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radianhazbin · 4 years

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Not all demons have a rainbow in their heart

Authors note: This story is very graphic, and may not be suitable for every reader. Also, this was my first fanfiction, that I’ve ever wrote on Hazbin Hotel, and it was the first fanfic that I’ve wrote since around 2 years. Even I don’t like it that much. But right now, I sadly have no time and/or ideas to write a new one. But soon, I will be writing all over the place again :)

Also also, this story doesn’t stay true to the HH lore to the end. So because of that one little detail, I will say it’s an AU, even if it’s just that one single thing that’s changed.

So, after all of this, I hope you will still enjoy this fanfiction!

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It was early morning in the Hazbin Hotel. It has been two days after the defeat of Sir Pentious, and since the Radio Demon, Alastor, moved into the Hotel. Charlie woke up to the red sunbeams that shined through the window of her room. She rolled around, and noticed, that Vaggie was still asleep next to her. She gave her a kiss on the cheek, rolled around to the other side of the bed, and slowly stood up. One stretch later, the young princess found herself in the bathroom of the small apartment. After washing her face, and getting ready for the day, she smiled to her reflection in the mirror.

“Maybe today. Hell is a big place after all. Someone will check in eventually.” She said to herself with confidence.

She opened the door to the corridor, looked back one last time, to see her girlfriend, still asleep. Charlie smiled, and silently closed the door behind her. She walked down the small, cranky staircase into the Lobby of the Building. She stepped into the large room, and looked around. Husk was blackout drunk at the bar, and lied unconscious on the counter, with a bottle of cheap booze in his right hand. Angel was asleep on the couch, with one half of his feminine body hanging from the side. And Niffty was… Somewhere. Charlie had no idea where she could be sleeping. Or even if she needed any sleep at all. The only other figure that was missing was the Radio Demon Alastor. But to be honest, the young girl was quite relieved to not see him anywhere.

“Goooood morning darling!” Screamed a voice from behind her. It sounded like an old timey radio. She turned around in an instant, and saw the gigantic grin of the Radio Demon, just inches away from her face. She stepped back before answering with a slightly shaky voice: “Good morning Alastor. How was your sleep?” She asked while turning around again, to open the front door.

“Ohhh, just magnificent! Thank you, young lady!” he jumped in front of her, stopping Charlie in her way, “And how was your rest?” He asked her, while bowing down, to be on eye level with the girl.

“Good, thanks”, she replied, while carefully stepping around him.

She made her way to the front door, while Alastor still tried to talk to her.

“Are you awaiting any guests, my darling? Or will this be another boring day?” he interrogated her.

“You still don’t believe in me, do you?”

“Well, of course not! Once a demon, always a demon!”

Charlie left out a disappointed sigh.

“Not all demons are inherently evil. And I will prove it to you soon enough!” she called out.

“Well that’s what I call passionate! Although I would call it naive too! Maybe even stupid!”

“You can think what you want.” Charlie muttered to herself.

Soon she stood in front of the big entrance to the Hazbin Hotel. She took the silver keys out of her pocket, and unlocked the door. The heavy glass door slowly swung open, and from one moment to the other, a slim and shady creature stood before her. It was around twice as high as Charlie, and wore a long, oak brown coat, that hid almost its entire body. She slowly looked up, flying past his black, shimmering shoes, the long coat that was buttoned up just above his waist, and up to his chest, where she could make out a white shirt beneath the mantle. And finally, she saw his head. A human like face with pale skin. His hair was tousled, and the right half of his face was covered in bandages. He looked down at Charlie.

“You’re the girl from the news.” He said with a very monotone, and deep voice.

“Y-Yes.” Charlie muttered out.

“I heard demons can get.. Rehabilitated in this place. A chance to leave hell.”

“Y-You heard right!” she said enthusiastically.

“Can I check in?”

“O-Of course you can!” she screamed out. Her face, went from scared to happy within seconds.

She quickly stepped around him, and threw her arm around the figure.

“Husk! Wake up you drunk idiot! We've got a guest!” she screamed across the room, to wake up the drunk demon.

“Huh? What the fuck?”, he mumbled, with his gritty and rough voice, while slowly lifting his head up from the counter.

“Hmm, don’t scream like that. Some people are trying to sleep.”, Angel complained while rolling around, turning his face away from the room and into the soft pillow of the couch.

“Well, that’s something new. A customer!”, screamed Alastor out in surprise.

“He’s a guest.” Charlie corrected him. “Our first guest of many more to come! I’m so happy!” She let go of the man, and danced a quick pirouette in the middle of the room, never losing her grin, that went from ear to ear.

“I saw your little song in the news, but I assumed you would just play a role. Are you always this disgustingly happy?”, the man asked grim.

“Uhm, yes! I mean,” she hesitated, and played with her fingers, while she tried to think of something to say. “You’re our first guest! I’m just a little nervous.”

With a grunt, the man proceeded to walk to the counter, where Husk was slowly sobering up.

“Urgh, name?”, the still drunk demon asked.

“Caleb.”, the tall man answered.

“Here. Room 104. Welcome to the…” Husk began to think. Snipping his fingers, to desperately find the name of the hotel he was working at.

“To the Hazbin Hotel!”, Charlie screamed and swung her arms wide open.

“What’s with the screaming down here?”, a female voice questioned into the lobby. It was Vaggie, who was coming downstairs, while rubbing her right eye.

“Vaggie! You wouldn’t believe it!”, Charlie jumped around her girlfriend, grabbing her by the waist, and pointing with an open hand towards the first guest of the Hazbin Hotel.

“I introduce you to Caleb!” She turned her head and closed the gap between hers and Vaggie’s eyes. “Isn’t this awesome?!” she asked, still overly excited.

“I guess so.”, Vaggie turned away, and slowly moved towards the big figure.

“So, Caleb. What brought you to the Hotel?”, she asked while crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Caleb, who didn’t even looked at her yet, replied: “Salvation, I guess. I’m tired of this shit down here. The screaming, the death, the suffering. So I thought that I maybe give it a-”, he turned his head, and stopped in the middle of his sentence, when he saw Vaggie for the first time. “try.”, he finished.

“Is something wrong?”, she curiously asked.

“No. You just-”, a short pause, “reminded me of someone.”

“Really? And who would that be?”, she interrogated him.

“Nobody you would know. I think.”, he said, while undressing his coat, and hanging it onto the dresser.

“Well, maybe we should get to know each other better?”, Charlie proposed, “So Caleb, my name is Charlie, aaaaaand, I run this whole thing. This is my girlfriend Vaggie-”, she pointed at the girl, who still had her arms crossed, and looked at Caleb with an disgusted face, “This is Husk. He’s our bartender and welcomer.”, Charlie lost energy in the last word, when she saw, that Husk was unconscious again. “Anyway! We also have Niffty, who I didn’t find anywhere yet, but is around here somewhere! She’s our housekeeping, so to speak, hehe.”, Charlie let out a nervous laughter. “And this-”, she moved her hand in Alastor’s direction, “Is Alastor!”

“The fucking Radio Demon?!”, Caleb screamed out in fear, “Are you fucking kidding me, girl?!”

“Ohh, don’t worry my big friend! I have nothing evil in mind! I just like to watch Charlie’s dreams getting destroyed and eaten by an vicious demon!”, Alastor screamed out happily.

“Interesting choice of words, Alastor.”, Angel pointed out, while slowly getting up from the couch.

“Uhm, and this is Angel dust he’s our… Uhm-”, Charlie tried to find the right words. “Hotel whore.”, he finished her sentence, “For just a little amount of money, I can make you feel, real good.”, he whispered, while rubbing against Caleb’s shoulder.

“Uhm, yeah, no. Thank you, kiddo.”, he refused.

“Your loss.”, Angel said smiling, while going back to his couch.

“So. Are we getting started? And if so, how exactly?”, Caleb questioned Charlie.

“Well.. We can start right now! If you want to.”, she explained

“Great.”, he replied.

Charlie, moved him upstairs, into a small room, where they sat down at a small table. She moved an old, dusty, armchair onto one end of the wooden table, and a clunky wooden chair onto the other. Charlie sat down on the wooden chair, Caleb settled in the armchair.

“So, why are you in hell?”, Charlie asked.

“I don’t know. I guess because I killed some girls back in the 60’s. You know, drove next to them, at night, offered a lift, then kidnapped them, took them home, killed and ate them.”, he explained.

Charlie cramped up in her seat, still a smile on her face, but visually scared.

Caleb continued: “I never raped them tho. I’m not that kind of sicko. Just a clean kill. Fine, maybe a little bit of torture here and there, you know? But only on the ones I didn’t like. And then the usual. Cutting them open, sometimes they were still alive at that point!”, he let out a small laughter, “Ahh, but then I would exempt the body, cut out the brain, ate the heart raw, and the rest I kept in my freezer for later. But the heart… Yeah.. You have to eat that raw.”, he drifted away, “That taste of someone who lived sheer moments ago is just… Incredible.”, he proceeded to explain. “But I’m getting off topic. Well, I didn’t really have any use for the bones, so I usually just hid them in the woods. The skin made really good clothing, and the rest was all edible. But then one day… Some bitch ratted me out. She could escape and tell the cops, before I could finish her off. I got cocky and didn’t torture her enough. I mean, I cut out her left eye, and debreasted her.. But the blood loss wasn’t enough. She managed to run away, and tell the cops. And what did I do? Huh. Followed her, and rammed my hatched into her back, right in front of the officer hahaha! Well, he shot me 3 times in the head.”, he finished.

Charlie still scared and cramped up in her chair, slowly calmed down, and sat down normally again.

“A-Alright… Hehe, uhm…”, she struggled to find her words, “How did you feel, when you commited the murders?”

“I felt alive. I loved it. And I would do it again any time!”

“Oh… Okay. I Didn’t expect that answer, but… We will get there! We will make you a good boy again! Don’t worry! You will be out of here, in no time!”, she assured him with a smile.

The night came quickly. Charlie trained the entire day with Caleb. She tried to give him something else to eat, trained him to be nice to people, and to cook something else than human flesh. But when the night came, and the hotel went to bed, it showed, that maybe, not in every demon is a rainbow in their heart.

The door slowly opened, and what followed where big, clunky steps. Charlie was sleeping tightly, next to her girlfriend, and didn’t notice, the large shadow, that lied itself over the two. The creature stepped around the bed, onto Vaggie’s side.

“You fucking bitch.”, he whispered to himself.

Vaggie slowly opened her eyes, and saw the man standing in front of her.

“Caleb? What’s going on?”, she asked, while rubbing her right eye.

He didn’t say a word. He instantly jumped down, and pressed a tissue with a substance into her face. She resisted for a few seconds, before falling unconscious. Caleb looked onto the other side of the bed, and saw, that Charlie was still sleeping. He looked down at Vaggie again.

“Now you’ll get, what you fucking deserve.”

he dragged her out of the bed, downstairs, deeper into the basement of the hotel. He tied her up, and threw her on the ground. She woke up just seconds after.

“Huh? What the fuck? Where am I?!”, she screamed at the man.

“You thought I forgot? You fucking bitch brought me down here!”, he screamed, while kicking into Vaggie’s stomach. She coughed in pain.

“What the fuck are you talking about, asshole?!”, she yelled at him.

“What do you think, woman?!”, he grabbed the bandages on his head, and ripped them right off, revealing three holes in his skull. “You did this to me!”, he accused her.

Then it slowly came back to Vaggie. Why she was down here in hell. She remembered the face. She remembered the pain she felt, when her eye got removed from her skull. When her breasts were ripped off without a warning, and the pain she felt, when the hatched slammed into her back.

“You…”, she whimpered. “You son of a bitch! You’re him! You’re this asshole who killed me!”, she tried to jump up, and tackle him, but without any luck. She only managed to get onto her knees, what Caleb used to kick her right in the face.

She fell to the ground again, with a bleeding nose, and tears in her eyes. Then she heard the unseathing of knife.

“Get the fuck away from me!”, Vaggie crawled back slowly, but soon hit a damp wall.

“No running away this time, bitch.”, he stated, and shortly after, he jumped down.

He stabbed her belly numerous times, over and over again. Blood was spilling out of every hole in the women's body. She screamed for help, but nobody came. She was going to die in this basement. It was going dark, very dark. She saw the face of Charlie in front of her, smiling, being happy.

“I love you Charlie.”, she said with her last dying breath, before she closed her eyes. Forever.

Caleb stepped up, and examined his work. Vaggie’s body lied before him. Covered in blood. He bowed down, and dragged the body back into the middle of the room. He untied her arms and legs, and began to cut open her stomach, when he heard a voice from the outside.

“Vaggie? Where are you? Are you okay?”

It was Charlie. But the man had no time to think of a plan. His clothes were drenched in the blood of the young women too, and before he could really think of anything, the basement door swung open.

“Vaggie? I heard screaming and-”, she abruptly stopped when she walked into the scene of the murder.

“V-Vaggie?”, she asked out of breath. Tears began to form within her eyes, when she walked towards the body, with shaking legs.

“V-Vaggie? Please, answer?”, she whimpered out. Then she looked at the person beside the body.

“C-Caleb… What have you? Why have you? I can’t… Wha….”, she couldn’t find any words to describe what was going on inside her head. She fell to her knees, and soon, the tears, began to fall. She was crying and sobbing, with a hanging head, while Caleb slowly stood up.

“Well. I guess you were wrong, hehe. Some demons don’t have a Rainbow in their heart. You’re truly pathetic. Thinking this stupid hotel would change anyone. I wasted my entire day, trying to win your trust. Damn, I’m almost as stupid as you are!”, he laughed out loud.

“You didn’t… This isn’t happening…”, Charlie cried.

“Oh, you better believe it. What did you expect? We’re in hell! This relationship wouldn’t have worked anyway. You should thank me!”, he pointed out.

“You son of a bitch.”, she whispered.

“Uhm, I’m sorry, what now?”

“You son of a bitch! I will fucking kill you!!!”, She jumped up, and ran with full speed at the gigantic monster. He readied up his knife, trusting, that in her blind anger, she would just ran straight into it. But when she closed in, the knife just shattered on her skin. The shards of the blade rained down on the ground, when in the next moment, he felt an unbelievable pain in his face. He flew across the room, and slammed against the rear wall. Caleb shook his head, wondering what just happened. Then he turned around and saw Charlie running towards him. She jumped on top of him, and punched him in the face, over and over and over again, until his head resembled nothing more than a mashed potato.

Charlie let her head sink down again. She looked at her hand, which was dripping with the blood of the murderer of her girlfriend.

“You son of a bitch.”, she whispered to his body.

She slowly got up, turned around and carefully walked towards Vaggie’s body.

“V-Vaggie?”

No reaction.

“It’s me, Charlie. We can go back to sleep now.”, she whimpered under tears, but still trying to set up a smile.

“Come on, wake up. We can even have some fun if you want to.”

Charlie stood next to the open body of her girlfriend. She kneeled down, and lifted her head up from the ground and rested it on her thighs. Charlie slowly stroke through the hair of her lost love.

“I love you, Vaggie.”, she cried, “I’m sorry. It was my fault.”, she said, while her tears fell down to Vaggie’s face, rolled down her cheeks, and dripped off into the puddle of blood that had collected on the ground.

She failed. She was wrong. Because,

Not all demons, have a Rainbow in their Heart.

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So, now I want to say thanks to @nightsoulvixen for hosting Varlie week! I enjoyed it quite a bit, and hope, that something like this will be hosted again in the near future! :)

#hazbin hotel #charlie magne #hazbin charlie #vaggie #hazbin vaggie #chaggie #varlie #varlie week #varlieweek #otp #otps #fanfic

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solarbird · 6 years

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Old Soldiers, Chapter 17: do not hold any of it back

I'm writing this thing and even I'm being surprised at how much Pharmacy milage is in this chapter.

[AO3 link]

Fareeha read the letter again, face grim, shaking a little, enraged. How dare she. How dare she?!

"Angela! Come here, please!" she called into the other room. This will have to go to all of Overwatch, but... she should know, first.

"Fareeha? Are you all right? You sound..." Her wife leaned around the doorframe and saw that, in fact, her wife was tightly, rigidly angry. "Oh, no. What is it, liebchen?"

"Come here, and hold me, while you read this."

Angela stepped quickly forward to the flying agent's chair and wrapped her arms around her neck, reading over her shoulder. "...I... I... this has to go to the entire team."

"I know. I wanted you to see it first."

"Do not hold any of it back, send it unedited."

"That is not why." The Egyptian turned in her chair to face her wife. "I've decided. I will do it. I want to do it, now. How long will it take to prepare a set of nanites for me?"

Angela gasped, and covered her mouth with her left hand, her heart leaping, and she stepped half a step back, then threw herself around her wife, holding her tight, so tight, so unready for that declaration. "I... That is not the reaction I..."

Fareeha held her wife gently, pulling her head against her strong shoulders, her eyes closed, brushing her fingers through her wife's hair. "I know."

"But... why? I am..." The doctor took a long, deep breath, and pulled back. "I... have committed a serious ethical lapse - it was not my first - and ... I have wanted this for too long. I, I have to be sure. I have to know. You are not doing this just to spite your mother?"

Fareeha laughed, a little bitterly. "No."

"Have I put pressure on you? Have I been..."

Fareeha chuckled and smiled. "No."

"Then... why? Why now?"

Her wife grew quite sombre, quite quickly. "I..." She pursed her lips and looked at the floor, and did not speak for a moment, and then not for another moment, and not for another moment after that. She covered her eyes with her hands, then covered her entire face, sliding her palms slowly down, collecting her thoughts. Softly, looking up, but to the distance, she began, "I was always taught life had phases, and that it mattered to go through all of them." She bit her lip. "That they all have a purpose. That everything has a time, and a place, and that all the phases of life are equally valuable, in different ways. Part of that is... that age brings wisdom."

"I do not disagree," said her wife, softly.

"Mother - Ana - believed in that, particularly. That the wisdom of age is important to humanity. That there is value - and knowledge - in understanding the decay of time, in understanding" - she looked at her own strong arms, and her own strong hands - "that this does not endure."

Angela Ziegler nodded, and her expression subtly changed, as her thoughts raced ahead of her wife's speech.

"I have lived long enough to understand that, at least, a little. But - if she... if this is what she calls wisdom..." She glared back to the screen, with its softly glowing text, anger in her eyes. "This is not wisdom, it is insanity." Her gaze whipped back to her wife, and she looked deep into her eyes. "Is this what awaits me in old age? This... paranoia? This capriciousness? This... madness? I will have no part of it. I beg you to save me from this."

Angela met her wife's sight, falling into the dark pools of her eyes, reaching across to her wife, touching her cheek and chin and hair. "I have wanted nothing more in my life." She closed her own eyes, for a moment, and opened them again. "But ... I have to do this correctly."

"Whatever this is," she gestured to the text on the display, "it is not genetic. If it is environmental, it is not in you. You carry nothing that makes this inevitable, or even likely. I do not know what has happened to your mother, but ... I do not think, not even for a moment, that you would share her fate."

Fareeha nodded. "Good." Slowly, she looked down again, contemplating Angela's declaration carefully for seconds, then for a minute, then for another, before looking back up. "But it doesn't change my decision. The only reason - the only true reason - I have said no, is my belief in what she taught me." She reached over, and touched the display, with its texts, with its threat. "I no longer have good cause to think it has value."

"I'm sorry," said her wife. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm not," said her lover. "Illusions do not suit me." She shrugged. "Besides, it's not like you can't turn the nanites off."

"No," acknowledged the doctor. "But they will begin repairs immediately. You will lose your scars, over a period of weeks. They are part of your life, your experience, and they will fade completely, over time."

The younger soldier nodded. "They are mostly hidden, anyway."

"Not from me," smiled the doctor. "I treasure them, as they are a part of you."

The flying officer snorted. "They hurt in rainy weather, you know that. They bother me every time we visit my father. This one, in particular," she pointed to the left side of her ribcage, "I will be most glad to see this one gone."

"You will look younger. Not very much, but somewhat. Overwatch ignores it, in me - but they may not, in a field soldier. In you."

"I will demonstrate to them that I do not care what they think."

"Then you are absolutely sure?"

"Yes," she said, mind clearly made up. "I have no idea what it takes to start the process. If I could take the first dose, receive the first infusion, whatever the procedure might be - if I could do it right now, this very instant, I would."

"You're sure."

"Yes."

"Right now."

"Yes."

Angela laughed, just a little - "I have been waiting to do this for so long..." - and sat in her wife's lap, and kissed her, breathlessly, tightly, hard. Her lips tingled against her wife's, like electrics, but without the shock, and Fareeha felt her pulse quicken, and it felt to the rocketeer almost as if their hearts were moving into sync as the electrics moved across her skin, and her eyes widened as the low, persistent, ignored ache in her left shoulder faded, and she realised... Now. And she pulled her wife against her, harder, and they kissed until neither could avoid breaking away for a breath, as hard as they fought against it, and so they broke away, both panting, both shaking, just a little.

"That... was not what I expected... in a nanite delivery system." She laughed, in little huffs, feeling somehow light, somehow bubbly, all over. "But I approve of it."

Her wife took a deep breath, giggling throughout, no, more than that, but she did not have words for the kind of burbling elation running through her mind. "I," she laughed, "I thought it would be a gift on our honeymoon, but I've kept it to myself until you were ready... I am so happy... but... how do you feel?"

The Egyptian laughed, and pulled her wife back against her body. "I feel, doctor, like I need another dose."

Angela grinned broadly, eyes alight like stars. "You don't, but - isn't it convenient I just happen to have one ready?" She leaned in, and they kissed again, 'till nothing else mattered at all.

Two hours later, Fareeha forwarded Ana's message to the rest of Overwatch, flagged "Mission Critical - Urgent," recommending most strongly that regular Embassy staff be warned, that Swiss and UN authorities be notified, and that Athena step up security on all exterior access points. "If Ana Amari has decided to play it like this," she said, in her forward, "we need to take her seriously. I will do what I can to talk her back to sensibility, but this is a threat, and it should be treated as such. And so, unfortunately, should she."

-----

Venom ignored her mail. Venom often ignored her mail, particularly her Overwatch mail, when she wasn't at Overwatch, when she wasn't playing Tracer. Venom liked not being in charge - despite being on Talon's executive council - and while at Overwatch, if push came to shove, she was in charge, and she knew it. But she couldn't keep ignoring Winston forever, no matter how much she didn't feel like talking to him, and so, eventually, she didn't.

The assassin hit [Acknowledge Signal] on her padd, and jumped in first, saying, "Fine," exasperation in her voice. "I'm here. First things first tho', did Angela tell you..."

"Check your mail. Right now. I'll wait."

Lena glared, angry again. "No. First. Did Angela tell you what happened?"

"Yes," said the scientist, "We know. The whole team. We know all of it, I'm pretty sure. She offered her resignation, I refused to accept it. Lena, check your mail right now. It's important."

Lena looked sideways at Winston, anger in her eyes, but pulled up her Overwatch mail in another window. "That's quite the thread you've... got..." She blinked. "...oh."

The scientist nodded. "That's why I haven't been letting you cool down. I'm sorry, but you can see why."

"Wow," said the Talon assassin. "This is bad." She read Ana's mail - and Fareeha's commentary and recommendations - again. Or maybe, she thought to herself, it's good. Maybe now they'll just step aside. She looked back towards Winston. "Do you know what this means?"

"Fareeha is trying to talk to her. No luck so far, but she's still trying."

"Do you know what this means? Winston, I need to know."

"...yes. I do."

"Good." She sighed and shook her head. "I tried, luv. I really did. I could've solved this weeks ago. But I was nice, and I played it your way... and look where it's got us."

"We don't know that. And I don't like your way of handling these things. I'll never like it, and I'll never not prefer our way, and I'll never stop insisting we get first shot, when it's our jurisdiction. But..." he looked down and to his left. "You had a right to know about this mail. Even if I knew how you'd react. Even if I knew what you'd do."

You made sure I was informed, the assassin realised. You didn't delete the mail. You even called my attention to it. She breathed. Bloody hell, this has to be hard on you.

Lena's face softened a little, and she smiled a sad smile. "Thanks, big guy." She closed her eyes. "I need to talk to Angela - using my codes. I'll drop a new set of keys in the usual place; she'll need access to that drop, or you'll need to ferry the files." She looked back at her old friend. "Will you do that for me?"

The ambassador nodded, deciding not to ask why. "I will."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You're glad you've got a reason."

Venom snorted. "Fair cop. I really am sorry, though. Not for what we're gonna do, but for how hard it is on ya."

"This is not the first time I've had to be a little complicit... but it may be the most difficult."

Lena nodded. "I didn't want..." Damn you, Morrison - do you have to destroy everything you touch? "I didn't want to put you in that position again. That's all."

"Look, Lena," said the scientist. "Just don't go out of your way. Not with Ana. I know what Jack's done, that's one thing, but Ana..." he said miserably, "Do what you have to, just... don't be extra about it. Can you at least do that for me, if not for Fareeha? Please?"

The Talon agent thought about it, hard. If we can get the video, if we can get that damned gun of hers before she hands off imagery... then she's just another batty old conspiracy theorist who doesn't make any sense. And we don't risk losing Pharah. She gave Winston a dubious look - the most dubious of looks - and set her upper lip, but nodded, just a little. "I'll try. No promises."

"None expected," he said, knowing it was the best he'd get.

She pressed a few buttons on her padd. "I've dropped new codes for Angela. You'll relay 'em?"

"She'll have them in a few minutes."

"Thanks, big guy. For all of it, but... particularly for not trying to hide this from me."

"These were colleagues of mine once, Lena. Yours, as well. Don't make me regret this any more than I already do. Please."

"Gloves off, luv. We're gonna do what's needed." She shook her head, and tapped the tabletop in front of her. "But I'll do my best t' keep it to that."

"Thank you."

"Thank me when it's over - if y'still want to. Y'may not. But right now..." She put her hands on the table. "I need to debrief my team."

"Good luck," Winston said, "...I think."

Lena smiled, ruefully. "Best I'll get?"

"Best I've got to give. Winston out."

#pharmercy #phamercy #talon!tracer #widowtracer #tracemaker #overwatch #venom #overwatch au #fareeha amari #angela ziegler #pharah #overwatch mercy #ethically questionable mercy #also on ao3

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mercurialsmile · 6 years

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Limbo is a Legend/Once Upon a Time Trilogy Update

I’ve been meaning to write one of these oops.

I am gonna be 100% honest: haven’t been working on LiaL since like... September. Early September. Mainly due to mental illness, writer’s block, real life in general, aaaand working on other projects (AKA my original novels, prepping for NaNo, and now officially NaNo).

I am still kinda stuck on chapter 3. Good news: I got some great feedback for it by a friend so I have a starting point to go back to and fix it. Bad News: NaNo is here and I also hate rewriting things and still need to figure some shit out!!

More bad news: Rewriting is. Harder than I thought. It’s hard to follow what I put in the original draft of the story when it comes to emotions due to the fact that a lot of things have changed. In general, it’s hard to write emotions for me, especially due to mental fuckery a lot of the times, and I am scared that I am not writing good enough chapters with enough content and am worried about the pace of said emotions and. I scream. It’s basically all screaming into the void.

Another issue: When I originally wrote LiaFT I had. Different views on certain things and in general was a lot healthier mentally than I am now. My views on certain things (AKA Dipper and Bill’s age difference/experience difference) have changed in the past two years, making writing the OUaTT difficult. I can’t really go back and fix LiaFT at this point as. Yeah. Can’t. Impossible. Not really feasible. The entire plot of LiaFT is revolved around Dipper’s flaw of nativity. Making him an adult would make the plot make no sense.

Second issue: I don’t really... ship BillDip anymore? I mean I kinda ship Tad/Bill/Dipper but that’s about. It. Really. It’s all gone lukewarm. And the thing is, the series in itself is based around BillDip. People read LiaFT because it was BillDip. Taking away that ship is unfair to every reader out there who enjoys that ship and would also kinda destroy the target audience of this fic (AKA BillDip shippers). Because people who don’t really like/ship BillDip won’t wade through LiaFT to get to non-BillDip sequels and the people who read LiaFT won’t read sequels that don’t have BillDip. As such, I can’t really change the pairing or take it out or anything at this point.

So. As you can see. I am stuck. In everything. Hrm.

Plus, it’s a huge. Mental toll rewriting 150,000 words believe it or not. Especially when said words are already out to the public. People expect... something better than before obviously and have the old fic to compare to the new fic once said new fic is actually out. It’s a point of stress for me.

And then my opinions on my own writing change by the day. One day, I’m okay I suppose, the next day I am utter shit, and then nah I’m actually pretty great after that. It’s dizzying.

So what does this mean?

Well. For one: this fic series won’t be finished until literally no one is into BillDip anymore at the rate I am going and when all interest is dead.

Two: It’s taking me SO much longer due to.... lots of what I think are reasonable excuses.

Now, some positive to end this post: I do think, for the most part as of right now, I am stuck on a hump, per say. Usually, once I get past humps like this, things are a bit easier. Furthermore, a good chunk of the later chapters don’t need to be rewritten totally, but merely edited, which is a LOT easier as you can imagine. Really, the only chapters that needed to be fully rewritten are roughly chapters 2-16/17/18 or so, give or take. Which is still a lot, mind you (15/16/17 chapters) but that’s just roughly half if not a little more than the entire actual fic length (which is 30 chapters now).

So basically what I am saying: After I get past writing these hellish first chapters, things will go faster. Thing is, NaNo is here and stealing all my focus, I got a first draft novel manuscript to (heavily) edit in December (that’s not related to NaNo), and I am also still workin’ on Icarus and on and off on the BAP AU plus other minor shits.

I’ll try ‘n cut out the BAP AU a little to work on LiaL. I’m rushin’ to finish Icarus to get it out of the way and it’s over halfway done. I can work on multiple novels (writing-wise) at the same time (tho not during NaNo!)

I plan on returning to LiaL in December. Hopefully, real life won’t get in my way, and I’ll be able to sit down and get over this hump and finish writing the rest of it out.

And that’s my stupid fuckin’ long awaited update! Hell yeah! I’m a disappointment! I’ll get there eventually maybe I’m just fuckin’ slow as shit!

#important #BillDip #OuaTT #LiaL #once upon a time trilogy #limbo is a legend #update #treeangle

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starlightscas · 7 years

Text

hitting on you - chapter 3

haha guESS who’s back and finally updated. I’m sorry it took so long. you can find a more detailed explanation on ao3 why this took me so long. I hope you enjoy! a huge thank you to @julieseven and @towonderland72 for betaing, and to @shakespeare-and-sunshine, @skamskada and my girl @isakje for being the greatest cheerleaders in the world <3

[ao3]

When Isak woke up the next morning, he had probably the biggest headache of his entire life. He could barely move or, more so, didn’t want to. He reached for his phone but immediately regretted it when the screen was too bright in his dark room. After his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw that he had a message from Even and, of course, the boys. He checked Even’s text first.

(09:28) Even: good morning. hope your hangover isn’t too bad. looking forward to today

Isak looked down at his phone comically. There was one thing he was certain of now: Even was out of his mind. After everything that had happened, he still wanted to meet up with him? Isak knew that he was good at charming people - Magnus had told him several times - but he didn't know he was that good. It took skill to make a guy stay after you punched him in the face and he watched you get kissed by someone else

(12:03) Isak: I’m dying

(12:11) Even: that sounds a little dramatic, doesn’t it

(12:12) Isak: it’s the truth tho. don’t think I can make it today

(12:12) Even: are you for real?

(12:13) Isak: no, but I still feel like dying

(12:13) Even: haha go take a shower and when you’re ready, I’ll come get you. Maybe coffee will help

(12:14) Isak: coffee won’t help with a hangover tho

(12:14) Even: but maybe seeing me will

(12:16) Isak: that was so cheesy, it’s not even the alcohol anymore that makes me want to throw up

(12:16) Even: hey!

(12:17) Isak: it probably won’t make the hangover better but it will definitely make my day better

(12:17) Even: who’s the cheesy one now

(12:19) Isak: shut up, I’m going to take a shower now.

(12:19) Even: have fun

(12:20) Isak: thank you very much, I will

(12:20) Even: ohhh I bet you will

(12:22) Isak: oh my god you are insufferable. I hope you know that

(12:22) Even: oh yeah I do, believe me

(12:23) Isak: good

(12:25) Even: go take your shower now

Isak replied by sending a thumb up emoji, then checked the group chat. He wasn’t even surprised to read messages like “Are you okay?”, “What happened last night?”, “We only saw you leave with Even. Everything okay?”, “Please text us as soon as you read this” but neither did he have the energy to explain everything nor did he want to think about what happened last night. Sure, the part where he talked to Even in the park was nice but the part where he blew Emma off wasn’t something he wanted to remember. Isak typed a short “I’m fine, don’t worry” and locked his phone again, throwing it next to him on his bed. Afterwards, he got up slowly, his head hurting with the movement more than he thought was possible. “I will never drink again, Jesus Christ,” he mumbled to himself as he was walking towards the bathroom languidly.

It had happened too often to him. Opening Snapchat because he wanted to send a picture of something that reminded him of his friends to them but it was the front camera facing him. Every time, he got frightened by himself and was terrified if he actually was that ugly. And this was how Isak felt when he entered the bathroom and saw himself in the mirror for the first time that day. “Fuck, I look like trash,” he said, squinting at his own reflection. He had bags under his eyes and he looked even more exhausted than he actually felt. Having a shower was probably the best thing he could do right now.

Isak got out of his clothes and turned on the tap. Since the water took forever to get warm, he had to wait for a few minutes, quite literally freezing his ass off (the temperature in the bathroom itself wasn’t that high either), before he could get in. As soon as the hot water hit his skin, he sighed contently. The shower was doing wonders for him and he felt immediately more alive. He lost track of time, and eventually his skin started getting wrinkly, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to get out just yet, but he knew he couldn’t stay in there forever. After rinsing out the rest of his shampoo, he grabbed a towel and put it around his waist. His entire body was dripping, making the floor wet, which caused him to almost slip. But luckily, he got a hold of the sink and cursed to himself. This day was already starting out great.

Before he left the bathroom, Isak checked if anyone was around to see him. He didn’t want a rerun of what had happened a few weeks ago when he was done showering. Isak had left the bathroom in a hurry but tripped over his own feet and conveniently lost the towel from around his waist. He had been quick enough to snatch it before it fell on the floor but the damage had already been done and he could hear a “Nice ass!” and laughter from behind him. When Isak turned around, the towel in its rightful place again, he saw Eskild down the hallway who wiggled his eyebrows at him suggestively. The pure horror on his face was replaced by annoyance and he let out an irritated groan. “Fuck off, Eskild,” was his only reply while he made his way towards his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Weeks of teasing and bragging about how good Isak’s butt looked had followed, and he had tried to avoid his friend as much as possible. Sure, he liked his roommate and they got along pretty well but he was also a fucking pain in the ass sometimes (no pun intended). Eventually, he told himself that Eskild was just jealous and he got over it. Didn’t mean he wanted to repeat the whole thing, though. So after realizing that no one seemed to be within reach, he bolted out of the bathroom, trying to get to his bedroom as fast as possible. Looking down at his own body, he thankfully found that the towel was still where it belonged.

Isak flopped down on his bed and reached for his phone, checking yet again for any new messages. The guys were, of course, spamming in the group chat, demanding to know what had happened last night, but Even hadn’t texted him again. Which made sense, considering the other boy was awaiting a message from him.

(12:59) Isak: I’m finally done. I’ll text you again when I’m dressed and ready

(13:03) Even: holy shit how long does it take you to shower You did have fun in there, didn’t you

(13:05) Isak: oh my god even, stop it

(13:05) Even: YOU DID!!!

(13:06) Isak: no, I didn’t

(13:06) Even: sure you didn’t, buddy

(13:07) Isak: I’m blocking u

(13:08) Even: anyway You ever heard of save the environment?

(13:09) Isak: yes, why?

(13:10) Even: you’re doing the opposite and unlike you I care deeply about my planet

(13:10) Isak: I’m hungover!! I needed that shower okay

(13:11) Even: are you really trying to make excuses for hurting mother earth In the long run you showering for so long will have consequences that are much worse than your minor, temporary hangover

(13:13) Isak: did you just say minor Because this shit isn’t minor And I honestly cannot tell if you’re for real right now or just fucking with me

(13:14) Even: well I am definitely not fucking you right now, considering that we’re not even in the same room

When Isak read the text, his face turned a bright red. How could Even just write stuff like that? It wasn’t that it made him uncomfortable or anything, if anything he actually kind of welcomed it. He just didn’t really know how to reply and maybe he was also a bit embarrassed. Isak probably wouldn’t be able to face Even later if he responded to this sex thing now.

(13:20) Isak: 1) you are insufferable but you already know that and 2) I am getting dressed now

Before he locked his phone again, he opened Spotify and pressed shuffle. Some song he had forgotten he had even saved started playing, but he didn’t mind. Instead he moved his hips along to the beat. He liked dancing and goofing around to songs as long as it was in the safety of his own bedroom. Isak reached into his closet, grabbing the clothes he picked out for the day. While putting them on, he danced through his room, feeling hyped. He wasn’t as tired and exhausted as he was when he woke up, so the shower had actually helped.

After he had put on the last piece of clothing, he stopped in front of the mirror and looked at himself. The dark circles around his eyes were still there and probably wouldn’t disappear in the next few hours. Apart from that, Isak believed he actually didn’t look too bad.

He prayed that he wouldn't fuck this up today. You didn't get many chances with other people, especially not someone as amazing, kind, and charming as Even, and Isak felt like he had already pushed his luck too much.

Smiling at himself confidently, he turned away from the mirror and texted Even that he was ready. On my way was the reply he got back.

When he left his room, a smile was playing around the corners of his mouth. He was so excited to see Even again and there was even a little bounce in his step. As he walked by the living room, he saw Eskild sitting on the couch. He must have noticed Isak as he looked up at him. The fact that Isak was practically beaming seemed to make him suspicious as he raised an eyebrow at him. Isak stopped in his tracks and waited for his friend to explain himself, a confused look on his face.

“Why are you so happy? What’s going on?” Eskild eventually asked after giving him another once-over.

“What do you mean? Am I not allowed to be happy?”

His friend contemplated this for a moment, tapping his index finger against his chin. “Of course you are.” He paused for a second, then continued, “it’s just… weird. You are usually grumpy. I’m just wondering what got you so happy.”

He wanted to tell Eskild about Even so badly, do some ‘gay bonding’ like he would say. But Isak didn’t even know where this thing between him and Even was going, let alone what it was. It had only started blossoming recently and he still wasn’t 100% sure if the other boy liked him that way. So he would rather keep it to himself until he got that figured out.

“Just having a good day. It’s nothing,” he lied and shrugged. Before Eskild could say anything else, Isak got the hell out of there, snatching his jacket from the coat rack on his way out.

While waiting for Even to arrive, Isak leaned against the wall of his apartment complex and played some games on his phone. He didn’t know how long it would actually take for Even to get here but because enough time had passed since he sent his last text, he figured it wouldn’t be much longer.

As Isak was focused on his phone, he was startled by the cheerful ‘Hello’ directed at him. He looked up, eyes meeting Even’s, and a huge smile spread over his face.

“Hi,” he replied just as happily while stowing away his phone.

Before Even continued to speak, he seemed to be thoughtful for a second, his brows furrowing in confusion, eyes narrowing. “For how long have you been out here?”

“Not too long,” Isak answered casually and shrugged.

“Aren't you cold?”

Indeed he was. Isak had been so focused on his phone that he hadn’t really noticed until Even brought it up. “Maybe a little bit, now that you mention it.”

Even flashed him a big affectionate smile that was enough for him not to notice the cold again. “Well, then let’s go and get you warmed up.”

They walked side by side, close to each other, their arms almost touching but not quite yet. Isak had his hands buried in the pockets of his jacket and focused on the street ahead of him, only occasionally sneaking a glance at Even. He usually caught him looking and gave Isak a smile, who looked away bashfully, blushing and smiling to himself. It was mostly quiet between them, both enjoying the other’s company silently. It didn’t take them long until they reached the café that Even had been heading for. The café was rather small and not too busy, with a harmonious and peaceful atmosphere. Isak already liked it.

After he paid for his coffee, he chose a rather secluded area in the back of the café and sat down on a comfy chair, waiting for Even to join him. When he did, Isak couldn’t hide his surprise at Even’s choice of beverage.

“Hot chocolate?” he wondered, “you’re drinking hot chocolate?”

“Uh, yes?” Even replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was. “Why are you so surprised?”

Isak shrugged, looking down at his own coffee. “I don’t know, I didn’t take you for a cocoa drinker. I was expecting something more… special?”

This earned him a big toothy grin and Even nodded knowingly. “You thought I was the kind of person who goes to Starbucks and orders a Latte Macchiato with not one but five pumps of hazelnut and vanilla syrup, two espresso shots and whipped cream but not that much because I need to watch my waistline. Right?”

For a short moment Isak looked at him perplexed by the detailed description and then shook his head in disbelief, laughing softly. “Yeah, exactly,” he admitted, “but you know, hearing all of that coming out of your mouth actually confirms that you are this kind of person.”

“Nope, this is enough. There’s nothing a hot chocolate can’t fix.” As Even said it, he raised the mug to his mouth and took a sip. When he put it back on the table, Isak noticed the milk froth on Even’s upper lip. He gestured towards it, pointed it out but when Even tried to wipe it away, he didn’t quite get the spot. “Is it gone?”

Again, Isak shook his head and Even tried a second time but failed yet again. He grinned amused at the other boy as he asked one more time if it was gone. “No. Wait, let me…” Isak muttered as he leaned across the table, brushing away the remaining milk froth. His thumb maybe lingered a moment too long on Even’s lip but he just couldn’t help himself. His lips were so soft . Isak could only imagine what kissing them would feel like when he took his seat again.

Isak fixated his eyes on those kissable lips but soon enough Even interrupted him as he thanked him quietly. Isak realised he was staring and immediately averted his gaze shyly, as he whispered, “no problem.” While he hoped that his creepy behavior hadn't been noticeable, he busied himself with opening the cookie that came along with his coffee. Afterwards he dipped it into his drink and took a bite.

They were quiet for a bit until Even spoke up again.

“You look good for someone who complained about dying earlier.”

Isak lightly blushed but chose to ignore the compliment. “Well, I was . But the shower helped.”

A wide grin played around Even’s lips. “Ahhh, the shower! Glad it helped.” Even winked at him, confusing Isak the slightest bit until he realised exactly why he had done it. And how could he have forgotten that part of their conversation?

Isak groaned loudly and shook his head, burying it in his hands. “Jesus, sometimes I cannot believe you.”

Even just laughed while wiggling his eyebrows at him. “No need to be ashamed,” he teased.

Although Isak was indeed embarrassed, his cheeks sporting a deep red, he smiled back. “We are not having this discussion again,” he replied determinedly.

The other boy nodded in understanding, his features going soft as he gently asked, “what do you wanna talk about instead?”

Isak thought for a moment, then pointed to Even’s nose tentatively. “How’s your nose?”

“Good, I guess. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” he answered nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders. “But I told you before, the guy that punched me was a softie.”

“And I told you before that I am not a softie!” Isak exclaimed but couldn’t help laughing.

“Sure, you’re not. Keep telling yourself that.”

Isak just shook his head in disbelief as he watched Even taking another sip of his hot chocolate. It still felt unreal that he was actually here, talking to Even, making stupid jokes and laughing about them, just enjoying each other's company. Before the incident, Isak had never talked to the other boy. He had only admired him from afar and decided against talking to him because he always thought that Even might find that weird, Isak just coming up to him and starting a conversation out of nowhere. So instead, he had chosen to whine about it to his friends who probably had been very tired of the ‘Even Bech Næsheim’ topic by now but had still listened nevertheless.

Isak had also daydreamed of him, imagining their conversations and what Even was actually like. And it shouldn't have come as a surprise but this whole scenario playing out right now? It was exactly how he imagined it, with Even being funny and teasing but also attentive and incredibly charming.

Silence surrounded them again, and while it had been okay the first few minutes, Isak was getting uncomfortable. The question that had been lingering on his mind, haunting him ever since that fateful day, threatened to burst out of him but whenever he opened his mouth, no words came out. He was obviously struggling, his mouth opening and falling shut immediately after. It took him by surprise when Even suddenly took his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb in a calming manner as if to say: It's okay, take your time. Isak smiled at him gratefully and while it did help to some extent, he still fidgeted with the table cloth. He took a deep breath and finally the words were tumbling out of his mouth.

“Uhm… I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” he started slowly, quietly, unsure of himself.

Even nodded and smiled at him encouragingly as he sat up straighter, waiting for him to continue. It was only subtle but Isak’s fidgeting seemed to make the other boy nervous as well. Isak tried to stop himself.

“Why did you even come over that day?” As he said those words, he managed to hold Even’s intense gaze, surprising himself considering he couldn’t even get his mouth to work not even two minutes ago.

Even’s mouth formed an O, realisation dawning on his face. A smile graced his lips as he was scratching the back of his neck, a small blush creeping on his cheeks. Isak would never get tired of seeing him like this - all flustered and suddenly shy - nor the fact that he was responsible for it.

“Uhh, well,” Even tried, letting out a nervous laugh, “I was, well, I came over because I wanted to talk to you?” It was more of a question, as if he was unsure of how Isak would react to that confession.

Isak was definitely surprised, to say the least. “You did?” he asked incredulously, leaning forward on the table, eyebrows raised highly in disbelief.

“Yeah. Well, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to get coffee or hang out sometime and I had everything planned out in my head because I was nervous as hell. But then you punched me in the face.”

If he was honest, Isak didn’t know what to focus on: the fact that Even had wanted to ask him out or the fact that he had been just as much of a trainwreck as Isak, trying to muster the courage to talk to the other boy.

“You had everything planned out, huh? What was your plan then?” Isak wanted to know, a big smirk plastered across his face.

Even groaned, burying his head in his hands. He shook his head shortly before looking up at Isak again. “You really want me to tell you?” A nod. “Jesus. So, like I said, I was really nervous and I had been wanting to talk to you for weeks but I kept putting it off because I thought you might think I’m weird or maybe you might not be interested. Which is ridiculous when I think about it now but any-”

“Wait, what? What makes you think I was interested?” Isak interrupted him promptly. His brow furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head slightly, curious to hear Even’s explanation.

“You stare a lot and you’re not very subtle. At first I thought it was the “fucking hell, that dude is weird” kind of staring but it wasn’t. Not at all.” By the end of it, a deep blush had already been formed on Isak’s cheek and he could feel his face quite literally burning. Isak had been convinced that he wasn’t too obvious with his staring, never allowed himself to let his gaze linger for more than 10 seconds. How had he even noticed that? It didn’t take him long to realise that Even had probably been staring too if he had picked up on that. But instead of addressing it, teasing Even about it, he tucked that knowledge away in the back of his mind. It was something he could smile about and cherish later.

“Well, anyway, my plan was to come up to you, looking extremely cool and handsome, flash you a big smile before I ask you if you wanted to hang out. You, of course, would be so surprised that you could only stare at me dumbfounded and I would have to repeat myself. You would be blushing by then but say yes or at least that's what I'm hoping and I would act cool like it wasn't affecting me at all and tell you I would text you and then I would walk away while you would gaze after me and as soon as I round the corner, you would freak out with your friends,” Even took a deep breath as he finished, a big toothy grin on his face.

His grin only widened when Isak looked at him stunned. Letting out a puff of air, he replied, “Wow. You really thought this through, huh?” He wouldn't ever admit that if it had happened like in Even’s little story, he would have exactly reacted like the other boy described it: speechless that his crush was talking to him, turning into a blushing mess and saying yes a tad too eagerly. And honestly, who wouldn't freak out when a guy like Even wanted to hang out?

The fact that Isak didn't deny any of this seemed to be enough to confirm Even’s assumptions. His eyes glinted knowingly and although it was subtle, Even appeared to be pleased with himself.

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted and nodded in agreement, “and the part where I walk up like this really cool guy worked. But when I opened my mouth, you ruined everything!” He tried to sound serious but couldn't stop the laughter from bursting out of him.

Isak immediately joined him, shaking his head. “I didn't even do it on purpose!” he exclaimed, trying to defend himself. “Wouldn't want to hurt a pretty face like yours.”

“Awww, you think I'm pretty?” Even asked him teasingly, placing a hand over his heart as if he was seriously touched by Isak’s words.

Suddenly, his half empty mug was more interesting than Even’s face as he muttered, “shut up.” He could feel his face heat up again in embarrassment and avoided looking at Even the best he could. Which was hard because have you seen this man? Gorgeous as hell. Isak would never get tired of looking at him.

“But no matter how it went down, we still ended up here,” Even eventually muttered softly, his eyes shining so beautifully in a way that took Isak's breath away for a second.

“Yeah, we did,” Isak agreed quietly and bravely locked his gaze with Even’s now, not giving in under the scrutiny of his look. Instead, he kept his eyes on him as if he feared Even would disappear if he only as much blinked.

“That was all I wanted.”

Isak nodded and smiled as he drank his coffee. When he had woken up this morning, he would have never thought his day would turn out this way. Sure, he was aware that he was going to meet up with Even, but he didn't expect things to go like this. While he was comfortable around Even, he was still awkward at times and blushed too easily at whatever Even said; yeah, he anticipated this to go much worse. But what he got instead was Even’s confession, which he definitely didn't expect. The other boy had thought about their conversation when they first talked in depth as well and it left Isak speechless. He didn't know what to make of or do with this information and he wondered if Even’s imagination stopped after the first meeting. But all that mattered right now anyway was that Even seemed to want this just as much as Isak which made him feel all warm and giddy on the inside.

It didn't happen often that Isak’s crush wasn't one-sided. So far it hadn't happened at all. Isak remembered all the fruitless crushes he had: Jonas, a few other guys from school, that one guy he had made out with at a party but had then panicked and was now hiding behind a girlfriend Isak knew he didn't love and never would. Isak thought Even would be one of them. Just another boy that wouldn't reciprocate his feelings and that Isak would get over rather quickly. It was always only a matter of time. He was delighted that this situation seemed to be different for once.

Eventually, Isak emptied his mug and wiped his mouth. He watched as Even put down his cup shortly after him. “Do you wanna get anything else? Another cup of coffee? Maybe food?” Even asked.

“Food sounds good. I saw earlier that they sell waffles,” Isak replied thoughtfully. Before he could say anything else, Even was already out of his chair and said, “Waffles it is then. Be right back.”

He turned on his heel, starting his walk to the counter to order, when Isak called after him. Even stopped in his tracks and turned back around, facing Isak. “Uh, can you also get me a hot chocolate?” he inquired shyly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Even’s smile was wide when he answered. “Of course.”

Isak watched Even’s back as he made his way to the front of the café and ordered two hot chocolates, Isak’s waffle and a muffin for himself. When he came back to their table, he put down one of the cups in front of Isak and the other one on his side, sitting down again afterwards.

“It’ll be a while until you get your food, though. They said all their waffles are freshly baked,” Even told him before he took a bite from his muffin.

“Okay, cool. Thanks.” He nodded shortly, then asked, “how much is it? The hot chocolate and the waffles, I mean?”

Even was still chewing the bits of his muffin, so it took him a while to answer. He tried to eat faster but it only caused him to choke on it which then turned into a coughing fit. He hit his own chest in an attempt to stop it but only when he also drank some of his cacao did he calm down a bit. Isak looked at him worried and reached out his hand tentatively to touch Even’s but backtracked in the last second. “Are you okay?” Isak wanted to know with concern laced deeply in his voice.

Instead of answering immediately, Even let out another cough but nodded. “Yep, I’m good. I’m good.”

Isak raised his eyebrows in suspicion. “You sure?”

The other boy made a ‘mhmm’ sound as he took another sip of his hot chocolate. He shook his head and wiped away the tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes due to all the coughing. “Okay, I’m all good now, really,” he said more to himself than Isak. The muffin was pushed aside as Even chose to eat that one later, and instead looked back up at Isak. “Don’t worry about paying though. This one is on me,” he declared with a bright smile on his face. And while it was hard not to just give in when Even smiled at him like that, he couldn’t accept the offer.

“No, you really don’t have to do this. I can pay for myself,” Isak protested.

“Because you’re a strong independent woman who doesn’t need her date to pay for her?” Even asked, eyebrows raised, and a grin playing around his lips.

Isak thought for a moment, then looked him dead in the eye as he said seriously, “Yes, exactly.” He sat up straighter subconsciously but his posture faltered soon enough though and his laugh could be heard as clear as a bell. It didn’t take long for Even to join him, and yet again Isak considered his laugh the most beautiful sound on earth.

Even’s laugh soon became soft and Isak could recognize something in his eyes that looked a lot like… fondness. “You can pay next time,” he promised.

The possibility of having a repeat session of this made Isak smile even more and he tried to hide his pink cheeks by looking down at his hot chocolate and taking a sip. Before he could reply anything though, a girl came up to their table to place a plate down in front of Isak. He thanked her smilingly and began eating. The waffle was delicious and Isak couldn’t stop the groan slipping out of his mouth. He noticed Even staring at him comically, and with his mouth still stuffed with food, he asked him, “What?”

Even tried to hide his grin as he said, “nothing. It’s just, you look and sound like you’re having an out of this world experience. You sure you don’t want me to leave you alone with those waffles?”

“I mean, they are out of this world. But if you wanna see someone who really has a holy experience every time he eats waffles, you should join us for lunch on Monday. Mahdi is like, obsessed with them,” Isak replied, grinning at the thought of Mahdi and his love for waffles.

“Mahdi?”

“Oh yeah, he’s one of my best friends,” he explains, “he eats them every day in the cafeteria for lunch. I don’t know how he’s not tired of it yet. The lady there always has them ready before Mahdi even orders them, so he can dive into paradise straightaway.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Even demanded as he was leaning forward on the table, his eyes insanely wide.

Isak just shook his head while he laughed. “No, I’m not. I am 100% serious about this. You don’t joke around when it comes to Mahdi and his waffles.”

“Jeez, I guess I’ll have to join you guys on Monday then to see this for myself,” he responded, a grin spreading across his face.

“Yeah, that would be great,” Isak said as he continued to eat his food. He switched between stuffing his mouth with waffles and drinking his cacao. It wasn’t long until he was finally finished and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He looked at Even who had picked up his muffin again, eating away at it.

They fell in silence again with Even munching on his muffin while Isak watched him subtly. He could sit like this forever, just staring at this beautiful boy sitting across from him. But he knew that wasn’t possible and that they needed to get home pretty soon where they would part ways. A horrible thought, if you asked Isak. But looking at his phone, he realised that they had been sitting here for hours and that it was getting late. Talking to Even seemed to make him lose track of time entirely.

When Even was done eating his muffin, Isak nodded his head in the general direction of the front of the café. “Do you wanna get anything else or are you ready to go home?”

Even smiled at him warmly as he answered, “let’s go home.”

When they left the café, it was starting to get dark outside, the sun painting the sky in a bright, beautiful orange. And while this was a beautiful view, Isak would rather look at Even who was even more stunning.

They made their way home quietly. Isak longed to reach out his hand, hold Even’s in his but like earlier he restrained himself and instead let his arms dangle at his sides. Too soon did they reach Isak’s shared flat and Isak knew this would be the end of a wonderful day spent. As soon as he would say his goodbyes to Even and go inside, the spell would be broken and he would return to the real world. God, there were so many things he still wanted to tell him and Isak’s head was spinning with thoughts and a million other questions that threatened to burst right out of him. He didn't even know where to start or if he should at all.

When they came to a halt in front of the kollektiv, the two of them just stared at each other until Even broke into a smile. Isak looked at him confused, asking him a silent ‘What?’.

“I was right. Today was even better than last night,” Even explained. “And you didn't kiss anyone.”

Not yet, Isak’s brain supplied helpfully but Isak tried not to ponder over it too much. “Yeah,” he breathed, a small smile dancing around his lips. “I’m just glad Emma finally knows how I feel about her even though I wasn’t really nice about it. I mean I feel bad but also kind of relieved, you know?”

“Hmm, yeah.” Even agreed with a nod of his head. He thought for a moment, tilting his head slightly. “But it wouldn’t have been fair to either of you to keep this going, so you did the right thing. Although you really could have been nicer about it.”

Isak smiled helplessly at the grin he was met with. “I know, but I don’t think I would have gotten my point across otherwise. I hope she isn’t too mad.”

The thing was: Isak really didn’t want to upset Emma and he definitely hadn’t planned on telling her like that. He wanted to explain this to her calmly, not when he was drunk off his ass. But when she had kissed him, he had just lost it - which didn’t justify his behavior - but he couldn’t exactly say he regretted anything. Isak was glad the words were finally out there and so he didn’t have to keep up this lie anymore that was slowly eating away at him. He couldn’t do it any longer.

“Ahh, I’m sure she won’t stay mad for too long. Not at someone with a pretty face like yours.” Even’s smirk was marvelous as he said it so casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Isak’s brows were raised in a mix of surprise and confusion while heat rose to his cheeks for the millionth time this day. The other boy ignored it and shrugged. “Just use your charm on her. It’ll work.”

“Like it worked on you?” Isak had his arms crossed on his chest and a challenging glint in his eyes. His lips spread into a smirk as he waggled his eyebrows at him. Isak didn’t know where the sudden burst of confidence came from. But he didn’t mind at all because soon Even’s look of astonishment turned into breathless chuckles and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and heard.

Even looked down for a second, shaking his head, and then looked back up again. His gaze pierced into Isak’s eyes with such an intensity he had to avert them. “Yeah, exactly,” Even finally said, grinning like a cheshire cat.

After that they stayed silent, only sharing secret smiles with each other, while Isak buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket. Isak had to process this information. His crush had basically told him that he liked him too, that he could charm anyone if he wanted to and even managed to do that to Even. Even Bech Næsheim liked him and this knowledge still felt somewhat surreal to him. He didn’t really know what to do with it.

During that whole conversation Isak hadn’t noticed that they had been getting closer, only standing a few meters apart now. Suddenly, he had a deja vu to last night where they were in this exact same position, Even only meters away from him but coming closer and closer and Isak standing there frozen, not knowing what to do. He tried not to let the panic rise in him again. He wanted this, so why was he so damn nervous about it?

This time Even searched his face, silently asking ‘Is this okay?’, and Isak only nodded because of course it was! God, Isak desperately wanted to kiss him, feel Even’s lips pressed against his own. He tried to swallow his nervousness when they were only centimeters apart now, his heart pounding so loud in his chest he was sure Even could hear it. This time he wouldn’t hug Even and he would definitely not run away again. No, this time would be completely different.

When their noses brushed, they shared the same breath, inhaling and exhaling each other. Isak never wanted this moment to stop, never wanted the bubble they were currently in to burst. But the universe seemingly wasn’t on Isak Valtersen’s side lately. As their lips were almost touching at this point, Isak’s phone suddenly ringed. With that, the spell was broken, the two of them jumping apart, as Isak fished his phone out of his pocket.

Magnus.

One of these days he was actually going to kill him.

Isak cursed under his breath as he answered the call, not being able to keep the annoyance from his voice, “what is it, Magnus?”

Magnus didn’t seem to notice that Isak was annoyed and started babbling away happily, “We heard someone from school is throwing a party and we wanted to know if you’re in? We’re currently pregaming at my place. Please, please, come, it will be so much fun!” His friend sounded way too excited, like more than usual, as if he had already had his fair share of drinks. “And you still haven’t told us what happened last night and have been ignoring us all day. We are deeply concerned about you, Isak Valtersen. So you are obligated to come and explain this to us.” Magnus tried to sound serious and genuine, he really did, but soon afterwards Isak heard him chuckle on the other side of the phone. He didn’t want to know how much Magnus had already drunk so far.

Isak thought about it. He didn’t feel like partying but he guessed he owed the guys an explanation. So he let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head as he gave in, “okay, I’ll come.” Magnus squealed in his ear loudly, making Isak hold the phone away from himself and clench his teeth at the screeching sound. He shouted at Jonas and Mahdi that Isak was going to join them, which was followed by deafening hollering.

Eventually, Isak said his goodbyes to Magnus and then looked at Even apologetically. “I’m sorry about that.”

Even shook his head and cracked a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No, no, it’s fine.” Isak knew it wasn’t. Hell, he didn’t think it was fine and he was going to kill Magnus later for ruining this perfect moment. Why couldn’t he have called a minute later? But Magnus had never had a good timing, Isak knew that.

“Looks like I’ll be going to another party tonight,” he said, shuffling around awkwardly. Isak didn’t want this to end just yet. He would say anything to keep this conversation going for a little while longer.

Even arched his eyebrow, smirking at Isak. “Do I need to worry about you going around kissing girls while I’m not there?” he joked, trying to sound nonchalant, but the slight concern in his voice slipped through anyway. His heart actually clenched at that tone.

“No, you don’t,” he reassured him, looking at him fondly. Why he would ever want to kiss anyone but Even now was beyond him.

It was only subtle but Isak could see the corners of Even’s lips lift a bit immediately. “I won’t drink anyway. Probably. Maybe.” Isak pretended to think about that for a moment and then started cackling. “Okay, I won’t drink too much. I won’t survive another hangover like this morning.”

“Mhm, I’ve heard showers help,” Even replied teasingly, licking his lips. Isak tracked the motion with his eyes, blatantly staring at him, before he shook his head to collect his thoughts again.

“Oh my God, Even, I can't believe you brought that up again!” Isak exclaimed who struggled to be serious about this. “Will you ever stop?” Isak had a feeling he wouldn't. Something that he had noticed within only a few days of talking to Even is that he loved teasing others, specifically Isak. So the shower gag would be brought up over and over again until it got old, Isak knew that much.

“Not in the near future, no,” Even confirmed his assumptions but Isak wasn't even mad. It was a joke and if it really made him uncomfortable, he knew Even would stop if he asked him to. The other boy wouldn't intentionally hurt him. So instead, he sighed dramatically like it was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

“Anyway, I don't want to hold you up any longer. Go to your party and have fun. I’ll see you on Monday,” Even said, giving Isak one of his fondest smiles. He started walking backwards, waiting for Isak to say his goodbyes. He was quite amazed by Even who didn’t run into something along his way because Isak had been staring a lot at him until he managed to open his mouth.

“Yeah, see you on Monday,” he replied softly and watched as Even waved at him before turning around and strolling off into the night. Isak looked after him, only darting his eyes away when Even disappeared around the corner. He already missed the tall, sweet boy.

Isak wandered off into the opposite direction and seeked to look forward to meeting his friends, telling himself it was going to be fun. When he got on the tram, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and got it out. First, Isak thought it was going to be one of the boys, asking him where he was and when he would arrive at Magnus’ but he got it completely wrong. It was a text from Even. (18:53) Even: had a lot of fun today, it was great. can't wait till Monday Isak smiled to himself, warmth filling his body from head to toe all over again. He still couldn't wrap his head around what was happening but it was obviously a good thing, so he wouldn't complain. His smile grew bigger as he typed out a reply. (18:55) Isak: me too. I liked talking to you. seeing you actually did help with my hangover. even bech næsheim, the greatest hangover cure

(18:56) Even: aww haha stop it, you're making me blush glad I could help you tho

(18:58) Isak: what? me making you blush? incredible

(19:00) Even: ikr haha

(19:10) Isak: also thank you for walking me home.

(19:14) Even: of course. Yeah, today had definitely been one of Isak’s favorite days.

#skam #evak #evak fanfic #isakthesnake #LOOK I FINALLY UPDATED LMAO #smoothyousef #isaksredscarf #my writing #its been like 84 years wtf

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