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crescentfool · 17 days

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i've been doing a bunch of tartarus runs in reload lately, and it got me thinking about how i miss certain ways FES's clunky gameplay can characterize minato… (ramble about the great clock mechanic + leveling up party members in reload vs fes under the cut)

when i got to yabbashah block in tartarus (block 3), i remember commending the developers for adding the great clock mechanic. it's a much more convenient way to keep party members at the protagonist's level- so when you think about p3 from the perspective of trying to make it easier for people to play, the mechanic succeeds in this respect.

but now that i'm in adamah block, and that i've done lots of my once-a-month tartarus runs… i think that i got a little too dependent on it, and the way that i played through reload feels like a vastly different experience from how i played FES.

in reload, my party's levels are very lopsided. minato, yukari, akihiko, mitsuru, and fuuka are all level 90+, meanwhile junpei and aigis are at level 79, and then… poor ken and koromaru are at 71 and 64 respectively. (i never got to have a great clock for them…)

meanwhile, in FES, my party's levels were much more evenly distributed and were at least level 90. i did all of this manually for every monthly tartarus run because i enjoyed having options available for the taratarus guardians and monthly operations.

with how i perceive minato, i feel that the way i played FES feels more in-line with his character than me dawdling around waiting for the great clocks in reload.

FES's gameplay loop left me with the very strong impression that minato has to work twice as hard as everyone else in SEES does. it makes sense because, yeah, he's the leader, but something about having minato run through tartarus multiple times with different groups of people just to make sure that they are adequately prepared speaks volumes about his character, to me.

and while the tired mechanic is present in reload to some degree, most notably with allowing you to freely raise your courage stat when you visit edogawa after school… the tiredness system doesn't hit the same way that FES does, i think.

the way your party members in FES will call it quits when they return to the entrance floor at tartarus when they're tired, versus minato, in spite of all his tiredness and sickness, still pushes through tartarus because it's his responsibility…. idk!!! i miss that! i feel like this really hammers home the difference between minato and the rest of SEES, how minato doesn't really see himself as a human with needs worth respecting as long as he's useful to someone.

i don't think that tartarus being tedious (in FES especially) is not what most people would describe as fun, and i can respect people thinking it's a slog. but, regardless of how it feels to play, it doesn't change that FES's gameplay loop is a fundamental building block in how i perceive minato…

of course, i do recognize that you can just opt to NOT use the great clock in reload (and it's great when players are offered the choice to not partake in mechanics)! i definitely think that if someone really wanted to, they could manually level up party members, but i do feel that kind of playstyle isn't necessarily "incentivized" to the type of people who are into playing games for Having a Good Time. it's kind of like… "why would you do that when there's a much more convenient option available to you."

in any case! despite my woes, i do want to emphasize that i'm glad that reload has a much more smoother gameplay loop than the original P3 did, because it does make the game more accessible to people. having played both FES and reload, it feels very strongly apparent to me how the core gameplay formula of persona has really been refined in the past 18 years (to think og p3 was 2006 and reload is 2024.. time flies!). and reload has made revisiting a story that i love so dearly much, much easier because the gameplay just bops!

at the same time, due to my "i miss characterization informed by weird and dated FES gameplay quirks" woes, i still think that playing FES is worthwhile. (really, i feel this way about all iterations of p3! i think it's worthwhile to see what each version and side media has to say even if it doesn't Land™ for you.) but i also understand why people wouldn't want to play it, so i will keep writing posts about things i liked from FES's gameplay because i'm still very fond of FES (especially in respects to minato. these mechanics are so telling about him!!!) 💪

#lizzy speaks #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #<- specifically mentions of mechanics. no added story content just tartarus talk #minato arisato #today on lizz life: lizz wakes up THINKING about minato for the NTH time and is compelled to write a tumblr post about it #tartarus in reload is excellent looking and fun but i keep thinking about what i liked about how FES characterizes minato so #here i am... LOL... with my 790 or so word ramble... im so normal about the blue boy #i needed to get my feelings out there somewhere i just could not stop thinking about HIM HE IS IN MY BRAIN 24/7 #me playing reload last night like 'minato would not fucking wait for a great clock to make sure that SEES is adequately prepared.'#and yet my sloth brain awaits the great clock... LOL gameplay convenience is not lost on me #i'm stuck in tartarus rn im grinding rubies and stuff trying to get equipment so i can throw hands with elizabeth its going to be fun #im still not done with this game i continue to be haunted by tartarus i fucking love that tower unironically #uh usually id ramble more in tags but. go read my post!! because i like analyzing FES gameplay mechanics!! i am full of passion and love!

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beanghostprincess · 3 months

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*elegantly set's a tea set in a beautiful table* no, let's make it about Sanuso, let's talk about Usopp having his hair down and how that affects Sanji.

Especially if they're not dating yet, I need pathetic Sanji pinning do I have so many thoughts about that, like him going out of the kitchen to give the girls their treats and everyone is looking at Usopp who is just drawing by the deck letting the wind blow his hair, Sanji having to go back to the kitchen because he's having a crisis over how beautiful he looked, him realising he might be gay and being in denial for a while.

Usopp letting his hair down more often and Snaji not being able to handle it so he avoids Usopp.

Nami noticing and trying to match them.

You are a person of culture I want to know your views on this

Oh, okay. Let's make it about Sanuso then *sips tea* (very funny because I am actually drinking tea right now 😭)

Usopp starts to let his hair down more often. Pretty much all the time, actually, unless he truly needs to see properly (when he's fighting or working). So whenever they're not doing anything important, he decides to leave the ponytails and bandanas aside to let his hair loose a little. So, on regular days in the Sunny or whenever they're on a calm island, Usopp's hair is undone.

And that's killing Sanji. It's not that he refuses to admit he likes men. Because. Well- Okay, it's a bit hard for him to admit he likes men. But he doesn't like Usopp. It's just that the sniper looks so ethereal and so gorgeous with his hair undone that it's really, really hard not to focus on him. But he doesn't like like him (that's what he calls it. Because Sanji has the mentality of a fifteen-year-old high school girl in a 2000s teenage rom-com). Except that he definitely "like likes" Usopp because he has never felt this way before and it still happens whenever he looks like he always does. It's just that his hair being long and falling over his shoulders like a chocolate fountain makes him feel all over the place. He ends up accepting that, well, he likes Usopp. Somehow. In some way that is not platonic but it isn't love either. Because it can't be love. Because it would make things uncomfortable between them and he can't let himself ruin the friendship they have. They're so close now. Usopp is probably his best friend out of everybody in the crew and the one who understands him the best. The one he trusts the most for his secrets and deep, intimate conversations in the middle of the night. So he's not risking all of that for a simple, silly crush. Because it's just that, a simple silly crush that will go away the second he gets his shit together.

But it doesn't happen, because Usopp keeps walking around looking oh so beautiful, and Sanji doesn't think he can keep doing this.

He tries to be subtle about it, always telling Usopp if it wouldn't be more comfortable to use one of his bandanas or tie his hair. He's always giving him hats and other possibilities that do not include letting his hair undone. But Usopp is always refusing with a gentle smile because he prefers it this way. He says he appreciates Sanji's concern, but it's fine and it isn't bothersome at all. He likes his hair long and free and wild! And Sanji agrees. He likes it too. But he likes it too much to focus on his daily tasks, and every day seems to be getting harder and harder.

It's even worse in the mornings when Usopp hasn't done his hair routine and hasn't showered yet and his hair is all messy and all over his face. It makes Sanji melt instantly, every time he sees him walking through the kitchen door. Usopp never seems to notice Sanji's reaction, but he always blushes uncontrollably and blames still being half-asleep for his stuttering. Besides, the fact that the guy moves around shirtless all the time with his abs and tits out for everybody to see does not help Sanji at all. He needs a break.

Okay, so the easiest and quickest way of dealing with this is obvious: Let's just ignore the shit out of Usopp. Awesome. Super clever behavior. (<- Running away from your problems but your problems your very hot best friend you're in love with and his long, precious hair).

And Nami notices because Nami isn't stupid. She knows something's going on and she knows it's because of Usopp's hair because, again, she isn't blind and she can tell when Sanji is acting dumb. So she tries to set them up by being silly and a little bitch like always.

Sanji is cooking (his demons away. His demons being his very gaygay feelings for Uso-) and he has been ignoring Usopp for a while now. Not ignoring, per se, just not being with him much? And Usopp can tell but he doesn't think much about it because Sanji just gets like that sometimes. He'll go back to being himself. It's fine (it's not). So Sanji doesn't expect Usopp to come into the kitchen now, because he thought he was hanging out with Nami and that's why he guessed it'd be a good time to cook without any risk of Usopp coming in here. Guess who was completely wrong? Anyway- Sanji is a bit nervous at first because he has realized (fucking finally) that his feelings for Usopp are something real and tangible and he can't escape from them unless he ignores them. But he tries to act like a normal person with normal thoughts (he is not).

When Usopp asks him his question, Sanji is a bit confused and all his worries fade away suddenly:

Sanji: Coconut oil? What do you want coconut oil for? Usopp: Nami said it'd be good for my hair. Sanji: For your hair. Usopp: Yes? Thought you'd know about it with how obsessed you are with food- Sanji: Yes, Usopp, I- I know about the properties of coconut oil. But I am not letting you use it. Usopp: What? Why?! Sanji: Because! We don't have that much left and I wanted to make cookies for the girl- Usopp: Aha? Sanji: And you. The crew. Shut up. The point is, even if you could use it once without wasting it completely until the next island, I don't trust you with my ingredients, and- Usopp: Then you do it. Sanji: What? Usopp: Just put it on my hair. It can't be that hard for you. C'mon. Sanji: And does it have to be now? Usopp: Not really, but Nami keeps talking about it every damn second and she's getting on my nerves. If I don't do it now she won't shut up. Sanji: Usopp, I- Can't you see I'm busy? Usopp: You're cooking dinner at 3pm, Sanji. You're not busy. Sanji: I'm not sure if this is- Usopp: Please? Please. I will do anything. Sanji: You know I can't fight you when you say that. It makes me feel guilty. Like kicking a reindeer. Usopp: Nah, you'd kick Chopper if you needed to but you can't say no to my beautiful eyes. Sanji: Do you want your hair oiled or do you prefer ending up bald? Usopp: You won't do that. C'mon! Get on with the coconut oil! Sanji: Right now? Usopp: Please? Sanji: You're insufferable. Usopp: You love me.

And Sanji isn't brave enough to say that yes, he does love him.

So he does whatever Usopp says, and follows him to the bathroom. He kind of feels he's about to have a heart attack right now when he sees Usopp washing his hair first for this. It's too erotic. He can't look. He won't look. But Usopp is talking to him about some stuff he did with Luffy earlier. Fishing? Playing a game? Whatever, Sanji is not listening to him. He's trying so, so hard not to stare at him. The time passes and the cook miraculously does not die. His heartbeat is still going wild, though, especially when Usopp sits in front of him with his damp hair for Sanji to start working. He should've said no. He really should've just said no. But he sits behind him anyway and stares at Usopp's wide back being decorated with his silky, curly strands of hair. It's hypnotizing. Sanji even thinks it's inappropriate to touch Usopp's hair with how precious it is. He feels like he's unworthy of this. But Usopp won't stop telling him to do it already, and Sanji thinks that if he starts now he will finish sooner.

To not make this extremely long: Long story short, Sanji doesn't die. Usopp keeps talking and talking and it actually feels really nice after a minute. Usopp always has this talent for making Sanji comfortable anywhere they're at and at any time. He has missed this, after a long time of ignoring him. And Usopp seems to be enjoying it too, apparently. He keeps saying how good it smells and how hungry it's making him. And Sanji responds with a "mm. Perhaps I let you have a bite of those cookies after all" / "You were going to do it anyway" / "You don't know that" / "Nah, I know". And he hates admitting that Usopp is right.

When they're done, Usopp thanks Sanji, and Sanji wishes, deep inside, that they had to be together longer. Oh. But then Usopp comments something like "Fuck. I need to dry my hair" / "Huh. And the problem? You wanted this in the first place" / "I knoooow. But it's so tiring. It used to be easier when I had shorter hair" / "I could help you" / "What?" / "What?" / "Do you want to dry my hair?" / "What? No. I did not- Not if you don't-" / "No. That'd- That'd be nice. Thank you, Sanji".

That's when he knows he's fucked, because it's the first time that he almost says "I love you" out loud and he has to bite his tongue to not let his heart speak for him.

So basically, Sanji helps Usopp dry his hair. It's intimate. It's sweet. Sanji isn't that nervous after all, because Usopp never shuts up and he realizes his favorite sound is whenever he's speaking. That he actually hates drying his hair because the loud sounds make him unable to hear Usopp properly, but also loves it because Usopp is letting him take care of something as important as his hair. And they're also so, so close... But he doesn't think about it. He won't think about it.

But he inevitably thinks about it when they finish, Usopp's hair a bit all over the place, but extremely beautiful and even shinier than usual. It seems softer, too. Sanji can't help but want to touch it. There's this silence between them but it isn't at all uncomfortable, even if it makes Sanji turn all red and laugh in a way he never thought he could.

Usopp looks at Sanji a bit shyly and says: "Sorry for making you do all of this. I think I've forced you a little, right?" / "What? No! I did it because I wanted to. Although you could've certainly been less intense about the oil thing, but- But it was nice."

But then the sniper shrugs, looking away with a look that clearly tells Sanji he's thinking about something way too hard. "Do you think I should cut my hai-" / "No! ...I mean. Why would you do that? I think it looks great. And you like it. A lot." / "I dunno. It's very high maintenance? I wouldn't want to waste all your ingredients on thi-" / "I don't think it'd be a waste. Not if it's-" / "Mm?" / "It's just- Nothing. I just think it'd be a crime for you to cut it. We can just buy more oils. For your hair, specifically. And if you ever don't feel like taking care of it, I think I did a pretty good job" / "Don't be stupid. You don't want to take care of-" / "Yes, I do. I would, I mean. If you wanted to. It's relaxing. Like cooking but without the eating part" / "Are you thinking about cooking my hair?" / "Kind of looks like a chocolate fountain" / "That's the only thing that comes to your mind when you look at me?"

A loose strand of hair ends on Usopp's face, but he does nothing about it. Sanji acts instinctively, moving it away and placing it behind his ear. "Not the only thing."

And I wish I could say they kiss, but it probably ends there. Sanji realizes what he said and makes up an excuse to run to the kitchen while he leaves Usopp all confused, blushing, and like a complete mess on the bathroom floor.

When the sniper gets out of there, Nami winks at him and says "Your hair looks softer, huh? Did the extra hands help too, besides the coconut oil?" And he doesn't know if to yell at her or thank her.

#me and my three ways of writing dialogue on a same tumblr post bc i couldn't decide what the fuck i wanted to do #look i wake up early tomorrow and i needed to write this quickly i hope you like this rushed thing 😭😭#also anon i love you but now i want to write and i don't have the time aghhhh #this is such a great idea love you for the undone hair thing it makes me go insane #sanji is so real because i would literally die #nami is a little bitch and i love her #one piece #black leg sanji #usopp #sanuso #cat burglar nami

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hopeinthebox · 2 months

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tagged by the gorgeous and fabulous @cordiallyfuturedwight and @aprylynn for february's roundup:

tagging the usual music favs: @jiminsproof @thvinyl @jimin-gaon @visionsofgideontheninth @spicyclematis @kimchokejin @jihopesjoint @monismochi plus @kimtaegis for the amy macdonald of it all 💜 and also you, dear reader. MWAH

#heads up! here comes the director's commentary:#16 Carriages - now listen. i love texas hold 'em as much as the next daddy lessons supremacist #but holy shit. it doesn't hold so much as a candle to this track.#just unbelievably stunning. i'm begging you to give it another chance if you skipped over it the first time #Don't Forget Me - me and kayla and apryl all having ms rogers in this month's list... i think we might be better than everyone else actuall #End Of Beginning - good GOD we couldn't gatekeep djo any longer but it's worth it if only for all the bear tiktok edits.#and thus i have fallen for this track all over again. yes CHEF #Showtime - now if you've known me long enough you'll know i'm an absolute sucker for british indie rock bands #especially if their frontman looks like they might not make it through another winter #so you can imagine catfish has had an inexplicable hold on me. anyway their comeback single is actually pretty good #This Is The Life - fantastic tune. 2007 if you can believe it?#what a time to be alive and at the school disco and you're singing the songs and thinking this is the life and so on and so forth #Loving You Will Be The Death Of Me - tom odell can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?) anyway. lovely lovely new album #Never Need Me - been loving rachel for a while now and this single is brilliant. highly recommended.#plus the video features florence pugh and if that doesn't sweeten the deal then christ i don't know what will #Baby Now That I've Found You - i didn't even realise this was a cover of the foundations until hearing it again recently #because alison krauss just has an incredible way of making them her own and thus it's been on repeat.#Deeper Well - okay so now i'm seeing the country thread through this month's picks.#this is another lovely new one. hearing it on the radio and the fact that they have to censor “i used to wake and bake” is hilarious to me #shoutout kayla again because great minds..#Stay For Something - CMAT is phenomenal and if you haven't listened to her yet i can't recommend her entire discography enough.#she had her arsecrack out at the brits last night and well. i would die for her #(speaking of the brits. raye... i literally cried for her. go find the recording of her live at the royal albert hall.#-watch it twice and then come back and thank me)#artists-wise - most of these guys are consistently up there.#katie melua is a new feature this time because all my amy macdonald-ing put me back onto nine million bicycles.#used to get that one mixed up with 99 luftballoons but they're really very different. i'm a fool #so tl;dr: fantastic tunes. do listen #tag #receiptify

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breadclubrising · 10 months

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idc enough to rip and upload the video or see if anyone has posted it already

but this video of kenny saying he went somewhere (not canada!) to "recruit an old friend" who is "near and dear", I would have thought was going to be a swerve, like 'yep, my old friend YUJIRO 'THE TOKYO PIMP' TAKAHASHI'...

i WOULD HAVE thought that IF i had not seen kenneth's lil smile when people IMMEDIATELY started cheering when he said "old friend who is near and dear to my heart." he also threw in what appear to be a bashful head drop and a trying-not-to-get-choked-up voice when he started talking again. even in this shitty lil twitter vid from someone's phone, that smile looks real enough to convince me to tune into blood & guts in a couple weeks.

#kenny omega #golden lovers trutherism #my horrible little desiccated heart was like [limmy waking up meme] do i need to care about wrestling again #and i mean yes yes golden lovers absolutely but also IBUSHI KOTA TRUTHERISM TBH!!!!!! can't have the former w/o the latter babey!#two great tastes that taste great together #two heartwrenching longings of my wrestling fan heart that do flanking damage together #either it's ibushi so kenny's in his feelings OR he knows the people THINK it's going to be ibushi and he's having feelings about THAT #either way these strike me as likely ibushi feelings #ugh fine i will pay slightly closer attention to aew for a couple weeks #no disrespect to yujiro 'the tokyo p*mp' takahashi #in fact mad respect to yujiro 'the tokyo p*mp' takahashi #(do we still need to censor swears and bot words in the tags so that our posts will show up in people's tracked tags?)#(like one time i had the word f*cial in the tags and the post got filtered out. took me forever to figure out what did it)

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revvethasmythh · 7 months

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actually crazy how much I'm enjoying the heroic durge path thus far. like it's actually a shame I always hear people talk about durge as something they save for an evil run because if you are an angst enjoyer, this is simply one of the finest vintages I've had in a while. like, the limitless internal conflict, not knowing who you are, not knowing if you want to know who you were, trying to be a good person but fearing you never can be. Something is forcing you to do terrible things and you can't control it, so where does that end? is your determination to be better than your impulses stronger than the monster inside of you? what happens if you lose control and just keep falling? that's SEXY. that's fucking catnip for me personally, I'm literally living my best life rn

#I multiclassed as a cleric of tymora (because I love her) but also because: goddess of gamblers #if you know you can kill in your sleep every night is a gamble #what will happen when I close my eyes? will everyone still be alive when I wake up?#every time you put a weapon in your hand it's a gamble #will I kill the enemy? or will I lose control and harm an ally?#flip the coin. find out #the shadow cursed lands are also like. horrifyingly fantastic in general if you are an angst enjoyer (so far)#the stupid ambush where the enemies separate everyone in the party? INSANE. LOVED IT. everyone almost DIED. it was FANTASTIC #I was never more glad that 3/4 of my party members are able to cast misty step #and even THEN it was a struggle to get them able to cast!#delightful. still not over it. great fight no notes #I am having a GREAT time can you tell #rosie plays video games poorly #squad without the s

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sysig · 3 days

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Giving nicknames, testing boundaries (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #Max Vyer #Dexter Favin #How /did/ Max come to like him so much in just two years? I have my theories :3 #More Teen Max!! Nothing has changed I just continue to love him lol #Two years is a pretty quick turnaround for such a stubborn kid - though I guess for a child two years can be a long time haha #Went from just hating Dex's guts of trying to drive him away and make him quit and hating being kept on a short leash #Does make me wonder how much of him kissing him was an impulse - I mean obviously lol but how much was genuine attraction!#Certainly seemed like a lot :0 Even upon being rejected he couldn't give it up! Still took him another several years to act again tho haha #I mean - in the text lol who knows what they got up to in the time skips hehe ♪#AnyWay lol - them getting used to each other of slowly working into tolerating each other #Max said something in one of his wake-ups that as I read it implied Dexter was something of a polyglot?? Which - love that ♪#If not conversationally-fluent then at tourist-fluent y'know I think that's great <3 #Which got me thinking about other languages and insults and curses haha #I like the idea of Dex only really strong-arming Max about Actual deviant behaviour - something that puts himself or others at risk #Harmless little things like any teen would do - like name-calling! Haha - just get a kind of neutral ''Huh''#As well as interest <3 Not an outright dismissal not a lecture but at least the appearance of investment!#Considering Max's home life I can't imagine he had all that many people genuinely (or fake) interested in his shenanigans #All about suppressing the symptoms more than rooting out the cause it's amazing what just showing a little interest can do #I also just think it's cute of Max getting away with something silly and harmless but totally biting and mean! <in his mind haha #Silly lad <3

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ccuriousmischieff · 8 days

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#you what’s sooooooo stupid?? having a good day and going to bed feeling great about yourself and then waking up the next day and you’re back #to square one feeling like garbage.like no one should give you the time of day. nothing.#I fucking hate it

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tinyetoile · 2 months

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The perks of having a near-identical long-forgotten great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great aunt suddenly wake up is that you can get her to sit in for you during your portrait-painting sessions and go do something else instead.

This will in no way confuse future historians about your appearance, or spark a conspiracy theory that you swapped places with her and ran off to journey through the kingdom once her existence is revealed after your death.

#legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #legend of zelda hyrule fantasy #hyrule fantasy #legend of zelda adventure of link #adventure of link #princess zelda #hyrule fantasy zelda #adventure of link zelda #for those wondering: thats 15 greats #the yuu mishouzaki manga says HF zelda is zelda the 17th IIRC and that 400 years have passed since zelda the first's time #so thats what i'm using as their numbers #since HF zelda and AOL zelda both use the same design in most official art #this is my way of giving a watsonian reason for it lmao #i'm writing a fic about what zelda the 1st got up to after waking up but its slow going...

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fiendishartist2 · 8 months

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everybody knows that, nobody knows that, everybody's in on everybody's business- petscop

Paul adjusted his position on the floor, leaning back in his chair. It creaked under his weight, a high whine that showed its age. His back was aching, but he resolved himself to just put up with it. Anna had set up the room before he got here and Paul really didn't want to talk to her any more than he had to; so now he's stuck, sitting on a wooden chair in the dark, in the guest bedroom of his childhood home. He relaxed as much as he could and sighed, tired of hours of mindless exploration. Looking at his spread of half-written questions and hastily scribbled drawings, Paul couldn't help but feel like he was running in place, getting nowhere while tiring himself out.

"Paul!"

Paul jumped from his seat, heart racing at the unexpected shout. Anna was yelling for him– Anna never raised her voice if she could help it. The sound made Paul want to flee.

Paul hurried to the living room, heart in his throat despite himself. His constricted lungs wheezed with shallow breaths as he padded around in search of Anna. He spotted her dirty blond hair, lifeless against the black-painted walls, before he realised it was her. She stood over the kitchen table, setting down three sets of plates and cutlery. She smiled as Paul approached her, eyes crinkling.

Through the haze, the tinny sound of Petscop's demo theme reached Paul's ears.

He rubbed a hand down his face, skewing his glasses,"Jeez, calm down..."

"Would you answer the door, dear?" Anna asked sweetly, drawing out the last word. Paul grimaced openly at her misplaced care, but obliged. There was no reason to start a fight with Anna and ruin the fragile relationship she thought they had. He trudged towards the front door, swinging it open carelessly.

Out of the darkness, a pair of arms wrapped around Paul tightly, holding him to the chest of the intruder. Paul let out a scream, his earlier fear realised. He struggled against their grip, pushing against his unknown attacker. He felt rabid, consumed by the instinct to kick and scratch at any opening he saw– to scream and cry and beg to be let go. Eventually, he shoved them off, stumbling back into the house.

The figure guffawed in the doorway. They stepped into the hallway light, revealing a tall, broad woman with limp brown curls resting on the shoulders of her worn wool coat. Her big smile and laugh lined face were mocking in their mirth. The woman removed her blue mittens and wiped her eyes.

"Oh-oh you should have seen your face!" She shouted, "Fifteen years and you're still just as funny, Carrie."

Paul startled as Anna touched his shoulder lightly. She sidled next to him and pulled the other woman into a hug.

Anna squeezed his shoulder when they separated, "You remember your auntie Jill, right?"

Paul wrung his hands.

"Um-"

Jill loudly cut him off, "Look at how you've grown! Last I saw you, you were barely 3 feet tall!" She moved forward and attempted to ruffle Paul's unruly hair, easily brushing off how he jerked away from her. Jill elbowed Anna.

"Our little girl's back home, eh Annie?" Anna laughed lightly. Across from them, Paul's stomach lurched, a wave of nausea hitting him suddenly.

"Oh- uh- I'm not, um, who you think I am." Paul's monotone voice cut through their banter. Stiffly, he raised his hand in a meek wave, "I'm Paul."

Paul sighed and joined Anna and Jill in the kitchen. He sat at the table, choosing to sit alone across from them. Anna had obviously planned for this dinner; in the middle of the table sat a stained cast-iron pot, potatoes and chicken floating around in a deep orange sauce, chunks of onion and garlic stuck to the bottom. A bottle of name-brand sparkling water stood next to it, an assortment of mismatched mugs huddled around.

"Huh. Well Ca-" she stopped, letting out a short cough, "Paul, it's nice to see you again."

The two women walked into the kitchen, leaving Paul alone at the door. He ran a hand through his hair, catching on a knot at the back– of course the family had to come visit and of course none of them knew he was actually a man. It wasn't like he ever actually wanted to talk to any of them. Although he barely remembers an "aunt Jill", he understands who she must have been to him when he was still Anna's kid– irritating and abrasive.

Paul’s gaze drifted to the empty air next to him. Something was missing. In four general areas, the table sported white burn rings where too-hot bowls and plates had sat carelessly. Two on one side and two on the other. But for whatever reason, one of the chairs was missing. He stared into the void it left behind, flooded by vague memories of full tables. Someone sat there, he's sure of it, but now the space was only occupied by their absence. It made his heart race just looking at it.

"Paul?"

Broken from his stupor, Paul blinked wildly to reorient himself in the present. Anna frowned and got up to stand Paul's side, rubbing his back with her bony hand. The skin under her hand crawled.

"Are you okay?" Anna cooed. He nudged her arm away and forced a smile on his lips, refusing the urge to scratch at his eyebrows.

"Yeah, I'm- I'm fine."

Paul had the feeling they knew he was lying.

Anna served them all without a word.

After a few minutes of eating in silence, Jill spoke up, "How's- how've you been? Y'know since- since you went to live with uh... y'know." Her loud voice was awkward and cautious, speaking around the toothy grimace that had fixed itself to her face. Anna frowned at her food.

Paul wasn't really sure what she wanted him to say– how could he condense fifteen years into one sentence?

Jill nodded, "That's right, Belle's college aged now, isn't she?" She paused for a second, sneaking a look at Anna, "How about you? Are ya' in school for anything?" Anna's excited grin emerged from her staring contest with her plate and she looked hopefully at Paul.

"Um. Fine, I guess." He winced, that sounded even worse than Jill's attempt. He wracked his jumbled brain for something else to say. Pride bloomed in his chest as he thought about his family.

"B-Belle's in school for- uh- to be a chemist." Paul took a long sip of sparkling water in lieu of replying further. It tasted bitter.

Under her joyful gaze, he squirmed; of course she was only interested in hearing about Paul– a fact that both made him deeply uncomfortable and indignant on Belle's behalf. He stabbed a potato, swirling it around on his plate. Eventually, he offered up a monotone, "No."

Anna leaned forward onto the table, her smile dripping with pity, "Aw, honey, why not? Don't you want to get a good job? You were so smart when you were little. Have a little faith in yourself!" Paul curled in on himself.

"I don't do well in school. Mom thinks I should take my time instead of feeling pressured into going." Paul replied shortly.

Anna's face scrunched like she had been punched square in the nose. Red hot embarrassment flooded her face in a vicious flush.

Jill suddenly clapped her hands and everyone at the table flinched, "Well! That was great." She picked up their empty dishes and stood abruptly from the table, "Thank you, Anna, for the meal. It was delicious." She placed the dishes into the sink and they clashed with the sharp sound of ceramic. Paul jumped violently at the noise.

"It was nice to see you again, Paul." With that, Jill hoisted Anna out of her seat and pulled her into the living room, patting her back and drying her tears with her sweater.

Paul watched Anna weep into Jill's shoulder and couldn’t make himself feel sympathetic. Of course, he felt weird that she was upset, the sight of her crying face sparking that familiar twisting fear in his gut. But those crocodile tears always reared their ugly head when she wanted to push and pull his emotions. Anna said she would never want to hurt him, ignoring just how well she had guilted Paul into handing over the channel and subsequently moving back in with her.

He placed his full plate gently on top of the others, shuddering at the way the delicate plates scraped with the threat of shattering. He crept back upstairs.

It had barely been one whole day and Paul could already feel himself getting sick of this family.

#hey....... whats up guys #smile #im back on my bullshit for like the 4th time. you should all used to this by now #i love thinking about paul being trapped in his childhood home with the family :) its so fun and sillay. im sure hes having a great time #wake up petscop fans i rewrote another petscop fic!!!! this should give you reprieve for like 10 minutes max #my hands hurt and im hungry but its not dinner time for another hour so im gonna go occupy myself #my fic #petscop #paul petscop #paul leskowitz #anna leskowitz #petscop anna #jill mark #petscop jill #sorry for inconsistent tags i forgot which way ive been tagging these things #petscop fic #once again im naming a petscop fic after the most petscop song ever: well better than the alternative by will wood

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