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#what am i supposed to do with this. it took me 5 fucking months to pick a dead cockroach off my floor how am i supposed to fix this.
opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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#ugh. i wasted a lot of time and money today#bc my leg was suddenly hurting a lot more today and it kinda freaked me out so i went to urgent care#and then they had me get an x ray. luckily my hip looks fine and like i thought i probably strained or tore like an adductor muscle#so all that for something i already knew. but she said i should just chill for like 3 weeks and let it heal#at least nothing worse was wrong but its really annoying. i want to run 😫#wtf am i gonna do to dispel energy??? ugh. and i was supposed to go to thr post office today to send stuff#ill have to go tomorrow. bleh. its so annoying#part of it is just that i hate having to interact with people. like talking to people. like im sure i come across as v young#bc im so anxious and hesitant and im like zero eye contact. so idk it just feels kinda embarrassing#i wanna b like. bro i promis im not stupid. i have 2 advanced degrees in biology and im going for a 3rd. u can talk to me like an adult#its probably just me projecting. my perception is distorted from being made fun of by my sister lol#whatever. at least its just 3 weeks. tho it does remind me i havent been to an actual doctor in like 5 years#...probably should do thst before i move. or idk maybe ill just wait a month and go before school starts#ugh. fuck the American Healthcare system. they looked at me for like 5min and to go to urgent care was $125 with my insurance#thats just to b seen. like i can afford that but what r u supposed to do if u cant?#unrelated#at least its not as bad as when i passed out in class and took a 10 min ambulance ride that somehow cost $700
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months
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not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!
#like. yeah i'll take the raised minimum wage. i guess. but jesus christ#yes you are doing slightly good things sometimes almost. can you stop killing people though. please. that is a higher priority#like this is my first prezzy election season since i turned voting age right and like. what the fuck am i supposed to do now#what am i supposed to do with this. it took me 5 fucking months to pick a dead cockroach off my floor how am i supposed to fix this.#how am i meant to be a person and go on living while knowing i am doing nothing and cannot do anything and won't do anything#i need to fight i need to get up but i am stuck. im always stuck. i pray yknow. i don't know what else to do#how can people think about buying houses and getting promotions in this world. how are they not feeling likr their chest is caving in every#time they falter in their complex self-distraction. how am i supposed to do anything when all i can think about is helping and my body won't#let me. i cant do anything i cant but i have to but i cant. im supposed to and im a bad person if i dont and i cant live like that.#and if i am too upset about that i am punished for it by the people around me and ignored by those in power if not punished as well.#i love the world. i love people. you motherfuckers are killing everything and im not stopping you and you're getting in the way of me loving#the life i was built to love and i can't understand why you think it's even thinkable to do what you're doing. or what im doing.#i just want to look at clovers and paint and be good to my neighbors but you won't stop fucking murdering people in front of me#and i can't fucking do anything. i cant take care of the people i love i can't carry my own weight i can't take care of myself i can't move#and im supposed to fucking file taxes? to fund mass slaughter? on the off chance it might go to welfare or something. god.#i hate it here i hate it here america is a fucking nightmare it is hell i can't stand it but if i leave im just running and saving myself#whch is selfsh and cruel and so i would never be able to escape the feeling and i would always be in american hell because it' a part of me#but if i stay i cannot do anything because my body is filled with smoke and broken glass and im supposed to fucking get my drivers license#so i can buy groceries or get a job so i can keep myself on life support watching everything get worse and worse around me#and knowing that nothing has ever been good here and ive been lied to forever and im still being lied to#and i am in hell.#and me dying won't fix it and me living won't fix it ans both are too painful to even consider.#i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning i am drowning and my skin is on fire im on fire and i want to have children. but i can't imagine#doing that to someone. oh my god. and to raise them and watch them come to understand what this place ive brought them to is#that ive raised them in a slaughterhouse and to feebly try to show them the clovers and the ducks and the baby shoes and teach them to love#when maybe that love of the world is a distraction. or maybe i use it as one. i think of the blood as an obstacle to love and joy but maybe#i would not love the world so much if i was not so constantly desperately scared and ashamed of living in it#and i am a very lucky person. my life is cushy and i want to rip my skin off because what does that matter when it doesnt let me help people#god help me. but help the rest of them first. but i am helped first anyway and i hate it. i dont. i cant. god.#nyarla dni
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julesnichols · 6 months
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Y'know. There were several ups and downs when I was working for the mouse, and the downs were always really, really bad. But like also I'm glad for them because four years ago I absolutely would not have said SHIT about being given a shift that conflicts with my availability and just worked it hoping it never happened again. Now I will talk to all four fucking managers who work throughout the entire day I've been here until one of them listens instead of pushing back and getting pissy about me saying it's not my fault and sure, I'll try to find coverage to be nice, but not my fucking problem if I can't find it, can't work the shift, they can't mark me as a no show and they can die mad about it because they should've thought about it before giving me a shift I can't work 🤷
#vent#obvs i said all that in more professional language#but like i was fucking firm about it that yeah i'll humor them and ask around but that's also not my job bc it wasn't my mistake#so if they end up understaffed sucks to suck. only so much i can do if everyone i talked to was booked and busy#not my fault some idiot who makes more than me to do one single task on a 9-2 schedule weekdays only didn't have her shit together#anyways i am Proud of myself bc i no longer take shit#sucks that it took those lows to get to this point but y'know what? i'm grateful#wish i could've learned these lessons a different way#obvs. but i am glad that i did learn them#anyways today sucked but i got almost 7.5 paid hours instead of the 6.5 i was originally supposed to get so ✌️#somewhat makes up for me needing to call out last sunday lmao#also i put up with soooo much shit i am a Team Player if i refuse to back down and choose a hill to die on it means smth to me#extend me to a 10 and a half hour shift and only take a 30 meal break instead of the hour i'm entitled to?#yeah okay sure more money and the break schedule is already fucked so i don't wanna screw over everybody else#gotta clock in half an hour early and stay twenty minutes late? no problem i'm here may as well. plus money#need me to train someone when i only restarted here 2 months ago 4 years after the last time i worked here? sure. why not.#blind leading the goddamn blind and all that but like i also know what situations ppl have gotten most pissed at me in#so lemme teach you how to do some of the shit nobody explains the way they need to#so if i call out it's bc my legs well and truly WILL give the fuck out if i try to stand on them for longer than 5 mins#and if i say i shouldn't be the one to fix their mistake but i'll try a lil. i am a nice person i am a team player i can and will take shit#from them but also i am not a goddamn pushover#i know my limits and i know my worth
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Slutmas Day 7
No Longer A Virgin (Chris)
Request: None
Warnings: Loss of virginity, use of mama, fingering, I think that’s all
“Fuck baby, you’re so tight! I won’t last long like this mama.”
Y/n’s pov
I have been dating Chris for about 7 months now but I have known him for about 5 years. I was still a virgin but he wasn’t and I was scared I’d be bad during sex or that it would hurt. Chris knew this but never rushed me and never asked me if I wanted to have sex or give him head. He says that’s not why he was dating me and I appreciate that. “I love you and I don’t want to have sex until you’re ready. Don’t pressure yourself into doing it because you think it’s what I want. I don’t care, I just want you to know when the time comes I will try my best to make it a good experience for you” is something Chris always told me.
I think tonight’s going to be the night I let Chris take my virginity, I’ve been thinking about it for the last couple of weeks and I think I’m finally ready. Today had been a good day with him so far, full of cuddles, movies, and kisses. We were currently laying down in my bed watching tv since it was around 10pm, “Hey Chris can I tell you something?” I asked him visibly nervous. He turned off the tv before putting his full attention on me, “Of course you can babe, is something wrong?” He questioned while moving some hair out of my face as I shook my head.
“Nothings wrong, I just wanted to tell you that I’m ready” I said nervously, “Are you sure my love?” he asked while looking into my eyes, studying my face for any signs of doubt. “Yes, I want it to be with you. I trust you and love you Chris, so yes I’m sure” I told him while looking down. He gently moved my face back up, placing a soft kiss to my lips “I love you too, I’ll be gentle but it’s still going to hurt at first, okay?” he informed me. “Okay” I replied back as he stood up and took everything but his boxers off.
I was already only wearing an over sized t-shirt and panties so he just let that be at first, lightly pushing me until I laid flat on my back. He hovered over me with a smile, “So we’re gonna start by making out like we normally do except I’m going to grind on you. You know to get you wet and for me to get hard, alright?” he spoke sweetly. “Alright” I replied before Chris started kissing me, we started off slowly as he gently slid his tongue across my bottom lip asking for entrance, which I quickly allowed.
After making out for a minute or so, Chris started to press his hips against my own in a slow grinding motion. I could feel him getting hard which caused me to whine. Pulling away for a second, Chris started asking, “Can I kiss down your neck and leave hickies?” “Mhm, you can take my shirt off too if you want” I replied, suddenly having a boost of confidence. At this, he smiled before slipping my shirt over my head, and started leaving kisses across my neck, gently biting down on the skin ever so often.
I let out a whiny moan when he bit down on this one particular spot, causing him to stop and harshly suck on the skin. I let out another moan as he created the hickey on my neck before he trailed down towards my chest. After leaving multiple hickies around my chest, looking up at me, “Is it okay if I um, suck on your nipples?” he asked softly. I gave him a nod and before I knew it, I was letting out whiny moans as he gently sucked on and played with my nipples. Once he was satisfied with that, he kissed down to my panties, stopping and looking up at me.
“Have you ever fingered yourself before baby?” he softly asked, making me giggle, “How else am I supposed to get off, Christopher? Of course I have!” I joked in a sarcastic tone. “Don’t be bratty Y/n” he joked back, “Do you want me to eat you out first?” “N-No. Can you just f-fuck me please” I nervously stuttered out. “Don’t be nervous my love, I’ll be gentle” Chris softly smiled, giving me a kiss on the forehead before grabbing some lube out of his nightstand.
“This is gonna be a little cold but I’m gonna stretch you out a bit, okay?” “Okay” he squirted some lube onto my pussy and spread it around a bit before sticking two of his long fingers inside me. “Such a pretty pussy” he smirked as his fingers slowly thrusted in and out of me. Chris sped up his movements a little, now scissoring his fingers to stretch me out some more. “Mhm, I could get off on your fingers alone baby” I confessed as I ran my fingers through his hair “Yeah? You think your stretched out enough for me mama?” he asked after placing a shot kiss to my lips, I nodded in response.
Chris pov
I was kinda shocked when my baby said she was ready for sex, but I was also excited to get to pleasure her. After some making out and grinding, I got some look and started to stretch her out with my fingers until I thought she was ready. I still asked if she thought she was ready to though, just to make sure. I got some more club and put it on my cock, stroking myself a few times before running my tip through her folds. “Are you ready mamas?” “Yes, just go slowly” “Of course I will” I lined myself up with her entrance and slowly pushed my tip in.
“You okay baby? Want me to stop?” I asked as soon as I saw the look of discomfort on Y/n’s face. “N-No keep going all the way then stop” “Okay sweetheart” doing as she said, I slipped myself all the way in her before bottoming out. She was so fucking tight but I needed to stay still until Y/n said it was okay to move, which she said after a few minutes. I was slowly thrusting into her, both of us groaning at the feeling when suddenly Y/n gripped my bicep. She was looking at me with innocent eyes when she said “Can you please go faster” I just nodded before pounding into her.
“Fuck baby, you’re so tight! I won’t last long like this mama.” I confessed, considering I haven’t had sex in well over a year, this was like heaven to me. “Me either, I’m already so close, you feel so good Chris” she whimpered, which went straight to my cock as she started to tighten around me. I moved my tumb down to start rubbing her clit which brought her over the edge as she came all over my cock. “Fuck Chris- holy shit- oh my god so good!” Y/n cried out as she tightened and came on my cock.
I quickly pulled out as ahead came down from her high and started pumping my cock, shooting out ropes of white as I came. Her tits and stomach were covered in my cum and she looked so hot. “That was amazing Chris!” “I’m glad you had a good first time because you were such a good girl for me.” I kissed her. After I fully caught my breath, I got up and grabbed a wet washcloth to wipe the cum off the both of us before throwing it into the hamper. I put on a clean pair of boxers and dressed Y/n in one of my shirts and panties before turning off the lights and drifting off to sleep with Y/n.
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words-4u · 6 months
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down to their bones
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pairing: jordan li x f!reader
wc: 875
warnings: none, a bit angsty, minor jealousy, lots of fluff
a/n: listened to your bones by clesea culter while writing this and kind of used it as an inspo - don't have to listen to it but you should for vibes especially near the end
hero ethics was once a class you were excited for but now that you were a month into the course, you realize it's not at all what you expected.
all you do is watch a shit ton of videos and theorize hypotheticals, there's nothing even remotely physical involved which is what you really wanted the most.
instead here you were with lia, your partner for an upcoming presentation that dean shetty insisted the class do after she took over for brink. 
“you know i still can’t believe shetty wants us to speak for 20 full minutes on ‘aero dynamics of human flight’” you said looking at the late professor brink’s book before tossing it to the side. “i can’t even fly!”
“well, i can and it doesn’t take a rocket science to figure out how,” lia laughed. she was sprawled on your double bed that was littered with two copies of the book, laptops, pens and little stickies. “i’m a hands on learner, i need to be out there in the open skies.”
she fell back on your bed and in to a fake daydream. 
“i think someone needs to get their head out of the clouds and help me with this presentation or else we’ll fail,” you leaned in playfully tapping her forehead with a highlighter. of course this is the exact most your significant other, jordan, walks in to your room.
“uuuh…hello?” jordan said. they walked in clearly having come back from the gym, in their baggy shorts, cropped blue sweater and their short bob in a ponytail.
they were expecting to find you on your own, wanting to spend the rest of the evening with you, not to find you on your bed with another girl.
“hi babe,” you raced to jordan and placed your hands on their shoulders as you kissed them. you knew something was off the second they didn’t kiss back and you were right because as you pulled back, their eyes were glued to your bed. where lia was. 
“i’m sorry, and who are you?” jordan snapped. you were slightly taken aback because this was a side of jordan you haven't seen.
“jordan, that’s lia, my partner for hero ethics and lia this is jordan, my partner outside of hero ethics and everything else,” you smiled between the two people in your room.
“yeah, they are ranked number 5 in the whole school, y/n, i know who they are. i just didn’t know you were dating a star student,” lia said looking impressed. 
“you didn’t know?” jordan parroted. “she didn’t know?”
“we got paired up like 4 hours ago on this project. it wasn’t exactly at the top of my list of things to speak to her about.”  you whispered. 
you turned to lia. “um, i’m just gonna talk to jordan outside for like 5 minutes, you can take a break if you want.”
lia gave two thumps up before pulling out her vphone.
you grabbed jordan by the wrist and dragged them out of your dorm and into the hall way. there were a couple students walking up and down the hall and some more in a corner chatting about the latest viral video from the Seven but overall it was empty enough to have this much needed conversation.
by the time you shut your door, jordan had shifted to their male form.
“what the hell is wrong you?” you asked poking their shoulder. 
jordan clenched their jaw. “what are you talking about?”
“w-what am i talking about?” you asked back. “i’m talking about the fact that lia is lucky you don’t have laser eyes or she’d fucking toast. literally!”
“i walk into your room and you have another girl on your bed, y/n, how am i supposed to feel?”
the look on their face was suddenly transparent and it dawned on you.
“you’re jealous? over a classmate? is that it?” you asked, this time your voice carrying a softer tone. 
jordan didn’t look too pleased with the fact that they let something so trivial get to them.
“j, use your words,”
“you guys just looked so close,” they said looking at you with their big brown eyes.
you sighed. “well, we’re not. but we do need to get along cause this project is worth 30% and you know your girl can’t and won’t fail,” you said which caused them to smile a bit.
“besides,” you continued pushing their back against the wall and wrapping your hands around their neck. “i’m sort of already in love with someone, like right down to their bones, and as long as they are in my life no one else stands a chance.”
jordan leaned their forehead against yours. “i’m sorry for how i reacted. it was shitty.”
“apology accepted,” you whispered. “now give me a kiss. a proper one this time,”
jordan brushed their lips against your before kissing the air out of you. it was getting a little too hot for two people standing in a hallway and you were never one for major pda so you pulled away smiling.
“okay now you're just being a distraction,” you grinned up at them.
“okay, fine i’ll go but just to make sure, it was me who you were talking about, right?”
you chuckled playfully shoving them down the hall. “yes, you big idiot. now go and come back in 2 hours when you can really make it up to me.”
jordan smirked. “i’ll be counting down the seconds."
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if you want to request something, there's a link in my bio (the more detailed the better <3)
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springseasonie · 1 year
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Hate me more | LMH (M)
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Enemies to lovers, Camp counselors Mark x Fem reader
Summary: You really dislike Mark and you're pretty sure he dislikes you too. Ever since he came to the camp last year, he's been nothing short of a headache to you. And now you're forced to work with him this summer, and his mission is clearly to piss you off.
Warnings: sexual content, heavy dubcon/cnc themes, unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), kissing (shocker), Mark is annoying, so is the reader tbh, may be errors even though proof read
Word count: 7,7k
Song recs: kiss by NCT dojaejung (this is my way of promoting the unit go stream)
A/N: I was gonna write something for the release of golden hour but this took a bit longer than expected 😭 10 days later an I finally finished it lmao please give feedback if you want it's always appreciated
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"Okay kiddos make sure you have all your things before we go back to the cabins okay?"
"Yes Ms. Y/N!"
You gave them a thumbs up as you leaned on a tree, waiting for all the kids to pack up. This was your life every summer for the past 4 years. Being a camp counselor was a lot of work the first time, but by the end of the summer, you had to come back. You loved your kids and they loved you. The staff was always so welcoming and nice. That was true until Mark started the third summer.
He was such an asshole. All the other female counselors gushed over him and his looks. He was constantly flirting with everyone, using his looks and charisma to get himself out of shit. It annoyed you, and Mark instantly took notice. He would side eye you all the time and talk about you as if you weren't friends with everyone else. He didn't really care though, he enjoyed being confronted by you every time he got "caught." Mark found your anger funny, never really taking you seriously.
And now you're paired to work with him this summer.
"Ms. Y/N, where is Mr. Mark? I need help getting something out a tree," one of the kids asked.
"That's a good question honey." You glanced around the area, looking over both shoulders to try and get a sign of him. And of course, he's nowhere to be found. "I don't see him around. We're just gonna have to wait for him okay?"
The little girl nods and runs back to her friends. Ten minutes go by and you start to get annoyed. This happened way more often than you would like to think. Mark disappears to do something or someone for way too long and you're left to take care of the kids by yourself. Sometimes, you almost think it's unbelievable how unreliable he is, sneaking away leaving you alone with 20 children in a forest. But then again, it's on brand for him.
5 more minutes went by and you start to get frustrated. You have no idea what he could be doing that's going to cause all of you to be late for dinner time. "Okay everyone please listen to me okay?" All the kids stop talking and turn to you. "I'm gonna go look for Mr. Mark, but I need all of you to sit in 5 rows of 4. Now." All the kids practically run to sit next to their friends and plop down on the floor.
"Good. None of you move or get up. If anything happens, scream at the top of your lungs okay? I'll be right back." All of the kids agreed as you turned to walk into the forest, going the way you last saw him.
"So fucking irresponsible," you muttered to yourself. "How the hell am I supposed to watch 20 kids by myself?"
You could still hear the kids, so you know you weren't too far away from the area or the trail. This wasn't new for you, always looking for him. It's only been a month since the both of you had to start working together, and he was already making shit hard for you. Mark liked to go hide somewhere. it was either to get away from you, the kids, or to get blown off by some staff member. You couldn't stand it.
"I mean seriously, can't he control himself for one fucking summer," you grumble. "Fucks everything that walks. What an ass."
"Well I wouldn't say that."
Your body jumped violently suddenly hearing his voice next to you. You whipped your head in his direction seeing him sitting, leaning in a tree. Mark had his ear buds in and from where you were standing, you could still hear the music playing.
"Where the hell were you," you asked angrily.
Mark stood up and dusted his pants off as he walked to you. You crossed your eyes, eyeing him up and down. He was so smug about everything. He always looked like something was amusing to him, like there was always a joke to tell.
"Here," he said.
"Clearly. And how the hell do you even have a working phone out here. There is literally no service."
Mark shrugged, wrapping the ear buds around his phone and putting it in his back pocket. "I downloaded stuff before I came."
"Whatever, let's go," you said, rolling your eyes.
"Where are the kids," he asked you, placing his hands in his pockets as he walked.
"In the same place I left them. I had to come get you like you were a lost child. Stop leaving me with all these kids."
Mark smiled in amusement as he walked behind you. You didn't really notice, but you tend to stomp when you are angry. And fortunately for Mark, it wasn't annoying. He actually found it cute, but he wouldn't tell you that.
"Can we take a break? My legs hurt," he whined teasingly.
"Mark, stop playing games. We have 20 kids in the forest waiting for us to come back and the sun will start setting soon," you replied, sighing heavily.
"Oh please we'll be okay."
And at this moment, you've just about had it with him. You turned around, lips pursed at his nonchalant response. Mark stopped in his tracks, looking up at you as you stood on the top of the small hill. "You have one more time to piss me off or I will report you. I'm not joking."
Mark's amused expression washed away as you turned around and kept walking. For the rest of the walk back, he said nothing. Soon enough, the both of you got back to the kids who were still sitting and chatting.
You sighed, groaning quietly. "I'm gonna do another headcount. You get that thing out of the tree."
"Why couldn't you just do it," he complained.
"Because- you know what, just get it out the tree."
You counted all of the kids, double and triple checking everyone and the area around you. Soon enough, Mark got the toy that was stuck in the tree out, and everyone was ready to leave. "Okay everyone you know the drill. Get your buddy and get in line. Mark, you'll watch the back."
"Didn't sound like a question," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"I wasn't asking."
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"I swear to you I will kill him if I'm ever alone with him again."
"He's really not that bad," Somi said, taking another bite of her pancake.
"Please, bad is an understatement," you say as you sit down. "He fucking left me with 20 kids, and then when we got back and I told him how dangerous that was, he says 'but you handled it, right?'"
Somi laughs, clearly amused at your story. You give her a confused look, not understanding why she wasn't siding with you. "Y/N, anything he says makes you angry."
"That's not the point!" Somi stops laughing when she sees how upset you are. "He left me and 20 kids in the forest near sunset to sit on his ass and listen to music. Then got an attitude with me because I was telling him what do when he wanted to act like a fucking child. I'm tired of it, Somi. I've been dealing with this for a month."
"Shit, I didn't think it was that serious," she said, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly.
"We literally could've had a bear encounter or something. I don't want to keep taking responsibility for his shit," you say, sighing heavily. "Anyways, I'm done complaining. Let's just eat."
You went to bed last night still completely angry at what happened in the forest. Mark didn't say anything to you walking back, but your conversation once you got back to the main camp was nothing short of unpleasant. It consisted of all your usual unpleasantries with him. Mark didn't really seem to care much though. You hated that you always let him get a rise out of you once you said you weren't going to do it anymore. And at this point, you had to get to the bottom of it.
You looked around the dining hall trying to find Mark. You knew he was there, he always came late after roughhousing with the kids in his cabin. Searching around some more, you spot him in line getting food. "I see him."
"Please don't harass the man," Somi begged you.
"Too late." You got up and walked to him. You really needed all this bad energy between the both of you to disappear. You weren't too sure about him, but it made every day difficult and you couldn't deal with it all summer. "Hey buddy," you said, tapping his shoulder.
"Didn't know we were friends."
The fake smile immediately turned into a frown. "Our conversation from last night isn't finished."
Mark groaned quietly as you followed his pace in the line. "Why do you keep bothering me if you don't like me?"
"I'm not bothering you, I'm trying to figure out what your deal is," you whisper yell. You followed Mark to his usual seat with the other male counselors, taking a seat right next to him. You were too focused on him to notice the confused stares you got from everyone else.
"Um, hey Y/N," Haechan greeted you awkwardly. "Is this…your new spot?"
"I came to talk to your friend if you don't mind."
"She's crazy," Mark blurted out, making the table laugh.
You smacked him on the arm, making him turn to you with the brightest smile you've seen all summer. And for some reason this was the first time you looked at him without feeling pure irritation. He was actually pretty…cute?
You couldn't look directly in the eyes, fearing that the anger you felt all morning would go away. Instead of speaking, you got up and went back to the table with Somi.
"So..what happened," she questioned.
"Nothing."
"You don't seem too upset by it," Somi observed.
"What..what are you talking about," you said, trying to deflect.
"You can't fool me, you're terrible at lying," she laughed. Somi took another bit of her pancake, but stopped laughing, giving you a look as if she found out something. "Do you like him?"
"Keep your voice down! And don't eat with your mouth full, you look like a damn kid."
"Y/N, do you like him?"
"Of course not! I can't stand the man," you deny.
Somi squints her eyes and side eyes you, but says nothing. You know she doesn't believe you, but it doesn't really matter because either way, you don't like him. "Okay..just know that today is your day to clean the kitchen."
"I know," you said with a sigh.
"And his also," she reminded you.
"Goodness kill me now."
-
You and Mark cleaned the dishes in the kitchen silently, not daring to say a word. There was an unspoken rule between the 2 of you at the moment, first person to speak surrenders to the other for the entire summer. You'll never surrender to him, no matter what it takes (that's what you want to believe anyway.) Mark had been stealing glances for about 30 minutes now, watching you clean meticulously and quietly. He always thought you were pretty, except for when you were being annoying that is. He always thought of himself as the bigger person, despite his childish nature, so he thought he should end this silent game sooner than expected.
"Did you get sleep," he asked.
"Why do you care?"
"I can't be concerned about my friend," he said. Mark chuckled softly when you sucked your teeth.
"Why do you insist on pissing me off," you say, turning to him. "Like I really don't understand why you don't like me. Since you came here last year, I've been nothing short of annoyed with you."
"It's never been my intention, but I just happen to strike those emotions in some women."
"What the fuck does that mean?" You put down the dirty dishes, crossing your arms as you looked at him with a brow raised.
"It means," he replied, turning to you, "that the more women are attracted to me, the less they like me."
You scoffed, getting back to cleaning the dishes. "You wish. You're out of your fucking mind."
"If I'm crazy, then what exactly was that earlier," he asked. You didn't know, but Mark definitely noticed how you backed off of him during breakfast. The way your expression changed, how quick you got up. It almost seemed like you were running from something, and he knew exactly what it was. "I know you like me."
"I don't like you. I just didn't want to talk to you in front of all your friends. They were laughing at me, so I left," you explained. Mark took two steps to you, his body ending up close to yours. You backed up a bit, not understanding why he was close to you, but he followed you again. "What are you doing?"
"Testing something out," he said simply.
"Look I don't know what you're testing but I'm busy. " Just as you moved away from him, he placed his arms beside you, trapping you under him. The both of you have never been this close before. Sure there were times where he had to catch you or hold you for activities in the forest, but there was nothing like this. This was close. This was personal.
"What are you doing," you asked, shock written all over your face.
"Standing here." Mark's lips curled into a smirk as his eyelids dropped once glancing at your lips. "You're pretty."
"Thank you but I really need to-"
"You know," he started,"you never told me what you wanted to talk about before you left the table."
You sighed, making a dramatic pained expression. "Mark, please. Can you back up?"
"No."
You looked up at him, surprised that his face was closer than before. One more move and your lips would've probably touched his. 'Why am I even thinking about that right now,' you thought to yourself.
"I know you wanna kiss me," he said almost in a whisper. Mark chuckled softly seeing the frazzled look on your face. You were so easy to read, always saying you didn't like him knowing damn well you wanted him. He just wanted to make you say it. He wanted to break your prideful attitude down and make you beg for him.
"You are saying insane things right now." You couldn't even look him in the eye, too afraid you would melt under his body. He was too close. You couldn't control your heart beat or your whirling mind. 'Maybe kissing him wouldn't be so bad,' you thought to yourself, but pushed the thought to the back of your head.
"But you didn't say I was wrong," he said, leaning into your neck.
"Mark, seriously." The slight whine in your voice made you want to run and hide from everyone. You felt like you were going to collapse into his hands the closer he got. His voice was so soft, but his presence was still so dominating. It was almost too much for you to bear.
"What would you do if I kissed you right now," he whispered in your ear, a smile on his face. "Would you push me away, take it and get mad, or maybe give me another one?"
You could barely look at him, let alone speak. You had no idea how to respond to him. You didn't even know if you were supposed to. But what you did know is that if he made one more move or said anything else, you would most likely lose your mind. "Mark, it's too early in the morning for this," you said practically begging him to stop.
Mark released his hand from the counter, placing it on your waist. His grip was firm as he pressed you against the counter more, body so close his leg was between yours. "You're not even trying to run at this point. You little liar."
"Mark..what if someone comes in here?"
"Let them. Why do you care? Are you scared," he teased. Mark kissed the spot behind your ear softly, making you gasp. Your body tensed up in his hand, causing him to rub small circles in your waist in an attempt to comfort you. He kept missing down your neck, moving back up to kiss your jawline.
You stood there, still as a tree. Your eyes fluttered shut, taking in the feeling of his lips on your skin. At this rate there was no point in fighting it. He had already won like he did with everyone else. You felt Mark's hand leave your waist, grabbing your chin as he ran his finger down your bottom lip.
"If you want me to stop I will."
You shook your head unconsciously, brows slightly frowning at his words. You were desperate and he definitely knew from the way you were frozen and speechless.
"Good girl." Mark kissed you softly, but deeply. His hand slowly made its way to the back of your neck, pulling you closer to him. You dare to touch him, feeling like it was way too intimate. But before you could even pull away, he kissed you again, this time with even more sincerity. You didn't know why you had such a heavy feeling in your chest, but it did scare you a little bit.
"We have to finish all of this stuff in 15 minutes. You think we can make it," he asked on your lips.
"If you stop fast enough, maybe.."
Mark chuckled softly at your response, pulling away from you. He was clearly extremely turned on, but you were not the kind to help him with his problem, and he knew that. But that didn't stop his mind from drifting, thinking about how hot it would be if you dropped to your knees at this very moment.
"Wasn't that fun Y/N?"
"What are you talking about," you said, covering your face in embarrassment.
"Unwinding instead of having a stick up your ass," he jabbed.
You dropped your hands, scoffing at him. You shoved your way out of his arms, walking to the sink he was at previously. "Gosh, you're so annoying," you mumbled as you scrubbed the dirty plates.
"Yeah but you like it though."
"You wish."
"Proved my point."
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You and Mark haven't spoken since the kitchen fiasco. You said a couple of words to each other when it came to the kids, but nothing more than that. You couldn't even look at him, the shame filling your body once he came into your vision. But one thing was for sure- you definitely didn't hate him as much. You were still very confused. You didn't understand where all those feelings came from for Mark in the kitchen. Maybe your subconscious? It didn't really matter, you just wanted to make sense of everything.
"Okay everyone, tonight is movie night so we need to leave a little early okay," you announced.
Mark leaned on a tree silently watching you as you interacted with the kids. You didn't know that he had conflicting feelings as well. All the teasing and messing around turning into sexual tension was not what he hoped for. He just wanted to mess with you. He wasn't actually going to kiss you for real, but when he saw the desperate scrunch of your eyebrows, how could he resist himself? If it weren't for the kids, he would definitely have his way with you right on the ground, but nothing in his life ever works right.
Mark admired the way you were with them, always so nice and careful. You were careful with anything really, never wanting to come off as irresponsible or rude. But he never cared about any of that. He didn't care if people thought he was a prick or an ass, which is why you were so intriguing to him. He never got a chance to actually introduce himself to you before you can dislike him as easily as you did.
After 20 minutes of walking back to the main site, the sun had finally set and all the kids and counselors went back to their respective cabins before going to the lake for movie night.
"So you're telling me," Somi started,"after all these months of not liking him, he came onto you in the kitchen and you didn't refuse?"
"I know, I know it's humiliating," you grumbled putting on your shirt.
"Enemies to lovers. My favorite trope."
You let out a loud embarrassed groan listen to her words. "We only kissed twice. We didn't say anything to each other for the rest of the day," you added.
"Not even for your group," she questioned.
"Well of course we did, but very little. He was..so distant," you said. You slipped into your jean shorts and put your shoes back on quickly. "I'm gonna go make sure all the girls are ready." You got up and walked outside to see everyone playing around. Just as you were about to round up your cabin, you see Mark who's talking to some of his kids. You wanted to stop staring at him, but you couldn't. You gulped as he glanced at you, giving you a small wave. "I hate him," you muttered to yourself almost as if you were trying to convince yourself it was true.
You shake your head, attempting to push what happened out of the forefront of your mind, but it's hard to do that when he's walking up to you. You turn away from his direction, hastily gathering the girls from your cabin. Just as you were about to make your way to the lake, you were tapped on the shoulder. Turning around agonizingly slowly, you face him with a fake smile.
"Hi," you said awkwardly.
"Hey, so listen-"
"I can't talk right now, we're about to head to the lake," you interrupted.
"I know but-"
"Can't talk."
Mark sighed, looking down at his shoes. He knew you were difficult, but not like this. "Can we talk after the movie?"
"Talk..about what? There's nothing to talk about," you say dismissively.
Mark rolled his eyes, walking away from you. You looked behind yourself, watching him walk back with his hands in his pockets. All that you could hope for was him forgetting whatever conversation he wanted to have with you.
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Your cabin was the first to get to the lake while Mark's was the last like always. The movie started at 7, so thankfully for you, you could be left alone for 2 hours. You leaned against a tree as you watched the movie projected on the sheet quietly.
Unlike you, Mark was watching you silently, eyes never leaving your body as you stared at the screen. He knew you wanted nothing to do with him even after he kissed you, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He's never been in a situation like this before. Having to chase after you was starting to dampen his pride, but he liked it.
He watched as you whispered to Somi about something, not able to read your lips. Maybe he shouldn't have thought to follow you as you walked away from everyone, but getting to be alone with you came rare, so he had to take his chances.
"Hey, I'm gonna go back to the cabin. I forgot something," he whispered to Haechan.
"Okay, be quick though. I don't wanna be responsible for you," he replied.
Mark gave him a dry laugh and walked away, following you from behind. Mark picked up that you were going to your cabin after a few turns on the trail. The sun was starting to set, so he began to rationalize he weird actions to himself. "It's not weird that I'm following her," he muttered to himself quietly. "I'm just keeping her safe." It was surprising how you didn't notice anyone was following you. You were usually always attentive, but it seems that you were only that way with other people.
Soon enough, the both of you made it to your cabin. You went inside with a big sigh, letting the door slam behind you. Mark would be a kind person and knock on the doors but he wasn't all that kind, so scaring you is the option he went with. Mark quickly went up to the door, opening it quietly. Your back was turned as you rummaged through a bag for something, causing you to not hear his footsteps or the door creaking open.
"Boo!"
"Fuck," yelled, body jumping violently as you turned around. "Mark?"
"Surprise."
You scoffed rolling your eyes at his jazz hands motion. "You're not funny. Now get out, this is a girls cabin."
"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted to talk." He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms as you went back to looking for whatever you were looking for.
"I really don't care, just leave," you said sternly.
Mark had enough of beating around the bush with you, the constant teasing, and asking dumb questions. He had to know why there was bad blood between you, especially after you let him kiss you that morning. "Why don't you like me?"
"You're kidding." You let out a dry laugh as you turned to face him. "I don't like you? I'm pretty sure it's the other way around."
"I'm just curious because since last year, you never gave me a chance, so I really want to know," he said, lifting his brows with a small smile.
"I want you to tell me why you don't like me first, then maybe I'll consider explaining myself to you."
Mark took small steps towards you, not being able to control the smirk on his face when you furrow your brows in confusion. "You're uptight and rude to me. And you never give me your attention unless it's to be rude with me, and I hate that that's the only way I get to talk to you. You only want to speak to me if it's to tell me how bad of a job I'm doing or how frustrating it is to be around me or work with me."
"That's not true, I-"
"I'm not done." You closed your mouth, intimidated by how commanding his voice was. "Then you go around and say to everyone how much you hate me. I know you complain to Somi and all the other counselors, and that's fine. But next time I would like to hear it from you directly."
"That I hate you?" You gave him a weird look, making him chuckle softly.
"Yes. Tell me that you hate me." He was walking closer to you slowly, arms now at his sides as he looked down at you with hungry eyes. Your arms were still crossed as you stood there, not allowing yourself to show how intimidating he was to you. Your face was calm, but your heart was beating faster with every step he took.
"I'm not telling you I hate you. Can I talk now," you asked.
"Go for it."
"You're fucking annoying and not helpful. You came into this camp last year and made all these friends and everyone liked you instantly. Everyone says you're funny and such a great guy but I have yet to see it. All you've done since you've been here was piss me off."
"You wanna know why," he said. He leaned down to your ear, a smile tugging at his lips. "Because you're pretty when you're angry."
"That's not funny," you said, looking away from him.
"I wasn't joking." Mark moved away from you, eyes going straight to your lips.
"Seriously mark, I don't care that you like to get me riled up, but yesterday was uncalled for. Do you have any idea…will you stop staring at me like that?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Mark could barely concentrate on what you were saying. Your expression, the way you spoke, how close the 2 of you were. All he wanted was to just kiss you and shut you up for the night. Mark could barely keep his hands off you, every bit of self restraint coursing through his veins.
You sighed trying to back up from him, but all you did was bump the edge of your bed making you fall back. You plopped on the thin mattress placing your hand behind you to stay balanced on the bed. Mark's gaze turned dangerous, staring at you as if you were prey.
"God you're so hot," he mumbled.
"Mark," you said, his name coming out a bit breathlessly.
Before you could finish your sentence, he pinned your body to the bed. You were dead silent as you watched his eyes move rapidly along your face and body. "Mark..we can't. We have to be back soon."
"Stop fighting it. Just say you want me," he mumbled quietly. He leaned into your neck, breath tickling your skin as you closed your eyes.
You shook your head, brows furrowing as you tried to push the feeling to the back of your head. But the only thing you can think about is how his hands are leaving your wrists as he moves them down your body. Your breath hitched when his fingertips brushed against the slightly exposed skin of your stomach. You didn't stop him as he lifted your shirt, hands attaching to waist firmly.
The both of you stayed silent, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of breathing and your old bed creaking at every movement he made. You watched him as he moved his hands lower, fingers resting on the button of your jean shorts. Mark looked at you for any signs of you wanting to stop, but all he saw was the desperation on your face.
You gulped watching him unbutton and unzip your shorts, lifting your hips as he tugged them off you. Mark took his shirt off, laying it next to your shorts. He hooked his fingers on your underwear, pulling them off you quickly. You let out a small yelp when he tugs you towards him, throwing your leg over his shoulder as he moves between your legs.
'Just get on with it,' was all you could think. You were way too eager to get him between your legs, and at this point, nothing was going to stop it. "Hurry up," you said, breaking the long silence.
Mark didn't say anything or look at you, all he did was smile as his face disappeared between your legs. A small gasp of please leaves your lips as he kitten licks your core. You close your eyes, letting your head fall back onto the mattress taking in every movement. He ran his hand up and down your leg, nails lightly scratching your skin making you shiver. Needing more friction, you begin to grind yourself on his tongue slowly, but he stops you with a hold on your hips.
"We're gonna do this nice and slow okay," he said.
"We can't, we have to get back soon."
"They'll be okay. There's more than enough people out there." Before you could say anything his mouth was back on your core, tongue pressing against your sensitive bud hard. Without thinking your hands made their way to his hair, fingers running through the blonde locks. Mark kept licking at you agonizingly slow, chuckling when you whined for more. He would speed up at moments, flicking his tongue against your clit faster just to tease you, then stop.
"Please," you begged breathlessly, "it feels like I'm being punished."
"I know," he mumbled.
You smacked him on the side of his head softly, making the male look up at you with a brow raised. "I fucking hate you."
Mark chuckled, removing one of his hands from your hip. He didn't take his eyes off of you as he slid two fingers into you, pumping them slowly. Mark watched as you basically fell apart in his hands, moans never stopped spilling from your lips. He began licking your clit, but faster, almost sending you over the edge.
"Shit, don't stop," you whined softly. You couldn't control your hips as you grinded against his fingers and tongue. Your jaw dropped when he fingered you faster. Gripping his hair, your hips moved on their own as you grinded faster. You were so close, your core pulsing on his fingers. "Fuck I'm gonna cum," you whined.
Your whines became louder, the pornographic sounds of your moaning, bed creaking, and sounds coming from Mark filling the empty cabin. This is one the many times you thanked God no one was around. Your eyes rolled back and body shuddered as your orgasm hit you like a truck making you mumble curses that not even Mark could make out. You let go of his hair, plopping back down on your mattress breathing heavily.
"I'm assuming that was the first time you came in a month?" Mark slid his fingers out of you slowly, wiping the digits on your sheets. He moved your leg off his shoulder, lifting himself from between your legs.
"Do you think I'm getting myself off after hiking and being around kids in this damn camp everyday," you asked, rolling your eyes at his statement.
"No. I think you're too uptight to do that," he said with a soft chuckle.
"It's crazy that you're still calling me uptight like I won't get up and leave."
Mark didn't respond to you, laughing softly to himself knowing you wouldn't move either way. He moved off the bed untying his sweats. You watched him as he let his clothes fall to the ground, eyeing his body. Not that you couldn't get it before, but now you see why he was a big deal to the other female counselors.
"Aren't we gonna use protection," you asked, gulping when he was back in front of you.
"I don't have any," he mumbled.
"You're so fucking ridiculous," you grumbled. "You're lucky I'm on birth control."
Mark could barely hear you with how eager he was to see you lose yourself for him. No amount of mean words or insults could turn him off in the moment, every word you spoke sounded like exactly what he needed to hear. "You're so fucking hot when you're mad." His lids dropped as he grabbed your ankles, pulling you closer to him.
"Don't tease, we don't have all night," you whined.
Mark couldn't take his eyes off you as he lined himself with you, slowly entering you with ease. You looked pretty under the light of the setting sun peering through the window. The light hit your eyes perfectly as they rolled back, soft moans leaving your lips at the same time. Mark thrusted into you slowly holding your waist firmly. He wanted to savor the moment, finally able to get you under him, because even though he had you now, he might not ever get you again. It was taking everything in him to not ram into you after every move not wanting it to end too quickly.
With the way he was looking at you you thought he was gonna eat you alive. And in all honesty you would let him. It was conflicting to you that all this pent up aggression towards him exploded into sex, but you were clearly not that conflicted. You would never tell him, but you had always been attracted to him and the kiss was just the tip of the iceberg.
He slid his hands up the back of your legs, pinning them to your chest as he thrusted into you faster. Your moans echoed in the empty cabin, not even thinking about if anyone could be near. "Feels so good," you moaned.
"Who's making you feel good?"
"Fuck..you are," you whined, eyes fluttering shut as you take in pleasure.
"Good girl," he cooed. Mark watched as you slipped your hand between your legs, rubbing your clit at the same place as his thrust. His fingers were constantly kneading your legs, leaving prints in your skin. "You're close aren't you baby?"
You nodded fast, looking at him with desperate eyes. "Kiss me.. please."
Mark didn't have to think twice. He leaned down, capturing your lips in a heated kiss quite literally sticking his tongue down your throat. You sucked on the wet muscle, moaning loudly on his tongue every time he thrusted into you.
"Mark..fuck," you moaned softly. Mark took a hand off your leg, wrapping an arm on the small of your back pulling you closer to him. You kissed him again, moans and whimpers poured into his mouth.
Mark moaned softly against your lips as you squeezed around him, cumming on his length. You pulled away, your lewd sounds becoming louder as he didn't stop fucking you. Mark leaned down, kissing your neck messily as you clung onto his shoulder. Mark has never had this kind of passionate feeling with a person before. It was starting to feel like more than just a sexual attraction to him, maybe he did actually have feelings for you.
"Cum in me," you said cupping his face.
Mark looked at you, brows furrowing in uncertainty. "A-are you sure? I-"
"Please baby just cum for me," you mumbled, completely taken over by the pleasure spreading in your body. "Can you do that for me?"
"Anything for you," Mark breathed out. Your words went straight to his length, his pace speeding up as he felt himself closer to cumming.
Your jaw went slack, eyes rolling back as you felt another orgasm creeping up on you. "Y-you're gonna make me cum," you whimpered.
With just a few more thrust, both you and Mark came at the same time, loud moans and groans filling the space. Mark's body went limp, laying on top of you with his face buried on the side of your neck. No one said anything for a minute, just laid there in each other's embrace trying to catch your breaths.
"I guess you don't hate me after all," Mark joked, breaking the silence.
"Only a little less."
Mark snickered as pulled himself out of you slowly. "Let's get you something to clean up with." He got up and pulled his boxers and pants on. You were sure it was because you just had sex with him, but the way you looked at him was different now. Before you were completely annoyed by his presence, but now even the little faces he made were endearing. Of course, Mark would never stop being an infuriating person to talk to but maybe you like talking to him. Maybe you liked being around him this whole time.
"If you want to go for round 2 just say it." Mark walked back to you with tissues, handing them to you with a smile. He chuckled softly when you gave him a frown for his comment. "Back to hating me I guess."
"I don't hate you Mark," you admit. The words felt unnatural to you, but they were the truth. You don't hate him, and you don't think you ever did.
"I'd like it if you did though," he said, sitting on the edge of your bed. "If what we just did considered hate fucking, please hate me more."
You rolled your eyes, tossing the dirty tissues in the trash bin across the room. "Who said it was gonna happen again?" Mark watched you closely as you shimmied back into your underwear and shorts. "What? Is there something on my face?"
"Yeah." He stood up, pulling you to him, making you gasp softly. Mark kissed you deeply, smiling against your lips when you kissed him back. "We should get back. I think we've been gone too long," he mumbled.
You nodded, kissing him one more time before he pulled away from you agonizingly slow. "Please don't be weird when we get back. I don't want to have to hate you again," you joked.
"Didn't I just tell you I want you to hate me more?"
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"What do you mean you fucked him last night," Somi whisper yelled.
"Yeah..I did..right on the bed you're sitting on."
"Ew ew ew." She shot up from your bed with a frown on her face, making you laugh loudly. "Seriously what is wrong with you, why didn't you say that before I sat down?"
"Thought your reaction would be funny, and it was," you'd aid giggling.
Somi looked at you with disgust on her face, dusting off her body. "Anyways…are you guys like..a thing now?"
"I don't know. I don't think so," you answered.
"Well do you wanna be a thing?"
"Well..I think I do," you admitted. "But I don't know him that well, you know. All I did was have sex with him. What if he doesn't want anything," you said.
"You want me to be honest?"
"Please do."
"I think you should go talk to him. Like right now," she suggested.
"Now? I don't even know if he's in his cabin," you stated.
"Just go. If he's not there, go back another time. You should talk to him while your feelings are still fresh," she suggested.
Somi was right. Even though you thought it was still a bit early to talk to him, you couldn't stop thinking about him all day and all night. Throughout the day, the both of you kept stealing glances, staring at each other but not saying a word. It's been hard trying to keep your bubbling feelings for him at bay, especially when you're working so close for the summer. But Somi was right, it wouldn't hurt to try.
You nodded, sighing softly. "You're right. I should go." You turned walking to the door, but when you opened it, Mark was standing there, hand up like he was about to knock.
"Oh," you said, surprised. "Hi."
"Hey," he said, looking everywhere but at you. "Can I, um, talk to you?"
"Uh, yeah. You wanna talk here or.."
"Just walk with me. Please?" You've never seen him so nervous or unsure before. It was kind of cute. You agreed, leaving the cabin and walking along the trail with Mark.
The first couple of minutes were silent. Neither one of you said anything. The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of your feet on the dirt trial and the laughter of children from afar. But it wasn't an awkward kind of silence. It felt comfortable, he felt comfortable and warm.
"I really like you Y/N," he started. "And I know it might be weird for you, but I just felt like you had to hear it."
His words went straight to your heart, making it beat faster with every syllable. You blinked fast, not really knowing how to respond. You were afraid of coming into him too strongly, saying something that would scare him away, but you had to say something.
"I..like you too," you confessed. Your face was beginning to heat up, palms becoming clammy from the nervousness. You haven't been like this since middle school, all shy and nervous.
"So..where should we go from here?" Mark raised a brow and looked at you. You glanced at him quick enough to not want to run away from the situation all together. He grabbed your hand, making you pause mid step. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it at this point, and you were sure he could too.
"I, uh, I don't know," you stuttered.
Mark chuckled, clasping his fingers with yours. "I've never seen you so nervous."
"I'm not nervous." You don't know who exactly you were trying to prove that too, but it definitely wasn't him because as soon as you spoke he laughed.
"I think we should start over this summer," he said. "I think we should meet each other for the first time again."
You looked at him confused. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," he started, turning to you. He stopped walking and tugged your hand to look at him. "I mean we should start again from a clean slate. I want to get to know you better on a good note, but only if you're willing."
You gulped looking down at your feet. You must've looked like a kid with the way mark was smiling down at you. "I..I would like that. I'd like that a lot actually." You looked at him, expression going from shy to worriedm. "I'm sorry for y'know being rude and everything."
Mark didn't say anything, allowing your words to linger for a moment before he leaned down and kissed you. The kiss was softer this time, more innocent. Mark pulled away with a small smile on his face. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything. I know I've been an ass, and I'm willing to make up for it."
It was hard to keep a smile off your face and stop yourself from blushing like a kid. "If we do this, will you stop talking to me once we're out of here," you asked.
"Y/N when I said I liked you I was serious. I don't want this to be a summer fling. I actually want to get to know you before I date you," he explained.
Your eyes went wide, completely flustered from his statement. "You want to date me?" Your heart fluttered repeating his words almost immediately, getting butterflies in your stomach. "But I've been so terrible to you and-"
"So? We like each other and we should explore that this summer."
You nodded, a smile tugging at your lips. You let go of his hand and placed it on the back of his neck, kissing him. This was the first time you kissed him. And it felt good. It felt good knowing that you didn't have to keep trying to convince yourself you didn't like him, or that you were never attracted to him. You pulled away, eyes never leaving the man in front of you. You didn't know if this conversation would make a difference for the rest of the day or the rest of the summers, but if Mark was true to a hate he said, you could wait.
But if not, then maybe you just might hate him for real.
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gardens-light · 9 months
Text
Finding Peace
Taking shelter in an abandoned petrol station, tension builds between you and your family. As blame and arguments raise- not like you didn't feel guilty enough already. You didn't ask for this- any of this! You just wanted to help Optimus. And it's not like the Autobot leader didn't have problems of his own. Being hunted down by humans for reasons yet unknown was bad enough- but ignoring the yearning of his Spark has slowly become problematic. Occasionally shaking his helm attempting to get you out of his processors, trying to convince himself that a 'Sparkmate' was nothing but a romancide idea that the younger bots came up with. Or is it?...
Content: Minor coarse language. Event's take part in Transformers- Age of Extinction. (Leading to major spoilers in Part 4.) Optimus x Human F/Reader. Fluff. (Reader insert.)
Sparkmate Series- Part 1 Part 2 Part 4 Part 5
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"Well... on the bright side." Tessa's voice lowly spoke, while sitting upon a dusty bar. Playing with some fairy lights. "You two have finally met.."
"Where's he from?"
"I told you. He's a driver from Texas."
"Texas?" Cade scoffed at Tessa's words. "Where? Dublin, Texas? Shamrock, Texas? So why does he sound like a leprechaun?"
Shane's brows knitted together, as he leaned against the bar. "You'd get your ass kicked in Ireland for saying that."
"Well we're not in Ireland, Lucky Charms. We're in Texas." Cade's attention turned back onto Tessa. "So he drives? What's that supposed to mean? Like he drives for a living?"
"Yeah... at least he makes a living."
Tessa's words caused Cade to fall silent. His eyes flickering up to you, frowning as you tried to avoid him.
"How old are you?" Cade challenged, approaching Shane.
"Twenty."
"And my daughter is seventeen. So as far as I'm concerned, this can go two ways." Cade leaned on the other side of the bar, glaring at Shane. "One, I punch you in the mouth right here, right now. And you call the police on me."
"Dad!-"
"Or two. I just call the cops on you because this is illegal. She's a minor!"
Steady... Steady... your thoughts wandered, while trying to focus on making a 'house of cards' out of beer coasters.
"We're protected by the 'Romeo and Juliet laws'-"
"We dated for a little while." Tessa explained, cutting Shane off. "I was a sophomore, and he was a senior. It's fine."
"We've got a pre-existing juvenile foundational relationship. Statute 2705-3." Shane took out his wallet, showing Cade the small card stating the law. "We're above board."
Cade sighed, "Romeo and Juliet, huh? Do you know how they ended up?"
Just... one more coaster...
"In love-"
"Dead." Cade turned to you. "And you, Y/N?"
Shit...
An unamused expression fell across your features as the coasters came tumbling down.
"Don't look at me like that, young lady. How long have you known about this?"
Cade rubbed his temples as you silently responded with a small shrug. "Well tell me. Days? Weeks?-"
"Months."
"Months...? And you didn't think that I would of wanted to know about this?-"
"Dad. Tessa is a full grown ass adult." You groaned. "She's capable of learning from a mistake or two."
"I trusted you. Both of you-"
"To what?" Tessa butted in. "Never have fun. Take a risk. Be a normal teenager like you?"
"I am your father, okay!" Cade firmly spoke, turning his attention onto Tessa. "And I've been busting my ass to take care of you and your sister!-"
"Oh so is that why I'm busting a gut trying to juggle two jobs?" You scoffed. "And here I thought, I'm the one who took care of this family."
"Is that what you were doing when you continued working on that damn truck?" Tessa spoke to you. A frown forming upon her lips, "all you had to do was report it.-"
"You know I couldn't do that-"
"And now we're forced into hiding. And my life is over! So 'thank you', Sis. You've taken 'real good' care us-"
"None of this would of happened! If you just kept your fucking mouth shut!-"
"Don't talk to your sister like that!" Cade stepped in.
"Sure Dad. Take her side... you always do."
"Y/N-"
"Look! I get it!" you raised onto your feet. "I know I'm 'the disappointment', 'the let down'-"
"Sweetie, I've never said that-"
Your eyes wandered over your dad's disappointed expression. "You didn't had to..."
---
Sitting upon the petrol stations' roof, the gentle breeze of the cool night air felt refreshing against your skin. Soft chirping of crickets eased your headache, your eyes gazing out into the dark empty road. The sound of small grunts and sighs caught your attention, briefly gazing over your shoulder. Rolling your eyes, once seeing Tessa struggling to climb the ladder with a mug in hand.
"What do you want?" you sighed, turning your attention back onto the road ahead.
"I thought- ouch!- that you could do with a hot drink."
The sound of the metal roofing warping and creaking, under Tessa's feet suddenly felt loud. As she approached you, taking a sit upon the roof's edge, leaving a small gap between you.
"I made your favourite." She kindly spoke, handing you the hot beverage. "I couldn't make it exactly to your liking, but it's the thought that counts. Right?"
Her weak smile faded as you remained silent. Speechlessly accepting the mug from her and holding it in your hands.
"You're not a disappointment." Tessa spoke after a brief hesitation. "For if it wasn't for you, we would of lost our home ages ago."
Tessa bit her lip before continuing, "I... did tell a friend about the truck. B-But I honestly didn't think he would believe me! If I knew- I wouldn't of..."
Your side glance caused her voice to trail off into silence.
"Well... what I'm trying to say... is that I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."
Sipping the hot beverage, feeling the gentle warmth fill you inside. Tessa followed your gaze, a small smile returning to her lips.
"You're worried about him. Aren't you?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"Yes." Tessa teased. "Like a lovesick girl."
You returned her smile, playfully pushing her away. "Oh shut up. You're talking nonsense, I'm just concerned about him. That's all."
"Uh-huh?" Tessa raised an eyebrow. Seeing a glimpse of you trying to hide a shy smile behind the mug.
"So... What's Dad doing?" you asked, trying to change the subject.
"Playing with some drone that he stole from the one of the guys. Dad's convinced that they would of truly killed us."
Tessa's heart sank as she watched you pull your legs close to your chest, hugging your knees a little while resting your mug against them.
"B-But that's just Dad's crazy thought." Tessa's guilt weighed on her heart a little more. Starting to wish she never said anything.
"Everything would of been fine, if only I watched what I was saying." You buried your head, resting your forehead against your knees and hiding your face. "I-If I didn't panic..."
"Shhh. Shhh." Tessa cooed, closing the gap between you. Placing her arm around your shoulders and resting her head against yours. "It's not your fault. You have a big heart, Y/N. Never be ashamed of that."
She gently pulled away, cupping your tearstained face and making you face her. "You are a rare treasure, and that Transformer better know that."
Finally smiling through your tears, Tessa rested her forehead against yours. The sound of a horn blaring in the distance broke the silence, while bright headlights burned the darkness away. You quickly raised onto your feet, causing Tessa to catch the falling mug while the hot beverage spilled onto the ground below.
You placed both hands against your chest, while gazing at the oncoming truck. Feeling it flutter with joy, as the sound of a faminular engine came to your ears.
Tessa rose onto her feet, giving you one last soft glance before leaving. A knowing smile forming upon her lips. You've got it bad...
Optimus carefully reduced his speed, as he walked out of his altmode. Trying to slow the pulsing rhythm of his spark as he approached you. Being mindful of each step he took, so it didn't appear like he was in a rush to be beside you again.
"Optimus..." your voice was low. Trying to hide the excitement within your tone.
"My deepest sympathies for your home." His soothing tone washed away the doubt and worries, that had been building up inside you. "And for leaving you so promptly. But I had to confirm we weren't followed."
You speechlessly nodded, trying to hold a relaxed expression as your eyes took in the sight of him.
Oh my...
Rust and dirt no longer coated his exterior, instead deep blue metal plates framed his chrome fisque, like pieces of armour. Your heart skipping a beat as your eyes wandered over him, taking in every detail of his broad shoulders and strong biceps.
Red flames danced across the gauntlets, but it was his torso you couldn't look away from. Your cheeks matched the warmth of Optimus' spark, as you gazed at his chest plate. Hands clutching onto your shirt, stopping the urge to reach out and run your fingertips over his toned form. Knowing that your touch wouldn't just stopped at that chromed waist of his.
"Loving the upgrade." Forcing the words out of your mouth, after swallowing your nerves.
Optimus got down on one knee, as you edged a little closer to the side of the roof. His blue optics studied you for a moment.
"You've been crying..."
Something inside him ached a little, as you temporarily turned away from him.
"It's nothing." You assured, brushing the dried tears off your cheeks. "I've just been... a little worried that's all."
"And I admittedly have been concerned about you."
That little sentence erupted butterflies in your stomach. Simply gazing up at him with wondering eyes.
How the stars sparkled in your eyes almost caused Optimus to choke on his own breath. Warmth begun to build beneath his metal plates, as his yearning spark called out for you.
His head tilted slightly as his scanners picked up something. Your body froze as he slightly hesitated before reaching out to you. Optimus' servo curled into a relaxed fist, your eyes peering down at it as he gently placed the knuckle of his index digit under your chin. While his thumb rested against your cheek.
His spark skipped a beat as a loving sigh slipped out of your mouth. Enjoying the cool touch of his metal against your soft skin.
Optimus carefully turned your head from side to side, studying your features. His scanners picking up the bruise that begun to form upon the bridge of your nose.
"That bastard hurt you." The small underlying anger within his tone caught you off guard. "I promise... I'll make him pay for what he's done to you."
"Optimus." You cooed, placing your hand on the back of his servo. Bringing it to the side of your face, resting your head against his digits.
His fans tried to push the warm air out of Optimus' vents, as the heat beneath his plates begun to build. His spark aching with a yearn he could no longer deny.
Closer... The word played on his processors. Causing him to fully kneel against the concrete ground, leaning in a little more.
Your loving eyes met the soft glow of his optics, as his servo slowly trailed down towards your waist. His thumb tracing the curves of your thighs, hips and waist.
The butterflies in your stomach tangled your nerves, your heart fluttering against your chest as a small gasp slipped from your lips. Eyes lingering over his features before closing, as you rested a hand against his chest plate.
As your heart matched the beat of Optimus' spark, syncing in harmony. A beautiful glow enveloped the pair of you, creating a warmth that made you almost forget about the world, as your lips ghosted over one another.
"Mr. Leader of the Free Galaxy is back!" an unknown mechanical voice caused you to quickly jump away from Optimus. "I knew you'd make it! I never doubted."
Crosshairs... Optimus' processors sighed. Trying to hide his disappointed expression as the leader faced his joyful Autobots. The sound of their roaring engines calming, before stepping out of their altmodes.
"We've got your warning." Drift greeted, "we've been waiting."
"Hell yeah! Boom time!" Hound cheered. "We've got the gang back together."
Drift tilted his head to the side, as his blue optics switched between you and Optimus. Smiling to himself as his processors picked up, the afterglow that slowly faded from the pair of you.
Optimus cleared his throat before speaking, "Autobots. The humans have asked us to play by their rules. Well... those rules have just changed."
"Humans, bunch of backstabbing weasels." Hound groaned, causing the ground to shake as he disarmed. Throwing heavy weaponries onto the floor.
"Hound, find your inner compass. Loyalty is nothing but a flower in the winds of fear and temptation."
Hound raised a brow at Drift's wise tone, "what the hell are you saying?"
The blue Autobot smiled, "it's a haiku-"
"Cut the crap! Before I drop a grenade down your throat."
You backed away from the edge of the roof, as Drift unsheathed his swords. "Try it" he challenged, "you'll be dead."
"Oh please do it." Hound taunted. "I wanna see you do it."
"You know what?" Bumblebee's radio buzzed, "it save us so much time."
Optimus gave you an unimpressed expression, as you gazed up at him, raising an eyebrow. A small chuckle left you as he speechlessly gestured to his Autobots. As to say, 'look what I have to put up with.'
"Well raise your hand, if you're thoroughly disenchanted with our little 'Earth vacation.'" Crosshairs spoke, while circling the petrol station. His green optics studying you, "so who's the spy?"
"Whoa! Whoa! Put those things away!" you yelped as Hound and Crosshairs immediately withdraw their guns, and pointing them at you.
"Stop, Hound! Both of you!" Optimus commanded, stepping in front of the building.
Both Autobots gave their leader a puzzled expression, as he continued. "Y/N, risked her life for mine. We owe her..."
Drift gave Bumblebee a playful nudge, discreetly pointing at you and Optimus. While Hound and Crosshairs briefly looked at one another, and turning their attention back onto their leader. Watching him stepping aside, and silently encouraging you to return to the roof's edge.
"Has there been... any sign of the others?" Optimus asked.
"No..." Hound sighed, withdrawing his weapon and settling himself upon the ground. "We're all that's left."
"They're picking us off, one by one!" Crosshairs explained.
"We're the pathetic, dirty foursome." Hound joked, "and you make five."
"Is this our best-case scenario?" Shane's teasing voice questioned you. Your eyes gazed at him, watching the Irishman climb onto the roof. "Autobot witness protection?"
"Hey Lucky Charms." you spoke, placing a hand upon your hips. "You're welcome to leave at anytime."
"Well, for the record, Super Sister. I'm not hiding with you." Shane gestured towards Optimus, "I'm hiding out with that big guy."
Tessa and Cade followed Shane's lead, as the three of them approached your side. All looking at the Autobots and they chatted among themselves.
"Sensei, with your fate unknown Bumblebee has held command." Drift's optics gazed at the yellow scout.
Bee fist bumped the air, while Drift rolled his optics. "Despite his complete and total lack of anything resembling warrior discipline."
An annoyed whirl weeze out of Bumblebee, as his optics narrowed on his comrade.
"He's like a child-"
"This 'child' is about to kick your ass!" Bee's radio buzzed. Landing the first hit against Drift's helm.
"Cage fight." Hound whispered to you, slightly leaning against the petrol stations' roof.
"What's the matter with them?" Tessa lowly asked, reaching out for your hand.
"They're on edge." You briefly explained, allowing her hand to slip into yours. "Who could blame them? They're being hunted."
"Am I the only one who sees through this puppy-dog act of yours?" Drift taunted Bee, while holding him in a headlock. "It's beneath you."
"Yes, I've been waiting for them all to dispatch each other." Crosshairs cheered. His servos gently clapping, "so I could take charge with no trouble at all. Just me. Reporting to me."
"Well, it sure looks like you've been missed." You said to Optimus.
"Autobots, humans are hunting us down. We need to know why."
"Listen..." Cade spoke, stepping towards Optimus. "I don't know why, but I might have an idea about who..."
---
"This drone I stole recorded footage of an Autobot raid." Cade explained.
You placed an affectionate hand upon Optimus' knee, as he sat cross-legged upon the floor. His servo clenching into a fist, as the dragonfly-like drone projected the video footage.
"It's in pieces, but watch what happens here." Cade pointed out, "they ripping them apart."
"That's Leadfoot." Hound spoke, as he placed a part of his helm over his spark. Feeling the saddened energy sink within his chest plates. "Savages."
"And later, this truck comes to haul him off to K.S.I. Kinetic Solutions." Cade continued. "They're creating defenses, aerospace, government contracts. They designed this drone."
"So these government guys are hunting you down, and then passing you of to this K.S.I?" Shane questioned.
"Do you know anything else?" Optimus asked.
"Only that their company headquarters is in Chicago." Cade spoke.
Perhaps... There's a chance of the Autobots being taken there. You thought.
"No way to get inside without a battle." Hound thought out loud.
"What if you had some human help?" everyone looked at you.
"Sweetie, no." Cade protested. "Besides, what are you two partners now?"
"Dad, we're targets now too." You spoke, feeling his worried stare on you. "We need to know why, or we'll never get our lives back."
"Y/N. You have done more than any of us could've asked for." Optimus kindly spoke. "I do not-"
"I'm coming." You gently argued. Seeing Tessa's encouraging smile from the corner of your eye.
"It's going to be dangerous." Drift warned, as he lend towards you.
The blue Autobot stiffed as you placed a comforting hand upon his knee. Giving him a warm smile, "you're important Optimus. Therefore, you're important to me.
A suttle warmth radiated from underneath Drift's metal plates.
"Autobots." Optimus spoke, as he raised onto his feet. "I have sworn to never kill humans."
"Big mistake." Hound mumbled
"But when I find out who's behind this. He's going to die..."
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@ursamajor17
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499 notes · View notes
n0cturna1-m3 · 1 year
Text
Sometimes We Say Things We Don't Mean | Simon "Ghost" Riley x Male Reader | Angst with Comfort
Minors/Fem DNI
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Warnings; Alcohol consumption, verbal fighting, decent apologies, hangover, hurt/comfort, this is kinda shite, randomly named character that doesn't matter but they needed a name so 🤷🏻
Request; "reader gets super fucking drunk cuz them and ghost had an argument earlier and they dont know what to do and ghost finds them about to pass out and goes wa wa wa and then they wake up and they hug because ghost thought he was gonna lose them"
A/N; I'm sorry this took so long but for the better part of a month i was like "wtf am i supposed to write for the fight" and then went "ohhh, i can search why couples fight". so work it is!
2.0k words
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Y/N leaned against Ghost as he cooked dinner, a comfortable silence between them. He had come home from a long mission, not more than a week ago, and Y/N had missed him the entire time. Now that he was home, they could have gentle moments like this. Ghost could enjoy simplicity in domestic life for a change.
“I like it when you’re home,” Y/N murmured, watching Ghost cook from behind him. His arms were wrapped around his torso as he worked on a soup. “You should stay home more often.”
Ghost’s stirring faltered and he stiffened under Y/N’s embrace.
“I…” He started, grabbing a bowl of mixed spices from beside the stove, “Price informed me about something going on in Eastern Europe… They leave on Tuesday.”
Y/N moved to rest his chin on Ghost’s shoulder, side-eyeing him. “What do you mean by that?”
He didn’t respond, simply swallowing down the uncomfortable feeling in his throat when Y/N pulled away from him to lean on the counter and face him.
“No, don’t ignore me,” Y/N demanded, staring at Ghost, who avoided eye contact at all costs.
“He asked me to go with him and the Task Force to-”
“No,” Y/N cut him off, crossing his arms over his chest.
“What do you mean ‘no’?”
“I mean ‘no’, you aren’t going.”
“What makes you think you have the right to tell me what I can and can’t do?”
“I don’t, it’s just,” Y/N stared at his socks as he grew aggravated. “You’ve been home for 5 days. You would leave in, what day is it… Sunday? In one day?” He asked, glancing at Ghost. He had turned off the burner and pushed the pot onto the back burner to settle, turning to face Y/N.
“Yeah,” He responded curtly.
“You think that’s okay? Just, being gone all the time?”
“It’s my job.”
“Well, yeah, I get that, but you can turn this one down. You can spend some more time with me. Price didn’t give you an order or anything, right?”
“That’s not how that works and you know it.”
“I know…” He sounded dejected, embarrassed even. “I just… I miss having you here…”
“I know, but I have to do this.”
“Why?!” Y/N shouted, startling Ghost, who jumped at the sudden noise. It wasn’t often that Y/N would yell. He was rather soft-spoken and understanding, so it was almost scary to see him so upset. “Why can’t you be here?! Just for a few more days, that’s all I want!”
“I-” Ghost choked, eyes scanning Y/N’s face.
“I’m sick of it! I hate you leaving me for weeks on end, months, even, and once you come home it’s- it’s all you talk about! Work! I hate it!” Tears beaded in his eyes as he screamed. “I just- I want you, Simon!”
Ghost stared at him speechless. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to articulate a sentence, for the right words to say that would soothe the ache in Y/N’s heart. Nothing could come to mind.
“You said it was okay when we started dating,” He said, eyes dark. Y/N scowled, hot tears falling from his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“This wasn’t what I signed up for. Being neglected.”
“Neglected? Are you kidding?”
Y/N huffed. “It’s not my fault that I feel like y- you love your job more than me.”
“No, it’s not your fault. It’s mine. It always is, isn’t it?”
“S- Stop it! That’s not wuh- what I meant-”
“No, but it’s what you thought. Listen, I like what I do. You can suck it up and deal with it.”
“I- I know you do, I just-”
“Stop stuttering, for fucks sake!”
Y/N choked out a sob and felt his knees wobble. He puffed out his bottom lip slightly and stared at Ghost with a hurt look. When Y/N was anxious, he would stutter. Ghost knew that he was insecure about that.
“I-” He paused so that he could sound out every word without stumbling over them. “I hate you.”
Ghost twitched, hands flexing around nothing.
“Then leave,” He said without thinking. Y/N whimpered and shoved past Ghost before he could process the words that spilt past his lips.
By the time he did figure out what he said, the front door had slammed shut and Y/N’s coat was gone, his house key still on the hook. He took a shaky breath and walked to their shared bedroom to lie down and cool his head. Maybe a walk would help Y/N regain his thoughts.
“And then- he- he made fun of me,” Y/N sobbed, choking on tears while he drank a beer. “Then he told me to leave.”
“Oh, my god…” The bartender murmured. She was one of Y/N’s close friends, and he always took the bus to get to her bar when he was upset. “What a cunt!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’re dating that bastard!”
“Ally, gimme a scotch,” He said before finishing his beer. “And another beer.”
That went on for some time. Drinking and sobbing and ranting, Ally listened to every word with a comforting presence.
“Do you think…” Ally turned her head from where she was fixing someone a pint of Guinness, “that it’s my fault?” Ally turned back to the glass, placing it down so it could settle, before walking over to Y/N again.
“Maybe a little,” She said, reaching out to wipe his cheeks with a towel that was in her apron. His face was burning hot, and his eyes were puffy and bloodshot. Y/N cried harder at her words, and she continued to wipe them off his face. “But you came from a good place. You should talk to him with a level head.”
Y/N looked at her with snot running down his nose. “He hates me.”
“No, I’m sure he doesn’t hate you, darling.” She walked back to the Guinness to fill it the rest of the way before handing it to an older gentleman who took it with a smile. Y/N watched her as he felt the beginning of a migraine seep through the back of his skull, creeping into his brow bone and making the back of his eyes ache. Beer doesn’t substitute water well, especially when you’re expelling all of it through your face for hours on end. His eyes drooped and his head felt heavy, so he went limp and let his forehead smack against the bar.
“BloodyJesus!” Ally jumped, glaring at Y/N. Her gaze softened at his pitiful figure: an odd bloke, drunk off his arse, sobbing in the furthest corner of the bar. It was a miracle he hadn’t thrown up yet. “Christ, don’t you dare blackout in my bar, Y/N.”
Ally’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and she fished it out to check the caller ID. ‘Simon’. She huffed and picked up, pressing it to her ear and being met with a very frantic Ghost.
“Have- Have you seen Y/N? We had a fight, he left and I- He hasn’t come home yet. I’m worried,” He said. He sounded close to tears if they weren’t already falling. A thick frog in his throat was making him choke on his words.
Ally sighed and looked at Y/N, who had managed to lift his head and reach for his unfinished beer. She smacked his hand away and grabbed the glass. “I’ve got ‘im.”
“Fuck, thank god. I’ll be there in 10 minutes.”
“What? It’s a 20-minute drive, how the hell are you… He’s hung up on me,” Ally groaned, pocketing her phone and dumping the beer in the sink. Y/N whined at the sight but didn’t audibly complain. Not in English at least.
“Gimme another,” He slurred, leaning on one of his arms. Ally shook her head and tended to another customer, fixing him a glass of whiskey and setting it in front of them.
She glanced at the front door when it burst open not 10 minutes later, slightly peeved at the sudden loud intrusion, and more so at the fact that it wasn’t a regular. Her eyes softened, however, as she saw that it was Simon. He was frantically scanning the room, noticing Ally and rushing over to her before seeing Y/N, utterly ossified and nearly asleep.
“You get this drunk out of my pub,” She said. He nodded and wordlessly helped Y/N up, wrapping an arm around him before deciding that he would fare better at bringing him home by lifting him up. Ally watched as Ghost lifted Y/N up onto his back with ease, piggybacking him.
“Thank you,” He said quietly. Ally shook her hand and shooed him, desperate to get this show out of her pub and back onto the streets where it belonged. As the door closed behind Ghost, one of the men sat at the bar looked at Ally with a confused face.
“What the feck was that holy show?” He asked, leaning forward as if it were a secret.
“Two very sad man-children.”
Y/N woke up in bed with a hangover feeling entirely shattered. He groaned and shrank back under the blankets, burying his face in his pillow to avoid the blinding morning sun.
“Oh my god…” He whimpered, rubbing his eyebrows with his fingers and groaning again. He heard the bedroom door open, but couldn’t will himself to look over to see who it was.
“Good morning,” Ghost said, walking beside the bed and setting a cold glass of water on the nightstand with 3 Dexibuprofen and a Lucozade Sport. “For your hangover.”
Y/N poked his head out of his little cocoon to look at Ghost, who was now crouched down to be eye level with him, his eyes welling up with tears at the stupid, sorry look on his face. Y/N reached out his hand and cupped his face, rubbing his stubbly cheek with his thumb. Simon leaned into his touch, eyes glossy as he looked at Y/N.
“ ‘M sorry…” Y/N whispered. His head was throbbing, but Simon was here in front of him and that was good enough for him. “I don’t hate you…”
“I know,” He responded, cupping Y/N’s hand and moving it to press a kiss to his palm. “You worried me.”
He blinked away his tears and leaned in to kiss Y/N softly, who welcomed it tenderly, holding the back of Simon’s neck. He pulled back and rested their foreheads against each other, gazing into each other's eyes carefully.
“Could you,” Simon whispered, “say that you love me?” His voice cracked at the end, his face reddening slightly with embarrassment as a tear rolled down his cheek.
“I love you, Simon,” Y/N said, leaning in to kiss him again. “I love you.”
“Take your pain killers,” He said, pulling away from Y/N so he could sit up enough to drink the pills down.
A wave of relief washed over his face when he swallowed a mouthful of cold water. It felt as though it went straight to his migraine, cooling his brain that was aching. His eyes finally felt like they weren't going to pop out of their sockets.
Simon watched as Y/N began to relax. He drank so quickly that water dripped down his chin and onto his chest. Simon smiled at Y/N with a certain fondness that was reserved just for him. A smile that only he had seen, or one that maybe Soap or Price would see a glimpse of when thinking of him.
Y/N finished the glass and set it on the side table, wiping his chin with the back of his hand and looking at Simon.
“Will you lay with me?” He asked. He looked tired again, and Simon felt tired, too.
“Yeah,” He said, crawling into bed with Y/N and laying with his head on his chest. “I love you.”
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sunshine-theseus · 5 months
Text
I’ve Got You | Charlie Grant x reader
Word Count: 2.4k Summary: Having someone like Charlie by your side makes pregnancy a whole lot easier. i don't think this is my best i'm sorry Warnings: none? Request for - @charligrantismygirlfriend
Being friends with Katrina basically guaranteed being friends with Kyra and Charlie.
I met Kat in 2022, toward the end of her time at Brisbane, as she was beginning to get back in with the Matildas. I found myself crying in the baby aisle of a rather desolate IGA in Clayfield when she crouched next to me and asked me if I was alright. I didn’t look up as I struggled to calm my sobbing to explain my situation.
“He- he left me. I’m 21 and pregnant without a partner. How am I supposed to have a baby without a partner?” I stared up at her with red-rimmed eyes and tears that stream down my cheeks. It’s then that I notice she has a young baby resting on her hip, eyes gently closed as her head rests on the shoulder of this woman.
“Do… do you have anyone that will help?” I vigorously shook my head, then told her how I’d been living alone for 4 years, my parents running off to whatever dingy town they decided would bring them the most drugs without police caring.
“A- and he kicked me out. Oh fuck I don’t have anywhere to live what the fuck am I doing?!” my eyes frantically flickered around the store as my situation settled in. There was no way I could survive this.
“I know this is a weird offer but… you could live with me? I have a spare bedroom and rent is getting kind of wild. And Harper would love you.” She looked down at the girl who clung to her with such adoration.
“I’m Katrina.” She reached out her hand and I took it.
“Y/n” I smiled gently at her.
“I mean it. You living with me. I had Harper 8 months ago and I have bunch of pregnancy books and clothes and all that stuff.”
“W- what about your partner? Won’t he mind?”
“She lives in Sweden, so probably not.” Katrina then told me her story of wanting to be a mum and going through IVF, and how Harper brought her back to football.
~~~~~
About 2 months later, I was flying over to Sweden, following shortly after Kat and Harper left. I attended pretty much every game Kat played, taking care of Harper when her mum couldn’t make it, and researching a lot.
I was lucky my job was remote, so I was able to move around with Kat without an issue. My boss had sent a small gift basket of baby books and clothes when I told her I would be living overseas for 6 or so months. She also gave me less work, insisting that I meet people and do fun things instead of worrying about how much I had to do. She was probably the person who pushed me the most to meet someone new.
It was 2 weeks after I moved in with Kat, and met Clara, that I met Charlotte and Kyra. Despite Kyra’s club being 5 – 6 hours away, she’d somehow managed to make it down for a few days on a short break between matches. We all went for coffee and brunch, me limiting my food to hashbrowns and toast because most other things made me nauseas.
Charlie and Kyra asked how Kat and I met and why I was living with them. I gave them a rather short version of the day in the IGA, and Charlie reached over and put an empathetic hand on my shoulder. I give a tight-lipped smile in return.
It doesn’t take long for me to grow close to the two younger players Kat had also taken under her wing. Some days they had off, I’d take Harper off Kat and Clara’s hands and take her somewhere with Charlie, like the park or a pool. Other days we’d all go together and when Kyra could, she’d come down and spend a couple days.
It’s nice to have friends my age to hang out and talk with, Katrina having been the only person I had for the most part of 3 or so months.
Both girls insisted I need to meet the other Matildas, but I struggled to find time when they have camp, or I’m too nauseas to travel.
This creates a new problem when Kat and Clara both decide to head back to Brisbane in mid-November now that the Swedish season is done, so Kat can play with the Roar again during the A-League season.
My bump is relatively big, and most forms of travel make me sick, so I know I won’t really be able to travel with them back home, and in a few more weeks I won’t be allowed to fly. So I’m stuck by myself again. Until Charlie makes a rather compelling offer.
They don’t have any matches in the up-coming international break, so she offers me to live with her for the time being so I’m not as alone. The one fault to present itself, is she only has 1 bed. I insist I sleep on the couch, but she waves the idea away as I hold my stomach, trying to relieve some pressure.
“Oh! Can I try something? It might help give you some relief for a moment. I saw it on TikTok.” I simply nod my head; I’ll try anything at this point.
I’m slightly shocked when she circled around behind me and reached around my front, but I can’t question anything before she placed her hands beneath my belly and lifts. I groan in relief and my hand rolls back onto her shoulder.
“Holy shit that feels so nice.” She holds my belly for a minute or so before gently removing her hands and pressing a kiss to my cheek.
I flush red as she goes back to making lunch. I’ve found myself doing that a lot around her recently. Any nice gesture or any touch and I’m blushing and butterflies flutter around my stomach. Sometimes I wonder if the same thing happens to her.
Later in the day, I'm desperate to take a nap, so I slowly lay down on Charlie’s couch. It takes her all of 5 seconds to realise and start pulling me up, dragging me to her bedroom.
“If you’re so adamant that I don’t sleep on the couch, and you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping on the couch, we can share the bed. It’s big enough for us both.” I don’t have the energy to refuse as I fall back against the pillows, eyes fluttering shut as Charlie plays with my hair.
~~~~~
I spend the next 2 months spending time with Charlie and Kyra, who also decided not to travel home until their Cup of Nations games in February. Kyra stays on a blow-up mattress she lugged with her from Stockholm while Charlie and I continue to share the bed.
I’m a week away from my due date when I feel something wet drip down my legs. Kyra and Charlie freak out, but I let them know my contractions haven’t started. And I nearly think that maybe it was somehow a false alarm.
Nearly a day later, I feel severe pressure on my pelvis. I groan in pain and clutch my stomach as I move positions, assuming it’s just a Braxton Hicks contraction. The pain doesn’t subside for a minute or so, and Kyra doesn’t take notice of my groans from the other room, on a call with Charlie who had forgotten the grocery list and now had to have Kyra recite it to her so she could rewrite it on her phone.
I don’t think much of the contraction until I feel another one 20 minutes later, and another 20 minutes after that. They progressively get closer together and I call out to Kyra to help me up from the bed before calling for an ambulance, and I frantically scroll my contacts for Charlie’s number. It takes 10 minutes for her keys to rattle against the door and she rushes in, followed closely by the paramedics.
~~~~~
I suffer through 13 hours of labour before I’m holding a small bundle in my arms, Charlie holding another, as Kyra takes photos to send Kat later.
“I can’t believe that fucking piece of shit left you, but at least he gave you two little cuties.” Charlie passes the baby off to Kyra and turns to me.
“I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without you, Kat and Kyra.”
“I’m so proud of you.” I don’t stop to think before I lean over and gently place my lips on hers, her strawberry chapstick is all I can taste.
I see a flash go off in the corner of my eye and whip my head to look at Kyra, who giggles sheepishly before looking back down at the baby in her arms.
“I know this is probably rushed and wild, but do you want to move in with me? Officially? We can find a bigger place to house the girls. But I’ve been holding in my feelings for you for like 6 months now. I promise to take care and love you and the twins with my whole heart.” A tear falls down my cheek as I nod my head, and she kisses me again.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“Oh! Mini’s calling! She doesn’t know! What do I do? Do I answer?” Kyra interrupts us, frantically looking for whether she should answer or not.
“Facetime her.” Kyra hands the baby back to Charlie and quickly facetimes Katrina, who doesn’t take a moment to answer.
“None of you have answered any of my calls for the past 14 hours what the fuck is going on? Why does it look like you’re in a hospital” is the first thing she says as Kyra’s phone faces away from me.
“Well… we have a surprise.” The phone slowly pans over to Charlie and I and we both grin.
“WHAT THE FUCK? You had the baby?!”
“Babies” Charlie corrects her.
“Twins?!”
“Kat, I’d like you to meet Ashley Jade and Maysilee Hazel Gorry.” Everyone’s heads snap to look at me as I smile.
“What, what do you mean ‘Gorry’?”
“You literally changed my life, took me in when I had no one, introduced me to my best friend… and girlfriend,” I pause and give Charlie a look, she smiles in return.
“I also changed my name like a month ago, to Y/n Gorry. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Of course I don’t mind what the fuck!?” I glance back at Katrina; tears prick at her eyes and my own mirror her’s.
“I’m going to fucking fly over and meet those little cuties.”
“Well, I was thinking… if they’re healthy enough to travel, we’d fly over with Kyra and Charlie for your Cup of Nations matches in February? And I’d meet the team.” Another wave of shock ripples through out the room
“Fuck yes!”
We talk to Kat for a while after that. Harper tumbles into screen and coos at the babies but soon looses interest, and Clara comes in to congratulate me. We eventually have to say goodbye.
“Is it ok if I head back to the apartment? I think if I fall asleep on these chairs, I’ll never be able to play again.” Kyra dramatically complains, but I just smile and nod, sending her on her way.
“I know I already said it, but I am so proud of you and I love you so much. You could’ve given up on these babies, but you pushed through.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you Char, these little guys are going to adore their mumma so much.”
“Of course they will, you’re so amazing.”
“I mean you…”
“R-really?”
“I wouldn’t want anyone else by my side.” She kisses me passionately, well as passionately as you can kiss someone who’s lying in a hospital bed while you’re both holding a baby.
~~~~~
“Are you excited to see your aunties?” Ashley and Maysilee’s giggles fill the car ass Charlie tickles their feet.
“Yay yay yay!” they both chant as we help them out of the car and onto their feet.
They’re running down the corridor as soon as the elevator doors part open, giggling and screaming without knowing where they’re supposed to be going. They only stop when they run into two pairs of legs, and they sheepishly look up as they go to apologise, only to be picked up.
“Aunty MinMin! Aunty Anna!” Maysilee screams as Alanna gives her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, Ashley much quieter as she returns Kat’s hug.
“We’ll look after them while you settle in. I missed my favourite twins.” Kat says as she also gives Maysilee a gentle kiss on the forehead.
Charlie and I take each other’s hand as we walk to our room, kissing our daughters goodbye and thanking the pair of teammates. When we reach the room, I waste no time in fall on the bed, Charlie following swiftly behind. I lean into her as she wraps her arms around me before I kiss her.
We spend another hour or so cuddling and kissing, basking in the childless quiet. I admire Charlie like I do every moment we get together, her crystal blue eyes, the shape of her nose, her dull pink lips, the small scar above her right eyebrow. And I wonder the same thing I always do; how did I get so lucky.
“I can’t believe we brought our kids to the Olympics. Who does that? We should have left them with someone back in London.” I joke before kissing her.
“I’d take my babies anywhere; I hate being apart from you all.” Charlie pouts and kisses me again, and again.
~~~~~
Charlie brings Ashley, Maysilee and I to all the events and training sessions Tony allows her to, the girls always with one of their Mumma’s jerseys on or something that showcases a blatant support for the Matildas.
After a particularly difficult game, the team silently heads back to their rooms, Charlie curling up under the blanket as I get the twins ready for bed. When they notice she hasn’t come to kiss them goodnight, they clamber up onto the bed and start to tickle and poke her. She doesn’t respond and they seem to understand she’s upset.
“What’s wrong mumma?”
“Mumma’s just sad and hurt about today babies.” Charlie whispers through shaky breath.
I watch as they calm down and instead wrap their arms around her and kiss her gently, like she kisses them when they’re hurt. I slowly slide in behind Ashley, wrapping my arm around all 3 of them.
“We’ve got you baby.” I give them all a kiss and we fall asleep like that, the sun slowly allowing the blanket of stars to fill the sky.
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steddieasitgoes · 5 months
Text
@steddiemas Day 2 Prompt: Winter Sentence Starters
3. Did you know icicles make the perfect murder weapon?
Pairing: Pre-Steddie | wc: 1664 | Rating: T
Read on ao3 | ao3 collection
“Steve?” Eddie asks, squinting into the blinding lights of the familiar burgundy Beamer that’s parked in front of the mound of snow where the driveway usually is. It’s hard to see with the blinding lights and the sunrise bouncing off the bright snow, but Eddie’s pretty sure it’s Steve. He’s the only one who drives a Beamer around these parts of town, that’s for sure.
Sitting up on the outdoor couch, he adjusts the bundle of blankets around his shoulder. His hand fumbles in between the couch cushions until he finds the half-empty box of cigarettes and the lighter he and Wayne keep stashed there “in case of emergencies.” It’s a bit of a chore given the gloves covering his hands, but he gets the job done and brings the lit smoke to his winter-chapped lips. After a slow exhale, he tries again.
“Steve? What the hell are you doing here?”
There’s a clattering on the other side of the Beamer, followed by a string of curses before a figure emerges in the shadows of the lights. “Jesus dude,” Steve gasps. One hand stays pressed against his chest, the other clings to a snow shovel. “What the hell are you doing here? You should be inside it’s freezing out.”
It is freezing out, but there’s not that big of a difference between out here and inside Eddie’s bedroom. Not since the space heater took a shit at 2 am. He tried to fix it, he did. But it’s actually really damn hard to fix a space heater at 2 am when you’ve only slept for an hour because of chronic pain and nightmares and you can’t find the damn toolbox that’s supposed to be tucked away in the closet.
Frustrated beyond belief, Eddie needed a smoke and one thing led to another, and the next thing he knew he was being woken up by the rumbling of Steve’s Beamer. At least he was smart enough to put on gloves and wrap himself in his duvet before coming out here.
“Seriously, man. You’re going to freeze to death.”
“You know the dramatics are my thing,” Eddie teases, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself. “I’ve got a blanket and gloves.” Eddie wiggles his fingers for extra emphasis. “And this head of hair isn’t just for looks. Actually keeps me pretty warm too.”
Steve snorts, absentmindedly tugging on the end of his scarf. “Yeah, okay, man. Whatever you say.”
“So, I ask again,” Eddie says, pausing to exhale another puff of smoke. “What are you doing here at whatever time it is.”
“It’s 5,” Steve supplies, then holds up the snow shovel. “Who do you think shovels the snow around here since you’re out of commission? The snow fairy?”
The smoke in Eddie’s lungs gets trapped as his body tries to laugh and instead, he sends himself into a coughing fit that has him clutching his already aching sides. “First of all fuck you. Don’t joke about fairies!” he says, all bark no bite. “Secondly, I usually shovel the snow, but as you are aware, I’m still not allowed to lift more than two pounds thanks to our wonderful Spring Break adventures.”
“And you’re milking that for all it’s worth.”
Eddie’s quick to flip him the bird, rolling his eyes in the process. “S’Wayne paying you? That old bastard better not be paying you. I never got a dime when he made me shovel.”
“Probably because you always forgot, right?”
“You know what, Steve,” Eddie starts, trying to get up from the couch when a rush of pain races up his torso. Jesus H. Christ, he should be used to this by now. Biting his lip to keep the groan in, he settles himself back on the couch.
“M’just messing with you, Eds,” Steve says, shooting him an apologetic look. If anyone knows the pain he’s going through, it’s Steve. And yet, Steve’s wounds healed in record time, and Eddie’s on month nine of barely being able to make it down the three steps of his trailer. Yet another unfairness the universe has drawn for him.
“I was over helping the Mayfields during the last big storm and saw your uncle struggling to park after his shift. Figured if I’m here helping Max, I could help you guys out too. No big deal.”
Eddie’s not sure what universe Steve lives in, but agreeing to do manual labor for free is a big deal. A massive, big deal, actually. At least, in his universe it is. He doesn’t sign up for any sort of manual labor unless he’s getting paid. Fuck capitalism and all that, but also, you know, it’s only fair to cash in when it benefits him.
“Right, well, m’sure my uncle appreciates it.”
“He does,” Steve nods, resting the shovel on his shoulder. “So, you gonna quit distracting me now so I can get to work?”
Eddie extends one glove-covered hand out in front of him, fanning it out over the mountain of white snow separating them. “The snow is yours, my liege.”
Steve snorts, shaking his head. He takes a few steps away from the Beamer before repositioning the shovel in his hands. In one fluid motion, he drives the shovel the mix of  fresh and packed snow. The metal clatter against the frozen chunks at the bottom but the sound doesn’t drown out the groan that leaves Steve's lips as he hoists a giant pile of snow up and over to the side.
Jesus H. Christ.
Eddie takes an extra long drag from his cigarette, eyes glued to Steve as he does the same thing again. He holds the smoke in his lungs, tries to concentrate on not choking as he watches Steve shovel another massive pile of snow away.
There’s at least twenty feet of distance between them, but Eddie’s eyes are glued to Steve. His pale blue puffy jacket does a lot to obscure his muscles, but Eddie’s always had an overactive imagination. He doesn’t need a clear visual to know that Steve’s biceps are straining every time he hoists the shovel out of the snow. Or the way his back muscles flex, showing off that swimmer's upper body of his.
Steve’s ditched snow pants like most do around here and instead has his trusty pair of blue jeans on. Eddie knows from experience that denim does little to shield the freezing temperatures, but he can’t complain. Not when Steve’s ass is on full display when he squats to investigate what the shovel has just slammed into. (A stray dog toy from two trailers over.)
If he doesn’t look away soon, he’s going to be in trouble. Even the cold as fuck temperature can’t keep the blood from rushing to his dick for long. A blessing and a curse, Eddie supposes.
Taking another drag, Eddie tilts his head so it rests against the headrest of the couch. Exhaling, the plume of smoke and cold air mix, getting whisked away in the early morning breeze. It might actually be colder now than it was at 2 am.
With his head still turned upward, he can hear the rhythmic sounds of Steve shoveling the snow. The clink of the metal shovel with the snow, the scrape as he digs it down to the pavement. The occasional huff of frustration when Steve’s bitten off more than he can chew. Stubborn as always.
If he keeps making noises like that though, Eddie’s going to need a lot more than a smoke and a new direction for his eyes to keep his mind out of the gutter—
Speaking of gutters, they really need to get someone to clear out all the damn icicles clinging to them like damn Christmas trees. One harsh slam of the door and he or Wayne is going to take an icicle straight to the head. A month in a coma, seven months of physical therapy, and one dropped murder charge is not going to go to waste over a goddamn icicle. Not if he can help it at least.
Honestly, out of all of that, he’s still most upset about the murder thing. He won’t even go fishing with Wayne after that one year with the fish who flopped around practically hasping for breath until Wayne stabbed it with his pocket knife. Never again. Eddie prefers his food already cooked and void of eyes thank you very much.
Besides killing someone in his house is way too obvious. An amateur move if he’s ever seen one. He’d at least been more smart about it. If he was going to kill someone, but he’s not. Obviously. But if he was, Eddie’s thoughts trail off as the sun catches on the translucent icicle, washing his body in the warm rays of sunlight.
“You know, icicles would make the perfect murder weapon.”
The sound of the snow shovel clattering to the floor startles him. His head whips in the direction of the noises. It takes a moment a moment for his eyes to adjust to the sudden change in light, but when they do Steve is staring at him, hands on his hips and a frown tugging at his pale lips.
“Maybe don’t joke about murder when we’ve just cleared your name,” Steve scolds, shaking his head. “Or do you want to go back into hiding?”
Eddie’s mouth is faster than his brain, words tumbling out before he has a chance to realize the implications of his words.
“Depends. Would you be hiding me again?”
A sickening silence falls between them as all the blood in Eddie’s body rushes to his cheeks. At least his nose isn’t cold anymore. He’s two seconds away from scampering into the trailer, head slung low in embarrassment when Steve’s unabashed chuckle breaks the silence.
“You can crash at my place anytime, you know.”
No, Eddie did not know that. But now? Now, he thinks that damn space heater isn’t worth bothering Wayne for after all.
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loveswrites · 11 months
Text
Is love enough? Poly Joe x Love x reader
Poly! Joe Goldberg x reader x Love Quinn
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Time it took me: 5 hours spread out a few days
Word count: 1058
I asked you guys on a poll if you guys would like a poly xreader with Joe and love and you guys definitely did! So Let me know how you guys like it! The closer I got to the end I was thinking about making this one into a mini series! As I could do a lot more with this one! Tell me if you'd like a part two!
When you finish reading tell me. Do you think love is enough?
Love <3
"Depression makes you do crazy shit Joe!"
"That doesn't make sense, Love! just accept the fact that you killed her for no reason but the fact that you can't control yourself!" Joe yelled at love with wide eyes. 
"I can't control myself? I can't control myself?! You were the one obsessing over yet another woman! What did you expect me to do?! We have a family!" Love yelled back at Joe with tears in her eyes. But they weren't tears of sadness.
"Babes? What's with all the yelling what's going-... on.." You questioned coming down the stairs but paused seeing exactly what the yelling was all about.
"What happened?.." You whispered. On the ground all you saw was blood and the body of some blonde. 
"What are you doing here!?" Love and Joe yelled in unison.
"You told me to come pick up Henry so you could finish on some things- What happened!" You yelled, snapping out of your explanation of your presence.
"I- I she fell-" Love attempted to say but you quickly cut her off.
"Into an Ax!?" You yelled.
"It was an accident!" Love tried defending herself.
"What the fuck! What the actual fuck? I- Where is Henry?!" You yelled out looking around the dark basement for the child you came to pick up.
"He's over there he is fine!" Love gestured to Henry who was literally a baby in a corner.
You watched as Joe paced the floors as you could only assume he was thinking about what to do about this.. situation that lies in front of you three.. and a half. 
You Joe and Love were in a relationship together. It was a loving happy relationship you felt secure in some aspects of it. Besides that fact that you never knew if the police would show up at your front door and arrest you was all. It was one of the things that made the loving happy relationship feel a little less secure. Also with love's impulsive behavior and Joe's constant need to have a new fixation every other month put a damper on the relationship at times. But none of that stopped you from loving them both. And them loving you. 
"You said no more. No more killing. No more death. A fresh start and a New beginning. And Joe you no more.. obsession plus the killing also." You whispered shifting your eyes between you two lovers. 
"How can neither of you keep your promise?" 
"I haven't killed anybody!" Joe yelled.
"But you stalk! And you creep! And you lie and cheat on both me and Love! Why?! Why are we not enough for you? I keep your secrets, I'm there when you're scared! When you're scared that you might do another bad thing! And you Love I'm there for you every sleepless night when Joe is gone! We were all supposed to be happy here! But since we're all killing and lying, I'm going to tell the truth I hate it here! I hate the suburbs I'm a fucking city girl I don't belong here yet I am trying to adapt for you for you both because I love you! You both ripped me apart from a city that I loved so much to lie in a house with two people that I thought loved me more than I loved that city just to feel like some neglected piece of trash! I hope to God Henry never feels like this- Oh wait he probably already does since he's facing a corner chilling in a room with a dead body!" You screamed with so much pent up aggression you snatched up the baby carrier that held Henry.
"Pleas-" Joe started but you cut him off without turning to face them.
"Don't call me, don't text me. Fix your mess then maybe me and Henry will come back." You said causing panic to rush through both of their veins.
"Maybe?!" Love yelled her eyes widening. 
"What do you mean maybe?! I love you, there is nothing that I wouldn't do to make you stay!" Joe yelled.
"Shut up." You said, shaking your head as you walked up the stairs leaving the bakery. 
When you've been in a relationship with basically two insane people you learn when their threats mean you harm or not. In that case Joe threatened you out of fear. Not anger. He was never angry at you much. He got mad at Love more than he would you. Him and Love fought more than you, him and love ever did combined. Which you couldn’t lie was understandable because seeing that their habits could land us all in jail. You’ve never killed anybody but that still doesn’t make you a good person. 
You’ve lied for them. Threaten people for them. Even though Joe and Love do their best to keep their dirty habits away from home, it’s inevitable that one of those habits will come knocking on your front door. You’ve helped with the..bodies. So no matter how sick it makes you or how bad you feel about it you are and will forever be an accomplice to their crimes for no other reason than the fact love makes you do crazy things. 
When you got to your car you went to buckle Henry into his car seat. He was crying. You almost missed that.. How could you miss a screaming baby? As you tried to zone yourself out of your deep thoughts about your two loves you tried calming the only love that mattered right now. You found it hard to do this as tears rolled down your own face. Who was going to calm you down with their love? As you shhh henry to calm down rocking him in your arms on the side corner of the bakery you started to think what if this was all?
What if this was it? 
What if all your life now consisted of was lying, hiding, running, crying, screaming, fighting, shovels, dirt and muddy midnights. But at least you had your two lovers by your side, That’s all that matters right? Could the love between three people be enough to grow into a happy family?
Getting into the driver's seat you started the car. And as you drove away from the bakery you couldn’t help but think, is love enough?
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lanadelnegan · 7 months
Text
My Past, My Future - Part 5 (Final part)
Negan x Reader x Daryl
part four here / part one here
Warnings: 18+, smut, angst
Note: I'm sorry this took so long for me to post. Been kinda out of it lately, but probably gonna start posting regularly again.
Red = Negan / Blue = Daryl / Pink - Reader
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"Negan..." Your jaw lowers slightly in disbelief as you look up into his tired eyes. Before your brain has time to stop you, you lunge forward, wrapping your arms around his neck and inhaling the familiar smell of him. "God I am so glad you're okay." A tear falls from your cheek as he nuzzles his face into the side of your neck and holds you tight.
Pulling back slightly after a moment too long, you clear your throat awkwardly and drop your hands to your sides. You quickly wipe the tear slipping down your cheek as Negan tilts his head at you empathetically. "Baby.."
"No..." You shake your head, remembering how Negan left you - alone and worried to death. "Negan, I - I don't understand. Why? Why did you leave?" You ramble, letting the hurt and anger wash over you all over again. "I looked for you for three weeks straight. I didn't eat.. didn't sleep.. just cried until I couldn't anymore."
"I saw you two.. kissing.. I thought -"
"You thought wrong, Negan. I wanted it to be you. I told Daryl that after the kiss. I came back to Alexandria that night to tell you, and you - you were gone. How could you do that to me? Just leave and not even look back like I never meant anything to you?"
"C'mon, You know that's not true... Was I supposed to just stay there and fuckin' watch you be with him?!"
Before you can respond, the front door swings open behind you and Daryl quickly appears at your side, wrapping his arm protectively around your waist.
Negan scoffs, glancing down at Daryl's hand gripping you possessively. "Seriously? You two are a thing now, huh? And you expect me to believe you were gonna fuckin' choose me?"
"Believe what you want. It's the truth. Not that it matters anymore. You left. You made your decision."
"Yeah." Negan nods. "I guess you did too."
"You dunno what the hell you're talkin' about. Got no right to talk to her like that when you just up and left." Daryl's jaw clenches as he glares at Negan.
"Seems like it worked out for you. I dunno why you're fuckin' complainin'."
"Cuz I'm not selfish. I wanted her to by happy."
"And I'm selfish? For leaving behind the love of my fucking life just so I wouldn't get in the way of her and another man!? If anyone's selfish it's you! Throwing a fit because the girl you were too scared to admit your feelings to wanted me and not you."
You grab Daryl's wrist, pulling him back as he lunges forward at Negan. "Enough! This is too much. I can't - I can't deal with this right now." You cry as both men reach out to comfort you.
Negan lets out a long sigh. "Look, it's getting dark. And I know you're tired. Let's call it a night and sort this out tomorrow."
Daryl hesitantly nods, accepting Negan's offer when you look to him for an answer and you both follow Negan into the house. It's old and wooden and Negan's smell fills the air. Your heart aches at the thought of Negan here by himself all this time... he is here by himself right?
"Do you.. live here alone?" You ask, looking around for any signs of other company.
"Nah. Girlfriend should be back any minute."
You roll your eyes at the teasing tone of his voice, trying to hide your smile when he winks at you.
"Hungry?" He points behind himself to the kitchen.
"No.. thanks. Just tired."
"You two can take the bedroom.. I'll sleep out here on the couch. Just let me clean up and change first." Negan says before heading to his bedroom. "Make yourselves at home." He calls out before shutting his door.
Six months ago you were confessing your love for each other and having sex on your couch. Now he's offering up his bed to you and another man? Daryl rests his hand on your lower back and you turn around to hug him, laying your head on his chest.
"Daryl.. I want you to know you have nothing to worry about. We'll leave in the morning."
"Not worried." He reassures you by planting a gentle kiss on your forehead. He knows he is, but the last thing he wants is to put more stress and pressure on you right now.
Negan enters the room again, announcing his presence with an awkward clearing of his throat. "Room's ready. Changed the sheets."
Daryl leads the way, bumping past Negan rudely as he disappears into the master bathroom. You walk past Negan, brushing your hand against his before he gently wraps his hand around your wrist and looks down at you. "The idea of you in my bed with another man fucking infuriates me. Everything I do.. everything I did.. was for your happiness. Not mine... Just so you know." His hazel eyes fall to your lips for a moment before he slowly looks back up into your eyes. You restrain yourself from kissing him, remembering the way his soft lips felt against yours as his stubble pricked at your face. You can't deny you miss kissing him. Having long deep conversations with him.. Fucking him. All your memories together flow through your mind as you stare up at him.
"Are you happy with him, y/n?" Negan's eyes dart back and forth between yours.
"...Yes."
"Good..." He nods before walking away and you watch him sink to the couch as you enter his bedroom. You find Daryl already laying in bed and immediately climb in the bed behind him to comfort him. You know this must be difficult for him. You nuzzle your face into the back of his neck. "Baby.. I told you not to worry."
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He doesn't say anything as you run your fingers comfortingly through his thick strands of hair. "I love you, Daryl."
"You love him too." He says matter-of-factly.
You don't respond, knowing you'd be lying if you tried to argue with him. So instead, you wrap your arm around him and settle into the sheets. The pillowcase smells like Negan as you shut your eyes and drift off quickly, dreaming of a world where you don't have to choose between the two men you'd die for.
As soon as Daryl hears your light snore, he slips out of bed, quietly finding his way into the living room where Negan is wide awake on the couch staring at the ceiling.
"We need to talk."
Negan's chest rises and falls as he lets out a long sigh. "Nothin' to say."
"Oh.. now you wanna stay quiet?"
"Now you wanna fuckin' talk?"
Daryl ignores Negan's comeback, sitting in a chair across from the couch. A long moment passes before Daryl finally speaks again.
"I know you love y/n. I know you've changed. But I'll never forget what you've done. When we came back to Alexandria and realized you were gone... I hoped you'd never come back."
Negan huffs, leaning back further into the couch before Daryl continues.
"Until I saw how much it broke her. She wouldn't eat. Wouldn't sleep. Unless I made her. Was so worried about her I couldn't let her outta my sight. You did that to her."
Negan gulps down, fighting back tears as he hears how much he hurt you.
"And for some stupid reason.. she still loves you."
Negan scoffs, shaking his head slightly before gazing back up at the ceiling. "...When Lucille passed, I knew I wouldn't be able to love anyone the way I loved her. Lucille was.. my everything. Hell, named a fuckin' baseball bat after her just so I wouldn't have to say goodbye... You know where that bat is now?"
Daryl grunts, waiting for Negan's answer. Negan's head nods towards the fireplace, as they watch the wood crack underneath the flames for awhile.
"I said goodbye to Lucille that day because I finally found someone I could be happy with again... When I made the decision to leave, that was for y/n. Not for me. I knew you'd be there to take my place, and I thought that's what she fuckin' wanted. But me? I didn't eat either. Didn't sleep. Worried about her every day. Still fuckin' do."
Daryl's head drops forward as his elbows rest on his knees, carefully taking in Negan's words.
"She misses you."
"Why are you tellin' me this?"
"Cause I want the same thing as you. Just want her to be happy."
"So what? You're.. giving her back to me?" Negan's head shakes sarcastically, mocking the idea.
"In your dreams.... What I'm sayin' is, we love her and she loves us. Why make her choose?"
Negan's nose scrunches as he looks to Daryl, sitting up now and leaning forward. "Wait, wait, wait. You're not serious. Are you seriously suggesting a... throuple?"
"Nah. I ain't gay." Daryl grunts. "It's not about me and you. Just her."
"Too bad. Thought you were finally comin' around." Negan raises his brows suggestively, making Daryl stand and roll his eyes annoyed. He stops at the bedroom door, looking back to Negan expectantly. "You comin'?"
They both quietly enter the bedroom and slide in bed on either side of you. Still asleep, you snuggle against the warm body in front of you, roaming your hand along his stomach before stopping suddenly, realizing it's not Daryl. Your eyes jolt open to meet Negan's gaze in the dim lit room as he smirks down at you.
"Wha-"
"It's okay, babe." Daryl whispers in your ear from behind.
"You still love me, baby?" Negan asks, tilting your chin up and hovering his lips over yours.
You answer him by pressing your lips to his, closing the small gap. You can't help the involuntary moan that escapes your mouth as you taste him again for the first time in so long.
Negan's hand cups the back of your neck, bringing you closer as he deepens the kiss and flicks his tongue against yours. His mouth opens slightly as a throaty groan escapes and you almost whimper at how turned on you are. Finally turning your attention to Daryl behind you, your arm reaches behind you to grip his hair and pull him in for a kiss. He kisses you back hungrily as his rough hand glides down the side of your body, tracing your curves before reaching your ass and firmly squeezing.
After a moment, you pull away from his mouth to adjust yourself, leaning up for a moment to remove your shirt and bra before laying flat on your back between the two of them.
You stare vacantly at the ceiling, blinking a few times as you attempt to wake yourself from the obvious dream you must be having. But to no avail, your men remain pressed against your body as they nip at your skin and tease you with their fingers.
Shifting lower in the bed, they both take a hardened nipple into their mouth, making your head push into the pillow below you as you bite your lip to suppress your moan.
Negan flicks his tongue lightly over the sensitive bud, while Daryl's lips suction around the other, sucking over and over. You can't hide your noises anymore as you let them hear what they are doing to you. "Ohh my god. Fuck... that feels good."
Negan grins, letting his teeth gently squeeze your nipple before lowering his hand. He easily pops open the button on your jeans before roughly pushing them down your legs. Daryl raises to his knees, helping you get your pants and underwear off your ankles until you're completely bare in front of them.
You've been with them both one on one on multiple occasions, but this feels.. much more intense with both of them at the same time.
As Daryl bends down, getting ready to position himself to eat your pussy, Negan stops him. "Look man, not tryna be selfish here. But I've been deprived of that pussy for way too long. So please, allow me." He pleads.
Daryl glares at Negan for a moment before finally moving out of his way and letting him devour your cunt. Negan's face is buried between your legs the second Daryl gives him the go ahead and your jaw lowers as you make an o-shape with your lips at how good his mouth feels. His stubble tickles your inner thighs while his tongue repeatedly flicks deep inside of you.
"Fuck!" He comes up for air, before pressing his nose to your hole and inhaling the smell of you. "Goddamn I missed this sweet pussy."
"Move." Daryl demands, taking Negan's place and tossing your legs over his shoulders. His fingers spread your pussy lips apart, allowing him better access to your clit and sucking it harshly, urging you to orgasm.
Your gaze is focused on Negan as he stands by the bed, quickly discarding his clothes.
"Daryl!" You moan his name as your orgasm rushes through you, letting your eyes stay locked on Negan's, hoping to bring out his possessive side. A smirk appears on Negan's face as he chuckles darkly, knowing you're trying to make him jealous.
Just as Daryl comes up for air, wiping your juices from his chin, the bed dips as Negan crawls over you, taking your lips in his.
"You tryin' to tease me, baby? Cause it's fuckin' working."
He kisses you rhythmically before pulling on your lower lip with teeth and grinning at you. While you're busy locking tongues with Negan, Daryl positions himself on his back beside you. "Come mere baby. Need you."
You roll over on top of Daryl, letting your knees rest on either side of him as you hover your wet opening over his hard length and slide down slowly and completely, filling your cunt to the brim as your head falls back in pleasure.
Negan settles in behind you, bumping his hard cock against your ass. His hand wraps around your long strands of hair as he pulls, bringing your head back further and exposing the front of your neck.
Chills run down your spine when Negan whispers throatily in your ear. "Think you can take us both sweetheart?"
You answer him with a frantic nod and he chuckles, biting at the sensitive spot behind your ear and making chills spread over your arms.
"Fuck. Bend over him. Now." Negan grunts, pushing your back until you're laying over Daryl with his cock still inside you.
Negan's hand spreads one of your ass cheeks as he leans back slightly, watching you slide up and down on Daryl's cock. "Goddamn. You are creaming all over his fuckin' dick, darlin'." Negan's thumb reaches out, gathering a line of your juices from Daryl's shaft and bringing it to his mouth. He groans at the taste, eyes rolling in the back of his head as he sucks his own thumb. "Fuck." He whispers, dropping his thumb to your tight asshole now and circling it slowly. "Where do you want me baby?" He asks, pushing this thumb through your tightness. You cry out at the unfamiliar feeling.
"In.. in my pussy." You whine.
"Yeah? Such a big girl, so confident that you can take two big cocks in your little cunt at the same time." Negan chuckles darkly, pulling his finger out of your ass and rubbing his tip through your folds from behind as Daryl's breathes loud and heavy while you ride him.
Negan's hand grips your waist tightly, holding you in place as he guides his cock to your already filled hole. He slides his tip along Daryl's length before ultimately pushing through and burying himself deep inside you. Daryl grunts, adjusting slightly at the feeling of Negan's dick against his own.
You cry out as your walls are stretched further than they've ever been, and the thought of your men rubbing their cocks together inside of you makes your stomach flutter.
"Oh my goddd." You cry, overwhelmed at the intensity of being so full. Not only are your walls stretched to their limit, but both of them are painfully deep. Pressure and heat build in your abdomen as you feel yourself embarrassingly close to coming already.
“Holy shit, feels so fuckin’ good.” Negan whimpers, dropping his head back heavily as he thrusts into you.
Daryl’s jaw clenches as he stares up at you through glazed over eyes. “Is it too much babe? Tell us to stop if you need-“
“No. Please. Please don’t stop.” You beg, crashing your lips against Daryl’s as you moan into his mouth. Negan brings his hand down roughly, smacking your ass cheek and making you yelp into Daryl’s mouth.
Negan grunts, grabbing the back of your hair possessively and pulling your back against his chest. Your head turns as he kisses your lips sloppily from the side, bringing his hand around to wrap firmly around your throat as his throaty whisper flows in your ear. “I might be willing to share, but kissing another man when I’m balls deep in this cunt? Not gonna fuckin’ happen, doll.”
From this angle, one of their tips press repeatedly into just the right spot, making your cheeks burn hot. And Negan’s filthy words are just what you need to send you over the edge.
"Daryl! ... Negan! Fuuuck." You scream out, feeling warm liquid rush out of you. Both men groan at the feeling of you soaking their cocks as Negan's moans become faster and louder and Daryl grows quieter - an indicator that he's close.
"Come in me..Please.” You breathe out.
"Who?" Both men say in unison.
"..Both."
"Can't hold it anymore. I'm comin' baby. I'm fuckin' coming. Ahhh, fuuuuck." He lets out a long groan, spilling deep inside of you.
Daryl groans at the intense feeling of yours and Negan’s warm liquids surrounding his cock. He bites his bottom lip as he shoots his load in you, following each pulse of his dick with a mix of raspy whimpers and moans.
Negan slides out of you as you lift yourself off Daryl, falling to the bed next to him. When Negan joins you on the other side, you lace your fingers in both of their hands as you lay there out of breath.
"What the hell just happened?" You chuckle, not able to hide the ridiculous smile on your face.
"We don't wanna make you choose. Just want you to be happy. If you want us both, you've got us."
"But.. that's.."
Negan leans in, kissing your cheek before settling into the sheets and closing his eyes. "There's no rules in the apocalypse, baby. Shoulda learned that a long time ago."
tagging my babies: @loganlostitall @chaospossum @negansbabydoll66 @redqueenphoenix @n3g5nx @crustyweirdo @youngpersonaathletebear @sadgirlzluvdilfs @ilovebill-and-gustav @neganscumbucket @manipulatorpoem @im-a-goddamn-cat @raininhell @mahogany-cherry-wine @daryldixmedown@munsonslovergirl @sanctuaryforthelost @thelauraborealis @carlgrimesbbg @c3linesworld @blueheisenbergtragedy @dekuumademecumm @midnight-dixon @arthi-s
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Text
I totally did not miss a day of disability awareness month because I accidentally skipped a day when scheduling my posts. And if you think I did... that's ableist...
Today's Disability Awareness Month post
Time blindness
What is it?
It's a complete inability to accurately measure time. That internal clock that says it's been 5 minutes? Yeah, that no works.
Cool. How can I know I have it? Because I don't really think anyone can accurately tell when 5 minutes have gone by
So a few years ago. I fell hard. Dislocated my shoulder. After a few days, I'm like "Yo. My shoulder been hurting too long after this bad fall. I should see my doctor about that". The doctor asked how long it had been. I told him 5 days... in my defense I really thought it had been 5 days... I texted my friend to confirm.... it had been 5 weeks...
Wow. That sucks. So like how do you manage that?
So like. I try to frame of reference based on what was going on around that time. Like "When did that truck randomly park in front of the house?" Well I remember being really worried about fireworks hitting it during 4th of July. So it's at least been that lot. And I know it wasn't there the week before because my friend would've definitely bitched about it being in the way. So that gives me a frame of reference of about 5 days.
So like you're talking about remembering time on past events. But you also mentioned being unable to tell when 5 minutes have gone by
Absolutely. Time blindness both impacts "I don't remember how long ago this event happened" as well as "I can't tell when 2 hours have gone by and I need my lunch break".
Another way I experience time blindness is meetings. I have a reminder at work that'll be like "meeting in 15 minutes". And I'll be actively trying to keep that in the front of my brain while I'm trying to get some last minute things done. Like "meeting in 15 minutes. Meeting in 15 minutes." Then next thing I know 2 hours have gone by 😅 and I'm like "when did that happen?"
Sounds like you're looking for an excuse to be lazy and inconsiderate of others time
No. There's actually ways you can manage your time blindness. I have an alarm for literally every. Single. Thing. In my life. I have an alarm when I should be taking lunch. When I need to go to bed. If I have a doctor appointment I'll have an alarm for when I need to make sure I have my paperwork (I aim for 2 days before). An alarm to make sure I have my insurance card (the day before). An alarm to start getting ready to leave. And an alarm to be heading out the door. Lots of alarms. Lots of reminders.
Sounds like you need a planner
See... time blindness is associated with ADHD... so that planner... do you want to see the pile of unused planners that I bought then completely forgot I had? If that planner isn't right in front of my nose as all times or screaming at me. I'll forget it exists. That's why I like alarms. They scream at me.
Cool. But I also have this thing where I can't tell how long a task will take
Fun fact. That is also time blindness. I'll be like "Cool. I'm just gonna wash the dishes real quick before I go. Should take 30 seconds..." *15 minutes later*
Time blindness makes it really hard to plan your day because you don't know how much time it'll take to do shit. One time I was like "I'll put this shelf together real quick after work". Real quick took 2 hours. How the fuck am I supposed to plan out my day if I can't figure out how long it'll take to wash dishes or put a shelf together?
-fae
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ellies-little-thing · 5 months
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STAPP I COULD'VE DROP MY CROISSANT! (e.w.)
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My masterlist <3
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
Warnings: Roommate Ellie ,Modern Ellie; swearing; fluf; arguing; Ellie is mean;  smut; reader is referred as she/her; reader has a vagina; drinking; violence (a punch or two) Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.
Author's notes: I love mean Ellie. I dont know if this is very good, i tried my very best and had fun with it. Enjoy! I hope you like it! Likes, reblogs, comments and feedback are always welcome! <3 (sorry, i have vines living in my head rent free)
NSFW MINORS AND MEN DNI
w/c: 23k
You are in your second year of university and your roommate, Ellie, is the worst roommate anyone could ever have, really. Whether it’s pestering you while studying, not doing the dishes, the TV being too loud or yelling at the people she’s playing video games with, at 3 AM.. it’s always SOMETHING. Tonight, just like always, she didn’t do the dishes and the TV volume was set too high to the point where you couldn’t concentrate on studying. You took the TV remote and muted the volume. You can't handle it anymore. She's been doing this for months and feels no remorse. You're tired of this and decide to do something about it and confront her.
“Hey! What was that for, you asshole?!” Ellie yelled, taking the remote back from you.
“I'm trying to study!” You say clearly annoyed.
"Then put some noise-canceling headphones on and stop stealing the TV. It’s a school night, remember?” Ellie rolled her eyes, putting the volume back up and pausing whatever you were watching. "Can't you go study in the library?" She asked, taking a snack out of the fridge.
“You put on the fucking headphones, and stop being so loud and annoying!” You shout at her.
"Nah, you go study somewhere else!" Ellie pointed towards the door, holding up a bag of snacks and opening it loudly. "Besides, I'm just gonna eat, it'll only be about 5 minutes." She takes out a tiny chocolate croissant and eats it.
“You're impossible...” You pinch the bridge of your nose.
"Nah, but you are with all your studying. I mean, we're in college! This is supposed to be the funnest time of our lives! When else are we going to get to stay up, eat junk food, and watch movies as much as we want?!" Ellie turned up the TV, which was the main cause of your annoyance with her.
“Yeah, we’re in college to get a degree that isn't exactly cheap!” You threw a pillow at her to lower the volume.
“Hey, stop! I could've droped my croissant!” Ellie ducked to avoid the pillow, picking it up and throwing it at you in retaliation.
“Oh, so you want to throw stuff! Fine!” You catch it and throw it at her hitting her square in the face. Ellie put the TV on full volume. “I can play this game better than you can! Can’t study now, can you?”
“I'll unplug it!” You threaten her.
"Try it." Ellie said, leaning back against the couch, eating her snacks, and waiting for you to try something. You get up and walk to the plug. Ellie’s eyes follow you as you walk over to it, but doesn’t say anything, just eating her snack. You unplug the TV. “You’re so lame.” Ellie says under her breath, finishing her snack. You unplugged it without saying one word and went back to your books. Ellie rolls her eyes and plugs the TV back up, pressing the on button and turning it up even louder than previously.
“Fuck you Ellie!” You say angrily.
"You know you love me." Ellie says smugly, laying back and stretching her arms over her head, eating her snacks, seemingly content now that the drama has started.
“If only you could be that lucky.” You respond, happy with your comeback.
“What was that?” Ellie turns her head towards you, taking the last bite of a chip before reaching for another bag and speaking with her mouth full. You take the remote from her and mute the tv. Ellie reaches for the remote, batting your hands away and unmuting it again. "You're being really rude, you know?" Ellie says in between bites from a few more chips.
“You are the one being unbearable!” You shout at her.
“Unbearable? Oh, you are SO adorable! I’m just trying to eat my snack and watch TV! It’s not my fault you’re the one here with the stick up your ass!” Ellie says, her tone and language being increasingly foul with each sentence.
“I swear Ellie, I'll punch you one of these days…” You are very seriously debating it.
“Oh, big scary Y/N is going to punch me because I’m too much fun to be around! Whatever shall I do!” Ellie sarcastically says, throwing her hands up in dramatic fashion before rolling her eyes. You take the remote muting the tv and putting it in your pocket before going back to studying. “Hey! Give that back!” Ellie says, quickly jumping up from the couch and trying to grab the remote in your pocket.
“No!” You yell.
"Give it back right now or else!" Ellie says, trying to dig her hand into your pocket to retrieve the remote.
“Or else what?” You look at her with a challenging look in your eyes.
“Or else you’re gonna have a fight on your hands!” Ellie says, her tone and demeanor shifting from playful and annoying to something more aggressive and serious. “So. Give. It. Back!” Ellie says, pushing her hand further into your pocket. You secure the remote so she isn't able to take it from you. “Hit me then.” You challenge her.
“Oh, I would love to!” Ellie says, stepping forward and slapping your face, though clearly not putting 100% effort into the slap, but still enough to sting. You were actually a little surprised she had the balls to slap you, so you slap back her as hard as you can, and bolt into your room still having the remote with you and lock the door. Ellie's head whips back from the impact of your slap, before her expression filled with rage. She runs up to your locked door, banging on it incessantly, yelling at you to give the remote back. You cry in silence so she doesn't hear or notice. Your face was stinging quite a bit.
"I know you're in there, Y/N! I'm not going to stop until you open this damn door!" Ellie yelled, banging harder and harder. "GIVE ME MY REMOTE BACK!"
“No! Fuck you! Go watch tv with your friends!” You are so angry now.
"I don't NEED friends when I can just annoy you instead!" Ellie says, her voice rising in pitch with the rage she feels. "OPEN THE DOOR!"
“Oh that's right, you don't have any friends because no one likes you!” You spit back at her.
"Oh, you're gonna be really sorry you said that." Ellie says, slamming a shoulder into the locked door. You ignore her as she continues banging on the door, and tries to kick at it. “OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!”
“No! I don't think I will!” You stand your ground.
"YES, YOU WILL!" Ellie continues banging and trying to kick the door open. "OPEN THE DOOR OR ELSE!"
“Or else what? I'm not scared of you!” You say as rage fills your body.
“Or else I’m going to MAKE you open this door!” Ellie says, banging and trying to kick harder. “YOU THINK YOU’RE SAFE IN THERE?”
“What are you gonna do?” You ask her mockingly.
Ellie stops banging on the door and grins in a predatory way. “You know that window of yours can be unlocked from the outside too, right?” Ellie says, her tone and expression showing she was capable of anything if you didn’t let her in.
“Yeah, and we are on the fifth floor you idiot!” You laugh at her.
“Oh, don’t worry, I won't die. Maybe cripple myself a little, but I can still live.” Ellie says, her voice filled with sarcasm as she smiles. "Let me in, or I'm coming in anyway."
“No.” You continue, not budging.
"I said I'm coming in one way or another!" Ellie says, attempting to unlock the door from the outside. You open the door so she can see you step on the remote and break it in front of her. Ellie watches with a smug expression as the remote is being broken, but then rage builds up inside her again as her remote is destroyed. “YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT! YOU COULDN’T JUST GIVE ME MY REMOTE BACK!?” Ellie yells, kicking at the door.
“You can have it now, it's all yours.” You pick the pieces of what was once a remote and  then throw it at her and close your door, locking it again.
"Oh, no! It's too late for me to keep the remote now! You broke it, you dumb ass! So now I just need to come in and teach you some manners instead!" Ellie says, kicking harder and harder at the door. “Go be annoying somewhere else!” You shout through the door.
"No, no I don't think I will." Ellie stops kicking and leans against the door. "You know, it's really easy to kick this door open. Don't make me do it, it might hurt."
“Then you'll have to pay for the repair!”
"Oh? You think I can't afford the repair, huh? How poor do you think I am all of a sudden?" Ellie says in a mocking tone. "And besides, you started this! It's entirely your fault the remote is broken, not mine!"
“Oh it's my fault you are waking up half of the dorm right now?”
"Uh, yeah!" Ellie says with a sneer. "This wouldn't have been an issue if you weren't being such a baby by not sharing the remote! Or better yet, going to the library!"
“Fuck you Ellie.”
"Awww, are you losing your cool? Are you upset?" Ellie taunts you, knowing what she was saying was getting under your skin.
“Go to bed.”
"Aww, no way! I'm not tired! I'm too busy annoying you to be tired!" Ellie says with pride.
“Whatever…”
"Yeah, hide in your room, little baby Y/N!" Ellie yells. You open the door and flip both of your middle fingers at her.
"Oh, is your voice too tired to not talk to me while you give me the finger? Do you need your nap, baby Y/N?" Ellie taunts you again with a smirk on her face.
“I'll punch you, I swear.” You really want to.
"Oh, I can't wait!" Ellie says, still leaning against the door with a smirk, as if baiting you to attack her. You get closer to her and punch her in the stomach. Ellie steps back as you punch her in the stomach, gasping. "O-Ow! What's the problem with you?!" Ellie leans over, rubbing her midsection as she catches her breath.
“I said I'd do it and so I did.” You say, smirking.
Ellie, still recovering from the punch, glares at you with a scowl. "You hit me?! You shouldn't hit me! Or anyone!" Ellie says, acting like you committed some kind of great sin.
“Like you didnt slap me just now!” You shout at her filled with rage to the tips of the hairs in your head.
"Well, that's different! I'm Ellie! I'm allowed to hit you! In the grand scheme of this world, I'm a lot more important than you are, Y/N! I’m popular and smart, so me hitting you is totally fine!” Ellie says with a haughty expression, as if her status and reputation in the world gave her the right to hit anyone she pleased.
“Sure you are Ellie, sure you are.” Ellie was the class clown and very popular with the girls. You can't lie, she is beautiful and charismatic when she wants to be.
"Ohhhh, is that sarcasm I hear?" Ellie says, rolling her eyes. "You better watch your tone, Y/N! This is Ellie you're talking to.”
“Oh, you're getting smart now? Didn't know you were able to perform miracles!”
"Oh hey, I've always had a few brain cells, just decided not to use them with you, Y/N. You're just not worth the effort.” Ellie says, still smirking.
“Then leave me alone.”
"Nah, I need to teach you some manners first!" Ellie says, pointing a stern finger at you.
“You're such a child…” You say, swinging your head from side to side looking at her.
"Oh wow, I thought you were a bit more mature than that! Saying mean, bad words like that!" Ellie said in a sarcastic tone.
“Yes Ellie, you act like a kid.” You’re not wrong here.
"I DO NOT!" Ellie said defensively, before letting out a huff and crossing her arms.
“Well. you sure look like one right now.” Ellie, frustrated, kicks her feet and looks away, acting like she was offended you called her a child. “Even throwing a temper tantrum… impressive.”
Ellie rolls her eyes. "I am not having a tantrum. A tantrum is what a two-year-old has, I'm a lot older than that, thank you very much!"
“Then what do you call knocking at my door, almost breaking in and shouting at me to give you the remote?”
"I would describe that as just wanting my damn remote back." Ellie says with a smug expression, not realizing she was just describing herself throwing a tantrum.
“Go away!” You almost screamed at her.
"No. I will not go away." Ellie says with pride, not leaving and not willing to back down.
“FINE. Do what you want, I'm going to sleep.”
"Oh, but I don't want you going to sleep." Ellie says with a smirk, blocking the door and not letting you leave.
“I'll punch you again.” You are very serious about this and will do it again if she continues with this attitude.
"I dare you to try." Ellie said, not backing down and staring you dead in the eyes, as if provoking you to attack her now.
You punch her and go back to your room. Ellie falls to the floor, holding her face as her eyes immediately start to water up.  "O-Oh, my god! You actually hit me! I-I'm bleeding! You're gonna pay for that you... you little..." Ellie curls up onto the floor, holding her face and still crying from the pain.
“You're not bleeding.” You say, not even looking back at her.
Ellie wipes at her nose, and it clearly is bleeding a bit. "You hurt me! I can't believe you hurt your roommate! I can't believe that's the person you are! I... I..." Ellie trails off, trying not to completely freak out and cry now that she's actually injured.
“Just leave me alone and stop harassing me!” You close your bedroom door.
Ellie lays on the floor, still holding her injured face and waiting for you to come back and apologize. "Wow, the pain is killing me..." Ellie says quietly to herself, rolling over onto her stomach. "I can't believe that's the person I live with.. I know I'm not a saint, but... I'm just a bit annoying sometimes.. I'm not someone who resorts to violence!" Ellie says, burying her face in a pillow as she cries.
You look at your knuckle and you see a bit of blood. You feel a bit guilty as you lay down on your bed. Ellie keeps crying into the pillow, making sobbing noises and sniffling as she tries to quiet herself. You get up and knock on their door. At the knock on the door, Ellie sits up and wipes her eyes. "Oh... Y/N is that you?"
“Yes, it's me…” You say reluctantly.
"Oh, uh... you gonna say sorry?" Ellie asks, the hope of an apology clearly in her voice.
“Can I come in?”
"Awwww, please do!" Ellie says, sounding like a little kid begging for their parents to let them do something. Ellie, still on the floor and wiping her face with the pillow, opens the door to let you in. "Come in."
You have an ice pack on your hand for her as you enter. "Oh, thank you. I appreciate the help." Ellie says with a small, genuine smile. "Here, let me see that..." Ellie takes the ice pack and places it onto her swollen face.
“I did punch a bit too hard, sorry.” You apologize.
"It's ok. Just don't do it again please, or else, I'll probably have to punch you back." Ellie says, smirking at you and putting the ice pack away. "Now, uh, can we talk about why you were so mean to me earlier? You know, the remote issue?"
“I'm tired of you never letting me have any peace.”
"Oh, I get it now. Why didn't you just say so? I can be annoying, that I completely understand! I just wanted to have some fun, I didn't mean to go overboard." Ellie says, patting your shoulder. "But I guess I did, and I am sorry for that. You know I can be a little over-the-top sometimes. I don't mean to get on your nerves."
“But I did tell you, like a million times!” You're getting angry again.
"Oh, right. You did, didn't you? My bad, I guess I just didn't really take you all that serious, if I'm being honest." Ellie says with a shrug, as if she could help herself. "But, I'll try to be a bit more considerate, Y/N. I don't want to push you over the edge again."
“Ok, i'm gonna go to bed now, good night..” You say dryly.
"Oh, yeah, you're gonna go to bed? Without making me a quick snack?" Ellie asks, her tone becoming mock-complaining. "Y/N, you better make it up to me in the morning! I'll see you!" Ellie says jokingly, smiling at you and waving goodbye.
You just go to your room and try to sleep. You close the door to your room and lay down, waiting to drift off to sleep. But, something keeps nagging at you in the back of your mind. You feel guilty for hurting Ellie, and you're starting to wonder if she's ok. She's been such a bad roommate for so many months now. She has been bad, really bad. But...  she doesn't deserve to be hurt either. You don't want her to keep annoying you, but you certainly don't want to hurt her in the process. You debate with yourself as you lay in bed, unsure of how to move forward.
You wake up the next morning, feeling refreshed and ready for the day. As you start to head to your first class, your mind wanders. You can't help but wonder how Ellie is feeling, if she's ok right now. You head straight to class, determined to put the Ellie situation in the back of your head. You spend your day focusing on your own studies, trying not to worry about Ellie. When you come back to your room at the end of the day, your mind begins to wonder again. After all, she is your roommate, and you do have to live with her for the rest of the semester. Ellie might be annoying, but she is still a person, and she can be nice sometimes. As you enter your living room, you see Ellie sitting on a chair, reading a book. She looks up as you enter, then looks away awkwardly. "Oh, uh... you're back! How was class?" Ellie's voice sounds a bit strained, like she was trying to sound relaxed, but still tense and nervous. “It was ok.” You say to her. You can see her face is a bit bruised where you punched her the night before.
"Oh, nice. Hey, you know, I feel kinda bad now. What happened last night..." Ellie says, not sounding that confident as she spoke. "Not that I was really hurt, but... y'know what, nevermind. I was annoying, I had it coming, end of story." Ellie says, sounding like she was expecting you to be angry with her.
“I just want to be able to rest without you making noise all night long. And for our dorm to not be a complete chaos as you leave stuff everywhere.” You explain to her.
"Yeah, yeah, I completely understand that." Ellie says, nodding with genuine understanding. She didn't like making your nights so uncomfortable, but it was just her nature to be loud and annoying. "Hey, can I ask a favor of you?" Ellie says, with a slightly nervous expression.
“What?” You ask with a tired look on your face.
"... Could I borrow your remote for tonight?" Ellie asks with a sheepish smile, not wanting to ask, but still not wanting to just barge in and take it. "I know I've been annoying, and now that I know you just want to relax, I'll be quiet. But I... I don't want to just sit in my room, bored out of my mind. So... Could I have it back? Only for tonight, I'll give it back tomorrow morning, I promise."
“Sure, here…” You hand her your remote.
"Thank you." Ellie takes the remote from you and gives you a small smile. "Have a nice night. I promise, I won't make a peep."
“Good night.” You say as you walk to your bedroom. You go to bed, feeling like tonight will be quiet for once. Ellie stays up in her room, watching TV and enjoying the remote for herself. 
You wake up the next morning, feeling good and refreshed to see this new and improved Ellie. Now that she's being nicer, hopefully, this will be a fun and peaceful rest of the semester. As you get ready for class, you hear Ellie wake up too. But, just as you expected, not a single peep is heard from her. She must have been serious about not being a nuisance, and you're glad for that. As you take your seat in class and open your notebook, you see Ellie sitting nearby, also starting her day. Seems like things are on their way to improving in the roommate department.
As you and Ellie spend the class doing your work, you feel a slight awkwardness in the air.
Ellie looks back at you a couple of times, maybe sensing the tension. But, she hasn't made a sound or even gotten close to trying to annoy you. Maybe she's learned that you don't respond too favorably to her usual shenanigans! You try to ignore the tension between you and Ellie, just focusing on your course work and getting through the class. As you hear the bell ring, signaling the time is up, you pack up your stuff and begin to head out. Ellie does the same, not saying a word to you, but not really seeming mad either. For a moment, you wonder if this is going to start a new chapter for your roommate relationship.
As you get home that night and head into the living room, you see Ellie playing a video game with a friend. Ellie is completely focused on the game, and doesn't seem to notice you come in at all. While she continues playing the game, she and her friend laugh and exchange jokes and stories as they play together. Ellie actually seems like a fun and nice person when she's not trying to get attention.
You go to your room, not wanting to intrude on Ellie's good time. She seems like she's enjoying herself and having fun, and you don't want to ruin that. As you go to your room, you wonder if Ellie will eventually come to you to talk to you about anything that's been going on with her. A part of you is secretly hoping she will, but you don't want to assume that or get your hopes up. You go to your room and spend your time studying, focusing hard on your tasks as you try to keep your mind off of Ellie. Ellie doesn't seem to interrupt you at all this time, either. Maybe that's just the way she's gonna be now? Calm, quiet and not annoying at all? You know it's probably too early to assume that, but a part of you is optimistic that she's going to behave that way from now on. A small part of you is actually sad that Ellie has gotten a bit quieter. I mean, sure, she was super annoying and it's nicer to get some peace and quiet. But, you enjoyed her presence, and now that she's so quiet, you kinda just feel... lonely and bored.
You hear Ellie's friend leave, meaning that it's just Ellie by herself again. Ellie seems to be just sitting in her room, trying to find something to keep herself entertained without bothering you, which is... really sweet of her, actually. You don't see it often, but Ellie genuinely wants to give you the space that you need, which is incredibly thoughtful of her. You start to think that Ellie must be mad at you for punching her or something, given how quiet she has been just recently. It's not like her to want to be alone that much, unless something has gone wrong. You wish you knew what was up, but you don't want to just assume anything and make Ellie madder.
You send Ellie a text, asking if she's alright. She sees the text, and texts back. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just being a bit obnoxious... thought it'd be best if I just be quiet. I don't wanna bother you so I'm gonna be silent from now on if that's what you prefer." It seems like Ellie actually is taking your complaints to heart and going to be more considerate now.
“Oh, ok... thanks.” You respond. You expected a more heated message from her.
"No problem." Ellie texts back, seeming to appreciate the acknowledgement. She sends you a small smiley emoji, and texts you back a bit more. "Oh, and, uh... sorry for all the noise. For what it's worth, I wasn't purposely trying to bother you. I just get energetic sometimes, and forget how loud I am. Anyways... thanks for being so understanding and sorry for annoying you."
“Sorry for punching you so hard.” You respond. "It's fine, I probably deserved something like that for being so annoying." Ellie seems to be understanding of why you got so pissed off with her, but she's still a bit sad about it. "Just hope that doesn't make you hate me... because, uh, yeah." She sends you another emoji, of a nervous and awkward smile. "I'm gonna let you get back to your studying, I should be fine. Just don't beat me up again, yeah?"
“Okay, good night.” You don't know what else to say.
"Good night. Sleep tight..." Ellie replies with a small emoji of a smiling moon. Maybe Ellie isn't trying to annoy you as much, but she's still your roommate, and she still wants to know you and have a connection with you. She really does care, even if she's not the best at showing it.
The feeling of guilt doesn't seem to go away. You feel like you hurt Ellie's feelings with your outburst, and that thought won't just go away now. Maybe you should see if Ellie is okay with everything, and try to make up with her. “Are you sure you're not mad?” You text her again.
Ellie texts back. "I was a little hurt at first, but you know what? I'm fine. Really, don't worry about it. Besides, sometimes I need a harsh reminder to be more considerate to someone else, you know? It's no big deal." Ellie seems understanding of your feelings, and isn't mad at you over the situation. Her words certainly make you feel a bit better, though.
You lay in your bed, thinking things over. Ellie seems to be understanding of your feelings and not mad at you, and she's even promised to be more considerate. Yet you can't sleep, your thoughts still swirling with the whole Ellie situation. Shouldn't you try to make up with her? You can't keep being mad at her, you'll ruin what you have. Maybe you should go apologize to her, and see if she's willing to forgive you.
Just as you're about to fall asleep, you hear Ellie coming out of her room. You peek out of your room, and find Ellie going back into the living room. As she shuts the door, you can't help but wonder if maybe she's up to something. You get up, pretending that you're heading to the bathroom. You enter the living room and see Ellie in a seat, on her phone with a stern look on her face. She doesn't seem to hear you come in, and you don't want to disturb her.
“Hey?... can't sleep?...”
Ellie looks at you as you speak up, caught off guard by your voice coming out of nowhere. She seems a bit embarrassed and guilty, like she thinks she got caught doing something bad. "Oh! Uh, hello. I was just... trying to find something to do while I couldn't sleep." Ellie smiles nervously, then looks back down at her phone. "Don't feel like you have to stay awake, either. I know I already ruined your sleep schedule this semester, so just... go spend the rest of the night in bed."
“What's the matter?” You ask her.
"Oh, well, I'm just a bit guilty because I know I've been bothering you all semester. I was just wondering if you would forgive me." Ellie looks up from her phone, giving you a guilty expression and looking almost like she's about to start crying. It seems like the guilt of hurting you is seriously starting to get to her, and she wants you to know how sorry she is.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so loud and annoying all the time, and..."
“It's fine, let's just forget about it.” You give her a small smile.
"Thanks, and I will. I know that I can be a loud dumbass a lot of the time, I'm honestly surprised you haven't punched me more." Ellie seems more relaxed now, feeling relieved that you won't hold it against her for too long. It's so weird hearing her swear so casually and sound so chill. It's like Ellie is a completely different person to the one you've known. "Hey, can I borrow the remote back? I want to finish my show before bed, if that's okay."
“Yeah, sure, keep it.” You say trying to give her a sympathetic smile.
"Thanks, Y/N. You're cool." Ellie takes the remote back, and you hear her changing the channel on the TV. Ellie seems pretty content to have the remote back, and you wonder how long this new chill version of Ellie will last. You go back to bed, leaving Ellie to enjoy her show in peace. You wonder if maybe this is the new Ellie, a more calm and considerate version of her. If that's the case, then you two could have a much more friendly relationship from now on, like roommates who are actually friends. You go back to bed, and think about Ellie and if her recent behavior changes are here to stay.
After a few days, you start to see the new and improved Ellie in action more and more.
Ellie seems quieter, but in a good way. She's considerate and thoughtful, and you can tell she's trying to behave differently. As you spend more and more time with her, you find yourself getting used to this version of your roommate. She's still your roommate, but now she doesn't annoy you, and you don't feel annoyed by her. Things are looking up, and you wonder if Ellie's attitude change is permanent.
“Hey, morning.” You say quietly.
"Morning, Y/N." Ellie is in the kitchen, having breakfast just like always. She seems like she's in a pretty good mood, and smiles at you as you come inside. Ellie's new persona sticks out like a sore thumb to you, almost like she has an entire new personality. She's nice, considerate and actually quite charming. It's a stark contrast from what she was when you first shared a dorm, and it's pretty surprising. "How was your sleep?"
“Good, yours?” You ask a bit hesitant.
"I slept pretty well too, thank you." Ellie smiles at you, seeming totally normal and... nice. You're still getting used to the idea of Ellie not being an annoying person, but you're starting to think this is who she really is. Maybe her annoying nature in the past was just her acting out due to not getting enough attention or something, who knows. 
"What are you doing today?" Ellie asks.
“Nothing really, it's the weekend and I don't have any plans.” You tell her.
"Just some relaxation, huh?" Ellie smiles at you, seeming to not mind at all not having any plans. She's become surprisingly chill about things, you never really see her annoyed or angry about stuff nowadays. You think she's enjoying her weekend, maybe just having some coffee and enjoying her time. You wonder if you two could be... friends? It's not impossible, is it?
“This feels weird…” You say not looking at her.
"Weird? What's weird?" Ellie looks up from her coffee, looking at you with a genuinely confused expression on her face. "This is who I am, I guess? I'm trying to be nicer these days." Ellie isn't being hostile, you think she really is just genuinely asking what you mean, trying her best to understand.
“I have never seen you act like this.” You say to her.
"Like... normal?" Ellie is caught a bit off guard by your comment. She still doesn't seem mad about it, though, more confused than anything. "But yeah... this is how I'm gonna be from now on. Hopefully, at least. I'm trying, I swear." Ellie smiles at you again, seeming completely sincere too. She seems genuinely surprised by the fact that you notice this change in her behavior now too. Maybe she thinks this is the default way of acting.
“Thanks.” You say still not very confident with it all.
"No worries. I gotta try to be a better person, it's important." Ellie smiles back at you, and finishes her coffee. Ellie looks a bit exhausted, actually, like she didn't sleep too great. But she's still not acting annoyed or annoying, just... normal. You wonder if, with Ellie acting like this, you two can go back to being friendly roommates now?
"Why are you looking at me so strangely?" Ellie asks, noticing your stare.
“Nothing, sorry I'm gonna go sleep a bit more.” You say trying to make it seem as if you were not staring at her just now.
"It's fine, I understand. You can always catch up on some sleep." Ellie smiles at you, and you notice a faint blush on her face. She's still a bit awkward when being nice, it seems. "I'm gonna go to campus to study, if that's okay." Ellie says, finishing her coffee. She seems like she's getting comfortable in this new role of being nice to you, and not being so defensive about how you think of her.
“Ok, bye.” You say as you go to your bedroom.
"Seeya. Sleep well." Ellie nods at you, and leaves with her stuff to head to campus. As she leaves, you start to think about this new Ellie. She still has her personality, but is no longer annoying you. This could work, right? Ellie and you finally have a friendship, the kind of friendship you've always wanted out of your relationship. Maybe things are looking up with Ellie.
You don't know how Ellie's annoying nature seemed to put you off, but now it seems like she's just... normal? She's not so bad anymore. As you get into bed, you just can't seem to shake this feeling that somehow, Ellie is up to something. What if it's all an act? What if she really is trying to change and be better? As you lay in bed, you think about Ellie's new personality and what it means for your relationship. You're still a bit confused as to why her behavior changed so heavily, it even catches you off-guard from time to time. You think about telling her that she can stop with the act now, but... is it really an act? Maybe this is really Ellie from now on. It's hard to tell, and that uncertainty makes you a bit uneasy.
You hear Ellie coming in from campus, as you stay in your bed and pretend to be asleep.
"Huh... She's back?" You think to yourself, wondering what happened while she was away.
You can hear Ellie put her stuff down and head towards the bathroom. "Y/N, I'm just taking a shower, then I'm going to bed, alright?" Ellie says from the bathroom. She seems pretty convincing as she is this more considerate role, and you just nod and tell her it's fine to use the shower. As Ellie showers, you're back to thinking about your relationship. Things seem better, and you wonder if you and Ellie can be better friends in the future. Maybe she's really trying to change for you, and it's not just an act. Your thoughts are cut short, when you hear Ellie talking to herself in the shower. You stay perfectly still in bed, trying to listen in on what Ellie is saying. You can hear her talking to herself, her voice soft and gentle. She seems to be talking to no one in particular, just saying words out loud to herself. "I just have to keep this up a little longer..." "I can do it... I know I can." The tone is still gentle and peaceful, which means she could just be talking to herself about being nicer.
“A bit longer?” You think to yourself. Your curiosity is getting the better of you, and you can't help but keep listening to Ellie to find out what she's talking about. You listen closely to what is being said, and you can hear her say: "I just have to maintain this, keep it going... I'm just gonna keep being nice." Ellie seems to be trying to stick to this new nice version of herself, and it seems like an active effort that she's putting into it. You wonder if she's trying to change for herself or for you. You keep listening in, and you begin to think that Ellie is trying to change this part of herself for you. However, you notice her start to whisper something new. "I know you don't think I can do it, but I know I can change... I can be a good roommate to Y/N..." Ellie is whispering, but you can hear her clearly say your name to someone. Who could she be talking to at this late hour, and could this be because of you?
You try your best to be as quiet as possible while you listen in, waiting to hear if Ellie will say anything more about you and the fact that she's changing for you. However, Ellie just keeps talking to herself. "I just have to keep doing it, this new me will stick eventually. She'll see, and I'll prove to her that I changed." Ellie seems to be talking to herself, but she seems really determined to change and be a nice roommate. You hear the door to the bathroom close, and a few moments later, Ellie walks into her room, looking all fresh and clean. Ellie is still a bit groggy after her shower, so you decide to stay in bed and pretend to sleep. Ellie goes back into the corner of her room, and looks around to see if everything is in place. She gets comfy in her bed, and you can hear her softly say. "Goodnight, Y/N..." You hear Ellie lay down in her bed, and you try not to move too much while you pretend to sleep. The whole "new Ellie" thing has you curious. She's nice to you now, and she's trying to be your friend. You wonder if Ellie really is trying to change for you, if "new Ellie" is the real Ellie.
You wake up in the morning, and as you get up to shower, you see Ellie still asleep in her bed. Ellie looks peaceful, like she slept well last night. "Ellie seems to be really trying to stick to this new version of herself, maybe she really can change for good?" You think as you head into the bathroom. After the shower you get dressed for the day, and you feel like today could be a good one. The fact that Ellie changed overnight is still confusing, but she seems genuinely nice to you now. Ellie is still asleep in her bed, looking peaceful and content. You think that she is really going to change. Maybe you two can finally be friends, after all these months. You decide to go for a morning walk, and as you get out, you notice that the sun is shining bright in the sky. It's a good day for a walk. Ellie is still asleep as you leave, and you think about how much nicer she is lately. You wonder how long she can stick with this change before she goes back to her old ways, or if she really has changed at all.
After a bit, you come back from your walk. It was a good start to the day, and you feel pretty great. As you come in, you see that Ellie is still asleep. She seems calm and content, still happy to be the new Ellie. Ellie seems to still be sticking to her new personality, and you wonder how long it'll last. Maybe she'll stick with it, and be the new Ellie permanently. Or maybe this is just a phase, or it's an act? Ellie still being asleep and looking so peaceful makes you a bit worried, though. Does she even sleep well as this new Ellie?
You decide to stay in the living room and just relax. Ellie is still asleep in her room, and you wonder how long she's been asleep for now. Maybe it's better to let her get some rest, you think to yourself, since you wonder if this new Ellie even sleeps well when she's so nice. You just watch videos on your phone for a bit, just relaxing and thinking about how different Ellie seems now. You watch videos for about an hour or so, and suddenly, you hear Ellie wake up from her bed and come out. She looks tired, but still a bit refreshed too, like she's had a good amount of sleep. Ellie comes out, stretching a bit, and you wonder if she slept well. She sees you, and her face lights up with her new normal-ness.
"Ohhh, good morning!" Ellie says with a nice smile.
“Morning…” You say, still confused. She seems to be in such a good mood today, you wonder if this change in her behavior is permanent. "How was your sleep?" you ask, looking up at her. Ellie's new and improved mood seems to still be present, and you hope that this is how she will be from now on.
"It was pretty good, how was yours?" Ellie responds. She's still acting all friendly and approachable, looking at you like you're a stranger that she's just met. You wonder if maybe she's trying to give you a chance, or just trying to be polite. Ellie is acting so differently, it's difficult to tell if this kindness is really genuine.
“Fine.” You’re still suspicious of her.
"Good, I'm glad. So... what are we gonna do today?" Ellie asks, looking at you. She seems to be waiting for your response, and she seems genuinely curious at what you're doing today.
“Don't know, nothing planned, you?” You ask her curious.
"Not really. I probably should go to campus and catch up on my studies, though." Ellie says, looking back at you. "I'm happy for you to tag along, if you want company." “Sure” You say, still unsure about all of this.
You leave the apartment together, and head off to campus. As you walk together, Ellie starts to talk again. "So... how are you? You seem nice too." Ellie seems to be asking with genuine curiosity, her tone coming off a bit like she's awkward about asking. She's clearly not used to being nice, and you wonder if this new Ellie will even last.
“I'm sorry but, i have to ask…” You needed to know this.
"What's up?" Ellie responds, looking at you curiously. Ellie seems like she wants to hear what you have to say, and she seems to be asking honestly.
“Are you really trying or just pretending?” You just need to know and hear it from her mouth.
"Well... I am trying, definitely. The last months have been... a bit tough. I've realized that I've been a mean and horrible person. So, I'm trying to be better and nicer. For me. But also for you.." Ellie looks down while saying this, clearly thinking about your question a lot. "I can't guarantee that this is how I'll be for good, I'll probably keep slipping up. But I am trying to be a better person. I hope that's good enough for you."
“Thanks for the honesty.” You give her an awkward smile.
"Yeah, of course, I want to improve. I don't think it's fair for me to keep being horrible to everyone, especially since you're trying to be nice to me. You're my roommate, we should be nice to each other." Ellie smiles at you, as she looks forward while walking. "Is there anything else you want to ask me?" Ellie asks, clearly wanting to answer any and all questions you ask of her.
“Why were you so mean before?” You ask her, looking at the floor as you two walked.
"I dunno... I don't really know why I'm so mean to everyone. I think life kinda made me be like that, you know? It made it hard for me to be nice or pleasant to anyone. It still feels weird when I'm actually being a nice person, but I'm glad I'm improving, at least." Ellie keeps looking at you, hoping to make you understand. "I just wanna be better, I don't want to be a horrible person anymore."
“It's just so weird to see you now, sorry.” It really is weird to see a completely new person in Ellie's body. It doesn't seem right.
"You don't have to apologize. I know I'm being pretty nice, it's probably weird to see me like this, after how horrible and mean I've been to everyone." Ellie says, looking down slightly. "I wanna be nicer though. I do." Ellie is acting weird, but it seems to be because she's not used to being nice like this to people, and not because she's trying to put on a facade or fake it. Ellie is really trying to be nice, but it seems difficult for her still.
Your phone buzzes and you get a text from your group of friends. “My friends just asked me if i wanted to go to a party tonight, you want to come?” You say trying to change the subject.
"A party? Tonight?" Ellie says, a bit shocked by the question. "Well... sure. Sounds a bit sudden, but okay. Are you going?"
“Yeah, my friends are really pushing me to go to this one, not sure why.” You explain.
"Well, why not go out and have a good time? Don't let them push you too much, but also it's okay to have fun." Ellie says, trying to encourage you to go and have some fun. "And yeah, I'll come along."
“Okay.” You smile at her.
A few hours of studying later Ellie says. "Well, we should probably get ready, then. Get dressed, and all that." Ellie is pretty relaxed and nice about all of this, and it makes you think that this new Ellie is really going to last for good.
“Yeah, maybe we should get ready.” You walk back to your dorm to change.
"Alright then, let's go get ready." Ellie goes and gets changed, picking out her favorite t-shirt to wear to the party. "I'm actually really excited for this, I haven't been to a party in months." Ellie says, smiling. Ellie seems to be getting dressed up pretty nicely, excited for the party.
You go to your room and close the door to get dressed and ready. As you close the door, you hear Ellie talking, and you're a bit curious what she's saying. "Well, I don't want to mess this up. I have to make sure Y/N likes me tonight, I need to be nice the whole time. I have to be okay. I have to..." As you listen in, you hear Ellie whispering to herself again. You wonder if she's preparing for the party, and how she can just be nice to you the whole night.
You think to yourself about whether Ellie will be able to stick with this new version of herself. She's being genuinely nice and polite so far, but maybe she's just being fake for the party. Either way, you decided to give her a chance too, and see how it goes tonight. Ellie seems to be trying, and you'll give her the benefit of the doubt for now.
You put on your favorite dress and a bit of makeup, to make yourself look nice for the party too. As you come back outside, Ellie finishes putting up her hair in her usual half bun. "Oh, so we're both gonna look cute tonight! Nice." Ellie says, looking at your dress. Ellie seems to be genuinely excited for the party, and not just faking it.
“Well, thanks.” You say blushing a bit.
"No problem, you look good in that dress." Ellie says, looking you up and down. "Ready?" Ellie asks, seeming excited for the party. She grabs your hand and drags you outside, ready to go to the party and hopefully have a good time. As she grabs your hand you start feeling funny. It doesn't feel right. Ellie is clearly excited to go to the party, and she seems to have her mind set on being nice to you tonight.
You eventually make your way to the party, and Ellie takes you by the hand as you follow her inside. Ellie seems to know some people, and leads you over to a group of her friends. Ellie introduces you to her friends, and you feel like you might be able to make some new, nice friends yourself tonight. Ellie's friends know who she is, and seem surprised that she's been nice as well. They seem to be talking about her and her past behavior, and you start to feel a bit awkward and nervous.
You let go of Ellie's hand, and she seems a bit confused and surprised. You were feeling uncomfortable holding hands with her. "Why are you... letting go?" Ellie asks, looking at you. Ellie seems confused and surprised, and she doesn't understand why you would want to move away from her now. She thought she was making progress in her attempt to be nice, but by letting go of her hand, it seems like you don't trust her anymore.
“I'm just gonna go get us some drinks…” You say as an excuse.
"Oh... okay then. I didn't know you wanted to go get drinks." Ellie says, a bit confused. Ellie still seems nice, but this whole exchange has made her feel confused. She's really trying to be better, and you seemingly just don't trust her at all. Ellie seems a bit sad, but she lets it go and just leans back against the wall. She'll stay here and let you do your thing, and she'll just wait for you to come back with drinks.
You go to the kitchen and pour something into two solo cups. You down your drink in one go and pour it again, then you go back to Ellie as if everythings fine. "Hi. Here's your cup." You say, looking at her like nothing happened. Ellie seems to be pretending like she didn't notice you let go of her hand, and that you don't really trust her. Ellie has her own cup now, and she's acting a bit strange and awkward around you still. And you have no idea why. You started sipping your drink.
"Sorry, I got distracted earlier." Ellie says awkwardly, clearly still pretending like there wasn't anything wrong between you two. Ellie doesn't seem that comfortable still, and you don't know if she's just having a bad day or something, or if she's still putting up an act. Ellie seems to be drinking her drink slowly, not sure what to say to you at the moment.
“Are you okay?” You ask her a bit uncomfortable. "Yeah, I'm fine." Ellie says, sipping on her drink. "Why do you ask?" Ellie looks at you, trying to see if you noticed something. Ellie seems to be wanting to make sure that she's still being nice and not letting her emotions slip up again.
“Nothing.” You try to let the weird interaction go. Ellie seems to relax a little bit now, and she lets go of the awkward conversation. "Anyway... I'm glad we're getting along!" Ellie says, trying to start a better conversation than last time. Ellie seems to be trying to forget about that awkward moment, and move on to enjoying the party. "Shall we try to go and talk to people?" Ellie asks, drinking a bit more of her drink. Ellie and you walk over to a bunch of her friends. She gets a bit excited, and starts to talk to them like this is normal. Ellie tries to introduce you to everyone, and you can feel her smiling and having a good time. You feel a little awkward, but you try to smile and enjoy the party too. After a few minutes you have to go to the bathroom. "Oh, sure. Go to the bathroom, I'll just hang out with my friends. See you in a bit." Ellie seems happy and enjoys her time with her friends while you're gone. As you come back outside, you notice Ellie is still talking to her friends, but she sees you and leaves the conversation with them, walking up to you again. "Hey, I'm glad you're back. We can go back to the party, if you still wanna be there?" Ellie asks, smiling.
“I'm just gonna go get some fresh air, you stay with your friends and catch up!” Ellie looks confused, and seems a bit hurt by your decision. "Okay then, I can hang out with my friends, I guess." Ellie says, sounding a bit annoyed. Ellie decides to go back to her friends, while you go outside. You can see Ellie looking over at you every now and then, probably wanting your attention, or wanting you to come back inside with her.
You go outside, and take some time for yourself. You light up a cigarette to calm yourself down, and take a few drags as you clear your mind. Ellie sees you out there, smoking. She doesn't think it's a good thing for you to do, especially with your asthma. But right now, she decides to mind her own business. Ellie goes back to her friends, and starts to talk again. Just like she said. You can see Ellie looking up at you occasionally, worried that you might leave the party and not stay there with her.
You sit down for a bit. You seem to be trying to calm yourself down and clear your mind. You're out here for quite a bit, and Ellie eventually comes out too. She looks at you, seeming worried. "What are you doing out here still?" She asks, a bit confused. Ellie seems to really want to spend time with you, but right now she's more worried about your safety. She's thinking that you're not safe out here, and she wants to help you.
“Just getting some fresh air…” You say trying not to look at her.
"That's good, I just... I'm worried about you, is all. You know, with your asthma. I just don't think smoking is the best idea." Ellie says, starting to sound like a bit of a mom. She still seems worried about you, and wants to make sure that you're safe. You can feel her eyes on you for now, but she doesn't know what to do, since you don't really want to come back inside.
“It's just once in a while.” You don't really see the problem here.
"I get that it's just every now and then, but I still don't like you doing it. It's not good for you, okay? You have asthma, you can't smoke often if you want to be healthy." Ellie says, looking really worried now. Ellie can't seem to let it go anymore, and she's starting to get slightly angry, because she doesn't think that smoking is a healthy thing to do. She's getting overprotective again, and is sounding a bit like your mom, but she's trying to help you.
“Ellie, I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions, okay?”
"I know you're an adult, but... I care about you. I don't want to see you ruin your health, especially when you have asthma! If you're gonna be making your own decisions, I want to at least make sure you make good ones." Ellie says, clearly a bit mad at you. Ellie doesn't want to be a mom here, but she's getting overprotective again and can't let it go. She's doing it because she cares, but she also wants you to understand that smoking is really bad for you.
“You never cared about it before…” You say quietly.
Ellie seems to have taken offense to that comment. "Well, now I do! And it doesn't matter if I cared or not before, I care about it now." Ellie says, still trying to look out for you. Ellie seems to be really caring right now, to the point where she's almost nagging you or getting mad at you about smoking. She sounds pretty rude, but she's doing this because she cares. "You shouldn't smoke. It's not good for your asthma, and I don't wanna see you get sick over it."
You put your cigarette out, and Ellie starts to calm down a bit. "Good. Smoking is really bad for you. You need to take care of yourself, okay?" Ellie says, now sounding a lot calmer. Ellie still seems to be nagging you a bit, but it's out of genuine care for you, and she doesn't want to see you get hurt.
“I just need to be alone for a bit, i'll go back in a few minutes okay?”
"Oh, yeah, sure. Go ahead. I'll be inside, come find me when you're ready. Don't be gone too long though, alright?" Ellie says, trying to calm herself after that outburst. Ellie seems to have gotten over herself a little bit, and is starting to be nice again. She's happy that you're going back inside, even if she was a bit rude just before.
You come back a bit later and go get another drink. Ellie gets up when she sees you. You and Ellie walk up to the bar, and Ellie orders herself another drink. You notice her smiling and acting a bit happy again. She doesn't seem angry at you anymore, and you and her just walk around the party. She seems to be having a good time, and she's talking to her friends again. You also notice that Ellie has gotten pretty tipsy and drunk. She's not that drunk, but she definitely had a few drinks by now.
“I think you maybe shouldn't be drinking anymore tonight.” You say to her concerned.
"No, no. I'm fine, I know my limits." Ellie tells you, giggling to herself once again. Ellie seems like she's having fun, but you can also see that she's drunk. She probably isn't in the best mood to make good decisions right now, so you might want to be careful with what you do and say around her. You look at her a bit worried and then drink your beer. As you look at her, anyone can see that she's pretty drunk. Ellie seems happy and excited, and probably doesn't notice your look of worry. She tries to take your hand, but misses, and grabs your wrist. She doesn't want to fall over or anything, but she does want to be close to you and hug you.
“Ellie, please let me go.” You are not feeling comfortable with her touching you without a warning. Ellie doesn't want to let you go, but you make it clear that you want her to step away. Ellie doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable, so she lets you go. She looks a bit disappointed, but she tries to still act normal. The alcohol from the drinks has made her a bit more emotional than usual, and she seems a bit upset now. You can feel her watching you as you go.
You watch as Ellie approaches another girl at the party. Ellie starts talking to her, laughing and smiling as she does. You can't hear what they're talking about, but Ellie seems really happy talking to this girl. The alcohol is making her less serious now, and she's acting a bit more loose and happy. You see Ellie acting like herself again. She's smiling and laughing, and it seems like she's making a good new friend here. You've never seen this girl before, but she seems like she's enjoying talking to Ellie, and vice versa. The alcohol is definitely making her act a bit differently than you're used to. You look over at the dance floor, and you see Ellie dancing with the girl you just saw her talking to. They're both smiling and having a good time, but you notice Ellie starting to hold the girl a bit more. She seems to like hanging out with this girl, and dancing closely to her. She seems to be enjoying herself, but you can feel that there's almost something more to it than just friends.
You watch as the dance between Ellie and the girl gets more and more intimate. Ellie and the girl start to kiss each other, and you can almost feel the electricity between them. Ellie looks excited, nervous, and happy all at once, as she enjoys this moment with the girl. You can still see Ellie watching you here and there, but now she's really distracted by the girl.
You decide to go to the bathroom, not wanting to watch Ellie make out anymore. Ellie doesn't notice you leaving, and she continues to enjoy her time with this girl for now. After a bit, Ellie breaks away from the girl, and you can see her looking around for you. She's probably trying to see if you're still at the party or not.
You look out, and you see Ellie return back to the girl and make out with her again. Ellie is drunk and having a good time, and she doesn't really care if you left right now. She's having too much fun with this girl, and right now she doesn't want to stop. You see Ellie and this girl start to hug each other more closely, as they continue to make out. You decide to leave, and don't want to deal with Ellie making out with this girl. Ellie doesn't notice you leave, and she goes back to the girl as if it never happened. You leave the party, and Ellie stays there with the girl she just met.
You get home after the party, and start to take off your makeup and your dress. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you know that this isn't how you wanted the night to end. You feel a little sad now, but deep down you know that Ellie was just being her usual self again. She gets excited and can't contain herself, and she's probably not going to remember most of tonight. The party ended in a way you didn't want it to, but you have to accept it. You can try and talk to Ellie about it tomorrow, if you still want to. “Me and her have nothing, I have no right to be jealous.” You say to yourself and you know you're right, you have no right to be jealous. You and Ellie aren't a thing, no matter how much of your own feelings you might project onto her. This girl was just another girl, and Ellie got excited and drank too much. She doesn't think that it's a big deal, but she probably won't remember this in the morning. You can try and talk to her about it tomorrow, but for now you just have to accept the way the night ended.
You try to go to sleep, but you hear Ellie come home. You also hear another voice though, probably that of the other girl. You know that you shouldn't try and listen to them, but at the same time you probably want to hear what they're talking about. It may not be anything important, but it could be something related to you. At the same time, if you listen then you could risk Ellie not liking you anymore, because she might think that you were spying on her.
You try your best to ignore the noises outside your room, but after a while the sounds become harder to ignore. You start hearing moans outside, and you can't help but be curious about them. The sounds are getting pretty loud now, and you might have to find out what's going on outside. You look through the gap in the door, without making any noise. You see Ellie and the girl taking their clothes off, as they seem to be getting ready to do something. You quickly turn away and walk back to bed, trying to act like you didn't notice anything. You want to pretend that this never happened, and that you're sleeping peacefully in your bed right now. Ellie doesn't seem to have noticed you looking at her, so you're safe for now.
They go at it for about an hour, and you were there to listen to it the whole time. You couldn't sleep because of the noise, but you didn't want to say or do anything about it. You didn't want them to know that you were there. You listened to them go at it for an hour, and you're feeling a bit angry and sad now. You also notice that you're starting to feel a bit jealous of this girl. You should try to avoid thinking about it, and try to sleep again. You try to sleep, but it's not that easy. You're frustrated and feeling a bit jealous, and you can't seem to just let go of the whole thing with Ellie. The noises finally stop, but you still have to go to sleep. Try to focus on how you're feeling right now, and don't blame Ellie too much. It's not her fault that she was drunk and didn't make the right choices. You want to be her friend, and you need to learn to let things go sometimes.
You wait until you're sure that Ellie and the other girl are sleeping in her room. Then, you decide to go to the bathroom to let your emotions out a bit. You close the bathroom door and look at yourself in the mirror. You're feeling frustrated and jealous about what happened, and you know that you need to let these feelings out. Try to take deep breaths, and focus on something other than Ellie right now. You can talk to her tomorrow if you still want to. You keep telling yourself that you have no right to be jealous, but you know that you're jealous nonetheless. You can't help but feel like Ellie and the girl just had something happen between them, and you're jealous of the girl and of the attention she just received. You feel a bit hurt or maybe even betrayed. You thought you were closer to Ellie than that, and it hurts you to see her make these kinds of choices with another girl.
You go back to bed after a bit, and you try to sleep again. You eventually fall asleep, but the emotions from before are still affecting you. You can't really seem to get rid of the fact that Ellie slept with another girl, and you know that this isn't the way you imagined things to go. You're not able to sleep too well because of this, and your mind is keeping you up.
In the morning you went to the kitchen and go eat some cereal and watch as the girl leaves Ellie's room. You notice that the girl has left Ellie's room. You decide to make some cereal for yourself, and you want to see how this is going to play out. Ellie seems pretty hungover and tired as she enters the kitchen, and she just sits at the table by herself. She doesn't seem to have noticed you yet.
You don't say anything as Ellie walks into the kitchen. Ellie doesn't say anything either, and she just sits there in silence for a bit. You want to say something to her, but you know that she's probably embarrassed about what happened last night. You can try and ask her about it if you want, but it may also be better to just let her tell you if she wants to. Right now, it seems like Ellie wants to keep quiet. You finish your breakfast and go back to your room. You probably shouldn't talk to Ellie, and she probably doesn't want to. You have to accept the outcome here, and just go about your day. Ellie might tell you about what happened last night later, or she might not ever bring it up again. But you can't force her to do anything, and you have to let her deal with this in her own way.
You get dressed and go to your classes, trying not to think too much about what happened last night. You probably won't see Ellie at your classes today, since she might be too embarrassed to go or might just want to skip them entirely. But you have to do what you have to, and you have to go on with your life the best you can. You'll probably see Ellie next time you're at home, so you can talk to her about last night if you still want to. But for now, you just try and get through your classes.
You get home at the end of the day, and you see Ellie on the couch slouching still in her yesterday's clothes. Ellie's on her phone, and she seems to be doing nothing else. You can see that she's still wearing the clothes from last night, and you feel a bit weird. Ellie doesn't notice you come in yet, and she seems to be completely focused on her phone. As you close the door, Ellie looks up at you. Her face has a bit of a tired and annoyed look to it, and you can tell that she didn't get much sleep last night either. Ellie doesn't say anything to you, and instead she just looks back at her phone and keeps scrolling through it.
You ask Ellie awkwardly, "So... had fun last night?" Ellie looks up at you again, and she doesn't say anything for a bit. She keeps looking through her phone, and she finally responds with a slight nod. Ellie still doesn't seem to want to talk about what happened last night, and she seems to be avoiding any sort of conversation about it. But from her response, you can guess that she probably did have fun. “Ok, i'll be in my room.” You say embarrassed that you asked anything at all. Ellie looks back at her phone and doesn't say anything else. She keeps scrolling through her phone, and you can tell that she doesn't really want to talk about what happened last night. She just wants to brush it off and move on. You close your bedroom door as you go in, and you can hear Ellie moving around. Ellie is still there, still on her phone in the living room. But you can't hear much anymore since you're in your own room now. You don't know if Ellie wants to talk to you right now - she might just be avoiding you. You'll just have to wait and see what happens next.
A few hours later, you hear the door opening and you can feel Ellie come into the hallway again. Ellie's footsteps are a bit lighter now, and you get the sense that she might want to talk to you or at least say something to you. You can hear Ellie come up to your bedroom door, and you think you hear her knock on your door softly.
“What?” You hear Ellie knock on your door once, and you hear her say "Hey" very softly. Ellie seems to be waiting to hear your response now, and you start to wonder if you want to talk to her or not. You say hi but you don't look at her though. Ellie looks at you, but she doesn't say anything for now. Ellie seems surprised that you let her inside and she isn't sure what to say. She might not have expected you to actually listen and talk to her.  You stay quiet and don't say anything, and you see Ellie stay quiet as well. Ellie looks a bit awkward right now, and you can tell she's not exactly sure what to say. She's also probably a bit embarrassed about what happened last night, and she might not want you to ever bring it up. Ellie seems to want to talk about something, but she's not sure how to begin this conversation. So far, it seems like she wants you to be the one to start the conversation first.
You couldn't bear the silence anymore. You wait for Ellie to speak for a bit, but she still isn't saying anything. After a few seconds of silence, you ask her, "What is it?" Ellie still seems to be thinking about what to say, and she's avoiding eye contact with you. It seems like she wants to talk about something specifically, and she doesn't want to say it out loud yet.
You look at Ellie and ask her, "If you're not gonna say anything, why did you knock?" Ellie finally looks back at you, and she seems to be embarrassed that you were able to call her out like that. Ellie responds, "W-well... I wanted to... talk with you... about last night..." You look at Ellie, and you see that she's trying to find the words to say something to you.
Ellie finally speaks, saying, "I wanted to chat with you... about last night..." Ellie seems a bit hesitant to speak, and she's having trouble saying what she wants. It seems like she wants to talk about the fact that she slept with the girl, and she's trying to find the right way to explain herself to you. You tell Ellie "Ok" in response to what she said, and you wait for her to speak again. Ellie looks at you for a moment "About last night, I just... want to say that... I..." Ellie trails off and doesn't say anything else. She seems to have trouble talking about this, and she seems to think that you might judge her for what she did.
“What is it Ellie?” Ellie looks at you once again and speaks, saying, "About last night... I just wanted you to know..." She trails off again and doesn't say anything else. She seems to be really struggling to speak, and she might be too scared to say anything out loud. It seems like Ellie wants you to know something about last night, or at least how she's feeling about it. But she doesn't seem to be able to say it.
You sit back down at your desk in your room, and Ellie looks at you for a moment before she finally speaks. Ellie says, "I just wanted you to know... I'm... sorry..." Ellie seems to be trying to explain herself, but she's having trouble saying too much. She might be sorry for sleeping with that girl last night, or she might just be sorry for not being honest with you. Either way, she at least has something to say to you. You look at Ellie and ask, "Sorry for what?" Ellie seems to be waiting for your response, and maybe she also wants you to ask this question so she has a chance to explain herself. Ellie hesitates a bit and finally says, "Well... sorry for... sleeping with that girl last night..."
“Why? You and I are just friends... just roommates…” You say a bit uncomfortable.
Ellie looks at you for a bit and says, "I... I know... but... you see..." She pauses for a moment and then continues saying, "It's just... I just... I was feeling a bit... lonely... and she... it just happened..." Ellie doesn't say anything else but it seems that she wants you to know how she feels about last night. You think she feels bad for what happened, or at least for not being upfront with you about it right away.
You look at Ellie and tell her, "You don't have to tell me anything, it's none of my business." Ellie looks back at you and then says, "I know... but..." Ellie takes a deep breath "I don't want to keep any secrets from you, and..." Ellie pauses again and looks down at her lap, trying to find the right words.
“And?” You ask so she continues explaining herself.
Ellie looks up at you, "I don't want to keep any secrets from you, and I... I know you probably deserve to know more than I've been telling you right now. I... I..." Ellie seems to be struggling to say what she wants to, but she doesn't seem to want to keep you in the dark. You pretend to be doing homework while you wait for her to say more. Ellie takes a deep breath and continues, saying "I think I might actually really like her..." Ellie pauses and looks down at her lap again. She seems to be struggling to get these words out and to tell you this, and she seems to be very embarrassed about herself.
“That's okay Ellie, you can like other girls. It's never stopped you before…” Ellie looks up at you and says, "That's okay? Really?" Ellie smiles at you and then says, "Thank you for understanding..." She seems to feel a bit better now that you aren't judging her and you still accept her as a roommate or a friend.
“Why wouldn't it be okay?” You ask not looking at her. Ellie looks at you and says, "I don't know... I just thought you might be upset or something..." Ellie looks down at her lap again "I just thought it might make you not want to live with me or..." Ellie pauses for a moment and doesn't say anything else. She looks like she's waiting for your response now.
She pauses for a moment.  "I was worried that I'd told you all of this and you'd hate me for it. But if you're attracted to girls too, then I can't be all that bad... right?" Ellie waits for you to say something to her, but you don't respond. Ellie isn't sure what to say now, but she does have one more thing to say to you. She tells you, "I think I want to date this girl that I slept with last night... if she'll have me." Ellie smiles at you. "I don't know if she'll say yes, but... I don't feel too ashamed about it... so that's good, right?"
“Yeah, that's good Ellie” You say, feeling super jealous. Ellie smiles at you and says, "Thanks... I wasn't sure how you'd feel about it... what with me being your roommate and all... but I'm glad it doesn't bother you... as my friend." Ellie thinks for a moment. "Do you know how I should even ask the girl if she wants to date? I mean, it might be too soon to ask her on a date, but what are you supposed to do after you sleep with someone? Should I wait a few more days or weeks or..."
“I don't know Ellie, I never just slept with anyone.” You say dryly, still with your back to her.
Ellie pauses for a moment, seems to laugh a bit, and then says, "I didn't know that sleeping with someone could be so complicated."
“Yeah, being drunk doesn't help either…” You say a bit annoyed.
Ellie nods and says, "Yeah... being drunk doesn't help at all... I shouldn't have had so much to drink last night." Ellie laughs a bit and says, "I can't even remember how I ended up taking the girl home... I just... woke up in bed with her and it was like... wow, that happened..." You continue to pretend to work on your homework while you listen to Ellie explain her feelings and thoughts about last night. Ellie seems to be struggling to sort out everything in her head, but it seems like she's really happy that she can talk to you about it. She talks for a bit more, telling you everything that happened from when she met the girl at the bar to when they both ended up in bed together.
“I don't think I want to know the details…” You really don't want to hear the things she did with the girl. Ellie seems to be about to say more but then stops herself. Ellie smiles at you and says, "Oh... right... you don't want to know those kinds of details. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you about it..." Ellie sounds sad and disappointed that you don't want to hear everything that happened last night, but you don't really want to hear all of it anyway.
“I'm sorry, I just don't want to know the specifics.” You felt like you were about to cry if she spoke another word. Ellie nods ."I understand, and that's okay. I just wanted to tell you a bit about it and let you know how I felt about all of it... so that you wouldn't be too surprised when I come home with a new girlfriend..."
“It's okay, you don't have to explain anything to me.” Ellie looks at you and says, "Yeah... but I wanted to... for some reason..." Ellie seems to think that it's important for you to know everything, even though you don't really want to. Ellie smiles at you., "I'm just going to go text the girl and ask her out... so if you don't mind, I'm going to do that now."
“Ok, bye Ellie.” Ellie smiles and says, "Bye... and thanks again for being so understanding about this... I appreciate it..." Ellie takes out her phone and starts typing out a message to the girl. Ellie smiles at you once more and says, "Hopefully this will all work out... and hopefully you don't mind if I bring her home."
“Sure, whatever Ellie.” You were so done with this conversation at this point. Ellie nods and gives you another smile. She finishes typing her message and then texts the girl. She waits for a few moments before the girl replies. Ellie checks her phone, seeming to be reading the message that she just got, and then she gives you a smile. "I just asked her out, and she said yes!"
You give her a thumbs up trying not to show how jealous You are. Ellie seems to be really excited that the girl agreed to go on a date, and she gives you a thumbs up in return. Ellie starts to text the girl again and says, "I'm gonna ask if she wants to come over tonight or tomorrow or something... I hope she can come..." Ellie seems really excited and she waits for the girl's response. You start paying attention to your books again, while Ellie is texting the girl that she just asked out. Ellie looks up at you for a moment and says, "Oh... she said that she's free tonight and that she'll be over in a few hours... so..." Ellie seems to be a bit nervous and excited at the same time, since this will be the first time that she's bringing someone home to the apartment with you as her roommate. She seems to be waiting for your response now.
“That's fine, i'll be in my room, i won't bother you” You start tearing up. You tell Ellie that you won't bother her or her date and that you'll just stay in your room. Ellie nods and says, "Thanks, that would be nice... I hope we won't be too loud i... we probably won't, but..." Ellie trails off and doesn't say anything else. She is starting to have doubts about this whole thing, but she also knows that the date is already coming over in a few hours, so she can't really change it now.
You close the door to your room and it gets a bit quieter. You start working on your homework for a bit and then you hear a knock on the front door. You think, "That's probably Ellie's date." You keep working on your homework but you listen to see what the two of them are doing. You hear them talking for a few minutes but you can't make out what they're talking about.
You put your homework to the side for a moment and try to listen to what Ellie and her date are saying. You still can't make out exactly what they're saying for the most part, but you can hear Ellie laughing from time to time. The other girl also seems to be laughing and talking too, so it seems like their date is going well. You start to feel like maybe you should give the two of them some privacy, so you stop listening to their conversation and you get back to your homework. You focus on your work and you think about your own love life for a moment. You wonder if this is how your own first date will be like, when the time comes. A few minutes later, you hear the front door open and close again. You listen for a while to see if you hear the two of them talking again, but you don't hear anything after a minute or two.
After a few more minutes, you don't hear anything in the apartment. It's possible that Ellie's date left already, but it could also be that she and Ellie are in her room and they're not making any noise that you can hear. You decide to wait for at least another 10 minutes or so before you investigate, but if you don't hear anything by then, you decide to check up on Ellie. You get out of your room and go to the kitchen. Everything looks quiet and you don't hear anything coming from any of the rooms. Your roommate's date might already be gone. As you look around the kitchen, you see a few bottles of beer in the fridge and you wonder if maybe that's how Ellie's date went. That might also explain why you didn't hear anything for a while. Ellie has a habit of drinking a bit when she hangs out with friends, and sometimes it's more than just a few bottles. You hope that Ellie hasn't had too much.
You go into Ellie's room and you see that she is laying on her bed with her eyes closed. Ellie is completely silent and you wonder if she's drunk and sleeping already. Ellie doesn't seem to notice you, and you think she might be napping or maybe trying to sleep off how much she's possibly had to drink tonight.
You knock gently on the door and Ellie seems to wake up. She sits up on the bed and says, "Huh?" She sounds a bit drunk right now, and she probably didn't hear you knock the first time because she was already asleep. Ellie looks up at you and says, "Oh... what are you doing here? Are you going through my room for something?"
“No, just wanted to see if your date went ok…” You lie.
Ellie smiles at you and says, "Yeah... actually... it was pretty good..." Ellie seems to be in a bit of a better mood right now and you think that maybe her date did go well. "You don't mind that I brought her home, right?" Ellie seems a bit worried that maybe you're upset about the whole thing, but it seems like she is starting to calm down now.
“No.” You lie yet again.
Ellie smiles at you and says, "Thanks... I... I'm not sure what to say... about all of this... you know?" Ellie pauses for a moment. "I'm just glad that you're okay with it..." She smiles again, "You're my roommate... so I definitely want to make sure that I don't make you mad or anything..."
“It's fine, I'm gonna go to bed.” Another lie.
Ellie nods and says, "Okay... you should go ahead and get some sleep then... and I'll see you tomorrow." Ellie smiles at you and lays back down on her bed. If she's that drunk, she'll probably be asleep soon. Ellie probably won't remember anything that happened once she wakes up, but you also really hope that nothing bad happens between her and her date tonight.
You wake up the next morning and you realize that you can hear someone else's footsteps in the apartment. Ellie is usually the only person home at this time of the day, so it seems like someone else is still here. You think about your previous night and wonder if maybe Ellie's date spent the night here or something. She does seem to be moving pretty loudly though, and you wonder if it could just be Ellie herself.
You come out of your room and walk into the kitchen, where you find Ellie getting something to eat. Ellie seems quite hungover today, but she still smiles at you and says, "Hey, how are you? Sleep well?" Ellie takes a few bites of her food as she waits for your response.
“What was all that noise?” You ask her a bit annoyed. Ellie looks up at you and then she starts to laugh a little. Ellie seems to be feeling the effects of her hangover, so her laugh comes out a bit more like a chuckle. "Oh... that was... uh... my date last night..." Ellie seems a bit embarrassed by this, and you wonder if it's normal to bring home someone you just went on one date with already.
“Sure.” Ellie nods and says, "Yeah... she... um... yeah... she actually stayed the night... so..." Ellie rubs her head for a moment, "Uh... if you don't mind... I just... I'm gonna spend a bit more time in my room, okay...?" Ellie seems to be in a bit of pain from last night, and she doesn't want to deal with it at the moment. She smiles at you once more, hoping you don't mind if she hides in her room for a bit.
“Ok.” You say, trying to sound like you don't care about it. Ellie smiles, "Thanks, I... I'll come out in a bit..." Ellie takes a few more bites of her breakfast and then she goes back into her room. You watch as she closes her door behind her, and you wonder what exactly she plans on doing in her room. She can't hide away forever, and you think that the sooner she faces her hangover, the better it will be for her.
You start to feel a little jealous of Ellie's date, even though you know that you shouldn't be jealous at all. Ellie can date whoever she wants to date and it doesn't have to have any effect on your relationship with her. You tell yourself that you can't be jealous, but it still just feels a little... wrong. You go to take a shower to try and forget about your envy of Ellie's date. It doesn't help to try and not think about it, and you still feel a bit hurt that Ellie would date someone else after just a few days of trying to be nice to you. You try to focus on the good things about the situation, like how happy Ellie is with her new date, but it still doesn't make you feel much better about the whole thing.
You come out of your room in your towel and you see Ellie in the living room. Ellie is sitting on the couch and she seems to be deep in thought. Ellie sees you and smiles at you, but then her face drops when she realizes that you're only wearing a towel. Ellie quickly turns her head away and she looks around the living room a bit nervously, as if she's waiting for you to go back to your room before she continues with what she was doing. You go back into your room and get dressed, and then you walk back into the living room a few minutes later. Ellie is no longer there, but you do hear some talking coming from her room. You walk a little closer to Ellie's room and you listen for a few moments. You hear Ellie talking on the phone with someone, and she looks like she's having a pretty intense conversation.
You lean in closer to Ellie's door, trying to hear what she's talking about. You're able to hear her voice, as well as another voice that sounds like a girl's. You can't make out everything that they are saying, but you do hear Ellie say, "Listen, I need to talk to you about everything..." It sounds like Ellie might be having a serious conversation with her date. You keep listening, hoping to hear what is going on. You can hear Ellie talking, but you can't make out everything that the two of them are saying. It sounds like Ellie is trying to explain something to her but she doesn't seem to agree with what Ellie is saying. Ellie seems a bit frustrated and upset over the whole thing and the tone of her voice changes to something a bit more serious than you normally hear from her.
You decide to go to your room and to not listen in on Ellie's conversation with her date. As you walk to your room, you wonder what exactly Ellie would be talking about with that girl. You also wonder if Ellie is still just as happy with her date, or if something might have gone more serious between the two of them. You enter your room and close the door, trying to forget about what Ellie is doing right now.
You start messing around with your phone to pass the time, and you try to distract yourself from whatever drama Ellie might be going through. You might know the outcome, but you still want to see how Ellie handles the situation. A couple of hours pass by and you start to hear footsteps outside your room. You wonder if this is Ellie coming back to the living room, or if she is on her way to your room. You wait a few moments longer, and then you hear the sound of Ellie's voice coming through the door. Ellie says, "Hey... can I come in...?" You might wonder why Ellie would be coming to your room, but you also wonder if she wants to talk to you about what happened between her and her date.
“Hey, what's up?” You say as she's entering your bedroom slowly. "Hey... there's something I need to tell you... I... I just..." Ellie seems to struggle with her words for a moment, and then she says, "I just wanted to be honest with you about something..."
“Yes?” You ask. Ellie takes a deep breath, "Okay... so, um... last night, she came over for that date... and... she slept at  the apartment for... the night..." Ellie still hasn't looked up at you and she seems to be a bit nervous about telling you this. You wonder if the two of them did more than just spend the night together. Ellie still hasn't looked up at you, but she continues to talk.  "My date and I... we... we had a good time last night... and... uh... we might have done a bit more than just... spending the night together... if you know what I mean..." Ellie still hasn't looked up at you and she still seems to be nervous about this whole situation. It's not like Ellie to open up about her romantic life this much.
“Oh, ok.....” You start to feel your heart getting heavy in your chest. Ellie takes a deep breath and looks up at you for the first time. Ellie seems a lot more relaxed now that she has finally spoken about what happened the previous night. "So... um... I guess I just wanted you to know what happened... so that you.... um... don't feel like I was keeping anything secret from you... or anything..." Ellie smiles at you and says, "Oh... and... that might mean that my date will start staying here more often..."
“Oh....” You continue, feeling worse by the word. Ellie smiles at you and says, "You're okay with that, right...? Um... I just wanted to make sure that you didn't mind..." Ellie seems a bit worried that you might not react well to her news and she doesn't want to risk causing a fight between the two of you.
“Of course…” You say a bit sad but she doesn't notice. Ellie smiles at you and says, "That's good... I was just a bit worried that you wouldn't be okay with it... um... but... if you're alright with my date staying here sometimes... then... uh... that's great..." Ellie still doesn't notice that you look a bit sad right now, but you want to make sure that you are honest with her about the entire situation. You don't mind Ellie having a date, but the thought of Ellie spending time with another girl other than you does still sting a tiny bit.
“Anything else?” You ask not looking at her. Ellie nods and says, "Um... yeah... there is one more thing..." Ellie looks down for a moment and then she says, "You know... the reason I told you about my date... was... um... I think I... like her... a lot... like... a lot, a lot...." Ellie seems a bit scared of your reaction to this news, but she doesn't seem to be trying to hide this fact from you.
“Oh…” Is all you manage to say. Ellie nods and then says, "Yeah... um... I really like her... like... a lot... I might even... have feelings for her..." Ellie still seems a bit scared, but she doesn't want to hide any of this from you. She just wants to be honest with you about it all and she wants to make sure you aren't surprised or shocked by any of these news.
“It's your life Ellie.” You feel like your heart is as heavy as an anchor now.  Ellie nods and says, "Yeah... I know... it's just... I wanted to be honest with you about it... and... um... I hope that you don't mind... and that it doesn't make things weird between the two of us?" Ellie smiles at you again and says, "We're still friends, right... I just want to be able to trust you and tell you stuff like this without having to be worried about anything..."
“Yeah…” You really don't like this but you hated her just a few days before so you have no say in the matter. Ellie smiles at you, "Thank you... for understanding... and for not judging me... I just wanted to tell you... I feel like I can trust you with everything..." Ellie seems to be a bit relieved by your reaction, and she's glad that everything is still okay between the two of you. Ellie smiles at you. "Well... I guess that's it then... is it okay if my date comes over again?"
“Sure…” You're still sad but she still doesn't notice. Ellie nods and says, "Uh... thanks for being such a good friend... you're seriously the best..." Ellie then she goes back into her room. You think about telling Ellie that you're feeling a little sad, but you don't want to risk making things awkward between the two of you. You hope that Ellie's new relationship with her date will be a good one. You also hope that eventually the sadness that you feel about her dating someone other than you will pass soon, and that you'll start to feel better about the whole thing before too long.
You decide to go to a party with your friends the next weekend. You and your friends go out to the party together and you have a lot of fun. The night is filled with drinking and dancing and you don't think about Ellie and her date at all.
When you come back home, you don't feel too sad about Ellie's date anymore. It's like the feelings have passed and you're happy for your friend to have someone in her life who she cares about. You come home from the party still a bit tipsy and you see Ellie sitting on the couch. Ellie smiles at you when she sees you come back, but she gets up to greet you and asks if you had fun at the party. You tell Ellie that you had a great time, and then she asks, "So... did you meet anyone last night at the party? Any cute girls or anything like that?"
You hug Ellie and you blame your hug on the fact that you drank a little too much at the party. Ellie hugs you back and says, "Are you drunk? You're acting like a bit of a drunkard, you know that?" Ellie smiles and says, "At least you're just being cute... unlike some people at those parties." Ellie shrugs your hug off and then she says, "I'm glad you had fun at the party though... that's good..."
“You think I'm cute?” You ask, smiling, clearly still drunk.
Ellie laughs and says, "Oh, you're completely hammered right now... of course I think you're cute... I've always thought you were cute... and... I've really missed you lately..." Ellie blushes a bit and she looks down at the floor, seeming a bit embarrassed by her reaction. Ellie smiles and says, "I'm not sure we should be having this talk right now... you know... when you're still drunk like this?"
“You missed me?” You ask confused and under the influence.
Ellie looks up at you and says, "Yeah... I mean... I've been so busy with my date lately... I haven't had as much time to hang out with you... I've been missing our hangouts... and... um... I was even thinking about you the other night when I was with my date..." Ellie smiles at you. "But it's good to see you... and I really do miss you... the last few days have been really fun and I... I just hope that we can hang out more soon... is that alright?"
“When you were with her? Why?” You ask her as the alcohol helps you let the words out easier. Ellie blushes a bit.  "Well... I just... I really like being with my date and... I really missed you, but I was also just thinking of you... and... um... I don't know if I should be telling you all of this..." Ellie smiles and says, "I'm probably just being silly... I'm sorry about that... but... yeah... I missed you and I was thinking of you while I was with her..."
“Okay… I like your hugs.” You say drunk as can be. Ellie smiles at you and says, "Yeah... my hugs are a lot more comforting when you're drunk." Ellie shrugs and says, "It's good to know that you like my hugs... but we'll talk about this more later... once you don't smell like beer anymore..." Ellie smiles at you again, "I'm not really sure if I should say what's on my mind right now... this whole alcohol thing is making my head fuzzy... and I don't want to say anything that we might regret, you know?" She had had a few beers too while you were at the party, playing some online games with some friends to pass the evening.
“We can be honest with each other.” You say as you notice she's a bit tipsy as well. Ellie looks up at you and says, "Well... if I'm being honest... then... I've... I've been thinking about you... lately... and... um..." Ellie blushes a bit and then she just spits it out. "I don't know if this is just because I'm a bit drunk right now... and I'm sorry if this is totally stupid and inappropriate of me to say... but... do... do you have any romantic feelings for me... at all...?"
You're still drunk but you need to ask her this. “What about your date?” You look at her confused. Ellie laughs. "My date? Well... I... I mean... I might... like her... a lot... but... I do... have lots of strong feelings for you... and..." Ellie stops and then she looks up at you. "I can't believe I'm telling you this... I'm just... I'm thinking that... um... you and I could be more than friends... maybe a little more than just roommates... but I don't know..." She seems a bit nervous to say all of this out loud. You hug her again a bit tipsy and clumsily. 
Ellie hugs you back and says, "Oh... um... this is totally weird... and... I don't know why I'm feeling like this... but... maybe?" Ellie smiles at you. "Wait... do you like me like that... too...?" Ellie seems pretty confused about how she's feeling right now, but the alcohol is telling her that she likes you... more than just a friend... and she's confused by this realization.
You try to focus on Ellie's face, but it's still a bit difficult since you've had a bit too much to drink. Ellie looks at you and she smiles, and then she says, "I don't know how... or why... this happened... but... I think that... um... there's... definitely... something here... and... um…  Ellie seems to be struggling to find the right words to say what she's feeling, but her eyes say it all.
You kiss her as you have no filter right now. Ellie seems a little surprised by your sudden kiss, but she leans in and kisses you back. Ellie wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you in closer, kissing you more passionately and with more emotion than you've seen her show ever before. Ellie seems to be very happy with this development, and she keeps kissing you for a long time before she pulls away.
“I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that. You have a girlfriend…” You say a bit embarrassed about what you just did.
Ellie shakes her head and says, "No... it's okay... I was... um... I was just as much a part of this... I mean, uh... I liked it... liked kissing you and... um... I don't think anyone has ever kissed me so passionately before..." Ellie smiles at you. "It's good... I like it... I never knew that I had feelings like this for you... and... um... I think that this might... work?"
“What about her?” You ask Ellie, not wanting to wreck anything she may have with that other girl.
Ellie shrugs and says, "I don't know... I... I guess I still like her... and we aren't exactly in a relationship... but... um..." Ellie sighs. "I'm not sure if I really want to be with her right now... I mean... I don't know... I've always had feelings for you... and... um... what if this means..." She then looks at you . "What if... I don't like her like... like that at all... what if it's you that I... want to be with?"
You kiss her again. Ellie's lips meet yours and she kisses you passionately. You notice that she isn't trying to hold back her emotions like usual. Ellie is giving everything that she has into this kiss and she doesn't seem like she's going to stop any time soon. Ellie's love for you is pouring out of her right now and she seems like she can't control herself. You don't have to say anything to her, but you know how much she cares about you based on the way she is kissing you.
You take off your jacket clumsily as you and Ellie kiss passionately. Ellie pulls you closer to her and wraps her arms around you, holding you tightly and kissing you all over. You may be tipsy, but your thoughts and feelings about Ellie come rushing back and her kiss makes it clear that she wants to be with you in more ways than you could have imagined. Ellie looks up at you and says, "I... I can't believe I've been so stupid... I... I want you... I want you so badly now..."
She continues to kiss you back and then you take her flannel off, revealing her shoulders and her pale skin underneath. You notice that Ellie's skin is smooth and her tattoo on her right forearm looks even more amazing in the dim light than it did before. Ellie doesn't seem to mind though, and she keeps kissing you. Ellie is getting even more intense with her kissing now, but you can feel yourself becoming a bit dizzy and light-headed as the alcohol starts to affect you more.
You straddle her on the couch and keep the kiss going. She smiles and lets you straddle her. She keeps kissing you passionately, and you feel the butterflies in your stomach building as you two make out on the couch. Ellie wraps her arms around your neck and pulls you in closer to her, and she keeps kissing you relentlessly as you lie on top of her. Your lips meet hers over and over again in a desperate and intense display of affection and desire.
You take off your crop top and then you kiss Ellie's neck while the two of you are still entwined. The alcohol has finally begun to take hold and you feel your legs starting to get a little bit wobbly. Ellie smiles and then she grabs you and lays you down on the couch. Ellie's face is flushed and you can tell that she is also a bit tipsy. Ellie leans over you and starts to kiss your neck and your chest, and her movements are slow and deliberate.
Ellie's slow and deliberate movements seem to drive you crazy, just as much as she seems to enjoy your passionate embrace. All of your inhibitions are quickly fading away to oblivion, just as the alcohol's effects make themselves known. You find yourself enjoying the moment with no thoughts of anything that might happen in the future. Ellie keeps kissing you passionately, leaving light but soft marks that you may notice in the morning.
You start to unbutton your jeans with all the excitement. Ellie seems to notice you unbuttoning your jeans as she continues to kiss the top of your chest. She smiles and then she starts to move her lips down your body, nibbling her way towards your midriff. Ellie's skin is still a bit chilly, just as her movements are still slow and deliberate. She seems to be taking her time, enjoying every second of this moment the exact same as you are. Ellie seems to take notice of the fact that you're getting shivers as she travels down your body using her lips and her tongue, and they start to cause goosebumps along your skin.
You start taking your jeans off clumsily. Ellie stops and then she smiles and says, "Well... you're certainly not wasting any time... are you?" She laughs a little. "I mean... if this is what you want to do... then I'm not going to object."
You pull her into another kiss. Ellie kisses you back eagerly once you pull her back. She seems to be enjoying herself as much as you are, and her movements don't seem to be quite so slow and deliberate as they were before.
You try to take her wife-beater off. Ellie leans back and lets you take off her top, revealing her bare shoulders and her tiny arms with a thin, almost transparent veil of hair. She's so pale underneath that you can see her veins running along her arms and a bit of her chest. Ellie smiles at you and says, "Thank you for taking off my shirt... I was getting a bit hot in that anyways..."
You look at her body, mesmerized before kissing her again. You two continue to kiss for a few more moments and then Ellie breaks away and smiles at you. She's even more intoxicated now than before. The alcohol is definitely affecting her judgment and causing her to act differently than usual. Ellie seems quite mesmerized by your touch and your lips, and she seems to be enjoying this even more now than before. She reaches up and strokes your cheek before moving her hand down along your neck and to your chest. Ellie is smiling and licking her lips again and her movements are still slow and deliberate.
You look into her eyes as you feel her hand go down your body. Ellie looks back into your eyes and smiles at you again as her hand moves down. She smiles at you and then she leans over and starts to kiss your neck, nibbling on your skin and making you feel your heart rate start to increase. Ellie's movements are still slow and deliberate, but they have more energy behind them now. Her fingertips travel along your skin and she strokes your chest once again, feeling the muscles and listening to your heart pounding in your chest.
You try to unbutton her jeans now Ellie seems a bit surprised when you try to unbutton them. She smiles and laughs a little and says, "Wow..." Ellie leans forwards and kisses your neck again and she's still nibbling on your skin with her small teeth. She's smiling and she's clearly quite into what you're doing, though she still doesn't seem completely sure of what to do next. She wraps her arms around your neck and she starts to kiss you again and says, "I... I'm really enjoying this..." You let out tiny moans into the kiss as she touches you Ellie gasps a bit and she keeps kissing you eagerly.
You take off your bra slowly. You slide your hands slowly behind your back and you take off your bra as Ellie kisses you along your neck and your collarbone. Ellie seems to be quite into it and she doesn't say anything to object. She smiles at you and then she moves her hands over your body as she keeps nibbling on you and caressing you. Ellie seems quite drunk and she's slowly moving her lips over you as she licks your neck and touches you.
“I've wanted this for so long.” You whisper, not even realizing that you said it out loud.
Ellie stops kissing you and she seems a bit surprised when you say that. "Really... you've wanted this for a long time?" Ellie leans back. "Well... um... I guess... I've wanted... this... for a long time..." She says a bit shyly. Ellie still looks a bit drunk and flustered though and she's not completely sure how to handle your admission to her.
You continue kissing her passionately. Ellie leans forward again and she keeps kissing you, caressing you lightly with her hands and moving her lips down to your chest. Ellie seems to be enjoying herself more and more as she keeps kissing you, and she's not letting up yet. She's still got her full attention on you and she seems to want to continue this. Ellie smiles as if to confirm your suspicions and she moves her lips to your throat and kisses you there gently while her hand trails along your chest.
You try to take off her sports bra. Ellie's sports bra comes off eventually and she's now totally topless. Ellie smiles and says, "Hey..." as she looks you up and down, clearly taking in the sight of you.
“hi…” You smile shyly before kissing her again. Ellie kisses you excitedly as she wraps her arms around you and pulls you closer. Ellie's movements are starting to become more frantic, as if she's getting more and more excited. She's kissing you passionately and her breath seems to be leaving her body in a rush. Ellie looks at you and she smiles and then she says, "I like this..."
“I like this too.” Ellie kisses you eagerly and her passion seems to be increasing. She leans over you and her hands start to travel down your body once more, and her eyes seem to be focused on you. Ellie's breath is coming out of her in short, sweet gasps as she continues to kiss your neck, your chest and your arms, and you feel her body right next to yours.
You look into her eyes, filled with desire. Ellie seems filled with passion as she continues to kiss you and she looks directly into your eyes. She seems filled with the same excitement and desire you feel and her eyes say it all. Ellie's eyes are locked onto yours and her smile is making her look even more beautiful than before. Her lips meet yours again as she lays you down on the couch and then she slides over with you. Ellie leans over you and she starts to kiss your chest, your abs and your arms. Her breathing is still quick and shallow, and her hands begin to move down your body once again.
You start moaning a bit, to her every touch. Ellie seems excited by your muffled moans and then she lifts her head up a bit and smiles. She looks into your eyes and says, "Oh..." Ellie's hands begin to move downwards again, down your chest and then along your hips. You can feel her nails lightly scratching against your skin and her lips meet yours once again. She's moving faster and more eagerly now, and she seems to be losing some of her inhibitions as the alcohol continues to affect her judgment.
You kiss her neck and get drunk on her cologne. Ellie leans back and she lets you kiss her neck as your hands go down to her hips and her arms wrap around your back. She's still smiling, but you notice that her breathing is getting more and more heavy. She seems to be loving the way that you're touching her and you can feel her grip tightening, almost as if she wants you to be more aggressive and assertive with her.
You grab her face with both hands and kiss her hard. As you grab her face and kiss her, Ellie laughs a bit and she squeezes your body tighter, holding you more firmly in place and kissing you back more eagerly. She seems to enjoy the way that you're taking control and being assertive with her. As Ellie continues to kiss you and bite your lip, you can feel her body pressing against you more and more forcefully, which feels slightly uncomfortable but you can tell that she's enjoying herself. She leans into you and keeps kissing you with the same intensity that you're kissing her with.
You try to straddle her lap now. Ellie lets you straddle her without saying anything or resisting it. She's smiling and she seems to be enjoying herself. Ellie's hands are still on you, holding onto your hips and you can tell she's trying to pull you even closer. You can also feel her body against yours, she seems to be enjoying the pressure.
Her body feels so good on yours, you feel like you're in a dream. Ellie smiles and then she leans in and she kisses you again gently, holding the kiss for a long time as her hands move again to your hips. She leans over you and she says, "Oh..." You bite her lip teasingly. Ellie seems to be enjoying the feeling of your teeth on her lips, as you bite her lip gently and then you let go again. Ellie smiles again and she leans her head over yours, then she moves her lips onto your neck and starts to kiss you there more softly, with a mixture of bites and nibbles combined with her lips and her tongue.
You feel your core starting to heat up. The heat of Ellie's body against yours and the alcohol in her blood is starting to add to that. You also feel her nails digging lightly into your skin and she's biting your neck gently but with just a bit of force behind it so that she knows you feel it but it doesn't hurt. Ellie is still kissing you passionately, nibbling your neck and your chest, and using her hands more aggressively to pull you towards her. She's smiling but she looks almost a bit feral.
You kiss her with the same energy as you move your hips on her lap, looking from some friction. Ellie's body seems to be reacting to your movements and she bites her lip as she leans in towards you and she keeps kissing you. Her fingers are brushing up against your body lightly as she holds your sides while she kisses you again and again and moves her hips along with you, meeting your pace almost exactly. Ellie's eyes seem to be gleaming in the light and then she leans in and she bites your neck again, only harder this time, and you can see her teeth mark on your skin once she moves away from your neck.
You get up for a second and take your underwear off. You get up quickly and Ellie watches as you do so, but you notice that all of your movements seem to be a bit staggered as a result of the alcohol in your system. Ellie's face lights up and she seems to be filled with anticipation now. You straddle her once more, now without any clothes. You can feel how wet you were getting. Ellie's eyes light up and her face is filled with a mix of surprise and anticipation as you straddle her. She seems to be trying hard to maintain her composure though, and she smiles seductively at you. You feel Ellie's breath on your neck and then her lips are on your skin again. She's nibbling you and biting you as her hands are moving up and down your body. She's slowly moving her hips against yours and then she starts to move even more enthusiastically.
You start moaning as she keeps biting you. Ellie hears you and she smiles. She seems to be enjoying herself tremendously and her hands are now grasping your sides firmly. You feel her breath on your neck as her lips and her teeth move along your skin.
You move your hips faster on her lap trying desperately to create some friction to ease the feeling of how incredibly turned on you are right now. Ellie's eyes turn towards yours and she's smiling as she's keeping her hands firmly on your body and your hips. She's now fully into the moment and the sound of your moans seem to be filling her with delight. You can feel her breathing on your neck as her lips bite you again gently, and you feel her body move up and down against yours as she follows the pace that you set with your hips.
You can feel her hand on your thigh, really close to where you want it to be  and you can feel her fingers gripping it. Ellie moves her hands along your body and then she leans back just a bit so that she can look you in the eye again. She smiles as she holds your gaze and then she leans forward.
You kiss her neck and keep the movements going. Ellie keeps up with your hips and she moves in rhythm with you. She leans back over your face, her eyes glinting seductively as she does so. She leans forward and her hair falls forward onto your arm as she nibbles your neck. She smiles and kisses you on your hand before leaning back and taking a quick breath. Then she leans back forwards and she moves her body against yours with more force.
Her hands are moving along your body again and then she moves away for a bit. She leans back a little just to enjoy the sight of you and she's clearly still very intoxicated. Ellie's eyes are gleaming in the light and she's smiling at you, "Wow... you seem to be enjoying this quite a lot..." You look at her panting and your face is blushing more by the second.
Ellie smiles and caresses your waist and your thighs as she looks at you, and then she leans over your face. She's panting a little but she's also very excited and she's smiling at you. She moves with you again, following along with your hips and you can feel her breath on your neck and her lips nibbling your body.
Ellie moves you down onto the couch and then she leans over you and she starts to kiss your shoulder and your chest. Her fingers are moving along your body more firmly now and she's breathing more heavily as she kisses you, but you can also hear her laughing and she's still smiling. She seems to be having a lot of fun. Her fingers begin to move further down your body and she smiles at you before whispering, "Wow... I think I... I like doing this..."
“I like you doing this…” You respond. Ellie smiles and then she seems to be struggling with her words as she speaks. Her face is filled with a bit of embarrassment and she leans back on top of you. She looks down. "I like this too..." Ellie kisses you again and you can feel her breathing heavily on your neck.
As you try to take Ellie's boxer's off, Ellie smiles and says, "Ah... um..." Ellie seems a bit surprised but then she leans over and she helps you take her boxers off. She's lying on top of you again and she seems to be enjoying the intimacy of what's happening. Her eyes are filled with a mix of excitement and a bit of shyness, but she's clearly not resisting as her fingers are moving down your body again and she's still nibbling lightly on you. Ellie's hand slowly begin to move towards your lower region, her fingers making small movements and caressing along your thigh.
You moan as she touches you. Ellie smiles and seems to be a bit surprised but pleased. She leans back and she continues to nibble your body again, while her other hand moves even further along your thigh and into your pussy. As she feels how wet you are her eyes went wide. “Oh, you’re really enjoying this…” She smiles as she kisses you once more. She starts triling small circles around your sensitive bud and looks at your face as she does it to see your reaction. Ellie has just taken your breath away again and now she's nibbling on your neck once more. She seems to be having a lot of fun now and she's not showing any signs of holding back any longer. You can feel her breath on your neck as she bites you.
She starts kissing down your neck to your chest and your breasts. She fondles one of them and sucks on your nipple and makes you moan. She smiles mischievously as she now sucks your other nipple a bit harder and nibbles on it a bit too. She's loving seeing you like this. All along as she's doing this her finger continues on your pussy, massaging your sensitive clit. You can't hold back your moans as she touches you, it just feels too good.
Ellie starts kissing down your stomach now and you can feel goosebumps forming on your skin. She smiles as she sees you shiver. Her fingers travel a bit lower than your bundle of nerves and she collects some of your wetness as she continues to make you moan. You can feel her leaving wet kisses along your belly as they make their way to your beautiful cunt. Once she reaches it she gives it a long lick to taste you and moves her tongue to your clit wanting to make you feel even better that you already are.
When you feel her tongue on you you roll your eyes due to all the pleasure as you arch your back. Ellie is happy to see you enjoying yourself and doesn't want to stop any time soon. She moves her tongue faster and faster as she feels your wetness growing on her fingers. She starts moving them around your entrance, you look down at her for a moment and she looks like a starved woman eating you out. You start feeling one of her fingers trying to enter your hole.
Ellie cant wait to see you all fucked up from her fingers being inside you. She starts inserting her middle finger slowly inside you, not to hurt you and stretch you slowly as you adjust to the intrusion. She starts pumping it in and out as she's still flicking your little clit with her tongue. Now you understand why all the girls want to be with her. She definitely knows what she's doing.
She's so concentrated on your clit and the sound of your voice that she closes her eyes. As one of her hands is taking care of you she lets her other one travel down her own body and touches herself as she is getting famished. Her core is throbbing and she can't stop herself from rubbing her own clit. Your moans only make her more turned on. A bit later she feels all the wetness she's producing and starts fingering herself, moaning into your pussy. You've never seen Ellie so eager and you're loving it. The vibrations of her moans into your cunt just make things feel even better. You put your hand on her head and tug at her auburn hair so she doesnt stop what she's doing.
She then starts prodding at your entrance with a second finger and inserts it without warning, making you gasp. She looks up at you as she does it and laughs to herself once she sees your reaction. She starts moving her fingers again “You like that?...” She smirks. All you can do is nod. “I knew you liked me all along, you just didn't want to admit it…” She moves faster now making you moan even more. She sucks your clit one last time before coming back up and kissing you passionately. She muffles your moans with her lips and you kiss her back letting your tongues intertwine. She is kissing you hungrily and doesn't want to stop. As the kiss quickens, so do her fingers, making you get closer to your release.  She looks you in the eyes as she inserts a third finger inside you. You frown your eyebrows as she does it trying not to look away from her green eyes. She smiles as she sees your whiny face. “Fuck… You feel so good baby.. I'm gonna make you cum, yeah?” As she says this she starts going faster and hitting the spot that makes you go crazy, making you moan louder than before and roll your eyes to the back of your head. She bites her bottom lip as she watches your reaction to her three fingers inside your tight hole. She keeps her pace going as she watches you reach higher and higher  closer to your peak. 
Your mind is starting to go blanck as the pleasure she's giving you makes you feel better than ever before. When you feel like your orgasm is about to wash over you you look back at her in the eyes. “Fuck… Ellie i’m… I'm gonna….” Before you could finish your sentence You feel your orgasm starting. Ellie cant take her eyes off of you, she's completely intoxicated. “That's it, cum for me… cum on my fingers…” You feel your body reacting to her words and you can't hold it back anymore. You cum as she's fingering you with all her skill.  “That's it… give it all to me…” She says looking down at your cunt filled with her fingers. her eyes shine as she sees all your cum. 
She slowly helps you come out of your high as she kisses you and starts moving her fingers slower until she eventually stops. She takes her fingers out of your cunt slowly, mesmerized by all of your cum. She then brings them to her mouth and sucks every last drop of your juices. She moans as she tastes you, it's like she's been starving for weeks. After, she kisses you so you can taste yourself on her tongue and lips. She smiles while she kisses you and caresses your face and hair. She gets up for a second and comes back from the bathroom with a wet warm towel to clean you up. She then lays beside you on the couch and holds you in her arms as you two cuddle for a bit. You hug her back tightly and don't want to let her go ever again. Her body feels so warm and soft against your skin. Both of your breaths start to slow down as you hold each other.
Ellie looks at you, her eyes are shining, she never felt so linked with anyone like she does with you in this very moment. You look back at her with love. You never knew you could feel the way you do about her ever. She is the most important thing to you at the moment, just like you are hers. A few minutes into the cuddle she says quietly in your ear. “I think I might love you…” Your heart starts beating harder now as you hear her words. You hug her tight and nuzzle your head into her neck. “I think I have loved you since the start…” You whisper to her. She holds you tighter and kisses your forehead. She covers you both with a fuzzy blanket and you both fall asleep holding one another. Maybe you never hated each other after all.
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verycherry1 · 2 years
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Pike Roast {Carmen Berzatto | Pt.2 }
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A continuation to Pike Roast.
He chewed at the inside of his cheek while twitching his thumbs over the thread of outgoing messages. You were just shy of approaching week 3 on your anti-Carmen Berzatto Campaign, ignoring every text he sent. 
Though, day by day the Carmen Berzatto found himself growing more anxious at the thought of this becoming permanent. He wasn’t anticipating for this to go on as long as it had been. After all, this wasn’t the first time both of you encountered a wrangle amongst one another.
It occurred sometime in your third month of this situationship. He had initiated the idea of cleaning out a shelf for you at his place considering how frequently you had been staying. However, the conversation soon went sour once you suggested the concept of becoming official.
 “No, we’re not ready.” He insisted harshly, refusing to give you anything but a gentle rejection. “This isn’t perfect.” 
“We’re not perfect or I’m not up to your food & wine standard?” You push back vocally from the opposite side of his kitchen island.
There’s a shake of his head, coming prepared with your response. “Never said that” refusing to make any eye contact with you while he dismissed the conversation, he continued to carve up the marinated fillet on the opposite side of the counter. His blue eyes fixated on perfecting dinner, tuning out the choked back wounds you were reflecting.  
“You implied it.” You retort. 
There’s a heavy, aggravated, sigh that leaves his chest. Flinging his knife in the sink out of frustration, he finally gives you his undivided attention. “How am I supposed to be in a relationship with someone whose shift ends when I’m just getting up for work? Enlighten me on that, (Y/L) because clearly, I’m misunderstanding how that’s functional. ” 
“It’s called compromise Carmen.” You retaliate, downing the glass of Prosecco to numb his lack of compassion.
Carmen always had this way of making you feel like you were absurd for inquiring what your relationship was. Every time he took two steps forward while you followed suit, he ran 4 steps back. 
“I take that as you want me to quit my field of work so the both of us can be miserable at a shitty 9-5, right? Hey! While we’re at it, why don’t we pop out a few mouthy cunts to sabotage what we have going on, and then, we can resent each other for the next 18 years? Sounds like a fucking dream (Y/N).”
You let out a defeated, breathy laugh. “God, you’re such a vicious prick” you tell him, snatching up your purse and sliding off the bar stool. 
Before you can make a beeline out of his apartment, he’s got your arm in his grip that tugs you back to him. “You wanted to fight, finish it.” 
“I think you’re fucking selfish. I think you’re so fucking out of touch with reality that when you do decide to mentally clock in, belittling me is the only opportunity to satisfy you so you can make me feel as miserable as you are. You’re fucking mean, Carmen. Finished. ”
---
He’d grown frustrated by your neglect, finally forming up the courage to show up at your place unannounced after one of his shifts. He’d done this dance with you before knowing it was only going to take him to apologize first to put this fire out.
The moment you opened the door to his sudden knock, he immediately led his ‘apology’ with something along the lines of, “M’sorry for being a dick.” 
To which you would berate, “I’m sorry for ever giving yours attention.” 
“That’s fair.” 
“Fuck off.” 
Wedging his shoe between the doorframe before you have time to fully shut it, he quips out, “Wait.” 
“Past my bedtime. Leave.” 
“Not until you let me conclude with what I came here for.”
“Why should I? You through a temper tantrum for bringing you coffee.”
“I asked you to leave several times.”
“And I fucked off. Like you told me too but look where that got me.” 
“I know, I know..” he trails off, “you’re right.” He confesses.
“Welp, I’m glad we concluded that. Have a nice night Carmen” You tell him, making another attempt to shut the door in his face but he’s too quick to prompt it back open with the strength of his forearm. 
“Let me finish.” 
“Carmen, fuck off.” 
“I have a lot going on.” He blurts out, truthfully. 
“Then don’t punish me for it!” You snap, causing his legs to recoil two steps away from the door and into the hallway from your sudden rage. “Don’t discipline me for something out of my control. I get it, I haven’t experienced the concept of grief, or have the same level of responsibilities and stress load as you, but god Carmen, I’m fucking trying to understand. ” 
“I’m sor-“
“Sorry? How convenient that is for you after you embarrassed me. That’s great Carm, please let me know what I can do with your apology.” 
“You can start by letting me inside.” 
“I’d rather choke on an Italian Beef. Now, Goodnight.” Slamming the door in his face, he’s left alone in the silence of your corridor, no longer feeling like a bear, but more like an abandoned cub.
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The Last Steve Harrington Part 2
AO3 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
Steve came back to consciousness slowly, everything felt fuzzy and dreamlike. The sun was shining in the window and he was lying in a comfortable bed. Caution was ringing in the back of his head but he couldn’t remember why. He hadn’t dreamed. No nightmares. That was wrong, wasn’t it?
“Why am I here?” a familiar voice asked from the hall.
“He kept asking about you,” someone else whispered.
He looked down at his hands, flexed them. An I.V. was stuck in the back of his left hand and he brought it up to his face. His hands were clean. Even the dirt under his fingernails was gone. He took a deep breath and licked his lips. God, he was thirsty. What the fuck happened? Didn’t he die? This didn’t feel like death. He liked the other one better – the one where the kids –
The kids!
He sat up quickly and someone rushed to his side.
Joyce.
A gentle hand pushed his chest into the bed.
“Lay down, Steve,” she said quietly.
“Thirsty,” he said.
Joyce smiled and brought a cup of water with a straw up to his lips. He sipped and swallowed slowly.
“What do you remember?” she asked.
“I died,” he said it like a question. It didn’t seem right but it was the only thing that made sense.
“No, sweetie. You didn’t.”
Steve closed his eyes and drifted for a moment. The window was open and a breeze fluttered the curtains. He had left Hawkins but found a portal. The kids were on the other side. What had Dustin called it?
“Parallel universes,” he whispered to himself and Joyce hummed affirmatively.
“I’m glad El found you, Steve.”
Just then Dustin and Eddie walked into the room. Steve couldn’t breathe. He wasn’t dead which meant that Eddie wasn’t dead either. Fuck. He felt his eyes well up with tears. He looked good. Healthy, if a little confused.
“Eds,” he gasped out.
“Eds?”
“Is that not what I call you here?” Steve asked hesitantly.
“Uh no, strictly last name basis since the whole Vecna thing made us sorta friends?” Eddie replied and Steve’s heart sank.
No. That was wrong. He and Eddie had been inseparable since they were forced to work together at Scoops Ahoy. They had cracked the Russian code and infiltrated the base with Dustin and Erica. When they had been on truth serum, they had come out to each other. Eddie had been so afraid of what Steve’s reaction would be when he told him he was gay. The look on his face when Steve told him he was bisexual was priceless. They had danced around each other for months after that, trauma bonded best friends afraid to ruin what they had by trying for something more. At least on Steve’s end. But Eddie had been braver. Had blurted out his feelings one night after they had finished watching a movie.
Steve fiddled with the guitar pick necklace tucked under his shirt. Eddie noticed where his fingers had gone and stilled at the sight. He pulled his own necklace out of his shirt and stared at it before looking back at Steve with a question in his eyes. Steve didn’t know what to say, how to navigate a parallel universe where the man he loved had just met him before he died.
Steve had begged Vecna to kill him. At the end. With his friends lying dead around him. The last thing Vecna said to him before he took his army and left would haunt Steve forever.
“Your living suffering is sweeter to me than any death I could grant you.”
Even in this new universe, Vecna’s words rang true.
---
Other Steve Harrington was listed as a missing person and had been since the final battle with Vecna. His parents told the police that he had probably skipped town and they weren’t interested in trying to find him. That tracked with something his own parents would have done. With no body or crime scene there was no reason to suspect foul play and a missing person he had remained. Lucky for him, Steve supposed. It would be a lot easier to come back from being missing than being dead. Still, too much to ask for that in this universe he would have loving parents who gave a shit about him. Though… easier, too. He wouldn’t be able to fool loving parents into believing he was their son.
Hopper had given him Other Steve’s wallet and he went through it hoping to find some answers into his life here. Looking at his driver’s license was… strange. The card itself was the same; same address, same license number even… but the picture struck Steve with its otherness. Their faces were the same at first glance, but the smile and eyes – they weren’t his – and it sent shivers down his spine.
Here was a person who had lived a parallel life to his own. But Steve didn’t know how parallel. Did they have the same best friend growing up? Who was his first girlfriend? Boyfriend? Who was he? Steve didn’t know… and he was somehow supposed to just slot himself into his life? Take it over? He knew one fundamental difference between them so far – he was a coward and Other Steve wasn’t. How much that would change everything else, Steve didn’t know.
He kept going through the wallet. There were credit cards and bank cards that were probably useless, a membership card to Family Video, and some cash. Nothing to really go off. As Steve fiddled with the wallet, he found a pocket that held a strip of photos from a photobooth. It started with him and Robin smiling at the camera. The second picture had Dustin crashing into the booth and the third picture had all the kids struggling to get their faces into the frame. They were laughing and smiling chaotically. The back of his throat tightened and he shoved the photo back into the wallet before tossing it onto the table beside him.
He had been in the hospital for a few days, resting and regaining his strength. He had collapsed due to severe exhaustion, dehydration and malnutrition. Joyce and Hopper had managed to keep the kids away but it was only a matter of time before he would have to face them again. He was surprised they hadn’t managed to sneak in already. Joyce kept trying to talk to him, asking questions about himself and his universe but Steve had been silent. He wasn’t used to talking to people and didn’t feel like answering her questions. He knew she meant well but most of the answers weren’t something she would want to hear. They died. We lost. I’ve been alone. He also wasn’t used to her treating him so gently. He hadn’t interacted with his Joyce much and then her and Hopper had died somewhere in Russia.
Loud footsteps echoed in the hall.
“We want to see him, it’s been days!” He heard Dustin yell through the closed door.
“He’s been resting, Dustin. You have no idea what he’s been through,” Joyce replied.
Neither do you, Steve thought.
“Will you ask him if we can visit? Please?” Will asked, always the voice of reason.
The door cracked open and Joyce slid in. She saw that he was awake and had heard what Will wanted. “They’re worried and would like to see you,” she said quietly so they wouldn’t hear.
Steve fiddled with his I.V., unsure.
“You don’t have to, Steve,” she said, sensing his hesitation. She walked over and tried to take his hand but he flinched away.
He swallowed and rasped, “let them in.” He needed to talk to them, but they weren’t going to like what he had to say.
They entered more quietly and respectfully than Steve was expecting. There weren’t enough chairs for them all. Dustin claimed the one right next to his bed and Mike pulled the other one from across the room. El and Max climbed onto the end of his bed, careful not to sit on his legs. Will and Lucas stood behind Dustin and Mike’s chairs.
They all looked at him expectantly. He held his hands together in his lap to keep them from shaking. Looking into their familiar faces was heartbreaking. They weren’t his kids; they weren’t the ones he had failed to protect but he still felt like he owed them an apology anyway.
“We are sorry,” Eleven said, surprising him.
“We shouldn’t have sprung everything on you like that,” Dustin continued. “We were just so excited to see you.”
Steve took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I want you to send me back,” he said.
They were silent for a moment before they started shouting at him.
“Why should you get me?” he asked loudly over them.
They stopped yelling and stared at him.
“What do you mean?” Will questioned; his brow furrowed.
“If I’m really the only Steve left, why should your universe get to keep me? What about all the others who lost their Steve? They just have to live without him? Seems like fate or destiny or whatever is saying that no one should have me.”
“Their Elevens are probably looking, but we found you first,” Dustin said with finality. As if that would be the end of the conversation.
“What about your Steve? I’m supposed to replace him? Take his life like he never existed?”
“We’ll never forget our Steve. We’d like to tell you about him when you’re ready. We don’t want you to replace him, we know that you’re different people. But you’re still Steve in every way that matters. And we still need you,” Max answered looking him square in the eye, daring him to contradict her.
“How do you know?” Steve asked.
“Know what? That we need you?” Dustin looked at him like that was the stupidest question he could have asked.
Steve shook his head. “How do you know I’m ‘Steve’in the ways that matter? You don’t know me. I could be a bad person. I could have been working with Vecna for all you know. Clearly, I’m not like literally all the other Steve’s in existence. Maybe the whole point is that no Steve should have survived and I’m just an anomaly that needs to be put out of his fucking misery. Preferably in his own universe so he can go to whatever afterlife with his fucking family.”
They were quiet after that. He heard Will sniff back tears and his heart clenched tightly in his chest.
“When we finally found you of course we questioned whether or not it was right to bring you here. Our Steve died. We loved him. He was our friend – our family. We owe him everything! So, if you think for one second we were going to leave you there when we found out you were alone then you’re an idiot!” Dustin stood up and yelled.
“Bringing you here. Saving you. It feels like saving a piece of him, too. We are not letting you go. You are Steve Harrington…which means you belong with us,” Eleven said softly.
Dustin sat back down and reached out to place his hand gently on top of Steve’s. He looked down at their hands and then up at Dustin, who smiled hesitantly at him. He couldn’t smile back or take his hand, but he didn’t pull away either. That was all he had to give right now.  
He looked away again, jaw tense and eyes tight. The kids stayed and he eventually drifted off, still feeling Dustin’s warm hand on his.
---
Not a single part of the plan had gone their way and Steve didn’t know what to do. Eleven was down. She had lost consciousness and blood was trickling steadily out of her nose. She had been fighting Vecna and had started thrashing before she went still. Mike was screaming and shaking her. Robin, Nancy, and Jonathon were still throwing Molotov’s at The Mind Flayer but they were quickly running out. He couldn’t see Eddie and Dustin through the swam of bats separating them. There were too many places he needed to be, too many people he needed to protect. Steve froze. He didn’t know what to do.
Steve woke with a start, heart pounding and breath ragged. It was dark in the hospital room but there was enough light from the open window to see Eddie sitting in the chair beside him. He looked as good as he had the day before. Torn black jeans, a faded Metallica shirt and his hair was a messy tangle around his face. It was beautiful and painful to see him in the light of the moon, familiar and foreign in equal measure.
Blood dribbled out of the sides of his mouth; he was trying to speak even though he could barely breathe. His brown eyes were wide with pain, and Steve held him to his chest – 
Steve blinked away the memory and shook his head to clear it.
“Why are you here?” he asked Eddie.  
Eddie didn’t answer, just fiddled with his necklace. He noticed Steve’s eyes on it.  
“It means a lot to me,” he said.
“I know,” Steve said and Eddie made a ‘go for it’ gesture. Hands open wide and eyebrow quirked.
“Wayne gave it to you.” Steve paused and cleared his throat. “Gave it to my Eddie. It was after his parents dropped him off and left. Eds wouldn’t talk to him, no matter what he tried. So, he started playing his guitar… and it drew you–” Steve stopped and growled in frustration. “Drew him out. Wayne started teaching him and when he could play all the scales, he gave him his guitar. He handed him the pick and said, ‘You’re mine now and I’m never leaving you. That’s a promise.’”
Eddie was looking at him with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Well?” Steve demanded. “Is it the same?”
“No,” Eddie replied and Steve knew he wasn’t going to tell him why his necklace was important to him, because he hadn’t earned it. Steve felt another piece of his heart break. This Eddie didn’t know him. Didn’t trust him. He had no relationship with this Eddie, even though he shared a face with the person Steve had loved most in the world.
“Dustin said you want to go back.” Eddie leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
“I do.” It wasn’t a question but Steve answered anyway.
“Losing Steve really messed Dustin up, more so than the others. They all took it hard, but Dustin? He didn’t speak for weeks, barely ate. Steve was his brother and he died in his arms; did you know that?”
Steve shook his head slowly.   
“When El told him about the parallel universes she had found it was the first time Dustin acted like himself since Steve died. But she couldn’t find one of you who bastards who didn’t fucking die saving someone else. And every time, it was like Dustin lost him all over again.”
Steve felt for Dustin, he really did. But their Steve had died saving the world. His death had meaning and purpose. The kids should be proud of that and move on. Steve didn’t have anything to ease his conscious or heartache. He had lost everything, and there was no meaning to it and only Steve left alive to remember.
Eddie was talking to him like he didn’t know grief, like he didn’t know what it felt like to lose a brother, and it really pissed him off. The anger Steve felt was delicious in its righteousness. Eddie thought he knew loss? Thought Dustin knew loss? What they felt was nothing but a spring breeze compared to the tornado that was Steve’s torment. He had lost everyone.
“I don’t know you and I don’t trust you,” Eddie said, echoing Steve’s earlier thoughts, “but you better not hurt those kids any more than you already have. I can appreciate that this is hard for you, but you do not take it out on them. Understood?”
Oh, he could appreciate that this was hard for him? Steve was done. He had Eddie’s face but he wasn’t Eds.
“How about fuck you, Munson,” Steve spit out.
Eddie leaned back in his chair, shocked by the vitriol of Steve’s reply.
He recovered quickly and sneered. “Well look at King fucking Steve, back again and not caring about anyone but himself.”
“Who the fuck is King Steve?”
Eddie blinked at him, clearly at a loss. Steve glared back.
“What about Steve ‘the Hair’ Harrington?” Eddie asked and Steve couldn’t help the snort that escaped his lips.
“That’s a stupid nickname.”
Eddie looked even more confused now.
“What were you like in high school?”
It was Steve’s turn to blink at Eddie, anger fizzling somewhat at the out of nowhere questions.
“Why would I answer you? Don’t let the door hit you on your way out,” he said and jerked his head towards the door.
Eddie’s eyes were deep brown pools as he looked intently at Steve, analyzing him, searching for something. Steve didn’t back down and held his gaze. He didn’t know what Eddie saw, but his eyes softened, just a little, before he turned and left the room. As soon as he was gone, the rest of Steve’s anger abandoned him and he dropped his head back against the pillows.
What the fuck was he doing?
Steve's eyes burned and he finally let out the tears that had been threatening to fall since he woke up in the hospital. He held his hands up to his mouth as his sobs broke free and brought his knees up to his chest, letting himself curl into his grief.
Part 3
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