dear tsukasa:
I GOT THE JOB!!!!! (suckers.)
~ eientei's favourite (and now employed) kon-consultant
"Wowowowow!!! Excellent!!! I knew you could do it, fufufu..."
"Now, about my fee...well, surely I can kon-t on your services later, ri~ght?"
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mmh. i'm trying to get a job for the first time in a bit and i'm afraid i wont get it. the workforce is pretty hostile nowadays cuz everythings just like. shaking up all the time, you know. you think i'll make it? ~ sincerely, eientei's best (and hopefully employed) kon-consultant
Kukuku, I feel you. It's hard to get that bread, especially since the kappa started making all these pesky 'all-the-rhythmns'- but don't worry! As the "most wanted" in Gensokyou, I'd be glad to lend you some words- at a price~ I do specialise in gathering, so you came to the right place! There's a few factors, and…well…in the free market, you must utilise all your tools in a free-for-all.
Start with kon-nections if possible, check around if y'know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. If you're fresh meat, it might help to ask around family, friends, acquaintances, your school or other community situation- if you got the ties, there's nothing wrong with usin' them. I'm not toooo well-versed in recruitment agencies, but they might be an interesting choice to flick through- but just check in with other people to make sure you ain't the one getting the short stick! (or at least, if you can get a longer stick elsewhere)
Or, if your scoop ain't working, make the whole pool your net! Speedrun those resumes and chuck em like a paperboy into any and every inbox! After the 76th tapping session on your typewriter, the fear of rejection just becomes benign (those numbers can stack up, but at least you can brag about them? or put 'fast typer' on your resume) So for the first round, do any that you can speedrun- anything that wants you to do those shitty puzzles or rewrite criteria and all that junk? Save it for when you can do it
…And now for those jobs- it's a bit of a gamble- those speedy ones will have all these silly little kappa machines to say yes or no before they know your name. Those ones you do selection criteria on, they take more time, but they're probably taking time to look through too? But talking about yourself can be oh so draining- so whenever you get a question on one of these- save what you're saying for later people asking the same question. Have a big scroll of how fantastic you are.
As for a little spice…well, I'm not saying to -lie- buuut dress yourself up. You love stealing an extra candy apple at a festival? 'Quick-witted and a fast-learner specialising in resource management.' Got involved in a black market and crashed the economy? 'Expert financial analyst with an eye for detail and graphic design. Experience in customer service and operating as an intermediary between divisions.'
It's quite the fun and optimistic game, showing off your absolute best and truly being the ultimate gaslighting girlboss charmismatic consultant you can! Know what you're worth, know you are hot stuff even if those pitiful robots don't, and I know you claw and stumble your way into something!
You can do it, just remember: Kon-sult, Kon-spire, Kon-trol!
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shes kind of cringefail but its okay i love her anyway
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new touhous that caught my eye
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