#tsunade hime

[faithbethhyden]

#naruto uzumaki #killer bee #A #tsunade hime #naruto shippuden

[captaindelighte]

#hokage #senju #uzumaki #sarutobi #hatake #namikaze #minato #Naruto #naruto uzumaki #senju tobirama #uzumaki naruto #minato namikaze #namikaze minato #senju tsunade #hime #tsunade #1st hokage #2nd hokage #3rd hokage #4th hokage #5th hokage #6th hokage #7th hokage #konoha #konohagakure #anime #tobirama #tobirama senju #hashirama senju #hashirama

[mixelation]

i went into the itasaku tag and there's a lot of art of them with minato. (if you just went WTF WHY? it's because in the big favorite character poll that happened semi recently, they're the top 3 favorite characters.) anyway obviously i started to go "hmmm could that ship WORK though"

here is what i have so far

itachi and sakura accidentally time travel directly into the middle of the third shinobi war. this forces an unlikely team-up thing for survival.

i think itachi is so committed to his villain bit he would rather fuck himself over royally than team up with sakura. sakura is SLIGHTLY more likely to play nice but still needs dire circumstances as motivation. so maybe: they end up immediately in enemy territory with their konoha headband (sakura) and uchiha eyes (itachi) and become immediate targets. suddenly sakura is like "hey i need you to kill everyone" and instead of doing that itachi coughs up blood. she can point him at enemies though and he'll genjutsu them and that works great. like this

so sakura is like "okay i need your help as a more experienced ninja for my own survival" bc yeah sakura is a badass, but she's never had to go on the run before or fight more than a handful of ninja at once. meanwhile itachi is breathing better than he has in years after one (1) session with sakura and suddenly a temporary team up seems like a great idea. like yes he wants sasuke to kill him but in order for that to happen he needs to live long enough to un-time travel himself.

however. neither of them have any idea what's happening. they get into stupid nerd fights over details of historical events. they cite publications at each other. frequently it turns out both of them are wrong. they also argue over whether or not they should seek help from konoha

sakura: you don't have to TELL the uchiha you murder them all in the future???? just use your fancy eyes to legitimize being an uchiha so they believe us!

itachi: (silent internal emoting)

meanwhile jiraiya has picked up on the most INSANE rumors of a tsunade impersonator smashing forests and mountains and shit. she may or may not have an even worse orochimaru impersonator with her. jiraiya sends minato to investigate.

there's a lot of fanboy debate over if minato could beat itachi in a fight. and for the purposes of this fic, i'm going to say: yes, yes he can. and it's incredibly upsetting for both itachi AND sakura

minato, to sakura, while sitting on itachi: okay so if you ARE an impersonator, your tsunade costume is really bad

sakura: (TERRIFIED SILENT SCREAMING?)

minato: but your jutsu impersonation is pretty spot on.....?

minato: (looks down between his knees at itachi) did you do that with your..... sharingan....... mr. uchiha bastard?

itachi: (has never been more confused in his life. he's never lost a fight this bad. he assumed losing a fight this bad would mean he'd die. he's not confused about being called a bastard though. that just happens.)

then idk. maybe they tell minato they're time travelers and he takes them back to jiraiya. the mood is very "minato is strong and hot and friendly. this is both sakura and itachi's type they didn't know they had. but also. help."

jiraiya: hmmm well, this one's obviously an uchiha, but YOU need to prove you're really tsunade-hime's apprentice. tell me...... what are her measurements

sakura: (pulverizes a boulder with her bare fist) does that answer your question or should i demonstrate on something else ( :

jiraiya: wow it's a mini-tsunade no further questions!!!!

i think i want minato to be in the 18-19 range so it's right around the time of itachi's birth. they decide itachi and sakura shouldn't go to konoha to reduce time travel shenanigans, such as accidentally preventing their own births. it seems like itachi would especially be at risk for butterfly effecting himself

sakura: (thoughtful expression)

itachi: no.

sakura: i don't say anything!

minato: ???? aren't you allies?

sakura: inside joke :) don't worry about it :)

so minato ends up their konoha proxy. he goes and researches un-time traveling them and then shows up and acts.... really charming? like when minato tells you everything will be okay, you believe him. and he's SMART and HANDSOME and once SETTLES AN ARGUMENT OVER WHERE THE RICE COUNTRY CAPITAL, WHICH MOVES ON AVERAGE EVERY THREE MONTHS DURING THE WAR, CURRENTLY IS. he's not even condescending that they're both wrong. itachi keeps thinking about him wrestling him down into submission and he doesn't know why. sakura is rethinking her personal definition of "dreamy"

sakura after minato leaves: this is SO upsetting. he's not even my type. i like dark and brooding.

itachi: what

sakura: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

and theeeen...... maybe they both get so sexually frustrated over minato they have sex with each other, idk don't worry about it

#itasaku #itachi/sakura #itachi/sakura/minato kind of i guess

[katsuyuswritings]

— ᕦ kei ᕤ —

a lonely writer who has a few friends. asking for mutuals, also an employed attorney and has no social life 💗

— MALE — genshin, naruto, saiki k, chainsaw man, stardust destiny (oc)

male; aether, dainslief, kaeya, diluc, albedo, venti, bennett, razor, mika, zhongli, chongyun, xingqiu, xiao, baizhu, tartaglia, itto, gorou, kazuha, heizou, ayato, thoma, alhaitham, kaveh, tighnari, cyno, capitano, dottore, pantalone, scaramouche/wanderer, lyney, neuvillette, freminet, wriosthley

naruto uzumaki/namikaze, sasuke uchiha, kakashi hatake, iruka umino, kotetsu, izumo, asuma sarutobi, sai yamanaka, shikamaru nara, choji akamichi, aburame shino, kiba inuzuka, kankuro, gaara, itachi uchiha, kisame, sasori, deidara, kakuzu, hidan, orochimaru, kabuto, jiraiya, minato namikaze, neji hyuga, zetsu, zabuza, haku yuki, suigetsu, juuga, maito gai, boruto uzumaki, mitsuki

saiki kusuo, kaidou shun, aren kuboyasu, toritsuka reita, nendou riki, hairo kineshi, makoto teruhashi

denji, aki, angel devil, shark devil (that's literally all)

aifuyo hime/yuzuki, renyue yuzuki, kōhaku hayashi, eijiro yuzuki, aoi hime, anh hyu, eugene hyu, feng xiang

— FEMALE — genshin, naruto, saiki k, chainsaw man, stardust destiny (oc)

female: amber, fischl, noelle, mona, jean, lisa, eula, klee, barbara, xiangling, xinyan, yunjin, ganyu, keqing, shenhe, ningguang, beidou, qiqi, yaoyao, kuki, kujou sara, yae miko, raiden ei/shogun, raiden makoto, kokomi, ayaka, sayu, yoimiya, faruzan, layla, nilou, dori, dehya, candace, dunyarzad, focalors, navia, lynette, yuelin, tsaritsa, la signora, sandrone, arlecchino, columbina, raiden makoto

sakura haruno/uchiha, hinata hyuga/uzumaki, karin uzumaki, konan, kurenai sarutobi, hanabi hyuga, ino yamanaka, tsunade senju, temari nara, tenten, anko mitarashi, kushina uzumaki/namikaze, guren (mommy), himawari uzumaki, sarada uchiha

kokomi teruhashi, chiyo yumehara/teruhashi, kuriko/kusuko saiki, aiura mikoto, rifuta imu, mera chisato

power, makima, yuro, himeno

katsuyu yuzuki/hime, chiyo hime, shinkkami ayakemi-sanjin (teiko), kohari hayashi, mina noshiro, maikka yue, yan xiang

— ᕤ can request ᕦ —

smut, suggestive, angst and fluff

aged up characters smut/suggestive

child!reader x parent!character or vise versa

song related storyline

ships and oc x reader

— ᕦ can't request ᕤ —

minor character smut

oc x canon (I have my reasons)

weird shit like armpit kink and others (I don't wanna name them 😨)

Also I know most of y'all are minors... You can't hide from me

[liss-art]

There are arts as old as hell. This one is from 2007 (maaaaa). I still love it so very much >< Happy Valentine, Tsunade-hime

#naruto #tsunade #orochimaru #oldschool #my art #by Liss ART

[waffliesinyoface]

"So~. I have just heard an incredible rumor, Tsunade-hime."

Tsunade looks up from her desk at the source of her interruption. Orochimaru is, once again, sitting in her office. Despite the fact that he is not actually allowed to be in her office, or even Konoha period.

He had been sitting in her office for the past 26 minutes, gloriously smug, clearly waiting for her to react. But Tsunade was one of the very few people alive who had known Orochimaru when he was a bratty twelve-year-old, and knew, better than anyone else, that the only way to win against Orochimaru was to ignore him.

She'd also neglected to throw him out because it served as an effective deterrent against people trying to bother her with paperwork on her lunchbreak.

"Oh?"

"Yes~! You see, I happened to stop by Hatake's office on the way here, and Naruto, it seems, has somehow reacquired a new arm~."

She knew exactly where this was going and she would not give him the satisfaction of facepalming. It was beneath her.

"And, well, as someone who, in the past, had been rather unceremoniously denied your own services in that regard, I couldn't help but wonder how, exactly, he'd come by such a miraculous replacement. Not a hint of chakra strings controlling it! Absolutely marvelous work, really."

She would not give him the satisfaction.

"So, I took a look in your records - oh, the security seals might need replacing, by the way - and what do I find but Miss Sakura Haruno's studies on adapting hashirama-cells to create prosthetic limbs!"

She changed her mind, this was worse than chuunin attempting to foist Hatake's paperwork onto her when they couldn't find him, despite her being retired.

"Really, how the times have changed~. When she does it, it's a medical miracle, but when I do it, it's 'a violation of human rights' and 'a crime against nature' and 'morally reprehensible'."

Incomparably worse.

"Tsk tsk, Tsunade, letting something so heinous happen under your watch. In Konoha General Hospital, no less! Not even a hint of a back-alley lab or anything! Using your own grandfather's useful corpse like that, what would sensei say~?"

"You...!" She growled, ripped a chunk off the corner of her desk, and threw it at him, causing it to pass harmlessly through where his head had been and knock a whole in the wall behind him.

"Would it kill you to go bother Sensei with this shit for once?!"

"And now you're just giving me permission to use forbidden jutsu? Tsunade, dear, you'll get a reputation for nepotism at this point! But I'll keep it in mind~."

She decided that she needed a new desk anyways, and threw a second, larger chunk at him, which proceeded to knock the door off it's hinges.

"Oh, dear, look at the time! I really must be going. We really need to do this more often, Tsunade-hime~."

As he slithered off into the hallway, past the terrified group of med-nin and one chuunin with a binder who had been waiting for her, he called over his shoulder - "Sorry about the desk, by the way. It looked expensive! Did Tenzou make that for you~?"

#naruto #fanfiction #orochimaru is not mad about it but he IS interested in causing Maximum Psychic Damage #dont ask what motivated me to just randomly write and post this one-shot i went into a fugue state

[scarecrow-in-a-hatake]

Oh my, what a dutiful young man! I don’t know much about the shinobi world, but I sure am glad our village is in your capable hands!

Tsunade-hime was a wonderful young leader too, but you strike me as exactly who we need now that we have this hard earned peace!

Thank you for the help, young Hokage! A lovely afternoon to you!

Maa, you're too kind, Oba-san. I'll be sure to do my best.

#“a wonderful young leader” #oh sage #she's going to be ecstatic when I tell her about this #in the spring days || other faces #anonymous #blank period #naruto rp #senju tsunade / retiredsenju

[phlebaswrites]

Healing Hands

Summary:

Sakura is a healer.

(A healer with a dream.)

Rating: Mature Fandom: Naruto Relationship: Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino Word Count: approximately 7K (Complete and posts one chapter daily)

Sakura looks at her reflection, at the purple diamond that decorates her forehead.

There's a reason she wears her hitai-ate differently to most shinobi, and it isn't only because she needs to keep hair away from her face.

No, it's because of this.

Because she needs to see it.

Such a deceptive mark, so simple for something so complex, that seal was inscribed onto her skin by Rin-sensei when she first became a healer, as is the tradition of all Mito-hime's students. Passed down in an unbroken chain of healers and fighters - often both - it's the legacy of a woman whose knowledge they all carry, a seal that marks them all as members of the same family.

Even if they never choose to fill it.

Even if they lead lives that won't let them fill it.

Sakura has filled it.

She's poured her own chakra into it, drop by precious drop, and watched it darken with each day that passes until it's now the same shade as Tsunade-shishō's.

Which means that she's ready.

Read the rest on AO3.

#Phlebas Writes #Naruto #fanfiction #Story: Healing Hands #Series: Courting Culture Confusion #Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino #Haruno Sakura #Yamanaka Ino #Tenten #Tsunade #Orochimaru #Uchiha Sasuke #Uzumaki Naruto #Ivan Pavlov (Historical RPF) #Vsevolod Pavlov (Historical RPF) #Yamanaka Inojin #Yamanaka Inori (OC) #Sai #Hōzuki Suigetsu #Nohara Rin #Karin #Konan #okay to reblog

[bladedhunter]

Dear Jiraiya, we all know that you're a lover and that you've got a "to do" list of people you want to... eh, do. You're great. But for Sinday, please name your top five of people who you want to punch in the face. Love, Lady.

Jiraiya raises an eyebrow. "Punch in the face?" A hand goes to his chin. "I've never thought about that, it's more Tsunade-hime's style," he says with a chuckle. There's a pause, then finally he says, "The only person I can think of is Danzo. He deserves a good punch in the face."

#c: jiraiya #f: naruto #f: anime #uchihacollector

[theshiki]

La hermosa Tsunade Hime

#Senju Tsunade

[mixelation]

wait hold on. i figured out the best* way to deal with jiraiya subconsciously writing his teammates fucking in reborn au

*best, as always, means funniest

okay, so. tori is trying very hard to go back to her old fannish ways wrt icha icha. the PROBLEM is that she's "too young" for it. kushina sees no problem with a young girl exploring her sexuality via dumb novels and loans her copies, but basically everyone else gets super fucking weird when she tries talking about it to them.

tori: hey did you see the new fan comic strip in-- (KAKASHI SLAMS HIS HAND OVER HER MOUTH)

kakashi: (nervous laughter) why does a kid know about that???

the konoha fanclub won't let her in. she's tried a henge a few times but there's enough ninja in the club she gets caught. she has to do a lot of convincing and sweet talk to buy fanzines or her own copies of the books. she meets jiraiya and even he is like ".....why don't you look me up again when you turn 18" and then kushina attempts to murder him

so she turns to OTHER franchises to look at. rpf. bad tv. itachi's library of completely stupid paperbacks. in fact, i realized this Solution because i was looking through old posts and one was talking about a book series about a kunoichi turned into a cat and then adopted by the missing-nin she was assigned to murder, which for some reason i named "kitty girl stabby ninja." it's PG-13 rather than E, so tori reads the first book of what is allegedly itachi's favorite series and then attempt to talk to him about it, and he's............ bad at it. like he's just bad. at conversation??

not to be deterred, tori is like "okay, fine, THIS is my fandom now and i'm going to start a book club" and itachi is just of like "okay?" and she goes to deidara first and then kakashi and then some random icha icha fan club people she barely knows because she doesn't have real friends. all of them are like "that sounds completely stupid" and she's like THAT'S THE POINT. then the whole idea gets completely out of her control because kushina finds out and wants to join as a team thing and tori is like NO, NO COMMANDING OFFICERS AT THE FUN SOCIAL EVENT-- but somehow they end up at kushina's house and so the goddamn hokage is also there. smiling. with snacks. the two normal people tori tried to pull from her failed forays into the icha icha fandom bail because would you willingly go talk to your hokage about a stupid as fuck romance novel for teenagers? while other famous ninja like kakashi and itachi* are there, judging???

*don't try to explain to them uchiha itachi is the source of the club or that kakashi likes icha icha for the romance and not the raunchy parts and barely needed convincing to read the catgirl romance book, it will confuse them

toward the end of the inaugural meeting deidara asks tori if people still hate her fics and minato is like "if you want writing tips, i can invite jiraiya to the next one :)" and tori is going to kill both of them. yes, even the hokage. maybe ESPECIALLY the hokage. she doesn't even really LIKE stupid kitty girl stabby ninja she just wants to do fun fandom stuff okay!!!!

jiraiya shows up at the next meeting anyway because he wants to "scope out the competition" and he makes a very dramatic speech analyzing why ninja romances appeal to civilians and how he's very cleverly using his spy skills to infiltrate civilian spaces and figure them out psychologically--

itachi, sounding genuinely confused: i thought all your plots and characterizations were just projections of your complicated relationship with Tsunade-hime and Orochimaru

Jiraiya: (SHOT DEAD)

jiraiya has to leave immediately to go rethink his entire life and maybe drink himself to death, but tori is touched itachi apparently listened to her at some point u_u

#reborn au

[electrasev5nwrites]

Ninja Daily: Vapors 58

In her now blissfully-empty office, Tsunade finally let herself scratch her side. Somehow, she only ever seemed to feel an itch when it would compromise her dignity to scratch.

"Maybe I'm just allergic to work," she mused.

As the door opened again without so much as a knock, she rolled her eyes in irritation. This sort of riffraff was exactly why she needed Sasuke and Shizune around to act as bouncers. "Just come on in," she drawled ironically. It wasn't like she was going to have much time to herself anyway. Aiko probably wouldn't be gone more than five or ten minutes. That'd provide an excuse for her to toss out the idiot currently in her office.

Suddenly, she was metaphorically patting herself on the back for allowing the girl to Hiraishin to Suna. Unfortunately, even when her mind was in Suna, Tsunade's body was in her office being leered at by an irritating old pervert.

"My pleasure, hime." Jiraiya gave her a sleazy grin. He strode up to sit down in front of her desk, propping his feet up onto the wood.

'Barbarian,' Tsunade thought mutinously. 'That is mahogany.'

Never mind that she went through a desk a month. She was allowed to punch her own things.

"What do you want," she said instead. Giving him the reaction only made things worse. Granted, he was depressingly skilled at riling her up, but she didn't need to play into his hands.

The idiot leered at her. "Well, if you must know…"

"Please cut the crap," she sighed, rubbing at her migraine.

He straightened up a bit. Jiraiya was playful, but he usually didn't poke too much when she actually wasn't in the mood to handle it. "Can't I just stop by to say hello to the most beautiful woman in the world?"

Involuntarily, she huffed in amusement and had to roll her eyes to counteract the little smile tugging at her lips. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Is that a no?" he asked innocently, blinking up at her.

'Ooh, that's a dirty trick,' she noted. 'I think he learned that expression from Naruto.'

But Naruto was much cuter. Speaking of whom… "Have you finally come to report? Don't think I've missed that you and Naruto passed the gates this morning." She gave him a faux-irritated glare.

"Well, I would have," he began awkwardly. One hand trailed up to scratch at the back of his neck. "But we got waylaid, you see." He grinned. "By some beautiful girls! I did my best to fight them off, but there were just too many, and they were too determined-" He trailed off sheepishly at the disbelieving look she was giving him. "Oh, alright," he grumped. Jiraiya crossed his arms, slouched, and pouted in a way that was most unbecoming for a full-grown man."Naruto ran into his sister and some blonde at the gate…" He gave her a mischievous grin. "The other little girl, Ino or something, invited him on a date. The brat misunderstood and dragged her off for ramen."

Tsunade giggled. "Somehow, that sounds exactly like Naruto." She pushed her lower lip out thoughtfully, worrying the inside between two teeth. "Ino, huh? You mean the Yamanaka girl?"

"I'd believe that," Jiraiya agreed easily. "She had that look about her." He shook his head like a wild dog. "In any case, I did have something more serious about Naruto. I already told Hatake because I ran into him about a minute after Naruto flounced off." He sucked in a deep breath as if considering how to phrase this delicately. But then again, he was Jiraiya, so he gave up on that and was just blunt instead. "I couldn't get him to master the Nine Tail's chakra. If he tries to use too much he loses control to the fox, and attacks anyone he can reach. He came very close to killing me."

Tsunade winced. "And how did he take that?"

Jiraiya gave an awkward laugh. "Well, you see…" At her stern look, he just bit the bullet. "He doesn't know. Naruto doesn't remember what happens when he loses control, and I didn't want him to know. You know how he is. I've told him that it's very dangerous and that he can't use it, but I'm not certain he's taking me seriously." He shrugged helplessly.

She groaned. 'Well, that sucks.' But that thought wasn't productive. So instead she just said, "We will just have to be careful, then. I assume that's why you told Hatake?"

"Yepp," Jiraiya nodded solemnly, wishing this awkward part of the conversation was over. And then he realized he had the power to do that. "By the way," he started seriously, stroking at his chin. "Just how long has Aiko had that crush on Hatake?"

Tsunade blinked, startled. "She told you that?"

'I didn't realize they were that close,' she marveled. 'Maybe I underestimated the pervert's abilities as a godfather after all.'

"Ah, no. But it was obvious to a guy like me!" He gave her a thumbs-up and a cheesy grin. Inwardly, his mind was working at top pace. Tsunade had all but confirmed it. Still… he should be certain, since he was thinking about using that information. "So how did you know? Saw the way she can't take her eyes off him?"

With a snort, Tsunade shook her head. She'd never noticed that, but then she never saw the two of them together outside of the professional setting of her office. "No…" She bravely resisted letting her lips curl into a smile by forcing them to still. They trembled anyways. "She came in here very seriously and told me she wanted to dissolve the apprenticeship because she had an 'inappropriate fondness' for him that was making it hard to work."

There was a moment of silence.

Then both Sannin started snickering. Jiraiya thumped a fist against his thigh, bent double from the force of laughing. "Oh Kami, I can just picture it."

Tsunade nodded solemnly, wheezing a bit. "And then she just broke down into tears, and it was so hard not to let her know I was laughing. Poor sweet thing." She sniffled, wiping a tear away.

"What a pair," Jiraiya snickered.

"It's apparently hard to be a socially awkward genius in love with another one," she agreed. "Still, it was adorable."

"It is, it is." Jiraiya looked contemplative for a moment.

It actually was pretty cute. The Hatake kid wasn't the worst person for his adorable little goddaughter to have a crush on. He had excellent literary tastes and class, had never been known to disrespect a girl, and Minato would have approved. He'd really liked Kakashi-kun even when he'd been just a wee grumpy little thing. (Emphasis on grumpy, even though he'd been equally tiny).

Jiraiya mulled over that last thought. "You know, the more I think about it, the more I like it," he mused. 'In a couple of years… It could work. And in the short term, encouraging the crush could keep her from finding trouble with the wrong sorts of boys.' He grimaced, as someone who had most definitely been one of the 'wrong sort' of boy. It was hypocritical, but there were worse things.

Aside from it having some worth as a real idea to shelve, it had an immediate application. More relevantly to the current conversation, Tsunade would hate the idea. She had strange hang-ups about age, to the point where she hadn't allowed herself to.

Tsunade blinked, then quirked her head. "What are you talking about, pervert?"

"They're cute together!" He sent his old teammate a gigantic grin and leapt up onto her desk. "Just think about it! I would be remiss in my duties as a godfather if I didn't provide Aiko-chan with assistance as well, now that Naruto is benefitting from years under my excellent tutelage!"

She stared blankly.

He was really on a roll now, though. "He even has the fatherly stamp of approval! Minato always liked the twerp."

"Oh god," Tsunade muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Oh, god."

"Just think, now that she's blossomed into a beautiful young woman, all the young men will be after her. How better to keep her away from all the wrong ones then to set her up with one I know will treat her right?"

"You're insane," Tsunade said flatly. "And anyways, I don't think she's the delicate flower you're picturing. Go away."

"But Tsunade-hiiime," he whined. "Just think of what beautiful children they would have."

She blanched. "They would have the weirdest hair in the Elemental Countries," she deadpanned. Her tone would have been sharper if she wasn't preoccupied with terrifying visions of Uzumakis sassing her en masse, never showing up on time and using Hiraishin to run ANBU patrols with minimum effort.

'Actually, that last part wouldn't be so bad', she mused. Her own personal army all equipped with the flying thunder god and chidori… Then she shook her head. 'No. That's crazy talk.'

"You never know, they could inherit his hair color and her hair texture," Jiraiya said doubtfully, clearly picturing the opposite. Then he shrugged. "Well, it's just a funny thought. I liked it."

Tsunade threw her stapler at him. "It's a bit of an age difference, don't you think?"

He shrugged, tossing the metal implement from hand to hand. "It's not so bad. What does a decade matter between two adults? After all, she must be an adult if you've put her in ANBU to ferret out traitors." He gave his old teammate a guileless smile. The last bit of amusement slid off her face, but Jiraiya kept pushing. "You would never be so inconsistent as to claim she was an adult one moment and child when it's convenient, would you?"

'So that's what this is about,' she groaned. "Who even told you she was ANBU?" Tsunade demanded crossly.

Jiraiya wiggled his fingers ominously into her face, forcing her to blink and jerk her face back. "I just know everything. Spooky, huh? But… I'm right, aren't I? That's why you put her in there." He shrugged. "You know, I might feel better about having a talented kid in need of guidance in ANBU if the reason is important enough and she has enough support…"

Tsunade twitched. He was fishing for information. That bastard. He'd used the lulling qualities of his general idiocy to force her into a rhetorical corner. Either her best chance at getting someone on the inside of Danzo's organization was a child and should be in a much less dangerous position, or she was an adult and it was none of Jiraiya's business what she did with her professional life… But also none of Tsunade's business if the cretin insisted on trying to pair them up. That wouldn't help the poor girl any- who wanted to be outright shot down?

'He can't possibly think I'll give this chance up,' she thought critically. 'Maybe it's a long-shot hope, or just a way to punish me for putting Minato's kid in such a dangerous situation by being irritating with my tentative blessing.'

Well. There was nothing for it. "You're right, of course," she drawled testily. "Aiko is an adult."

"Great," Jiraiya uttered through a fake smile, voice hinting at irritation. "Then you won't mind if I use my formidable abilities as the master of all things romantic to dramatically increase the likelihood of two of your favorite shinobi reproducing more people exactly like them."

"Not at all," she forced out through gritted teeth. "I'm so glad we had this conversation."

'Now would be an excellent time for a plan.'

"I could easily defeat him if he were in reach of my sand," Gaara muttered as if thinking aloud. Aiko blinked.

"Ask and ye shall receive," she mumbled.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," she said mildly. "Just a moment."

Gaara was right. He could smash Deidara like a pancake if he were in reach. Aiko was in the opposite position—Deidara would be a hard fight for her, but she could reach him if she were intelligent about it.

She didn't want to actually fight him. He was legitimately an S class shinobi and had been for years. She, on the other hand, had a solid skill set inflated by a few very impressive gimmicks. Hiraishin was a useful tool, but the fact that it gave her the capacity for perfect speed didn't mean she had the reaction time to reliably keep up with S class shinobi especially in such an unfavorable environment. Whenever she wasn't using it in combat, her speed was mid to high Jounin level. If Deidara had survived Akatsuki (and as a bomber no less) he must have very fast reflexes. Why risk it when Gaara was here and perfectly equipped to Sand coffin the living hell out of that asshat?

The plan that she formed was obvious and simple.

Step one: Get on bird.

Step Two: Get boy off bird, so Gaara can clean up his own damn house.

Step Three: Get very, very inebriated, so she didn't have to remember just how stupidly risky this short plan was.

That second part might be harder than it sounded. It would be stupid to assume she was physically stronger than Deidara without any supporting evidence. It could well be that she wouldn't be able to push him off. If she had momentum, or caught him off guard, it might be a different situation entirely. But without knowing exactly where she would end up in position relative to him, she couldn't well use Hiraishin at a sprint to gather momentum. She might end up soaring gracefully over the top of the bird or hell, even smacking into it face-first. It was tricky to orient around a kunai that was moving, especially at different elevations.

Still, Aiko was almost tempted to just throw a kunai up and flash to it immediately, but there were several possible fatal problems with that. One, her landings were terribly inconsistent. She could end up in the air next to the bird blinking stupidly like a roadrunner cartoon. If she was careful she could land safely, but that would ruin the element of surprise. The other unpleasant possibility would be that he'd explode the kunai immediately because he was an explosive happy lunatic and she would materialize in the middle of it. That would be an ignominious end.

'Well, I do have two kunai,' she reasoned. 'If I count Gaara's, anyway. I can toss one and see what he does. If he catches it I can go to it and be relatively certain that I'll at least land on the damn bird. If he doesn't, I can be somewhat certain it would be safe to try going to a moving kunai and risking giving up the element of surprise. It'd be better than nothing.'

For a few minutes she just tried to get a sense of timing—seeing where Gaara's shield of sand opened up and weakened when there were explosions, and what kind of targets Deidara was taking. She swallowed a bit nervously. "Hey, can you open up a hole above us for a minute?"

"Are you certain?" Even in his distracted state, he managed to sound dubious.

She didn't hold it against him. She was feeling pretty dubious herself and generally liked not having bombs fall on her head. "It should only take a second," she assured him in lieu of an answer just as he forced open a crack above them. "Oh, and one more thing. Be ready to catch."

He couldn't let Deidara get away, after all. She would try, but she probably couldn't hold onto him and prevent his escape once he realized what was going on.

Before he could ask her to clarify that not-entirely-reassuring statement, she'd flung the Hiraishin-tagged kunai in her hand. In a pin-straight arc of glittering metal, it zinged up, up, up, and slightly to the left of that stupid bird. At least, it was the left from her perspective. It was probably actually the right side.

It was a bit hard to tell from below. Deidara wasn't much of an artist.

"But he is a sucker," she muttered to herself, using a hand to shield her eyes from the sun when the chump above her caught the glittering metal and leaned over his stupid bird to shout something she couldn't entirely understand. "I'll be right back, dude."

Gaara blinked at the space next to his side where there had been a girl but was now only occupied by footprints in sand that he hadn't moved in a few minutes. "Dude?" he asked gingerly.

Her landing was a little jerky when her ass collided with sun-warmed clay and her legs stopped awkwardly a half foot above her hips. Disoriented, she grabbed onto the first thing she saw to stabilize herself. Of course, shirts weren't known for being particularly stable, but the boy attached to it seemed relatively sturdy.

'This is not entirely what I expected,' Aiko thought, blinking up at blue eyes that expressed about as much surprise as she felt. She was awkwardly sprawled on top of him, sitting in between his legs with hers propped over his thighs. Landing on someone's lap… well, it made some sense in the context of the tiny space she had to land on, and he'd been holding his hand above his head which had centered her over his body. This scenario had been one of the reasons she'd never gone to harass Yamato: it didn't seem like something she wanted anyone to remember her doing on accident.

It also entirely scuppered her tentative plan of unbalancing him with a good swift kick in the ass.

'But hey, it'll work.' She grinned at him, not caring that the expression was out of place. Then she latched onto a rather surprised (and surprisingly sun-burnt, he was pink all over his ears and cheeks) nuke-nin like a grabby baby koala and gracelessly threw all of her weight to one side.

Then he proceeded to pound the absolute crap out of her lightning-fast and she was blinking surprisedly up at the sky, winded and disoriented and her body wasn't responding she needed to reorient to land or she was going to hit it and break every bone in her fucking body and hell, this was a stupid way to die so far from home in the fucking desert-

A warm hand under her thighs and one under her back caught her attention about the same time that she detachedly noticed her right leg explode in a shower of fiery meat, splattering cinders and blood up into Gaara's face and chest.

Thankfully, she only stayed conscious for another few minutes.

"Oh, for the love of god," Tsunade snapped crabbily when the door to her office opened for the third time in so many minutes. "This is my office, not a playground."

"What happened with Suna?" Temari asked, standing side-by-side with Naruto and looked just about as worried and antsy at he did.

Tsunade had to take a moment to figure out what the hell she was babbling about.

Of course, Naruto had been silent for as long as he could handle when he was fidgety. "Why didn't Aiko come back," he demanded. "What happened?"

"Oh, right," Tsunade muttered, tucking a loose bit of hair behind her ear. "She never did come back, did she?" The girl had probably just gotten caught up talking to Gaara or hadn't been able to get in to see him immediately. It had been what, an hour? She frequently had longer waiting times. Everything was probably fine, although it was a bit unlike Aiko not to be punctual.

"Why don't you just check?" Sasuke prodded, looking irritated at having been dragged along on this silly crusade over what was probably nothing. "Aiko said you had a way to contact Suna quickly." He gave her a sullen expression that implied he wasn't pleased to have been out of the loop.

"Ah, yes," she said awkwardly. "I do."

Everyone waited.

"Are you going to use it?" the sand kunoichi asked with saccharine politeness.

Tsunade coughed. "I, ah. I don't have it here."

Temari's teeth were visibly gritted. "Where is it, pray tell?"

"In Suna," she admitted. As far as she knew, anyway. Maybe the girl had come back and forgotten to report? Because she was in a hurry or something?

The more she thought about it, the more Tsunade got the sneaking suspicion that something was actually wrong.

"What good does that do?" Naruto asked, sounding honestly baffled. "And what does that have to do with why Aiko never came back?" The Yamanaka girl made a muffled squeak sound that implied she had not been entirely on board with the plan to invade the Hokage's office en masse.

"It'll come back on its own," she admitted weakly. That story held together, right?

"You're not making any sense," Sasuke interjected sulkily. "Has senility finally caught up with you?"

"No," she snapped. "Look- just… Give me a moment to think." She furrowed her brow in consideration for a second. There was a way to check if Aiko was just messing around or if something had actually gone wrong. She didn't want to jump the gun and send off a rescue party if Aiko was just sitting in the Kazekage's office reading an old magazine. But she didn't have what she'd need to check.

"Get Hatake in here. Tell him it is time-sensitive."

The group looked at her stupidly. "I'm going to check on the situation, and I need something only he can do," she explained as if to idiots.

It wasn't fair to them at all, really. They had no reason to know about the Hiraishin, so they were hardly stupid for not making the connection. Once they'd filed out, she signaled the hidden ANBU to come out. "Bring me Hatake," she sighed. "Don't let him jerk you around. It's very serious."

The kids were almost certainly going to fail. Hatake was a sneaky bastard. But hey, it got them out from underfoot.

ANBU Ladybug (and Tsunade reminded herself to have a drink and a laugh about letting that sweet idiot repaint all the masks) brought him back in nine minutes. She knew, because she was glancing at the clock and half-expecting yet another interloper. Hatake didn't seem particularly impressed by being dragged to her office like a naughty child, but she spoke over him.

"I need you to activate the Hiraishin tag in your possession."

His one good eye widened, and he wordlessly pulled it out and complied. She held up a hand to silence him and just waited. An entire minute passed before she gave up hope.

"Well, fuck," she grumbled. "I suppose that does mean that something is wrong."

Aiko should have felt that immediately. The only reasons she wouldn't respond to an emergency signal were if she were already in a fight she couldn't leave or if she were physically incapable of sensing it and responding. Neither possibility bode well. At that point, the girl had been gone for nearly two hours.

"Hokage-sama?"

"Get your idiot team," she said in lieu of an answer. "You can have Naruto, Yamato, and Sasuke. You'll be escorting Sabaku no Temari back to Suna and investigating why Uzumaki Aiko is late to report."

She hadn't seen him move that fast in years, barring when he was hiding from that angry paperwork Chuunin.

'I should have known that idiot couldn't be trusted to do anything remotely important.' Sasori scowled, watching the position of the sun gradually move. He had waited hours after the explosions had stopped to give up on the moron. It had been over twenty-four hours since he'd reached their rendezvous point a few hours after that. Their agreed upon 30 hours time limit until one should assume the other was dead had gone by, and he was now certain that the inept hack he had been saddled with would not be returning. Sasori wasn't entirely sorry.

At this point, it might be wisest to retreat and gain reinforcements to try to retrieve his target later. But he hated waiting.

"Dying was probably the speediest thing that idiot ever did," he droned to no one.

He had to make a decision. Pein would be waiting for him to report in and request assistance with the extraction. Pein was cautious. He wouldn't risk showing his face via a projection until he knew Sasori was alone. He could call Pein and report the mission a failure, or try to acquire back up. Itachi and Kisame should be within a hundred miles- it hadn't been that long since he'd convinced them to donate their likeness to his puppets to serve as a delaying force if it was needed. But he didn't want to have to. Itachi would delay as he always did, eternally eager to put off the next mission. What a lazy boy he was.

He could easily infiltrate Suna to gain more information before he made a decision. He had set Deidara against the Kazekage for a reason: He would be a terrible opponent for Sasori in head-on combat. Sand could easily get inside the joints of his best puppets and make them all but useless. No, if he were to fight the Kazekage, it would have to be on grounds of his choosing and with preparation.

Sasori laboriously went through the process of oiling and re-loading his weaponry, killing time until departing to Suna would have him going through the gates at the busiest time of day when few people paid attention.

"Perhaps we were wrong to leap to force," Sasori mused, beginning the trek back to where he would re-enter Suna. Although it rankled and took a stupid amount of concentration, he used an advanced transformation technique to transform the wooden shell of Hiruko into a Suna Jounin he knew was missing from the village.

He'd killed him, after all.

Getting into Suna was piteously easy. Sasori had been using that spy for long enough that aping the fool's mannerisms was child's play. Making small talk was harder. "Did you see what happened?" His chakra construction leaned inward in the way his spy had been accustomed to.

The woman who had verified his identity (and clearly not particularly well at that) scoffed. "Are you kidding? I thought everyone saw. We hadn't even finished the evacuation when some Konoha kunoichi shows up out of nowhere and dragged that creep down. He didn't stand a chance after that."

"Konoha kunoichi?"

That was interesting. Was it one of the useless little medics that simpering, stupid Konoha had leant Suna? Back when he had lived in Suna they would have never stooped to accept such a denigrating 'aid'.

"Yeah," the simpleton agreed, completely oblivious to the fact that it had been a question.

Sasori rolled his eyes, knowing he wouldn't be getting anything more useful out of this interaction. He would check the hospital. It was a good bet that anyone who'd latched onto Deidara would have gotten a face-full of explosives. Surely a concerned citizen could find a little information about the girl who'd saved his hometown.

'I despise infiltration.' Behind his underwhelming guise, Sasori sneered at the idiotic masses clogging the otherwise efficient hospital entranceway. They were waiting to see their no-doubt equally witless friends and family. Deidara must have done something: He'd seen evidence of explosions like craters and dust around town. It was nothing on the scale of his usual destruction, though.

A pity. He could have at least had the decency to provide a better distraction for Sasori to work in.

He used a cloaking genjutsu to completely bypass the civilian secretary at the outer entrance. She would no doubt attempt to turn him away, and wouldn't have shinobi records in any case.

The desk that would have those records was where he remembered it being: cloaked under misdirective genjutsu and located in a room that appeared to just be another hospital room. At least the Suna nin were predictable. As he passed the doorway, he wordlessly set up a much more powerful misdirective illusion of his own.

If the staff had originally been a Chuunin (as had been policy back in the day), that medic had been pulled away to assist with emergency triage. There was no chance that the twitchy little thing behind the desk was anything more than a genin. Her hands were obviously soft, and she lacked muscle definition. Shameful. She blinked tiredly up at him when he entered, looking as if it was a struggle to raise her dusty colored lashes. "How can I help you, sir?"

"I wanted to ask about the Konoha kunoichi involved in the recent incident."

The weary smile she'd plastered on froze on her face. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't release that information. I'll have to ask you to leave now."

Sasori rolled his eyes and dropped his transformation at the exact instant the girl bolted towards the door, easily stopping her with wire around her ankles and pulling her back harshly to meet the floor face-first. She gave a high-pitched scream.

It was probably an attempt to summon more of her useless ilk, but it was a pointless gesture.

"Enough, girl. I do not have the patience for your babble. Were that girl or the Kazekage admitted to the hospital," he fished for information in a stern tone.

It would have been convenient to take the jinchuuriki from a bed if he were already injured and packaged up to go in bandages.

It only took a couple minutes to break the girl. She pathetically blubbered the answers to all his questions. The Kazekage had not reported any injuries, but he had carried a kunoichi in personally. Yes, she'd been treated for severe burns by personnel from her home village. No, she was no longer in the hospital. The Kazekage and his brother had removed her as soon as she was out of surgery the day before. Her orders had been not to share any information about the girl, from the Kazekage himself.

"Acceptable." Sasori dropped the girl to the floor, using Hiruko's tail to sever her spinal cord almost as an afterthought when she struggled to her knees in yet another pitiful attempt to escape and call for help. "Thank you for your assistance, nurse."

The Kazekage must regard this woman as an ally—understandable, if she really had come to his assistance against Deidara. He would be motivated to protect her from his many political enemies. She was probably under the protection of someone the jinchuuriki trusted…. That brother, perhaps. Yes, that was most logical. She would be hidden somewhere relatively close to where the Kazekage was operating so that he could respond quickly if something happened. But not just in some office building. No, she had been severely injured. She would be somewhere with beds, somewhere relatively isolated.

Unless Suna's layout had changed drastically, there was only one place that met all that criteria. The diplomatic suites. The majority of the civilians still hadn't been brought back from their evacuation hidey holes yet. Any important idiots who had been in the building would be gone now.

Sasori idly slipped into the skin of the girl he had left dead in the hospital with another illusion that hid him entirely while he puppeted her corpse. They would probably recognize the girl, and might even think she was carrying a message or medicine for a crucial instant when he made his presence known.

Assuming his information was correct, whoever this girl was had some sort of connection to the Kazekage. The fact that he had personally ensured her safety indicated that. Judging by the drugs prescribed on the clipboard he had found under the desk, she wouldn't be in any state to be offering objections about helping him get the Kazekage out of the city. All he would have to do would be grab the girl and make sure even an incompetent like Deidara would have been able to figure out he was the culprit and track him. Other than that, the Kazekage just had to know he was serious. It shouldn't be too difficult to make the point that not coming meant abandoning the girl to an unpleasant end. He would be unlikely to allow that without at least a cursory attempt at retrieval, if not for personal investment in her survival than because of his alliance with her village.

Fatally poisoning the brother (if he really was still babysitting so long after the girl had been released from the hospital) would be a nice touch. Sasori liked to kill the messenger.

Indeterminate time

'My lips feel like rubber.' Experimentally, Aiko curled her tongue just to see if she could move it. It felt so heavy that it was hard to believe she could. It gave her enough confidence to try something very important.

"Note to self. More plan next time," she managed thickly through the haze of adrenaline and healing chakra. "More better plan."

The medic nin who looked shockingly like Shizune didn't even spare her a chuckle. "Stop moving around, Aiko."

"Funny, you sound like Shizune too," she slurred drunkenly. Then… "Hey, you know my name."

As she frowned thoughtfully, a hand wreathed in green came up to her forehead.

The next thing Aiko knew, she was blinking gummily up at an unfamiliar ceiling. The feeling of strange bedcovers over her was disconcerting, so she immediately moved to fling them off and get up.

She was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She looked at it for a long moment, not sure what it was doing there. It wasn't her hand, was it? No. It was big, and had stupid, rough-looking knuckles. She wrinkled her nose at it, not entirely pleased with having it in her personal space. So she licked it.

It quickly retreated.

"Hey now, don't be stupid." Kankuro grinned tiredly down at her. "I agreed to watch you because I didn't think you'd be doing much. You shouldn't be moving around. That medic pretty much reconstructed your leg and fixed up your rib and lung, but she said you're under bedrest orders for at least a week. And, ah…" He trailed off sheepishly. "And you're on a ton of drugs right now. I'm honestly not certain you can stand up. So, don't make my job hard. I'm beat already. I've gotten like three hours of sleep in the last 40 hours."

"Oh?" she asked tonelessly, still having a hard time remembering what was going on. She was starting to take inventory of her body. She was definitely under some wicked pain medication or sedation, judging by how odd she felt. Made sense from what he'd said.

Kankuro nodded. "Yeah, that asshole on the bird wasn't the only security breach. The other one scarpered off as soon as he went down, though." He gave a barking laugh. "Not much of a team player, I suppose. Gaara's off dealing with bullshit drama about all sorts of problems, but he didn't feel comfortable leaving you alone."

Aiko felt a little green, having remembered what she'd known last when he'd mentioned an asshole on a bird. A hand trailed uncertainly down her torso toward her leg. She'd remembered it exploding for no apparent reason, splattering blood all the way up into Gaara's face when he'd caught her fall. After that, things were a bit foggy.

'Man, I am going to have a wicked scar,' she thought. Granted, her memory was a bit fragmented, but she distinctly remembered looking down and seeing scorched bone. That probably meant nerve damage, didn't it? She'd have to wait until she could see the medic who'd fixed her up. Probably Shizune, if she was still in Suna. That hadn't been an injury most medics would tackle. They might have just pulled a sheet over her and moved on in triage. No, only someone who cared about her personally would have spared the effort to reconstruct her leg when there must have been plenty of other patients more likely to live out the day.

'I should get her the biggest fruit basket. No. A cookie bouquet.'

"Ah, Aiko? You still here?"

"Why am I not in the hospital," she asked distantly. That was where Shizune generally hung out. Her homies were there. Kankuro shrugged.

"Hell if I know. He wouldn't have won that fight nearly as easily if you hadn't been here, even if he won't spill what the hell it was you did to get the bastard within reach." He playfully raised an eyebrow. "Feel like shedding any light on that?"

'That doesn't make sense,' she registered, and wondered for the first time if she wasn't hallucinating. Shizune was highly unlikely to allow a sand nin to walk off with her patient. Not even if he had kitty ears.

She smiled weakly, feeling thick bandages over her lower half where her fingers touched under what felt like a dress or very short kimono. "Maybe later." Then she frowned. "What am I wearing?"

If Aiko craned her head, she could see splotches of lavender. Shapes were a bit hard right now, but she could definitely do colors, because something had happened that made them much more vivid than usual.

Kankuro shrugged. "One of Temari's old outfits," he explained idly. "I don't think she'll mind, given the circumstances. Your ah, shorts were…" He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, they didn't fare well in the explosion."

'I think that means he saw my butt.'

Mortified, Aiko sunk down into the bed and pulled the sheets up over her face. Even if he was just part of a dream—and what a weird dream, why would she see Kankuro of all the people she knew—she didn't want him to see her butt.

"Kill me now," she groaned. She heard the door open and sharp movement from Kankuro—which stopped immediately. He heaved a sigh just as she managed to get her stupid, uncooperative fingers to pull the sheets back down and poked her head out to see a pretty girl in a medic's uniform bashfully creeping into the room.

"Ah, it's you, cute nurse-chan," Kankuro crooned playfully. Aiko rolled her eyes and sank back down into the covers. "Did we forget something, or are you just taking me up on the dinner offer?"

"Not exactly," came a gravelly and very male voice.

'That clinches it,' Aiko thought. 'This is a fever dream.'

The pretty woman who sounded like an asthmatic 90 year old man was quite enough of a hint that her perception was off. When she lunged forward to attack Kankuro with a needle, Aiko just shook her head. "What a cliché," she criticized. "I'm not even scared of needles."

Kankuro turned to give her an incredulous look as he fell to his knees. The medic swiveled to look at her. "Of course you aren't," she agreed in her man voice, stepping on Kankuro as she passed. "Get up, it's time to go."

"No!" Kankuro wheezed, clutching at the spot where he'd gotten his immunization like a big baby. But still, fair was fair.

"Don't you have to give him a bandaid?" Aiko peered over the side of the bed. Her legs weren't cooperating, so she just leaned over and was surprised to land on the ground with a thud.

"I already did," the man-nurse said. "Here, let me help you."

"'Kay."

Aiko shivered when the surprisingly strong nurse picked her up like a sack of flour. Her flesh was cold and uncomfortable to the touch, and she appeared to have one long bloodstain dripping down the back of her uniform. Dream-Kankuro had been right about how hard it was to move: her arms were dangling on the floor because the nurse wasn't very tall, and motor control was difficult. Hearing was hard, too. She might have been imagining that entirely, because she couldn't feel the nurse's chest move at all when she spoke.

It was funny that she hadn't realized that she was in a hospital. In retrospect, it had been stupid to think she was anywhere else. Sick people went to the doctor and she'd been to the doctor.

"That drug I just gave you is one of my own design," nurse said. "You have about three days to figure it out. You'll fail, of course. But in the meantime, give the Kazekage a message. He needs to meet me alone outside city limits after dark, if he wants her released."

Aiko snorted. "I don't think Gaara does drugs," she offered skeptically.

Plus, that was so totally not hospital policy about releasing patients.

Omake

Kankruo fidgeted, studiously looking anywhere but down. Gaara was stock still, but not any happier with the conversation. "You know," Kankuro started, "Lending her some of Temari's clothes seemed like a much better idea before I realized someone had to change her."

Gaara gave a thoughtful, considering 'mm' of agreement.

"I both really want to and want to run away as fast as I can," Kankuro admitted with open honesty. "You'd better do it."

The unconscious girl in the room didn't assert an opinion one way or another.

"No, I really think you are more suited for this task," Gaara instantly rejected.

"As your big brother—"

"As your Kazekage," Gaara countered firmly. Kankuro glared.

"Low blow, man," he muttered rebelliously, glancing uncertainly at the purple dress in his hands and doing his best not to think about it. "Ah…. Well."

He startled when the door opened and the floor nurse poked her head in. "Excuse me, but your friend has been cleared to leave under constant supervision, although I have some instructions to go over with you before discharge."

Kankuro gratefully leapt at her with a grin. She recoiled, but he didn't seem to notice or remember that he was still wearing his ghastly face paint and additional blood on his neck and jaw. "Nurse-chan! I have a mission for you, directly from the Kazekage. Right, Gaara?" he added pleadingly, hoping like hell his brother wouldn't humiliate him like this.

He liked naked girls. Really, he did. But he liked them to be conscious, and he liked them to not be likely to tear him a literal new asshole if they got offended about him seeing them in an indelicate state. Plus he'd feel like an enormous creep if he ogled someone barely recovering from surgery and drugged as all hell. If his hormones really had so few scruples, he didn't want to know.

Gaara looked between the two consideringly, clearly mulling it over. "Fine," he conceded.

His older brother outright sighed with relief. "Miss, our friend here won't be happy about being carried across town or waking up in a backless hospital gown. Could you change her?"

"Oh." She blinked. "That's all? That's no problem."

'and here I thought it was going to be something weird.'

#vapors #uzumaki aiko #electrasev5n #ninja daily #fanfiction #naruto fanfiction

[captnjacksparrow]

Do you know what happened to Senju clan? Why Uchiha is still a big clan pre-Massacre but there's no other notable Senju than Tsunade?

There's actually no mention (in Manga or Databooks) as to what happened to Senju as a Clan. And definitely, they weren't massacred. So, my answer would be to speculate with what we have and then connect the dots.

My best guess is that

In Narutoverse, A Clan is usually classified by their Special Abilities or Secret Jutsus (like Nara clan's) or their Appearance. As far as we've known, Senju clan has none. Not everyone can perform Mokuton no jutsu other than Hashirama which explains why Orochimaru/Madara wanted to obtain that power so badly.

Atleast Uzumaki had some distinguishing features of their Red Hair and vast Chakra potential. Whereas every Senjus we've ever come across have different appearances and abilities. So, the special features that distinguish them from other Clan is not there...

And also, I've never seen Tsunade pronouncing her Senju surname at any point in the Manga. Even other characters addresses her as Tsunade-Sama or Tsunade-Hime (Princess). Only because of the casual mention in Part 1 that she is related to First Hokage, we came to know that she is another Senju during Obito's Flashback (Hashirama's name reveal was from that flashback).

And I've noticed this thing... Tsunade was never addressed as a Senju in any of those Databooks. (Even in the last Databook which was released after the Manga was completed)

The Kanji which was used to describe her is 火影 (五代目 . 綱手)

Meaning, Hokage (Godaime. Tsunade). In both Databook 3 and 4.

Whereas when it comes to Hashirama...

The Kanji which describes him is 火影 (初代 . 柱間)

Meaning, Hokage (Shodai. Senju Hashirama)

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So, I guess, Senju people started to abandon their Surname as years progressed.

Plus, they don't have any distinguishing abilities or facial features.

And they were shown to do intermarriages either to create alliance... like Hashirama married a Uzumaki woman, Mito... Or out of love Tsunade loved a man named Dan who is definitely not a Senju. I know they aren't married but they would've if Dan were alive. So, when it comes to intermarriages, babies born between them might not have given any surnames. Just like Jiraiya. Or they would've preferred to go with their partners' surnames.

This Surname thing has a subtle reference in the Manga...

"Uchiha is just a name, it just refers to our roots and clan... It doesn't mean anything by itself"

And also With the way she has been portrayed, Tsunade never cared about her Surname but she took immense care/pride about the legacy and the dreams that were left behind by her Grandfather.

"What I inherited from the first was not simple strength, but something that continued flowing through the Ages, that's my real strength...

Don't underestimate the Will of Fire"

"But your Feelings and Dream reached this Generation too... And even the Next one... The Will of Fire"

There's this saying from one of my Favourite movie called V for Vendetta.

"Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot... But what of the man? I know his name was Guy Fawkes and I know, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an idea can still change the world."

Like I mentioned earlier, Rather than leaving behind the Proud Surname... Hashirama left behind a dream and a legacy to protect and then he wanted to pass that onto the Next Generation. Same with Tobirama too.

And because of all these factors, Senju clan is kinda dissolved or disbanded by the start of Chapter 1. All of these makes absolute sense as to why Senju clan doesn't exist even during the Pre-Massacre.

#tsunade #hashirama #senju hashirama #hashirama senju

[hinatsusah]

💠 Tsunade Senju 💠

Namekuji-hime 🐌

Hinatsusah

#anime #cosplay #cosplay girls #naruto #cosplay tsunade senju #tsunade cosplay #tsunade senju #hokage

[loveoaths]

@inlife​ asked:   plots please!!

kimimaro & sakura.

do you remember that period of time in the early aughts where kimisaku was a Thing? that’s the bullshit i’m on.

she’s a doctor, he’s ill. i love a dynamic like this for kimimaro, where he needs someone and is forced to open up. sakura is a good person for him to interact with because she’s stubborn, takes no shit, but also is sweet enough to have him coming back for more… eventually. he doesn’t trust a lot of people, but he actually REALLY trusts doctors, so he’s more willing to listen to her than 97% of the population.

they can be in any setting:  kimimaro winds up in konoha against his will and is studied by sakura and tsunade in exchange for room, board, and parole; sakura is kidnapped and taken to otogakure to treat him at orochimaru’s behest;  etcetera. there’s so much along those lines we can play with.

additionally, my take on the kaguya clan aligns them more closely to kaguya-hime’s clan in both ability and worldview, so their aesthetic would be moon and earth, which i’m a sucker for. she is a giver of life, and he is a harbinger of destruction.  just like his otsutsuki blood gives him an affinity for the bijuu and jinchuuriki, i think it would make sense for him to have a natural attraction to mokuton / life-based abilities, and, perhaps, a weakness for them as well.

haku & sakura.

these two have great duo potential.  haku is a field surgeon ( among other things ) and sakura is a combat medic.  haku typically fights at middle to tlong range; sakura is a close range fighter. they both fill a niche for the other and when working together would become a force to be reckoned with. also, they’d just be funny as fuck together, because sakura’s judgmental and haku is a mischief enabler. 

plotwise i don’t have anything majorly specific, but i always imagined haku taking a guiding role with sakura in their konoha-bound verse. it’s clear that genin sakura is woefully underprepared for shinobi life not because of a lack of ability, but because she’s simply not kakashi’s priority. he’s trying to do right by minato’s son and keep an eye on sasuke, and unfortunately sakura is canonically placed on the team to be nothing more than a buffer to keep the boys in line. 

haku, however, would see the very real danger this poses to sakura, and her team.  sakura needs to be taken seriously so she takes being a shinobi seriously.  she has a lot of latent talent that is being ignored because she isn’t from one of the top ten konoha clans. she is fueled by love for her teammates and a natural competitiveness and ambition that haku would foster in her. haku acting as a mentor or older sibling figure to her would help her tremendously, and it would help haku feel more aligned with konoha, and begin the hard work of expanding their social circle.

senjuro & sakura.

senjuro could use some positive reinforcement and kindness. that is all. 

utakata & sakura.

i don’t have a plot here, i just think they can be slug buddies! utakata is lazy and traumatized, sakura is ambitious and also traumatized, but more socially functioning.  also, they’re both brilliant. utakata’s specialty is jutsu creation and analysis and has a cold intellect like tobirama. sakura is warm but just as smart. they’d balance each other out, and destroy armies in the mean time.

#i could go on all day with sakura + my muses because she's such a versatile and good character but i am sleepy so i will abstain #answered. #answered: ooc. #inlife #queue.

[primnroses]

Does Tsunade have raw strength or chakra control strength

The reason I am asking because in chapter 159 when tsunade cracks the ground with her finger jiraiya mentions that tsunade has monstrus strength and we see in detail that she didnt use any chakra lets not mention that she was also drunk and not serious Plus in Narutopedia it says that the first reference of Chakra enhanced strength was in chapter 246 where sakura and naruto team up to get kakashis bells,sakura used that and broke the ground which means that in previous chapters tsunade was indeed only using her strength of muscle! it was also shown that she was pretty strong and punched jiraiya far way even when they were kids and jiraiya mentions so as well

Making it seem she has raw strength

While

"Konoha Thousand Leaves Collection #24

It would seem Tsunade's "outrageous strength" completely ignores the laws of nature!! The challenge to common sense that is her power is due in no small part to her artful chakra control and fine-tuning. To give things a name, by instantly collecting chakra into her fist and fingers, she obtains a power of destruction bodily strength alone cannot achieve.

Caption

-Here's to a painful and bitter end! Such is Tsunade-hime's insane, "Legendary"; power!!

Picture comments

-One finger, and Naruto cannot close in on her. And she can handle Gamabunta's huge dosu*: with absurd ease...?! **

-The kind of might that opens craters into the ground in one blow!!"

Say her strength comes from chakra

Yes, you're referring to this excerpt in particular:

They use examples like this one of Tsunade lifting Gamabunta's sword:

And another one of Hashirama saying Sakura has more strength than Tsunade based on the fact that he must have died when she was a child. It's impossible for Tsunade, as a child, to achieve such a strength to be compared to Sakura's at that stage, deemed to be very superior.

Truth is, Tsunade's power comes from CES, chakra enhanced strength. Just as you mentioned, the second databook literally explains why she is able to crack the ground open, break walls and lift giant swords: it's thanks to collecting chakra into her hands, thanks to her chakra control. This databook was written to explain things happening between chapters 120 to 244, with Tsunade's arc being between chapters 150 to 171.

Jiraiya saying Tsunade punched him strongly is also something Sakura did as a genin. One example is her punching Naruto after he had made fun of Rock Lee in the Forest of Death (chapter 57).

This kind of CES does need to "be seen". Sometimes the anime depicts chakra being concentrated in the fists as blue, but it's not like that. This kind of technique concentrates chakra in one part of the body, either feet like Tsunade's Heavenly Foot of Pain or the fists like Sakura's Cherry Blossom Impact.

According to Sakura's entry in the third databook, CES is kneading chakra and rapidly directing it to the fists, concentrating the chakra there to acquire enhanced strength.

It's a concept that many people have misunderstood.

When that chakra is released all in an instant is for specific jutsu like Cherry Blossom Impact of Heavenly Foot of Pain. In order to land a hit on a target or shatter the ground, that chakra collected in the limbs must be released all at once to become effective and damage the opponent.

Sakura (and Tsunade) build chakra in their limbs which grants them enhanced strength. If they want to strike, they release it all at the same time as their limb touches their target.

Tsunade does not have raw strength because the bases of CES are concentrating chakra in the limbs to achieve greater power, which is possible thanks to her unique chakra control.

Moreover, the databook is explaining the reader why Tsunade is able to acquire this strength: chakra control.

But certainly anon, my friend Hobak has argued with the admins of the wiki and they seem to have a bias. They are willing to write things from novels to praise the power of certain characters but they're unable to write that Sakura (for example since he has complained about her) is the best medic-ninja according to The Last and Konoha Hiden.

#Tsunade #Sakura Haruno #inbox #Naruto