again, is my favorite genre of rl novels. So, it’s pretty much a given that with this length + this AU, I would at least read it. But it’s actually great.

- Rule #3 (Wear Your Heart On Your Cheek) by Kandakicksass | E, 7768, "someone write me a brencer au where when you fall in love, a little heart shows up on your body, in totally random places, and Spencer falls in love for the first time with Brendon during like idk nothing rhymes with circus tour and the heart is like this cute thing that shows up on HIS FACE somewhere (like under his eye, on his cheek, or up high on his forehead) and he’s so embarrassed by it and it takes Brendon like two months and a lot of laughing from Ryan for him to figure out that Spencer is in love with him" I keep filling my own prompts. Enjoy. | The fact that the title came from a Marina song made me love this fic even more.

- And the world has its shine (but I would drop it on a dime for you) by AbsolutelyNothing and peachypunk | E, 165889, In Victorian-ish times, The Smith family has served the wealthy Urie family for generations. Being so close in age, Brendon and Spencer become best friends and, over time, the rich, Omega socialite, Brendon, starts to fall for his personal, Alpha servant, Spencer. | A/B/O is a concept I was first introduced to on AO3. Like, it’s all the werewolf AUs without the turning into a wolf part, and it’s developed into its own thing.

- *Need You Wild by fallintosilence and boweryd | E, 105K+, Spencer's a werewolf! A sexy werewolf! Okay, really, Spencer is a newly turned, slightly confused werewolf who can't figure out why Brendon smells so good all the time. Or why Spencer can't seem to stop acting like he is 16-years-old, what with all the blushing and stuttering around Brendon and the constant jerking off. Fear not, though, gentle reader, because it turns out Brendon is totally on board with having a werewolf boyfriend. And with having lots and lots of sex. | Werewolves are sort of cool. There’s a lot of p0rn in here, though.

Joncer

This pairing is used as a side for Ryan/Brendon and I really think it deserves its own time in the spotlight more often. It’s after brencer in popularity because it’s mostly shafted off as a side pairing and not the main one.

- Kick It Back by afterthefair | E, 6103, Spencer thinks the girls fall into a few distinct categories: the ones who either haven’t heard the news or don’t care, the ones who want to convert him, and the ones who shout “Kiss! Kiss!” every time he and Jon get within a foot of each other. | Coming out fic.

- Median by strangecobwebs | E, 23356, Jon first learned about the Kinsey scale when he was about seventeen. And if zero is completely heterosexual, and six is completely homosexual? Jon Walker is a three. So very much a three. |

- If It Kills Me by foxxcub | E, 16928, Spencer Smith knows there must be a catch when Jon Walker − his despised FBI partner − offers to transfer out of Chicago and far, far away from him. There's a catch, all right: Spencer has to spend one sexy night with the untamed playboy. Okay, so the guy's hot. So his reputation in the bedroom is the stuff of legend. So Spencer's been in a dry spell for, oh, over a year. So maybe one night to be rid of him isn't so unbearable. But once the sheets have cooled, Spencer's just starting to heat up, and moving away is the last thing on Jon's mind...FBI AU. Plot and summary stolen shamelessly from Erin McCarthy's novella Miss Extreme Congeniality. Title stolen from Jason Mraz. | This is another fic for the to-reread list.

- Let the Future Come into Each Moment by saramir | E, 27277, In which Spencer turns thirty, Jon is even more affectionate toward him than usual, and Ryan & Brendon are writing (and arguing about) a plant-themed album. Set on tour, 2017, after a failed album and failed relationships, all while the four of them have stuck together, and then some. | Future fics always hurt a little, because nobody could have predicted the split.

- Jon’s Bookstore (A Few of My Favorite Things) by foxxcub | M, 11235, A funeral is really the wrong place to learn you've inherited a business. |

- The Bootstrap Paradox and Other Tips for Finding True Love by mokuyoubi | E, 41829, In response to the harlequin_bands challenge: Swept from her dismal present in the 1990s (facing unemployment and the singles scene), Phoebe Turlow takes a wrong turn at a hotel (while attending a “free” vacation in the Caribbean, sponsored by a condo company) and winds up in the seventeenth century in the company of a sexy, witty pirate named Duncan Rourke. As if Rourke does not have enough to do fighting the British in the American Revolution, he has to determine whether short haired, strange speaking Phoebe is a spy, a witch, or worse. Instead, he falls in love with her. Okay, so Ryan was going to be Phoebe and Brendon Duncan, except then somehow Spencer and Jon took over the story, and so this really tells the story of Phoebe and Duncan’s best friends. Oh, also changed it to the eighteenth century, since I’m *pretty* sure that’s when the American Revolution actually took place…*shrug* | The 18th century is when the American Revolution really took place, because the century numbers versus actual year numbers are sort of misleading.

- Catnip by rockme | T, 7187, One day while smoking, Jon hears a distant meow. | No, but seriously, this fic is basically about weed actually turning people into cats.

- *Anywhere, Say Anywhere (As Long As I’m with You) by hidingoutside | E, Unknown, As the head of guest services at Oakhart Ranch, Jon Walker's supposed to make sure everything's running as smoothly as possible, even when Spencer Smith, former rodeo champion, comes rolling into town to help his former mother-in-law keep the ranch from going under. Jon's never heard anything good about Spencer, but Spencer's never anything but helpful and generally awesome to Jon and his infant daughter. Suddenly living on in the middle of nowhere Wyoming doesn't seem so bad... |

Rycer

I used to dislike this pairing. Not like, absolutely hate, but I had the tendency to avoid it.

- Mistletoe by amethyst__angel | T, 1191, Christmas is supposed to be a time for love, for friendship, for presents and accidentally walking under the mistletoe with your best-friend-since-forever... | I might be typing this on December 27th, but I started compiling this list before Christmas, so it’s fine.

- Further Down the Road by zarah5 | T, 7029, The sketch of a full moon is sitting next to yesterday’s date, and twenty-eight days, Spencer thinks. Twenty-eight days. He could be wrong, of course, but… He doesn’t know why it makes a twisted kind of sense mostly because it’s Ryan, but it does. | .

- Tearing Down the Toy City by roebling and rubblerousing | M, 52864, "What I'm trying to say, Spence, is that if you don't like the way things are going, that's fine, but if you're nostalgic for five years ago, you better give up. 2001 is not coming back. You and Ryan were never going to be fourteen forever. I think you need to figure out what you want." | There’s a mixed bag of fics in this tag, but the hurty ones are always the most well-written.

- Through All Kinds of Weather by Marks | E, 28994, Ryan gets sick and pushes himself too hard. Enter Spencer and his world of denial. | .

- His Executive Sweetheart (I’ll Put The Coffee On) by sunsetmog | M, 34252, As a bored but efficient executive assistant, Ryan Ross wasn't supposed to have fallen madly, hopelessly in love with his boss. Especially when his boss was business mogul and confirmed bachelor (and old childhood friend) Spencer Smith. His best friends were convinced that only one thing would get Spencer to notice him, and that was a makeover. But if he lets them have their way, then how is Ryan to ever really know for sure if Spencer likes Ryan for real? | .

Jon/Brendon

What...is the ship name for this? Also, I only have one rec for this pairing. I’m not a fan of this pairing, for some reason. I just...don’t quite understand it? Either way. One rec.

- (Panic! at the Disco Almost Changed Their Name to) Fuzzy Kitten Cuddle Time by dsudis | E, 14407, In which Jon Walker is sometimes a kitten. | Kittens.

Endnotes

Poly reclist coming up next. There are a lot of fics on that list.

(Edit 11/5/19: Fixed a broken link.)

#panic! at the disco #fanfiction #reclist #not tagging every pairing I mention. that's sort of ridiculous #bandom #colllstarr.rec

5 notes · View notes

taikoturtle · 7 years

Text

Trimberly Short Fic

Based on the prompt:

“I borrowed your pen and it’s been 2 weeks and I still haven’t returned it because every time I talk to you, I am reminded of the massive fucking crush I have on you which always ends up leaving me speechless” AU courtesy of daeguarchives

read it on AO3

She knows it’s been long overdue and at this point she practically owns the damn thing, but Trini can’t seem to bring herself to return the pink and silver ballpoint pen back to its rightful owner.

Twirling it skillfully in hand, the bland monotone voice of their history teacher - who Trini’s fairly certain is just a clone of Ben Stein - drones on in the background of her daydreams as images of Kimberly vividly flashes in her mind. Her sarcastic gibes, no holds barred attitude, and a smile so positively radiant that it can cure cancer (it’s a scientific fact) Kimberly is by all means everything that Trini didn’t even know she wanted in life.

And now she’s everything she needs.

Becoming Rangers together forged a bond that transcends mere friendship. Sure, there’s a deeper connection that comes with the powers, but it’s the experience that brought them together that makes everything carry such intense gravity.

And that’s why it caught Trini so off guard when she realized how much more Kimberly meant to her.

It was Zack who pointed it out one day when they were training together. He made some offhanded joke to her about how her Kimberly senses must be tingling, because Trini always knew exactly where the other girl was. She punched him in the shoulder, muttering how much of a dumbass he always is, but then it dawned on her.

Why did she always know where Kimberly was? Was it their bond going haywire? Was she always staring at her? Oh shit, was she being a lecherous creep?

Zack nudged her again and laughed, “Trini and Kimberly sitting in a tree–”

She pulled him into a headlock before suplexing him so hard that the other rangers halted their spars and gawked in stunned silence. Trini’s eyes made contact with Kimberly’s and Trini’s face suddenly felt hotter than the damn sun. Nobody paid it any mind, but from that day forward it was like a light bulb switched on and Trini couldn’t turn it off.

Having those kind of emotional epiphanies wreck her to the core because now she can’t stop thinking about it.

She’d pass by Kimberly in the hallways at school and suddenly she couldn’t speak. Words would die in her throat or she’d stumble clumsily across her sentences like a child in grade school. Her normally calm and collected demeanor would shatter in seconds from the mere presence of one Kimberly Hart.

“Ugh, this is so stupid!” Trini breaks out of her reverie and glares at the little pink pen.

That’s it, today is the day.

Today is the day she gives the cursed thing back to Kimberly.

She’s been trying the past two weeks (two damn weeks!) but every time she tried to hand the pen off, her brain would just shut down.

Not anymore.

“I’m the Yellow Fucking Ranger, I don’t fear anything,” Trini mutters to herself as she gathers her belongings and hastily shoves them into her beat up backpack. She’s taken on Putties, she’s taken on Goldar, she’s taken on Rita Repulsa. There’s not a single thing in this world that she can’t face and come out on top–

“Hey Trini, want to grab some food after school before we head down to the pit?”

Trini’s blood runs cold and it’s like her mind blacks out because the next thing she knows, she’s staring up into Kimberly’s deep, twinkling eyes and she can’t function.

Say something you idiot!

Her mind is screaming but her limbs refuse to respond appropriately, and for a good five seconds they’re both steeped in silence. Kimberly doesn’t seem to mind. Her gaze still focuses on Trini like it’s the most normal thing in the world, but she has no idea about the clamminess that’s overtaking the smaller girl’s hands or how her heartbeat sounds like stampeding wildebeests.

Trini doesn’t dare put words to the raging storm of emotions in her chest because then it makes it too real, makes it too scary. She’d never want to mess up the friendship she’s got going, so she figures hell, maybe there are some things in this world that she’s afraid of.

She can’t ever cross that line.

Her grip on the little pink pen tightens and she swallows thickly. “Yeah sure.”

Week three rolls around and the pen is now empty. Trini hadn’t even realized how much she used it day in and day out (though Zack noticed. Boy did he give her shit for that) but now she has nothing left to return. With no ink, it’s essentially useless, so there’s no point in returning it, right?

Trini spins the pen around on her desk like it’s in a game of spin the bottle and it ironically stops with the tip pointed at Kimberly. She chuckles darkly at the irony of it all, but with each passing day the ache in her chest grows stronger and there’s a good ninety percent chance that she’s going to implode from the pressure.

The fluttering feelings are getting harder to ignore, and the more she tries to dismiss them the further she keeps pushing Kimberly away.

But Kimberly keeps finding her. Everywhere.

On some days it’s like she’s suffocating, or at least what she imagines suffocating to feel like, and Trini has to escape to catch her breath. She hates feeling like a coward, but that’s all her body can do at this point. Words continue to fail her and she’s absolutely terrified that she might blurt out the worst.

So she runs.

But no matter where she hides - the library, the bathroom, a deserted hallway - Kimberly keeps popping up as if she has a Trini radar.

“Do you want to go early for some training?”

“Hey, let’s go shopping for some new workout clothes.”

“I’m hungry. Want to hit up the coffee shop for some donuts? I heard they have bacon glazed this week.”

They’re all harmless questions, but Trini knows that Kimberly’s testing the waters, that she’s searching for something deeper. There’s a layer of disquiet laced within her words, almost as if she knows what’s transpiring between them, but she never pushes beyond the surface and it scares her.

But then one day Kimberly corners her at her locker with no way out.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Her eyebrows are scrunched and she’s biting her lips. The question in itself is harmless enough, but the uneasy mixture of hurt and concern makes Trini feel instantly guilty.

“I’m not.”

“Trini, you’ve barely spoken more than a few words to me today.”

Trini stares blankly into her locker and puts on her most stoic face possible but it’s barely masking the war waging within and she’s sure that her poorly constructed facade will crumble in due time.

“Kimberly, I’m fine. Everything’s okay.” She’s gripping the pink pen again, clutching it like it’s a buoy keeping her barely afloat amidst the sea of her conflict, but she still can’t bring herself to face her.

“You know, I can smell bullshit a mile away.” Kimberly inches closer until the hairs on Trini’s arm stand on end. “Especially when it’s yours.”

“What does that even mean?” Trini retorts indignantly as she pivots around with a fiery glare.

Bad mistake.

She severely miscalculated their proximity and now Kimberly’s all but five inches away from her face making Trini’s mental facilities shut down.

The way Kimberly’s hair cascades down and frames her face (when did her bob grow so long?) as she’s looking down into her eyes renders Trini breathless. Even the ugly fluorescent school lights on the ceiling form a backlit glow behind her head as if she were an angel descending from above to bless her with her beauty and Trini almost laughs because how ridiculous is that notion?

But none of that matters because she can’t fucking speak.

“I…I uh…”

Smooth. Real smooth. There’s thousands of words bouncing around in her mind like molecules on crack but she can’t seem to grab any of them to string into a coherent sentence. Her mouth gapes open like a fish out of water and she’s only vaguely aware of the mild heart attack happening in her chest, but then Kimberly’s eyebrow perks up and she snatches the pink pen out of Trini’s hand.

“Hey, I’ve been looking for this! Did you have it this whole time?”

Nodding dumbly, Trini gulps audibly and disregards the mild panic seizing her body. “I–yeah. It’s out of ink.”

Kimberly’s expression falls flat. “This is why you were dodging me?”

“No!” Trini blurts out forcefully. “Of course not! I just–”

She abruptly truncates her sentence. She reminds herself that she can’t cross that line. Not now, not ever. She can’t risk the possible fallout, the potential damage it can do to their team’s synergy, to their–

Kimberly grabs her arm and Trini barely has time to slam her locker shut before she’s being ushered away with gentle urgency.

“What’re you doing?”

Her demanding inquiry falls on deaf ears as the class bell rings and Trini knows she’s going to be late to class now. The hallways start to empty as Kimberly pulls the smaller girl into the bathroom.

“Kimberly, what’s going on–”

Her lips come crashing down on Trini’s with such force that the two of them stumble backwards into the wall and Trini’s only mildly aware of the dull throb at the back of her head because she’s far too focused on the softest pair of lips enveloping her own.

Kimberly’s pressing into her body and her hands pull Trini’s hips closer so that there’s no space between them and now Trini is breathless but for a very different reason.

A tiny whimper escapes her throat and she knows Kimberly won’t let hear the end of it because Angel Grove’s resident badass Trini whimpering? Never in a million years. But she doesn’t give a damn because her senses are firing on overload and she can’t get enough of it.

The way Kimberly’s hands rake up and down her back and waist, the way her heavy breathing and flushed cheeks screams how much she wants this too - every move Kimberly makes drives Trini closer to the edge of insanity and she doesn’t want it to end. She wants to exist in a vacuum where she can feel the pressure of Kimberly’s body on her’s and the inferno raging around them, but she knows it can’t last forever so she’s only faintly disappointed when Kimberly pulls back and pauses.

She rests her forehead against Trini’s, both of them chests heaving and with ragged breath, and Kimberly breaks into a tiny laugh ringing with pure happiness.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that.”

Trini looks up at her curiously, her brow furrowed. “You knew this whole time?”

Grinning sheepishly, Kimberly shakes her head. “Zack may have hinted at it.”

“Ugh, I’m going to kick his ass!” Trini growls, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

Kimberly presses a light kiss on Trini’s nose and her lips tug into a little smirk. “Don’t be too hard on him. He only mentioned it because, and I quote, ‘Trini is as assertive as a dead skunk when it comes to relationships.’”

“What the hell, Zack! That doesn’t even make sense!”

Trini groans as if it weren’t true, but Kimberly can’t wipe the soft smile off her face as she hugs the smaller girl closer. “You couldn’t even return my pen.”

“That’s not even remotely close to being the same thing and you know it,” Trini huffs in response. “Besides, I can be assertive.”

“Oh yeah?” Kimberly retorts, an edge of challenge in her voice. “Then why don’t you show me.”

#daeguarchives #trimberly #trini x kimberly #power rangers #power rangers 2017 #power rangers movie #kimberly hart #trini #myfanfic #trimberly fanfic #pink lemonade

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

Text

Ten Things I Learned from the Watchmen Movie

by Dan H

Thursday, 12 March 2009Dan resists the urge to use a variant of “Who Watches the Watchmen” for his title.~

This was going to be a longer article, but I actually don't want to devote any more time to this ass-boring piece of shit.

Here's ten things I learned from watching the Watchmen (damn, I actually can't avoid using that sentence) movie.

1. I never want to see another Zack Snyder movie again. Seriously.

2. The seats in the Odeon are actually not fit for purpose.

3. When you decide not to see a movie because

one of the screenwriters is a smug twat

you should just not see it.

4. When adapting a comic book to the screen you should change the fucking dialogue. Things that look good written down just sound fucking stupid when somebody is trying to say them.

5. TV shows advertise in cinemas, how weird is that?

6. When you are adapting a comic book to the screen you should let the actors fucking move. Movies dudes – the clue is in the name.

7. When you are adapting a comic book to the screen you do not have to leave space in the shot for the speech bubbles.

9. Alan Moore dates really, really badly.

10. The plot of Watchmen doesn't actually make sense.

That's it. That's all the time and energy I can bring myself to expend on this.Themes:

TV & Movies

Watchmen

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

go to latest

)

Arthur B

at 09:54 on 2009-03-12On 2: Yes, definitely, they're terrible. There's no leg room, which I suppose is a vice which cinemas will always indulge in, but the lack of fucking

cup holders

is baffling. Do they

enjoy

cleaning up spillages?

Watchmen

I still think

From Hell

is the only Moore book which has a claim to timelessness. Maybe it's the fact that it's ruminating on crimes that were a century old when the book was written in the first place.

Watchmen

is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

This does not change the fact that people are crying hot buttery tears about the squid not being in the film.

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Wardog

at 10:11 on 2009-03-12Watchmen is a love letter to the superhero genre as well as a critique of it; the meat is in the character studies.

Really? I thought it was about comics?

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Arthur B

at 10:31 on 2009-03-12

Really? I thought it was about comics?

I am mildly confused as to what you mean here but I'll try to answer it.

When

Watchmen

was written the superhero genre consisted of a) comics and b) adaptations from the comics. You didn't have (to my knowledge) anything like

The Incredibles

Soon I Will Be Invincible

Wild Cards

, where you have original sources for superhero stories which aren't comics.

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Rami

at 10:36 on 2009-03-12What's faintly depressing is that lots of the vaguely interesting and meta things coming out of Watchmen have already been done on film (

even in CG

), and people are still going on about how Revolutionary it is.

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Arthur B

at 10:45 on 2009-03-12

The Incredibles

can't be revolutionary because nobody has their arms cut off with a circular saw.

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Rami

at 10:46 on 2009-03-12Oh yes that's right, it's too family-friendly to be Gritty and Edgy and Totally Making You Look Differently At Life...

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Dan H

at 11:28 on 2009-03-12

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Arthur B

at 11:39 on 2009-03-12There's a man saying "What do you think I am? Some sort of supervillain?" as he wears a costume straight out of

Flash Gordon

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Dan H

at 11:50 on 2009-03-12I think it's intentionally *bathetic*.

The second point is that Ozymandias' plan actually *works*. He genuinely does bring about world peace, and prevent the annihilation of humanity.

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Arthur B

But at the same time, I think in terms of the actual importance of

Watchmen

read the comic for - I reread it because of the character studies.

Put it this way: to my mind, you could swap out the entire armageddon story for some other MacGuffin, and

Watchmen

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Arthur B

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http://fintinobrien.livejournal.com/

at 04:53 on 2009-03-13Point 3: Oh my god, Solid Snake is angry at me!

I like that Hayter talks about the "Snake fans" in the same sentence where he praises "smart" stories. Heehee, Metal Gear Solid is smart now. I must have missed the memo.

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Dan H

at 13:18 on 2009-03-13He's actually talking about Solid Snake from the metal gear series?

To be honest, I couldn't say who *else* he'd be talking about (unless it's the dude from the Simpsons).

To be honest, it was the reference to Rorshach fans that lost me - isn't the whole point of Rorshach that he actually *isn't* cool?

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Arthur B

at 13:23 on 2009-03-13David Hayter is the

English voice for Solid Snake.

Oh look, he's really excited by the idea of making a

Metal Gear Solid

movie! And he wants it made in CGI so he can voice Snake! Suddenly the motives behind his letter become clear...

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Wardog

at 14:52 on 2009-03-13Just when you thought things couldn't get any *worse.*

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Gina Dhawa

at 17:24 on 2009-03-13@10 - I love the thing to bitty pieces and the first time I got to the ending I said "....

wha?

Watchmen

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Arthur B

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http://fintinobrien.livejournal.com/

at 04:00 on 2009-03-14

To be honest, it was the reference to Rorshach fans that lost me - isn't the whole point of Rorshach that he actually *isn't* cool?

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Wardog

at 10:51 on 2009-03-14God yes - you're absolutely right.

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Arthur B

300

; I don't know whether that worry came from reading Hayter's script, but I certainly don't think it would have been alleviated by it.

Still, the actor who plays Rorschach in the film does a good job of coming across as a psychopath, so at least

understands.

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Arthur B

at 11:14 on 2009-03-18So, David Hayter wanted everyone to go see

Watchmen

on the second weekend to make sure the film's earnings didn't collapse.

Well, an

approximately 70% drop

not really what he was hoping for

. Snake won't be pleased.

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Dan H

at 15:17 on 2009-03-18♪♪ It's ... Schaaaa-denfreude. Making the world a better place to beee.... ♪♪

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Arthur B

at 11:11 on 2009-03-25More schadenfreude:

Watchmen

performed

absolutely miserably

in its third weekend, and there's a growing consensus that, whatever its merits, it's a financial dud.

Of course, this means that Zack Snyder won't be able to find work in Hollywood ever ag

WAIT WHAT THE-

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Arthur B

at 16:13 on 2009-04-27Another dose of schadenfreude:

Watchmen

performance in the box office

seems to have been mildly worse than

Batman and Robin

's.

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http://orionsnebula.blogspot.com/

I'm not defending it, I think the soundtrack mostly backfires horribly and comes across and cutesy fourth-wall breaking, but that's my guess as to the intending effect.

#Ferretbrain #Watchmen #Alan Moore #Dan H #Comics

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