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#wukong literally broke your window
beauleifu · 2 years
Note
Requests you say? [materializes]
Some good ol Wukong x reader fluffiness? Like reader’s had a really long day at work and they just need some pampering :)
(Maybe reader can be transmasc too and like doesn’t wanna take off his binder and SKW is like “bitch you need to breathe.” Only if you’re up for it tho :])
Have a good day/night!
-🦈
Awww of course!
Roughly 1k oneshot, hope you like it, reader is written up to be transmasc, i hope it fits your expectations/preferences!
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SUN WUKONG X READER
Lego Monkie Kid
Context: Unfortunately, long days at work do nothing to aid your sleep schedule. Equally unfortunate, broken windows aren't the best thing to fall asleep to. Why not music? Yeah, no. Sun Wukong isn't the best singer - besides, his stage fright is so bad he'd shrivel up like a raisin at the bare mention of a performance for you.
TW: Language
***
You perform precisely one thing when you get home.
Flop on your couch, and close your eyes.
. . . Okay, maybe two things.
But, to be fair, you're too tired to keep track of anything at the moment. The world can wait for you to charge your internal battery, a feat in which only sleep can fulfill.
You don't even bother taking off your binder, nor your shoes; you simply wait for sleep to claim your weary soul.
CRASH!
Crap. The universe must have a different fate in store for you.
Eyes flying wide open as the loud noise startles you upright, you snap your head to the window. Or what was left of it. You're staring at a Wukong shaped hole in the window, shards of glass scattered across the floor, along with leaves and sticks.
Slowly, your eyes finds the culprit. The one and only Monkey King, arms folded proudly over his chest, his smile wide and bright.
"Hiya, (Y/N)!"
A long stretch of silence.
You blink stupidly. "The fuck. The fuck??"
To you're credit, you were just about to fall unconscious when the monkey demon broke into your home. So your reaction is honestly understandable.
"Don't mind me, just checking in on my favorite mortal," Wukong says carelessly, stepping across the carpet and into the kitchen. Letting out a long sigh, he faces the fridge and begins his search. "Got any fruit? Snacks? I'd never refuse some dumplings, if you have any leftover . . ."
Mumbling under his breath, he digs further into the fridge, fishing out random condiments.
Your jaw drops.
"What the hell are you doing in my house-"
"Oh, I thought it was obvious!" With that, Wukong peeks out from behind the fridge door and grins. "I watched you walk inside, no biggie, and decided to invite myself in."
Your gaze drifts to the broken glass. "I can see that. . . ."
"Crap. Sorry, I'll fix that. Leave it to your ol' man," Wukong chuckles off-handedly, preparing you both some lunch.
Now you're confused.
After getting over the initial shock of Wukong breaking and entering your home, you just feel concern over the inevitable question of- "Were you stalking me?"
The fluffy monkey snorts. "Uh, yeah. I spy on everyone."
"That's not really reassuring-"
Your comment is cut off by a huge yawn, and you almost want to fall back onto the couch. You almost don't care that Wukong broke your window, that he's stealing your food to make a meal for the both of you (that's what you assume, of course. The smell of fruit smoothie reaches tells you one thing: he's hungry). The reason for his unexpected visit is unknown, but you really don't care. Honestly, you're somewhat glad for the company.
Sun Wukong is at your side in a heartbeat, standing over you with two smoothies in hand. He tilts his head, baffled at your behavior. "You okay there, bud?"
"Fine. Tired."
"Long day at work, huh?"
Groaning, you flop back into the cushions and bury your face into one of the pillows. "We don't talk about that."
"Ahh, I see," Wukong growls cheerfully.
With that, he settles on the small space available on the couch, taking a noisy sip from his smoothie. You feel Wukong tap your head with the end of the other glass, albeit gently.
You sigh. "Not hungry."
Chest tightening at your companion's doubtful hum, you close your eyes. Oh, well.
"Do you, uh . . . you got anything else on your itinerary today?"
Wukong's investigative comment drags you back to reality for a moment. But it doesn't last long; you're tired, and it's getting hard to breathe in here. Maybe you don't need to. "Nope. I'm gonna lay here all day and sleep."
"Sounds like a plan."
"Yeah. But now I gotta fix my window."
Wukong snorts. "I said I'd do it! Now sit up and drink this, I didn't make it for nothing."
Huffing negatively, you say; "What's it made out of?"
"Just drink it," Wukong says exasperatedly, and you raise your head to eye the drink skeptically. The monkey demon rolls his eyes. "I made it with all the stuff you like."
You scoff. "Wow, you know me so well."
"Yeah, it's kinda my thing. A-A-Anyways. You wanna get something more comfortable on while I turn the TV on?"
Blinking, you glance down at your outfit. "This is fine."
"Is not," Wukong says doubtfully, eyeing your chest. "Unless you like suffocating yourself, I'd take the binder off for now, dude. Mortals have to breathe to live."
"Nah. Too tired."
"God, you're so lazy," the Monkey King huffs irritably. "Don't make me do it for you."
Ha, that's funny. "Since when did you start doing me favors?"
He contemplates your reply before shrugging carelessly. "All right, fair point. But Pigsy would have my hide if you up and died on me, so!" With that, he snaps his fingers, and suddenly it feels easier to breathe. Suddenly, you're wearing fluffy (color) pajamas. The Monkey King is grinning slyly. "Hope you don't mind. And hey! You look so adorable in (color)! Makes me wanna just pinch your little marshmallow cheeks!"
The immortal deity suddenly takes your face in his hands, wearing an expression of utmost joy and adoration as he pats your cheeks fondly.
You wave him off, face heating up. "Bro! Coulda warned me!"
"Heh. Too late."
Smacking him (lightly), you grab the smoothie from his hands and take a long sip. The drink tastes perfect, as always.
You just hadn't realized how hungry you were, that's all.
Wukong is grinning at you. "Well?"
"It's good. It's always good."
"AS ALWAYS! You're the best critique, sweet cheeks. You're right; next time, I gotta balance out the fruit portions to help strengthen the overall taste factor," Wukong says, stroking his nonexistent beard.
That gets you laughing. "Dude, you're awful."
"No, you're awful."
"Kay."
"Wait!" Sun Wukong's paws fly up in surrender, the TV remote almost slipping from his grip. Eyes wide and earnest, he meets your amused gaze. "Bro. Seriously? I was kidding, (Y/N). You're not awful, and hopefully, neither will this movie."
You turn your curious gaze to the TV screen. "And what's that?"
"Cuddle with me and find out."
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Text
We're doing more incorrect quotes, with bits and pieces of the other cast, because I feel like Chikao and Tongbi tonight and said so.
Tongbi: Why does Nezha always do the laundry so loudly?
Chikao: So everyone knows that no one helps them out in the house.
Nezha: walks into the kitchen, ignoring everyone
Nezha, in the distance: slams the washing machine shut
Tongbi: Hey, Nezha, how was your day?
Nezha: picks up an onion and bites into it, staring at Tongbi Hell.
Nezha: Where’s Chikao?
Chikao, watching this unfold: whispers Who hurt you?
Tongbi: Around.
Nezha: Around?
Nezha: You don’t have any idea, do you?
DBK: I haven't seen Chikao and Tongbi for fifteen minutes now.
Chikao, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?
Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Chikao and Tongbi running after it in a panic. DBK doesn't look outside at all.
Chikao: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?
DBK: That probably means they're getting into trouble.
DBK: Bees?
Chikao: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES!
DBK: Wait-
DBK: Something tells me Chikao's going to be a bit more unhinged today…
Tongbi approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly
Tongbi: Is there anyone here who’s actually straight?
Chikao, holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, Tongbi isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.
Wukong: raises hand
Chikao: puts their hand down
Chikao: Do you guys want to see a butterfly?
Tongbi: Ooh, yes please!
Wukong, with their laptop open: I'm not going to stop working to look at a stupid bug!
Chikao: It's not a bug though…
Wukong: …
Tongbi: …
Wukong: Well I still don't want to see.
Tongbi, realizing: Please don't throw-
Chikao, in Macaque’s window: I thought I’d find you here!
Chikao: Whee! throws a stick of butter
Macaque: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Tongbi, climbing past Chikao: WE COULD HAVE USED THE DOOR-
Tongbi: I feel like we've all done that at least once.
Chikao: I ate it too-
Tongbi: See?
Chikao:: -On purpose…
Chikao: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to DBK and Wukong's convo?
Macaque & Tongbi: …What?
Azure: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.
Tongbi: I'm in the washing machine.
Macaque: I'm in the closet.
Azure: We accept you Macaque. <3
Macaque: No I'm literally in the closet.
Macaque: Rules were made to be broken.
Azure: Love is love. <3
Tongbi: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Wukong: Uh, piñatas.
Azure: Glow sticks.
DBK: Karate boards.
Chikao: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Macaque: Rules.
Azure, walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.
Tongbi:
Tongbi: Hey.
Chikao: Hi.
Macaque: Hello.
DBK: Hey!
Azure: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker
Wukong: We were out of Doritos.
DBK: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Azure: …I did. I broke it.
DBK: No. No you didn't. Chikao?
Chikao: Don't look at me. Look at Tongbi.
Tongbi: What?! I didn't break it.
Chikao: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Tongbi: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Chikao: Suspicious.
Tongbi: No, it's not!
Macaque: If it matters, probably not, but Wukong was the last one to use it.
Wukong: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Macaque: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Wukong: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Macaque!
Azure: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, DBK.
DBK: No! Who broke it!?
Macaque: DBK… Chikao's been awfully quiet.
Chikao: rEALLY?!
Everyone starts arguing
DBK, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
DBK: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
DBK:
DBK: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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skellebonez · 3 years
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I just finished reading the messages from Discord and I couldn't resist. Macaque and Pigsy with 8 and 26 (you know what this is about)
I had to write this ASAP so I wouldn't forget or be unable to find exactly what this was about again for reference because this is about something from 3 days ago (and if I hadn’t bumped this it wouldn’t have been written for like 4-5 more days because of my queue)! What's the context here? It's a surprise if you don't know, just read the fill and you will understand why it needed written. Shout out to @animemoonprincess because you know why (and also because a chunk of the dialogue came from you).
I know of your reputation all too well./You don’t hate me.
"You cannot be serious," Macaque muttered under his breath. "You truly cannot be serious. This cannot be a thing that is happening to me at this very moment... I am an immortal being, I almost defeated the Monkey King, I almost defeated your kid, I-!”
“I know of your reputation all too well,” Pigsy brushed off with a scowl as he looked at the two items in his hands to, once again, decide which one was of higher quality and therefore more worthy of a purchase. “Believe me, I didn’t jump into this without knowing what I was getting into, bub.”
Macaque, Six Eared Macaque, was standing in a department store of some kind with his arms bogged down with baskets of all the stuff he had mistakenly allowed himself to look at and react to.
He would ask how, exactly, he had allowed himself to get to this point... But quite frankly he had absolutely no idea. One day he had come back after his, admittedly, crushing defeat at the hands of the Monkie Kid himself and before he knew it he had somehow assimilated into their little group to the point that MK had used his True Sight on him by accident and discovered his little secret.
His Six Eared title was not just a title. It was literal. And his six ears changed colors depending on how he felt and Macaque had never learned how to control that.
It hadn't taken him long to figure out exactly what each of the colors meant. And eventually MK, much more conniving than Macaque had ever given him credit for before, had made a chart. It was basic, of course, red meant he was angry (or really passionate) and blue meant he was happy and grey meant he was sad and so on and so forth. Even figured out what the number of ears sharing the same color meant.
And despite Macaque's best efforts to hide how he was actually starting to feel about the group (more positive emotions than he would ever admit before the day he died again) MK would just look at him sometimes and announce it. Macaque would have been angry if he hadn't, you know... tried to kill the kid. He supposed that the occasional "oh yeah, he looks pissed but he's actually at 2 purple (relaxed) and 2 blue (happy) and 2 pink (love) so I think loved that soup Pigsy" was well deserved.
Eventually he just dropped the glamor hiding his ears (one of many, including the one hiding his damaged eye) and then things spiraled out of control because MK had, at least, never announced when he was feeling genuinely bad unless he had to.
Now everyone could see when his ears went black and grey (upset and sad in varying degrees) at the sight of Monkey King's visage on TV or the taste of something that he had memories of that he could no longer reach. They saw when some would turn yellow (fear) hearing MK yelp in pain (and the fact that happened now, fear for the kid's safety, boggled his mind). They saw the green of jealousy more than once when he watched MK and Monkey King interact. He made sure to leave before that happened again.
That very morning before he and Wukong had attempted to talk. It hadn't... gone well. He had attempted to hide his mood, put the glamor back up, but MK had done what he had only done a handful of times before. He'd gone to Pigsy and told him his (what they had deemed) color rating. 2 red, 3 black, 1 grey. And that sounded about right to him. He wasn't really angry, just... upset. He wanted to be left alone.
Pigsy had followed him to his dojo with hot soup and an air mattress and somehow... somehow that helped. He didn't know why it did, but it helped.
And then he was awoken this morning to Pigsy shaking him awake and dragging him to this store and he was buying literally everything Mac made the mistake of looking at and liking and it was actually kind of endearing but also worrying.
Speaking of which, Pigsy was holding up a little plush doll. Not all that dissimilar to the one MK had. "Do you want this?"
"What? No," Macaque snapped, raising his eyebrows at the suggestion. Yes it was cute, but-
"Hm, I see," Pigsy said vaguely, tossing it on the pile of random stuff in Macaque's arms.
"Wh- stop wasting your money!" Macaque tried to argue, pulling the plush doll out of the pile of useless trinkets he didn't need to toss it back to the pig demon.
Pigsy growled, shoving the plushie into Macaque's arms. "I'm not wasting it if its making you happy am I?"
"H-HAPPY?" Macaque asked, and if anyone said anything he would deny the squeak that came with his word. "I-You-I am starting to hate you!"
“You don’t hate me,” Pigsy retorted casually, as easily as if he had added a dash more spice to his soup broth after a quick taste.
And Macaque had to pause and admit to himself after a moment of self reflection, and looking at his literal reflection in a nearby window (2 purple, 2 blue, 2 pink)... no. He didn’t hate Pigsy.
Huh.
----------
"Kid help, your boss is crazy," Macaque attempted to announce when he "broke into" MK's apartment through the front door, arms still bogged down with all the stuff the chef had purchased for him. He needed somewhere to store his stuff while he fixed up his old dojo. "He-"
"I see Pigsy has adopted you too."
"He's wHAT?"
----------
Macaque had tossed all the clothes and plush toys and trinkets at MK, who made no secret that he was very offended by this, before rushing down to the closed noodle shop where he had left him.
"Pigsy you can't adopt me, I'm older than you and I don't legally exist!" He yelled, grabbing the pig demon by the shoulders and looking at him very seriously.
Pigsy just smirked back at him. "Wanna bet I can't? I have Wukong's lawyer on speed dial."
Well shit.
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heliosthegriffin · 3 years
Text
Infernis Dominus
An aged Cardin Winchester walks down the halls into a well decorated throne room.
The years had been good to him, the graying in his hair natural and he supported a mighty mustache and mutton chops, and even in his more advanced years he still looked as formidable as he did in his prime.
Whether it was due to his aura control, a healthy life style, or duty he was driven by, was impossible to be told and did not matter as he was as well mentally as he was physically. He would continue to serve.
He took to one knee in a bow before a marble and golden throne that was draped in blue tapestry with a pair of golden arcs in the center.
At the center of the throne was a enigma of a man, one who was both boyish, but clearly a man, young but showed age with the strands silver hairs in his golden hair and the laugh lines on his face, blues eyes that carried playful energy and harsh weight, a body that was built to destroy that was covered by heavy armor and held a dreadful sword at his side, but he carried himself with an aura of peace and warmth. Divine, but clearly a Man.
This is Jaune Arc, Lord of the Arc Covenant, Paragon of War, and Master of Conquest.
“My friend, why do you bow? It is only the two of us here.”
Cardin rose up on his feet, and waved off his comrade. “Paah, even if it is only us two I pay my respects to my superiors, circumstance must not be forgotten, otherwise discipline dies and chaos reigns.” Jaune raised a brow. “Hmm, I suppose, but I think its the stick up your ass.”
“If it’d keep you from slouching so much, I’d shove a log up yours.”
Jaune feigned pain. “Oh, such immodesty, is that anyway to speak to your king!”
“If I didn’t know you spent you’re free time in your harem chamber, or playing with those miscreants street rats you’ve taken in, I’d almost pretend to believe you.”
Jaune smirked at him. “To be fair, my wives have taken a quite the likening to them, and my brood has practically adopted them.”
Cardin shook his head in good-nature. “Oh, how are we suppose to remove you from your chambers now.”
“I suppose I shall have to move my throne in there.”
Both men then shared a laugh.
Jaune wiped a tear from his eyes. “How goes Carmine?”
“Oh, you know we’re in a stable, happy, monogamous marriage. No drama, no sleeping order, and no random bastards either.”
“Pfff, I bet you two have great sex too.”
A doopey smile ran across Cardin’s face. “Very.” 
Jaune barked out a laugh.
“Anyway, she’s happy, we’ve got a grandchild on the way soon, so she’s practically move into our’s son’s house, and using her semblance to knit everything, and has more or less got our daughter in law on house arrest.”
Jaune rolled his eyes. “That sounds like Carmine.”
“So how goes you harem, every man’s dream or so they say.”
Jaune sunk into his throne. “Exhausting, I should have never gone above six, but like an idiot I married twelve!” A wide smile broke across his face, and he opened his hand revealing a white orb of aura, where a dozen faces could be spied within. “Its damn tiring keeping up with them, trying to keep track of the hierarchy, and if it’s not a damn orgy to keep them all satisfied, it’s who gets to sleep with who. Sometimes though I have to man up and lay down the law, because at the end of the day I run this show, whether I like it or not.”
He forms another orb of aura, and another till he had twelve floating orbs, each showing a face of one of his wives as he watched them through his aura.
“I soul-bounded each one to each other and myself, I wanted them to know how honest I was about how they had a place in my heart.” With a wave of his hands the orbs shaped together to form a heart with each woman forming a piece of it. He rested a hand under his chin as he look at them. “I have to stop myself from having doubts sometimes, as they can feel it and I don’t want to worry them.”
He pulled the heart towards himself and held it between his hands. He looked at the many loves of his life. “I wouldn’t trade anyone of them,” He crushed the heart between his hands, the last look Cardin got his friends wives was a look of contentment and peace as a wave of aura washed over them.
Jaune then look at Cardin.
“So what do you have for me today? Any news about the battle front?”
Cardin then sighed. “About that, we won.”
Jaune raise a brow. “Excuse me?”
“We have done it, all land on Remnant, all known land in system as been taken by you, Sir. That was actually the reason I come to visit you today.”
“I thought you wished to converse with a long-time friend.”
“That too, anyway we’ve repelled the Grimm, and surrounded the Pools of Darkness with kill nests, any Primordial Grimm have either gone into hiding and we can kill at our leisure, or have been exterminated, the last of the planets in our system have sworn under your leadership, and finally we repelled any attempts by the Brothers and they’re minions to renter the system, not that they’ve tried very hard since you chased them off.”
Jaune smirked and thumbed his sword. “Shame, I was hoping to kill a god.”
“So, I’ve come to ask what next?”
Jaune put his hands on his sword and thought for a moment, looking out at his stain glass windows.
Cardin watch his friend with slight worry.
Ever since they met at the academy over fifty years ago, Jaune’s desire to make the world a better place and to be a hero had guided him. It’s what won Cardin and so many others over, what made him put together a militia when they found evidence of the councils corruption, what put him as the King of Vale, what made him go to war with Atlas and Mistral over the treatment of Faunus, why he put the world under his banner, why he absorbed the relics and dominated their spirits, why he killed the undying witch and put to rest the old wizard, and why he took over the solar system and cast out the gods in a duel.
What would they do with all the power in not only the world, but the solar system.
“Well, I suppose we need to make sure we can hold our territory, make sure we keep the world healthy, make sure that the other planets get along properly, and keep our strength up. Never know when the brothers or some-other gods out there will want some new ‘Congregation’. But, otherwise? I cannot say yet, for I have a pestering idea that I have yet to outline.”
“As you will it then, I shall have it done.”
“As you will then. By the way, come by again soon.”
Cardin nodded. “With Pleasure.”
“No, no, no, I’m going with pleasure!” Then Jaune walked off his throne and into his chambers. “It helps clear my mind.”
Cardin rolled his eyes. “Sure it does.”
-------
Fifteen Years later---
------
Cardin had grown slightly older, but other wise looked the same.
He was looking over piles of documents with his friends and colleagues, Lie Ren and Sun Wukong. Both of them having aged quite well, with Sun looking in his mid forties and Ren hardly touching thirty.
The doors were flung open, a wind knocking all their papers over, as Jaune strode in a broad smile on his face, still hardly having aged at all.
“Friends and Allies, I have decied our next step!”
Ren carefully rose from his seat. “What might that be?”
Jaune ripped Crocea Rexus from his sheath. “I’m glad you asked, we’re conquering hell! For too long have gods unworthy of our faith had control of our souls, no longer! We will liberate them and allow them salvation!”
Sun started clapping. “Yeah lets do this!”
Cardin raised a greying eye brow. “How might we do this though?”
“Oh ho hoh! I’ve been practicing for this question, for the last decade I have been experimenting with dimensional and spiritual barriers, and I have found I can cut them, like this!”
Jaune then took a slash at empty air causing it to twist and contort as space itself was destroyed leaving a hellish red light to fill the room, a large red hand then reach through and pulled itself out.
A gigantic demon emerged.
It then fell in half as Jaune resheathed his sword.
“Pesky creatures they are, so you boys in? I already got my militia going with me.”
Ren shook his head. “Jaune you don’t have to form a militia every time you want to overthrow something. You’re literally the king of the solar system, you have an army at your beck and call.”
“I do If I want to keep favor with the people, and honestly it’s more fun that way.”
Ren sighed in annoyance.
Cardin then got up and called his wife. “Yeah, It’s Jaune. Yep it’s a crusade, Hell, this time. I’ll be back alive or you’ll kick my ass, love you too.”
“I take you’re all accepting?”
“You know it!”
“Someone has to keep you in line.”
“What he said.”
Jaune then raise his sword and rushed into Hell, his Militia outside following as he screamed. “Glorious!”
AN: I am so annoyed, this is second time I had to write this because the first time I wrote it, It got deleted because I had accidentally hit the inspect button and it all went down the pipe.
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