#why was i thinking about this. well because im complex

[shopcat]

i think in a physical fight against hopper steve would win and i have thought about this incredibly deeply............. ..

#🐾 #steve is insane. also theyd have to be fighting for a reason #if steve had a good enough reason he could KILL hopper ... not that hopper wouldnt kill him too but i think hes got idk #hes crazy in a different way plus his thing seems to be one hit punch outs and stuff #which steve can take. dude shook off a concussion. hes literally a punch until he physically cannot keep going guy #plus if theyre literally anywhere except for a padding fucking cell steve would like kill him with a brick or something #anyway i think hopper would have a hesitance bc hes younger that steve would lack #hopper would be fighting to subdue and steve would be fighting to end lives. ultimately. xo #why was i thinking about this. well because im complex #sts

[yellowocaballero]

Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?

Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!

I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.

I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.

I am going to talk about the prologue.

The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.

Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.

But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.

They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.

I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?

Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.

Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.

At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.

What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.

It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.

But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.

ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?

When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.

#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences #i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason #its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience #that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told #it's. incredible. #in stars and time #start again start again start again #start again: a prologue #isat #god and there is so so so so much more to say here #what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby #i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all. #i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did #but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim #and i write about it a lot #and video games about being video games are wonderful #as are stories about being stories #and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us. #never played a video game that used its medium so well #i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think #stories about stories have to be about why we love stories #and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art #i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while. #some people need to be anywhere but here #and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever #baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot

[0809sysblings]

Amane is a character that is super easy to misinterpret. If you try to take her at face value, you are not going to get very far. And not cause she's deceitful or lying. But I think it is because she says what she thinks she believes. And, in my opinion, what should be given the most attention is not if she actually believes what she's saying or not, but why she would believe what she's saying. That will give you a lot more insight into her character and a lot more to work with, I think.

#Milgram #Amane #theres a lot of emphasis put on finding the truth vs the lies #but i think this approach doesnt work well because .. like... idk #lying‚ being mistaken‚ not knowing... they are very different things #just because something someone says doesnt add up or is contradicted by something else (or even themself) #doesnt make it a ''lie'' #or mean the person is trying to be deceitful or manipulative #think about if theres a reason they would say that other than being a liar #cause a lot of the time there is #and it will start making the character make more sense #and if it is a lie. think about why they would want or need to lie other than ''bad person'' #nothing triggered this post. i was just thinking about this #im just very passionate about the nuance and complexity and greyness of human behavior #and this is very relevant for Milgram. so #and this can apply to every character. not just Amane. but i just think its especially relevant for her

[martyrbat]

detective comics #509

[ID: Bruce Wayne sleeping in his penthouse, his eyes squeezed shut as the narration reads, ‘Gordon's strained laugh sounds hollow, but it echos in the Batman's mind... and haunts his dreams...” Bruce awakens to a hand on his shoulder and before he can think, he's twisting it and holding it down. The panel expands, revealing the hand belongs to Alfred as he's almost toppling over! He cries out, “M-master Bruce—my arm!” as Bruce groggily realizes who it is. He lets go at once as Alfred moves to the end of the bed and holds his arm while stammering an apology, “S-sorry, s-sir... Sorry if I startled you.” Bruce looks at him with aghast as he cries out, “My god, Alfred—I almost broke your arm!” Alfred reasons, “You must have been having a nightmare, sir.” as Bruce sits up and puts his face in his hands. He weepily dismisses, “A nightmare—what kind of an excuse is that? Old friend... forgive me...” Alfred reassures, “Nothing to forgive, sir. Just bad nerves, sir.” END ID]

#THIS ONE !!!! #bruce and his neverending guilt complex #just immediately regretful and so apologetic as alfred is quick to reassure and dismiss it #holding his arm because of fucking course it still hurts but when bruce lifts his head he stops .... #always thinking of how he was a caretaker for bruce since he was a small child/infant and how many little things bruce does now will remind #alfred of those days #he likes his grilled cheese q certain way. he cries if he thinks he hurt someone. he blames himself for a lot. he gets bad nightmares #like so much has stayed the same as so much continues to change but the love and care thry have for each other is always there #(<- guy who is always number one in bruce is disabled and needs a caretaker but also in how the people around him know bruce loves and cares #about them. its not about not being loved its about how heavy his love is and how bruce will subconsciously use his love to harm himself #(from blaming himself to his parents murders and jason's future death to something as simple as this and how he'll beat himself up #for hurting alfred and not able to protect him as well from himself) #(like his mental illness is forever using his stupid bleeding heart against himself as a reason for why hes awful) #this is all fully sidetracked im just fucking wired today sorry lol #but while im talking and something more related to the panel itself:: #after this line bruce looks up and says ‘the batman suffering from bad nerves? lets hope not. gordon can worry about the election but i #cannot afford to. still its not just the campaign. lately so many other things are pressuring me—mostly as bruce wayne’ #and like !!!! #it wasn't about batman! it wasnt about his burdens and responsibilities!! alfred was telling HIM. BRUCE. that its okay #and bruce automatically ‘its not because batman cant behave like this’ like !!!! #batman is the priority in the sense of he thinks he needs it to protect people. even his family even alfred and every single stranger #he won't ever allow himself any grace even while sleeping because batman cannot afford those ‘slips’ #just GOD 70s/80s batman makes me insane for forever and ever amen #c: detective comics | i: 509 #crypt's panels #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #alfred & bruce #‘awake or asleep—it scarcely matters anymore. the nightmare never seems to end.’ #<- nightmare bruce tag <333

[fooltofancy]

important to understand that my approach to oc design and characterization depends explicitly on how i'm playing that specific game, like. a thing you should know about ilya is that he is the kind of person who will dive into the middle of a large pull ahead of the tank and pop all of his mitigation while screaming because i get distracted and do that. constantly.

... it's the siren's call of the big aoe damage noises, ok.

#mostly im thinking about these things because they're the easy things to think about #i am. very. very. bad. at like deeplore dives lmao #so bad!!!!!!! i'm here for the emotional complexity do Not ask me where this man lives i don't know #... i do know. #once it starts branching out into history and family lore and godforbid fucking cultural lore i am just #so dumb. i'm so dumb i was not designed for worldbuilding even if it's just the world of one weird little guy #v invested in other people's sandboxes because mine is very small and it's also just full of rocks. #anyway. #my partner: BABY MOOOOOOOOODE #me: it's okay my heal is up it'll be FINE #also increasingly play casters like melee dps so everybody gets to suffer that as well #ilya standing directly under a very large guy in his stupid leylines like MANAWARD'S UP IT'S FINE #.... i dont play blm as much now honestly because to contribute i have to be less stupid. and that's not fun. #i really. REALLY enjoy the big melee dps damage noises #they're across the board better than caster noises. so disappointing because in my heart i am On Fire #sam+pal noises are the best noises in the game #SPINNING #i'm thinking too hard about backstories and it's not going well lmao #grabbing this creature by the shoulders and shaking him violently like WHO ARE YOOOOOOOU #concussed probably his brain is just sloshing around in there #babg mode blogging #this is also why he's canonically A Guy Who Touches Things He Shouldn't #because i'm that guy. #i'm the guy who touches things. #this explains sehren also like she would not be who she is if i didnt play dragona age with wild hubris and abandon #.... it wasnt fun unless i was wildly underleveled in places i didnt belong ok #every if mc ive gotten invested in also

[doomed-era]

my friend showed me a video about splatoon and now im obsessed with the idea of "dark nintendo"

#LIKE. ITS SO #it describes so perfectly what i like about nintendo games or just colorful games that arent exclusively colorful #also from the looks of things it also kind of describes what i think is missing from zelda #and that splatoon seems to do really well #im really only a casual sploon fan but its so fun learning about it #im not gonna use the word 'lore' because like #its more than just lore because lore implies its really complex when its so much more about the emotions the themes the narratives #who is telling what story and why #RGRGRGRGRGRGRGGRHRGRHGR #glider rambles

[steelycunt]

ridi im sorry i need to rant and i think youll get it 😭 like not to be a bitch but this fandom kinda going off the rails and annoying the shit out of me https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRbYASpf/ everybody in the comments unironically loving it,,, i mean wtvr ship who you want but its kinda getting delusional like ppl are just operating on thin air and pretty fancasts atp and i do Not understand or emotionally connect with any of it. at least w wolfstar theres so much material and foundation to explore but what is all the rest of this?? just hot celebrity fancasts and crack. to be fair part of me respects taking a terfs canon material and making everybody gay but the way it seems to be so oversaturating fics and the fandom that characters dont even feel like their original selves .. atp its all just surface level OCs

hello! yes! i'll be honest talking about things like this always make me a little nervous, and i feel obligated to preface anything i say with a disclaimer that none of it really matters, nothing i say matters, and you should do what you like, because--who cares. i am not an authority on--anything, frankly. my opinion holds no more weight than the next guy's, and all i'm doing here is giving it, so. essentially what im saying is--people are perfectly entitled to disagree with me, but people are not entitled to be mean to me about it xx

having said that. it is my personal opinion that s x barty is one of the worst fucking things i have ever heard lol. who even is barty who is that guy. why would s be interested in him at all. i do not understand it it does not make sense to me. from where are we sourcing the character traits and personality that we are giving barty that would ever endear sirius to him, because it objectively cannot be canon.

overall i do not get the new interest in barty + evan + pandora (+ regulus, but we won't go there)...at all, other than guessing that people were bored with the marauders and wanted a new version of them (and new celebrities to fancast) while simultaneously changing next to nothing about them other than superimposing them onto the first slytherin side characters they could rustle up. i expect ive become a bit of a broken record in regards to my dislike of the popular meow-meow-ification + complete absolution of regulus as a character in order to make him a loveable oc (just as i think erasing all the negative traits that r/s have in order to make them more likeable is just as boring), and all of that applies to those other guys as well (with the slight difference that they are, somehow, even less interesting and significant than regulus in canon), so i won't get into that too much. but i think what you say about having no emotional connection to any of it is exactly right lol--it is a sort of shift? i guess? in the fandom that is simply of no interest to me. they are characters that i just have no emotional investment in and admittedly struggle a little to understand why other people do. i am emotionally invested in, like, five characters overall (and even out of those--there's only two i'm really here for innit xx) and i personally cannot extend that investment to a creepy little side character who is mentioned maybe twice in the entire series.

and that is okay! i do not need to understand it. i don't want to say it annoys me because honestly--i don't go there, its nothing to do with me. if i dont like it i just wont interact with it, and the fact that it doesn't interest me has no bearing on what other people are into or want to do, and i couldn't give less of a shit what people do with the canon material, which is largely garbage anyway. take the bits you want from it, play around with those and ignore the rest. in that respect we are all doing exactly the same thing. but yeah i think s x barty is genuinely awful lol. hate it. very terrible. he's already got a loser werewolf boyfriend and he loves him so so much. leave him alone.

#i know most people are reasonable and thus it is perhaps overly cautious of me to insist on shrouding my unpopular #opinions in like. layer upon layer of placatory disclaimers but. well im a rather anxious guy i can't help it xx but im going to use these #tags to have a bit more of a consequence-less hater hour so. if you like regulus or barty or any of that lot i suggest you look away now #because i am about to express opinions about them that you probably wouldnt agree with + wouldnt enjoy reading!! #like full warning what im about to do is NOT any sort of analysis or defence of my opinion i will just be hating on them. is that clear. #okay. having said that. hater hour. barty and evan and honestly regulus were all cunts? like they were terrible people why do we care #about them now. regulus interests me solely as a piece of context for sirius' character. i could not give less of a shit about him as a #person in his own right. which leads me to my next hater moment: why oh why oh WHY on earth would canon james potter be interested #in canon regulus black. it makes sense in like a muggle au where they are virtually completely different characters but canon? #why would he be attracted to him. there is nothing. there is no chemistry i am ASLEEP and so is james. he would not give that #guy a second look. like it just baffles me it truly does. i feel like you have to bend over backwards to create a situation in which #james potter would ever show an interest in regulus. and i know jegulus is a fucking force to be reckoned with nowadays but god i just #do not like that ship. also i think the fact that barty and pandora and evan are essentially just oc characters who have been coloured #in by general fanon consensus shows in that what they have become is just. not interesting or complex or well fleshed out lol. like #idk i feel like they are just. very shallow. deliberately. so they are easy to like and easy to ship because that is what theyre there for. #god it feels so good to say all this. i will never be a hater again (<- lying) but i needed to be able to just. say this just once xx #also if you needed any more indication what barty and evan and regulus are here to do you just have to look at their #super-hot super-conventionally attractive celebrity model fancasts. like it all adds up its like but what if these death eaters were #not actually evil :-( what if they were really sweet and also? so so hot. like they were all so hot and actually really good #and none of them meant to be evil they didnt want to be :-( they were just hot good guys all in love with each other and the evil stuff #they did wasnt their fault :-( like that has to be. the most boring thing you couldve possibly done with these blank slates. surely. #anyway. im done now but i enjoyed hater hour immensely this was so fucking good for my soul xx thanks and goodnight xx #anon #telegram #scream hang on sorry. just looked at the comments of that tiktok where people are saying they were prison besties. girl. girl. #girl they were in prison for very different reasons baby. baby you know that right. baby look at me. look at me

[deus-and-the-machina]

ffxiv garlemald discourse is so funny because people will go "ugh people just cant stand it when things aren't black and white" and then you look at how the empire are portrayed in stormblood and shadowbringers and its like hm. that seems like a pretty intense and accurate display of violent imperialism to me! Wow I wonder why people in this day and age may find it hard to feel sympathy for them or even hate them on principal. god its such a mystery.

the games like 50/50 to me on how it tackles these themes because I actually like the garlemald arc in EW, I think it has a lot of horrific and powerful scenes depicting how self destructive fascist propaganda and beliefs are, but I also think it doesn't go far enough on some fronts. the garleans' xenophobia is most notably and obstacle to getting them to accept the contingent's help, which is what they're there to do,

but there's never an admission of harm from any garleans on the uuuuuuuuh massive amount of war crimes the nations around them are still suffering from they're just kind of like "we misjudged you...but you actually wanted to help us all along" like yeah thats great now can we get you all some deprogramming because you keep talking about returning to your prime and glory days and I think we need to unpack some stuff you really SHOULDNT return to. im not even really talking about EW proper but the patches where things are a bit more chilled out and people are recovering.

It feels like they wanted to have their critique of imperialism and also have things end with the beauty of human connection and reaching out and these things just don't mesh well because hey a lot of your modern day audience is not gonna like having to treat people yelling xenophobic things at the cast and your character with kid gloves after you showed them hours and hours of the awful things these people's beliefs have done. especially in the present day hoo boy.

#im kind of torn between 'no characters dont need to be 'punished' to be redeemed but also the characters just being so lenient with the #colonizers after we see far too many people being lenient if not supportive of the colonizers irl. well. it really blows afslkjfalkf and #yeah you can argue if they'd gone through with the garlemald expansion they would've had more time to go into this but the fact is that its #absent from what they did do and I especially think the patches when we go to garlemald and the EW role quests going 'hey maybe the #provinces can help us rebuild' as if they'd have any goddamn right to ask that just make me feel like they didnt stick the landing #seeing all the characters who have suffering time and time again bc of the garleans or seen the results of their actions having to clamp #their mouths shut every time someone said something xenophobic in EW isnt satisfying and it leaves so much unsaid! #also some people feel like the narrative didnt blame emet enough but ngl I think thats reductive even with his micromanaging scheming littl #ass and the intention of garlemald turning out a shitshow that doesnt make anyone else less complicit. most governments like this exaggerat #and lie and spread propaganda but I dont think most people here excuse the actions of a bigot because 'they were raised that way' #this is also my issue with gaius' writing. hes primarily upset that ascians were behind what he thought was his good old fashioned natural #conquering ideology :( and doesnt it suck so much he killed people for it. like yeah he seems pretty aware what he did was wrong but his #ideology remains bizarrely intact and unchallenged by the characters around him. no dude it wasnt just the ascians the system is a lot more #complex than that by this point aaaaaugh #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv #siren says #I hope people are nice to me about this I dont think I said anything particularly controversial to the Tumblr crowd (twt maybe but fuck em) #ig my main point with this post is that the game isnt perfect at writing this and also that look. I actually liked the main arc in EW and I #like quite a few garlean characters but I completely understand why others didnt like it or any garleans esp if they have their own persona #experiences with colonialism and I dont get to tell them they're invalid for that. too many people get judgmental about this understandably #upsetting topic and you just gotta accept that this is a big line for many people

[stinkrascal]

even though it was buried in the tags of my last text post, that text post was the first time ive ever admitted to any of my ocs having The Diagnosis which is also My Diagnosis which means ive just somewhat admitting to having The Diagnosis which is My Diagnosis and wow that was extremely nerve wracking but it also felt nice to get it out there. this is my coming out post i guess

#definitely gonna delete this later i just wanted to ramble for a minute #idk why but this specific diagnosis was the most difficult thing to come to terms with #being diagnosed with adhd and bpd that was nothing but THIS ONE? it ruined my life for at least a few months #which is so silly bc when other people have this diagnosis i think nothing of it #but when its Me it just brings out this horrible complex inside of my heart #so having an explanation for that kinda stung you know. but hey its there now #a lot of this journey has just been me trying 2 unlearn the harmful stereotypes abt myself as far as The Diagnosis is concerned #and learning to treat myself kindly in spite of my insecurities which at times feel like a direct byproduct of my diagnosis. its a lot #but yeah. Yeah. idek what im trying to say anymore #shoutout to my homies who felt like aliens their entire childhoods only to be diagnosed later in life we are so strong and whatever #kisses you on the forehead #also tbh it feels good to project it onto my ocs. it makes me feel better about myself #making brie autistic as shit makes me feel more normal because in my head im like well shes living her best life. why cant i #and all the straud kids too. theyre still living their best lives and theyre totally confident w themselves and they accept their diagnosis #and they accept its just a part of them you know!! nothing to be ashamed of. so why cant i #THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY im very emotional right now. ik this is kinda weird but i really want to find the confidence #to talk about this without feeling embarrassed about myself. autism rocks ! #this is literally the autism website idk why im nervous right now you are all literally autistic why am i so nervous LOL

[lunarflare64]

Us talking to our councillor about this newly discovered alter: his job is to help us process this negative emotion and protect us, and sometimes he goes too far and either we get hurt or other people get hurt, but he doesn't mean to, and we cant do this without him

Our councillor: so how do you control him? How do you restrain him? Can you get rid of him? Can you make him stop?

Us:........WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

#the negative emotion in question is anger so this is technically me getting defensive over myself but the anger isnt just mine yknow? #i think we messed up a bit talking to her about me #shes been pretty understanding of the plural thing but shes not TRAINED in this. if she has experience with it its not much #because that shit is kinda......super messed up? #her first question was literally 'how can you control him' like im fuckin evil or something #good to know that we cant talk to her about the actually complex parts of being plural #good to know we figured that out through me. all im gonna do is get pissed #imagine if it was someone who would actually be seriously hurt by something like that #not saying im not but i know shes in the wrong for it and im pissed about it #anyway im pretty sure whoever was fronting for that appointment handled it pretty well #they didnt give in or let her think that just because i mess up i shouldnt be doing my job #if that was the case she might as well quit her job right there on the spot because thats hella hypocritical #one of the reasons i was discovered was literally because we were so pissed at her (and some other things going on) #that i took front and started lashing out #(she messed up pretty bad but unfortunately its been forgotten instead of forgiven so now i dont know why im mad)

[ahalliance]

i don’t get how people can complain about the writing “doing Martha dirty” when that same writing gives her an ending that addresses her treatement over the course of the season, allows her to finally put her to foot down, to establish her self-worth as an individual and to air out her grievances, and gives her the most respectful and satisfying exit from the TARDIS we’d yet seen in the show . like it’s one thing to dislike the direction the writing team took with her arc and to criticise it (perfectly fine) and another to somehow miss it entirely lmao . the ‘martha feels out of place, second best, and like a rebound’ is an intentional piece of writing that gets resolved by the end of the season . like that wasn’t smth they threw in for shits and giggles, it had in-story repercussions

#and if u don’t think those repercussions were Enough then that’s totally cool and smth to start a discussion over #but . don’t act as if they didn’t happen lmao?? #i just . yells #like i have my own criticisms about the writing (giving the ‘i feel second best to this dude’s past love interest’ to the first POC #companion was . probably not the best of choices let’s be real #though there’s some leeway there as im assuming the character was written before audtions . but still . could have been reconsidered #idk i totally understand why people aren’t fans of the storyline itself (outside of how coherent the writing is) but i think it’s a shame #that many others just kinda seem to miss the point because it’s such a unique and interesting arc to give to a companion #i like fresh ideas!! i like the doctor Actually being portrayed at someone who is clumsy with relationships and emotional intimacy!! #i like it when his trauma spills over in ugly and complex ways like we see in season 3 in regards to his friendship with martha #and i like it even better when his accidentally cruel actions and mistakes get brought up and criticised by the narrative!! like it does in #the end of s3!! it’s so good!! #i enjoy 10 because he’s my favourite wet cat but also because he is allowed to fill up room like a real traumatised individual would #it’s like . okay i enjoy ‘ooo the doctor is the oncoming storm ooo he’s hurt and killed so many people ooo’ #but it’s also good to See the actual ramifications of that shit you know . hearing about his legend status is always fun but damn man #is it satisfying from a character analysis POV to see him hurt the people around him . to see him treat his friends poorly on accident #because of his own character flaws . like that’s GOOD #and it just sorta irks me sometimes bc people will have this smug attitude of ‘well MY blorbo isn’t a rude piece of shit and is actually a #paragon of morality’ and like girl i don’t give a shit . that’s fine in small doses but it’s not what’s compelling #people tend to like interacting with ‘angsty traumatised edgy characters’ if their edginess is contained in a nice little box that doesn’t #overspill . fuck no give me the characters that are loud and ugly and unpleasant about their trauma THAT’S THE REAL SHIT #jay rambles #dw.txt #10.txt #marthaj.txt #sometimes u wanna treat the blorbo from your show like a real person sure but sometimes it is better to remember that they are fictional #and there to be considered as part of a bigger story and as an item to analyse . case in poiny #point #maybe i shouldn’t be surprised by this though since people still get hung up over rose quartz

[shittywriterbrain]

apologies to everyone who has to interact with me today or tomorrow because i just CANNOT be normal about hamlet and i WILL be doing this inside my head

#i have very complex feelings about fangirling over hamlet because like #its the best known play ever i think. like. yeah #like if i said oh my god do you know what makes you beautiful by one direction its so good i cannot be normal about it #but on the other hand. why should i care i should just enjoy this and not imagine that someones judging me the entire time #like yeah i guess for people who are into theater as well its like “basic” but who cares if youre basic yk this whole striving to be specia #is tiring and useless #and also. i could not tell you why i love hamlet. do Not know. i guess bc its drama and gay and emo i think thats why #i have no great theories about it i could not write an essay on hamlets character #i have however made a powerpoint about why hamlet is gay #im just ranting in the tags now i realise #sorry #hope you didnt read through all that #anyway #another one for the void #caspian is obsessed with hamlet

[karinyosa]

.

#okay so i think i've got it #i think i have a weird thing about not being beholden to the same god/things as christians/other christians #like i can get behind pretty much any bible character EXCEPT god #very averse to that guy. very trepidatious #like i said in that one post. if i find a way to like blorboify him enough that might change (give him enough weak spots??) #but i like. DO NOT like that guy and i mean that purely emotionally/viscerally #he's essentially the villain in like every interpretation i have of the bible #maybe that's why clown bible makes me cry! #it's the only thing that's gotten me to sympathize with god #okay goodnight tumblr i think i've had enough for one day #karinyo.txt #like it's either this or i have some kind of fucked up not like other christians complex #like as much as i love bible interpretation i still cringe when i read stuff that's overtly like worshippy of god i just can't do it #the only way i can get close to it is if i desecrate it in some way #okay that's actually enough now goodnight i can't do this #im learning too much #OKAY BUT the thing is you desecrate it anyway. you do it because you still want it #and that all fits in really well with my whole 'sin is a natural part of being human' thing and my 'jesus died so you could sin as much as #you want' thing and my 'some blasphemy is a form of worship' thing #okay. cool cool cool #so that's just ALL desire then

[skrunksthatwunk]

not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!

#like. yeah i'll take the raised minimum wage. i guess. but jesus christ #yes you are doing slightly good things sometimes almost. can you stop killing people though. please. that is a higher priority #like this is my first prezzy election season since i turned voting age right and like. what the fuck am i supposed to do now #what am i supposed to do with this. it took me 5 fucking months to pick a dead cockroach off my floor how am i supposed to fix this. #how am i meant to be a person and go on living while knowing i am doing nothing and cannot do anything and won't do anything #i need to fight i need to get up but i am stuck. im always stuck. i pray yknow. i don't know what else to do #how can people think about buying houses and getting promotions in this world. how are they not feeling likr their chest is caving in every #time they falter in their complex self-distraction. how am i supposed to do anything when all i can think about is helping and my body won't #let me. i cant do anything i cant but i have to but i cant. im supposed to and im a bad person if i dont and i cant live like that. #and if i am too upset about that i am punished for it by the people around me and ignored by those in power if not punished as well. #i love the world. i love people. you motherfuckers are killing everything and im not stopping you and you're getting in the way of me loving #the life i was built to love and i can't understand why you think it's even thinkable to do what you're doing. or what im doing. #i just want to look at clovers and paint and be good to my neighbors but you won't stop fucking murdering people in front of me #and i can't fucking do anything. i cant take care of the people i love i can't carry my own weight i can't take care of myself i can't move #and im supposed to fucking file taxes? to fund mass slaughter? on the off chance it might go to welfare or something. god. #i hate it here i hate it here america is a fucking nightmare it is hell i can't stand it but if i leave im just running and saving myself #whch is selfsh and cruel and so i would never be able to escape the feeling and i would always be in american hell because it' a part of me #but if i stay i cannot do anything because my body is filled with smoke and broken glass and im supposed to fucking get my drivers license #so i can buy groceries or get a job so i can keep myself on life support watching everything get worse and worse around me #and knowing that nothing has ever been good here and ive been lied to forever and im still being lied to #and i am in hell. #and me dying won't fix it and me living won't fix it ans both are too painful to even consider. #i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning and my skin is on fire im on fire and i want to have children. but i can't imagine #doing that to someone. oh my god. and to raise them and watch them come to understand what this place ive brought them to is #that ive raised them in a slaughterhouse and to feebly try to show them the clovers and the ducks and the baby shoes and teach them to love #when maybe that love of the world is a distraction. or maybe i use it as one. i think of the blood as an obstacle to love and joy but maybe #i would not love the world so much if i was not so constantly desperately scared and ashamed of living in it #and i am a very lucky person. my life is cushy and i want to rip my skin off because what does that matter when it doesnt let me help people #god help me. but help the rest of them first. but i am helped first anyway and i hate it. i dont. i cant. god. #nyarla dni

[hoodie-prince-kid]

newfound respect for Mikazuki

#i thought he was kinda off but then he unleashed his Big Cool Move and now i understand why he was the former captain of the First Unit #also his eyes are really pretty they look kinda like solar eclipses if they made the sky blue instead of pitch black #in fact he has a whole moon motif going on now that i think about it. the hilt of his sword as a phases of the moon pattern #he's not a favorite but he's cooler than i gave him credit for #ALSO OODENTA WITH THE FUCKING THUNDER THING? HELLO #and Yamanbagiri seems to have an inferiority complex but he shouldnt because he looks badass in that cloak #and also took out a monster with one fucking strike #and the brothers seem really well-coordinated which is super cool #i wasnt looking forward to meeting the First Unit after Tonbukiri's injury but now i really like them and think they're super cool #Honebami... something's up with his arc (in a good way). if they focus more on the First Unit he's definitely going to be the main event #him alongside Mikazuki of course #normally i dont like when anime have so many characters but this one has it organized pretty well (also it's based on a video game so) #ah! im ranting! good that means im still into it even tho the big energy is gone :)