#well probably bc i have a bunch of work to do

[sharksliveontrains]

I do wonder sometimes whether Kaz did a poor job of teaching Inej lock-picking or if she just couldn’t pick it up as well because they both take the blame in her not having mastered the skill

#like kaz says he did a shotty job of teaching her and then inej says he did his best but she couldnt pick it up so then i go hmm 🤔 #i do think it was probably that kaz didnt have enough of the patience to teach her thoroughly enough but also inej just has a hard time w i #soc #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #dont know why im thinking soc thoughts today but yk #well probably bc i have a bunch of work to do #txt

[moregraceful]

I have posted 64 hrpf works...I should do something when I hit 69 lmao. Like how the y/n girlies do little celebrations when they hit follower counts? A kasper moregraceful celebration of an arbitrary milestone

#the celebration is i leave hrpf fandom lol #and finally know peace in my life #JK WE LIVE DELICIOUSLY #the celebration is i look how i have spent my one wild and precious life #and write some weird fic #who am i kidding yo i am gonna forget and it's going to be like fic abt the oldest man on the planet and a cuda rookie #the celebration is i finish the fic i promised people last year #[staring at the jani/roope fic in the eye so as not to show fear] i am not afraid to keep on living... #i'm posting a lot but today my tasks are a) clean the living room and dining room and b) come up with prompts for 4th line grind fest #and c) do a bunch of work for a fellowship cohort i am facilitating this fall #i don't want to clean and i don't feel creative and i forget why i didn't want to do the other one but it's probably bc i had an anxiety #dream abt it #dude i had an insane dream abt george springer recently and it was like...ok kasper is this is a symptom of something #are you well? like are we good here or- #i mean really what can i say about george springer. he's so [foghorn] #fresno oiler.txt #i feel like there was a point to this post but idk what it was....sorry

[steampoweredskeleton]

Every time I need to cut my hair I get super excited bc I know I'll love it and EVERY TIME right after I cut it I fucking hate it and feel so uncomfortable I have to avoid looking at myself for a bit bc I look suddenly different and something about that makes me feel nauseous until like two days later when I'm used to it and love it again

This time is the WORST ITS EVER BEEN

What the fuck is the deal with that bc it really makes getting my hair cut a fucking trial

#delete later #im having a bunch of sensory issues lately and nausea and its driving me insane #i think im probably just super anxious about my trip but its really annoying #i want to bavk out and not go SO BAD but the good thing is that telling ppl at work means if i dont go it'll look weird #so that is pushing me to go. which is good bc i KNOW I'll enjoy it I KNOW THAT its just thr apprehension #and the risk that i wont enjoy it. #i am excited #im also scared #i hate ny brain #on the fun side the testosterone has made my shoulders broader snd face wider and im looking and sounding more masc #also i feel bad bc i didn't ckean up after hair cutting well enough bc i fekt so off balance and bad that i did it quick and then laid down #so i need to ensure i clean before i check how it looks or do SOMETHING differently #truly living is a task and having to problem solve every facet of life makes it fucking exhausting

[orcelito]

OK WAIT here's a ITNL chapter 14 section that's not really spoilers. just a sweet lil section

after this is where it's more Spoilers. but for now. HERE U go. happy birthday vash & also Uhhhh @ ITNL readers I PROMISE i am working on the chapter. things r just hard lol

#speculation nation #itnl shit #spoilers bc of uhh. Conversation. i wanna keep the conversation a secret for now lol #not bad spoilers it's just better digested as a whole probably #ANYWAYS heres some more vash & kaite bro time. god im gonna miss kaite when we gotta say goodbye to him #but he's still here for now and he gets to watch vash tinker with his (very internally fried) arm #before and after this section is vash inspecting the damages & thinking of what he can do to try to fix it #which i do have a lot written. but im gonna be going thru it for accuracy & also keeping in mind the thing from earlier #the possibility that average operational power of his arm comes from vash himself rather than extra batteries #this is with the assumption that a (relatively) small output of electricity is not smth that would fuck with his lifespan #just a normal expenditure of energy. like moving his flesh muscles. just a constant lil stream of electricity that he gets from eating & w/ #no need to dip into his life reserves for it. bc if he did that would get impractical. #idk im going to think about it more. i really dont Need to figure out how his arm works #but listen. ive built a robot before. im in polytech. i wanna think about wtf his arm actually Is #even if this is coming in the context of all the internal wires being blown & a bunch of shit straight up Melted #his arm is... very very blown... he's gonna be going one-arm for a While still lmao. oh well #i think it's a good thing to remember that he is in fact physically disabled. he can make up for it Especially in a fight #but it still will inconvenience him in a lot of ways. cool biotech arm is cool but also it's nice to remember that he Is physically disable #and so i am embracing it. he's tinkering with his arm in his free time but if he has to spend weeks (or months) w/o his prosthetic #well that's just the reality he's gotta live #anywyas. Here u go. snippet. that's a few hundred words so idk if this counts as a snippet but im calling it a snippet. Here You Go

[crossbackpoke-check]

what are ur thoughts on the winners room trope?

ooooo okay surface level analysis: i like winner’s room fics :)

etwas tieferes: i think it’s cool that it’s (afaik) unique to hockey fandom and i enjoy the way it integrates a lot of unspoken rules in hockey with desire/makes them a physical/tangible reality… also the narrative potentials/world-building it opens up can be fun because there’s not really a set of rules for the “winner’s room” trope. are there in-universe rules? who gets chosen? who’s exempt? who gets to pick? where’s it going down? is it the entire room or one guy? what if your (ex)boyfriend is on another team? does somebody need to be taught a lesson or do you need to remind someone who got traded you still love them? also, most important, winner’s room gives you the chance to put two random-ass guys you saw interact for 0.002 seconds and went “hmmm. interesting” about into a Situation and i love that

#yeah buddy!! i love answering questions!!! unironically i have so many opinions!!!! #refraining from putting this in the main text but had to go: yeah who doesn’t love a good g*ngb*ng #it also doesn’t just have to be a bunch of dudes fucking though per always: i think winner’s room fics can bring up interesting dialogues #about the idea of bodily autonomy and self-sacrifice or sacrifice in sports #every fic can utilize a trope their own way so you might have lighter versions or heavier versions and #tw: sa #dub-con/CNC elements which. given the truth of SA and abuse in hockey it’s valuable to have tools to explore and i feel like i need to #address that when i talk about this? obvi dead dove do not eat for some fics re:winner’s room but i think a lot of them do talk about #control and power to some extent if you were to do a deep literary analysis. which we don’t need to. sometimes it’s enough to read a fic one #time because you liked the main pairing and didn’t know SHIT about the flyers and then come back to it years later and absolutely lose your #goddamn mind about the fact that actually you DID know about travis konecny before you thought you did and at one point there were all these #guys that you now know and love who were just like. random fuckers in the sides of the fic. i tend to do that a lot bc i will read for #nearly everything (if i love u. i will read your works even if i don’t know anything about the fandom and also i am always willing to jump #on new ships) so also tangentially i think winner’s room fics are a lot of fun because you can see a lot of different interactions between a #lot of guys like not only is it this guy and this guy but also this guy and that guy and these two interacting around the sacrifice etc etc #tangled web many layers und so weiter. not sure if any of that makes sense but also i’m gonna tag for mentions of sa/wjc/hockey canada stuff #i don’t even really know if winner’s room functions as well even in other sports bc of the Team Identity in hockey & cultural context #liv in the replies #winner’s room can be layered with SO many other kinks and tropes and aus and also just like. i like it & that’s probably all i needed to say #also obvi re: rules for trope there aren’t ever any there’s just some popular variations and we can kinda see some of those forming #but i’m not even sure if winner’s room has its own tag on the archive? i’d have to check i know i have a few saved in my bookmarks at least #OH also if you made it this far. wasn’t sure if this was like a ‘do u got recs’ or a ‘what’s your moral stance’ or ‘hey is this something ur #into’ so. good faith good vibes y’all and if this wasn’t what u meant please elaborate the question i do love answering things #ty for the ask!!!! #for the record i do watch hockey like the leonardo dicaprio pointing meme finding milliseconds of interaction to go HAHA GAY NARRATIVE about

[axellis-archv-2]

hey *takes what was supposed to be just a visualization in case i ever wanted to draw overhallidays place in the future and then spends 4 hours on it

#📗 my post #🧯 overhalliday (s/i) #yeah ummm yeahn . hey . theres a lot in here let me divulge in the tags #hes supposed to live in like a town thats pretty Scrunched In with buildings kind of surrounding the place so the debug building behind #is supposed to mimic the back alley area that he uses for all his scraps && parts. really id imagine at some point he put a tarp over it #so metal doesnt rust && whatnot . but theres not really a way to do that i think in the sims #the bathroom being right where the stairs are is both a) bc i wrote that in a fic b) sometimes houses are dumb okay we cant all win #there isnt an operating table apparently?? so im using a lounge chair as a stand in and honestly it works well #really if i wanted to i wouldve added like soo much more clutter because he is. not the most organized #ftr i think like every sims bed has a headboard and he DOES NOT have that hes got a bed frame and a mattress that is IT!!! #^ not every sims one . the ones that dont talks abt...bed bugs. which . ew #and for the record also i think his place is only unique in the sense that you walk in and theres a workshop . exterior wise theres #probably like a bunchhh that look the same as youre walking down . all scrunched together #i actually donthave a set place in mind that he lives i just know its like. a Town #a town that doesnt have a hardware store . so he takes a train if he ever needs supplies & it takes abt 10 minutes to get to the city #so hes not like. Cut Off per se but the locals definitely know his deal enough #idk looking at it and imagining a bunch side by side makes me think of likee. like. norway? <- my biases it was like the 2nd thing i google #it would be nice to live by a bunch of water #but also im . i dont know anything abt architecture this very easily could read as somewhere in america or something like that #idk but in my head it snows a lot there thats like all i have thought out

[pyrriax]

listening to this on loop bc it makes my silly brain happy

on that note: i'm making very slow progress on chapter 21 :3

#haunted ecosystem #like i'll be honest i wrote 200 words until i got overwhelmed by ppl in the server lol #i keep forgetting that my social tolerance is a lot lower when i'm already tired / emotionally overwhelmed #part of this is probably bc everybody around me is Stressed and i pick up on that more than i'd like to </3 #anyways i mean. we've got a paragraph of pandora debating familiarity vs recognition #which is fun. #i love people's personal definitions of words #conventional definitions be damned words have *personal* meanings too #i'm gonna probably bounce back and for between the chapter 20 extension & chapter 21 #and maybe throw in working on chimera if i think about it again #that'll be a fun oneshot and an accidental extension of was it me or me that fought him #i just think it'd be fun to work more with the outsiders smp canon and take a break from wtds (while still working on it? idk!) #i've been thinking a bunch about the ending #i think that scott was probably the announcer for season 27 as well #i feel like he became the announcer at the start of the Maze [or basically the outsiders] #...... have i talked about chimera before #UH. #chimera is a c!owen themed oneshot.... i write about him a lot. #i want to write something to do with c!krow to add onto my list of 'i watched the pov i wrote a oneshot' #i might do one focused around c!krow going back home after the maze #no idea what would happen though #meh that's a problem for tomorrow haunt #bc i've gotta remake my bed and go to bed. it's 22:50 #Youtube

[davidtennantpussytulpa]

started yellowjackets with my family awesomeee……. lez out and kill in the woods ladies!!!!!!!!!

#also i was like. how long would it take you guys to eat someone if you were stranded like that #because ive thought abt it a lot lately esp since i watched castaway bc i think id do it right away #like not KILL someone and eat them that would take longer. but if there was an accident and people died during it id probably eat them #right away bc like. theres a whole bunch of meat going to waste. itll only attract predators for later and stink up the place if u have to #take shelter there. plus like if theres a crash it would scare away anything small you could catch in the area for a day or two so that food #option is gone. and then you have to scavenge like what if theres nothing around or u cant tell whats okay to eat #its better to eat someone fast to keep your energy up for how much work youll need to do finding shelter and water and food to survive #beyond a few days #anyways. i didnt say all this before bc i wanted their true answers and my mom said not for a very long time/probably not and my dad said #probably not WHICH SURPRISED ME BAD BC I THOUGHT HE WOULD SAY YES #and i was like. well lol. heres my opinion 🫢 #idk if id actually be able to pull it off BUT. im just saying that would be the best option #better to cannibalize people already dead rather than kill someone youve gone through horrors to survive with as i always say!

[everyfandomever]

how am i not starving rn

#i checked the calories of the chicken sandwich i was given from wendys and its barely 500 cals #a fried egg is like 100 cals and soda and fruit punch do not give as many cals as i thought #i think ive barely had 1000 calories today and even less yesterday #how in the hell am i not dizzy as hell and even sicker???? #is bc i am sick and have been doing nothing much other than the bare minimum and sleeping a bunch???? #idk but probably #also im worried about my mom bc she has diabetes and like shes not eating very much either #what if her blood sugar drops too low???? #vex spits out random shit #last thing: ive been taking like three showers a day trying to cough up as much mucus as possible but that isnt working v well

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#tomorrow is the day the measurements start. the start of my 40+ days of torment. but idk im glad its finally here #i dont have to dread it anymore. hopefully its the last time i have to do these type of measurements #i was talking to my boss yesterday and she was like: oh last timr we were out i realized this might be ur last time doing lpi for thr rest #of ur life. and i was like god i hope so. bc thats a process where i crawl across the ground for 50m per transect and identify all the #plants and soil cover and for the life of me i cant fucking remember plant codes. i hate it bc i basically have to talk for like 3hrs and #have someone standing over my shoulder recording me and all the while my brain is screaminf at me bc field work doesnt count as real work #in my stupid brain. so yea ill do lpi and soil stability as benign torment in purgatory #but anyway. im hesitantly optimistic abt the measurements i have to take bc im going to try my best to make it ok bc i have school #interviews looming and i have to pretend im hanging on by more than a single thread ya kno #so we r going to b careful abt it. well at least well see how long it lasts. i also have tk find the time to read a bunch before interviews #while my brain is completely fried idk how. and do other lab stuff. sigh... #idk im probably going to take measurements all the way thru sunday and then monday see if i can fill out patent intake info with a psy #psychiatrist. and hope they take my insurance. i called and checked for providers and they were the only one in the area so shoulf b ok but #ya kno. god im barely a functional person. like the fact that i have to drive 8min down the road is very nearly enough for me to say fuck #it. id rather suffer forever. i just hate driving so much :-P #i just wish i could focus enough to make words make sense and justify the time i spend to learn things. agh #lmao im such an anxious person. a lab mate had a birthday today and my boss and a fellow lab member surprised her with a cake #and im v worried abt when my birthday happens. it wasnt so bad last time bc another birthday was also that week so the focus was off me a #lil but with my boss leaving this school i was like. yes. i escape the surprise gathering. but probably not. same for when i leave #genuinely i do not want a gathering. i just feel like im waiting for them to end. not that i dont like my lab mates but idk it feels so #artificial. and i feel awkward bc i never make eye contact or look at anyone in a way i think is typical bc i see ppl look at me #like turn their head to see my reaction to something and i just like fundamentally do not understand that impulse #whatever. what i want for my birthday or going away is to not attend the gathering. make it more like a wake lol #but i kno that wont happen. last year my boss asked whst i wanted and i said nothing and she said that wasnt allowed #im just so neurotic that if u try to do anything for me itll prob just upset me. but idk ppl like to give presents and stuff #and sometimes things arent all abt me. so i just gotta accept it and go cry abt it later #but thats like 3 months away so i dont kno why im so stressed abt it now. I've got more pressing things to stress abt #unrelated

[hopefullystillliving]

Folks, I might just be able to check "fake dating" off my bucket list this year!!

#hopeful rambling #a friend and i are concocting a Scheme #bc our school isnt exactly queer friendly and this would give us an excuse to a) hang out b) hug c) not get asked out #and we know each other pretty well so it probably wouldnt be too hard? #and we wouldnt have to worry abt catching feelings bc 1) been there done that 2) aroace #so im getting hyped #of course the issue remains that i'll have to try and fake date convincingly but we'd be straight-passing which is half the work done tbh #and it gives us the excuse for us to do a bunch of gender-affirming stuff for her under the excuse 'my girlfriend made me' #and i can indulge my silly romance fantasies with getting her flowers and making her bracelets and stuff #im gonna get to be the 'boyfriend' in this fake cringy straight relationship and im looking forward to it! #...im gonna get her a 'promise ring' from claires #now i just have to figure out how to break the news that im 'dating' to all my friends... #the Scheme Saga

[cockworkangels]

.

#genuinely sometimes i get worried about today’s kids. like not to sound old and boring and repeat what every generation probably has said #about that days kids. but. well. #i just saw a group of like 13 year olds drag a huge chunk of scrap metal to the middle of the road and leave it there. #like deliberately drag it there and place it in the middle of an intersection where there’s usually a decent amount of tradfic as well #idk why they did it like did they think it would be fun to cause an accident? like at the very least if someone hit it would damage their #car. and in the worst case the car would crash #idk it was just so baffiling to see #lol i would have told them off but they ran away bc that was something that caused genuine danger not just a stupid prank #so then i got to drag that chunk og scrap metal to the side of the road lol where no one will hit it #idk it’s just different to see kids do something that genuinely will cause harm to others whether they realise it or not #like when i worked at a mcdonald’s i got teenager calling me bitch and telling me to suck their dick and all that. like that’s different #it’s more like lol what do you think your mom would say if you heard what you just said. but ofc it’s worrying in on itself that they think #it’s funny to treat people like that. but most grow out of it #but seeing a bunch of kids do something that actually endangers people. idk doesn’t feel good #sorry i had to rant about this #like this is nothing new but i’m stil shocked

[arytha]

getting home from a long day at work and then immediately taking a shower and then sitting in front of a fan is the best. self care

#mara's shit #i had to move a bunch of boxes around today and also #i threw a ton of stuff out that my boss would not have let me toss out normally #he's a fucking hoarder. why do we #need signage from 2019 #that was for stuff we dont even have anymore bc we remodeled. #also i found a second pupilometer that was just shoved back there fROM 2014 #2014!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME #IT WAS FULLY FUNCTIONAL! WHY HAVENT WE BEEN USING IT!!! #we've only had one this entire time and its even older than that. probably early 2000s. it #works well #but #having two is so much more convenient

[exopelagic]

I AM A CODING GENIUS

#coding assignments due in circa 10 hours. it is 2am #I started roughly 12 hours ago and I’m almost done #I also managed to do in 5 minutes the thing my friend has been struggling with for a month <3 #the problem is that I’m really good at figuring out how code SHOULD work so solutions like that are easy as hell #but making it actually happen? well. #I spent about two hours swearing at my laptop bc these two dumb rasters would not be set to anything except TRUE/FALSE #they would NOT let me change the values for any reason at all and the internet failed me #I think it is time for us as a society to acknowledge that stack overflow sucks actually this is one of my biggest red flags #I despise that site it completely sucks more often than it’s helpful #that might just be bc I’ve done an obscene amount of work with spatial data at this point and spatial data is hell <3 #anyway I’m procrastinating now even though it’s 2am bc I’m feeling confident I can finish this now so the urgency is gone #it will return in maybe 30 minutes bc I said I’d go to bed at 3am but man. these assignments have been the WORST #aaaaaanyway I’m in the hyper stage of tired yknow. the chocolate I just ate probably isn’t helping #so ready for this to be done but unfortunately that means I gotta do it #might as well do as much as I can now I guess so I can get it finished early tomorrow #can clean it up a bunch tonight if I finish it quick too #okay pray for me. I’m already on 5 hours sleep bc I was up until 2 doing the other one yesterday #luke.txt #man my flatmates are ASLEEP now probably wish I was asleep #2:36 update: can confirm I am a genius bc I think I just solved my problem from earlier too

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

you’ve got this!!

girl help i have no context ghskfhskbf thanks for whatever it is you're trying to pep talk me abt

#if i had to guess it's probably abt me rambling in the tags abt how i've been stuck in a mental illness tar pit #that caused me to run out of meds and subsequently get worse and ghost my found family grandparents for like 5 months fhsjhfjsgf #i am indeed on the verge of breaking my failgirl streak so i do got this you're right anon #the plan is to go to the farm and apologise for my disappearing act tomorrow around noon #since i feel like i can finally start volunteering consistently now bc im this close 👌 to getting back on top of shit #i actually did so much today im proud of myself #deep cleaned the degus' cages and gave them fresh bedding and they are very happy now bc making their nests is like their fave activity #especially sam he would honestly rather you give him a piece of toilet paper than a treat one man's trash truly is another man's treasure #and i took my laundry down (will put it away after I've done the other stuff i need to do) and hung my sister's up for her #(she batch cooked a bunch of meals for us and also does the bulk of housework as well as work work bc my ass is unemployed so like #it's older sibling reparations yknow. i gotta do stuff for her sometimes to lighten the load a bit lmao) #and i helped her take the bins out #and bc i have been living in my pajamas for an embarrassingly long while i have no more laundry to do aside from my bedsheets #which i am just abt to change #and THEN im gonna put my laundry away and answer that other ask #then im gonna be all caught up on Stuff I Need To Do and then volunteering at the farm will be the only thing i have to do #which will thus make it doable bc it won't make me too exhausted to do other stuff bc there is no other stuff to do #and then i will resume the usual thing where i don't go in on weekends and get the other stuff done then #i will of course inevitably burn out again but such is life when you have mental illness up the wazoo #honestly if the doctors were open on weekends that would solve a lot of my problems bc i keep forgetting to order my meds #and then i remember on the weekend but then they're closed and im like ok on monday then #and then by the time monday rolls around i forget rinse and repeat #im on the verge of running out again but fuck it we ball #i will figure this out somehow #im on top of literally everything else at least so. here's to hoping i can make it in on monday #apologies to my sister in advance for the 5 million alarms i must set but i am a very heavy sleeper #asks

[appalachianapologies]

*squints at notes and notfis and new followers* hello sapphics i see u and i am waving to you with gay undertones i hope you're doing well!! i can only assume you are here bc of my Last Night at the Telegraph fic and first of all !!!! and second of all !!!!!

I uh. admittedly don't have a lot of other sapphic fics (but man do i have a lot of sapphic wips) HOWEVER i do have a gay book!

it's not exactly the soft gay™️however it is nitty and gritty and about a badass lesbian who is the human equivalent of a puzzle missing every single edge piece (but it's okay she's trying her best)

if you're interested, A Penchant for the Ordinary is available on amazon here and is only 3 USD on kindle! it's a fun way to read more gay novels and support your local queer <3

#is it a perfect professional grade book? nope! is it a grade a realistic lesbian? YES #anyway hi hello i hope you enjoy your stay at my blog and if all goes well i WILL have the second half of the last night at the telegraph #fic up tonight #that is if i stop writing tumblr posts and start writing fic #ALSO another lesbian book is in the words rn. and as i plotted out plot today i promised myself i'd turn my attention to it #so i'm gonna try (emphasis on try) to give update snips every week starting next week #will this go well? probably not but at least it'll keep me writing #ps if you search ''a penchant for the ordinary'' on my blog you can find some snazzy fanart <3 #and you can find even more snazzy fanart if you go to my instagram (vi.writes.words) #this entire post is just one big plug for my work but hey #a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do #no but really it is a delight seeing so many new sapphic followers i love you all #and i'm like 2 away from 500 followers which is ABSOLUTELY MAD #(in a good way) #it's also available in amazon in a dozen and a half other countries if u need one of those links just dm me #bc the link i linked here is for us amazon but i have it for a bunch of other countries as well