#you see a page and it says ‘last updated 84 years ago’

[ahouseoflies]

The Best Films of 2020

I can’t tell you anything novel or insightful about this year that has been stolen from our lives. I watched zero of these films in a theater, and I watched most of them half-asleep in moments that I stole from my children. Don’t worry, there are some jokes below.

GARBAGE

93. Capone (Josh Trank)- What is the point of this dinner theater trash? It takes place in the last year of Capone's life, when he was released from prison due to failing health and suffered a stroke in his Florida home. So it covers...none of the things that make Al Capone interesting? It's not historically accurate, which I have no problem with, but if you steer away from accuracy, then do something daring and exciting. Don't give me endless scenes of "Phonse"--as if the movie is running from the very person it's about--drawing bags of money that promise intrigue, then deliver nothing in return.

That being said, best "titular character shits himself" scene since The Judge.

92. Ammonite (Francis Lee)- I would say that this is the Antz to Portrait of a Lady on Fire's A Bug's Life, but it's actually more like the Cars 3 to Portrait of a Lady on Fire's Toy Story 1.

91. Ava (Tate Taylor)- Despite the mystery and inscrutability that usually surround assassins, what if we made a hitman movie but cared a lot about her personal life? Except neither the assassin stuff nor the family stuff is interesting?

90. Wonder Woman 1984 (Patty Jenkins)- What a miscalculation of what audiences loved about the first and wanted from the sequel. WW84 is silly and weightless in all of the ways that the first was elegant and confident. If the return of Pine is just a sort of phantom representation of Diana's desires, then why can he fly a real plane? If he is taking over another man's soul, then, uh, what ends up happening to that guy? For that matter, why is it not 1984 enough for Ronald Reagan to be president, but it is 1984 enough for the president to have so many Ronald Reagan signifiers that it's confusing? Why not just make a decision?

On paper, the me-first values of the '80s lend themselves to the monkey's paw wish logic of this plot. You could actually do something with the Star Wars program or the oil crisis. But not if the setting is played for only laughs and the screenplay explains only what it feels like.

89. Babyteeth (Shannon Murphy)- In this type of movie, there has to be a period of the Ben Mendelsohn character looking around befuddled about the new arrangement and going, "What's this now--he's going to be...living with us? The guy who tried to steal our medication? This is crazy!" But that's usually ten minutes, and in this movie it's an hour. I was so worn out by the end.

88. You Should Have Left (David Koepp)- David Koepp wrote Jurassic Park, so he's never going to hell, but how dare he start caring about his own mystery at the hour mark. There's a forty-five minute version of this movie that could get an extra star from me, and there's a three-hour version of Amanda Seyfried walking around in athleisure that would get four stars from me. What we actually get? No thanks.

87. Black Is King (Beyonce, et al.)- End your association with The Lion King, Bey. It has resulted in zero bops.

  ADMIRABLE FAILURES

86. Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (Cathy Yan)- There's nothing too dysfunctional in the storytelling or performances, but Birds of Prey also doesn't do a single thing well. I would prefer something alive and wild, even if it were flawed, to whatever tame belt-level formula this is.

85. The Turning (Floria Sigismondi)- This update of The Turn of the Screw pumps the age of Miles up to high school, which creates some horny creepiness that I liked. But the age of the character also prevents the ending of the novel from happening in favor of a truly terrible shrug. I began to think that all of the patience that the film showed earlier was just hesitance for its own awful ending.

I watched The Turning as a Mackenzie Davis Movie Star heat check, and while I'm not sure she has the magnetism I was looking for, she does have a great teacher voice, chastening but maternal.

84. Bloodshot (David Wilson)- A whole lot of Vin Diesel saying he's going to get revenge and kill a bunch of dudes; not a whole lot of Vin Diesel actually getting revenge and killing a bunch of dudes.

83. Downhill (Nat Faxon and Jim Rash)- I was an English major in college, which means I ended up locking myself into literary theories that, halfway through the writing of an essay, I realized were flawed. But rather than throw out the work that I had already proposed, I would just keep going and see if I could will the idea to success.

So let's say you have a theory that you can take Force Majeure by Ruben Ostlund, one of the best films of its year, and remake it so that its statement about familial anxiety could apply to Americans of the same age and class too...if it hadn't already. And maybe in the first paragraph you mess up by casting Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, people we are conditioned to laugh at, when maybe this isn't that kind of comedy at all. Well, don't throw it away. You can quote more--fill up the pages that way--take an exact shot or scene from the original. Does that help? Maybe you can make the writing more vigorous and distinctive by adding a character. Is that going to make this baby stand out? Maybe you could make it more personal by adding a conclusion that is slightly more clever than the rest of the paper?

Or perhaps this is one you're just not going to get an A on.

82. Hillbilly Elegy (Ron Howard)- I watched this melodrama at my mother's encouragement, and, though I have been trying to pin down her taste for decades, I think her idea of a successful film just boils down to "a lot of stuff happens." So in that way, Ron Howard's loss is my gain, I guess.

There is no such thing as a "neutral Terminator."

81. Relic (Natalie Erika James)- The star of the film is Vanessa Cerne's set decoration, but the inert music and slow pace cancel out a house that seems neglected slowly over decades.

80. Buffaloed (Tanya Wexler)- Despite a breathless pace, Buffaloed can't quite congeal. In trying to split the difference between local color hijinks and Moneyballed treatise on debt collection, it doesn't commit enough to either one.

Especially since Zoey Deutch produced this one in addition to starring, I'm getting kind of worried about boo's taste. Lot of Two If by Seas; not enough While You Were Sleepings.

79. Like a Boss (Miguel Arteta)- I chuckled a few times at a game supporting cast that is doing heavy lifting. But Like a Boss is contrived from the premise itself--Yeah, what if people in their thirties fell out of friendship? Do y'all need a creative consultant?--to the escalation of most scenes--Why did they have to hide on the roof? Why do they have to jump into the pool?

The movie is lean, but that brevity hurts just as much as it helps. The screenplay knows which scenes are crucial to the development of the friendship, but all of those feel perfunctory, in a different gear from the setpieces.  

To pile on a bit: Studio comedies are so bare bones now that they look like Lifetime movies. Arteta brought Chuck & Buck to Sundance twenty years ago, and, shot on Mini-DV for $250,000, it was seen as a DIY call-to-bootstraps. I guarantee that has more setups and locations and shooting days than this.

78. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (David Dobkin)- Add Dan Stevens to the list of supporting players who have bodied Will Ferrell in his own movie--one that he cared enough to write himself.  

Like Downhill, Ferrell's other 2020 release, this isn't exactly bad. It's just workmanlike and, aside from the joke about Demi Lovato's "uninformed" ghost, frustratingly conventional.

77. The Traitor (Marco Bellochio)- Played with weary commitment by Pierfrancesco Favino, Tomasso Buscetta is "credited" as the first informant of La Cosa Nostra. And that sounds like an interesting subject for a "based on a true story" crime epic, right? Especially when you find out that Buscetta became a rat out of principle: He believed that the mafia to which he had pledged his life had lost its code to the point that it was a different organization altogether.  

At no point does Buscetta waver or even seem to struggle with his decision though, so what we get is less conflicted than that description might suggest. None of these Italian mob movies glorify the lifestyle, so I wasn't expecting that. But if the crime doesn't seem enticing, and snitching on the crime seems like forlorn duty, and everything is pitched with such underhanded matter-of-factness that you can't even be sure when Buscetta has flipped, then what are we left with? It was interesting seeing how Italian courts work, I guess?

76. Kajillionaire (Miranda July)- This is another movie so intent on building atmosphere and lore that it takes too long to declare what it is. When the protagonist hits a breaking point and has to act, she has only a third of a film to grow. So whispery too.

Gina Rodriguez is the one to inject life into it. As soon as her motormouth winds up, the film slips into a different gear. The atmosphere and lore that I mentioned reeks of artifice, but her character is believably specific. Beneath a basic exterior is someone who is authentically caring but still morally compromised, beholden to the world that the other characters are suspicious of.

75. Scoob! (Tony Cervone)- The first half is sometimes clever, but it hammers home the importance of friendship while separating the friends.

The second half has some positive messaging, but your kids' movie might have a problem with scale if it involves Alexander the Great unlocking the gates of the Underworld.

My daughter loved it.

74. The Lovebirds (Michael Showalter)- If I start talking too much about this perfectly fine movie, I end up in that unfair stance of reviewing the movie I wanted, not what is actually there.* As a fan of hang-out comedies, I kind of resent that any comedy being made now has to be rolled into something more "exciting," whether it's a wrongfully accused or mistaken identity thriller or some other genre. Such is the post-Game Night world. There's a purposefully anti-climactic note that I wish The Lovebirds had ended on, but of course we have another stretch of hiding behind boats and shooting guns. Nanjiani and Rae are really charming leads though.

*- As a New Orleanian, I was totally distracted by the fake aspects of the setting too. "Oh, they walked to Jefferson from downtown? Really?" You probably won't be bothered by the locations.

73. Sonic the Hedgehog (Jeff Fowler)- In some ways the storytelling is ambitious. (I'm speaking for only myself, but I'm fine with "He's a hedgehog, and he's really fast" instead of the owl mother, teleportation backstory. Not everything has to be Tolkien.) But that ambition doesn't match the lack of ambition in the comedy, which depends upon really hackneyed setups and structures. Guiding Jim Carrey to full alrighty-then mode was the best choice anyone made.

72. Malcolm & Marie (Sam Levinson)- The stars move through these long scenes with agility and charisma, but the degree of difficulty is just too high for this movie to reach what it's going for.

Levinson is trying to capture an epic fight between a couple, and he can harness the theatrical intensity of such a thing, but he sacrifices almost all of the nuance. In real life, these knock-down-drag-outs can be circular and indirect and sad in a way that this couple's manipulation rarely is. If that emotional truth is all this movie is trying to achieve, I feel okay about being harsh in my judgment of how well it does that.

71. Beanpole (Kantemir Balagov)- Elusive in how it refuses to declare itself, forthright in how punishing it is. The whole thing might be worth it for a late dinner scene, but I'm getting a bit old to put myself through this kind of misery.

70. The Burnt Orange Heresy (Giuseppe Capotondi)- Silly in good ways until it's silly in bad ways. Elizabeth Debicki remains 6'3".

69. Everybody’s Everything (Sebastian Jones and Ramez Silyan)- As a person who listened to Lil Peep's music, I can confidently say that this documentary is overstating his greatness. His death was a significant loss, as the interview subjects will all acknowledge, but the documentary is more useful as a portrait of a certain unfocused, rapacious segment of a generation that is high and online at all times.

68. The Witches (Robert Zemeckis)- Robert Zemeckis, Kenya Barris, and Guillermo Del Toro are the credited screenwriters, and in a fascinating way, you can see the imprint of each figure on the final product. Adapting a very European story to the old wives' tales of the American South is an interesting choice. Like the Nicolas Roeg try at this material, Zemeckis is not afraid to veer into the terrifying, and Octavia Spencer's pseudo witch doctor character only sells the supernatural. From a storytelling standpoint though, it seems as if the obstacles are overcome too easily, as if there's a whole leg of the film that has been excised. The framing device and the careful myth-making of the flashback make promises that the hotel half of the film, including the abrupt ending, can't live up to.

If nothing else, Anne Hathaway is a real contender for Most On-One Performance of the year.

67. Irresistible (Jon Stewart)- Despite a sort of imaginative ending, Jon Stewart's screenplay feels more like the declarative screenplay that would get you hired for a good movie, not a good screenplay itself. It's provocative enough, but it's clumsy in some basic ways and never evades the easy joke.

For example, the Topher Grace character is introduced as a sort of assistant, then is re-introduced an hour later as a polling expert, then is shown coaching the candidate on presentation a few scenes later. At some point, Stewart combined characters into one role, but nothing got smoothed out.

ENDEARING CURIOSITIES WITH BIG FLAWS

66. Yes, God, Yes (Karen Maine)- Most people who are Catholic, including me, are conflicted about it. Most people who make movies about being Catholic hate it and have an axe to grind. This film is capable of such knowing wit and nuance when it comes to the lived-in details of attending a high school retreat, but it's more concerned with taking aim at hypocrisy in the broad way that we've seen a million times. By the end, the film is surprisingly all-or-nothing when Christian teenagers actually contain multitudes.

Part of the problem is that Karen Maine's screenplay doesn't know how naive to make the Alice character. Sometimes she's reasonably naive for a high school senior in 2001; sometimes she's comically naive so that the plot can work; and sometimes she's stupid, which isn't the same as naive.

65. Bad Boys for Life (Adil El Arbi and Bilall Fallah)- This might be the first buddy cop movie in which the vets make peace with the tech-comm youngs who use new techniques. If that's the only novelty on display here--and it is--then maybe that's enough. I laughed maybe once. Not that the mistaken identity subplot of Bad Boys 1 is genius or anything, but this entry felt like it needed just one more layer to keep it from feeling as basic as it does. Speaking of layers though, it's almost impossible to watch any Will Smith movie now without viewing it through the meta-narrative of "What is Will Smith actually saying about his own status at this point in his career?" He's serving it up to us.

I derived an inordinate amount of pleasure from seeing the old school Simpson/Bruckheimer logo.

64. The Gentlemen (Guy Ritchie)- Look, I'm not going to be too negative on a movie whose crime slang is so byzantine that it has to be explained with subtitles. That's just me. I'm a simple man. But I can tell you that I tuned out pretty hard after seven or eight double-crosses.

The bloom is off the rose a bit for Ritchie, but he can still nail a music cue. I've been waiting for someone to hit "That's Entertainment" the way he does on the end credits.

63. Bad Hair (Justin Simien)- In Bad Hair, an African-American woman is told by her boss at a music video channel in 1989 that straightening her hair is the way to get ahead; however, her weave ends up having a murderous mind of its own. Compared to that charged, witty logline, the execution of the plot itself feels like a laborious, foregone conclusion. I'm glad that Simien, a genuinely talented writer, is making movies again though. Drop the skin-care routine, Van Der Beek!

62. Greyhound (Aaron Schneider)- "If this is the type of role that Tom Hanks writes for himself, then he understands his status as America's dad--'wise as the serpent, harmless as the dove'--even better than I thought." "America's Dad! Aye aye, sir!" "At least half of the dialogue is there for texture and authenticity, not there to be understood by the audience." "Fifty percent, Captain!" "The environment looks as fake as possible, but I eventually came around to the idea that the movie is completely devoid of subtext." "No subtext to be found, sir!"

  61. Mank (David Fincher)- About ten years ago, the Creative Screenwriting podcast spent an hour or so with James Vanderbilt, the writer of Zodiac and nothing else that comes close, as he relayed the creative paces that David Fincher pushed him through. Hundreds of drafts and years of collaborative work eventuated in the blueprint for Fincher's most exacting, personal film, which he didn't get a writing credit on only because he didn't seek one.

Something tells me that Fincher didn't ask for rewrites from his dead father. No matter what visuals and performances the director can coax from the script--and, to be clear, these are the worst visuals and performances of his career--they are limited by the muddy lightweight pages. There are plenty of pleasures, like the slippery election night montage or the shakily platonic relationship between Mank and Marion. But Fincher hadn't made a film in six years, and he came back serving someone else's master.

60. Tesla (Michael Almereyda)- "You live inside your head." "Doesn't everybody?"

As usual, Almereyda's deconstructions are invigorating. (No other moment can match the first time Eve Hewson's Anne fact-checks something with her anachronistic laptop.) But they don't add up to anything satisfying because Tesla himself is such an opaque figure. Driven by the whims of his curiosity without a clear finish line, the character gives Hawke something enigmatic to play as he reaches deep into a baritone. But he's too inward to lend himself to drama. Tesla feels of a piece with Almereyda's The Experimenter, and that's the one I would recommend.

59. Vitalina Varela (Pedro Costa)- I can't oversell how delicately beautiful this film is visually. There's a scene in which Vitalina lugs a lantern into a church, but we get several seconds of total darkness before that one light source carves through it and takes over part of the frame. Each composition is as intricate as it is overpowering, achieving a balance between stark and mannered.

That being said, most of the film is people entering or exiting doors. I felt very little of the haunting loss that I think I was supposed to.

58. The Rhythm Section (Reed Morano)- Call it the Timothy Hutton in The General's Daughter Corollary: If a name-actor isn't in the movie much but gets third billing, then, despite whom he sends the protagonist to kill, he is the Actual Bad Guy.  

Even if the movie serves up a lot of cliche, the action and sound design are visceral. I would like to see more from Morano.

57. Red, White and Blue (Steve McQueen)- Well-made and heartfelt even if it goes step-for-step where you think it will.

Here's what I want to know though: In the academy training sequence, the police cadets have to subdue a "berserker"; that is, a wildman who swings at their riot gear with a sledgehammer. Then they get him under control, and he shakes their hands, like, "Good angle you took on me there, mate." Who is that guy and where is his movie? Is this full-time work? Is he a police officer or an independent contractor? What would happen if this exercise didn't go exactly as planned?

56. Wolfwalkers (Tomm Moore and Ross Stewart)- The visuals have an unfinished quality that reminded me of The Tale of Princess Kaguya--the center of a flame is undrawn white, and fog is just negative space. There's an underlying symmetry to the film, and its color palette changes with mood.

Narratively, it's pro forma and drawn-out. Was Riley in Inside Out the last animated protagonist to get two parents? My daughter stuck with it, but she needed a lot of context for the religious atmosphere of 17th century Ireland.

55. What She Said: The Art of Pauline Kael (Rob Garver)- The film does little more than one might expect; it's limited in the way that any visual medium is when trying to sum up a woman of letters. But as far as education for Kael's partnership with Warren Beatty or the idea of The New Yorker paying her for only six months out of the year, it was useful for me.  

Although Garver isn't afraid to point to the work that made Kael divisive, it would have been nice to have one or two interview subjects who questioned her greatness, rather than the crew of Paulettes who, even when they do say something like, "Sometimes I radically disagreed with her," do it without being able to point to any specifics.

54. Beastie Boys Story (Spike Jonze)- As far as this Spike Jonze completist is concerned, this is more of a Powerpoint presentation than a movie, Beastie Boys Story still warmed my heart, making me want to fire up Paul's Boutique again and take more pictures of my buddies.

53. Tenet (Christopher Nolan)- Cool and cold, tantalizing and frustrating, loud and indistinct, Tenet comes close to Nolan self-parody, right down to the brutalist architecture and multiple characters styled like him. The setpieces grabbed me, I'll admit.

Nolan's previous film, which is maybe his best, was "about" a lot and just happened to play with time; Tenet is only about playing with time.

PRETTY GOOD MOVIES

52. Shithouse (Cooper Raiff)- "Death is ass."

There's such a thing as too naturalistic. If I wanted to hear how college freshmen really talked, I would hang out with college freshmen. But you have to take the good verisimilitude with the bad, and good verisimilitude is the mother's Pod Save America t-shirt.

There are some poignant moments (and a gonzo performance from Logan Miller) in this auspicious debut from Cooper Raiff, the writer/director/editor/star. But the second party sequence kills some of the momentum, and at a crucial point, the characters spell out some motivation that should have stayed implied.

51. Totally Under Control (Alex Gibney, Ophelia Harutyunyan, Suzanne Hillinger)- As dense and informative as any other Gibney documentary with the added flex of making it during the pandemic it is investigating.

But yeah, why am I watching this right now? I don't need more reasons to be angry with Trump, whom this film calmly eviscerates. The directors analyze Trump's narcissism first through his contradictions of medical expertise in order to protect the economy that could win him re-election. Then it takes aim at his hiring based on loyalty instead of experience. But you already knew that, which is the problem with the film, at least for now.

50. Happiest Season (Clea Duvall)- I was in the perfect mood to watch something this frothy and bouncy. Every secondary character receives a moment in the sun, and Daniel Levy gets a speech that kind of saves the film at a tipping point.

I must say though: I wanted to punch Harper in her stupid face. She is a terrible romantic partner, abandoning or betraying Abby throughout the film and dissembling her entire identity to everyone else in a way that seems absurd for a grown woman in 2020. Run away, Kristen. Perhaps with Aubrey Plaza, whom you have more chemistry with. But there I go shipping and aligning myself with characters, which only proves that this is an effective romantic comedy.

49. The Way Back (Gavin O’Connor)- Patient but misshapen, The Way Back does just enough to overcome the cliches that are sort of unavoidable considering the genre. (I can't get enough of the parent character who, for no good reason, doesn't take his son's success seriously. "Scholarship? What he's gotta do is put his nose in them books! That's why I don't go to his games. [continues moving boxes while not looking at the other character] Now if you'll excuse me while I wait four scenes before showing up at a game to prove that I'm proud of him after all...")

What the movie gets really right or really wrong in the details about coaching and addiction is a total crap-shoot. But maybe I've said too much already.

48. The Whistlers (Corneliu Porumboiu)- Porumboiu is a real artist who seems to be interpreting how much surveillance we're willing to acknowledge and accept, but I won't pretend to have understood much of the plot, the chapters or which are told out of order. Sometimes the structure works--the beguiling, contextless "high-class hooker" sequence--but I often wondered if the film was impenetrable in the way that Porumboiu wanted it to be or impenetrable in the way he didn't.

To tell you the truth, the experience kind of depressed me because I know that, in my younger days, this film is the type of thing that I would re-watch, possibly with the chronology righted, knowing that it is worth understanding fully. But I have two small children, and I'm exhausted all the time, and I kind of thought I should get some credit for still trying to catch up with Romanian crime movies in the first place.

47. Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (Jason Woliner)- I laughed too much to get overly critical, but the film is so episodic and contrived that it's kind of exhausting by the end--even though it's achieving most of its goals. Maybe Borat hasn't changed, but the way our citizens own their ugliness has.

46. First Cow (Kelly Reichardt)- Despite how little happens in the first forty minutes, First Cow is a thoughtful capitalism parable. Even though it takes about forty minutes to get going, the friendship between Cookie and King-Lu is natural and incisive. Like Reichardt's other work, the film's modest premise unfolds quite gracefully, except for in the first forty minutes, which are uneventful.

45. Les Miserables (Ladj Ly)- I loved parts of the film--the disorienting, claustrophobic opening or the quick look at the police officers' home lives, for example. But I'm not sure that it does anything very well. The needle the film tries to thread between realism and theater didn't gel for me. The ending, which is ambiguous in all of the wrong ways, chooses the theatrical. (If I'm being honest, my expectations were built up by Les Miserables' Jury Prize at Cannes, and it's a bit superficial to be in that company.)

If nothing else, it's always helpful to see how another country's worst case scenario in law enforcement would look pretty good over here.

44. Bad Education (Cory Finley)- The film feels too locked-down and small at the beginning, so intent on developing the protagonist neutrally that even the audience isn't aware of his secrets. So when he faces consequences for those secrets, there's a disconnect. Part of tragedy is seeing the doom coming, right?

When it opens up, however, it's empathetic and subtle, full of a dry irony that Finley is already specializing in after only one other feature. Geraldine Viswanathan and Allison Janney get across a lot of interiority that is not on the page.

43. The Trip to Greece (Michael Winterbottom)- By the fourth installment, you know whether you're on board with the franchise. If you're asking "Is this all there is?" to Coogan and Brydon's bickering and impressions as they're served exotic food in picturesque settings, then this one won't sway you. If you're asking "Is this all there is?" about life, like they are, then I don't need to convince you.  

I will say that The Trip to Spain seemed like an enervated inflection point, at which the squad could have packed it in. The Trip to Greece proves that they probably need to keep doing this until one of them dies, which has been the subtext all along.

42. Feels Good Man (Arthur Jones)- This documentary centers on innocent artist Matt Furie's helplessness as his Pepe the Frog character gets hijacked by the alt-right. It gets the hard things right. It's able to, quite comprehensively, trace a connection from 4Chan's use of Pepe the Frog to Donald Trump's near-assuming of Pepe's ironic deniability. Director Arthur Jones seems to understand the machinations of the alt-right, and he articulates them chillingly.

The easy thing, making us connect to Furie, is less successful. The film spends way too much time setting up his story, and it makes him look naive as it pits him against Alex Jones in the final third. Still, the film is a quick ninety-two minutes, and the highs are pretty high.

41. The Old Guard (Gina Prince-Bythewood)- Some of the world-building and backstory are handled quite elegantly. The relationships actually do feel centuries old through specific details, and the immortal conceit comes together for an innovative final action sequence.

Visually and musically though, the film feels flat in a way that Prince-Bythewood's other films do not. I blame Netflix specs. KiKi Layne, who tanked If Beale Street Could Talk for me, nearly ruins this too with the child-actory way that she stresses one word per line. Especially in relief with one of our more effortless actresses, Layne is distracting.

40. The Trial of the Chicago 7 (Aaron Sorkin)- Whenever Sacha Baron Cohen's Abbie Hoffman opens his mouth, the other defendants brace themselves for his dismissive vulgarity. Even when it's going to hurt him, he can't help but shoot off at the mouth. Of course, he reveals his passionate and intelligent depths as the trial goes on. The character is the one that Sorkin's screenplay seems the most endeared to: In the same way that Hoffman can't help but be Hoffman, Sorkin can't help but be Sorkin. Maybe we don't need a speech there; maybe we don't have to stretch past two hours; maybe a bon mot diffuses the tension. But we know exactly what to expect by now. The film is relevant, astute, witty, benevolent, and, of course, in love with itself. There are a handful of scenes here that are perfect, so I feel bad for qualifying so much.

A smaller point: Daniel Pemberton has done great work in the past (Motherless Brooklyn, King Arthur, The Man from U.N.C.L.E.), but the first sequence is especially marred by his sterile soft-rock approach.

  GOOD MOVIES

39. Time (Garrett Bradley)- The key to Time is that it provides very little context. Why the patriarch of this family is serving sixty years in prison is sort of besides the point philosophically. His wife and sons have to move on without him, and the tragedy baked into that fact eclipses any notion of what he "deserved." Feeling the weight of time as we switch back and forth between a kid talking about his first day of kindergarten and that same kid graduating from dentistry school is all the context we need. Time's presentation can be quite sumptuous: The drone shot of Angola makes its buildings look like crosses. Or is it X's?

At the same time, I need some context. When director Garrett Bradley withholds the reason Robert's in prison, and when she really withholds that Fox took a plea and served twelve years, you start to see the strings a bit. You could argue that knowing so little about why, all of a sudden, Robert can be on parole puts you into the same confused shoes as the family, but it feels manipulative to me. The film is preaching to the choir as far as criminal justice goes, which is fine, but I want it to have the confidence to tell its story above board.

38. Bloody Nose, Empty Pockets (Turner Ross and Bill Ross IV)- I have a barfly friend whom I see maybe once a year. When we first set up a time to meet, I kind of dread it and wonder what we'll have to talk about. Once we do get together, we trip on each other's words a bit, fumbling around with the rhythm of conversation that we mastered decades ago. He makes some kind of joke that could have been appropriate then but isn't now.

By the end of the day, hours later, we're hugging and maybe crying as we promise each other that we won't wait as long next time.

That's the exact same journey that I went on with this film.

37. Underwater (William Eubank)- Underwater is a story that you've seen before, but it's told with great confidence and economy. I looked up at twelve minutes and couldn't believe the whole table had been set. Kristen plays Ripley and projects a smart, benevolent poise.

36. The Lodge (Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala)- I prefer the grounded, manicured first half to the more fantastic second half. The craziness of the latter is only possible through the hard work of the former though. As with Fiala and Franz's previous feature, the visual rhymes and motifs get incorporated into the soup so carefully that you don't realize it until they overwhelm you in their bleak glory.

Small note: Alicia Silverstone, the male lead's first wife, and Riley Keough, his new partner, look sort of similar. I always think that's a nice note: "I could see how he would go for her."

35. Miss Americana (Lana Wilson)- I liked it when I saw it as a portrait of a person whose life is largely decided for her but is trying to carve out personal spaces within that hamster wheel. I loved it when I realized that describes most successful people in their twenties.

34. Sound of Metal (Darius Marder)- Riz Ahmed is showing up on all of the best performances of the year lists, but Sound of Metal isn't in anyone's top ten films of the year. That's about right. Ahmed's is a quiet, stubborn performance that I wish was in service of more than the straight line that we've seen before.

In two big scenes, there's this trick that Ahmed does, a piecing together of consequences with his eyes, as if he's moving through a flow chart in real time. In both cases, the character seems locked out and a little slower than he should be, which is, of course, why he's facing the consequences in the first place. To be charitable to a film that was a bit of a grind, it did make me notice a thing a guy did with his eyes.

33. Pieces of a Woman (Kornel Mundruczo)- Usually when I leave acting showcases like this, I imagine the film without the Oscar-baiting speeches, but this is a movie that specializes in speeches. Pieces of a Woman is being judged, deservedly so, by the harrowing twenty-minute take that opens the film, which is as indulgent as it is necessary. But if the unbroken take provides the "what," then the speeches provide the "why."

This is a film about reclaiming one's body when it rebels against you and when other people seek ownership of it. Without the Ellen Burstyn "lift your head" speech or the Vanessa Kirby show-stopper in the courtroom, I'm not sure any of that comes across.

I do think the film lets us off the hook a bit with the LaBoeuf character, in the sense that it gives us reasons to dislike him when it would be more compelling if he had done nothing wrong. Does his half-remembering of the White Stripes count as a speech?

32. Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (George C. Wolfe)- This is such a play, not only in the locked-down location but also through nearly every storytelling convention: "Where are the two most interesting characters? Oh, running late? They'll enter separately in animated fashion?" But, to use the type of phrase that the characters might, "Don't hate the player; hate the game."

Perhaps the most theatrical note in this treatise on the commodification of expression is the way that, two or three times, the proceedings stop in their tracks for the piece to declare loudly what it's about. In one of those clear-outs, Boseman, who looks distractingly sick, delivers an unforgettable monologue that transports the audience into his character's fragile, haunted mind. He and Viola Davis are so good that the film sort of buckles under their weight, unsure of how to transition out of those spotlight moments and pretend that the story can start back up. Whatever they're doing is more interesting than what's being achieved overall.

31. Another Round (Thomas Vinterberg)- It's definitely the film that Vinterberg wanted to make, but despite what I think is a quietly shattering performance from Mikkelsen, Another Round moves in a bit too much of a straight line to grab me fully. The joyous final minutes hint at where it could have gone, as do pockets of Vinterberg's filmography, which seems newly tethered to realism in a way that I don't like. The best sequences are the wildest ones, like the uproarious trip to the grocery store for fresh cod, so I don't know why so much of it takes place in tiny hallways at magic hour. I give the inevitable American remake* permission to use these notes.

*- Just spitballing here. Martin: Will Ferrell, Nikolaj (Nick): Ben Stiller, Tommy: Owen Wilson, Peter: Craig Robinson

30. The Invisible Man (Leigh Whannell)- Exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I needed.

I think a less conclusive finale would have been better, but what a model of high-concept escalation. This is the movie people convinced me Whannell's Upgrade was.

29. On the Rocks (Sofia Coppola)- Slight until the Mexican sojourn, which expands the scope and makes the film even more psychosexual than before. At times it feels as if Coppola is actively simplifying, rather than diving into the race and privilege questions that the Murray character all but demands.

As for Murray, is the film 50% worse without him? 70%? I don't know if you can run in supporting categories if you're the whole reason the film exists.

28. Mangrove (Steve McQueen)- The first part of the film seemed repetitive and broad to me. But once it settled in as a courtroom drama, the characterization became more shaded, and the filmmaking itself seemed more fluid. I ended up being quite outraged and inspired.

27. Shirley (Josephine Decker)- Josephine Decker emerges as a real stylist here, changing her foggy, impressionistic approach not one bit with a little more budget. Period piece and established actors be damned--this is still as much of a reeling fever dream as Madeline's Madeline. Both pieces are a bit too repetitive and nasty for my taste, but I respect the technique.

Here's my mandatory "Elisabeth Moss is the best" paragraph. While watching her performance as Shirley Jackson, I thought about her most famous role as Peggy on Mad Men, whose inertia and need to prove herself tied her into confidence knots. Shirley is almost the opposite: paralyzed by her worldview, certain of her talent, rejecting any empathy. If Moss can inhabit both characters so convincingly, she can do anything.

26. An American Pickle (Brandon Trost)- An American Pickle is the rare comedy that could actually use five or ten extra minutes, but it's a surprisingly heartfelt and wholesome stretch for Rogen, who is earnest in the lead roles.

25. The King of Staten Island (Judd Apatow)- At two hours and fifteen minutes, The King of Staten Island is probably the first Judd Apatow film that feels like the exact right length. For example, the baggy date scene between a gracious Bill Burr and a faux-dowdy Marisa Tomei is essential, the sort of widening of perspective that something like Trainwreck was missing.

It's Pete Davidson's movie, however, and though he has never been my cup of tea, I think he's actually quite powerful in his quiet moments. The movie probes some rare territory--a mentally ill man's suspicion that he is unlovable, a family's strategic myth-making out of respect for the dead. And when Davidson shows up at the firehouse an hour and fifteen minutes in, it feels as if we've built to a last resort.

24. Swallow (Carlo Mirabella-Davis)- The tricky part of this film is communicating Hunter's despair, letting her isolation mount, but still keeping her opaque. It takes a lot of visual discipline to do that, and Claudio Mirabella-Davis is up to the task. This ends up being a much more sympathetic, expressive movie than the plot description might suggest.

(In the tie dispute, Hunter and Richie are both wrong. That type of silk--I couldn't tell how pebbled it was, but it's probably a barathea weave-- shouldn't be ironed directly, but it doesn't have to be steamed. On a low setting, you could iron the back of the tie and be fine.)

23. The Vast of Night (Andrew Patterson)- I wanted a bit more "there" there; The film goes exactly where I thought it would, and there isn't enough humor for my taste. (The predictability might be a feature, not a bug, since the film is positioned as an episode of a well-worn Twilight Zone-esque show.)

But from a directorial standpoint, this is quite a promising debut. Patterson knows when to lock down or use silence--he even cuts to black to force us to listen more closely to a monologue. But he also knows when to fill the silence. There's a minute or so when Everett is spooling tape, and he and Fay make small talk about their hopes for the future, developing the characters' personalities in what could have been just mechanics. It's also a refreshingly earnest film. No one is winking at the '50s setting.

I'm tempted to write, "If Andrew Patterson can make this with $1 million, just imagine what he can do with $30 million." But maybe people like Shane Carruth have taught us that Patterson is better off pinching pennies in Texas and following his own muse.

22. Martin Eden (Pietro Marcello)- At first this film, adapted from a picaresque novel by Jack London, seemed as if it was hitting the marks of the genre. "He's going from job to job and meeting dudes who are shaping his worldview now." But the film, shot in lustrous Super 16, won me over as it owned the trappings of this type of story, forming a character who is a product of his environment even as he transcends it. By the end, I really felt the weight of time.

You want to talk about something that works better in novels than films though? When a passionate, independent protagonist insists that a woman is the love of his life, despite the fact that she's whatever Italians call a wet blanket. She's rich, but Martin doesn't care about her money. He hates her family and friends, and she refuses to accept him or his life pursuits. She's pretty but not even as pretty as the waitress they discuss. Tell me what I'm missing here. There's archetype, and there's incoherence.

21. Bacurau (Kleber Mendonca Filho and Juliano Dornelles)- Certain images from this adventurous film will stick with me, but I got worn out after the hard reset halfway through. As entranced as I was by the mystery of the first half, I think this blood-soaked ensemble is better at asking questions than it is at answering them.

20. Let Them All Talk (Steven Soderbergh)- The initial appeal of this movie might be "Look at these wonderful actresses in their seventies getting a movie all to themselves." And the film is an interesting portrait of ladies taking stock of relationships that have spanned decades. But Soderbergh and Eisenberg handle the twentysomething Lucas Hedges character with the same openness and empathy. His early reasoning for going on the trip is that he wants to learn from older women, and Hedges nails the puppy-dog quality of a young man who would believe that. Especially in the scenes of aspirational romance, he's sweet and earnest as he brushes his hair out of his face.

Streep plays Alice Hughes, a serious author of literary fiction, and she crosses paths with Kelvin Kranz, a grinder of airport thrillers. In all of the right ways, Let Them All Talk toes the line between those two stances as an entertaining, jaunty experiment that also shoulders subtextual weight. If nothing else, it's easy to see why a cruise ship's counterfeit opulence, its straight lines at a lean, would be visually engaging to Soderbergh. You can't have a return to form if your form is constantly evolving.

19. Dick Johnson Is Dead (Kirsten Johnson)- Understandably, I don't find the subject as interesting as his own daughter does, and large swaths of this film are unsure of what they're trying to say. But that's sort of the point, and the active wrestling that the film engages in with death ultimately pays off in a transcendent moment. The jaw-dropping ending is something that only non-fiction film can achieve, and Johnson's whole career is about the search for that sort of serendipity.

18. Da 5 Bloods (Spike Lee)- Delroy Lindo is a live-wire, but his character is the only one of the principals who is examined with the psychological depth I was hoping for. The first half, with all of its present-tense flourishes, promises more than the gunfights of the second half can deliver. When the film is cooking though, it's chock full of surprises, provocations, and pride.

17. Never Rarely Sometimes Always (Eliza Hittmann)- Very quickly, Eliza Hittmann has established herself as an astute, empathetic director with an eye for discovering new talent. I hope that she gets to make fifty more movies in which she objectively follows laconic young people. But I wanted to like this one more than I did. The approach is so neutral that it's almost flat to me, lacking the arc and catharsis of her previous film, Beach Rats. I still appreciate her restraint though.

GREAT MOVIES

16. Young Ahmed (Jean-Pierre Dardenne and Luc Dardenne)- I don't think the Dardennes have made a bad movie yet, and I'm glad they turned away from the slight genre dipping of The Unknown Girl, the closest to bad that they got. Young Ahmed is a lean, daring return to form.

Instead of following an average person, as they normally do, the Dardenne Brothers follow an extremist, and the objectivity that usually generates pathos now serves to present ambiguity. Ahmed says that he is changing, that he regrets his actions, but we never know how much of his stance is a put-on. I found myself wanting him to reform, more involved than I usually am in these slices of life. Part of it is that Idir Ben Addi looks like such a normal, young kid, and the Ahmed character has most of the qualities that we say we want in young people: principles, commitment, self-worth, reflection. So it's that much more destructive when those qualities are used against him and against his fellow man.

15. World of Tomorrow Episode Three: The Absent Destinations of David Prime (Don Hertzfeldt)- My dad, a man whom I love but will never understand, has dismissed modern music before by claiming that there are only so many combinations of chords. To him, it's almost impossible to do something new. Of course, this is the type of thing that an uncreative person would say--a person not only incapable of hearing the chords that combine notes but also unwilling to hear the space between the notes. (And obviously, that's the take of a person who doesn't understand that, originality be damned, some people just have to create.)

  Anyway, that attitude creeps into my own thinking more than I would like, but then I watch something as wholly original as World of Tomorrow Episode Three. The series has always been a way to pile sci-fi ideas on top of each other to prove the essential truths of being and loving. And this one, even though it achieves less of a sense of yearning than its predecessor, offers even more devices to chew on. Take, for example, the idea that Emily sends her message from the future, so David's primitive technology can barely handle it. In order to move forward with its sophistication, he has to delete any extraneous skills for the sake of computer memory. So out of trust for this person who loves him, he has to weigh whether his own breathing or walking can be uninstalled as a sacrifice for her. I thought that we might have been done describing love, but there it is, a new metaphor. Mixing futurism with stick figures to get at the most pure drive possible gave us something new. It's called art, Dad.

14. On the Record (Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering)- We don't call subjects of documentaries "stars" for obvious reasons, but Drew Dixon kind of is one. Her honesty and wisdom tell a complete story of the #MeToo movement. Kirby Dick and Amy Ziering take their time developing her background at first, not because we need to "gain sympathy" or "establish credibility" for a victim of sexual abuse, but because showing her talent and enthusiasm for hip-hop A&R makes it that much more tragic when her passion is extinguished. Hell, I just like the woman, so spending a half-hour on her rise was pleasurable in and of itself.

  This is a gut-wrenching, fearless entry in what is becoming Dick and Ziering's raison d'etre, but its greatest quality is Dixon's composed reflection. She helped to establish a pattern of Russell Simmons's behavior, but she explains what happened to her in ways I had never heard before.

13. David Byrne’s American Utopia (Spike Lee)- I'm often impressed by the achievements that puzzle me: How did they pull that off? But I know exactly how David Byrne pulled off the impish but direct precision of American Utopia: a lot of hard work.

I can't blame Spike Lee for stealing a page from Demme's Stop Making Sense: He denies us a close-up of any audience members until two-thirds of the way through, when we get someone in absolute rapture.

12. One Night in Miami... (Regina King)- We've all cringed when a person of color is put into the position of speaking on behalf of his or her entire race. But the characters in One Night in Miami... live in that condition all the time and are constantly negotiating it. As Black public figures in 1964, they know that the consequences of their actions are different, bigger, than everyone else's. The charged conversations between Malcolm X and Sam Cooke are not about whether they can live normal lives. They're way past that. The stakes are closer to Sam Cooke arguing that his life's purpose aligns with the protection and elevation of African-Americans while Malcolm X argues that those pursuits should be the same thing. Late in the movie, Cassius Clay leaves the other men, a private conversation, to talk to reporters, a public conversation. But the film argues that everything these men do is always already public. They're the most powerful African-Americans in the country, but their lives are not their own. Or not only their own.

It's true that the first act has the clunkiness and artifice of a TV movie, but once the film settles into the motel room location and lets the characters feed off one another, it's gripping. It's kind of unfair for a movie to get this many scenes of Leslie Odom Jr. singing, but I'll take it.

11. Saint Frances (Alex Thompson)- Rilke wrote, "Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us." The characters' behavior in Saint Frances--all of these fully formed characters' behavior--made me think of that quotation. When they lash out at one another, even at their nastiest, the viewer has a window into how they're expressing pain they can't verbalize. The film is uneven in its subtlety, but it's a real showcase for screenwriter and star Kelly O'Sullivan, who is unflinching and dynamic in one of the best performances of the year. Somebody give her some of the attention we gave to Zach Braff for God's sake.

10. Boys State (Jesse Moss and Amanda McBaine)- This documentary is kind of a miracle from a logistical standpoint. From casting interviews beforehand, lots of editing afterwards, or sly note-taking once the conference began, McBaine and Moss happened to select the four principals who mattered the most at the convention, then found them in rooms full of dudes wearing the same tucked-in t-shirt. By the way, all of the action took place over the course of one week, and by definition, the important events are carved in half.

To call Boys State a microcosm of American politics is incorrect. These guys are forming platforms and voting in elections. What they're doing is American politics, so when they make the same compromises and mistakes that active politicians do, it produces dread and disappointment. So many of the boys are mimicking the political theater that they see on TV, and that sweaty sort of performance is going to make a Billy Mitchell out of this kid Ben Feinstein, and we'll be forced to reckon with how much we allow him to evolve as a person. This film is so precise, but what it proves is undeniably messy. Luckily, some of these seventeen-year-olds usher in hope for us all.

If nothing else, the film reveals the level to which we're all speaking in code.

9. The Nest (Sean Durkin)- In the first ten minutes or so of The Nest, the only real happy minutes, father and son are playing soccer in their quaint backyard, and the father cheats to score on a children's net before sliding on the grass to rub in his victory. An hour later, the son kicks the ball around by himself near a regulation goal on the family's massive property. The contrast is stark and obvious, as is the symbolism of the dead horse, but that doesn't mean it's not visually powerful or resonant.

Like Sean Durkin's earlier film, Martha Marcy May Marlene, the whole of The Nest is told with detail of novelistic scope and an elevation of the moment. A snippet of radio that mentions Ronald Reagan sets the time period, rather than a dateline. One kid saying "Thanks, Dad" and another kid saying, "Thanks, Rory" establishes a stepchild more elegantly than any other exposition might.

But this is also a movie that does not hide what it means. Characters usually say exactly what is on their minds, and motivations are always clear. For example, Allison smokes like a chimney, so her daughter's way of acting out is leaving butts on the window sill for her mother to find. (And mother and daughter both definitely "act out" their feelings.) On the other hand, Ben, Rory's biological son, is the character least like him, so these relationships aren't too directly parallel. Regardless, Durkin uses these trajectories to cast a pall of familial doom.

8. Sorry We Missed You (Sean Durkin)- Another precisely calibrated empathy machine from Ken Loach. The overwhelmed matriarch, Abby, is a caretaker, and she has to break up a Saturday dinner to rescue one of her clients, who wet herself because no one came to help her to the bathroom. The lady is embarrassed, and Abby calms her down by saying, "You mean more to me than you know." We know enough about Abby's circumstances to realize that it's sort of a lie, but it's a beautiful lie, told by a person who cares deeply but is not cared for.

Loach's central point is that the health of a family, something we think of as immutable and timeless, is directly dependent upon the modern industry that we use to destroy ourselves. He doesn't have to be "proven" relevant, and he didn't plan for Covid-19 to point to the fragility of the gig economy, but when you're right, you're right.

7. Lovers Rock (Steve McQueen)- swear to you I thought: "This is an impeccable depiction of a great house party. The only thing it's missing is the volatile dude who scares away all the girls." And then the volatile dude who scares away all the girls shows up.

In a year short on magic, there are two or three transcendent moments, but none of them can equal the whole crowd singing along to "Silly Games" way after the song has ended. Nothing else crystallizes the film's note of celebration: of music, of community, of safe spaces, of Black skin. I remember moments like that at house parties, and like all celebrations, they eventually make me sad.

6. Crip Camp: A Disability Revolution (Nicole Newnham and James Lebrecht)- I held off on this movie because I thought that I knew what it was. The setup was what I expected: A summer camp for the disabled in the late '60s takes on the spirit of the time and becomes a haven for people who have not felt agency, self-worth, or community anywhere else. But that's the right-place-right-time start of a story that takes these figures into the '80s as they fight for their rights.

If you're anything like my dumb ass, you know about 504 accommodations from the line on a college syllabus that promises equal treatment. If 2020 has taught us anything though, it's that rights are seized, not given, and this is the inspiring story of people who unified to demand what they deserved. Judy Heumann is a civil rights giant, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't know who she was before this film. If it were just a history lesson that wasn't taught in school, Crip Camp would still be valuable, but it's way more than that.

5. Palm Springs (Max Barbakow)- When explaining what is happening to them, Andy Samberg's Nyles twirls his hand at Cristin Milioti's Sara and says, "It's one of those infinite time-loop scenarios." Yeah, one of those. Armed with only a handful of fictional examples, she and the audience know exactly what he means, and the continually inventive screenplay by Andy Siara doesn't have to do any more explaining. In record time, the film accelerates into its premise, involves her, and sets up the conflict while avoiding the claustrophobia of even Groundhog Day. That economy is the strength that allows it to be as funny as it is. By being thrifty with the setup, the savings can go to, say, the couple crashing a plane into a fiery heap with no consequences.

In some accidental ways, this is, of course, a quarantine romance as well. Nyles and Sara frustratingly navigate the tedious wedding as if they are play-acting--which they sort of are--then they push through that sameness to grow for each other, realizing that dependency is not weakness. The best relationships are doing the same thing right now.

  Although pointedly superficial--part of the point of why the couple is such a match--and secular--I think the notion of an afterlife would come up at least once--Palm Springs earns the sincerity that it gets around to. And for a movie ironic enough to have a character beg to be impaled so that he doesn't have to sit in traffic, that's no small feat.

  4. The Assistant (Kitty Green)- A wonder of Bressonian objectivity and rich observation, The Assistant is the rare film that deals exclusively with emotional depth while not once explaining any emotions. One at a time, the scrape of the Kleenex box might not be so grating, the long hallway trek to the delivery guy might not be so tiring, but this movie gets at the details of how a job can destroy you in ways that add up until you can't even explain them.

3. Promising Young Woman (Emerald Fennell)- In her most incendiary and modern role, Carey Mulligan plays Cassie, which is short for Cassandra, that figure doomed to tell truths that no one else believes. The web-belted boogeyman who ruined her life is Al, short for Alexander, another Greek who is known for his conquests. The revenge story being told here--funny in its darkest moments, dark in its funniest moments--is tight on its surface levels, but it feels as if it's telling a story more archetypal and expansive than that too.

  An exciting feature debut for its writer-director Emerald Fennell, the film goes wherever it dares. Its hero has a clear purpose, and it's not surprising that the script is willing to extinguish her anger halfway through. What is surprising is the way it renews and muddies her purpose as she comes into contact with half-a-dozen brilliant one- or two-scene performances. (Do you think Alfred Molina can pull off a lawyer who hates himself so much that he can't sleep? You would be right.)

Promising Young Woman delivers as an interrogation of double standards and rape culture, but in quiet ways it's also about our outsized trust in professionals and the notion that some trauma cannot be overcome.

INSTANT CLASSICS

2. Soul (Pete Docter)- When Pete Docter's Up came out, it represented a sort of coronation for Pixar: This was the one that adults could like unabashedly. The one with wordless sequences and dead children and Ed Asner in the lead. But watching it again this week with my daughter, I was surprised by how high-concept and cloying it could be. We choose not to remember the middle part with the goofy dog stuff.

Soul is what Up was supposed to be: honest, mature, stirring. And I don't mean to imply that a family film shouldn't make any concessions to children. But Soul, down to the title, never compromises its own ambition. Besides Coco, it's probably the most credible character study that Pixar has ever made, with all of Joe's growth earned the hard way. Besides Inside Out, it's probably the wittiest comedy that Pixar has ever made, bursting with unforced energy.

There's a twitter fascination going around about Dez, the pigeon-figured barber character whose scene has people gushing, "Crush my windpipe, king" or whatever. Maybe that's what twitter does now, but no one fantasized about any characters in Up. And I count that as progress.

1. I’m Thinking of Ending Things (Charlie Kaufman)- After hearing that our name-shifting protagonist moonlights as an artist, a no-nonsense David Thewlis offers, "I hope you're not an abstract artist." He prefers "paintings that look like photographs" over non-representational mumbo-jumbo. And as Jessie Buckley squirms to try to think of a polite way to talk back, you can tell that Charlie Kaufman has been in the crosshairs of this same conversation. This morose, scary, inscrutable, expressionist rumination is not what the Netflix description says it is at all, and it's going to bother nice people looking for a fun night in. Thank God.

The story goes that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, when constructing Raiders of the Lost Ark, sought to craft a movie that was "only the good parts" with little of the clunky setup that distracted from action. What we have here is a Charlie Kaufman movie with only the Charlie Kaufman moments, less interested than ever before at holding one's hand. The biting humor is here, sometimes aimed at philistines like the David Thewlis character above, sometimes at the niceties that we insist upon. The lonely horror of everyday life is here, in the form of missed calls from oneself or the interruption of an inner monologue. Of course, communicating the overwhelming crush of time, both unknowable and familiar, is the raison d'etre.

A new pet motif seems to be the way that we don't even own our own knowledge. The Young Woman recites "Bonedog" by Eva H.D., which she claims/thinks she wrote, only to find Jake's book open to that page, next to a Pauline Kael book that contains a Woman Under the Influence review that she seems to have internalized later. When Jake muses about Wordsworth's "Lucy Poems," it starts as a way to pass the time, then it becomes a way to lord his education over her, then it becomes a compliment because the subject resembles her, then it becomes a way to let her know that, in the grand scheme of things, she isn't that special at all. This film jerks the viewer through a similar wintry cycle and leaves him with his own thoughts. It's not a pretty picture, but it doesn't look like anything else.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 262: A Fierce Bad Rabbit

Previously on BnHA: The hospital raid squad, which had two jobs consisting of (1) not letting Ujiko get away, and (2) not letting any of the Noumu break free to go ravage the countryside, impressively failed at both of these tasks (or so I assume) in a remarkably short amount of time. The EndeavorZawaMicLock squad were all occupied with having a very destructive fight in the hospital lobby, leaving my girl Miruko, Goddess of Courage and First of Her Name, to do pretty much all the heavy lifting, which, fine!! Except that Ujiko remembered that he had a bunch of High End Noumus just floating there waiting to be activated, and he was all “!!” and fucking activated them, and like five of them went after Miruko all at once and smashed her into a bunch of machinery and glass tubes, which frankly should have killed her but it didn’t because she’s a fucking boss. But now it’s just her (and Crust, who might do something too, but for now JURY’S STILL OUT) against all these guys while Ujiko speeds off to grab Tomura and abscond. So basically everything that could go wrong has already gone wrong so UH. OKAY.

Today on BnHA: Miruko kicks ass. Then she checks her watch and sees that there’s still time for her to kick more ass, so she does. Then there is still time, because this chapter is all about her kicking ass! So she kicks even more ass!! It’s great!! I have no complaints!! She decapitates a man with her thighs!! That’s a thing that really happens!! Also she loses an arm but WHO HASN’T LOST AND/OR BROKEN THEIR ARMS IN THIS SERIES, REALLY. Everyone is doing it. Somehow she manages to make it look cool because Miruko. Miruko can strangle a man with a cordless phone. She can kill two stones with one bird. Miruko makes onions cry. Death once had a near-Miruko experience. Mirukoooooooo. Anyway the chapter ends with Skeptic warning everyone at The Ol’ Villain Hotel that the heroes are coming, so basically WELCOME BACK, EVERYONE, this manga is back with a vengeance.

guys I’m gonna try to do this recap fast because I’m seeing Heroes Rising tonight at 7:30! and I’m so excited! and for those that asked, yes I do plan on doing some kind of write-up about it, though it’ll all be from memory after the fact so we’ll see how that goes. but !! I’ve waited 84 years for this ahhhhh but anyway so in the meantime let’s see what new and creative ways our heroes are finding to screw this up even more

(ETA: I did it but this thing isn’t edited for shit lol. after I get back I’ll give it a more thorough readthrough so sorry if I missed any really obvious errors! also there are probably way more exclamation points than usual which may or may not be a plus or minus.)

look at this helpful announcement

High End Noumu approaching, everyone. you have been warned. just in case you somehow failed to notice?? IT’S RIGHT THERE Y’ALL LOOK OUT

lmao FINALLY

MORE HEROES. YOU ALL CERTAINLY TOOK YOUR FUCKING TIME, but hey welcome to the party. and none of that “I don’t see how that’s a party” sassy shit either. you all know what I’m talking about so get out there and have fun

so they’re standing there all “it’s a talking Noumu!” and YEAH. that’s what I’ve been fucking trying to tell you. thank god someone finally fucking said it out loud so that hopefully the EZML squad can finally take notice of this as well. like guys. bigger fish?! get to frying!!

so now Crust is all “there are more of them ahead, Miruko’s in danger!” which, again, thanks for finally letting everyone else in on this formerly exclusive scoop there pal. ‘preciate it

I... really do not understand Crust’s quirk at all. I’m just gonna own up to it

what is this. what does “zuga” mean fx-wise. why did those scale things on his arms get so big. what are they made of. what’s happening

oh it turns out that if you scroll and read more instead of pausing for ages to ask dumb questions, the thing you were asking about might actually be explained in great detail in the very next panel

but what are they made out of though. and why “Crust”?? ah well I suppose that’s a question for someone who actually cares more than I do

by the way the quality of this scan is actually really good so far, I gotta say. we’re only two pages in, true, but they either cleaned this up really nicely, or this was a much higher-quality scan than usual. either way I am appreciative!

lol this poor Noumu is shook

what did I name you two weeks ago, again? Rusty?? anyways he’s doing his best you guys. gambare my dude, though actually you do need to die, so that’s too bad though

Crust is all “you pitiful living corpse!” with tears in his eyes because he’s dramatic! but jokes aside I do appreciate that he has compassion for these monsters who are all still basically innocent victims at the end of the day

does anyone else actually hear that funny-sounding anime narrator guy in your head nowadays when you read panels like this lol

I can hear the voice so clearly and it’s great

only ten times the strength of a normal human, guys. that’s actually not that bad. I’m only half joking lol. because obviously your average hero is going to be much stronger than a so-called “normal” person too, yes? and I’m pretty sure Miruko has the strength of like 30 humans but I may be overestimating her just slightly but am I though

oh lol I apparently did not learn my lesson about doing commentary before I’m done reading hahaha

so High Ends are on a different tier of their own above even the “high” tier. well that’s just. yeah that sounds more like the “we’re still fucked” update that I was expecting

oh wait, seriously??

are you telling me that all of the High Ends were actually cultivated from villains? so maybe not completely innocent, then? is this Horikoshi’s way of trying to make us feel marginally better about the fact that the heroes are shortly henceforth going to have to exterminate these guys with great prejudice? I mean they’re still basically slaves to Ujiko’s programming now though so that sucks

also I missed this earlier but the narration here basically just confirmed that Noumu are all made from corpses. which I kind of suspected, but the still-very-much-alive Tomura would then be a glaring contradiction to that, no? or is that why he’s so special. anyway I do appreciate that we’re getting a lot of much-awaited answers in this Noumu arc, but some of this is also just raising more questions. gotta be patient I guess

speaking of Tomura, Ujiko’s back in the Tomura room, so. I assume some absconding is soon to occur

oh shit!! so there’s another panel explaining that “artificial transplant of quirks” requires surgery and then three months of stabilization time following that. sooooo I’m pretty sure this mofo just confirmed that he gave Tomura some shiny additional new quirks, so that’s nice! that’s real fucking great! I know we were all eyeing Tomura skeptically and thinking to ourselves “this is almost just right, but needs more death”

wait, what?

“I was already dead anyway” meaning that he knows there’s no way out for him? and so he doesn’t have a secret way out of the lab?? ??? can that really be true?? our intrepid heroes actually did their job right and the villains had no contingency plan?? oh my god I am so terrified of letting my guard down lmao I still refuse to believe this at all

and is that Tomura who’s at 70% stabilization? that would seem to fit with the timeline we were given. holy shit is he unboxing him early fsdfkjalsdk are we about to go from “fucked” to “exorbitantly fucked”

and why am I strangely excited about it sob!!

HAHAHAHA OH GOD

so this is how liberty dies. with a beep

also fuck you all, now it’s at 71%?! couldn’t leave it at a nice even number for us, could you? you just had to throw that extra percent in there at the last moment to fuck with us all

anyway did you all catch how fucking ripped he was there though? like boiiii whaaaaat. clearly his abs are already at 100%

OH MY GOD

DOES NOTHING FUCKING FAZE THIS BEAUTIFUL, RULE-BREAKING MOTH

HAHAHA

RIGHT??

HOLY FUCKING MOLY

friendly reminder that Dabi was all good and ready to throw down with both Endeavor and Hawks (who were admittedly weakened by that point) that one time a while back, but then Miruko showed up and he was all “lol nope I think the fuck not” and warped out of there. Dabi, whose quirk is so powerful that its only apparent downside is the fact that it roasts him alive as well. that Dabi took one look at Miruko and decided he likes having his spine intact and fucking vamoosed, because that is the smart fucking thing to do when this girl shows up smiling at you the way that she is smiling at these Noumu now

anyway. fucking Ujiko knew he needed at least five High Ends to even stand a chance of slowing her down, is all I’m saying. y’all better respect the FUCK out of Miruko, everyone. it’s the law

anyway. so. quirk: bunny. can smash rl gud

someone needs to ask Horikoshi the fuck kind of rabbits he has been hanging out with. applied that “and more!” part pretty fucking liberally huh. WHO DID YOU SAY TRIX WERE FOR AGAIN, CHILDREN??

NOBODY THROWS MIRUKO IN THE BRIAR PATCH AND GETS AWAY WITH IT

fffwhatttttttttt

that would be our good buddy Max Rebo. so that’s definitely not an elephant trunk-like thing then. we may need a new name for you

on a side note, I never thought we’d meet another character who looks more like Katsuki than Mitsuki does, and yet every damn week Miruko is proving me wrong. goddamn she is great

lmao wait maybe that wasn’t Max at all, but Jester. because this is clearly Max over here

so Girl!Noumu is a water bender, Jester can do... something weird with his hair, and Max can do anything an elephant can do if that elephant was also powered by steam. nice

HAHAHA BUT MIRUKO IS ALL “KICK!!!”

HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK!!!

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. I WOULD READ AN ENTIRE MANGA OF JUST THIS LMAO THIS IS TOO MUCH ADRENALINE I CAN’T

JESTER’S WEIRD SPIKY ROCK HAIR IS SLICING HER ARM AND SHE’S ALL “THAT HURTS YOU JERK!!!!” AND GETTING READY TO FREAKING PILEDRIVE HIM I CAN’T, THOUGH!?

SDKFJLDKSJFLKJ

HER FATHER PEPPY TAUGHT HER THAT. BARREL ROLL ALL OVER THESE BITCHES!!

WHAT THE FUCK

FUCKING QUIRKS!!!! THOUGH!!!! WILLLLLLLLLD

SDKFJLAS;DHK OH MY GOD OH SHIT

real talk this is the scariest fucking quirk I’ve ever seen I was like what the fuck looking at her arm and then I saw him doing the twisty hand gesture and just. fuck. YOU’RE NOT CRIMSON RIOT AT ALL YOU’RE SOME PSYCHO TELEKINETIC BITCH AND I FUCKING HATE YOU!!

NO!!!!!

fuck fuck fuck. I’M SURE HER ARM’S GOING TO BE JUST FINE AND DANDY AFTER THIS GUYS, DON’T WORRY. THIS MANGA HAS SUCH A SERENE AND TRANQUIL HISTORY WITH ARMS. ISN’T THAT RIGHT DEKU

though on the plus side, if she does lose that arm we can count on her to somehow instantly become like 50x more attractive, which I’m pretty sure might cause the very fabric of the universe to unravel but it would be worth it

(ETA: SHE DID AND IT WAS!!)

MADAME PRESIDENT!! MY QUEEN

OH HELL YERRRRRR

fucking hell guys I’m running out of exclamation points and excited things to say here. AND SHE JUST KEEPS GOING! LIKE HER MOM THE ENERGIZER BUNNY BEFORE HER

I’M SORRY UJIKO DID YOU THINK FIVE HIGH ENDS WAS ENOUGH?! MAYBE NEXT TIME WE MAKE IT TEN, HOW ABOUT THAT. FUCK OFF

lmao holy shit I can’t stop laughingggg

well Crimson, at least you get to die happy. is she literally going to crush his face between her thighs. is this entire chapter just one big prank on me. if Miruko was the protagonist would this series have ended in the first chapter. trick question, the answer is it never would have started to begin with because she would have killed All for One years ago!! how much would it cost to hire Miruko to come kick away all of my problems for me

hello good afternoon everyone this is a real panel that really happened in this manga

I don’t even know what to say about anything anymore

sob she’s all “YEAH RIGHT” and SNAPPING HIS FUCKING NECK WITH A FUCKING TRIANGLE CHOKE, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, FUCKING LOOK!! AT!! THIS!!!

we’re not even gonna make it to 300 chapters. Horikoshi held off for as long as he could, but eventually Miruko couldn’t be contained any longer and he had to unleash her and she instantly went and reckt every last fucking bad guy out there until there was nothing left. who are the kids even going to fight. nobody that’s who. go back to school kids

SON OF A BITCH WHAT IS HAPPENING

THIS IS THE MOST VIOLENT THING I HAVE EVER FUCKING SEEN AND YET SOMEHOW I SWEAR I CAN HEAR ANGELS SINGING. RESPLENDENT

SOBBING!!!!

“S’POSE I SHOULD GET THIS ANNOYING THING CHECKED OUT BEFORE I BLEED TO DEATH OR SOME BULLSHIT.” WHAT AN INCONVENIENCE. JUST A FUCKING FLESH WOUND. NOBODY USES ARMS THESE DAYS ANYWAY

“IF THE ONLY WAY TO STOP YOU IS BY CRUSHING YOUR HEADS THIS WILL BE WAY EASIER THAN HOLDING BACK ON A NORMAL VILLAIN.” SOB THIS IS MIRUKO’S WORLD AND WE’RE ALL JUST BEGRUDGINGLY ALLOWED TO EXIST IN IT. MY BARONESS

DID YOU JUST TOURNIQUET YOUR DISMEMBERED FUCKING LIMB WITH YOUR OWN FUCKING HAIR ONE-HANDED FFCKCK KCKCLK JUST MIRUKO THINGS

Miruko also saw Horikoshi getting ready to end the chapter after 17 pages and was like “EXCUSE YOU THERE” and he backed off because he actually likes having a fucking head thank you very much

LMAO AND NOW OF ALL TIMES WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE OL’ VILLAIN RESORT. SIGH

Skeptic seems to have finally cottoned on to them being in some kind of trouble. huh

how does he know it was Jin who screwed up?? did he realize that Hawks betrayed them oh shit!?!

OOP HE’S SOUNDING THE ALARM

AND THE CHAPTER IS ENDING. BUT I’M NOT DONE SCREAMING. AHHHHHH well anyways I’m off to watch my children kick lots of ass on the big screen. assuming I can get this posted in time with zero editing whatsoever lol I’ve got like... an hour. WE SHALL SEE!

(ETA: we did it lol just barely! this whole thing is probably a giant mess but oh well! Mirukoooooo)

#bnha 262 #miruko #mirko #ujiko daruma #I already forgot his new official name ah well #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste spoiler recap #makeste reads bnha #no time for tags!! #movie!!!!

[prorevenge]

You okay the project for the whole team? Great turn it in to the professor tomorrow

Tl/dr; Kids in group project don’t take having a real life client seriously, 1 fails, 1 fails and doesn’t graduate, and 1 goes from A to C and screws up GPA.

  Enough of the Backstory, here are the characters, obviously no where near their real names:

Matt - Professor

Client - Store owner

Damien - Project Partner

Jeff - Project Partner

Kirk - Project Partner

Barry - Me

      The SPRING class in this story was a Implementing Business Computer Systems class. For the yearly project we had a real life client that our school volunteered the students for Pro Bono work of small business in the area. We were seniors, so we are trusted with the clients work as it is oversaw by our professor. This is a big step and I, for one, am excited. I had been doing nothing but working as a Bartender/Server in a fine dining restaurant and having my head in books learning how to code with barely any time to do much else - this was an opportunity to get a taste of the real world we were about to embark on.

      The project started out fine, we all drive thirty minutes away to meet our client. A wonderful woman that owned a small floral business and she was paying 1-800-flowers to sell her product for her, which came with a website itself and a HUGEEEE price. This lady was also in her 60s and by no means fluent in computer - this is important for later. We talk, find out she wants a new website, her contract with 1-800-assholes ends in the summer. No pressure, we will be able to finish the web site and give it to her by the end of the semester, if not earlier. This will give us time to teach her what is needed and what to do so that she can maintain and run the website by her self. Afterwards we delegate the tasks, and since I have the most extensive background in coding and computers, I volunteer to learn how to create this website for our client as long as Damien, Jeff and Kirk work on the other parts of the project - the user guide and the technical documentation. For our client, this needed to be extensive so that she would be able to post her product on the website with an easy transition.

      As we weigh our options over the next week, we come up with some proposals to the client and we set a meeting to go over these on a Tuesday - the day everybody is the most free in their schedule - the following week. Sunday - Jeff says he can't make it, Kirk quickly responds and says he can't make it either. I say its cool, Damien and I will be able to make it. Monday - Damien says we should reschedule because now he can't make it. I say no, I will go by myself we shouldn't cancel on the client - no biggie, I understand things come up. As the project went through the semester, I am killing the website. I have a working e-commerce store integrated with the stores paypal, i have a shop tab, and a featured page for in season flowers. I ask about the documentation and the user manual and I am told by the all three of them that they are working on it and will have a rough draft for me soon to check out. Cool, No problem. Time to show the client the product to see if she wants any changes or if we should just continue creating this website for her; we set a meeting with the client on a Tuesday a week or two in advance and everybody says that is okay.

      Same song, different story. Sunday - Jeff says he can't make it, Kirk quickly responds and says he can't make it either. I say its cool, Damien and I will be able to make it. Monday - Damien says we should reschedule because now he can't make it. "I say fuck no, this is a client. You don't do that to clients." So I hop my ass by myself to drive 30 minutes to meet our client. I show the Client the website and she client is happy with the product and asks us to continue and she is excited for the finished product.

      How our weeks are set up is in such a way which they start on a Wednesday and end on a Tuesday. So the last day of classes are on a Tuesday. The school then gives an extra free day that Wednesday for a "Study Day", then the exams schedule goes Thu-Fri-Sat || Mon-Tues-Wed. I am sure you can infer what students do on that Tuesday before study day. Fast forward to the end of the semester, I still haven't seen any documentation or user manual and it is due on the class' exam day, which is the first day of exam week. So a week before it is due I am told I will have the documentation and user manual in my hand before our meeting which is at 12PM that study day - Wednesday. I receive a email at 11PM on Tuesday as I am getting off work and I see that is the technical documentation and the user manual. i open it up, promptly get pissed, turn off my laptop, play some xbox and pass out before midnight. The reason being, technical documentation was 1 page and did not contain anything about the Database Schema used, the website language, the paypal information, the emails registered. Just the URL and some other information that wasn't important and was half a page long. Remember how our client was in her 60s? The user manual was 1 and a half pages long and, I shit you not, contained about 5 sentences and 3 pictures with an arrow. 0 explanation on how to use the website.

      Come to the meeting at 12pm, I show up and wait about 5 minutes. I then text everybody asking where they are at, no response. I start looking over how to fix the user manual since I obviously have to start over. While I am working on it, I haven't said anything and then Damien walks into the room.

  D: "Did you get the docs?"

Me: "Yeah. You guys really think this is finished?"

D: "Oh yeah, it should be good to turn in."

Me: "Idk, I think we should add a little more, this is for our client, she won't understand this. Where is Jeff and Kirk?"

D: " ahhahaha We all got fucked up last night after finishing up the documentation, they are probably still passed out. Also, I'm turning it in tomorrow, if you want to do anything else go ahead, but whatever I have I am turning it in. I think its ready to turn it so I won't be doing anything else, I have other classes to study for. I already have an A in this class so it doesn't matter to me and Kirk and Jeff have A's as well so they don't care at all."

      Perfect he said the magic words and then he left with a flash drive. I immediately went upstairs and told my professor, Matt, everything. I said I don't want to leave my client hanging, yes my client, not ours. Matt said that he completely understands and even commends me for wanting to stay on top of everything and not give our client a bad taste for our students. He then asks why. I simply stated, "What you are about to receive tomorrow for 'our' project is completely unacceptable. It is unfair for us and for our client to leave her hanging." I showed him the website, which he likes and then I showed him the user guide and technical documentation. I asked for an extra week to finish the documentation and user guide - as I had a plan for what it should be and needed time to create it all. Matt said absolutely, but forget about the documentation. You obviously know what is in it, just focus on the client. So I created user videos with dictation, drove to the client and showed her how to use it all, where to find the videos. I even created a program that had all the videos inside so she could have it on her desktop and the program pulled up the video of her choice for whatever she needed help with with some buttons so she wouldn't have to search folders for the videos. I gave her my contact info and said I'll be here over the summer if she ever needs help with the website or has any questions and I can swing by.

    After all of this happened and afterwards I gave an update to Matt who also had an update from me. Apparently he almost failed the rest of my group because they turned in their project by slipping an unmarked USB drive under his door. He only accepted it after they emailed him asking him if he received the USB. Matt also called our client to verify my story of the fact that they never showed for client meetings and the client told him I was the only person that has been showing up. Hearing this from other people, anybody in my group that had A's in the class leading up to the project got a C, anybody with a B in the class failed. Damien's GPA was screwed up from this class as it was a 4 hours class. Kirk and Jeff both failed and Jeff wasn't allowed to graduate and Kirk had to retake it the next semester even though he wasn't graduating. My grade which was an 84 before the project was bumped to an A. The next year Damien asked how I did in that class because he was confused about his final grade, and I simply said I did fine, received an A. He has no idea the reason why. Don't f*ck with me and my grade and I won't f*ck with you.

(source) story by (/u/sw1mm3r202)

#prorevenge #by /u/sw1mm3r202 #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #last10

[closetspngirl]

I dare you.... ALL of them. Yeah... I said. All. Of. Them. hehehe

Just remember...you asked...

If anyone else is even remotely interested in reading some/any/all my answers to all 100 questions, see below. For the rest of you, I hope the keep reading tab works...

1: is there a boy/girl in your life? Yes

2: think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Not sure yet

3: what do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” A cat?

4: what’s something you really want right now? Well a couple things...pick a coast...

5: are you afraid of falling in love? Sort of. I’m currently watching it crumble before me...and I’m not sure I can do that to myself again.

6: do you like the beach? I love the beach!

7: have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes

8: what’s the background on your cell? A black and white of Jensen playing the guitar. My lock screen is a digital painting of Genevieve’s Ruby.

9: name the last four beds you were sat on? Umm...huh? Mine, my coworkers...a family friend...and I guess my mom’s?

10: do you like your phone? I do.

11: honestly, are things going the way you planned? I mean...no? But they’re looking up.

12: who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? One of the sales ladies at work.

13: would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler? Neither. 

14: which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Probably emotional. I’m a total empath so I can be super sensitive. 

15: would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Depends on what art exhibit is going on.

16: are you tired? Yes. I got 3.5 hours of sleep and this is your cruel way of keeping me awake for at least another hour. lol. It’s a good thing you’re cute. 

17: how long have you known your 1st phone contact? As long as I’ve been at my current job, just over a year.

18: are they a relative? No.

19: would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Fuck. No.

20: when did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? Uhh...like 30 minutes ago (when was the kiss is a WHOLE other question)

21: if you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? If I knew that that was it for either of us, yet. 

22: would you kiss the last person you kissed again? I mean...maybe on the cheek in a ‘have a nice life’ kinda way

23: how many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? One

24: is there a certain quote you live by? Oh wow...there’s a few that I like but I’m horrible with recalling them.

25: what’s on your mind? a lot of things...

26: do you have any tattoos? I do, three, four is getting added hopefully this year, for sure next year (or it might be five at that point...)

27: what is your favorite color? Purple

28: next time you will kiss someone on the lips? August

29: who are you texting? Does tumblr messaging count? If so, you, and the person I’m texting

30: think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yes

31: have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yes

32: do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yes

33: do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes

34: has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes

35: say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Hope she likes it...

36: were you single on valentines day? I mean...strictly speaking, no. Did I go out and do anything? No. I was working.

37: are you friends with the last person you kissed? Uhh...hard to answer.

38: what do your friends call you? By my name, or a few different nicknames

39: has anyone upset you in the last week? YES.

40: have you ever cried over a text? Yes. Both good and bad.

41: where’s your last bruise located? Oh goodness...uh...I think it’s the one on the side of my right knee

42: what is it from? Who the fuck knows...it just showed up one day.

43: last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Yesterday, day before that, Saturday, almost every day last week...

44: who was the last person you were on the phone with? Personal phone: R. Work phone: sales department.

45: do you have a favourite pair of shoes? My converse

46: do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? I hate hats.

47: would you ever go bald if it was the style? Never

48: do you make supper for your family? I can, am able, rarely do.

49: does your bedroom have a door? Yes, thank god.

50: top 3 web-pages? Tumblr, IG and...my portfolio currently I guess since I’m trying to update it.

51: do you know anyone who hates shopping? Yeah...me. lol. Ok, not completely true. Clothes shopping is a huge hassle. 

52: does anything on your body hurt? Yes. Head, neck, back, stomach, feet (gotta love a kitchen job)

53: are goodbyes hard for you? Depends on the goodbye, mostly yes

54: what was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? Uh...probably coffee

55: how is your hair? It’s fine, thanks for asking. HA!. j/k. It’s up in a messy bun and headband

56: what do you usually do first in the morning? Turn off my alarm, See who messaged me and get ready for work

57: do you think two people can last forever? I think it’s possible, as long as both people want it.

58: think back to january 2007, were you single?  No

59: green or purple grapes? Green. Purple grapes are too sweet for me.

60: when’s the next time you will give someone a big hug? Probably...Friday when L is back at work. Otherwise, August.

61: do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Yes. Didn’t I already answer this? Pick a coast...I want to go there.

62: when will be the next time you text someone? Later tonight

63: where will you be 5 hours from now? In my bed. Asleep. So help me Chuck if I’m not.....

64: what were you doing at 8 this morning. Uhh...just waking up for the third time.

65: this time last year, can you remember who you liked? Other than Jensen/Jared/Dean/Sam? Uhh....Oh I guess I was crushing on B a little...but that ship has long sailed. 

66: is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Absolutely. 

67: did you kiss or hug anyone today? I hugged L. I’m surprised he’s not tired of me yet. lol

68: what was your last thought before you went to bed last night? That I really need to be better at letting shit go.

69: have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yes. 

70: how many windows are open on your computer? Windows? One. Tabs...? 10.

71: how many fingers do you have? 8 plus two thumbs.

72: what is your ringtone? Priceless by for KING & COUNTRY

73: how old will you be in 5 months? 31

74: where is your mum right now? South Dakota

75: why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? A long list of really shitty reasons.

76: have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No

77: are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Definitely

78: do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? At 7? Let’s see...first grade...I don’t think I had a crush on anyone. I remember there was this kid Ben that I hated because he used to take my stuff all the time. OH!! There was this really cute blonde boy that I can’t think of his name right now. He was only there for that year and then left.

79: is there anyone you know with the name mike? Yes! My best friend’s dad. lol. He’s like my second father.

80: have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Umm...I mean technically speaking? Yes...the way I wanted it to be? No. It was more that I fell asleep with my head on them and then they nudged me off so they could roll over...

81: how many people have you liked in the past three months? HA! Well....B...R...J...three. I’ll go with three.

82: has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Yes

83: will you talk to the person you like tonight? Already am

84: you’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? I wouldn’t do that, but if I was...probably my friend Carrie...

85: if your bf/gf was into drugs would you care? I mean...probably?

86: what was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? Well...I can’t even remember the last movie I went to go see...I think it was maybe Brooklyn, with my mom. So not a lot other than watching the movie. 

87: who was your last received call from? Work

88: if someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? Only if it was already dead. Otherwise, no.

89: what is something you wish you had more of? energy...?

90: have you ever trusted someone too much? Yuuuuup.

91: do you sleep with your window open? When I can.

92: do you get along with girls? I do

93: are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? Am I keeping a secret? Yes. Do they need to know? No.

94: does sex mean love? No

95: you’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Uhh...it’d be boring AF

96: have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? No

97: did you sleep alone this week? Yes. Have been for months now.

98: everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? I’m working on it. I’d like to think so.

99: do you believe in love at first sight? umm...maybe? not entirely sure

100: who was the last person that you pinky promise? Oh lord...I don’t even remember. lol

Thanks for the challenge!!! xoxox

[winter-and-little-brunettes]

85 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @vldrocketeer! Thanks, sweetie, sorry Im getting to doing this so late!!!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Coca-Cola! And, Im about to go grab another can...

2. Phone call: My mom! I sent her some cute bird videos, and called her to hear her reactions to them.

3. Text message: A good friend I made in first year! His name is Colin, and he lived across the hall from me in residence first year. We’re both the same major (English Lit), and we both have similar interests in video games, so we got along great. I won’t post what I said, since we’re catching up and it was a long ass text message, but it was basically me explaining why I haven’t seen him around lately (since I’m usually holed up at work when I’m on campus)

4. Song you listened to: “Turning Page” by Sleeping At Last. It’s a favourite of mine!

5. Time you cried: Oh jeez... Uh, last month? March has been pretty stressful, and April will make me want to rip my hair out...

6. Dated someone twice: I almost did! But no, never actually dated the same guy twice.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Its hard enough to get me to kiss someone, let alone do it and regret it.

8. Been cheated on: I have. He was my first and only heartbreak (so far)

9. Lost someone special: Hmm... I think my best answer here is “yes”.

10. Been depressed: I mean, Im usually a pretty happy person, but everyone has their ups and downs. I cant say Ive been clinically depressed, but I have had a very dark part in my life, and I feel like another one is coming.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: HAHAHA uh... no... I mean, that totally wasn’t me...

— Fave colours

12. purple!!

13. blue, like, a royal blue, yknow?

14. pink

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: I have, fortunately!!

16. Fallen out of love: “I need to be in love for that to happen” god Erin, same

17. Laughed until you cried: Those are some of the best moments. I’m a loud laugher, and it happens like, once a week probably.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t do anything special enough to be talked about

19. Met someone who changed you: I feel like every person I’ve ever met has influenced me in some way or the other, so yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Oh man, I certainly have. Fortunately, I have that cliche best friend story where I’ve literally known her since SK, went to the same elementary school, high school, and university together... And she lived around the corner from me when I still lived in my hometown.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Well, considering my one ex is my friend there, I have to say yes.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Every single one. Although I’m never on facebook so don’t ever add me; itll take a month to hear back from me.

23. Do you have any pets: I have two cats! Well, one lives with me, and the other is at my parent’s place. But Perriwinkle is with me, my precious kitty, and shes all I need!

24. Do you want to change your name: Hmm... I do quite like my birth name, and I adore my last name, but my middle name... Im not super fond of “Marie”.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: hahahaha uh, well, Id been working at my new job for about a week at that time, so I was working on my 19th birthday.

26. What time did you wake up today: 11:35am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was working on The Power of Faiths upcoming update! ;)

28. What is something you can’t wait for: to be done university... As much as it’s a cool experience and all, all the stress it brings is gonna kill me prematurely.

30. What are you listening to right now: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I work with a guy named Tom. He’s a music major, he plays piano and is overall a super cool dude

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: when people I call for my job pick up the phone on a Sunday and bitch at me that I’m calling on “the day of rest”. Like?? Bitch, you did not have to pick up the phone. You saw the caller ID, just, let it go to voicemail?????????

33. Most visited website: It’s a toss-up between tumblr and ao3

34. Hair colour: brown, like, chocolate brown I guess

35. Long or short hair: It’s long for some people’s standards (it comes to between my shoulder blades) but still pretty short for me. I’m used to my hair reaching the small of my back.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: Oh hell no, aint nobody got time for that

37. What do you like about yourself: Uh... You guys wouldn’t like my answer.

38. Want any piercings: I seriously thought about a tongue piercing, but idk.

39. Blood type: You’d think, from the amount of blood Ive had taken for allergy tests and the like that I’d know. But nope, I have no idea.

40. Nicknames: Sam, Sammy, Samserban, Pretties, Samuel.

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Sign: Gemini!

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: Voltron

45. Tattoos: I’m looking into tattoo parlors to get my first tattoo over the summer. I’m gonna get a bunch of flowers on my back, over my heart, for my grandma <3

46. Right or left handed: Right

47: Ever had surgery: Nope! Worst I’ve had are x-rays

48. Piercings: I do have my ears pierced, just once.

49. Sport: Hahahaaaa not anymore, I’m lazy af. But I used to figure skate competitively, row competitively, and ride horses.

50. Vacation: I hardly ever travel. Ive been down to Florida twice, and been to England and Scotland around this time two years ago with my two best friends.

51. Trainers: ...no? Again, I’m lazy af.

— More general

52. Eating: I dont eat as often as I should.

53. Drinking: Coca-Cola. Or coffee. Not sure which I’m gonna get yet.

54. I’m about to watch: I mean, I should be working on papers or something... Or even writing... But I just finished watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood the other day and I loved it!!!

55. Waiting for: my English prof to give me my marks back for a paper I wrote.

56. Want: a lot of money so I don’t have to work as much as I do to live in my bachelor’s apartment with my cat.

57. Get married: Maybe..... It depends on if I ever find the right person. But if I dont, I am more than happy to be alone.

58. Career: I really reeeaaally want to get into a writing/editing career. I want to one day work for a firm to work one on one with authors to help them edit and publish novels!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!

60. Lips or eyes: Oooh, eyes man!

61. Shorter or taller: Taller...

62. Older or younger: Older

63. Nice arms or stomach: Ooooh... arms...

64. Hookup or relationships: Definitely relationships, but I’m terrible at keeping them,,

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Oh gosh, I mean, Im definitely more of a trouble maker... But like, a cautious one.

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Oh hell no

67. Drank hard liquor: Im Canadian... Yes

68.Turned someone down: Haha, I sure have! I got asked out by two different guys on the same day before.

69. Sex on first date: Oh god no

70: Broken someone’s heart: Probably.....

71. Had your heart broken: I most certainly have!

72. Been arrested: Fortunately, not.

73. Cried when someone died: Yes. But, only once.

74. Fallen for a friend: I have no idea what this means???

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: hahaha uh... No???????

76. Miracles: Id like to??

77. Love at first sight: I do, but not for myself.

78. Santa Claus: Nope

79. Angels: Oh god no

— Misc

80. Eye colour:  like, a warm brown colour?

81. Best friends name: Kaylee!

82. Favourite movie: I love too many movies... But the ones that come to mind are Spirit: Stallion of the Cimerran, Stardust, The Swan Princess, and Toy Story!!!

83. Favourite actor: There are days I can barely remember my coworkers names, and I see them for like, 15 hours a week. Let alone someone I’ve never met???

84. Favourite cartoon: It’s Voltron ;)

85. Favourite teacher’s name: I dont really consider myself to have “favourite” profs. But I am fond of a few that I’ve had!

I’m gonna tag @forsakenangel88, @mardimari, @dumb-birdd, and any of my followers who want to do this! Just tag me, I’d love to see your answers <3

#me things #i was tagged?

[leifandthorn]

Webcomic Buffers And You, for #WeHeartComics

I keep turning up new webcomic-related Twitter discussions. This one was an (irregular?) offering from WeHeartComics, a product of the SpiderForest collective. (Think “Hiveworks for artists who aren’t into bees.”)

Last Friday was a chat about buffers. Which was a striking thing to jump into, because I’d just been listening to the ComicLab episode where the hosts go “ahh, regular updates are so 10 years ago! Just update whenever you draw something. Readers will be into it.”

And that works great if you’re Kate Beaton (of Hark! A Vagrant) or Sarah Andersen (of Sarah’s Scribbles), where your whole thing is random self-contained standalone bits. (It also helps if they’re Really Good standalones.) But, listen, it’s all wrong for a comic with any kind of continuity. If you slack on the updates there, readers will forget where they are in the story, and end up losing interest.

I don’t know if if strict update times are necessary in the social-media age. Nobody knows when Webcomic Woes is going to update, and it doesn’t matter, because as long as you stay on top of your Patreon/Deviantart/Tumblr feed, it’ll be served up to you.

But for those story-based comics, you’ve got to keep a regular update rate (e.g. “twice a week”). So you may as well keep the posting dates and times consistent too. Keeps your life simple, makes it easier to track your to-do list.

And with that, on to the questions…

Q1. Do you try to keep a buffer of comic pages? Why or why not? #WeHeartComics pic.twitter.com/aYgkNRoD9W

— WeHeartComics (@WeHeartComics) April 6, 2018

For Leif & Thorn, yes. I like titling strips in the format of “This Storyline 1/24” (a tic picked up from Bruno The Bandit)…and that only works if my buffer reaches the end of This Storyline.

The current arc is getting broken up into sub-acts — starting with “The Show Must Grow On: Overture” — mostly because I’m not far enough to have the numbers otherwise. Did the same thing splitting off the 14-strip An Incredibly Platonic Shopping Day, even though it leads straight (hah) into the next storyline, because Summer Sunshine clocked in at a full 84 strips. I could manage to be 84 strips ahead, but not 98.

As of this writing, I’ve drawn 18 strips into The Show Must Grow On: Act I. Which is…not bad, but there’s gonna need to be a crackdown of work this weekend. And the next one. And probably the next.

For But I’m A Cat Person — eheh, it used to have a buffer. Now I’m almost always working one page ahead. Talked a lot about the effects of that in an earlier WebcomicChat about pacing.

And then there’s Webcomic Woes, which is bufferless by nature. It gets made on a “whenever I have an idea” basis, and I don’t have more than one relevant idea per day.

A1 YES!

I'm working on getting a buffer of at least 52 pages because I have a crazy day job and I want enough buffer for a year of weekly updates.#WeHeartComics

— TeJay is Drawing (@TeJay_the_Mad) April 6, 2018

This here is a heroic effort. I’ve never had a full-page buffer that long.

(Technically, I’m 50-ish updates ahead with Leif & Thorn right now — but since it’s a daily strip, that only comes out to a month and a half’s worth of lead time.)

Q1 #WeHeartComics I prefer to always work on solid ground so right now I have a hefty buffer of 800 pages. (even more if I include book 2)

— 🐀Kristen🐉Kiomall-Evans🐒 (@BatichiKristen) April 6, 2018

…and here we have the winner of this thread.

Q2. What drawbacks or advantages does your current buffer (or lack of) give you?#WeHeartComics pic.twitter.com/wmju0giUTm

— WeHeartComics (@WeHeartComics) April 6, 2018

Low buffer gives you a quick turnaround on “whoops, readers didn’t understand that reference, I’ll have a character explain it on the next page.” High buffer gives you security in case you fall out of a tree and have to put your drawing arm in a cast for three months.

A2: The advantage is if something happens, I won't have to miss an update. Since I post on Webtoons, this kicks me down in rankings, which potentially loses me subs/PVs. Drawbacks, are that I can't make any changes to the story arc or I'll have to redo portions #WeHeartComics

— Lisa ⭐️ リサ (@asilris) April 6, 2018

…and then there’s algorithms. Or, on a site like mine, the Webcomic plugin is configured to send cranky emails if the buffer runs low.

Although I find that having a large buffer, so you can redo something while it’s in the buffer, is much easier than redoing it after it’s posted! If you realize on page 10 that you need a Chekhov’s gun that should’ve been on the wall on page 1, you really want page 1 to be unposted. I’ve resorted to post-posting edits, but only in the case of serious continuity errors.

(If you’re really bored some afternoon, go through the BICP archives page-by-page and see how many errors you can spot compared to the originals — which are all preserved on the SmackJeeves mirror.)

Q3. Life sometimes eats away at buffers. What techniques do you use to get around that?#WeHeartComics pic.twitter.com/qKtmCWYUDA

— WeHeartComics (@WeHeartComics) April 6, 2018

With Leif & Thorn: hasn’t been a problem. (Knock wood.)

With BICP: uh, mostly posting stuff late with apologies. The comic was originally 3 pages a week, and I couldn’t keep that up full-time, so I took it down to 2 (it goes back up sometimes for special events, like the second Christmas special), and that helped.

I do a week or two of filler between chapters, and I’ve given myself a couple longer hiatuses…but do not have the discipline to use them for buffering, heh. I just use them to recharge before jumping back into the “whoops, gotta draw tomorrow’s page now” rollercoaster.

Waaaay back in the day (2003!), And Shine Heaven Now had 6-strips-a-week updates. When my Dell died and the buffer ran out, I drew a week of filler at the library in MSPaint rather than go updateless.

In retrospect, under the circumstances, I’m sure readers would’ve forgiven a mini-hiatus! But for some reason it honestly didn’t occur to me as an option.

Q4. Do you have advice to those wanting to create buffers?#WeHeartComics pic.twitter.com/S1v4ndaZVI

— WeHeartComics (@WeHeartComics) April 6, 2018

Work up a big one before your comic actually launches. I had several months of Leif & Thorn drawn before I started posting, and the buffer has been healthy ever since.

After that, just pace yourself. Figure out what your workflow is, and adapt your schedule to work with it! Some authors like writing out a script beforehand, others like working it out as they draw. Some artists need strict and well-planned schedules, others (*cough*) get revved up by looming deadlines. In the immortal words of Jan Valentine: whatever works is cool.

Q5. If a buffer can’t be made, what advice would you give others seeking to reduce the stress of regular updates?#WeHeartComics pic.twitter.com/5ipyS6qiOh

— WeHeartComics (@WeHeartComics) April 6, 2018

…I mean, if your comic is suited to irregular updates, you can always just do that.

If not, you’re allowed to take breaks. Just give your readers accurate information about your plans, and then stick to them. Don’t be the person whose site still says “after this short hiatus, My Awesome Comic will return in May 2017!” when it’s April 2018.

If you can’t do irregular updates, and you can’t make a buffer, and it’s too stressful to keep up regular updates, and you can’t even get back from hiatus…then maybe this isn’t the comic you should be doing, and it’s time to gracefully bow out. (More on that next post.)

(Original post.)

#And Shine Heaven Now #But I'm A Cat Person #Webcomic Woes #webcomicchat #webcomics #weheartcomics #writing #Leif & Thorn

[s4g2seomarketingservice]

What Is SEO and How How Has It Changed Over the Years

Many business owners will here hear the phrase 'search engine optimisation' (or SEO) from friends in the business community or even competitors and may consider it as a route to increasing sales, but what is SEO? Alternatively, a business owner may have tried 'SEO services' in the past and found it either didn't work as well as expected or was working, but no longer as effective - this article explains what SEO is, and why 'new' SEO is working better than ever.

I have been working in search engine optimisation and ranking website market, before it was even called SEO. Here are the changes in SEO since the start of the new millennium and what you should be looking for in the SEO services that your SEO Agency offers or provides.

We take a look back at SEO through the years and explain what SEO is today and how best to utilise it for our website.

SEO in 2000

Back at the start of the Millennium the 'big' search engines that most people were using were Lycos and Excite. Of course, back then a very small percentage of the UK population had access to the internet and those that did had a slow 'dial-up' system.

Websites were one or two pages with basic information to allow them to load quickly (within 20 seconds). SEO practices back then were to 'hide' as many keywords on a page as possible, so the website was found for those searches without making the page look to spammy for visitors.

In 2002 Google launched something called 'AdWords' and it was predicted to be the death of SEO, as people could pay for prominence, on the now the number 1 website for starting internet searches.

In 2003, Yahoo purchased Inktomi, AltaVista and FAST, which was basically the end of all of the 'smaller' search engines. Google started to stamp down on 'spam' practices and websites. At the same time Google realised that 'AdWords' were not going to kill off SEO and that in fact the 'natural listings' encouraged visitors back to their search engine platform. Google started to recognise 'professional SEO' experts and promoted good SEO rather than spamming SEO.

2004 saw the first website 'banned' from the internet as Google took action against websites that were spamming them. They also took legal action against the "SEO Company" responsible.

To rank a website in 2006 you just needed links back to your website and so buying links / link exchange was all the rage and most websites had a web page where they would list companies and links to their website (I am still amazed how many websites continue this practice).

Between 2004 and 2008 Google, now was the only real "player" in the search engine world, started taking action against poor linking practices and companies and started tightening up on spam and buying links. The 'Noughties" ended with all "naughty" SEO practices being practically stamped out, as Google concentrated on ranking websites based on their content and it's relevance to the search being carried out.

SEO in 2010

Between 2010 and 2015 we started to see the search engines take notice of 'Social Media' sites and soon the results were filled with Twitter 'tweets' in the results. (I can still see the face of one of my customers when searching Google for his business, and the whole first page of the search results were compiled of tweets of a Twitter conversation that two members of staff had been having about how terrible the company was!)

Videos and images were also brought in to the search results with the Google 'Caffeine' update.

Google introduced "personal search results" with the websites shown in the search results based on your previous searches and websites you had visited before. This caused a 'bit of a stir' in the SEO world as customers claimed their websites were "top of Google" for any search they did related to their industry, just because they had visited their own website many times before, so Google of course fed them back the website for all relevant searches. This can still be a bit of an issue until you show them the new 'Google Incognito search'.

The focus on ranking websites was on being found for BIG keywords. A 'Plumber' in Bristol would want to rank for that search, and so that was the focus.

Google 'Panda' and 'Penguin' updates figuratively killed off 'link exchanges' with huge penalties for websites who had irrelevant links pointing towards them. At the same time Google introduced "no follow links" to allow websites to provide relevant links to other websites and information without penalising either party. It was the start of "safe linking". Quality and relevant content was now the key to ranking in the search engines.

A report by the 'Office For National Statistics' in 2014 stated:

38 million adults (76%) in Great Britain accessed the Internet every day, 21 million more than in 2006, when directly comparable records began.

Access to the Internet using a mobile phone more than doubled between 2010 and 2014, from 24% to 58%.

74% of all adults bought goods or services online, up from 53% in 2008. Clothes (49%) were the most popular online purchase in 2014.

Of all adults in Great Britain, 67% are aware of Internet storage space services, but the take up of these services to store data is much lower at 35%.

In Great Britain, 22 million households (84%) had Internet access in 2014, up from 57% in 2006.

Fixed broadband Internet connections were used by 91% of households.

The UK was now (almost) internet savvy and usage of mobile phones to visit websites was huge.

SEO 2015 and Onwards

The biggest change to the search engines in 2015 was the 'penalisation' of websites that were not "mobile friendly" - a mobile friendly website has different information for the smaller screen to make it easier for the user to read and understand. In ensuring that users got the best experience Google started ranking mobile friendly or responsive websites (where the website automatically changes its size and format to fit the screen) higher in the rankings.

The UK population were using their mobile phones for local searches, and local companies could at last gain an advantage over the large corporates or 'national' companies on the internet.

The introduction of 'semantic search', where Google brings back websites in the results not based on the keywords, but the content on a page, again changed the way SEO agencies looked at working on websites. Ranking for the 'Big' keywords, such as 'Plumber Bristol' became less important, as internet users became more savvy with their searches. 'Long tail keywords', and as many as possible, started to grow website visitors and more importantly, conversions.

What is The SEO Process Today?

It is probably correct to say that the processes or practices associated with search engine optimisation have now out grown the term 'SEO'

In years gone by working the content and structure of a website was enough. Now, there is so much more to do to not only rank a website in search engines, but to get customer engagement. A better description of the service would be 'digital marketing'.

Old practices, as mentioned earlier, meant 'big' keywords were key to ranking. A focus on a single keyword per page or even for a whole website would rank the business and back then it was all about 'rankings'.

Old way of doing SEO

Today there are a number of factors to consider in regards to SEO. 'Semantic search' is the main driver and conversion the main goal, not rankings.

Semantic search is where Google returns information on the page, not the description the website creator input, back to the searcher. An example of this would be to take the 'Plumber Bristol' example. A few years ago you would have concentrated on ranking the business for "Plumber Bristol", "Plumber in Bristol" and perhaps "Emergency Plumber Bristol" - although this still holds true for businesses that offer a solution for 'distress purchases' (where time and a solution outweigh the need for information and advice) better practice throughout a website is to add content that offers advice and guidance and includes 'long tail keywords' (3 or 4 word searches) such as "Emergency plumber with free callout in Bristol" or "Reviews for an Emergency Plumber near me". Google wants the user to have the best experience and find the relevant information quickly, and semantic search achieves this. This is also sensible for a business owner. Would you rather your website was found by a searcher looking for "Plumber Bristol" where they could be after information, looking to get a job, looking for a plumbing service that you may not offer, or for a specific and targeted search such as "best emergency Plumber near BS7″? "Plumber Bristol" will get you a website visitor, being found for "best emergency Plumber near BS7″ will get you a customer.

In terms of keywords this is the largest change Google have made and it is here to stay. SEO or digital marketing is no longer about where you rank, but how many different search terms you can be found for and their conversion in to paying customers.

Website Content

A few years ago (and only 2 or 3 years ago) Google suggested to professional SEO Agencies that 300 words on a page was sufficient content. Last year they stated the MINIMUM should be at least 500 words.

Every day I am asked to review a website by a potential customer - and most of them have between 150 to 250 words on a page. This is common practice. There are two ways to look at this. Either Google has to change it's expectations as most websites do not meet their grade or another way to look at this is as an easy way to jump the competition by simply adding content to your website. Do you think Google will lower it's expectations or expect websites to improve to their standard? Google released the 'mobile friendly' update knowing that somewhere around 80% of websites would need to be upgraded - and they did it anyway as it benefitted over 50% of there users. Quality content effects 100% of their users.

I recommend to our customer about 800 words per page. This is enough content to be 'semantic search' friendly, provide relevant content and not be too word heavy.

Good practice is to have:

Page Title - say what the page is about ('Big' Keyword if you must)

Headline - asking a question

First paragraph explains briefly explains the content / solution

Image / or video

Longer description of the solution

Take our Emergency Plumber in Bristol, as an example

Page Title: Emergency Plumber Bristol

Headline: Are you looking for the best emergency plumber near you in Bristol?

First Paragraph: Smith Plumbing offer a 24 hour emergency plumbing service in Bristol. We do not charge a call out fee and can be with you in 20 minutes. That is why our customer reviews and feedback say we are the best emergency plumbing service in your area. Call now on...

Image of the van or the Plumber looking professional

Longer description: What they can fix, common problems they resolve, some of the quotes from their customers etc.

This has a number of benefits.

Firstly, those people who just want a Plumber will read the first paragraph, see the image of the van (build authority and professionalism) and call the Plumber. Other people will want more information which they can find further down the page. Is this cheating at SEO? Absolutely NOT. You are providing relevant information to the user and Google will love you for it. How content is structured and written on a page is the "new" SEO.

The second benefit is that your website will start to be found for a combination of the words on the page - semantic search - in the example above the Plumber could be found by customers and potential customers looking for "Smith Plumbing","emergency Plumber near me", "Emergency Plumber in Bristol", "Best24 hour emergency plumbing service in Bristol", "emergency plumber Bristol reviews" and dozens more search terms. If you were a Plumber would you rather be found for one big keyword or multiple relevant customer converting keywords? I thought so, and so does Google.

Old practices were to create website content for the search engines. Now you must create content to provide value for customers. This is an easier process than you might think.

What were the last 5 customer enquiries to your business? What was the problem they were trying to resolve? Write about the problem and your solution.

Link Building

The historic way of 'link building' was to get as many links from as many places as possible. This year we has a very large company contact us about their SEO and they were horrified when we suggested that they needed to remove their 1.4 MILLION links back to their website as they had spent a fortune over the years buying the links. Irrelevant links, and the more you have the more detrimental it is, highlights to Google the irrelevance of your website - regardless of how relevant it might be.

Today, a few, relevant links is far better than a Million links back to your website. Today, links have to be built through engaging relationships. Taking our Plumber once more, a link back from the 'Gas Safe register', a local plumbing centre or bathroom showroom, and a few local websites that like his information would be enough.

Social Media

Even though we still get a some companies like this now, a few years ago when we suggested businesses should be on Facebook I was normally told "Facebook - that is for teenagers isn't it? That is not our market". If done well, Facebook can drive more traffic and paying customers to your door than your website. Facebook's largest user group is 25 to 34 year olds, second largest is the 35 to 44 years old age group. The 45 to 54 year olds are using Facebook more than teenagers, and as nearly as much as 18 to 24 year old.

Facebook Users UK age - courtesy of statista

Facebook allows a business to build a brand, engage customers, get customer reviews and instant customer feedback. Unlike reviews on your website which potential customer may see if they visit your website, a review on Facebook is seen immediately by all of the users friends and if their friend 'likes' the comment - all of their friends, friends. More and more of our customers are getting leads from Facebook. People are asking their friends for suggestions on businesses to use and getting dozens of suggestions back - if you are on Facebook you are more likely to get a direct link to your contact information.

What is next for 'Social Media'? Live streaming! Twitter has purchased a company called 'Periscope' which allows you to live stream video from your phone. "So what?" I hear our 'emergency plumber' asking. If I were a Plumber I would be live streaming my work as I fix a problem, with the video going out live to all of my followers and their friends - my own television channel that is free-to-air across the whole world. Next time your business conducts a 'brain storming session' - periscope it - your customer will tell you what the solutions are.

Video Marketing

There are no 'old' SEO practices for video as it just didn't exist and when YouTube started out it was for showing funny videos of cats and the like.

Today that has all changed. YouTube is the second largest search engine in the world and is owned by Google. YouTube has over 1 BILLION users worldwide and every minute, 300 hours of videos are uploaded. It would take you about 2 years to watch all of the videos that will be uploaded in the next hour. It would take you the rest of your life to watch all the videos uploaded today. Google's own statistics say that by 2018 73% of searches put into a search engine will result in the person watching a video. Think of it another way, in a couple of years when 10 people search the internet for your product or service - 7 of them will watch a video, 2 will visit a website. That is why I create videos for our customers as part of our 'digital marketing service'.

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#seo #seo services

[tobns]

                            BREAKING CASTLE WALLS (2017)

                                                               click beneath the cut for more (do it) !

so, i decided that i wasn’t gonna post anything about what i was working on for nanowrimo up until i at least hit 50k (which has taken much longer than i anticipated, but i did it and that’s all that matters) because i failed in epic proportions last year with sfp, and i've said so many times over the last 5 years that i’ve “been working on the book version of bcw” only for that to fail as well, and i’d kick myself if i put it out there that i was working on this yet again, hype you guys up and fail yet again — HOWEVER, i am officially 50k+ in and still going pretty strong, therefore i feel pretty confident that this is gonna stick

talking with jackie inspired me to finally push forward to this; my excuse every other time was that “there will be a better time to do it” and i came to the conclusion while planning with amanda that there will never be a “better time” and i need to just do it. and so i did. after five painstaking years, i have written bcw the fucking book.

a lot has changed; movie plots, essential storylines, names, ages, characters, whole nine yards - bcw is now somewhat able to stand on its own two feet separate from fandom, which has been a really big worry of mine. i’m only 50k in, which equates to about chapter 3 in the original bcw, however, with this version of bcw, i’m only writing about their time filming. the mall tour bit almost stands as its own individual story and realistically, following both my plan for this AND adding in bcw 23-44 makes for a book the length of an unabridged dictionary, which publishers/agents are not going to want to pick up. this leads into my next point — i have every intention of publishing this. since summer of 2012, the thought of someday publishing bcw has been in my brain, and it has never been a dream i’ve been willing to let go of or compromise. i wanted it then, and i want it now. i’ve self-published twice now, with both tempted and transient, and while that’s been a rewarding process, i want to go about things a more traditional way. i want to have this book published by a publishing house; i want to go into barnes and fucking noble and see this sitting on the shelf. that’s the dream, and i’m sticking to it until it’s just no longer a possibility. so where to from here?

first things first, i need to actually finish (timeline wise, i’m at the start of july and i’m going into mid/late august). depending on how i feel by the end of november, i’ll either keep writing on into december or take a short break, write some other things, catch up on the tv i’ve missed, etc. january and potentially february, i’ll go back and revise, shape things up, make it even better. from there, things are a tad bit hazy: i’ve yet to decide if i’m going to go about the traditional way of finding an agent or if i’m going to take a risk and put the manuscript up on swoonreads. swoonreads, if you don’t know, is an “online community” where you can post your manuscript for said community to see, and depending on a few factors, the book could potentially be published by macmillan. right now, i’m leaning towards this option because it allows you guys access to reading the story sooner than you would be able to if i go about finding an agent before submitting to publishing houses. nothing’s set in stone, though. i’ll keep you updated as time goes on, but please please don’t be scared to give me your thoughts and opinions? as i’ve always said, bcw is just as much y’alls baby as it is mine, and i think it’s only fair that you get some say in the process. it may seem a bit unrealistic, but i would like to have this book in your hands by, at the latest, 2020. if i have to self-publish, i will, but i don’t really want to.

there’s a few people i want to thank really quickly before i get back to writing:

@catolovesclove (i’m tagging you on this url bc it’s what came to mind first, dwi) amanda you have been my saving grace during the last 21 days and i love you more than i can put into words. i could not, cannot, and will not do any of this without you. 

@pixiedustandverygoodadvice i met you through this story, and it’s so much of your baby as it is mine. thanks for meeting jackie, bc we both know that’s what got us here - our dramatic readings of bcw have been the highlight of this month, you give jackie a voice in my head and i just love you so much

@shadcwthings you keep me sane, and have done so especially well this month, thanks for putting up with me

@orchidellee years and years ago, you sent me a message saying “even if you have moved on from that chapter in your life, don’t forget how amazing bcw was and how many people you made happy!!” i have it screenshotted on my phone, and every single day for the last month i have looked at that message to remind myself why i love this story so much, why it’s important, and to keep me moving even in the slumps. i never replied to it because i knew i’d need it at some point, and this was it. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart

@brinshannara your advice on my posts about nano really has kept me moving, so thank you, and i love you so so much. i went from loathing everything i had to writing ~300 words to 4.5k just with your encouragement

@alwaysthreegoodthings you have sent me so many kind, thorough, thoughtful messages over the years about my writing and they have never gone unnoticed or unappreciated. i’ve gone back and read them quite a bit over the last month because they held some advice i needed to hear and just...thankyou. i love you. 

@eretriahs @greaseful @farrah-fawcett-spray @lttleodesta @martinskis @scfiafalcone @jeemmasimmons @brokencastlewalls @podamerons @lessthanthreejoanamarie / @speak-yourheartout @flicitysmoak @submeringue @hereistheplacewhereiloverue @dangerouskoshy y’all have been around since the dawn of time, always willing to talk with me or liked my posts about “the thg days” and every time i got so exhausted with pushing through a chapter, i thought about how y’all were there every friday reading, every summer fangirling and i just...kept at it. y’all were my motivation then, and y’all have been my motivation now. ily all

there are so many of you who have changed urls, moved blogs, stay anonymous, or are long gone and may not even see this that i want to personally mention, but for every single one of you who clicked on that read more, send me a message, followed my blog, played any single part in the bcw madness, i literally couldn’t have done it without you. seriously - on days i was in a low, i went back through my blog back in 2012 and 2013, read all the posts and messages and comments and it reminded me of how much i loved this story, this world, and these characters. you kept my dream alive, and for that, i love you and thank you. 

okay i’m done being annoying and sappy, i’ve got some arguments to write!! if you wanna know more, shoot me an ask, but until then, i’ll be 84 pages deep in word and jamming to reputation xx

#nanowrimo #breaking castle walls #alexbelle #update

[littlefoxesonthehillside]

Another survey I found. Because I’m bored af.

1) Sexuality?

Gay.

2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Lily Tomlin.

3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“should have continued to talk of it, and allowed their guest to re-”

4) What do you think about most?

Movies, wrestling, men.

5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?

Thumbs up emoji.

6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Usually with.

7) What’s your strangest talent?

I used to be able to shimmy up doorways.

8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)

Girls should have the same rights as everyone and be treated equally.

Boys are stupid.

9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?

Don’t think so.

10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?

About a week or so ago.

11) Do you have any strange phobias?

I’m afraid of birds.

12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

An almond.

13) What’s your religion?

I’m not religious.

14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Yard work.

15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

It varies, honestly. I’ve been in an early-to-mid-2000s mood lately, so I’ve been listening to The Killers recently.

17) What was the last lie you told?

That I’m doing okay.

18) Do you believe in karma?

Not really.

19) What does your URL mean?

Just the name of my blog, which is a riff on Lillian Hellman’s Little Foxes and the song from Weeds that goes “little boxes on the hillside.”

20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

Weakness: Caring too much about what others will think. Strength: Empathy.

21) Who is your celebrity crush?

Stanley Tucci.

22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yes.

23) How do you vent your anger?

I use a bunch of curse words.

24) Do you have a collection of anything?

I have a collection of movie ticket stubs that I only update sporadically.

25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Phone.

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I guess.

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

Hate: Airplanes flying over my house. Love: Page-turning.

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?

Right now my “what if’s” are all about the pandemic. Otherwise, I prefer to live in the now.

29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

No to both, honestly. I believe there’s possibly life on other planets, but who’s to say whether they’re anything like us.

30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

My laptop screen for both.

31) Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothing.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Texas.

33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?

Maybe East Coast? Don’t have a strong opinion.

34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Probably Beyonce?

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?

Love.

36) Define Art.

Any form of creative expression (photography, writing, dance, painting, music, etc.) that inspires a distinct, stirring reaction from a spectator, whether in a positive or negative way.

37) Do you believe in luck?

Sometimes.

38) What’s the weather like right now?

Cloudy. Not too hot.

39) What time is it?

5:06 PM

40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I do. Never crashed, thankfully.

41) What was the last book you read?

The Shining by Stephen King

42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Ugh, no.

43) Do you have any nicknames?

No.

44) What was the last movie you saw?

Michael Clayton.

45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Stepped on my foot sideways and possibly broke my right pinky toe. It was swollen and hurt to walk on.

46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?

No.

47) Do you have any obsessions right now?

Fantasy booking WWE.

48) What’s your sexual orientation?

Gay.

49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?

I don’t think so.

50) Do you believe in magic?

No.

51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

I do my best not to. I sometimes find it harder to trust those people, but I try to love them to the best of my ability.

52) What is your astrological sign?

Virgo

53) Do you save money or spend it?

Save what I can.

54) What’s the last thing you purchased?

Gas.

55) Love or lust?

Why not both.

56) In a relationship?

No.

57) How many relationships have you had?

One.

58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can’t.

59) Where were you yesterday?

At my home. The same place I was today and tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day and the next day and

60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

The case for my DVD copy of Mean Girls is pink.

61) Are you wearing socks right now?

No.

62) What’s your favorite animal?

Dogs.

63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Treat others the way you want to be treated.

64) Where is your best friend?

Not sure.

65) Spit or swallow?(;

Spit.

66) What is your heritage?

German. I also have a great-great-great grandmother who was Native American.

67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching a movie.

68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?

Trump.

69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Yeah.

70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

There’s only one me. I have a lot of strong qualities that would make for a great friendship, but the key to being a good friend is accepting people for who they are.

71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog. Explain what happened.

72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) Probably.

b) Spend it with people I care about.

c) Probably.

73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Love.

74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

"By the Way” by Red Hot Chili Peppers

75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

****

76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Trust, communication, love.

77) How can I win your heart?

I have famously low standards, so you could so much as breathe a certain way and I’d be in love. lol

78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Almost certainly.

79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Any good decisions I’ve made would be an oasis in a desert of bad ones. That being said, adopting my now-deceased dog would probably be up there.

80) What size shoes do you wear?

11

81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

If my mother could see me now.

82) What is your favorite word?

Wiggle.

83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

My cousin’s heart condition.

84) What is a saying you say a lot?

Drive safe.

85) What’s the last song you listened to?

I was listening to Coldplay’s Viva La Vida album in its entirety.

86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?

Blue

87) What is your current desktop picture?

88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I don’t believe in blowing people up.

89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Depends on who’s asking, but “Why are you sad? would be one.

90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

I’d shit a brick.

91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Invisibility. So many advantages.

92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Storytelling Festival 2007. Orange backpack night. Don’t ask.

93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

I don’t wanna say.

94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Willie Nelson.

95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Private island with a year’s worth of supplies for me and everyone I love.

96) Do you have any relatives in jail?

I definitely have relatives who’ve been in jail. And one who’s at risk of being in jail.

97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I have! Trip to Disney World.

98) Ever been on a plane?

No, unfortunately.

99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

WEAR A DAMN MASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[visawords]

Is Discover Mobile App Still Relevant? | discover mobile app

Apple’s adaptable App Abundance in iOS 14

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Every acknowledged belvedere has its celebrity days.

For the iOS App Store, it was the aboriginal years afterwards the barrage about 12 years ago back alike a fart app could be acknowledged and cull in added than bisected a actor installs. For Google Play, it was in the years afterwards 2012 back there weren’t millions of apps on the belvedere yet.

Today, things are different.

And it’s one of the affidavit why — forth with belvedere shares of acquirement — Apple in accurate is adverse accretion antitrust scrutiny. And why Apple was afresh in the account for all the amiss affidavit as the aggregation alone Basecamp’s Hey email app mostly over banking reasons, about blame it off the App Abundance afore an eleventh-hour deal.

Because you’ll pay added as a adaptable developer for advance than for simple distribution.

“Back in the day, bodies would go in the App Abundance and think, wow, like, let’s see what’s there. Let’s ascertain new stuff,” Denys Zhadanov told me afresh on the TechFirst podcast. “Now it has adapted into a administration model, it’s not about analysis anymore.”

Zhadanov is a VP at Readdle, which has seven top-30 apps on the App Abundance including Spark, an email app, Scanner Pro, and PDF Expert.

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That’s inevitable, ultimately.

Even admitting iOS 11 was advised to adapt the App Abundance and access analysis of new apps with new chase and new content, back you accept over nine actor apps on the two above platforms, it absolutely doesn’t amount how acceptable Google Play or the App Abundance is: there’s aloof too abundant for any alone app to angle abundant adventitious of accepting noticed.

Which doesn’t beggarly either the App Abundance or Google Play are abhorrent now.

Quite the opposite. Frankly, the absurd advance of TikTok shows — admitting contempo challenges in India — that there’s no belvedere absolutely like avant-garde adaptable platforms for massive accelerated growth.

“The App Abundance ecosystem is a amazing and astounding abode for developers from all the altered locations in the apple to [create] article amazing and administer that to 1.5 billion devices,” Zhadanov says.

One of the challenges, however, is that the Google Play and App Abundance guidelines accept not necessarily kept up with alteration business models. The Basecamp email app was a cable app: if Basecamp had congenital it application the App Abundance for payments, Apple would accept taken a 30% cut of revenue, bottomward to 15% in consecutive years.

Google has a agnate fee anatomy in place.

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“There is no adventitious in blood-soaked hell that we’re activity to pay Apple’s ransom,” Basecamp’s CTO David Heinemeier Hansson tweeted. “I will bake this abode bottomward myself, afore I let abyss like that circuit it for spoils. This is profoundly, perversely calumniating and unfair.”

Think administration against discovery.

If analysis is the model, a belvedere or account is allowance new users who would never accept accepted about you ascertain what you do. That brings new money into your pocket, and for that service, a 30% fee isn’t prohibitive. It’s a commission, essentially, that drops to 15% in afterward years. Afterwards all, new barter are new barter … and it costs some money to run an adaptable app store, afterwards all.

But if it’s aloof about administration — a abundant added hands-off archetypal that about irenic transfers a artefact from a ambassador to a chump — the 30% seems expensive.

(Especially back there’s about a abstruse Apple affairs for too-big-to-ignore players like Netflix and Amazon Prime Video that bypasses any fees at all.)

This accomplished affair has big implications for the antitrust affect that Apple���s adverse in Europe. One big affair is whether the cable fees it wants to allegation a aggregation like Spotify, which competes with Apple Music, are a aggressive disadvantage. Afterwards all, does Apple Music accept to pay the iOS App Abundance a 15-30% agency on chump sign-ups?

And if it did, would Apple Music be assisting in and of itself? That’s acceptable a austere catechism for Europe’s antitrust lawyers.

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As far as Readdle is concerned, however, Apple’s cable appraisement isn’t awfully unfair. At atomic for them.

“I do accept that’s accomplished for some businesses for example, area the margins are cool high, like for archetype ourselves,” Zhadanov says. “When it comes to Spotify, right, it aloof makes or break their business.”

Spotify, of course, operates a music business (and a growing podcast business). The music alive business is awfully low-margin, and Spotify has had agitation axis a accumulation for years.

A sliding calibration ability accomplish added faculty for lower-margin businesses, and ability be added acceptable to businesses like Basecamp, which don’t appetite to duke a third of revenues over to Apple — or Google for that amount — aloof for hosting their apps on a store. And it ability stop some of the loud and awful hassles in the app acquiescence process.

Especially if there’s one appear and accessible appraisement archetypal for everyone, rather than loopholes for behemothic corporations.

Get the abounding argument of Zhadanov and my chat here.

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[seoservices1915-blog]

What Is SEO and How How Has It Changed Over the Years?

Many business owners will here hear the phrase 'search engine optimisation' (or SEO) from friends in the business community or even competitors and may consider it as a route to increasing sales, but what is SEO? Alternatively, a business owner may have tried 'SEO services' in the past and found it either didn't work as well as expected or was working, but no longer as effective - this article explains what SEO is, and why 'new' SEO is working better than ever.

I have been working in search engine optimisation and ranking website market, before it was even called SEO. Here are the changes in SEO since the start of the new millennium and what you should be looking for in the SEO services that your SEO Agency offers or provides.

We take a look back at SEO through the years and explain what SEO is today and how best to utilise it for our website.

SEO in 2000

Back at the start of the Millennium the 'big' search engines that most people were using were Lycos and Excite. Of course, back then a very small percentage of the UK population had access to the internet and those that did had a slow 'dial-up' system.

Websites were one or two pages with basic information to allow them to load quickly (within 20 seconds). SEO practices back then were to 'hide' as many keywords on a page as possible, so the website was found for those searches without making the page look to spammy for visitors.

In 2002 Google launched something called 'AdWords' and it was predicted to be the death of SEO, as people could pay for prominence, on the now the number 1 website for starting internet searches. See here seo

In 2003, Yahoo purchased Inktomi, AltaVista and FAST, which was basically the end of all of the 'smaller' search engines. Google started to stamp down on 'spam' practices and websites. At the same time Google realised that 'AdWords' were not going to kill off SEO and that in fact the 'natural listings' encouraged visitors back to their search engine platform. Google started to recognise 'professional SEO' experts and promoted good SEO rather than spamming SEO.

2004 saw the first website 'banned' from the internet as Google took action against websites that were spamming them. They also took legal action against the "SEO Company" responsible.

To rank a website in 2006 you just needed links back to your website and so buying links / link exchange was all the rage and most websites had a web page where they would list companies and links to their website (I am still amazed how many websites continue this practice).

Between 2004 and 2008 Google, now was the only real "player" in the search engine world, started taking action against poor linking practices and companies and started tightening up on spam and buying links. The 'Noughties" ended with all "naughty" SEO practices being practically stamped out, as Google concentrated on ranking websites based on their content and it's relevance to the search being carried out.

SEO in 2010

Between 2010 and 2015 we started to see the search engines take notice of 'Social Media' sites and soon the results were filled with Twitter 'tweets' in the results. (I can still see the face of one of my customers when searching Google for his business, and the whole first page of the search results were compiled of tweets of a Twitter conversation that two members of staff had been having about how terrible the company was!)

Videos and images were also brought in to the search results with the Google 'Caffeine' update.

Google introduced "personal search results" with the websites shown in the search results based on your previous searches and websites you had visited before. This caused a 'bit of a stir' in the SEO world as customers claimed their websites were "top of Google" for any search they did related to their industry, just because they had visited their own website many times before, so Google of course fed them back the website for all relevant searches. This can still be a bit of an issue until you show them the new 'Google Incognito search'.

The focus on ranking websites was on being found for BIG keywords. A 'Plumber' in Bristol would want to rank for that search, and so that was the focus.

Google 'Panda' and 'Penguin' updates figuratively killed off 'link exchanges' with huge penalties for websites who had irrelevant links pointing towards them. At the same time Google introduced "no follow links" to allow websites to provide relevant links to other websites and information without penalising either party. It was the start of "safe linking". Quality and relevant content was now the key to ranking in the search engines.

A report by the 'Office For National Statistics' in 2014 stated:

38 million adults (76%) in Great Britain accessed the Internet every day, 21 million more than in 2006, when directly comparable records began. Access to the Internet using a mobile phone more than doubled between 2010 and 2014, from 24% to 58%. 74% of all adults bought goods or services online, up from 53% in 2008. Clothes (49%) were the most popular online purchase in 2014. Of all adults in Great Britain, 67% are aware of Internet storage space services, but the take up of these services to store data is much lower at 35%. In Great Britain, 22 million households (84%) had Internet access in 2014, up from 57% in 2006. Fixed broadband Internet connections were used by 91% of households. The UK was now (almost) internet savvy and usage of mobile phones to visit websites was huge.

SEO 2015 and Onwards

The biggest change to the search engines in 2015 was the 'penalisation' of websites that were not "mobile friendly" - a mobile friendly website has different information for the smaller screen to make it easier for the user to read and understand. In ensuring that users got the best experience Google started ranking mobile friendly or responsive websites (where the website automatically changes its size and format to fit the screen) higher in the rankings.

The UK population were using their mobile phones for local searches, and local companies could at last gain an advantage over the large corporates or 'national' companies on the internet.

The introduction of 'semantic search', where Google brings back websites in the results not based on the keywords, but the content on a page, again changed the way SEO agencies looked at working on websites. Ranking for the 'Big' keywords, such as 'Plumber Bristol' became less important, as internet users became more savvy with their searches. 'Long tail keywords', and as many as possible, started to grow website visitors and more importantly, conversions.

What is The SEO Process Today?

It is probably correct to say that the processes or practices associated with search engine optimisation have now out grown the term 'SEO'

In years gone by working the content and structure of a website was enough. Now, there is so much more to do to not only rank a website in search engines, but to get customer engagement. A better description of the service would be 'digital marketing'.

Old practices, as mentioned earlier, meant 'big' keywords were key to ranking. A focus on a single keyword per page or even for a whole website would rank the business and back then it was all about 'rankings'.

Old way of doing SEO

Today there are a number of factors to consider in regards to SEO. 'Semantic search' is the main driver and conversion the main goal, not rankings.

Semantic search is where Google returns information on the page, not the description the website creator input, back to the searcher. An example of this would be to take the 'Plumber Bristol' example. A few years ago you would have concentrated on ranking the business for "Plumber Bristol", "Plumber in Bristol" and perhaps "Emergency Plumber Bristol" - although this still holds true for businesses that offer a solution for 'distress purchases' (where time and a solution outweigh the need for information and advice) better practice throughout a website is to add content that offers advice and guidance and includes 'long tail keywords' (3 or 4 word searches) such as "Emergency plumber with free callout in Bristol" or "Reviews for an Emergency Plumber near me". Google wants the user to have the best experience and find the relevant information quickly, and semantic search achieves this. This is also sensible for a business owner. Would you rather your website was found by a searcher looking for "Plumber Bristol" where they could be after information, looking to get a job, looking for a plumbing service that you may not offer, or for a specific and targeted search such as "best emergency Plumber near BS7″? "Plumber Bristol" will get you a website visitor, being found for "best emergency Plumber near BS7″ will get you a customer.

#seo

[sarahstreetmedia]

Think Your Privacy Is Protected? Think Again.

They hacked my Instagram account last December. My account was down for two weeks, and Instagram was no help. No one ever replied. I went to Facebook and registered as an app developer then requested help for advertising. Whala. Someone called within hours. They restored my account within minutes. But what was the purpose of the hack? Why was my account blocked and not deleted? What happened?

Social media attracts hundreds of millions of users each day. Hacking requires little skill and we can purchase programs like keylogging at Amazon. Malicious coding, spyware, and proprietary information theft are commonly used for simple hacks. With the press of one key, your information is stolen. In my case, I opened an email in my Inbox, the mail looked identical to Instagrams logos, lettering and letterhead. “Your Instagram account has been compromised. Reset your password.” I pressed the link. My account was gone.

Software assures protection, and in most cases even advertise its protection, but If you read the fine print most policies will tell you in the Terms and Conditions they don’t take responsibility for your loss data.

They can buy our personal data for as little as  $0.20, 2018 Current State Of Crime.  Because it sells for so cheap, this makes sellers work harder,  hunting down personal data anyway they can.

Facebook CEO, Mark Zuckerberg is under the microscope for selling major company’s information to Russia. I hope Zuckerberg goes down.

When you download your data from social media platforms, you’ll probably be shocked to discover what they have stored. Think you deleted it years ago? Think again. Nothing ever gets deleted. If someone hacked your account, they have access to everything you have ever typed, including what you sent via private message and your previous passwords.

1 out of 5 files aren’t protected. Your software device firewall and added software security are not protecting you entirely. When you install an app, it asks for permission to gain access in your device. And that is exactly what they have, access.

Cybercrime is more profitable than drug trade.

Despite the payout of personal data, cybercrime is incredibly expensive and the most expensive part is loss. In 2015 cybercrime caused a whopping 3 trillion in damages and it’s estimated to cause 6 trillion in damages by 2021.  When our credit reporting agencies and emails are hacked, this number increases at an enormous rate and speed.

We may think it’s bigger companies to blame for Cyber breaches, but in fact 95% of security failures  are the customers fault.

Microsoft Office file formats (Excel, Word, Power point), compromise the most prevalent group of malicious file extensions.  Making up 38% of Cyber attacks, effecting you daily. These are commonly sent as extensions or attachments in emails and are utilized by most people. These Microsoft file formats are vectors for malware and are easily overlooked.

WordPress is a free and open source website tool; popular software that’s powering nearly half of all websites on the Internet. But 73.2% of all Wordpress installations are open to vulnerabilities.

Crypto Hacking attacks are up by 8,500% yet the unemployment rate for Cyber security jobs are approaching 0%. Reaching 3.5 million needed jobs to fill by 2021.  This market is growing too fast for the world to keep up.

Androids are at extreme risk. Malicious software that is installed on android platforms has increased by 400%. People tend to be more relaxed with their cell phones, probably because most of us carry it with ourselves. Only 50% buy added protected on their smartphones and 72% on their laptops and desktops computers.  It’s  likely that our smartphones store more data than our desktops and laptops. In a hyper-connected world the majority of us use our phones for everything. We have become overly connected and have developed a deep loving relationship with our phones. We tend to trust it, it’s our safety for so many reasons. Therefore, we  input more personal information on our phones than on our computers.

Over half of China’s electronic devices are infected. China is the #1 country with the most infected malware. There are billions of malware samples, “PandaLabs, the laboratory of Panda Security, detected and neutralized more than 84 million new malware samples throughout 2015.” Last year there were 304 million samples detected in the world. It’s estimated that over 230,000 new malware samples are produced daily in China and roughly 1 million new threats are released every day in the world, CNN Business, 2014.

It can take seconds to steal your data. Below is a list of malware and hacking techniques to beware of.

Digital extortion:  one of the most lucrative ways cybercriminals can profit. Hackers steal files or photos from a victim’s computer and demand a ransom in exchange for a key to decrypt their files. The bulk of digital extortion is done with ransomware attacks. Other types include, phishing, negative review and spamming (the cybercriminal will retract the negative review for cost), and blackmail.

Common ploy: Send 300k in Bitcoin or the cybercriminal will release personal and private information about you. They may even have a video of you doing someone that makes you feel guilty. Or they may threaten to have a video of you or know something about you doing something that makes you feel guilty to cave in. They will most likely provide your accurate banking information and personal information to validate that they are in fact real hackers to scare you. Therefore the blackmail works so well. Especially if you have kids and loved ones you want to protect. What should you do? Save yourself 300k in Bitcoin. Change your passwords and bank information. Don’t entertain them.

Guilt has made many people prosper.

If you are computer savvy, check your terminal and look for anything unusual. You can open Terminal from Utilities. Type ‘man’ followed by a space and then the process name, e.g. “man nefwork.

Social media scams. Users do all the work for the cybercriminal just by sharing a video or story on sketchy sites. The virus spreads rapidly because people are more likely to click on something posted by a friend.

Likejacking and clickjacking are common social media spam hoaxes made in an attempt to steal your private information. A common ploy, “Facebook will donate $1 toward the child’s care for every like.” Cyber thieves will say anything to convince the reader to hit the link to embed the malware in your device.

Proxy hijacking is when a hacker creates a copy of the victims web page on a proxy server, using keyword stuffing techniques, linking the original site to a copied website hoping to increase search engine rankings. The victims site will then rank lower. Search engines like Google will see the victims site as a duplicated website, then Google might remove it from its index.

Keylogging is common in the workforce and keylogging software is available on Amazon. Keylogs record your information by recording your keystrokes. Information is gathered and collected over time.  If you keep getting the same email threat, chances are, your keystrokes are being recorded. Keylogs are also commonly used in the home, it’s a common a program purchased for someone with trust issues.

Malware is hard to detect. Its intention is to cause damage to a device, server, or network.

Trojan is a computer program which misleads users convincing them the content is true.

Spyware  Like keyloggers, this software aims to gather information by recording your keystrokes and activities. The information can be sent to another entity without the consumer’s knowledge.  A common example is when a cybercriminal waits for the user to install an update. Then they have access to your devices.

A crawler or hunter is not malware or a virus, instead it wreaks havoc on your device and disrupts browsing activity.

Phishing. 1 in 3 emails are phishing. “Roughly 12 percent are victims of the actual infections that result from phishing.”

What can you do? Educate yourself on keyloggers, Trojans, spyware and malware. Protect yourself against malicious apps and third-party tools. Beware of apps and software asking permission for sms, microphone access, and device permission. Beware of fraudulent email accounts. Hackers use email names from companies we recognize then imitate a company’s name to look similar: @gmail.com, @gmall.com.

Never download from 3rd party sites, change passwords weekly and Include specialized characters, capital letters and numbers.  Never use the same password for over one account. When you receive a text asking to validate a pin, keep in mind, it might be a hack.  Instead, use an old unactivated phone for two factor authentications for extra protection.

When you open a suspected email,  check the URL on your desktop. An unsafe URL starts with http:// a protected URL starts with https:// Know that there are ways to manipulate a URL. so it looks like it is a trusted company.  Also know that there are sites you go incognito with to get a URL checked out.

Remember that open networks and WEP security, aren’t secure at all.  Consider changing your proxy when using Wi-Fi networks that are shared. Change or hide your IP address. Hackers can exploit your IP address. But they can’t do much if your firewall is on, your firewall stops them from entering your programs, they can get into your ports. Your personal details and your IP address are not connected, so that is false, your IP does not provide information about you. Consider using an extra hardware firewall for added protection and block your IP address. 

Some sites will prevent your account from logging in if you use a different IP address then what you normally used to log in. I can easily unblock mine when logging into sites with difficulty.  Working in social media, I find a lot of third-party sites change their IP for privacy and assign one specifically to you. It’s also good to change your proxy settings to prevent proxy hijacking.

Unfortunately, it’s impossible to avoid all hacks. But we can educate ourselves on what we can control and protect ourselves.

Sarah Simplot

March 10, 2019

[additionallysad]

#131: The Surprising Side Effects Of Going TV Free http://bit.ly/2BAoHNd

We were both pretty shocked about the results of going completely without television for a while – especially Sherry. So today we’re sharing what we learned, what was hard, and the side effects that even we didn’t see coming. Not to mention the big question of how it will impact our viewing habits moving forward. We also tried a new paint picking method to see if it could solve a wall color conundrum at the beach house. Plus, Sherry updates you on her “tooth jail” sentence and I bask in the nerdy glory of pairing paint with geography.

You can download this episode from Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, TuneIn Radio, and Spotify – or listen to it below! Note: If you’re reading in a feed reader, you may have to click through to the post to see the player.

What’s New

There are some of the pink swatches we tested for the beach house living room (sorry the shot’s not great – it was a quick phone picture on a cloudy day). Those removable vinyl paint color decals above are from Clare and we got them for free using a discount code they were running on Twitter. They’re usually $2 each, but as of typing this I noticed there’s a “5 for $5 & free shipping” code at the top of their site.

Our original discussion of Clare Paint is in Episode #109 from last summer if you want to hear more about why it piqued our interest.

The three colors we got were Wing It, Baby Soft, and Rosé Season. And honestly, looking at the photos again I’m tempted to think they were better than we remember… but alas, it was pretty immediately clear in person that they weren’t 100% right.

And below is a picture of the package we got a few weeks ago from Backdrop, their competitor in the online paint space.

The four decal samples we bought (also $2 a piece) were Harajuku Morning, Rose Quartz, Modern Love (below) and Not So Delicate (above).

I didn’t get pictures of all of the swatches on the wall (we didn’t even put one of them up because it was clearly too dark) but this one view gives you a sense of how we’re trying to balance what works with the undertones of the chimney (and the gray trim) – so it’s kind of a tall order.

We haven’t gotten a good shot of our new couch in the beach house living room yet, but we’ll share a picture soon. It’s the Mellow Sofa from our furniture line, which is currently sold out (thank you guys!!) but we’re working on getting it back in stock.

We also used some “DIY” paint sample decals to pick the color at the duplex a while back. We talk about it more in this post, but here are the decals we used. You have to buy your paint samples separately and paint two coats onto the decals yourself – so it’s not a faster or cheaper process, but it’s great for choosing a color with confidence.

Lastly, if you’ve missed Sherry’s other Invasalign updates (rants?), here’s where you can catch up:

Getting them back in 2016 in Episode #20

Adding elastics to the fun in 2017 in Episode #62

Her “tooth jail” sentence getting extended well into 2018 in Episode #84

State Your Colors Quiz

Here’s where you can find all of the State Your Colors paint trios that Sherwin Williams puts together:

And it turns out my suggestion of Chesapeake for Virginia is actually an exterior stain color and Sherry’s “made up” Dogwood White isn’t that far off – there’s a White Dogwood (that’s actually pink)!

TV Free Week

If you missed the original mention of a TV free experiment, it came up during our Joshua Becker interview in Episode #128.

Sherry also mentioned this Happy Salmon game we’ve been playing with our kids a lot this past week. We’ve also been hitting up Life Jr. and Tenzi.

You also may want to check out our post about cutting the cable (aka: ditching cable TV). In addition to saving us lots of money each year (around $1000!), it led to a lot of positive impacts on our viewing habits because not all of our regular shows were available in our new streaming package, so it was an opportunity to realize we didn’t really miss all of the TV we had been watching.

We’re Digging

Our furniture is on sale at Joss & Main this week (!!!) so if you’ve had your eye on anything in our line, this is a great time to snag it.

And if nothing else, it’s just been fun to see the random names Joss & Main gave everything. Liverman? Singita?? PREGLO?!?!

White Dining Chairs | Trestle Table

Diamond Chest | Arm Chair

And here’s the Radium Girls book that I read during our TV free week. I forgot to mention that the enraging part of the story is that these women were actually told radium was good for them when they were dipping it in their mouths.

And if you want to enjoy flossing like Sherry (she lives life on the edge, what can I say?), these are the floss picks she’s been weirdly into.

If you’re looking for something we’ve dug in a past episode, but don’t remember which show notes to click into, here’s a master list of everything we’ve been digging from all of our past episodes. You can also see all the books we’ve recommended on our Book Club page.

And lastly, a big thank you to Agility Bed for sponsoring this episode. During their Presidents’ Day sale, enter the code PRESIDENT at AgilityBed.com to get $150 off any size mattress plus a free pair of Therapedic TruCool Memory Foam Pillows!

Thanks for listening, guys!

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post #131: The Surprising Side Effects Of Going TV Free appeared first on Young House Love.

#additionally sad home renovations

[astrology-addict]

1-100

Oh boy, here goes! So this is for everybody else too...

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life? Yes2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them? Hmm no (Scorpio Mars here)3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?” Anime girls who say “meow” in normal conversations 4: What’s something you really want right now? To not have to go to work today!5: Are you afraid of falling in love? Not particularly6: Do you like the beach? I like swimming at the beach, but I HATE the sand!7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else? Yes8: What’s the background on your cell? A photo of the Boyfriend9: Name the last four beds you were sat on? Mine, The Boyfriend’s, my sister’s, and probably the guest bed at The Boyfriend’s house10: Do you like your phone? It’s fine. I would get a more updated model just for a better camera though11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned? Not at all hahaha!12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts? The girl who ran this program I was doing this Spring13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler? Poodle haha14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? Physical, for me at least (Gemini moon here)15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? Art museum!16: Are you tired? Yes, I just woke up!17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact? 1st as in 1st alphabetically? I knew her starting freshman year of HS18: Are they a relative? Nope19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes? Nooooooooo20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with? I texted him about 5 seconds ago21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? Yes!22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes!23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? None, but I usually wear two bracelets + a watch24: Is there a certain quote you live by? Not really lol25: What’s on your mind? I’m only a quarter done with these questions?26: Do you have any tattoos? Nope!27: What is your favorite color? Maroon28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips? Probably this evening29: Who are you texting? The Boyfriend30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch? Yes31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? Yup32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Yesss33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yup34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yess35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? I’d be pissed hahahaha36: Were you single on Valentines Day? Nope37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed? Yesss38: What do your friends call you? Lara!39: Has anyone upset you in the last week? Yess40: Have you ever cried over a text? Probably41: Where’s your last bruise located? My wrist42: What is it from? Oh good lord... um... from being tied down...43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad? Probably my last meeting at work44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with? The Boyfriend45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes? My black leather ankle boots46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day? Nooooo47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style? NOOO48: Do you make supper for your family? Yes!49: Does your bedroom have a door? Umm yes?50: Top 3 web-pages? Tumblr, Facebook, and my college’s website51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping? I don’t think so actually52: Does anything on your body hurt? I have an itch on my ankle haha53: Are goodbyes hard for you? Yess54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself? I don’t remember!55: How is your hair? I just woke up -- so bad56: What do you usually do first in the morning? Check my phone57: Do you think two people can last forever? Yes totally!58: Think back to January 2007, were you single? I was in the 4th grade -- so yes59: Green or purple grapes? Green!60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug? Last night61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Not particularly62: When will be the next time you text someone? Probably in a few minutes63: Where will you be 5 hours from now? Driving from one job to another64: What were you doing at 8 this morning. Sleeeeeping65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked? Probably The Boyfriend66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? The Boyfriend67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Not yet!68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? No idea haha69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Yessssss70: How many windows are open on your computer? Usually about 10000, but just one rn71: How many fingers do you have? Ten72: What is your ringtone? Just the default one -- like the Tmobile theme73: How old will you be in 5 months? 20!!!!!!!!!!!74: Where is your Mum right now? Working out. She literally gets up at 5am every morning and works out until 10am. And I’m just like a fat sack75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love? Well, he’s gay76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Yess77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago? Most of them!78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7? 7th grade? Yes. The gay guy. 79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike? Yup80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms? Yesss81: How many people have you liked in the past three months? Uno82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days? Yess83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Yess84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with? The Boyfriend probably hahaha! But I wouldn’t ever do that. *finger guns* Say no to catcalling!85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care? A great deal86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie? I honestly can’t remember the last time I went to see a movie at  a theatre hahaha!87: Who was your last received call from? The Boyfriend88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you? NO OH GOD NO. Maybe if it was dead89: What is something you wish you had more of? TIME90: Have you ever trusted someone too much? Oh good lord yes91: Do you sleep with your window open? Sometimes92: Do you get along with girls? I wish I got along better with them!93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? I don’t think so94: Does sex mean love? No95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem? Lol no96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring? Oh yikes no97: Did you sleep alone this week? Yesss98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you? Um yes99: Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise? The Boyfriend

#anonymous #answered

[thelmasirby32]

Ecommerce and SEO: Past, present, and post COVID-19

30-second summary:

Ecommerce is suddenly a reality for millions of businesses who may not have had online selling on their radar prior to COVID-19.

Consumers in most countries are cutting back on discretionary spending as optimism for economic recovery has fallen. Groceries, household supplies, personal care, and entertainment are among the categories in which consumers plan to maintain spending.

In this post, we’ll take a look at the current state and how businesses will need to adapt their ecommerce and SEO strategy to succeed post-COVID-19 (whatever that may end up looking like).

As countries including the USA head into phased reopening, countless questions remain about the business landscape ahead. Will changes in consumer behaviour persist and if so, to what degree? Is there a second wave coming that will derail recovery efforts and send consumers back into lockdown? How can you plan for recovery when no one really knows quite what “recovery” means?  

In the face of such uncertainty, one thing is for sure, companies need to get in position to gather and analyze data quickly—to be agile and respond to whatever twists and turns Coronavirus throws our way next. Regardless of industry or location, that responsive, adaptable strategy is going to rely heavily on ecommerce and SEO. 

Ecommerce is suddenly a reality for millions of businesses who may not have had online selling on their radar prior to COVID-19. And while search optimization is a discipline as old as search engines themselves, dramatic differences in consumer behaviour may require an entirely new approach to SEO going forward. In this post, we’ll take a look at the current state and how businesses will need to adapt their ecommerce and SEO strategy to succeed post-COVID-19 (whatever that may end up looking like).

Consumer behaviour and ecommerce: Present state 

Fresh off of an unprecedented leap of $8.5 billion in U.S. CPG (in-store and online) sales during the first two weeks of March, conditions have quickly shifted once again. Panic buying gave way to record-high ecommerce sales in mid-March, after which we saw a week-over-week decline (-22%) in online sales between March 21-28. Overall, according to Nielsen, U.S. ecommerce sales right now are above the rates of one year ago. CPG, in particular, is soaring and up nearly 42% over the week ending April 4, 2019. 

Consumers in most countries are cutting back on discretionary spending as optimism for economic recovery has fallen. Groceries, household supplies, personal care, and entertainment are among the categories in which consumers plan to maintain spending. As of April 19, 32% of US respondents to a McKinsey survey were anticipating a drop in their household income and over half expect the impact on their household finances to persist for four months or more. 

Kantar/Google research shows even greater pessimism and pegs 71% of consumers in G7 countries as expecting their income will be impacted by Coronavirus. 

Source: Think With Google  

Online and phone ordering with contactless delivery or curbside pickup has become the modus operandi for millions of businesses. 

Businesses need to be able to listen closely to consumer fears, needs, and preferences as they evolve. Customers may not be comfortable heading straight back into crowded retail environments. Vacations closer to home may be preferred by many. Businesses will be challenged to understand the customer experience as it’s happening and to respond with optimizations in real-time to meet the individual’s needs.   

In addition to this increased listening and awareness, consumers want to hear from the companies with whom they choose to do business. Even prior to COVID-19, 64% of consumers and 84% of business buyers expected companies to respond to them in real-time, according to Salesforce research. Right now, consumers are looking to brands for guidance and expertise in solving the challenges they are experiencing navigating the path to a new normal. The vast majority of consumers across sectors want to hear from brands just as often or even more than before the Coronavirus pandemic. 

How SEO will drive ecommerce success as the coronavirus pandemic evolves 

The relationship between ecommerce and SEO has become far more complex than how you optimize product listings for search.  

But whether you’re ecommerce first, selling online as a sideline, or now enabling ordering and payment online with curbside or in-store pickup options, the insights gleaned from SEO will power more effective operations across the board. Here’s why: 

SEO provides real-time insight

BrightEdge (disclosure: a client company), back in 2019 surveyed a sample of over 200 digital marketers and found that over 86% of marketers stated the real-time research is critical to success. Furthermore, SEO insights are being used in all manner of digital marketing campaigns across paid search, video, email, and display. 

Real-time search insights – especially now – enable us to tap into localized pockets of demand and appear in front of customers with rapidly evolving needs and intent. SEO insights, more than any other type of data, give us a clear line of sight into the voice of the customer through search queries, interactions with local search results, site analytics, and more. 

SEO paves the way for both desktop and mobile experience

Consumers may not be searching for restaurants during the commute home from the office right now, but that doesn’t diminish the importance of mobile-friendliness, especially when it comes to ecommerce. As Google itself says, when it comes to mobile marketing, “speed is table stakes.”

Staying at home doesn’t necessarily mean switching to desktop, particularly where multiple family members may each be home and browsing on their own mobile device.  

Consider switching to next-gen image formats like JPEG 2000 or WebP for mobile, with PNGs or JPEGs for desktop browsers. Look out for render-blocking resources, inefficient code, unused CSS and other page speed or site speed issues that may be hindering your performance. Use Google’s Test My Site as a starting point.  

Search trends are key in staying on top of customer expectations

Who was even thinking about curbside pickup this time last year? Today, it’s pretty much expected that if you are open for business, you’ll provide this fulfilment option for customers who are not comfortable entering your store (in some places, entering the store may still be prohibited by public health regulatory agencies). 

 Those businesses that caught onto the trend in early to mid-March were ahead of the groundswell in early April. Being among the first in your space to catch onto a massive change in consumer demand such as this can help you win over new business and better serve your existing customer base. Google Trends has a Coronavirus Trends resource business should be keeping an eye on. These are helpful insights for marketing but could influence operations, sales, and customer service, as well. 

Search spans Google, Amazon, YouTube, and more

Organic search commands the largest proportion of channel share, accounting for 53.5% of site traffic, on average. A comprehensive ecommerce SEO strategy accounts for Google, but other product search opportunities, as well. Amazon, for one, cut back its service to third-party sellers but as this comes back online, there may be opportunities to expand your ecommerce presence in the world’s largest marketplace. Check out this guide to improving rankings on Amazon to get you started. 

Video search is another massive opportunity for companies now selling online, as Nielsen reports video streaming is up 100% in some markets due to Coronavirus. Even before lockdown, YouTube was both the world’s second-largest search engine and second-most visited website.  

YouTube SEO takes into consideration factors ranging from watch time and keyword targeting to sentiment, engagement, channel authority and more. Learn more about optimizing this channel in SEW’s YouTube Optimization: Complete Guide.

Post-COVID-19 SEO tips for ecommerce   

Whether you’re an experienced online seller or just transitioning to ecommerce as a result of physical distancing, your customers may be entirely different from who they were even three months ago. A few tips to help you get in front of the right people with the right content: 

Revisit your adherence to ecommerce SEO best practices. You may need to renew your keyword research, update on-page optimizations to reflect changes in consumer behaviour, reorganize your site structure and optimize for the new customer journey, refresh and add new content (particularly around how you are responding to COVID-19-related issues such as food safety or package handling). Ensure that you are monitoring trends in real-time whilst planning for ease of lockdown restrictions, seasonal and product demand. For example, above we can see large demand for products related to how people now are investing in their dwellings, particularly, with spring here and summer coming, and in outdoor spaces, it is important to seize opportunities where demand is high and also plan for future trends and new normal(s).  

Optimize your ecommerce site for voice search. Make sure you’re positioned to trigger a response when consumers ask their voice assistant for a product like yours. If you are not yet familiar with speakable schema, there’s a good primer here to help you get ready for it. 

Automate SEO intelligently. Taking the legwork out of routine SEO tasks can make marketers more efficient, freeing up valuable time for more creative optimizations and strategy. Of course, intelligent automation can dramatically improve search performance, too, by recognizing and optimizing for opportunities in real-time.  

Consider your headless commerce and content options. Make your products and content even more accessible, removing barriers to conversion in the process, by incorporating headless commerce into your strategy. This is the process of separating the front and back ends of your ecommerce application so you can sell directly through social media, for example.   

Most important of all is that you are set up to measure, analyze, and activate the mass of user signals consumers are sharing with you across search interactions and your ecommerce website. Whatever economic conditions and user preferences COVID-19 generates next, those businesses that are able to quickly understand and move on new opportunities will win the day.

The post Ecommerce and SEO: Past, present, and post COVID-19 appeared first on Search Engine Watch.

from Digital Marketing News https://www.searchenginewatch.com/2020/05/19/ecommerce-and-seo-past-present-and-post-covid-19/

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Vietnam’s battalions of ‘cyber armies’ silencing online dissent

Hanoi, Vietnam – Wearing his trademark black fedora, human rights defender Anh Chi updates his YouTube audience on the situation in Dong Tam village, 40km (25 miles) southwest of Vietnam’s capital, Hanoi, the site of a recent deadly dispute over land.

Anh Chi is among the few social media-savvy activists, who are trying to push the boundaries of delivering news and analysis straight to the Vietnamese public. But these days, their voices are increasingly becoming muted due to government restrictions.

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The singer raising her voice against Vietnam’s new cyber law

The deadly January 9 incident in Dong Tam is a case in point.

According to the authorities, three police officers and 84-year-old village leader Le Dinh Kinh were killed after local residents clashed with police in the early hours of that day.

The dispute, over agricultural land next to a military airport, shocked the country.

But afterwards, Vietnam‘s cyber-army, also known as Force 47, was deployed to counter the content on social media platforms deemed critical of the way the authorities handled the situation.

The authorities also arrested three activists over posts made in relation to the dispute, while Facebook users faced restrictions.

“The Vietnamese government’s heavy-handed efforts to censor discussion of this land dispute are the latest example of its campaign to assert control over online content,” Nicholas Bequelin, Amnesty International’s regional director, said in a statement.

“Social media, particularly Facebook, is increasingly becoming weaponised by Vietnam to go after those who peacefully speak their mind. This is an unacceptable attack on freedom of expression and a clear attempt to stamp out dissent.”

‘Force 47’

Vietnam’s Force 47 is run by the Ministry of Public Security (MPS) to hack anti-government websites and spread pro-government messages online, and is believed to be at least 10,000-strong.

Anh Chi, the pen name of 46-year-old Nguyen Chi Tuyen, knows the ministry’s tactics well. He has created videos criticising Force 47, and has expressed concern about the impact of a new cyber-law that came into effect at the beginning of the month.

“I strongly oppose the many articles in it that violate freedom of speech, freedom of expression, and basic human rights,” he said.

Digital rights campaigners accuse Vietnam of attempting to replicate China’s “Great Firewall”  by regulating and censoring the internet  with the cybersecurity law.

Neither Google, which owns YouTube, nor Facebook has complied with the legislation, which requires the American tech giants to open local data storage facilities inside Vietnam by January 1.

The Asia Internet Coalition, a lobby representing Facebook and Google, said the legislation was a step in the wrong direction for the country’s growing digital economy.

The law states that “it is prohibited to use cyberspace to prepare a post and spread information that has the content of propaganda opposing the state of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam, or anything that offends the nation, national flag, national emblem, national anthem, great people, leaders, notable people and national heroes”.

Growing marking of 96 million people

As Vietnamese searched for more information about what happened in Dong Tam a week ago, some Facebook users reported receiving the message online: “Due to legal requirements in your country, we have restricted access to your profile on Facebook. This means that other people in your country cannot see your profile, and may not be able to interact with you over Messenger.”

Vietnam has a population of 96 million. With more than 60 million Facebook users, it is the platform’s one of the fastest-growing markets.

Reporters Without Borders ranks Vietnam near the bottom of its 2019 World Press Freedom Index at 176 out of 180 countries listed [Luong Thai Linh/EPA]

“Facebook is the main source of independent news now in Vietnam,” said Trinh Huu Long, a co-founder of Legal Initiatives for Vietnam.

“The government has been working with Facebook to try to control content posted by dissidents and independent voices,” he added.

Searches for protests in Hong Kong have also been affected. Many, like Anh Chi, blame the cybersecurity law for the filtered information.

“They know people in Vietnam are active on social media, and they follow the news, especially with what’s happening in Hong Kong every day,” he said. “The government fears that one day people in Vietnam will join such protests.”

‘No free press’

Bao Trung, 37, started his own Facebook page called “Bao Sach [Clean Newspaper]” with five other independent journalists in 2019. The whole team used to work for the state-run media.

“Most of the people in Vietnam have Facebook accounts. Anybody can be a reporter now with a smartphone,” Bao Trung said. “I think it’s impossible for the government to control online news and information.”

Vietnam’s dispute with China over its claim on the islands and energy-rich waters in the South China Sea is also sensitive.

Vietnamese people have long viewed their northern neighbour as a threat. In June 2018, there were nationwide protests against the cybersecurity and special economic zone legislation because they were seen as favourable to Beijing.

The authorities reacted quickly to end the protests, which activists described as the biggest in Vietnam since the end of the war in 1975.

Vietnam’s cybersecurity law stipulates that social media platforms must allow the authorities access to local user data. The government has even pledged to create its own Vietnamese platform to rival Facebook, although its attempts have failed.

‘People’s journalist’

The Ministry of Public Security claims the cybersecurity law is needed to stop cyber-threats and attacks against Vietnam.

Independent journalist Pham Chi Dung was arrested last year and is still under investigation without formal charges by police in Ho Chi Minh City.

Anh Chi does not seem bothered by  such threats. He had a blog on Facebook for nine years until he switched recently to YouTube. But with a decade of political activism under his belt, he calls himself “the people’s journalist”.

In a country where state institutions, from citizens committees, to the military and newspapers refer to themselves as “the people’s [nhan dan]”, this claim may ring hollow with his audience – which he said ranges from local street vendors to government civil servants.

With a decade of political activism under his belt, Anh Chi calls himself ‘the people’s journalist’ [Adam Bemma/Al Jazeera]

“I choose to spend my time on YouTube rather than Facebook because Vietnamese people are busy with work,” he said. “They have smartphones, so while they’re working they can listen to the story rather than having to read.”

Reporters Without Borders ranks Vietnam near the bottom of its 2019 World Press Freedom Index at 176 out of 180 countries listed. Freedom House labels Vietnam as “Not free”.

The 88 Project for Free Speech in Vietnam states there are 276 activists currently in prison, while human rights group Defend the Defenders monitored the cases of 36 convicted in 2019.

In 2018, Bao Trung started his Facebook page called ‘Bao Sach’ (Clean Newspaper) with five other independent journalists [Adam Bemma/Al Jazeera]

Vietnam’s government disputes these statistics, but under the country’s legal system they already have several laws to prosecute online dissenters.

Many fear the cybersecurity law is just another layer – a way to deter people even from questioning the government.

Anh Chi is unbowed, saying he will continue to speak out. He dedicated an entire episode on his YouTube channel to Le Dinh Kinh, the elderly man killed in Dong Tam last week.

“If they want to arrest anyone of us, they can do it. There are many laws in the penal code to use against us,” Anh Chi said. “We’re ready to defend our human rights. That’s our challenge and our mission.”

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