#wh40crack.

[im-not-a-owl]

A little info for first-time Night Lords husbandry enthusiasts, just because they are called Chaos Marines does not mean you should put them with other breeds of Chaos Marines. Many Night Lords have a strong annoyance with chaos and chaos-related objects. Not all feel this way about chaos but always check before introducing them to chaos marines.

Ave Dominus Nox

#meme #night lords #ave dominus nox #space marine husbandry #god what have I wrote #wh40crack. #40k

[wxnheart]

What is cuddling with the primarchs like. (And no just writing morty off with a stank joke plz)

Horus - Very affectionate, complete with quips and kisses. Loves to hold you in the crook of his arm. His tits are wonderful pillows.

Leman Russ - Leman is quite the cuddler, especially because he really likes skin-to-skin contact when you two cuddle. More than likely, you'll both be naked. To your surprise, horizontal loving doesn't happen as often as you thought it would.

Ferrus Manus - A bit stilted but he's got the spirit. His arms are of great interest to you so it's not out of the ordinary to marvel at them.

Fulgrim - Cuddling with Fulgrim has an 85% chance of leading to... other things so yeah. Cuddling also includes a very elaborate primping session.

Vulkan - About as vanilla and saccharine as it gets. Doesn't usually last long because the giant teddy bear is a walking furnace.

Rogal Dorn - Also a bit stilted with him, too. If anything, you'll be tucked under him and engaging in conversation over his latest project. His voice, though he doesn't believe it, is quite sonorous and lulls you into a peaceful doze.

Roboute Guilliman - You're the one sitting in his lap while he's busy doing paperwork or the like. You like to tease him and he'll chuckle and tell you to behave; this is said rather suggestively, too. 👀

Magnus - Funnily enough, you're cuddling and playing with his hair while nestled comfortably in one arm while he's busy reading a book or perhaps the latest treatise his brother Lorgar wrote.

Sanguinius - Just as saccharine as Vulkan's, complete with you being enveloped in his wings just as much are you are in his arms. Touching his feathers will make him rouse his wings, though.

Lion El'Jonson - LMAO.

Perturabo - You're begrudgingly (read: happily) nestled against him and he begrudgingly (read: ABSOLUTELY) accepts it.

Mortarion - The clingy koala of the group, even with the scowl on his face. If he had his way, he'd never let go. Don't you dare tell his brothers or sons, though.

Lorgar - The one who cocoons himself around you. He absolutely, positively adores your cuddle sessions. It's a wonderful retreat away from his obligations and foster father.

Jaghatai Khan - You're holding on to him for dear life while he goes fast so there goes your cuddle session. He's really the one who has no objections to cuddling but he doesn't actively seek them out, either.

Konrad Curze - Does looming over you smirking like a deranged gremlin count as cuddling? If so, then... nice!

Angron - One of the many reasons he has to hate the Nails. Wants your touch. Yearns for it, actually, and if he didn't have them, he'd have Mortarion beat as the clingiest koala to ever cling. Instead, he has to contend with thought and you have to contend with the crazed way he looks at you. Cheers, darling.

Corvus Corax - Cuddling him is like being enveloped by the comfortable darkness. Whenever you're surrounded by it, you're secure in his arms.

Alpharius - You cuddle one, you cuddle them all. Cuddle pile!

#request fill. #warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #primarch #primarch x reader #horus lupercal #leman russ #ferrus manus #fulgrim #vulkan #rogal dorn #roboute guilliman #magnus the red #sanguinius #lion el'jonson #perturabo #mortarion #lorgar aurelian #jaghatai khan #konrad curze #angron #corvus corax #alpharius omegon

[lxvvie]

Being in a relationship with Lorgar Aurelian would consist of:

Your relationship being the embodiment of Dating What Daddy (Kor Phaeron) Hates.

Learning to ignore Kor Phaeron's increasing frustration with Lorgar's refusal to leave you be. Erebus on the other hand finds this development amusing.

Lorgar initially admiring you from afar; interestingly enough, it took some time for him to approach you but when he did, it was a fast track into a relationship.

Having a very demonstrative lover in your Primarch. Especially when it comes to physical affection.

Lorgar practically worshipping you, especially because you aren't critical in the way his father and brothers are, which translates into...

Him sharing the drafts of his writings with you.

The Word Bearers venerating you just the same. Depending.

Letting Lorgar ruminate and philosophize freely in your presence. Depending on the topic, you may or may not contribute but the simple fact that he can do so without restraint endears you to him greatly.

Lorgar's very... sonorous voice putting you at ease. Or sleep. Or making you flustered. Or all three and some more. Lorgar, knowing that you find his voice so pleasing, puts this to good use.

When it comes to matters of the... physical nature, two words: corruption kink. From both sides. Lorgar is a very vocal, very cunning linguist in more ways than one.

Just like Sanguinius is protective of his significant other, so, too is Lorgar when it comes to you. You're not a secret per se but he would much rather you not be around his... extended family. Much. For a plethora of reasons. This is his way of preserving the sanctity of you two's relationship.

#nsfw-ish. #wh40crack. #warhammer 40k #lorgar aurelian #word bearers #lorgar aurelian x reader #lorgar aurelian x you #warhammer x reader #warhammer x you #primarch #primarch x reader #primarch x you #random note: I headcanon that Lorgar is the most well-endowed out of all the Primarchs but no one believes it lmao.

[shiyorin]

Hello💖 I hope everything is fine in your life🌹 Can I request some sweets with Sanguinius?🤗 The reader cannot sleep without Sanguinius. She needs him next to her on the bed, whether he wants it or not. The reader cannot sleep without its warmth and the beating of several hearts and breathing. She will continue to beg with her puppy dog eyes, begging him to just come and be with her. And when Angel finally gives in, she lies down on him and hugs him tightly to her chest. And once she falls asleep, there is little that can wake her unless the primarch leaves. So he continues to work in bed. If one of the Blood Angels comes with an important report, they have to speak very quietly)

Here we are, I hope you will like this

You knew as soon as you opened your eyes that you were dreaming. The grinding darkness pressing in felt too visceral to be real.

You stood alone amidst shadows so thick they swallowed light. An infinite void of nothingness stretching in all directions, but you sensed walls of blackness closing in with each empty breath. Silence absolute and profound as the abyss pressed upon you from all sides. Not even your footfalls made sound upon this formless plane of isolation.

A chill gripped you being unlike any temperature. It seeped into your bones with needle-sharp talons, piercing soul-deep. You welcomed the pain. Something, anything to drag your mind from this imagined sensory deprivation torment. Better the icicle limbs and lungs than the void consuming you from without and within.

Then, a scent teased your nose, faint yet paradoxically overpowering amidst the smothering null-scents. Metallic and cloying in a way that chilled deeper than the freezing dark.

Blood.

You knew its perfume intimately from so many times spent on the edge of your life. Here, its presence shocked your mind from sliding into the numbness of this abhorrent solitude.

Reason reasserted, you were dreaming. None could shed blood in dream. But its smell anchored your senses where nothing else could gain purchase in this unfortunate fantasy.

You want to wake up, but you can't. Time lost meaning. An eternity could have passed or merely an instant. You walked endless and wandered directionless, hounded by the maddening blood perfume and walls of ebony closing in.

Until at last, a dim shape emerged ahead. Your eyes long since adjusted perceive a soothing glow, pale golden and welcoming. A figure, features undefined yet exuding comforting presence through that gentle luminance.

You quickened your strides, hope flaring faint yet fierce that here lay escape. As the shape transformed into a form backlit by golden light, relief and gratitude swelled within your constricted being.

That arms outstretched in invitation, and you fell into that embrace. Warmth and solace you had not known flowed through you, banishing the penetrating chill. Light encircled you, radiant hands cradling you safe from the invasive murk.

*****

You stirred slowly to consciousness, wrapped in warmth and comfort. As sleep faded, recognition dawned, you were nestled in Sanguinius' embrace.

White wings cocooned around you, shielding from harsh realities as dawn light filtered through feather-soft plumes. You sagged in relief, tension seeping from tense limbs held softly in the Angel's gentle strength.

Sanguinius gazed down with a small, sad smile. "Another nightmare?" he asked softly, already knowing the answer. His eyes brimmed with compassion yet remained lowered, granting you privacy to collect scattered wits.

You sighed, weariness seeping into your bones like the chill of your dreams. "It seems the past refuses to release its hold, even in rest."

Your words conveyed volumes, as always. Sanguinius needed no details to understand night terrors forged from lifetimes steeped in darkness. He knew such torments intimately through his cursed gift. And he is just like you

The Angel hugged you closer. "I'm sorry I could not banish these memories haunting your sleep," he murmured against your hair.

You leaned into his embrace. "You've nothing to apologize for, my lord. Your presence alone eases my pains."

You stirred tiredly, remnants of shadowy dreams clinging like cobwebs. Sanguinius hugged you close once more to soothe. Drawing you gently back against his chest, wings cradling he and you in downy, he whispered soft reassurances.

"Sleep now, my dearest. This time I swear no nightmare will disturb your rest."

You relaxed into his hold. Yet unease still ghosted your eyes as slumber approached. "Will you remain?" You asked, not demanding yet yearning for his anchoring presence.

Sanguinius smiled softly. "I give you my word, no harm shall find you while under my watch. I will remain at your side for as long as you desire."

You slept. And there were no nightmares, only soothing darkness and warm. You knew with surety the Angel's blessings would shelter your dreams. His promise, a benediction chasing all shadows far from you at last.

His final whispered words drifted after like a prayer: "Be at peace, my dearest. May your future hold more joy than pain."

*****

Raldoron strode purposefully down the hall, dispatch in hand requiring Sanguinius' attention. Approaching the door, he raised a hand to knock but paused at a soft sound within.

Peering through slightly ajar doors revealed his primarch seated, head bowed. Surprise ebbed as Raldoron recognized another figure nestled close, head resting peacefully on Sanguinius' shoulder.

You slept deeply, features smoothed in tranquil repose. Sanguinius' soft humming and gentle touch upon your hair seemed to banish any lingering turmoil from your dreams. Protective wings encircled them both.

Raldoron smiled softly at the scene. He rapped softly, not wishing to disturb such haven of calm. Eyes meeting him held no censure, only cryptic understanding. A finger pressed to Sanguinius’ lips conveyed silent request.

Raldoron nodded acceptance, retreating as stealthily as arriving. Messages could wait.

Extra:

Raldoron: Our father get laid.

Blood Angels: ?????

#shiyorin's answer #wh40crack. #reader insert #primarch x reader #romantic stuff in 40k

[wolf-tail]

primarch walking around with a space marine strapped to his chest like a baby send tweet

#warhammer 40k #warhammer 40000 #wh40k #primarchs #wh40crack.

[thevoidscreams]

If requests are open, could i request a fluffy fic with horus and his baseline human companion. Maybe when he gets appointed Warmaster or just something along those lines?

"You deserve it. No one but you could have been fit for this job. Otherwise, the Emperor would have picked someone else."

Horus sighed and relaxed into his bed. "I know that. But what if I fail him. My father has put so much on my shoulders, and now I'm expected to do what he did. Lead the crusade."

You set your brush down on the desk he'd gotten for you to keep your things on and went over to the bed. You were both dressed for the evening and getting comfortable before bed.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit." You smiled and climbed into the bed Horus had aquired for you both. He'd wanted you to be comfortable.

The newly appointed war master took you into his arms and set down the old Terran book he'd been studying.

"I'm the primarch of the 16th, and now I've been made the warmaster, I think I've been given my fair share of credit."

"Still not enough, in my opinion. I won't be happy till every city, on every world, has a statue of you." You smiled, and Horus sighed warmly.

Leaning down, he kissed the side of your face. It was such a soft gesture for one so big and powerful.

"What would I do without you?" He smiled, you smiled too.

"Probably what you're doing now, just without me." You said. He shivered at the thought. In your short few years together, he'd grown so attached to you.

You were his soft place, the place his hearts longed fit at the end of a long day. He'd keel your closet when he could, but he'd never risk your life by bringing you onto a battlefield. So time away was inevitably going to happen, and he'd long for you every moment you were apart.

"Don't even joke about that. I couldn't do this without you."

You kissed his cheek. "You would be just fine. You're a primarch. You're built to withstand much worse things than not having a human to keep you warm at night." You chuckled.

Horus frowns, his eyes softening as one of his large fingers combs through your freshly beushed hair. "I wouldn't want to do this all without you. Why do you think I went through all that trouble to have you augmented to live longer. I don't do that for just anyone."

"I know, Lulu. I'm just poking fun." The only person who had nickname for him like that was you.

He pulled you closer. No one else would have been allowed to call him Lulu and get away with it. But he didn't hate the nickname when it was from you. Because Horus did indeed love you.

"My strange little companion, whatever shall I do with you?"

"Some cuddles before bed would be nice."

"Then cuddles it shall be."

You both slipped into a calm, comfortable silence. Lupercal staves off sleep just a bit longer, though watching you sleep soundly in his arms.

Leaning down, he kissed your cheek, causing you to hum and smile in your sleep.

"I love you." He said, so soft it was barely above a whisper. "More than I'll ever be able to tell you. More than I'll ever be able to explain." He closed his eyes, and peaceful sleep took him.

The future and all its responsibilities could wait.

#warhammer 40k #warhammer #40k #primarch x reader #primarchs #fanfiction #primarch #my writing #wh40crack. #horus lupercal #Horus lupercal x reader #x reader

[whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon]

Primarch x Reader - Nothing Says Affection Quite Like...

...Playfully telling Jaghatai Khan that he does not, in fact, go fast because you go faster. You didn't expect a response but you were pleasantly surprised that he found your joke funny enough to warrant a small chuckle.

...Tricking Leman Russ into saying he's the goodest of bois. It was an inane argument, really, and one you refuse to acknowledge that Leman won, but you had to jump on the opportunity to get your dear Primarch back. So one day you happened to ask him in front of the Space Wolves, "Who's a good boy?" to which he automatically replied, "I am—Damn it!" And oh, the awkward silence that ensued afterward was music to your ears.

...Threatening to smack Fulgrim for the 3949343894958239th time if he doesn't. stop. leering at you! By the throne, you're supposed to be working! This is Fulgrim we're talking about so he naturally throws your words back at you. "Is that a promise...?" What?

...Sanguinius confirming your belief that he has, what was it, himbo tendencies? Strange, those ancient words, but fitting nonetheless for your Great Angel. It was a random conversation about hair. Hair. Don't ask how it came about. And somehow that turned into talking about the color of Rogal Dorn's and Fulgrim's hair and then that turned into Sanguinius thinking this was your way of saying he's going grey. ("Primarchs can go grey?") You later find out he spent the better part of a few days checking his hair for any signs of grey, asked his most trusted sons if he was going grey, and then spoke to Fulgrim about it. Fulgrim's existential meltdown (as described by his lover) is another story altogether.

...Somehow turning Angron into an angry burrito with the help of a multitude of plush blankets. It is as ridiculous as it sounds.

...The quiet satisfaction on Lorgar's face as you piss Kor Phaeron off for the millionth time.

...Finding the right words to express your love for Roboute. You said that he was, uh, indispensable like Recaf. "...But you do not like Recaf." "Exactly." "......" "WAIT, NO—"

...Enjoying the way Lion's face scrunches up because he's too emotionally constipated to react any other way. Your shenanigans usually range from booping the snoot to calling him various pet names.

...Mortarion having an existential crisis because you joked that "7 8 9." ".............??!?!?!?!?!?!??!"

#warhammer 40k #primarch x reader #wh40crack. #[1/2] #this is your brain on slaanesh lmao.

[moyavera]

BOYZ AND GROTZ OV EVEREE SIZE

WOULDN’T YOO LIKE TO SEE SUMFING NICE

COME WIV US AND YOO WILL SEE

DIS IS DA TOWN OF WAAAGHLOWEEN

DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN, DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN

WEAK GITZ SCREAM IN DA DEAD OV NIGHT

DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN, STAB A GIT AND EAT HIS SPLEEN

KRUMP AND SMASH TIL DEREZ NOONE LEFT AROUND TO FITE

ITZ OWR TOWN, EVERYBODY’Z GREEN

IN DIS TOWN OF WAAAGHLOWEEN

I AM DA WUN DAT WILL KILL YOO ALL DEAD

TEEF DATZ SHARP AND EYEZ GLOWING RED (OR YELLO!)

BLOOD AXE GITZ HIDING UNDER YOUR STAIRZ

SNAKEBITEZ AND GOFFS AND SUM UVVAZ I FORGOT (OOPS)

DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN, DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

IN DIS TOWN WOT WE CALL ‘OME

EVERYWUN DAT KNOWZ HOW SING ALONG

IN DIS TOWN WOT WE ALL RITE LIKE

EVERY GITZ ARMED TO DA TEEF ALRITE

ROUND DAT CORNER, GROT STOMPIN IN A KILLA KAN

KOMMANDOZ WAITING NOW TO SNIK YA, MAKE YOO SCREAM

DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN, EVERY DIFFRUNT SHADE OV GREEN

YOO WANNA SCRAP, WELL DATZ JUST FINE

SAY IT WUNCE SAY IT LOTZ

ALL DA BOYZ N SQUIGZ N GROTZ

BAD MOONZ AND EVIL SUNZ RACE AN FITE

EVRYBODY’Z GREEN, EVERYBODY’Z GREEN

IN OUR TOWN OF WAAAGHLOWEEN

I AM DA GIT THAT’LL TEAR OFF YOUR FACE

LOOKIN’ REAL FLASH WEN I PUNCH YOR FACE

I DON’T GIVE A ZOG WHEN YOU SAY “BOSS, NO!”

I STOMP ON YOR ‘EAD AN I STOMP ON YOR TOEZ

DEN I NICK YER TEEF AND I STEAL YOR BIKE

EVERY DAY I WAKE UP LOOKING FOR A FITE

DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN, DIS WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

TINY SNOTLINGZ EVEREEWERE

LIFEZ NO FUN WIVOUT GITZ TO SCARE

DATZ OUR JOB KUZ WERE BIG N MEEN

IN OUR TOWN OV WAAAGHLOWEEN

IN DIS TOWN WOT WE ALL RITE LIKE

EVERY GITZ ARMED TO DA TEEF ALRITE

SNEAKY GITZ MITE STAB YOO IN DA BACK

OOR MAYBEE DEFFSKULLZ WIV BLOO PAYNTE ON DERE SKIN

DIZ IS WAAAGHLOWEEN, EVERYWUN IZ GREEN

BETTA MAKE WAY FOR A RITE TUFF GIT

BIG MEK DREGZ IS DA BOSS OV DA SPEED WAAAGH

EVERYWUN FOLLOW DA WAAAGH BOSS NOW

DIS IZ WAAAGHLOWEEN, DIS WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

WAAAGHLOWEEN, WAAAGHLOWEEN

IN DIS TOWN WOT WE ALL ARE

EVREE LAST GIT GIV A RITE BIG WAAAAAAGH!!!

#music #ork #warhammer orks #warhammer art #warhammer 40000 #warhammer fantasy #warhammer 40k #warhammercommunity #gorkamorka #krump #halloween #waaagh #parody #song #wh40k #wh40k art #wh40000 #wh40k oc #wh40k meme #wh40crack. #Youtube

[lxvvie]

So as I was writing and getting requests done, I had a thought: how about we take that trend I did with Call of Duty and apply it to your favorite primarchs? This begs the question: How would your dearly beloved primarchs react if you called them by their full name... because of reasons?

Horus - Hits you with one of his most dazzling smiles. It's too dazzling, which lets you know that Horus got into some shit. You question him and he gives you a vague answer while still smiling.

Leman Russ - You and he both know he's been up to no good so he'll either proposition you or make sure he's not in the vicinity to hear you call his name lmao.

Ferrus Manus - Instantly stops whatever it is he's doing; contemplates a response and ultimately decides to make himself scarce somewhere else.

Fulgrim - Is affronted that you'd call his name with such... irreverence. Will actually ignore you. Bastard.

Vulkan - Will also stop what he's doing and answer your call just as fervently as you called him. Has a tendency to resort to hugs to placate you. Those hugs are amazing, though... You can never stay mad at him for too long.

Rogal Dorn - Responds by calling you by your full name. With no intonation. Smart ass.

Roboute Guilliman - Will give some bullshit explanation while multi-tasking that would make Horus proud as to why he got into shit and how said shit has been resolved. May or may not work depending.

Magnus - It becomes a staring contest because you want him to give you an answer and he's trying to figure out why you called him.

Sanguinius - His foresight never prepares him for the way you say his name. Would put on his best saccharine smile that Horus would also be proud of but it's ineffective because his wings usually give him away.

Lion El'Jonson - Gives no fucks. Save for a quick glance will refuse to acknowledge your call. Because of reasons that have nothing to do with the fact that he's in deep shit.

Perturabo - Will pretty much stomp his way to you and get eye-level with you with a sneer. "Why do you call me?" A battle of wills and glares ensues.

Mortarion - Will look down on you, literally and figuratively.

Lorgar - Is the one who puts Horus and Sanguinius to shame because he ALWAYS placates you. ALWAYS. It never fails. But this is after he's winced and bowed his head some, even though he towers over you.

Jaghatai Khan - Gotta catch him first to find out lmao.

Konrad Curze - Results may vary. Might even hear some gremlin screeching... er, do you really wanna know?

Angron - Smirks and chuckles because he most certainly did some shit and he's practically begging you to say something about it.

Corvus Corax - May or may not be repentant, depending on the severity. Also may or may not make himself known but an effort was made, I suppose.

Alpharius - You're better off wondering what it is he didn't do. Whenever he comes, you're left wondering if that's the real Alpharius or if he sent a proxy like the last couple of times.

#warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #warhammer40k x reader #warhammer x reader #primarch #primarch x reader #horus lupercal #leman russ #ferrus manus #fulgrim #vulkan #rogal dorn #roboute guilliman #magnus the red #sanguinius #lion el'jonson #perturabo #mortarion #lorgar aurelian #jaghatai khan #konrad curze #angron #corvus corax #alpharius omegon

[lxvvie]

Being in a relationship with Sanguinius would consist of:

Sanguinius having visions and dreaming about you before you two even met.

And once you and Sanguinius met, he kept his distance for your safety and... his sanity. But still, he pined for you.

Your relationship being something of a slow burn until he embraces his inner 'fuck it' and it turns into a full-fledged relationship. Did you know the depths of his feelings for you?

Privacy, Privacy, Privacy. Few know he's a taken man. The first person he told was Horus. Sanguinius is actually very protective of you and your relationship with him.

And speaking of protectiveness, have you noticed how... vigilant the Blood Angels are around you?

You being interested in his wings and despite feeling uncomfortable when they're touched, he'll let you caress them. Not for long, though.

Sitting in his lap more often than not.

Sanguinius being surprisingly... candid with you when it comes to certain aspects of being a Primarch. He might allude to other things but won't really elaborate and should you ask him, he'll merely shake his head, give you a delicate smile, and assure you that it's nothing.

Being your ever-present protector. Whenever he can. And I do mean ever-present.

Sometimes surprising you by swooping down and scooping you up into his arms. A variant of that is dropping down and enveloping you in both his arms and wings.

Forehead kisses. If there's one thing Sanguinius is consistent with regarding you, it's forehead kisses.

Being one of the Primarchs' significant other who doesn't even get a planet's distance to the Emperor. Because you're a secret. When I say you're Sanguinius' hidden gem, you're Sanguinius' hidden gem. You know about the Emperor but he doesn't know about what you and his beloved son have (...or does he?).

#I know I said Lorgar's was next but that I'm trying to dial it down because the corruption kink is on 1000 when it comes to him lmao. #warhammer 40k #warhammer x reader #warhammer x you #warhammer40k x reader #warhammer 40k x you #sanguinius #sanguinius x reader #sanguinius x you #primarch #primarch x reader #primarch x you #blood angels #wh40crack.

[wxnheart]

Which Primarch has the best hair to pull while riding their face being intimate?

It'd be easy to say Sanguinius, Magnus, and Fulgrim but one is actually tender-headed, and the other two... it's a hit or miss. Depending. 👀

Surprisingly? Roboute and Dorn because they're closet freak heauxs and love it when you tug at their cropped tresses. Because the pain is a wonderful opportunity to vent their frustrations and their tongues are working, honey.

Horus when he had hair. Now he'd just tease the shit out of you and lift you up mid-lick because he's an ass like that.

Leman most definitely. He chuckles against your skin. Lion, I think, wouldn't even be fazed so he's feasting away like the fuckin' beast he is. By the Emperor...

Avoid at all costs: Angron, Konrad, Perturabo, and Corvus. Especially Angron. And Perturabo.

You won't even come close to the Khan's.

If Lorgar and Vulkan had hair, whew.

#warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #primarch x reader #primarch #nsfw. #sanguinius #magnus #fulgrim #roboute guilliman #rogal dorn #horus lupercal #leman russ #lion el'jonson #angron #corvus corax #konrad curze #lorgar aurelian #vulkan #jaghatai khan #perturabo

[lxvvie]

Being in a relationship with Konrad Curze would consist of the following:

Wondering how in the hell a relationship between you two managed to happen.

The Night Lords wondering how in the hell a relationship between you two managed to happen.

Sevatar questioning your sanity and wondering how the hell a relationship between you two managed to happen.

Speaking of Sevatar, sometimes having to use him as a go-between to interpret Konrad-speak or to get him to see reason. Or because you want to try your luck and agitate him.

Becoming accustomed to him popping up from out of the darkness. You never know where he's at specifically but you get the feeling that he's always lurking nearby.

Being on the receiving end of his... admittedly awkward gestures of affection. Konrad, uh, he's got the spirit.

Receiving gifts of the, er... unorthodox kind.

Konrad also vacillating between being overly protective of you and letting you find your own way. While also never being too far away from you. Yes, it is as confusing as it sounds.

Interestingly enough, gaining his trust to the extent that Konrad reveals details, albeit sparingly, of his visions to you. Fancy that, huh?

Being amused at his dislike of ravens or anything associated with them. You tend to stay mum about that, doubly so with Sevatar's questioning stare.

Getting used to the fact that whenever it's just you two, he almost always will be naked.

Never failing to be surprised when Konrad offers rare glimpses of insight into the world around you.

Actually convincing him to stop messing with those damn claws of his. At least in your presence.

#2queued4u. #warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #konrad curze #night lords #primarch #konrad curze x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer x reader #warhammer40k x reader

[lxvvie]

Being in a relationship with Fulgrim would consist of:

How did you two begin? Fulgrim called dibs on you and that was that. He put on the charm in doing so.

Having a hate-hate love-hate relationship with the Emperor's Children. Depending on the person in question, the issue can be quite superficial.

Your arguments or conversations also being somewhat superficial or... surprisingly philosophical depending on the topic.

Adopting some of Fulgrim's... Fulgrimness. Much to your chagrin. At times. You think.

Being pampered, the likes of which you've probably never been before to the point that it's THISCLOSE to becoming a gilded cage.

Fulgrim insisting on introducing you to much more... palatable forms of the arts than what you're used to.

Additionally, Fulgrim getting rid of your old wardrobe and replacing it with clothes "deserving of one of the Emperor's own".

Being his muse. You've lost count of the number of times you've had to pose for him as he painted or sketched you.

Primping sessions. That's it.

Gossip sessions. That's also it.

Remember the gilded cage mention? Fulgrim for all his braggadocio is rather possessive protective of you.

Fulgrim... not introducing you to all of his brothers. Sure, he may talk about them ever so often but the only one you've truly gotten acquainted with was Ferrus Manus and even that meeting didn't last long.

Him absolutely refusing to put you even a planet's distance to Konrad Curze.

Having the distinction of being one of the few of the Primarch's consorts to even be in the vicinity of the Emperor.

#2queued4u. #warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #fulgrim #emperor's children #primarch #primarch x reader #fulgrim x reader #warhammer x reader #warhammer40k x reader

[lxvvie]

Being in a relationship with Magnus the Red would consist of:

Him pulling Warp shenanigans to observe you before he even makes his physical presence known.

Having one of the most... natural transitions into a relationship out of all the Primarchs. It's so subtle you don't even realize it's happening until Magnus points it out to you.

You balancing out Magnus' cerebral nature. You're a good distraction as he tends to rationalize... a lot of things, really.

You also being a good sounding board for his more philosophical ruminations.

Realizing that his hair is much softer than you thought it was.

To piggyback off the last bullet, playing with it absentmindedly.

Also realizing that Magnus is quite the gift-giver. Every gift he's given to you has been thoughtfully chosen and quite opulent.

Using Magnus as your personal encyclopedia.

Taking advantage of Magnus' height and size because he's your personal pillow, bed, chair, and ladder.

Finding out that Magnus has a playful side if his harmless Warp pranks are any indication.

Magnus not being one to really voice the extent of his affection for you but the way he'll silently grab you up into the crook of his arm and press your foreheads together speaks volumes more than his words ever could.

Being entranced by his gaze, especially when his face is so close to yours. Especially when his red tresses curtain around you.

Gently running your fingertips over where his other eye would be. The care behind your touch makes Magnus lean into it.

Magnus wearing elaborate hairstyles more often than not since you mentioned that you liked them.

#2queued4u. #warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #magnus the red #thousand sons #primarch #magnus the red x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer x reader #warhammer40k x reader

[lxvvie]

What is your filthiest Primarch x reader fantasy?

I don't think it's incredibly filthy, but either Rogal Dorn or Rouboute Guilliman being absolutely done with the bullshit one day and they take their frustration out on the reader.

They damn near pushed everything on their desk to the floor, and the next thing you know the reader is lying on it half naked and trying not to scream the place down because their beloved primarch's head is buried between their thighs and that tongue is WORKING.

Bonus points if Dorn or Guilliman tell them to be quiet or he'll stop right before they cum (he won't).

But oh, go on ahead and pull their hair too while you're at it. 😊

#nsfw. #warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #primarch #primarch x reader #roboute guilliman #rogal dorn #warhammer x reader #warhammer40k x reader #roboute guiliman x reader #rogal dorn x reader #iron fists #ultramarines

[lxvvie]

Being in a relationship with Horus Lupercal would consist of the following:

Horus essentially sweet-talking you into a full-fledged relationship. Not that you're complaining. Much.

Horus being both protective of you and shameless in parading you around.

Learning to pick up on the more subtle cues behind his smile(s). As such, you're more attuned to whether or not they're genuine or performative.

Knowing just about everything about his brothers thanks to him. Everything.

Horus spoiling the absolute shit out of you. If he had it his way, your feet wouldn't even touch the ground.

Physical touch. A lot of it. The Warmaster can't keep his hands off of you. And if the occasion doesn't call for touching, he's close by, looming over you like a protective, charismatic shadow.

Having the privilege of meeting the Emperor of Mankind under less formal circumstances. The same goes for Malcador.

Also having the privilege of riling Abaddon up to Horus' amusement.

Going just about every place Horus goes. You can count on one hand the number of nights he's spent away from you.

And when you sleep, you're almost always asleep on his chest. Might as well use his chesticles as a pillow.

Horus being pleasantly surprised at the moments when you take the initiative and... initiate.

Speaking of initiate, uh... you tend to sleep in more often than not the next day. Because of reasons. Reasons that pertain to Horus and his stamina.

Kissing that shiny bald head of his for good luck or something of that nature. It's turned into an inside joke between you two.

While verbal proclamations of his affection are few and far between, Horus makes no secret of his love for you, little wolf. Everyone can see it, especially those who would use it to their own ends... and perhaps at your expense.

#2queued4u. #warhammer 40k #wh40crack. #horus lupercal #luna wolves #primarch #horus lupercal x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer x reader #warhammer40k x reader