#what to do in downtown Chicago

[grassbreads]

vibrating bc I just realized it'd be very feasible to see one of my favorite bands live for the first time later this year

#concert-going has always been so hard bc I'd always have to haul ass back to chicago to see anything. when I lived in my old college town #and for the past few years I've mostly been too broke to buy tickets for anything anyway #but I live downtown in a different city now #a city where bands come sometimes... #they're gonna be a bus ride away and I could afford to go #not gonna buy the tickets yet bc a 50 dollar purchase is intimidating. but. #absolutely worth making that purchase in a paycheck or two #even with my mixed feelings on their newer stuff. seeing the front bottoms live would be a transcendent fucking experience for me #I wonder what I'd have to do to bribe them into playing joanie lmao #fr tho I'm so hyped about this #it's gonna be on a work night. but even so #I can do it!! #it's such a miracle living in a place I actually like and having a job that pays me liveably #holy shit #invasion of the frogs

[ekimdesonbaharbaskadir]

TOP 10 things to do in CHICAGO [Travel Guide] Things to do in Chicago

TOP 10 things to do in CHICAGO [Travel Guide] Things to do in Chicago

TOP 10 things to do in CHICAGO [Travel Guide] #NewYork Things to do in Chicago #thingstodoinchicago #travel #chicago Watch the TOP 10 things to do in CHICAGO [Travel Guide] video till the end. 379320 Views – 6085 Likes. You also like and comment. This video will give you an idea about the subject you are wondering about. Chicago travel guide, covering the top 10 things to do in Chicago, plus a…

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[rainylana]

Taste on an Image: New neighbor

Eddie Munson x female reader

a little longer than my usually one of these! just a fluffy blurb! no warnings!

“Why don’t you go say hi instead of standing there gawking.” Wayne shook his head, closing the door to the trailer as he gave his nephew a once over.

Eddie jumped, surprised by his uncle’s appearance. “I’m not gawking.” He swallowed. “I’m observing from afar.”

“Well whatever it is you’re doing is probably freaking her out.” Wayne pointed to you outside in the yard, a few trailers down the road as you hung clothes outside on your line.

“She doesn’t even know I’m here.” Eddie rolled his eyes, leaning against the mailbox. “Geez, she sure is pretty, ain’t she?”

“Yeah.” Wayne gave a gruff nod. “Go talk to her. Be neighborly. God knows no one else around here will be.” He patted his nephews shoulder and went inside, leaving the boy alone with his thoughts.

You’d moved in just a few days ago, gaining the attention of Eddie like bees to honey. You were gorgeous, and by the looks of it, single. He readjusted his jacket and slicked back his hair, wiping his mouth with his sleeve to make sure no absent crumbs were festering on his mouth. Last thing he wanted was to embarrass himself.

Eddie walked down the gravel road, waving awkwardly at the neighbors he past that were halfway drunk for the weekend.

“Hello.” He called out to you, standing near your mailbox.

You spun around, smile on your face that nearly made him fall flat on his back, and took a step forward. “Hi!”

God, he was in love already.

“Hi.” He repeated again, lifting up a hand he wasn’t sure what he was doing with. “Hi, I’m Eddie Munson. We’re neighbors. I live just a few trailers down.” He pointed down the road to his house, blushing as he did so.

“Oh, how nice!” You beamed, setting down your laundry. “I’m y/n.” You quickly walked toward him, extending your hand for him to shake. “Nice to meet you. It’s sweet of you to come introduce yourself. No one has yet. I was starting to think I wasn’t wanted.” You laughed, tucking your hands in your pockets.

Your authenticity of casualness made his nerves settle. “Yeah, well, the people are weary of strangers.” He shook his head. “There’s a lot of kids around here, too, so be careful when you leave. I almost run one over every time I pull out of my driveway.” He chuckled, brown eyes crinkling under the sun.

You laughed and he swore it made his heart swell. Two minutes in and he was already whipped.

“Is it just you?” He asked, peaking over your shoulder and back at your home.

“Just me.” You pursed your lips. “I’m from Chicago. I used to work in the news paper office downtown but decided I needed a change of scenery.” You shrugged your shoulders, the wind barely whistling over your words.

“I run the mechanic shop here in town with my uncle.” Eddie pointed over his shoulder down to his home. “I live with him. Have ever since I was a boy.”

“Well I’d love to meet him sometime!” You smiled. “Maybe you can show me around town later this week? If you don’t mind, of course.”

“I’d be honored to escort you.” He smirked, giving you a wink that made you snicker. “Just give me a day. There’s a great diner that I can sweet talk the waitresses in giving us free desert.”

“You seem like you’re good at sweet talking.” You give him a playful look, crossing your arms.

“Well, I don’t like to brag.” He held out his arms, closing his eyes briefly in a smug look.

You tucked your hair behind your ear, looking back to your clothes line that was blowing in the wind. “I’d invite you in for something to drink but I’m afraid I’m not quiet finished unpacking yet.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He held out a ringed hand. “You need any help? Wayne and I would be happy to assist.”

“No, thank you.” You shook your head politely. “I’ll be finished soon. It’s mostly just my clothes and some decorations. I really don’t have that much.”

He could almost feel his uncle’s eyes searing into the back of his head.

“Well, I just wanted to introduce myself.” He stepped back. “Let us know if you need anything. Oh! And remember,” He pointed to your car. “You’ve got a mechanic for a neighbor if you ever need one.”

He left while he was ahead, feeling confident that he hadn’t embarrassed himself. He smiled the whole walk home, fists clenched in a celebratory manor as he practically skipped inside.

“Well?” Wayne asked, leaning against the fridge.

“What do you mean well?” Eddie snorted. “Like you didn’t stare at us the whole time through the window.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The man hid his smirk behind his mud of coffee.

“She’s nice.” He plopped down on the couch. “She smiles a lot. She’s beautiful. I don’t know, Wayne, this might be the girl of my dreams.” Eddie laughed, shaking his head with pursed lips.

“Uh-huh.” Wayne rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t start planning a wedding yet, son.”

#taste of an image #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #stranger things season four #joseph quinn #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fluff

[megalony]

What's My Name

This is a new Tommy Kinard imagine, I hope you will all like it. Please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @shauna-carsley @dottirose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1

Tommy Kinard Masterlist

Summary: While they're both on shift, (Y/n) starts to become disorientated and unwell. And Tommy and her dad don't know what to do when she starts having memory problems.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A quiet grumble vibrated at the back of Tommy's throat and his eyes furrowed and winced in his sleeping state. The end of his nose crinkled and he frowned, confusion flooding his brain as he began to wake up.

Why was he waking up? Why did it feel like he had only just gone to sleep five seconds ago? Surely the alarm wasn't going off already?

When he blinked and tried to gain awareness of his surroundings, he groaned again. The bedroom was pitch black. It was still late into the night, or possibly early in the morning. It wasn't the alarm that had woken him. After another second, Tommy realised it was his phone quietly vibrating on the dressing table which he could hear.

Tommy's nose crinkled again when he took a deep breath and started to realise how he was laid.

His right arm had gone completely numb and he soon realised that was because his arm was beneath the pillow (Y/n) was laid on. Her neck was directly on his arm and her right hand was clutching his wrist like she thought he was suddenly going to disappear in the middle of the night.

Tommy was laid on his right side with his lips and nose pressed down against the top of (Y/n)'s head. With his height, he usually tried to stay as close to the headboard as he could or else his feet would dangle over the end of the bed.

And his left arm was secured around (Y/n)'s waist beneath the cover, his fingers subconsciously digging into her waist and hip.

With a quiet groan of discontent, Tommy lifted his head from the pillow and pulled his left arm free from the covers. His bare chest pressed into (Y/n)'s back and he took the opportunity to kiss the top of her head while he stretched across and grabbed his phone from her side table where he dumped it when he got in.

He didn't bother to check the caller ID before he answered and pressed the phone to his ear, letting his head flop back into the pillow.

"Hello?" His gruff voice was thick with sleep and two octaves deeper than usual but he didn't care. He could feel sleep ebbing away at his mind until a crisp, low voice crackled through the other end of the line and sharpened his mind awake.

"Kinard, it's Robson."

Oh God, why was his Captain calling him?

When he pulled the phone away from his ear and squinted at the bright screen, Tommy all but huffed in distaste. It was four in the morning. The Captain was calling him at four in the morning. Why? What did he want?

Didn't he know that Tommy had gotten home at half eleven tonight- last night? Just over four hours ago? He had been in bed for all of four hours before being disturbed.

"Kinard?"

"Yeah… yeah, what's up?"

"I've had two people from the A shift call in sick, a chopper should have been sent downtown half an hour ago and I've got a broken train on the subway. I need a pilot and you're on call. Can you come back?"

That wasn't fair. Tommy let his annoyance be heard in the way he growled animalistically and huffed through his nose. He hadn't had nearly enough sleep to be going back on shift, especially if he was going to be there for a while. But did he actually have a choice in this? He was on call. Whether he went in right now or turned up in a few hours after some more sleep, Tommy was still going to have to go on shift.

The sooner he went in, the sooner he could come back home and come back to bed.

"You know I'm supposed to have eleven hours between full shifts, right?" The cocky tone to his voice gave away that he wasn't about to pull the law book out here.

He could, if he really wanted to. Tommy could be petty and state that in his contract, if he had just done a full twelve, or even a twenty four hour shift, he had to have eleven hours before his next shift. It could be classed as breaking the law if he didn't get enough rest between shifts and went back in how after only four hours of sleep and of being at home.

But this was the job. This was what they had to do when they were struggling for staff and it was an extra shift. Tommy could ask to have his next shift off as a swap for coming in today. Then he could recover and spend some time at home with his wife before going back to work.

"Are you gonna pull the book on me, or are you able to come in? I'll pay you double and you can head home early, I swear."

"Double, and I work today instead of my next shift."

"Deal."

When he hung up the phone, Tommy tossed it back on the side table and brought his hand up to rub at his eyes. He'd done a good negotiation there. Usually it was rather hard to make a deal with Captain Robson. He wasn't cruel or harsh by any means, but he wasn't always as easily understanding like Bobby.

He took a moment to run his hand up and down his face and try to wake himself up.

His body was crying out for sleep. He needed rest. But he had a feeling this shift might go quick. The morning shifts usually did pass by swiftly especially if they were busy. And Tommy would clearly be up in the air flying this morning and hopefully he could spend a bit of time back on the ground. Too much time up in the air with a foggy brain crying out for sleep wasn't an ideal situation.

If need be, Tommy would swap with someone on the team and take over on the truck so he could leave the chopper.

After a few seconds, he looped his arm back around (Y/n)'s waist and began to feather his fingers up and down her chest and abdomen. He pressed his chest into her back and tilted his head down until his nose and mouth were pressed into the crook of her neck.

It took him by surprise just how warm (Y/n)'s skin felt against his touch. He could feel a layer of sweat coating her skin and she was radiating heat like a house in winter.

He pressed a soft kiss against the base of her neck before slowly working his way up, leaving open-mouthed kisses in his wake up until his lips reached the tip of her jaw. He peppered his way down her jaw and leaned over so he could peck her cheek. The touch made (Y/n) shiver, but she stayed mostly burrowed down with her face burrowed into the pillow and her hand still gripping his right wrist.

"Honey," His voice was still laced with sleep, but it was much smoother now. He let his teeth graze against her jaw while his palm pressed down against her stomach to try and wake her. "I gotta go back into work now."

Moving his hand up, Tommy let go of her waist and gently curled his hand around (Y/n)'s wrist that was clinging to his hand. He uncurled her fingers from his wrist and pulled her arm up so he could kiss the back of her hand. His touch seemed to stirr her this time. He felt her shuffle back into him and her head tilted in his direction, lifting from the pillow. But she didn't bother to open her eyes.

"Home… going home,"

Her words made Tommy frown. He couldn't be sure what she muttered afterwards, but those words were enough to make him smile and wonder what kind of dream she was having. He pecked her cheek and entwined their fingers, holding her hand against his bare shoulder while (Y/n) nudged her head back until she pushed her temple against his shoulder.

"No, no baby we're home now. You with me?" He waited a few seconds until (Y/n) finally seemed to wake up and listen to what he was saying.

When she didn't answer, Tommy leaned over with his chest pressed back down against her shoulders and he stole a kiss. The touch shocked her awake a little more and he felt the surprise in the way she gasped before her lips began to move against his own and her tongue darted across his lips.

"Babe…" Her voice was nothing more than a quiet pant against his lips and it made Tommy hate himself for agreeing to this.

He didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay right here with her, where he belonged. But if he went now, he would be gaining a full day off with her the day after tomorrow- which was technically today since it was now morning. He knew (Y/n) would be on shift today and then tomorrow she would be off and now they could spend the day together.

"I gotta go back to work honey, you gonna be okay if I go?" The thought of leaving didn't exactly sit well in Tommy's gut when he looked down at his wife.

(Y/n) had been off work three days ago with a cold and although she promised Tommy on the phone this afternoon that she had felt better today, he wasn't inclined to agree. And now he could feel her starting to sweat, despite the cold air circulating through their bedroom, he wondered if she was starting to feel unwell again.

If she didn't want him to go he would ring Robson back and try to bargain to go in later this morning if he could. He would go in the same time as (Y/n) went for her shift, if she was well enough. So he could make sure she was alright and actually going to make it through her shift.

"Hm." She nodded and pulled her hand free from his so she could run her fingers across his cheek and steal another tired, sloppy kiss from him.

He knew if she didn't feel well enough she would call in sick. When they first started dating, (Y/n) had a hard time admitting when she was unwell and tried to keep going on shift even if she felt rough or could barely keep her eyes open. Now though, she was more easy-going on herself and understood it was okay to take a break when needed.

And she would be on shift with her dad. Tommy knew his father in law would keep an eye on (Y/n). Bobby would make sure she was okay and send her home if he thought she was too unwell to carry on with her shift.

"Alright then, I'll call you when I'm coming off shift."

(Y/n) grumbled quietly when Tommy's warmth suddenly disappeared from behind her. She no longer felt like she had a full length hot water bottle pressed up against her. There wasn't a secure arm around her waist or a face tucked lovingly into the crook of her neck.

She felt cold and alone and suddenly unsafe without Tommy wrapped around her, engulfing her in his large frame.

She could hear him shuffling around the room, getting dressed in the dark so he didn't have to put the light on and disturb (Y/n). Once he was dressed, (Y/n) suddenly felt his fingers beneath her chin and he tilted her head back into the pillow so her face was aimed up towards his.

"See you soon honey. Love you." His lips glued to (Y/n)'s and stole the little air left in her lungs while his thumb caressed her chin like he was drawing patterns on her skin. When he pulled back, (Y/n) lifted her head, trying to follow his lips and move with him until he pecked her temple and nudged her back into the bed. She needed to get some more sleep.

"Love you." She murmured softly, feeling a dull ache in her chest when his chuckle subsided and his footsteps started to become distant as he left the room.

***

Tilting her head from left to right, (Y/n) tried to get her eyes into focus and take note of her surroundings.

Everything was blurred. She was seeing double.

Nothing seemed to make sense in her mind and everything was spinning.

Her body slumped back until her shoulders and the back of her head bashed into something cold. She let her weight drop back and allowed her body to slide down until she was crouched down on the floor.

She was leaning against a fire truck. Why was there a fire truck here? Where was she? What kind of emergency situation was she caught up in to be near a fire truck? Was she hurt?

(Y/n) moved her hands and held them out in front of her. Both hands were shaking and she could see the veins popping up on her hands beneath her skin. She was burning up. Sweat was glistening on every part of her exposed skin and she could feel it making her shirt stick to her frame. Her body was overheating. Her hair was sticking to her temple and beads of sweat rolled down the side of her neck.

Her lungs burned as she tried to take deep breaths and work out what she was doing and where she was, but nothing was making sense.

You're supposed to help people.

A small, nagging voice in the back of her head tried to make sense of this, but it wasn't working. How was she supposed to help people? What was she supposed to do?

Her trembling hands moved up to cup her ears, drowning out the noises she could hear while her eyes fell closed. Ignoring the flashing lights making her temple throb and the bright midday sun that was beaming down on her like a spotlight.

She wanted to go home. Where was home? Was home near here? Home was with her dad. Where was he? Where was Bobby?

Her hands left her ears and a shudder jolted through her entire body when something on the truck slammed shut. Whether it was a hatch or a door or just someone retrieving something, (Y/n) wasn't sure. But the shockwave that rattled through the metal truck made her head pound and had her body coiling forwards.

She moved to press her hands down on the floor and slowly push herself to her feet, whimpering at how uneasy she felt when she was on her feet and how unbalanced she was. Whichever way her head wanted to lean, the rest of her body slowly started to follow until she was swaying left and right as she tried to walk forwards.

But she didn't know where she was going.

"Hey Bobby, where'd you want me?"

The tiredest smile Bobby had ever seen flooded his son-in-law's face and he watched Tommy hold his arms out at his sides while he took a look around the scene. He walked away from the truck he had just been driving and headed over towards Bobby who was sending his team this way and that to try and make sure every car on this bridge was evacuated.

At least six cars had piled up in a crash and they needed to evacuate them all and assess who needed urgent medical attention, who could walk away from this and who needed transport to hospital.

For a moment, Bobby looked at the younger man in front of him and looked around. They hadn't asked dispatch for air support. They had asked for another team and at least three ambulances, but no one was in dire need of being air-lifted to hospital.

But it clicked when he finally realised that Tommy was in the matching uniform. Dark blue shirt, thick black overalls and a black and florescent yellow jacket. He was here on ground support today. He was here as a firefighter, not a pilot.

And since this was Bobby's callout since his team got here first, Tommy's team would be taking their lead from him.

"Hey… weren't you on shift last night?" Bobby reached over to clap one hand on Tommy's shoulder before he looked around the scene again.

"I'm on call this week."

"Ah. Well, in that case, there's three cars over there who haven't been evacuated yet. Find (Y/n) and take her with you, I need everyone off this bridge."

"Copy that."

Tommy could feel the tiredness washing over him like waves lapping at the sand. But his mind started to vibrate and liven up at the thought of finding his wife. He hadn't seen her at all yesterday from being on shift and they only exchanged small talk last night when he came home and climbed into bed.

He wanted to see her and talk to her and ask if she was feeling any better. And maybe steal a kiss or two if he could.

His eyes darted around the scene as he looked for that familiar style of hair or the matching jacket that had his last name stitched across the back.

It didn't take long for his eyes to land on that all too familiar frame he had memorised down to every last mark, scar and mole on her skin. But as his eyes drank in the sight of his wife, Tommy couldn't help but furrow his brows and tilt his head to one side.

She wasn't walking properly.

For a moment, he thought she might have sprained her ankle or done something to her knee with the way she was walking. But after a few steps, he realised she wasn't actually walking like she was in pain. She was walking like she couldn't seem to hold herself upright.

Her body was leaning forwards while she had one arm locked around her waist and her other hand deadlocked at the back of her neck, scratching into her skin.

He watched the way her eyes danced across him before she went back to scouring the scene like she was looking for something in particular.

Tommy took a deep breath and picked up the pace to meet (Y/n) halfway. He stopped in front of her and reached his hands out to gently hold onto her upper arms and stop her in her tracks. His thumbs brushed up and down her arms over her jacket and he leaned his chest back and tilted his head down until his pointed chin was pressing down into his chest so he could look down at her.

"Honey, you okay?" He tried to smile but (Y/n) wasn't looking at him properly. She was constantly darting her eyes from left to right, briefly looking up at Tommy before she went back to scanning their surroundings like she didn't know or understand what was happening.

He watched curiously as (Y/n) reached her arms out and held onto Tommy's arms just below his elbows and her grip was so tight he could feel her nails digging into his jacket.

She was sweating. And shaking. And she was swaying back and forth like she didn't know how to hold her own balance.

Tommy let his hands glide up her arms to her shoulders and he carefully pushed her jacket off her shoulders. He slid the thick material down her arms and let it fall into a puddle on the floor, curving around the back of (Y/n)'s boots. He could see from how badly she was sweating and her shallow breathing that she was running a temperature and in this heat, she didn't need an extra layer to make it worse.

He pressed the back of his hand against her temple which seemed to bring her back to reality while his right hand curved around the back of her arm. Keeping her stood as close to him as possible and holding her up so she didn't wobble or take a tumble.

"(Y/n), are you with me?" His hand left her temple and moved to cup her chin so he could tilt her head up to interlock their gazes.

"You… you know my name?"

"What?"

Was she trying to joke with him? Was this another way of teasing him because he rarely ever said her name anymore. Tommy had so many pet names for her that he couldn't remember the last time he'd called (Y/n) by her name.

And both their teams knew this too. It was something Evan liked to tease him about while Bobby thought it was endearing since he himself wasn't used to calling Athena anything but her name or the occasional 'honey'.

Tommy let out a small chuckle and rolled his eyes while his head dropped down at an angle. And his thumb began to glide up and down (Y/n)'s chin, moving dangerously close to her lips every now and then.

"I think I know my own wife's name by now, don't you?"

The way (Y/n) latched her hands around Tommy's arms again made him stand up straighter and tense his arms beneath her touch. She was beginning to shake worse and when he realised she had tears trickling down her face, panic surged through his heart that started to hammer away against his ribs.

Tightening his hands around her arms, he tried to force himself to smile to try and keep her calm because he could see she was starting to panic.

He nudged her back until she was taking a few steps backwards, letting him guide her towards the concrete wall separating the two sides of the dual carriageway on the bridge. He nudged (Y/n) back until she took the hint and slumped down onto the concrete wall with a thud. Her knees trembled and her body leaned forward while Tommy crouched down in front of her legs.

"You don't look well, honey what's the matter? Talk to me." His hands left her arms to begin smoothing up and down her thighs instead.

He noticed how she didn't pull away or push his touch away, but the way she was looking at him made him feel uneasy.

Whenever (Y/n) was ill, she could cling to Tommy. Whether that be to get him to wrap her up in a hug or to cling to him for comfort or just rest her head on his shoulder for some form of touch. She would always wrap herself around Tommy and it was something he loved about her.

But she wasn't clinging to him right now. She was barely responding to him at all and it was frightening.

"Talk to me," He coaxed again, his tone gentler and quieter this time, letting her know his focus was solely fixed upon her.

"I… I don't… where am I? I don't wanna b-be here…"

"You're on shift honey, see?" Tommy reached out and feathered his fingers across the LAFD logo on the left side of her shirt before he pointed at the fire truck behind him.

What was going on right now? Why was (Y/n) confused about where she was or what she was supposed to be doing? Where on Earth did she think she was? What did she think was going on to make her this frightened and reverting back into her shell?

"You're important… someone important… I-" The shaking started to increase throughout (Y/n)'s body until she was trembling back and forth on the wall as f she was about to fall down onto Tommy's lap.

Tears jumped free from her lashes and fell down the bridge of her nose, making glistening tracks in their wake as she started to sniff and gasp for each breath.

The way Tommy pushed up on his heels and brushed the tears away made (Y/n)'s heart stutter. She reached out to cup his wrist and kept hold of him, but the fear in her eyes made Tommy want to burst into tears too.

"What's my name?" Utter panic dwelled in Tommy's voice that dropped down an octave as he stared at his wife. "Honey, what's my name?"

She shook her head.

She couldn't answer him because she didn't know the answer.

But despite not knowing his name and not placing who he was, her grip stayed paramount around Tommy's wrist, refraining him from pulling away from her. She was clinging to him even though she didn't know who he was. She was staring at him with such fear and confusion in her eyes that it made Tommy want to be sick.

There was nothing he could do. What was he supposed to do? How could be rectify this and make her remember him and understand what was going on?

"Bobby, I need some help over here."

Tommy moved one hand and waved out until he finally caught the Captain's attention and waved him over. All while his other hand stayed cradling the side of (Y/n)'s face since she was clinging to him.

There was something familiar about him. Although (Y/n) couldn't think of his name or place why she knew the person knelt down in front of her, she knew there was just something about him that was recognisable.

He was important. He was special, but she didn't know why. It was like there was a dream lingering in the back of her mind, telling her that she knew him from somewhere. His face, chiselled and handsome, was memorable and familiar but all the answers were locked up in a safe, hidden away in the depths of her mind that she couldn't delve into.

The more (Y/n) tried to think, the worse she began to feel. The more she tried to think why she was here, why she was dressed so similar to the man in front of her, why she was at some sort of crash sight. Why she was so groggy and burning and on fire and feeling sick. The more her head started to ache.

A sharp pain was igniting in the base of her skull and firing down her neck like bullets travelling the expanse of her spine.

She wanted to be sick. She wanted to close her eyes and go to sleep. She wanted to go home. Where was home? Why wasn't she back in Minnesota? This wasn't her home town, she knew that for certain.

Wherever she was, this was unfamiliar.

"Dad!" As soon as her eyes found her dad rushing towards her, relief sparked so hard in her blood that (Y/n) couldn't feel her hands anymore.

Her body bolted up from the wall so fast she stumbled into the man kneeling in front of her legs.

She felt his hands grapple to hold onto her hips, preventing her from falling onto his chest and keeping her up on her own two feet. Once she was steady again, (Y/n) pushed forward and reached her trembling arms out for her dad.

It was such a relief to have Bobby pull her into his chest that her vision suddenly went white and her mind started to blank and turn to mush. Static fizzled and popped in her ears and her body swayed forward into her dad's arms until he braced his hands on her hips and held her upright.

"Sweetheart what's the matter?" Bobby moved his hand to run up and down her back while he glanced over at Tommy for some sort of explanation.

"I wanna go home."

"She's delirious and feverish… Bobby, she doesn't recognise me or where she is." Tommy's hand reached out as if to rest on (Y/n)'s shoulder but he pulled back, thinking better of touching her if she had no idea who he was. "We need to get her down to the hospital, now."

Tommy swallowed dryly and felt his throat threatening to close up as he looked from Bobby, down to his wife, and back again.

She didn't remember him. She didn't know who he was or where she was or what was going on. The only person she was sure about was her dad. They needed to get her checked out. This had to be more than a simple cold or a fever for (Y/n) to be this confused and frightened and experiencing memory problems.

(Y/n) tucked her face into Bobby's chest and bound her arms tighter around his torso until she was almost cutting off his breathing.

He kept his left arm bound around her middle, holding her weight up for her against his chest while his right hand moved to cradle her face. He tilted her head back so she was looking up at him, and he realised how flushed her skin was and how she was burning up against him.

"Sweetheart… do you know where you are?"

"Home, wanna go home." She muttered breathlessly into his shirt, smothering her face into his chest again so she didn't have to squint in the bright sunlight or focus on anything in particular.

"Okay, let's go get you to a doctor first, hm?" Bobby leaned down to kiss the top of her head while his hand continued to smooth up and down her back.

He didn't want to pester her with questions, not when he could feel her crying quietly into his shirt. Asking questions she couldn't find the answers to was only going to distress her even more and she didn't need that right now.

He leaned his cheek on top of her head, locking eyes with Tommy while he held his radio.

"Hen, I need the ambulance prepped and ready to go… (Y/n) needs an assessment and a trip to the hospital."

They heard a bundle of responses, Hen agreeing with them, Chimney asking if he needed to call Tommy. Evan and Eddie asking what was going on and if she had got trapped or hurt out on the call.

But Bobby didn't answer any of them. He looped his arm around (Y/n)'s waist rather than her back and started to guide her away from the wall and towards the ambulance parked just behind the truck on the hard shoulder. His other arm looped around her chest and his hand began to glide up and down her back to try and keep her calm.

He could feel Tommy close on his left side, keeping (Y/n) held between them while Tommy dared to rest a hand on her shoulder. Relieved when she didn't pull away or flinch or scream at him to let go.

But as the three of them made a slow walk towards the ambulance, Tommy suddenly stopped and jerked his arms out in front of him when (Y/n) started to fall.

Her feet bent awkwardly beneath her and her body tilted to the left, bumping into Tommy's shoulder before she flagged in Bobby's arms and her mind shut down.

Both of them grabbed hold of her, stopping her from hitting the floor with a bang as she went completely limp.

Bending his knees, Tommy curved round so he was in front of (Y/n) and let her head flop onto his shoulder. He curved an arm behind her legs and one around her waist and as quickly as he could, he shifted her round and lifted her up bridal style. Her face stayed pressed against his shoulder while Bobby held her hand and placed her arm across her chest so it didn't hang down at her side.

"We need to go." Tommy watched his father in law break off into a sprint towards Hen to get the gurney from her. His panic a silent agreement that they had to go now and they had to move quickly.

Tommy's eyes darted ahead and then back down to his wife, limp, sweating and trembling in his arms like they were in the arctic instead of under the burning LA sun.

What was happening to her? And why didn't she remember him?

***

"Hey sweetheart, how you feeling?" Bobby let his gaze linger on (Y/n)'s hand that he had been holding for the last hour or so.

He slowly moved her hand so he could kiss the back of her knuckles and run his other hand up and down her arm. He smiled softly across at her, watching the way (Y/n) dragged her free hand to shakily brush across her eyes and nose and wake herself up a little more.

She pushed herself up and took a look around.

She was in a bed. She was in a hospital room, wearing a hospital gown. There was an IV taped into the back of her left hand and monitoring stickers that she realised now felt itchy and uncomfortable over her chest. And she could feel the wires rubbing against the gown and tickling over her arm.

"Cold," (Y/n) murmured as goosebumps started to prickle on her skin when she realised she was actually cold.

She watched the way her dad hung his head down and smiled while he moved their entwined hands to rest down on the bed next to her thigh.

"You were burning up so they turned the A/C on full and put a fan on, you're almost back to normal temperature now though."

It made (Y/n) feel like one of the desserts her dad made for the parties they were always throwing. Like she was starting to melt or become overcooked and needed to go in the fridge before she turned to mush.

But she felt like she was at a normal temperature now because she could register that the room was freezing cold and she was at the point of shivering.

"Alright sweetheart, can you tell me what day it is, or the last thing that you remember?" Bobby let go of her hand to smooth his palms up and down his jeans. He could feel the worry ebbing away in his chest and eating out his heart that was hammering three times as fast against his ribs.

He wasn't sure he was prepared for what answers she might give him. They didn't know if she had been suffering memory loss or if she had just been extremely confused. And they didn't know what time zone (Y/n) thought she was in since she couldn't remember who Tommy was, and she had been with him for the last five years.

It was almost frightening for Bobby to wonder what time (Y/n) thought she was in and what she might or might not remember.

When her dad let go of her hand, (Y/n) suddenly felt even colder and lonesome. She ran her fingers up and down the creases in the thin sheet that was draped across her legs and pulled up to her waist. But when she lifted her gaze, her head tilted to one side and her lips parted.

Something soft swirled in her deep eyes and her lips quirked into a smile as she reached a hand out across the room.

"Tommy…"

She hadn't realised he was in the room with them until now. Her gaze locked on her husband, stood as close to the door as he could get like he thought he might need to make a quick exit anytime soon.

He was stood with one leg crossed over the other and his body slanted at an angle while his left shoulder was pressed against the wall. He was facing the door with his head tilted down so his cleft chin was tucked against his chest. And he had his arms folded over his chest, showing off the way his muscles in his biceps tensed and how his work shirt looked a size too small for him.

But when his name passed through her lips, Tommy's head snapped to the right.

His blue eyes went wide until his pupils almost took over the whole expanse of his eyes and his lips parted, but he couldn't find anything to say.

She recognised him. She'd said his name. She knew who he was.

He pushed his frame off the wall and bolted across the room until he could collapse down on the side of the bed next to her thigh. His hands reached out for hers but her hand was already out, cupping the side of his face before he could grab her.

His fingers glided up and down her arm, ghosting over her pulse point as if to make sure she was actually speaking to him and this wasn't just some kind of wishful dream.

"You know my name." He muttered in disbelief before he turned his head to the right and pressed his lips against her wrist, kissing over her pulse. He leaned his cheek into her touch, wanting to melt on the spot when her fingers cupped his cheek and the underside of his jaw and he felt her thumb going across his cheekbone.

"It'd be a bit embarrassing if I didn't… I married you, didn't I?" Her voice was quiet and crackling from how dry her throat felt, but her words were like the softest string quartet Tommy had ever heard.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

He could of just sat there in awe of his wife and beg her to say his name over and over and over until it was the only thing he could understand and be sure of. But Tommy wanted to make sure she didn't have any gaps in her memory and that she hadn't time-skipped but still forgotten some of her memories.

"I… I was home, getting ready for work… you'd gone really early, but I- I don't remember going to work, or coming here." She could picture herself getting dressed at home. She could see herself looking at the bed with disappointment that she had woken up alone because Tommy had been called away so early.

She had barely gotten to hug and snuggle with him before he was gone again like a vague dream she could barely recall.

The relief in Tommy's eyes told (Y/n) that what she remembered was recent and she could tell he was overjoyed.

Had she really forgotten who he was? What had she said or done to him to make him worry she wouldn't remember him when she woke up? Oh God, what had she done to him?

Tears welled up in her eyes and she could barely register her dad kissing her temple, muttering that he was going to go and get Athena and bring her up before he left the room.

As soon as the door closed, (Y/n) brushed her thumb across Tommy's cheek and bit down on her lower lip to stop herself from crying. She felt her spine clicking into place as she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against his temple. The touch almost made him jump, but the way he leaned his head back and stared up at her with those big doe eyes made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter with adrenaline.

"Baby did I, did I really forget your name… forget you?"

"Only for a moment. You knew I was someone important." The soft, intoxicating smile on his lips made (Y/n) want to smile, but all she could do was take short, puffed breaths.

"Why?"

"You got a viral infection, encephalitis. But we caught it in time, you're gonna be just fine now. And you remember us all and who you are, so no more tears, okay?"

Tommy kissed over her pulse point again before he leaned forward and moved his hands to cradle her face.

He pulled her in for a kiss, tasting the salt tears over her lips and feeling them trace onto his face when she couldn't seem to stop them. He stole the little air left in her lungs and grazed his teeth along her lip while their noses brushed together and he couldn't help but smile against her lips.

"As long as you remember me, honey, it's all good."

#911 imagine #imagine #bobby nash #tommy x reader #tommy kinard #tommy kinard imagine #tommy kinard 911 #tommy kinard x reader

[alphajocklover]

hey there. My name is Derek. Im your average, slightly overweight gay guy from Chicago. I work as a pretty decent graphic designer downtown. And honestly, my life has gotten boring. I’ve been with the same guy for far too long. And I sometimes wish I could be one of those loud, obnoxious straight dudes you see at bars. You know the ones I’m talking about. Total jerks who make rude and crude comments to women. Muscles so big. Obnoxious loud clothing. Yeah. Is it weird that I want to be the most hated straight douchebag in the world? Haha it’d be so different

Hey Derek! I’m glad you reached out. You’re asking a question a lot of gay men have asked throughout history: Is it weird that you want to be a straight, buff, misogynist douchebag? Are you a freak because a part of you wants to be the kind of guy you’ve always hated? You’ve always believed in being proud of your sexuality, in treating everyone, especially women, with respect, in common decency, equality, and respect. Usually you’d find those straight, cocky jerks as obnoxious as anyone else. But just like a lot of men (and sometimes women), both in and outside of the LGBTQ community, there are times where, even though you know you shouldn’t, you wish you were one of those guys. It’s hard to say why people get this strange desire. It could be that you’re jealous of their bodies, how they’re so muscular, beefy, and powerful. It could be that you admire their confidence, the way they cockily smirk like they rule the world. It could be that you long to be like them because, despite their flaws, they’re the manly men that society has always told men we should all be.

Or it could be that you know, deep down, that they’re what you were meant to be. That they’re what you could have been, should have been, and would have been… if you hadn’t been turned gay.

Before we continue I wanna make a few things clear. Being gay isn’t a choice, you can’t cure gayness with dumbass abusive therapy, gay people do not turn other people gay, and homosexuality is a perfectly natural thing that some people just are. But… not all people. There are some people in this world, like you Derek, who have been turned gay. You were supposed to be straight. In fact you were supposed to be a straight, beefy, misogynistic, douchebag. But someone changed you, derailed your fate so that you’d be different. They saw you, didn’t approve, and so they went back in time and changed you. It’s not just you either. There are thousands of supposedly gay men who are really straight douchebags who got turned.

The group of people responsible for these changes are mysterious and covered in shadow. Those who know of them call them the SAD, the Society Against Douchebags. Not much is known about them, just that they come from the far future and use a strange machine to go back in time and change the lives of certain straight douchebags through manipulation and futuristic technology. The reason you were always so unathletic and heavy? You had nano machines working against you, keeping on the weight and taking down your endurance. The reason you could never seem to say the right thing and always embarrassed yourself around cool guys? They’d use those same machines to make you feel awkward and uncomfortable so you’d say the wrong thing. The reason you’re gay? They altered your brain chemistry.

But I know someone who can help you turn back.

A group like the SAD, one that so recklessly changes the timeline, doesn’t go unnoticed forever. Eventually another group formed, one that fought back against them. They call themselves the Douchebag Revolution. They’re exactly what they sound like. Straight, buff douchebags who either didn’t get targeted for one reason or another or were saved from their false lives and wanna take down the people who tried to destroy them. They go around, liberating guys like your from their fake fag lives, fighting the SAD and living that douchebag lifestyle.

Personally I try to keep out of their whole time war thing. I don't think what the SAD does is good, but time travel is so fucking complicated I’d like to avoid anyone who uses it all together. Plus the Douchebag Revolution is pretty homophobic, so they wouldn’t accept an actual gay guy like me in their ranks. But I do have a few contacts in the Douchebag Revolution who tolerate me. I could get you in touch. They have a way to reverse what the SAD did to you. A serum. It’ll make you exactly what you always should have been: a straight, beefy, asshole. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to take it. You can stay this way, always wondering who you would have been. But I don’t think that’s what you want. I can see it in your eyes. You know what you are.

You’re a douchebag. Welcome to the Revolution.

Don’t worry about your boyfriend. Either he’s an agent of the SAD or he’s a fellow turned Douchebag. Either way your new friends will help you take care of it.

**another G2S story. I know they’re controversial but they’re so much fun. Definitely going to revisit the douchebag Revolution idea sometime.**

#muscle growth tf #jock tf #jock transformation #jockification #muscle tf #nerd to jock #time travel tf #douchebag revolution #gay to straight

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 12- I Love You. I Know.

Summary: As the end of October approaches, you and Javi learn more about celebrating Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos together. After a sleepless night, and a Halloween party at the Murphy's, Javi begins to open up to you about his past.

Word Count: 15.6K (I'm sweating)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), oral (m receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, semi-public sex (Oh the poor Murphy's...), PTSD/Anxiety around grief, loss and Javi's past, some angst/tension, mentions of drinking/being drunk (Steve is getting PLASTERED), mentions of food/eating, SO MANY STAR WARS REFERENCES, literally this chapter made me sob while I was writing it, editing it, and re-reading it, I am SO sorry

A/N: You guys. Holy shit. This chapter really had me in my feels. This chapter was def a labor of love, but I'm really happy with how it turned out!! Thank you for as always for all you kind words, you truly, truly, TRULY have no idea how much your support means to me 😭💖 Also please don't kill me after you finish reading this chapter I PROMISE *things* are happening so soon I can literally taste it, but I needed for this chapter to happen first, and you would be silly to think that *things* didn't get its own whole ass chapter and I am just as excited as you AH

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The excitement of October’s conclusion was in the air, and the joys of getting to celebrate what you hoped would be the first of many holidays with Javi was at the forefront of your mind. While the end of summer meant school was here and your carefree days were gone until next June, October meant it was time for one of your favorite holidays- Halloween. It was one of your most cherished things to celebrate as a kid, and even still as an adult. The memories of jumping into leaf piles off your swingset with your brothers, dressing up in goofy, homemade costumes to trick-or-treat (because your mom was not about to buy 4 new sets of costumes every single year), carving pumpkins, and stealing as many of your brother’s Kit Kat bars as you could without getting caught, filled your heart with a warmth and joy that you couldn’t quite describe. While the 80 degree temperatures and lack of bright reds and yellows painted across the leaves falling from their trees was much different from the Chicago Octobers you were accustomed to, it hadn’t stopped you from heading full steam into Halloween. 

“So do you have any thoughts on what we should be for Steve and Connie’s? I have no problem going out to buy stuff for costumes, but I can already hear my mom yelling at me for wasting my money on cheaply made clothes I’m gonna wear for 5 hours when I have something perfectly good in my closet.” You rolled your eyes as you shuffled through the hangers, Javi sitting on the edge of your bed folding the laundry you were working on putting away. 

The two of you had gladly accepted the invitation from Steve and Connie to spend the weekend with them in San Antonio, as the Murphy’s planned to host a Halloween party at their house for their friends and co-workers, giving you and Javi a chance to have a fun weekend out of town together. 

“Hmmmm?” He asked, looking up at you as you grabbed a few shirts, examining them for costume potential. “We’re dressing up for this thing?” 

“Yeah, that’s like, the whole point of Halloween, dummy.” You giggled, throwing a few options on the floor before making your way over to your pants. “Didn’t you dress up as a kid for Halloween?” 

Unlike yourself, Javi had spent his whole life celebrating Día de los Muertos, Halloween having nowhere near as much relevance to him as it did to you, spending the end of October and first days of November gathering with his family to spend the day making Pan de Muerto (Day of the Dead sweet bread),  watching the parades on the streets of Downtown Laredo before visiting the cemetery where his grandparents were buried, decorating their graves in cempasúchil (marigold flowers), candles and photographs with his primos (cousins). Since his mom had passed, Javi hadn’t been home to celebrate with his family, and had almost forgone the tradition completely during his time in Colombia, the pain and loss of his mother and the solemn sadness of celebrating alone leading him to try his best to forget about the holiday all together. 

“Uh, no, not, not really. Didn’t really do Halloween, isn’t really as much of a thing down here. My family always celebrated Día de Los Muertos instead.” He replied, almost embarrassed by his answer, not wanting to damper your excitement as you dug through your closet for costumes. 

Your heart sank to your stomach, feeling awful that you hadn’t even taken into consideration that Javi's traditions around this time of year were completely different from what you were used to. The two of you had never really talked about how you wanted to celebrate future holidays, and always had wanted to make sure that the important parts of your lives were celebrated equally. Javi hadn’t said anything after you had spent the past few days putting up Halloween decorations around your apartment, and now you felt like an idiot assuming he had spent his whole life celebrating just like you. 

“Oh… Shit. Javi, I’m so sorry, if you don’t wanna do costumes, we don’t have to, you just hadn’t said anything about Día de Los Muertos so I just assumed that-” 

“Baby, it’s okay.” He pushed himself up off the bed, the width of his broad palms wrapping around your hips, trying to ease the guilt he could tell was rapidly consuming you. “You’re right, I never told you about it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything to celebrate it, and I haven’t been home for it since I’ve gotten back from Colombia. I just- I don’t really know how to feel about it, I guess. The last time I did anything for it was before my mom died. I was never able to bring myself to do anything about it while I was gone, and I guess now I just feel really shitty that was the way I decided to handle it.” It broke your heart to see the pain in his eyes, pulling yourself closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his stomach, leaning your head against his chest. It was then, the realization had hit you too- This would be your first year of holidays without Patrick. You didn’t know as much as you would have liked to about Día de Los Muertos, but you did know that it was to celebrate the lives of loved ones you’d lost, a feeling that you and Javi were both all too familiar with. 

“Listen…” You raised your head, looking up at him, arms still intertwined around his waist. “I don’t- I don’t wanna make you do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. I guess this is the first time we’ve ever really talked about this kind of stuff. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Jav, and that means celebrating the things that are special to both of us. The things that are important to you are important to me too. I want our lives for us, for our future family, to be filled with all the things we care the most about, whether that means keeping old traditions or making our own new ones. It would mean a lot to me to get to celebrate Día de los Muertos with you, and if it’s okay, I would love to sprinkle in some Halloween too, because I’m fucking dying to carve a pumpkin.” 

You smiled up at him as his hand slid under your jaw, his thumb tracing across your cheek as he tried his best to hold back the tears welling in his eyes. It took everything in him to not ruin his plans, wanting to run into the bedroom, grab the ring out of his sock drawer and propose to you that very instant. Even after all this time, Javi still couldn't believe that he was the person you wanted to share the rest of your life with. That you wanted to intertwine your past, present, and future with his, to have a life, a family, together that the two of you could cherish forever. Never in a million years had he assumed he’d be anywhere close to where he was today, holding the world’s most beautiful, perfect woman in his arms, as she told him how she wanted nothing more than to build a family and spend the rest of her days with him. 

“Osita… I fucking love you so much, you know that?” He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft and deep kiss, your heart racing as he pulled you in tighter. 

“Yeah, I mean, I guess, just a little bit…” You giggled, poking fun at him, considering not a day had passed since the first night he had said it that Javi hadn’t told you just how much he loved you. 

“Shut up, you dork.” He chuckled, making you squeal as he picked you up, playfully shaking you in his grasp before setting you back down. “I’d love nothing more, Hermosa. I don’t know how the fuck you’re supposed to carve a pumpkin or what the hell you have planned for these costumes, but I’m all in. I want it all with you, Osita. Thank you.” 

“Of course. For as much or as little as you want to do for Día de los Muertos, I’m all in too. I’m gonna be honest, I love Hallowen. Not as much as Christmas, but it’s a close second. It means you’re gonna have to trust me with a giant ass knife and cover yourself in pumpkin guts, though.”

“My trust is quickly starting to fade. Seriously though, what the hell are we supposed to dress up as?” He raised an eyebrow at you, nodding over to the pile of clothes you had pulled from your closet, now piled on the floor. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got some ideas.” 

  The weeks leading up to the holidays had made for fun at home date nights, the both of you genuinely looking forward to learning about the traditions you had both held so dear to your hearts. Almost every night after work, you had done something to celebrate the events leading up to the day. You had shown Javi a few of your favorite Halloween movies, including It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Beetlejuice, and Ghostbusters, very adamantly insisting to him that those movies were about as scary as you were going to get, blaming your brothers for scarring you after forcing you to watch The Exorcist at the ripe age of 7 years old. In addition to the movies, you had told him about other funny Trick-Or-Treating stories from your childhood, Javi’s favorite being how your brothers, (being the ruthless idiots they were) paid one of their friends in all of their halloween candy to jump out of a bush dressed as a terrifying old lady to scare the absolute shit out of you, and making you quite literally pee your pants. In return Javi shared his favorite memories of cooking in the kitchen with his mom as she made Pan de Muertos for his family, the two of you even attempting to make it one of the nights after work, milling about the kitchen together as Javi told you about his family you had yet to meet, or had passed away long before you. 

After a lengthy hunt, you were able to find pumpkins, bringing them to Chucho’s house to carve them since you had nowhere to put them inside your apartment. You offered him the rest of your Pan de Muertos in exchange for a place to work on your pumpkins, and while he gladly accepted the bread, the three of you knew Chucho was always happy to have you and Javi over, regardless. 

“So tell me, mija,” Chucho spoke in between mouthfuls of sweet bread, rocking back and forth in his chair, “is there a meaning behind carving the pumpkins, or is it just for fun?” 

“Just for fun! Okay, it looks like we’re ready, you want me to show you how to do it, or just let you go for it?” You smiled at Javi, the two of you sitting cross legged on Chucho’s porch, pumpkins open in front of you. 

“You just scoop them out, right?” Javi questioned, looking into the pumpkin with an unsure grimace. “It seems like there's a lot in here, Osita. I have to get all of it out?” 

“Yeah, or else you can’t see the design when you carve it. C’mon you big baby, just stick your hand in there and pull the guts out!” You laughed, digging your hand into your pumpkin, scooping out hearty globs of pumpkin guts, slopping them into the bucket Chucho had set out for you. Reluctantly, Javi joined, you and Chucho both absolutely dying at Javi’s face as his hand met the squishy fibers inside his pumpkin. 

“Jesus, that feels fucking gross!” He laughed, shaking his head as he threw some of the seeds and strings into the trash next to him. 

“You need me to do it for you?” You giggled, flicking a pumpkin seed at him as he winced with the second handful he pulled out. 

“No, cabrón (asshole), I can do it.” Javi grumbled as he rolled his eyes at you, the both of you scooping hearty handfuls of goop. 

“You hear that, Chucho? Calling me an asshole because he’s too scared to pull out pumpkin guts.” You looked back at his dad, giving him a playful grin, his smile already wide from the enjoyment of watching the two of you. With your back turned to Javi, you hadn’t noticed the small handful of seeds he had collected in his hand, lining up his arm to aim right at the back of your head. “I can’t believe that- HEY!” You whipped your neck around, running your hand over the back of your neck, picking seeds and strings out of your hair, seeing Javi snicker to himself as your jaw dropped open in shock. “Did you seriously just throw pumpkin guts at me?!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, must have been a ghost.” He shrugged, smirking to himself before digging his hand back into his pumpkin. 

“You see this?!” You looked back at Chucho, pointing your finger at Javi, pretending to be stern, although your laughter quickly escaped. “Absolutely ridiculous, I swear.” 

“Javier, that is no way to treat your future esposa! (Wife) No quiero mis nietos ser cubierto en calabaza! Me encantáran en cualquier caso, pero todavía! (I don’t want my future grandchildren covered in pumpkin! I will love them either way, but still!)” Chucho scolded with a smirk, you and Javi silently smiling to each other at the thought of one day doing this with your own children. Javi had tried to stop fighting off his dad’s comments about grandkids a while ago- Chucho knew just as well as the two of you that he would have his grandchildren soon enough. 

“Ella lo pído… (She asked for it…)” Javi muttered under his breath, shooting his gaze up at you as he felt cold goop hit the side of his cheek, wiping the pumpkin you had just thrown at him off with the back of his hand, watching you smirk silently to yourself as you continued to scoop out your pumpkin.

“Ahora… Estamos a mano. (And now… We’re even.)” 

The 3 of you chatted on the porch, the sky now painted a dark black, filled with twinkling constellations above as you finished carving your pumpkins. Yours, a cute ghost with a little smiley face, and Javi’s, what he had tried to convince you and Chucho was also a ghost, even though it looked more like he had just carved a squiggly hole in the middle of his. It took a little prodding and convincing, but as you all talked about how the Peña family had spent many a Día de los Muertos, you and Chucho were able to get Javi to agree to go visit his mom’s gravesite on the Sunday after you got back from Steve and Connie’s party. Chucho had even promised to keep his tias, tios, and primos (aunts, uncles, and cousins) completely out of the picture this year, wanting to give Javi all the time and space he needed to go see his mom for the first time since her funeral. He was reluctant at first, riddled with the guilt of leaving her unvisited all these years, but as he felt the gentle squeeze of your hand, your silent reassurance was all he needed to know that you would be by his side, every step of the way. As you said your goodbyes, Chucho hugged you just a little extra tighter than normal, as if to thank you for everything you had done for his son, and just how thankful he was to have you in his life, too. 

Even though the Murphy’s had very graciously offered to let you and Javi stay on Friday night as well as Saturday, both Steve and Connie very much understood when you had told them on the phone that the only thing that you wanted to do after coming home from the chaos of managing an elementary school Halloween party was take a very, very long nap. You and Javi had spent the night ordering pizza and watching Young Frankenstein, only lasting about 20 minutes into the movie before you were dead asleep, snoring against Javi’s chest, still dressed in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie costume from earlier today. Carrying you to bed and undressing you from your mouse ears and oversized overalls, Javi curled into bed next to you, pulling your body against his as he stared at the ceiling. Despite how hard he tried to fall asleep, he laid there, wide awake as ever, as his head raced with the tornado of thoughts brewing inside his brain. 

Javier Peña had never really considered himself to be an anxious person. For most of his life, he couldn’t be. For the sake of his job, the sake of his family after his Mom passed, Javi had survived the only way he had known how- Block it out, and ignore it. And so far, that strategy had seemed to bode for him pretty darn well. But that was before he had anyone who depended on him, cared about him, anyone who made his life worth living for. That was before he had met you. Now, Javi found himself at the crossroads of a moment he had been waiting for since the moment he had first laid eyes on you. Something that brought him absolute joy and sheer terror at the same time- Javier Peña was going to propose to you, and he was an anxious fucking mess. 

If that in itself wasn’t enough, things at the Laredo County Sheriff's Department had been an absolute shit show. Mexico was the only thing on anyone’s radar, making for long days and high tension at the office, trying to do anything to slow the spread of the cartel’s influence across the border. Day after day, report after report, it felt like the department was drowning in the endless shitty news of new death tolls, record breaking trafficking stats, and lack of control as cocaine moved across the Rio Grande at a groundbreaking pace. Even though he found himself even further removed from Mexico than he ever was in Colombia, he couldn’t help but feel that painful, searing wrench in his gut when he sat down to really think about it. 

You. 

Spending your lives together.

Having a family.

Protecting his wife and kids. 

The things he would do to keep you safe.

The terrible things he had done he had justified were keeping other people safe. 

The imagines of the things he wish he could unsee.

The pain and hurt he wished he could take back. 

The fear of what he was capable of doing. 

So with a knot in his chest from work, a ring hidden away in his sock drawer, and the beginnings of a plan to ask the woman he loved more than life itself to marry him, Javi coped with the weight of his stress the only way he knew how. He couldn’t fucking sleep. 

The thoughts played in his mind on repeat, torturing him with every loop around his brain. He tried his best to close his eyes, to empty his head for a moment of peace, but no matter how much he wished he could have willed himself to sleep, it was no use. By the time the alarm clock on his nightstand read 2:05 AM, Javi had completely given up on the idea of rest for the night, quietly making his way out of bed to go wander around the living room. It wasn’t long before you too were also awake, rolling over in your sleep to find Javi’s space in the bed cold and empty. Rubbing your eyes and propping yourself up against your pillow, you scanned around the darkness of your room as you came to, realizing that Javi was nowhere to be found.  Draping one of the blankets from your bed over you, you crept into the hallway, greeted by the soft light of one of the living room lamps painting shadows against the wall. 

“Javi, are you up?” Your voice still soft and sleepy, rubbing your hand along your face, squinting from the sudden brightness that lit up the room. 

“Osita, baby, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry. Go back to bed, okay?” Javi shot up from the couch, setting down whatever book he had been half focused on reading as he watched your bed headed figure meander into the living room. 

“No, it’s okay.” You grumbled, holding out your blanket covered arms for Javi to melt his body into yours, wrapping you in a tight hug. You pressed your head into the bare skin of his chest, snaking your hands around his waist as he planted his lips against the the top of your head, burying his nose in your tangled hair. “Baby, what’s going on? Why can’t you sleep? I’m worried about you, Jav.” 

“I’m… Yeah, I’m okay, Hermosa. Just a lot on my mind.” He sighed, his exhale still buried in your hair as he savored the smell of you, still lingering even in your sleepy state. 

His pause alone was enough to know okay wasn’t the word that you would use to describe Javi right now. His words were burdened and fatigued, making it clear that whatever was on his mind was weighing on him more heavily than he wanted to admit. 

“Are you sure? Javi, if you wanna talk about anything, you know I’m always here, right?” 

You wanted so desperately to pry. Everything in you had a feeling that whatever was keeping him up were entangled in the parts of his dark parts past, the last secrets holding up the final wall between the two of you. You knew from your brothers how hard it was to talk about the pain and suffering they had witnessed, and begging them to talk about it before they were ready only seemed to make it worse. Hell, after Patrick died, it felt like you didn’t sleep for weeks, and it had taken you months to open up about it. You knew Javi hurt, and as much as you wanted to, digging deeper into the things that plagued him in his restless nights wasn’t what he needed right now. Right now, he just needed someone to be there for him. 

“Is there anything I can do, Javi? I just wanna help.” The breath of your sympathetic whispers were hot against Javi’s skin, squeezing your arms to pull him as close to you as he could. He paused for a moment, letting out another deep breath as cradled the back of your head with his palm, running his hands through your hair. 

“Will- Will you stay up with me? Just a little bit longer?” His voice trembled as you turned your head to lock your eyes with his, the gentle nod of your head bringing him a moment of relief. 

“Of course, baby. Of course I’ll stay up with you. Do you wanna turn on the TV or put on a movie? Sometimes that helps me sleep.” You stretched your arms over your head, scrunching your face as you yawned before tugging your blanket tighter around your body. 

“Believe me, Hermosa, I know it does.” He let out a soft chuckle as he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead. 

“Oh shit, yeah that is true. I don’t even think I made it halfway through Young Frankenstein tonight, which is a crime. It’s such a good movie. I don’t even remember getting into bed.” You yawned again, this time taking one of your blanket covered fists to try and rub the sleep out of your eyes, forcing yourself to stay awake. 

“Well, if you give a mouse pizza and a movie after a long day at school, then she’ll probably need her boyfriend to carry her to bed because she’s so tired.” Now awake enough, Javi’s cute jab at your costume for school made you let out a little giggle, giving him a little shove with your blanket wrapped body. “Why don’t we turn the rest of it on, so you can finish watching?” 

“I don’t wanna fall asleep on you, Javi.” You grumbled, pouting up at him, considering he had just asked you to stay awake with him. 

“It’s okay. As long as I have you by me, I’ll be alright, I promise.” Reluctantly, you nodded in agreement, plopping yourself on the couch as Javi turned on the TV, rewinding the VHS tape to the point where you had fallen asleep earlier before joining you, draping his arm around your shoulder as you tucked in your knees and scooted closer to him. You sat for a few minutes in silence, letting the sounds of the movie fill the background. As you turned your head to look up at Javi, you could tell that even though his eyes were pointed at the screen, there was no way he was really watching the movie. Reaching up your hand, you ran your fingers across the length of his strong jaw, his stubble scratching against your palm, forcing him to look back at you. Your eyes met his, the sweet, chocolate brown looking back at you, with a confusing mix of exhaustion, guilt, want and helplessness. You brought your face closer to his, your lips now only inches apart as your whispers danced against his mouth, desperate to find something to ease his pain. 

“What do you need, Javi? Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.” 

His tongue swept against his bottom lip, taking one last shaky breath before his words left his body with his exhale. 

“You. I need you.” 

His hands found their way to the bare skin of your thighs, his fingertips barely brushing against your flesh as he traced his way up to your torso, toying with the hem of one of his shirts that always looked so much better on you than him. Pressing his palm against the soft curves of your stomach, he tugged at the waistband of your sleep shorts, causing you to shift your body so he could slide them down your legs. Reaching over towards his lap, you grasped at his boxers, feeling him already half hard under the fabric as you rubbed your hand against him. Javi held your hips, slowly guiding you to straddle him as you kicked your shorts off your feet, leaving them in a pile on the ground. Slowly, you began to grind deeper into his lap, the feeling of him now fully hard beneath you. Gently prompting you to raise your arms over your head, Javi lifted your shirt, leaving you bare as he dropped it next to your shorts. 

“Is this okay?” Javi rasped, pressing languid kisses against your neck and collarbone as you ran your hands against the width of his broad shoulders. 

“Of course, baby.” Your reply low and horse as you began to drag the fabric of his boxers lower and lower, finally letting his cock spring free as his waistband pushed past. You brought your palm to your mouth, licking a long, wet strip across it before wrapping it around his length, thumbing over the precum already leaking from his tip. Javi tilted his head against the back of the couch as you twisted your wrist, stroking his cock, letting out a hushed moan before sitting back up to watch you. 

“You’re fucking perfect, Osita. I don’t deserve you.” He dug his fingertips into the soft flesh of your ass, his sweet, brown eyes locked on yours as you pressed against him, nibbling at his ear. 

“You deserve everything, Javi. I could give you everything in the world and it still wouldn’t be enough.” Javi grasped at your face, cupping your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours in a deep, intense kiss, his voice shaky and lustful as his mouth parted with yours before he spoke. 

“I don’t need anything besides you, Osita. Eres mi todo. Estás todo lo que necesito. (You are my everything. You’re all I’ll ever need.) He shuttered, letting out a low groan as you continued to rub your hand along his length, Javi now reaching down to trace lazy circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside your wet heat. His fullness made you whimper, wrapping tighter around his cock as you stroked him, now bucking your hips against his hand as his fingers curled, bumping against the spongy spot that made you lose control. “Does that feel good, sweet girl? Fuck, you’re so wet. 

“Mhmmmmm.” You gasped, rapidly nodding your head as his digits pulsed inside you, your cunt already drenched, desperate to feel the fullness of his dick, despite the thickness of his fingers. Carefully, you lifted your hips, moving yourself closer to him as you ran your fingers through the soft ends of his sleepy curls. Sitting up on your knees, Javi removed his hand as he watched you hover over him, his palms roaming to your hips as you guided his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal before lining him up with your entrance. His jaw went slack as you lowered down on to him, taking your time as you savored the stretch of every sweet inch until you had bottomed out at his base. 

“Fuckkk, baby.” He mewled, gently guiding his hands against your hips as you dragged yourself up along his length before headfully sinking back down, the tip of his cock bumping against your cervix with each movement. Javi nipped at your neck, trailing hot, wet kisses down your collarbone before stopping at your breasts, flicking this tongue along each of your pebbled nipples as you pushed deeper into his lap, whimpering at his touch. “My sweet girl, always taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me, baby. God, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” Javi pulled you in tighter, caging his chest against yours as his arms wrapped around the small of your back as he rested his face in the crook of your neck. “Fuck, I love you so much, Osita.” His words were desperate and needy against your bare skin, digging your fingers into his dark curls as you swirled your hips around his cock. 

“I love you too, Javi. More than anything.” You moaned as felt Javi shift his weight, thrusting upwards as he buried himself deep inside you. His fullness had you digging your nails into the nape of his neck, your body melting into his with each push and pull against each other. You could feel the all too familiar tingle creeping up your legs and through the base of your spine as Javi’s hand found its way to circle around your clit, already throbbing as the curled hair around his base brushed against your sensitive nerves. The lewd noises of your moans and tangled bodies drowned out the sounds of the TV behind you, practically hearing how wet you were as Javi cock slipped in and out of your heat, his pace pounding as he punched into you. You could feel your walls beginning to tighten around him, arousal pooling in your belly, Javi knowing you were close as you whimpered into the crook of his neck. “Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

“I know, baby, I know. Let go for me, Osita. Wanna feel you soak my lap before I fuck you full of me. Cum for me baby, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Javi’s fingers rubbed faster along your clit as you rolled your hips, sinking yourself deeper onto his cock with each thrust, your vision going white as you could feel yourself come undone. 

“Javi, Javi- fuck- Javi, Jav-ahhhhhh.” You could feel yourself gush around him, crying out his name as you reached your high, your legs shaking and fingers digging into his skin, pleasure flowing through your veins. 

“That’s it, Hermosa. Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum too, fuck myself so deep inside you. My perfect girl. Mierda- Quiero que seas mío para siempre, mi amor. Solo tú, por siempre y para siempre. (Shit- I want you to be mine forever, my love. Only you, forever and always). Fuck me, I- fuckkkk.” Javi hissed as he buried himself deep in your hilt, spilling every drop of his spend against your walls. You could feel the mixture of the both of you dripping down your thighs, soaking Javi’s lap as you slumped into his body, your heart racing as the damp curls of his hair pressed against your shoulder. You both sat there for a moment, letting your chests rise and fall together in sync as you came to. “Fuck me, Osita. I could stay like this forever, baby.”

“You and me both. Although, I feel like that would make things awfully inconvenient for the both of us.” Your soft, sleepy giggles making Javi smile as he ran his fingers though the twisted ends of your hair. Carefully, you lifted yourself up, hissing at the loss of Javi inside you. 

“Thank you, Osita.” Javi whispered, tenderly circling his thumb along your jaw as you curled up next to him. 

“For what?” 

“Just- fuck, you’re so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. So, I just- thank you. Thank you for being everything I need.” Planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, Javi pulled you tighter, holding you in his arms as you leaned against him. 

“I’ll always be here for you, Javi. I promise.” 

You hoped he knew. That he knew your words were true. That when the time came for him to open up to you, letting you into the painful past that loomed above him, that you wouldn’t run. You would be right by his side, just as you were right now. 

“Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Javi chuckled as you twisted in the passenger seat, stretching your arms over your head, scrunching your face, letting out a lengthy yawn. 

“Fuck, how long was I asleep for? How much longer do we have left? Sorry, I wasn’t planning on sleeping that long, I just wanted to take a nap for a little while we drove.” You ran your hands over your face, looking out at the bright Texas sun shining over the neat suburban neighborhood you now found yourself driving through. Javi reached over across the center console, rubbing his hand along your thigh as he chuckled to himself. 

“Baby, I knew from the moment you fell asleep you were gonna be out for the rest of the drive, it’s okay. I was just worried I was gonna have to wake you up in the Murphy’s driveway.” You grumbled as you looked over at Javi, giving him a playful swat against his arm, shaking your head, now emerging from your post nap fog. 

“Well if we weren't up fucking at 2:30 in the morning, perhaps I wouldn’t be so tired, hmmmm?” 

Javi rolled his eyes as you poked fun at how the both of you had found yourselves last night, trying to ease Javi’s sleeplessness. While your solution had worked enough to ease him back to bed, it had now left you wide awake, wondering what had been going through Javi’s head, torturing him enough to keep him up. It had also meant that the two of you had slept in much longer than you intended, leaving later than planned for Steve and Connie’s. The two of you had quickly packed your things and hit the road, stopping to grab lunch on the way before you found yourself dead asleep next to Javi for the last hour and a half of your journey to San Antonio. With only a few minutes now left in your drive, you peered out the window, admiring the houses that lined the quiet streets of the Murphy’s neighborhood. 

“This is a cute subdivision.” You smiled over at Javi, admiring the houses, charming and inviting as they were freshly decorated from Halloween. 

“Yeah, it is pretty nice.” He grinned back, wrapping his palm around your thigh, giving your leg a little squeeze. He took a deep breath, his voice now shifting in tone, becoming more shaky and nervous. “Would you uh- would you, um, wanna live in a neighborhood like this?” 

“Maybe. I don’t know, the houses are all really close together. I spent so much of my life in the city, and even at my house growing up, everything always felt so cramped. After coming here, especially after seeing your ranch, I don’t know, I would love to be somewhere with more space. But that’s a big ask, so, maybe one day if it works out, I guess.” You reached over, rubbing your hand along Javi’s arm, your soft smile meeting his tender gaze as he smirked, nodding to himself. 

“Yeah, one day.” 

Taking a last turn down one of the neighborhood streets, the two of you pulled up to the quaint two story home belonging to the Murphy’s. Turning off the ignition, Javi paused for a moment, grinning to himself as he ran the hand resting on your leg up to your face, cupping your check as his eyes roamed the length of your body, taking every inch of you in as his sweet brown eyes consumed you. “I love you, Osita.”  

“I love you too, Jav.” Both of your heads tilted, your lips gently pressing against one anothers as you traced your hand through Javi’s dark curls, pulling him closer into you. You could feel his smile against your mouth as his tongue barely swiped against your bottom lip, the two of you so lost in the moment, you hadn’t even seen Steve make his way out of the house to greet you, let alone the fact that he was now standing at the driver’s side door, hands on his hips as he watched your impromptu makeout session in Javi’s truck. 

“You two lovebirds want help bringin’ your bags in, or do I need to give you a minute?” Steve chuckled to himself as you and Javi shot up, hearts racing and faces going white hearing his distinct drawl and rapid tapping at the driver’s side window. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Javi placed one more soft kiss on your forehead before promptly turning around to flip off Steve and opening the driver’s side door. “You two are worse than a pair of horny teenagers, I swear.” You could hear Steve still snickering to himself as you exited out your side of the car, making your way over to find Javi and Steve in a tight hug, lovingly patting each other on the back. 

“Fuck off, Murph.” Javi shook his head against Steve’s embrace, pulling away to grab your two bags from the backseat. 

“Listen, I’m not the one makin’ out in my driveway.” Steve shrugged as you sheepishly emerged from your side of the truck, smiling at you as grimaced at him. 

“He started it…” You glanced over at Javi, you and Steve now both giggling as he pulled you in for a hug. 

“Of course he did, wouldn’t put anything past this old bastard. How ya doin’ sweetheart? Good to see the both of you, we’re really glad you guys could make it. 

“She’s doing great after the hour and a half nap she took on the way here.” Javi interjected, slamming the truck door behind him, slinging both of your bags over his shoulder. 

“Whatever, you meanie. In my defense, I was not planning to sleep that long, and I think Halloween exhaustion got the best of me.” You shot Javi a quick wink, trying to bite down on your lip before turning back to face Steve. 

“Listen, I don’t blame ya. I’m fuckin’ exhausted after trick-or-treating with 3 kids, let alone tryin’ to keep ‘em wrangled at school all day. I love those girls, but I don’t think I could've gotten them in my parents car fast enough when they came to pick ‘em up this morning. Here, come on in, I won’t make you stand out in the driveway all day, unless you need to make out more.” 

As you stepped into the Murphy home, you were greeted by an abundance of Halloween streamers and banners hanging in the living room and up the stairwell to the second floor, along with a few Barbie dolls and accessories scattered across the entryway, nearly stepping on one as you came through the door. You could smell the sweet scent of something baking in the kitchen as Connie came rushing through the hallway, arms outstretched to greet you and Javi. “Oh it’s so good to see you two, thank you so much for coming!” Connie squeezed you and Javi in a tight hug before she backed away, kicking one of the toys on the floor across the room. “Sorry about the Barbies, I told the girls to clean up before they left for their grandparents this morning but I think all 3 of them are still running on a sugar high from last night and that obviously didn’t happen.” 

“Thank you so much for having us! Don’t worry about it at all, I totally understand! Javi was just telling me on the way over how much he was hoping the girls had Barbies he could play with anyways!” The 3 of you laughed as Javi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as you gave him a smirk and a little nudge. 

“Fuck, I forgot how funny she was Jav.” Steve snickered to himself, picking up one of the Barbies and tossing it across the room into one of the toy baskets along the wall. “Seriously though, we are really glad you guys could make it. Your birthday party was fun as hell, old man. Glad to be close enough to actually see each other and do stuff like this again.” 

Before Javi would respond, you all jumped, startled by the sound of the kitchen timer beeping rapidly from the other room. “Oh crap, sorry, I gotta grab the cupcakes out of the oven!” Connie grimaced apologetically, making her way back to the kitchen. 

“Do you need any help?” You asked, excited to spend more time with Connie. 

“Oh my gosh actually if you could help with frosting the cupcakes that would be amazing. I made these yesterday for Olivia and Abby’s class parties, and I had no idea it was gonna take so long and was worried I wasn’t going to have enough time for all of them before the party! Thank you!” 

“Of course!” You replied, grinning at her before following her lead to the kitchen, giving a little wave as you disappeared around the hall, looking back at Steve and Javi. “Have fun, you two.” 

Steve paused for a moment until the both of you were out of sight, waiting to forcefully slap his hand against Javi’s chest, making him groan from the unexpected pain. 

“What the fuck was that for, you jackass?” Javi winced, glaring at Steve. 

“Where the fuck’s the ring, man?! Steve hissed through gritted teeth, looking back at Javi in disappointment. “I thought you were gonna fuckin’ do it after you got back from Chicago and met her family?! I thought everything was all good with- oh shit, did something happen with the ho-” 

“Shhhhhh! You fuckin’ idiot, please, talk louder, I don’t think the people at the end of the street could hear you.” Javi looked around the corner, clenching his jaw, praying that you hadn’t heard anything from the kitchen. 

“I’m not that fuckin’ loud… Shit, what the fuck happened then?” Steve grumbled, looking over at Javi with concern. 

“Can we maybe talk about proposal plans somewhere that’s not right by the woman I’m trying to propose to?” Running his thumb over his balled fists, Javi’s eyes darted back and forth, staying on the lookout for your return. 

“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll show you where the guest room is and then you can tell me.” Steve motioned up the stairs, Javi trailing behind with both your bags draped around his shoulders

“Was I really that fuckin’ loud?” 

“…Have you heard yourself talk?” 

“So how’s everything been going at work? There definitely was a full moon sometime in the past week because things were crazy at the hospital, I’m sure they had to be equally as bad at an elementary school.” You and Connie giggled as you squeezed a dollop of orange frosting onto one of the cupcakes before taking one of the little bags to pipe on eyes and a mouth to make it look like a pumpkin. 

“Oh my god, I think it must have been on Wednesday, I had a boy cut another girl’s hair with scissors and then had to call another parent because her daughter bit another kid at recess pretending to play werewolves. I felt really bad we didn’t come last night, I was exhausted after our Halloween party, I fell asleep on poor Javi at like, 8 o’clock.” 

Although you found yourself laughing with Connie again, you couldn’t help but shake the uncomfortable feeling you had in your gut as you thought about after you had woken up in the middle of the night to find Javi wide awake and distressed. You carefully set down your spatula, taking a deep breath before glancing over at Connie, still frosting next to you. “Hey, uh, Connie? Can, um- Can I ask you something?” Connie immediately sensed the shift in your tone, putting down her cupcake. 

“Of course, honey. What’s going on?” 

“Did um, did- Did Steve ever- ever talk to you? About all the stuff that happened in Colombia? I mean like, I know you were there, but I don’t know. Sorry, I don’t know what I’m trying to ask, this is probably way too personal, I-” You could feel yourself shrinking, retracting in embarrassment at your overly intrusive question, unable to finish your thought before Connie cut you off, placing her hand on your shoulder. 

“Oh, honey…” Her eyes were filled with sympathy as they looked back at yours, letting out a sigh before she responded. “Did something happen?” You began to nod your head no, even though you could feel the words yes burning in your throat. You took another shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears now welling in your eyes as you spoke. 

“No I mean- well, yeah, I guess. Last night, I woke up and Javi wasn’t in bed. He was out in the living room and I could tell that something was bothering him. I don’t know- maybe it was nothing. I just- when my brothers came back from active duty, there were a lot of things that kind of just went unspoken. I knew it was hard for them to talk about. Charlie handled it okay, but my brother Patrick never wanted to talk to anyone about what happened, and it just- I don’t know Connie, I don’t think Javi would ever do anything stupid like he did, but- fuck- it scares me sometimes. I know Javi’s done things that he’s probably not proud of, and I get it’s part of the nature of what his job was. I don’t care. I really don’t. People do shitty things when they’re put in shitty situations. But he never talks about it. Ever. Does… Does he not trust me? I care about him so much, Con. More than anything. I get so worried about him.” 

Your tears were now streaming down your cheeks, leaving your face wet as you wiped the back of your hand across your skin to try and do some form of damage control before Connie embraced you, pulling you in for a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around you. “Oh sweetheart. Of course he trusts you. When Steve came back, he was a mess. I don’t think it really all hit him until he was finally home. I guess you’re right, it was different because I was there, but even then, there were things that happened that I didn’t know about. After begging and begging him, I finally got him to go to see someone and it really helped, but even now, there’s times where it still creeps up on him. Honey, Javi loves you so much. I didn’t think I’d ever live to see the day he was in love as he is with you. If he’s anything like Steve, he just doesn't wanna hurt you.” 

You sniffled, taking a step back to wipe your nose with your sleeve, your lip trembling as you tried to keep from crying harder than you already were. “But that’s what hurts, Connie. It hurts me to think he has to keep this from me, like I’m gonna think less of him for what he’s been through.” 

“I know. Have you talked to him about it?” Connie’s voice was gentle and sweet, rubbing her hand along your arm as she listened to what you needed to get off your chest. 

“No… I guess I should have. I never wanted to pry. I know it’s hard to talk about, I just- I wanna be there for him Connie. I don’t want him to have to do it all on his own.” You shifted your gaze to the ground, guilt washing over you. After Patrick, you couldn’t live with the idea of letting Javi try to suffer through his past alone. You loved him more than anything- and even the slightest thought of going through anything similar to what had happened to Patrick again with Javi was almost paralyzing. 

“I think the best thing you can do is to go talk to him.” Looking back up, you saw Connie smiling at you, trying to convince you that everything would be okay, even if it felt like it wasn’t. “Why don’t you go find him? Party’s starting soon anyways, you can go change into your costumes and come down wherever you’re ready. I’ll be just fine with the cupcakes, tell Steve can put himself to work frosting.” The both of you grinned as you tried to wipe your tears, nodding slowly in agreement. 

“Thanks, Connie.” You whispered into her shoulder as you pulled her in for a hug before heading up the stairs to find where Javi and Steve had gone. It didn’t take you long to find the pair, hearing their voices carry through the hallway from the slightly cracked door of the guest bedroom. You were about to knock and interrupt their conversation, stopping yourself with your fist barely touching the door as you tried to make out what they were talking about. 

“The offer was in fucking cash, too. I was trying to make it easier so I could speed up the process, but it’s been taking them so goddamn long to close on everything so I can finally go sign the fucking paperwork.” 

“That fuckin’ blows, Jav. I’m sorry. It’s not like she knows any better, though. It’ll still be a huge fuckin’ surprise, I’ll tell you that much.” 

“I know. It’s been killing me to wait this long. I just want it to be perfect, Steve. She deserves everything. Honestly, I’m kinda glad it bought me some more time. I need to find a way to get her to see it before everything’s official in case she fucking hates it.” 

“Javi. She’s not gonna hate it. Fuck it, tell her Connie and I are lookin’ for somethin’ and we wanted you two to go see it for us. I don’t know, maybe that’s too obvious. Speakin’ of which, I should probably go check to see if she needs anything before this party, I’m already in the fuckin’ dog house for forgettin’ to bring the girl’s trick-or-treatin’ bags to school, I don’t need to be in trouble for anything else.” 

What the hell were they talking about? What was Javi signing? Why was it taking so long? What the hell did it have to do with you? Wait… holy fuck. No way… Was he- 

Before you could finish your thought, you suddenly realized Steve was making his way towards the door. You quickly rapped your fist against the wood, trying to play off the fact you had been eavesdropping and make it look like you had just unassumingly made your way upstairs, not overhearing the conversation the two were just having. 

Knock, knock. 

“Hey, it’s me! Uh, Steve, Con wants to know if you can help her with the cupcakes really quick.” You pushed open the door, trying your best to smile at the suspicious pair as Steve shook his head, looking back at Javi. 

“It’s always fuckin’ somethin’. I don’t even know what I did wrong this time, I swear.” Steve held up his hands defensively, sliding his way past you in the doorway before heading downstairs, leaving you standing there awkwardly, unsure how to feel after your conversation with Connie and the one you had just overheard. 

“Hey, Osita. How’s everything goin’ down there? Sorry, we were just about to come down and- Hey, baby, you okay?” Javi stood up, concern spreading across his face from the strange scrunch in your brow as you stared at the floor. 

“Ummmm…” You froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. On the one hand, your conversation with Connie had you ready to confront Javi, to finally work up the courage to ask him about the past life he had tried his best to keep from you. But as you glanced over at him, seeing his sweet brown eyes and stupidly handsome face, remembering the discussion you had just overheard through the doorway, the other hand meant you weren’t at risk of ruining your night that the two of you had been so looking forward to, and right now, the other hand was going to have to be the one you needed to play. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, I just- I was gonna ask you something but forgot what I was gonna say. I’m sure I’ll remember it eventually.” You smiled at Javi, neither of you completely convinced by your response. “But um, Connie said that people are gonna start getting here soon, so we can change into our costumes if you want.” A smirk slowly stretched across your cheeks as you nodded over to the black duffle bags laying on the bed. 

Javi’s grin matched yours quickly, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer against him as you giggled. “You sure we’re not gonna be the only ones dressed up?” 

“Well considering it’s a Halloween party and I literally just talked to Connie about what she and Steve are wearing downstairs, I’m gonna give it a pretty confident yes. Worst case, it just looks like you’re wearing a white shirt and vest, Mr. Solo. You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerf herder.” You raised your eyebrows, playfully poking at his chest. Javi paused, shaking his head at your quote, firing one right back at you as he bit down on his lip. 

“You just like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.” 

“I happen to like nice men.” 

“I am a nice man.”  

Javi cupped your face, pulling you in for a long, heavy kiss before backing away to unpack your bags, shooting you a quick wink as you rolled your eyes. Jesus, he even found a way to make Star Wars sexy. Just when you thought you couldn’t be anymore in love, Javier Peña never failed to find a way to make you realize you’d never stop falling for him. 

After putting in what felt like the 74th bobby pin into your hair after getting the last braid wrapped over your head, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror, pleasantly surprised by how well your costume had turned out. While Javi was disappointed you were adamant you were not going as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi and showing up in front of a group of strangers at Steve and Connie’s party in her slave costume, you and Javi both agreed that Hoth Princess Leia was definitely the next best look. Staring at you with his puppy dog eyes, Javi had been adamant about waiting with you as you finished getting ready, leaning his hip against the bathroom counter, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you finish the last of your hair and makeup. 

“Okay, I think that should stay. All those years of braiding my hair for under my hockey helmet are finally coming in handy for something.” You snickered, pushing the final clip into your hair to hold it into place, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. As you looked yourself down, Javi’s eyes wandered up and down your body just as fast, practically undressing you as fast as you had put your costume on. 

“Goddamn, Osita… Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

“Me? Jesus Christ, Javi. You put Harrison Ford to shame with how fucking good you look. I like Han Solo better with a mustache anyways.” You licked your tongue against your bottom lip, running your hands along the muscles of his arms, straining against the tight henley shirt he was wearing under his vest. You were no better than Javi, practically having to force yourself to not look in his general direction while you were getting ready to prevent yourself from pouncing on him. But given the lack of chatter downstairs, and the impressive speed at which the two of you had gotten ready, you really couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, you let your hands begin to slip down his arms and across his chest, palming at the denim of his black jeans as he let out a deep groan. 

“Hermosa…” He hissed against your neck as you grasped at the bulge now growing under his pants, your other hand now making its way down to undo his belt, the clinking of the metal drowned out by Javi’s heavy panting. You began lowering your body, sliding Javi’s pants and boxers down his thighs as his cock sprang free, his tip already red and leaking with precum. You rested on your knees, face to face with his length as you wrapped your hand around him, slowly stroking him a few times. 

“This okay, Captain Solo?” You batted your lashes at him, giving him a wink before letting your spit dribble onto his cock, taking his tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. Curling your fingers around his base, you began to twist your wrist, hollowing out your cheeks as you took him deeper into your mouth. 

“Oh, fuck me. Holy shit, Osita.” He moaned, tilting his head back, letting his jaw go slack as your head bobbed back and forth. He gently rested his hand along the side of your face, helping to guide you along his length as you took him deeper and deeper down your throat. “Jesus Christ, baby. Fuck, that feels so good. You look so hot, god fuckin’ dammit.” Javi’s words were labored and shaky as you started to increase your pace, wrapping your free hand around the back of his bare thigh, digging your fingertips into his leg. Feeling the pressure beginning to build in his stomach, Javi began rocking his hips, his jaw completely slack as he looked down at the sight of how well you took him in your mouth, saliva dribbling down your chin as sucked along his cock, hard and heavy on your tongue. “Fuck, Osita. I’m not gonna last much longer. Can I cum like this, baby? Fill up that- fuck- fill up that pretty little mouth of yours?”” 

You glanced up at him, nodding, your lips still wrapped around his dick, the motions of your head and wrist now becoming faster and sloppier as you watched Javi’s brow scrunch and jaw clench, a sign you knew all too well that he was moments away from coming undone. 

“Such a good fucking girl, taking me so well. Fuck, baby- shit- se sientes tan bien, estoy tan cercaaahhhhhh-” (you feel so good, I’m so closeeeee-). The hot ropes of his spend coated the back of your throat, the salty, tangy mix filling your mouth as Javi whined, giving his hips one last push as kept your lips wrapped around him, making sure that you had milked him of every last drop before releasing. Letting your spit and his release fall from the corners of your lips, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, smirking up at Javi’s blissed out expression. “Jesus Christ, Osita. You’re too fucking good at that. Holy shit. Lemme take care of-“ 

You held up your hand to stop him as you stood up, your gesture cutting off the rest of his sentence as you helped to pull up his jeans and boxers still resting along his thighs. “I’m allowed to give my hot ass boyfriend blowjobs without anything in return. C’mon, we better get downstairs before Steve walks in on us again.” You pressed up on your tiptoes, planting a quick kiss on Javi’s lips as he reached down to buckle his belt before the two of you tried your best to fix yourself up in the mirror to avoid the inevitable shit Steve was about to give the both of you. Giving Javi a quick nod in the mirror before turning off the light and heading out the door, he gave your ass a playful smack, making you squeal in surprise, making you turn on your heels. Resting his hand on his hip, he beamed at you, biting down on his lip. 

“Fuck, I love you.” 

“I know.” 

The Murphy’s living room had begun to pool with guests as you made your way down the stairs, looking for Steve and Connie amongst the crowd. You and Javi both grabbed a beer from the cooler at the bottom of the stairwell, quickly turning around as you heard Steve’s familiar twang approaching behind you. 

“Well I’ll be damned. You got this motherfucker in a costume? He must really love you.” Steve chuckled, shaking Javi by the shoulders. “And Star Wars too?! You asshole, how many times did I try to tell you they were good fuckin’ movies?! You shoulda dressed him up like Jabba the Hut.” You and Steve cackled as Javi rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and what the fuck are you supposed to be? A sad pirate?” Javi jabbed, poking fun at Steve’s poorly put together costume. 

“Listen, Olivia and Abby both wanted to be the Little Mermaid, so we had two Ariel’s, Con was Ursula, Madison was the yellow fish and I didn’t wanna be that annoying ass crab, so pirate it was, asshole.” Steve retorted, punching at Javi’s arm, the two of them laughing at each other like little boys. “Alright, go enjoy yourselves lovebirds, I’ll see ya in a little bit. And Javi?”

“Yeah Murph?” 

“You really gotta start checkin’ your pants, buddy.” 

Javi’s cheeks turned red, his eyes darting down to his zipper, still all the way undone from your activities upstairs, the both of you grimacing at each other, sheepishly avoiding eye contact with Steve as he disappeared into the crowd. 

It really wasn’t a surprise to Javi how many friends the Murphy’s had already managed to make in their time since moving to San Antonio. Their house was quickly crowded with all sorts of people- Steve and Connie’s co-workers, neighbors, parents of friends Olivia and Abby had made at school, regardless of where the party goers were from, everyone had collectively agreed to make adult Halloween just as fun as any kids. You and Javi were having a great time catching up with Steve and Connie, as well as meeting some of their other close friends, one of Connie’s neighbors being an elementary school teacher, giving you two plenty to commiserate about from the hellish week it had been. It didn’t take long for the party to move outside, Steve drunkenly deciding that he needed to make a bonfire, despite adamant argument that with the amount of alcohol Steve had in his system, he was going to spontaneously combust if he got close enough to a flame. Javi, sober enough to still help his friend make rational decisions, was glad that Steve was happy to let him build the bonfire. 

“The force is strong with you, Han Solo.” You giggled, Javi wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss into your forehead as the two of you stared into the flickering orange glow of the fire pit. 

“Not strong enough to extinguish Steve if he got close enough to it. Hey, I got shit all over my hands, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and wash ‘em off. You need anything while I’m inside, Princess?” You smiled as you nudged Javi at the nickname he had been adamant about using since you had put on your costume. 

“I’m good, thank you. I’m gonna go wait over on the swingset so I don’t completely reek of bonfire later.” Javi nodded as he slid his hand down your back, giving your ass a quick squeeze before making his way through the crowd, heading towards the house. Surprised no one else had capitalized on the chance to sit down, you wandered over to the wooden playset at the corner of the Murphy’s backyard, taking a seat on one of the plastic swings, kicking your feet against the grass below. 

“Hey, there she is! How goes it, Leia?” Taking a few long strides through the yard, Steve was now quickly making his way over to you, stumbling over his own feet as he somehow managed to sit himself down on the swing next to you. You tried your best not to laugh at Steve’s drunken state, but his current antics weren’t making it very easy on you. 

“I could ask the same to you. You doin’ okay there, pirate?” 

“Fuck sweetheart, I’m doin’ fuckin’ great. Where’s the asshole?” 

“Inside, I’m sure he’ll be back out soon.” You snickered at Steve watching the beer dribble down his chin from the overly confident swig he had taken. 

“Good, I don’t need ‘em right now. You were the one I was lookin’ for.” Steve pointed in your general direction, but clearly wasn’t aware enough to hit his target head on. 

“Me?” You laughed, pointing back to yourself. 

“Yes, you. You talk to him yet?”

“About?” You paused, wondering if Steve had any inkling of the conversation you were planning to have earlier, or if he was drunkenly deciding you and Javi needed to discuss something else. 

“You know about what. I talked to Connie earlier. I figured I owed it to you to come talk to you about it, too.” 

Your heart began to race, that uncomfortable feeling once again beginning to churn in your stomach as you thought about the things you and Connie had discussed earlier. “Steve, you don’t owe me anything, I-” 

“No, I do. Hold on a second.” Steve turned away, letting out a hearty burp, pouding on his chest before facing back towards you. “Sorry, I’ve been holdin’ that in for like 10 minutes, I needed to let it out. Anyways… What was I sayin’? Oh shit, yeah, the grumpy bastard. Listen, sweetheart. I know it’s gonna fuckin’ suck,  but you gotta be the one to bring it up and talk to him about it. If I know anything about that motherfucker, it’s that he will bottle things up for way too fuckin’ long until someone gets it out of him. He’s a good guy. He says he’s not, but he is. Saved my ass more times than I can count. That job made us do some fucked up shit neither of us are fuckin’ proud of. But that doesn’t mean he gets to keep it from you. I swear to God, that asshole is so fuckin’ in love with you, it makes me sick. You make him so happy. He just doesn’t wanna fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to him.” 

You weren’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but in that moment, all you could manage was to reach over to the swing next to you, pulling Steve in for a hug as you tried to keep your tears from staining his shirt. “Thanks, Steve.” You whispered, leaning back into your seat, using your sleeve to wipe the wetness from your cheeks. 

“I know you love him too. You deserve to know. Don’t let him be a stubborn jackass to you, okay? I’m bein’ serious. I should be the one thankin’ you though, honey. In all the years I’ve known him, I never thought I’d see ‘em this happy. I promise I won’t get this drunk at your wedding.” Steve winked, straining to push himself up out of the swing, somehow managing to catch his balance as he stumbled into the grass. 

“You do make a very inspirational drunk, Steve.” You laughed to yourself, looking up at him with a genuine smile. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Alright, enough sap, I’m gonna go get another fuckin’ beer, I’ll see ya around okay?” 

“Okay, maybe a water would be good for you, too.” 

“Water’s for pussies.” 

“Water’s good for people who don’t want raging hangovers tomorrow.” 

“Pirates are always drunk, so I’ll be fuckin’ fine.” 

“Whatever you say, Steve.” 

It didn’t take long for Javi to return, easily spotting his tall, broad body making his way through the crowd, beaming at you as he walked over to the swings. You tried your best to smile back at him with the uneasy pounding in your chest quickly building, feeling your heartbeat in your throat. “Hey, Hermosa. Sorry it took so long, I ended up stopping to get another drink on the-“ 

“Do- Javi, do you trust me?” 

Your words were quiet and blunt as they rolled off your tongue, your eyes peeled on your feet kicking through the grass beneath you. 

Javi’s brow immediately scrunched in confusion, completely off put by your question and demeanor. “Do I- Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I trust you? What’s going on?” Setting down his drink, he began making his way next to you in frantic, worried strides. 

“Then why won’t you talk to me about it?” Your eyes darted from the ground up to his, his sweet brown eyes swirling with confusion at the firm tone of your voice and desperation growing across your face. 

“Talk to you about what? Hermosa, what’s going on? Is everything ok-” 

“Why won’t you talk to me about Colombia?” 

 Javi took a step back. He wasn’t sure if it was out of defense, or absolute shock from the words that had just fallen out of your mouth. He stared at you for a moment, his jaw locking as you could see how hard he swallowed, trying to bide his time as he calculated his response. 

“Osita… It’s not that simple.” 

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I don’t understand why we’re talking about this. Baby, if this is because of last night, you don’t need to worry about me, can we please just drop it?” The two of you faced each other in an unspoken standoff, Javi’s hands now resting on his hips as you crossed your arms over your chest. You had tried so hard to be patient, but in the moment, it was like all of your frustration was beginning to boil over. 

“That’s exactly why we’re talking about this, Javi. Because I fucking worry about you. All the time. I’ve tried so hard to be patient. I’ve never, ever tried to get you to talk about it because I know it’s fucking hard. But last night, you’re up at 2 A.M, wandering around the apartment, and I’m begging you to tell me what’s wrong and you won’t fucking do it. I’m not an idiot, Javi. I can’t live in this weird in between space in your life where you pretend your past doesn’t exist when I know it still fucking haunts you. Why won’t you just talk to me about it?” 

Javi could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his palms sweating as they clenched in tight fists at his sides. He tried so desperately to find an answer, something, anything he could tell you to try and justify his choices. The choices he had kept from you. The choices he couldn’t forgive himself for. “Because, I- fuck- because, goddamnit, I just- I was a terrible fucking person, okay? The things I did, they were-” 

“What? Fucked up? Painful? Shitty? Of course they fucking were, Javi. You were literally in Colombia chasing down Pablo Fucking Escobar. What did you think I thought you were doing down there? Filing away paperwork? You don’t think I know that you did things you regret? That you’ve hurt people? Made choices that hurt innocent people who didn’t deserve it? I know Javi, I fucking know. I watched my brothers come back from the same goddamn thing. I tried so hard to give them space, to let them come to terms with the fucked up things they did on their own, and you know what fucking happened? One of them’s fucking dead because of it. I can’t let it happen again. I don’t care about what you did. It doesn’t make you a bad person. But you can’t try and hide it from me and pretend like it doesn’t exist. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But I can’t if you don’t trust me. Please trust me. Please. I love you so much, Javi. I can’t lose you.” 

Javi stood in silence, as the both of you fought the tears streaming down your cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he had just been hit in the gut with a giant sucker punch, or if the weight of the world had just been lifted off his shoulders. He truly didn’t know how to feel. He wasn’t even sure if he had heard you correctly. Did you really just tell him that you knew about the fucked up, terrible things he had done and that you didn’t care? That you still fucking loved him? All you wanted was for him to trust that you wanted to be there for him? He could feel his hands trembling and lip quivering as he tried to find the words to speak.

 “Osita… I- fuck, baby. Osita, I’m so sorry. I trust you with my fucking life. You- You don’t deserve to have to deal with with all the fucked up things I’ve done. I don’t wanna scare you away, baby. You’re the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to me and I was so terrified if you found out about the terrible person I used to be, you’d leave. It’s not fair to you, I can’t expect you to carry the weight of all the fucking things I’ve done, too. I’m so sorry.” Quietly, Javi sat down next to you on the empty swing, burying his hands in his face. Gently, you reached over, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look at you. 

“Whatever you tell me isn’t gonna scare me away. I promise. The only thing that’s gonna scare me is when you try to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Javi… Javi, I just- I just wanna be there for you. I don’t want you to have to do it alone. I’d do anything for you. I trust you more than anyone. You’re my best friend. I just- fuck- I just want you to trust that I’ll always be there for you to. I promise.” 

And just like that, the last brick holding up the wall between you and Javier Peña collapsed. There was nothing left to run from. Nothing left to hide. After he returned home, he was a changed man. He had hated the person he had become. Maybe there was a part of him that didn’t want to be loved, because he didn’t believe that he deserved to be. But then, there was you. 

You. 

You had taken everything he had known and changed his life for the better. You had become his better half, the person he loved more than anyone in the world. You had proved he was worthy of more than just existing- you had proved to Javi that he was worth the love and happiness you had promised him from the moment you had come into his life and made it worth living for. 

“You promise?” 

“I promise. Always.” 

The way Javi grabbed you and wrapped you in his arms, grasping at the back of your shirt as he pulled you in tighter, feeling the hot breath of his silent sobs against your shoulder told you everything you needed to know. You didn’t know much, but if there was one thing you did know, it was that you loved Javier Peña more than life itself. As quickly as it had felt like your life had fallen apart, he had come into it and picked up the broken pieces to put it back together. And on an October night in San Antonio, sitting on an old wooden swing set in the Murphy’s backyard, you hoped that Javi knew that you would always be there to pick up the shattered parts of his past, too. 

You weren’t sure how many hours had passed as you sat hand in hand in the swings with Javi as you listened to anything and everything he had to say. Long after the backyard was empty, and the bonfire had faded to embers and ashes, and the only one left awake besides the two of you was Connie, trying to drag Steve back inside from the plastic lawn chair he had passed out on, you finally made your way up to bed for the best sleep the two of you had in a very, very long time. Your goodbyes to the Murphy’s had been short and sweet- Connie exhausted from the late night, and Steve barley coherent from how hungover he was, you were still both so thankful the two of you had made the journey out to see them, and the both of you, just as grateful for the sweet and supportive life long friends you knew the Murphy’s would become. Most of your drive back to Laredo was spent in a comfortable silence, the golden sunrise spilling through the windows of Javi’s truck as you cruised down the highway, Javi’s hand never leaving yours, your fingers intertwined together as his thumb gently rubbed against your soft skin and your head rested against his broad shoulder. 

“How are you feeling about seeing your mom today?” You asked, lightly squeezing his arm as you smiled up at him, now exiting off the freeway quickly approaching the cemetery where you planned to meet Chucho to celebrate Día De Los Muertos, trying your best to comfort Javi as he prepared to see his mom’s gravesite for the first time since her funeral almost a decade ago. Javi let out a quiet sigh, his grip tightening just a little tighter around your hand as he looked over at you, a surprisingly calm look flooding his face. 

“I’m actually doing okay. Better than I would have thought. I think I was always so worried that she wouldn’t be proud of me and the man I’d become after she was gone. I um- I finally think that she’d be proud of me now.” He glanced over at you, his smile soft and tender as he soaked in the reason for his pride sitting right beside him. 

You noticed Chucho’s truck as you pulled up to park along the edge of the small cemetery, Chucho excitedly waving you down as you both hopped out of the car. Walking around to Javi, you were quick to grab his hand, giving him a reassuring grip as the two of you made your way through the gravestones along the thin cobblestone path towards Chucho, already arranging the items he had collected for Lucia’s ofrenda. 

“Hola, niños.” Chucho grinned, wrapping his arms around the both of you. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Thanks for letting me be a part of today, Chucho. I know… Well, I just- I’m really honored to- just, thank you.” Chucho wasted no time pulling you into your own hug, his rough and worn hands holding you by the shoulders as he looked at you with misty eyes. 

“Mija, I should be thanking you. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if we would all be here today. Lucia’s last wish to me was that I would promise to make sure Javier was happy. Now hija, I think my sweet Lucia can rest a little easier knowing someone else has already fulfilled my promise for me.” As the two of you spoke, you hadn’t noticed as Javi had quietly stepped over to his mother’s gravestone, crouching next to it, his fingers delicately tracing along the engraved letters of her name, his other hand holding one of the marigold flowers Chucho had brought with him. The two of you watched quietly as Javi sat next to his mom, gently placing the flower on the shiny stone as he spoke. 

“Hola, mamá. Te extrañé. Siento haber tarado tanto.” (Hi mom. I missed you. I’m sorry I took so long). Javi’s voice trembled as he took a deep breath in, slowly exhaling as his hand rested on the stone, warm from the sun, shining brightly in the blue November sky. “Que estaba asustada de de verte porque estaba orgullosala de la persona en la que me había convertido. Que no quería decepcionarte. Tenía miedo mucho, mamá. Me sentí como si todo se derrumbase. solo quería olvidar. Pero entonces…” (I was scared to see you because I wasn’t proud of the person I’d become. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I was so scared, mom. I felt like I let everyone down. I just wanted to forget. But then…).  Javi turned his head, seeing you and Chucho, arm in arm, a smile growing across his face as looked back at the two people in life he loved the most. He took an extra moment to stare at you and the soft grin spread between your cheeks, basking in the comfort and warmth of the woman who had forever changed his life for the better. “Pero entonces, mamá, La conocí. Que es perfecta. Nunca supe que podías amar tanto a alguien. Ella es lo mejor que me ha pasado. La habrías amado.ella es una maestra, tambien.  A veces me pregunto qué ve en mí. No sé qué hice para merecerse. voy a pedirle que se case conmigo.Cuidaré bien de ella. Ella se merece todo lo que le pueda dar y más. Espero que estés orgulloso de mí, mamá. te echo mucho, Pero le juro a usted, al fin soy feliz. Te amo, mamá.”  (But then, mom, I met her. She is perfect. I never knew you could love someone so much. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You would have loved her. She’s a teacher too. Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. I’m gonna ask her to marry me. I’m gonna take such good care of her. She deserves everything I can give her and more. I hope you’re proud of me, mamá. I miss you so much, but I promise you, I’m finally happy. I love you, mom.) 

With a gentle nudge from Chucho, you softly stepped behind Javi, gently placing your hands on his shoulders before he rose up and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest as he wiped away the tears welling behind his eyes. Staring down at Lucia’s gravestone, Javi ran his hand through your hair, carefully planting a kiss against your head and burying his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

“I wish I would have had the chance to have met you, Mrs. Peña. I would have had someone else to commensurate with over all of the crazy teaching stories I’m sure the both of us have. Maria, Estelle and Linda all miss you a lot too, but I’m sure they haven’t changed a bit. Thanks for raising such a good son. I don’t know what I would do without him. I know he says that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve me, but I really think it should be the other way around. I promise I’ll look out for him.” You tried your best to smile through your soft sobs, looking up at Javi, tears streaming down his wet cheeks. It wasn’t long before Chucho had snuck up behind you, patting each of you on the back before smiling down at Lucia, too. 

“Estos dos están tan enamorados, Lucia. Tal vez más que tú y yo. Ella es una buena chica. Estoy muy contenta de que ella sea parte de nuestra familia. Finalmente tendremos a nuestros nietos, también.”  (These two are so in love, Lucia. Maybe even more than you and I. She is a great girl. I am so happy she is a part of our family. We are finally going to get our grandchildren, too). Chucho winked, nudging Javi in the side, forcing him to laugh through his tears, shaking his head at his dad’s comment. “Now, no more tears, you two. This is a happy day. Your mamá is smiling down on you, and I can almost hear here scolding me to keep you from crying anymore. C’mon, let’s decorate and eat, I even brought pozole.” 

The three of you spent the next hour decorating Lucia’s grave with bright orange and gold cempazuchitl (marigold flowers) and little Calaveras (sugar skulls) painted in bold colors and refined details, sharing and laughing about Javi’s favorite memories of his mother while snacking on the Pozole Chucho had brought to share. For the first time in a long time, Javi no longer felt guilt and grief when he thought about his mom- her memory filled him with love and joy. He wasn’t the same bitter, broken man he was when he had said his final goodbyes to his mother all those years ago. While he wished he could change the past, the reality of the present, and his future finally brought him peace, knowing he could be proud of the man he had become, thanks to you. 

As Javi helped Chucho to clean up the extra flowers and decorations he had brought, you couldn’t help yourself from reaching at the wrinkled photo you had shoved in your pocket as you had packed up to leave from the Murphy’s this morning. You carefully took it out, holding it gently in your hands as you tried to uncrinkle the edges. “You ready, Hermosa?” Javi called out, now a few steps ahead of you, making his way back towards the truck. “Hermosa?” He asked again, thinking perhaps you hadn’t heard him the first time. When he was greeted by silence again, he looked back to see you staring at the crumpled photo in your hands. 

“I um- I know that he isn’t buried here, and uh, if you don’t want me to, it’s okay- but um- is it, is it alright if I leave a couple flowers for Patrick?” You sniffed, a tear dropping down on the photo of the two of you, Patrick holding you in a headlock as you laughed with a wide, toothy grin, drowning in one of his old Blackhawks jerseys that you were so excited to wear because it belonged to him. 

“Of course, Osita. Of course it is.” Javi smiled at you softly, turning back around with the tub of leftover decorations, making his way towards you. Quietly, you walked back over to Lucia’s gravestone, carefully setting down the picture of you and Patrick next to it, putting a few marigolds over top of it so it stayed pinned in place from the warm breeze. 

“I miss you, asshole. You deserved so much better. I hope you don’t still think that I hate you. I mean, I do, but you know what I mean. Honestly, you were lucky you didn’t have to live through the Blackhawks losing in the playoffs this year, that fucking sucked. Mom and Dad and Charlie and David all miss you too. I finally went back home to see them. It still wasn’t the same without you there, but I know you don’t hurt anymore. I hope that you don’t hurt anymore. I love you, Patrick. Crack open a cold one up there for me, okay?” Trying your best to not to uncontrollably sob, you sniffled, wiping the tears running down your face as you leaned your head against Javi’s chest. He ran his hand along your back as he held you tighter, letting you take a moment to get everything out before you took a deep breath, nodding your head as if to signify to Javi and yourself that you were okay. 

“You okay, Osita? We can take all the time you need, baby.” Javi whispered, pressing a gentle kiss into your shoulder. 

“No, I’m okay. I just- I wanted to do something for him, too. Thanks, Javi. I love you.” 

“I know.” 

After several more long hugs goodbye with Chucho, you and Javi began your journey back home, marveling at the beautiful sunset, painting the sky with bright pinks and oranges and the warmth and comfort of Lucia and Patrick’s presence. You were so lost in thought staring out at the fading sky, you hadn’t even noticed that Javi had detoured from your usual route home until he had said something to you. “You okay if we make a quick pit stop on the way home, Osita?” You nodded, smiling at the golden glow covering his face. It wasn’t long until you were veering off the main road, Javi turning to make his way down a tree lined gravel pathway with a “For Sale” sign posted in front of it. 

“For sale?” You questioned, looking over at Javi before peering out your window to watch the trees lining the path pass by you as the gravel crunched under the truck’s tires.

“Yeah, uh- I was talking with Steve at the party yesterday and he- uh, one of his buddies said he was looking to get out of the city- wanted a plot of land to build on. Said he had heard good things about Laredo but didn’t have time to go check things out for himself, so I told him I would go take a look around and let Steve know what I thought.” Javi replied, trying his best to sound nonchalant as you shrugged before looking back out the window. As you reached the end of the path, the trees opened to reveal a beautiful, lush green field, the sun setting perfectly along the rolling hills of the horizon in front of you. Turning off the ignition, Javi gestured for the both of you to get out of the truck so you could go take a look around. 

“Jav… This is beautiful.” You marveld, grinning as you took in the beauty of the open space drenched in golden sunset. 

“You like it?” Javi grinned, laughing as you spun around, the gentle breeze blowing your hair in and out of your face. 

“Oh my God, yeah. Tell Steve’s friend to get on this place ASAP before I scrounge up every penny I have and sell one of my kidneys on the black market to buy it from him. There doesn’t even need to be a house, I’ll just lay in the empty field, perfectly content.” You giggled, letting out a happy sigh as you grabbed Javi’s hand, leaning your head against his arm as you admired the sun slipping away below the horizon. 

“I’ll take that as a yes then. He said he’s wanting to build a house here, do you think- do you think that he would think it’s got enough space? It’s not too far from everything? I know it’s a little farther from downtown and a longer drive to work- if uh, if he works by where we do, you don’t think that’d be a problem? For him?” Javi squeezed back, trying his best not to stumble over his words. 

“Are you kidding me? It’s literally perfect out here, Javi. Could you imagine getting to see this every night? He better put some big windows on this house so he can get all of the sunlight, oh my god, it would be so pretty. It’s not even that far from everything, and the view makes the extra drive time worth every minute. I know it’s probably a far way off, and we haven’t really talked about it, but I would love to live at a place like this someday.” 

Javi smiled to himself, looking down at you as you rested against him, soaking in every ounce of you as he shifted his arm to wrap around your waist, gently rubbing his thumb along the soft hem of your shirt before letting out a content sigh. 

“Yeah. Me too.”

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd

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[mrscarmenbearzatto]

exes with benefits | lip gallagher

inspired by: olivia rodrigo's "bad idea, right?" (2023)

wc: 1.83k | nav post mae note: okay i hate the ending of this so if anyone else hates it please lmk and i will adjust it because ugh i changed it like three times and it still feels... meh? idk i feel like i need to make a part two (if people even like this??)

rating: 18+ post, minors dni. :-) content warnings: fem!reader / afab!reader, unwrapped p in v (wrap it before you tap it!), kinda public sex??, exes hooking up, plot with little plot, unsettled ending lmfao, fem!fingering, oral (f recieving) bc lets be honest lip is a munch, brief mention of reader wearing panties/a bra

House parties were never really your "scene".

The chaos and uncertaintiy of whose house you're even in, the smell of colognes and perfumes and sweat, the alcohol being mixed together in plastic cups that are discarded on the floor later that smell like Disneyland if it wasn't cleaned in a month-. Every part of a house party sounds awful. So, why are you standing in one now?

Well, your friend Lauren would be the reason why. Work had been a bitch for her recently - her words not yours - and you had gone through a breakup recently, prompting her to suggest a girl's night out. How you ended up at a house party from the crappy bar she dragged you to in downtown Chicago was beyond you.

"C'mon! This is totally gonna distract you from Lippy and all the drama he brought. To being single!" Lauren drunkingly cheers as she holds up her plastic cup of (you're sure) three different kinds of alcohol. You hold up your glass of water barely, running a hand over your face. "Yeah, can we not announce that?" You ask.

Two seconds later, she's giggling with a guy leading her up the stairs. You sigh, turning to go get some fresh air when there he stands. Lip Gallagher. Your freshly appointed ex-boyfriend. Or Lippy, as Lauren refers to him.

You and Lip had dated for two years, but you'd known him since you were kids. Your relationship was perfect, until one night. When he called you clingy, a bitch - this was of course after not talking to you for almost a whole week. You told him that night you were done with him. That he could call when he figured himself out.

He didn't call. It'd been a month.

It doesn't feel real that time has passed that quickly, because part of you is still stuck in his bedroom. Right where he left you. A lesson well learned.

"Hi." He says, as he stares at you. You stare right back.

"Hi." You manage to get out, clearing your throat. "I have to go-"

"Wait. Can we talk, please?" He asks, walking over to you, a hand on your arm as he whispers to you. The world stops for a pause before you nod. "Fine." You agree.

You let him lead you upstairs into an empty room, taking it in. It looks to be a guest bedroom, few decorations other then picture frames with the "welcome to our home" and flower vases on the nightstands.

"Welcome to my hell" would be a better fit.

"Why are we avoiding each other like this? You've been my best friend since I was fucking ten years old, I don't want us to lose each other like this." He says as you sit on the edge of the bed, taking note of the floral bedspread. "We already lost each other, Lip. A long time ago." You point out.

"Don't do this shit, don't be all cryptic." He rolls his eyes as you stand right back up, almost giving yourself whiplash. But that's disregarded when every memory floods back to you.

"Oh my God! What the hell do you want from me, Lip, huh? You want me to just forget every single thing you said to me? Or maybe you want me to just forget how you avoided me like the damn plague for a week before you finally did call me just to blow up at me and tell me you didn't want to be with me anymore. You can't go from telling me I was your favorite person to telling me you think I'm a bitch. And I can’t even look at my favorite person anymore, so what the fuck do you expect me to do?" You burst out, turning away from him, staring out the window.

It's silent for what feels like an eternity before you feel his arms wrap around your waist from behind. "I don't want to lose you. I- I haven't been me since you left. Please." He isn't sure what he's even begging for from you, but his voice is soft enough where you feel yourself wanting to give in.

This was a bad idea, right? After all, he was your ex. But you're both mature adults, can't two people reconnect? You'd only see him as a friend this time, it wasn't like he had to be something more.

You sigh as you push his arms off, walking for the door, waiting for a moment before locking it. You turn back around to face him, walking over to him and barely grazing his lips with your own to tease him before he kisses you. His hands find themselves on your waist like how he used to put them there when he kissed you like this.

Used. It still doesn't feel real to use parts of your relationship in the past tense. How you used to kiss him, how he used to hold you, how he used to be yours.

You kick your shoes off, and he does the same.

He pushes you back onto the bed, deepening the kiss. His tongue slides into your mouth easily, one hand on your back, the other sliding up your thigh. He knows your body so well, it's almost a science to him. He knows how your body reacts to certain touches. Certain places to kiss to make you giggle. Parts of your body that if he touches them, your back arches or you naturally move closer to them.

Like right now. His hand teasing around your sex, not quite touching where you so desperately want him.

His mouth only parts from yours to begin kissing down your jaw, then onto your neck. Finding solace there, he makes a mark on your pulse point, low moans erupting from you. Hands running through disheveled curls.

His hand finally reaches your cunt, and you hear him groan at the wetness growing on your panties. He looks at you for confirmation, and you nod desperately in return, not sure what he’s planning in that genius brain of his.

He removes your shirt so he can kiss your chest. Then your bottoms, leaving you in only your bra and panties. A finger slides those panties to the side, and he lets out another groan as he slides the digit past your slick folds, and you let out a gasp in return. You give a little tug to his hair and he almost moans at it, which you make a mental note of.

He thrusts his finger out, at a torturously slow pace, all while kissing down your body. You quickly realize when he grins up at you what he wants to do. What he feels he needs to do. You give him a nod of your approval, moans still flooding out.

He stops thrusting and removes his finger, only to replace it with his tongue. Sucking and kissing your clit, sliding his tongue in you while his hands run over skin on your thighs. You bite on your hand just to muffle your moans from the still active party outside, just as his nose bumps your clit.

“Shit, Lip. I'm close- fuck..” You whine as he laps desperately at your sex, and you can feel his smirk. "Language. Let go for me, baby, please." He requests softly, rubbing tiny circles on your clit.

You don't last long after that.

He lets your climax drip down your thighs, grinning to himself as he watches, feeling some of it on his jaw. "Need to feel you, please, Lip." You beg, and he frees himself from his boxers. Giving himself a few strokes before he lines himself up with his enterance. "You ready, sweet angel?" He asks, pressing his forehead against yours and lightly trailing slobbery kisses down your cheek before connecting to your lips. You pull away only after a second, whispering a soft "yes, please" before you're kissing his jaw in anticipation.

He groans, inserting himself past your now damp folds, thrusting gently in and out. He watches as his dick is swallowed by your cunt, your walls fluttering around him like it’s a familiar friend coming back.

Truth be told, he wasn’t sure why he pushed you away. Maybe he let the negative thoughts that you were too good for him take over. Maybe it was just the Gallagher thing to do.

But he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

Your moan brings him back to reality, hands on his shoulders as he finds a new position to fuck deeper into you, and he finds himself groaning as your nails dig into his skin. You quickly learn by the way his dick twitches he enjoys that.

And he learns by the way your walls squeeze around him you like it when he hits that spot in you. The spot that makes your head feel blurry, the spot that replaces every thought with his name. The spot that makes moans come out of you, the spot that makes the familiar heat in your belly grow.

“Fuck, Lip, I’m gonna-” Your words are cut off when he hits that spot again, even with a new angle. His forehead pressed against yours, sweat connecting with sweat. “Shit angel, you were just made for me. Pretty pussy just missed me, huh?” His words slur from the pleasure clouding his senses.

Your moans and mixtures of his name are more of an answer for him. The room smelled like sex, sound of skin slapping against skin filled it. He pressed his lips against yours, swallowing your moans as he rubbed small circles on your aching clit, and he feels the familiar white heat pouring out of your cunt.

He doesn’t last long, burying his seed deep in you. Swallowing your whines and moans as he pulls out, only breaking the kiss to stare at you, both of your chests heaving as you catch your breath. Watch your eyes having a silent conversation with his.

He lays down beside you. He watches as you run a hand over your face, and he decides to wash you both up. Returning with a damp washcloth, he helps get you cleaned up and setting your clothes on the end of the bed.

“So, uhm..” He tries to think of a conversation starter, and you shake your head, holding a hand up. “We shouldn’t have done this.” You whisper, frowning as you grab your clothes, slowly redressing yourself.

“You don’t have to go. We can go back to your place or mine and we can just talk.” You don’t realize he’s begging rather than requesting. This can’t be how you and him say goodbye after seeing each other again for the first time.

"I can't do this, Lip." You point out as you fight to get your shoes on.

You’d only see him as a friend.. biggest lie you ever said.

"I love you." He says. "I was an idiot for not saying it before so I'm saying it now. I'm in love with you and I always will be."

Definetly a lie now.

˙ ✩°˖🌸 ⋆｡˚꩜

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! if you enjoyed reading this you can definetly check out my lip gallagher masterlist here -> click me!

- mae:)

#maeberzatto #mae writes! #mae writes: shameless #lip gallagher x fem reader #lip gallagher x you #lip gallagher thoughts #lip gallagher smut #lip gallagher x reader #lip gallagher imagine #lip gallagher fanfiction #lip gallagher #lip gallagher shameless #shameless fanfic

[theemporium]

Hm, for more Mat what about Mat and reader going skating together on those family days the hockey teams have?

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

“You can’t let go of me.”

“I won’t, baby.”

“Mat, I am serious.”

The boy had to bite back his smile as he looked up at you, pausing his actions with his fingers still tangled in the laces of the skates you had slipped on. He shook his head, failing to hide his amusement as he continued to work on your skates.

Despite dating a hockey player, skating was never a skill you acquired during your life. To be honest, before you met Mat, there was no reason for it to play such a huge problem in your life. But all it took was one slightly awkward and endearing meeting with the Canadian in a coffee shop in downtown Queens for your whole life to change. 

Now, skating and hockey were so intertwined in your life, you forgot your life without them. 

However, never once in your time with Mat had you bothered to learn to skate. There was never really a need to, beyond a few attempts Mat had had in trying to teach you. But usually those lessons ended with your ass and ego bruised, and Mat killing himself laughing at the whole situation. 

But this was different. This wasn’t just the two of you on a cute little date. This was the New York Islanders’ Family Skate Day. This was important. And you knew when Mat asked for you to come with him, you couldn’t say no—even if the last thing you wanted to do was embarrass him and yourself in front of all his teammates and their families.

“You can’t leave me out there,” you said to him, trying to ignore the anxiety and nerves bubbling in the pit of your stomach. “I mean it, otherwise I am moving to Chicago and moving in with Tito.”

Mat snorted as he finished up tying your laces before looking up at you. He placed his hands on your knees, giving them a small but reassuring squeeze. “You done?”

“Is it too late to fake food poisoning?” You retorted. 

He shook his head, laughing. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, baby. I promise. I’ll be holding your hand the whole time. And if I have to leave you for some reason, I’ll have one of the boys stay with you.”

You still looked doubtful but you nodded.

To his credit, Mat didn’t leave your side as you stepped onto the ice. He was patient as ever as he let you dig your nails into his arm, clinging onto him like a lifeline as you stepped across the ice.

“Gotta push and glide, babe,” Mat told you, though there was something oddly endearing in watching you shuffle along the ice with your baby steps.

“That sounds fast,” you grumbled.

Mat laughed. “C’mon, you trust me, right?”

You looked up at him, your face softening. “Of course.” 

“Then trust I won’t let you fall,” Mat said and softly squeezed your hand before he let go. Before you had any chance to panic, he settled behind you with his hands on your waist and his chest pressed against your back. “We’ll go slow, promise.”

“And if we do fall?” You asked, turning to look at him over your shoulder. If you were a little more, your face would’ve heated up at the sight of everyone watching you and Mat, at all the cameras pointed at the two of you.

His grin widened. “I’ll catch you, baby.”

“I was hoping you’d say you’d take the brunt of the fall and soften my fall.” 

He snorted. “That too.”

You couldn’t help but grin back. “Knew I kept you around for a good reason.”

.

#mat barzal #nhl #new york islanders #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal x you #mat barzal x y/n #mat barzal fic #mat barzal one shot #nhl x reader #nhl x you #nhl x y/n #nhl fic #nhl one shot

[spooky-pomegranate]

Use Your Words:

Captain Price x F Reader (18+) 🔥 Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: Price shows you the scars on his body and reassures you that everything will be alright.

It was hard to see where you were going through the hazy fog of tears, but Price gently guided you into another room and helped you sit on the edge of his bed. You didn’t understand why your emotions had taken over you so quickly. But now that they had bubbled to your surface it felt impossible to dismiss them.

Price’s hand left yours and through the blurry haze, you watched as he knelt down in front of you. Without a word, he gently removed his shirt and laid it on the ground.

“Price I don’t think I can…” Your eyes fell to the floor. As badly as you had wanted him just a moment ago, you couldn’t go there now. Not when your world felt like it was crumbling beneath you. Not when your head and heart were on such different terms.

“I know,” Price's voice soothed. “I know. Just look at me, sweetheart.”

You raised your head and stared at Price. His lips curved upward and he smiled. The edges of his eyes crinkled and his nose scrunched. A warmth spread through your belly. You loved how his face changed when he looked at you like this. Like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Like nothing else mattered but you. Like time was standing still. No one had ever looked at you this way.

The tender reverence in his soft blue eyes pulled you back to earth. You sniffled again and brushed the tears from your eyes feeling slightly more grounded.

“I’m sorry, Price. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Shhh. Shhh. It’s alright. It’s okay to fall apart. I’m here… I’m here to catch you,” Price let a moment of silence pass, allowing you to regain your breath before he spoke again. His tone was soft and gentle. “I know you're scared and I know things seem impossible. But they’re not. I promise you. I’ve faced much worse odds, love. And I’m still standing here aren’t I?”

“You… you have?” Your voice wavered.

Price reached for your hand and brought it to his chest. His skin felt hot underneath your trembling fingers.

“Look.” Price moved your hand just below his left shoulder. He rubbed your thumb over an angry silver and white circular scar the size of a quarter. “You feel this?”

You nodded as you focused on the feeling of your finger gliding over the healed mark. His skin was raised by still soft. Whatever had caused the mark had been violent and cruel.

“Last year a terrorist launched a missile from a rooftop in downtown Chicago. The missile was headed for Washington D.C.” Price paused shaking his head. “Thousands would have been killed. It would have been the worst terrorist attack ever seen on American soil.”

Your jaw fell slack and your eyes left Price’s chest and met his.

“I was shot right here with an automatic rifle.” Price chuckled, “Felt like getting run over by a truck. Knocked me back on my heels and pretty sure my Sergeant thought he’d lost me. But he didn’t and I’m still standing… aren’t I love?”

You looked back at Price’s chest and splayed your palm over the healed bullet wound. You could feel his heartbeat strong and steady. Sure you had noticed his scars before but you never imagined the hell he’d walk through to earn them.

You nodded at him.

“And we stopped the impossible. Rerouted the missile and kept the entire operation under wraps.”

The thought of Price facing death made you hyper-aware of your own heartbeat. It was beating against your ribcage like a rapid drumroll. Your hand felt warm and sticky against Price’s chest.

“Nothing’s impossible, love. Even when it feels like there’s no hope I promise you there is always hope.” Price's voice was low. You wondered if he ever told his men this or if this was a mantra he privately reminded himself of. You wondered how anyone was strong enough to do what he’d done alone.

You slid your hand further down Price’s chest to a long red scar that started near the healed bullet wound and traveled across his chest to his right side.

“And here?” You murmured, sliding forward on the mattress so you were perched on its edge, your fingers gliding back and forth over the long red mark.

“Mmmm…” Price hummed, leaning into your touch. “Knife attack. Russia. We ran out of ammunition and we were cornered. Had to fight our way out hand to hand.”

You two continued like this for hours… Price kneeling before you, you running your hands over every scar on his body, and him telling you stories about how he acquired them. And with each retelling, your heart ached as you realized these were only the scars you could see. It was hard not to imagine how many more he must have that were out of your reach.

But the ache in your heart was also met with a blistering pride. If Price was able to move forward, to fight another day, to keep pushing onward after everything he’d seen and done then surely you could do the same. Surely Price could draw out from you a similar strength he drew from the men he commanded.

You leaned forward and placed a kiss on the small silver scar by Price’s shoulder, your lips lingering on the raised and discolored skin.

“Your so strong.” You said slowly pulling away from his chest.

Price hummed a deep groan that melted straight through you.

“And you make me stronger, sweetheart,” he whispered.

“I… I do?”

“You do.” Your heart lept to your throat at his tender words. “Of course, you do, love. When I left you at the warehouse you stayed in the back of my mind for every single second. I fought to get back to you because I promised you I would. I just want to be with you and I would have done anything to get to you because… I love you.”

Price closed his eyes and shook his head. He sighed before resting the palm of his hand over your cheek.

You felt a surge of emotion fill your chest, and you couldn't help but lean into his touch. His rough thumb brushed back and forth over your cheekbone, and you closed your eyes, savoring the warmth of his palm against your skin. A sense of safety and comfort washed over you.

For so long, you had felt lost and alone, but with Price, you felt like you had found your place in the world. His love was a balm to your broken heart, and you knew that you would do anything to keep it. And now you were starting to realize, that maybe Price felt the same way. Maybe this was a love different from anything you’d both felt before.

You leaned forward again and kissed the red lengthy scar that traveled across Price’s broad and muscular chest. He groaned as your lips made contact with his skin. Price pulled you closer to him, his hands roaming over your back. As your lips moved along the length of his scar, Price's hands eventually found their way to your hair, and he tangled his fingers in your locks.

You could feel the heat emanating from his body, the scent of his cologne filling your senses, mixing with the tobacco and whiskey you’d consumed. It was intoxicating, and you found yourself lost in the moment, the world outside of the room ceasing to exist. It was as if the weight of the world lifted off your shoulders as Price’s love enveloped you.

Your hands slid to Price’s waist and pulled him upright so he was standing between your thighs. You leaned in again and kissed another scar that lingered beneath a dark patch of hair that trailed from his stomach to underneath his pants.

“Fucking hell…” Price growled as your lips grazed his happy trail.

His sultry groan was electrifying. You looked up at him with a mischievous smirk on your lips. His eyes were dark with desire, and you could feel his hardness growing and pressing against your thigh.

You pulled him down by his neck and kissed him deeply. Your tongue teasing his lips before delving into his mouth. His hands were all over you, roaming your body as if he couldn't get enough. You moaned into his mouth as one of his hands found its way to your breast, his thumb rubbing over your nipple through the fabric of your shirt. You pulled away from the kiss, gasping for breath.

"I need you, Price," you whispered, your voice husky with desire.

Price didn't need any more encouragement. He lifted you up and carried you to the center of his bed, laying you down and crawling on top of you. He kissed you again, his hands roaming over your body as he gently removed your shirt and bra. His lips moved down your neck, his teeth nipping at your skin.

“You don’t know the power you have over me, love,” he whispered into the shell of your ear, sending chills down your spine.

You unconsciously arched your back pushing yourself off the mattress and into Price’s firm and tense body. Your body was on fire, and you couldn’t get enough of the heat rising inside you.

Price's mouth trailed down over your breasts, his tongue swirling around your nipple before sucking it gently into his mouth. His teeth lightly nibbled at the sensitive skin, and your hands ran up the length of his arms, fingers digging into his muscle. The scruff of his face felt like sandpaper against your overly sensitive skin, but you revealed in the sensation. The mix of pain and pleasure only made you more wet in between your thighs.

Price’s mouth released from your nipple with a squelching pop and you whined. You arched your back, trying to get another sensation from his mouth as it trailed over your stomach and to your navel. His eyes found yours, and there was a wicked gleam in them. His lips curled into a devilish smirk as he moved his hands to the button of your pants. He quickly undid the button and slowly unzipped your pants, his eyes never leaving yours. You moistened your lips nervously, your eyes glued to his deft hands.

“Please,” you whimpered, your heart rate increasing.

With one strong pull Price yanked your bottoms down past your ankles. You propped yourself up on your elbows you painfully and deliciously slowly spread your legs apart for him. By the way, Price’s pupils darkened you were sure that he could see that your arousal had soaked through the cotton of your underwear. You had no doubt the white fabric was probably translucent from the way you felt drenched with desire.

Price’s lips connected with your underwear, his tongue darting out to taste you through the soaking wet fabric.

“Anything for you,” he growled against your center before giving it a kiss. You whimpered again. His teasing winding you up like a coil tightening into a taut spring.

Price hooked his fingers in the sides of your panties and you eagerly lifted your hips off the mattress so he could slide them down your legs. Price dove back in between your thighs like a man starved and you gasped as his tongue entered you.

He groaned at the taste of you, and you could feel the vibrations through your body. You moaned loudly as his tongue pushed deeper inside of you. Your fingers twisted in his short hair, and you pulled his face deeper against you. You couldn’t control yourself. You rutted against his face. His beard rubbing against your thighs.

The feeling of his tongue delving into you was too much, and your hips bucked again and again into his face. His hands moved from your thighs to your hips, and you could feel his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass in a forceful grip.

The pleasure was quickly building in you, and you could feel your orgasm rising like a tidal wave in the ocean.

"Oh, god, Price, please," you whimpered. His tongue hit a spot inside of you, and you were sure you were about to explode.

“Please what, love? Use your words.” He demanded, giving your ass a gentle squeeze.

“Please… don’t… stop,” you breathed barely able to form the words.

The wicked smile returned to his lips and Price dove back in between your legs. But this time he focused his mouth on your clit, licking and stroking the bundle of nerves in delicious and mesmerizing circles. You felt yourself teetering on the edge and just as you were about to fall Price slid two fingers deep inside you.

You came with a loud whine. Your body thrashed against the mattress as you tried to pry yourself apart from Price. But he held onto you tightly and continued his assault between your legs, licking and sucking and pounding up into you with his large and thick fingers.

You were sure you had lost your mind. The strength of your orgasm was too intense that you could feel your vision blurring. God, no one could make you lose control like this man.

But as your orgasm finally started to subside Price pulled his fingers from inside you and slide them up your body over your thighs, across your stomach, up to your breast. A trail of your own wetness lingered behind shining on your skin as he squeezed your breast and rolled your nipple in between his fingers. You couldn’t help but release a high-pitched whimper as he played with you.

Price eventually kissed his way back up your stomach and over your collarbone until he found your lips. You could taste yourself on his lips as his tongue pushed into your mouth. You traced your hands over his toned torso, feeling every ripple of his taut muscles.

Price’s hand found your wrist and gently, but firmly, moved your hand to the waist of his pants. You smirked into the kiss as you felt his hardness strain against the fabric of his trousers. His breath was ragged as you unbuttoned his pants and slowly slid them down his legs, taking his boxers with them.

Your fingers wrapped around his girth, your thumb flicking over the sensitive tip of his reddening cock. You curled your hand around Price’s shaft and gave it a firm squeeze. He moaned into your mouth as his hands ran up the length of your body. One hand cupping your breast, and the other buried in your hair.

You guided Price’s cock to your opening. And with a small snap of his hips, you felt the tip of Price’s cock slip inside of you, and you moaned.

Price let out a deep groan of his own as your body enveloped him. Your hips rose to meet his, and he buried his face in the crook of your neck. Ever so slowly Price began to rock his hips back and forth. Rutting into you at a delicious pace.

Price plunged deeper inside of you making your cunt clench around him in a vice grip. The feeling of being so full of him was driving you insane as he began to pick up his pace. His breath was hot against your ear, and you could feel the stubble on his chin scratching against your neck with each thrust.

“Oh, god,” you moaned into his ear.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned back.

You could feel yourself losing control again. The pleasure from before was building in your core and you couldn’t help but thrust your hips up to meet his steadily increasing pace.

“I’m gonna…” you panted, your head dropping onto his shoulder.

“Not yet, love,” he said as he pulled his face away from your neck.

“But I’m--”

“Not yet,” He growled, his eyes dark with lust.

His thrusts deepened, and you could feel him hitting your G-spot. Your body quivered, and your vision started to go spotty. The pleasure was about to take over, and you couldn’t control yourself.

But then Price stopped.

“Not yet,” he repeated.

He pulled his cock from you and you let out a disappointed whine. You opened your mouth to protest, but the words caught in your throat when you saw Price’s feral gaze. He grabbed your thighs and pulled you toward the edge of the bed. He climbed off the bed and stood quickly yanking your thighs up against his shoulders before slotting himself back in between your legs. He grabbed a pillow and slide it underneath your hips so your torso was raised off the bed.

Then Price pushed into you hard and it didn’t take long for you to see stars with the new angle in which he was fucking you. After a particularly vicious snap of his hips, your eyes rolled back as you moaned loudly.

“Fuckkkkkk,” you cried.

“That’s it, love,” he said as your eyes met his again.

He pushed into you again and again, his balls slapping against your ass and you could feel yourself tightening around his cock. He looked beautiful like this. Taking you so viciously. Standing over you like a powerful god looking down upon a mere mortal. You felt so spread open and vulnerable before him like this. And fuck was it the sexiest thing you had ever seen.

The feeling of him sliding in and out of your wet pussy was maddening. It was too much and not enough all at the same time. And you knew you were about to come again. You could feel your orgasm boiling just underneath your skin.

“Price I can’t… I can’t…” you whimpered desperately.

“It’s alright love. Let go,” he said sliding his hand up your thighs and to your ankles.

With another snap of his hips, he pulled you to him, impaling you on his cock. The pleasure was blinding and your orgasm rocked you to your core. You reached above your head and dug your nails into the sheets, clawing and scratching for anything to ground you as Price continued to fuck you senselessly.

You stared up at Price and he met your eyes.

“One more sweetheart. You can give me one more right?” He asked the deep timbre of his voice making you twitch.

Your voice was lodged in your throat. All you could do was whimper and nod your head. You would give Price anything he asked for at this moment. He was making you feel so good how could you deny him?

“Good girl,” he growled before leaning down, slipping out of you, and lifting you up into his arms.

Without warning you were in the air and Price was moving you across the room. You wrapped your legs around his waist and buried your head into his neck. You kissed and sucked just below his beard leaving small marks behind until suddenly your back made contact with the cool surface of a wall. The cold plaster sent a shiver down your spine.

“God you’re so beautiful,” Price whispered in your ear before pistoning back into your pussy.

You bit your lip hard to keep from screaming as he continued his assault on your cunt. You reached up and wrapped your arms around Price’s neck, your hands scratching at his back, trying to hold on as he pounded into you.

Each thrust of his hips was harder and faster than the last. You could feel the throbbing in your clit as you started to come undone once again. Price gripped your ass tightly. He was holding you as close to him as he could manage. You could feel his breath hot on your neck as he sank his teeth into the crook of your shoulder. The pain of his teeth sent a shockwave through your body. You felt lightheaded. The pain, the pleasure, the heat, the cold… it was all so much.

You dug your nails deeper into Price’s shoulders as you tried to stave off your approaching orgasm. You didn’t want this feeling to end. You wanted to stay here like this with him forever. But the feeling of his teeth on your skin and his cock pounding away inside of you was too much.

You had never felt anything like this before. You had never been fucked like this before. Your vision went white and your whole body bowed into Price as he grabbed your ass hard and pushed into you one last time. You screamed his name.

Your orgasm felt like it was going on forever, and your body shook. You clung to Price as hard as you could. Your fingernails left crescent-shaped marks behind on his back. Your cunt clamped down around Price as you writhed in ecstasy and he growled at the sensation of you tightening around him. His moans quickly drowned out your own cries and you felt Price twitch as he came deep inside you.

You wanted to collapse to the floor, but Price held you pressed against the wall as he pulled out of you. You could feel his cum drip down your legs as he carried you back to his bed. And yet the feeling of being cradled in his strong arms was the most comfortable thing in the world.

“Stay here, love I’ll be right back,” Price said before vanishing behind a door. You stared up at the ceiling as you tried to regain your breath. Your eyes felt heavy. Your limbs were entirely too exhausted to move even a singular muscle.

But the cool feeling of a wet cloth on your thighs made you snap your neck upright. Price smiled his sweet quokka-like smile as he wiped you clean. His touch was gentle and soft.

“You did such a good job, my sweet girl.” He murmured into your thigh before giving it another kiss. His beard scratched against your supple skin.

You hummed in response and Price laughed. He must have known you were entirely too fucked to answer him. He crawled up into the bed next to you and cradle you into his chest.

“Rest now, love. You earned it,” Price said pressing a soft kiss on your cheek.

“Will you stay with me?” You managed to ask craning your neck to look into his blue eyes.

“Of course, beautiful. I won’t go anywhere. I promise.”

It didn’t take long for you to drift off to sleep. Tucked into the safety of Price’s arms, you slept soundly for several hours. And this time, with your protector watching over you, the nightmares stayed at bay.

————————————————————————

This is an excerpt from my much larger work on AO3. If you would like to read the whole story thus far here is the link.

If you are just here for the *spicy bits* I have more fun excerpts here on Tumblr called "Violence and Timing" , "Falling Apart" , and "Testing His Will"

#call of duty #captain price #captain john price #john price #captain john price x reader #captain john price x you #captain price x reader #john price x reader #call of duty modern warfare ii #call of duty fic #call of duty modern warfare #captain price x you #call of duty mwii #captain price x female reader

[male-body-swap-lover]

That Suburban Dad Life

Nicholas Fletcher was young, but he was well on his way. A young ad exeuctive who lived in downtown Chicago. A stunning new condo at Wolf Point that looked directly down the south branch of the Chicago river. Not everyone was so lucky. And did he care? Not at all. Selfish. Unlikeable. Cutthroat. Just some words that described Nicholas Fletcher. At least he had the heart of Ms. Annabelle Davis. She came from a wealthy family and Nicholas saw it as a way to get ahead in his career. Today was the day he was going to propose to the “love” of his life. Unfortunately he was running late.

“God dammit. Stupid traffic. Why won’t these pedestrians move out of the way”, he said.

In his impatience, he accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake and hit an old woman walking in front of his car.

“Oh fuck” he said.

He got out of the car and walked to the old lady who had fallen. He tried to help her up but she swatted his hand away.

“I don’t need help. Could you not see I was walking” she screamed at him.

“Look lady, I am on my way to propose to my girlfriend. I don’t have time to wait for some old lady from the suburbs to cross the road. I’m sorry.

“Young man, you are impatient and unkind.”

“And you are kind of a dramatic bitch. Get up off the street so I can go.”

“All you young men are so rude. You call me suburban. I bet if you were suburban, you’d have some patience and manners.”

As she stood up, she whispered in his ear “I curse you. The next time you meet a woman from the suburbs, you are slowly going to turn into her ideal companion. It’ll teach you some manners and respect.”

Nicholas laughed as she slowly walked away. He got back into his car and sped away to Alinea.

He parked his car and was walking inside just as a young woman was walking out, crying. He tried to avoid her, but they accidentally bumped into each other.

“Oh I am so sorry. My boyfriend just dumped me. I came in all the way from Elgin and I thought he was going to propose, but he dumped me!” She started cring again.

Nicholas didn’t know how to respond, so he just muttered sorry and kept walking into the restaurant.

He greeted Annabelle and sat down. He had arranged to have the ring be presented as part of dessert. As they talked all through dinner, Nicholas felt off. He couldn’t get comfortable. Everything Annabelle kept talking about bored him. He just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him and decided he wasn’t going to propose. He called the waiter over while she was in the bathroom and got him the stop the proposal. After finishing dinner, he parted ways with her and went home.

As he sat in his living room, he felt this weird urge to drive out to Elgin. He couldn’t shake the feeling so he decided to do it, and went into his room to change. He grabbed his cubs jersey and jeans, but for some reason he tucked his jersey into his jeans. He had to admit it looked dorky, but didn’t untuck it.

He got into his car and drove out to the Elgin. He didn’t know where he was going so after driving around passing house after house, he went downtown and ended up at a bar. He sat down at the bar and ordered a beer, even though he normally got a martini. The game was on and he was enjoying it even though he rarely watched sports because he was always working.

After a while a young woman sat down next to him. They started talking and they had a really good time. He knew he should go home and call Annabelle, but he was having a good time. Hours passed and suddenly it was time for the bar to close. He paid for her drinks and they walked out. They ended up kissing goodnight and he got back into his car. Only when he got in, did he realize the woman was the woman he had run into hours earlier in the city. He couldn’t believe it. He drove back into the city and went to bed.

Weeks passed and Nicholas changed. Annabelle kept calling him but he dodged all of her calls. His performance at work went downhill. For some reasons, nothing was making sense. He stopped going to the gym and he started gaining weight. He even let his facial hair grow in more. Every time he looked in the mirror, he thought he was starting to look more like his father. Finally his boss came into his office and told Nicholas he had to take some time off of work. He needed rest. Nicholas realized he was right and went home.

A week passed and Nicholas didn’t leave his apartment at all. Finally he felt the urge to go out and went to put on some suitable clothes. However nothing fit. He had gained so much weight that he was no longer a 32 waist. He found some sweatpants and decided to go shopping to get some clothes that would fit. On instinct, he drove out to the suburbs and went shopping at Kohls. It seemed to go by in a whirlwind and he found himself back home with bags and bags of clothes. As he looked through the bags, he realized everything he bought was not fashionable. It was all dad attire. He pulled out a a polo shirt and some cargo shorts. He laid them on the bed and started laughing. This was not him at all. It was something he thought some dad out in the suburbs would wear.

Then something came over him. Some insane urge to put on the clothes. So he stipped down. First he put on a white undershirt. Then he slipped on the polo shirt and buttonened one button. Then he put on the cargo shirts and tucked in his polo shirt. He grabbed a brown belt and cinched it around his waist. Then he grabbed a pair of white socks that he bought and put them on and pulled them all the way up. Then he slipped on a pair of sneakers and grabbed a baseball hat. He stood in front of the mirror and laughed. With his weight gain, and with his beard grown out, and with these clothes on, he could have passed for some suburban dad. He started laughing and then his body seized up.

Suddenly, Nicholas felt everything in his brain shifting. Thoughts of ads and revenue were replaced with electrical knowledge and wiring. Late nights at the office were replaced with thoughts of relaxing in a recliner with a beer watching sports. Weekends spent at the club were replaced with thoughts of grilling for the neighbors and mowing his lawn. Finally thoughts of Annabelle were replaced with thoughts of the woman he met at the bar, Natalie Richards. Nicholas suddenly snapped out of it. He looked around his trendy highrise apartment and knew that it was all wrong. He didn’t belong here. He belonged in the suburbs. He grabbed his keys, got in his car, and drove back to Elgin. For some reason he knew exactly where Natalie Richards lived. He got out the car, took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell. She answered the door.

“Hi Natalie, it’s Nick Fletcher. You may remember we met at the bar a few weeks ago. While I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, and was just wondering if you would like to go on a date?”

“Oh Nick, that’s so unexpected. Yes, I would love to. Just give me a few minutes to get ready! And don’t you look cute!”

Nick stood outside and waited for Natalie. He struck up a conversation with some neighbors about the cubs performance. Time flew by and Nick and Natalie went on there date. Everything was perfect.

15 Years Later

Nick couldn’t believe how the years had flown by! The very next day after his first date with Natalie, he put his condo on the market and quit his ad job. He broke up with Annabelle and found a place out in Elgin. He also started his own electrician business with all the knowledge he had somehow gained out of nowhere. After six months of dating, Natalie and Nick got engaged, and six months later, they got married. Every part of Nick’s old life was gone. He no longer dressed in trendy clothes. He didn’t keep up with everything going on in the world. He wasn’t concerned about being at the top of his game. He just wanted a good stable homelife for himself, his wife, and his future family.

Nick and Natalie quickly got to business and had four wonderful kids, Michael, Jacob, Elizabeth, and little Nick Jr. They had to buy a bigger house in the suburbs and that was okay by them. There was now room for a pool out back and a ping pong table in the basement. Sure it was more expensive, but the business was doing well, and he could always save money other places. Anything to make his family happy was worth it. Yes he had gained more weight, and yes his hairline was receding, but he was happy. He had a good, steady middle class job, a good house in the suburbs, and a family who loved him. What could be better?!

#age progression #male body transformation #beer gut #beard #stereotypical dad #balding #suburbia #suburban dad #dad style

[copperbadge]

[ID: A wooden bar in front of a window, looking out on the sidewalk; sitting on the bar are a paper cup of tea, a plate with a large cookie on it, and a pair of (discolored, don't judge me, life is hard) earbuds. It looks like a lovely weekend morning snack.]

There's a new coffee shop in my neighborhood, and I've been meaning to check it out for a while since it looked like it had a lot of good places to sit and work, and while I love going to the library to work on weekends, the study rooms there are super booked full right now. I thought I'd see how I did sitting at the "window bar" and it turns out it's great! I'm not super enamored of the macaroon I got (it's fine, just nothing special) and not a coffee drinker so can't judge that, but the tea and the ambiance are both excellent.

But also like. In the first forty-five minutes of sitting at the bar in the window, I encountered a friend who lives in the neighborhood passing by, a friend who does NOT live in the neighborhood but was down here for the farmer's market and came in to get a coffee, and also a total stranger from Rome who saw me in my AS Roma jacket and came over to introduce himself because he was so stunned to see a Roma fan in Chicago.

Him: Excuse me? I'm from Rome, and I can't believe I see a Roma logo --

Me: AH! DAJE ROMA!

Him: *HUGE BEAM* OH YOU ARE A ROMANIST!

He had thought I might not know what I was wearing, and was so pleased to meet an actual fan. He ended up asking for a selfie with me because his friends didn't believe he'd found an AS Roma fan in midwestern America. :D So I've just blown the minds of a couple of Romanisti, and also got a nice compliment on both my taste in football teams and my pronunciation of Daje (dai-yay!) Roma.

I do love my neighborhood. Sometimes I think I should sell up and move out far enough to be able to afford a real house with a yard and get rid of all the stress that comes with living in a crowded downtown city center, but then I spend a morning out in the South Loop and remember why I put up with all that.

#chicago #south loop #food

[damiansgoodgirll]

Could you do more with platonic judgement day? Where reader has problems at a nightclub?

the judgment day x reader (platonic)

let’s pretend they won at wargames okay? :)))

‼️mention of harassment, non consensual touching and panic attack, read at your discretion

in the club

it was currently midnight when rhea decided you all needed to go out and celebrate the boys victory at wargames. she opted for a nice and calm bar, knowing how being in clubs made you uncomfortable but jd and dom were in the mood to celebrate so they took the lead and dragged you all in some kind of cheap club in downtown chicago.

the music was so loud that you could barely hear what damian was talking about. you were clearly uncomfortable and finn noticed that too but it has been an amazing night for you and the team and you didn’t want to ruin everything because of your paranoia.

so you offered the first round of drinks, to lighten up the mood a little.

dom and jd offered the second and the third round, and after three drinks you were a little tipsy that you started talking shit bit damian and the girls sat next to your table.

rhea saw that in the end you were a little calmer so she joined dom and damian on the dance floor, dancing to music that neither rhea or dam would have listened if they were sober enough. you laughed watching them, seeing how goofy they were.

you decided to go on the rooftop of the club for a little fresh air, telling finn that you would be back in a couple of minutes.

he knew you weren’t a fan of nightclubs too so he insisted to go with you but you saw how flirty he was being with the girls sat beside you and you didn’t want to ruin his night for your little problem.

so you ended up on the rooftop all alone - well, not exactly alone, as it was full of people but you were enjoying the fresh air and the lights of downtown chicago. you were minding your own business when suddenly a man came behind you, touching your shoulders.

“nice, isn’t it?” he asked, referring to the view. he was probably in his fifty so you had no idea why he was flirting with a teenage girl.

“sure…” you whispered, moving his hand away from your shoulders.

“don’t be like that…” he moved you closer to his body “we just started having fun” he whispered into your ear. his breath smelled like a mix of cigarettes and cheap beer and it was making you nauseous.

you were a wrestler so why couldn’t you move?

you faced bigger people than he was but something was making you paralysed. it was the idea of not knowing what was coming next, the fact that you had no idea what this man wanted from you and the fact that your body was betraying you. your mind screamed “move, don’t touch me or i’ll make you regret it” but your body couldn’t move.

tears started forming in your eyes.

where was rhea when you needed her? where was damian or finn, or dominik too, hell, even jd, you needed someone you could trust but no one was near you to help you out of that situation.

“i should go and find my friends…” you said trying to move out of his arms. too many people were filling the rooftops and you knew they were too high or too drunk to help you out.

“i could show you a real nice place if you come with me” he whispered in your ear making you nauseous once again.

“no, just let me go…”

“don’t be a bitch and show me some respect” he squeezed your shoulders a little harder while his other hand went to cup your ass “the things i would do to you…” he said before squeezing your ass.

you didn’t care if you were crying now, you just wanted to disappear.

thankfully, damian decided to go check up on you when finn told him you were alone on the rooftop. he thought he would see you sitting on a bench or talking with some people, he didn’t expect to see you trying to get free from a stranger’s hands.

“let me go please…” you whispered to him, hoping that he would let you go but his hands moved from your ass to your breast.

“why don’t you come home with me? i could rip this dress off and do whatever i want and if you told it, nobody would believe you…” he threatened making you shake.

you were about to scream, not caring if you gave a scene to the crowd, when suddenly you felt the man being dragged away from you.

you heard a familiar voice in background but you were too focused on your breathing that you didn’t even know what was happening.

your head was spinning and your hands were shaking.

suddenly you felt a pair of hands circling your waist, you were about to scream when damian spoke softly into your ear.

“it’s me hermosa…it’s me, it’s all over, you’re okay” he whispered and when you heard his voice you immediately relaxed into his touch, hugging him back “let’s get you out of here…” he said and you nodded.

he took you downstairs, he helped you sitting back at the table and he gave you a glass of water to drink. rhea was talking to dominik when she saw your state.

“what the fuck happened?” she whispered asking to dominik, who had no clue of what was going on too.

they both approached your table and rhea’s heart broke when she saw you shaking, covered in damian’s leather jacket, your make up all ruined and your eyes still teary.

“gorgeous what happened?” she gently asked you.

“a fucking old man touched her” damian came behind rhea, sitting next to you and holding you in his arms.

rhea was fuming over priest words.

“are you okay?” dominik asked you and you slowly turned your head into a no. you weren’t okay, you were far from okay. you just been harassed by some crazy man and you didn’t even want to think about what could go wrong if damian wasn’t there.

“she’s a little shocked…” damian whispered when he saw finn and jd approaching you too. damian explained what happened to the rest of the team and finn was beyond pissed.

“you’re okay…” rhea whispered hugging you, letting you cry into her arms.

“i should have fought back…” you started blaming yourself but finn stopped you.

“it wasn’t your fault…it wasn’t your fault, listen to me, it was never your fault” finn told you.

“but…”

“no buts hermosa, finn is right” damian said sitting next to you and holding your hands “i’m so glad nothing worse happened…”

“thank you for being there damian…” you thanked him “can we please go back to the motel?”

“absolutely…but you’re staying in my room tonight, i don’t want you to be alone gorgeous” rhea said and you nodded.

you were grateful to have found a team were you felt safe and protected.

#wwe #wwe x reader #wwe imagine #wwe x you #wwe imagines #wwe one shot #wwe oneshot #wwe x oc #wwe x original character #wwe x y/n #wwe oc #wwe story #the judgment day one shot #the judgement day wwe #the judgement day x reader #wwe the judgement day #the judgment day fluff #wwe the judgment day #the judgment day wwe #rhea ripley #rhea ripley x reader #wwe rhea ripley #rhea ripley imagines #damian priest #damian priest x y/n #damian priest x reader #damian priest x oc #damian priest oneshot #finn balor x reader #finn balor

[rthko]

Hey, a gay friend group of mine has invited me to go on a trip to Steamworks in Chicago. I'm very excited to go, but it's my first time going to a place like this, and also Chicago itself. Any I should know going into this experience? Any other things I should do while in Chicago?

You were the first person I thought of when they invited me, haha

This post ended up LONG so there will be a Read More cut

First, I'm glad to hear you're going to Chicago! It's a beautiful city with something for everyone. Though I've been to Chicago and I've been to bathhouses, I have not been to Steamworks specifically. Which is ironic, especially when it's the golden standard. So my bathhouse advice will be more general, and my general Chicago advice will be more specific. I'll structure this as a series of questions I used to have about bathhouses that you might also have.

How do bathhouses work?

At the front desk, you enter by paying for a membership (for an out of town visitor this will probably be a one time membership) and either a room or a locker. As far as payment is concerned, guests cannot share a room or a locker. From there you'll get a towel and some keys and head to the locker room to undress. Never lose sight of your keys! Keep the band wrapped around your arm. Fun fact: the placement of one's keys at a bathhouse was the original flagging. Left arm for top, right arm for bottom. Not that people necessarily follow that today but I thought it's fun. Any bathhouse will have private rooms, common areas, amenities, and a darkroom for more spontaneous group sex. Amenities could include a sauna, a steam room, a pool (Steamworks does not have one), a hot tub (Steamworks has an excellent one), a gym, tables and chairs, even board games books and magazines. As long as you're respectful there is no wrong thing to look for. Some people aren't even really there for sex and enjoy the nudist aspect, or they are there for sex but only as voyeurs.

What should one bring to a bathhouse?

Flip flops! That's the number one thing I end up forgetting. Also lube, poppers if that's your thing, and a cock ring if that's your thing. Condoms (and I'm not here to moralize) are usually provided for free but bringing them wouldn't hurt. There will also be a store to get any of these things as well as snacks and drinks (not alcohol).

Are bathhouses intimidating?

At first. I am lucky enough to live in a city with two bathhouses, so if I want to visit all I have to do is go downtown. If you're traveling from out of town, the stakes must feel a lot higher, and you might feel more pressure to make your visit "worth it." Don't sweat it (unless you're in the sauna, then by all means sweat). A provate room is a great place to retreat to or bring someone for one on one time (I say one on one because the beds are typically just twins. Not great for groups). These days, I actually find my bathhouse visits lower stakes than hookups with strangers. Hosting logistics are a mess, and inviting someone to my home or vice versa feels too personal.

How does consent work? Are people respectful?

By entering a bathhouse, you consent to being seen nude or semi nude, seeing other people nude, and seeing sex acts. When it comes to touch, you always have a say. A lot of it is gestural--you can get closer or pull away--but you can always verbalize your intentions and limits. I cannot guarantee that no one will be creepy; I've had my own experiences with that. But I will say that if things aren't going right in a "conventional" hookup there's no polite way just to leave (even if it's a perfectly valid option), but at a public venue I can say "excuse me" and just dip out. Take a walk around. Sit in the sauna. If you're afraid to upset someone with a rejection, you don't ever need to be, but here's a perspective that might help: in Times Square Red, Times Square Blue, Samuel R. Delaney writes in one scene about taking his curious friend to a porn theater. His friend is surprised by how peacefully people take rejections, and he explains that when there are enough yesses, the nos don't matter. Abundant options and possibilities lower the stakes.

What are the body standards like?

Bathhouses, like a lot of gay spaces, have in some cases been known for harsh body standards. This is less true today, when a good amount of the clientele are older. I live in a mid-sized city without the "prestige" of Steamworks, but I will say I see a lot of body types and racial diversity, and it's been very gratifying to me to simply exist in the nude with other people. I think we as a culture, especially in the United States, are too detached from our own bodies, and it's nice to find recreational outlets that ground us to them.

Are STIs a concern?

They can be. But you can make decisions about what works for you, including condoms, PrEP, DoxyPEP, or sticking to behaviors with low transmission risks. If condoms are your preferred method, I will say not everyone will feel the same way but they need to respect your boundaries.

And now, Chicago. I will try to keep this brief:

Art:

I will of course recommend the Art Institute, but it demands a full day and I don't know your schedule. For artsy things that don't take as long, I recommend going to the Museum of Contemporary Art and the Chicago Cultural Center. The latter is free, right next to Grant Park (including the Bean, yes), has two stunning stained glass domes, and temporary exhibits for the Chicago Architecture Biennial.

Shopping:

-Michigan Ave or State St are kind of a waste of time but worth it if you want to feel that "shopping in a big American city while jazz is playing" fantasy.

-Unabridged Books and the Women and Children First feminist bookstore.

-Transit Tees. If you want Chicago a souvenir go here.

[These next three are in Boystown near Steamworks]

-The Men's Room, a gay sex/kink shop. If poppers are your thing, get Video Head Cleaner, a beloved local Chicago brand.

-Beatnix, a shop for costumes, party looks and drag looks

-Out of the Closet, a resale store that might appeal to a queer sensibility.

Bars (all in Boystown except Jackhammer)

-Sidetrack, a HUGE and popular bar

-Roscoes, a bar with a lot of clout among famous drag performers

-Berlin, a charming bar with more alternative drag

-DS Tequila, a great place for Margs that does have food including breakfast food

-Cell Block, a leather bar at the north end of Boystown that's not for the faint of heart but has a special place in my heart.

-Jackhammer, a bar similar to Cell Block aside from its recent renovations. It's kind of a trek away, so I recommend making a trip out of it and seeing 64Ten leather next door and the Chicago Leather Archives and Museum nearby.

Oh, and I can't not recommend Chicago style pizza if it's your first time. Sorry haters. Lou Malnati's is my favorite.

This is probably WAY more than you bargained for! I have been meaning to write at length about bathhouses on here and your ask sort of kick-started this. Have a great time in Chicago!

[lovers-tucked-into-a-quiet-cafe]

Chapter 5 [IKYLHT]

~2.4k Words | Series Masterlist | Prev | Next Chapter

-

“Officials are saying a power surge is to blame for an explosion over downtown Chicago last night due to severe winds leaving thousands of residents in the dark…”

“-I still don’t think that was the best they could’ve come up with.”

“Shh, Johnny, I’m trying to hear them.” You mumble with a light slap to the man’s thigh, nodding over to Price and Laswell as they clink glasses.

Simon chuckles from the other side of you as you peer around Soap’s form in an attempt to convince Gaz to relay the conversation word for word. He doesn’t, and part of you regrets not swapping seats with the man beforehand.

Not that you would’ve been able to, what with Simon and Johnny essentially herding you into the bar stool between them. 

Sheepdogs, I swear. 

“Y’know, I think you owe me, Bun.”

Johnny’s voice has a playful edge to it, something you so desperately need after the torture endured in that building. 

Bloody hands trying to find grip on the cables- anything that’d soften your fall down the elevator shaft and allow you to follow him into that half constructed floor full of soldiers and Hassan. 

Bloody hands that found themselves back on their original place, wrapping gauze around Price’s shoulder and pestering Gaz for updates every other minute.

He didn’t have any. You’d opted to try yourself. 

“Soap, please.” 

You can’t help the desperation in your tone. 

He hasn’t answered comms in four minutes. 

Something is wrong. 

“What is your status? Click the transmitter. Something. Anything. Please, Johnny.”

You hear nothing but the soft Chicago wind in return, shaking hand reaching for comms once more.

“Ghost, do you have a visual?”

It takes him a moment to answer, and you can just barely hear his boots ascending the stairwell in steps of two.

“Negative. Adjusting position now.”

You hate it. 

Hate that your view of Ghost is completely blocked from this floor, hate that Johnny isn’t responding to comms, hate that he’s in there alone.

Had this scene not already played out? Had Johnny not already been forced to fend for himself with shivs and rat traps in the streets of Las Almas? 

Why couldn’t they get someone in there with him? Where are the Marines? Where is Gaz? Where is Johnny?

I should’ve been there.

I was there. It still didn’t matter. 

I still couldn’t save him. 

“Fuck this.” You mumble, shuffling back onto your feet, eyes already scanning for the emergency staircase. 

I’ll scale the building myself.

Your gun is gone, lost somewhere to the explosion and subsequent shootout. You slide your hand over a spare knife resting on your hip. It’s not much, but it’ll have to do.

“Price, I’m movi-”

“Ghost…” Soap’s voice carries through your earpiece and renders your legs damn near immovable. 

You don’t notice the way your knife slices open the top layer of skin on your palm, instinctually bolting up and towards the stairs as you hear Ghost reply.

Going down two, three, four at a time- shoulder slamming into the wall as you turn each corner and stumble down the staircase- you’re still unable to see any of what’s happening- eyes unblinking and ears straining to hear Johnny’s next words.

“Watch the window-“

“-Bun, c’mon. I remember hearin’ you make a bet with Simon.”

Blinking, you find yourself back in the bar.

Right. That’s right. It’s over. 

It’s all over.

Nodding, more to yourself than to him, you scan the bar and blink the image of it back into the front of your brain. 

You don’t miss the way Simon watches the entire thing. 

You let a semi-genuine smile grace your lips and nudge him back. 

“Which you were not a part of, Sargeant. Direct orders from the captain, in case you forgot. Plus, Si didn’t even agree to put any money on it. No point in betting if there isn’t a cash incentive.”

Glancing around him again, you’re just able to meet Gaz’s eyes as he finally divulges you by mouthing a single word before he’s turning back to Price.

Russians.

“I just think-”

“-Johnny.”

Your tone is what gets him to look up, to pop the bubble he’d created just for you, Simon, and himself. To raise his guard and compartmentalize like he always does. 

You can’t blame the man for wanting normalcy for just a little longer. The chance to sit in a dimly lit pub with his partners, nursing a drink and laughing at how awful the men across the bar are at playing pool.

He doesn’t want another assignment. Not now. Not after all they’d been through. He needed a break, desperately, and he needed to get his mind off of work before it consumed him completely. 

But you can’t. You just can’t slip into that headspace right now. You can’t let your guard down. 

Maybe it was the mission, maybe it was the close-calls, but this inability to just think straight is one you’d only experienced once before. 

You can’t remember when they start- the flashbacks, the shifting from present reality to memory. You only remember the looks of your comrades as they steer you back to the current moment.

Price’s voice cuts into the space, deep and low.

“He’s not new.”

He slides the picture over to Gaz, Soap bracing a hand over your leg as it bounces repeatedly.

You’re nervous.

You can’t tell why. 

You force yourself to stop, to allow Gaz to study the photo without interruption. You hear him shift, pass the photo over to Soap who holds it up for the two of you.

He nods once, reaching past you to hand it to Ghost.

Shaking your head, you whisper to both men beside you.

“I don’t recognize him.”

Their eyes meet past your shoulder, an unspoken conversation.

“Guys?” You whisper again, eyes darting between the pair. 

Still no answer, you look between Price and Kate, the latter looking just as confused as you did.

“Who is he?”

You feel Johnny’s grip on your thigh tighten, hear Simon’s deep inhale as Price turns to answer Kate.

“Makarov.”

-

“Well, this is me. You can just… knock, I guess. If you need anything, I mean.”

The door clicks behind Simon as you shift to stand awkwardly in the corner of your small accommodation. 

His eyes shift over your room, the tiny storage shelf topped with boxes and folders of paperwork you’d need to drop off before the night’s end.

It’s hardly decorated past the beige curtains and yellow lighting that adorned each private room in the barracks. 

You distantly wonder if Simon’s room is any nicer. Probably not, since it’s just a temporary until the flight home.

Better than a motel. 

He nods once, lets out a little hum of acknowledgment before locking eyes with yours.

“You okay, Tapeti?”

“Me? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Just need a nap, I think. Maybe some real sleep once the paperwork is done.”

He hums again. 

“Okay. Not what I meant though, love.”

You give a sheepish semi-shrug, a half answer he lets slide with a small sigh. 

“Alright then. Gonna go check on Johnny. You comin’?”

You want to, to go and kick your feet up on Johnny’s lap while he doom-scrolls through social media, but your eyes fall back on the box of papers.

“Oh, uh. No, that’s alright. I’ll swing by later. Really gotta desk-jockey it tonight. Text me if he needs anything?”

“Of course, darling.” He says softly, kissing the top of your head through the mask before sparing you one last glance and slipping out the door.

You sigh out, shuffling over to the storage shelf and grabbing the box before plopping onto the chair with a huff. 

Casualty Report 

Contact Report

Frequency Interference Report

Nuclear, Biological, and Chemical Report

Report

Report

Report

Digging your palms into your eyes, you groan out.

It's been hours, according to both the clock and the ache in your lower back.

“They offered me retirement, why the hell didn’t I take retirement?” Exhaling a deep breath, you whisper to yourself as you neatly pile the paperwork. “I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Sliding it off the desk and into the crook of your arm, you make your way through the foreign base, dropping off the paperwork to some higher-up's secretary with a content smile.

Not my problem anymore.

A little more pep in your step, you start making your way back to the barracks, giving Johnny’s door a light knock.

There’s no answer.

You knock again.

Still no answer.

With a small roll of the eyes, you dig for the spare key he slipped into your pocket with a wink, unlocking the door.

You crack it open, knock again and whisper as it quietly creaks.

“I swear Johnny, you’re such a liar- ‘oh I never fall asleep first’. I could practically hear you snoring through the- oh.”

His silhouette is dim but unmistakable. His snores are soft, as they usually are. 

So are Simon’s. 

You turn your head, scan the empty hall once more before really taking in the sight before you.

They’re cute. Snuggled up, cozy under the blanket Johnny will soon kick off, Simon’s head resting over his heart.

It’d be a lot sweeter of a moment if, well… if there was any space for you.

They really are cute together and you know it shouldn’t bother you, but, that was your spot. 

It’d always been that way.

Johnny on his back, you on his left side. 

Closing the door with a soft click, you lock the deadbolt as quiet as you can before making the trek back to your room.

It’s dark, curtains blocking any pale moonlight and the room is still just as fucking beige as before only now it’s a problem. 

The bed is too cold. Too big, too empty, too overwhelming without his body splayed over half of it. 

You don’t bother changing into anything comfier, kicking your boots towards the door and burrowing under the covers.

You look to the pillow on your right.

You shut your eyes.

It’ll be better in the morning.

-

Your descent down the stairwell is rushed, boots clipping the safety grips multiple times and hands flailing to grab the railing beside you.

You find a rifle on the way down, still slightly sticky with the blood of the masked soldier it belonged to. 

You could never be too sure.

It clatters against your tac vest uncomfortably, hitting the back of your legs and threatening to launch you down the stairs completely.

You don’t bare it much mind though, hopping off the last few steps and throwing yourself against the heavy metal door with a grunt.

Side stepping and nearly knocking over the surrounding Chicago police, you weave your way through EMT’s and rescued hostages before your path is abruptly cut short by a dark mass with outstretched arms.

“Slow down, Tapeti, he’s making his way out.”

You allow yourself to remain in the man’s arms but don’t halt your hurried steps.

“Then we can meet him in the stairwell, Simon.” You huff out, only partially regretting the way your words tinge with aggression.

He unhooks the back of the strap, grabbing the rifle with one hand and letting it clatter against the sidewalk, not once breaking stride or faltering in pace. 

You get one hand on the doorknob of the side entrance, readying yourself to slam bone against metal once more.  

You don’t get the chance to though, head on a swivel when you hear a nearby glass door shatter in on itself.

And finally, you see Johnny, tired face holding back a pained smile as he holds the door handle in midair.

“Rabbit-“

“-Johnny.”

You waste no time rushing to him, the impact of your body colliding with his almost knocking you both to the ground. 

You feel his shadow guarding the pair of you from onlookers, offering about ten seconds of privacy before Simon is damn near scruffing the back of your neck as he pulls the pair of you into his chest. 

“Jesus Christ, Johnny. Don’t ever do that again.” You mumble into Simon’s shirt, pawing at Johnny’s tac vest and trying to find a patch of skin that isn’t covered by work.

It’s a difficult task, what with Ghost barely allowing you ample space to expand your ribs as you breathe, but you manage to slip off a glove and warm Johnny’s hands yourself.

You feel him shift to lay his head on Simon’s shoulder, wrapping an arm around the man’s waist as he speaks quietly.

“You okay, Bun?”

“Are you okay, Johnny? We couldn’t get ahold of you, not a single thing through comms, not even static.”

He doesn’t respond.

“Johnny?”

You move to pat his hand but it isn’t there.

“John?”

You look up but he’s gone entirely.

You spin around, cover your arms over your thin shirt no longer protected by two sets of arms.

“Ghost?”

You spin again but you’re entirely alone on the street.

The cops’ red and blue lights still flash, doors wide open.

The back ambulance doors reveal the inside, the space that held the empty gurney that now sits mere feet away from you.

“Simon?”

The wind howls but doesn’t shake the trees.

“Gaz?”

Your ears ring above the silence.

“Price?”

You feel the hairs on your arms stand.

“Santiago?”

You hear a knock.

“Bunny? You in there, hen?”

Shifting your arms, you feel the stickiness of the sheets beneath you.

He knocks again.

Scrambling out of bed, you kick your shoes out of the way of the door and open it hastily.

“Good mornin’, sunshine. We were knockin’ quite a while. Must’ve been pretty knocked out.”

Your shoulders loosen seeing his smile, no longer feeling the urge to curl in on yourself.

“Oh, uh, yeah I guess so. Had kind of a weird dream.”

You feel Simon’s eyes on you, send him a smile as Johnny brushes past you and into the room.

“Anything in particular?”

You turn back to Simon, motion for him to make his way out of the doorway and into the room as you answer his question.

“Not really, mostly just replaying yesterday. Just cataloging, you know the drill.”

Well, except for the part where everyone vanished and left me stranded in the middle of Chicago searching for Santiago.

Guess I was calling out for two ghosts.

“Eh, as long as it wasn’t the weird armadillo one again. God knows what that one’s about. Anyways, you showering before brek, Bun? You stink.” Johnny smooths the duvet over the damp sheets, laying down with a groan and stretching his side.

“Yeah, I’ll make it a quick one. You waiting here?”

You don’t miss the way it comes out, the tinge of vulnerability towards the end of your words.

Neither does Simon.

Johnny lets out a hum, arms above his head and moving to stretch out his other side.

Simon steps forward, untucks the string of your hoodie.

“Shower, Tapeti.”

He sits on the edge of the bed.

“We’ll be here.”

-

<3

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[punkshort]

Chapter One

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader, pre-outbreak and post outbreak

AU (the only thing I kept was the outbreak, Joel, and Tommy's characters. Joel's backstory is different, and the way he finds Jackson is different. I may include Ellie one day, I just haven't planned that far)

Fic Summary: You worked for Joel and Tommy a few months before the outbreak. The outbreak happens, and you and Joel get stuck traveling the country and keeping each other safe. Neither of you spoke about the feelings you had for one another pre-outbreak, and in a post-apocalyptic world, it seems like survival should be your only focus. But feelings can't be ignored forever.

Fic tags: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Smut, Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader is 10 years younger than Joel), slow burn, mutual pining, angst, trauma, SA referencing later but I will put a big warning on those chapters

April 2003

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, as the subway lurched forward, catching you off guard.

Today was the first day of your new job at a big-time construction company in downtown Manhattan. You had just moved to NYC a couple months ago, and this job was the first place that made you a reasonable offer. You were beginning to work through the last of your savings and getting sick of bumming it on your old college dormmate’s couch, so you eagerly accepted the position. The last thing you wanted to do was ask your parents for money – they were already so worried about you living in New York and working in Manhattan.

You thought back to when you called your mom and dad to tell them you finally got a job offer, so excited to tell them you could get your very own place if it all worked out.

“But Baby, don’t you think it’s a little dangerous working down there after what happened?” your mom had begged on the phone.

"Mom, please don’t worry, this building is nowhere near as big, this one only has 10 floors, I promise I will be ok,” you pleaded, hoping she won’t guilt trip you into moving back to the suburbs of Chicago.

You had always been a quiet, shy, studious type. Your parents always joked you would live with them til you were 40, never one to party or do anything bad. Needless to say, when you announced after graduation you wanted to move to New York, your whole family was stunned. You were pretty sure they expected you to chicken out, or move back home after a month, but you had a dream and you were determined.

Suddenly, the tinny voice over the subway speaker broke into your reverie, announcing your stop. You filed out of the packed car with loads of others who look like they were all going to similar corporate jobs. You tugged anxiously on the sleeve of your blazer as you made your way up the stairs and out onto the street. The crisp spring air that hit your face was a welcome change to the stuffy, overpacked subway car you had just left.

Lucky for you, Miller & Miller Contracting, Inc. was a mere 3 blocks from the subway. Your heels clicked loudly in your ears as you approached the building with ten minutes to spare. Relief began to wash over you a bit when you realized you planned the commute perfectly. You hated being late.

You pushed the door open into the lobby, approaching a large desk with two receptionists. Both were talking animatedly on their headsets and transferring calls. Patiently waiting for one of them to be available, you casually glanced around the lobby to avoid looking as nervous as you felt. The lobby itself was beautiful: it was completely open all the way to the top floor, with the glass elevator shaft behind the reception desk. The front of the building also was all glass, so that it afforded a beautiful view as the elevator took you up to your destination.

“Can I help you?” one of the receptionists called out. She had curly, short blonde hair, thin, and was impeccably dressed.

"Yes! I’m sorry, yes, it’s my first day in accounting. I am supposed to be meeting Heather, my name is –“ the receptionist cut you off, guessing your name before you could even finish your sentence. You confirmed who you were, and she got up to come around the desk.

"I’m taking the newbie upstairs to accounting, I’ll be right back, need anything?” she called back over her shoulder to her long haired, brunette cohort.

The slightly older receptionist shook her head in acknowledgment, still listening to whoever was on the other end of the phone call.

The receptionist who greeted you smiled and stuck out her hand.

"I’m Maggie, it’s nice to meet you. Come around to the elevator, I’ll take you up to Heather.”

She led you around the back of her desk to the elevator bank, her curly hair bobbed as her heels clicked on the dark tile floor. She began rattling off questions and information, no doubt a side effect of her job, and possibly caffeine, as you waited next to her for the elevator to arrive.

"How old are you? Are you from New York? Do you know anyone who works here? I’m always so excited when someone new joins, sorry if I’m making you nervous!  It’s a fun place to work, it really is, there’s a lot of great people here. I know your position can be a tough one, so please give it a chance, I swear it’s worth it.” She paused for a minute, realizing she might be scaring you off, as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

“Uhhh,” you stammered, trying to absorb the last bit of information without looking concerned, and stepped into the empty car. Maggie stabbed the button for the 6th floor as you replied.

"I’m 25, it’s my first ‘real’ job out of college, I just mainly had internships before now, and they hardly paid much. I’m glad I can finally stop couch surfing. I am from a small town outside Chicago, I went to school there and I’ve always wanted to live in New York. My old college roommate already lived here, so I decided to give it a shot,” you paused for a moment as Maggie nodded along eagerly with your story. You frowned slightly.

"I’m sorry, what did you mean when you said-" Right then, the elevator doors pinged to floor 6, opening up to an empty hallway.

“OK we’re here! Follow me!” Maggie cut you off, and whisked you down the hallway, which took you to an open floorplan filled with cubes upon cubes of bustling employees. Some were chatting between their desks, others were hurriedly talking on the phone, and some mindlessly scrolling on their computers.

Maggie led you to the back wall, which consisted mostly of offices, and what looked to be conference rooms in one end. She turned left as you rushed to keep up while trying to absorb your surroundings. You nearly smacked into her when she came to an abrupt stop in front of a partially open office door. She knocked gently, smiling at the person inside.

“Good morning, Heather! I have your new hire here,” she gestured towards you and waved you over. There sat Heather, your new boss, who you had only met when you interviewed with her and HR. Her mid length dirty blonde hair was perfectly in place, bangs framing her face, just like the day you met. She was probably about 15 years older than you, but she looked like she could pass for around your age. She was very trim, wearing a form fitting black dress with strappy sandals, and her makeup looked impeccable. If it wasn’t for the old fashioned hair style, she could pass for around 30.

You stepped into Heather’s office, which you hadn’t seen when you interviewed with her a couple weeks back. It was small, but it had a decent view, which was to Heather’s back as she stood from her desk to greet you warmly by your name and thank you for being so punctual. She glanced behind you at Maggie and thanked her for showing you up, effectively dismissing her. You turned back to wave your thanks to Maggie, but she was already gone, heels echoing down the hallway back towards the elevator.

“Alright! Follow me, I will take you to the rest of the department and introduce you to everyone,” she motioned for you to follow her out of her office. Being the Controller, she had her own personal space away from the rest of the group, which you found was not too far away from her office. Heather led you back the way you came but kept going straight along the wall of offices, talking to you over her shoulder as she walked.

"I hope you made it in OK, I’m so glad the sun is out this morning! I was getting sick of all that rain, this weekend was such a drag with all the dreary weather.” You hummed your agreement and assured her you made it in just fine, not letting it be known you were overanalyzing your commute all weekend long.

Heather stopped at the corner of the floor, punched a personalized code into a keypad next to a door and opened it. You had initially thought it could be a conference room, but in fact it turned out to be a decently sized room filled with cubes, some filing cabinets, and a small safe. You glanced around at the room of about ten employees hard at work, heads mostly down or on the phone. Two girls around your age who were seated next to each other in the corner of the room quickly quieted down their chatter, and looked in your direction when you walked in. You gave a shy smile towards them as Heather addressed the department.

“Good morning gang, this is our new Accounts Receivables Specialist,” she turned towards you, announcing your name to the group. “Please make her feel welcome, if you don’t mind showing her around where the bathrooms and coffee are, I would appreciate it. I have a meeting this morning with the big guy I need to get ready for, I’m sorry I couldn’t do it myself.” She turned back to you apologetically.

"We have a great, tightknit team here, they'll show you the ropes. This is your desk,” she led you over near the corner of the room where the two girls had been chatting. “I already stocked it with some paper and pens, but we do have a supply closet on this floor if you need anything else, and Colleen is going to be your trainer.”

She motioned over to one of the two chatty girls, who bounced over with a smile and an outstretched hand. You shook it, reintroducing yourself warmly as Heather made her exit.

"Again, sorry guys, I have a meeting with Joel, and you know how he is.” She rolled her eyes, and she was met with some chuckles and a couple looks of sympathy. Heather gave you a final wave and a promise to return around lunchtime to check in, and left through the same door you came in, with it locking shut behind her.

Colleen must have been around your age, her blonde hair was pulled back into a loose bun at the nape of her neck, and she had curious, bright blue eyes. She was wearing a business casual, knee length, light pink dress that was perfect for the beautiful spring day. You felt a bit out of place in your navy blazer and matching navy dress pants, but you wanted to look your most professional on your first day.

Colleen began to explain you will be shadowing her for the morning, getting you used to the software system they used, how to look up accounts, and where important files are stored. You learned Colleen was working in Accounts Payables, opposite your job. You realized the two of you will be working closely together, and connected the dots on why Heather chose her to train you, vaguely wondering who had your position prior.

As you pulled your rolling chair up to her desk to observe, notepad and pen in hand, you coolly questioned who Joel was, and what the reaction was all about. Colleen seemed the type that liked to gossip more than work, and she excitedly settled in to explain all the office politics to you.

“OK, so, Joel and Tommy run the company, they are brothers – Miller & Miller, get it?” she began, smiling brightly at you. “Tommy is SO much nicer than Joel, he is the one who schmoozes all of the new clients and signs all the new business. Joel is, well…” she trailed off, hands flailing gently, searching for an appropriate word to describe the head of the company without scaring off a new hire. “He can be challenging to work with sometimes, but don’t worry, you won’t have to work with him one-on-one. We have monthly meetings with him as a department, it’s a lot easier to handle him as a group, most of the time.”

“How do you mean, ‘challenging’?” you pressed, leaning forward, hoping to learn more about what you were getting into, not that you had much of a choice if you wanted to continue to live in the city. “Do you mean he just asks a lot of questions, or…?” Colleen picked up where you left off.

He’s mean,” she stated bluntly, smile faltering slightly. “He has made employees cry before, and he has caused people to quit on the spot during his meetings. He’s tough, but he’s the guy who goes to the job sites and makes sure everything is running smoothly. Unfortunately, that type of personality, especially from a man, on those construction sites is exactly what they need to make sure nobody is slacking off and cutting corners. They are too scared of him to screw up!” she laughed, trying to ease any nervousness she caused you.

You leaned back in your chair, gaze drifting aimlessly around her desk as you absorb what she told you. Before you could add anything further, the other girl Colleen had been chatting with earlier piped up from the adjoining cube.

“He’s an asshole. If he ever does say anything hurtful towards you, you have to just let it roll off your shoulders. That’s why Heather is so good in her position, she has to be one-on-one with him a lot, and she can handle his shit much better than most,” the redhead, whose name you saw on the outside of her cube was Debbie, gruffly interrupted. You could tell she was the opposite of Colleen – while Colleen is bubbly and sweet, Debbie seemed tougher and had an edge, although she still seemed just as friendly as she continued to help paint the picture of the mysterious Joel Miller.

“At the end of the day, you have to keep in mind we are not out here saving lives. We are working in accounting at a construction company. He gets so heated and spouts off at the mouth like this company is saving the world," Debbie finished explaining with a huff. She rolled her green eyes, crossed her arms over her chest and glared off at a fixed point on the wall beside her.

“Debbie is right, but she is just extra emotional about it because the girl in your position before had a run in with Joel, and she quit. Cheryl was Debbie’s best friend here, so she is just a little sore over it still.” Colleen tried to explain gently, without upsetting Debbie more.

Debbie nodded in agreement, sighing, she leaned forward with her elbows resting on her knees, she dragged her eyes away from the wall to look at the two of you.

"She’s right. Cheryl didn’t deserve that from him, but she did what was best for her when she quit. It happens a lot, I just thought Cheryl was used to it. She had been here 8 years!” Debbie exclaimed, throwing up her hands with frustration. 

You gulped and began to get nervous, not really sure what to say. All you could hope was that maybe you didn’t have to have one-on-one time with Joel. You just knew you needed to keep this job, or else you were packing your bags and moving back home. Your hands started fidgeting on your lap, and you chewed your bottom lip slightly as you took in the information.

“Well, thanks for the warning, girls, I will do my best to keep my head down and stay below the radar,” you chuckled quietly, hoping to ease some of the tension and change the topic.

Debbie smiled at you, a little sadly.

"That's a good plan, but since you are in receivables, Joel may put you on the spot in some of our meetings and want to know what the payment status is on specific clients of his. Heather will typically field those questions if she knows the information beforehand, but if he catches you off guard like he did with Cheryl…” she drifted off, allowing you to connect the dots on your own. “Just keep your guard up, and go into those meetings with TONS of notes on all his clients, that is the best advice I can give you. And let Heather do all the talking.” With that, Debbie scooted her chair back to her computer to get back to work.

Your eyes probably gave away your nervousness when you turned back to Colleen. She smiled warmly at you and patted you gently on the knee. “Don’t worry about it, I promise it's not as bad as it seems. Like Debbie said, Heather fields most of Joel’s questions directly. Plus, we just had our monthly meeting with him last week. You won’t have to cross paths with him for another month.” Colleen turned back to her computer and started explaining the accounting software to you.

You were really only half listening as your panic was bubbling just below the surface, replaying Debbie’s words in your head while you tried to focus on what Colleen was teaching you. You were beginning to understand why this place offered you the job so quickly, you just hoped you could be tough enough to get through those monthly meetings.

Chapter Two

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[jacevelaryonswife]

ㅤCatch me if you can, working on my tan, Salvatore.

The summer's wild and I've been waiting for you, all this time, I adore you, can't you see you’re meant for me?

∴pairing: Sugar Daddy!Daemon Targaryen x fem!reader

∴warnings and notes: age gap, reader is 20+ but her age isn’t mencioned, smut. Inspired by Salvatore from Lana Del Rey.

The first time you saw him was at an exhibition at the Targaryen foundation, which depicted life in Old Valyria. He was magnetic, intense and almost too attractive. Truly inaccessible, you thought, however, life wanted to positively surprise you with the opposite of that. You weren't used to going to sophisticated places, although you were a girl with expensive and demanding tastes, so when your friend invited you to the event your heart almost jumped out of your mouth. It was so exciting to be among such a select few of New York's elite, you could almost relax for a moment. Almost.

Underneath the subtle makeup and cheap clothes — perfectly chosen for the occasion —you were scared. Not out of fear of discovering your humble nature, after all that never embarrassed you, but fear of rejection, of the superb and elitist look in your direction, fear of humiliation by unhappy and mean people. At the start of the exhibition your figure stood alongside your friend and her friend, Aegon Targaryen, a fully representative specimen of the rich fuckboy stereotype — at least he was funny. However, as the evening progressed and people became more relaxed, you assumed you could move around and mingle with less tension around people. You've talked to some of the Targaryen/Velaryon youths closer to your age. Two of them, Jacaerys and Daeron were genuinely adorable and even a little flirtatious, which made you slyly recoil upon realizing their interest.

In this way, finding yourself in a corridor away from the small crowd, you began to contemplate some paintings placed on the wall that didn’t belong to the exhibition. One of them caught your attention and captured you for a long time, it was a night city in a cyberpunk aesthetic in the shape of the upper part of a male silhouette. You've never seen anything like that.

"Do you like it?" A male voice asked very close to you, on your side actually.

And then he appeared. Tall, thin, short hair, with a discreet smile.

“Uh, I'm not a big art connoisseur, but I appreciate a beautiful painting,” you said.

“And what do you think of this one?”

You returned to contemplate the painting again, before replying: “I like the futuristic aesthetic. It's aggressive, rowdy and intimidating, it reminds me of works like Altered Carbon, it's chaotic and dark and I can't stop admiring it. I don't really know if it's futuristic at all, but it resembles me. I think it was my favorite so far.”

He didn't hide his satisfied expression upon hearing your opinion, looking away from his handsome face to the screen in question.

“The reference was a troubled phase of my youth, I spent nights awake in galleries in downtown New York, Chicago and Paris. It was more underground than it is today and I certainly have some scars, but nothing that time can put us back on track.”

His eyes sparkled in self-realization. That was not only the author of the painting, but he was also a Targaryen. How did you not notice before? The short gray hair and violet eyes were distinctive enough to give away a Valyrian for miles. Maybe it was some mechanism in your brain to avoid associating him with a descendant of the dragon and making you nervous again, but it didn't matter now, not when he was already beside you in that beige linen shirt with the long sleeves and collar and sophisticated posture.

“Daemon Targaryen,” he said, holding out his hand.

You introduced yourself with a shy smile, greeting him back. “Are these all yours? They are very good."

He didn't need to look at the other pictures in the hall to nod. “Only a few, most are in my gallery.”

“Oh,” was all you said. “How long have you been painting?”

“I like to say I was born with brushes for fingers,” he chuckled with a hint of smugness. “And as for you, what were you born to do?”

"I don't know. I never really knew. I like my field, although I haven't graduated yet, but I never had a big dream or talent for arts in general.”

The look he gave you was understanding, almost affectionate, nodding. You stayed the rest of the night together, and even though you hadn't lived a third of what he had told you, the oldest Targaryen didn't make light of your experiences and aspirations for the future, quite the contrary, he asked a lot about your tastes, your dreams, your preferences and desires. Even if you were apprehensive about being around the most charming man you'd ever seen, Daemon was good enough to break through your preoccupation and wrap you up in a spiral of seduction veiled in sophisticated words and good conversation. By the gods, how you longed for that night not to end and you had to return to your simple and unglamorous life, to your heavy routine of studies and tiredness with uninteresting boys unlike the handsome man at your side.

“You have a beautiful face, you know, I would love to have you in one of my paintings,” he said as he rested his glass of white wine on the shelf beside him, “and I can already imagine how.”

"How?" You smiled in ecstasy, especially when he moved a piece of your hair to your ear and caressed your face. Your heart froze a beat and your mouth parted, a part of the smile still visible. It seemed too unreal to be true, but you would never object to what was about to happen.

“I'd love to show you,” he said before cupping your face and pressing his lips to yours in a kiss that made you float. You grabbed the back of his neck to pull him closer and rose on tiptoe to reach him properly, only to find yourself deliciously pressed against the wall as he stole the breath from your lungs in the sexiest, most demanding way possible. It wasn't an exaggeration to say that your reality seemed fully magnified as he pulled back and stared into your face, still so close you could only get intoxicated on his expensive woody cologne. “Come to my apartment, I need you babygirl.”

Oh dear, an indecent sound nearly escaped your mouth at the nickname, your breathing turning into wheezes immediately. You've never been in a relationship with an older man, not for lack of interest, but there weren't any such attractive options close until tonight. It felt like a sensual dream, especially when he traced circular patterns on her neck with his thumb.

“Yes."

Daemon glared fiercely before pulling you gently around the waist and out of the room, opening the door for you to say goodbye to your friend and Aegon, hating the knowingly slutty look he directed at your figure. Your heart pounded with each traffic light the luxurious red convertible crossed, impressed by the ruby, blue and green lights that illuminated that part of town and even more by the large hand that was on your bare thigh. How you wished it would rise a little higher...

Luckily his dazzlingly modern apartment wasn't far away, with beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out over the sea of buildings and skyscrapers of the world's greatest metropolis. It was breathtaking. You couldn't help but walk to the center of the room, gently tapping the glass as a smile left your lips. "It's so beautiful."

“No more than you, I promise,” he whispered into your hair, next to your ear, sending shivers through the body. He curled one hand in front of your body, caging you between the glass as he brushed your hair away from your neck to sensually kiss your erogenous spot, making your eyes close and your hands rest on the glass. His vague hand ran over your waist and breasts, squeezing your flesh deliciously. “Have you been with a man before, babygirl? A real man, not these fuckers who don't know how to satisfy a girl properly.”

“No, I never have been,” you replied breathlessly, looking at him through the reflection.

“I will make sure you never forget this night.”

Daemon turned you around to kiss you, demanding to taste, lick, suck, and bite each of your mouths. He'd like to taste your sweet pussy right there, fucking your beautiful body against the glass, but he wanted more, so much more, he wanted to lay you on the bed while the blue light outside illuminated your body just like the painting he'd imagined. And so he did. He stripped you of your clothes before laying you on the white sheets, drinking in the masterful image before you. He leaned down to kiss and suck on your neck as he slid his hand down the length of your body to the wet spot between your legs, spreading your wetness with his fingers before massaging your clit incisively with the palm of his hand, making a long, breathy moan out of your throat as you held him from behind, desperate for more friction. He removed his hand from your legs to grab your breasts and bring them to his mouth, but was quick to repeatedly grind his clothed manhood against your needy, wet pussy. He smeared saliva on your breasts and continued to tread south, kissing and stroking your stomach with his big hands.

“Fuck,” he growled at the sight of your shimmering femininity, so eager for his attention. “So fucking pretty,” he said before kissing the inside of your right thigh, holding your hips in place to dip like a bee on your flower, eating you like no other has. You moaned loudly and squeezed your eyes shut, holding onto his hair as your legs unconsciously tightened around his head. He never wavered, devouring your pearl like a starving man only to feel your body relax beneath him, your orgasm coming so hot and wet it had you moaning pathetically as he licked for another moment. A proud smile appeared on his features, which was met by a shy and satisfied smile before your hands struggled to remove the last physical obstacle that separated them.

“Ready for me, love?”

You nodded during the long look at his beautiful member. How he would love to thrust into you with no hindrance, but that would be asking too much for a first night, he knew that. So when he returned to the bed with the condom on and settled himself between your legs, his hand on your knees, there was nothing to look forward to but losing himself in your wet heat, so deliciously hot and tight. He let out a guttural growl as you let out a sly moan, sagging in glee as your pussy was filled in a steady rhythm.

“Daemon,” you cried breathlessly, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. He became deeper and faster in his movements. “Oh! Don’t stop!" Your whisper had him moaning in your ear and biting down on your bottom lip, fucking your sensual body hungrily.

“Fuckin' hells,” he growled as you squeezed him and milked him wet all over his cock, kissing the sensitive spot on your neck. He didn't last long after that, allowing himself to fully enjoy your heat to come hard over your body, rolling over to discard the condom and lying next to you, pulling you into his chest.

“That was amazing,” you said, smiling wide and tired, feeling your warm intimacy relax completely.

He just smiled and nodded silently, draping an arm over your shoulder. You didn't bother too much to stay awake, however, Daemon's low voice caught your attention.

“You said you never had great aspirations, but you also told me of dreams to be fulfilled, desires, everything you would like to have, see and live. Let me do it, babygirl, let me help you.”

Your eyes widened, looking up to meet his calm features. "Are you serious?" We don't even know each other well, this is a big step for both of us,” you said.

“We have enough time for that, I just need to know if you want it.”

This is definitely the best night of your life. Of course I do, holy shit I want it so bad. “Yes! I want it! I want it so much!” You kissed him sleepily, smiling against his lips. And that's how the dynamic between you began.

tag: my bestie @valeskafics cause she planted the idea of sugar daddy daemon in my head with this work here, check out her work! She's the queen of hotd content.

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