tenebraetorian

[tenebraetorian]

[tenebraetorian]

Troll forest in Bunn by danniefraim Via Flickr: The mythical forests around Bunn are reknowned for John Bauer's magical fairy tales. You can almost see the trolls, can't you?

#Troll #beam #bunn #conifer #coniferous #fairy #fairy tale #fantasy #fir #foliage #forest #glow #green #landscape #light #moss #mystery #nature #outdoor #pine #plant #ray #rock #scandinavia #scene #scenic #stone #sun #sunbeam #sweden

[tenebraetorian]

Me irl

[tenebraetorian]

Zhang Yingnan  —  Homeland   (oil on canvas, 2018)

[tenebraetorian]

Meirl

[tenebraetorian]

Some ideas for your NYE outfit

[tenebraetorian]

Jakub Woynarowski  —  Veraicon I  (from the cycle Novus Ordo Seclorum) [pigment print, 2014]

[tenebraetorian]

boys want to think girls are sweet and gentle. girls want to think boys are strong and kind.

those are the positive aspects of each. the reason we love them.

boys fear girls who are mean and rough. girls fear boys who are weak and cruel.

those are the negative aspects of each. the reason we hate them.

adults forget why we wanted and feared those things. it seems important to remember.

we encapsulate both mother and father within each of us. the battles on the outside are the battles on the inside. when we stop fighting, they become friends.

our strengths are the same as our weaknesses. it all depends on how we use our own ingredients.

[tenebraetorian]

goddess, i stand before you i am created in your image i am woman you have blessed me

you give to me pain and mold into me fury you give to me love and mold into me compassion you give to me trials and mold into me complexity you give to me mystery and mold into me curiosity

your gifts are hard, my goddess their weight is difficult to carry i know they have great value as they have come at great price

on this day of all thanks i give mine to you for the gifts that you've given i send my blessing to you

[tenebraetorian]

i can’t and don’t expect people who haven’t had their life threatened to understand what i’m going through. i wish i knew more people who had and fought their way through to the other side. those are the stories i need. i don’t know how to gain access to those stories other than to share my own.

[tenebraetorian]

life is safer if people are afraid of you. we’re not supposed to say things like that. we’re supposed to be kind and nice. we’re supposed to be easy to take from, and not question those who want to take. fuck that. i’m not going to roll over and make it easy for you. i will fight you every step of the way. 

it’s fucking survival.

[tenebraetorian]

i wish i had pretty things to say. i wish i didn’t hurt. i’m sorry 

[tenebraetorian]

i want to create beauty from pain, like you have. i see your hurt in the lines of the page and the expression on your face. i wish i could show you how precious that hurt makes you. how special and different and you. how you reach out and touch other people by sharing the things that have hurt you. you’ve transformed pain into love through expression. i want to learn to do the same.

[tenebraetorian]

i’m trying to forgive the faces in my fog so i can live there in peace. ghosts are memories that haunt us.

[tenebraetorian]

fuck you. i win. i hope you're happy. i really fucking do. i hope you're a better father than my fear says you are. i hope your wife gives you more joy than you can handle. i hope you return that joy fiercely. i hope that joy rains down all over your fucking kids. i hope they learn from you. i hope they learn to love. i hope that you have. that's the curse i send you. you have no more power over me.

[tenebraetorian]

i couldn’t win. that’s the way the game was designed. i was punished for making sound, i was punished for not making sound. there was no way out.

[tenebraetorian]

i do remember screaming. when i was younger, he’d lie on me so i couldn’t breathe and he’d laugh and laugh and i’d scream until i couldn’t and things would go black