#what kind of autistic person are you?

[misty-doodles]

I've made my first uQuiz today. it's nothing much, but i'd be honored if you'd give it a try and tell me what you think. :)

#uqizzes #my uquiz #personality uquiz #what kind of autistic person are you? #autistic feels #autistic things #asd #uquiz.com #short uquiz #self promo #misty writes

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain #so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash #i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent #what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving #is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt #and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists #so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character #so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of #'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him' #but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid #and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like #the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of #being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths #then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part #and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts #and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine #this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer #and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like #how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil #and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit #like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma #but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel #and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple #bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed #but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal

[spaciebabie]

shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name

#bruh lmao #so awkward. say something you dingus lol #ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already #gyatt #spacie spoinks #literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like #heres the thing #if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate #im like a vampire like that #and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now #like dude sdkfjshlkdfj #im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic) #am i gonna hafta say something. lol #probably #''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.'' #cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭 #also like. this person has been staring at me lol #which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful #for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!! #its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks #im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin #i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs #i dont wanna put her on the spot #the only time i see her is when im in class #and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd

[ourhouseishaunted]

people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"

#.txt #dungeon meshi #laios #like. okay. i think its a very autistic experience to Want People In Your Life So Badly but because you act differently and have a hard time #with social cues you dont get that easy friendship and it sucks and youre lonely as hell #<- source: im autistic #but ALSO. i think some people forget that missing social cues genuinely makes you rude. even if you dont mean it #intent goes a long way but sometimes the autistic experience is realizing that Unfortunately You May Have Been A Dick #or that being intense or overbearing or disregarding boundries you dont know are there Drives People Away #like idk i think wanting people to look deeper and see whats worthwhile about you while also realizing youve unintentionally #driven people away #and that you can be misunderstood AND need to improve how you treat people #is an interesting story (growing as a person while also understanding that you were worthwhile the whole time even if others didnt see it) #on TOP of being a. idk more true to life autism expereince at least for me #and characters who have these kinds of arcs are really fascinating to me and i think theres a lot of nuance to them #and idk it sucks when people try to act as if lack of malicious intent suddenly means everyone who doesnt love you unconditionally is wrong #to be clear sometimes its not the Neurodivergentisms that drive ppl away sometimes its smth else #but idk i find more nuanced approaches to characters like this feel much more engaging to me and its lame when it seems like ppl go out #of their way to remove nuance from characters :/

[scrollingfan]

The struggle of being albino and autistic when it's bright out

(Now redrawn here!)

#yes Deon's albino yes he's autistic I don't make the rules #do you think a neurotypical person could do what he does? didn't think so #intkot #i'm not that kind of talent #fanart #art #doodle #deon hardt #deon hart #demon arut

[craycraybluejay]

Transphobes get off my blog, transandrophobes especially. In fact go hate queers with the evangelical white moms who have coincidentally the same talking points as you about trans men.

#the venn diagram between terfs and baeddels is a circle but no one wants to talk about that #because that would mean no longer using trans men as a silent punching bag the same way yall do with aro/ace people #except its worse because aro/ace people arent necessarilt dysphoric and you go out of your way to misgender/degender trans people #istg transfem baeddels hate me and people like me MORE than cis right wing extremists #which is crazy to me #how are you managing to outhate people whose entire identity is hate #leave trans men alone and stop re-enacting transphobic sexism genuinely what is your problem #insular microcommunities of hate often turn into cults (see: antis) #and you can say we're evil for being trans in the wrong direction but we are literally just living our lives and you are isolating yourself #in a community that encourages transphobia #and no doubt yall treat the Wrong Kind of trans woman or transfem like shit too #literally transphobe central on tumblr #transandrophobia #'im going to bully trans men because theyre the easiest group to bully and get away with it' #how are you different from literally every other person who promotes hate #i just know y'all bullied the 'slow' kid in school and went 'well im autistic or something and not Like That so its fine' #'he deserves it' #but he didn't. and you said he has it easier cause teachers pay special attention to him but he DOESN'T

[grammarpedant]

sometimes you'll see a post about autistic-allistic social thinking mismatch and you'll be like, this would be such a scintillating observation of how human society works, if it weren't for the fact that I have to add an asterisk and a note that the poster's background is probably most letters of W.E.I.R.D. (White, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, Democratic) to the whole thing

as an American poc, I am always and forever shaking hands with my non-American acquaintances here on tunglr.hell and embodying that one gif of the Asian man going "your experiences are not universal"

#verso talks #vent post #the w.e.i.r.d. acronym is a shorthand for all sorts of other intersectional factors that affect a person's experience of allistic society #not just race and socioeconomic background but also. quite simply. what generation you grew up in #in general I think that both autistic and allistic people are stupid to think of social behavioral expectations in terms of rules #it's not rules it's principles and consequences. #every social behavior is a communication of Some Meaning (such as principles) to an allistic. arguably that's just how society works #and a behavior that will get you punished in one situation will get a pass or even praise if you gain certain kinds of power or privilege #figuring out which is which in what situation is a goddamn pain because if you aren't already allistic #then you need to build the framework in which these social principles exist and can become actionable consciously and from scratch #or else just memorize a list of a million rules and their caveats I guess. whatever works

[brittlebutch]

finding a character that grates against your nerves and eventually thinking, well, that's not fair, you haven't done anything; why do i dislike you? and then you dwell on this for a while and discover 'oh! you are like me when i was younger' and decide well, i'll simply learn how to love the both of you. power in this.

#N posts stuff #'what are you talking about?' fuck if i know. #but also i'm talking about penny from 'the 7' -- nosy little control freak determined to find Some foothold into Every conversation #it's interesting bc sometimes when i watch i'm like 'this character is played on the Border of metagaming' but the more i think abuot it #the less it Feels like metagaming bc penny Genuinely seems Exactly like the kind of person who just Is That Determined to be #some level of involved in Every situation; 'yeah i know that show you were in' 'Yeah i was listening into this scene from a different hall' #equal parts her being a Rogue character to her core AND her borderline pathological need for control in Every situation #w/ None of the social grace needed to temper this impulse into something more broadly 'palatable' -> very autistic to me in a way #'i don't Get It but if i'm Always Right then that's good bc it's Bad to be Wrong so i just have to Know Everything so that i'm Never Wrong' #or like 'no i don't understand the Rules right but if i can just Be In Charge of the Situation at all times then i'm the one domineering #where this is going and how it unfolds; like if i'm in charge i understand That at least so i will just Always be in charge' #and sometimes this starts fights with your friends and they call you a freak for it and you're like 'hm. i don't know what's going on #but if You said it and You Get People then you must be right so. i will alter this immediately' but penny doesn't have that interaction #because her friends are just like 'yeah i love you And that batshit way of interacting with the world that you embody' and there is a #temptation of sorts to be like 'penny you HAVE to stop that; you NEED to learn that lesson please' but then like. hm. does she? #much to think about. i don't interact w/ people enough anymore for this to impact my interactions with real people lol #but it Is interesting to peel apart a fictional character and find a Younger You in there. i can change how i think about Them at least

[rapidreptile]

the cruelty of being told your natural existence isn't the correct way to be... is also my favorite horror trope

#it's one of the only kinds of horror that feels horrible to me #the whole 'oh you're not right. we need to assimilate you to how we think you should be' thing #is kinda just what it's like to exist as an autistic person

[chushanye]

"my interpretation is more meaningful than yours" this "___ piece of media is objectively bad" that. yeah, well have you considered I'm having fun? 🤨 have you considered that I strive to be joyful rather than striving to prove the worth of my opinions? 🙄

#analysis of meaning is great but dont let art elitism/perfectionism convince you you need to have the ultimate and perfect #reading or interpretation #or that the joy and entertainment you derive from a piece of media is directly correlated with how intellectual you can be about it #sometimes the goal is just entertainment #and thats okay #this is not to discourage media literacy or criticism of any kind #but it is to discourage people making others feel bad for not being #'smart enough to understand the TRUE interpretation of xyz' #like some of you are starting to sound like rick and morty 'you need a high IQ for this show' dudebros #esp when you say shit like 'cant ppl do better analysis then a 3rd grader' for shit that literally comes down to personal opinion #like ik some ppl miss the entire point of a piece very often and i find that frustrating too #but lets be real some of yall just attack other peoples interpretations cause they contradict your own #and not cause theyre actually problematic or misinterpretations #'a nihilist reading of this character is much more meaningful than an autistic reading' what if i killed you #both is good. jesus i thought yall liked bisexuals. #I AM SLAPPING A COEXIST STICKER ON YOUR FOREHEAD but instead of religious symbols its fandom #multiple readings can exist at once please ppl for gods sake #fandom #long notes #important

[simcardiac-arrested]

#i wouldnt usually care about stuff like this. but every month or so i get two or three asks like this and i just got one earlier today #and look. i’m not saying u can’t hate ns or dislike them. feel free to send me asks that are like ‘ns you are stupid and you suck and i hate #you’ he IS stupid and he DOES suck and he is quite hateable. that’s fine #it’s just when you start sending me wholeass paragraphs explaining every single detail you hate about ns and how they deserve a slow and #painful death that i think two things: 1. you are finite waves reincarnated 2. you are weird! and strange even! #what are you on about! ns absolutely does NOT deserve a slow and painful death! and you absolutely do Not have to be so hostile and #aggressive towards them as a character! like Please relax. we serve bullshit here sir #most anti-ns asks i get are funny and are light hearted because it’s just people messing with ns on purpose or mocking him and making him #mad because he easily gets mad and it’s funny. Like those asks are fine. it’s another deal entirely when you send me this detailed and— #honestly—really mean message. I guess i am not surprised considering how similar ns and pebbles are in terms of personality #(and circumstances somewhat) and we all know how the fandom treats pebbles. even worse than ns. but yeah anyway #they are not an irredeemable unforgivable monster and they do not deserve to die. Hope this helps #to me even calling them a Bad Person is kind of a stretch. let alone the shit some of you are saying about them #we have to get normal about mentally ill and traumatized and autistic characters gang! #crammerposting #i also do not appreciate when people insuniate that ns is stupid for overworking himself and damaging his structure and so on and so forth #yes it is his fault but that didn’t mean he deserved what he had coming to him or anything like that. be nice to him

[neonbuck]

when i was in my early 20s i was determined to NEVER be passive aggressive. then i quickly learned why people end up having to choose passive aggression over the regular kind

#.txt #i hated it when people were passive aggressive to me #but it turns out that when you make it unsafe to be honest thats just what people will do #it really only makes sense. but this takes way too long to figure out if you are autistic. #you have to figure out ways to be honest but also kind #AND you have to figure out how to be the kind of person your friends feel safe to be honest toward

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

noooo you can let me describe the doctors body trust me i totally wont be weird about it this time

#me explaining why the doctor is hot: well theyre old enough to be my messiah so jot that down #also a body thats died many times #me opening the powerpoint: so before we begin hands up how many of you have spent more time than you should thinking abt jesus' body #church was like and this is body of christ and me being 7 and autistic took that in every way they DIDNT mean #anyway sorry yaz not sure what exactly the sin is here but im pretty sure uhhh it is one #its usually the master doing this #but yaz is taking the masters place in this fic so #that tracks i guess #gonna have to figure out how to take the pronouns out of this too #also look at the third person/second person flipflopping #i do that kind of a lot but i realised in this paragraph maybe thats because..........there isnt a third person imperative uhh mode? #is that a mode we call that idk #there ISNT a third person imperative right? thats just second person? #i think so #but its interesting bc thats like the main way my narration flipflops #idk if thats like bad. bad writer habit or whatever #if it is i dont really care #it doesnt bother ME so #idk if it bothers anyone else #one time i had a fun paragraph in the doctors pov where it went from its standard 3rd to 2nd to 1st. 1st plural i think #and then Back to 3rd distance yourself from yourself dont get too close #anyway

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also the Biggest Eternalest Moods

#cagey things unite #not a lot is more distilledly; viscerally Autistacity Moments than mordecai in stressed mode italicized Please Don't Touch Me #the striking verisimilitude. let's squop; boys #truly beautiful again that these two have met over brunch & politely declined to interact w/each other in the least. reasonable #real recognition of ''don't bother this person at all Or straightup start shooting'' approach #fun; enriching; perhaps informative to juxtapose these two as well.... #for one thing you could count ''did you kill your dad'' handshake b/w them #if you suppose that [mordecai is most driven by grief for atlas] as a ''that was his dad'' kind of situation #sounds like he was off to a terrible start as one if it was predicated by tossing mordecai into the crucible of Learn By Doing hitmannery #but like ''oh perfect you already know your lines'' type [terrible fatherhood? realism points] #though not like we know what mordecai's definite actual dad was like. don't want to insult him. just that he died & all #and maybe also a younger sibling too....noted a Family Photo ft. his mom with a baby in addition to his other younger sisters #and the picture taken by whom. likely as anything his dad then.... #personally i lean towards [mordecai kind of in love w/atlas] but many things fulfill the Aggrieved By His Death peak relevant situation #lackadaisy #and i do have that marigold bowling team post fr lol. just have to like; make it #autistic cagey things unite even harder

[perenlop]

yeah its important to have interests that arent just for children as an adult because at the end of the day it’s good for you and the way you percieve media overall to have a variety of things that you like but like you also shouldnt make fun of adults who are passionate about childrens media and imply theyre stupid for it. i think both of these takes can exist at once

#i dont like how some people are taking ''read a book for adults'' as ''do this so you are less cringe and stupid in my opinion'' #rather than ''do so because its genuinely good for you'' #and even so if someone likes childrens media and they like to analyze it and theyre not being a jackass to kids about it #just leave them alone? sometimes that's just what their interests are and thats okay. it makes them happy #and i hate to be That Guy but uhhhh. yeah theres an overlap here w nd adults #not all of us but certainly a good amount bc some special interests are so strong that they last throughout childhood #past an ''acceptable'' age #and again not the case for everyone but like most autistic adults i personally know are into childrens media #and have been into a specific property since they were a young child #and thats just autism like im sure for people with down syndrome and others have a similar experience #and even if they like something recent like bluey like. who cares it is not hurting you #echoed voice #and it also annoys me that most posts like this have people going ''um well fandom moms are annoying tho'' #or even worse literally implying there's inherently a sinister motive #as if its not common for adults to get mocked for being childish and naturally get defensive #and as if every single adult into a pbs show or toh is inherently a bad person or something. #bc people will go through several mental gymnastics to defend being a jackass over something not socially acceptable #before they go ''yeah thats kind of rude sorry''

[katyspersonal]

#personal #internets #at this rate I've unfollowed both of the kinda.. 'controvercial' blogs I've been following #since there was a good chunk of actually good takes about how bad media is now and society and braindead internet 'activists' that- #-had it too good in their western countries and NEEDED to invent the reason to bully and excile people #could honestly resonate with it despite some other posts causing genuine pain. but mostly about terribly handled media #like you know that thing when corporations do terrible ass rep to pretend that they care for minorities #or artificially fabricate online backlash against their new actors to show investors that people show interest for their product because- #-of all the clicks on their article? #like discussion of this kind sorta keeps me sober #as a person with BPD I get contaminated by opinions VERY easily and as an autist I will believe everything if it is put together 'logically #that's why I HAVE to be exposed to every possible opinion so I am forced to make out my own rather than being swayed anywhere #but at this point those blog became kinda.. bad? like they don't just have 'opinions' but they hate just to hate #but now my dashboard and recs are full of exclusively things I can fully agree with and I am scared that it will rot my brain #like.. emotions are always the same. where is the 'wait WHAT' effect? where is anger? where is self-reflection? #but ALSO I realized that 'those' blogs are no better than those western 'warriors' I despise and they become narrow-minded too in the end #they advertise themselves as 'open to debate' only to always sway debate into trying to win and not into actually discovering the truth #I cannot trust any side because they're all narrow-minded and hostile but I cannot trust people without any side because- #-they're fence-sitters without morals that side with the winner #is there a secret third thing? like is there a way to not take a side but to still HAVE ideals and opinions? #my problem is that if I am not exposed to people that trash everything I value I forget why AM I valuing [a thing] to BEGIN with #and that won't do will it