#ugh WHEN when I clean this up

[nyxi-pixie]

thinking abt creatives and self criticism and wondering if the whole capitalism grindset thing is part of why people think the only things they produce that are worthy of praise are things that take Significant time and effort, and thus when you're naturally good at, or enjoy the process of, creating enough that it doesnt feel difficult, you devalue your own creation bc you feel as if it didnt take enough out of you.

anyway. its very difficult to view your own work in an objective way but i can almost guarantee you that a lot of the flaws you find are not going to be obvious to most of your audience.

Your audience is not desperately searching for fault with your work the way you are as its creator.

#you ever see the most jaw dropping art ever and the artist is like #'ugh this was so messy i cant clean up these Super Precise Details so the whole piece kinda sucks but here have it anyway' #and its like babe. i dont even know what those details ur talking abt are. #a lot of the things you notice in the hours you spend with your art are things completely imperceptible to most. #obviously self criticism is necessary for finding the bits you need to improve. but when it moves into degrading yr own work?? #ur doing yourself a disservice<\3

[opens-up-4-nobody]

As a stranger on the internet (so feel free to ignore or tell me I'm out of line) you might just be going through a grieving process. It sucks, a lot, and I don't really have any advice other than it will slowly get better, but it might help simply knowing.

Grief is different for everyone, and looks different for everyone too. But either way I hope you feel better soon <3

It's very possible, I just don't want that to be the answer because then I don't know what to do

#it feels more like im using grief as an excuse to not do anything and i find it really upsetting #i just dont kno what to do. i have a lightning talk to give tomorrow and i cant get anywhere bc when i try to get anything done i just start #crying and everything feels like a mess that i have no motivation to clean up #just everything. why did i decide to do this with my life? why couldnt i have chosen a functional career path? #i dont kno what im doing. i dont kno how im going yo get things together for my committee meeting Friday #or how ill get thru it without crying. i dont even kno what i want. i wanna talk to my dad i guess but ive never told anyone in my family #when im having a hard time and i dont kno how to do that without making him worry #ugh. tomorrow's gonna suck. so does today. i just want the semester to be over. but then i cant escape my project. so idk what i want #i want sleep for 1000 years or at least until all my problems are gone #unrelated

[gazelessmenagerie]

( Love the fact this man is regarded as a walking (weaponized) medical nightmare and learning about what parts of him are abnormal like his body temp. actually running higher, the dual hearts, and then there's the canisters around his home. Like there's so much that could be happening or the effects of his augmentations could be detrimental if not cared for properly/ends up malfunctioning in some way. Considering his livelihood, he probably goes through a lot of maintenance work and being poked/prodded at for things to be checked on and it sure as hell doesn't come cheap. )

#|| Tag: OOC #|| Character Study: { Mauga } #( i love him. i hate him. he needs to stop his entire stupid FACE ) #( but every morsel of goddamn food i get about his character/backstory/anything is like a feast to me. ) #( like what sort of maintence work does he need to do? how is having a higher body temp gonna affect him ) #( and how often does he need to keep it down so he doesn't outright die of gd heatstroke/have bad health effects ) #( cause its not like he can just cool off in the middle of a scrap fight and using his dual hearts ) #( has to put strain on him whether he's aware of it or not. hence frequent check ups ) #( what if his hearts get desynced or he needs to recharge them. how long can he effectively stay in battle ) #( he's a tank of a man obv but he's not gd invincible and I can see him having a bit of fun but also keeping things clean and fast ) #( when he gotta isntead of being a giant ass gremlin. ) #( i just like his stupid ass alot and i hate him. uGH. pls give me more lore on this man Blizz. i beg you )

[orcelito]

Salty bitch in me sooooo satisfied by the fact that I probably make more money than the person who made my life hell last year lmfaooooo

#speculation nation #chatting with a coworker about how they ended up seeing her by chance #and she Asked about me. she seemed so preoccupied with me Specifically it seems! #and she apparently mentioned how shed consider coming back here and im just loke #lmfaoooooo girl im in charge of the hiring now and there is no WAY id hire her back #even without the personal grievances. she just caused some Real problems. like hell id accept her back. #but also she was a total BITCH to me. like really fucking nasty. and yeah maybe im still holding a grudge about it! #im a chill person but when someone makes me cry that hard for that long TWICE #yeah fuckin right id hire you back. keep dreaming. #anyways ive just been hanging out at work and chatting Whoops hfkshfj #my shift ended an hour and a half ago. i really should be going home soon. #the good news is i should be able to secure the lease renewal for only $40 more than the original renewal offer #the bad news is they havent replied since sending that which means its not in writing yet #WHICH MEANS the showing is still on for tomorrow. ugh. #which means i need to clean. blegh. #i guess having the pressure to clean isnt the worst but i really dont wanna lmaooo #at least i do have tomorrow off. i can make it work... #but yea my anxiety is a lot more manageable now. tempered by the satisfaction of being better paid than an old enemy #IT'S KIND OF FUNNY to call her that but she kind of is. it was mostly 1 sided bc she took issue with Me #i was fine being friendly work acquaintances but noooo she had to go and make my life fucking hell for several months #the social atmosphere has changed man. im not letting a snake back in. #im a nice person but i am a Resentful person. if youve wronged me i am never fucking forgetting. #but yeah i make more money than her ❤️ yay ❤️

[jrueships]

looooool lololololol

#sorry im pondering over the thought of diggs/allen afters*x sorry #they have very much opposite actions after doing it #josh loves his naps and his cuddles so he will want to call it an early night night after one handjobbie even #unless hes angry or frustrated. then diggs is gonna be on for a long. aching haul #but stef could go literally 700 rounds in the same night and still try to get up and wobble around the house doing whatever #his strange mind is set to #even with *** still dripping out his *** #obvs hes gonna clean it soon or just lick some of it off like hes a dirty h*e but hes not a dirty h*e u know #but when u have to make sure the singleperson chair is tilted just enough to capture ur good angle when u lay down like a cat in it #u have to make sure t(im not rewriting all that. i forgor) #u know!! #and ok maybe some of the wandering stems from diggs hating to display uncontrollable neediness/beauty in front of the people he cares about #MAYBE HE GETS A LITTLE EMBARRASSED ABT THE WAY HIS THIGHS TREMBLE AND THE MUSCLE JIGGLES THEN TENSES FROM CONSTANT CHANGE #MAYBE HE HATES THAT HE LOVES HOW HE HATES THE WAY HE LOVES WHEN ALLEN'S STUPIDLY BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES ARE OVERTAKEN BY BLACK #FROM HIS PUPILS BLOWING AND HIS LIPS PARTING IN NOTHING BUT ADORATION AND ADMIRATION OVER HIS WR #and the bliss he's been put in OKAY MAYBE ! MAYBE !! #AND MAYBE BY GETTING AWAY FOR A BIT LIKE AN APATHETIC BLACK CAT SLINKING AWAY INTO THE NIGHT HELPS #KEEP STEF FROM COMPLIMENTING JOSH OVERANDOVERANDOVERAND- AGAIN. BCS HES JUST SO. UGHH. AND HE GETS SO. uGh #when stef compliments him and stef LOVES complimenting him bcs stef LOVES speaking the truth and what he says IS the truth #and josh LOVES hearing it and . UGHHH it's so MUSHY it's GROSS!!!!!!!@! grosser than the *** still in his *** #... even grosser than the fact that stef will sometimes hold off on cleaning up while walking away bcs he knows josh #as tired as he is.. will make the bed heave a great strain of spring and coils from the owner's devoted departure #following stef with blankets towels some freshly brewed tea and wrapping him into a big hug #as he breaks the singleperson couch from trying to cuddle like a giant dog that doesnt know it's a giant dog #MAYBE THEYRE GROSS AND SICK AND STUPID AND DOMESTIC OR WHATEVER! AND MAYBE DIGGS HATESLOVESHATESLOVESLOVES IT??? #THATS THEIR BUSINESS !! AND IM UP PONDERIN IT 🗣‼️‼️ SORRY #ted sus #diggs/allen #ted redacted #it's late so ihope noone sees this LOL it's embarrassingfr 😭😭 IHATELOVE

[cloud-somersault]

constellations chapter 3 is SO GOOD idk what the fuck happened there, but go OFF!!!

#i know everyone's in chapter 4 land but 3 is SOO GOOD #bro the stone forest alone....HELP #ugh it was so hard writing wukong's rage form but HOLY SHIT!! reading it after is so hype #do u ever just sit in a pavilion as the rain gently falls...with your ex-husband and mentee....and it's quiet and peaceful but #there's a strong turbulence going on deep inside you :3 #the way wukong always dusts MK off and wipes his tears away and makes sure he's clean faced and ready to go #speaks to how much wukong cares about vanity #i mean he also is expressing comfort and compassion but. he also cares about appearances a lot #but anyway -- do you also ever have a conversation with your ex-husband through eye contact alone? #i think they've done that four times in this fic... #mk the entire journey: every day i get a little more homophobic #HE'S SO TIRED!!!! #MK after talking to wukong and macaque at the inn: yeah haha! i seriously wanna go home now! 🙃 #MK on the phone: DADSY /PLEASE/ COME PICK ME UP!!!! #macaque seeing Wukong's eyes for the first time and actually stopping everything that he was doing #and just looking at wukong and being like “haha...heeyyy what the fuck?? did they do to you??” chef's kiss #wukong and macaque just talking while macaque captures that random man's shadow...please #as they reminisce about how things used to be...how easily they talk to each other when they're not guided by hate #that's the thing it's how easily they fall into step with one another #that's shadowpeach. they'll be off balance or one will be running and the other walking. they'll get distracted or whatever. but #they'll always fall back into step with one another #and that's why they've got to walk with each other. step by step...so they can stop being afraid 😌

[girlwithfish]

what is up w single men who live alone only having like 2 towels

#they never r having multiple sets they can change out #When i lived w my ex i had like 5-6 sets of towels. some were old dingy target towels from when i lived in a dorm #and then like 2 wereh is but like its nice!!!!! theyre not that expensive if u get cheap ones #ugh flashback to when i dated this guy who only had a single towel for his body so whenevr wed shower we had to #tske turns drying off w the singular towel #also did nt have a hand towel.. whatever #Or dish towels😭😭😭😭😭In his kitchen. id always tell him bc hed #ask ME what he shld get for his place whenebe we went to dollar tree nd id bring up dish towels and hes like i do have some theyre just not #clean. and then hed never clean them idk #LOL #IDK #I dont like how men ljve... #tbis is why i need to live alone ngl

[mimsypoo]

lookin at dan makes me wanna drink shitty alcohol it smells like him 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

#i taste cheap cider #god i'm gonna thinkof him when i'm cleaning up beer at work tomorrow UGH

[bittersweetstargazer]

pov txt's album was so good you almost majorly injured yourself listening to it

#background. #cleaning up bc yesterday was easter and we had ppl come over and there are a lot of dishes that I have to clean #I was emptying out the dishwasher to make space #I needed to put a wine glass back in it's spot but said spot is in a high place that's taller than I can reach #so I needed to grab the step ladder #I was listening to the new album and having a great time #so good in fact that I didn't notice that he step ladder was damaged (which it wasn't the day before) #and so I open it up and it's like shaky and fighting me #which should have been my FIRST CLUE bc it doesn't rlly take a lot of effort to open #and it's open and I'm like okay then and I get to the top step (which is the one that's broken) #and I have the wine glass in my hand and I'm reaching up when I feel the step under me start to bend and buckle under my weight #because it was BROKEN. #I realize that is not how step ladders work and very carefully put the glass down on the counter first bc I didn't to break if I fell #and then I placed my hands on the counter and leaned forward so I was holding most of my weight on my arms #and then very carefully stepped down until I reached the floor #my heart was pounding bc I knew anything could have happened had I not noticed in time #and when I checked one of the screws holding the ladder in place had been unscrewed and at first glance #it seemed totally normal but only after inspecting it did I notice the loose screw #my dad said he'd check it out but ugh I still have so much stuff to clean up

[bumpycap]

how do I do the um

the reference picture thing... on ibispaint...

how do i..?

I did it before, I know I did

#bumpyramble #prime time to draw is when sad #so need to do a warm up and then draw more before taking the rest of christmas break #ugh i need to study and clean too #bleh

[neverendingford]

Therapists have two genders:

Professional Asshole and

Well-meaning Incompetent

#color says shit #text post #replying to my therapist is the most frustrating thing in the world. ma'am you think you're building rapport with me? #I hate to tell you but you've been wildly unsuccessful if that's what you think you've been doing here. #stop trying to educate me about my bullshit diagnoses that I already know about from my years on the internet. #like. babygirl I'm over here trying to build up to feeling comfortable enough to talk about the six-layer trauma cake I've got going on #and you're over here showing me a diagram consisting of two concentric circles meant to convey the idea of self versus other #you're very nice and trying to be helpful but I don't want to fucking talk about the girlfriend I want to talk about the issues that matter #girlfriend is an experiment. the other shit is stuff that lives in our fucking soul. shit that made me into the weird person fragment I am #and I had to fight for an hour. therapist kept on scheduling us for half an hour. HALF A FUCKING HOUR HALF AN HOUR ISN'T ENOUGH TIME TO TALK #I had to fight for it and even when she finally scheduled us for an hour she still tried to cut it short #I had to pull up the appointment confirmation to prove I had an hour allotted. like seriously what the fuck. #one of those people who had their own mental struggles and then is like “I want to become a therapist and help other people uwu” #and then is fucking useless and projects their own issues onto someone else and shoves their personal solutions onto you #like someone in r/aita projecting their own shitty relationship onto someone else. some of us are different Daryl #ugh I'm so fucking pissed and I'm not giving up the controller until I get this shit sorted out for now. #r wanted to hop back on this morning in the shower and we had a shouting match but our deal was she takes a week break so I'm keeping it #because too much shit has built up and she's been not doing so hot so I'm gonna get this mess cleaned up before I let her back on. #I bought groceries. I did laundry. I got the car repairs done. I got our bike fixed up. I showered. I did dishes. I'm going to #and I'm going to get even more done tomorrow. maybe then I'll go back to watching over her shoulder and backseat gaming but not for a while. #it feels nice though. like I get to finally stretch my arms and yawn real good. #and btw to answer the question she's always fucking asking. she's not ace in the slightest lmao. I am and the bleed over confuses her. #there. question answered so maybe she can stop asking about it. #I feel like in her push to find herself she kinda pushed me back into the corner. which... ngl that hurts a little. #oh well. you don't need to hear about our lovers' quarrel. I'm going to bed in these cozy fresh bed sheets I just put on the bed.

[lokilysolbitch]

the pixielocks video i was watching: my friends were so kind, they made me feel safe when i was panicking and said i didn't have to do the thing with them even though that meant they had to do it by themselves

me, who's friend repeatedly asked me to do a thing with/for them when i was actively having a full month of Real Bad panic, anxiety so bad i couldn't move for hours at a time, could barely get out of bed to eat once a day, was having health flares, was so so terrified of leaving the house for many reasons but one was monkeypox bc my eczema kept giving me palm size rashes with scabs bc the skin was splitting open everywhere, and that would've made it much easier to get monkeypox, ALSO the thing involved her family who chronically doesn't wear masks, and that friend after asking me to do the thing AGAIN and i communicated all the above, made it about herself and then afterwards STILL asked me AGAIN to do thing and added "we can get boba🥺" and when i said "um. i am still scared to leave the house and also very mentally and physically flaring up plus i don't wanna get sick like i said" she said. and i quote. "well the boba was more for me": is that??? how friends are supposed to be???

#she also never warned me half the time she had ppl over when i'd been asking her to for THREE YEARS #and didn't clean up after herself in the kitchen despite me asking and even giving suggestions to make it easier for like idk a year ish #including like mold in places #which i am afraid of #and still had to be the one to clean it #i had to be the one to deal with quite a few apartment issues bc she'd complain about like the shower clogging and shit #and i was the only one to be like #so do u wanna get stuff at the store for that #and then we'd get it and id be like #okay so #how about #actually using it now #it was always me who ended up doing the work #like i'd do the thing where i'd wait for her to do it #and she just wouldn't #and i had to out of necessity #the shower water would clog up to my ANKLES #but she would hit the occasional *ugh im such a bad friend* #and then #not change #there's more on top of this that was. so so so fucking traumatizing #i'll be talking to therapists for years #but i need to go to bed now and i don't have the time #handmadeorganicpost #oh and let's not forget the time she had to drive me to the er bc my leg was numb ALL DAY and she went #why do bad things always happen to ME :( #like WHAT

[disneyprincessdxminatrix]

Me when my my family only calls or texts when there’s something they need meanwhile I call once a week for no other reason than wanting to chat:

#this is fine #I Tell myself while having nervous ticks cause in fact it’s not fine #I should tell my mum that it makes me sad and angry that I’m always the one to call for chatting and when I don’t do that then she never #calls me for chatting and checking in :( #just received a text excited that she’s second me something but it’s like ‘called grandpa yet?’ #cause he needs something and I should call him #BUT I WORK ALL DAY AND FORGET OKAY I #JUST REALLY DONT HAVE MOTIVATION WHEN I COME HOME AND COOK AND CLEAN AND FHEN IFS 9PM #ugh I’m really bottling shit up here huh #my stuff #so how do I tell this to my mum /gen

[windydrawallday]

This post is to scream IM ALIVE and i keep working at the pacing of a snail. Im almost done with the next entries of Ghost Heart: i took my time with these because they got a tad more detailed and even with backgrounds! Im super eager to finish them AAA

In parallel i… found myself hoarding a bunch of new shippy sketches that started as jokes but ended making me develop a sort of polycule between my fav characters and the file keeps growing with each passing day someonehelpme Im not sure when i will finish these last tho: i love LOVE sketching like this but i know i wont tolerate myself if i just drop them in this unfinished state so BAGH you will need to wait for a tad more to see the full artworks and i need to keep being patient with my current creative process.

#windy squawks #windydrawallday ghost heart #ifellinrobothellagain #work in progress #someone ink my doodles for me pls because i admit thats the part that makes me go UGH each time #i know it makes everything look tiddy and easy on the eyes but is taxing to me #instead painting is always a pleasure! #but when i finish inking/doing the lineart i find myself without energy to paint :') #thats why Ghost Heart is unpainted! #to give me time to recover enough energy and save it for cleaning up sketches #shipping to the moon and back #im not gonna tag each ship shown there because im lazy af #and i prefer to be found when my work looks neat and pretty #but if you found me HI THERE and hope you have a nice weekend #wait WEEKEND ALREADY?!

[starlooove]

I hate when i can like. I can’t even call it thinking but conceptualize shit that I can’t put into words

#something about white teens taking black culture #and call it alt #and white adults hating said culture with a passion #and instead of the appropriation it is it gets called shit like millennials vs gen z or whatever #And the topic of convo #THE BLACK PPL THEYRE STEALING FROM #are never actually recognized #like the girls making vids about their ghetto phases #the buns they styled to emulate tied up box braids and the accents they put on and the nails and the lashes etc #and their parents hating it #and them getting it as they grow and see their little brothers saying rizz gyat and sagging and wearing chains that turn their necks green #And the convo being about how each generation gets ‘worse’ bc they associate or culture with bad things #And the kids act like they’re appreciating or being trendy but it’s not true bc they act a certain way when they copy us #I have no idea how to put it all together coherently but it’s so infuriating #and it’s never ‘it’s so embarrassing that I used black culture as a costume’ #it’s always ‘I can’t believe I was so ghetto and trashy lol’ #like they think we’re trash bc that’s what they act like to copy us #they think we do it for the same reasons they do #ugh #like everyone’s going after that woman who called white culture clean and collected or whatever #but that’s how a lot of y’all think subconsciously #and it shows in our interactions #even if YOU don’t realize it the black people around you do #matter of fact the poc around you do #has anyone noticed that they’re specifically copying black Brits now? #like theyre always on AAVE but after fucking up afrobeats Jamaican culture it feels like they’re collectively going to the black Brits #that could just be me tho idk

[homosociallyyours]

(cw for gun violence & racism mentions in tag post)

#was reading about the kid who got shot for ringing a white man's door bell #and feeling so angry bc i can't help thinking that white cultural demands perfection from black victims #oh a kid got shot? how were his grades? what extracurriculars did he do? #i would be just as sad and angry about this shit if this boy was a high school dropout #i would feel like screaming even if he had been ringing door bells as a prank instead of trying to pick up his siblings #i want to live in a world where children don't get shot #where white people aren't ruled by the irrational fear of black and brown people that's been taught since this country was colonized #and as always I'm sitting here looking at the situation & knowing that my whiteness keeps me at a distance from being like the victim here #as much as it repulses me to think about it-- i know I'm closer to the shooter #so many years of watching this violence unfold again and again is like staring at your guts spilling out of you #viscera and mess and rot all spilling out. #and just when you start to think you've made progress cleaning it up it all explodes out again #ugh. #sorry for the imagery it's just. this kid shouldn't have been shot and neither should trayvon martin or mike brown #or the countless others who have been turned into cardboard cutouts with lists of achievements and names we're supposed to keep saying #over and fucking over #i don't want to say any more names. bc i don't want there to BE anymore. #sorry i just had to get that all out