#the way shauna says yes she knows and then she. does what she does to adam and jackie. 🤔 what's it mean | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cdyssey · 1 year

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It's that tiny, baby goat named Bruce being brown and furry, like the pelt Shauna Shipman wrapped her dead baby in.

It's the fact that it's a boy goat too.

It's her immediate and irrational fear—upon even hearing the word sacrifice—that she's going to have to kill the kid. The goat. The baby. This precious, innocent life in her care. Because everything she loves gets taken away from her, doesn't it?

All her fault.

Every last bit of it.

She can't have anything that she doesn't eventually hurt.

(And yes, it's about Jackie. It's always about Jackie, even when she swears that it's not. Jackie, her first victim. Jackie, her first love.)

(She's wearing her shirt in this episode. She's wearing her life in this whole damn series.)

It's her sitting alone in the woods, disassociating, triggered by a goddamn goat, and it's her utter panic when she realizes that he's missing.

It's Misty telling her, “Well, you’re not that innocent either.”

And it's her so bitterly replying, “Do you think I don’t know that?” as she frantically searches for Bruce, yet another living creature that she thinks she’s failed.

It's the tenderness with which she holds him when she finds him again, mothering him so gently. She tells him—this goat—that he's delusional and dumb if he thinks she's gonna hold him all day, but then she fucking does it! She holds him! She cradles him to her chest like a baby, and it's so lovely.

But it's so, so sad too.

Because it's her pleading with the barn worker to make sure that the goat is okay; she doesn't trust her ability to take care of him; she'll fucking lose it if he gets hurt in her care.

And it's this guy robotically replying, "The kid’s care is entwined with your own." And it’s the way that Shauna's pupils immediately blow, and we intimately understand—well before she tells Lottie—that she's thinking about that baby in the woods.

And she's thinking about Callie.

And she's thinking that if this much is true—if her ability to care for herself is the metric by which she can care for a kid—then, of course, her children are so totally fucked.

With her as a mother, they were doomed from the very start.

(Relatedly, it’s Melanie Lynskey saying in an interview: “I don’t think Shauna’s really disappointed in people. I think she’s disappointed in herself. She takes things out on herself, and she just feels kind of fundamentally unlovable.”)

It’s her confrontation with Lottie, which is charged with their fraught and bloody past, by Lottie's obsession with the wilderness baby, by the dream where the baby is cannibalized, by Lottie's willingness to become both Shauna's punching bag and martyr.

It's the tears that run down her face as she says, as she confesses:

"I’m not crying about the goat. I don’t really know, um, what’s happening right now. Um, I think it’s just that I’ve always kept my daughter, you know, Callie, like, at arm’s length. I think just out of fear that she would… die, I guess. Or maybe that she was never even real to begin with. I don’t know. I try to tell myself it’s okay. That I’m safe to… to think of her as-as mine, you know, and to just be her mom. But I think something is broken, Lottie. I just can’t do it.

God, it’s how every line of this monologue is so fucking broken and raw. She told that bastard cop that she's just not very good at loving her daughter, and here is both the reason why and the brutal extent. In the woods, her baby died, but for just a brief moment, in the tantalizing spaces of that dream turned hellish nightmare, he lived. But then he died again; he was consumed; or was he?

No.

Abso-fucking-lutely-yes, but not in the way that Shauna could have ever conceived.

Because this is the idea that she can't think of Callie as her own when that first baby was never hers either.

Not really.

Our baby, Lottie had called him. He was their communal savior, their shining hope, their personal Jesus who didn’t live.

And Shauna's singular moment alone with him had been a cruel fantasy too.

It's her murderous rage at his death, the violence that such grief engenders in her, which in and of itself is an echo of Misty's Steel Magnolias monologue—the way she wants to hit someone until they feel as bad as they do.

It’s how she can't allow herself to love Callie completely because of her fundamental incapacity to discern reality from the nightmare. In the cabin, she accuses them all of killing her baby. Every goddamn day she fears that her daughter will die, if she even exists at all.

It's the panic in her eyes when she clutches the phone and asks Jeff if Callie is okay all the same.

Because that's her first instinct, her immediate assumption.

That something with her daughter is horribly wrong.

And that's the crux in the end, the horrible conclusion to all these frayed and tangled threads.

Something going wrong is the only reality that Shauna Shipman can ever reliably count upon. The entirety of her life is an open, gushing wound.

#shauna shipman #callie sadecki #s: yellowjackets #Yellowjackets #Yellowjackets spoilers #I am genuinely gutted by this entire episode #cannibalism tw #baby death tw #maggie blogs

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tabithatwo · 1 year

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okay, it has been a HOT fucking second, but it's time for the rest of my jackie taylor is a lesbian and she knows it (or she at LEAST knows she likes women) thoughts for the pilot (this is a continuation, if you feel like this is abrupt click the link <3)

jackie trying to set shauna up with randy LISTEN she does it in SUCH a lesbian-minded way...like ah yes, a boy that can be an accessory and what if you dated randy and you wouldn't like him (i KNOW you wouldn't like him) and i kept dating jeff (i don't like him and don't you KNOW that i don't like him?) and then we could always insist on double dates and every time i have to go out with jeff, i'd actually be going out with you <3 <3

jackie is not even looking much at shauna's outfits when shauna turns to her for feedback and y'know why??? the existence of BOOB DRESS!!! the sheer lesbianism of that line continues to amaze me. shauna! just wear the dress i got you that makes your boobs look sooooo good pleasssse?? LIKE HELLO??

shauna gets frustrated which jackie clearly didn't expect, so what's she gonna do?? immediately make a joke <3 back off <3 try and make her smile <3 (sidebar idk how people read this scene as intensely mean and controlling jackie like i beg you to watch again, they're teenagers being teenagers, jackie unintentionally upsets shauna and shauna gets frustrated and jackie smooths it over and shauna chills out like that's the scene baby)

jackie being sooo happy that shauna is joking again (this is one of those times we see the smile/laugh that only shauna really gets out of her)

she's got her arm around jeff but her eyes on shauna for much of this scene and we get a completely different jackie here with jeff than we saw in the opening because she is PERFORMING! like this is the man she makes herself tolerate serving his purpose for real, such a young lesbian experience

okay that is ENOUGH of that man (truly three seconds with her arm around him, where her eyes were still on shauna not him), jackie hands jeff her drink and immediately reaches for shauna when she wants to dance

okay more performance yes, like she's clearly putting on a show here but also?? it is SOOOO obvious that little miss broody shauna is watching right now and jackie actually looks directly at her for good fucking measure, like she is very aware of shauna watching her and shauna's attention being on her. she does this AGAIN when she's desperate for shauna's love/attention/affection in doomcoming when she walks away with travis (to FUCK HIM IN SHAUNA'S BED)

the compliments scene? so fucking flirty, so fucking gay, so clear that this is their usual dynamic. like the level of baby dyke flirty love in the i dunno...you haven't said anything nice about me yet and all the little smiles and the ritual of it the you're my best friend as a stand in for i love you like we really don't get a ton of them precrash but the pilot establishes SO MUCH of their relationship prior to all the trauma so beautifully ughhh

jackie wanting to be dropped off first GOD THIS SCENE, it is so often taken as her being selfish for selfishness sake (or out of fear of her parents) but she also does NOT want to be left alone in the car with jeff!! we saw her discomfort with being sexual with him right away in the pilot, it was immediately established, he ignored every sign that she did NOT want him to be touching her. i don't know about you but this was a dance i did allll the time at that age!! the plotting to not be alone with the boyfriend!!

also her performative happiness with jeff EVAPORATES, like that is for public straightness perception, she does the minimum saying bye to that man and then she hugs shauna like its her goddamn job

jackie taylor queen of gay-zing tbh

y'know when your parents are terrifying but your girl got really anxious last time you flew somewhere so you steal your insane mother's valium for her??

but that's not enough so you have to GIVE HER THE HEART NECKLACE THAT YOU WEAR EVERY DAY AND SAY THERE NOTHING CAN TOUCH YOU NOW (because you have my heart, you have my love, jackie taylor ALSO queen of discomfort with saying i love you verbatim but saying it in a million other ways, this is a thought for another day but!! a heart!! that she wears!! next to her heart!! for the girl who has her heart!!)

of course she's also got to watch shauna put it on (gay-zingly) and did i need to include 10 screenshots of this moment to make my point?? MAYBE NOT but YOU'RE WELCOME cause LOOK AT THEM!!

more to come eventually <3 <3 this one was largely fun sweet precious honestly compared to the last and the ones to come, so yeah i really went wild with the photos <3 <3

#my lesbian thoughts on lesbian jackie #jackie taylor #shauna shipman #jackie x shauna #shauna x jackie #jackieshauna #shaunajackie #yellowjackets #yellowjackets pilot #yellowjackets 1x01

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happysparklingshadows · 9 months

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𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚗𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚖𝚎𝚗 + 𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝 (’96)

Warnings: Gore, Smut, homoerotic teenage friendship, and mature themes.

Notes: She is so babygirl it makes me hurt 🥺 @zhivaxo

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Shauna is someone who is entirely an act of service person. She will do anything for someone she loves, do your homework, drive you anywhere, and always be there to do things you don’t want to do. Shauna likes to work hard for you, so you never have to lift another finger in your life again. Shauna isn’t good with her words, but how she touches you screams all her thoughts to you. She is very intense sexually by holding/grabbing you with a firm grip or kissing you like she is devouring you whole.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get regarding their darling?

Very. Blood isn’t much of a question for Shauna or you. Shauna is very skilled at masking her darkness and hiding the darker desires she wishes to tell you. You see the grimaces when she draws a knife to the neck of one of the girls during a hunting accident. Shauna, slowly losing her mind from starvation and cabin fever, will start whispering to you what she wants to do sometimes.

“Shauna? Are you still up?” You whisper to her softly, her arms still wrapped around your waist protectively.

“Yes. What?”

“Baby, I-I,” you whisper as you stare into the darkness of the attic. You felt a shiver go down your spine from the wind and the way Shauna’s fingers grip your flesh. Forming small sore spots in your soft skin. “I am still messed up that we ate-“

“Bunny, please stop talking.” Shauna sighs softly, her nose nudges the back of your ear, and her breath hits your hair. “It was us three, you know. It was always me, you, and Jackie. But Jackie died. And Jackie feeds us. We might survive. You are fed, and that is all I can think about right now, okay.”

“Okay, sorry. Hold me.” You say and cuddle into her, deciding not to think about it like her.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Shauna would not kidnap her partner, and it would be more of an installed Stockholm Syndrome from the years out in the wilderness. Shauna is the butcher. Shauna is why you were FED and would have died without her. You could not leave her from the guilt of her being your protector when you came back to civilization. I think the only way Shauna Shipmen would realistically kidnap someone would be if she married them and kept them in the house with her. But honestly, I think this would just be a toxic situation that y’all go to couples therapy. It would solve over time because Shauna does have a heart and knows deep down knows that she is fucked up in a lot of ways, so she is somewhat chill even though she still would like it if you were in the house. Shauna would honestly treat you like she treats Jeff, but with less secrecy about the woods, it looks more like you two don’t talk about it instead of trying to hide what happened. Shauna does love you and doesn’t like to upset you, but because y’all are not new to each other, she is like, “You’ll get over it.”.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

I fully believe that Shauna would force-feed you meat. You were heartbroken to eat your friend and couldn’t do it; you would rather starve. Shauna would not take that, and neither does the Yellowjackets. Shauna would push the food in your mouth and then put her strong veiny hand over your mouth. She would stare you down as you chew the food she served; she wouldn’t let go of your face until you were fed enough. Shauna lost Jackie, and she will not lose her other best friend (that being you <3).

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

I would say Shauna is guarded and the more quiet partner. She likes being a support for a more outgoing personality, and she likes to protect that person with everything she has. Shauna will side with opinions she disagrees with, fight anyone you ask, and just be the best support in your life. However, Vulnerability is something Shauna doesn’t like, and she doesn’t like exposing those parts of herself. She is the type to cry in private because she doesn’t want to be seen crying. So Shauna doesn’t expose her inner thoughts and feelings, it feels unnatural for Shauna in some ways, and she gets cagey when pushed too far.

However, there are points where she is forced to be vulnerable because of the crash and Jackie’s death, affecting both for how close you both were to Jackie. Shauna doesn’t cry; when she does, it is like an explosion, just like her rage and fear; it just boils out of her. She is very passionate and emotional when she is exposed in that way. You always make sure to be extra gentle to her by holding and crying.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Shauna would fight harder. Shauna is a fighter through and through, and if she thinks you are leaving her, that is her only line of defense. She started little fights, maybe even big ones, and then she would pull you in with her big brown eyes again. She doesn’t like how it feels when you pull away or disagree; you two were bff girlfriend soulmates that are supposed to agree on everything 🙄

“STOP FIGHTING ME!” Shauna yells at you as she grips your wrists. She holds the butcher's knife in her other hand, trying to teach you how to cut up a body correctly.

“Shauna, stop it-”

“No, you need to learn this! You need to do a job here that isn’t picking berries; people will start to notice.”

“Shauna, It’s Annie. I can’t do this-”

“You have to be fed. We all need to be fed. Shut up, and do this.” Shauna hisses at you and pulls you in, forcing you to follow her hands as she slices into the flesh of your friend.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Shauna doesn’t play a game with you, but she does toy with you a lot. She likes to see how your eyes widen when the tip of her knife is on your throat; she likes to bite your flesh harder than needed so that you bruise a deep purple and green, and she likes to remind you who is in power in your relationship. In some moments in the wilderness, Shauna does become aggressive, and sometimes she comes to become that way from someone coming too close to her, making her jealous.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The worst experience with Shauna would be her not communicating her feelings of monogamy and blurring the lines between jealous play and boarding on cheating. Shauna kind of likes the feeling of other people lusting after you, she knows it makes you feel sexy, and it makes her want to claim you over and over and over again. But I feel like this type of playing in a relationship will end up with a few situations of actual jealousy and redefining the lines in the sand for you two to be fun. I feel like Shauna might go too far and kiss someone else infront of you as you two are partying, you might be dancing with someone dirtily, and she would play off of it and kiss a girl close to her. It would be a toxic moment, a Toxic cycle of overwhelming feelings.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Shauna sees you two living in Rhode Island while she goes to Brown and you two living out the late ‘90s lesbian dream in a city (mainly because y’all are from a small town and thinking moving to the city will fix the homophobia). Shauna wants to get roots with you and see what happens with your future. She sees a future with you and doesn't think she won't be with you in the upcoming years, but she doesn't necessarily plan on anything specific, like proposing or starting a family. She is mainly focused on you and her future and setting that up. She's just trying to get through the wilderness, though.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Shauna wants you to have your own life and doesn’t mind you talking or being friends with other people. She even encourages times when you have girl nights with your friends without her (Not her friends) and lets you do your thing most of the time. She gets jealous when people flirt with you, with or without you knowing, but most importantly, if the spotlight in your life moves away from her. Shauna will end it if it’s another girl, friends, school, work, family. She doesn’t give a fuck.

So when Shauna Shipmen is jealous, it's a beast. She doesn’t cope. Shauna's motherfucking Shipmen lashes out by punching whoever threatens her relationship, she will start fights, and she will fucking pull hair and earrings out if it came down to it. Shauna will make it your problem, and she will punish you in many different ways for this. Shauna will say cruel words to whoever is taking your attention, and sometimes you are collateral damage that pushes you further away.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

BFF girlfriend soulmates. Shauna and Jackie, there was a power imbalance, with Jackie being the more dominant one of the two, but with you, Shauna is dominant. She subtly controls you in the gaze of being a friend and correcting you to make others like you more. But she just wants to have that power over you. However, Shauna doesn’t rub it into your face because it just strokes her ego, and you seem to enjoy it when she tells you how to do things like skinning deer or dancing.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

You, Jackie, and Shauna have been friends since pre-k. You and Shauna follow Jackie around and hype her up every chance, forming a closeness that you and Shauna never had with Jackie. As you enter middle school, you and Shauna devise a perfect idea because Jackie started dating Jeff and talking about how good it feels to kiss someone. You two decided that you should practice kissing before you started dating boys, and you two did it every time you had a sleepover. Over time, things started no longer about “Practicing”; instead, it was just excitement from lusting after each other. Kisses became makes outs, make-outs became heavy petting under the covers, and then they became something more.

Shauna’s plush lips gently peck at the side of your cheek as you rest on Jackie’s bedroom floor. Jackie always sent you two on the floor at her sleepovers. It used to be annoying, but now that you and Shauna have used your space away from Jackie.

Shauna’s hand runs down your side, her finger pressing onto the soft edges of your waist, adoring your body's curves. She pulls her face away from your cheek to look down into your eyes. Her soft, puppy brown eyes look down at you with heat and passion.

She whispers as another hand delicately touches your throat to keep you looking into her eyes. “I don’t want ‘this’ to be practiced anymore.”

Her other hand slides under your pajama bottoms and underwear, grazing your clit with her long finger. Your breath hitches in your throat as you panic to stay quiet, as jackies soft snores can be heard from across the room.

“I don’t either.” You whimper.

Shauna smirks as she drives in to kiss you in a devouring kiss, her fingers easing into you with two of her wide and long fingers. Your legs open and wrap around her waist. You struggle not to moan into her lips as she keeps kissing you with force.

“You’re mine. I would never let you date some guy.” Shauna hotly whispers to you as she comes to kiss your neck. Leaving little love bites on your jaw, you muffle an ecstasy groan in your palm.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from how they act around everyone else?

No, because she is brutally honest about herself and her feelings in her guarded way. IF Shauna doesn’t want to do something, she will, you know, and not do it. She doesn’t fake anything for anyone. She just acts herself because she was blessed with the confidence to be Shauna simply. And Shauna doesn’t mask her ways or how she acts because she is not changing that.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

When Shauna is unhappy with you or punishing you for something in the relationship, you will know because she will make it your problem. She is an immature 18-year-old and will give you the silent treatment, but it would be more like she would ice you out and ignore your whole presence. Shauna would move her sleeping bag away a few feet, just enough for you to notice she moved away from you but not enough for you to say anything without sounding crazy. Shauna is not above spanking or tying you up somewhere to make a point if you have been naughty, even before the crash and in the wilderness.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not at all oppressive. Shauna wants you to be your person, and she likes that about you; she doesn’t want to be a dictator over your life. Shauna likes to have her own space, and a very healthy part of your relationship is that there is space to be your person, unlike the relationship with Jackie.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Shauna is 50/50 and is okay one day and not the other. Shauna’s patience runs thin most of the time, but she tries her hardest not to be a bitch about it. She gives space as much as she can but is very proactive, so she has a tough time with it.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

No. Shauna would make you Jackie 2.0 and eat you to make you a part of her. You can’t ever die if you are inside her, where you're supposed to be.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Shauna would never feel guilty for keeping you with her through manipulation and pressure. She simply does not give a fuck because she is getting what she wants, and she doesn’t do anything to you that she thinks is wrong. She treats you like the only person that fucking matters, but that doesn’t mean she is perfect and wouldn’t use that info against you in a fight.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Jackie’s death.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Shauna won’t stand it and would do anything to stop it. She would break fucking door if she had to. She would force-feed you if she had to. She would fucking kill anyone she had to. She would do anything for you because you are the only reason she is going. However, Comforting isn’t Shauna’s forte; she doesn’t always succeed when she tries to comfort you when you cry. She just holds you, gets quiet, and hopes that whatever power there is is enough. That she is enough.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic Yandere?

Shauna is very much POLY and/or OPEN! I think she doesn’t might other people having you in some way, but she doesn’t want that spotlight taken away. She wants to be your world but wants you to have your own. She is still only a teenager, so she just goes with the traditional monogamy thing but sometimes talks about how ridiculous some people are about relationship rules.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Sex and companionship. However, you better never come back because trust is broken, and Shauna would not be good to you at all and would become a fucking monster, yandere. Like kill everyone and lock them in the attic if you try to do shit again and exploit the vulnerable.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

No, intentionally at all. Shauna gets a little rough with her words, hands, and rope. She doesn’t mean it, but she leaves marks on you.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Do anything for them. Shauna would revere you and would make you her whole world. You stain everything for her, and she wants the same. Like a red marker on a notebook bleeding through every page, it is marked by you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Shauna would never snap if you two were friends that turned into lovers. She would be silent and wouldn’t think about her actions if there were a moment she would snap. And in all honesty, there is no telling what she is capable of doing.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yes, over the years, with the SS and homoerotic friendship turned intense first relationship. But Shauna wouldn’t break your brain because she loves how you are wholeheartedly. She just kind of trains you with Pavlov's dog trick and love. She wants you to be you still; she just wants to own you.

Yandere Level

3/10 (She is intense and overbearing, but she isn’t scary or threatening with expressing the more intense things.)

Freedom Level

10/10 (Girl, you are free, and you are your own person, YAY!)

Lottie ✿ Taissa ✿

#Yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #shauna shipmen #Shauna shipmen x reader #dark!shauna shipmen #dark!shauna shipmen x reader #yandere! yellowjackets #Dark! Yellowjackets #lesbian #shauna shipmen smut #Shauna shipmen angst

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shaunamilfman · 5 months

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I have some thoughts of Jealous JackieShauna w reader,

Before Dating

- After you’ve hung out with a potential s/o or just a friend that she’s jealous of Jackie will always confront you like a cheating spouse, like getting into petty non arguments “Where were you? Why were you w her you know I don’t like her. No I just want to spend time with you, you’re one of my best friends and they’re stealing you from me.”

- If you even MENTION the person, Shauna gives you the silent treatment, she is secretly SEETHING and you keep trying to engage in conversation but she just gives you nothing or walks away and you’re left wondering what you did to upset her.

- Jackie is absolutely guilty of calling you and faking that there’s an emergency she needs your help with to get you to cancel a date with this person. Which of course you fall for every time.

- Shauna 100% gives this person the dirtiest looks, if looks could kill this poor random would be dead and buried on sight.

After You Start Dating:

- Jackie is not afraid to act first and ask questions later but she will mask it with politeness, if she sees someone getting too close to you during a party or just anything she doesn’t particularly like, she’ll walk right over, throw her arms around you, plant a huge kiss on your lips, then turn to the other person “Oh my god babe, who’s this? Who? Oh I don’t think I’ve ever heard of you before, hmm.” Then she just stands there with you until the other person gets too uncomfortable and leaves. She will be clingy the entire rest of the night.

- Same situation with Shauna and she does not give a shit, She will unabashedly grab your arm, tug you away from the person and move your hand to her waist as you walk away to hit it home. She’ll tell you that you’re leaving though so she can make sure that people will know you’re taken.

-Jackie is the type of gf that if you unknowingly upset her and then drive her home she keeps her knees as far away from your side of the car as possible, do you know what I mean? Like turning her body away from you as much as she can. She’ll be pouty, arms crossed and will not look at you at all.

- Shauna will make a move on you in the car, climbing into your lap and in a way silently seeking validation that you still want her. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you or anything, she just has a couple insecurities and she likes having you show her she’s the one you want/hearing you say it.

- Jackie will no doubt have to try to convince Shauna not to slap the random person talking to you. If you get in trouble with both of them in the same night, you’re basically escorted through the rest of the party by both of them at your side.

these may not be great cause it’s pushing 3 am for me but have at it! Hope you had a great weekend milfman, drink water today and take care of yourself cause you deserve it :)

yes!! let's go! more soffsh headcanons boyssssss.

you come home and jackie's sitting in your room on your bed with her legs crossed and her arms in her lap like "do you have any idea what time it is, Y/N?" she enlisted shauna but Shauna's fast asleep on the bed behind her

Jackie watches your social media following like a hawk. she goes on a day long spiral whenever someone hot follows you

love love love ridiculously possessive shauna. her and her "you know other women??" ass has me captivated completely lmao

Jackie would fake an emergency omg her dramatic ass

you try to talk to the other girl at school after your date and she just squeaks in fear and runs away from you. Jackie comforting you over it while shauna stands guard protectively in front of you so no one sees you upset??

Jackie sees you talking to another woman and just immediately throws herself in your lap. talking bout "omg your so strong y/n do you work out??" as she's feeling up your arms and shit. you were talking to your cousin lmaoooo. Jackie can never be too careful though

shauna just silently showing up, kissing you in front of them, and dragging you back to her and Jackie??

Jackie still hangs out with you when she's upset because she wants you to know she's ignoring you on purpose and is expecting you to grovel for her forgiveness/attention

shauna dragging you in the backseat to possessively climb in your lap while Jackie climbs in the car on your other side to watch yall. going feral over the idea of Jackie just watching shauna ride you in the backseat and whispering jealous little comments about that girl in your ear.

ugh jackieshauna escorting me through the party like a misbehaving child when?? im so convinced that half of dating Shauna is convincing her not to go to jail over something miniscule.

thanks anon! hope you had a good weekend too ❤️

#soffsh #shauna thoughts 💙#jackie thoughts 🩷#jackieshauna thoughts 🩷💙#yellowjackets x reader #shauna shipman x reader #jackie taylor x reader

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sendme-2hell · 1 year

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The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore - Kim Fu

Summary: A group of young girls at sleepaway camp get stranded in the woods by themselves in Canada (sound familiar?). The narrative alternates between what happened in the woods, and a vignette from each girl in their adult life.

Yellowjackets connection: This book is so spiritually similar to Yellowjackets it’s wild. The way that we see what happened in the woods and flash forward to the adults and how it affected them. The way that it's partially about the viciousness that comes out when girls are left alone. The way that hierarchies break down in the woods. I find myself thinking about this book while watching Yellowjackets.

Is it queer?: only a very little with one character in her adult life

My Brilliant Friend - Elena Ferrante

Summary: Elena and Lila are two intelligent girls growing up in poverty in 1950’s Naples. They have an obsessive and competitive relationship. Elena is able to get an education when Lila is not, and their paths diverge here. The entire four-part book series follows their relationship and distinct lives into late adulthood.

Yellowjackets Connection: My Brilliant Friend is about a lot more than just female friendship, class differences foremost. But obsessive homoerotic female friendships and their complications are front and center. The Neapolitan series follows Elena and Lila as they grow into adults and have their own children, so it shows young women and the adults they grow into. Also has themes of trauma, unreliable narrators, patriarchy, jealousy, ambitious women.

If you follow my tumblr you know I will connect anything to MBF but Yellowjackets writers did it for me in the show. They literally said Shauna/Jackie = Elena/Lila. If you don’t remember, this is when adult Shauna has dinner with Jackie’s mom who says she’s reading MBF and that the girls in the book remind her so much of Shauna and Jackie. She meant it as an insult to Shauna but it really is a great comparison. Especially since Lila and Elena def had something vaguely fruity going on (but also for other, spoilery reasons). Elena Ferrante is pretty much the go-to when it comes to writing about complicated female friendships so it is not a surprise that they reference it in the show. If you are obsessed with the Shauna/Jackie “friendship” this book series is for you!

Is it queer? if you consider Jackie and Shauna’s relationship to be queer then yes. There is a lot of subtext and in the later books a little more than subtext.

Cat’s Eye - Margaret Atwood

Summary: A painter returns to where she grew up and memories that she blocked out of a traumatic childhood friendship resurface.

Yellowjackets connection: Women thinking about their traumatic friendships! And how these affected them going forward in life. The girls in this are a little younger than Yellowjackets girls but I think it is still a foundational text about traumatic female friendships and unreliable narrators. I am absolutely a Margaret Atwood apologist so don’t come for me (or do. I love messages in my inbox)

Is it queer?: no ):

Big Swiss - Jen Beagin

Summary: Greta is a transcriber for a sex therapist where she learns all sorts of intimate details of his clients. She becomes obsessed with a client and even starts a sexual relationship with her! She does not disclose her prior knowledge of this woman so things get messy.

Fun fact for Killing Eve fans: It is going to be made into a series starring Jodie Comer!

Yellowjackets connection: This is the only book on this list that doesn’t really flash between old and young versions of a character (a bit at the end). Yet I think it deserves to be on this list because messy queer women and obsession and mental illness. Also now that I am thinking about it actually the main character does think about her childhood in the woods a bit...

Is it queer?: The main relationship is between two women and they have a lot of sex. So, yes!

Trust Exercise - Susan Choi

Summary: Don’t want to spoil any of the big reveals but it’s vaguely about highschool theatre kids and their unhealthy dynamic with their abusive theatre teacher. Trigger warnings for statutory rape and general predatory behavior.

Yellowjackets connection: The reason I put this on my list is because it is about women in high school going through trauma and their adult selves dealing with it. It is about the stories they tell themselves to cope. It is about unreliable narrators. It is about narrative and truth and figuring out what actually happened. The book will not tell you directly, you have to discover it yourself (or read a review that explains it).

Is it queer? no ):

#yellowjackets #book reccomendatons #book recs #queer books #queer book recs #my lists #listen you know i love a good book rec list and this has just been sitting in my HEAD #close followers of my blog are SHOCKED I brought up elena ferrante.SHOCKED #I do truly believe all yellowjackets fans who like to read should read the lost girls of camp forevermore since it is SO similar #the lost girls of camp forevermore #my brilliant friend #cat's eye #trust exercise #big swiss

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aeirithgainsborough · 1 year

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ok here we go what i want to say is. shauna saying she’s all about living in the moment is completely tragic, not only because the moment she’s living in is pregnant, stuck in the wilderness, sitting in a meat locker talking to her best friend’s body, guilt eating her alive bcus she knows her cruelty helped kill jackie. that’s all tragic enough. but the real tragedy is that she never leaves that meat locker not really. she wants to live in that moment and she does. for the rest of her life. she’s stuck in there, haunted by her dead best friend, who she hated so much she helped to kill her, who she loved so much she has to consume her entirely spirit and, quite literally, flesh! jackie’s there in the club and on the bridge and in her preserved childhood bedroom she’s in so many of shauna’s choices. that’s what’s most interesting about it, is so many of shauna’s actions lack maturity almost as though she could only pretend to grow up she’s got this veneer of responsibility and respectability and maturity but she’s still stuck with jackie at 17 so it’s all an act. the nightclub the jumping off the bridge in your underwear having sex in a car the mini golf game without even the thought hitting a ball out of the park might hurt someone bcus teens just. don’t always forward think that way. even the motivation for having her affair!!! she thinks jeff is having one so she has one to even the scales, to tip back the balance of power. this is a direct parallel to why shanua began sleeping with jeff when she was a teenager. jackie had all the power and shauna wanted to take some back for herself so she slept with her boyfriend and made him say i love you even if he didnt mean it. in both cases its shauna saying if you poke me ill poke you which is such a childlike reaction. this is all really obvious in jackie’s bedroom on her birthday bcus jackie herself emphasises it in this weird scene where you have adult shauna acting like teenage shauna and teenage jackie acting like an adult jackie that never got to exist. shauna is the one who has aged she’s the adult but she jumps to being defensive and is so quick to let jackie absolve her of blame vs jackie who hasn’t aged at all but talks like an adult ‘yes it was your fault but we were kids and it was horrible’. we!!were!!kids!! but jackie is STILL a kid and yet she has an insight into the situation that shauna is still grappling with because she’s still in that moment, the one in the meat locker, eaten up by guilt and grief, talking to her best friend’s body. and she’s still, in so many ways, 17. the fact this more adult version of jackie with her younger face is just an invented version of her that lives in shauna’s head makes it all the more sad.

#they fucking kill me i can’t stop thinking about them #anyway this was bouncing around my head it’s incoherent but i needed to get the thoughts out #yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #shauna shipman #jackie taylor #prev. ellieswlliams

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holylottie · 3 months

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aching bones, aching teeth [06]

masterlist [socials and TW's]

PAIRING — Lottie Matthews x fem!reader

CHAPTER SINOPSIS — Lottie always gets more than she can have.

NOTE — english is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes you might find. Please read the tw's first! Thank you for reading :)

1996

You stood still at the lake. Shauna tried to take you back to the cabin but to no avail, you couldn't bring yourself to move, to think.

You cursed god, got mad at the divine and, consequently, got mad at Lottie. How could she allow such a thing, how could she not know?

Your clothes were wet as you kept yourself sitting on the holy lake — as holy as a sin could be — crying, sobbing loudly. You couldn't scream, your sobs weren't filled with sounds, but they were filled with a new-found hurt: you just entered a new life, a life without Laura, without her sweet words and thoughtful prayers. You didn't hear Natalie arriving, but you felt her steady hands on your shoulders, she pulled you up, holding you with a tight grip while silent.

You didn't bother to speak.

She helped you change your soaked clothes and she made you lay down on the floor, next to an almost sleep Lottie. You two stared at each other, sharing a pain no one else in the cabin could understand.

Lottie reaches out for your hand — you give it to her —, holding your lamb plushie on the other.

Sleep comes slowly, a calm slumber.

But when you wake up, you are terrified.

However, you embrace the tears and make a friendship with the fear, you did not mind the nightmare. There, Laura was alive.

— All okay, Tiq? — Shauna stared at you, from across the room, giving you a gentle tiny smile.

You knew she only meant to be nice, but to someone even consider the possibility of you answering yes, it was devastating, horrifying. Nothing would ever be okay.

You nod, anyway, getting up and putting your mattress on top of Charlotte.

It’s way later than when you normally wake up, but you suppose the girls gave you all a break since the last events. Your stomach is aching for food, and you have to hold onto the walls to not fall when you start to walk.

Shauna and you went outside, and she looked at the leaves you had bring to the girls, their taste was horrible, and there weren’t many of them, but it was better than sleeping on an empty stomach.

— I don’t think I would ever say that, but I do miss cutting meat.

You giggle at Shauna’s remark, your eyes drifting off to Jackie, sitting a few steps away from you two. Shauna’s eyes were on her too.

— Do you think this will end someday?

— Everything does eventually, Tiq. In a good or bad way… everything ends.

— You're harvesting then?!

Like a sinner, a nômade living on the consequences of Adam and Eve.

You hear Mari’s voice and your whole body gets on alert. You get up from your kneeling position, poorly trying to hide the little strawberry patch with your own legs.

She pulled you by the collar of your shirt, her face so close to yours that you could almost see the anger in her irises.

— it’s not for you.

You simply say, filled with hate too, angry at her for finding out,angry at her for being angry at you.

— Oh, yeah for who’s it then For your teen crush, yn?

Her voice is so bitter that your ears hurt. You hated arguments, you hated people arguing, especially at you.

— What makes Lottie more deserving of it than any of us?

You stare at her, and then you laugh.

Silly stupid little Mari.

How could one’s own mind be so deeply wrong? How could one’s own mind compare themselves with something as big and holy as a god?

— When they grow, they will be mine and Akilah’s too.

As she said that, she left.

You felt the urge to step on all your work, to dig your fingers deep on the dirt and take all those seeds elsewhere.

Of course you felt sad, everyone was thinking you all would die — and everyone was pretending to not care about the imminent death and only worry about the stupid ball. You weren’t mad because there was a ball, you were mad because everyone was suddenly losing hope.

For you, the absence of hope was a death of the soul. Soon, the body would go too.

What was the point of life if you didn’t hope for things to get better? You wanted to cry, but who were you to deny an opportunity to dance with Lottie? To deny an opportunity to dance at all?

If there was one thing Lottie liked, it was watching the moon. She would sit by the window and concentrate so hard that she could almost hear it saying goodnight.

She didn't hear you arrive, you didn't announce yourself, but a snap of your mouth did.

You smiled ungraciously and waved softly at her. Your furred ears costume had little ribbons on it, Lottie saw it as a sign: you were a gift from the wild to her.

— Why does your mom call you bambi? — you approached, leaning on the tree next to the girl and looking in the same direction as her.

— It's because I jump around when I'm excited. — Lottie smiled, looking at you; You were different, lighter. Maybe it was the mood of the upcoming party, nobody felt pressured to be someone different in the dark lights and upcoming death.

— What should I call you then? My deer? — you laughed, playing on the pun of dear and deer.

Lottie Matthews always knew what to say, making cheeky comments and being the outgoing type, but you took all her words, she could never finish a sentence, let alone a seductive one.

Ignoring the way her heart was skipping a beat at being called "mine", she followed what was comfortable: concentrating on the joke.

She liked hearing it. She didn't know if it was her instinct as an only child who was born without having to share, but the idea of being the only one to whom you felt comfortable enough to open up so much made her chest fill with pride.

She tried to push aside her selfish thoughts of keeping what you said to herself.

— Have you ever read Sarah Ruhl? In one of her short stories, she tells about a great American surgeon called Halsted. He was married to a nurse whom he loved very much. One day Halsted noticed that his wife's hands were red when she came back from surgery. — you were so enthusiastic, explaining everything with such joy, how could she remember and know so many general and random facts? How could Lottie pay attention to her costume when all she could do was stare at your lips? — And then he invented rubber gloves. For her. Sarah said it was one of medicine's great love stories, talking about how the difference is made out of love.

Lottie stared at her, smiling and vaguely remembering reading something about the construction of love. She knew that her feelings for you were big enough to make her invent something as good as gloves. Even if at the moment it was something as small as a party.

— Do you think everyone is going to have a love story this good? Or does the universe choose a few lucky people at random, Lotts? — you thought out loud, then laughed mockingly and denied it, asking her to let it go. Lottie smiled, handing you a box.

You had to hold back tears when you opened it and saw a tiara made out of leaves and flowers. You smiled happily.

You couldn't form words, so you just hugged her tightly.

— Your antlers are a bit too big — you laughed.

And Lottie felt the inspiration of a scientist.

2021

You loved gardening.

Everything you did in the mud, came back in some way. All your efforts would eventually lead to something, it didn’t had any subjectivity on it, it was simple and clear: plant it, take care of it and receive it.

You had a notebook to note every single one of your seeds and gardening cares, some tips and even pictures of your most beloved ones. However, your favorite of it all was, without a doubt, your strawberry patch.

It was so incredibly taken care of, strawberries as red as blood, leaves as green as hope. You would sit there, putting water, take off bugs with delicate fingers and eat a fruit straight from the patch.

— I never liked strawberries too much, most of them don’t taste like anything.

Laura said, playing with one of the ladybugs.

Or, rather, Laura’s ghost said. Today, she felt adventurous, following you outside of your house. Her clothes dripped water, and her neck was burned by flames. It was an unusual sight — that was already usual to you.

— You can’t know they all taste like that if you don’t eat all of them.

— That’s stupid — she giggles, shaking her head — you don’t need to know everything to hate it.

You smiled, taking off your gloves and smiling at her.

— I was never able to see the crickets; I used to get so deeply upset about it… — You confessed, your face holding a nostalgic smile; It was a strange action in Laura’s point of view: you were so young, what could you have in the past to be longed for? — Until one day a cricket got into my room and I ran away… I’m afraid that once a person truly sees something, she will wish to go back and never see anything at all. like you, with a strawberry.

You shake your head, it was funny, confess sins to a ghost.

There was a whole life in those woods, hungry and harvest, misery and tragedy and hope, and there was birth and death.

And it's hard because you can't kill the person you were in that lifetime, but you also can't still be her. So there's just this ghost of yourself lurking over your shoulder, despising your every move, watching you sin.

— And guess what, Laura: tomorrow when I wake up, I'll have a wonderful day, and when I put my head on my pillow to sleep, I'll think again: how much happier I would've been if I had been doing this at seventeen.

When on the stage, you felt a flower fall on your feet, you got down and picked it up, recognizing it as a white lily.

You didn’t see her right away, but you felt it.

Your soul was being pulled toward hers and then your eyes went to find her, looking non-stop for someone who would make your breath stop.

Twenty five years later, and you would still recognize her blind. You would still acknowledge her presence even if all your senses were compromised, for you would only be you if there was the flame of your love for lottie inside your body.

You just hoped that the you’s of other universe’s had a more kind life to love her.

1996

The doomsday ball

You’ve never felt happier as you did when Lottie asked you to go as her date to the ball. Finally, the rainbow before the thunderstorm.

Your mother said that there were five hells — and that one of them was destined only for people like you, but you didn't care about that anymore. If hell were as warm as Charlotte's embrace, you would walk through the gates with a smile on her face.

You had always had many doubts about the Bible.

You read the verses, imagining yourself in the places of angels and heroes — even though the position of sinners, and those who sought mercy, always seemed more real to you (as if you had been born with your hands in prayer and your knees already scraped).

You looked at the saints, seeing them deprive themselves of their desires to finally find the way to God. You thought about what you wanted — Charlotte — and saw no difference between your desire and your destiny.

You smile, seeing everyone so pretty and happy, like things were supposed to be since the beginning. You take a deep breath, going to take a sip of your drink as you watch Van e Tai give a kiss.

A whole new world seems to show up in front of you.

A world of possibilities and wishes, of love and care.

A world where there were no sins, only passion.

— C'mon, dance with me! — Lottie’s arms were moving like tentacles, like a snake calling you to sin.

Eager to please, you bit the apple. Your movements were too graceful for a party, you didn't know how to move without rules to follow, without an established pattern to be guided to.

One of Lottie's hands went to your left cheek, caressing it slightly while the other was holding a makeshift cigarette Natalie had made — you wondered what would burn more: the flame she was smoking or her touch.

— You're just such a pretty little lamb, aren't you?

Lottie’s tone was condescending, but she had a playful, even flirtatious smile for you — the look of a predator who knows how to tear every piece of his prey apart.

Lottie leans closer, her nose almost touching her lover's one. You could feel the warmth of her breath on your skin. Lottie pulls your body to her.

— I just can't hide how I feel... I want you so much. I've never wanted someone as much as you, darling... — she presses her lips together as she goes in to whisper something in your ear — Your heart is so sweet...

Lottie gets even closer, her voice barely audible:

— I want to taste it.

And the closer she gets, the far away she seems. You don't know why, but the booze might have made your thoughts and vision unclear.

You smile, giggling happily, your hips moving to the music playing inside your head.

Lottie’s mouth gets close, close to your chest and, having access to your skin by the cut of your dress, she licks your chest. Gently, at first, then eagerly, hungrily. Her mouth leaves hicks on your skin, you feel the blood being pulled and released and then you feel the first bite. Her teeth penetrate your skin.

You cry out, but it's a muffed one, not out of pain, but out of relief. You get out of breath, your shaking hands going to her hair, caressing it.

While you felt your meat being taken away from you, while Lottie took what always had belonged to her, your mind was feverishing with thoughts, screaming confessions:

I cannot confess anymore, it is not enough, I need to devour my sins, to let them perish from where they came from.

Biting my tongue, I wish to bite my hand.

I want the marks, I need the flaws and claws and teeth teeth teeth

Lottie takes a step away, her eyes watery from the pleasure she had felt, her fingertips aching to touch you, her teeth aching for more.

Her mouth was completely bloody, with your red ink falling down her chin.

— You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.

You felt the urge to kiss Travis too, only to be able to feel Lottie's lips, but then Shauna kissed him and suddenly the thought made you sick.

Your head was dizzy, you missed Laura.

You sit out the ground of the cabin, not able to recognize faces or things, you can hear voices but none of them is clear. So you stay still, trying to understand why your vision was so blurred.

When your eyes truly open, you are alone. A deep fear settles onto your chest, and you start to breathe heavily, your lips quivering and bloody tears rolling down your face. You put your tongue out, tasting their salt flavor.

You did not pray that night, but you had a serious personal conversation with Jesus. You hoped he had good days, good enough to show him that life isn't just about dying for other people's sins.

#yellowjackets #itmighthavebeenlibrary #aching bones aching teeth #reader insert #yellowjackets x reader #yellowjackets x you #lottie matthews x you #lottie matthews #lottie matthews x reader #cannibalism as a metaphor for love

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calliesadeckis · 5 months

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Hi love can you please write some Callie x fem reader hcs

of course!!! writing headcanons is so much faster and easier than actually writing one shots (literally need to write/finish my other two current requests ahsjdjdj) also callie my babygirl, i love her SO bad

your guys' relationship is a bit of a slow burn. because 1. she's with kyle but also 2. mommy issues. she knows her parents relationship isn't as perfect as they make it seem and it takes a toll on her a bit (kind of like nancy wheeler, but at least with callie, jeff actually cares about his family, with shauna.... it's complicated, but we're well aware of that)

even as friends, callie wants to keep her distance. like yeah, she does have alana but with you, it was different. something that was stronger (yet again, i don't think callie let alana sleep over at her house and i wouldn't blame her)

but when you do, callie REALLY wants to make sure you don't come to her house mainly because of shauna. it's just lesbian with mommy issues (callie is a lesbian to me, i will die on that hill)

and well, it takes her a while to build of the courage to tell you how she feels about you. like a loooooooong while. but she does eventually because you help her open up more, making you feel like safe space for her

but it takes a bit longer after you guys get together for her to let you meet her parents

when she does, she literally begs shauna and jeff to not be weird about it at all

jeff tries to keep his cool about it, to be an ally (he literally searches online about "what to do when your daughter brings home a girl?")

shauna, at first, isn't fond of you, but over time, she comes around to the idea especially since you make her daughter happy. like genuinely happy. shauna does live her daughter, she just..... has a hard time showing it

you and callie aren't very touchy, and you guys don't have to be. when you're watching tv together, she has her head on your shoulder (or vice versa)

and if you aren't as affectionate as she is, that's fine. both of you have your boundaries and you set them and respect one another

same if you are physically affectionate. she let's you hug her, lay your head on her shoulder or her lap, cheek kisses, but you don't go overboard. just the small little things she enjoys

it takes her a while to say "i love you" but she eventually does when she feels that you're the one. and you are!

everytime you stay for dinner, jeff always tries to make you feel apart of the family. he just wants his little girl to be happy

and does this mean you'll be dragged into their family messes? yup. you are officially apart of the family, you are joining in their disasters whether you like it or not

and that means bonding with shauna a bit more as she slowly sees you as trustworthy and knows you're a good fit for callie (i know for a fact that she did not like kyle at all when callie was dating him and obviously, she hates that fucking cop and as she should. acab)

honestly, callie's parents become family to you, and accepting you into it because you make her happy (they are a dysfunctional murder family, but they are happy, in a weird fucked up way)

and yes, jeff invites you to holiday dinners, which makes callie flush in embarrassment

did this turn out to be more of you meeting shauna and jeff while dating callie? yes. but come on, the experience would be hilarious like "yeah, i'm apart of my girlfriend's crazy family that covers up murders. no big deal :)"

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets x reader #callie sadecki x reader #headcanons #yellowjackets imagine #jaiden writes things #anon

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misty-caligula · 1 year

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I cannot help but notice that in the wilderness one of the things that the girls are really messed up with is that they’ve made Lottie their baseline for reality, when Lott’s grip is unstable. Not only in that she’s unsure what’s real or not, but that her vibe is inconsistent as well. If it was consistently slanted in exactly one direction then it’d be somewhat better, but she’s like a see-saw, being swayed by them, and then swaying them in turn.

In the adult timeline now they’re in EXACTLY the same situation. Lott’s back in charge, she’s setting the rules again, giving guidance, again, and she’s an unreliable source, again. She’s literally taken them back to the wilderness, and they don’t even seem to notice.

That’s not to say anything bad about Lottie herself, I think that her intentions when it comes to the yellowjackets are solid, but she’s not great at the follow through.

But what I really want to talk about is anger, and violence, and the way that Lottie’s pseudotherapy does more harm than good.

I just keep thinking about Lisa with the fork. Lottie gives her permission to attack Nat, and she doesn’t. She drops the fork, she hugs Nat instead. But the thing is... she might’ve. She could’ve done REAL damage, if she’d wanted to. And both Nat and Lottie know that, they’ve seen it. They know it better than ANYBODY.

I think it’s really worth explicitly saying that Lisa didn’t choose not to hurt Nat in vengeance because Lottie gave her the option. Instead, she did it because she, herself, is not a violent person. She chose to drop the fork because she inherently didn’t WANT to. And yes, she might be able to say “I faced my anger, and I chose to not turn it into violence” and she might feel that she’s gained some kind of valuable insight from that. But that doesn’t make it therapy. It makes her a lucky coin flip.

Consider: if Lisa were a vengeful, violent person, she wouldn’t have needed Lottie’s permission. She’d have found a way to act out her anger in a harmful way, regardless.

Now look at Shauna. The originator of this form of ... therapy. Lottie says to her, we NEED you. You have all this pain, all this anger, let it out so that you can function again.

At the time she says that Shauna’s already thrown two punches and is being physically restrained.

But here’s the thing: the sheer RAGE inside Shauna is not the same thing as violence. Every single one of the yellowjackets has anger, has been hurting and burning within. And they haven’t been unleashing it on each other. Anger and violence are not inherently linked, anger is an emotion, violence is an activity, and there’s a choice to connect the two. To excuse the violence with the anger.

In ACTUAL therapy we’re taught to disconnect the two.

A huge part of anger management is recognising that it’s one thing to feel an emotion, it’s a whole other thing to unleash it through violence on others. There are so many other, less destructive ways to express that anger. And moreover, the thing is... your brain works by connecting things together, and every time you do you build the pathway tighter. Once you connect anger and violence and the more you reinforce that, you’ll find that you turn to violence faster, more frequently, and most importantly it doesn’t actually provide the catharsis we’re promised. The frustrating truth is that anger expressed as violence just makes you bathe in the anger, which leads to more violence, which leads to more anger. It’s a very toxic spiral, that makes you feel completely out of control of yourself, and obviously does tremendous collateral damage.

So Shauna starts by punching Misty, then Lott. Lottie responds by mistakenly seeing this outburst as somehow helpful, and creates a space that respects Shaunas violence. And CRITICALLY...it does not work. She almost kills Lott, then when she leaves the cabin and has a moment alone, she’s not... ashamed, she’s not cooler, she’s not even felt catharsis. Look at her face.

Here’s a girl who’s looking for round 2.

When Misty’s hands are covered in blood she FREAKS OUT. She just completely breaks down, burdened with the guilt she feels. When Lott’s hands are covered in blood she falls to pieces, so afraid of hurting those around her. When Tai’s hands are covered in blood and dirt she’s panicked, afraid of what she might’ve done, and to whom she might’ve done it. Now Shauna’s hands are covered in blood and she’s still burning. The rage isn’t gone, nothing is healed, catharsis is absent.

One of the first things we ever even learn about adult!Shauna is that she has this violence inside her. In the shorthand of the show, she has blood on her hands, and she’s completely fine with it.

And now, after being broken out of her housewife mask by Adam in s1 she’s unlocked the box again, and we find she’s the kind of person who gets OFF on violence. Definitely not on hurting those who she actually cares about, she doesn’t want to hurt Callie or Jeff or Bruce. But she’ll BARELY restrain herself from shooting a random man who’s wronged her, because it feels GOOD, she knows she’ll get that hit of adrenaline and endorphins that come with the release of it.

It’s not actual catharsis, it’s not healthy and it’s definitely not helping her anger. But Lottie’s therapy has functioned in the same way it did for Lisa. Lisa didn’t learn how to control her anger, she learned that she’s not a violent person, she doesn’t WANT to be a violent person.

Shauna’s been offered the same choice, and she’s learned that she WANTS to be violent, that it feels GOOD to her, and worse, now it’s not just been unlocked, it’s been CONDONED. Don’t expect this to make her anything but more aggressive, more angry, more violent in the future.

#yellowjackets #analysis #spoilers #long post #anger vs violence

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ghostchems · 1 month

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IT’S @tasty-ribz’s BIRTHDAY!!!

go wish them happy birthday RIGHT NOW! they post the funniest most angsty dang art and we love them for it.

in honor of them i am working on a little thing and here’s a snippet of it.

is it a stand-alone fic? maybe. is it an update? could be. who knows! maybe ribz does 😏

***

“Jeff! Shut the fuck up!” Shauna elbows him in the ribs. He laughs and shrugs her off, placing one hand on her shoulder and giving her a strong push. She falls off the tree stump where they were sitting on onto the wet leaves. “Dickhead!”

“Can you guys relax?” Colin huffs from the other side of the fire. They do not relax, instead Shauna launches herself into Jeff’s lap and starts to tickle his sides. “I’m trying to tell a spooky story!!” Colin whines in protest then angrily throws his marshmallow on a stick into the flames. Jeff forcefully removes Shauna from his lap and sits her down beside him.

“Fine, man. Relax” He shrugs and shoves his hands into his sweatshirt pocket. “Tell your story and quick so we can get back to having fun.” Shauna giggles behind him while Colin gives an exasperated sigh.

“There’s supposedly creatures that roam these woods. People go missing all the time. They tried to build houses just outside the woods but the structures would end up rotted out as soon as they were put up.” Colin sounds almost uninterested, his gaze drifting to look at the darkness behind them. “Legend says that witches inhabit these woods… the creatures are their pets and they abduct people and use their bones for the brews.”

“Psh. Boring.” Jeff throws a stick into the fire.

“It’s not witches, though. You know that old building right at the edge of the woods?”

“The Satanic Church?” Shauna asks.

“The… I mean yes, but it’s not… it’s not actually a satanic church is it?” Colin is *thrown off*.

“No, that’s true.”

“What? No way.

“Yeah. It is a Satanic Church or something but they’re nice, ya know. They, like, donate food to the homeless and stuff. They’re good people.” Shauna kicks a few leaves at her feet.

“Oh.” Colin sinks into his folding chair. “Well never mind then.” He crosses his arms and sits in silence.

This is a bummer of a camping trip for all of them it seems. They don’t last much longer, with Shauna and Jeff retiring early to the tent while Colin stays in his chair to watch the fire go out and having to listen to the two of them screw around. He’s not particularly happy with being the third wheel but this time alone makes it all the worth it. He starts to doze off as the night drags on, the fire taking its time… or is something keeping it alight? No, no… that’s Colin’s creeped out brain talking. It’s definitely because they put an ungodly amount of lighter fluid onto the firewood.

A twig snaps in the distance that makes Colin’s hair stand on end. His surroundings are pitch black except for the fire. Wide awake now but he’s sure it’s nothing. That is… until he hears more rustling that only grows closer and closer with each passing second.

“Hello?”

Dead silence.

Colin sinks further into his camping chair and returns his gaze to the fire. A few peaceful moments pass.

And then he sees it. A pair of glowing eyes from the darkness right by the tent.

#ooooOooooOoOoOoOoOoO #tasty-ribz #so many icons birthdays this month!!!#it’s a papa but whoooo #there will be spice #eventually

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tabithatwo · 1 year

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I love Yellowjackets okay it’s CLEAR if you observe my insane habits around this show but listen to me stay with me they so clearly did NOT have the 96 timeline planned out enough when writing the adults in season one. Or it got changed or added to or whatever to a Strong Degree. Maybe this is execs trying to make the show and it’s characters more palatable for mainstream success?? idk it feels possible to me.

But SHAUNA? Present Shauna was haunted by Jackie almost every scene of s1. It was so painfully clear how much Jackie’s presence was felt by her entire family CONSTANTLY. The bunnies, the conversations they had, the hallucinations all of it!! Jackie Jackie Jackie dead girl alive haunting the narrative. This season? Radio silence. And like pls don’t tell me shauna just has too much going on this season to feature any Jackie haunting like rewatch s1 she was PLENTY FUCKING BUSY having affairs and being blackmailed by her husband and doing murder!!! Jackie was so woven in to her character that NOTHING was untouched by her. So what, now we’ve seen Jackie’s death in 96 so she doesn’t haunt her anymore in present?? Now the baby is the strongest presence looming over her family? (This is said in an interview with the show runners and I’ve talked about it in another post!) When it wasn’t felt at all s1? No, you don’t want to spoil things in 96 so it is tricky, but there could’ve been hints. We always knew the baby would go poorly at the very fucking least. And the lack of Jackie haunting is a HUGE change. If you don’t think so, go back and watch s1 like I promise you it was POTENT. So does shifting the cause for her violence to being heavily based on losing the baby make a general audience more sympathetic to her? I think it might.

Misty?? Crystal???? If you watch s1 present Misty, there is no presence of crystals loss impacting her. They didn’t even have Crystal as a character. Misty was shown with a very unwavering proclivity to feel EXCITEMENT during horrible things. That continued into adulthood. Yeah, as we see characters more, we get more details. Sure. But the issue is the present timeline characters are only shifting based on the unfolding events of 96, you know what I mean? Like I’m sorry but the impact of Crystal and Misty’s panic around her and this new crushing GUILT for what she’s done was not a presence in s1 adult Misty. To make way for this crystal arc, teen Misty just doesn’t give a single FUCK about Ben anymore? Not obsessing with him or controlling him? And you might say she transferred her obsession. She got bored of her toy. Okay MAYBE yes, but in present day she doesn’t transfer. Walter would be a new option and she’s locked on natalie. Adult Misty has kept tabs on every single Yellowjacket, she has room for multiple lines of obsession. Her just dropping anything with Ben is odd and what makes her more sympathetic? Being a fucking monster to Ben? Or accidentally causing crystals death and mourning her and feeling an influx of guilt for her shitty actions?

I WORRY that we’re seeing a series of unplanned (therefore unshown in the adult versions of them that we ALREADY HAD in s1) events to increase sympathy and likability. I could probably think about this for more of them but shauna and Misty really stand out. YES you can and should develop characters as a series evolves, but the issue is if you show them in the PRESENT you can’t make them EVOLVE based on what you’re revealing in the PAST, does that make sense? It can inform their present actions, you can highlight different facets of them, all sorts of stuff. But this feels like something wayyy beyond that.

I hope I’m wrong and I hope they bring it back around <3 like so sincerely <3 and if you disagree and this makes perfect sense to you I’m happy for you <3 I wish that I did not feel this way <3 I’ve been trying to live in denial land about this all season <3 but it’s hitting hard right now <3

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets blogging #shauna shipman #jackie taylor #misty quigley

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chansaw · 11 months

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Hi! I don’t know if you’re still talking asks about the yj animorphs au, but just in case you are: how does each girl keep herself sane and grounded (or something close to it)? Does Laura Lee become even more driven by faith? Does Nat try to convince herself that she can “find her purpose” like in the show? Does Van retreat into fantasy and films? I’d read a thousand page novel of this au, I find it so fascinating :) Thanks!

yes i am ALWAYS taking asks about the yellowjackets animorphs au!!

anyways, to answer your question:

laura lee’s faith remains her anchor amidst the horror of the war. she remembered staring up at the angels on the stained glass windows in church as a little girl. it was their wings that fascinated her the most - what would it be like, she’d ask herself, to go to heaven, to be so close to god ? well, god works in mysterious ways. her question is answered when she morphs a peregrine falcon for the first time and she learns what it’s like to touch heaven for herself. she knows it’s a little strange, but she likes to go through her litanies while she rides the updraft winds. maybe being closer to heaven will mean god has a better chance of hearing her prayers.

shauna’s mother worried that jackie’s disappearance and presumed death would hit her even harder than the rough and messy separation from her father. but surprisingly, she seems to be alright. she spends an awful lot of time doting on the pet rabbit she adopted shortly after jackie went missing, but shauna’s mom doesn’t think anything of it.

but really, shauna grounds herself in the spilling of blood. there’s a strange sort of comfort in the danger she throws herself into. she pours all of her rage into each strike she throws. her adrenaline spikes and she feels on top of the world. she feels free. the team sees her as their insurance policy, and she knows that. it’s not her fault she’s so goddamn angry - at herself, at the yeerks, at fucking jackie - but it sure is useful sometimes.

lottie’s trying so hard. but it’s not like she can plonk on her psychiatrist’s couch and say “doc, can you up my meds? being the commander of earth’s only hope against utter destruction is kind of taking a toll on me.” she tries to be the lottie matthews everyone expects her to be. but she also throws more parties, smokes more cigarettes, steals more shitty clothes from tj maxx. she’s trying, she really is.

i’ll add a part two to this tomorrow because i have more to say but absolutely no mental capacity to explain any of it in my current state. anyways, there is a good chance i might write a thousand or more pages for this so you’re in luck

#yellowjackets animorphs au

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lesbianlotties · 11 months

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ur the only other person i've seen even imply that there may still be a whol other side and edge to van's decisions and behavior in the finale aside from just "we need to actually help lottie because we are friends" and i have to say...based take, like yes i think van is acting out of a place of genuine care and concern but also...she can be a lil fucked up and feral too...as a treat

YEAH THANK YOU

okay. so. i'm not 100% sure of the theory. but i'm not 100% sure of anything, so this is okay enough. it's just. van was sooo fascinating this season but in a kinda mysterious way. because sometimes i wanted to say "who's this??" and yet at the same time she never felt out of character??? and yet all her decisions this season left me ??? confused? shocked? def needing to know more about her thought process and motives because...

at first she was "i don't need help with my life and as soon as i help tai i want her away from me. i would never go to lottie's cult i'm curious but i'm staying the hell out of that place" but as soon as she saw Lottie it was like something very important in her shifted

she did hesitate at first, and she tried to leave, and she avoided therapy to get drunk and kiss her ex. but she is the one that kept shauna from leaving, and it was all downhill from there.

and like. i don't know if it's true but it would be a good explanation maybe??? she saw lottie, she remembered the powers lottie (all of them?) used to have in the wilderness, the way that spilling blood saved someone's life. even if it meant someone else dying. but she's the one that never really dies, so what does she have to fear? so yeah maybe she cares about lottie, but maybe it's also the perfect excuse to find out if maybe a little sacrifice could save her from the one thing that really looks like it might finally kill her???

#i have no idea if this answer makes any sense but here we are!!!!#like i don't want to think about van being okay with one of them dying to cure her cancer but. girl why did you do the things that you did #answered #anon #yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets

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g3arb0y · 11 months

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When Natalie comes to her realization, she’s with Misty cleaning up Shauna’s mess.

Said realization is that she may be falling in love with Misty fucking Quigley. The same Misty Quigley who stalked her, put a camera in her room, and wasted $300 of coke trying to stop nat from relapsing.

The Misty who has always stuck by Nat even when she pushed her away and hurt her in so many ways.

Natalie starts to feel guilty as she watches Misty move Adams body.

Why does misty do so much for this broken team when its so clear nobody enjoys her presence. Natalie, for the second time today comes to the realization that misty loves to try and mend broken things. That misty has this fucked up sense that she needs to be a savior to any and all people she can.

And Natalie for a brief second wants Misty to be her savior. Wants Misty to try and put her back together, but that thought is quickly pushed away.

She knows that letting her live out the delusion that she can fix Natalie wouldn’t be good for either of them. Only Natalie can fix herself and maybe she’d like the company of misty while she does, just as a friend or something more. Not as a savior.

Natalie is then jolted from her inner monolog by the very person she was monologging about.

“Nat? Natalie? Are you going to help me or just stand there.” Misty says with a slight smile.

Suddenly remembering what she’s here to do. “Huh? Oh fuck, yeah sorry.”

Natalie isn’t one to become nervous around women. But sitting on the floor and scrubbing blood off of it with Misty, she is. Nervous that they might get caught covering up a murder.

And nervous that after cleaning up this body, misty will go back to ignoring her. Something Natalie unexpectedly hates thinking about.

Yes misty is annoying, and way to cheerful about cleaning up a body, but Natalie, as she hates to admit. Likes having misty around. Though she’d never tell Misty that.

Something about Misty’s stupid laugh and weird interests endears Natalie. The way misty is always so excited to see Natalie. Not to mention Misty isnt ugly, she’s very pretty actually.

Natalie sneaks a glance at misty’s face and she feels a ping of want in her heart, and she now realizes something for the fifth time today, she is about to make a mistake.

She clears her throat, which draws Misty’s attention.

“Uhm Im sorry. About being such a dick to you. Don’t fucking say anything stupid about it or I’ll take it back.” She mostly adds that last part because she feels, weird. About this thing she’s trying to do right now.

“Mm, its okay! I know its mostly because of some unresolved trauma or whatever, and what happened out there! I never hold it against you.” Misty says back still scrubbing the floor.

And Nat hates, how misty can just brush it off, not care about how horrible Natalie has treated her. She also hates that Misty called her out, because she’s right. It is unresolved trauma. But she stops herself before she can get to deep into such a depressing thought.

“Right. So i was, wondering is you wanted to hang out or whatever after we get this done..?”

Surely misty would jump at this chance so she doesn’t understand why she’s so nervous.

Sure enough misty does jump at the chance. Literally.

She gets off her knees and starts jumping in place.

“Really? Okay okay, uhm how about going for coffee? No, to conventional. Theme park? No you definitely wouldn’t like that…”

Misty starts to ramble, and Natalie begins to regret it but pushes that down. Misty deserves to be treated well after how Natalie treated her.

“Just fuckin pick something please.”

“Sleepover!” Misty squeals like she’s 17 again.

Natalie figures she never got to have a sleepover so she just nods and they finish doing their part of the Adam situation.

Natalie pulls up on the beat up motorcycle she bought after she sold her car.

She figures she could’ve walked to misty’s house but she does still like her, so she might as well try to impress her a bit.

Natalie can see misty looking outside, probably waiting for her. She smiles a bit thinking about Misty setting up and eagerly waiting for her arrival.

She walks up and doesnt even have to knock on the door before it opens.

“Hi Natalie! Cool bike by the way!”

Misty is practically jumping for joy.

Natalie gives a hum in response.

“Can i come in?”

Misty steps aside, signaling for her to come in. She can see that misty has cooked dinner, and has netflix pulled up on the tv.

“You really prepared for this huh?” Only slightly teasing.

“Well its not everyday Natalie Scatorccio says yes to a sleepover.” She can see misty has a smirk on her face. Natalie thinks its not the most unpleasant thing she’s seen.

“So uh, what are the plans then?”

“Okay so first dinner, obviously. Then if you want theres ice cream for dessert. Then i figured we’d watch a movie? Then bed and i’ll make breakfast in the morning?”

This actually isn’t such a bad plan. Natalie nods.

“So whats for dinner?”

“Spaghetti.” Misty smiles that Misty smile and leads her to the dining room.

After they’re done eating Misty brings out the ice cream. It is a huge pint and, mainly strawberry. Natalie’s favorite flavor.

“Did you do this on purpose?”

“What ever do you mean?”

“..Dont play dumb.”

She’s looking at Misty and with the way she’s smiling at Natalie she definitely knew this was her favorite flavor, but then again misty might know Natalie better then she knows herself so she’s not surprised.

“Okay yes, now cmon.”

Misty grabs nat’s wrist and leads her to the couch, just like she did leading her to the dining room. Misty lets go when they get to the couch and Natalie finds herself missing the contact. She doesn’t say that though.

She sits close to misty. Trying to close the gap just a bit before they choose a movie.

Misty, to engrossed in trying to pick a movie they’d both like, doesn’t notice.

Natalie sees an opening and stares at Misty. Admiring her features, how her hair falls around her face, how her nose curves, how soft her lips look. She wonders if misty wears lip balm, wonders if her lips have a faint fruity taste.

Natalie has to stop herself from finding out on her own.

She shakes that thought and focuses on choosing a movie that would scare Misty.

“Lets watch Texas chainsaw massacre.” She says

“Mm i’ve never seen it!”

She watches misty search it up and press play.

Her plan was for Misty to get scared and for Natalie to comfort her, but she should’ve known better. She’s misty.

She’s staring at the screen while putting a scoop of ice cream in her mouth once and a while. Not scared at all, more interested in the plot then anything.

So her only plan failed. She figures its best to just let the night play out then.

The movie finishes and they get up, but not before misty grabs Natalie’s wrist again.

Natalie’s whole body becomes warm at her touch. She figures misty is only holding her wrist to lead her to the bedroom.

She heats up a bit more thinking about what this could be seen as. She likes the thought of misty leading her to bed, just to tear her to pieces and put her together again. To touch her in ways Natalie has touched herself.

She shakes the thought. Not the time.

“Alright bedtime!” Misty had led her to the bedroom like Natalie thought she would.

As she watches misty get ready for bed she realizes she didn’t bring any clothes to sleep in.

“Misty?”

“Hm?”

“I forgot clothes.”

Misty giggles and Natalie feels a bit embarrassed.

“Hold on, i’ll find you something!”

Nat watches as misty rummages through her drawers until she finds a plain black shirt and some pink shorts.

“Here ya go! I figured you wouldn’t want a sweater or a cat shirt or anything.”

Well misty was right, she would’ve hated a sweater.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome!”

Then misty pulls her shirt over her head and turns around to find a shirt to sleep in.

But Natalie freezes, and she stares at Misty’s back. Of course misty isn’t shy to show her body, but it drives Nat a little crazy. Seeing how Misty’s body curves, how smooth her skin is.

And Natalie for the second time tonight, wants to touch her, to caress her waist, hold her close to her own body. To hold her hips down while Misty is in a compromising position.

She wants to fantasize more but the thoughts are interrupted.

“Stop staring.”

Misty has that smirk she had earlier tonight, like she knows what she’s doing to her. She slips a shirt on.

Natalie scoffs to act like she wasn’t gawking and imagining eating Misty out.

“Like i ever would.”

Natalie changes quickly to avoid embarrassment and awkwardness, all while Misty giggles.

“Where am i sleeping?”

“In the bed with me?”

Oh.

Natalie hadn’t considered this is what they’d be doing.

“Right, right. Okay.”

She hesitantly climbs into Misty’s bed. While misty climbs in after her.

“Goodnight!”

Natalie is sleeping when Misty wakes her up.

“Nat? Hey? Can you, hold me?”

Natalie hums in response and turns to face her. She’s to tired to refuse and its not like she would have anyway.

She grabs Misty’s waist and pulls her to her chest. She can feel misty snake her arms around her.

“Whats this about?”

“Im not sure. Having you here, in the same bed as me, near me. It reminds me of the cabin. How close we all slept together.”

Now Misty brings it up she feels the same. Its not the most pleasent memory to go back to. So she understands why misty wants to be held.

Natalie hums again. Understanding how Misty feels.

“Im sorry i woke you.”

“Im glad you did. If you’re having bad memories, i’d prefer you let me go through it with you.”

And at that she hears misty giggle into her chest.

“Its just, back then we were all so broken. I think maybe we still are but it was so much worse back then. Having to watch our friends die. Eating them”

Natalie stiffens at the eating bit, remembering how she tore into Javi, how she cried and screamed trying to save him. And how misty held her back, saving her.

“I can barely eat beef anymore. Its to similar.”

Natalie relates to that. She’s stopped eating meat all together. Hating how similar the texture and taste was.

“I get it, you aren’t alone in that.”

“I know. Thank you for agreeing to this sleepover, you made me really happy tonight.”

Nat squeezes Misty a bit, letting her know its not a big deal.

“You ready to go to bed?”

“Can we stay like this?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.”

Natalie hesitates but plants a small kiss on Misty’s forehead.

“Goodnight.”

She waits till she feels Misty’s breath become slow and shallow before she sleeps.

Yeah, Natalie definitely loves Misty Quigley.

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