#which i must catch up on

[gardenerian]

How to get ghost Mel to go into the light:

"Ian and his tomatoes are on the other side."

an emoji story: ✨🙎🏻‍♂️🧑🏻‍🌾🍅⛅️👻🪦🏃‍♀️💨

oh my god. gardening in the afterlife 🥺 that... that makes me EMOTIONAL. but yes, if yall are ever ready to just get rid of me, that's the way to make it happen!

#had to put mickey in there too #if ian's a ghost gardener then you bet mickey is around #GHOST GARDENER AU asdkjfh #that's basically vicks' ghost ian fic #which i must catch up on #that'll be my plan tonight #oh god mel stop talking #okay okay but #i hope you are all reading ghost ian fic 🥰 #mel answers

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

#in our enclosures!! #video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right #lackadaisy #WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic #like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet. #the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me #like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but. #good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort??? #and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it.. #if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also #juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story #and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like #take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol #namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other #which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky #have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the #comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another.... #For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's #historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol #like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret... #Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery #which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah #anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots #sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps #and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill #and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have #you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas #SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later

[vynnyal]

Btw I'm basically speedrunning now

#Rain world #game clips #I've gotten a lot better since I made this video but I still love it. This will be my tenth challenge and I've spent like 7 hours on it lol #I mean 7 hours of actual attempts before I realized I need to get better to stand a chance. #So I'm smacking my friends in the face with rocks while sliding or have to wait for everyone to catch up all the time #Because now I can't NOT use the cool movement tech I've learned. It's so fun and useful and ✨fast✨ #It's actually saved our lives so many times. Nothing funnier than yelling ''BEND OVER'' to my buddy and absolutely booking it #Also since we've delved into the world of modded regions it's been extremely nice for the bs parkour people include for no reason 😭 #If I'M struggling good god it must be tough for casual players #SPEAKING OF MODS! I've been hanging out and talking with modders and oh my god they're all crazy #One of my favs was the deserted wastelands dev who was just. So jaded. it was so funny #And we're playing thru Drought which is very interesting. It has like. Multiple endings and stuff #Finally know who that striped black cat is lmao #Gonna post some fanart in the future because I'm actually in love. Moon is such a mom in this campaign #It's also a horribly glitchy mess that destroys your game files but wwyd

[naamahdarling]

.

#ashamed and alarmed to discover that much like teachers #people who work closely with folks who spend a lot of time on the streets #and in shelters #or in buildings that offer services to the disadvantaged #will catch every fucking thing that goes around #just like their clients do #which sucks more for them #by like a whole fucking lot #but also sucks for my boyfriend who needs to do his job which is to help them and would rather not have to do that while sick #but we don't have a choice and they don't have a choice and this work MUST be done #so he has to try to do it anyway and hope he can hold up #desr god he is tough #for a soft guy #it also sucks for me because i catch almost all of it too #we have each been sick three times this year #and i know people do deal with and are dealing with way worse so i feel bad being mad about it #not mad at the people or my boyfriend but mad at the whole situation #this is infuriating and between us this year we could have fulfilled the snot needs of the entire nation if there were a shortage #i hope i don't catch whatever this is #and i hope our immune systems are not so ravaged by the covid we had a year ago that we cannot build a more robust immunity to rhinoviruses #ughhh stupid flesh hovels

[thebirdandhersong]

you guys God is so good and life is so surprising…… the barista gave me a free chunk of lemon loaf (I LOVE lemon loaf) today did I mention for FREE…. I saw an awkward looking young boy walking to his car from the florist with a little bouquet of pink flowers in hand for his girl……. there's this professor from Nanaimo who translates Ancient Greek stuff for free and I found his translation of The Iliad online….. the latest articles on Ekstasis are SO good and they made my heart so full after two hours of drudgery (class)..... I read this poem called Let God Become the Quiet in All Things and it twisted my heart a bit..... had Rocky Road ice cream with an unsettling amount of caramel and chocolate syrup last night before bed....... and in two hours and a bit, I shall be at my friend's house singing hymns with her and her other friend at our first English-lit-girls-choral-enthusiasts meeting......... everything is going to be fine, I think :)

#i was talking to my mother and crying about the future and present last night because it felt like the world was ending #but the world is not ending and all SHALL be well! #i have been quite unsettled of late because im STILL catching up on class readings and classwork #and because of in-class pressures and fear of the future #which has been accumulating (the worries and work i mean) to the point where i simply burst into tears when walking down #the hall one day i ran into the sweet one. i literally saw his face and five minutes later started crying because it all felt like so much #but all SHALL be well i am not careening towards an explosion #sometimes life feels like lizzy mcalpine's five seconds flat but one must remind oneself that life #is not in fact lizzy mcalpine's five seconds flat

[girl-named-matty]

Possibly controversial yet I need to find my people.

Does anyone else find Everett attractive or is that just me?

#LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS SLEEVES ROLLED UP #THEN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND #and he's got the soft tummy which I love #hogwarts legacy #hl #Everett Clopton #“but his voice-” YEAH AND #he'll grow out of it and if not I'll just have a squeaky door hinge boyfriend so whAT #amit is still my favorite ravenclaw that much is obvious #but I must come clean and say everett does indeed catch my eye HAHA

[dykealloy]

genderfluid law using room to mix-and-match his secondary sexual characteristics. you agree.

not satisfied until the pussy is downright diabolical

#i need to know how doc Q's shiku-shiku no mi fruit works #like it's different from iva's obviously (and if i had a penny for every time oda made a genderbending fruit id have two pennies which...) #so it afflicts people with diseases. and law can resist it's effects with haki but MY THEORETICAL QUESTION has it been 'cured'? #or must law actively use his haki to keep this up #i diagnose you with girl disease #i need to catch up on the manga it's these kind of important questions i need answered #look am i saying i would be overjoyed by 1/2 ranma law conceptually #absolutely. #will oda allow that to happen? #probably not. #one piece #trafalgar law #op

[wiccawrites]

Dragon!Porsche, the deity who has been guarding a perilous mountain range for almost a thousand years now. He's bound to these mountains – the result of a curse he placed on himself centuries ago, when his own foolishness led to the death of his own brother.

Porsche keeps to himself; is careful that the occasional caravan of traders or group of bandits doesn't know he's there. He does send his pet tigers after the bandits sometimes, if he sees they're the especially bloodthirsty kind who won't spare innocent lives but he makes sure his presence is undetected.

Solitude is his penance.

He's spending another evening watching the stars when he hears ruckus coming from a nearby pass. There is screaming, but not the terrified kind that Porsche has gotten used to. Instead, it sounds like an argument.

"I can't let you do this!"

"How did you even follow me? I took the fastest stallion here!"

"Would you please stop changing the topic? Your Highness. You seriously cannot be trusting some half-crazed old man's advice on how to save the kingdom."

Kingdom?

Porsche knows there's a human settlement on the other side of these mountains. Or at least, it had been a settlement centuries ago. He and Porchay used to slip into their human forms and visit there, under the guise of travelers.

Was that settlement the same kingdom these two humans were referring to? It could be. The number of traders passing by these mountains had grown significantly over the centuries.

Out of curiosity, Porsche follows the sound of their voices.

"If it can save the kingdom, I'll take advice regardless of who it comes from."

"What if it doesn't work? You'll bleed out and die!"

"I've instructed Arm to distribute rations to our people. Ships and caravans are ready. Pete will lead our men. Kim has already planned an escape route that will guarantee the survival of most of our people."

Porsche is close enough that he can see two figures -- a man and what sounds like a boy barely breaking into adulthood. The man has his back turned to Porsche but the fine quality of his clothes are certainly fit for a royal. His broad frame hides the face of the person he's talking to from Porsche's line of sight.

Porsche is close enough that he can hear the man's voice grow soft.

"It will be difficult, but I trust my brother to lead our people. He'll take care of you, so please look after him for me too."

"No. I won't do it. No. Please, Your Highness. Please don't do this. Please. You can escape with us."

"The moon is almost at it's peak. You should go."

That it is.

The moon is full tonight and she lends her light to the darkness. It's thanks to her that Porsche sees the blade glisten in the man's hands, hidden behind his back.

The boy tries to plead some more, but he runs out of time.

As soon as the moon rises to its highest point in the sky, the man pushes the boy away. He turns around, slices his palm with the dagger and lets his blood drip into the earth before turning the knife towards himself.

The metallic scent blood fills the air and Porsche looks on in regret as he hears familiar words uttered into the night before the man finishes what he'd set out to do.

The thing about being nigh immortal is being able to witness the stories about you turn into tales, which then turn into lore, that somehow evolves into a legend. To this man's credit, he does have his facts right.

Had Porsche been a weaker deity, a selfless blood sacrifice made at the height of the full moon would have bound him.

But Porsche is much more powerful than that.

He watches as the man falls to the ground, a pool of his own blood already beginning to form around him.

"P'Kinn!"

The man's companion rushes to his side and Porsche freezes in place as he sees tears flow down the boy's face.

No. It can't be.

Porsche is stepping closer to get a good look of the boy's face before he can even think about throwing a glamor on himself. He steps on a branch that snaps loud enough for the boy to look up, red-rimmed doe eyes the exact same as they had been nine hundred years ago.

"Please," the boy's voice wavers as he begs, completely oblivious to the fact that Porsche had never been unable to deny him anything since they were born. "Please save him."

Without even thinking about the consequences – the bond he'd be forming with a virtual stranger, the life force that he'd be sharing with someone who he wasn't even sure was worthy saving, the target he'd be placing on all their backs if the wrong people found out – Porsche takes the dagger and gives in to his brother's request.

(Later, when the three of them are safely in Porsche's home, the man he'd saved wakes up. His name is Kinn, and he is the king of the relatively small but prosperous kingdom nearby. There is an invasion brewing and all plans of negotiation have failed.

"They will need to pass through these mountains if they want to get to us. Please, protect us."

"Done."

"You won't ask for anything in return?"

Porsche holds up his hand, shows Kinn the fresh scar on his palm.

"You've already paid the price. You're a king, aren't you? The ritual you performed binds you to me. As I am bound to these mountains, so shall you be."

"You're saying I'm your slave and I can't leave this place," Kinn says grimly. Porsche nods, lets him assume the worst; hopes this interpretation of the bond will keep Kinn as far away from him as possible . "For how long?"

"This is not a bond that can easily break."

"Will you keep protecting the kingdom?"

Porsche sneaks a glance at Kinn's attendant. The boy called Chay, who was currently napping beside one of Porsche's tigers.

"Sure, why not?"

"Then so be it.")

#they got dragon married Kinn just doesn't know it yet #if u must know Kinn assumes he's Porsche's servant and Porsche...goes with it bc hey he doesn't wanna do chores fjskjsfjs #it's all fine and dandy until Porsche realizes Kinn has No Self-Preservation Skills Whatsoever #and he ends up lowkey having to take care of Kinn #which is harder than expected bc humans are fragile af even with the shared lifespan from the bond #y'know the one Porsche has yet to talk to Kinn about? #he figures Kinn won't notice until at least a decade passes by #he has time ok? #anyway they catch feelings and end up fucking without talking about said feelings bc KinnPorsche #but don't worry they get there in the end there's just a lot of mutual pining in between #there's a whole subplot including Chay and his identity but I won't get into it #basically he doesn't have any noble blood but he grew up with the theerapanyakuls #huehuehue kimchay childhood bestfriends trope

[lungthief]

it is kinda funny watching some people be like “yeah i didn’t really feel invested in s2 of heartstopper :/ i loved s1 but for some reason i just don’t care as much now” and it’s like. yeah. i think the reason is that you are now in your 20s

#like don’t get me wrong watch whatever you want but like. at the end of the day you gotta realize that it is intended for a younger audience #idk I don’t watch the show but I’ve seen criticism that’s like ‘it feels so juvenile’ yeah babe. it is meant for teenagers. that’s why #i wouldve eaten it tf up in my teen years!!!! especially given the queer media landscape back then #but the beauty of queer tv now is that like. there is queer content targeted at children and teens #it’s not the catch-all watch you Must watch whatever sliver of representation you can get sorta thing #(which usually just meant that like. teens were watching shows for more adult audiences instead of the other way around) #shut up riley

[moregraceful]

feeling uncooperative with the prompts in the meme. between cheech and old pat which one would survive a joint venture into a thrift store? and which of them would you convert into a minor league baseball player if you had a magic wand

God yeah I reblogged that list and then read the questions and was like...this list is wack lol. Anyway THANK YOU these questions are much more important and gets really into the Hearts and Minds of these men.

Who survives a joint venture to the thrift store: Old Pat. It's Old Pat. Man has looked 40 years old since he hit puberty and has just kept growing older. Old man is in his element with the real senior citizens. However it is very important to me to mention that they're going to a bespoke thrift store for like farm and cowboy shit. Cheech could handle normal thrifting. Cheech would be great at normal thrifting. But take him to a store where it's JUST vintage farming equipment and cowboy leather shit and that city boy is going to panic. Old Pat is having a blast looking at pieces of metal that clearly spark joy in his construction worker heart but make NO sense to Cheech, son of academics, WHL overager. Cheech agreed to come to the store to push the cart but now he is manfully deep breathing while Old Pat examines a metal thing with rings. Is it for horses? Is it for wearing? Is it a BDSM thing? Do you put it on a tractor? Cheech is scared. (It is literally just a beval bit.) These stores don't exist in the Bay Area but maybe they do in idk Manitoba or Michigan or whatever. Or Gilroy, where all our dreams come true.

Minor league baseball player: the thing is, we're on Sieloff Watch (KING. ANNOUNCE YOUR RETIREMENT OR SIGN SOMEWHERE BEFORE I THROW UP) and Cheech is having his hot girl summer. So I'm inclined to say Cheech, just bc I think he has a shot in hell of making it OUT of minor league baseball. Also he is handsome like a baseball player. He has the looks for it. Not that you have to be handsome to be a baseball player but it helps. Can you imagine that man in the humid outfield of some nameless town in the San Joaquin Valley, fighting for his life in the game, the top three buttons of his jersey are undone, his curls are wilting, the uhhhh idk Fresno Nightcrawlers, AA for some cursed af West Coast team, are down 9-7 in the 8th, when the skies open up and it starts pouring...the stands, already two-thirds empty on a Tuesday night clear, while the teams run for cover under the downpour. Nick stands in the outfield and tilts his head toward the sky, feeling, for a moment, relief and peace.

#this was soooo fun thank you #i unpacked 21 boxes of books. i need to organize since the categorization is loose but at least there are no longer 24 boxes in that room #there is a box of comics i don't want and two boxes of cookbooks for the kitchen #idk what to do with the comics. the part of my life where i was an issue by issue reader of comics is over #tempted to loosely inventory and sell on ebay like here for $50 all these doa indies can be YOUR problem #i'm also missing a whole chunk of my tkams but my mom says she saw a box of them in another room #which is good bc i would literally go insane if i were truly missing any of my intl copies of tkam some of that shit was SO hard to aquire #anyway i just remembered what i was going to say which is that in the cuda frontier town au in my shower thoughts #siels is the washer woman. he runs a laundry. employs robbie (too small to ride horses) and weather (doesn't want to be a cowboy) #cheech comes from way out of town bc he's on the run from the LAW (shot a man in manitoba but the other guy had it coming) #he lives in old pat's house above the laundry. shares a bedroom with robbie. siels teaches him how to get the blood off of leather #siels falls in love but the LAW catches up with cheech and he has to run further west and old washerwoman pat and his boys stonewall the LA #siels thinks of him still on cold nights. when he can hear his boarders laughing through the walls as they play cards #what life must be like to be young and in love..... (he is literally 28) #also henry is the one room school teacher #cage replies #anon #i love this ask lol thank you so much 🙏😌

[lynxalon]

HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTT THAT CRITROLE EP WAS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! im SO glad we had the set up of the last one so we could have the big thrills of this!!!!!!!!! this had everything!! it had ira's bad (and good!) decisions! it had sam's out of pocket wacky can shenanigans!! it had deception and sneaking! it had badass plays and some.. eye-catching talents 👀 it had gross shit that's kinda actually sad if u think about it! it had walking (running) away from explosions (NOT a sunglasses moment this was a loserfail) it had .. terrifying parents. it had imodna momence !! :D it even had some unprecedented wins for our typically fighty/flighty adventurers!!! i will ABSOLUTELY be watching that again come monday!!!!!!!!!!

#lynx speaks #cr spoilers #now to expand upon these!!! i am THRILLED that there has been a more overt notice of orym's hex 😏 #thats what i've been excited for for aaaaaaages i adore orym esp when he gets a little more fucked up #what can i say im a bit of an angst fan myself :D #fcg gave ira SUCH a bad time tho like CMON BBYYYYY 1 MINUTE ?!?!?!?!?!! yall r LUCKY yalls r cool af #also tho.... ira actually saving fearne like 👀 i see it!!! i think simply everyone likes fearne and everyone would save her 😎 #and team infiltrate i loooved imogen's use of that damn .. what was it called ? the damn static bomb that was sick as hell!!! #and hey!! both teams got in and out without anyone catching on that it was bells hells helping! #is that a first for bh? cause it sure feels like it TBH like the feywild malleus key stunt did NAWT go this smoothly #even with the bumps they had they did terrific frfr #esp with imogen setting up oryms badass fighter play and launda and chet setting each other up for success #and it does FEEL like imogen is more powerful on ruidus just from the plays she makes like the static spell and how it set Everyone up #to protect them all and keep their enemies in bad positions so that bh had good positions #they barely got hits and orym and chet took the brunt of it #they got out everoa and themselves without too much hassle and i'd say team mcfuckin 'splosion did pretty fucken well too #more damage on their side but. thatssss not their fault thats mainly on ira (and fcg 😂) #gosh. goshhh. what a good fucking episode. and sorrowlord zathuda. and liliana. fuck bro. #zathuda is SCARY #and liliana i meaaaaaaan. hun what did u THINK 🧐 imogen meant when she told u to run?? 🤔 'did she know' u know the answer to that. #i was definitely excited cause. we knew the volition were gonna fail in killing liliana. but i felt in my heart that she was gonna #feel betrayed by imogen. despite creating the scenario in which imogen must 'betray' her. #i LOVE fucked up mothers cant waaaaait to see what happens next !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cagedchoices]

As we trickle on down the line with more people becoming more aware that there are some people out there in this world using AI language programs such as ChatGPT, OpenAI and CharacterAI to write positivity, come up with plotting ideas, or write thread replies for them, I'm going to add a new rule to my carrd which I'll be updating later today:

Please, for the love of God, do NOT use AI to write your replies to threads, come up with plots, or script your positivity messages for you. If I catch anyone doing this I will not interact with you.

#i'm an underachiever — out. #this is the bad place #we are just begging for Rehoboam or the Machine from Person of Interest to become our new reality at this rate #because there are practically no laws regulating AI learning yet #so it's like the wild west in a digital space #people taking incomplete fics from ao3 or wattpad or ff and asking AI to finish it for them AS IF IT'S NOT STRAIGHT UP PLAGIARISM #google docs being used to train the AI so i guess i'm gonna have to find a nice notebook and just write everything by hand #also #THIS HAS NOT PERSONALLY HAPPENED TO ME YET #i just saw a mutual who said they saw another mutual who saw a PSA which means that SOMEWHERE it happened to someone #i have also seen a few answered asks float across the for you page discussing the concerns about people posting AI generated fic on ao3 #and arguing against or in defense of readers using OpenAI to finish writing incomplete fics that were abandoned by the author #which means that it must happen and at the rate things are going it is only a matter of time before it catches up to the rest of us #mel vs AI

[ballsballsbowls]

.

#oh this is the pettiest Old Man Yells At Cloud ever #if you've followed me for a long time you know I am not 'in fandom' at all really #I'm an extremely casual fan of [IP redacted] and cannot get over how many people must like #EXPLICITLY go through the tumblr tags to reblog every post to...mention they've only sat through the first few eps? #not even a 'well I didn't like it' or anything just that they quit for Some Reason and might pick it back up someday #which is SUPER there's been like 100 eps since you dropped out and I want to know why you think people care where you stopped #to be clear I don't care if you liked it or don't I am no SuperFan I am a Casual Enjoyer who goes long stretches and then catches up #I'm just vexed and befuddled why all of these people think it's VITAL I know they haven't experienced a single ep in years? #it's SO MANY of them all commenting to say the exact same thing? #thank GOD you're here we were having a debate about something in Ep7 and needed someone who only vaguely remembers it in a contextless soup

[emile-hides]

The highs and lows of the Reef Slider

#Splatoon #Splatoon 3 #I am clinging to the Undercover Brella until further notice which means I must get gud with the Reefslider #And I am STRUGGLING #Every time I see a Soda Machine tho I am DIVING that #My favorite currently is dropping it off a cliff like a Splat Bomb #Luckily the game and thus it's new Specials are all new enough that I can catch a lot of people off guard with stupid stunts #I'm so lucky the Undercover Brella they have us was the one with Ink Mines I'm basically playing my Splat 2 main #but with a Shark Ride #I'll eventually pick up the N-Zap or something else with the soda Machine #As soon as I get a better winning emote I hate the backflips so much #Brella defaul win emote is the best emote in the game by far #Bless brellas oh how I missed you #So far Splat 3 feels a LOT more like Splat 1 than Splat 2 #The maps feel smaller the battles feel quicker #Maybe it's just because it's New New and this is my first time playing a Splatoon New New but everything feels hog wild rn #It's fun.

[redvanillabee]

digging through old, contemporary ac content makes me kinda wistful that i missed all of that. ac s2 overlapped with my final semester in uni and between how busy and that stressful that semester was, and that i am really bad at finding access to overseas TV, i basically missed the whole train.

#at least the fandom is still here so i can still join albeit years late #personal #i would see reaction posts from the time and wonder what it must have been like to witness 2x10 in real time #but then i remembered that 2x10 aired on 1 march 2016 #and in the first week of march 2016 i was asking for extension on my midterm paper so i could work on my grad project draft #and i was asking for extension on my grad project draft so i could work on grad school application #i basically skipped a week's worth of classes just to catch up on essays #even if i had access to abc at the time i would not have had the emotional capacity to compute 210 #which makes me a little less sad about missing out on it being aired #because if i had to process that episode while working on three different essays at the same time #i would never have enjoyed the ep with the kind of depth i do now so #silver linings in clouds i suppose

[ravynfyre]

so many people do not understand that 1) animals are not people, and 2) they aren't teaching their animals what they THINK they are teaching them.

dog group on the book of faces, someone is asking for advice on how to get their dog to come to them after the dog is done relieving itself outside. The dog doesn't like coming to them an they spend ten or twenty minutes or more catching the dog each time to bring it in. Which reminded me of one of many attempts to talk a person through trying to fix exactly this same behavior in *many* other dogs over the years...

Me: So, a quick question for you... does the dog not coming to you and you having to chase them down frustrate you?

Them: Of course!

Me: So what do you do when you finally either catch the dog or get them to come to you?

Them: I give the dog a correction!

Me: So. You get hands on your dog and then you immediately punish them for allowing you to get hands on them. And you wonder why your dog has developed the habit of not coming to you?

Them: No, that's not... I'm punishing them for not coming when I call!

Me: Which was.... fifteen minutes ago, or so, you said?

Them: Yes, when I first called them!

Me: Dogs brains literally cannot link an abstract thought like that. A thought and a consequence MUST happen within 2.4 seconds of one another, or the consequence becomes linked to the most recent behavior, thought, or activity. So, tell me... how is your dog supposed to understand that you punishing them is for the event fifteen minutes ago when you have made such a concerted, if unintentional, effort to teach them that them getting close enough for you to lay hands on them in the yard means an immediate punishment?

Them: But that's not what I *meant*!

Me: Doesn't matter what YOU meant... what THEY learned is that they come to you, and they get punished. Stop punishing your dog for the behavior that you want to see more of.

Stop anthropomorphizing your animals, folks. They don't think like us. Stop setting them - and yourself - up for failure.