#i was talking to my mother and crying about the future and present last night because it felt like the world was ending | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bloodynereid · 7 months

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Reapers & Ravens

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pairings: jordan li x oc

tw: canonical violence and gore, allusions/talk about sex, alcohol and drug consumption and misuse (i don't condone the actions of the characters so remember to drink wisely), A LOT of mentions of death, iffy morals?? - if there are any more pls lmk

description: the story of a girl. a girl cursed by compound v to live a life without touch.

a/n: hiii and welcome to the first chapter of my new fic. I haven't written a multi-chapter fic in a while so be patient with me. some little disclaimers: as of the moment of writing this chapter i have only seen the first 3 eps of gen v so if something doesn't work plot wise with future eps i will try to come back and change it, secondly i do not support chance perdomo's actions - i felt like this needed to be stated cause his character andre will be a prominent part of the story and i would change it but he literally is the only one that really makes sense in his role in vic's backstory. vic's wonderful roommate was created all thanks to one of my mutuals (not sure if you want me to mention you by name) so all credit goes to them for gemma. FINALLY i hope you enjoy! the second chapter should be out soon and i'm always open to feedback so lmk your thoughts either in the comments or in an ask. love you and ty for taking the time to read my fic - my a/n will not be this long all the time i promise.

19 years ago…

A little girl lay peacefully in her wooden cot, the walls surrounding her were painted in a beautiful pastel lilac and a snowflake mobile lay spinning above her little head. The night was serene, the wind rustled the leaves of the great oak outside the girl’s window and a soft lullaby was echoing through the room.

The girl’s mother smiled down at her perfect bundle of joy as she laid the pads of her fingers right against the soft silky skin of her daughter’s hand. Everything was perfect for another few seconds before the mother started to feel herself fade away. She deliriously looked down at her hand where she suddenly saw her skin going gray.

The baby’s eyes flew open and she let out a happy gurgle as her mother started to wither away in front of her just because she held her daughter’s little hand.

“I love you my darling girl.” Were the last words that came out of the mother’s mouth before her soul was taken far far away. Too far for her daughter to follow.

The second that the tingly feeling that the baby experienced faded away she let out a loud cry. Her mama wasn’t moving and she looked all wrong. The little girl cried and cried and cried until finally the door to her nursery flew open.

Her papa filled the doorway as he let out a horrified gasp before kneeling next to his wife. His dead wife.

“Victoria, what have you done?”

Present Day…

I pressed skip to the song playing on my phone and shifted my gaze to the flashing scenery, music resonating through my headphones as I was being driven to Godolkin. It was absolutely insane that I was actually doing it. I was actually going to GodU. The whole situation just felt so unreal. Distantly I heard a voice calling out so with practiced precision I moved my headphones away from my ears.

“Sorry, could you repeat that?”

“Of course Miss. I was just saying that we’re nearly there.”

“Ok thanks Rob.”

I sent him a smile and replaced my headphones before taking a moment to examine my newest pair of gloves, the carefully crafted design on top of the white leather made me smile. Dad didn’t really pay that much attention to me ever since the incident™ but at least he seemed proud of me for getting into GodU. He had gifted me these gloves after stuttering out that they had once belonged to my mother.

I promised myself that I would try to wear them as much as possible since I barely had anything to remember her by anymore… other than the power my parents decided to inject me with. Life-force absorption isn’t all that common, as my relatives put it: ‘those powers… they’re a curse!’

Everything that touches me dies basically. It’s how my mother died and it’s how I kill plants and sometimes people (by accident I swear). I absorb their energy and it sort of works like a drug - I get a shot of life. Other people aren’t so lucky, they slowly turn into a gray statue and die.

Sometimes I’m able to stop before they're totally gone but with the potency of my powers they’re kaput by just 3 seconds of physical touch. I know it sucks, I can’t even shake hands for Christ’s sake!

“Miss? Miss?” I’m shaken out of my string of thoughts when I heard Rob’s voice echoing through the interior of the car.

“Yes yup sorry.” I took off my headphones and quickly shoved them into my canvas bag before looking out the window. There stood Godolkin University, the end goal of all my relentless studying and hard work.

“We have arrived. Are you okay Miss?”

“Yes I’m more than okay Rob. Thanks for driving me.”

“Of course, do you need any help with any of your boxes?” He asked as he unlocked the car and we both stepped out into the warm September air.

“It should be fine but thanks Rob really. I’ll see you at Christmas?”

“Definitely Miss Oaks, have a good semester.” He finished placing your 3 boxes and suitcase onto one of the many trolleys and sent me a smile.

“Thanks.” I gave him a little wave as he got back into the SUV and drove off. Turning to the big metal gates I took a deep breath to steady myself. Time for the start of the rest of my life.

Okay maybe I really should have asked Rob for help with these idiotic boxes. I’m a goddamn super hero. Why was I struggling so much with this? I was already regretting this as I walked past the Lamplighter School for Crimefighting, failing to push both the trolley and my suitcase.

“You look like you need some saving from a gracious prince.” I heard an eerily familiar voice as I looked up from my tortuous task. Andre Anderson. An old friend whose friendship was sort of forced on us by our dads, who happened to have been in the same class at Godolkin.

“Andre! Fucking hell I’m so glad to see you, please help me. I’m dying here.” I said dramatically as I sunk down to the ground next to all my stuff.

“You know you should consider majoring in Performing Arts if you keep up with that.” Andre said with a smirk but he still started to help by pulling my large suitcase towards the freshman dorms.

“Haha. You know I’ll be joining you at Crimefighting, my powers will probably render any makeup artist dead.”

“Oh please become an actress I would love to see that.” I narrowed my eyes at him and lightly punched him in the arm as he took a sip of his latte.

“Hey!”

“You deserved that.”

“Ok maybe I deserved that. So Vic, what are your first impressions?”

“It’s huge for one thing.”

“That’s what she said.” I rolled my eyes at his immature sense of humor before stealing the latte out of his hand and taking a sip, only to scrunch my face.

“What the fuck do you put in this? It’s literally pure sugar.”

“Hangover cure.” He said with a shrug as he stole the latte back. “You should come hang tonight. I can introduce you to everyone.”

“Mmh sure. I think you mean getting me into trouble.”

“When have I ever done something like that before?” Andre asked as his eyes twinkled.

“Oh just about every time I hang out with you.” Stopping in front of the freshman dorm room Andre looked at me and tried to make his usual puppy eyes.

“Please.”

“Fuck fine. You need to stop doing that.”

“Why? It works every single time.”

“I’ll see you later then?”

“Definitely, enjoy being around the freshers.” Andre gave me a military salute making me roll my eyes as I started dragging all my stuff into the building.

Weaving my way through a shitton of supes was way harder than I expected, at least I had a jacket on or a few of them would be very dead right now. Finally and by finally I mean, FINALLY I found my room, I clutched the handle of the door and pushed in when I realized I definitely had the wrong room. Two girls were already all set up in the room and swiveled to look at me weirdly.

“Uh hi? Shit I’m sorry, I'm in the wrong room.”

“Wait! Are you Victoria Oaks?” asked the shorter blonde one.

“Uh yes?”

“Holy shit I follow you on Insta hi! I’m Emma and this is Marie.”

“Oh cool hi.”

“I can’t believe you’re on the same floor as us. Want to go check out the Golden Boy’s workout? We’re going to head down in a few.” Right, okay, I should make friends. So time to compromise.

“Uh sure? What exactly would we be doing?”

“Oh you’ll see.” Emma says with a mischievous smile.

“Righttt that sounds incredibly ominous but I’ll see you in a few. I’ve got to go put down all my stuff.”

“Ok see you!” I smile and retreat back into the busy hallway but not before catching Marie’s remark.

“Who is she exactly?”

“DO YOU LIVE UNDER A ROCK?” Emma replied loudly, making me snort. Taking a deep breath I once again clutch the handle of the door across the hall and push it open to see a girl lying on the bed closest to the door. She smiles up at me and bounds over to the door in an instant.

“Hi! You must be Victoria. I’m Gemma, nice to meet you.” She says before extending her hand. I carefully move my gloved hand over to hers and shake it.

“Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you too.” I took a moment to scan her appearance, she was absolutely stunning. Her red hair trailed down her shoulders and her smile seemed to light up the very room. “You’re so beautiful wow.”

“Aww thank you so much! You are absolutely stunning as well, like this blonde totally suits the whole vibe you give off.”

“Is it a good vibe?”

“Oh definitely.”

“Ok whew I was worried for a second there.” We start laughing and Gemma helps me sort out all my stuff in the huge boxes.

“Actually with the talk about appearances would it be okay if I ever shift into you? I love being able to get to know people more through their faces and stuff but only if you’re cool with it.”

“Shifting? You mean like shape shifting.” I ask as I look over to her curiously, picking up yet another pair of gloves which I placed on one of the shelves in the closet.

“Yup!”

“Oh I wouldn’t mind at all, that's such a cool power!” Her entire face brightened as her hair slowly started to shift and match the shade of my bleached one.

“Brilliant! Thank you. So… what’s your power?”

“Oh umm here let me show you.”

Carefully taking out one of my older plants out of the box I place it on the window sill and pull off my leather glove. Within just a few seconds of my fingertips placed on top of the delicate leaves the plant withered away and died. I could feel the zap of energy encase my being and I smiled. Life absorption feels incredible, it’s so encompassing. You quite literally feel full of life. For a second as I turned around I could see the blood and energy from Gemma’s cell move around her body but I shook off the stupor.

“Wow. Can you just do that with plants or?”

“Uh no people as well. Anything alive that touches my skin just dies.”

“So you can’t do human contact?”

“Nope, unless I want them dead.”

“What about sex?” I chuckled at her slightly incredulous tone.

“I think you need to reevaluate what you consider sex.”

“Oh okay wow” Gemma laughed and we continued to set up my plants on the windowsill and chatted about our favorite movies, surprisingly enough we had pretty different tastes but there were a few that we had in common - like our love for Clue. That was when we heard a knock on the door, Gemma looked at me with a clear question in her eyes.

“I met our dorm neighbors a few minutes ago and they invited me to go see Golden Boy train.”

“Ooo I’m so coming with you.” Gemma shifted her hair back to red and waltzed over to open the door as I finished placing my last plant pots.

“What’s the deal with his workout sessions anyway?” I ask as she pulls open the door to find Emma and Marie standing sort of awkwardly outside.

“Oh he’s like super hung, and when he blazes up his clothes all melt away.” Emma answers my question but when she catches sight of Gemma her jaw drops.

“Right, uh Marie and Emma meet my roommate Gemma.”

“Holy fuck you’re so hot.” Emma says, almost as if the words involuntarily jump out of her mouth.

“Why thank you, love, you are as well.” Gemma flashes her a dazzling smile.

“Alright then enough flirting. I have been promised to see some hot supes. Let’s go!” I exclaim as the little group makes their way towards the arena. Hanging back so I was walking next to Marie, we watched the two girls flirt.

“Oh that’s going to be very interesting. I don’t believe we’ve talked much yet, but I’m Vic. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. Emma gave me a full on lecture on why I should know who you are but I kind of zoned out halfway through.” I let out a laugh at her admission and gently nudged my shoulder with hers.

“Oh don’t worry, it’s kind of nice having someone who has no idea who I am or who my dad is.”

“I’m glad, everything is so…”

“A lot, I know. My dad homeschooled me for the last few years of high school so being among this many people, especially supes can be overwhelming. If you ever need to chat or just need someone to hang out with, I'm your girl.” Marie gave me a grateful smile, “So what are your supe powers?”

“Blood manipulation.” My eyebrows shot up and I looked at her with astonishment.

“Holy fuck that’s awesome. I basically drain the life force of any living being.”

“Really?”

“Yup so don’t touch my skin unless you’re covered up.” I throw up jazz hands to showcase my gloved hands which elicits a short laugh out of Marie.

“Got it. You’re really nice by the way. Everyone here seems so like aggressively in your face.”

“Yeah I know. I’ve had to live around supes my whole life, it really isn’t at all like Vought or the movies say.”

We finally arrive at the arena and I take a seat next to her, Emma is sitting next to Marie and Gemma is still trying and succeeding at flirting with the blonde. Leaning over the railing I peer out into the main arena and spy Andre making his rounds with the group.

“Yo Andre.” I scream out into the stadium making him turn around, trying to find me in the crowd. The people seated around us had now turned to look at me as I smiled down at him. He smiled back and tilted his head towards where Golden Boy and some other dude were gearing up to fight, inviting me to come down.

“You sure?”

“Yeah get down here.” I turn towards my new group of friends and say: “You guys okay if I go down?”

“Since when do you know Andre Anderson? You know what don’t answer that question go, go, go. Tell us everything when you get back.” Gemma and Emma urged me out of my seat as Marie kind of sat there awkwardly but with an encouraging smile on her face.

I carefully picked my way down the stands and vaulted over the fence to get over to the sidelines of the fight. I poke at Andre’s shoulder as I fall in next to him as I watch the fight playing out. Golden Boy was obviously winning and wow Luke Riordan really had some moves.

“Oh hey Vic. It’s earlier than I expected to see you.”

“Well I did want to honor you with my presence more than once today.” I sent him a sarcastic smile which made him respond by pushing my shoulder.

“Wow Andre I can’t believe you have more friends than us, I feel betrayed.” I turned to the source of the voice and there stood a beautiful blonde, who had a big smile on her face. Little butterflies exploded in my stomach - how was everyone so damn attractive?

“Cate, darling, I hate to break this to you like this but I have a lot more friends than just you guys.”

“Oh how will I live knowing this information?” Cate said with a dramatic gasp and pretended to faint into Andre’s arms. He just pushed her up and they stuck out their tongues at each other.

“You guys are going to be perfect for each other. Cate Dunlap meet Victoria Oaks.”

“Hi! Nice to meet you.” I say as I extend a gloved hand only to be met with a similarly gloved hand, only that it was covered in brown leather instead of white.

“Oh my god, your gloves! I love these designs, you have got to tell me where you get yours. My collection needs adding to.” She says excitedly as she quickly shakes my hand and turns it over to inspect the handiwork. We continue to nerd out about gloves as the fight finishes and Andre throws Golden Boy some clothes, before they head over to us.

“Hi sweetheart you did great out there,” Cate throws her arms around him and they make out for a few seconds as I kind stand there awkwardly with Andre.

“Do they usually do this?”

“Yes. There is so much PDA I’m surprised they haven’t had sex in front of us yet.” Andre’s voice was raised in volume a little at the end which caught the attention of the couple.

“Oh right, Luke meet my new best friend, this is Vic.” Cate said as fixed her now slightly messed up lipstick.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you Vic. Andre has told us a lot about you.”

I cringed but shook my head trying to forget about the many instances the idiot had nearly gotten us arrested and the one time he did.

“Yeah well, I hope it’s all nice things because any time I do spend with this guy somehow ends with us breaking a law.”

“Oh we can relate. I remember this one time…” We started making our way out of the arena as Luke started to recount one of the insane adventures that Andre managed to string them into. It felt nice to actually be part of a group again and it was easy. Way easier that I thought it would be.

After a few hours of touring the grounds and eating at Vought-a-Burger, I finally trudged back to my dorm absolutely exhausted. Not that it wasn’t great getting to know Cate, Andre and Luke but the whole day had absolutely drained me.

When I finally opened the door to my room I was surprised to find Emma sitting on top of Gemma’s bed reading some random fashion magazine.

“Uh Emma?”

The girl basically jumped out of her position on the bed and whirled to face me. Suddenly her entire body shifted and there stood Gemma, looking rather embarrassed with a sheepish smile on her face.

“Look, I asked her if I could change into her body! This wasn’t without consent and she’s just so stunning and it’s the-”

“Hey hey, Gem. Chill, I get it, you have a crush on our neighbor.” I smiled a little teasingly as I tried to reassure her. Thankfully Gemma’s panicked look faded and was replaced with a grateful smile.

“Sorry.”

“It’s all good, you guys would look great together.”

“Do you think that Emma might actually like me?”

“Oh Gem, I think anyone would be lucky to have you. From the few hours that I’ve known you, you're genuinely one of the sweetest people out there. And that’s saying something cause you’re also a supe.” I gave her a small smile before opening up my arms to signal for her to hug me. She flew into my grasp and I was careful not to let my exposed face anywhere near her.

“Thanks I needed this.”

“Hey I’m here anytime, just don't touch any skin.” I sent her a teasing smile when she finally pulled away. “How about we have a chill night in? There’s this new show I’ve been meaning to start.”

“Great! We can have our first girl’s night.”

“Fuck yeah! I’ll just get changed into my pajamas and grab some of my snacks from the stash.”

After spending the night doing absolutely nothing except watching Yellowjackets and raiding snacks from the vending machine after my relatively large stash ran out, Gemma and I woke up sugar hungover. Somehow we managed to make it down to the cafe and bought some coffee, which was thankfully enough to wake us up.

“So you heading over to Performing Arts?” I finally asked Gemma after the caffeine started to kick in.

“Yeah, Marie and Emma said they were going to meet me there as well so…”

“Can you believe we’re actually doing this?” I ask as we slowly walk out onto the common, I readjust my favorite pair of black gloves, knowing that if we were doing any sort of combat sessions at Crimefighting I would probably end up damaging my mom’s ones.

“Nope, it’s still surreal that I actually got accepted.”

“What are you talking about? You literally have some of the most interesting and versatile powers.”

“Yeah but I’m on scholarship, if that somehow falls through…” I smiled at her reassuringly as we stopped at the fork in the walk.

“Look you’re super fucking smart and you have more control over your power than most of the supes I know. Gem, you’re going to be great and never let anyone tell you otherwise.” Gemma smiled at me after she thanked me and we both went our separate ways - time to see what orientation was going to be like.

I navigated through the slew of students making their way through the halls of the Lamplighter School for Crimefighting when I suddenly bumped into someone. Thank whatever entity out there that I had just thrown out the remainder of my iced coffee.

“Shit sorry- Oh.” I caught the eye of the person I had bumped into as I helped them gather the assortment of books, all Brink’s for the looks of it.

“Right yeah, it’s fine just be more careful next time.” The person just kind of ran off after I helped them with the books. Strange and kind of rude but also so very attractive. I smiled at myself, if bumping into people meant getting to meet more enticing supes then this year was going to be incredible.

“Hey! Hey! Victoria. Vic. Vicky.” I finally stopped and turned to look at Andre who had been relentlessly pursuing me for the past few minutes. Orientation went well and I got to meet some of the other supes - mostly it was just for selfies but still.

“You know I hate when people call me that.”

“Well it was a last resort, you weren’t stopping.”

“You don’t think there may have been a reason behind that? Maybe my dad is dying and this is the last chance I get to hear his voice.” I remarked in an overly bored tone, I could already tell from Andre’s whole face that he was about to invite me to do something illegal… again.

“I know for a fact that isn’t real since it hasn’t been on any gossip sites-”

“Wait since when do you frequent gossip sites?” I ask incredulously as he somehow starts to lead me towards the opposite direction I was going in the first place.

“Not the point. You’re coming out with us tonight.”

“Do I get a say in the matter or?”

“Nope, go get changed into something hot and meet me in front of Lamplighter in half an hour.”

“Excuse you, but I always look hot. Thank you very much.” I say scoffing but we both know I’m silently agreeing with his plans - like always.

“Oh I know darling. Now hurry up.” He pushed me softly (as softly as a supe could push someone) and I made my way to my dorm.

“Hey Gem. Good day?” I said as I threw my bag on the bed and started to look through my outfits, I needed something that would cover all exposed skin - I really didn’t need another incidental death on my roster.

“Yup! We really should plan out more ways to- wait what are you looking for?”

“Andre invited me out with his friends you’re welcome to come if you want.”

“Nope it’s okay. I’ve got some auditions I need to tape.” She said with a smile.

“You sure?”

“Yeah I’m not really in the mood for partying tonight, orientation was a lot.”

“Tell me about it. You can use my bedroom if you need any extra space by the way.” I shouted out from behind the wall as I laid out the different materials that made up my outfits - it was a mismatch of blacks, whites and reds. Cute.

“Thank you! Holy shit you look fucking incredible.” Gemma remarked as I walked back into her bedroom now wearing my going out outfit.

“Why thank you. I haven’t been out clubbing for a while so I thought it would be best to go big.”

“Always the best choice. Make sure you don’t get too smashed okay?”

“I will try. Byeee.” Her laughter echoes into the hallway and the door shuts behind me. I flash the security guard a smile before leaving the freshman dorm building and making my way to the Crimefighting school.

“Oh god please don’t tell me Andre has dragged you into one of his schemes.” I say when I catch sight of Marie standing next to Cate, Luke, Andre and someone I had a vague inkling that I’ve met before.

“Vic! You came!” Cate smiled and pulled me into a little hug when I was close enough to the group.

“Hi guys.” I said with a smile before turning to the stranger of the group. “I don’t believe we’ve met yet, I’m Victoria.”

“We have actually, I’m Jordan. You bumped into me this morning.” A giddy smile slowly spread out over my face.

“Oh right, you were the hot and mysterious person I nearly killed this morning. Pleasure to meet you.” A dusting of blush appeared on their face and we held eye contact which was annoyingly broken by Andre’s screech of:

“You nearly killed someone AGAIN?”

“Ok dude chill it really wasn’t that bad.” I roll my eyes at his antics and thankfully the exchange gets interrupted by Luke.

“Come on, we don't want to be late.” Luke said after removing his arms from around Cate and heading over to the driver’s seat. Andre makes a whole thing of opening up the passenger seat for Kate and I get into the back seat with Jordan sliding in next to me.

The entire car ride was spent awkwardly avoiding whatever feud Jordan and Marie had going one and trying to get everyone better. Cate and I talked more about our glove choices, mine were black with a red heart detail and hers were stunningly sculpted brown ones. The playlist was (thankfully) controlled by Jordan, which ended up with music that could have been stolen from my own playlist.

When we finally got to our first destination, my jaw dropped - I had only been to Seven tower a handful of times. Mostly to deal with lawsuits from accidental deaths, there were surprisingly few of them for the amount of death that seemed to follow me everywhere. Luke and Cate managed to get us up on the roof, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Homelander could literally hear us up here. Better not to think about that.

So I took a hit of coke after Andre passed me his little vial - drugs were a way to kind of quell the murderous impulses my power demanded plus they were fun to do when around friends. Doing coke alone does not have the same effect - trust me.

“Hell yes! I forgot you did this stuff.” Andre said as I spied Luke wandering off to talk to Marie.

“Eh sometimes. I usually stick to weed or shrooms. The harder stuff messes with this whole thing when I’m hungover.” I said as I raised my hands to try and illustrate my point, wow okay this was strong stuff. I could quite literally already feel the haze starting to form around my brain.

“What exactly is your power anyway?” Jordan asked as we continued to do some more bumps.

“Oh well basically everything I touch dies.”

“So your skin is poisonous?”

“No, I absorb energy or rather life force. Here.” I wander over to one of the randomly placed potted plants and take off my glove, only to place my fingers on the red petals. The plant started to shrivel up and die about a second later.

“Awesome.” We were both clearly starting to feel the effects of the coke. We started to laugh as we made our way back to the main group.

The next stop on our little unsanctioned outing was some fancy club that Andre had been raving about the entire drive over there from the tower. I lean against one of the golden walls as I watch Cate do her thing.

“We don’t have one but you don’t give a fuck. Right?”

“I do not give a fuck.” The doorman leads us straight into the club and I smile widely at Cate.

“You are such a fucking badass.”

“I know.”

After getting some much needed drinks I lean back against the red seats and stretch out my arms. This many people were making me antsy and drugs and alcohol can only settle so much of my power.

“So yeah, basically this fucking idiot decided we should have a lightsaber duel in the middle of Grand Central and someone must have called the cops cause they randomly pulled up and we were arrested for ‘disrupting the peace’.”

The entire group burst out laughing and one of the many stories I had from when Andre and I would hang out as teens - we sort of drifted ever since he got to GodU but it felt just like old times.

“Alright, alright, enough embarrassing stories about our arrests. You guys in?” Andre asks as he holds up a bag of Molly and Jordan snatches it from his hold.

“Is that cocaine?”

“Nah we finished all the coke. It’s Molly. Vic?”

“Ooo yes please.” Jordan smiles charmingly and passes the little bag over to me.

“Hey I don’t really fuck with powder. But I do microdose shrooms.” Luke says with an almost triumphant tone as he also pulls out another bag.

“Hey where do you get yours from? I need a good dealer now that I’ve moved from LA.” I ask Luke before passing the bag containing Molly back to Andre.

“I’ll send you my guy’s number.”

“Thanks man.”

“So, what do you say, freshman?”

“Uh-”

“Hey Marie, you don’t have to - we are not trying to peer pressure you but… it’ll be funnn.” I smile widely and wiggle my eyebrows making her laugh, Cate also joins in on my teasing and she relents.

“Yes, let's go Marie.”

“Whooo. Come on, let's dance.”

That’s when I suddenly feel a little part of me sober up, fuck. It was a bad memory - the last time I danced was homecoming. A really sweet guy had asked me out and of course I had said yes. It was one accidental touch of my cheek against his and a few seconds later he laid dead in the middle of the dance floor. I ended up changing to homeschool after that whole incident, there had been issues across the years but overall this was one of the worst.

“Vic?” I shake out of my stupor as I look up at Cate extending her hand in invitation.

“Nah I don’t dance.” She must have seen something in my eyes cause she smiled softly and retracted her hand.

“Ok, just know you’re missing out on a great time.” She pulled Marie off towards the dance floor and I took a sip of the whiskey I had ordered.

“Any reason you’re not dancing out there? I remember all those clubs we sneaked into and you fucking killed it everytime.” Andre asked as he leaned back against the cushions.

“Andre, darling, that’s not proper club conversation. I’m going to go get another drink, you guys want anything?”

“I’ll come with you.” Jordan exclaimed as they sprang up from his seat and started following me towards the bar. I could quite literally feel the smirk that Andre and Luke had on their faces. Suddenly I heard a small pop next to me and I turned to see that Justin had shifted.

“You want anything specific?” I asked with a slight tilt of my head.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Wise choice.” I winked at them and leaned over to wave to the bartender. He, obviously trying to flirt, ended up giving us a bunch of free vodka shots and 2 whiskies, the top shelf stuff.

“So how are you liking GodU so far?”

“It’s greatish. There’s so many bloody supes.” Jordan just raised their eyebrows at me as she helped me carry over the drinks.

“Oh I definitely know what you’re talking about. Have you met Rufus yet?”

“No?” I look at them in question and she looks at me with relief.

“Pray that you don’t.” We dissolved into laughter for a second time that night and finally set our drinks down at the booth.

“Well don’t you two look cozy.” Luke remarked.

“You changed? Why?”

“Cause I fucking felt like it. And more free drinks.”

“Here here.” Luke agreed as we each held up a vodka shot.

“To the Seven.”

“No way.” I look at Luke in minor awe, he actually got a place in the motherfucking Seven.

“I literally just told you.”

“Yeah well you do know that I’m an open book, plus you have to invite me to the tower sometime. I crush so hard on A-train… imagine that man in bed.”

“And that is exactly why he won’t be inviting you.” I added after taking my shot.

“It’s the least surprising surprise ever but congrats. You deserve it. When are you leaving?”

“More like when do you get to be number one?”

“Please, the trustees think I’m too confusing. I’ll never get number one.”

“They put you in the orientation video.”

“Yeah so they can suck their own dicks about how progressive they are.”

I listen to each of them debating the merits and the downsides (mostly Andre) of getting ranked number one when I start to feel it. Goddammit. Every life force around me seemed to pulse. I could see literal life running through each person’s veins and the conversation started to grow further and further away.

Quickly fishing in the pocket of my jacket I pulled out a few tablets of the experimental drug Vought was testing out on well… just me. I place one of the cylindrical neon green pills on my tongue and wash it back with another shot of vodka. A few seconds later everything went back to normal and I watched Luke and Andre have a whole bro moment. It was actually quite touching.

“By the way I forgot to mention but you’ve looked so fucking hot tonight.” Jordan turned to look at me with a slight smirk on their face.

“Oh you haven’t seen anything yet.” She winked and I felt a blush start to color my cheeks. Okay game on baby.

We all end up dispersing after a while and I start walking around all the warm bodies, being extra careful to avoid my face touching anyone’s exposed skin. That was extra hard when you’re in a club so I decided to just take a step out onto the balcony. Spying through the doors, I took in breaths of sobering air and watched as Jordan easily flirted with a group of girls.

Fuck Vought and fuck my dad for this stupid power. I turned towards the ivy growing over the balcony railing and without a second thought I ripped off my gloves and pressed my palms to the stems.

Life thrummed through my veins, I sucked it in deeper and deeper until I finally reached the roots of the ivy. I felt them start to rot away and die as my power crept into every crevice and cell. Stealing away vitality. Suddenly I was wrenched away from my ivy killing by high pitched screaming. I leave for a single second…

Quickly pulling on my gloves I looked into the chaos that was created over a woman’s body whose throat was punctured by a tiny metal hummingbird. Andre you fucking idiot.

Calculating how to get out of the club without actually having to go through the chaos I saw a few window sills that would easily get me close enough to the fire escape on the next building.

Using my supe strength I jumped between each sill until I was near the fire escape. Taking a few deep breaths in and out I jumped and let gravity take over. It was a few seconds of bliss before my entire body slammed against the hard metal railing with a resounding bang. Goddamit sometimes I wish that I got pain tolerance when I was injected with V.

The next few steps down were easy and I was able to get to street level and disappear into the night without getting noticed. My phone dinged as I started putting on my headphones and I looked down to find that I had been added to a group chat:

(possibly Cate Dunlap): vic you good?

you sort of disappeared

we’re on our way back to GodU.

Me: yup all good

god Andre u need to be more careful.

A.A.: u don’t think I know that

u need us to pick u up?

Me: that would be appreciated

*you have now enabled geotracker with the group*

(possibly Jordan Li): see you in a bit!

Waking up after a night out was a bitch. Carefully maneuvering out of bed without activating my headache too much was even more of a challenge.

“You good there?” I heard a shout loud enough to rattle my very soul reverberating through the room.

“Fuck Gemma a little quieter please.” Her laugh twinkled in the air but even it's usually nice sound zapped my brain.

“I thought supes didn’t get hangovers.”

“Yeah they don’t- it was all the people.” And the experimental Vought pill I felt like saying.

“Oh shit yeah sorry.”

“Right, I'm going to have a shower.” Gingerly grabbing my shower essentials I picked my way through the already busy hall. Communal showers sucked.

Thankfully, 3 coffees later I finally started to feel a little more like myself. Andre had made me promise last night that I would have to help him with some power drink promotion. So off to commons I went, the sun seemed to burn my eyelids so a pair of slim blue lenses adorned my face. The shade perfectly matched my gloves.

What I didn’t expect to find outside the school of crimefighting was Luke. Completely flamed out and Andre stepped closer and closer to him. My eyes widened and I started running - the blue gloves were torn off and I nearly collided with Marie when Luke (thank the universe) stopped flaming out.

“What… Marie, what is going on?”

“I- I found him murdering Brink.” If my eyes widened any further I was pretty sure my eyeballs would quite literally jump out of my head.

“WHAT?” I turned towards Luke again to find that he had started walking away from Andre, muttering apologies under his breath. I could identify that crazed look in his eyes. He knew he was cornered and he didn’t want to run anymore.

Luke started flaming out and suddenly flew up into the sky… only to make himself completely explode. Blood, guts, muscle, bones and brains started raining down.

The ‘materials’ that managed to touch my uncovered face and hands thrummed with power. That was strange. It was as if they were still alive somehow. The cells oozed energy.

My power started to immediately absorb whatever life-force the cells had remaining and then I felt a foreign kind of ache. It felt like a cold burn spreading all over my hands and my face, bringing my palm up to my face. I was surprised to see a tiny flame start to sputter on.

What the actual fuck?

did you know that human cells can stay alive for hours and sometimes even days after you die? so yes the ending makes sense - I did research. also Vic has never "absorbed" another supe before - her mom was human.... so we shall see how that affects her hehe.

if you want to be added to the taglist lmk!!

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anangelwhodidntfall · 11 months

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tonowarixreader plsss😍😍😍

Only Want You: Tonowari

You had finished teaching your classes for the day and were in your mauri preparing to rest a little bit before dinner tonight. You were getting ready to shut the flap to your mauri when your best friend and crush Tonowari came bursting through it making you shocked to see him.

"What happened to hello? Can I come in?" You asked him as he helped you shut the flap to your mauri.

"I'm sorry, I just needed a break from them. I can go anywhere on this island without someone throwing themselves at me in hopes that I'll choose them as my mate." He said.

"You do know that your mother knows you hide here? She could just tell them, that you are hiding here and then I will have all those people here bombarding my mauri." You said rolling your eyes.

"I highly doubt she will, she doesn't even like half of them anyways. I'm sorry for just showing up like this, you were the only one I knew that would understand." He said squeezing your hands.

"It's fine. I was just about to take a nap before dinner since the kids wore me out today. But you are welcome to stay here as long as your need." You said to him.

"A nap does sound pretty nice right now, Do you mind if I join you?" He asked you.

You patted the spot next to you and soon enough you could feel his warm body against you before he wrapped his arm around you making you silently smile. You knew that Tonowari would never see you the way that you saw him which was okay, so you just took these moments when you could.

"Where is that boy?" Tonowari's mom asked searching all around for him until her eyes landed on your mauri.

She walked over and gently peeked her head in and smiled when she saw you two sound asleep in each other's arms. She had always liked you and thought you were perfect for her son and that's why she was going to push him to look at you differently because you two may not see it but she could tell that you both cared for each other on a deeper level than friends.

It was a few hours later, and you were off talking and laughing with your friends while Tonowari watched you with a small smile. Your laugh was one of Tonowari's favorite things about you, he had developed a crush on you as you two got older which is why he was having such a good time choosing a mate because the only one he wanted as a mate was you.

"My son, may I offer some wisdom on the whole mate situation?" His mom asked snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Ma...." He said not wanting to have this conversation.

"Just listen for a minute......Have you thought about choosing y/n?" She asked shocking him.

"Ma she doesn't like me like that." He said.

"Oh, how wrong you are my son. I see the way you both look at each other and plus y/n would be a great tsahik, everyone in the clan loves her." She said as Tonowari processed her words.

"Just think about it." She said squeezing his shoulders before leaving.

That night Tonowari, laid there thinking about what his mom had said about you and that's when he had decided that he would present you with the courting gift that he had made for all those years and tell you the truth about how he really felt and prayed that his mom was right about you liking him.

The next day you were out for a walk along the beach when one of the villagers told you that Tonowari requested to see you in his Mauri, making you a little confused as you followed them over to his tent wondering what he needed.

"What's going on Tonowari?" You asked as he shut the flap to his mauri.

"I have finally chosen a mate." He said making your heart drop.

"You have? That's great, who is the lucky girl?" You asked him as you tried not to cry.

"It's you." He said making you confused.

"What?" You asked.

"Y/n you are the only one I have ever wanted or seen a future with, I'm sorry it took me so long to accept my feelings. I was just scared that you didn't feel the same way and it wasn't until my mother said something last night at dinner that I realized them. You have always been by my side supporting me and my dreams even before I was chosen as the next Olo'eyktan, you've always been there for me and have always seen me. Y/n I would feel so honored and lucky to have you as my mate, if you choose to accept me that is." He said as the tears fell down your face.

"Yes I accept you, You don't know how long I have waited and hoped that you would say that to me." You said wrapping your arms around him.

"I made this for you a few years ago when the idea of a mate was first brought up to us, I only ever saw you as my mate." He said handing you a necklace.

"I love it, will you put it on me?" You asked him.

After putting your necklace on, you turned around and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

#atwow tonowari #tonowari x you #tonowari x reader #tonowari #tonowari x y/n #tonowari fic

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lunarmoonanons · 1 year

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Yandere Husbands prt 2

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕

Second and final part. Now I don’t know anything about most of these characters since I’m not a book reader, so I won’t be doing Doran, Arthur, or Gerald.

🌕 🌖 🌗 🌘 🌑 🌒 🌓 🌔 🌕

Aeys 2

x sister reader

YN was the twin of Rhaella Targaryen, but unlike her twin she and Aerys had gotten along quite well. She’d read to him as he practiced his sword stances, he’d talk on and on about his aspirations to be knighted, and they’d dream about their futures. YN did also get along with her twin Rhaella, the two having nothing but good things to say about the other. Rhaella was the one to tell her first about her love for Ser Bonifer Hasty, YN was certain that if they asked their grandfather he’d allow her to marry her love. But it wasn’t to last, as their father believed that the prince who was promised would come from Aerys and Rhaella’s line. Aerys protested, demanding that he instead marry YN and they at least liked each other. YN held her twin in her arms as Rhaella sobbed, her own heart slightly breaking. But she complied, they all did. Stefan and Tywin offered sympathies but insisted they must all do their duty. The wedding was a somber affair.

After the disaster at Summerhall and the birth of her nephew Rhaegar, Aerys approached YN. Saying that he still loved her and wanted to be with her, but YN pushed him away. He was married to her twin and she would not cause undue humiliation to her sister by indulging in his desires, and besides she was betrothed to a dornish prince. Finishing off her rejection with “You have an heir now, let me go to have children.” But he would not. One day, Rhaella was found dead in her chambers, her baby crying out for its mother. YN suspected poison but had no proof. When the question of marriage came up, Aerys demanded his father marry his sister to him. It wasn’t until 262ac, when their father died did Aerys get his wish. Despite the protests from Tywin, Nobles, and YN.

As king no one would deny him. YN was afraid of her brother now, doing her best to watch over her nephew, now stepson, for her sister Rhaella. The law by Queen Alysanne years ago made it so that the heirs from the first marriage would not be disinherited by the second marriage. For the first years of his reign Aerys had the sense to listen to his hand. YN was grateful for Tywin, being able to be the realist to Aerys grand plans and ambitions. Yet as the years went on, Aerys started to grow irritated at the sight of his wife being friendly with his hand. When YN was finally deemed pregnant, Aerys' paranoia grew. He wanted a healthy child. So he isolated YN from everyone, never letting her see the mistresses he took. One tried to slap away the moon tea offered, and Aerys strangled the woman to death. Eventually, Aerys' paranoia became very apparent. He was cocky and began to disregard advice from everyone, even YN. After her pregnancy, YN had given birth to a pale little boy Viserys lll, and he found himself in her bedroom not caring if she wanted it or not. YN’s nephew Rhaegar tried to defend her, but Aerys would slap the boy away. By the time Duskendale was stirring trouble, YN was forced to birth 5 children. Three of which were miscarried due to Aerys rough behavior with her. Tywin tried to step in once but backed away. YN was always grateful for him, but in the end there was nothing that could stop Aerys from having her. One morning after Aerys had been on top of her all night, he mentioned he was going to duskendale YN tried to say that it was a bad idea, but had unknowingly mentioned Tywin. She was met with a slap, he held her hair tight and kissed her hard.

“You are my sweet sister. If you mention his name again, I’ll have his burnt corpse presented to our children as a warning not to get between us.” YN hoped he would die in Duskendale.

Cregan Stark

(velaryon reader, just imagine maybe Laenor was able to do it once, so YN is the fraternal twin of Jaec)

Usually First Men descendants did not marry non first men, but Cregan wanted no one but the daughter of the princess. YN was the twin sister to Jaecerys Velaryon, unlike her brother she had darker skin and white hair. Cregan was enamored with the girl, but her beauty was only one layer. She also had a mouth on her, and could beat him at his own drinking games. After a month of bonding the boys swore an oath of brotherhood. Cregan and YN met under the weirwood tree, swearing love vows to each other. When it came to the issue of allegiance to The Queen, Rhaenyra, Cregan swore to her on condition that YN stay with him and one day marry him. Jaecerys and YN seemed to agree, as long as YN could do her part for her mother in the war. Her dragon Alaxys was eager to fly in the air.

During the Dance, YN flew point with her brother, and always returned back to the north. She seemed to like the cold more than the warm south. Her betrothed Cregan was always happy to have her back in her arms. He denied her almost nothing, except when she wanted to fight in the Battle of the Gullet and fly to Kings landing for her mother. Cregan had said no, practically holding her down when she ran for her dragon. He could not lose her. When she fought him, vowing that if he stopped her she’d hate him forever. At that he locked her in the warmest room, sitting outside the room hearing her sob and scream in agony. When the news of her brother's death came, YN screamed at Cregan calling him a traitor and a monster. But the death of her mother broke her, she became cold and angry. Stating to Cregan that she wanted to honor her oath, he was already planning to honor the north’s promise and took his betrothed south.

The hour of the wolf began with Alaxys landing in Kings landing with YN and Cregan on her back. The north remembered and the dragon burned with fury. Cregan spared no traitors, for the oath he held and for the love he had for his betrothed. YN was by her little brother’s side as Cregan delivered her vengeance. Alaxys burned the ones YN deemed deserving, Cregan took rest’s heads. When the hour of the wolf ended, YN was hesitant to leave her brother. Cregan reminded her of her vow to him, that they were fire and ice destined to be. She tried to reason that her brother needed her counsel as he was still a child, but his fingers dug deep into her arms. Vowing that he held no mercy for those who broke their oath. With much resistance, Cregan took her back to the north. Alaxys had spent so much time in the cold that she did not feel comfortable in the warmth of the south. They were married as soon as they returned north. It was a tumultuous marriage, full of love and fights. Sometimes YN would blame him for the death of her family, stating that he prevented her from saving them. He would lock her away in their rooms during those times. Eventually Cregan would not let others see her. They even had to fly together, as YN was not allowed to be in the air alone. Cregan enveloped her whole life, but the north remembered their vow of love, and he would not let her break it. She was bound to ice.

Rickard Stark

(Now I don’t know much about him other than the wiki stuff so please be kind)

YN did not notice the possession Rickard had for her. They were happily married for a long time, she gave him several children. During the time of Aerys ii reign, YN grew more fearful of the south. Not trusting that the Targaryens would keep away from the north. Her fears were proven to be true when the prince had stolen their daughter Lyanna. She begged her son Brandon not to venture south to retrieve her, but he was a Stark and he was loyal. The news of her son's imprisonment caused a great fury in her. The King in response, asked for her to come to the south.

Rickard wouldn’t let her go alone, so he placed the maester in charge as they both traveled down south. Once at the red keep, Rickard kept to the shadows as YN pleaded for the release of her children. The king put on the image of listening, but instead just stared at her body. He requested to meet her later in his office chambers, against her better judgment she did. Her husband hid in the shadows the whole time.

As soon as Aerys inevitably moved to assault her, Rickard emerged from the shadows and cut him down. The shocked shouts of his wife were drowned by his fury as he repeatedly brought the sword down onto his body. Damn his honor, his wife needed defending. YN tried to pull him off, but he pushed her away. When the king was unrecognizable, Rickard turned his blood soaked face to YN. She stepped back as he stepped forward, eventually she hit the bed shaking as he towered over her. He took on that bed, his own mad eyes shone with lusty glee. Adrenaline drowning out YN’s cries. He would be her king forever.

Eddard Stark

YN was Ned’s Second wife. Catelyn had passed giving birth to Sansa. YN was Ned’s first love, even if she did not view him that way. Her place was in Starfall, in the warmth of the south. But when Ned asked for her hand and YN refused, he locked them both in her room. He never laid a hand to her, but he went on and on about how she was abandoning him. That his children already had to grow without a birth mother, was she that cruel to deny them a second chance. He would have none but her, and if she would not have him then he would die. Did she want that? For his children to be fatherless as well? For him to die?

YN was broken down to eventually agree. So she was taken from her home to the cold north. She wanted to meet the children first but Ned spirited her away to their shared room. Not wasting any time to bed his lady. Once he was certain she was to carry his seed, he allowed her to leave the room. The children seemed uneasy around her at first, but her calming nature was like a balm to their grief. Unlike Catelyn before her, YN also included Jon in all her activities with the children. Of all the children Jon grew the closest. He looked so much like Ned, that Ned would seem overjoyed that the two were bonded.

Eventually YN got pregnant, the baby draining so much energy from her. But little Arya was so worth the wait. YN thought that since the baby girl drained her so she could rest a bit before another. But Ned wouldn’t have that. He wanted her pregnant almost always. After Rickon, YN begged to be given rest but he called her heartless to deny her children siblings. That she was preventing new life from being born. YN’s life mostly consisted of being pregnant and barefoot. When the King arrived to call for Ned, YN hoped he would take a position as Hand but he denied him. The queen pitied YN, and mused to herself that maybe her marriage was not as bad. Pregnancy after Pregnancy, YN Dayne was exhausted out of life.

Stannis Baratheon

(I’m not a fan of this guy so don’t expect much)

YN was married to a much older man. Stannis had already had a child, so YN believed she was in the clear for having children. But his red priestess told the would be king that their child would be a champion of light. One night YN was met with the image of her towering husband. SHe tried to ask him to leave, but Stannis grabbed her and forced her on the bed. Telling her it would be alright, that their child would be a champion, all the while ignoring her cried to stop. When it was over he rubbed her stomach and promised that their baby would be stronger than him.

Oberyn Martell

YN did not believe that a her, a Lannister, would be betrothed to Oberyn Martell. A staunch lannister hater, and a sexual fiend if you asked her mother. But her uncle was Tywin, and he had final say in the family. So she was sent south.

Oberyn promised that he would be a gentle husband. That he did not blame her for the actions of her uncle, but the stares of the others could not calm her fears. It was like they either pitied her for her situation, or only glared at her blonde hair. Oberyn's children all flocked to her, sweet and kind little things. YN decided to make her situation as best as she could. Her husband had copious lovers, maybe she could find one. She tried to tell Oberyn.

“If you wish to be false to me, I will kill any man or woman who looks your way.” He whispered to her, holding her shaking body. “You are mine now. If you want me to get rid of my infidelity, fine. But I will not let another Lannister bring pain to me. Even If I loved them.”

Tag list:

@gulnarsultan

#house targaryen #house stark #house baratheon #house martell #aerys 2 #yandere aerys ii #yandere cregan #yandere ned #yandere stannis #yandere oberyn #game of thrones #game of thrones x reader #yandere game of thrones #asoiaf #yandere

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dallonwrites · 5 months

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UNTIL HEAVEN - WIP INTRO

matthew lejune / @dallonwrites / ocean vuong / mary ruefle

He knows that his headache is quietly growing vicious and he should take off his headphones, but now they’re singing about Heaven and Las Vegas – two places he has never been – and he knows that at some point, still unknown to him, his father died, and maybe that means he’s now stuck in Heaven or Las Vegas or somewhere in between. Or maybe that means he’ll just be everywhere, in the rain on Felix’s face and the ache behind his eyelids, and that’s how it’ll stay.

Genre: Adult Literary Fiction, novella (please god stay a novella)

Setting: San Francisco/New York, December 1990/January 1991

Vibe: shoegaze & dream pop, warm lighting, ginger flavor, a city skyline at night, going to church for the first time in years, feeling too old and also like you were born yesterday, disposable camera photos, the passing of time, stuff rabbit toy from your childhood, the hallway at a family gathering, planetariums, cold air on your face, retro christmas decor, realising you were once a child and that child deserved so much better

Deals With: parental grief when your parent was a piece of shit, Christian trauma, queerness in relationships, adulthood as you progress through your 20s, healing + building your own life after a traumatic childhood and what happens when that is disrupted

Soundtrack Essentials: The Cure - Plainsong / Mazzy Star - Be My Angel / Cocteau Twins - Cherry-Coloured Funk / Cocteau Twins - Heaven or Las Vegas / Beach House - The Hours / Jeff Buckley - Dream Brother / Tamino - Cinnamon

Synopsis: When Felix's father dies suddenly it's a week before Christmas, he and Beau had just begun experimenting with an open relationship, and he refuses to interrupt his life to mourn a man who doesn't deserve it. But when he can't stop his body from grieving, and his sister is growing obsessive over the morbid details, and at work he's teaching children that remind him of himself, an opportunity to impulsively leave sees Felix spend an insomniatic month in New York: diners at 3am, trips at the club, a birthday spent in a planetarium, one night stands to tell his boyfriend about in the morning, and a dangerously intense relationship with an enigmatic man who wants to know everything about his father.

This is another piece in my personal project/emotional support series and follows Revelations, Revelations and Lover Boy. If you know me you know Dorothy and Felix are my annoying children who I love so dearly and this novella is paired with a future novella that follows Dorothy during the same time. Fun fact! I only returned to writing because I wanted to explore Felix more and now I have an entire world that dominates my brain and it's all his fault! So this novella is kind of like a love letter to him. I also literally only created this so I could have a project that was soundtracked by historic Cocteau Twins' album Heaven or Las Vegas. Currently drafting because it won't leave my mind

The answering machine beeps awake -- and then, Beau's mother, reminding them that they're in charge of dessert tomorrow --and then, Beau's coworker wishing them both a Happy Holidays, a Stacy who Felix has never met -- and then his sister, sarcastic but loving, This is me calling so you know I made it home alive, just like you asked -- and then surprisingly, Goldie, Hi Felix, even though school broke up weeks ago, So I know it's Christmas, but I wanted to let you know that I talked with Joey's father and it sounds like he's doing much better at home already. He's even excited to come back to your class! And his father sounds super proud and optimistic about his progress and by the end of the last message he’s on the floor, back to fridge and elbows on his knees, face in his hands. And he lets out a shaky, snivelled breath that makes him push his palms harder against his eyes, against the wetness because he can’t cry, not over this, not when there’s still Christmas presents to wrap and last minute laundry so stop crying, get up, put on your new Mazzy Star record and get on with it. He straightens his back, holds his head up, takes a few deep breaths that feel more like gasping for air and also like pulling barbed wire out of his throat, gazes at the slants of streetlight on his living room wall. He can’t cry, not over this and not here, not in the home he’s worked so hard to make so warm. So he sits with himself, wipes his own eyes and holds himself in his own arms; when he feels calm enough, or trusts himself to be, he leans forward so he can open the fridge and reach in for the last ginger ale, cold in his hand and warm down his throat. Just him and the hum of an empty apartment.

#felix's transition from guy who does cocaine in the bathroom to kindergarten teacher is still so iconic to me #the tiny hint at the dorothy sibling novella OMG #wip intro #until heaven #something about this wip intro is so scary to me even though i love this story so much #but i need my wip intros so i can make my pinned post....dropping then going to SLEEP

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smrsxx · 1 year

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Growing Old Together | Zlatan Ibrahimović x Female Reader

Summary : After so many years of playing football , Zlatan decides to retire .

Tw: insomnia , physical pain and tears , but mainly fluff .

English isn't my first language so if you spot any mistakes please just bare with me.

5k words : \

__________________________________________________

05 : 00 a . m .

He checked the clock at his bedside table for one last time , before he tried to sit up on the bed .

He was in pain .

He was in so much pain .

Everything in his body was in pain .

Every bone in his body was in pain .

His muscles were in pain .

The painkillers didn't do anything .

Nothing helped him .

' ' Try and get some sleep Big Man . Alright ? ' ' His manager said to him .

Well he tried .

He tried multiple times this week .

This month .

The last couple years .

He is in constant pain .

He loved football .

Football was his whole life .

But right now , at the age of 41 years old and after so many years of playing , he felt . . . Tired .

He turned his head right and stared at the woman sleeping peacefully besides him .

His soulmate .

His wife .

The mother of his two kids .

The Love of his life .

He got up trying to not wake her up and made his was in the living room to make the phone call .

__________

06 : 00 a . m .

She woke up and before she opened her eyes , her hands searched for warmth .

For him .

His side of the bed was empty and cold .

" Maybe he went for training . " She thought to herself .

She got up and made her way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her kids and a coffee for herself .

' ' Morning . ' ' Her older son Maximilian said .

' ' Goodmorning honey . ' ' She said to him back while making him a toast just the way he liked it .

' ' What's dad still doing here ? ' ' Max asked her before making his way back to his bedroom .

' ' What ? ' ' She asked quietly while looking outside the living room .

He was outside at the balcony with his hair up like she loved , an open grey hoodie and black shorts talking to his phone .

She observed him for a couple of minutes while sipping the coffee from her mug and when he was done with the phone call , she walked over to him .

__________

' ' Is everything okay ? ' ' She asked him while looking up at him .

He grabbed her from her waist and kissed her soft lips that he so much loved .

After a while , when they parted their ways , he looked at her pink cheeks and her puffy lips , her beautiful eyes and caressed her face .

' ' You're worrying me . Is everything okay ? ' ' She asked him again while holding his arms .

' ' From now on , I'm all yours everyday and every night . ' ' He answered to her with a smile .

' ' You're retiring ? ' ' She asked him seriously .

' ' Yeah . I just did it and they gave me an opportunity for the head coach of the team and I took it . ' '

' ' I am so proud of you . Really . But are you sure about that ? ' '

' ' Yes I'm absolutely sure . I'm just tired . I'm tired of feeling pain everyday when I wake up . It's too much and I have trouble sleeping . I know it's gonna be difficult for the fans but I just can't do it anymore . ' '

' ' Why didn't you tell me anything ? I could have helped you somehow . ' ' She told him while tears escaped her eyes .

' ' How long has this thing going ? ' ' She asked him again but before he could say anything back , her sobs filled the quiet morning .

He embraced he in a tight hug for a couple of minutes to calm her down .

' ' I now it's gonna be hard for some people , because of the my past but I'll try to get better in the future . ' '

' ' Do not think about the past nor the future. Just enjoy the moments of the present . ' ' She told him before hugging him again .

' ' I love you . ' ' She said to him .

' ' I love you too . ' ' He said back .

That stayed like that for a couple of minutes .

' ' Dad ? Why is mom crying ? ' ' Max and Vincent both asked while looking at them trough their bedroom window ready for their parents to take them to school .

After that they both started laughing .

__________

Tags : @unimportantbabymilksharkte

#football fanfic #football imagine #football x reader #football x you #zlatan ibrahimovic imagines #zlatan ibrahimovic x reader #zlatan ibrahimovic x you

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rxin3akamallory · 4 months

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That Night

I keep pumping out art like it’s no tomorrow good god!

Ok so y’all need context for this one, this is based on a short story I wrote I wanna say a year or two ago focusing around the day Barley and Maria became a couple. Maria’s mother passed away when she was young, and today was the anniversary of her death. It’s unfortunate that that day happened to also be her mom’s birthday. The whole day Maria was going through different emotions, but was determined to keep them bottled to herself. At least until she got home. Barley unintentionally makes her crack and in the drawing, he arrives inside Maria’s home. He’s come to apologize for not being sensitive towards her feelings and not giving her enough space.

An excerpt from the short I wrote is provided below. It’s ehhh tbh but still probably one of my best written work within the last year or two.

Barley: Is it ok if I come in, or?

Maria: Oh! Right, I’m sorry.

Maria led him inside. Barley sat on her bed while Maria went back to work on her broomstick.

Barley: Hey, you’re making a new broomstick.

Maria: Yeah I finally got the motivation to work on a new one.

Barley: I remember what happened to the first one. You were so devastated. You acted almost Iike how you were today.

Maria: Yeah, I almost didn’t want to replace it. That broomstick meant so much to me.

Barley: I saw a name carved onto the broomstick. Elizabeth Morven. Are they a family member of your’s?

Maria: That’s uh.. my mother’s name.

Barley: Oh. Did she give it to you?

Maria: Mhm. She made that broomstick for me so I could have it when I’d set off for witch training.

Barley: That’s right. It’s what witches used to do when they were the age of 13. They’d set off on a year’s training to strengthen their magic. You were able to actually go into training?

Maria: Yes, I know other witches stopped doing that decades ago, but my family believed in keeping older traditions alive so they insisted I’d go train. My mom especially wanted to see me go. But.. she passed away before she could see that happen.

Barely: I’m so sorry, Maria.

Maria: I was trying to hold back my emotions because tonight’s the night she passed away.

Barley’s eyes widened. He knew she lost her mother when she was young, like how Barley lost his father, but he never knew how she passed away. She never really talks about it to anyone. He wanted to know what happened but at the same time, he didn’t want to press on in case he’d hurt her again.

Barley: Oh. You don’t have to talk about it, but I know what that feels like. You feel like you have to keep strong for the one you lost. You want them to be proud of the person you’ve become, you know? So you try to bottle in your emotions.

Maria: Mhm. You see this bracelet?

Maria held up her wrist so Barley could see the purple bracelet she was wearing.

Maria: The night my mother passed away, was also her birthday. My father gave mom a new bracelet as a present. As she took off her old bracelet, she handed it to me.

Maria held up her left wrist and showed the exact bracelet her mom gave her.

Maria: I wear it everyday ever since. So I can always keep her close…

Maria started to tear up, Barley instinctively gripping her hand.

Barley: I’m so sorry for your loss, Maria.

Maria: She made me feel safe and secure as a kid, and to lose her so suddenly terrified me. I lost that secure feeling. I worry everyday the same thing could happen to someone else, to my friends, to you, to grandma, to dad.. To me..

Barley hugged Maria as tight as he could.

Barley: Shh, Maria no. Don’t think like that.

He let her cry into his shoulder for a few moments until her sobs turned into small breaths.

Barley: What did you get her?

Maria: Hm?

Barley: Your mom’s birthday. Did you give her anything?

Maria: Hold on.

Maria lets go of Barley and opens a drawer on her desk. She takes out two large rings meant to be wrapped around the end of a broomstick.

Maria: I wanted to give her one to put on her broomstick and one to put on my future one when I got older. I might put mine on my new broomstick, but I don’t know where to put my mother’s.

Barley thought about it for a moment until he got an idea.

Barley: You got any string on you?

Maria: Yeah why?

Barley: You’ll see. Here, hand me the ring.

Maria hands the ring along with some rope. Barley carefully puts the string in the ring and ties the ends together, making it into a necklace. He motioned Maria to turn around and when she did he slipped the necklace around her neck.

Barley: There, now your mother’s right where she always was.

Barley points to her heart where the ring was.

Maria: It’s perfect. Thank you, Bar.

Barley: And you shouldn’t feel unsafe, Maria. You still got your father and grandma, your friends, and you got me. You shouldn’t worry about what’ll probably happen to us, you should be more focused on right now. And right now, from this day forward, I want to make sure you feel safe so I promise to protect you like your mother did. With your permission that is.

Maria smiled, new tears falling down her cheeks.

Maria: Of course. I can’t think of anyone better to fill that role.

#onward #onward pixar #art #fanart #self insert #self insert oc #oc x canon #maria rose morven #maria onward #barley lightfoot #barley onward #maria morven x barley lightfoot #maria x barley #hurt/comfort #short story

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uzumaki-rebellion · 1 year

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“Black Boys Bloom Thorns First: Volume 4, Chapter 60″

Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.

youtube

"Yo, these niggas can't breathe when I come through Hum too, some shoes, gotta be twenty man It's not even funny they can't (Breathe) The chokehold's too tight The left looks too right You know what? You right These bitches can't (Breathe)

Look look, they hearts racin', they start chasin' But I'm so fast when I blow past, that they can't (Breathe) In the presence of the man Your future looks better than your past If you present with the man, you better (Breathe)"

Fabolous – "Breathe"

N'Jadaka took his children with him to Necropolis City.

Defeating the last challenger clinched the throne for him, and the moment they placed the claw necklace of the king around his neck, he knew the real work could begin. Hundreds of Wakandans witnessed his rightful ascension back to his place of power. Fearfully and wonderfully re-made, King N'Jadaka stood before his people and heralded a new age for the kingdom.

Riki was the first to reach him, clamoring for a hug, weepy-eyed, and mouth open to cry out "Baba!", gulping breath and choking on his words to express his happiness at having his father back. Joba circled her arms around his neck too, and N'Jadaka gazed at his eldest, Sydette, who stood wide-eyed, watching him.

"Sweet Pea," he said, and his daughter covered her eyes with her hands and wept.

No more. His children would never have to weep over him again. He was in control of the nation. He made the rules. Steered the ship. Mount Bashenga anointed him with an inner glow that everyone could see and feel. He read it on their faces. Most could barely look him in the eye without quaking in their shoes. He could feel it too and would use it to his advantage. Once his children were soothed and secure, his eyes automatically drifted toward Yani.

She was afraid of him.

Perhaps 'afraid' was too strong a word. Nervous? Unfamiliar with him?

Her gaze flitted across his entire body and there was an awe there. She looked away quickly, and he turned his attention back to the children before he glanced over at his grandfather and Disa. She stared at him in a way that reminded him of their days back at M.I.T. when they had talked all night out in the quad as best friends and comrades against American exploitation. His stay in the mountain realm had recalibrated every part of him. A new set of eyes took in Disa as a trusted companion. His love for her felt changed at that moment. She looked away first, and it was like a rubber band snapping against his skin, a sharp awareness and then a gradual fading.

When his piercing gaze latched on to Yani again, there was a distinct sensation that deepened in intensity. He wanted to touch her, speak to her. It had been so long since he had her in his presence, and there was so much to say.

But duty came first.

"Kumkani, we must leave for the Hall of Panthers," Lithemba said.

She lifted his hand in hers.

"I want my children to come with me… ride over there in the ship," he said.

Lithemba nodded and had her assistant guide the little ones toward the Royal Talon Fighter that hovered above them, waiting. N'Jadaka turned and waved at the crowd who yelled his name, starting another chant that made him give them all a sincere smile. There was so much to do before the huge international delegation arrived in Wakanda. He needed to speak with Nick Fury and also get Nakia up to speed with Ramonda's help.

Ramonda was familiar with many political leaders globally over the years and he needed a jump on all of their personalities and quirks. Regime changes always brought out the scavengers and jackals wanting to pick clean the bones of their enemies, and N'Jadaka was about to make Wakanda enemy number one to the world.

He had to prepare for war.

America was first on his list to destroy as a world power. They were the puppet masters that pulled strings all over the globe. Some Black intellectuals, including his own mother, were fond of quoting Audre Lorde's "the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house". N'Jadaka didn't want to disrespect elder wisdom, but the fact was, the C.I.A. did not train Lorde and she never acted in the capacity he had with dismantling entire nations. He had above and beyond the master's tools and training. His rule would devastate them at their own game soon enough.

Joba wouldn't stop staring at him.

As Riki and Sydette watched the world fly by below them, his youngest child studied his face. He kissed her cheek and fingers and settled into enjoying their youthful energy again.

"Can we call you King Baba now?" Sydette asked.

Her eyes twinkled looking at him.

"I'm still just Baba," he said, tugging on her hair beads.

"You were gone so long. Longer than you promised," Sydette said.

"I know. They wanted to make Baba perfect for you," he said.

"You were already that," Sydette said.

"Baba, can we come back and live with you?" Riki asked.

"You have a beautiful home—"

"The palace is our home," Riki insisted.

His son flopped his body across Erik's knees.

"We are supposed to be with the king!" Riki said.

King.

Hearing it from a child made it feel real.

He did it. A kid from Oakland making it all the way to king status on his own terms. The fairytale journey had been long and arduous. So much had been lost, found, and gained over the decades since he left California.

"Look, Baba," Joba said.

The Royal Talon Fighter swooped down and floated above the ongoing repairs for the Hall. The explosion that rocked it left visible scars on the structure that were slowly being covered. Their landing was soft, and he turned to his children.

"I will see you all tonight at the coronation ball," he said.

"Aw, we wahn stay with you," Riki whined.

"This part of the ceremony I must do alone. The Doras will take you back to the palace to rest and prepare for tonight."

He kissed and hugged each one of them.

"You can play in my suite with Grandpop until I return."

The children fretted but blew him kisses. He watched the ship fly off safely before he followed Lithemba into the Hall of Panthers. They strolled past the chambers of his ancestors and headed to an underground dwelling that he had been to before. Four years previously, he had ordered the priests there to burn all the sacred purple heart-shaped herb as a display of his power, knowing full well that Wakandans weren't stupid. They would have seeds saved to create more of the plant. But they wouldn't be able to grow it fast enough to get it to someone else before he changed the kingdom. They did, of course. Nakia had slipped into the chamber and stolen a plant before they burned down all the rest for him.

It was a slow-growing plant, blooming only after two years, so it did not surprise him to see a full garden batch glowing purple from the earthen floor beneath the kings and queens of the past.

"Come this way, King N'Jadaka," Lithemba said.

Altar children stood nearby, watching him with fearful eyes. A young shaman stood aside as N'Jadaka strode through, taking his position on the red earth, the dirt soft against his back. He wondered who would come to him this time. Where would he go? Back to a cramped Oakland apartment?

His heart beat faster, but he pushed back on any doubt that he was worthy of going back into the ancestral realm as a king. He was the Golden Jaguar. An Udaku. A child of the diaspora. It was his rightful time to rule.

Lithemba ground up a plump heart-shaped herb and prayed while she worked, heating it over a low fire near his head. The air in the chamber was thick with incense, and the cloying odor of the herb itself growing only four feet away from him.

"Drink, Kumkani… drink and relax," Lithemba said.

He lifted his head and swallowed down the bitter herb. The children helped bury the red earth all over him and there was a slight panic at having his face covered with dirt. The feeling left him as the heart-shaped herb took hold of him once more, reconfiguring his DNA and taking him under…

N'Jadaka pushed up through the soft earth.

Dressed in the same white knitted robes he wore on Mount Bashenga, he stepped out of his burial mound and into a mystical landscape painted in the hues of purple and blue aurora borealis lights shimmering across a twilight sky. It felt like the same astral dimension Bast kept him in back at her temple. It was familiar and comforting. In the distance, dark trees with flourishing canopies dotted the horizon, and one, in particular, caught his eye. The fruits it bore were several Black Panthers lounging across branches, watching him with shiny, glowing white eyes that turned dark lavender the closer he walked to them.

N'Jadaka stared up at the night sky as the lights danced above them, adding a touch of glowing green to the colors that made the stars twinkle so brightly. He took a deep breath, grateful to be outside and not locked inside a room from his past.

Two lounging panthers stood up from their branches and growled at him, forcing his attention back to them. They both dropped to the ground and a brilliant white light shapeshifted them into humans.

A man and a woman.

N'Jadaka dropped to his knees immediately, not prepared to face these particular ancestors.

"Rise child. You are a king once more. Our equal," the woman said.

Proud. Haughty. Elegant. Beautiful.

Queen Shuriyah stood in front of him in the flesh and tears fell from his eyes.

"This has been quite a journey, eh eh, no… do not wipe your eyes. I know who you are, my son," she said.

Shuriyah held out her hand toward the man next to her.

"Baba, look at your child," she said.

"N'Jadaka…"

The man's voice made him lower his head. The power within it was too much to take in. A mountain was named for him. An entire city. There would be no united Wakanda if not for him.

Bashenga. The Shaman King. The first to taste the heart-shaped herb and use vibranium to catapult his people into the future before the Europeans came out of their filthy caves. The first Black Panther.

"Hear me, son… look at me," Bashenga said.

The light from Bashenga's aura was greater than the lights glowing in the sky. N'Jadaka raised his eyes to level with his greatest grandfather and he recognized an equal.

"It is rare for Bast to come to rulers. She appears only to those that have the task of shifting the tide of the people. I was the first," Bashenga said.

"I was the second," Shuriyah said.

"You are the third, my precious grandson," Bashenga said.

A cultural weight drifted onto N'Jadaka's shoulders. He lifted it and grew accustomed to how it felt carrying it.

"Becoming king is not an easy feat for any Udaku, but our family has prevailed in ruling for centuries because we have always kept a vision of where we wanted Wakanda to be. I am afraid that the old ways have not suited us," Bashenga said.

He wore a large-plumed feather headdress, and a bright scarlet robe draped over one shoulder. He carried a spear and his regal, dark face rested in wisdom. Shuriyah shared the same blood-red colored robe with a tall isicholo. She held her body the way it looked in the painting hanging in his personal office. Older in appearance, she still had the flame of power in her eyes.

N'Jadaka glanced above her head. The light in the sky shifted colors, the evening glow growing lighter with pinks and pale orange until it was daytime, and they stood in a lush grassland green with growing things all around them. Other panthers in the trees dropped and shimmered into his other ruler ancestors, watching him with keen eyes and heads held high like they were honored to see him.

"The tragedy that befell our family brought you here. We needed new eyes… a new voice… a new vision to lead us in the coming troubles… and there is trouble coming, my son. This day and age needs new blood, and your father made us a valuable king. You are a unique man, N'Jadaka. Being a king will not be your only triumph. Inside of you is the wisdom of the diaspora that we turned our backs on long ago," Bashenga said.

"That way of thinking served us for a time," Shuriyah said.

"Why did you go out into the world, Umama, and come back without ruling it all?" N'Jadaka asked.

He had read his father's journals and knew the questions that N'Jobu wanted answers to.

"Our people were not ready to engage with a vast barbaric world," she said. "I saw firsthand what I wished not to be a part of. Tyrants and weakness. Uncivilized people from other places would wage war on us forever to take what is ours. As humans, we made choices you may think unwise or selfish from your era. But you will learn as king that not everyone can see from your vantage point. But now…"

Shuriyah held her hands open and stepped closer to him. She clasped her hands over his and the warmth made him cry again.

"Our people have someone who has been in the world and is from our culture. Your father brought you up as a Wakandan as best he could. Your mother gave you the tools to ready you for ruling Wakanda better than anyone I know of. You, N'Jadaka, were meant to take us into the future. You carry Bast, that rascal, Ogum, and the love of a people who endured centuries of cruelty inside your soul. Who better to lead in this new age, hmm? You came right on time, child. Bend the world on its knees for our people everywhere. We all stand with you and T'Challa. Think of him not as your cousin, but as your brother from now on."

Bashenga placed a hand on N'Jadaka's shoulder.

"Your father and uncle have reconciled. Ease your heart and mind. You are on the right path for our people. It is our time to come out from hiding. Be the light, N'Jadaka—"

"And also the blade, if you have to," Shuriyah affirmed.

N'Jadaka stood taller. He drank in their words. The light in the sky grew brighter. Shuriyah touched his face and Bashenga squeezed his shoulder.

"Go back knowing that all the ancestors stand with you and your brother. The Black Panther and The Golden Jaguar must stand tall and strong," Bashenga said.

N'Jadaka could feel his spirit fading from their realm.

"I won't let you down," N'Jadaka called out as the glow of light blinded him.

The faint vision of Shuriyah floated in the brightness.

"Tell my namesake that I am proud of her," Shuriyah said.

N'Jadaka grinned. Shuri would probably faint when he told her their greatest queen mother watched over her like that.

Red earth choked him as he gasped for air in the world of the living.

N'Jadaka coughed and twisted his body to the side, moving the soft earth away from his stomach and thighs. A young boy brought him water, and he gulped it down. Lithemba knelt down next to him and wiped his face with a warm purple cloth to remove the dirt.

"I saw the Shaman King and my greatest grandmother," N'Jadaka yelped.

Lithemba smiled and gently cleaned his skin, helping him up from the ground. He shook his arms and legs. Sniffing his hands, he caught a whiff of their scent still on him. His body felt feverish and he couldn't stop shaking. They were actual flesh and blood and he saw them… spoke to them. More importantly, they knew him. He was no strange foreign child… he was theirs and they told him so.

"Bring T'Challa to me!" he ordered, grabbing his white robe and tying it around him.

He had to talk to his brother… and Shuri right away.

N'Jadaka hustled away from Lithemba and crossed past the garden of heart-shaped herbs. Flinging the chamber doors open, he ran into his grandparents, Umama, Baba Z, and Dante. He couldn't talk fast enough to tell them who he met on the ancestral plane. Umama stroked his face and led him to an antechamber that was brand new. N'Jadaka's eyes grew wide.

"What is all this?" he said.

Baba Z chuckled, and Dante wiped his eyes. Umama patted his arm and led him inside.

"When I first saw you with my own eyes, I said some things that were not kind when I thought about it later. My sweet grandson, you were the one we have been waiting for. Bast moves in mysterious ways, but your Umama is a little more direct… see…"

A diamond and vibranium sarcophagus stood under the gentle glow of eternal flame candles that surrounded it. A breathtaking wall-sized gold plaque glowed with the brilliance of its Wakandan symbols etched into it. He made out most of the words.

"Umama," he said, gripping her hand tight.

Umama's hands shook, and she blinked rapidly while staring into his face. Baba Z touched the sarcophagus.

"This is for your people, grandson. For the ones who jumped off those ships so long ago into the ocean, and for the ones who lived and made a way out of no way. Understand?" Baba Z said.

"We want to hold a space for them here among our kings and queens. Without them, you would not be here. Our great-grandbabies would not be here, bringing us joy and showing us the future. The diaspora is truly the lost tribe. They will no longer be lost to us here," Umama said.

"Thank you," N'Jadaka said.

He admired the beauty before him and held Dante's hand.

Noxolo and Quamba entered the chamber.

"King N'Jadaka, the Black Panther waits for you back at the palace. Are you ready to depart?" Noxolo asked.

Noxolo still would not gaze at him directly, nor would Quamba.

"Yes," he said.

He kissed all of his grandparents and left them in the resting place of his lost-found kin.

Disa dressed in the tailored metallic bronze and gold dress befitting a royal in the palace. Applying gold lipstick to her dry lips, she geared up to face N'Jadaka again. The moment they crowned him king, no one called him Erik anymore. It was only right. His American name meant king anyway, so it was redundant to use. Califia had been wise to name her son what he would become later in life.

King N'Jadaka.

She wiped away the small trickle of a tear from her left eyelid. He was not the same man anymore. Emotionally, she accepted that, but watching him after he won his claim to the throne, her mind finally accepted it too. Her last intimate moment with him in her suite would be her last. The knowledge of that came over her suddenly because of the aura he carried. They no longer had any unfinished business on a personal level. Had she wanted him, she would've taken him back a long time ago. But the fact of the matter was that they had a glorious season that had difficulties, but Allah solidified their attachment as best friends. Disa loved him, flaws and all. However, King N'Jadaka was another person, and she was not meant to walk that road with him as his woman.

She wasn't sad about it. Affirming it freed her from doubting her needs as a woman with her own mission in life, to work by his side, raise their child together and move the nation forward with her input.

His heart belonged to Yani.

She knew it while spending the last two weeks in St. Thomas. Leona showed her that truth by all the affection she had for N'Jadaka while sharing little tidbits about her time with him there. She let slip other stories about him caring for Sydette, protecting Yani from naysayers, and looking out for anyone connected to her. He really slowed down and lived for once. He never had that opportunity with Disa. They were always on the go, getting through school, getting through the Navy and Black ops, and all the other things she thought was life but were just the constant influx of moving toward something that was not a part of her. Wakanda had been N'Jadaka's destiny and even she couldn't keep up with him on that journey, not the way he needed. It was no one's fault.

Time slowed down for him in St. Thomas, forcing him to be present in a way that he lost as a child. He and Disa had fleeting moments here and there, but the island gave him two years to rest. Allah blessed her with a child from him, but he was made for someone else. That last revelation gave her a soothing peace. Watching N'Jadaka fight at Warrior Falls gave her a security she had missed for years. They were both where they were supposed to be.

As wild as it felt, Adebiyi had a lot to do with that feeling of acceptance.

After Marisol and Dante left the island, Disa spoke to Adebiyi every night, trying to glean any palace gossip she could about what was happening on Mount Bashenga. When he had nothing viable to offer from his talks with M'Baku, they both started pondering how Wakanda would be after Challenge Day. She opened up about her dreams for the country and Adebiyi listened to her with an open mind, letting down his guard about his fears for the future.

His Jabari stubbornness came from a people who had been overlooked for centuries by the Udaku clan. Until T'Challa stepped up, they were treated as throwaway people. Working for Disa gave him some new insight and worry, but talking freely away from work opened him up to a different way of seeing her. More than anything, they liked each other.

Back in Wakanda, she couldn't wait to speak to him as preparations for the coronation whirled around them. She had tea with Adebiyi in the royal garden and invited him for a meal with the royal family while Joba spent a few days with Yani and her siblings. He spoke to her like a human being and, by their second tea date to discuss coming to the Jabari lands, Disa knew he was attracted to her. He had stopped sucking his teeth whenever she said something that he questioned. That was a big deal.

She kept her feelings about him discreet from everyone, including Adebiyi. The idea of going up to his land before N'Jadaka was king crossed her mind a lot, but she opted to wait until she saw him again before striking out on something as ridiculous as a grown-up crush. At her big ole age? With a man who carried so much disdain when he first met her? Madness! Pure, sweet madness for sure.

And what would N'Jadaka think? His feelings mattered to her, and she didn't want to embarrass him or bring critical eyes to his rule. For the time being, she just wanted to get to know Adebiyi better, work with him, and create something wonderful for her new homeland. He matched her energy in ways that surprised her, even through his stubborn exterior. Plus, he was older, something that she always found attractive in men. N'Jadaka had been an anomaly in her love life, the youngest man she had ever gotten mixed up with.

Shaking her head at all the jumbled thoughts running through her head, Disa admired her beauty in the mirror. She was an older woman who had done amazing things in her life before and after N'Jadaka. There was more on the horizon for her. Adebiyi was giving her an inkling of all kinds of possibilities to enjoy other men. For a moment, she thought she could share love for a man with Yani, but her feelings for the king had shifted away from the romantic to the platonic, and a more sisterly kinship. Her faith had always delivered what she needed, and she trusted in that.

"Joba!" Disa called out.

Her daughter ran into the room with her nanny, Osilee, a cute, plump woman with laughing eyes and a kind nature.

"Oh, look how pretty you look! Osilee, you did a wonderful job with her hair!"

Disa touched the intricately twisted curls decorated with purple ribbons. Joba twirled around in her gauzy gold dress and little kitten heels.

"Let's go! Let's go!" Joba shouted, grabbing Disa's hand and pulling her towards the door.

"Alright, alright little girl!" Disa said.

"Have a wonderful evening, Lady Abdullah," Osilee said. "I will watch everything on the vid screen."

"Oh, I wish you would come with us," Disa said.

"I would be too nervous, but I will come for Princess Joba when you are ready for her bedtime tonight."

"I left you a surprise in your closet."

"My closet?"

"You didn't look?" Disa said.

Osilee walked away from them and headed to the back of their home. Joba shook her hands with excitement.

"Will she like it?" Joba asked.

"We will see," Disa said.

Moments later, they heard a loud shout and Osilee scurried back to them, carrying a delicate peach ball gown made just for her.

"Lady Abdullah… this is too much!" Osilee said.

"You will look beautiful!" Joba said.

"No matter what you decide, there is a table set aside for our personal staff to join us for the dinner and reception. Everyone will be there. No need to sit in the house and watch it when you can be there with us," Disa said.

Weepy-eyed, Osilee clutched the dress to her chest.

"I don't want to hold you up," Osilee said.

"You won't. Go on and change. You can go with us."

"But you are royalty—"

"You take care of my child and make sure my home is kept together when I'm working."

"Oh, this is not happening…."

"It is. Go on."

Disa waved her hands to shoo Osilee away to get ready. Her kimoyo beads lit up, and she tapped one bead to open her front door. Dante and Yani were there with the other children.

"You all look wonderful!" Disa said.

She gave Dante a hug and greeted her daughter's siblings with affection.

"Yani?" Disa said.

Yani dressed in an elegant, pale gold strapless gown with pale yellow diamonds glued across her clavicle. Delicate gold hoop earrings dangled from her ears and her impeccable make-up made her glowing brown skin look like satin.

"Is everything alright? Are you sick?" Disa asked.

She pulled Yani away from the children and cornered her near a fireplace.

"I'm so nervous… to see him," Yani whispered so Dante wouldn't hear.

Disa held her hand.

"You saw him, Disa. He's… beyond different. I'm not ready to face him. So much has happened since he's been away, and I don't—"

"Listen to me. Tonight, we'll have all the family with us. It'll be hectic, but many people will surround us with fun, and you won't have to think about anything else."

"He's all I think about. All day. Remy fought against him. The man I chose to take care of our children tried to kill him. I can't even look at him… you felt that too… his energy is so strong… like he can control everything... everyone."

"The mountain changed him, yes. But Yani, we have to go to the throne room with all of his family, and that includes us. We will walk behind him across the bridge and face the nation together. I'll be there with you, and it won't be so unsettling."

Disa cradled Yani's cheek.

"I promise," Disa said.

Yani inhaled and let out a shuddery breath.

"Lady Abdullah."

Disa turned to find Osilee dressed up. She touched her short braids and looked down at the flattering gown, seeking Disa's approval.

"Beautiful… you look beautiful," Disa said. "Doesn't she look amazing, Yani?"

Yani nodded, and turning her attention onto someone else helped calm her nerves.

"We better leave before we hold up the pre-gathering," Disa said.

Yani followed her back to the others, and their personal Doras waited for them at the front door. They walked through the palace with chattering children and clacking heels. When the giant double doors of the throne room were opened for them, Disa and Yani both had the wind knocked out of them.

King N'Jadaka sat on the throne and peered at them both with assertive, commanding eyes. Instead of the royal black robes, he was adorned in bright ivory, his hair piled high and his nose ring gleaming as bright as the beads in his beard. Disa clutched at her chest, and Yani's reaction mirrored her own. That man was more than a king. He was magnificent.

Her heart raced in her chest and she glanced down at their daughter.

"Baba!" Joba yelled.

N'Jadaka stood from his throne and the large extended family parted like the red sea to let his children come through. The Council of Elders stood to the side of the throne with T'Challa, whose ivory tunic and trousers matched the king's colors. After greeting his children, the elders spoke to the family and made the final declaration welcoming N'Jadaka to his sacred duty of protecting Wakanda and all of its citizens. A celebratory shout broke the serious tension afterward and relatives hugged and patted the new king.

He walked through the gauntlet of the family toward Disa and Yani, holding the hands of Riki and Joba. Sydette clung to his robe with a wide grin plastered across her proud face.

"Disa," N'Jadaka said.

"Your Highness," Disa greeted.

A sly smile moved his beautiful lips, and he leaned over and kissed her cheek. She closed her eyes and savored the sound of love in his voice, but also the visceral power he exuded from every pore in his body. They would indeed be the best of friends forever, and she relaxed in his presence.

"Congratulations, king," Disa said with a hint of teasing.

He nodded and turned toward Yani. She held her head down shyly with her hands threaded together in front of her. His energy was overwhelming and Disa couldn't blame Yani for keeping her eyes downcast.

"Yani," he said.

Yani gasped, and her shoulders shook.

"Look at me," N'Jadaka commanded.

Yani slowly raised her head, and a tear rolled down her face.

Drummers pounded out the king's march, and a griot plucked the delicate strings of a Wakandan lyre made from the long horns of an ancient antelope. Another musician played a small kalimba, giving the lyre a gentle companion sound.

"Make way for King N'Jadaka!" Noxolo yelled, stepping next to him.

N'Jadaka took his thumb and wiped away Yani's tear before kissing her forehead.

"Don't be afraid of me," he told her.

Yani nodded, and he left her side, sweeping into the wide halls with the swagger of a god, his children in tow.

Chapter 61 HERE.

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moonlit-positivity · 4 months

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This blog is a love letter to myself. To my child self too scared to even move or make a noise in that house out of fear that my drunk ass mother would notice my existence and either beat the living fuck out of me for it or yell at me for being alive and then her bitch ass girlfriend would tell me to "clean my face" when I started crying about it. To honor the torture I endured as a child of having my hands bound to the headboard every night I went to sleep because my mother was obsessed with my body and my genitals. To honor the pain of enduring a long line of pedophilia, incest, child sexual assault, misogyny, alcoholism, abuse, and violence that my mother endured and passed down to me. To myself in college when I crumbled with crippling paralyzing fear and paranoia because I knew I wasn't entirely free just yet so I froze up and then my mother once again beat the living fuck out of me for gaining weight and taking up space. To the family that took me in and inevitably kicked me out when my mother ruined their life just to get to me. To me finally escaping on my 20th birthday only to hop from one dysfunctional family system to another and spend the next 10+ years of my life dealing with the aftermath of what I just witnessed. To my lost young adulthood falling in love with my best friend but also struggling to keep a job and inevitably isolating myself because the pain and stress of keeping numb started to get too loud when the repressed memories started to surface. To my mind 20's losing myself in a stream of maladaptive daydreaming and extreme dissociation, denial, escapism, self harm, and eating disorders. To July 27th, 2019 when I spoke to my mother for the last time before deciding to get serious about my life and my mental health and fortifying myself in a wealth of knowledge about boundaries, consent, communication, sexual health, and personality disorders. To my current self working on my emotional health healing and recovering from these things that I have literally never been able to say out loud until now. To honor my own pain of witnessing other people actually having healthy families and healthy bonds with their parents and healthy relationships with friends and the jealousy and resentment I felt at how the world could be so fucking cruel to not only tell me I was alone in this bullshit but also rub it in my face how painstakingly horrifying it is to come face to face with my worst fears of having to be dragged back to that abusive bullshit I saw as a child. To have my own father constantly gaslight me and downplay his involvement in abandoning me to suffer in that fucking house. To witness society continually blame children and invalidate adult survivors who come forth and talk about the shit they went through as a child. To combat the stigma around addiction, homelessness, self harm, suicide awareness, mental health, and all this other bullshit that is the actual relevant shit we as humans need to be focusing on. And to my future self. To my relationship with my inner children, teens, adults, and beyond. To honoring my system. To honoring my future hobbies and interests and dreams. To my future relationships that I hope to build on a better solid foundation of mutual respect and trust and open communication and the ability to hold space for each other's pain, to understand what we want and need from each other and to know ourselves enough to know what we want and need in the first place. To my future goals, plans, friends, family, to my future grievances, losses, pains, and failures. This blog is dedicated to me in the most loving way I could possibly present myself.

Thanks for listening.

#about me #about this blog #i may post things in the tags for all to see and share #but at the end of the day these words are for me #these are things ive needed to say most my life #and things ive needed to hear said to me #and thoughts and ideologies ive wanted to be a part of my identity construct #this blog is entirely personal #the language I use is my own #the way i say it is my own #the way i engage with discourse or criticism or conversations that arise is my own voice #you are welcome to sit and listen #enjoy a warm hot cocoa and some smores while youre at it #grab a teddy bear and a blanket #thanks for listening

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hanako-san · 2 years

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Tittle: Future IV

A/N: Hope you like it

-Current times- Teru was in the temple belonging to his family, in the interior of the temple at the altar, he added earth to the ode in a glass, he slept it, he added white dust and waited. "Teru-sama, why are you so involved in this case" "Kanagure-san, it's none of your business" "I'm sorry." He bowed apologetically The water in the glass turned black as darkness "Teru-sama … this is .." Shocked Kanagure "Yes. I know. Time to fix what the Minamoto family broke," He said

-Year 1969- Amane disappeared a week ago. The desperate Yugi family looked for their son everywhere. They reported their son missing to the police. Amane's school and class as well Class became involved in the search for the boy. Their efforts have so far been unsuccessful. Yugi's mother stopped at the threshold of the corridor and she fell to the ground howling in despair "My second dearest son has disappeared. This has happened for the second time !! I can't stand anymore !!" She screamed in despair "Sweetheart!" The husband hugged her to him and tried not to show her that he wanted to cry as much as she did, that everything inside him was screaming

Before returning home, Tsukasa decided to double-check the places where He and Amane like to be. Thread. He came home disappointed "Amane !!!" The mother ran quickly to the door, thinking her older son was back Her gaze turned with joy to cold and cool when she saw that it was Tsukasa. "It's you …" She said coldly, without looking at him "Wash your hands, dinner will be soon" She added and walked away "…. okay...." he said, hurt by his mother's attitude. It was clear that she was blaming Tsukasa for making Amane disappear

Since Amane's disappearance, Tsukasa has been spending time in his room. Sad, he held a teddy bear, sat by the window, sighed and looked at the moon "Look .. you have nothing to do with the disappearance of Amane?" "NO. I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS, HIS FATE IS UNKNOWN EVEN TO ME" "Amane …" said Tsukasa looking at the moon and the tears fell.

***

Yugi's mother was also sitting by the window and looking at the moon. Yugi's father got up from the bed because he couldn't sleep either and went to his wife. "Honey … I wanted to talk about something. It's not the best time, but … I need to talk to you about it." "What do you want to talk about?" "Tsukasa .. You treat him very badly even now. He needs you and you are rejecting him and I have a feeling that you blame him for Amane's disappearance I know he thinks so too. Stop pushing him away at last! He also suffers. Can't you really see it? " "This thing is not my son. And I believe he did something to our son, and if my beloved Amane gets stuck and replaced something like with Tsukasa. This is not our son when you understand this and I will continue to suspect him. I'm afraid our son will come back and it won't be our son, but this something will remind him, and we'll be next to him, "she said without looking at her husband "And again..." sighed her husband "Someday you'll find out I was right," she said Yugi's father said nothing anymore. There was no point in talking to my wife. He left the house and went on to search - to no avail. He went to the police ask for searches - without new information. The despairing father returned home. He quietly opened the door to the house. Tsukasa, who heard the door opening, quickly ran to his father, thinking, it's his brother "Dad …" "Nothing," He replied Desperate, Tsukasa ran into his father's arms and cried loudly. Yuga's father hugged his son and cried with him

-The present times, night -Minamoto House- Amane couldn't sleep what he learned from Kou disturbing to him. He went to the kitchen to pour himself some water, and he wiped the flowing water every now and then. He put his hands on the sink tears. He went to the bathroom. He rested his hands on the sink, looked into the mirror in front of him, his beautiful eyes were puffy from sleeplessness and red from tears. He washed his face and left, quietly entered Kou's room and went back to the mat, sat down. "Amane" Kou got up "Did I wake you up?" He didn't look at Kou "It's nothing" He got up and sat down next to him "What's going on?" He asked "Really nothing" He rocked, could barely hold back his tears, and his voice was teary "Don't lie" "…"

"Amane, I know we are really bred for ages, but let me tell you something. You hide emotions, you don't say anything, you do everything your way to nobody without saying anything, you are not talking about your suffering. You want to carry this burden alone, but you aren't alone here. Guys have problems and experiences too we ourselves cannot argue with. We need help and talk. We are not strong and we don't have to pretend we are and with everything we can handle it because it's not true " "…….." "…….." "…….." "If you want … but when you decide, I am here for you" He said sighing "Because .." he decided "Yes?" "I will kill Tsukasa for whom I don't know yet. And now he learns that my brother has sacrificed himself for my health. Regret and hurt. Tsukasa is absolutely justified. So is reminding me of my act. Tsukasa thinks I hate him, and it's not true how can i hate my twin. I'm glad to have him " "I don't think you are a bad guy" Kou's tone became serious "………" "Listen" He looked at his broken friend "Amane … you once told me such words If I killed you now, but I'd have a good reason to kill you- "What?!" Shocked, Amane stopped and his crying increased "No. Calm down !! Let her finish," he said He calmed down and sat down "Your reaction … your facial expression was really strange to describe. You didn't look like you wanted to do it, and you were forced to do it" He described "………" "That's why I know you're not bad guy, but something had to happen that made you decide to do it. I know that he wants to turn the tide, so we'll help you." "….. Thank you" Tears emerged

Amane was in the toilet, he wanted to get out of this place he had bad memories of. His spiritual version said he had something to do and he stayed alone because Yashiro and Kou were in class. He walked the corridor and watched as everything changed, he put his hands in his pockets and sighed, he stood in the middle of the corridor and looking out the window at students who had PE, he sighed heavily. "AMANEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!" Tsukasa, happy to see his brother, quickly ran up and hugged his chest from behind, hugged the left side of his face to his face. "Amane, Amane !!" "Tsu..kasa" he stuttered "Oh …?" Tsukasa, felt the heat of his brother's body and felt "Body heat?" Surprised

In panic, Amane took his hands out of the pickles and pushed Tsukasa away from him without looking at him in panic "Hmm .." He shook his head suspiciously Amane fled to the toilet, fell to his knees, his body dropped, his arms stretched, his head between his shoulders. "Was close" "HANAKO KUN !!!!!!!!" Nene shouted Nene's scream made Amane correct himself and pretended nothing had happened. "Amane-Kun .." "My spiritual version is busy, maybe I can help you" He smiled falsely, raising his lips slightly upwards. "Come." She grabbed his hand

****

"Um .. Yashiro" He didn't know how to describe what he saw Amane paled and his glasses tilted. "I tried to make donuts" "Donuts!!" Amane looked at her and his eyes flashed "Amane-kun, you are drooling" "Sorry …" He turned red, quickly wiping off his saliva. "You really love donuts" "…. my reaction all says" Embarrassed "Yes, but we know you love donuts because you told us" "Really, me ?!" Surprised "Yes" "….." "So what will you help?" "Of course!!"

****

After a hard work in the kitchen, they went to the toilet. Nobody was there. "That's weird .." Amane had a weird feeling "Yashiro … you know .. this is weird .. check the classes and I have a case outside the school." "Amane-kun … " Yugi circled the entire school, checked the lockers and found no one after 30 minutes he and Yashiro met outside the school. "There are no students or teachers, it looks like the supernatural have disappeared too" Nene worried "Same here. No students. It's weird." "There is still an art room," said Nene "Then let's go!"

***

Amane was very concerned about this situation. Ever since he returned from the future, he ignored everything strange that happened at his school, but he couldn't be here just leave make and ignore because here he had a duty and he felt that Tsukasa had something to do with it, so he wanted to get involved "Amane-kun. If-" "I know, I know these rumors. In my time they are too," He said seriously, "Let's go" He smiled at her "Yes" As they stood on the 4 steps, they were dragged. Amane turned pale, his eyes stopped working. "Amane-Kun .." Nene touched his arm and said "Y-this is my house" He was shaking, frowned with applause, and fear appeared in his eyes "Your home?" Nene looked around and saw Amane's pale face Amane was appalled by the condition of the house. He didn't notice the man leaving behind him. "The TV works …?" He looked out of the corner of his eye in surprise Nene and Amane heard the crash of something falling. Amane made his way upstairs without hesitation. He didn't hear Nene asking him to wait. Voices came from a room with a slack door. Yugi leaned over and saw Tsukasa standing over Hanako who fell on his knees and was really shocked. "Amane, are you having fun?" "……" " Tsukasa … "Hanako said after a moment, standing and glared at his brother angrily," Why are you doing this? "Hanako grabbed Tsukasa by his kimono and pulled him towards him. "You know … I like that look … especially the look in which you killed me" "…." Hanako covered his face as always to conceal his reaction to his words. "It's time to start the fun!" He raised his hands high, "Let's play. SAVE ME AMANE" Tsukasa voice changed to despair and begging for rescue "TSUASKA !! ARE YOU THERE MY BROTHER?" Hanako shouted, all terrified, hollow voice and body "Hmm .. why are you screaming? I'm here?" Tsukasa returned to * old * himself, his voice cool and his eyes reassured themselves black again. Hanako wasn't surprised, he knew, that as supernatural his eyes also have the same appearance sometimes, but in Tsukasa it was something more, more dark "…. y-yeah …" He confirmed, biting his lower lip "It's time to start!" He repeated and disappeared "Hanako-kun" "What's happening?" Amane asked "….." Hanako looked down and said nothing, swayed, wordlessly Amane ran to Hanako and grabbed him in his arms. Hanako's cap fell beside Amane's leg. Yugi held his head down and Hanako whispered something in his ear, then passed out. "I see …" Hanako said, "Yashiro stay with him. Kou and we will go." "What you want to do?" Asked Kou "Amane putting on his cap. He was holding the brim of the cap with his fingers "What do you want to do?" Nene asked, blushing more "Play with my brother," he said mysteriously

C.D.N

#jibaku shonen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #jibaku shounen hanako kun #amane yugi #yugi amane #hanako kun #love of my life #yugi tsukasa #yashiro nene #minamoto kou #my fanfics

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trshprm · 11 months

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Regrets... how do I define them? Do I regret almost everything? We've all had regrets. Regrets that can make us sad every time we remember them, regrets that can drive your system to experience an emotion that keeps you awake all night, and regrets that will be forever regretted even after decades pass. They perceived regrets as a sad fragment of memory and a sad experience, but for me, the regret I will be sharing is not a sad one, but rather a regretful yet happy memory, or should I say bittersweet memory?

Writing this made me feel feelings I buried a long time ago, and those feelings are accompanied by memories of her. It was a friendship with a sisterly bond. We thought our friendship would last forever. A friendship that had many dreams to achieve together but ended up being broken fragments of many ambitions and memories. I couldn't help but feel scared when I thought about it. We were the complete opposites of each other, which made us more connected and entangled. The only thing we have in common is that we both enjoy the presence of K-Pop and K-Drama. We were both so ambitious that we didn't realize destiny had other plans for us. We were so focused on our future that we failed to notice that our friendship was crumbling.

It was the typical young friendship that started in school. She was a shy kid who sat alone in the corner of the room, and I was the one who wanted to make friends with everyone, a social butterfly as they say. She was difficult to read; her thoughts and emotions were like a jigsaw puzzle with a thousand pieces to arrange before completing it. Even when she is emotionless, she never forgets how meaningful our friendship is to her. I'll never forget how she stood up to the bullies who locked me in the restroom when we were in second grade. She was furious and crying when she saw me enter the guidance office with my mother and the classmate who had locked me in. She was angrier than I was at the time, even when the bully bribed her with chocolates.“Bakit? Sa tingin mo ba magiging bati agad kayo sa chocolate na bigay mo? Marami ‘yan sa Mercury may pambili naman kami.” I can't help but feel emotional when I remember this because there was someone who was willing to speak up for me and ensure that I felt secure at the time.

Everything changed when she had to leave the city to continue her studies in the province. We were in fourth grade at the time, and social media was difficult for us to use because we didn't have phones. We didn't communicate at the time, and I assumed she had forgotten about me because it had been so long and we were still kids. But fate was on our side because she returned to the city when we were in grade 8 and we became classmates. When I saw her after four years, I thought my eyes were tripping. Her facial features became more prominent, as did her eyes. We were close once more, but this time we were more mature.

Because of her, high school became exciting. The food trip after school, the wanderings, everything I do with her is fun and interesting. She is a very smart student who consistently receives honors. When we were in ninth grade, she had already planned her future and decided what she wanted to study in college. She aspired to be a doctor, whereas I aspired to be a flight attendant. We planned our future together, including traveling the world and living together. We trusted the universe's plan too much and didn't anticipate what would happen to the present us. It was pandemic when she became confusing to me. Every time I reached out to her, she simply ignored my feelings. We're sometimes on good terms, and sometimes we're not. After saying harsh words to me, she will return as if nothing had happened.

She became distant and reached to the point that we never talked at all. At first I understood it because we were both busy in school but when I saw her stories on instagram she has time to open other messages to her but mine don’t have at all. At that point I know that she cut me off from her life because she removed me to another instagram account where her close friends are the only ones there. I was curious and sad that time because i'm so curious what I did to make her cut me off from her life. She was nonchalant about it and as if we didn’t become friends at all. If you were to ask me if I regretted that she happened to my life, I would hardly say no.

But, if you were to ask me what I regret most about the story I just told, I would say that I regret being that friend who always complies and tries to please others. I regretted allowing her to invalidate my feelings, which I would cry about every midnight and react quickly to her messages as if everything was fine for me, as if the harsh words she told me made me sleep at night. I regretted not taking the first step to cut her out of my life in order to find peace. She was a bittersweet memory that I will always keep close to my soul.

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septembercfawkes · 3 years

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Scene vs. Summary & When to Use Which

When I was a young writer, I didn't fully understand what a scene was and what a summary was. Later, when I understood the difference, I wasn't always sure when to use which. These days, I occasionally help writers with the same things. They may use summary for what should have been a scene, or they may write a whole scene for what really should have been summary. Understanding the difference and when to use which can be key when writing a successful novel.

Sure, some of it is subjective.

But what might be surprising to some, is that most of the time, one is more . . . "correct" than the other.

Scene

A scene is a structural unit that tends to have these qualities:

- Happens in Real Time

A scene will largely happen in real time. This means we "watch" the characters move, act, and talk, as if it were happening in real life.

- Dramatizes (Shows > Tells)

A scene dramatizes. It uses showing more than telling. If a character is angry with a friend, we see that anger in action and conversation. We may witness her yell or kick a rock, for example. It's like watching a stage play.

- Concrete

Because it is dramatized, a scene will usually be more concrete. It will more likely appeal to our senses and the physical world and experience.

- Characters Acting in a Specific Location

A scene will have characters in a location (in some very rare cases, the setting or society may act as characters). They might be talking on a train ride, or exploring a cave, or dueling in the snow.

Scene Examples

(Because a full scene often lasts pages, these examples are passages from specific scenes.)

"This won't take long, Andrew," said the doctor. Ender nodded. "It's designed to be removed. Without infection, without damage. But there'll be some tickling, and some people say they have a feeling of something missing. You'll keep looking around for something, something you were looking for, but you can't find it, and you can't remember what it was. So I'll tell you. It's the monitor you're looking for, and it isn't there. In a few days that feeling will pass." The doctor was twisting something at the back of Ender's head. Suddenly a pain stabbed through him like a needle from his neck to his groin. Ender felt his back spasm, and his body arched violently backward; his head struck the bed. He could feel his legs thrashing, and his hands were clenching each other, wringing each other so tightly that they arched. "Deedee!" shouted the doctor. "I need you!" The nurse ran in, gasped. "Got to relax these muscles. Get it to me, now! What are you waiting for!" Something changed hands; Ender could not see. He lurched to one side and fell off the examining table. "Catch him!" cried the nurse. "Just hold him steady--" "You hold him, doctor, he's too strong for me--" "Not the whole thing! You'll stop his heart--" Ender felt a needle enter his back just above the neck of his shirt. It burned, but wherever in him the fire spread, his muscles gradually un-clenched. Now he could cry for the fear and pain of it. "Are you all right, Andrew?" the nurse asked.

- Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

Mrs. Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to me to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger with the words: “This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to you.” He, for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and having examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice, “Her size is small: what is her age?” “Ten years.” ��So much?” was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for some minutes. Presently he addressed me—“Your name, little girl?” “Jane Eyre, sir.” In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman; but then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the lines of his frame were equally harsh and prim. “Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?”

- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

Summary

A summary has these qualities:

- Condensed Time

Summaries condense time. They may cover a month in a single sentence. They may talk about recurring events over a time period, within one paragraph. They may relay a past event (or in some cases, a future event) within a brief moment. They don't happen in real time.

- Explains through Telling

Since the moment isn't happening in real time, the audience is told more than shown what happened. This gives summary a stronger, guiding, narrative hand. Rather than experiencing the passage like the character, it's more like the audience is being guided by a storyteller (generally speaking).

- More Abstract

For those reasons, telling is more abstract. It's more likely to express ideas and concepts, rather than specific experiences.

- Characters and/or Setting may Change Swiftly (or Maybe Not Even Be Present In Some Cases)

A summary may not focus on a specific character or stay in the same setting. It may move quickly through settings or may not even mention a specific setting.

Summary Examples

Mother came home and commiserated with Ender about the monitor. Father came home and kept saying it was such a wonderful surprise, they had such fantastic children that the government told them to have three, and now the government didn't want to take any of them after all, so here they were with three, they still had a Third . . . until Ender wanted to scream at him, I know I'm a Third, I know it, if you want I'll go away so you don't have to be embarrassed in front of everybody. - Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card

John had not much affection for his mother and sisters, and an antipathy to me. He bullied and punished me; not two or three times in the week, nor once or twice in the day, but continually: every nerve I had feared him, and every morsel of flesh in my bones shrank when he came near. There were moments when I was bewildered by the terror he inspired, because I had no appeal whatever against either his menaces or his inflictions; the servants did not like to offend their young master by taking my part against him, and Mrs. Reed was blind and deaf on the subject: she never saw him strike or heard him abuse me, though he did both now and then in her very presence, more frequently, however, behind her back.

- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

When to Use Which

Most novels are better written with more scene than summary. Scenes dramatize the story, so that the audience feels like they are experiencing and participating in it. Scenes are more impactful. Scenes are more likely to stir emotions. Because they are more concrete, they are more likely to stick in the reader's memory.

However, this is not to say all novels are better with more scene than summary. You can indeed find successful books with more summary. This can be particularly useful in books with huge casts and many viewpoint characters, books that take place over a long period of time (such as a character's entire life), or books with powerful, present omniscient narrators. Not all books that rely on summary more than scene are bad.

But most books are better told largely through scene than summary.

And pretty much all novels need some of both.

So when do we use which?

Sometimes I edit passages that are weakened because they are summarized instead of dramatized. Other times I read scenes that offer very little dramatic value and should have been summarized.

Scenes

A good rule of thumb is the more significant the moment, the more likely it needs to be rendered as a scene.

Big turning points and climactic moments should almost always be a scene--whether that turning point relates to character arc, plot, or theme.

This means that the climactic moments of the beginning, middle, and end, should almost always be a scene.

Anything we've been building up to in the primary plotline related to the arc, events, or theme, should probably be a scene.

If you are following a story structure, key moments in that structure should likely be a scene. The inciting incident should likely be a scene, the midpoint should likely be a scene, Plot Point 2 should likely be a scene . . .

Now, in a novel, there may be many plotlines besides the primary. The less important the plotline, the less likely you need all its turning points in scenes (or even on page).

Impactful moments should usually be scenes. If they are summary, sometimes the audience feels cheated. Imagine building up to the climax of a novel, only to have the author summarize it. It's almost always a letdown.

Sometimes newer writers do this sort of thing, because they are intimidated by trying to write the scene. They may feel unsure that they can write it well. Remember, you can edit, and edit, and re-edit the scene to make it better. Daring to write a poor scene and then edit it, will get you further in the long run than avoiding it altogether.

In many genres, you will have what are called "obligatory scenes." These are what they sound like. They need to happen. In a scene.

So in romance, you almost always need to have a first kiss scene. In a murder mystery, you almost always need to have an opening scene where a body is discovered. Obligatory scenes should be scenes, not summary, most of the time.

Summaries

On the other side of the spectrum, we have summary. If an entire novel were written with scenes, it would probably be long and boring. Not everything is important enough to be a scene. And if you make it a scene, it's a flat scene without any real turning point or change. This kills pacing.

Use summary when the audience needs to know the fact that something happened, but it's not important for them to experience it.

For example, the fact that Jacob didn't get much sleep the prior night probably isn't important enough for a full scene, but it might be important for the audience to know for the next scene. It might influence what happens in the next scene. That is a good time to use summary.

Use summary when you need to cover a broader length of time in a shorter amount of space. For example, you may have characters who need to trek to a distant land, which may take months. But the story isn't about the trek itself. Use summary to tell us about the trek, without making the story only about the trek. (Not to mention if the trek was all in scenes, it'd be overly detailed and likely boring.)

Along the same line, summary can sometimes be great for scene transitions--usually when what happened between the scenes is worth mentioning, but not worth dramatizing.

Summary is also important in providing context for the reader. Summary may be used to set up a situation or to provide additional background information that the reader needs in order to interpret what is happening in the story, accurately.

For example, you may summarize a short backstory to explain a character's current behavior.

Scene vs. Showing; Summary vs. Telling

Scene is mostly like showing, and summary is mostly like telling. However, the concepts are slightly different. For example, I may write in a scene "Emily was tired," which would be "telling" but I wouldn't consider it "summary." Just as I wouldn't necessarily consider "I felt angry" summary, so much as I would consider it to be telling.

Likewise, you may have a scene that is largely introspection, which may be showing a character's thought process as he summarizes events through telling sentences.

Yeah, if we get deep, it turns into splitting hairs.

Even between showing and telling, if you want to make yourself really crazy, sometimes you can use summary and telling on a small scale to show something on a big scale. For example, to show that a character has a habit of being late, you may use summary that includes some telling about his morning routine, to cover several such instances. However, one could easily argue that you could simply do a scene that shows him showing up late, and have another character use dialogue that implies this is a common occurrence.

But let's not induce headaches today! My point is, that the boundaries do blur, and things aren't always as clear cut as we make them sound.

Nonetheless, because summary and telling overlap, you can use many of the same technique that we use to write great telling, to write great summary. And rather than rewrite all those techniques, I have them in my article "10 Cheats to Tell Well."

Mixing Scene and Summary

In order to write a great novel, many scenes will include some summary within them. Like I mentioned above, you may need to slip in some backstory information through summary. Or perhaps in the scene, the characters are having dinner, but you want half the scene to be the cooking and the other half to happen while they are eating. Depending on how long the food takes to make, you may need some summarizing: "Don finished putting the toppings on the pizza and then put it in the oven for 30 minutes."

Similarly, if you are going to have a lengthy passage of summary, it's often effective to include scene-like moments--perhaps a paragraph that captures part of a conversation in real time, before going back to summary. Or maybe the summary includes a significant action that would be rendered better with a little more detail, like a half-scene.

In any case, we want to make sure we are using both scene and summary, and perhaps just as important, that we are using them at the right moments.

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writeblr #writing reference #writing tip #fanfic #written #editing

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sukirichi · 3 years

Text

dutifully yours. [01]

Attached to the could’ve been’s of a promised happily ever after with the Crown Prince disguised under a scheme for power and greed, you are torn between choosing your happiness — or abandoning it to fulfill your duty as the future Queen.

→ unedited bcos i’m brave lazy. implied patriarchy. angst in future chapters. pure romance and fluff for now. royalty au. eventual smut. prince naoya !! i love him sm i could cry. this fic will break me, okay. naoya is close to canon but with my twist if that makes sense. drama in future chapters. oh and listen to this while reading <3

→ massive shoutout to my besties for always hyping me and helping me uwu, i present this token of prince naoya being an ideal husband okay cry cry i love him sm im crying. anyways pls enjoy bcos i poured my heart out to this and bcos i want more people in the naoya fucker club :>

one | next (to be posted)

Ever since the day your mother taught you how to read, you’ve had your nose buried in a book. Losing yourself in different worlds, swooning over fictional princes, and fantasizing for a love story ripped out of fairytale itself with such burning, passionate romance – you’d been through it all, dreamt of it all. And yet, you struggled to stop yourself from tugging at your dress.

The tight corset hadn’t even been the main focus of your worries, and neither was the heavy rivière resting on your collarbones.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” Beside you, your mother pursed her lips, fingers decorated with jewels stopping in their movements of fanning herself. The temperature hadn’t been particularly high inside the limousine that evening. You supposed it was the mere sight of you tugging and gulping audibly every now and then, gloved hands running over the hems of your collar.

You ducked your head down. “Sorry, Mother. I can’t help it.”

“Dear, your anxiety is written all over your face,” she sighed, turning your face to her as she cupped your cheeks. Smiling tenderly like a mother always did, your heart felt soothed even by the slightest bit. You wished she could keep holding you like this – like you were a fragile flower she was afraid of breaking; a fragile flower that needed more care handled than most. Tonight, however, you felt a hundred years older. Like you’d accidentally clicked on fast forward and got launched to the future. A future that seemed so unclear yet so...perfect. So right.

“How would the Prince fancy you if you’re sweating bullets like that? It’s not a good look for a marquess’ daughter.”

At the mention of the Crown Prince, your heart sank again. “My apologies, Mother. I’m just rather nervous. It’s the Crown Prince we’re talking about here.”

“He is quite the looker, isn’t he?” she giggled behind her fan, “Strong and handsome, as well.”

“My ladies. You are not fantasizing over the Crown Prince in my presence, are you?”

Crossing her leg over the other, your mother leaned forwards, elbows on her knees as she winked at your father. The marquess had his torso half twisted from the passenger seat, glaring playfully at your mother’s unabashed features. “It is of no seriousness, My Lord. I’m simply easing your daughter’s nerves.”

Your father sighed in worry. “What’s got you so worked up, child? You are beautiful. The Prince would be blind to not notice you.”

Each fibre in your body screamed in desperation for your father to be right. Tonight was not just any other night – the entire Kingdom, including noblewomen, foreign royals, and unwed daughters from honourable families had been invited to the Zen’in Castle for one purpose only: to find his Crown Prince a suitable wife, one that would be fit to be the next Queen as well. As the daughter of the marquess, you’d naturally received the invitation. It felt just like yesterday when the mail arrived and you’d cheered so much in joy the chickens went flying out of their coops, your horses galloping and whinnying at surprise, and now you here – minutes away from the palace where you were soon to be deemed worthy or unworthy to be beside His Highness.

With a shaky smile, you dug your nails into your thighs. “Well, we’ve only met once, Father. I doubt the Prince would remember me.”

“Just smile, darling. You will do great.”

To no one’s surprise, the Zen’in Castle brimmed with people and esteemed guests. Men and women danced with one another as muted chatters and chuckles blended in with the grand royal orchestra, everyone dressed to the nines and making you feel completely out of place.

The moment you’d been welcomed by the knights and led to the palace doors, your dress began to feel tighter than usual, your ribs clenching uncomfortably from the pressure. Your hands had not stopped trembling either, not even when you hid it behind your back and nodded at the people passing by. There were governor-generals, dukes, earls, professors and royal advisors and even families of the royal family’s inner circle of knights. Everyone looked like they belonged here. Chatting amongst one another over the finest of wines or discussing conspiracies on where the Kingdom of Zen’in would be in the next sixty years of the future King’s reign, no one here seemed to be out of place.

Everyone except you.

A warm hand was suddenly placed on the small of your back, making you gasp. Your mother’s smile was nothing short of warm as she held you close to her one last time, leaving a kiss on your forehead. You didn’t even realize how much you shook until she clasped her hands with yours. “Calm down, dear,” she reminded, “You’ll be on your own now. This is where we leave you since we’re not supposed to mingle with potential princesses.”

“Mother!” Your eyes widened in embarrassment. Looking around frantically, you bit your lip in fear someone must’ve heard.

Of course, while it would be no surprise most guests – if not all – hoped that their daughter would be the Crown Prince’s chosen fiancée, it still felt wrong to boldly assume such when you could barely keep up with the events of tonight.

However, your mother merely laughed. “I am proud of you, dear. Never forget that. It doesn’t matter whether you are chosen or not. We’re only here for formality and respect to the King and Queen’s demands.”

“You say that as if the Crown Prince really would not bother with me.”

“We didn’t mean that,” your father cut in, a flute of champagne already nested between his calloused fingers. Ever since you arrived, he’d been snatched away by fellow earls and barons, disappearing into the crowd for a ‘hearty conversation over one’s lands.’ You knew better than that, though. That statement always translated to which leader got to have more chances to wine and dine with the King, to which your family was ridiculously reminded of that you’d been stationed to the most faraway land where even hearing news from the royal papers was but a privilege.

“Just be yourself, alright? And enjoy the party. It’s about time you met with girls your own age and made some friends.”

“I – Father, wait!”

A slender young woman slithered to your side out of nowhere, her golden brown eyes following the silhouettes of your parents. It wasn’t long before they completely disappeared. Left alone with the stunning woman that was – for some reason – dressed in a plain black curve hugging dress too modest for tonight’s appropriateness, you took three steps away in caution. “You must be from way up North,” she noted, her head to the tipped to the side. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

God, was she beautiful. Long, thick eyelashes and short hair chopped in messy yet elegant curves, you struggled to hold her gaze. “Oh, yes, I come from the Terratian Borders. My family is stationed there under His Majesty’s orders.”

She hummed to herself. “The Terratian Borders are mostly forests and fields, no? The last time my family and I visited there, I came across the loveliest dandelions I’ve ever laid eyes on. Shame they died on the way back,” offering her hand – again, bare and empty with decorations yet still littered with faint scars and cuts – she beamed at you. “I’m Mai, by the way. Mai Zen’in.”

Zen’in?

Hands cupping your mouth, you bowed deep until your back ached. “Lady Mai!” you shut your eyes closed, unable to live with the shame. Mai Zen’in; one of the iconic twin pair from the extended Zen’in royal family, both a fashion icon and a legend for being a rumoured female knight. To have her in your presence was an honour. “My apologies for not recognizing you any sooner, Lady Mai!”

“Stand up, I’m not a royal,” she sniggered, “We’re just relatives of the actual monarch, but don’t let the family name fool you. The Crown Prince barely even acknowledges us being of the same blood.”

Albeit hesitant, you followed her gestures of making you stand up. You straightened your back and cleared your throat, fighting the urge to go haywire the moment his name was brought into the conversation. Not only would you be seeing Prince Naoya again in real life for the first time in years, but you’d also made acquaintances with his distant niece. However, his name was spoken with malice.

Frowning, you faced Lady Mai in all seriousness. “Prince Naoya? Why so?” Lady Mai looked at you like you’d grown two heads.

“He’s an ass, that’s why.”

“I-I don’t think he is,” you defended, “The Prince has been nothing but kind to me.”

“I didn’t know he was capable of kindness,” she muttered more so under her breath, low enough you were unsure whether you were supposed to hear it in the first place. Lady Mai then shook her head to herself before stealing a flute from a waiter passing by. Chucking it your way, her face turned dark and grim. “Take it as free advice: stay as far away from his as possible. The Crown Prince is nothing but good news.”

“Is it because he has lots of lovers?” you inquired with a small voice, “Uhm – well – It was an assumption. With a title and handsomeness like that, it would make sense everyone would want to be the Crown Prince’s lover.”

Lady Mai’s lip curled upwards. “Prince Naoya won’t bother with lovers. He is too occupied for that.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Heard from whom?”

“The Royal Declaration from His Majesty himself,” you said, “Was it not the purpose of this ball? To find worthy candidates to be the Crown Prince’s betrothed? His coronation is coming soon.”

“Right. I forgot today was technically a bridal market,” she scratched the edge of her brow, falling silent for a moment. Her eyes scanned the lively crowd for a brief moment – watching with you as everyone laughed and danced to their heart’s content – the grand final event of the routine personal dance with the Crown Prince himself slowly approaching to reality. “You are joining in the festivities, are you not? Later, when he arrives, he shall meet you.”

“I am obligated to as a noble bachelorette, though I doubt His Highness would even look my way. There are far richer noblewomen here and even daughters of duke that would be perfect as his wife. ”

“You may have a point for that,” she hummed to herself, unaware that her agreement to the Crown Prince not paying attention to you left a sting both in your ego and heart. Not that it lasted long, for Lady Mai was already tugged on the arm by another equally fiercely beautiful woman – her older twin, Maki Zen’in. Soon to be governon-general of the Kingdom.

Lady Mai smiled in apology. “I need to go now since I’m not a part of this event. But hey, if ever I come around to visit the Borders again, perhaps you could entertain me?”

“I would be honoured to, Lady Mai.”

“You are sweet and innocent,” it was her sister who spoke this time, glasses perched high on her nose that concealed the wariness of her gaze. “I hope the Crown Prince never gets to your routine.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s nothing; she was talking to herself. Maki does that a lot,” Lady Mai’s forced chuckles were barely heard from the music. “You enjoy the party now. Don’t drink too much lest you want to embarrass yourself in everyone’s eyes and be talk of the Kingdom. Prince Naoya would hate it if you took the attention away from him.”

“Oh, uhm...”

“It’s a joke, Lady Y/N. Relax.”

You bowed once more. “My apologies.”

“The dance is about to begin,” Maki tapped on your shoulder, making you look up right where her eyes zeroed in. And exactly in the middle of the grandiose hall, under the sparkling golden chandeliers where he made all the gold in the world look incomparable next to him, the Crown Prince stood in his fully glory. Blond hair with the ends stained of midnight gelled back to reveal his forehead, the Crown Prince’s beauty never failed to shine. Whether it be in the papers, in the tabloids, in the billboards that you passed on the way to the city, or from way back when you met him for the first time as a naive, innocent teen – Crown Prince Naoya came straight out of a magazine cover.

In the back of your head, you could hear either of the twins murmuring good luck. Maybe both of them had said it – you had no idea. All of your attention, all the sensibility and coherence of your state had been switched the next instant, as if your heart and soul was born for the sole purpose of being bewitched by your Crown Prince.

And as if feeling someone’s gaze on him, the Crown Prince’s eyes trailed over the crowd. Almost boredly, his sharp eyes bounced from one giggling woman to another, the ends of his lips smirking upwards for just the tiniest bit. It must’ve stroked his ego. Until his eyes connected with yours. The Crown Prince’s eyebrows knitted together. You had no idea how you looked in that moment, and quite frankly, you didn’t care. Because the Crown Prince was looking at you, and you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes along with your heart pulsing at the tip of your tongue.

“Let us begin,” his lips moved from the distance, “Play the music. I shall dance with my bride.”

The air shifted in a split second. Murmurs were thrown over the room, women and men alike turning pale. Even the orchestra was stunned from the Crown Prince’s entrance – and it hadn’t even been dramatic to his standards – yet the whole castle fell mum from just a few of his words. A few seconds later, the crowd recomposed itself, and the strings began to dance along with its bows.

You are pushed into the crowd. Nearly colliding into the arms of another, you quietly thank the masked man who was to be your first partner of the night.

All the men joining the dance floor dressed with the intention of making the Crown Prince shine. Prince Naoya stood out from the throng of white as per the colour code, his blood red uniform as both Prince with the golden crest of the military leader pinned to his right breast. The other men meant to be filler partners until all the potential brides got to their designated three minutes with the Prince were all dressed in black, faces covered behind a plain black mask. None were allowed to talk. None were allowed to utter even a word, and so your partner pursed his lips in displeasure at your apology.

Whatever. You just had to wait a few more rounds before the song finished and transitioned into a new one; the song where you’d been informed would be your time alone with the Prince.

You’d been so lost in your head you barely breathed the entire dance. From partner to partner, you blanked. Your heart drummed so wildly in its cage it begged to come out, and strings of apologies were let out each time your masked partners grimaced for a brief second when their hands came in contact with your sweaty ones. Around you, all the lovely women smiled and danced graciously, mouths moving in unreadable conversations shared with the Crown Prince. Not once did you look at the six partners you’ve danced with. Not once did you worry about tripping on your own feet. Not once did you care that some of the masked men held you a little too roughly for your comfort. Your entire reason for existing in that moment was to witness the Crown Prince himself, mirroring his frown that got deeper and deeper with each woman retreating to the sea of people he’d rejected.

Not once did you even think about being one of them – the girls who’ve ducked their heads down as their parents comforted them over not being the chosen one, of bringing ‘dishonour’ to their families that the mighty Crown Prince had deemed them unworthy. Tears streamed down their faces until black ink followed afterwards, lips trembling from silent sobs.

Despite their broken prides – although there was that minority who simply sighed in relief after returning to their own families – no one would dare interrupt the Crown Prince’s dances.

All of these thoughts crossed your mind too late and at the exact time your masked partner pulled away from you, body half bent in a bow with his arm outstretched to the side. Following where he was gesturing at, your eyes met the Crown Prince’s tall and lean stature, a few blond fringes now fallen from his movements.

Even though a thin layer of sweat shone from his face, Prince Naoya remained ethereal.

And like a snake charmed by the musician’s seductive tone, your feet moved on its own. Fingers stretching until it met with the Crown Prince’s large and warm ones, you were now in front of him. With him. Holding him, touching him, meeting him eye for eye and realizing – gold. His eyes burned a deep shade of gold, elegantly rich and heartbreakingly stunning your heart ached.

Before you knew it, your hands began to tremble, feeling as if your body had been corded into a corset three sizes smaller. You could not breathe, and the Crown Prince took notice.

“You are stiff. Do I make you uncomfortable?” Good Saint. If only possible, you would’ve closed your eyes and basked in the deep warmth of his voice. It reverberated from deep within, breathed out with an air of natural authority and profound confidence it made your knees weak. As if sensing his effect on you (though for the wrong reasons, it seemed), Prince Naoya hummed to himself. “This routine shall last for a few minutes before I can let you go, I’m afraid.”

You instantly realized the implications of your silence. “N-not at all, Your Highness! I am honoured to be dancing with you.”

“There is no honour in a choreographed dance. Everyone will dance with me. It’s nothing special.”

Your heart fell. Prince Naoya not only sounded dejected, but detached as well. As if he found no pleasure or specialty in this event, at a time where he had every opportunity to meet his lover, and that this ball was merely a task to be checked off in his already long list of responsibilities. It wasn’t disappointment, per se, but rather melancholy that left a bitter taste in your mouth. Not because Prince Naoya held little to no regards for something you treasured, but because he sounded terribly alone. Like he was simply waiting for it to end out of discomfort.

“It’s special to me, Your Highness,” you blurted out faster than you could stop yourself. For a moment, you feared you may have offended him, but the Crown Prince only laughs.

And when he did – saint, when he laughed – his eyes crinkled into half moons, pearly whites flashing against the bright lights and his whole chest shook with amusement.

You’d never seen him smile this way before.

Prince Naoya’s laughter didn’t cease. Around you, your gut instincts told that people were now beginning to look; the Crown Prince’s deep rumbles of laughter sounded exquisitely like music as well, after all. “ Is it special to you because you are now dancing and within the Crown Prince’s proximity? As much as I presume how exhilarating it might be for those who mostly see me in the papers and in the tabloids, I assure you, dancing with your Prince is not an honour. Especially when you are all sent the invitations based on your status and not your worthy traits.”

“It’s special to me,” you mumbled, growing shy all of a sudden when the Crown Prince nodded at you to continue. “Because...because it reminds me of the first time we met.”

The Crown Prince hummed in amusement.

“We have met before?”

“Yes, Your Highness. I’m from the Terratian Borders – my father is a loyal servant of His Majesty. You visited the borders when you were eighteen and I was sixteen. Do you remember it, Your Highness? You stormed in my private library.”

Indeed, the young barely-out-of-his-teens Crown Prince barged into your home’s library years ago. You were not previously informed he and his parents would be visiting since they arrived wordlessly, so you were stuck in your chambers as usual, killing time if not for sleeping and tending to the animals. Perched on a ladder, you attempted to reach for a book on the upper shelf when your foot slipped beneath you. At the age of sixteen, you were dramatic enough to say your life flashed before your eyes. You would’ve screamed then had strong arms not appeared out of nowhere, the Crown Prince staring at you with wide, golden eyes as they were now, his breathy rasped as he asked, are you okay, my lady?

The mere recollection of that fateful memory had your cheeks warming in delight. “You were so charming and heroic back then. Even when I had no idea you were a royal, I would have still believed you to be princely,” you said rather absentmindedly, blinking once then twice at your words. “Of course, it’s understandable if you do not remember, Your Highness!”

“My apologies. I do not remember, though Terratia is a wonderful place. Such a shame I was not informed beforehand they had a lovely daughter.”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” you cheered back, cheeks and jaw beginning to ache from how wide you were smiling. But could anyone blame you? You felt absolutely silly that you were a breath away from passing out minutes ago, and now here you were, dancing with the Crown Prince and sharing memories with him like it was a daily occurrence. The words it’s true love when you feel at peace with them suddenly rang back at your head from that latest romance novel you read, and you turned away, hoping the Crown Prince would not read your thoughts to your face. However, Prince Naoya’s lips pursed into a thin line, all traces of humour now disappeared. “I’m sorry – should I not have laughed?”

“No, I don’t mind,” he mused with his jaw locked tight, “I just haven’t seen anyone react that way before.”

“Like what?”

“Like my words meant the entire universe to them. I may dare even say you look terribly in love, though I cannot blame you on that one, can I?”

Prince Naoya shook his head the minute the words left his mouth. Forcing himself to believe it couldn’t be real, perhaps, you truly did not know anymore. Your only plan for tonight was to see the Crown Prince and get to live out your dream of seeing him once more even for just a brief moment before you travelled back home while he married another, and yet – “Your Highness, I’m in love with you. I have always been since the day we met.”

You could no longer stop the words. The voice at the back of your head begged you to shut up and not cause a scene, that your time had passed up and people were staring, yet you remained in his arms no matter how much you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

“Please do not misunderstand me, Your Highness. I did not come here to attempt to steal your heart and be your wife, though I will admit I have dreamt of meeting you again for so many moons. I...I only want to tell you this. That I love you and even though it was a brief moment, I think the love I’ve always read about felt real and possible for the first time in my life,” chuckling nervously, you gather to courage to face him, adoration shining for the Crown Prince stood shock still before you, however stunned he may be. “I love you, Your Highness. I love you. And to whoever lucky woman you choose to be your betrothed, I hope she takes care of you and showers you with all the affection you are deserving of. You would make a great King. So God help his Crown Prince, and may you lead us all into a better world.”

Prince Naoya did not budge a muscle. His eyes remained hard on yours, breath warm as his nostrils fumed. With each passing second that he did not speak, you grew restless and tugged your arm away from his hold with a disgraceful smile.

You’d truly crossed your line. The repercussions to be faced for this impoliteness would destroy your family’s honour. You had to leave. “Your Highness? The song has changed. It’s time to let go—”

The Crown Prince inched close enough until his hair tickled your cheeks, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as he pulled you close, close enough that your lower bodies touched. Skin ablaze with heat, you dared not move an inch. “Do you mean it?” he demanded lowly, his fingers ghosting over your wrist to hold you in place. “Do you truly love me? Not for what I have, not for who I was born to be, but me as a person itself?”

Closing your eyes to shudder in a deep breath, you exhaled. “Of course, Your Highness. Even if you were not born as a Prince, I’m sure I would’ve still loved you in a different universe.”

“But I do not know you.”

“We don’t have to know each other, Your Highness, and we never will. Once you let me go, I’ll return to the shadows where I belong, and I will continue supporting you until the day of your coronation.”

“And if I refuse to let you go?” he clicked his tongue, “What will you do then?”

The Crown Prince’s spicy perfume must be an aphrodisiac or hypnotizer of sorts. Everything he did messed with your mind that it was too late – the music had stopped and people were no longer drinking or chatting. Everyone’s eyes were on you and the Crown Prince. You could only imagine how controversial this position must be; with his lips trailing dangerously close to that sensitive spot in your neck where you nearly moaned. You really needed to leave.

“P-people are looking, Your Highness. You do not want this affair with someone you won’t choose—”

“Who said I won’t choose you?” Finally, he pulled away. But Prince Naoya never once tore his gaze away from yours, nor did he allow you to look at anyone but him as he caresses your jaw so light and feathery you wondered if he was truly there.“Who said I haven’t laid my eyes on you the moment you walked in here? This ball is for naught because of you, Lady Y/N. I’ve already made my choice, and you helped me confirm it as soon as you danced with me.”

“Your Highness...”

“Look at me,” he ordered, your eyes flitting from his pinkish lips to his sharp nose and then to his fox-like gaze. Only this time, Prince Naoya was no longer harsh. “Don’t be scared.”

“But they’re looking.”

“You are with me, of course they’ll look,” he teased, “They wish to be you right now. But ignore them and dance one more time with me.”

It wasn’t like you had a choice, but did it matter? One nod from him was all it took before the orchestra fumbled back to their spots and a new song played, Ode of Moonlight Lovers, and the Crown Prince was guiding you back to where he had originally danced with you.

From the corners of your eyes, you caught a glimpse of your parents with their mouths gaped open; your father looking like he was on the verge of passing out. However, you felt nothing but joy, nothing but the adrenaline pumping through your veins as he danced and twirled you in his arms. When the music stopped and you were both panting for air with silly smiles on your face, it dawned on you that you were with the Prince. No, rather, it was only you and the Prince alone. Even in the sea of people whose faces began to blur, he prevailed crystal clear.

You could recognize him anywhere, find him everywhere.

Prince Naoya stepped impossibly closer until your chests touched, hearts beating as one. Cupping your jaw, he was near enough that he swallowed all your shaky breaths with a small, teasing smile like you both shared a secret the entire world could not know.

“Do I still make you nervous?”

Laughing, you nodded. “Yes, Your Highness. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“It’s beloved now,” he corrected, face inching closer and closer to a point you could count the number of his lower lashes. “And what do lovers do to seal their union?”

“M-Marriage?”

“Close, but this is much better.”

If anyone were to tell you that you would have a love story ripped out straight from a fairytale, you would’ve laughed at their faces. You were no Cinderella, nor were you a goddess of beauty that could’ve possibly caught the Crown Prince’s eye. Yet, his soft lips were on yours, kissing you with as much passion you could only dream of that you cried.

Strong hands guiding the back of your waist, Prince Naoya dipped you lower to the ground – the grand of finish of his dance. He had chosen his bride.

The crowd cheered and rejoiced all around you, making you smile into the kiss. Fisting his collar to bring him closer to yours, your mouth burst into metaphorical fireworks as soon as his tongue mingled with yours for an experimental taste. He was bitter yet sweet; expensive wine resting on his tongue, yet a delicate vanilla sat heavily on his soft lips that molded with yours. It was a taste you could spend forever being addicted on. And you were crying, crying so much your chest ached and the Prince’s cheeks grew damp from yours. You’d dreamt of this for so long, too long now.

Prince Naoya slowly pulled you away, his thumb wiping the tears away from the pads of your cheeks with tenderness in his touch. However, the Prince was not satisfied. The crowd whooped as he leant down to kiss your forehead. “You are mine now, my princess.”

Looping his hands with yours, the Crown Prince led you out of the castle. The crowd parted naturally to make way for the new couple, and you were left staring at his broad back and the tuft of blond hair where you’d soon find out how soft it would be. Sending one last glance to your crying parents, you waved goodbye. You had no idea where the Crown Prince would take you but you were already bunching your dress up, heart completely filled with trust you did not question it. What mattered tonight and for the rest of your life was that it felt right. That it was him – your beloved Prince Naoya Zen’in and soon to be husband – that you’d follow through the moon and back.

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tooktheladdedgbtq · 3 years

Text

....and the Oscar goes to.. | Tom Holland X Male!actor reader.

A/N: this was just something I wrote because I got inspired I guess. Happy Pride everyone!

——————————————

You couldn’t decide whether time was slipping through your fingers too quickly or if this had been the longest night you’d ever experienced.

seconds slowed to a crawl while you tried to gather yourself before it was your turn to take the stage. You were nervous. Not about being at the oscars or presenting for the first time. Not even about being nominated for your leading role in the second installment of a critically acclaimed trilogy. No, you’d been used to these sorts of things, you’d been an actor since you were a very young kid. Starting on television before film, and you even got to hold the Emmy the show had won when you had just turned a teenager.

No, you were nervous about who exactly you’d be presenting to. Of the five nominees and potential winners, only one could cause such an intensive feeling in your chest. Only one could awaken a sense of dread that battled with a feeling of intensive happiness mixed with anticipation, and it was Tom.

You’d known each other for years and had come to fall in love. You’d met as young co-stars on set and eventually grew into an inseparable friendship that progressed into something far more. Neither of you were sure when the feelings started but it felt like they’d always been there and you weren’t exactly complaining.

Your blissfulness with Tom was beautiful but short lived. After almost a year of being official you both agreed to take a break from the relationship. Unbeknownst to Tom you were just agreeing to save face and hadn’t pried for an answer out of fear of being hurt. You just accepted that this was how things were now, and took a step back.

You’d still kept in contact with him. It was hard not to. He was still your best friend. But whether it was the business of work or something a little more awkward, distance grew between you both as the multi-hour long facetime calls and text threads became once-a-week check-ins to just make sure you were alive and okay.

Time had passed, and you didn’t have a clue what you could possibly say to him now. You certainly didn’t want to ruin his special night. But you’d missed him so much and felt like you would implode at the first sign that he’d be interested in getting back together with you. But you also didn’t want to seem desperate or needy if he’d moved on. You didn’t want to slip and say those three words again in the moment.

Father time showed you no mercy as the sand in his hourglass suddenly shifted from a slow-motion drip to a flood. The seconds you’d spent daydreaming of your past with Tom and pondering about the your potential future had passed and left you with little time to gather yourself before presenting. still you shook your hands, arms, and lastly shoulders, putting all your worries aside and waited for introduction from the host.

Before long you’d been counted in to walking on stage, and heard the host over the microphone. “Ladies and Gentlemen, to present the award and introduce the nominees for Best Supporting Actor, please welcome one of this year’s nominees and one of our generation’s greatest talents: Y/F/N Y/L/N.”

The applause erupts from the audience like a revved up engine as you took center but it was nothing compared to the standing ovation you’d receive later on that night when receiving your own award for Best Actor.

You were stood promptly center staged with the towering Oscar statue reflecting onto the black stage floor beneath your feet. Your outfit was alluring and would surely be the next hot topic which is rare for male stars. You looked like a million bucks. Everyone knew it, most of all, Tom.

You smile and wave as you approach the microphone, your teeth shining a blinding white, and wait for a hush from the crowd.

You chuckle lightly as a few hoots and hollers sound out as the cheers subside.

You eye the monitor across the room and start to read, your nerves dying down as your jokes land and laughter echoes around the room.

As you finish the introduction, clips start to show behind you to accompany the names of the nominees as the cameras catch a glimpse of each of their reactions.

You couldn’t help but notice how tough the competition was as each actor was called. Steven Yuen playing a detective in a thrilling murder mystery. John David Washington in a fictional film playing the world’s first black astronaut aiding in the discovery of lovecraftian horrors. Andrew Garfield for his role as a psychotic narcissist and genius businessman. Oscar Issac acting in a sci fi space opera asking questions of existentialism.

Finally, you had to withhold your smile as you called out the last name. He had returned to his Billy Elliot roots being nominated for his role in a astonishing musical romance film. “Tom Holland.” You’d been ecstatic when he’d told you about it as you’d always recommend he tried it again since it made him so happy in his younger years.

You spot him a few rows from the stage, making eye contact with him and wondering if he was thinking about you the way you had done with him earlier. You couldn’t help but notice him squirming in his chair and fidgeting with his hands. Selfishly asking yourself if this wasn’t just about the award but about having you present it to him.

Seeing you here after what felt like an eternity apart and your reunion potentially being the greatest achievement of both your careers. Making it the greatest night of your lives, that is, if you were still together. But you were still best friends. That’s what mattered. So you push your self centered thoughts aside and shoot him a small wave that he returns with a smile and thumbs up. letting you know he was okay and that you could continue as the camera pans back to you capturing your not so hidden giddiness.

This awarded some small oos and aahs from the crowd as your relationship with him had been a wholly celebrated one. especially among your marvel peers.

You’re handed an envelope and statue as the music ends and the applause dies down and you take one final glare into the camera before beginning to open the envelope.

“....and the Oscar goes to,” you take a peek at the crowd and see some of the nominees holding hands with loved ones. others plainly

awaiting your next words with bated breath. The anticipation shone on everyone’s faces. Even those that weren’t nominated. Your not-so-hidden grin giving away the answer mere milliseconds before his name escaped your lips. “Tom Holland!”

Tom shot up with a shared expression of shock and happiness on his face. Pecking his mother on the cheek as she wipes the tears of pride from her eyes. His best mate Harrison gives him a quick embrace and a pat on the back before he moves on to shake hands with the director and smile at everyone cheering him on as he gradually moves toward the stage still completely baffled at the victory.

As he walks towards you in his pink pastel colored suit and brown leather dress shoes you can’t help but swell with an overwhelming feeling of joy having been here to share this career defining moment with him. You thought about how far you’d both come to get here and almost started tearing up remembering all you’d been through together.

He skipped up the miniature steps and blanketed you with both arms. You didn’t want it to end as you hadn’t felt it in a while. You threw your arms around his neck and he tightens his hold around your torso. Before you could even process them, your blunt thoughts spill out as whispers.

“I’m so incredibly proud of you. you deserve this and so much more.” you hear a small chuckle escape him as he responds. “I am trying not to cry y’know mate?” a wolf whistle comes from the crowd as you apologize for being so sappy and before he can tell you off for it you hand him his award and shove him off toward the microphone.

As he takes center stage you stand off to the side to watch him give his acceptance speech. He pauses and takes a second to gather himself before he starts talking straight from his heart with nothing prepared.

“Um, Wow. I really can’t believe this is really happening and I probably still won’t believe it happened tomorrow. Just.. wow.” his words were filled with that charmingly British accent you’d come to love so much.

“First I would like to thank my mother, without whom of course, I would not be here. I would like to thank the academy and everyone who worked on this movie from the producers and camera men, make-up and costumes, to our wonderful writers, composer, back up dancers and vocalists, and of course my friends, my co-star and the director Damien Chazelle.” whom he gestures to sitting in the second row. “I share this with all of you and I can’t thank you enough for awarding me with the opportunity to create something I love so much.”

He thanks the other nominees before turns towards you to end his speech. you felt your heart in your hands when you saw his big brown puppy eyes dart in your direction with an intensive glare of admiration.

“last but most importantly, I want to thank the inspiration for all of the love songs I sung in the film and the reason I decided to take the role. The person standing here on my right.”

Your jaw drops and your eyes widen when his words hit you like a speeding semi. you realize that he’d just called you his muse in so many words. the inspiration behind the love songs in the film no less. Meaning that with every lovestruck note his character sung he was reminded of you. All that time spent worrying if the distance between you two would cause him to forget about you, or if he’d maybe moved on and found somebody else. But no such thing had happened. He was relating his character’s longing in the film to his longing for you this entire time and that made your heart do a backflip.

You blush and cover your still ajar mouth with your fist whilst trying not to pay attention to the crowd who’s attention was fully focused on you.

He takes a deep sigh before continuing. “Y/N you’re not only the reason I took this role, but you’re the reason I was able to play it with such sincerity. You’ve been a unwavering beacon of support throughout my career in general but here you really gave me the inspiration for something special. He faces the audience again as the all follow his words with whispers of how adorable you both were. “from reading lines together in the middle of the night, to keeping me company when i’m on the brink of a meltdown.” It was all true and it only made you miss you relationship more and you found it difficult to hold back your tears.

“Y/N is the kind of best friend everybody needs, the kind of partner everybody deserves, and the person I’m so incredibly lucky to have known for so long. ..and I still can’t believe he never figured out the lyrics were all about him, It was kind of obvious-” the audience laughed you’re so close to swooning as he turns toward you again. “But, with all my heart, I love you, Y/N. Always will.” you feel as if you’re floating.

He shifts to the crowd one last time to say a final thank you before you both walk off stage one arm around one another’s shoulders. You have a short but sweet conversation backstage with him where reassures you that everything he said on stage was true and completely unscripted. He wants to talk more but knows your category is coming soon so he asks for a later opportunity and you agree before returning to your seat in the crowd.

The rest of the night flew by with you winning the award for best actor and receiving the biggest applause of the night. Tom joined in the standing ovation. You thanked everybody involved in making the film, the academy, and squeezed a little joke directed towards Tom that garnered a shared laugh from both him and the audience. You were the last award of the night and after the celebrations it was time to return to your place, where Tom was waiting for you. Wanting to talk about everything that had happened not just tonight but everything leading up to it. He also hoped you’d kept a spot open in your heart for him to return to.

#tom holland x you #tom holland x male reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland gay imagine #tom holland x male! reader #tom holland fanfiction

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mothandpidgeon · 3 years

Text

REPUTATION - Chapter 1

Pairing: Din Djarin x fem!reader

Words: 3615

Rating: T

Warnings: slowest of burns, gender swapped characters, TOUCHING HANDS, no us of y/n

Summary: After scandal damages your reputation, you are finished with society. But a mysterious bachelor by the name of Mr. Djarin has a reputation of his own. And you are determined to keep yourself from getting mixed up with him.

A/N: So after THAT LOOK I know we are all working on our Darcy fics. I feel very intimidated to give it a go when so many talented writers are going to be doing it better but I really haven’t been able to think about anything else.

Also please forgive any historical inaccuracies. I hate those even when they’re on purpose so let’s just agree to ignore them.

And thanks @pascalslittlebrat for taking a look at this and listening to all of my feelings.

MASTERLIST

You used to enjoy going to balls. You used to feel excitement when you got dressed in a fine white gown, your hair set elegantly with little silk flowers. Your heart would race when you would arrive and see all of the gentlemen in their finery. And dancing. There was a time when you could stay on your feet all night, drinking in the attention of all the eligible bachelors.

Those days were long gone. Now you felt a rock in the pit of your stomach the entire time. You counted the moments until you could leave. You couldn’t even bother to put on a pleasant expression, spending entire evenings sullen and taciturn. But at least this was the last ball you had to drag yourself to this season.

You had been forced to spend yet another season in town. This time you had the company of your younger cousin Julia, though her older sister Emma was a difficult chaperone. And tonight you were being hosted by Captain Charles Dune and his wife Lady Georgiana Karga. They threw wonderful parties– at least you had enjoyed them when you enjoyed those things. It was a masquerade ball which meant Julia had picked out a dainty little mask for you to wear. You couldn’t be bothered to choose one yourself but Julia had an eye for this sort of thing. And you liked the creamy white bow that she tied into your hair.

Julia was looking forward to tonight. She was very popular despite being related to you, containing all of the traits a man would want in a wife– good looks, excellent conversational skills, and a talent at the piano forte. She had a number of young men constantly calling on her and her dance card was practically full before she had even gotten into the carriage.

“You look so pretty!” she insisted, though she was probably admiring the work she had done to make you presentable.

Emma was looking forward to being finished with you. She had been married for three years and fancied herself an authority on the subject. She spent much of her time lecturing you on the proper way to comport yourself. Tonight she was just trying to get you to quit sulking.

“Would you at least try to be sociable?” Emma requested with a frown.

“I don’t much see the point,” you huffed. “Do you really believe I’ll get a proposal at the last ball of the season?”

“Lady Georgiana has invited an old friend of the captain’s,” Emma encouraged. “Mr. Djarin. She says he’s quite admirable.”

You rolled your eyes. You both knew you were headed for spinsterhood. Emma had lost her mind if she thought that she was going to pawn you off on some aged, paunchy bachelor.

The ball went exactly as you had expected. You watched Julia dance and laugh. You stood by as Emma talked animatedly when she wasn’t giving you sharp looks. Though there were gentlemen without partners, no one asked you to dance aside from Captain Dune and a few of the unlucky young men he could press into service.

Even now at the end of the season, where so many engagements had been made, you could still feel the eyes on you, the whispers behind hands. It was as if they thought the masks covered their looks of derision. You knew what they were saying, why they snickered and turned away.

It was all because of your broken engagement to Mr. Vanth. There was no returning from a situation like that. You had been cast aside and all of the ton could enjoy surmising the reasons. Your reputation was in shambles.

But it wasn’t the fact that he had gone and married some heiress not two months after he’d given you up that made it all so painful. What had really destroyed you was the fact that you’d let yourself love him. He wasn’t the best choice though he was handsome and had enough income to keep you comfortable. But you had given your heart to him and he had crushed it. And you looked like an utter fool for it.

For some reason, tonight it all stung. You’d learned to drown out the comments and ignore the sideways glances. But here you were, closing yet another season, as single as the day you’d come out. You’d begged your poor mother to let you stay at home in the country so that you wouldn’t have to suffer these indignities. It was pathetic that you had even shown up in London. But she had insisted, had assured you that you were still desirable, still attractive and spirited.

You certainly didn’t feel that way now. You snatched up a glass of wine from a nearby valet and drank it down in nearly a single gulp. It did little to soothe your nerves.

You needed air. You took another glass and sped towards the garden. The noise and music floated out here but the fresh air was cool and the garden looked quite empty, the vacant pathways lit by torches.

You’d once been so much fun. You’d laughed and smiled. You’d had no worries about your future. Now, not only were you a laughing stock but you would be lucky if you could rely on your cousin’s generosity for the rest of your days lest you end up in the poor house.

Tears were welling up in your eyes. You tore the mask off of your face to wipe them away. With your vision clouded and in the dim of the garden, you didn’t see the man that was standing in the shadows until you’d run right into his back.

You’d hit him with enough force to knock you back a few paces but he hardly flinched. He was tall and broad shouldered and he turned to look at you with curiosity. He was alone, thank heavens. He wore a black tailcoat and under that a waist coat that looked like silver and shined like silk. You didn’t recognize him but, of course, he was wearing a mask like all of the other guests. His was rendered in the same silver fabric with a slim slit for his eyes. A scalloped piece of fabric fell from the bottom of the mask down to his chin so you couldn’t see anything of his face other than his dark eyes.

Once you’d regained your balance you began to stutter an apology.

“Forgive me, sir,” you stammered. “I must mind my step.”

The stranger didn’t say anything, he just continued to look you up and down, the torch light reflected in his eyes. His hair was a mess of dark curls. His stature was imposing and incredibly still. You were so shaken that you suddenly realized how you looked, your face stained with tears and eyes glassy. You felt your cheeks burn with even more embarrassment.

Just as you opened your mouth to give some explanation, a voice came from behind you.

“Djarin! There you are!” Captain Dune called out, as jovial as ever.

You did your best to wipe the tears from your cheeks while the masked man turned his attention away.

Captain Dune sauntered down the path with his wife on his elbow. He was a dark haired, stocky man who still looked quite dashing in his dress uniform. He had been a hero of the Nile and served with your father before his ship had been lost. His round face was adorned with a black mask.

“Ah! I see you’ve met the young lady I told you about,” Dune said.

Lady Georgiana’s bright eyes looked between the two of you from under her leather mask. She was a beautiful woman with dark skin and a wide smile. She had always been kind to you even after the disastrous affair with Mr. Vanth.

“My dear, allow me to introduce Mr. Djarin,” Lady Georgiana said. “He is a very good friend.”

Mr. Djarin gave a tight bow when she introduced you but barely murmured a, “How do you do?”

“What are you doing hiding out here, Djarin? The dancing is inside!” Dune teased.

Mr. Djarin gave a chuckle but he didn’t sound amused.

“Why don’t you ask this young lady for a dance? I’m sure she would lower herself to stand up with you,” the captain continued with a wink.

“I’d better not. Please, you’ll have to excuse me. I should retire,” Mr. Djarin said, his voice deep and raspy.

Your eyes fell to the ground and you swallowed hard. You hoped in the darkness of the garden, Lady Georgiana didn’t catch your upset. Clearly Captain Dune had told him everything about you. Why else would this man be so impolite?

“Oh come now. It’s early, yet,” the captain protested.

“Forgive me. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” he bowed and took his leave.

“My dear,” Lady Georgiana tried, “you’ll have to forgive Mr. Djarin. He has lived alone for so long that he sometimes forgets his manners.”

You gave her a smile, clenching your jaw so that you would not cry.

“I just had a splendid idea!” Lady Georgiana exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “You should come stay with us at Nevarro Hall. We leave next week. It would be great fun. I do find that part of the country so diverting.”

“You are too kind but I couldn’t impose,” you said politely. You had a feeling this offer only came because Georgiana felt responsible for her friend’s slight.

“Nonsense! You’re quite right that is a grand idea!” the captain agreed.

It was agreed that Lady Georgiana would write to your mother to inform her of the invitation. You knew she wouldn’t disagree considering how kind the Dunes were and how generous an invitation it was. Once the matter was settled, Captain Dune insisted you return to the party and you reluctantly slunk back inside.

Julia was with a gaggle of some friends when you returned to the ballroom. There was some excitement going on between them.

“Did you see him, Lucy?” one of the girls asked.

“I was introduced,” Lucy squealed. “It is a shame he was not here earlier in the season.”

You realized they were talking about Mr. Djarin and you felt yourself frowning.

“You’re not happy with Mr. Calican?” Julia laughed. Lucy had accepted his proposal just yesterday.

“No, of course!” she scoffed.

“What was he like?” Julia asked.

“I’ve heard he has a fine estate,” Lucy said.

“Oh, he was terribly handsome,” the first girl craned her neck to try and spot Mr. Djarin.

You wanted to laugh. You had also been introduced to Mr. Djarin but there was no way of knowing how handsome he was beneath that mask. You might have even ventured to tell them that but Emma joined the group looking disgruntled.

“I have learned some most unsettling news about Mr. Djarin,” she said. “He is traveling with a child who is in his care.”

“What about that offends you so?” Julia rolled her eyes.

“That is just it, Julia. I am told that this young boy is not merely Mr. Djarin’s ward. He is, in fact, his natural child.” This last part she said in a scandalized whisper.

This raised quite a few eyebrows but you furrowed your own.

“You are told?” You responded. “By whom?”

You knew the rumors that had circulated about yourself and had grown to absolutely despise and distrust gossip.

“I have it on good authority,” Emma said, which meant that some busybody had told her.

You shook your head. You hated that you felt the need to defend Mr. Djarin after he’d been so rude to you. If he had a child out of wedlock, one that he paraded around shamelessly, then what right did he have to rebuff you? You reminded yourself that this was merely hearsay. And no one deserved to be slandered like that.

But when you saw the way the other girls eyed you, you remembered yourself. If you protested too much, it would only speak to your own reputation. So you let them prattle on and as soon as you could slip away, you did, and spent the rest of the evening counting the minutes until you could leave and fall into bed.

After such an excruciating time in town, you were happy to be going anywhere else and, selfishly, you were glad that you didn’t need to spend a long carriage ride hearing Julia go on and on about how much she would miss being in town.

Nevarro Hall was situated on a gorgeous estate in a quiet part of the countryside. Lady Georgiana had given you a well appointed room with a view of the grounds. There was a beautiful garden with a fountain in the middle and, beyond that, a manicured lawn. You could see down to the lake and, past that, the tall trees. You spent a week walking the grounds with Lady Georgiana.

You loved to draw and you could set yourself in some corner of the garden and sketch the flowers for hours on end. It was such a wonderful change from the constant noise and hustle of town– the endless parties and calls, Emma herding you around like a prized cow. When the weather was fair, Lady Georgiana would have tea set outside and she and the captain would ask for a tour through your sketchbook and kindly remark on your talents.

“Perhaps you will create a likeness of the captain, my dear,” Lady Georgiana suggested. “If he will sit still enough for you.”

The captain laughed at that remark as the valet presented him with a letter.

“Very good! It seems Djarin will be joining us tomorrow! His business in town is finished,” he said.

You tried to hide your displeasure. You had no interest in sitting through dinners and excruciating evenings with Mr. Djarin. But you had little choice in the matter. And the captain and Lady Karga had been such generous hosts, you wouldn’t insult them by cutting your visit short.

You decided that you would be as polite as necessary but keep away from him as much as possible. This was wise, you told yourself, because your reputation couldn’t suffer any more difficulties. There were plenty of people that would jump at the chance to make even a passing association with Mr. Djarin into a scandal. But, of course, there was still a part of you that smarted at the way he had dismissed you in your very first encounter. You couldn’t be prevailed upon to be pleasant to a man that was so insulting. And so you would not.

Luckily, the first two days, it was easy to avoid Mr. Djarin entirely. The captain had taken him out riding or shooting or some such activity men enjoyed and they had dined out. Lady Georgiana had become a dear companion to you but she had begun to spend far too much time hinting at how much she liked the new guest. You would merely nod and smile and let your mind wander when she started to tell you how agreeable Mr. Djarin was or how he had been such a kind friend to her father.

On the third day, you had complained of a headache so you could excuse yourself from breakfast. After you had the tea and toast that Lady Georgiana had sent up to your room, you insisted a walk would be good for you and you set out across the grounds with your sketchbook.

You decided the stables were a good place to be left alone. It wasn’t like anyone would be looking for you there and, save the horses, there was nobody there. You found a little wooden chair and sat down to draw the horses and tack.

There was a beautiful black mare with white whiskers around her snout that you were sketching when you heard a noise. It was a funny little squeal. You thought you had imagined it until you heard it again. It had come from the empty horse stall at the very end and when you set down your sketchbook to investigate, you found a little boy sitting in the hay.

“Hello,” you said to him.

He smiled up at you. He looked incredibly sweet with chubby little cheeks. His ears seemed too big for his head and his eyes, too, were big and round. He wore a little brown suit with a delicate ruffle around the neck that was now covered in mud and hay.

“What are you doing in here?” you asked him, though he seemed too small to answer.

He babbled at you and held out something in his hand.

“What’s that?”

The child leaned forward, stretching towards you, and dropped it into your hand. It was a little silver ball that jingled like it had a bell within.

“Thank you,” you chuckled.

You shook it and it made a tinkling sound. He clapped his pudgy hands together, then planted them on the ground, and carefully got to his feet. He continued to yammer on as he tottered towards you, falling on his behind once, but determined to reach you on his own.

“Grogu!” You heard a voice from the path outside that you recognized. “Grogu!”

The boy scampered out of the stable and right up to the boot of Mr. Djarin.

“Where have you been, lad? They’re turning the whole house over looking for you,” he said.

He scooped the little boy up, holding his whole body in the crook of his arm, a wide hand grasping the boy’s calf. Grogu put a dirty hand up to Mr. Djarin’s chin and he laughed softly.

Now that you had the benefit of seeing him without a mask, you realized Mr. Djarin was, indeed, quite handsome. He had full lips and a prominent nose. His skin was a shade of gold that complimented his dark eyes. His starched collar met a square jaw that was dotted with stubble. In the sunlight, you could see that his soft curls and thick sideburns were threaded with grey hairs. The smile that spread over his features was so warm, you wished you could capture it in your sketchbook.

This was the infamous child, then. You saw little resemblance between Mr. Djarin and the lad but he held him so tenderly, it made you wonder if the rumors hadn’t been true.

That’s what you were pondering when the boy turned his attention back to you, pointing with a plump little finger. Mr. Djarin’s whole body stiffened when he saw you, his eyes turning sharp.

“Good morning,” you said with a curtsy.

His jaw clenched and he nodded.

“He was playing,” you tried, tilting your head back towards the stable.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I was drawing the horses,” you explained.

His head tilted just slightly.

“Is that his name? Grogu?” You asked when Mr. Djarin failed to speak.

“Yes,” he said.

You smiled. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Grogu.”

You put out your hand and the lad wrapped his fingers around one of yours.

“Ebba!” he cried.

You laughed. When you glanced at Mr. Djarin he was looking at you with an expression you could only describe as fear. Your smile faltered.

“I take it your business was concluded. In a satisfactory manner, I hope?” you inquired politely.

His brow furrowed momentarily and he opened his mouth and then set Grogu down at his feet.

“Yes. I-” he cleared his throat. “Please, you must forgive me for my behavior at the masquerade. Lady Georgiana said that I offended you. That was not my intention.”

You felt heat in your cheeks once again, embarrassment mixed with anger. You couldn’t believe he had to be told that he had acted like an ass. “Not to worry, sir. My pride has already been damaged so thoroughly, what is but one more slight?”

The look that crossed his face was absolute horror. You would have apologized for speaking so plainly but you frankly didn’t care. What right did he have to judge you? To apologize like you were so pitiful when here he was with his love child. You knew what men like Mr. Djarin were like and you’d learned to keep a wide berth.

“I- I should tell them that I’ve found him,” Mr. Djarin said. “Good day.”

He turned to go back up the path.

“Wait!” you called.

You blushed when you realized how impolite it sounded. Mr. Djarin turned carefully but said nothing. You approached him, painfully aware of the way he stared at you. It was difficult to meet his eye. You swallowed and held out the child’s ball to him. Mr. Djarin put out his hand and you placed it in his palm. As you did, your fingertips brushed his hand and you shivered. His skin felt rough and his palm was so large compared to your own. Your breath caught and, for some reason, you wished he would close his fingers around yours. You quickly withdrew your hand.

The boy reached out for the ball with a coo.

“Much obliged,” Mr Djarin managed. He was still looking at you with intense concentration.

Your chest felt tight.

“I’ll let them know at the house,” you stuttered and after a quick curtsy you were rushing back up the path.

--- Chapter 2

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oitommothetease · 3 years

Text

Invisible String (9/?)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2k words

You weren't a morning person, hell, you weren’t even a person in the morning. Therefore, when you woke up to two kids playing with your hair and jumping on your bed, you wanted to strangle them or shove them on the floor. But again, you loved those little demons so you just groaned loudly, clearly irritated and you decided to keep your eyes closed, hoping that your ignorance will make them leave you alone. You squeezed your eyes shut and didn't open them until you heard a familiar voice chuckling.

“Carol told me you aren't a morning person, but this-” James didn't finish his sentence, his lips breaking into a cheeky grin, and as much annoyed as you were at his teasing, you kind of thought he looked gorgeous. Who looked so gorgeous this early in the morning? A smile made its way to your face and you instantly wiped it off, feigning offense.

“Carol? You're already on a first-name basis with my sister?”

“Aw, don't worry, doll. I'm just trying to be friendly with your family or should I say my future family as your mother reminded me ten minutes ago,” he pestered, moving towards you to hand you the cup of coffee in his hand. Bucky winked teasingly when you accepted it, and you mumbled a ‘thank you’.

That pet name made your stomach do some somersaults and you didn't trust yourself enough to speak. It's not like the first time he called you ‘doll’, in fact, he had been calling you that the moment you started fake dating. But it was something about the way he said it as if the word was made for you and nobody could say that word unless it wasn't voiced by him for you. He didn't notice the flush in your eyes and even if he did, he didn't mention it.

“That’s it. You’re done hanging out with my family,” you articulated, “You are officially infected.”

“Don’t be like that, doll. Come on, breakfast’s ready.”

At the age of 18, when you were finally a college girl, you decided that breakfast was a myth created by Satan. When you lived with your parents, the breakfast consisted of extravagant food like pancakes, waffles and fruits. Once you moved away for college, your breakfast shifted to coffee and maybe a toast if you had the time before your first lecture. And the second you were independent, coffee became your boyfriend, keeping you up at night and also, your best friend, keeping you up in the morning without dozing off in classes.

So, sitting again at a dining table with your family and fake boyfriend/boss was very awkward, to say the least. But of course, your sister had the magical ability where she took an awkward silence and converted it into an uncomfortable conversation.

“We hope we didn't wake you up last night. Nick and I tend to get loud sometimes,” Carol joked and you coughed, choking on your food, and James laughed awkwardly.

James' hand instinctively came to your back, running calming circles with his palm and you shot a deathly glare to your sister.

“Oh, we know all about that,” James teased, bringing your chair closer to him. Your eyes widened and you whipped your head towards him so quickly that your neck hurt. What was he saying? This man, your boyfriend, fake boyfriend was a completely different person than your boss (not that you were complaining). He was funny, charming, he made you feel comfortable and something else you weren’t ready to point out just yet.

You could see yourself falling for a man like James. No, he is your boss and sort of criminal. Get your shit together, you told yourself.

After the very awkward breakfast, thanks to Carol. Your mother told you to show James around town and you would have said no but that meant you’d have to stay at home with your family, which was worse. So when James accepted your offer to go to your favorite burger place nearby, you were relieved.

“This burger is amazing, but nothing compared to Barry’s,” James stated.

You nodded your head, chewing the remnant of food in your mouth properly before speaking, “Nothing compares to Sally and her food.”

You liked being with James, everything about him made you want this, the real thing with him, not the whole faux boyfriend play. You wanted him and you were sure that he didn’t. One look at him was sufficient for anyone to know how handsome he was, and how oblivious he was to the waitress ogling him. He didn’t spare her a glance, he was probably used to the attention that he stopped caring about it. Of course, if you weren't overthinking at the moment, you would have noticed that he didn't care about anyone else - well, except you.

“The waitress was totally checking you out,” you informed James. You were very jealous, but you wouldn't stop your crush on your boss to stop him from living his life. He had already sacrificed a lot for you, you didn't want to cock-block him on top of that.

“No, she wasn’t,” he huffed, looking at you for any sign that this conversation displeased you the way it did him.

“I swear she was,” you said, “You should ask her out. She’s cute.”

“No, I’m taken.”

“But you’re not taken, James. This isn’t real,” you retorted and it hurt you so much to say. Sometimes you wished you could be a selfish bitch but you couldn’t do that to James. He deserves someone who would cherish and love him, not give him a faux relationship. “You should ask her out.”

“Do you want me to?” James asked, his voice was laced with desperation that you couldn't understand. Why would he care about your opinion?

Bucky hoped that you would say no, he needed a sign to know that you wanted him too. His tone was despondent because he was hoping that this could be more. He really wanted it to be. But when you said yes, everything came shattering down for him. You didn’t want him and God, he was so frustrated that he could cry. What sick game was the universe playing with him? He felt like a rat stuck in a cage with cheese right outside, in front of him. Even though he was so close to you, you were still out of his reach.

“You know what?,” he pondered, “Now that I think about it maybe I should ask her out?”

“Like right now?” you questioned, taken aback by his sudden and unexpected change in demeanor.

“Yeah!” he cheered enthusiastically, “No time like the present, right? You can get home by yourself?”

He didn’t wait for your answer, already walking back towards the restaurant, and you murmured a ‘yeah’ which he didn’t even notice because he was already jogging towards the burger place.

When you reached home alone, tears welled up in your eyes, and you ran up to the bathroom to avoid stumbling upon your family. Maybe you shouldn't have pushed him, maybe if you didn’t then he wouldn’t have pursued the waitress. He wouldn’t have gone if you didn’t shove him towards the cute waitress. Why were you such a good person?

Your thoughts were brought to a halt with frantic knocks on the door. Instantly, you wiped your eyes and opened up the door to be met with your sister’s kids. Izzy and Alex didn’t give you any time before getting a hold of your hand and rushing you outside to help them set up the trampoline.

Your family was already out there, and you hoped your face didn’t say, ’I've been crying in the bathroom.’ Your sister and her husband were seated on a blanket which was spread out on the grass, sipping wine, and your parents were admiring their grandchildren.

“Auntie Y/N!” Alex exclaimed and Izzy added, “Help us fix the trampoline please.”

You agreed because those two were the only people in the world that considered you their friend without asking for anything in return. Moreover, it was a good distraction, if you stayed in a room thinking about James, then you would probably lose your sanity. So, once you started setting up the trampoline for the kids, it became somewhat fun, and you almost forgot all about James, and how he must be talking to that girl and how that girl must be flirting with him. You hoped he didn’t call her doll, you knew you were being unreasonable and immature, but you couldn’t help yourself.

Izzy and Alex made their way towards their parents and whispered something about you being so in love with James that his absence made you angry.

You ignored them and the way your sister smiled, you were so focused on fitting the trampoline spring that you did not realize someone was standing behind you until two strong hands came around you, taking the spring from your hand and attaching it to the corner.

You knew it was James, no one would touch your hand so gently, any other man would have snatched the spring from your hold and mansplained it’s process to you. But James wasn’t doing that, he wanted to be near you, to have your attention fully that is why he took the spring from you. He didn’t undermine you. No, he desired you to notice him, the guy who has been trying all weekend to get you to like him. He wanted you to see Bucky, not your boss, James.

You could feel his head looming over your shoulder, you dared to crane your neck in his direction to find him already looking at you with a smile on his face. You were so dazed in his eyes that you didn’t notice that he was wearing a white shirt instead of the one he wore in the morning. You did not notice that he didn’t leave you to get the waitress’s number, instead he got a customized shirt that read 'I heart Y/N'. You only noticed him.

Furthermore, you didn’t care about anything else at the moment, just him. Bucky eyed your lips longer than he should have and leaned a bit towards you; a question. You answered his question by closing the distance between you and crashing your lips with his. His hands engulfed around your waist, flushing your back against his chest and he kissed you feverishly.

The kids were right.

You were in love, and that love was reciprocated by the man who was holding you like you were his archer and kissing you like you were the source of his last breath. But both of you were too unaware to realize that the other felt the same way.

Everyone could see that, your mother looked over at your father and your sister looked at her husband, smiling, reminiscing the way they fell in love just like you and Bucky. The kids looked at you both with hope, aspiring to have a love like that in their future, the kind they saw in movies and in the couples around them.

What you didn't realize was that there was one other set of eyes watching you from a car in the distance. Rumlow finally found his rival's vulnerability, and he was going to do everything in his power to exploit and eventually kill Bucky’s weakness, his love, you.

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#bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x y/n

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