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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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8x06: Southern Comfort

Then:

Garth

Now:

Kearney, Missouri

A husband --possibly in the dog house?- gets run over by his very angry wife, and the audience gets to see the defacement of set dressing I have no desire to see in the first place.

Our boys are STILL fighting about Sam’s year of psychosis and Dean’s year of pining and romantic (and sexual?) frustration. Dean tells Sam he’s ready to talk about Benny whenever. Sam’s so pissed about Benny, but, like, grr, I firmly hold to the fact that Ameila was a figment of Sam’s psychosis because she’s not even close in comparison to their respective distractions to the job. Benny meant more somehow. Sam “Let’s Give the Monsters a Chance” Winchester just wants Dean to kill Benny ---and I haven’t read enough meta to understand why. Dean’s answer, and the only one that matters: “He’s my friend, Sam.”

I get that this entire scene sets up the episode, but I’m still grrr about it.

Anyway, the boys head off to their case, and find Garth!

He’s posing as a Texas Ranger.

Garth is working cases, and he’s the new Bobby. Dean, bby, it’s okay. They go and interview the son of the victim/assailant. He tells them that his parents had a good marriage, and they were high school sweethearts. It makes no sense. His mom is at the hospital -and remembers nothing of the event.

Assessing the crime scene, Garth finds ectoplasm. It’s green --not black. And Garth tastes it. Dean is not amused. Garth also gets a call from the coroner. The dead guy had the word ‘Alcott’ carved into his chest.

They interview the wife. She doesn’t remember much --just a LOT of anger. Garth asks about ‘Alcott’ and she talks about her husband going to a dance with Sara Alcott in high school. Sara Alcott’s still alive --so this is a weird ghost possession.

They head for food. Once at the bar, Garth asks Dean where he was the past year (Sam being locked away in a cabin hallucinating and recovering from his satan delusions.) He tells Garth that his was in the non-Miami Purgatory. “Man, that’s balls.” Oh, GARTH.

Dean asks about the confederate bullshit on the walls, and Garth fills them in on the fact that Missouri was a border state. He then reveals the genesis of his current job. He went to college and dental school. His first job was ganking the tooth fairy.

Scott, the victim’s son, is about to head into a general store when he gets a call from his wife. He sees someone that he’s clearly trying to avoid, and then takes a hit from his asthma inhaler. Grabbing some money, and getting some black goo to ooze out of his ear, he heads inside.

He’s pouring himself a hot cup of coffee when the dude he clearly didn’t want to see before confronts him. Scott throws the cup of coffee in his face and proceeds to take a shovel to the dude. LIKE WOW.

But watching a security mirror reveals that he’s really an angry confederate soldier. Of course.

Later at the scene, Sam, Dean, and Garth learn that Scott didn’t remember anything, felt a whole lot of anger, and the word ‘Sussex’ is scrawled in blood on the cooler door. Also, Garth is wearing Bobby’s hat.

Oof.

Dean is not amused.

Sam heads off to interview Sara Alcott Brown. She tells him of her youth. Nothing out of the ordinary, but it’s clear the wife never forgot what happened. Sam flashes to a post-coiltal Sam and Amelia. Amelia confesses she once had a husband. He died in Afghanistan.

She ran away from her life, and met Sam.

The team realizes that the dead and the killers all had long held resentments with each other. Garth uncovers some lore from Bobby’s journal: they’re looking for a spectre or an “avenging ghost” that forces you to act on long-held resentments. They discover a nearby grave desecration - it’s the Confederate tomb of the unknown soldier. That night they break into the tomb to burn the bones. Dean delivers a fitting eulogy: “We won.”

At the jail, the shovel-bashing son from earlier begs for his inhaler. When a deputy fishes it out of evidence, he suddenly goes vengeful and shoots his boss.

At the station, they speculate that the burn job didn’t take because there’s a haunted object being passed from person to person. Sam interviews another officer, who reveals that a deputy with murder in his eyes is on his way to the hospital. Dean pursues.

Sam and Garth follow up on another lead, and Garth encourages Sam to talk about his feelings. LOL, good luck, buddy! Sam has….ANOTHER FLASHBACK. This time, Amelia tells Sam that she vomited out too many feelings the night before, and she’s gotta go. Sam puppy dog eyes her, but she leaves anyway. (Boris maintains that Amelia was a hallucination, but Natasha now believes that Amelia is the blurry wife in the cursed finale. This...somehow makes the finale worse, for her.)

Sam and Garth talk to a hot librarian about the history of the unknown soldier. Dean, meanwhile, confronts the ghost-mad deputy who’s confronting a nurse or doctor....over a past bad call as a recreational league UMPIRE. smh

Garth and Sam learn that the rumored resident of the unknown soldier’s tomb is one of two estranged brothers. One brother fought for the confederacy and the other for the union. (LOOKS DIRECTLY INTO THE CAMERA.) Sam notices a penny necklace in the portrait of the soldier.

For Hot Librarian Science:

At the hospital, the ghost sniffs Dean and finds him delicious….ly full of anger and betrayal. He jams the penny into Dean’s hand. Sam calls Dean and lets him know about the penny. Too little, too late. Dean’s waiting for them at the motel room and immediately points a gun at Sam. “You shoulda looked for me when I was in Purgatory.”

Flashback to three days ago which is...a bit jarring. Careless teens play with the items in the soldier’s tomb. One of them pockets the coin, which they use to pay for snacks at a store. Later, the woman from the cold open gets the coin back in change. We get the full chain of custody of the coin - I suppose to show us that it’s super duper hard to shake off that darn ghost. I recall 15x19 and grind my teeth.

Cut back to Dean, who is still ready for MURDER. Dean rattles off a list of grievances from the prior seasons.

Sam tries to wrest the gun from Dean’s hands and gets knocked across the room for his trouble. Garth intervenes, using himself as a shield, and tries to de-escalate the situation. Sam fails to READ THE ROOM and brings up Benny again. Smh

When Dean lunges for Sam, Garth knocks him one right in the kisser and when Dean reels back the coin drops. Dean’s abruptly himself again.

Garth reaches for the coin to Sam and Dean’s concern. But as we all know, Garth is a PURE SOUL and is therefore immune to vengeful spectres.

After Garth destroys the coin, he sternly tells Dean to “stop being an idjit” and get along with Sam! They hug, and Dean gives Garth Bobby’s hat back. HEARTS

Alas, the episode doesn’t end on a high note. Sam has one more flashback to his time with - DEEP SIGH - Amelia. Sam comes crawling back to Amelia and finally reveals his sob story about losing his brother. She lets him into her room and they reconcile.

Flash forward in time again. Sam tells Dean Amelia’s full name as though he’s actually dropping her life story. He continues to harangue Dean about keeping Benny a secret. He threatens to kill Benny the next time he sees him and on that positive note, the episode ends.

Natasha’s takeaway: There are WAY too many confederate flags in this episode with WAY too little judgment about them

I’ll QUOTE Benny the Next Time I See Him!

“Like Purgatory purgatory?” “No. The one in Miami.”

You ganked the tooth fairy?

You can’t change the past, amigo

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #garth fitzgerald iv #spn 8x06 #southern comfort #supernatural season 8

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masterthespianduchovny · 3 years

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No please share your theory if only you want to though. Well I mean David did kinda almost slip up when he said years age Nate's the single guy lol & him unintentionally always bringing her up and Gillian is getting flustered and shit and whatnot all the time when he's brought up. In your OWN opinion do you think that DD is also captivated/charmed with GA's charisma and her being her in general?

Wait, what does “Nate’s the single guy” refer to again?

Full disclosure: the only thing I claim to be true is that David and Gillian are friends, which I’ve stated before last Sunday.

This is all speculation on my end and I don’t claim it’s the truth by any means.

Personally, the only way I can make sense of David and Gillian’s is if they were/are having a torrid affair.

Antis will claim this is a fantasy of mine, but I don’t fantasize about people having affairs. However, I am realistic that these things happen.

As I mentioned in another post, how is Gillian still flustered about a question she literally answers several times a year for almost 30 years? Why can’t she give a straight answer? Why does she lie and sometimes contradict herself?

Because she was and currently is involved with David in an on again/off again affair. Depending on her answer, they’re either involved at that moment and/or she’s upset at him.

Where as David can answer the question, but he slips up in other ways.

And it explains why they’d lie about it.

Let’s get something clear: they’ve always admitted that they’ve had a complicated relationship, which they are open about, but they’ve never said they’ve hated each other.

Part of the reason is that they both have dominant personalities, the other reason is that they couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to each other for whatever reason. Then when they got married to their respective spouses and had kids, but still fucked around, they couldn’t expose their indiscretions.

They’re both trying to protect their kids, David more so than Gillian. David’s father cheating, and then leaving his mom for his mistress, deeply shaped David and his brother. People may think this is ironjc and hypocritical, but sometimes kids mimic their parents behavior. Even the toxic shit. As a result, he doesn’t want his kids finding out what he did because he knows what it could do to them. It’s also to spare their former spouses embarrassment (to be honest, I’m not sure David and Gillian would ever receive public blowback for it, esp now. People already think they’re fucking, so what difference would it make). Acknowledging that they ever hooked up leads to questions about when, and then people doing the math.

Gillian’s marriage was from ‘94-‘97 and David’s from ‘97-‘14. Okay, so maybe Gillian was single for a few months and David was single during his separations from tea. I’m not sure there’s a lot of overlap where they were both technically single at the same time. David dated Perry and the woman who dated det white. There has almost always been a relationship going on.

So if they’ve been fucking on and off for almost 30 years, it wasn’t always when both were single. One or both of them were definitely in relationships.

Something we know happened: Gillian admitted that they were talking (as in trying to see if it could lead somewhere) when David lost interest because she wasn’t from New York.

So there is evidence straight out of Gillian’s mouth that when they first met they kinda hit it off in that way before David walked away.

During the dark ages, you know the time they famously ‘hated’ each other, David elopes and doesn’t tell Gillian. Months later, her and David are doing an interview for print or video where they interview each other. Gillian brings up tea and is like, “you must’ve really liked tea to marry her so quick” and “why didn’t you tell me that you were getting married?” This isn’t verbatim, but the gist of it. David says, “you’re still mad about that?”

Let’s take a moment to note how weird that is. They hate each other, right? Why would Gillian fucking care that David didn’t tell her he was getting married and that it happened so quick? It doesn’t matter, but she was hurt by that. She really was. It wasn’t friend hurt, it was jealousy and betrayal.

David hates Gillian, but makes snarky remarks about her boyfriend Roland aka “six pack” (or is it eight pack). “Well, he hates her right, so it makes sense he’d make cracks about her boyfriend?” Well, years later, it’s an inside joke between them.

Their failed relationships are inside jokes to them. Does anyone else find it unusual how often they joke about their failed marriages and relationships? How is this something apart of their narrative or necessary when talking about how long they’ve known each other?

The only way their behavior and responses makes sense to me is if their relationship is messy as hell.

Why would you lie about how close you are to someone unless you had something to hide?

When you comb through their history and read/see what they were doing and what they said, it doesn’t match this narrative that they hated each other. They were at a difficult point in their relationship, personally and professionally, and that bled over into work and interviews. But they’ve always maintained that it wasn’t hate, it was just complicated.

I think in “ghost in the machine” Gillian pretends to blow David. They insisted on doing the “cut” FTF loss and I write cut in parenthesis because, although it was cut, it shouldn’t have existed. They made out twice for fun. Why? Why would you make out for fun with someone you hate? And didn’t this occur during the dark ages? In the unnatural, after tea leaves the set, David starts humping Gillian and she giggles. Yes, two people who hate each other right there.

Their relationship was so tense and complicated because they were stubborn, proud, and strong willed. Those type of people are bound to clash. Throw in their work environment and their relationships, it was a pressure cooker. An explosion waiting to happen.

When people say they hated each other, the question is why and how did they get over that?

There’s never an answer for it. Or when they do claim something, it’s disproven.

And that’s because they didn’t.

If they hated each other, they wouldn’t have done IWTB, various cons together, or even seasons 10 and 11.

Could I be 100% wrong about this, ABSOLUTELY.

Look, it’s no skin off my back if I’m wrong.

I just can never shake the sensation of how Gillian looks like she’s about to be caught or is scared when she’s on a late night show and someone says “picture” and “David” in the same sentence. She looks shaken.

What was up with their kimmel interview?

Why we they basically flirting while talking about hooking up with women?

I expect anon hate accusing me of saying “you said that they had a horrid affair doe 30 years.” 🙄 “but Gillian was so in love with Peter and David loves young pussy.” But my whole point is, I don’t know what to make of their relationship and this is the only thing that makes sense to me. Both of those things could be true in these hypothetical anon hates, it still doesn’t change what I said.

Hell, even Téa while freshly married to David described his relationship with Gillian as sibling like and like a married couple. What does that even mean?

People who talk about “Téa had to force David to invite Gillian to his housewarming party.” Was that because he hated Gillian or because they used to fuck/were fucking. Inviting your former/current lover to your new home with your new wife. A bit awkward and disrespectful, wouldn’t you say?

Keep in mind, months before (or a year before), he was her date to the Emmys, as a friend, to support her because her divorce was being announced that day. How do you go from that to hating each other and not wanting this person to come to your housewarming party?

What was the catalyst?

Why did the fall out?

Didn’t their tension start around the time he married Téa? 🌚

I don’t know if it’s in the same year or within the same 12 months of his marriage, but she’s mad at David at one award show and kissing him on the cheek at another. Dark ages, right?

Remember when Gillian gave a spot on, unfavorable assessment of David and he responded to it all hurt and moody? 😂

And, how could I forget, let’s think of the other suspect behaviors.

1. David: we only email like five times a year.

Gillian: that’s what you like to tell people.

2. Gillian’s gum falls out of her mouth, David puts it in his mouth.

3. Gillian spitting food in his hand and David not being grossed out by it.

3. David pulling on the hem of Gillian’s shirt to pull her closer so he can sign it. Neither thinks twice about it, despite the level of intimacy being unusual.

4. David biting on her shirt.

5. David going quiet and making shit awkward after joking about her saying she kept saying she’d point at random men and say, “I’m going to marry that man.” Same occasion two minutes before, Gillian asking how David knew who mitch’s wife was (it was her stunt double). It felt accusatory.

6. The chili’s story where she has to explain she means Mulder and Scully had sex at Chili’s and not them.

7. Then holding hands under the table at comic con in 2013.

And there’s a lot of stories either I forgot or don’t know, I’m still finding out new things.

I know this theory destroys their perspective of DDGA and it ruins them for some fans, but it’s just a theory. Like I said, I’m not saying it’s the truth. I’m saying it would explain a shit ton about the ebbs and flows of their relationship and why they’re so inconsistent and reactive to being asked about each other for just about three decades. Why aren’t they bored of the question by now and answer it without this big to do?

I don’t know if David stans believe he is/was a cheater, but Gillian stans swear he is until you mention he could’ve cheated with Gillian. All of the sudden, he’s faithful and committed. 😒

I can admit that I might be wrong because I don’t know them. Only they know what goes on in their relationship. But if you had friends acting like they do, you’d think they were fucking or wanted to even when they insist otherwise.

To tour last question: OF COURSE David is captivated by Gillian. Gillian is attractive, funny, and flirty. They seem to have similar senses of humors at times as well. She’s silly too. I can totally see David being taken in by her because we see that now.

He’s more of the straight man to her zaniness, but he finds her zaniness endearing.

EDIT: please feel free to add any normal colleague behavior between David and Gillian over the years. 👀

#anon mail #evergreen gillovny #prepares for hate anon #how many will I get #it’s fitting it should be on the one week anniversary of THE PICTURE #Just sub ‘they were having an affair’ at certain difficult points into their relationship and it all makes sense #😂

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yeonchi · 3 years

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The absolute state of jobseeking in current year

Today, I take a big step in my transition into society as I begin my first (actual) job. It gives me no pleasure to say that this wasn’t an easy journey in the least because everyone else makes it look that way and therefore, I assumed that it was.

I never had a job (working fast food/retail/whatever) in high school, except for a week indexing documents, filing documents and assembling boxes at a bank for work experience, so imagine my shock when I go to a jobseeking site and everything I find requires at least a year of experience, even the jobs labelled as “entry level”.

During my uni years, I was on welfare benefits that required me to be 18-24 and studying full time. In the second semester of my third year of uni (2019), I decided to defer my last subject to the next year because there was something I wanted to take up that I couldn’t in that semester. Of course, this would mean that I would be studying part-time, so I was no longer eligible for that particular welfare benefit.

Since I thought that it was time for me to focus on looking for work, I signed up for that particular welfare benefit. One of the mutual obligations was that I had to send 20 job applications per month and record them on a web portal. I was also assigned an employment provider to attend appointments every couple of weeks to talk about my progress.

When I first met my provider, I was taken aback by what he said; I thought that sending 20 job applications was a cinch, but he told me that I had to focus on finding full-time work and that I could take up uni studies outside of work hours (my course didn’t count as an exception to their rules). This was quite a shock for me because this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. He also told me that I had to apply for any job I was suitable for and not just what I wanted; bit much to ask for me but ok.

So, for the next few months, I fulfilled their requirements to the best of my ability; I applied for jobs through a jobseeking site and attached a resume with either a short cover letter that I learnt how to write online or none at all if I wasn’t that bothered. My provider seemed like a nice guy, but as time went on, something about him didn’t sit right with me, like either him or the entire jobsearching thing was giving me bad vibes. Learning about the AUWU (Australian Unemployed Workers Union) and some of the things people wrote on their sites and pages didn’t help things either.

About a couple of months later, I didn’t feel like I was making any progress because despite all the job applications I sent, I never got any calls or emails back from them whatsoever (I did get a call for an interview once before I signed up for this welfare benefit, but I didn’t get the job in the end). It was then that I found out (through my university) that another employment provider had a program to help tertiary students living with disabilities find work. While I have been diagnosed with autism, I have never taken advantage of it to seek assistance (I did have teaching aides at primary and secondary school, but I was mostly capable of doing things otherwise so they mostly acted as assistants to the whole class instead of just me and the other kids with disabilities).

I signed up for this program and after going through a long progress of getting a medical certificate from my GP to verify my autism, going to the benefit office to get an assessment and informing my then-current provider of my intentions, I was successfully transferred to that program.

It was also around this time that the coronavirus pandemic happened and lockdowns resulted in me having to attend appointments over the phone or on Zoom, which I had no problem with. At the same time, I was also accepted for a work-from-home position with Lionbridge, which I only saw as a side gig. I did that job for a year before I quit - the lockdown and my various hobbies resulted in me only contributing two hours per week when Lionbridge recommended ten, though I did push myself to do ten hours during two particular weeks where they gave bonuses for those who achieved that goal. The gig was mostly checking Google search results to see if they fit with the user’s intent for the search - it was nice, but boring given that I get distracted while working on the computer at home and I had to record the times myself because their system didn’t do it for you. As a result of the lockdown, I just finished up the one subject I had left to finish my course and that was it. My welfare benefit also doubled because of the coronavirus supplement and I got to do some things I thought I would never be able to do because everyone was exempted from looking for work during that time. Even though I was caught up in some bad timing, I managed to find a big silver lining to it.

While I didn’t achieve much success with jobseeking during my time in the program, I did gain a lot more out of it than I probably would have did with my past provider. I did a short mentorship with someone from a big company who helped me to revamp my resume and cover letter. I applied for a few graduate programs and managed to progress to the assessment centre stage for one of them, but I didn’t get in in the end. I attended a three-week work experience assessment program with an agency dedicated to helping people with disabilities find work with big companies. I never told my career coach about my gig with Lionbridge because I signed up while I had correspondence with my first career coach and she quit a short while after - I don’t think she ever told him about it, so whatever I guess (also, as I said, it was only a side gig, so my goal was still to find full-time work).

On a side note, after a year with my previous provider, I would have had to undertake a “work for the dole” program, which is literally what it says on the tin. I don’t know what would have happened if it got to that stage because I managed to get out as quickly as I could and the lockdowns meant that changes had to be made as a result.

At the start of this year, I applied for what I thought was a part-time job at a single organisation, but was actually a casual contractor role. They accepted me and signed me onto their list and I never got a call or email from them again for like four months (with the exception of a newsletter lol). Remember this as it will be important for the next bit.

A few weeks ago, my coach informed me of a role being available at the very provider I was with. I thought I was very suitable for the job, so I asked him to pass on my resume to them. After a couple weeks of waiting, I was asked to come in for an interview on a Friday (I was only one of two applicants who signed up for that role, they never advertised it anywhere else). I went to the provider’s office and just as I was getting off the tram, I get a call from the contractor role advising me of a new job that was starting in a couple of weeks. I stalled them by asking them to email me the details before calling my coach to tell him about it; he advised me to focus on the job I came to interview for and I agreed since I knew it would be better for me and I had a stronger connection with them than with the contractor. So I ghosted the contractor, did the interview and went home that day with the expectation that I would get a reponse by the end of the day, but I didn’t since the interviewer was busy and I had to wait until the Monday.

I went away for a short trip that weekend and on the Monday, I get another call from the contractor asking me for my response. I stalled them again, telling them that I was out of town, then soon after, I get a call from my coach informing me that I got the job. I called the contractor again and told them to remove me from their list because I now had a full-time role. After a few calls that week, I agreed to start on the Monday after - which brings us up to today.

Personally, the wait was worth it, but the fact that it took four years for me to find a job (one-and-a-half since I signed up for that welfare benefit), most of the companies I applied for never got back to me and the entire thing with my first provider stressing me out just shows the absolute state of jobseeking in current year, particularly for a sheltered autistic like me who has had no experience in the workforce. I’m not advocating for “free money” because I’m evidently capable of working (and I’m also not an idiot), but I wish that companies and the government could give us a break now and then and save us the stress of worrying about whether we will actually get a job or whether we will be capable to feed our families with the amount of money we get and the conditions we have to abide by.

Society may be a fucking joke, but there are times where it comes through.

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newtothewaywardparty · 6 years

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Love Interruption 4

So, I accidentally wrote another Sam chapter. The thing is, he’s a better exposition monkey and also maybe I’m in love with Odie a little bit. Why do you keep talking about my shoulders? LOL, we are all Velma. ANYWAY here’s a long chapter and the next one has Destiel FEELINGS and AWKWARD SILENCES and GROUP THERAPY so if that’s your jam please keep reading I love you all like Sam loves books.

Sam awoke to the sound of the surf. He sighed deeply and raised his head off his pillow on the floor palette Odie had fixed him up in her small living area directly off her kitchen. After ducking in the bathroom, he investigated the tiny cabin looking for her, but it was empty. He helped himself to a bowl of the sweetened coconut rice pudding-type dish he found on the stovetop. Grabbing a mango from a bowl in the center of the metal folding table and a knife, he made his way outside.

He scored a mango half into edible cubes, which clung to the thin green skin until he chewed them off, their sweet juice dribbling down his chin. Odie strode confidently up the beach carrying her surfboard, water droplets on her skin and hair catching the morning sun. She gave Sam a grin that was all white teeth and a big wave with her free hand. Sam waved back and tried not to notice the way her board shorts hugged her strong thighs or the way her yellow bikini top set off her radiant skin.

Sam ducked his head until she was close enough to call to him over the morning waves. “Do all American hunters go to the beach in jeans and boots?” Odie propped her surfboard in its spot along the cabin wall and grabbed a towel from the clothesline.

Sam chuckled self-deprecatingly. “Don’t have many other duds, I guess. This is our first beach trip in a while.” Or ever, he thought. “Plus,” He tapped his boots together firmly where they sat at the end of his crossed legs in the hammock. “It’s sort of our all-purpose uniform. Protect the feet, the skin, layers for different temperatures.” His smile fell a bit. Their lives were not like normal people’s. Sam had a tendency to make himself sad. The downside of being smart, he guessed.

Odie pulled on a graphic tee and gave him a knowing look. “It’s the same here, but you need clothes that won’t get in the way. Loose, sweat-wicking so you don’t dehydrate. Light colors to reflect heat. Flip flops can be lost in a hurry. Sport sandals are better for the jungle.” She jerked her head toward the beach. “Good luck running something down in the sand in those huge clodhoppers.”

Sam made as if he was actually willing to haul himself out of the hammock. “Wanna race? Put your money where your mouth is?”

Odie swatted him with the towel. “I’d hate to humiliate you on your first day. Besides, we have work to do.”

They set up research headquarters at her kitchen table. Odie boasted a premium wifi connection one of her hunter network friends had spliced off the line running to the Stone Jaguar resort where Cas and Dean were staying.

“So, these couples all checked into the resort, and then disappeared on the last day of the couples’ retreat.” Sam summarized. Odie nodded, indicating the proto-murderboard she had rigged up, complete with photos of the couples, their names, and details of their cases underneath it.

“We already had our hunters work with local law enforcement but they’re worthless.” sighed Odie. “They all think the couples were mixed up in drug business in town or kidnapped by Guatamalans near the border.” She tossed her hair disdainfully. “Both theories are ridiculous, of course, but they are eager to write them off because nobody in this part of the country wants to hurt tourism.”

Sam nodded. Made sense, and reminded him of plenty of cases he had worked before. People were pretty much the same everywhere. Willing to turn a blind eye as long as it didn’t affect the status quo.

Odie stood, putting her hands on her hips, pacing in front of the posterboard she had tacked to her kitchen wall. “We also tried interviewing resort employees. They didn’t have any further details. The couples went to the retreat’s final ceremony-a graduation kind of thing. They returned to their rooms, and nobody ever saw them again after that.”

Sam sat back, clicking his pen. “Run through them for me again.” They had been through all of this online already, when he had agreed to come down. A former acquaintance of Eileen’s based in Mexico had connected them. Sam felt a pang at the memory of the brunette hunter, with her sass and bravery and great smile…

“Four couples with no connection I can find. Two in their 50s, one in their 20s, and one in their 30s. One from New York City, one from Sydney, one from rural Alabama, and one from a small town in Northern England. One white couple, one Asian couple, and two mixed-race couples. Three hetero, one same-sex. Two had children; two didn’t.” Odie blew air through her lips in frustration. “It must be opportunity rather than profile.”

Sam agreed, typing on his laptop rapidly. “And the reason we think it’s something supernatural is…” He trailed off. This had been a sensitive topic online. If he was being entirely honest, he didn’t think there was a case here. Maybe the local police were right. Just missing couples in a developing area with higher-than-usual crime.

If he was really willing to look honesty in the face, he’d admit he only agreed to the case to get some beach time and possibly, maybe, just a little part of him wanted to get his brother and Castiel into a couples’ retreat. But Sam was not on trial here.

Odie immediately bristled. “We’ve been over this. It’s too clean. Too neat for humans.” All the couples were found missing the morning they were to check out. Their rooms were undisturbed and locked. All luggage, valuables, and passports remained in place. Nobody saw or heard anything in the night or the morning. No bodies were ever found. They simply vanished.

Sam held a hand out, placating. “Okay. I believe you.” He didn’t, but Sam was good at talking people down. With patience borne of years dealing with jittery victims and his histrionic brother, he changed tack. “Who are the usual suspects in these parts? Vampires? Werewolves? Ghosts? Shifters?”

Odie gave a weird half shrug. “Yes. And no.” I’ve hunted all of those, but what we get here is a little different. After all, our folklore and indigenous gods are different than what you find in middle America.”

Sam raised his hands over his keyboard again, eager. “Okay, well, I’m okay in Spanish, too. What should I look up? Aztec or Inca?” Odie was silent long enough that Sam looked up to confirm she had heard him. She was doubled over, laughing so hard she wasn’t capable of making sound. She drew in a deep breath and schooled her features.

“Well,” she began in the prim tones of a schoolmarm. “Begin by researching all the lore from Mayan/Mestizo peoples whose cultures were indigenous here. Then add in all the French/Creole traditions of the Garifuna people, those descended from shipwrecks of enslaved Africans bound for the West Indies. Don’t forget the British Hondurans. Then of course the British colonizers themselves. In recent generations the Amish with German-descended lore can be found in many of our farming areas, and our cities are full of Chinese immigrants with their myriad religions.”

Sam pushed back from the table. He realized, of course, how reductive he had been, but he was also frustrated. How would they even begin to pinpoint what they were dealing with here?

He looked up at Odie who was watching him with less mirth now and more wariness. “I’m sorry. That was incredibly stupid. You obviously have been over all of this already, and know more than I even will about your community. What do you need from me? How can I help?”

Odie’s brown eyes measured him, assessing. “First,” she walked over and shut the lid of his laptop with a ‘click.’ “The answer’s not going to be online.” She leaned over him and quirked an eyebrow. “And due to the largely oral culture here, it’s not going to be in one of your books.” She pushed one of the tomes Sam had crammed into his carry-on away from him on the table.

She flopped into a chair next to Sam, sighing. “The reason I wanted a second set of eyes-experienced eyes-” here she cut her gaze to Sam who shifted, uncomfortably. The Winchester brothers were becoming somewhat of elder statesmen as far as hunters were concerned. “-is because I can’t figure it out. It’s…” she pressed her knuckles to her lips, and her gaze fell on a small framed photo on the opposite wall. “It’s not the first case that’s been unsolved here.”

Sam followed her eye line to the photo. A small girl with chubby cheeks and arms clung to a woman in a long skirt with armfuls of jewelry and a long, dark braid. A man with a beard and kind eyes had his arm around her, gazing at the girl adoringly. “Your parents?” Sam nodded towards the picture. They had talked about it a bit online. Hunters were often orphans.

Odie’s lips hardened into a line. She took a deep breath as though to begin a story, then stood abruptly. “I need a drink” she announced, grabbing a worn denim jacket from the hook by the door. She opened the door, then paused with her hand on the handle. “You coming?” She didn’t look behind her. Sam didn’t reply. He just walked past her into the warm night, resplendently clear with a beautiful three-quarter moon.

#supernatural #spn #fanfic #Sam Winchester #destiel #deancas #fake boyfriends #couples retreat #tropes #case fic

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blueberrypancakepotbellygirl · 5 years

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oOoOooOooOo she has so many thoughts !! time to spill !!

diagnosis and next steps

so, after the bad appointment last time, my mum and I have been planning to go back to the doctors and try to see a different practitioner and see if I can get referred this way. my mum talked to this psychiatrist lady she knows, and she asked me to send her an email with my symptoms and why i want a diagnosis. i told her the truth, including that i want a diagnosis for validation of my experience and the ability to access special circumstances at the university and through whatever employment I enter (so that, when school starts and when i get a proper job, i don’t have to wait 6 months for verification of my illness while i... idk break down or something. preventative mental health care just seems so logical idk why it isn’t encouraged more.)

the psychiatrist wrote a letter with her recommendations, something i could maybe give to whatever GP I see. Right now, though, i’m wondering if this is 1) worth it, 2) necessary, and 3) if i’m doing it for the right reasons.

I know that something is still wrong. I know if I was neurotypical i wouldn’t be self harming, i wouldn’t be having panic attacks, i wouldn’t be having these episodes of severe sadness and suicidal ideation. i wouldn’t still struggle with food. so, something is wrong. a diagnosis of SOME KIND is needed, because i haven’t been evaluated since before first year and these seem to have expiry dates. so i feel like, even if the first GP i saw didn’t think i had BPD, he should have still referred me because of the symptoms I have????? like fucking maybe ??

the thing is though, i know i’m not supposed to be in therapy right now. i know the relationships i have with my therapists can stunt my emotional growth (... just saying.... this is another symptom of BPD... just putting that out there). so i don’t want a diagnosis so that i can access TREATMENT. i’ve been getting treatment for over a decade ! i need to see how i do on my own ! so far that’s been.... real mixed !!!! as my life always is ! some days i feel like a fully normal person ! other days i feel like a fucking GOD. and other times i want to Fully Die and i feel the Worst I’ve Ever Felt and it feels like every cell in my body has relapsed. but i feel like if i say i’m not looking for therapy a doctor is going to (fairly, as well) be confused as to why i want an assessment.

the way i see it, a diagnosis allows me to access the SUPPORT i need to live my life without therapy. it allows me to have days off when i need them, it allows me extra time in exams, it is lenient with me in terms of how much is expected of me as a researcher or academic or employee. a diagnosis helps me navigate the world slightly easier. having a diagnosis of an eating disorder meant that i could be strict with employers about food breaks. having a diagnosis of depression meant i was given leniency when i came to missing classes and lectures. diagnoses are keys. if my life has these adjustments, therapy isn’t necessary. life gets its hardest when i can’t access these adjustments. but i don’t know if this is good enough for a GP to refer me. i know waiting lists are long (ahahaha i know this SO WELL) and doctors don’t want people on them who might have nothing wrong with them. i get that. but there is definitely something wrong with me, and i feel like this reason is a valid enough reason. maybe. i think i think i think.

okay but here’s where i stumble. because DESPITE IT BEING YET ANOTHER SYMPTOM THAT I DON’T HAVE A STABLE SENSE OF SELF AND I OFTEN CLING TO SPECIFIC THINGS TO MODEL MYSELF OFF OF BECAUSE I DON’T FEEL SUBSTANTIAL ON MY OWN i have always depended on my previous diagnoses as personality-makers. being ‘anorexic’ or ‘anxious’ became my entire personality. identifying with BPD has done the same. i honestly cannot remember a time where i didn’t have a diagnosis of some kind, just as i couldn’t remember a time until just recently when i hadn’t been in therapy. existing without a diagnosis is something i have never done, and the idea of it is SO FUCKING TERRIFYING. and, often, when i’m scared about something, it’s a sign i really, really, very much need to do that thing.

so now i’m stuck ! between the possibility that maybe i need to see how i am without a diagnosis and no help ! and trying to get help again and maybe being rejected again !!! but, i guess, if this was a physical illness ( and ik ik it’s stupid to compare them i know) then i wouldn’t be like ‘well, i’ve always had the diagnosis of diabetes, so maybe i should go a while without having it’. that’s just dumb.

look, i know my symptoms are mild. they are nowhere near as severe as many of those with BPD experience. my mania and depressive episodes happen a 3/4 times a week rather than three times a day. i don’t have debt. my relationships are significantly more stable (definitely not perfect by any means tho, still a long way to go, can’t get complacent). the eating disorder is so much better, the self harming is so much better. i am getting better. but when things are bad, they are SO BAD !!! and if i wait until things are SO BAD then it will be too late ! i am being a good patient by going in now smh.

i am going to go back to the doctors. i don’t know if i’m going to let my mum come into the actual appointment with me, because that’s a boundary i really want to reinforce. but i also don’t want to push her out of my personal struggles entirely either, so i feel like her coming down to support me through the appointment is a really good middle ground. we’ll see.

going home and family

i went home this weekend !!! i took alex and we got the train and my ENTIRE FAMILY CAME TO THE STATION and fucking Rory homophobe smith was there which was just... hilarious. so weird. why are my family so intense. but it went so well !! so so well ! i feel like dad likes alex way more than he ever liked mike (idk what he had against mike). i felt bad for not spending much time with my mum on our own, because that;s what i always do when i go home. but it was actually super nice to not do that, to not have super intensive emotional sessions with her. it was just... lovely to play chess and drink coffee and play with the dogs with alex and then leave the next day.

the night was hard. the night is always hard. triggers creep in like ghosts in the night, they seep through the wooden floors and sink into me. i went manic and was going through all the cupboards on the first and lower floor. idk what i was looking for. it was a pair of strawberry-patterned converse at first, and then i started feeling paranoid for no reason and searching for old diaries of mine that i thought my parents had hidden.

partners meeting family is always a big and important thing for me. gay partners meeting family is... a Whole New Thing. it forced me to confront those lingering feelings of guilt and shame that i feel about my sexuality and the Big Feelings of guilt i feel for upsetting my mother by being queer (aha. lol. that was. the worst. feeling. ever. it broke my heart. i am absolutely still not over that heartbreak it turns out. i’m getting there though.) but we did it and it went well and i am so grateful to have such a supportive partner and i am very in love and i like them very much and it feels like we are in a good and stable place and that is the best feeling ever.

how summer is going

summer is going. it’s super good and super bad. i need to get more interviews. i need to keep trying to keep a routine and keep my room clean and get fresh air even if that means i buy coffee from some dumb coffee shop every day. work is hit or miss. anxiety comes in waves, as does dissociation. depression hits like a brick and then leaves like a moving van. i need to sleep more, need to shower every day. water the sun flower. i have my paints now ! and my brushes !!! so i can paint things for all my friends and that makes me happy. immy and chema and dara and ale and alex can all get little summer paintings to commemorate the end of summer.

what’s next

dissertation. i’m putting out a new round of posts tomorrow. meeting ihsaan to catch up because i have been a terrible, super negligent friend to him recently. buy groceries because i need to eat more vegetables and protein. maybe buy a baking tin and make banana bread this week. i get paid on wednesday: no. 1 priority? immy’s birthday present. i have MANY IDEAS. gotta pick one now.

#p.

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theleftoverurl · 7 years

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So let’s recap the past couple of days because I haven’t for a while I suppose haha.

Had a marathon convo with Nemoss that went from 9am on Monday to 8am on Tuesday rip and because of that I’m currently operating on 1h sleep but I haven’t really felt very tired yet and I think mostly I’m okay, surprisingly.

So this week is the start of like hell study week jam all the notes into your brain type thing but for some reason I don’t feel particularly stressed about it. I have 112 pages of notes to learn so I’m hoping that the stress kicks in soon. I spent most of Monday morning killing time by playing on my phone and pretending to study. I made a study plan and that’s it.

Then at 1pm I got ready for hospy, grabbed a Turkish melt (yom) and found Kate and friends in Dino. They were going to Coog cos it was pretty hot so I waited for them to get ready and walked with them half the way so I could go to hospy. Time to do my SOCA! I was sort of nervous because I it’s a catchup SOCA to make up for the fact that I fucked up the Effective Communications cap so I felt like I had to make it count but didn’t want to be nervous because I felt that would affect my communication with the patient? I like did a quick recap of the history via Google and then met George my assessor. He was super nice and we went to the cardio ward to do it. The first two patients were busy and I almost had to interview a prisoner (which I was not ready to do lol) but luckily the prisoner was asleep. He was with two policemen and I was made really uncomfortable because as a joke when we asked if we could interview him one of the policemen offered to kick him awake and then when he saw our like shocked faces was like “I was joking” quickly and then like laughed but I felt it was awkward because being mean to a sick patient, prisoner or not is kinda rude? Anyway I had the best luck because I ended up interviewing a patient who was a retired nurse so she like knew what I was trying to ask with the history and could fill in gaps when I forgot to ask about things with useful information and she was super friendly so rapport was good. It was probably the most perfect history I’ve ever done, like structure good and everything and it was definitely what I needed to like boost my confidence about the whole situation and remember why I wanna do med and stuff. George was pretty impressed too so I P+-sed my way through the assessment lol. He did say I should’ve been more like relevant with my questions about presenting complaint though, because she was in for breathlessness and I didn’t pick up that that’s a sign of heart failure so didn’t really ask about related symptoms to heart failure. But overall, it was a good history and I was proud of it.

Then I headed up to Edmund Blackett to attend my actual hospital session. We had this nice girl called Emily running the session and she took us to this patient who had serious scoliosis. It was good to practice the hand exam with my newfound confidence and I feel like I really got a lot out of the whole thing. Hei Wai’s history was a bit stilted but it was actually quite good and just the whole thing was good because it’s renewed my confidence for the OSCEs kind of at a good time I feel.

Then I rushed back to college to borrow a charger off Hamish because mine broke and grab Rid’s textbook before tutoring. Tutoring was pretty fun we were doing polynomial division which is fun to like go through the process. Me and Rid both made a stupid mistake with one of the questions and I got so confused lol but overall it was a really good lesson and I really am feeling the bond between myself and all my kids which is just so hard when I think about dropping them next year.

Then on a whim when I got back I thought I’d study on Floor 7 for some company to see if any of my friends were around. It was windy af but stinking hot and Max was holed away in the stuffy stuffy study room but I joined him for like 30min of studs before STUVAC supper! Because it’s official uni study week, Dino feeds us like supper for Mon-Fri this week and J&D do free coffees and honestly it was so lit. Brownies and fresh fruit (for once) and I ripped my undies by deciding I’d drink a large mocha. I knew the coffee would fuck me up but I was just excited about free coffee and toasties and ham and I was talking to Nemo anyway so figured I wouldn’t be like up and insomniac alone. Kate and Vron were there and we actually chilled at supper for a bit because Kate’s finished for the year so she’s so calm and like chill now – like it’s actually a bit freaky how noticeable the difference is when she doesn’t have a single stress cos uni’s over for her. Vron was saying how she needs to sell her clothes cos she’s so poor and I wanted her like nice conservative clothes for hospy so I was like YASSS I’ll come to your room and look.

So we went to hers and I put aside a potential buy pile and she’s gonna bring up more clothes for me to browse next time she comes back from Tamworth. Then we marched up to Kate’s room so I could relieve her of some clothes. I don’t even need more clothes I have plenty I just wanted to cheaply boost my wardrobe and chill with the two of them and procrastinate I reckon. Linley and Hadeel and Nicky G and Claudia joined us in Kate’s room eventually and it was like a whole party!

Eventually we drifted to the commo and I did some actual work but it was getting pretty late by now so I only got through a couple of lectures. Also my computer just blinked out and died and I freaked the fuck out inside a little bit and had to make my notes off Edward Rose’s notes (which I actually think I may prefer doing now anyway lol) but yeah so it took a bit longer. And so I was texting Nemoss about euthanasia ethics because I wanted to show off my tute and I can’t believe he doesn’t like ethics and philosophy cos I feel like we talk that sorta stuff all the time and I was talking just generally to Max and Claudia and Nick and it was such a good time and then we drifted to Claudia’s room and suddenly it was 3am and we were talking some serious shit about annoying people at college (which was really funny because we all agree but can never say) and about how state laws are stupid and some should be federal etc. and then suddenly it was 3:30am and Clauds had fallen asleep with the light on so we thought we should vacate her room and everyone decided to go to bed.

I was still riding my coffee high and had Nemoss so headed back to my floor and omg Riley had vomited all down the corridor. It smelt terrible and he must’ve vomited like 3x down the corridor at least because it reeked and like in a patchy kinda way too. And then I see Riley and I swear I have never seen someone look so fucked in his life he was white as a ghost his eyes were starey and red and he was shirtless holding his shirt in a crumple and there were literally drips of vom dripping off his shirt-ball onto the floor in front of the bathroom. It was disgusting. And he stared at me blankly and then was like ‘Georgia’ and I was like gonna spew from the smell and I was sleep-deprived and like I don’t really like Riley and I was just like rip rip rip I’m gonna bed so I left him to deal with his shit.

His vom was so strong I could smell it from inside my room with the door closed so it was a huge rip. Anyway by then it was getting kinda late to sleep because I had to get up early to meet corky for brekky so I thought I’d just rough it and stay up and like watch my caffeine doses and like crash sometime tomorrow so I was up chilling with Nemoss by phone till 8am when I crashed for an hour.

Corky woke me up by texting me 40min later to see if I was awake to get ready to go to brekky and she’d even researched the bus I had to take and everything I was like wtf. So I dragged myself outta bed and had to shower on the 4th floor because the 5th floor still reeked like shit and I wasn’t entering that bathroom if my life depended on it. 4th floor water pressure is probably the worst in all of college, I discovered, so after an unsatisfactory shower I grabbed my wallet dumped mascara on and dragged myself on a bus to Centennial park.

Queen’s Park Shed was where we ate and it was actually like very small and quaint, not at all what I expected for some reason but it was nice and had just like chill picnic in the park vibes. Corky and I had granola with poached pear and berries and it was like clearly overpriced for $12 for like a bit of muesli, yoghurt and sparse berries but it was healthy, filling and yummy so oh well. I also medicated with a coffee and I reckon that’s why I’ve made it so far tbh. Corky and I had good chats because I haven’t seen her in ages and she was like not as stressed about uni work as usual because she’d purposely like written time off study so we could hang out. It was really really good to catch up and we talked from 10am to 2:30pm in our procrastination type catchup and it was so good we probs would’ve kept talking except I had to get to class by 3 lol.

SG was boring af we watched 2 videos on like bereavement and palliative care. The first was just an explanation of palliative care and the second was following the life of this irish man who had a large stomach sarcoma and was going to die. It was quite emotional but there wasn’t much like discussion on it and as soon as the vids were over we were pretty much allowed to leave. I was so bored and like not coping (but not tired yet, weird) so I let Kuheli like read texts on my phone and it was kind of weird breaching my own privacy like that but at the same time not really caring because I’m just at that stage in my life where I’m really open cos I don’t give like a shit about anything.

After SG we wasted time with Fenton and Nguyen for awhile then Kuheli dragged me to the coffee cart cos she wanted tea. I stayed well away from that coffee cart because I wanted my sleep tonight thank you very much but considering it’s now 1:30am and I haven’t slept it’s all quite moot, isn’t it? And then I bussed off to tutoring with Ella. Kuheli walked me to the busstop which was nice and I almost crashed on the bus but by that time I was dangerously close to my stop so managed to stay awake. Tutoring Ella woke me up too. We made use of the NRICH site link I stole off Wayne when I used to tutor him and we started doing some problem solving. We were only doing extension Year 5 problem solving and she’s year 7 but I felt that like it was easy enough to ease her into the concepts and yet there were still some things which confused her so I think it was a good level to start and maybe we will build on it next time and go a bit up idk. HOWEVER her exams are coming up so I can’t get distracted by my get her to problem solve goals cos she really has to revise all her topics to do well and pass her test like as first priority. Anyway it was nice session and afterwards her Dad dropped me back at Churchies like right near uni so I didn’t have to bus which was so so so fantastic.

I went up to floor 7 because I think whilst I’m studying I should make the most of people being around and soak up some company too and Linley was studying in the study room. I got a decent amount done, but I’ve lost a lotta time due to wasting time on Monday and having breakfast with Courteney like all day today so I’m still behind but not too stressed. Headed down to floor supper and cos I didn’t have lunch or dinner I like went ham and had a double cheese and ham toastie, 2 donuts and fruit and it was honestly so lit. Stayed away from the coffee again though cos I ain’t that mad.

Then back up to the study room and honestly just threw myself into it. Like Max, Claudia and Nicky G were in and out I think but I honestly can’t say what was going on I was so focused. Kate popped in as well and I think her like meeting with Hugh didn’t go great but it was never going to so at least she was a bit prepared? Idk then we moved to the commo again and the chill cycle is repeating again as we speak with the same people. Hamish has lent me his charger again tonight thank god so I have my phone and now that I’ve successfully (and lengthily) recapped the past like idk 48 hours or so, I can head back for some chats before bed. Hopefully I can find the balance between sleep and chills but idk even if I don’t I just don’t wanna rek myself too much. There’s always a bit of coffee tho tomorrow idk.

Off to Woollahra library all day cos I wanna try a change of scene but also wanna get a lot done so should be like nice to go somewhere slightly different to hang for once. Kk that’s all for now, I know this is quite badly written but I don’t have the cognitive function to like fix it up or write it properly or anything on my limited sleep right now, so it will have to do. Till another day J

#personal

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childrenofathoria-rp-blog · 7 years

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◆Out Of Character Information◆

Name/Age: Jan, 20 years old Preferred Pronouns: She/Her Timezone: GMT+1 Desired Character: Ashley Baldwin

◆Character Information◆

(1) What pronouns will your character be using? Would you like to list their sexuality at this time?:

She/Her. As for her sexuality, no, I don’t want to list her sexuality for the time being; I don’t know where I want to go with this character yet.

(2) Any changes or comments? Ashley’s FC is going to be Phoebe Tonkin. ACCEPTED

(3) Why this character?

My reason for choosing Ashley is simple. Considering that I basically tip-toed my way around vampires in the last season and strictly focused on everything that involved werewolves, I wanted to switch up my game for this season. Her biography was probably the first or second one that I checked out and I immediately felt muse for her. Due to the fact that she’s a blood doll, she’s always surrounded by vampires; but Ashley’s also human and therefore not necessarily depended on them nor restricted by the disadvantages that are linked to being a vampire. I guess I just wanted to play a character that isn’t a supernatural, but has plenty of business with the fantasy basterds.

(4) Interpret this character:

“Sounds naive respecting someone who doesn’t give a shit about you.”

Ouch.

Seems familiar, doesn’t it? If anything, Ashley Baldwin is the epitome of naivety—or used to be at the beginning of her grand blood doll career, anyway.

GENERAL TIDBITS: Before Ashley joined the vampire squad, I imagine her to have been this spunky, curious and carefree brat. I will headcanon that, starting at the age of around six, she’s always been interested in fashion and in the process of creating something. Considering that she grew up in the northern part of Chile Village, her family was too poor to afford luxurious fabrics and garments and as a result, the girl found other ways to entertain herself. You would often see her exploring mountains of garbage from morning till evening; and at the end of the day, Ashley would present a dress made out of dirty rags or crowns made out of broken pottery. She was someone who was able to make the best out of the worst, saw potential in things that everyone else deemed useless. She was a child who was completely isolated from the world outside of Chile. In other words, she was quite adorable, yes, but also painfully ignorant. She’d never encountered evil before, although Ol’ Milly made sure that she was familiar with the idea of it. Vampires, werewolves, magic — each of these were considered evil, but also myths that actually didn’t exist. LOL. Poor baby girl.

I want to headcanon that Ashley’s first visit to Brailston was one of the most traumatic experiences in her life. Despite the warnings of her village comrades, she proudly went to the big city in her best get-up: Which was as pretty as a kitchen towel, really. Her father accompanied her, for he knew that going to Brailston would turn out to be anything but wonderful for Ashley. Et voilà — the people of Brailston sent a reality check prescription her way in the most despicable of ways. Very, very despicable, mind you. She messed with the wrong people (which were of upper-class status) and whatever happened after that is a topic that nobody dares to bring up. Long story short (and it WILL be a long story, but I want to elaborate on this IC), one bloody event led to another and Ashley suddenly found herself in the arms of a vampire who brought her to Night Haven. Alone, without her father. ASHLEY & VAMPIRES: At first, Ashley felt great when she was told that her blood made her a special snowflake. She was basically a nobody all her life and as important as mud on a fresh pair of leather boots. Coupled with the traumatic events that happened in Brailston, she had nowhere to go anymore, so she stayed in Night Haven. She was genuinely satisfied about the fact that she wasn’t nothing in this place, that there was worth in her and that she was needed. Each vampire bite reminded her of this, hence she craved them as a form of acknowledgement. She felt safe and was naive enough to believe that her blood was kind of like a life insurance; nobody would harm her because it was too precious.

It was only after quite some time had passed, however, that Ashley became aware of how foolish she was. In fact, there was no strict system which guaranteed her safety among the vampires. There were times when she was fed from without her consent; more often than not, she had to hold her tongue in order to avoid imminent death. She realized, that she wasn’t the kind of “special” that she’d imagined; she was only a human blood bag that was expected to be available at all times, ready for the taking. And easily replaceable.

Ashley realized that she was very restricted in her freedom. May it be freedom of speech or being free to go wherever she wanted — the lively glow and enthusiam she used to radiate have watered down considerably. Intrinsically, she’s become a ghost of her past self. She is aware of this, but does nothing to change her current condition because then she’d admit that her life so far was nothing but a failure. A life that never belonged to her, a life that wasn’t worth much. She secretly yearns to break free from Night Haven and the vampiric life style, but doesn’t know how to do that. Ashley is a pretty lonely creature and I think deep down, all she wants is a proper family that appreciates her efforts and gives her unconditional love. She is tired of having to act all strong and tough (which is necessary if she doesn’t want to get swallowed whole). She’s a romantic at heart and actually such a softie who wants her share of cuddles and kisses at night.

ASHLEY & TRENDSETTER: In order to escape the harsh reality that is the life of a blood doll, she pours whatever is left of her into her hobby and passion: Fashion. The only thing in her life that remained a constant, as well as her curiosity. She is constantly trying to come up with new trends and studies the things she is given carefully. I imagine that she would love to travel and find out about more, diverse beauty standards. She is very open-minded and patient for that matter. Due to her circumstances though, she can’t travel as she pleases and usually asks some of the vampires for Memory Sharing (then again, a lot of vampires lived mostly in caves only HA, too bad Ashley bby). Needless to say, she doesn’t exactly dislike the concept of the Athorian monarchy, but she dislikes all the upper-class people who are involved. She hates them with a great passion and always feels amazing whenever they copy her. It’s kind of this “HA, you’re copying and admiring the piece of shit you made fun of” feeling.

ASHLEY & FUTURE IDEAS: - I want her to meet people who are not vampires!!! (magic pls) - I’d like to think that Ashley and the vampire who brought her to Night Haven have a close relationship, even to this day; they’re also the only ones who are allowed to bite her neck, this role can be taken by one of the playable vamps - I want events to happen that finally make her try to get the hell out of the vampire hoe club; they’ve got to be intense and shake her take on the world (ex: she finds someone she wants to settle down with, or a feeding goes terribly wrong, or she generally meets people who can broaden her horizon; it’s because she thinks that staying in Night Haven is her only option) - I really want to see her explore the world and find inspiration for her work; she’s so passionate and talented and should get the opportunity to become a designer, she deserves to thrive damn it!

◆ Interview Questions ◆

(1) Question One: Have you ever had a horrifying feeding situation where you feared for your life? What happened? If not, are you scared of experiencing one?

→ “No.” A pause. “No,” she repeated, and this time it sounded genuine. “I’ve never had a horrifying feeding situation.” Before she proceeded, Ashley’s gaze subtly scanned the room, watching, assessing whether any of the vampires were in sight. None. “I’m in good hands here. The vampires that come to me are polite. Friendly. I appreciate that. They wouldn’t harm me.” (2) Question Two: Have you visited your friends and family in Chile Village now that you are a Blood Doll for vampires?

→ Ashley’s eyes widened. “Pardon?” The gentle smile that usually rested upon her lips vanished and her posture became rigid. Raw emotions coasted over the soft lines of her face. “I don’t have a family waiting in Chile for me anymore.” Her accent became thicker, which added a harshness to her words, albeit unintended. “The people of my village would — they would…” She looked down at her fingers and forced a pained smile. Coward. “They’d rather see me burn in the main square than welcome a vampire slut into their home.” ◆Writing Sample:◆

“Hmm. Now that I get a closer look at you, I have to admit that it’s true what they say about you. You’re quite the beauty.”

Cold fingers brushed her hair behind her left shoulder, then placed fleeting touches along her jawline, down her neck, over that very special and delicate spot. The vampire appraised Ashley with hunger glazing in his eyes. Like two needles they seemed, sharp and dangerous, ready to spoil their prey with painful pinpricks, ready to spoil her. She slapped his hand away, then began to loosen the sleeves of her dress.

“Compliments won’t make me willing to give you more than what was promised. You paid for my wrists; you will get my wrists and nothing else.” Although her actions were daring, her expression remained soft and gentle and caused for the vampire to tolerate her behavior. He wasn’t pleased, however.

“Well, well. Brave, aren’t you.” The vampire tilted his head, a mocking smirk creeping on his lips. “Or… just stupid?” To prove his point, he closed the already small space between them even more. “Here you are, with your back pressed against the wall, trapped between my arms. Who do you think would care, if I took more than what I initally asked for? You? Yes, of course. Anybody else?” He shook his head. “No.”

At this point, Ashley had stopped to move and couldn’t help but to return his gaze. Her eyes widened, her lips parted. Fear crawled into her bones, fear and shame for she knew that he was right. She was aware of the fact that creatures like him were able to crush her easily, that she was walking along the path of danger and madness. Nobody would care about her discomfort, nobody would even notice. He could take her however he wanted, he could even take her life; it didn’t matter. She had no true say here, no true power.

“I see that you understand. Brave, it is.” The vampire chuckled and pulled away from her. Instead, he sat down on the antique couch and patted the seat next to him. “Come here. I’m in a good mood. I will take what I’ve paid for and nothing else.” Inhale. Exhale. She took a few deep breaths until her heartbeat was steady again. “As you wish.”

#athoria accepted

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