#what the fuck am I doing? I dunno

[treasureplcnet]

btw i love revenge stories i dont think anyone should ever move on peacefully. a bit obsessed with the way weissman went to the synagogue and rabbi and asks, "my choices killed a child. would god take mercy on someone like me?" and the rabbi says "it's not god's mercy you should look for. its the child's" and like you think that would spur this man into charitable activities and to maybe look out for orphans but instead he goes on a 24 hour revenge bender that ultimately ends in two revenge killings and his own death. what's better than righteous anger and wrath and love twisting someone into the worst but also a truer version of themselves <3

#like im not even reaching here. (sort of am. whatever) #rabbi goldstein essentially goes 'think of esther. you need to be a man she would take mercy on. be someone she can forgive' #and it takes all of 10 minutes for karl weissman to decide yeah ok what i need is double homicide #do i think esther would have wanted revenge in her name. dunno. maybe. #she is 11 and very much the victim of this story. maybe she would have wanted karl to just live. kids are cruel and kind in that way #but to be fair this is esther 'fuck with me and you'll hang like a dog' jankovsky #so im willing to believe she was rooting for him #also the immediate choice to make elias suffer by shooting his leg (? maybe arm) before actually killing him #i dont know. the deliberate cruelty right after he visits the synagogue. an act of defiance. giving himself up after its done. it gets me #i love . I LOVE REVENGE :) GREATEST PLOT POINT EVER!!!!!!!! #sorry everyone about the bodies thoughts. i have no idea how long this is going to last #bodies netflix #karl weissman

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

from now on I think I might embrace a slight linguistic shift and stop saying that I want attention or special treatment and instead say that I want glory and honor.

meaning I want attention (glory) and special treatment (honor), of course, but said in a way that makes me sound like more of a man's man

#I dunno maybe I should be more of a dick swinging asshole #start leaning into the fact that I have three sons #a pretty wife #a house #a doctorate #and am a skilled artist and musician #and what the fuck are you doing with yourself pleb?! #I just have to exercise more #and make more money #should dust off the machining skills and get better at working on cars #and then #die of cancer at an early age #and all of it will have been for nothing #not that dying old would therefore make it worth it #mm #it is all vanity after all #what would I do if I could just do whatever

[hella1975]

11pm in manchester airport plane landed at 10pm after being DELAYED AND ANNOYING AND EVERYTHING WRONG WITH RYANAIR for over an hour. when is my train home from this godforsaken city you ask? 5am. good job im stuck in arrivals where there are no coffee shops or even regular charging ports haha. so glad to be spending the next six hours sat by the squeaky baggage claim machine. thank god my mum was sympathetic about it right haha… right????

#YELLINGGGG GET ME OUTTTT OF HEREEEE #WHAT THE FUCK AM I MEANT TO DO FOR 6 HOURS 😭 #like yeah if i could amble about duty free coffee shops for a bit like i originally planned I’d be golden a bit bored but fine #BUT THIS??? THIS LOOKS LIKE THE BACKROOMS IVE BEEN HERE ONE HOUR AND WANT TO END IT ALL #WHY IS THIS AIRPORT LIKE THIS 😭 MANCHESTER THIS IS WHY NO ONE WANT YOU FR #called my mum like ‘I’m not being dumb right there’s no shops or anything after arrivals it’s just the exit’ #bc if I leave arrivals I am NOT allowed to re-enter so I won’t even get this dogshit area that is at least indoors and covered #so I’m NOT chancing that shit #and she was SO FUCKING UNHELPFULLL she literally was just like ‘I dunno’ & when I complained she went ‘what were you expecting? a hotel?’ #LIKE GIRL THE REASON IM HERE ON MY OWN IS BC THE FRIEND THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY AT THE AIRPORT WITH ME HAD TO MAKE OTHER PLANS #BC HER PARENTS LITERALLY WERENT OKAY WITH HER STAYING HERE FOR SO LONG LIKE THAT #IM LITERALLY A YOUNG GIRL ALONE IN THE AIRPORT FOR THE NEXT 6 HOURS AND NOT EVEN THE PART OF THE AIRPORT YOURE SUPPOSED TO WAIT IN #THAT’S WEIRD. YOU’RE WEIRD #I DO NOT KNOW THIS CITY. LIKE THAT IS AN IMPORTANT DETAIL I DO NOT KNOW MANNY AND IM ALONE AND IT’S NIGHTTIME. WHAT THE FUCK AND HELL #AT LEAST BE FUCKING NICE OH MY GODDD #anyway. just saw a jesus i bet on losing dogs edit. what was that about

[sleepinglionhearts]

Once again I am thinking about becoming an art teacher vs. thinking about how fast I'd get fired if I became an art teacher

#idk I work well with kids but I dunno if I'd survive a classroom overfull of 'em #and like ok sure I could try teaching in Austin or something but the thing is #I would WANT to teach in town or in some other middle of nowhere small town because I feel like #those are the students who like. NEED to have someone teaching them wild ideas about art and communication #and what art can do and what art does and what art has to say #i would get so fired so fucking fast lol some kid would be like 'guess what we did in class today' #and then parents would come down on me for teaching art history to their 12 year olds #and not in the conservative white friendly way hsgshsgshs #oh who am i kidding I'd get fired as soon as parents (or some other teachers!!) find out I'm queer #happened to my 10th grade english teacher #anyway. just having some thoughts tonight

[fate-defiant]

POV you're the jarchivist and you cannot for the life of you tell if this German kid that claims he has reality-warping superpowers is pulling your leg or not(also he literally named his pet duck "Duck" who fucking does that)

#not tagging this as either fandom i feel like this is too niche somehow #dont ask me which season john this is #i started drawing this then added the rest of the archive team because i love them and also why not #fakir #fanart #my art #i drew this at like one am on wednesday. thursday? fuck #this is mostly a joke not like. an au #but how funny would it be if it was set in aura's fic and fakir and martin were distant relatives #actually that'd be a fun au. shoot some ideas my way if y'all have any ok? #omg fakir gives his statement and also donates a copy of the prince and the raven because somehow he knows it'll be relevant. like maybe th #maybe the oak tree told him to or somehting. i dunno #ok i am done with tags posting this now posting it posting it NOW #duck in the jarchives what delights will she bring #do not archive

[d00msd4y]

This scene but with sonic driving tails as mrs puff and them running over knuckles?

This but I took my own take on it.

Apparently I’m doing drawing requests now, which honestly no complaints I have massive art block

#what even #Sonic the hedgehog fucking kills Knuckles #Sonic art reqs #Sonic doesn’t have a fucking drivers license #you kidding me? #he’s a walking speed ticket #tails is probably worse #I dunno man #it’s like 12 am for me #knuckles is hard to draw???? #can you tell I was watching snap cube while doing this #knuckles stoner real

[bisexual-horror-fan]

I was reminded today of the time I went to Walmart and saw signs on certain shelves and items that said DNI, and it was like a punch to the face because my stupid fucking tumblr rotted brain jumped to- "this nail polish does not want you to interact with it-" until I read the small print further which says the thing that makes way more sense which is, "Do Not Inventory."

#Whenever those signs come out at some store I am at I STILL feel like I just got fucking sucker punched and dunno what to do with that #BHF speaks #BHF life

[exsqueezememacaroni]

Soooo, I've just found out about the Patton/RHCP feud and that Kiedis himself is personally responsible for sinking Mr. Bungle after the California release. Why isn't this more known?

I mean, I know about the Halloween mockery show, but it seems too mild a response for sinking a band's career - Patton is too much of a gentleman, this merited Mustaine levels of "never ever letting it go, ever", honestly. I mean, we spoke of what a pity it is that Mike didn't find more success as a film score composer, but it's even a bigger issue - a crime against music - that Mr. Bungle was cut off at its creative zenith.

Can we the Tumblr Patton fandom - all 6 of us - make it a big deal, retroactively, somehow?

Hey, remember when I used to like...be on tumblr??????

I'm so...SO sorry I'm late with this anon - but if you're out there, here we GO!

I mean, I personally dislike Kiedis anyways, and that very weird feud between him and Mike had been going on for like...a decade when California came out..all the while Anthony had always seemed like more of a whiny tart that was somehow offended by the one guy who wasn't out to steal his fame??? While Mike was just...his normal snarky asshole self who was also like...wtf, do I even know this guy??

BUT I would say it's a little too much to pin the full downfall of Bungle on him alone...like YES he really did do them dirty with the album release, and YES they would have made more during that tour if Kiedis hadn't shut them out of the festivals, but I do really think there were also underlying issues that would have led to a breakup, without all that. I think that tour, with all the technicalities of the sound/sample setup, and band members that were reaching their peak "what the fuck am I doing with my life" age of lower-mid-thirties while playing with people they knew in high school, the ones that weren't dead...the reception they got during the SnoCore section....it took its toll. Even though Mike had successfully(?) previously split his time between Faith No More and Mr. Bungle, Trey had Secret Chiefs 3, Trevor had Trio Convulsant and I just think....they decided to take a temporary break that turned into a semi-permanent break. Kiedis might have been a catalyst, but I think the chemistry was already there.

We all six of us love California with our full hearts, but let's be real, it wasn't going to be commercial success, even IF they had gotten their preferred release date. And the record company execs knew that...and they most likely knew what Californication was going to do....so they did record exec things and went with the profit potential...that's why it's a shit business...that's why Mike did his own thing. So....in a strange twist, without that, Mike might not have started Ipecac???

Honestly, the thing to be most angry about, I suppose, is that Kiedis had it in him to like....casually and deeply hurt people he didn't know at all (the rest of Bungle), just to spite one person (Mike)...and that most likely turned the band sentiment against Mike...even just slightly.

On a slightly different note....remember when FNM got fired from the GNR/Metallica tour bc Mike was being a little shit??? (I mean, rightfully so...but he was) That could have been career ending....but it wasn't.

#mike patton #mr bungle #faith no more #anon asks #i dunno....i mean...i know trevor was really hurt by it... #but like...at the end of the day i don't know that they would have done that much better even with more exposure?? #WB was never really promoting the band and is it just me or was their record deal only for 3 albums anyways??? #so what were they gonna do if WB dropped them??? #also remember that this was the same band that just a record before would like... #routinely sink their own gigs by playing an hour of barely comprehensible noise and covers while their own fans booed them #and requested songs from ST #lol I am a Mr. Bungle fan....I promise #I mean shit...I'm gonna drive 13 fucking hours next week just to see them

[ezraphobicsoup]

can i please request a fun fact about anything ever

#i would like that that would be nice #this is an open request not necessary a specific target (i mean there is one person who will definitely see this (hello #sorry about all of this i think i’m slightly silly hoursing and also just exploding like i dunno #i am alright i’m just also uaaaaaaaaaaaa #i hope you’re alright too i yeah i hope you are ok (this is me being paranoid #not because of you it’s a hormones thing i think cause this is just the feeling) #(man this was supposed to be a non specific post fuck ok oh well) #what was i saying anyway uhhhhh jonah is not the whale right??? i don’t think so im a fake jonah and the whale fan i’m sorry #i swear if it’s not even actually jonah like i’m not just getting confused with job and weezer my name is jonas am i #(like i say. i have no idea what i am thinking right now really i do slightly sorry that’s an exaggeration) #ok ending this ramble sorry everyone else that is not my girlfriend i don’t think she knows what i’m on about either here probably #i certainly don’t so if you can decipher this that’s very impressive #anyway anyway. fun facts !!!! #ezra’s real life rambles

[coockie8]

I do wanna lowkey apologise if I've been unnecessarily critical of Hazbin Hotel in any way, there is a very high possibility I'm taking out a lot of shit on things I was disappointment with due to what's been going on in my life.

I'm sure the show's not terrible, and there are some things I am very interested in that have happened, I'm just very raw emotionally in general, and the negatives are not something I wanna pile on top of everything else, regardless of how inconsequential a cartoon is in the grand scheme of things.

#I honestly can't tell if I've seemed unhinged lately or not #I'm kinda just living day by day is this fog of lowkey grief #I am very interested in the aspect of Husk having been an overlord #though that's probably 'cause I kinda figured that lol #I still hate his voice though and that's the main issue #It's not Kieth David I have a problem with #He's a great voice actor #He's just not Husk #I also do find the show seems to have pacing issues #like I genuinely have no fucking clue what the next season's gonna be 'cause haven't they like covered everything? #tbh I haven't watched the show but didn't Sir Pentious get into heaven or something? #wasn't that like the main goal of the show? #to prove demon's could be redeemed and to start redeeming demons? #I dunno it'll probably make more sense once I actually watch the show lol

[zooted-zooble]

if she wasn't pregnant than how to did she give birth to a child Zooble. Explain

”I ALREADY SAID I DUNNO! I WOKE UP IN MY ROOM ONE DAY AFTER I PASSED OUT, AND THERE WAS A CHILD IN THE CORNER OF MY ROOM!”

#tadc #tadc zooble #the amazing digital circus zooble #zooble #ask zooble #ask zooble stuff #what the fuck #am i doing with my life. #idk what im doing #I DUNNO HOW ALRIGHT- #zooted #zootedzooble #zooted zooble #zooted-zooble #Weed #weed 4 life

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that? #because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought #i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy #its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere #bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like #normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes #possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my #reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it #i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything #in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place #i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass #i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired #god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or #read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill #so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating #its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage #bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it 💪 #i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn #unrelated

[munamania]

when i say get me OUT OF HERE. yeah ok so i redownloaded the devils app (tinder) and after swiping through all the like spam and couples and random men that popped up and stuff i got to someone and i was like Oh theyre hot they seem cool geeked abt seeing if we match. HALT! is that my friend sams roommate. fuck. right. and is that another gay girl that maybe tried to slide in my dms once but i was so far up film girl's ass at the time i didnt think about it. in their one photo. right. and what's their name? we dont need to talk about it. im sick

#i might just see if we match... #no. is that weird? what are the lines of weird. oh who cares #my fucking dating pool feels like the worlds tiniest puddle. so. i dunno. #abby talks #its actually silly though. hey ive been in your house. lmfao <3 #i might also be giving myself too much credit re the other girl. i am not good at reading things i dont know #well and as u can see im not normal about things #me journaling yesterday basically im a creep im a weirdo i dont fit in i dont want to fit in what the hell am i doing here i dont belong he

[mars-ipan]

one of my fav aspec community things is when a bunch of aspecs try to dissect and understand allo behavior. it’s like a group of scientists looking at lab data and trying to figure out Why

#marzi speaks #‘and they’re more likely to buy a car when the ads for that car have women in bikinis in them???’ #‘fascinating…’ #that or it’s like watching animals with a group of people and trying to figure out how they socialize #‘what the fuck are you seeing this?? look that one’s rubbing the other one’s arm. and they’re blushing. why do you think they’re doing that #‘i dunno could be fun.’ ‘ehhhhh i’ll pass’ #extra funny when nobody consults an actual allo so everyone in the conversation comes to some false conclusion #‘of course! they have to be exaggerating- surely nobody would say something like that and actually mean it! we are so clever’ #genuinely tho allos why do you do that shit. it’s kind of entertaining and kind of disturbing. why do u act like that #i am deeply curious but also kind of intimidated

[theriverbeyond]

cannot stop thinking about Gideon. or Kiriona. the Corpse Prince, Heir to the Nine Houses, first of the Tower Princes. because who is she? what is she?

her entire (re)introduction seems engineered to make you think someone has deepfaked Gideon. it gives wrongfeelings all the way down. Uncanny valley supreme. not only the name change but... we have never seen a Gideon this cold or uncaring, or just.... brutal. and some of the things Kiriona wants are just so alien. like she wants to become John's cavalier? what the hell, she never gave a shit about the empire or God or John. she seems generally apathetic twoards Harrow which is just so NOT Gideon I don't know what to say. Gideon's two settings re: Harrow are hatred and devotion. PLUS in our first (re)introduction, it is clear that the House appears to be trying to pass off an obvious corpse as their alive heir, which is like, so many levels of red flag warning. and then she comes back so... easy. she was just playing possum? Kiriona does not feel.... i dont know exactly. She doesn't feel real. She's like if someone read a manual on who Gideon was but only head the headings, and very quickly.

so like, i would be convinced she was Wrong or Someone Else/Someone New BUT!!!! then there are just enough moments of pure, genuine Gideon to make me feel confused. the way she bickers with Ianthe is definitely in character. and then there's her anger at how she was treated as a child and her heartbreak&hysterics -- so palpable even when seen through Nona's semi concious state -- when she finally fulfils her childhood fantasy of killing Crux, on p.473, the source of so much abuse, and it just doesn't feel good. like. her breaking down because it didn't feel good was so genuinely Gideon and so painful.

and then on p. 374, Nona realizes that Kiriona is the saddest person she has ever seen, and that's just-- idk how to explain it. my breath caught. Gideon IS there.

and then again on p. 411, Kiriona -- Gideon -- asks Nona if Nona loves Harrow. she asks if Nona knows where Harrow is. and there's just.... idk. that's Gideon!!!! through so many layers of trauma or detachment but it IS Gideon, asking, because she loves Harrow to death and beyond it, and Nona just doesn't care so that's all we get. but that is fucking Gideon. that tiny moment. and she just seemed so fucked up and sad and resigned.

maybe this is Gideon, but put through the sieve of so much trauma that she has become unrecodnizable. maybe this is only Gideon sometimes, and someone else other times. but what the fuck happened to her. how did she get there, what happened to her, what is going on during the moments when she is unrecognizable. what did they do to her over the six month time gap. who did this to her, how did they do it, and most importantly will we get to see Harrow tear out their intestines slowly.

#ntn spoilers #nona spoilers #nona the ninth #Kiriona Gaia #tlt thoughts #trb.txt #god. gideon babygirl what did they DO TO YOU #if we never get to find out. fanfic writers i am fucking begging. #her being a PRINCE is so sexy and cool but everything else. hmm. where is sue i want her back. #i need to stare at a wall #gideon nav #we KNOW john can fuck with memory #we know #but also hes become a wet mop of a man!!!! i dunno!!!

[lottieratworld]

hey since pride month is starting, i want to make it very clear i do not condone people who discourse or start arguments over labels and identities they dont understand. its none of your business if someone calls themself, for example, a bi lesbian. the least you can do, beyond being supportive of your queer peers, is keep your hate to yourself, because theres more important shit to worry about. if you come up to me personally to tell me to block someone for supporting bi/pan lesbians, transmasc lesbians, neopronouns or genders, asexuals, bisexuals, etc, then idk what to tell you, im probably gonna block you instead. the last thing i need to see is people trying to divide the community over harmless shit just because theyre unwilling to accept or understand the lgbt community, ok? thanks.

and no im not interested in debating this. i hate the discourse, im not getting involved, i didnt join tumblr to fight, dont bother me about this. accept others or leave me alone. i hope you can all understand this even if you disagree with my stance.

have a happy pride, everyone

#this just happened and like. im sorry to the person who messaged me that they had bad experiences. but i hope you learn better someday. #ill admit i wasnt sure how to word it because they mentioned being harassed by anothers followers over it and thats terrible but #no im not going to block someone for supporting bi lesbians thats not gonna happen #even if you word it like 'supporting lesbians wanting to fuck men' #and from what i could tell the other person involve didnt outright tell their followers to harass them or anything so. what am i to do. #i dunno