#yes jeff goldblum is hot

[sunflowergirl522]

Eddie My Love

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: Eddie comes over to find you singing and cooking breakfast.

Word Count: 799

Eddie’s been knocking on your front door for a while. When there’s no response after five minutes of waiting and trying he knows your parents aren’t home, again, and he assumes that you’re asleep so he fumbles around in his pockets for the spare key you had given him the last time he was locked out and climbed into your bedroom window. ‘Eddie this just won’t do, we have to get you a key’ you had said after helping him through and he’s used said key countless times. Since then he’s used the key countless times, your parents mostly being gone on business trips means that he’s basically living here. 

He’s greeted with the sound of soft music coming from the kitchen and he smiles knowing that you’re listening to the mixtape he made you. It was full of old love songs that he normally wouldn’t be caught dead listening to but he knows how much you love them. That was an interesting week and the guys gave him hell when they caught him with a Chordettes cassette but it was worth it to see the big excited smile on your face and the koala hug he received after he gave it to you.

“Eddie my love, I love you so. How I’ve wanted for you, you’ll never know.” You’re singing along to the music swaying back and forth while cooking breakfast. He leans against the doorway of the kitchen enjoying the view of you in just his Hellfire shirt and a pair of panties while he listens to you sing. 

He’ll never know how he got so lucky to have you be his. He’s constantly left speechless at the thought of it. At the fact that of all the people who had fancied you in high school you had picked him. The day that you sat next to him in the cafeteria after telling one of the basketball players off for calling Eddie a demon spawn and looked up at him going ‘you alright Eddie bear’ was the same day you officially had him wrapped around your little finger. He made sure to make a show of it each time he reminded you of that by wrapping his whole hand around your pinky.

He smiles to himself before pushing off the frame and walking up behind you wrapping his arms around you and causing you to jump in surprise.

“Keep singing Sweetheart.” He chuckles against your neck at your reaction, placing a kiss at the hollow of it.

“Eddie! You’re early! I’m not even dressed yet.” You giggle, turning in his arms and smiling up at him.

“Hm, I’m not complaining. If I didn’t love seeing you in my clothes so much I’d say you were too dressed.” You laugh again and give him a kiss that was much too short for his liking before you turn back around to turn the stove off.

“You want eggs? I made extra just in case you decided to sneak your way in here before you’re supposed to pick me up.” He was taking you out to see that new movie The Fly later. He wanted to see it because it’s supposedly a new horror film and he thinks you’ll be holding onto him the whole time but you mainly wanna go because Jeff Goldblum is hot, not that Eddie needs to know that. 

“It’s not exactly sneaking in if I have a key and a drawer of clothes now is it?” He walks over to your stereo in order to replay what has to be his favorite song to hear come from your mouth. Once it starts again he holds his hand out for you. “Dance with me?” You’re taking his hand before he can finish. 

He pulls you into his chest holding you close and relishing in the feel of you against him. Together the two of you sway around the kitchen blissfully in love with each other. The two of you keep going after the song ends and Ritchie Valens ‘We Belong Together’ starts playing.

“You’re mine and we belong together. Yes we belong together, for eternity.” Eddie sings softly in your ear causing you to gasp and move away from him slightly just to look at him.

“I thought you didn’t know any of these songs?”

“What can I say?” He leans his forehead on your own, your noses bumping into each other. “You make me want to branch out from metal.” The smile on your face at that statement could keep him feeling warm in the coldest of winters.

“I love you Eddie bear.” You nuzzle your head back into his chest.

“God I love you so much Sweetheart. I still can’t believe you’re mine.”

“You better believe it because I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

Eddie Taglist: @starbxcks

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fic #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson stranger things

[matthias-the-tulip]

my updated list of parts i hope they keep in the red, white & royal blue movie

(updated after i reread it in a day) (a lot of these are just funny lines that add absolutely nothing to the plot but they make me laugh)

• the MAGAZINE 😭

• “he has the personality of a cabbage.”

• “i want to hear you gush like he's your fucking prom date.”

• alex makes a long loud fart noise


• “i'm going to throw up on you” at the stables (doesn't look like they're at a stables in the trailer 😒)

• “i'd rather be waterboarded” also at the stables (again, doesn't look like they're at a stables)

• “i bet he has a secret lovechild,” nora says. “or he's gay. or he has a secret gay lovechild.”

“it's probably in case i see his equerry putting his batteries back in,” alex says.

• midnight ice cream on instagram

• “i didn't know you wore glasses.” (henry's wearing a suit not pyjamas and alex is not wearing glasses what's that all about!)

• awkward fist bump on “this morning” (does not look like it’s a chat show in the trailer but also would a royal even go on this morning)

• star wars stan henry 🥹

• “not impressed, just surprised.”

“at what?”

“that you actually have, you know, feelings.”

• henry is beginning to smile…

• “do you MIND?” in the cupboard at the hospital

• “you're not the prince of me” 😭

• “i'd rather not be the little spoon.”

• henry's feet in a mop bucket

• “locked in a cupboard with your elbow inside my rib cage.”

• “i cannot believe even mortal peril will not prevent you from being the way you are.”

• “are you psychoanalysing me? i don't think royal guests are allowed to do that.”

• “is that the time you threatened to push me into the thames?”

• “no booty calls.”

• “it was like you were trying to set him on fire with your mind.”

• june's (nora now i guess 😟) plot to murder woody allen

• “don't let the papers print lies about me after i've garroted myself with my tie.”

• “you are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life.”

• “yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.”

• “cornbread knows my sins.”

• the whole turkey situation really

• “buy a summer home in majorca with the turkey”

• MR WOBBLES

• “jabba” cakes.

• henry watching bake off

• “you're jeff goldblum”

• “yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe”.

“I BEG YOU TO NOT”

• “it sounds like you did your best.” 🥹

• the new year’s party being referred to as “the legendary balls-out bananas white house trio new year's eve party” (white house duo now 😭)

• “please do not attempt to steal my shine. you will fail and i will be embarrassed for you.”

• “says prince fucking charming.”

• get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• alex’s reaction to get low playing at the new year’s eve party

• “christ, you are as thick as it gets.”

• alex falling while running with june (nora now i guess 😟) cause he was thinking about henry

• “he's gay and you're hot, so.”

• “still waters, deep dicking.”

• “prince henry is a biscuit,” nora says,
“let him sop you up.”

• they know each other's sleep schedule and alex gets in a bad mood when he doesn't talk to him 🥹

• “you're not going to kill him, are you?” she says.
“probably not,” alex tells her

• “shut up, shut all the way up, oh my
god”

• alex pushing henry up against a wall!

• “i mean, er, should we, i dunno, slow down?”henry says, cringing so hard at himself that one eye closes. “go for dinner first, or-“

• hooking one knee around the back of alex's thigh 😉

• ”i'm going to die,” henry says helplessly.

“i'm going to kill you,” alex tells him.

“yes, you are,” henry agrees.

• alex fixing his hair for him 😢😢😢

• henry singing god save the queen (king i guess) to make his 🍆 go away

• “i am going to do very bad things to you, and if you fucking ghost me again, i’m going to get you put on a fucking no-fly list. got it?”

• “you were jealous,” alex says. “you want me.”

• henry calling alex bossy 😂

• alex literally just insulting henry while he’s going to town on him

• “do you ever stop talking?” henry says. “such a mouth on you.”

• “hi,” he says, when he reaches henry’s eye level.

“hello,” henry says back.

“i’m gonna take your pants off now,” alex tells him.

“yes, good, carry on.”

• fucking eyelashes

• when he's done, he presses a sticky kiss in the crease of alex's leg where he'd slung it over his shoulder

• the mattress shifts, and henry moves up to the pillows, nuzzling his face into the hollow of alex's throat. alex makes a vague noise of approval, and his arms fumble around henry's waist, but he's helpless to do much else.

• the tip of henry’s nose catching on alex’s

• “for fuck’s sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me goodnight.”

• monocles for babies 😂

• “i don’t like that look,” amy says. “you look…sweaty.”

• “what in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell?”

• the whole polo kit situation. henry slowly putting his boot back on the floor

• “i’ve thrown men in the dungeons for less.”

“hey, don’t threaten me with a good time.”

• paris!!! leaving directions to the cheese

• “you're a mad, spiteful, unmitigated demon, and I'm going to kiss you until you forget how to talk.”

• birthday floggings et al and the buttercream!

• alex’s heart going weird at henry on the boat and having to put his head in his hands

• “i don't give a damn what joanne has to say, remus john lupin is gay as the day is long, and i won't hear a word against it.”

• “i will staple your dick to the inside of your leg”

• “i did get both of the gay kings.”

• “deflowering the darling of the republic.”

• “i'm not ... historically great at talking about things,” henry says.

“well, i wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart.”

“wasn't?"

“hey,” alex huffs. “are you trying to say i'm still not good at them?”

“no, no, i wouldn't dream of it,” henry says, and alex can hear the small smile in his voice. “it was just the first one that was.. well. it was enthusiastic, at least.”

“i don't remember you complaining…”

“yes, well, i'd only been fantasizing about it for ages.”

• baby. (!!!)

• “i miss you,” alex says before he can stop himself. he instantly regrets it, but henry says, “i miss you too.”

• “i want to ... put my fingers in his mouth...” she moans, sounding horrified.

• just the whole karaoke bar situation. plz. toilet stall hookup!

• “bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry.”

• o captain, my captain

• “if only you had known the mighty work of thine loins would be undone by a gay heir who likes it when american boys with chin dimples are mean to him.”

• the fruity truth: my favourite english author is jane austen.

• “when at wimbledon”

• “i want to see a cage match between your grandmother (grandfather i guess) and this fucking ghoul running against my mom”

• “and you are good. most things are awful most of the time, but you're good.”

• “he is truly a picture, wearing an expression of bewildered panic and absolutely nothing else.”

• “jesus tits”

• henry falling out of the wardrobe and just. sitting on the floor. (zahra finds him in the wardrobe instead :()

• “i thought you were getting into international relations or something.”

“i mean, technically-“

• “you're literally putting your dick in the leader of a foreign state, who is a man, at the biggest political event before the election, in a hotel full of reporters, in a city full of cameras, in a race close enough to fucking hinge on some bullshit like this, like a manifestation of my fucking stress dreams, and you're asking me not to tell the president about it?”

• all of zahra's quips tbh - “every time i see you, it takes another year off my life.” - “ask me if i'm afraid of the crown.”

• SEXUAL EXPERIMENTATION WITH
FOREIGN MONARCHS: A GRAY AREA.

• EXPLORING YOUR SEXUALITY: HEALTHY, BUT DOES IT HAVE TO BE WITH THE PRINCE OF ENGLAND?

• FEDERAL FUNDING, TRAVEL EXPENSES, BOOTY CALLS, AND YOU

• history, huh? bet we could make some. (the emails plz like i need at least some of them read aloud over a montage or something)

• “some saucy tart once tried to impugn my virtue against an oil painting of him, and in the halls of memory, some things demand context.”

• I GUESS THAT MAKES YOU. THE MF. NORTH STAR.

• “i thought you might need to, like, have a catholic moment about this or something?” 😭

• “santa maria is watching!”

• skinny dipping!!!

• “philip is the heir and i'm the spare, and if that nervy bastard has a heart attack at thirty-five and i've got malaria, whither the spare?”

• alex's meltdown outside kensington. very important. - “how 'bout i just keep yelling and we see which of the papers show up first!” he turns back to the window and starts flailing his arms too. “henry! your royal fucking highness!”

• “jesus, could you stop being an obtuse fucking asshole for, like, twenty seconds?”

• “i fucking love you, okay?” alex half yells, finally, irreversibly.

• “what do you want?”

“i want you-”

“then fucking have me.”

“-but i don’t want this.”

• “a whole lifetime of fine. that’s not good enough for me.”

• henry nuzzling his nose behind alex's ear.

• alex laughs and grabs his head and aggressively kisses his cheek, smashing his face into the pillow.

• “next time we shall visit some of the george Ill pieces and see if they burst into flame.”

• DANCING TO YOUR SONG IN THE MUSEUM

• “i completely fucking love you” and the ring and the chain

• “once shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier”

• henry’s email about memories and grief and the first time he saw alex

• “jesus, be a gay beard”

• henry and alex in the car after the fake date

• “i will physically fight your grandmother (grandfather i guess) myself if i have to, okay? and, like, she's (he’s) old. i know i can take her (him).”

“i wouldn't be so cocky,” henry says with a small laugh. “she's (he’s)full of dark surprises.”

• “your spine's a ridge i'd die climbing”

• “check the fucking news, you horny little miscreant”

• “it’s about to be gay DEFCON five in this administration.”

• “then fuck it.”

• the big group hug

• oscar saying “give ‘em hell.”

• “you're my mean friend.”

• “jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing”

• I 😭 LOVE 😭 HIM 😭 ON 😭PURPOSE 😭 they can't leave that out if they do i'll kill someone

• “what are we even defending here, philip? what kind of legacy? what kind of family, that says, we'll take the murder, we'll take the raping and pillaging and the colonizing, we'll scrub it up nice and neat in a museum, but oh no, you're a bloody poof? that's beyond our sense of decorum! i've bloody well had it. i've sat about long enough letting you and gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and i'm finished. i don't care. you can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, philip. i'm done.”

• “for what it's worth,” he says to philip, “that is the bravest son of a bitch i’ve ever met.”

• “we banged it out last night” + high five

• “i've been gay as a maypole since the day i came out of mum, philip.”

• all the support for them 🥹

• bea pouring the tea on philip's lap

• “you know, i think all that cocaine i did must’ve really done a job on my reflexes!”

• henry pulls alex close and kisses him, whispers, "i love you i love you i love you."

• never 😭 tell 😭 me 😭 the 😭 odds 😭

• “my life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person”

• “you are the absolute worst idea i’ve ever had”

• “listen, you've had your first big sex scandal. no more sitting at the kids' table.”

• how to love each other in plain sight

• “holding henry’s hand atop his own knee” in the portrait

• “all this fundraising for sobriety is going to drive me to drink”

• “i'm the prince of...here” 😭

• “you spent a month of your gap year talking to yaks in mongolia, h.”

• “i know it's a lot, but you give people hope. so, get back out there and be alex.”

• the super six 😭 (fantastic five now i guess)

• the picture of them on the cover of the magazine

• henry fixing june's hair 🥹 (NORA NOW I GUESS 😟)

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #red white and royal blue movie #red white & royal blue #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #casey mcquiston

[lillifaba]

My thoughts on the Wicked movie teaser trailer... so far.

Before you pop off in my replies and reblogs yes I know, this is just a teaser trailer and not the official tralier. Regardless that doesn't give this movie a magical critique pass. Most of my critques on this teaser come from my own thoughts and some of points raised in this post. This is also just me rambling into the void. Don't like don't read lmao.

If you've been following me for a while, then you already know my opinion on the Wicked movie and casting. Surprise surprise, you guessed it... I am extremely underwhelmed and disappointed. For so many reasons.

I'll start off with some things I like.

Johnathan Bailey is hot asf as Fiyero. (even if he looks way older than Fiyero is canonically meant to be)

The set and props. I think some of them actually look pretty neat. I'm glad they didn't use a green screen for Shiz and put in the effort to build a university campus. The train from Shiz to Oz looks kinda dope. I was always wondering what it would look like and I'll probably use that as inspiration for my fics and art comms.

Jeff Goldblum as The Wizard. I won't lie, I haven't seen a lot of movies with Jeff in them so I was cautious about his casting. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see how much his look and his performance so far actually fits Oscar. Time will tell if he can hold up to those standards.

I'm happy a WOC is playing Elphaba. Everyone complains about Fiyero not being racially book accurate but nobody talks enough about Elphaba being discriminated against as an amalgamation for rac!sm. More women of color should play her on stage.

THE NAILSSSS. Come on people this is the Wicked Witch of the West we're talking about she should be SERVING WITH THOSE CLAWS! Although personally I would've preferred them sharp but I'm over here with almond arylics what do I know lol.

I'm happy they casted a disabled actress to play Nessa. I always wondered why they never did that.

With that out of the way, let's get into a million reasons why I hated this trailer and why I'll most likely hate the movie anyways.

Arianna as Glinda. Look, I don't hate Ari. I like some of her songs and even bought some of her perfumes because I like smelling good. At worst I just don't care about her. However whenever I see Arianna as Glinda, I'm sorry I just don't see Glinda, I see ARIANNA GRANDE dressed in last minute cosplay for a Halloween party. I heard one line... ONE LINE from her and the delivery is NOTHING like Glinda's character or cadence, it's just Ari in drama class.

The wigs and costumes. What the hell was the makeup and hair crew thinking when they selected that wig for Arianna???? It's an ashy dull blonde that brings no color or life to the character. The #1 thing about Glinda is her vibrant blonde hair, it's even mentioned IN THE SONGS. MULTIPLE TIMES. This wig looks like a botched bleach job. Then, there's the costumes. Good lord what are those glasses on Elphaba's face??? I get they're trying to be all "whimsy" and "peculiar" in tone with WOZ, but they just look silly. Why not stick to the glasses in the musical? Why overdo it? I fear how the Emerald City sunglasses will look (if they even add those in) Also why are Glinda's clothes so dull? Where's the vibrance? Where's the pink frilly coquette contrast to Elphaba's dark coquette?

The camera work and Elphaba's entrance. This is Wicked the musical. I'm expecting a huge and grandiose presentation, especially when it comes to THE MAIN CHARACTER. Showing Elphaba from the back of her head in slow motion while she's walking to the entrance is just... boring and an overused cliche. Not to mention the underwhelming reactions from the extras. The cinematography is just meh. I'm expecting better for a fantasy film. It's been done before.

Cynthia as Elphaba. Listen, Cynthia is a great singer and talented actress. I have absolutely nothing against her. With that being said I'm going to be brutally honest: much like Arianna, she is not Elphaba... at least not entirely. Like Johnathan, Cynthia is way older than Elphaba is meant to be canonically and the editing team clearly used the de-aging filter on her to the point where it looks unnatural. If this movie had been made at least five years ago or earlier Cynthia would've fit perfectly.

Continuing my point with Cynthia: the singing. I'm sorry but what the hell was that riff with Defying Gravity??? I'm not entirely blaming Cynthia for this because this has become a massive problem with a lot of musical film adaptations which I like to call the popification of songs. It happens in nearly all the live-action Disney movies and I'm sick of it. What confuses me is STEPHEN FUCKING SCHWARTZ is involved in the musical production. He wrote the god damn songs, how the hell does he not direct Cynthia to sing the right note instead of letting her do whatever she wants??? I don't think he did that with Idina, which is why this riff is so iconic. Come on, if a tiktok meme trend can do that riff better and more accurately than an actual singer can, that's just embarrassing. I'm not good at explaining myself in terms of singing, so I'm hoping a youtuber I occassionally watch does a reaction video to the trailer and does a better job at explaining than I can.

The acting. Like I said with Arianna, the delivery is so bland and dry. I'm trying not to judge all of the acting on a teaser trailer but if this is how the leads are going to act throughout the whole movie then I'm disappointed.

Too much CGI in some parts. I get it. This is a fantasy movie there's bound to be certain effects you can't do practically. But that's no excuse when this is a $145 million dollar movie. The flying monkeys are so painfully obvious CGI. This was a wasted chance to get Doug Motherfucking Jones to play Chistery in prosthetics. So much of this movie ends up looking like those garbage Oz spinoffs. (If you know you know) The CGI is just bad. The bubble and Emerald City buildings look so cheap.

WHY IS THIS MOVIE SO DARK? This is suppossed to be OZ! Why do I have to turn up my brightness to look into the shadow realm???

Now onto some things I'm confused about.

Michelle Yeoh as Madame Morrible. I'm praying to god she'll blow us away because she's such a good actress and is serving c*nt in her costumes. I haven't heard her sing (I'm dumb but unless the opera song she sang in EEAAO was her then WOW!)

The silver slippers. I KNOW! I KNOW! The ruby slippers are copyrighted and can't be thrown in all nilly willy wherever you please. But keep in mind this is a 145 MILLION DOLLAR MOVIE ALL FOR PART ONE. Do not tell me they couldn't shill a few extra bucks on signing a few contracts. AND YES I KNOW. The musical uses the silver slippers in the first act in ode to the L. Frank Baum books which I love, but don't forget, they turn red when Elphaba enchants them to give Nessa the ability to walk. Dorothy shows up after Nessa is killed and has her shoes stolen. Why aren't they red now? Not to mention most of the audience might not know the original slippers in the books were silver. This would've been a great chance to combine two different canons.

WHO IS PLAYING DR. DILLAMOND???? ifitisjamescordenandyouusecrappycgiiwillgotoyourhousejohnchuand-

Finally, why did John Chu absolutely insist on this being a two parter movie with a year long intermission? Is this shit show really that fantastical that it can be akin to Kill Bill part 1 and 2?

That's pretty much it for now but expect an update to this post with a reblog with updated thoughts when an official trailer drops. My mind probably won't change though. I'm totalllllyyy not considering pulling an Eddy Burback sneaking into Morbius for a week when this movie comes out lol.

Universal Studios and AMC theaters that was a joke please for the love of god do not send Nicole Kidman after me.

#anyways can't wait for the reactionary misogynist reactionary videos pumped out like garbage by neckbeards talking about “woke culture” #I'm already seeing it in the comment section #I'm going to go stick to better fics that get Wicked right #wicked movie

[tyrantisterror]

"A third one of these?"

"Yes please," I say, taking the hot chocolate from the waiter and immediately licking all the whipped cream off like a filthy animal. "It's self indulgent, I know, but maybe it's what I need right now."

"Ok, you're going through something, so do what you have to do," said the twenty foot tall lady with the horns and the sharp teeth and whatnot. "But if this is going to keep going it might need a bit more thought put into it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, is this a self insert thing? Like, we're all breaking the fourth wall here, but you specifically talk as if you're the writer, so are you actually the person writing this self indulgent fantasy in the reality of said fantasy, or a proxy?"

"I kind of think all characters are just facets of the authors who create them. When you break it down, they're all the author doing the 'what if' work of becoming someone else - a thought exercise, you know? 'What would have to happen in my life to make me this character?' basically."

"Yeah, sure, very philosophical." She took a sip of her own hot chocolate, which was served in a thoroughly rinsed out oil drum because she was, again, twenty feet tall. "But I'm thinking more about equity here. If you're the real world author, then you're just, like, a guy. No offense."

"None taken."

"Gender neutral guy, to be clear."

"I feel guy is more often gender neutral these days then it is gendered."

"Right, yeah, same wavelength and all, same author. Cool." she ran her clawed talons through the shimmering red-black locks of her hair. "But if you're just the real life author, just some guy, that means you have a name and a fairly mundane appearance. Meanwhile I'm this idealized, decidedly impossible standard of beauty. Like, you literally made me twenty feet tall dude."

"Oh, yeah."

"I've got horns."

"You sure do."

"So, like, is that fair?" Her green eyes pierced through me like lances. Not literally, this time I'm actually using hyperbole, just to be clear. "I mean, I can see how it's enjoyable for you if you're the author, and it's probably, like, morally fine more or less. Any person who experiences sexual attraction is going to fantasize about being with a person who represents their ideal of what's attractive, that's a natural thing."

"Yeah, but that's not super healthy to dwell on, right?" I take a sip of my hot cocoa. It's still warm, but cool enough to drink without burning my tongue. "Because no one's ever able to match an ideal, right? And yet I also think real people are often better than ideals. Like, what I find attractive in people, even just from a physical standpoint, has expanded as I've grown. There are things a younger me found to be imperfections that I now think are beautiful."

"Like big butts and love handles?"

"I mean, Mrs. Incredible set me onto big butts at a young age, I just didn't admit it till later."

"True." She sipped her own hot chocolate. "But we're off track. Are you the author or not? Because if you are, you have, like, a name, and I'm still just the big lady. That's not fair, is it? And I don't think it'd sit right with you if this was imbalanced."

"It does kind of ruin the vibe," I said. "I think I should be a character, then. Like, maybe a thinly veiled author avatar, like how George Costanza is pretty much just a slightly worse Larry David, or how Larry David is just a slightly worse Larry David."

"That's a start," she said with a smile. "So what do you look like, then? Are you idealized like me? What does an idealized author avatar look like to you?"

"...I don't know."

"First thing that pops into your head."

"...Jeff Goldblum?"

"Jeff Goldblum? Why is it always Jurassic Park actors with you?"

"I'm a child of the 90's - wait, plural? Who else did I mention."

"Bryce Dallas Howard," she said. "Oh, wait, that's Jurassic World, isn't it?"

"I think I only mentioned her because she's got a big butt."

"Right."

I shift in my seat uncomfortably. "I don't think I want to be Jeff Goldblum. I mean, I think other people might want me more if I was circa 1993 Jeff Goldblum, but I don't think that would fit me."

"That's fair. So what do you want to be?"

"...something like Vivi from Final Fantasy 9."

She stares at me for a moment. "What."

"You know, the little black mage? Big wizard hat, cool coat, clown pants, head is a black void with pinpricks of light for eyes."

"That's... that's a bonkers ass thing to say. No one wants to get with Vivi."

"Well yeah, he's like nine years old," I say. "Literally a child. But, like, an older Vivi, you know? Adult Vivi."

"So, like, a Black Waltz?"

"Yeah," I say. "Someone out there must want to fuck one of the Black Waltzes."

"Yeah they're pretty hot," she says before taking a sip from her oil drum of hot chocolate. "Kind of surprised you didn't want to be an animate suit of armor."

"I feel like an idealized version of me has to be goofy on some level," I said. "I know goofiness in real life is kind of a mood killer, romance wise, but it's essential to me. I'm a silly clown person."

"With a void for a face."

"And two prinpricks for eyes."

"Right."

She smiles, showing those sharp, railroad spike teeth of hers. "I can work with that."

Jack Black lands, back from his trip to the stratosphere. "Oh, you're doing this again?" he says with a wince. "Isn't that kind of unhealthy and weird?"

"To be fair, Jack Black," I say, "Can't you say the same about starring in Gulliver's Travels?"

"Fair point."

From across the street, Detective Munch looks at us and shakes his head. "Fucking weirdos," he says before turning to his wife, Muncher, and sloppily kissing her on the mouth.

#covid brain #Did You Remember Muncher? #Tumblr is where I have mental breakdowns in public #Weird covid brain self indulgent fic

[pluckysidekick]

Ooo, did you see the Wicked film trailer yet? It dropped during the Super Bowl and gave us some luscious visuals, but barely a hint that it’s a musical.

The First Look also didn’t advertise the fact that it is one of two parts. Part I will be released on Thanksgiving, and Part II some time in 2025. Act I has some great numbers, of course, like ‘Popular’ and ‘Defying Gravity’. But does that means we won’t get Act II’s incredibly romantic ‘As Long As You’re Mine’ until 2025? There was that intriguing moment where Cynthia Erivo’s Elphaba caresses Jonathan Bailey’s cheek, swoon.

Ariana is prominently featured, naturally — she looks at home in Ga-Linda’s bubble:

And how excited are we that Jeff frikin’ Goldblum is The Wizard?!

He’s so perfect, with his combination of humor, dramatics, and wackiness—and he can actually sing, too.

Michelle Yeoh is also brilliantly cast as Madame Morrible, she’s got just the right shades of brilliance and menace. Also, FLYING MONKEYS.

Now, since we have a while to wait for Part I of the film, I thought I’d mention that I happen to have written a CW Nancy Drew musical theater AU, “No One Mourns the Wicked” in case someone’s hungry for Wicked content (yes this is a shameless plug). In this S1 AU, the Drew Crew puts on the first summer stock production of Wicked in Maine. It has a lot of the same flavor of S1 Nancy Drew, with a murder, a water logged ghost in a pink dress(haunting the theater of course), the crew as suspects, but also lots of tie-ins to the story of Wicked, Easter eggs for both the show and the cast, Nancy Drew secondary characters in surprising roles, and of course a lot of Nace (with some 🌶️).

There is definitely singing, and yes it gets very hot and heavy when Nancy and Ace sing ‘As Long as You’re Mine’—more than once.

Speaking of flying monkeys, we do also get to see Ace in a classic S1 ‘Ace’ shirt adorned with them—here’s a visual courtesy of @hucklebucket:

Anyway, I’m excited for the film, and humbly encourage you to check out my fic if you need something to tide you over!

Read No One Mourns the Wicked

#nancy drew #nancy drew cw #nace #ndcw #cw nancy drew #ace hardy #wicked #ariana grande #cynthia erivo #kennedy mcmann #alex saxon #musical theater #jonathan bailey #nace fanfic #nace fanfiction #nancy drew fanfic #nancy drew fanfiction #author: pluckysidekick

[rarelyrad]

I'm just gonna say this once the perfect Halloween costume for K/J/R is the trio from Jurassic Park.

OH MY GOD YES!

Maybe a hot take but I think Roy would be Jeff Goldblum, Jamie would be Dr. Grant

[hallowmoon-art]

Ais: Come with me to the Seaspring.

Leander: ...what...

Ais: MC: my running mate. Welcome. The stage is yours.

MC: Thank you Mr. President. As a testament to Ais's character and judge of thereof. He has chosen me as vice president in this campaign. To say I'm honored would be an understatement of my own achievements so I will just say you're welcome. As Ais's running mate, it is only fitting... that I drop some running hate.

Leander: ?????

MC: To the people of this great city, this man not only offers himself but also myself. AND what is myself? Well I can tell you what myself is not. And myself is not an alcoholic.

Leander: ...hey

MC: Friends! People! Voters! We all saw this week when MY RUNNING MATE'S opponent came out in favor of alcoholism. What is this!? 1956? You just go home at night and watch Madmen and pretend that's how the world still is?

Leander: 😳

MC: Do you want a candidate... with the lily white hands of a man who has never worked a day in his life? *gestures to Leander*

Leander: *looks down at hands in confusion*

MC: OR! Someone with hands so seasoned and robust...*gestures to Ais* that you both imagine them tucking you in at night AND strangling your enemies AT THE SAME TIME? ...There are real issues on the table with this election. Are the people supposed to rally behind a guy who looks like a donkey wearing a Jeff Goldblum mask?

Leander: 👁👄👁

MC: OR! A tried and true man of the people *gestures to Ais* with a smile that doesn't make you want to drown yourself in hot goat piss? ...Yes, right now we are ahead in the polls, but we may not always have this delicious of a lead, but lesbi-honest. Polls are meant to be ridden. Only one person and that person's running mate can bring structure to the city once more. And those two people that I'm talking about are Ais and myself just to be clear. So hashtag "Vote with your racks" and hashtag "Ais for President." That is all I have to say.

Vere: *hooping, hollering, and clapping in the background* The best funeral dirge I've ever heard.

Leander: .....My whole body hurts... I feel like I just got trampled by some sort of livestock....Well thank you everybody for coming... I think I'm going to go throw up now.

#touchstarved game #touchstarvedgame #touchstarved ais #touchstarved leander #touchstarved mc #critical role #touchstarved incorrect quotes

[banannabethchase]

That Jeff Goldblum one...how do we think Lucha would react to Nick's thirsting?

1) Watching Jurassic Park and discussing Jeff Goldblum and that specific shirt he wears (we all know the one)

(you are THE WORST for this one HOW DID IT COME TO THIS IT WAS A JOKE)

~

In His DNA - also on AO3

~

Luchasaurus, it turns out, is a little jealous of the way Nick is lusting after Jeff Goldblum in That Shirt as they watch Jurassic Park.

~

You know the funny thing is I technically did this to myself by creating this prompt for Sarah.

Disclaimer: I don't know what Luchasaurus wrote his undergraduate thesis on, and I doubt it was on monastic same-sex intimacy, but mine was on gender presentation and the methods by which gender roles and expectations were subverted both in action and in the literature of the time, so we're pretending he did the same thing for the sake of authenticity.

Tittle from DNA by Little Mix.

~

It happens first when Jeff Goldblum shows up on the screen in the helicopter, Nick thinks. He shifts in his seat.

"Not into the movie?" Lucha asks, throwing his arm around Nick's shoulders again.

"I am," Nick says, almost too quickly. "Gonna see some of your relatives?"

Lucha laughs, almost darkly, and pulls Nick practically in his lap. Nick expects nudity within seconds, but Lucha turns his face back to the screen, focused. "Not quite," he says with a sigh. He moves Nick around on his lap like he weighs nothing, something that sends an interesting spark down into Nick's dick, but still, Lucha does nothing. Doesn't even try to cop a feel.

So Nick turns back to the screen. Lucha lets out a wistful sigh as the first dinosaur appears. Nick thinks, maybe, he understands it. He felt a similar way the first time he watched The Wrestler.

He squirms again when Jeff Goldblum starts saying, “Life, uh. Finds a way.”

“Jesus,” Lucha growls.

“Are you mad that I find Dr. Malcolm hot?!” Nick asks, incredulous. “Everyone thinks he’s hot!”

“He’s arrogant and his shirt is ridiculous.”

“He’s smart, not arrogant,” Nick says, settling back against Lucha’s chest. “And he looks good. With a chest like that, who wouldn’t show it off.”

“I like your chest,” Lucha says, nuzzling into Nick’s neck. Nick finds himself pulled down against Lucha, nothing but two tee shirts between skin, and he wants to grind down into Lucha’s lap, just a little, just to remind himself of what he might get later, if he’s nice. “And he’s nothing special, my little bird.”

“Oh, come on,” Nick says, because he will not stand for this Dr. Malcolm slander. “He’s the only one standing up to this rich guy! All of his arguments are right.”

"What, you think that's interesting?" Lucha asks. He grabs Nick's thigh and spins him so Nick has his back to the TV, thighs splayed across Luchasaurus' lap. "You like a man with his priorities in order and the guts to say what he means?”

"He's smart and hot," Nick says, trailing a fingertip down Lucha's face, down the mask. "What can I say, I have a type." He's sure to lick his lips, nice and slowly. "Intelligence turns me on."

"Want me to turn you on by talking about the imagery of Ganymede in 16th century monasteries as a representation of male-male intimacy?" Luchasaurus asks. "Or would you rather me talk about the archaeological progress made in the discoveries of dinosaur mating habits." He leans in, bites at Nick's neck.

"I think I know a whole lot about dinosaur mating habits," Nick manages, gasps caught in his throat as Lucha’s hand slides up his neck, circling him like a necklace. “Mm, like – like how some dinosaurs like to fuck their boyfriends over side of the couch.”

Lucha stills. “Boyfriends, huh?”

Nick processes what he’d just said. “Oh. Um.”

“Sure,” Lucha says. “I’ll be your boyfriend,” he laughs a little. “Long as you’ll still call me ‘Daddy’.”

“Yes, Daddy,” Nick says automatically. “Of course.”

Lucha hauls Nick up and throws him on his back onto the couch. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it, little bird,” he growls.

“No, I really do like Jeff -”

Lucha dives down and kisses Nick so hard his brain spins, tongue in his mouth with single-minded determination. Nick keeps his legs hooked around Lucha’s waist, a thrill up his spine as he can feel Lucha’s hard cock rub up against his thigh. “You’re fucking insufferable.”

Nick barely gets a chance to blink before Lucha pulls his shirt off over his head then wraps a hand around Nick’s. He looks up to meet Nick’s eyes.

“Yeah,” Nick says, breathless, “yeah, I hate this shirt.”

Luchasaurus rips the shirt down the middle, and the rush of cold air on Nick’s bare skin is immediately quelled by the raging heat as Luchasaurus presses the two of them together. Nick’s hands fly to his Lucha’s belt and he pulls it out of the loops, pressing the heel of his palm to Luchasaurus’ erection.

Nick grins at the animal sound from Lucha’s lips.

“You be careful, or you’re gonna get more than you’re hoping for,” he says, leaning down and sucking a devastating bruise into Nick’s neck. He arches into it, desperate to connect their bodies in more places.

“Not possible, Daddy,” Nick says with a wink.

Lucha pulls away. Nick’s miserable for a second, then elated as Lucha grabs him by the hips and yanks him off the couch, turning him so he’s half draped over the arm.

“Gonna fuck that attitude right out of you,” Lucha growls. He yanks Nick’s pants down without a warning. “Wait right there. Don’t move.”

“I – what?”

Nick turns his head to see Luchasaurus staring him down. “I said don’t move.”

“S-sorry, Daddy,” Nick stammers, but he does everything he can not to grin. “I’ll be good.”

“I doubt that.”

Nick watches as Luchasaurus leaves the room, and he waits. And waits. It feels like hours, though, logically, he knows it’s no more than a few minutes. He feels vulnerable, jeans down by his ankles, as the anticipation builds. All he wants to do is call out, check in with Luchasaurus.

But Nick was told to be good. And, even if he can’t do it, he’ll try.

Finally, Luchasaurus walks back in the room, looking like a Greek god as he stands, naked, in the doorway. Nick’s mouth begins to water as he gets an eyeful of Lucha’s cock.

“Look at you, little bird,” Lucha says, walking to him slowly. Nick almost feels hunted, like the characters on the screen. “You did as you were told.” He reaches out and slides his hand into Nick’s hair, pulling it back, just a little. “Good boy.”

Nick lets out a wanton moan at that, unable to keep up the act anymore. He wants Lucha and he wants him now, and anything but that might tear him to pieces.

“So pretty,” Lucha says, and Nick feels Lucha’s cock slap against his ass. He wiggles back against it. “Oh, no, that’s not what I want to see right now.” He palms Nick’s ass. “Don’t rush, baby, wait.”

“Please?” Nick whimpers. “I don’t wanna wait.”

Luchasaurus laughs, directly in Nick’s ear. “You don’t want to,” he says, “but you will.”

Nick whimpers again, but he says nothing more, knowing he’ll get what he wants if he just waits. It feels impossible.

There’s a wet, slippery sound, then Nick feels thick, blunt fingers slide between his cheeks, and something damned near relief washes over him as he realizes what’s happening.

“Can I, little bird?” Lucha asks in Nick’s ear. “You don’t know how badly I want to be inside you right now.”

“Yes,” Nick hisses, pressing back against the fingers. “Please, yes. Fuck.”

“Oh,” Lucha says, amused. “You do swear.”

He slides his fingertip along the rim of Nick’s hole, then slowly works Nick open with slow pumps of his hand, adding another finger, then another, all while Nick wails in desperation.

“Please,” Nick gasps. “God, please, fuck me, Lucha, I need it.”

“Who do you want to fuck you?” Luchasaurus asks.

“Daddy, please,” Nick practically sobs.

“Okay,” Lucha murmurs, “because you asked so nicely.”

Nick falls against the couch as Lucha ever so gently pushes his way in, as he finds himself filled in the way he’s been aching for ever since he get to Lucha’s house. “Thank you,” he hears himself saying. He doesn’t mean to, but, then again, he never meant to fuck AEW’s resident dinosaur, but here he is.

“You’re so welcome, baby,” Luchasaurus says.

His thrusts are slow and deliberate, and pick up once Nick gets some of his bearings back, like Lucha knows when Nick needs to be taken apart.

Nick forgets how words work for a while, wanting to speak but not sure how, and sinks into the feeling, into the mind numbing bliss of getting railed into oblivion by – by his boyfriend.

He turns his head to see Jeff Goldblum, sweaty and shirt open, and laughs.

“What’s so funny?”

“Just,” Nick gasps, “Dr. Malcolm looks hot in this scene, you know?”

Lucha gets rougher, harder, slides a hand into Nick’s hair and pulls him back, just enough to get that kind of ache in Nick’s spine. “Yeah? You want him? You wish he was fucking you?”

“No,” Nick says, eyes fluttering shut. “Only – only you, Daddy, only want you.”

“Yeah,” Lucha mutters, gently lowering Nick back down so he can lean on his arms. “Only me.”

Nick’s close already, but the way Luchasaurus gently runs his hand down the middle of his back, a touch so tender it feels like a promise, gets him seconds away so fast it’s dizzying.

“Can – can I, Daddy?” Nick begs. “I need to.”

Luchasaurus pulls Nick’s hips back, pulls Nick so Lucha’s cock sinks so much deeper into him, then wraps a hand around Nick’s cock. Two strokes, that’s all it takes for Nick to come all over the couch with a cry so loud he’d be embarrassed if he wasn’t in heaven.

“Mine,” Luchasaurus growls, and he pulls Nick onto his cock and comes, deep inside Nick. He can feel it filling him up, and he twitches, overstimulated.

“Yours,” Nick promises.

Lucha’s always so gentle as he pulls out, as he scoops Nick up and settles him on the couch. “Hey, little bird,” Lucha says, caressing Nick’s face. “How are you?”

“Great,” Nick says, a little laugh following his words. “So great. I – yeah.” He beams at Luchasaurus. “You’re kinda hot when you’re jealous, you know that?”

“Jesus, you don’t learn, do you.” He leans in and kisses Nick forehead, though, so Nick thinks he’s probably not in trouble.

“Look, Dr. Malcolm is lounging all slutty,” Nick says with a grin.

“You’re insufferable.”

Nick shrugs. “Yeah, you said that already. Do you want to tell me more about that monastery thing?”

Luchasaurus pauses from where he was about to walk into the kitchen, probably to grab Nick a warm towel like always. “You – are you serious?”

Nick nods. “Yeah, that sounds kind of interesting, you know?”

Luchasaurus lights up. “Yeah!” he says. “I wrote my undergraduate these on the same-sex desire present in the architecture and literature around monasteries.”

Thus begins the weirdest pillow talk Nick’s ever experienced. Lucha takes Nick’s hand and walks him to the shower, and washes Nick’s hair with surprising zeal as he says words like Ganymede and Hellenistic and oblation. Nick shuts his eyes, letting it wash over him, and makes affirming noises whenever Luchasaurus pauses.

“I love the enthusiasm,” he mumbles as he starts to feel the exhaustion wash over him, “but I want to remind you I was homeschooled and wrestled instead of college.”

“That’s okay,” Luchasaurus says, pressing a kiss to the top of Nick’s wet and clean head, “thanks for listening.”

“I always like listening to you,” Nick says, and he leans back against Lucha with a giant yawn. “Maybe you can tell it like a bedtime story.”

“Yeah, little bird,” Lucha says, turning him. He leans down and kisses Nick so gently Nick nearly swoons. “I’ll tell it to you like a bedtime story.”

~

Mini Playlist DNA - Little Mix Animal - The Cab Inside of You - Hoobastank ...and the Jurassic Park Main Title - John Williams

Working titles: Jurassic Pork Life, Uh, Finds a Way Hold Onto (Nick's) Butt!

#Sarah this fic is entirely your goldang fault #sarahcakes613 #LuchasaurNick #Nicrowlas #in which Sara writes #E for a reason people #Fuck almighty wrestlefandom has me writing Daddy kink WHO HAVE I #WHO HAVE I BECOME #wtf i like wrestling now???

[mr-independent]

Sorry for the hiatus, i haven't slept in 48 hours 🤷🏻‍♂️

Series 2 episode 1, lessgo

-- 7 consecutive ties is fucking ridiculous tbh. Statistically unlikely at best, especially since the dog died just so it could keep going

-- the slow mo is so good, you can tell their budget fucking tripled going into this series

-- i gotta wonder if the entire show has been planned from day one or if they just keep rewatching and keeping track of little things as they go

-- Keeley's imitation of Ted is hilarious

-- Ted making every journo nearly cry talking about a dog he had for only a year in high school... The power this man has. Especially over Trent, who looked as besotted as me in high school when i watched Independence Day for the first time and discovered that Jeff Goldblum could be nerdy, sweet, and Hot all at once

-- Ted. Diane Sawyer is 77 years old. Why do you want to date someone nearly 30 years older than you?? ... Ok yes fine thats hypocritical coming from me after that last bullet point. I concede my point.

-- Bearded Roy actually looks more like Grouch lmao

-- you know when i first watched this ep i thought Roy hated pundits bc he thought they were generally stupid, but knowing what we know now about his past with Trent Crimm....

-- 'i wish I was Keeley 3 or 4 times a day' me too, Ted, me too

-- Ted's introduction to girl talk 🥰

-- Beard subtly trying to convince Ted not all therapists are trying to fuck him over before we even know the background is so touching

-- WAIT THE COUPLES THERAPIST USED TO BE MICHELLES REGUALR THERAPIST??? And now they're dating??? That man is violating so many rules...

-- Roy probably only knows Rebecca through Keeley - she doesn't interact much with the players, at least on screen, and he's still telling her she deserves someone who makes her feel like she's got struck by lightning

-- Sharon getting people to tell the gods honest truth within like 5 sec of meeting them is such an enviable skill

-- Sassy coming in with the bars 'intimacy is leaving yourself open to being attacked'. Sounds like a lasso-ism tbh, which means Rebecca has a very particular taste in friends

-- Ted's hair when Dani gets over the yips is so endearingly tousled 😍

-- Dani describing Dr Sharon sounds like every time i try to talk abt therapy with my friends lmao. It's incomprehensible at best

-- How did Roy meet the yoga mums? Why did they invite this strange sour hairy man to their nights of yoga and the bachelor? I have many questions...

#ted lasso #teddy rewatches ted

[virginiaisforhaters]

independence day isnt like, the best movie in the world. but its diverse without feeling forced which is nice. the most badass female character is an exotic dancer who states that she loves her job because she makes good money and it allows her to provide for her son. a jewish man prominently leads a group in the sh’ma koleinu prayer during the attack, welcoming everyone into the prayer circle (even the arrogant bad guy who is terrified and looking for comfort “im not jewish” “nobodys perfect”). when the attack happens that exotic dancer character gets herself a big ass city truck and drives around picking up injured people and saving them. the DOG DOESNT DIE. the two main characters, the heroes, a black fighter pilot and a jewish computer nerd save the world. the president asks a group of pilots to risk their lives to help save the world, and then he joins them. 90s will smith was there being peak hilarious 90s will smith. data from star trek is there giving hot mad scientist on an acid trip energy. jeff goldblum.... yes thank you. they dont make them like this anymore

[fils91]

Big Mouth Season 6 Review

First off, Lola is the Eric Cartman of the show. Born to a slut mother (but not born to a dad that she unknowingly killed and fed to her half-brother or sister), total sociopath, taking stupid shit to court like getting burnt on Hot Pockets and spending the money on more of them... Trey Parker and Matt Stone should consider suing, is what I'm saying.

Marty is still a verbally abusive asshole and Diane is still a hateful cunt (as is Leah with being verbally abusive towards Andrew after using Elliot’s Bluetooth-equipped penis trap) and both Barbara and Elliot deserve better. Speaking of Elliot, ooo boy, what a history on him. But I hate how he’s become abrasive as well. And it’s sad to see Barbara and Marty’s relationship falling apart.

The Birch siblings are Scottish, Andrew is Russian-Jewish and Missy is partially Nigerian. And Jay has a shitload of bastard half-brothers who want fuck-all to do with him.

Jeff Goldblum as the Apple Broche? Hell yes! And the live-action Steve-O cameo via Cameo was easily the funniest part of the season.

The third episode repulsed me so much (I'm aware that was the point, btw, but there's only so much that I can handle) that I nearly got physically ill. Though I'm certain it additionally had to do with the beer mixed with homemade eggnog, which I don't think was a great idea to do homemade. Next time I should buy that stuff from the store.

Andrew and Bernie were a thing until she left him for another boy with dat ass. They really went there, huh? Andrew will never catch a break.

Nice to see the show touching on asexuality with new guy Elijah.

Season finale is another mind fuck finale. The kids have swapped bodies with others. Like last season, I did not slip hallucinogens in my beer-laced eggnog. Does every season finale of this always gotta be this way? But everything, once again, is now all copacetic.

Except not, because Jay and Matthew are no longer together. I'm getting real tired of my emotions getting fucked around like that. They teased Jay and Matthew since the 2nd season, made them official last season and now they swept the rug from under us this season. I have hope that they'll reconcile next season.

#big mouth netflix #big mouth

[reginaldqueribundus]

movies I recently watched

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (1984)

Buckaroo Banzai (Peter Weller) — yes that’s his name — is a neurosurgeon / rock star / racecar driver who sometimes works for the US President and also does weird science experiments. After he drives his rocket-truck through another dimension a mad scientist (played by John Lithgow as a crackhead with a bad Italian accent) tries to steal his technology thingy to free a bunch of alien war criminals trapped inside a mountain, and the other aliens are going to start a nuclear war with Russia if Buckaroo B. doesn’t stop them in time. Meanwhile he falls in love with a random lady who tries to shoot herself at one of his concerts and might be his dead wife’s identical twin. The film also features Jeff Goldblum as a doctor who dresses like a cowboy and Christopher Lloyd as an alien named “John Bigbooty”. And Clancy Brown, too!

There is way too much going on in this movie but it’s still kind of fun, and the weird cast makes it worthwhile. 6.5/10

Vesper (2022)

Vesper (Raffiella Chapman) is just your average girl who became a self-taught biogenetic engineer in hopes of gaining entrance to one of the Citadels where all the rich people live in comfort and safety from the world they destroyed. Her dad has Bedridden Movie Parent Disease but he controls a floating robot head that follows her around. This is one of those indie films starring a bunch of people you’ve never heard of except That One Guy (in this case Eddie Marsan as Vesper’s creepy uncle who I think wants to marry her? ewww). I enjoyed it except for one weird scene where Eddie Marsan kinda fingers a sci-fi lady’s neck vagina.

The plot is a hurricane of sci-fi tropes we’ve seen before, but the acting and production design are so good it doesn’t matter. 8/10

Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)

Evelyn Wang (Michelle Yeoh) is a Chinese-American laundromat owner who just can't seem to get along with her gay daughter, her annoying husband, her disapproving elderly father, or the IRS. Naturally she’s also the chosen one who has to save the multiverse by brain-hijacking alternate versions of herself who have done way cooler stuff than her. Also James Hong, Sigourney Weaver and the guy who played Short Round are there.

This is a movie where Michelle Yeoh rides a teppanyaki chef down the street like a bicycle, desperately kung fu fights a man to stop him from shoving something up his ass, and has a passionate sapphic relationship with her IRS auditor in a universe where humans have hot dogs for fingers. What else can I say about it? It’s like Rick and Morty but somehow stupider and way more optimistic. Ultimately it’s less about the road not taken and more about connecting with the people in your life, here and now. I liked it. 9/10

Nope (2022)

OJ & his sister Em (Daniel Kaluuya & Keke Palmer) are trying to keep their dad’s movie stunt horse ranch afloat, but thar’s aliens in them thar hills. Along comes Ricky Park (Steven Yeun), a failed child actor / theme park owner who lost his capacity for good decision-making when he witnessed a chimp murder at the age of 9, to make everything worse. With the help of the world’s most dedicated Geek Squad member and a pretentious Hollywood filmmaker who talks like a chainsaw that smokes five packs a day, can the siblings get a video of the aliens and get rich? And, y’know, not die?

This is one of those movies where everything is a spoiler, but that somehow doesn’t reduce its rewatch value. A horror film in the truest sense of the word. It probably won’t jumpscare you, but you’ll be thinking about it for days. 9.5/10

#movie reviews #nope 2022 #vesper #everything everywhere all at once #the adventures of buckaroo banzai across the 8th dimension #a post by me™

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2023

I re-watched The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension (1984)

This was a movie I regularly watched as a kid. It taught me that some movies are so bad they're good, and that others are so ridiculous they're inexplicably awesome.

A half American half Japanese rockstar neuroscientist surgeon, and his band of amazing dudes, take on aliens and a mad scientist after experiencing the 8th dimension while passing through solid matter. Phew.

From the opening scroll of information about who Buckaroo Banzai is, till the end credits which is just a scene of the band walking to the main theme, Buckaroo Banzai never stops being one of the weirdest and most entertaining movies to come out of the 1980's.

The movie, like it's lead hero, is just a bunch of cool shit smashed together to create some fort of amazing sci Fi comic book story.

The amount of up and coming stars is pretty amazing as well. Peter Weller, Jeff Goldblum, Clancy Brown, John Lithgow, Christopher Lloyd, Ellen Barkin, etc... All of them signing on to this strange nonsense movie for whatever reason.

The plot is overcomplicated in the best way. What other movie gives you other dimensions, two kinds of aliens (some of them named after butts), a rock and roll show, a mad scientist, assassination attempts, a romance with a girl named Penny Priddy who happens to be the twin sister of Buckaroo's dead wife, etc...etc...

Obviously, due to is general weirdness and difficult to follow plot, the movie was a financial and critical flop. It's a messy and weird mish mash of stuff happening. But, it just so happens that all that stuff is pretty fucking fun to follow along with.

The jokes and dialogue make sense, I guess. But, everything is so strange feeling that it's like living through a fever dream of sorts. It makes sense, I promise you it does, but it might feel like you missed something along the way.

Buckaroo Banzai is an attempt at world building that takes very little time to ingratiate you to the world it's building. The movie comes from the universe where Buckaroo Banzai is super famous, and this is just one of his many many adventures against a world of wild villains.

This other dimension out there, where this movie spawned endless sequels and merchandise and became one of the great franchises, is part of the fun of the movie. It's even a little bit part of the story and lore of Buckaroo Banzai that everyone, including you, knows who he is. Even if you don't.

There is something so honest and earnest here that it feels like someone asked a kid to make a movie. Yes there are some things you could see as problematic, but the intention was so innocent, you can't explain exactly how it bothers you.

The movie shouldn't work, and in many many many ways it doesn't work. It could be considered terrible on its face and that wouldn't be a wrong assessment. But it's not terrible. In fact, it's fantastic on a level. Whenever you think it's too bad, it just doubles down by throwing more strange and ridiculous shit at you.

The special effects are cheap and rubbery and silly. And I mean very very cheap lol. The costumes stretch from cool 80's suits to full cowboy outfits and silver alien future wear right out of 1950's sci Fi. The bad guys are goofy, yet a tad bit creepy and gross. John Lithgow is absolutely over the top as Dr. lizardo.

Overall, it's just an incredibly cheesy adventure that somehow got made, despite the fact that no one involved seems to have known what was happening while making it.

Plus, Ellen Barkin is at prime hotness. That's just a personal plus for me.

#buckaroo banzai #the adventures of buckaroo banzai across the 8th dimension

[panicatthefandomboy]

#suez canal #beavers #damn #dam #jurrasic park #jeff goldblum #that sexy mofo #meme #shitpost #yes jeff goldblum is hot #you can't judge me it's a fact #evergreen #boaty mcboatface

[ingravinoveritas]

Me watching RuPaul’s Secret Celebrity Drag Race when all of the “celebrities” were revealed:

#rupaul's drag race #celebrity drag race #rpdr #rpdr 12 #drag race #i guess that must be what the secret is #bob the drag queen #trixie mattel #monet x change #they seem nice but... #why #also i'm glad Jackie stayed #that speech was beyond poignant #also Jeff Goldblum plz call me #weird and hot is just my type #yes

[lasersheith]

#my cousin sent this to me and I'm mad #notsheith #actually jeff #🤔🤔🤔 would i call jeff goldblum daddy and feed him hot wings #yes #yes i would