thottyimagines

[thottyimagines]

What are the Konoha 12’s favorite reality TV shows? You can literally say anything from Dance Moms to Kitchen Nightmares, I just need to know what you think 😭 Love your work btw <3

Thank you!

Naruto loves Jersey Shore Family Vacation, specifically, because he really likes that these crazy party animals have grown up to have wholesome family fun. That they are still crazy and spend entire episodes yelling at each other, just now they sometimes disappear for a while to go hang out with their kids, does not occur to him.

Sasuke doesn't watch reality tv. At least, not after the time he got sucked into a Toddlers & Tiaras marathon and walked away four hours later thinking of Itachi with absolute pity for reasons he still can't quite explain or understand.

Sakura likes watching Bad Girls Club; she takes notes during both verbal and physical altercations.

Kiba is a reality tv connoisseur, and it's not even a little bit because of his sister. He can talk to anyone about their favorites, because he's seen at least a handful of episodes of any show he can get his hands on. If he had to pick, his favorite would be Love Island. Most of his slang comes from there.

Hinata likes Love is Blind, even if it saddens her that her Byakugan would surely disqualify her from ever being a contestant herself. But she would (a) totally never cheat and (b) absolutely never try to be on reality tv, lest she get picked and die of shame.

Shino has been watching RuPaul's Drag Race religiously for longer than he'd care to admit. He watches Untucked, too, because one thing about Shino is that he wants to know the dirty details.

Shikamaru isn't big on most reality tv, but he stumbled upon The Circle and turned watching it into some sort of weird mental exercise on picking apart human social intricacies. He's getting frighteningly good at figuring out exactly how entire seasons are going to play out, down to the order of eliminations.

Ino is a die-hard Bachelor fan. She's weirdly very good at picking out who the winner is going to be by the end of the first night, but Sakura tells herself Ino is just somehow rigging the bachelor fantasy league year after year.

Choji watches Hell's Kitchen. He would never want to be on the receiving end of Gordon Ramsay's ire, but he also feels secure in the knowledge that he'd never be anything but the top dog in that kitchen.

Neji spits on reality tv! What is he, a moron? Anyway, if he walks by Hinata watching Love is Blind, he's lingering in front of the tv with his hands on his hips and a vacant expression on his face until the end of the episode, at the very least.

Tenten likes America's (Konoha's?) Next Top Model, and her favorite episode is always the makeover one. She's equally thrilled by the good and bad haircuts, but looks down on anyone who cries.

Rock Lee is inspired to work hard and be his best by Project Runway each and every time he tunes in. He's never seen the contestants create anything quite so glorious as his Jumpsuit, of course, but it's been a near thing on a few memorable occasions.

#naruto #Naruto headcanons #Naruto imagines #Naruto uzumaki #sasuke #sakura #kiba #hinata #shino #shikamaru #ino #choji #neji #tenten #rock lee #konoha 12

[thottyimagines]

request sfw H, O, E sfw alphabet for itachi pls. Also, you're really creative, it's almost frightening.

Thank you! Being called almost-frighteningly creative is what made me decide to go search through my tags to even find what this would be asking. I can't find the original post, but all of those letters have been requested for others in the tag so:

Itachi

H: What is their deadly sin?

This felt like a hard one to pinpoint, because mostly I think Itachi is unhinged and interesting but, above all else, pathetically sad. But I suppose, given his actions, pride. Whether he's aware of it or not, he thinks he knows better than everyone else, assumes there are no other solutions or options to situations other than what he can think up himself, and feels empowered to dog Sasuke's every step to make sure he's sticking to the Itachi-ordained path to fratricide (and if Sasuke is caught slacking, Itachi will sharply correct him).

O: What would it take to break them, inside and out?

Probably the only thing left that can break this husk of a man is Sasuke's death. You have to understand, Itachi has hung everything on his brother.

The massacre is an acceptable sacrifice, because Sasuke gets to live. His exile from the only home he'd ever known and lifetime commitment to being a missing nin is tenable, because he has Sasuke murdering his ass to look forward to. His frankly insane, terrifying, traumatizing actions against Sasuke are for the greatest good of all: knowing his sweet baby brother is strong enough to survive anything.

If that were to be ripped away from him, I can't imagine Itachi's fragile psyche would ever recover.

E: How are they with children?

Terrible and awkward! The moment Itachi started demonstrating that he's a total freak of nature genius baby, the adults in his life went "oh, nice, none of that coddling bullshit needed!"

He has no idea what to do with any child who isn't already just a mini adult. That Sasuke loved and idolized him so much isn't evidence of Itachi's child-rearing prowess; it just tells us that Sasuke is, in his own way, also a freak.

#naruto #Naruto imagines #Naruto headcanons #itachi #sfw alphabet #sasuke

[thottyimagines]

Heyy, i really love ur akatsuki headcanons, like every one of them is so believable lmaoo.

Could u do akatsuki headcanons where their s/o asks them to hold their peepee while they pee? I swear there was one exact ask on tumblr but it cant find it

Thanks and i hope its not a weird question but they r weirdos anyways so

Thank you!

I've gotten a variation of this ask several times which is telling me the people (or just one tenacious anon) really want to know, so...god, here goes nothing:

Pein is...weirdly complicated, given the real body in the basement/paths for his bidding situation, but I'd say the only way he'd allow it is if it's absolutely necessary because his actual bod is too weak to even help himself. I imagine he just diapers the poor thing and gives Konan the honor of cleaning him up, though, so he doesn't really need an s/o to aid in that venture.

Konan, should she have one for her s/o to hold, would be kind of confused by the request, but not put off. I don't think she'd really get it, but sure, knock yourself out, s/o.

Itachi would get flustered and embarrassed, should his s/o ask to do the holding for him. He'd reassure them that he is more than capable of performing his own bathroom duties, from ablutions to urination, and their concern is...well, kind, if unwarranted. He'd probably wonder if his s/o is noticing his deteriorating eyesight and then frets that he can no longer aim, and everyone has felt too awkward to tell him. He starts using the bathroom with his Sharingan always on and the door locked tight so he can make sure he cleans up properly.

Kisame would probably be amused and go for it. He'd somehow find a way to be flirtatious and horny about it, but hey, his s/o was the one to be a freak and ask in the first place so as far as he's concerned it's all fair game.

Hidan would only accept if he could be flirtatious and horny about it. He'd probably just assume his s/o developed a piss kink or something, I'll be real with you.

Kakuzu initially shuts that down with a firm "no." If his s/o is persistent, he'd relent, but he'd be annoyed and brusque about it. If their finger gets caught in the zipper when he's done, well, that'll show them to stop impeding his business.

Deidara gets very embarrassed and flustered, like Itachi, but in a weirdly flattered, excited way. He's young and horny and will gleefully embrace any opportunity to have someone touching his dick, even for something as mundane as him peeing.

Sasori probably didn't give his puppet twink bod any genitalia, as he needs to neither pee nor fuck in this form. He'd be sure to let his s/o know that.

Tobi would get embarrassed and deflect and probably accuse his s/o of being a pervert (fair), but forgive them because they're just too cute. They're still not giving the assist, though. He's self-conscious about how it looks soft.

Zetsu also doesn't seem to have the anatomy required for this scenario, given he's running around in the buff all day long and no one has ever commented about his bits hanging out and about.

#naruto #Naruto imagines #Naruto headcanons #akatsuki #akatsuki headcanons #akatsuki imagines #pein #konan #itachi #kisame #hidan #kakuzu #deidara #sasori #tobi #zetsu

[thottyimagines]

I just spent an hour scrolling through your entire Rock Lee tag and... please sir may I have somemore 🥺🥺🥺

Good god, this has been sitting in my inbox for...over two years. Uh, apologies for the delay.

Rock Lee

Is one of those people who actually doesn't get complimented often (not counting Gai-sensei's praises, of course), so when he receives one, it makes his whole month and he thinks about it and smiles all the time.

Is terrible at games of strategy and puzzles, but loves to challenge himself to try them out, anyway. That boy is spending hours doing the Monday crossword, and he's loving every moment of it.

Uses nice shampoo and conditioner; the bowl cut is super shiny and soft for a reason.

Feeds stray/wild animals on the dl, so most people think that the wildlife is just sensing his magnificent vibes and approaching him for them when they see him surrounded by creatures.

Can't drive but would love to be DD, so he offers inebriated friends and comrades piggyback rides to their destinations.

#rock lee #naruto #Naruto headcanons #Naruto imagines

[thottyimagines]

Incredible art (referencing this post)!!! Oh, she's even more magnificent than I imagined. I laughed aloud at "Sakura's body is all natural (she stole it herself)"

Snake sage Sakura inspired by @thottyimagines incredible response to my sanin swap questions so check that out for context

Text:

Cunty

Orochimaru taught her his eyeliner

Can you tell she stole Tsunade’s look?

Boob job no jutsu? Sakura’s body is all natural (she stole it herself)

Orochimaru also taught her his good hair no jutsu

MEAN GIRL! I just know that she fucks shit up for Konoha to force them to acknowledge her (so many parallels w Orochimaru it’s insane)

Can you imagine the crazy 5D chess she’s playing with Kabuto and Sasori? <3

I just think she’s neat

#art #sage swap #sannin swap #breasts boobily with a threatening aura

[thottyimagines]

was sasuke right?

were naruto's intentions with sasuke selfish?

are the romantic undertones between naruto and sasuke intentional or accidental?

was kakashi trying his best? / was he a "good" sensei?

openings or endings?

Rapid-fire answers:

Was Sasuke right? Yes and no. Konoha delenda est and all that, of course, and he is one of many who deserve particular reparations. However, I don't think this guy who is like uncomfortably strong but has no social skills and also can probably only read at a middle-school level should be out and about playing judge/jury/executioner with the ruling class. He is...not exactly the vox populi.

Were Naruto's intentions with Sasuke selfish? Yes! That doesn't mean they were bad, though.

Are romantic undertones between Naruto and Sasuke intentional or accidental? Accidental, but in a way that makes me feel that it's just personal repression leaking out. I can't go full death of the author here.

Was Kakashi trying his best/was he a "good" sensei? He was trying his best, but he was a bad sensei. His best was terrible and it was a terrible decision to put him in charge of children, especially the beasts he had.

#naruto #naruto meta #controversial asks #I don't know what the last one means so I'm ignoring it

[thottyimagines]

10 for the controversial asks? (& possibly 17 as a followup)

10. Is Sakura a shitty character, or 'shitty-ly' written?

It's not Sakura's fault that she wasn't allowed to properly impact the plot due to the crime of being a woman. I don't think she's a shitty character at all; I think she's interesting and holds a lot of potential and I even enjoy the way that she's kind of a failgirl in canon. She deserved a much better story than what was given to her, and that is, in part, why I have a fondness for fics that feature her as the main character.

17. Is Sakura useless?

Well, yes and no. Yes in that her Big Moments and Growth were largely offscreen and that when she's around, she's more of an afterthought who rarely gets to flex the power she worked for. But no in that she did have a journey of her own, she did grow into herself (before that got, uh, ripped away so she could go marry Sasuke and pop out a kid), and if we want to take her down to what she does for the true main characters, then she's played meat shield and brought them back from the brink of death. So, there's that.

#naruto #naruto meta #sakura #I like the little freak #controversial ask

[thottyimagines]

1, 11 and 12 for the controversial Naruto asks? And thank you!

most overrated character?

Ooo, I've talked about this before a little, but...god help me, I think Naruto himself is not very interesting as a protagonist, and I find him overrated. I just think in the whole wide world of Naruto, there are many more interesting, more fleshed-out, more thought-provoking characters. It doesn't help that I find his personality silly in a way that is a bit grating, and the way he's super overpowered doesn't feel satisfying the way it does for other characters (like Sasuke, for example, who is interesting through the merit of being insane).

11. Is Itachi a martyr, a victim, or a perpetrator?

I certainly wouldn't call him a martyr. He was definitely a victim, both in the way all child soldiers are victims of the war machine and in a way that is more targeted and personal, because he perhaps took to the brainwashing and indoctrination a bit too well and carried out a genocide due to machinations beyond his adolescent scope of comprehension. Just because he's a victim doesn't mean he isn't also a perpetrator, though, especially when it comes to everything he did to Sasuke. Keeping your kid brother alive in order to punish himself later on (and maybe achieve some sort of absolution) using actual torture was...a choice. Doing it over and over again well into adult years makes it impossible for him to simply be a victim.

12. Who should've died in war arc?

Man, lots of characters could have made things very interesting and satisfying. I will say that I'm glad that Kakashi and Gai did not die (I read a post here recently basically saying it was great writing for two characters who thought the best thing they could do was give their bodies and lives for the village having to live despite being so willing to make those sacrifices and I agree), but almost everyone else is fair game to me. Something I get very bored with is a lack of development and follow-through (re: answer #1), and killing off some main characters would be really excellent for forcing that to happen.

#naruto #Naruto meta #controversial asks #hot takes ahoy kind of #naruto uzumaki #sasuke #itachi #kakashi #gai

[thottyimagines]

I’d love to get a little meta with it

Controversial Naruto asks :

most overrated character?

was sasuke right?

were naruto's intentions with sasuke selfish?

are the romantic undertones between naruto and sasuke intentional or accidental?

can kishi write romance?

what makes the Naruto ending bad?

should Naruto have become hokage ?

show a screenshot of your latest draft with no context

which Naruto fandom words are you allergic to?

is sakura a shitty character or shitty-ly written?

is Itachi a martyr, a victim, or a perpetrator?

who should've died in war arc?

was kakashi trying his best? / was he a "good" sensei?

openings or endings?

Is naruto white coded for having blonde hair blue eyes?

Is tobirama racist against uchihas?

Is Sakura useless?

ship wars or power scaling debates?

pettiest fandom opinion you've blocked someone for?

[thottyimagines]

Minato thoughts?

Minato is a magnificent bastard.

He teleports and uses it to slaughter a thousand people in one go. He picked a favorite student who ended up being the only one to survive, then stuffed the kid in ANBU to deal with his big feelings via dissociation and murder. He became the youngest Hokage and made sure to get some sick ass flames embroidered on his jacket.

And who else would ever have the temerity to summon death itself, seal one half of the oldest, most powerful tailed beast away into its stomach, seal the other half into his own minutes-old son, then also get gobbled up by death to spend eternity locked in glorious battle with the beast? Who else would decide that instead of allowing the beast to die with his mortally-wounded wife, the village needing to have a nuke trumped his son needing a father and also not having a demon sealed inside of him?

No one, that's who (well, except for maybe Hiruzen, who is just a rat bastard).

#naruto #Naruto thoughts #minato #minato namikaze #hiruzen

[thottyimagines]

Was Kakashi ever sent on any seduction missions?

I'd like to think not.

When Kakashi was comparatively less skilled, he was very, very young and under Minato's considerable protection. Once he was older, he was very skilled in combat, too unstable to be trusted to not kill the target when it wasn't necessary, and just...too much of a...flight risk, in a sense, to send off on missions that require a strong sense of self and support system.

#naruto #Naruto headcanons #kakashi

[thottyimagines]

Do you write actual fanfics,if so where are they? 😭 I love your writing sm

Thank you!

I have only one published, and it isn't in the Naruto fandom.

I could be convinced to publish more, eventually, that are fandom-relevant. I kind of just write them and hoard them.

#misc #not nart #about this bitch

[thottyimagines]

Still thinking about Naruto in the year of our lord 2024 so I was wondering what your take would be on a Sannin swap, meaning team seven has different mentally unstable mentors from canon so they can be traumatized/educated in new and exciting ways <3

I've written a few about the potential dynamics between Naruto/Orochimaru, Sasuke/Tsunade, and Sakura/Jiraiya, but let me tell you about the different iteration that really and truly is my favorite:

Sakura/Orochimaru

Mad scientist, came-from-nothing ninja with insane chakra control reporting for duty.

Orochimaru takes one look at this pink-haired freak with a puddle of chakra who thinks she can stand side-by-side with the kyuubi and the last of one of the great dojutsu and says, would you like to live deliciously?

And Sakura says, of course I would.

It is not enough for her to succeed, others must fail. And Orochimaru loves and appreciates this about her.

Sakura runs away from Konoha with the promise of having a mentor who will teach her, who will focus on her, who will believe that she's more than her pitiful background and more than her overwhelming teammates.

She is, at first, foisted onto Kabuto. She frightens Kabuto.

When she gets good enough to replace Kabuto, which happens in a very alarming two years (max), Kabuto suddenly gets to live with the ever-present threat of becoming an experiment.

Orochimaru adores her and encourages her to steal any and all clan techniques and kekkei genkai that she can. Why should she be barred from knowledge if she yearns for it?

Sakura is the most learned woman in the elemental nations. She has figured out Orochimaru's Body Problem. She's replicated the Strength of a Hundred seal Tsunade uses. They are a plague unto Konohagakure.

She's gene splicing like nobody's business.

The only people who care that Sakura up and left are Naruto, Kakashi, a bit of Sasuke, and Ino. Except for...well, no one has that manic desire to bring her back, the way Naruto did when Sasuke went missing nin. They kind of view her as a failed experiment, though Ino misses her and thinks of her a lot.

Sasuke/Jiraiya

Such a miserable duo, but they kind of like it.

Jiraiya is strong enough to keep Sasuke safe, and he keeps the kid out of Konoha, which he really needed.

Sasuke takes to everything quickly and antagonistically. Jiraiya hates having such a talented student - he is, perhaps, even more talented than Minato - who is so desperately antisocial.

You know that one post that's like, someone who's objectively attractive but has negative rizz? That's Sasuke, and Jiraiya despairs on the regular, because this student of his should, in theory, take over this position as horny spy master with the way he effortlessly draws in beautiful women who can act as informants. Sadly, due to his personality, no one would ever believe that Sasuke is just charming these (knowledgable) women into bed with him.

Sasuke takes to sealing, and Jiraiya is petrified that he's going to come up with something to, like, replenish his clan at an alarming rate.

Sasuke gets rid of his brother with some sort of homemade seal that traps him in a Matryoshka doll or something. He didn't technically commit fratricide, but Itachi is suffering in that thing.

He comes back to the village looking way better than he did when he left. Jiraiya takes that as his main point of pride.

Naruto/Tsunade

Naruto, should he learn chakra control, is the ideal healer in that he has more chakra than should fit in a human body, even an Uzumaki.

It's the chakra control that is Tsunade's true challenge in teaching. And, good god, is it a challenge. Sasuke is already murdering his brother by the time Naruto can reliably aid in a minor surgery.

But once he finally learns it, Naruto is improving in leaps and bounds, as is his way.

He completes a Strength of a Hundred seal six months after he finally learns chakra control. Sakura has had hers for two years, and he does not know or care.

Naruto is saving people at unprecedented rates. Honestly, Tsunade struggles to justify making him a combat medic, because he's doing so much good in the hospital just staying at the village.

Naruto is Naruto, though, so Tsunade teaches him to brawl using her style.

He winds up on the most dangerous missions, due to the fact that he has a natural healing ability with his Kyuubi, and is now the most talented healer Konoha has (who insists on getting out there).

Honestly, I could see him winding up in ANBU, given those skills and traits.

His true hardship, after mastering chakra control, is realizing that his talk-no-jutsu isn't going to work all the time and that he can't derail missions to attempt it.

Naruto is a better hokage for it, in the end.

#naruto #Naruto imagines #Naruto headcanons #sannin swap #sakura #orochimaru #sasuke #jiraiya #Naruto uzumaki #tsunade #sage swap

[thottyimagines]

Who in Naruto would stand on business and not text their ex or situationship back and who actually would

ABSOLUTELY texting their ex:

Naruto, which is canon, I think. I've little knowledge of Boruto, but I'm pretty sure he and Sasuke exchange carrier pigeons, like, all the time. Naruto would text an ex without any prompting, let alone texting them back.

Sakura has shockingly little self-esteem or respect or dignity when it comes to romance, and she's more than willing to entertain anyone interested in her who isn't a total uggo (re: Rock Lee and any other not-conventionally attractive suitor).

Deidara has no concept of boundaries or closure. He thinks he can just keep sending a stream of consciousness. If his ex ever texts him first, he's going to town on the diary entries sort of texts. He's opening his notes app and copying and pasting all the weird poetry he's been writing since the break up.

Sasuke, but ONLY if it's Naruto.

Kakashi wouldn't text an ex back, but if he got a text, he'd show up in person and just...see what happens.

Choji wouldn't know how to not text back, because he'd feel mean, given their shared history. It's anyone's guess as to whether or not he still has romantic intentions.

Rock Lee is texting back with pleasure. A splendid new friend out of the ruins of romance has emerged!

Hashirama and Madara. Just...just look at them.

Jiraiya, in hopes of a booty call coming out of it.

Tempted, but should pull through:

Ino would love to text back just for the drama, but has a healthy amount of self-respect. If there's no reason to reconcile, there's no reason for her to talk, she can sadly admit.

Hinata would, ordinarily, want to text back, but she might just get too stressed and her teammates could find her in time to rebuke the ex's efforts.

Similarly, Itachi has poetry at the ready to send through, but Kisame might just eat his phone to prevent the Young Adult Meltdown that would ensue.

Hidan, if his feeling are well and truly hurt enough, wouldn't text back. But...well, he might show up to their location and give Jashin a real good day.

Kurenai went years without Asuma showing his face, whilst he was running around defying his father, so she should be fine ignoring the siren song of an ex text. But then...

Oh, Neji has paragraphs upon paragraphs to send living right there in his notes app, but he shan't. He won't. He'll just send them rancid vibes whenever they encounter one another in public for life.

Not texting back:

Shikamaru hasn't the energy to entertain this. Things ended for a reason, and he shan't make himself miserable doing a back and forth in the aftermath. Blocked.

Kiba's sister won't let him text his exes back. She blocks them on his phone as soon as the break up happens. Kiba has no idea they tried to reach out.

Asuma has no interest in texting unless it's for a booty call.

Gaara is too afraid of his wounded pride unleashing the monster within, so he doesn't entertain highly emotional interactions like this.

Kakuzu is straight up tracing the text back to his ex and turning them in for bounty, no matter how meager it is.

Shino agonizes over it, but he prevails.

Tenten talks it over with Neji, who just beats up her ex for her instead.

Genma has deleted their number as soon as they stopped hooking up. Who dis?

#these bitches are MESSY #naruto #Naruto imagines #Naruto headcanons #long post #Naruto uzumaki #sakura #deidara #sasuke #kakashi #choji #rock lee #hashirama #madara #jiraiya #ino #hinata #itachi #hidan #kurenai #neji #shikamaru #kiba #asuma #gaara #kakuzu #shino #tenten #genma

[thottyimagines]

Naaaaa danzo really ripped out the eye of a whole 16 year old that’s some fucked up shit 😭😭😭😭😭

I'd love to see a cage match between Hashirama, whose great dream was to make a village that wouldn't require child death and murderers, and Danzo, the man who perverted all of those noble (if unattainable) goals and made the ultimate child murderers within ~50 years of the village being founded.

#naruto #hashirama #danzo #bonus contender hiruzen who was tobiramas student and still let danzo go make the ultimate child murderers

[thottyimagines]

Who in Naruto are furries?

Team 8 + Kankuro :(

#naruto #Naruto headcanons #team 8 #hinata #kiba #shino #kurenai #kankuro

[thottyimagines]

There is nothing that brings me more joy in this world than Sasuke being an incredibly socially awkward dweeb. He has a pretty face but he uses it to mask how much he cannot be normal. I am requesting more Sasuke being a Massive Dork headcanons-- as cringe as possible if you could ♡

Sasuke had no idea what to do about his terrible acne once puberty hit. No one was there to tell him that he needed to drink water and wash his face and get his greasy bangs off of his forehead. So he just kept trying to make smaller and smaller controlled fireballs to sizzle his zits away. Kabuto had to heal a lot of burnt skin.

He was told by Orochimaru once that if he keeps mouth breathing all the time he'll develop a double chin no matter how lean he is, so Sasuke became hyper-aware of how he was breathing and never really outgrew it.

Sasuke never apologized, not once, to anyone for the crimes and assaults he committed against them. He doesn't even realize many of them expected one.

Sometimes he is made to feel guilty for never remembering anyone's birthdays, so he's started to pretend that he doesn't even remember his own birthday in order to commit to some massive lie about birthdates in particular just escaping him and his prodigious memory.

He loathes receiving letters because then he feels pressured to reply and he, uh, isn't all that great at reading and writing.

Kind of metal, not dorky, but he refuses to pay taxes.

#naruto #Naruto headcanons #Naruto imagines #sasuke #Sasuke uchiha #little wretch #orochimaru #kabuto