witcher-incorrect-quotes

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Eskel : Why are Geralt and Ciri sitting with their backs to each other?

Lambert : They had a fight.

Eskel : Then why are they holding hands?

Lambert : They get sad when they fight.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri #ciri and geralt #help i'm falling in love with eskel #eskel and lil bleater are chillin #witcher eskel #eskel #witcher lambert #lambert

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : How did none of you hear what I just said?

Ciri : I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Lambert : I got distracted about halfway through.

Eskel : Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri #ciri and geralt #witcher lambert #lambert #help i'm falling in love with eskel #eskel and lil bleater are chillin #witcher eskel #eskel #witcher ciri

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Eskel isn’t answering the phone

Ciri : I’ll call

Geralt : Lambert and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Eskel : Hello?

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[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born?

Eskel : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Lambert : I personally was created in a lab.

Ciri : I just straight up spawned lol.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri #ciri and geralt #witcher lambert #lambert #help i'm falling in love with eskel #eskel and lil bleater are chillin #witcher eskel #eskel

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt , in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Jaskier: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Geralt , with the tone of someone who is used to Jaskier: Outstanding.

Geralt : This is what I’m talking about people.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion #geraskier

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt: what's a thot?

Lambert: its a thoughtful person

[Later at dinner]

Geralt: Yen can you pass the salt

Yen: yeah

Geralt: thank you, Yen you're such a thot.

Lambert: *spits out water*

Yennefer: W H A T

Ciri: I'm gone, dad killed me, I'm dead.

Geralt: what did I say??

Eskel trying to figure out what 'thot' means:

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[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Jaskier: I'm quick at math

Yennefer: ok what's 13 multiplied by 20

Jaskier: 45

Yennefer: not even close

Jaskier: but it was quick

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[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Eskel , I'm sad.

Eskel : *Holds out arms for a hug* It’s going to be okay.

---

Lambert : Ciri , I'm sad.

Ciri , nodding: mood.

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[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Hey, you want some leftovers?

Jaskier: What's that?

Geralt : You've never had leftovers???

Jaskier: No, because I'm not a quitter.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion #geraskier

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Do you take constructive criticism?

Jaskier: I only take cash or credit.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion #geraskier

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Jaskier...

Jaskier: Oh no, 'Jaskier' in b-flat.

Jaskier: You're disappointed.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion #geraskier

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Are you sure this is the right direction?

Jaskier: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Ciri : In that case, we're definitely lost.

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri and geralt #ciri #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Eskel : I don’t know how to do that.

Lambert : I don’t wear a watch.

Ciri : Time is a construct.

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[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt , banging on the door: Jaskier! Open up!

Jaskier: Well, it all started when I was a kid...

Ciri : No, he meant-

Yennefer : Let them finish.

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[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Ciri : Why are your tongues purple?

Geralt : We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Jaskier : I had a red one.

Yennefer : oh

Ciri :

Yennefer : OH

Ciri :

Ciri : You drank each other's slushies?

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri #ciri and geralt #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion #geraskier #yenneferthewitcher #yennefer of vengerberg #yennefer

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : I think we're missing something.

Jaskier: Teamwork?

Ciri : Cohesion?

Yennefer : A general sense of what we’re doing?

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri #ciri and geralt #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #geralt x dandelion #yenneferthewitcher #yennefer of vengerberg #yennefer

[witcher-incorrect-quotes]

Geralt : Dammit, Jaskier!

Jaskier: What?! It wasn’t me!

Geralt : Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Ciri !

Ciri : Not me either.

Geralt : Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Yennefer : *whistles*

#geralt #geralt of rivera #geralt of rivia #incorrect quotes #incorrect witcher quotes #witcher incorrect quotes #ciri #ciri and geralt #dont worry jaskier roach loves you #yenneferthewitcher #yennefer #yennefer of vengerberg