#wasnt sure what else to call it!!

[obm-avenquire]

as promised (thumbs up) heres a lil uhhhh simple breakdown of how i general do fur things! can be applied to hair in general and also clouds and grass depending on how you work it (thumbs up pt2) feel free to request other tutorials 

#art tutorial #art tips #drawing tips #furry #art #illustration #aventips #as an extra note the textures were referenced from animals people requested from me!! been getting a lot of comments on the curly section #which i get why!! but i was straight up referencing curly haired cows #wasnt sure what else to call it!!

[iknityounot]

I was knitting a sweater during my study hall, and one of my students asked if I was going to wear it when I was done, and I said "I dunno, I've already had to start over once, I might finish it, try it on, not like it and Frog it again"

And with actual disbelief in her eyes she cried "what? No, but it's so crisp!!!"

To which the rest of us said "crisp???"

#i am like 95% sure it wasnt new gen z slang becuase no one else knew what she meant lol #i know she was trying to say it looked good #but noone has ever called my work crispy before lmao #knitting #teaching #teacher #joy knits #text

[samarecharm]

Ryuji is so anxious in the beginning of the game :( hes so caught up in his head during the kamoshida arc; makes me think hes been like that for awhile, at least until u get a bit further in the game. The rumors, the self loathing, the whole stint w kamoshida; hes got too much on his brain and its kinda nice (and a little sad) that he starts sharing those anxieties and doubts the second hes in a safe space to do so.

#chattin #ryuji #hes definitely more relaxed by the madarame arc #like he got friends and a purpose and he just bounced back immediately #but i am thinking of like. the year everything went to shit for him #like it wasnt his fault but also hes the center of all the controversy #and he went from being very popular (im SURE he was; hes called a track STAR) #to being completely alone w failing grades and a broken leg. like he had alot of time to sit and think #and all the stuff w his home life being so disruptive #like despite what the school body will say he does think before he acts #he had a grown man rile him up to make him act; he didnt just go in guns blazin #i dunno where im going w this lol. i just think he gets alot of flak for being loud and annoying #but just like w everyone else; u get to see their real personality when theyre supported and loved #and ryuji is just loud and brash and he loves w his whole heart #just like ann became super vocal and silly about so many things after u help her w shiho #All the thieves are like this. ryuji is a ball of anxiety #but its quieted down when he has real support and purpose in his life again #and its less that hes ‘quiet’ about his worries; if anything hes more vocal about it #but bc hes so vocal about it; u can see the difference between him messaging u every day worrying about kamoshida #to him going w the flow and putting more trust in u and the team #he loves them sm !!!!

[lemoneychicken]

series of doodles i made about jack getting drunk next to his phones

(this was a standalone thing at first)

get cared about dumbass

#dayshift at freddy's #dsaf jack #dsaf jake #dsaf harry #dsaf roger #dsaf phonejack #if youre curious. harry brought jack to their house bc he realized jack doesnt live in cali #and wasnt sure what else to do with him #also IDK SHIP NAMES. but i like calling jack x all his phoneys phonejack. cuz im clever #anywho #twinkie dont look

[dayurno]

#i will warn you only once: tsc spoilers #literally just finished it as i am drafting this its 5am where i live #so you may be subjected to some nonsense #that all being said i have thoughts.and feelings #the kevin was lovely and tasted delicious! jean defending him at every turn even when he swears to hell and back he'll kick his ass #the kevjean was surprising i was only half expecting that #the dog metaphors i have to say i need this one cashed in. nora run me my check #im joking of course dont quote me on it #jean taking kevins promise to the end and living on it is seriously so. well. #'be careful with him' 'take kevin's name out of your ignorant mouth' 'you promised me' #also kevin getting called the court's queen had me tender and on my back oml #jean's relationship with the trojans is sweet and he is very interesting and complicated #a character with many moving parts im sure #there were a few things i did not care for #namely jeremy and the trojans felt remarkably flat to me bar lucas (by far the most interesting) and catalina on occasion #i didnt quite enjoy jeremy's pov and felt like he spent perhaps way too much time worrying over jean? if that makes sense #i wish he had some more complexity to him or really anything to catch a hook on #all we know is hes attractive and smiley and gets along terribly with his family #so much of his character is sucked out by jean he didnt feel like much more than a plot device to me #which i wouldnt mind if jeremy wasnt the literal main character alongside jean #i was living for everything jean thought but had to drag myself through jeremy's pov if im honest #uuuuh what else. neil! funny. deranged. i have to love him #andrew couldnt give less of a fuck about jean which is funny as all fuck #two bugs placed in the same habitat ignoring each other #the thing with elodie i thought was complicated. i wish we knew some more about her or that shed been mentioned a little earlier #but im assuming thats a topic to be revisited #uuuuuuuh yeah so thats most of it. i think my first thought and the one that sticked out the most to me is that the book felt remarkably #pedestrian #not necessarily in a bad way #it lacked to me one of the main appeals of aftg which were the numerous interesting side characters

[vala-dreams]

Y'all ever realize that you're not actually shy and for some reason your whole life everyone called you shy and introverted and your mother berated and compared you to your father for it but you're???? not even shy????????

Like I talk so much to my two friends and I dump information about shit I like or know about to other people and I can refuse to take flyers from people handing them out on the street I literally talk so much,,,,,like I'm not shy why did everyone tell me I'm shy I feel like I would talk to so many more people if everyone hadn't told me I was introverted

#like fr what was all that about #did i just wake up one day and declare im the most introvert to ever introvert and then forget about it??? #why yall so sure???? #i cab talk to cashiers like yeah its a lil awk at first but i get by just fine #i can talk to people i sit next to on the bus #i literally talk so much it might be a bad thing cause i genuinely cannot shit up once i start #idk im just angry i lived my whole life just accepting that im shy and not talking to people and now i cant change and i just sit there #in the corner because that's the place you said was mine and now it looks comfortable to me #or something idk #mental health #being shy #introversion #like does anyone else feel like this i want to know #idk how to explain but i just feel like shyness/introversion wasnt a personality trait i originally had but i stopped talking as much #because people(adults back then i dont think anyone my age ever called me shy back then i was literally so loud)told me i dont talk #and i thought that was me i believed them and that became part of me

[bootyful-seventeen]

i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[the-acid-pear]

Honestly while I adooore the "gaster is corrupting the secret bosses" theory, I have to admit it feels rather... Odd. Mostly because Spamton. I mean, for all we know all the voice in the phone did was help him get cash, what corrupted him was the religious insanity building up from the NEO body. But, actually, thinking of it, it'd make sense for the voice on the phone to make him into a big shot like it did because that was what allowed him to be close to the body on the first place so maybe it was like A Wicked Master Plan. But it still feels weird bc with Jevil they just walked up to him and were like dude guess what? and drove him insane. I guess it's a matter of time, maybe meeting our newer bosses will be able to reveal to us more similarities or more differences.

#luly talks #deltarune #there is one theory I'd assume Jaru proposed bc insane shit like that seems to be his thing but it'd have been some1 else idk #either way theory says the reason why we hear garbage noise isn't bc that's gaster but bc we're trying to call to a different... plane #of existence? #and i guess the reason why the mysterious person stopped answering spamton was bc they exited the DW #(and died since im sure the theory proposed it was Gerson who did this) #which is interesting to say the least #i mean thing w spammy tho is that what fucked him over in his words is the fact that he tried to see beyond or some shit like that #he says it in snowgrave #but unlike jevil who it sounds like he wasnt seeking some higher truth but just doing fuck all spammy sounds more responsible for his demise #but tbf we barely fucking know the details on jevil all we have to go off on is seam #spammy we have him the Addisons the boss fights the sweepstakes and q&a even a swatchling talks of him #Jevil is like. so forgotten even more #spamton #Jevil

[aria0fgold]

I had a dream with a pretty neat (yet messy cuz dreams are like that) story that featured yuri in the scale of "this girl is so in love with her boss but hides it in fear of her boss rejecting her so she's just content to be of service to her" and "the boss not knowing what to do with her own feelings towards the girl and also fearing of being rejected by her just kept calling her as "the best friend I've ever had" instead of being outright with it."

Somehow I ended up as an accidental wingman by disguising myself as the girl and when found out I was like: "Oh yeah and... if you're going to confess, can you actually like-- drop the "friend" thing? You're gonna end up in a deep misunderstanding cuz of that." Cuz during the time I was disguised as that girl, the boss was saying some INSANELY sweet things only to end it with "that's why I love you, as a Friend!"

#aria rants #my dream had like 3 stories mashed together and the one with the yuri was story 2 #the 1st story before that fuels my whump sde tho cuz some guy was horribly hurt #cuz of Something and is struggling to stay awake cuz theres still a mission to do #and that one actually has yaoi instead (guy hurt being actively cared for by another guy) #and then it switched to story 2 with the messy yuri. and it got an interesting setup for it #cuz in that story. its set in a dream (dream within a dream... crazy) which is why i can disguise as anyone #but the problem here is that i Cant disguise as just Anyone cuz the boss has records of everyone nearby #and if the stuff im saying doesnt much with what they know. theyd kick me out and ban me from the dream #but since it was just a disguise. the Me isnt rlly affected by it so i kept going back as someone else #cuz theres like smth in the boss' office that i needed for a mission. and then i just ended up disguising #as the girl. my first disguise ended up in failure cuz the girl was nearby and the boss #found me out immediately cuz of the way i kept addressing her. i kept calling her name ''marianne'' #but during my 2nd time. the girl wasnt around (made sure to disguise as her when she went out) #and turns out she addresses the boss as ''jessica'' for some reason instead of marianne #i managed to get so far until i insisted on seeing the thing i needed and she found out #got kicked out again after saying what i needed to her and then dream 3 started where its just a random mess

[oscill4te]

sending good vibes to mixed race folk who have a very complicated relationship w their heritage or view of themselves, ily

#mentally i call myself a racially ambiguous american #i don't really connect with the word latino idk why.. like i was raised by an immigrant parent but #oddly feel no connection with the culture at all. not out of self prejudice even. i just wasnt close w my mom idk #like sure i know some spanish and have eaten the food but i just feel no connection anymore. i used too. its weird #again i just prefer to call myself slightly brown/ambiguous American or something lol it just feels more accurate #its not self hate i just legit dont connect... i feel like an outsider and thats okay. i think it was due to how i was raised really. #my white side was shitty too but they were more involved in my life so i guess thats why despite being brown-ish #i saw myself as white for 17 yrs of my life til i had a therapist (of color) say something like #“i bet you relate since you are also of color” and i was in shock and confusion like #i told her “uh no im white i dont know what you mean” and it caused some cognitive dissonancee #so i asked a few ppl what they saw me as and it shattered my view that i looked 100% white passing #its like how ducks imprint on who raised them. my white grandma and aunt raised me so i just saw myself as white?? idk #its still a weird feeling and nowadays i dont really like identifying my race or ethnicity to ppl idk #maybe this all sounds weird i dont know #but its how i genuinely feel; unfiltered and all #again i like mexican culture a lot i just often don't feel like its “my roots” it feels more like #im appreciating someone elses culture which makes sense bc i was raised as a gringo!! yk? #its not really “my roots” it's my moms roots but not mine #altho ngl i feel kinship with first/2nd gen latinos... #i think a lot of them have similar feelings like me minus the mix race stuff #well actually many of them r probably mix race too idk i mostly meet 1st gen ppl who have 2 immigrant parents tho #and yesss i know latinos can be any race. i know i. #im just rambling incoherently

[totentnz]

that one gig in dogtown in the dodgy clinic? with the woman just trying to find her brother? the woman that v shot? killed? not because she deserved to die but because v was hired to protect the doctor? the doctor that clearly didnt care for the woman's grief? a kind of grief that v fears the most? one that she understands? help me

#sammy says shit #pl spoilers #listen the whole thing was stinky from the start #and imma be honest with you i wasnt too thourogh with finding out what exactly was going on #which fits because v wouldnt want to know either #sometimes she likes to turn a blind eye to things #and i also like that i fucked up and it stays in my canon #because sometimes you fuck up right #and im pretty sure you only find out that woman was looking for her brother after she's dead #so v is visibly shaking at that point #ears ringing #that stupid doctor is talking about something she doesnt even hear #johnny asks him whats up with her and she doesnt hear him either #goes full on autopilot and walks out of that church #doesnt accept the call from mr hands where he tells her how well she did #or maybe she does accept it #and hearing him praise her is just another knife in her side #bad metaphor but i couldnt think of anything else #man i love it when gigs just fit in so well with my character building #oh right #oc:v

[koheletgirl]

parallels idk

#i mean no one else was gonna do it #so naturally i had to #sorry for friendsposting #taylor swift #🤎 #fun fact i wasnt sure whether this was from chandler in a box or the episode before it. and also i couldn't remember what it was called #so i was like ill just check both but this episode is in fact called the one where chandler crosses the line

[m0e-ru]

losing the idgaf war

#kommento #// playing spltoon flopping at every level and dying yelling TAKE MEEE take my brain and cradle it nicely take me into your care #// successfully fading into obscurity because im not necessarily popular nd slandering my own name further so it's smeared in history books #// and my legacy dies an untimely death if I ever had one and leave nothing behind and this gas station dissappears into the fog #// that I couldn't be the one in people's mouths when they think about this One Guy that I was no competition to anyone else #// in this so-called 'community' that was so hostile and volatile to me because I had standards and I projected too hard for my own good #// not that ive been badgered or hurt or maimed or anything i dont think i would even still be in this hellhole if that ever were the case #// but im in this specific pocket of fndom are full of freaks and i want to appease most of them and make a name for myself #// —ambitious i know— majority of these people ARE freaks and so the people who are popular ARE freak themselves #// so techincally im trying to appeal to three people but i want more when it's technically not possible #// and im a little bitch so i hate the turnout ?? this is why i'll never be satisfied in here but ive been still kicking crying and going #// i wish i wasnt a hater i wish the things i dont want to see werent so physically revolting that my heart sinks and i see red #// i wish it was a more minor thing where im a hater for about 50% of it and i can Easily Dismiss it #// than hatership being a part of my personality #// that I've earned so little and lost so much but everyone and everything that I've loved is so genuine and real and too much #// that the stakes of doing something is so high like it's gambling itself that I'm not too sure I'm satisfied with my time here #// despite all the things I believed were good that's happened already #// that if I leave right now on the fickle decisiveness of the squirrel in my brain there would be things on this figurative bucket list I #// never have accomplished and I'm not too sure I can come back to do it because of my home that looks like war trenches itself #// all this time and love I've put into this world and I'm stubborn and selfish enough to believe I have not received what I am due #// and that this love and dedication was never received by enough people as I perceive #// sorry for being a baby's first but my time here in this pit of hell has been th absolute worst and most horrid of other fndoms I've been #// and while I practice the inherent belief I am the scum of the earth and the worst person alive #// and that I leave the things I love so much behind with wordless and meaningless abandonment #// I've made so much and shared so much that enough of my love was perceived by others and that #// I've at least left myself some things behind even if it has never reached others the way I humbly wished it to #// lmao like I'm writing an overly dramatic resignation letter and I leave it front desk and when I exit the building it #// either completely disappears behind me or keeps standing but stay unmaintained for the duration I'm gone #// people could still come and go or I could make it disappear myself. I think I've done a good job at making it easy to do that #// sorry for being dramatic ? idk how to give closure on this if the time ever comes or if this Is The Closure

[sick-as-a-dog]

×

#wanna know the funniest thing to come from this? #i just realized that during the first relationship i wasnt really in love #or maybe it stopped or it somehow became just traumabonding somewhere along the way idk #but the first breakup wasnt this painful it really wasnt like this at all #sad for sure but nowhere near this amount of agony #but my mate was different i think he was the first i really truly fell in love with #this hurts more than anything else ive been through #all the shit ive been through all the endless abuse i grew up with and was put through all of my life #all the bruises and trauma and scars are nothing compared to the agonizing devistating gaping pain spreading through me rn #i want my mate back i want this to fuckig end i desperately want to die just to escape all of this #the horrible realization that the anxiety and paranoia were fucking right and not just some bpd fuelled worries #that him calling himself aro maybe WAS a warning of this happening after all and i shouldnt have trusted when he said im his exception #the fear that hes going to slowly leave just like the first one did because tbh its unavoidable and understandable #this pain that just wont stop and will never stop because why the hell would it stop im losing my best friend and love of my life #we couldve worked through it if he just didnt give up why did he give up why didnt he want to try literally anything else before this why #he gave up so i probably should too but idk how idk why i cant just fucking give up like he did whats wrong with me #why did this one have to be so much more painful than the previous one even if hes swearing to stay? was everything just lies after all?why

[skylordhorus]

been having Past Gender talk with myself for like 2 hours and my brain is frazzled

#*deep space noises* #im 90% sure ive always been on the spectrum on nonbinary but i cant know that for SURE #because child me didnt have that language available and therefore called herself a girl #because thats what everyone else did and she wasnt a boy either which was the only other option #and i know u wont get anywhere applying current knowledge to ur past self- especially child u #its like. im worrying abt misgendering my young self even tho that is ME #if it upsets you and doesnt feel right calling yourself a cis girl as a young child then thats fine! #thats YOU u lemon not another person #how can u misgender her when she is you now #she identified as a girl for a while but was nonbinary spectrum. add a ‘probably’ if u want #its ok