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texshire-books · 7 months

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The Stanger by Anietta Strong

A week later. Mid-afternoon on what was an indifferent day. I decided to walk the shoreline. I liked to do this. No two trips were ever the same and today was no different. I normally looked down searching for treasure. I never found anything of any value but taking material values aside there was always something of interest. Things which had washed off shipping and floated to the shore from God knows where. I found a beer keg. I rolled it home and levered open the top. I had no idea who’s make of beer it was, but it tasted great for days until it went off. Now I use it for vinegar! I found a pair of women’s rather risqué panties! That set my mind thinking, who’s were they, how did they get to be floating in the sea and lying on the shoreline. I kept them, I washed them. I even wear them now! They don’t cover much but they were never designed to do that or worn for warmth.

One day as I walked, I looked up along the beach. I saw what looked like a figure sitting down. I moved slowly closer – observing. I realised it was a young woman. She was seated, knees up, her arms clamped around her legs. Her head was down. I knew that stance, the same empty stare I imagined too. Here was a woman deep in thought, someone seeking an answer which wasn’t immediately available.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked the young woman who looked at me after Misty had bounded up and disturbed her train of thought. She’d been crying. She just nodded and continued her long stare.

‘I’ve been where you are.’ I responded boldly, knowing that statement was impossible because everyone had their own reasons for where this woman had ended up.

‘I doubt it.’ She replied.

‘We could compare notes, I don’t live far away, I’ve got unopened bottles of wine. I hate drinking alone.’ I paused; I didn’t want to pressure her. ‘I’m heading back anyway, you’re welcome to join me, if not it was nice meeting you.’ The ending sounded a bit naff; I knew fuck all about her. Anyway, it worked because I’d only gone a hundred metres or so and I looked back; she was following. Strangely enough Misty was walking next to her, maybe ensuring she arrived.

‘You live here?’ She asked incredulously.

‘Why not, the rent is fucking cheap!’ I replied bluntly with a smile.

‘But it’s in the middle of nowhere?’ She still didn’t seem convinced.

‘An even better reason don’t you think. You found me, didn’t you? What’s your excuse?’ Our replies were clipped and inviting hostility.

‘You found me remember. I was sat minding my own business.’ Oh my god I loved the mouth on her!

‘Nobody travels along here without a fishing rod unless they are seeking to escape from something. That’s why I’m here. You could tell me what brought you here? Let me fetch the bottle and some glasses, take a pew, sorry it’s only a chunk of log, but my furnishings are limited.’ I made to go inside.

‘Where do you pee?’ She asked.

‘Well, Misty here just squats where it takes her, you can too if you wish but I do have a loo! Fuck all else but you’re welcome to use it.’ The young woman followed me in, and I pointed to a door. ‘There’s no lock on the door but I’m not into watching people pee, you’re quite safe.’ She smiled and disappeared.

‘God, I’d love to live here.’ The woman spoke after a period of silence where we both looked out at sea.

‘I hope you’re not going to say I’m lucky.’ I replied.

‘Well, I’ve never had much luck, so no, that might seem a bit judgmental.’ I nodded.

‘Me either. I long ago stopped believing in luck. I was just fortunate that the day I spotted this magnificent dwelling I had decided to walk along this stretch of beach. Had this not been here I doubt I’d still be here either.’ She laughed.

‘Isn’t that a bit obvious?’ She asked.

‘I mean still living and breathing. I’d pretty much decided there was little left for me to live for. I think I would have settled down by the shore, just like you were and wait for the exposure to the chill wind to cause me to shut down. Nobody comes here. I’d never have been found, okay I would have eventually, but not in time.’ I think I shocked her.

‘So, you really have been where I was.’ I just nodded slowly and sipped my wine. ‘I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I still don’t.’ She reacted.

‘You can stay here until you work out what you want. You’ll have to share a bed with me and a dog that farts!’ I replied.

‘I fart too!’ She replied.

‘So do I.’ We both burst out laughing.

‘You going to tell me why you were sitting looking like your world had ended. Are things that bad?’ I asked as we sat eating a snack later.

‘We all have a past.’

‘We can choose to have a future too if we desire it badly enough.’ I reacted.

‘I guess I’m at that point right now, I still haven’t decided. What made you decide?’ She was a struggle, a closed tap, not a single drop leaking.

‘Do you always deflect, answer a question with a question?’ I asked.

‘Depends on the question.’

‘I bet there is a man behind where you are now?’

‘Isn’t there always, I bet men have caused you problems too.’ Another question of sorts.

‘Men destroyed my career then I got raped.’ I concentrated my woes into a short, simple reply. I saw fear on her face. Suddenly, I wish I knew her name. When she didn’t respond I continued. ‘I call myself Storm. We had one of those a few days ago. I thought it wouldn’t end. I was pretty much trapped in here. I decided to do a reset on my life, not identify traditionally. I had a name, a normal past. I turned my back on that. I decided to be whoever and whatever I chose. It’s important for you to know this, should you choose to stay.’ I felt that statement might be hard to deflect or reply with another. I was wrong.

‘Would you like me to?’ I shrugged. I caught the habit.

‘Would you like to?’ I watched her reaction. She looked down and sadness dripped off her very being.

‘Yes, I’d like that very much. I feel welcomed. I know I’m hard work as a conversationalist, but I’ve learned the hard way the need to be wary.’ She replied softly.

‘This shack was in a right state when I arrived. The front door was hanging by one hinge. It seems some old man lived here but he died. He was found half decomposed just outside. I took it on. I think it’s a dwelling which attracts victims. I arrived, then days later Misty walked in, literally out of the mist. Maybe that’s how the old guy arrived too. Perhaps he built it, obviously someone did, I have no idea why. There are the remains of others littered around. Most just wooden skeletal remains. Why they were built is as much a mystery as this one is?’ The woman digested my words then answered in a way I could take or leave as a question.

‘I guess I’m its latest victim then.’ I shrugged.

‘You could be. The big question is whether you choose to remain one. Do you?’ I looked into her green eyes, beautiful eyes which actually sent shivers down my spine.

‘I was a victim, Storm. I don’t feel like I’m one here.’ I smiled. I welcomed that response. I felt the barrier she had put up now had a brick or two removed.

‘Can I call you something, it doesn’t have to be the name you used in a different life.’ She shrugged now, then made a suggestion.

‘Call me Vicky. It derives from victim. I was a victim until Misty stuck her cold nose on my face, then you appeared. Do you mind?’ A strange question.

‘Mind? Oh goodness no. All our names here derive from something linked to an event. A fog blowing in from the sea, a howling wind in my case. Your name results from what I suspect were a long train of events, most likely all unpleasant. Just so long as it doesn’t remind you of any. Moving forward means not looking back. Feel free to change it at any time if your past starts to catch up.’ We shook hands on that. Clasping her hand was a strange experience. Hers was tiny, her fingers long. They were smooth and not used to hard work. Mine were hard and gnarled, but they hadn’t always been so. I held it and neither felt any inclination to let go and release our physical contact. ‘Are you hungry?’ I asked which broke the spell and our hands parted. Our eye contact remained while she considered her reply.

‘What is there to eat? I don’t see a fridge or a freezer, how do you decide?’ I hoped my reply wouldn’t turn her off and she’d be on her way. I’d got used to her company and I didn’t want that to end.

‘Do you like fish?’ I asked. If she said no, I was fucked.

‘I’ve eaten fish, yes. Mainly a takeout from the local chippy. Otherwise, not often, it’s so expensive.’ That reply gave me hope.

‘There is no chippy around here and the fish is free. All you have to do is catch it.’ Her eyes opened like saucers.

‘Really, I’ve never caught a fish.’ She reacted as if I’d just suggested the impossible.

‘Well, we better go and get dinner then, the great thing down here is you don’t have to queue at the checkout.’ We both got up, I brought a sharp knife from a drawer, and we headed to the shoreline.

‘Wow, that was good, the bones take some getting used to but that is a small price to pay for something that good.’ Vicky complimented me an hour later. The trot line I’d put out earlier had produced a treasure trove of mackerel which I gutted at the shoreline, washing them too in the oncoming tide.

‘The diet might become a bit monotonous. I haven’t mastered too many baking skills, do you cook?’ I asked Vicky.

‘I do actually, I came to believe that was all I was good at.’ That sounded a blessing, I imagined hot fresh bread, baked in the Aga.

‘Was that really your opinion or one you eventually found yourself forced to conclude?’ I suspected I knew the answer already.

‘You can only be told you’re fucking useless so many times before you become forced to believe that you are.’ I got my answer, I didn’t push to found out who had decided that. I assumed the truth lay more with the person who doubtless made that comment often. The corrosive words dripping poison drop by drop until the person hearing the words had to concede they were true. We cleared up and sat close together on the only comfortable seating available.

‘You sure this will be enough for you?’ I asked. I had felt my lifestyle had become austere; dare I say extreme. I didn’t wish to force this on my guest.

‘You mean no telly to watch Eastenders?’ Her reply delivered with a smile.

‘I was more a Corrie fan to be honest.’ I replied in similar vein. ‘Do you have a phone, social media, all that. Won’t you miss it?’ I asked.

‘Did you?’ The inevitable question disguised as a reply.

‘I was never a great fan. Like email, it’s far too easy to become an armchair warrior. Saying things about people you’d never say if they stood facing you.’

‘Tell me about it, that reason alone makes life here so appealing. I heard of people sitting as close as we are texting each other. People will soon forget what their tongues are for!’ Vikki replied.

‘Unless you’re a man, they usually know what theirs is for.’ That caused a smile of sorts.

‘You sure you don’t mind me sleeping with you?’ The subject was abruptly changed. This seemed to happen every time the word man was uttered.

‘Does it worry you, sleeping with a same sex person?’

‘Good god no. The clothes I’m wearing is all I own now. I can’t even thing of returning to pack my things, besides, I expect they are strewn down the road. He’d have cleared any trace of me by now.’ For the first time she’d opened up. She had been living with a man but in totally different circumstances to me. I owned the house I live in; I suspect she didn’t.

‘I did bring my stuff. Or at least I went back for mine. We have a similar build, feel free to rummage through my knicker drawer.’ She still looked worried.

‘I need a bath, I rather stink!’ I shrugged.

‘I’m a bit rank myself. I wasn’t planning on oral sex tonight if that worried you.’ I saw shock appear on her face, then disappear in an instant when she responded.

‘Thank God, we can leave it until tomorrow then?’ I wasn’t sure if she was being serious. What if she meant it?

‘Sorry, I was being frivolous.’ I decided to shock her.

‘I wasn’t, I meant what I said.’ I delivered that with a broad smile. ‘We could continue this conversation in bed.’ I made the suggestion because I suspected facing this part of the evening was bothering her.

‘I don’t want you going to bed early just to please me?’

‘I’m not. Misty and I often go to bed early. Your problem will be to claim enough space on your side of the bed. She will sleep down the middle of the bed if you get in before her, otherwise you’ll have to cosy up with me.’ I saw a nervous look appear.

‘I don’t wear anything in bed.’ She delivered that as if she had an infectious disease.

‘Neither do I, but I won’t tell anyone unless you do?’

‘I’m a shy girl Storm.’ I now saw why she was nervous.

‘We can get round that. You get in bed first then once you’ve chosen your spot, I’ll let Misty in. Once you’re settled you close your eyes while I hop in?’ She looked at me in amazement.

‘You make it sound so clinical?’ I shrugged.

‘Well, it’s you bothered about me seeing your scrawny arse!’ She pouted.

‘It’s not scrawny. I’ll have you know my bum has received compliments.’

‘For Christ's sake take the fucking kettle into the washroom which is off the bedroom through that door. Wash your bits and get into bed. I’ll clear up and let Misty out for a final pee.’ Vicky got up. I wasn’t sure what she was used to, but she’d have to learn fast.

‘Shut your eyes, you’ve been warned.’ I walked into the bedroom after my own wash was completed. To my surprise Vicky was sat up in bed, her breasts on display. I shrugged and walked to my side of the bed. Misty provided separation. ‘I thought you were shy, what are those.’ I looked closer now and saw bruising I hadn’t noticed earlier. I realised she wasn’t shy at all. She was very likely ashamed. She noticed I’d seen the bruising and I suspected there was a lot more. I slid into bed and sat up too. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air like a bad smell.

‘I hoped you wouldn’t see the marks.’ She spoke softly, submissively.

‘You can show me the rest, I’m not shocked or surprised, just resigned.’

‘What do you mean?’ She asked me.

‘It’s what I’ve come to expect in a male dominated world.’

‘You really don’t like men, do you?’ It seemed a rather strange question to ask as she peeled the bedcovers back to reveal extensive bruising which extended down her whole body to her legs. I encouraged Misty to get off. I needed to see this.

‘I don’t think either of us have benefited from our association with men, do you?’ I suggested.

‘They are not all like the animal who did this to me.’ Vicky replied. She knelt with her back to me and the full extent of a sustained beating over an extended period was on display.

‘The question is, how can you tell? Okay, the waste of space I lived with appeared to be non-violent, but when I left my job and the gravy train he was on hit the buffers, he raped me. So, when did you realise?’

‘Pretty much from the off if I’m honest. At first, I convinced myself it was my fault, then I realised it wasn’t, but I remained in denial. He was like them all, they say they are sorry, it won’t happen again, but it did. Then one day I just left, decided to have a day out. I caught a train without any planned destination. I then caught a bus. I couldn’t return, I had no money. I found myself walking along this beach, I sat down. You know the rest.’ I reached out and ran my hands over the dark bruising, I saw her shudder as my hand made contact with her skin. ‘That’s nice, I can’t remember when I was touched rather than slapped or punched.’ I realised what I was about to do carried risks of being misconstrued. I decided to chance it. I pulled her close and lay down next to her. I had my arm around her. She tensed at first, possibly questioning my motives, but she relaxed when she realised, I was just offering her basic human contact. We were both naked and our warm skins blended, I knew the end result of feeling wanted by another human being would have been the same had we been fully clothed. It was just intimacy without a sexual connotation. She started to cry, and I pulled her even tighter. I dragged the covers over and Misty took that as meaning she could rejoin us again. She lay next to Vicky and the sandwich was complete.

I woke several times in the night. Vikki was holding onto me and snuggled against me tight like a frightened child. The room was in total darkness, but I could still see her sleeping face in the gloom. She looked happy and relaxed, and my shoulder felt wet where I suspect she had dribbled. I’d never been this close to a woman. I had wondered how I would feel in such an event. I assumed I would reject such closeness as an unwanted sexual advance but her being this close didn’t feel like that at all. Besides, I hadn’t I pulled HER in close? I had seen the physical abuse showing on most parts of her body previously covered by her clothes. I’d felt a mixture of rage and compassion, anger towards the beast who had punched and probably kicked her, but also the need to comfort a young woman who had lost her way. Nobody had beaten me like this. Okay I had been raped but I didn’t put up a fight, I had struggled and said no, but he ignored me and still had his way. In one sense it had been a blessing because I knew this would be the last time and he’d then be out of my life. I had been planning to part company anyway, but this had given me the perfect excuse to do it now rather than procrastinate. Maybe it was my concern he’d see his action as a rite of passage and that he’d now feel he owned my body when I had never doubted for a minute I did.

I was woken another time by movement. Her movement. She was crawling across me, her sweating skin now sliding over mine.

‘You, okay?’ I whispered in the darkness.

‘I need a pee; I can’t see a thing.’ She replied.

‘Hang on, I’ve got a torch.’ I leaned over and found the small flashlight I’d kept for this very purpose. She switched it on, and my eyes were blinded by its brightness. I watched her stand and move away towards the door. I noticed then her beautiful silhouette, a perfect shadow cast on the wall, her small tight bottom and pert breasts which turned upwards slightly. I could see what a man could feel arousing towards her; I was quite surprised to feel some attraction myself. I smiled and put it aside in my thoughts, something else I imagined? I’d curled up and got back to sleep, then I felt her body against mine once more, she was returning. ‘Here, I’ll slide over, come where I’ve been sleeping it’s warm, you’re freezing.’ I slid back, in turn pushing Misty who typically had taken advantage of vacant space and tried to stretch out, as dogs did on a bed. I now had Vikki facing me, looking at me, her breath minty fresh.

‘I borrowed your toothbrush; I hope you don’t mind.’ I realised there were lots of personal items she would need including a toothbrush. That announcement felt so intimate. Of course, I didn’t mind, I just hoped my own breath wasn’t going to put her off.

‘No, feel free. When a girl turns up with as little as you did, you’re bound to need everyday things. I’ve got other things a girl needs should it be that time.’ I left her to work that out which she obviously did by her next comment.

‘No, it’s fine. I’ve just finished. That was what the row was about, he wanted sex but said I was disgusting. He kicked me out of bed, told me to get out of his sight. I think this distance is far enough, don’t you?’ I laughed and kissed the tip of her nose. I realised immediately what I had done.

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.’ I reacted quickly hoping she’d understand.

‘It’s fine. I didn’t mind. You express your kindness in a lovely way. I like that.’

‘I know but I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea.’ I replied, still feeling the necessity to mitigate my action.

‘What idea is that Storm, that I’d think you were coming onto me?’

‘Something like that.’

‘I’ve wanted to kiss you several times. To thank you for taking in this waif from the storm. I’m quite tactile, I often kiss girls. Women are like that aren’t they? It doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian.’ I was breathless after that reply and to reinforce her answer she kissed me gently on my lips. ‘Thank you, I wanted minty breath when I did that. See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?’ I realised now using my toothbrush had a motive.

We settled back to sleep, or at least she did. I lay awake looking at her. I tried to imagine her age. I had assumed early twenties, but I suspected she was possibly younger. I didn’t know her real name, but I’d buried mine, so it didn’t bother me. I wanted her to stay, I felt a growing connection and I sensed she liked me. My fear was I wouldn’t be enough for her, that the primitive lifestyle I had chosen and embraced would slowly lose its novelty. I decided I’d invest in a small wind powered generator. There was plenty blowing in from the sea. At least she wouldn’t have to pee by torchlight. I hoped I could find an electrician to carry out the work, I wouldn’t know where to start. I knew I was a worrier. Spending too much time worrying about things which might never happen. I thought about those kisses earlier. Mine a simple peck, more mischievous than with any intent. Hers felt more intentional and was more than a peck. Her soft lips lingered a few milliseconds too long, it was an indication of affection. I was staring at her contented face, her arms moved around involuntarily as she slept feeling my breasts, almost like she was feeling her way, exploring the unknown. At one time her hand went lower. It didn’t travel between my legs, but it brushed me low enough to wonder if she might. What if she had and I looked and found she was no longer asleep. That she was staring at me? My make your mind up moment. I wondered how I’d react. I looked back to my first ever sexual experience. I’d never imagined for a moment it wouldn’t be other than a boy. Hadn’t my brother sexually abused me? I had decided that didn’t count. So, when a boy at school kissed me, I decided that was the moment to chalk up as my first encounter. I went through each thereafter; I remembered every one. That wasn’t too difficult because they didn’t happen with regularly. The thing is I never for a single moment imagined ever kissing a girl. Yet I just did, however briefly and on an unlikely place, her nose for fuck’s sake! Another slightly troubling thought was I’d never had a satisfactory sexual relationship. I’d masturbated to a climax often, but I’d never had one while engaged in sex. There was a message there surely, but was I making far too much of this? I even wondered whether sleeping naked with Vicky was a great idea? But what if I gave her a message of rejection should I suggest wearing clothing in future. It felt like cutting off my nose to spite my face. I rather liked her soft warm skin against mine. As if by some means of telepathy, she turned over. I now felt her bum pressing against my hand. I found to my horror I was feeling its rounded contours. I moved it away as if I’d just had an electric shock. She moved herself back and fitted herself into my lap. I felt contented and tried to sleep.

A week went by. Vicky realised how different her life was now, even simple day to day matters such as going to the supermarket or local Indian run convenience store wasn’t possible here. We cycled to the nearest store, her seated on the saddle while I stood on the pedals. I decided then and there I’d get her a cycle too. Soon after finding the store for the first time, I learned the owner had adapted to the different needs of his local clientele. A man of wisdom who realised most of them were in fact like us, living effectively off grid. Obviously, nobody was quite as isolated and living basic with a capital B as we were but when he realised, I had no means of communication with the outside world, by that I really mean an internet connection and links to my Amazon account and others, even EBay, he pointed to an area set aside at the far end of the store.

I still had my bank card which paid for essentials, but I was invited to log in and use his system. Anything I ordered would arrive at the store and I’d cycle out to collect it. I let Vicky loose ordering what she needed, there was reluctance which I welcomed. She said she was no freeloader, possibly nervous after me having discussed in depth the character of the man who had raped me. We had a frank discussion over money. So, the sale of my house and visible assets had made me comfortable financially. But as I pointed out, she was a vital link missing in my life now and money was just a means of its continuation. We were together by circumstance and even if she desired to work, she couldn’t, there was nowhere to employ her although out of the blue the local shop owner solved that problem in an instant. He asked if either of us needed a job. Vicky took his arm off in an instant.

The cycle arrived within a few days, and I got used to seeing her cycle off several mornings a week. I always had a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach when she left, always looking back to see if I was still watching her distance herself until she was out of sight. I got used to the time of her return and I’d bring a drink out onto what we described as our porch and sat at a table which had two chairs. An addition which replaced an old log which still remained for our imaginary guests. During that week, while we cycled together, I noticed a house in the far distance that had a windmill turbine. We diverted and paid the owner a visit. He said a local man specialised in installing these systems. I explained where we were located. He seemed surprised we lived there now, he always felt it was uninhabitable. I assured him it most certainly wasn’t, but its features took some getting used to. As we were leaving, I noticed a box on wheels sitting neglected in the corner of his yard. It had an extended arm and was clearly designed to fit behind a cycle. He didn’t want it, so we now had the means to carry our goods back home rather than struggle on the cycle. I recalled getting the table and chairs home, a chore made over several trips which had we had this makeshift trolley could have been achieved in one.

Bathing was simple too. Natures bath awaited us twice daily at high tide. We got used to seeing each other naked. Thankfully Vicky’s bruising was fading and as long as I could prevent it, she’d never have another unwanted mark on her beautiful body. I was also more relaxed about lying in bed together. Our intimacy had increased too. We hadn’t touched each other sexually, I mean between our legs, but we did stroke each other, while we talked in bed. Vicky had commented on my interest in her bum. I often stroked it absentmindedly while she’d run a finger round my often-erect nipple. I wasn’t sure if either of us even noticed. The swim was a race from the shack to the shoreline. We’d toss our towels down as we reached its edge and kept running. The water was cold but so invigorating, we’d both swim out and look back. We often played grasping each other and wrestling, one trying to duck the other under the water. We didn’t stay long; we’d swim back and dry each other off. The man who had brought the fish often saw us; he’d returned following the storm. He would wave as we walked back quite oblivious that we both naked and frolicking up the beach to return inside.

A van appeared mid-morning the following week. I know its driver stood back and shook his head. He gave us both that “are you sure” look. I rather doubted he’d been asked to install a wind turbine on a dilapidated shack before. Certainly not one like ours. When he realised, we were dead serious he went ahead and even ran some rather untidy wiring to key locations inside. He explained its functionality and its limitations. There was a more costly battery system he could add to ensure we had power when the wind didn’t blow, but I said we’d try this first. I couldn’t recall many instances when the wind didn’t show its power so I was sure it would suffice.

Then one morning after a storm so powerful the wind turbine shut down automatically, we walked down to the beach and in the far distance a large, strange object has been washed up on the beach. As we got closer, I realised it was a huge shipping container. We walked around it’s perimeter. There were two heavy doors which were bolted and padlocked. It had a customs seal too. I looked around, somehow expecting others to have noticed it. I realised nobody came this way. Even the man who fished didn’t stray far from his Enid spot. We looked at the object intrigued about its contents. I looked closely and examined the padlock. I knew the same crowbar which had so successfully dismantled the wooden crate would deal with that so giggling like a couple of silly girls we ran back to the shack to fetch it.

We carried the crowbar between us, we joked about it being a joint conspiracy, so we had to share the burden of carrying the means to lever off the padlock. We decided to take the broken object out to sea at our next swim and drop it into deep water. Whatever was inside was the only thing of interest and we needed to be in a position to say the padlock was missing and the customs seal was broken when we found the container. Who could prove otherwise. We decided to wear gloves. Fortunately, I’d purchased some thin rubber gloves to unblock the toilet the previous week, so we donned them and between us set about levering off the lock. This proved to be tougher than I imagined. The main problem being to get enough of the end under the padlock hasp and staple. In the end we hooked part of the splayed split end in between and with both of us hanging on to the crowbar end and combining our weight, there was a bang as the padlock broke in two and both of us landed in a heap on the sand. We lay there together for a minute, catching our breath and laughing. We’d become so natural together. It felt each couldn’t bear the thought of each other ever being parted or not in view.

‘We better get this thing open.’ I slapped Vicky’s leg.

‘Come on then!’ She rose to her feet. We moved closer and using the crowbar with total ease I snapped the seal. We both looked at each other and turned our attention towards a lever handle. I shrugged grabbed the handle and pulled it back. The lever drew locking bolts down which freed the heavy metal door. We both grabbed the handle now and pulled. Immediately we were overwhelmed by a putrid stench which caused us both to stop and move away. Vicky retched and I went forward to check she was okay. I knew the smell of death and decay; the only question was what we’d find if we opened the door enough to look inside. Vicky was reluctant to go back so I suggested she keep away while I swung the door open. I’d barely moved it before it opened itself further under its own momentum. I ran, wondering what was coming after me. Vicky screamed and started to run, I looked at her fleeing back towards the shack, I stopped and looked back. The door had stopped moving and the reason for its movement was clear to see. I stood, my mouth open with shock. Lying in a heap were perhaps a dozen bodies, I suspected behind the other door which had its own securing bolts were perhaps the same number again, but I certainly wasn’t prepared to find out. I quickly realised what had happened, then with Vicky having returned and gripping my arm so hard it hurt, I blurted out my suspicions.

‘They must be illegal migrants; the container must have been washed overboard. God knows how long it’s been floating like a cork, but clearly, they ran out of air, they have huddled near the door hoping to find the merest draught, a vain fight for survival. It seems time ran out!’

‘What are we going to do?’ Vicky asked.

‘We can’t leave it; we have to report it.’

‘Won’t that rebound on us?’ Vicky asked.

‘I doubt it. We just opened it didn’t we?’

‘You have the padlock?’ I raised my hand and showed her the lock.

‘We need to get rid of that!’ Vicky sounded nervous.

‘Fancy a swim?’

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texshire-books · 7 months

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Dominatrix by Sadie Stern

It was gone nine when we finished eating. We cleared up together. I instructed Adam on loading the dishwasher. I wasn’t sure what sort of regime he was used to, but he was going to share the chores living here. Conversation was muted. Surprisingly, I was nervous about the evening. I was about to allow a man to touch me intimately for the first time. As I’d described to Adam, I had fucked plenty, but their hands had been secured. I had sat on a few faces too, so I’d had stimulation demanded from an active searching tongue. I’d climaxed when its tip had found my clitoris and I managed to keep in position until the milk had boiled over. I’d never allowed a man to cum inside me. I would slip on a condom or when I’d gone bareback, I had withdrawn in time and watched the man finish and be well clear of his splashes. I realised how sordid this had become. Being devoid of emotional feelings depressed me but the actions of my father had damaged me irreparably. I looked at an innocent boy and hoped for the unlikely. It was a huge ask.

I realised my needs, which could easily be satisfied by masturbation, were secondary to his. I had a responsibility to care for him. To ensure what we did together soon, was an act of beauty. He’d never seen a woman naked, and I knew in all modesty my body was one of perfection. I wanted him to take his time and find me in his own way. I decided to remain in a submissive state and allow him free access to whatever he wanted to do, or wherever he wished to go. Would he enter me? I decided I’d let him choose, much as I wanted that beautiful cock inside me. Where made no difference. I liked anal penetration too. Some men had been surprised when I took them up my arse instead of where they had expected. Whatever happened, even if it ended in failure, I wanted to ensure it didn’t end up humiliating Adam. I wanted him to know there would be a next time. It seemed he’d never climaxed or if he had, he hadn’t realised. It seemed unlikely a boy of eighteen wouldn’t have experienced this event by now but unlikely or not, this was his story, and I had no reason to doubt him.

I had wondered how far to take foreplay. My plan was to go from the kitchen to the lounge and to get undressed. Re introduce his nakedness to me, to then invite him to undress me item by item. I brought the wine we’d been drinking with us, together with coffee. I told him to get undressed which he did as nervously as before.

‘Leave your pants on, I love removing those to free your lovely cock.’ I demanded; he smiled.

‘Yes ma’am.’ He replied as usual. I didn’t want “usual” tonight, I wanted the unusual. I sensed beside his innocence a potential dark side to his nature. He’d indicated he wanted to be present during a session I had arranged for late morning the following day. He said he’d take sketches of me in action. That sort of “unusual” had a great appeal to me.

‘We started anew tonight, Adam. You will call me Carrie from now on, is that okay with you?’

‘I’d like that, yes.’ For the first time, Adam had replied without the statutory “mistress” accompanying it. Adam stripped. Each item carefully folded. He wore less than earlier, so it didn’t take as long to get him to where I wanted him, standing in front in his underpants displaying a tantalising erection.

‘You must have very naughty thoughts going through that mind of yours young man. Do you know what happens to naughty boys?’ My reprimand was lighthearted. He looked down submissively before answering.

‘I suspect you punish them?’

‘Correct, they end up across my knee and I smack their bare bottom. I can see you ending up like that!’ I replied strictly.

‘I’m sorry Carrie, but you are a very beautiful woman, and it gets me excited.’ I liked that answer.

‘But you’ve only seen me fully clothed, what will you be like when you saw me naked?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘In that case we’d better find out. Strip me!’ I saw shock appear.

‘You want me to undress you?’ He asked, leaving me aghast.

‘Don’t you want to?’

‘Yes Carrie, but….?’ He stammered. I sensed my request had overwhelmed him.

‘Am I taking this too fast for you?’

‘No, not at all, I think you are being very patient, after all, how many men of my age have never laid a finger on a woman or even seen a woman’s body. I just don’t know where to even start.’ I was overwhelmed. I pulled his pants down and held out my arms invitingly.

‘Let’s give you a cuddle, there is no rush. Let’s talk about this.’ He stepped out of his pants and went to move forward but his wet dripping penis was too tempting to resist. I took hold of it and sucked it, making sure my tongue encircled its tip. He shivered and just for an instant I thought he’d climaxed, and my mouth would fill with his seed. He didn’t, so I disgorged him and pulled him onto my lap. ‘Let’s be clear about one thing Adam, it’s because of your innocence that you are here. My own father sexually abused me from early childhood, this only ceased after he died when I was fourteen. That is just four years younger than you are now. He’d beat me too. I’m thirty-eight years of age now and I am still scarred by those events. Then, when I was your age, my mother took an overdose and died. I’ve had nobody to love or who loved me my entire life. My whole life is defined by my dislike of men. They queue up for me to physically abuse them which I do with some relish. I need someone to love and cherish, I chose you because you are a blank canvas to use a term which you above all will understand. You are unsullied. You’ve never been tarnished by contact with men who have the wrong values toward women. We have a chance, despite my age and what might appear to be a corrupt lifestyle, to start afresh. Does that make sense?’ I asked when I sensed there was little more to say.

‘Yes, Carrie it does. When we first met, I wasn’t sure what to expect. We didn’t start well; I was late, and you were pretty annoyed. I got the impression you’d be controlling and strict and I would be used and abused. Your description of yourself and what you did, came under the description of a dominatrix. When I saw that room upstairs, I imagined myself strapped down ready to be mercilessly beaten like others have in the past and someone will no doubt tomorrow. I didn’t expect to see the side of you that is now on display.’ I wasn’t sure how he’d left things.

‘You seem disappointed?’

‘Oh no, far from it. I’m delighted but I’m not totally sure what you expect from me? Who you expect me to be?’ I answered with a question.

‘Now you’ve seen the real me and not the sadist I wish to escape from, what are you fearful of?’

‘I’m not a baby, I’m trying to become a man. I fear you will install a cot next to your bed and I’d be put in a diaper and changed regularly. That is be fed from a bottle and cuddled like I am now. That isn’t me, Carrie.’ I was shocked to the core and my core was wet, needy, and expectant. I gently grasped his beautiful penis.

‘You are too big a boy to put in a diaper Adam, it would be sticking out of its waistband or strapped to your leg. Joking aside, you are a man, a beautiful man and I just need to train you in the art of lovemaking. We can both learn together. A baby is the last thing I need, almost as much as I don’t need a man who feels I should be grateful to be fucked by him.’

‘I need a woman who can teach me how to please her. Nothing will please me more to see you after we’ve made love, knowing I have been the cause of her pleasure.’ I let go of his cock and patted his thigh.

‘Let’s go upstairs, you can strip me and then I can introduce you to my body. I’ll give you the full tour of my anatomy. How does that sound?’ He didn’t answer but followed me after I’d risen from my seated position and headed back upstairs.

In the bedroom I stood before him. I could see Adam was nervous. He seemed unsure how best to proceed. I was braless under a thin cotton blouse which was buttoned down the front. Even he could see the solution to its removal. I noticed his hands shook as he started with the top button, then followed it down one by one until it lay open at the neck. I wore a short denim skirt which I realised looked cheap. I wanted to look a whore and I felt I’d succeeded although I suspected Adam would have none of that. He undid the belt to my skirt which just dropped to my ankles as soon the belt slipped open from its buckle. Once free, my blouse opened fully to his view, I knew his eyes were devouring me, but I didn’t mind. In fact, I welcomed it. He was still erect so my breasts on display hadn’t put him off.

‘You’re so beautiful.’ He whispered to me as he eased my blouse off my shoulders, and I found myself stripped to the waist.

‘Thank you you are a sensitive boy; I’ve never felt this before.’ I meant that. No man had ever made me feel desired except to fuck and then discard. This is why I’d never given any one of them the chance to lay a finger on my body. I had expected him to seek my nipple, but instead, possibly because of his artistic nature, he went for its curves. His fingers underneath, almost testing its weight. He lifted my breast just a little then gently let it settle back into place. He was close and I could feel his erection pressed against my panties I yearned to have removed. He now touched a nipple which made me shiver. He noticed.

‘Sorry, did I hurt you?’ I shook my head.

‘No Adam it was a shiver of pleasure, I quite like to squeeze my nipples, to hurt them just a little. Nobody has ever done that to me.’

‘I don’t like to think of hurting you, are you sure?’ He asked. Something else I liked. He sought my consent which meant a lot.

‘Yes, pinch them both. Look into my eyes while you do it. Squeeze harder until my eyes tell you to stop.’

‘Are you sure?’ He still asked.

‘Yes, I’m sure.’ Fingers and thumbs from both hands took a nipple each and started to squeeze, he looked into my soul as the pressure increased along with the pain. He stopped.

‘More, harder, hurt me!’ I found myself begging. He complied and eventually I whimpered in pain and pulled back. He pursued me. I could see he liked inflicting pain too. I closed my eyes; my soul had closed its window and curtains were drawn.

‘You enjoyed that didn’t you?’ He asked.

‘More importantly you did too.’ I responded.

‘I’m ashamed to say I did Carrie.’

‘Don’t be, I may need you to develop that as we progress.’ I didn’t pursue it and neither did he. ‘I hope you don’t mind small breasts. They were what I was given and as I’ve never had children they never grew naturally as I expect they would otherwise.’ He smiled then leaned in and sucked my red-looking nipples in turn, one by one, pulling back each time and stretching my breasts until the nipple popped out of his mouth and set back into place. ‘You have unfinished business further down, there is much for you to see, to touch and explore. That which makes us equal and that which separates us.’ I whispered kissing his soft lips now.

‘I love this gentle side of you Carrie, am I really going to see your cruel and sadistic side tomorrow?’

‘If you wish. You wait in your studio to be, and I will prepare him. He likes severe caning. Around 100 strokes normally. He bleeds after fifty, so it gets a bit gory towards the end. He screams so be prepared.’

‘Will he know I’m in the room?’ I shook my head.

‘No, most of my clients require absolute discretion. He will be bound and blindfolded. I will fetch you. Just bring your sketch pad but remain silent. Once completed you must leave and he’ll be none the wiser. I imagine you’ll get all you require that way. I can’t allow photography I’m afraid.

‘No, that will be sufficient.’ I now brought proceedings back to the present.

‘Take my knickers off now please and then run us a bath. The next stage of your education is to be very personal, very intimate and we want everything pristine don’t we.’ He smiled.

‘You know best Carrie.’

‘That on this occasion and for most of the near future, that is very true.’

‘I’ve never shared a bath since I was a little boy. Even then it was with my brother. Obviously, I wasn’t supposed to see our respective anatomies in case I became corrupted.’ Adam spoke first, as we sat together facing each other in my spacious bath. One, until now I’d never shared with anyone before.

‘Well, you’re certainly being corrupted now young man, I hope you shut your eyes when I lifted my leg to climb in?’

‘I did actually, I thought it would be rude to look.’ I looked back in disbelief; I couldn’t believe the innocence of the person in was sharing with.

‘You’re almost too sweet to be credible, are you sure you didn’t peep, now’s the time to come clean.’

‘Truly I didn’t look.’ He replied.

‘Okay, in that case let’s keep what lies between my legs a secret until I allow you to see it. Is that a deal?’ He nodded.

‘How do you intend allowing me to see what you have hidden from view?’ He asked next.

‘I have a plan, one which will expose everything.’ I decided to wash him first then banish him to our bed where he would wait for me to arrive. I grasped his cock and soaped it liberally, I felt under water for his balls and further still and went through a meaningless attempt at washing. Then he was done. ‘Out you get, dry yourself and then go back to bed. When I arrive, I want you lying on your back in the centre of the bed, arms outstretched do you understand. I’ll warn you of my arrival so I will need those eyes tightly shut.’ He nodded.

‘Yes Carrie.’ He got up and lifted a slender leg. I looked up and saw him from below. His cock remained erect, I even wondered if this was a permanent feature and if so, what a delicious prospect that was. A phallic object ready full time for action. Below hung his hairless balls sack which swung left and right as he clambered out.

‘I won’t keep you I promise.’ I watched while he dried himself before leaving and heading to where all was to be revealed.

‘No peeping otherwise you’ll find yourself down the corridor. You won’t want that will you!’ I announced my arrival as I started to open the bedroom door.

‘I’m ready Carrie, I’m not looking.’ Adam replied. I entered naked and looked over to the bed where he lay centrally. He’d moved two pillows to the middle on the bed and lay, naked also with his arms outstretched and legs apart in a crucifixion position. The most noticeable feature was his erect cock which as always stood proudly to attention. I so wanted that inside me.

‘Stay quite still, do not open your eyes no matter how tempted you might be to do so. I will tell you when to open them.’ I gave him my instructions.

‘I won’t I promise.’ He replied softly. I reached the bed and chambered onto it, moving towards him on hands and knees. He looked happy and contented, a half-smile which almost felt like a permanent feature now. I leaned across his prone body without us making contact, then turning and opening my legs wide I straddled him, my knees and inner thighs finally touching his warm skin. I now reversed sticking my bottom up high, continuing until I was close enough to his nose that he’d pick up my scent. In front stood his cock which I grasped with both hands; my mouth close enough to engorge him if I so wished. Instead, I turned my head to see where my rear end was parked in relation to his face. I smiled when I realised how close it was and with my open legs stretched to the full, just what sort of view he’d have when I instructed him to open his eyes.

‘Well, Adam I’ve got what I want, I think it’s time you saw where it’s destined to fit. I’ll let you choose which? Are you ready?’ I asked.

‘Am I going to like this?’ He asked. I could feel his hot breath on my gaping cunt.

‘That depends if you are gay Adam, although be both share some common anatomy.’

‘I’m not Carrie, I know that much.’ He replied quickly.

Well, in that case you’d better open your eyes and feast them on what is straight ahead.’ I gave him a final instruction. Now everything else was entirely down to an eighteen-year-old boy who was about to see something for the very first time.

‘Oh my god, is that what it looks like.’ His words came out in a rush.

‘Well?’ I just asked a single word as a reply.

‘It’s different.’ He actually laughed.

‘I’m surprised you noticed, I realise there is a big part missing, but the good news is I found it on this end of you!’ I grabbed his cock and kissed its wet tip.

‘Can I touch it?’

‘IT? What do you mean it! That Adam is my vagina. IT sounds far too impersonal. Yes, you can touch me.’ I sensed his arms moving and suddenly I felt I finger touch an opening I didn’t expect to be his first choice.

‘At least your bum hole looks like mine.’

‘Bum hole? One thing you’ll have to learn about me Adam is I’m very formal. I’m especially strict on anatomical issues. You have heard me describe my vagina, well, that isn’t my bum hole it is my anus. That is what it’s called. Do you understand!’ His hands now rested on my stretched cheeks.

‘At least we both have a similar looking anus, Carrie.’ He corrected himself.

‘I cannot see yours so I cannot compare but I imagine they both look very similar so yes, I’d agree with you.’ I paused briefly.

‘You’re hairless?’

‘Yes, I am shorn of hair, I like to keep myself looking smooth. It gives inquisitive boys like you the opportunity to see me without having to part the undergrowth.’ He gently pulled my lips apart and asked yet another question.

‘You said I could choose; I can see the obvious point of entry but surely you don’t mean….’ He didn’t finish, I knew immediately where else he meant.

‘Unfortunately, yes.’ I replied.

‘Have you?’

‘Been entered there?’ Questions flew in quick order.

‘Yes.’

‘I said unfortunately for a reason. I was just ten years of age; my father raped me.’ There was a period of silence. It took time for that revelation to sink in.

‘Can we stop this?’ He patted my bottom as he spoke.

‘Yes, of course.’ I quickly crawled off and moving some pillows, lay beside him. ‘Have I offended you?’ I asked.

‘Not at all, but after what you told me I didn’t feel the time was right. I have seen you now, I know how we differ yet remain the same. I just couldn’t continue when you told me that. Especially as it was your father who did it too.’ I nodded my understanding.

‘I’ve never been able to tell anyone before, I told you because you are such a sensitive person, I knew you’d be shocked but understanding too. Those events and there were many, continued until he died suddenly. A message from God I like to think. I wondered at times if there could be a god, being raped again and and again. Forsaken, passed over and my prayers ignored. He took my virginity too. So, you can see my dislike of men has deep roots and it all resulted from his actions. He’d use a thick strap to beat me too. I often had to skip games or PE, because I was so badly marked or still bleeding from being raped. You must look at me now, a body I have honed to my perfection, and find it hard to believe I am so damaged. Those scars are invisible Adam, but equally just as real.’ I leaned in and kissed him. This time it wasn’t brief. I sensed his connection resulted from this moment and he joined me.

It’s 2am. My bedside clock glows the time. My windows, their curtains pulled back, allow a bright full moon into my room – our room. I’m looking at Adam who is asleep, I’m not surprised, he worked very hard, I made sure of that. His cock is limp, I doubt he’ll have an erection for days after the workout it got. There were so many firsts. When he pulled my wet, slippery lips apart and gazed at my opening his eyes and his fingers were the first to see that since I was nearly fourteen years of age. At least his gentle hands had touched me with my willing consent, unlike those of my beast of a father. I often thought of my mother. Knowing her daughter was being abused. She was brutalised too, so I never blamed her for not intervening, even trying to do so would have seen more violence and abuse heaped upon what took place anyway. Something magical, so special had taken place earlier. We had become known to each other. Later, at the breakfast table we could both look at each other and know that neither was a mystery to the other. There was nothing hidden. I now felt a deep contentment for the first time in my life and this had all come about having met and got to know a boy, barely a man, of tender years. We had tasted each other too. When I took his penis into my mouth, he soon decided to find me. He’d only looked before but now emboldened, he moved between my legs and let his tongue find me too. I knew we’d never stop now; it would become as natural as any kiss although perhaps not in Tesco! I now had a darker thought. At eleven the following morning Thomas would arrive to be beaten. Adam had expressed a wish to witness this event. To later convert his sketches into a painting of sadistic perversion and savagery. Thomas had a big cock, and normally I’d fuck him, but now I realised everything had changed and the less than innocent boy lying beside me was what had caused that change.

I realised all that savagery, hostility towards men, my sense of needing revenge against anyone with a penis was gone. I didn’t want that man Thomas in my home. Even though I’d rarely allowed the skin-to-skin contact of a man’s cock against my vaginal wall, having worn a condom each and every time, the symbolism of the act of penetration was still there. I could refuse Adam visual access to that moment, but he’d still know. Something I now wanted to be strictly and unequivocally his, would have been violated by a stranger who had paid me to beat him – to fuck him. I shivered when I realised what that made me. I was troubled, so much so I got up. I went to the kitchen and sat; I opened a bottle of something far stronger than Pinot Grigio. It was a neat single malt.

‘You, okay?’ Adam’s voice made me jump. I was deep in thought, and I hadn’t expected the silence to be broken.

‘Yes, I’m fine, go back to bed, I’ll be up soon.’

‘People aren’t fine when they drink alone at 3am Carrie. Especially that stuff.’ He persisted.

‘I said I’m fine!’ I snapped.

‘You having doubts, like second thoughts?’ I could see he wasn’t going to be fobbed off.

‘Far from it, you’re the easy bit.’ I replied.

‘Okay, so tell me about the hard bit.’

‘You’d better sit down you’re distracting me!’ I realised I was getting drunk. He took a seat in front of me; his distraction having disappeared. ‘At 11am today I have a guy called Thomas arriving. Until yesterday morning when you arrived, I would have got up at around 7am, showered, sat here and eaten breakfast then got into my Dom gear and prepared for his arrival. I imagine he would arrive, I would have taken him upstairs, beaten shit out of him then tied him down again face side up and fucked him. I would have fucked HIM!’ I took a sip of whisky which allowed him time to speak.

‘You said until I arrived?’ I put the glass down and to my surprise Adam picked it up and took a sip himself. It took his breath away. I could see another first for him.

‘Yes, you see everything has changed. Everything that has happened since. Your initial interview, the guy that followed and everything that happened last night has let up to this. Us sitting here.’ He frowned.

‘Sorry, I don’t follow.’

‘Until I met you my entire focus was my resentment towards men. I’d been systematically raped by the very person who should have protected me most. My father. He beat me too, that has had its own lasting effect of leaving me with low esteem and a degree of self-hatred. Unbelievably, although I have a body I have tried to hone to perfection I also have a deep loathing towards it. From the moment you left this house earlier, then meeting you in Bogarts and then back to here again and everything that happened last night, so much of my damaged past has melted away. Okay, I know I can’t erase it, but I feel I’ve forgiven myself for being who I was. I know I haven’t got anything to forgive myself for, but that isn’t how it works. I took my self-hatred out on those men who arrived. Now I have the first arriving in just over seven hours, and I don’t think I can do this any more. Even the thought of you watching I can’t cope with, because I’m not sure how you will judge me while I’m doing what I’ve done hundreds of times before. Even more so afterwards, when you’ve allowed it to sink in. Worst still, is the thought of me fucking this man, who I would have done with relish two days ago. He would have paid expecting me to beat him but also to fuck him too. I realise only too well what that makes me.’ I stopped. I’d let it out, well, much of it anyway, there was still something else I dreaded asking.

‘It didn’t worry me, the thought of you continuing to do what you’ve done long before I arrived. So, how can I possibly judge you? This is my first night with you and we have both made love for the first time. I’m sorry you hate yourself, that you loathe your beautiful body. I love every part of you. I believe I will soon fall in love with you in every other way too. I hope in time I will be enough for you, that you can walk away and draw a line under this life. But it is your life, and you have to decide for you and only you. Your decision cannot involve me. If you can’t do it, then don’t. Cancel the man’s arrival. Cancel future bookings too. But that has to be your decision for the right reasons. As for watching you fuck another man, no, I couldn’t watch you do that. I know you’ll wear a condom but seeing another man’s cock enter your beautiful openings or even being in the next room but knowing you are doing that will upset me.’ I felt tears forming in my eyes and Adam now became a blur. He continued. ‘I was a virgin in every way until I entered you earlier. I lost count how many times I repeated that. I also penetrated another surprising place too. It’s bad enough knowing how your virginity was taken as an innocent child but the thought of you cheapening yourself because you are doing it out of self-loathing feels like you are self-flagellating, whipping yourself. That you are punishing yourself for being party to actions that you couldn’t control.’

‘I do that too.’ I blurted it out.

‘Do what Carrie?’ He asked.

‘Self-flagellate.’ I clarified. We looked at each other. He looked stunned, then I realised it could only be pity.

‘I don’t need your pity, Adam.’

‘Tell me what you do need then, because I can’t bear the thought of you doing that to yourself. It’s the epitome of loneliness.

‘I won’t be lonely doing it much longer.’ I countered.

‘Sorry I don’t follow, what does that mean?’

‘It means I have someone else booked to do it instead.’

‘No, you can’t. Who?’ Adam reacted. I realised I was digging an ever-bigger hole for myself.

‘A friend, someone in the same line as me.’ I explained.

‘A woman, please tell me it’s a woman.’

‘Of course, it’s a fucking woman. Do you honestly think I’d let a man do it!’ I realised how harshly I has responded. I could see hurt in his eyes. I was ruining everything. ‘I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that.’

‘No, I didn’t. I was only thinking of your welfare.’

‘I can’t help how I feel, self-loathing is very corrosive, I’ve felt this way a long time. It hasn’t just crept up on me overnight.’ He didn’t reply for a long time.

‘This doesn’t bode well for us does it. We haven’t got through a single day before division has started to destroy what might have been. I can’t live with someone who appears to have a death wish. How can I not be affected knowing someone is going to hurt you deliberately. That it will be at your bidding. How can I lie next to someone in bed, make sweet love and have to see the marks of inflicted pain on your beautiful body. I’d prefer we stop now because I will get hurt too. My marks won’t show like yours will, but my pain will be just as great as yours.’ I was shocked, I panicked at the thought of losing someone before I’d even got to know him.

‘Don’t say that. Surely you don’t mean it?’ I asked tentatively.

‘If our roles were reversed, you wouldn’t feel the way I do?’ I knew I would, but it didn’t alter how I felt.

‘You prefer I live in denial?’

‘Of course, not but you can let me help you heal. You say yourself how the few hours we have known each other has changed you, how you feel the need to walk away from a sadistic vice which has gripped you for too long. Surely, given time this masochistic need could be eased away too. Isn’t it worth a try?’ He asked, the atmosphere now heavy and draining.

‘I need to do this Adam. I need to find out how I feel afterwards and whether I will start the process of at least liking myself knowing love will take longer.’ Adam took my hand.

‘Cancel Thomas, cancel this friend to. If you insist on proceeding, then at least let’s keep it under our control.’ I picked up on a word of two in that reply.

‘Let us? Our control? Why would you wish to become involved, how?’ I asked.

‘I’ll do it instead.’

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texshire-books · 8 months

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When Nigel seeks a little with that little bit extra, he has no idea how this will become a journey of reawakening for himself and his long-held understanding of who he is? Those he meets are affected too and soon find themselves facing pain, rejection, and humiliation as they have their previous lives turned upside down. Soon it becomes a race against time to repair a long-standing friendship before it is destroyed for ever. Sadie Stern does it again. She looks at confused sexuality and explores it brutally from top to bottom. A story with no holding back, brutal at times with more than than a sprinkling of dirty sex, spanking, corporal punishment, and sadism. Not a story for the sensitive. It’s FULL- ON!

Chapter Nine!

I woke as I had weeks earlier with Simon next to me. This time it was a young woman. But the end result had been the same. We were both spent. When Jasmine had knelt on the bed, at a first glance she could just as easily been Simon. They were of similar build and when she opened her legs, I saw another part of their respective anatomy they both shared. My focus was on that. To smear it with gel and enter her just as I’d entered him. It was only as I moved forward, I realised something wasn’t the same. Lower down I realised there was something fundamentally missing. Nothing was hanging down or dangling. Instead, was the open gash that could only depict that the gender of the person offering me entry, was different. This person of interest, and my erection told me I was certainly interested, was female. I was staring at a hairless vagina for the first time and I was still uncertain how I felt about the transition I was making. Entry was easier than it had been with Simon, for whom anal penetration was a new, first-time experience. This wasn’t the case with Jasmine. She still tightly fitted around my cock as I slid inside her with ease. I put this more down to her being relaxed and her sphincter slackened for the occasion. I certainly felt that muscle grip once full entry was completed. Once inside, she seemed determined to hold me in place.

‘That’s nice Nigel, when I saw you walk in the bedroom earlier with that leading the way, I knew I had to have that inside me, but in private, like now. Not while prying eyes watched you perform.’ My god this young woman was a temptress. I could see my cane being put to good use pretty soon, possibly the martinet too. I wondered if she’d be quite so blasé after a good whipping between her cheeks. That was for another night, I knew I had to come to terms with that steaming split further down first. I sensed it would soon make its introduction.

Somehow or other she managed to turn around and we moved so I was rested against the headboard and she was sat in my cock instead. All achieved without re-entry. She rubbed her nose against mine and laced her arms round my next. Her beautiful baby blue eyes stared into mine barely inches away.

‘Am I a naughty girl, daddy?’

‘Very, you know how strict I am, so you do realise I’ll have to cane you don’t you.’ I replied, my cock stiffening at the thought.

‘I thought you’d think I was a good girl, your cock isn’t complaining, is it?’ She replied.

‘That is because it’s confused Jasmine. Last night it was inserted into someone who had a penis and testicles, those do not exist on you and what you have in its place is a new experience for him.’ I decided I’d continue the repartee.

‘Ah, but you can’t enter the anatomy you describe. Mine you can and unlike where you are right now, mine is self-lubricating. What is there to not like?’ I felt her clench her buttocks which in turn squeezed the base of my cock.

‘How many cane strokes do you think you deserve?’ I asked. I wasn’t sure what she was used to receiving from Candice.

‘How many do you think my wanton, who’re ish behaviour deserves daddy?’

‘Ah, I don’t think quantity matters, it’s more about quality and in your case how hard I apply my cane.’

‘So, you’ll leave me hanging on, uncertain when my punishment will end. That’s cruel daddy. My bum is only little and people say it’s cute. You don’t want to hurt it really, do you?’ She was right about its size; it’s perfect slight pear shape and it was certainly cute.

‘It will be a shame I agree. I’ll settle for twelve very hard strokes!’ Now she knew what to expect.

‘That is still harsh daddy, will you whip my anus too?’ Another difference between her and Simon now came into play. She twisted her torso, which rubbed her erect nipples against my chest.

‘Undoubtably, we must contain your urge for anal penetration. It’ll be too sore for that activity for a while.’ Jasmine shook her head.

‘It’ll take more than that to stop me enjoying my favourite pastime daddy.’

‘So, you enjoy anal penetration to your other place of entry?’ I replied.

‘Places daddy, I have a mouth too remember.’ I shivered. I truly wondered quite what I had sharing my bed.

‘Isn’t Candice going to miss you?’ I asked, turning the gas down a little as I felt the milk rising in the pan.

‘I’m not the only girl in her harem. I’m probably the dirtiest though. Stop complaining, you’re the lucky boy instead – daddy.’

‘I certainly am Jasmine. I suppose at some time we must decide what we are going to do about your other place which is dripping its juices between my legs. Yours is the first I’ve ever seen in the flesh. What if I can’t deal with that?’

‘That? That you might find that part of me repulsive?’ Naturally she’d hit the nail on the head yet again.

‘Yes Jasmine. If I’m honest it terrifies me?’ I replied truthfully.

‘In that case daddy I think it’s time you and my wet pussy became acquainted.’

We got up, it was clear Jasmine wanted to talk. I was nervous about how this would end. My worst fear was that two couples who had gathered for a dinner party would end up as four individuals and by my action of bringing those parties together, I’d destroyed what was an established relationship and another, mine with Simon, had left four individuals alone and miserable. I opened another bottle and just wearing towelling robes we seated ourselves facing each other in the kitchen.

‘This seems rather ominous, like a huge amount now rests on the outcome of what we are about to discuss?’ I opened the conversation once our glasses were filled.

‘The conversation we are about to have is just part of this Nigel.’ I noted the term Daddy seemed to have been dropped. ‘The other more important part will depend on the outcome of what then takes place upstairs afterwards.’ I frowned.

‘I assume you mean my engagement with your vagina?’ I clarified.

‘Very formal Nigel, but yes. The thing is this. I cannot remain with a man who finds any part of my anatomy repulsive. It’s quite a test. And you will be tested. Unless you can lick me dry and swallow what you scoop out of my wet slippery pussy then we are done. I’ll get dressed and leave. So, if you have any doubts about the outcome of me reversing my cunt onto your mouth to lick out, then I suggest you tell me now. It’ll save a lot of mutual embarrassment.’ There was then an ominous silence which she broke. ‘So far Nigel, you have to all intentions, fucked Simon. Okay, there were no dangly bits, but now you are going to find I’m ALL female and if you can’t handle that it’s best we stop now!’

‘You want the honest truth?’ I asked, she shrugged which I took to be a yes. ‘I won’t know until we do it. I’m still erect, I do fancy you like hell, but I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. I’m not going to risk losing you, so I must at least give it a go?’ Jasmine smiled.

‘I like it when you’re positive Nigel. Shall we go and find out?’

‘Make yourself comfortable against the headboard, Nigel and close your eyes. Don’t open them till I say!’ I couldn’t believe I was being dominated by an eighteen-year-old. Surely, I was the Dom here? Obviously, Jasmine was in charge and not me. I obeyed. I moved myself back until my back hit the padded headboard whereupon Jasmine had me lower myself to what she considered to me the best approximate height, for what exactly? I closed my eyes. I felt her move. I knew she had straddled my legs and was moving up towards me. I didn’t need my eyes open to realise what she was doing. When she reached my hips, I was tempted to peep but I resisted the urge which was more than I could say about my cock which was rock solid and pointing upwards towards the ceiling. ‘I’m coming closer, keep those eyes closed!’ She called out. She was past my waist now and still moving. I could smell her musky scent too, hot, and sweaty. Then she stopped. I know she was barely inches away; I could feel her heat too. ‘Open your eyes Nigel, tell me what you can see.’ I opened one eye, then realising how close her gaping raw flesh was from my face I opened my other eye too. She was so close I had to focus my eyes to take in the most extraordinary view I’d seen in years. ‘Don’t be she Nigel, describe what you can see.

‘To be honest Jasmine, I don’t know where to start. It is something I’ve never seen before, so I have nothing to compare it to.’ I answered in the only way I knew.

‘Does it repulse you. That is my hot, wet cunt Nigel. You are about to eat it!’ She called back at me.

‘No, Jasmine not at all.’

‘In that case open your mouth wide.’ I realised this was the big test. I opened wide and in a single rear movement, she sat back onto me, my mouth filling with hot raw meat and my nose pressing against her anus. I wondered if I’d gag, but instead I tasted her wet slippery excess. It had a neutral taste, slightly brackish. ‘Lick me Nigel, work your tongue through my wet lips, down as far and you can go, suck it up and swallow me.’ I sucked indeed. I was slurping. I didn’t feel revulsion at all, just arousal. I sniffed her anus which had a strong distinctive scent of musk. I wondered out of shear devilment she might strain a fart. I knew I’d break a cane across her arse if she did. My tongue found her opening and I delved deep, I knew my cock was heading down there soon. I’d passed her test!

‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’ Jasmine pressed my hands down on the bed submissively, leaning forward, looking at me intently. She was seated down on top of me again only this time my cock was inserted somewhere it had never been before, with her or anyone also female. We’d kissed too, more than a mere peck on the cheek. It had been a tongue wrestle where our bodily fluids had been exchanged liberally. We both reeked of sex.

‘Would you be insulted if I called you a dirty bitch?’ I asked. She smiled at the question.

‘No daddy, I’d take it as a compliment. I know I’m pretty full on. I’ve always loved sex right on the edge. Ordinary doesn’t do it for me. Candice only taught me a few niceties; I’ve really been like this from birth! I was masturbating when I was barely out of diapers.’ I sensed that.

‘You and I are cut from the same cloth. I was always a highly sexual person, but my immaturity as a boy, leading into manhood left me confused. I’d get erect in the showers at school, all those neat bums on display in the changing room, all those wet bums in the showers. Boy's cocks too. One day I saw cane marks on one boy’s bum. I wondered what he’d done to get those. I was fascinated. I got a set of my own shortly after. Thing is Jasmine, I was hopelessly shy, I never approached girls. I needed someone forward, someone like you, I guess. Had you introduced yourself and we’d got to know each other my sole contact with men wouldn’t have happened?’ Jasmine didn’t seem convinced.

‘Maybe not daddy. Look at me, I’m bisexual. I took sex from whatever source I could. Obviously, Candice came into my life early but that still didn’t stop me going with boys. I lost my virginity at fourteen. Now I’ve just taken yours in a way. It’s life daddy it’s what happened. It is what happens now that matters.’ I wasn’t quite sure what she meant.

‘I’m not sure I understand?’ I asked.

‘Whether you choose me or you revert to a relationship with a man.’ She paused.

‘I have nobody in my life now Simon has gone. As I said, I’m not sure it felt right second time around?’

‘I’d like you as my daddy, but I feel terrible guilt that I stole Simon from you. I was determined to have you and when I want something, nothing stands in my way. I want to continue this and see where it takes us, but I feel I must do two things first.’ I was curious.

‘What things?’

‘Firstly, I must atone my guilt. Secondly as soon as possible afterwards, I must meet Simon and explain. He has to know, and I feel that is best coming from me?’ I wasn’t sure.

‘I feel Simon owes that explanation coming from me. I hope you don’t feel I’d be persuaded to change my mind?’

‘Of course not daddy, even if you did, that is your choice. We have just been through one test to satisfy me. I couldn’t stay with you if I felt you preferred Simon instead. No, I’ve known Simon since childhood and it breaks my heart to think I might have destroyed a beautiful friendship.’ I could see that but there was the other thing she said she needed to do.

‘You mentioned atonement. How do you intend going about that Jasmine?’

‘Actually, you play a role in this. I need you to beat me with your cane, whip my anus too. I must pay a painful price for what I did to Simon and Candice, I guess. It was a deliberate act on my part. I need you to make me suffer!’

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texshire-books · 11 months

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Chosen by Sadie Stern - an excerpt.

Fiona

I can’t believe I’m masturbating. While that act is not unusual for me, what is unusual are the circumstances which have taken my hand between my legs tonight and compelled me to run my fingers through its slippery folds and rub myself to climax. Normally, I’d watch porn, sometimes a passage within a book will turn me on so much, the inevitable journey of my hands in a downward direction is the only end result. Never before have I felt this need after just a brief chance encounter with someone who has made an impression of seismic proportion. As I continue to rub myself, I’m thinking back to that moment earlier. I was visiting a new bookstore in town. Some might smile at my description. It’s just called Heaven and for some, certainly not all, that is precisely what it is. The windows are plain. Opaque coverings inside mask its contents. Most bookstores place their wares in full view, after all, what is a book store without…… books? Now we are down to semantics; the study of meaning. Inside, some might argue over genre, even content. The books and magazines on sale in Heaven are not for everyone and those I have purchased have been the normal material for the purpose of masturbation.

I was leaving. Unusually I’d not seen anything to rouse my ardour. My period was due and while I became horny over the week that followed, it was the days preceding that took the spring out of my step. I reached the door which opened just as I arrived. That was when I saw her. I looked up and there she was. Tall, five ten in her heels. Dark haired and sultry, elegant in a way that only good breeding can achieve. High class and obviously well connected. So why is she entering Heaven, hardly Waterstones, this a down market, seedy book joint favoured mostly by men seeking good wanking material for later. Our eyes met. Hers were a vivid green, like a cat. She smiled as those same eyes bored into mine, then her pink tongue appeared and ran itself along her top lip. She slowly nodded too, she approved of what she could see. I shivered as I realised, she had licked her lips, just as anyone would having savoured a juicy raw steak and wondered how long she dare place it under the grill before it was served up on a plate ready for a welcoming mouth. I had a place for that mouth and especially a searching tongue. That place was wet already from my searching of a different sort, words meant to arouse and those lay behind me in their millions as I stepped out of the bookshop and maintaining eye contact throughout.

She slid past, moving in the opposite direction. Within seconds the door would close and the same window coverings which also extended to the door would block her out of my view. She’d be gone, what then? I turned and looked while the door slowly closed; one last smile and the briefest of flicks of pinkness from what I imagined was a probing tongue. Then she really was gone. What now, I could hang around like a lost puppy. A stray? Wait to have a collar placed around my neck and be led home? I laughed, that only happened in the books I liked to read. My name is Fiona Jones, I am submissive. I am lesbian too; I’m twenty-one years of age and I have recently graduated from university. I’d love to stay and see what happened when the door opened and she re-emerged. I wondered if she’d carry a bag, whose weight would determine how many books she had purchased. The question would be, which books? I couldn’t stay, I had an interview the following day and I needed to prepare. I was highly aroused now, my panties, if you could call what a wore by that name, were sodden and these needed replacing too. I’d have the irresistible urge to masturbate but I’d leave that until bedtime when I could get my box of toys working. Thankfully I kept a good supply of batteries in the same box and tonight I knew they would be put to good use.

I’d seen the advertisement for a personal assistant in a magazine. It was a graphic design business and its chief executive Ginevra Calivari was seeking a new personal assistant. I was puzzled by the type of magazine her company, Unique had placed its advert, it suggested its intention was to find someone with a certain je ne sais quoi? Did I have that certain undefinable quality? I wrote off more in hope than expectation. A recent photo was required and I had one taken by a friend when I had attended a final graduation party which certainly met the required timescales. I guess I can best be described as chic, tiny and with elfin features framed by a short boyish hairstyle which suited my blonde hair. I wore a party dress which ended well above the knee. Much further and I might have exposed too much. You see, that dress was all I wore! I can’t believe it even now, I’d been selected, short listed for interview and it was tomorrow!

I’m in bed now and those mysterious green eyes are plaguing my thinking. My hand is in its normal place, my fingers working their magic between my legs. I’m wet, when am I ever not wet. I’ve always been highly sexual. From the earliest of age, I’d placed a mirror, propped against my headboard and I’d lain on my back with my knees raised and my legs well apart. I was fascinated by my split, hairless mound. I knew my pink lips spilled out without any assistance. But I’d pull back my folds and expose its pink sodden contents. Even at eight I’d get wet and I quickly found where to rub and create an extraordinary sensation. Who knows what a climax is at that age? I did! I saw this pink bud peering out of its hooded protective hiding place. I wondered what it was? I soon found out the moment I touched it. I found this almost electric shiver run up my spine which stopped immediately I removed my finger from its tip. Rubbing it and encircling it brought on another feeling altogether. I’d watched my mother cook; she said milk had to be watched intently and as it rose up the side of the pan, the trick was to take it off the heat to prevent it spilling over. I soon learned to tease myself, prolong that moment. I now know the term edging describes this. Then, when I knew the inevitable result of continuing would create a messy explosion, I’d stop and start again. My mother took me to the doctor concerned I’d developed late-stage bed wetting but I knew different. I learned to take a towel to bed and I was suddenly cured of my affliction.

My mirror exploration didn’t stop at my clitoris. I now know its name of course. I looked at its depths; there was a void which begged its own exploration and it was certainly getting plenty tonight as I worked my new phallic object in and out. In my early exploration I found another place too if I lifted my bottom higher and parted my cheeks. This was pink too but something considered a rather forbidden place. Wasn’t that it’s appeal though? Didn’t everyone go and see, even enter a place forbidden entry? I knew then I could only be attracted to such anatomy. I learned at convent school that boys were different. I learned a lot about sin, sinful actions, and especially sinful thoughts. I was in the shower one day and a girl stood nearby. I reached out and touched her. She screamed and the consequences were dramatic. I found myself held over a desk later a nun holding my wrists while another crouched down and held my ankles. My bottom was bared and I bit my lip and refused to scream while a thick strap was applied multiple times to my bottom. Later, another sin as a masturbated in bed, my still warm bottom signalling another pleasure had been discovered - pain!

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texshire-books · 1 year

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An Excerpt from The Professor

A romantic story of hot lesbian sex by Anietta Strong

Penny

I’m standing in the corner, or one of several, I am naked and looking over I can see Lucy in another corner. As we were instructed, before being sent upstairs to prepare, we both have our hands on our head. My legs are parted too. I’m very nervous, this is way outside my comfort zone despite my brazen comments. At least I know it’s an act. Until very recently when I invited Michael back to stay the night, any romantic involvement was unheard of. Now I’ve ventured into new territory, testing something I’ve always wondered about myself. Did I like people of my own sex in a sexual way? I’d seen the cut down shorts in a charity shop, at 50p buying them wasn’t likely to break the bank but their effect when I’d worn them tonight had been electric. I’d never been quite sure when Miriam had moved in. The cottage next to mine had remained empty for years and I’d watched it slowly deteriorate. I couldn’t believe it when it suddenly went up for sale and was bought swiftly. Miriam didn’t look the type, but I could see she was unhappy, frequently deep in thought. I used to walk a lot at night, being out amongst the stars. I frequently passed close to her house after she’d moved in and I could hear her crying. She had obviously lost someone special and I so wished I could have comforted her.

I got to know her and I soon realised she had dropped out of society. She didn’t talk much about her past although she did mention she used to teach modern history at a London university. She mentioned her intention to start a small holding, try her hand at niche products such as cheeses made from sheep and goat’s milk. She even considered getting a small herd of buffalo, to make mozzarella, bocconcini, ricotta, feta, and halloumi cheeses. I soon talked her out of that! A few milking cows were a handful, but buffalo! She wasn’t bothered about getting her hands dirty either, she helped with milking and it was then I gradually started to have other feelings too. The main of which was was one of dependency. Then came the book. Michael had stayed over and was cooking breakfast, she arrived flushed and excited – her book had been accepted for publication. Our worlds changed from that day onward and it had culminated in me kissing her. Why? I didn’t know why or what to expect, but my actions this morning had brought me back later when her car pulled up. I wore a short tight-fitting dress and nothing else whatsoever underneath and now, hours later I was standing naked in her bedroom awaiting her attention.

‘That’s what I like to see, a nice plump bottom ready for spanking, except there are two now. How lucky can I get.’ Miriam announced her arrival. A shiver ran down my back. I’d never been spanked. My mother was strict but I never received as much as a slap across my legs. The fact I was naked was a telling factor, I had no doubts as to where that forthcoming spanking was to be directed. I knew Miriam was moving closer. I turned my head to look across at Lucy who was looking back at me. ‘Keep your nose pressed into the corner young lady, don’t look at her. You need to do the same Lucy, you’re in enough trouble as it is!’ I felt both hands cup my cheeks. I knew my bottom was tight and muscular. All those hours of toil had firmed my glutes. ‘I’ve thought about the possibility of this moment arising ever since I saw your rear end for the first time. You were bending over and I’ve taken a keen interest in it ever since. In fact, you knew that didn’t you Penny, I know you have recently put it on display even more haven’t you?’ I had, I’d caught her looking several times and as a result I’d posed in a way to place it in prime position.

‘Yes, Miriam.’ She now prised my cheeks apart and slid several fingers deep between.

‘Clench your cheeks.’ I did and she slid her hand back out.

‘I told Lucy you could crack a walnut between your cheeks. It was clearly an exaggeration but I’m going to compare your cheeks to those of Lucy whose are very cute but lacking in muscle tone. I’ll expect some improvement though, do you hear.’

‘Yes mummy.’ She answered. It seemed an odd reply, one I could understand in a way. Then a hand went between my legs. Untouched by human hand since a child. Now two hands had been there. Michael’s and now, extraordinary that of a woman. It wasn’t the touch of a doctor or gynaecologist either, this was sexual and I knew she was heading to the spot. Her fingers seemed to crawl through and then a finger reached my sensitive place. I shuddered and my knees went weak.

‘You masturbate don’t you? I saw you outside in sun, wind and rain. I never saw anyone else at your house, you rarely went out so I did wonder how you satisfied your sexual needs, a young woman with racing hormones, needing a solution to her arousal. Well?’ My God, this woman didn’t let up!

‘Yes, Miriam I do. In fact, after I kissed you this morning I went back home and I rubbed my spot until I had the ultimate feeling.’ I answered truthfully. I heard a giggle from Lucy. She was laughing at my naivety.

‘You mean you rubbed your clitoris until you climaxed. We all do it Penny including Lucy who will get two extra cane strokes for being hurtful.’

‘Yes mummy, I’m sorry Penny.’

‘Apology accepted.’ I replied. Miriam removed her hand and moved away. I wondered what was now going to happen. I didn’t have to wait long

‘Come here Penny.’ Miriam spoke in her soft but powerful voice. I turned and she was seated on the bed, halfway along it’s length. I moved towards her and stood legs apart before her. My pubes were at her eye level. ‘I sensed you were a redhead at heart. In the sunlight I often saw the colour of spun gold in your hair. It’s more pronounced further down.’ She tugged at my shaggy mound. ‘Do you like pubic hair, I used to but when stray grey hairs appeared I started to shave. Young Lucy shaves, don’t you?’ Miriam asked to which her now standard reply was returned.

‘Yes mummy.’

‘I’ve never considered them. I’ve seen pictures of naked women and their areas were shaven. I assumed it was so more of herself was visible to the person looking?’ I answered.

‘Personally, I prefer the pubic and vaginal area shaven, or certainly trimmed short. Some women have hair running between their cheeks, even part way up their back. Obviously, it’s a choice you have to make, it’s your body. Turn around, part your legs wide and bend over, lets see if this applies to you.’ I was horrified!

‘I can’t, you’d see everything, including my bum hole!’ I bleated. My mother always told me it was a disgusting place and only certain men had any interest in it.’

‘Bum hole? You can call it that in your home Penny, but in my home, you use it’s correct name, anus. It’s your anus and below it is your vagina and yes, you will be exposing both to my gaze, it’s the whole reason for the exercise.’ I felt a shiver run down my spine again, this woman’s voice could cut glass, she sounded too strict for me to consider disobeying her. She aroused me.

‘I realise that Miriam, but even so, it’s something I’ve never even considered. It’s so embarrassing, so humiliating.’ I tried to reason. I glanced across at Lucy who looked sympathetic. I realised she’d been here too.

‘I did say downstairs, that staying and playing with the grown ups would be that step up. You don’t have to do anything you don’t like. Lucy, and I make complete love, no holds barred, nothing is off the table. We both have the same red lines, that of safety and human values. But ours is always consensual. If you feel you cannot do this, then it’s best you get dressed and go home.’ There it was, an ultimatum. I’d come this far and I’d been sexually aroused to levels unheard of with Michael. I knew I had to stay. I turned around parted my legs still further and bent over until my fingers touched the carpet. I felt my sticky buttocks part and cold air invaded what was then exposed to her. ‘There, that wasn’t too bad, was it?’ It was too late to argue. Everything was gaping, so nothing was now left to the imagination. Then horror. ‘Lucy, would you like to come and assist me. I can’t see very well where I’m looking with her tangle of distinctive red hair so I feel I need a second opinion.’ I went to argue but decided I’d only get the same response and I’d find myself alone in bed with no certainty Michael would be round later. I sensed movement and then I saw a pair of bare feet had arrived. Lucy’s body now pressed against my back, so there was no chance I could stop them now. I felt hands grasp each cheek and pull then open so wide I felt I might split.

‘No Miriam, I agree, Penny is clear of hair, or between her cheeks anyway, I can’t say the same for her vagina though.’ I felt a finger touch my anus, it was a strange word, new to me, but one I imagined I’d have to adopt now. Then a shock, hot lips pressed down and what I assumed to be a flicking pointed tongue was working its way around that area before it came to rest at its centre.

‘Oh my God, don’t stop, that feels so nice.’ I murmured with a trembling voice.

‘I think Penny is lesbian don’t you Lucy?’ I heard Miriam’s voice and her hot breath invading me as she spoke.

‘I do, would you like me to come over and shave you?’ Lucy then asked. I wondered if Miriam might object. There was none and all the action between my cheeks was rhythmic licking

‘I’ve never considered it but yes, if you don’t mind. Tomorrow?’ I suggested.

‘I’ll have to ask mummy if I can come out to play though.’ I couldn’t believe what I’d got myself into but I wasn’t complaining.

‘Yes, so long as you don’t stay too long. You get overtired and irritable.’ Well, I’d just heard the green light given. Then the mood changed and Miriam pulled away. My anus now felt cold as its wetness was exposed to the air. ‘Would you be so kind as to help Penny into the wheelbarrow position for her spanking.’ Lucy moved away and I stood up. Next, I was told to get on my knees and Lucy helped me climb up to straddle Miriam’s waist as she sat on the bed. A soft pillow was tossed down to rest my head upon. I was exposed once again but now in a position I understood from its description. ‘I’m now going to smack your bottom. I must admit I’ve looked forward to this moment.’ Miriam announced. I’d never been as much as slapped, I felt nothing but trepidation. ‘Are you ready?’ She asked. I didn’t feel I’d ever be ready, but I didn’t know what else to say.

‘Yes Miriam.’ I felt Miriam’s warm hand pat my cheeks then it was raised and brought down firmly.

SMACK!

‘Owww!’ I squealed. It stung. The blows continued. Smack after smack rained down on both cheeks and then round my flanks. I started to cry, then scream. It was relentless. Then it stopped and the same hand that had hurt so much was rubbing me, straying between my legs and seeking out my spot I now knew was my clitoris. Another pair of hands arrived and I felt cream being squeezed from a tube and rubbed into my burning cheeks. The pain had gone and now replaced by something much nicer. Miriam’s finger went to work on me and I started to get a very familiar feeling, but one which was building into something far greater than I’d ever experienced. The rubbing increased in intensity and another finger was on my anus. Between the two I felt unimaginable pleasure and it had reached a stage where there was to be no return. I breathed in deeply and let out a shattering roar as my climax took me over the cliff.

I’m downstairs now, we decided to have a break. We all sat around the kitchen table in matching towelling robes, mine a spare, but Miriam suggested getting our respective initials placed on each, as she anticipated we’d all three meet quite often.

‘I don’t do jealousy and if we all stick to that rule we will get along. I don’t think you’ll ever be in doubt you are lesbian do you Penny?’ Miriam asked. It was a question I didn’t answer before my mobile phone pinged to say I’d had a text message. I read it and placed the phone down dismissively. ‘I bet he’s cancelled?’ Miriam asked.

‘That obvious, was it?’ I replied.

‘I suspect you had your doubts all along.’ Lucy added.

‘I know, but it still hurts. So, what do I do now, I can’t muscle into your relationship, much as I’d like to. I can’t lock myself away like Miss Havisham in Dickens’s Great Expectations can I!’ I replied, irritated.

‘When I moved here, obviously heartbroken, I left it a few weeks and I started checking on Fetlife and there was to my surprise a kink group for lesbian women in the area. It has 50 members. I don’t think a vanilla relationship will cut it for you, so I suggest you check them out. I’ll give you the contact details. Our bed upstairs is plenty big enough for four, so, if you strike gold and find a nice girl of similar age to yourself, certainly not my age, then bring her along. She’ll need to have a cute arse though!’

‘That is news to me, but it just proves what a sheltered life I’ve led until now.’ I replied.

‘I bet you’ve never cum like that in your life!’ Miriam suggested.

‘Are you kidding! At one stage when I was midway through my climax, I thought my insides were dropping out’ I realised now, what made me take off into orbit was when Lucy had leaned down between my parted cheeks and licked me too. That, together with what Miriam was doing took me onto a new level and while Michael’s cock was very nice, what these two women were doing between them while I was trapped had given me pleasure in a way he couldn’t achieve if he tried between now and kingdom come. I was hooked line and sinker!

‘How’s your bottom?’ Miriam asked.

‘Warm!’ I replied.

‘Good, that is how it should be.’ She then asked me a question. ‘What are your plans now Michael isn’t coming, only I have plans for Lucy and I feel you shouldn’t be present.’ I felt a little like I was being dismissed.

‘I have things I can do, plus I have to be up just after five for milking, can I be nosy and ask what those plans are?’ Miriam looked at Lucy who looked back sheepishly.

‘Lucy and I have some issues to deal with which involves corporal punishment. I’m not sure you should be present, but that depends on you and whether Lucy minds you being here. It’s going to get very personal and very emotional.’ I was aware she’d mentioned caning Lucy, but I wasn’t totally sure she meant it. I wondered about the wisdom of remaining, I would feel like a voyeur or at least an intruder into something very private.

‘I’d like her to stay.’ Lucy announced. ‘She can comfort me.’ I was more than shocked. I was totally amazed.

‘I prefer you didn’t, do you mind? We can catchup tomorrow, besides Lucy has a little task to perform.’ I’d forgotten the shaving. I wondered about the wisdom of doing that. I loved my little red bush. I sensed tension in the room, possibly one borne out of fear. I didn’t know what was going to happen but I sensed there was a score to settle. I didn’t want to sit in the middle of something only two out of our trio could resolve so I got up, made my excuses, and went upstairs to dress.

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