#【 » god fucking damn it dave ⇢ ooc « 】

[prefrcntal-a]

Mmm yeah but henry just blissfully thinking he's helping out a friend by buying out Williams business all 😃😃😃

And William sitting there like ' ..... the auDACIDUSSY ON THIS BITCH '

#【 » god fucking damn it dave ⇢ ooc « 】 #yep yep yep yep #i love it

[veneskaa]

The conversations between ahsoka and sabine are literally so awkward to watch and it has nothing to do with their complicated history. and everything to do with how ahsoka pauses for at least three seconds before every line of dialogue. this episode is almost an hour long and could have been so much shorter if we just? directed it differently? like literally not everything warrants a long and mysterious pause god damn

it's also worth mentioning that while i generally think "this character isn't MY character" is a really weak criticism it must be said that ahsoka telling sabine "yeah you SHOULD have made a better jedi, bitch" and walking up the ship like "i don't understand why things have to be so difficult" is so ooc to me. how did dave filoni get to do basically whatever he wanted with his fave oc and then fuck her up like this.... tcw ahsoka... rebels ahsoka...... you are not forgotten

#she's the main character! and her scenes are so long and awkward and painfully drawn out!!! how are you gonna support a whole show on this? #ahsokaposting

[mackrelka]

i really liked the epilogue lol

#it was a super great and funny read #and once you get past the absolute bizarreness of it theres some of the most interesting character exploration #spoilers further beware: #i fuckn lived for obama i swear to god #dirk became a million times more interesting as a character after everything that happened in meat and i dont think it took away from anythi #the narrative changes that they pulled that shit was super engaging #and like damn we love meat for providing the good old davekat #and as painful as candy was on a davekat perspective at some moments daves speech to obama made me legit tear up #i love my boy dave so much #tldr the epilogue was really entertaining and i enjoyed the character exploration post sburb #i dont think any of it was ooc really #not even jade if anything she became more interesting to me lol #also fuck man i really wanna make some art from it now #hs #hs spoilers #just kinda wanted to voice my opinion cause the most vocal consensus at the moment t seems to be how much it sucks and ??idk i dont agree i #i hope ppl dont get pushed away from it just b/c of popular opinion

[ivory-haired-queens-blog]

Unpopular Opinions: Fandom Edition

Hey none of you asked but I’m here to deliver so here are some unpopular opinions for the fandoms I’m in. Spoilers, duh.

Marvel:

I don’t like Natasha. Or Steve.

Pepper Potts is a top.

As much as I love Loki, his death was nessicary in Infinity War.

Steve should have killed Bucky in Civil War. He was a threat, plain and simple.

I ship Ironstrange/Supremefamily.

Clint should have died in Infinity War.

I love Tony Stark with my whole heart. (Not an unpopular opinion but you needed to know that)

I’m not happy with the end of Endgame.

10 years in the making....for you to do Thor like that?

Not because he’s fat or because he’s dealing with trauma, that’s totally acceptable.

What’s not acceptable is them making Thor into the butt of the joke because he’s fat.

I love the Antman movies.

I’m totally not biased because I loved lost.

(I’m kinda biased)

Shuri is the best Marvel character and would beat Tony Stark in a battle of wits.

(I’m so gay I love her.)

With as many years as Marvel has had the MCU, I am disgusted at the lack of diversity within the movies.

Like it’s 2019 and we JUST got a female empowerment scene in Endgame.

Like I want a gay superhero.

(We have a disabled one thank god. Love you Stephen.)

And don’t give me that Valkyrie/Captain Marvel BS because they never blatantly stated or showed it in their movies.

I want an Asian superhero bitch.

A superhero who is Muslim/Islam/and religion besides Christian.

I think that, as much as I hate Natasha and Steve, they should have been the ones that Bruce first sees in Infinity War. I know it set up the whole “earth is closed today” sequence but it didn’t make sense and was OOC.

I love Stephen Strange and he’s never done a single thing wrong ever in his life I would die for this man.

I like MCU Peter Parker over the origional movie Spider-Man.

Fight me.

I also like the Tony Stark/Peter Parker better than the Uncle Ben/Peter Parker so @ me.

The 100

I don’t ship Bellarke that hard.

Like yes, I think they’re obviously being groomed to end up together. I know the show runners will make them official before the end of the series. I’m not mad about that, I just don’t really care to be honest. It’s like, too obvious.

But there are some cute bellarke scenes

What they did to Monty was bullshit but what they did to Jasper was worse.

I feel no guilt whatsoever in saying that I think that killing all of Mount Weather was what they should have done from the beginning.

Yes, even the kids. Because if you kill their leaders, the men and women will fight back. The colony would have been left with a handful of adults, and a bunch of kids if the origional plan had worked. This is doomed to fail and honestly just killing them all would be better than seeing them kill eachother for food, power, whatever. If that makes sense.

I think that Finn deserved to die.

I think that Murphey deserves the world.

Charlotte fucking killed Wells. Yes she’s young but she knows better than to kill someone. Maybe not kill her, but we all know that Clarke wouldn’t have banished her like she did Murphey. Clarke has a gender bias because Murphey didn’t do anything and she wouldn’t have punished Charlotte as hard because she’s a young girl. I rest my case

Even though what he did was bad and wrong, I don’t think Murphey should have been banished. He’s right. They were all compliant and even excited when he was being hung, but when it’s a little girl all bets are off.

Like Bellamy brought the whole hostage thing upon himself because he fucking tied a noose around Murphey’s throat.

Again, not that what Murphey did was right. He didn’t have to act like that. Jasper didn’t do anything to him.

Also this segment is getting long but the show writers and everyone else just casually forgot that Murphey was TORTURED? Hello? Are we not going to acknowledge that?

I shipped Clexa with my whole heart.

Another actually popular opinion: what they’ve done to Raven’s character this season is bullshit. Her only role is Abby’s moral compass. This is the same girl who shuttled to earth in a Tin Can. She’s better than this.

What the fuck??? Happened to??? Jordan???

Like Madi stabbed him

And then they proceeded to not talk about it for like four episodes and then casually mention it in passing like “oh he saved Pria that means he gets to live”

Like they set up his character to be really important this season.

But he’s not.

I think that Murphey/Emori is the best ship.

I also think that Either Murphey or Emori or Both are secretly double crossing the Primes. (This comes out before the finale of season six)

They didn’t have to do Onyia like that

The opening of season three is so weak that I actually stopped watching the show around that time (I’d been watching since the beginning of season two) because there’s just nothing there in the first like 10 minutes and I couldn’t do it.

Maybe I’m just impatient but it’s bad.

I think that Octavia did the best that she could with what she had available and I think that’s she’s not a bad person for what she did with the fighting pits/cannabalism. And I know that if Bellamy had been in her place, he would have eventually done the same.

Kane was a whiny bitch in season 5.

Why’d the kill Diyoza(I can’t spell) like that?

I liked Joesephine. It was really fun to see Eliza Taylor be able to get a new character in the show. Also props to her for that last episode with pretending to be Joesephine and being Clarke at the same time.

I called the dude being Gabriel from the first time I saw him you peasants.

Octavia’s redemption arc this season is beautiful.

They did....that.....to Kane. I’m angerey.

Lost In space

Not enough people watch this show. (The Netflix remake or the origional)

Seriously guys it’s a good show.

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it.

I love Don West with my whole heart.

I love Dr. Smith with my half heart.

I love the robot with my two hearts.

I love Penny Robinson with all the stars in the galaxy.

I love all of them okay.

There are no plot holes, no inconsistencies, no faulty science and anyone who says (or proves) otherwise is wrong.

It’s confirmed for a season two which should air in like the December-February time area.

It’s a Netflix show so you can binge the entire season in like a weekend.

Seriously watch it.

The Umbrella Academy

Five x Delores is weird.

Luther x Allison is illegal.

Klaus deserves all the push pops in the world.

The handler is hot.

The Comission killed Dave.

Luther is the most boring, Unorigional, straight white guy character I’ve seen in a long time. I hate him so much.

Allison is a queen but her character is brought down by her weird relationship with her brother.

Tbh if I was Allison you know I’d be telling my kids that I heard a rumor that theyd go the fuck to sleep. Like that’s a good thing. Idk maybe I’m just a sociopath.

Istanbul not Constantinople being played over a scene where five murders a squad of Commission people is the greatest cinematic masterpiece ever conceived by man.

“Where are you going” “to save the world” “oh is that all?” Iconic.

None of these are really unpopular but the show writers seem to think differently.

Diego has never done anything wrong in his life like yaaaasss bitch kill your brother at yo daddy’s funeral!!! Work!!!

PaTcH

AAaAHh

Big Theif - Mary is the perfect song to play over Klaus returning from Vietnam.

Will you love me, like you loved me in the January rain?

It’s up there with Goodbye July.

Speaking of Goodbye July....

Z Nation

Many people haven’t watched it

It’s like if The Walking Dead and Zombieland had a baby....and then the baby did a line of cocaine.

It’s wild.

Watching Garnet die ruined every sliver of hope I had in humanity.

I have a special place in my heart for this show because it’s the first show that me and my mom would stay up and watch the new episodes air every Friday. It brought us closer and I can’t thank the cast and show runners enough for this.

So maybe I’m biased, but you should watch it.

Having Murphey switch from being an anti-hero to a villain back to an anti-hero and then to a regular hero, amazing. Astonishing. The peak of human existence.

Even though he’s not entirely human.

What color is Murphey today? Is he pale, discolored, grey, blue, red? We don’t know!

Roberta Warren is the Black Goddess main protagonist that we deserve.

Addison Carver is a functional Bi.

10k is tragic backstory central but other than that, his character development is pretty lacking other than him persuing love interests.

None of these are really unpopular opinions but I doubt any of you have watched the show. It’s on Netflix. Watch it.

Oooooohhhhh George.

Georgia St. Clair could stomp me to death and my ghost would still want to fuck her.

Anyways I’m gay

God damn I have a lot of pent up Gay energy.

Murphey and Lucy have a realistic enstranged father/daughter relationship and it’s heartwarming.

And then they killed her off to save him.

Honestly if you name a character Murphey they can only be assholish bad boys with a good heart deep down sorry I don’t make the rules.

Also if you name a character Murphey I will love them with my whole soul.

I’m so mad they cancelled the show.

I’m infinitely more mad that they named that disgrace of a show Black Summer and claimed that it was a prequel....but it didn’t follow the same cast and had they not advertised it as a prequel I would never have guessed.

Black Summer gives totally opposite vibes than Z Nation does. I get that black summer is supposed to be the worst time that the zombie apocalypse ever had, with cannibals and no food, but it feels like s completely different show.

It’s like if The Walking Dead claimed that it is a prequel/occurs during Shaun of the Dead.

Like....no. They’re....no.

Anyway watch it it’s good.

Detroit: Become Human

Connor isn’t the best character.

This is an unpopular opinion post deal with it.

Markus has to be my favorite.

Honestly this game is so good and not even just graphics-wise.

It’s the same robotic sentience story we’ve been fed for years, but this time it’s from the Android’s perspective and this time all they want is to be free. That’s it.

I fucking hate North.

Hank is literally if Rick from Rick and Morty were serious.

The only correct way to play Connor is to walk the thin line between deviant and regular A.I. Without leaving out Hank. The correct thing to do is make Conner deviant at Jericho.

The only correct way to play Kara is to protect Alice with every fiber of your being. Meanwhile, get close to her. Do not get caught, even if that means dissappointing her.

The only correct way to play Markus is to lead a peaceful revolution. Also tell North to fuck off.

The border patrol guy who either gets Kara and Alice caught or knowingly lets Androids cross the border is the best character. Forget about Markus, this guy sees either “oh fuck androids are killing people, maybe we shouldn’t let this one cross the border” or “Androids just want to be free and are peacefully fighting for this. Let this one and her daughter through.” I love him.

LUTHER.

YES DADDY.

anyway.

Let Out The Bear He Just Wants To Say Hi :)

Even though I think Conner is overrated by the fandom, I do like him.

But he’s not a pure innocent cinnamon roll either.

It depends on how you play, but he has really violent options so stop the “He wouldn’t harm a fly” attitude.

But he is cute.

The home screen for the game is revolutionary (no pun intended) and I hope future game follow suit in making the first impression of the game something cool.

Stealing clothes/money/the fence cutters is literally okay.

Also if you put Kara in white hair you can die.

If in your first actual play through you got the Kara lives at the recycling plant ending but Alice dies, you can die too.

I’ve never actually seen the steal money and go to motel option play out because it’s stupid, especially if you don’t steal clothes. Like that’s begging to be caught.

Stranger things

Billy Hargrove is bad and just because he’s abused does not make what he does okay.

Harringrove is gross and I’m gay so my opinion counts as double.

That being said, there are some really cute fics about Harringrove and I can see the appeal of “good boy falls for mysterious bad boy with a dark past and trauma”

I’ve said I’m gay this whole post because I say it a lot, but I don’t like actually labeling myself but I like girls and boys and everything in between and I say I’m gay kinda as a joke when girls are hot.

That being said...

Steve Harrington calling himself Daddy made me feel things.

Strange things.

Haha get it I’m making a joke to distract you from the daddy part.

Steve Harrington is a good person now, but he was still an asshole before and he can still be criticized for his past.

I used to be hardcore Jancy but after season three I feel like Nancy needs and deserves a break from boys so she can figure out herself and who she is now and what she wants to do without the weight of boys and boyfriends constantly around her.

That being said i still don’t like Nancy because she was flirting/slept in the same bed with Jonathan whilst obviously having feelings for him while she and Steve were still a thing. It’s not cheating but to me it’s close enough to raise red flags.

Robin is perfect in every way.

I don’t like Jonathan. He’s creepy in s1, fine in s2, but then is s3 he doesn’t do anything to or about his male bosses when Nancy is being made fun of because she’s a woman.

Seeing Nancy’s class priveledge/Jonathan’s male priveledge clashing was so cool tbh

Elmax > Mileven > Lumax

Jim Hopper, with all his faults, is still a caring dad.

Plus him threatening Mike made me laugh so hard sksksksks

Steve Harrington deserves the world and then some.

Low key I really want s4 to give in insight on his family life.

I also want him to get an apartment with Robin.

Robins cute tbh but for half the season I though she was a Russian spy. I guess I was wrong.

Mrs. Wheeler shouldn’t sleep with billy (not that she can now) because it’s wrong, but the reason she wanted to is because her husband is so boring and she gave up on her dreams to be his perfect housewife. She wanted a challenge with Billy. Instead, she should leave her pushover of a husband and find someone better.

Anyway Steve Harrington deserves the world.

Yeah okay hate me whatever.

#Stranger Things #Stranger things 2 #Stranger things 3 #The 100 #Clarke Griffin #Bellarke #Z Nation #Roberta Warren #detroit become human #The Umbrella Academy #TUA #Hargreeves #Lost in Space #Robinsons #Will Robinson #Danger Will Robinson #Marvel #Tony Stark #MCU #Thor Odinson #Loki #Unpopular opinions

[lee-karkitty]

Still Ticklish

Pairings: Redrom Davekat

Summary: Trolls are only ticklish when they're grubs, and when Karkat finds out Dave is still ticklish, he has fun breaking the coolkid's facade.

Warnings: swearing, insincere violent threats, minor lying (tell me if I missed something!)

Taglist (lemme know if you wanna be on it): @quezq @hexalianrebel-blackfeathers

A/N: This is my first published fic. Constructive criticism is welcomed (and encouraged!), but please be nice. This is written with the idea that they have a safeword they can use for any situation at all, and Dave didn't use it in this story. Set, idk, somewhere between penis Ouija and the epilogues. I haven't finished Homestuck, so if something's wrong or ooc, that's why. Also I like the idea of Karkat being stronger than Dave, okay?; sue me.

"Nononononofuck!" Dave let out a sharp sigh as Karkat pushed him against the wall by his shoulders. Dave couldn't wipe away his smile if he tried.

"I'm still stronger than you, Strider."

"Hadn't-" Dave's voice was strained as he struggled, then gave up. "Hadn't noticed."

"Well, you keep running your damn squawk gaper like you can take me."

"Oh, I can," Dave said calmly before leaning in to kiss the troll's lips. Karkat immediately pulled away and sat back, letting go of him with a growl. Dave snickered into his hand.

"UGH, I'm gonna cut open your fucking squeal pipette- Oh, stop giggling, shitbucket."

"I wasn't giggling. I don't giggle. I've never giggled, not once ever in my entire life. It's a tragedy, really."

"Oh please, that is such a lie. I distinctly remember that you have an adorable giggle." Karkat flushed a bit saying this, thankful his skin wasn't quite as thin or as pale as a human's so it didn't show.

"Pfft. Whatever, dude." Dave turned his head, crossing his arms.

"God, could you cut the-" Karkat paused, noticing a new feature on his matesprit's face. "You're blushing."

"No, I'm not. It's hot in here." Dave swallowed.

"How many fucking times are you going to lie to me today, Strider?" Karkat asked, reaching out to poke Dave, who practically jumped out of the way. The troll raised an eyebrow in confusion and tried again. Dave stopped Karkat's hand gently this time, if a bit nervously.

Now Karkat was determined. He didn't know why Dave was acting so weird, and he didn't care. He just had to win. Out of nowhere, Karkat dove at the blond boy, tackling him onto the ground. Dave grunted as his back hit the ground.

"Wh- what are..." He paused to steady his now shaky breathing. "What are you doing, Karkat?"

In place of an answer, the troll finally poked Dave's stomach. He was rewarded with a squeak as his hands were pushed away. Karkat's eyes snapped to Dave's face, concerned. But Dave was just smiling an uncharacteristically goofy smile, his blush spreading to his ears.

"Dave, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. It just tickles," Dave mumbled, turning his head. It took Karkat a moment to process what he said.

"You're ticklish? What, like a fucking wiggler?"

"I guess?"

"You guys don't grow out of it?"

"Yeah, obviously not." Dave huffed, on the verge of pouting.

After a second, Karkat started cackling his rough, borderline feral laugh.

"Oh, shut up. Get off of me, asshole." Dave pushed Karkat off of him while he was distracted and sat up.

"Oh my god, that's fucking hilarious! You're like, 8 sweeps old and you're still ticklish!"

"Whatever, man. At least I don't flip out when someone touches my head," Dave countered, arms crossed.

That asshole was still fucking smiling. "You don't have horns, jackass! And stop acting like you're all upset; I know you're not."

Dave rolled his eyes and uncrossed his arms, leaning on his hands.

"Where else are you ticklish, Strider?" Karkat asked, still laughing. "I wanna test it." He reached toward his matesprit.

"No, fuck that." Dave swatted the troll's hand away. Karkat smirked (he smirked), using his other hand to grab Dave's side, causing him to jerk. He repeated the action a few times, and Dave fell onto the ground.

"QUIT IT"

"Fuck no." Karkat swiped the shades from the human's face and set them on the floor a few feet away. "Let's not break these."

"Wh- Give those back, asshole!" Dave squinted around to look for them. When he caught a glance and reached for them, Karkat prodded at his ribs. Dave's arm pulled back from his shades to protect himself. He shivered slightly, and he let the tiniest chirp of a laugh- a giggle- slip. His eyes snapped open and his face went red, as if it was hurrying to camouflage with his eyes. Karkat stilled his hands and grinned.

"I thought you said you didn't giggle."

"Karkat, nooo-" Dave's voice started to whine, and his face heated up more.

"I can't believe you lied to me, Dave. You're gonna regret that." Karkat climbed on top of him and sat on his hips. Dave struggled weakly, but he knew he wasn't going anywhere. He eventually resigned to turning his head, closing his eyes, and trying to hold onto Karkat's wrists.

"You're breathing pretty hard, Dave. I'm not even doing anything yet." The troll twisted his arms around to make Dave let go of them and then pinned Dave's arms beneath his knees.

"Nononoho-"

"Yes yes yes, Dave. Now, as much as I'd love to drag this out even more and keep watching your pretty face match your pretty eyes..." Karkat jabbed Dave softly in his sides and started walking his fingers up and down them, eliciting a squeak and a whine that he failed to keep from turning into another giggle.

"Stohop it, Karkat!" His voice was so strained, the troll was almost concerned he would damage his vocal chords (that's what humans called them, right?) or something. Karkat started pressing his fingers softly in the spaces between Dave's ribs, and even though he started shaking, he still refused to laugh.

"God, quit being a baby and laugh already."

"Fuhuck... yohohou. NO-" Dave's eyes snapped open and he struggled with renewed vigor as Karkat squeezed at his hips. "FUHUHUCK NO NO NO STOHOP IT"

"No. I'm not stopping until I hear it," Karkat decided. "Man, it's gotta be hell keeping all those giggles in." He switched to digging his thumbs into his hipbones, careful not to pierce skin. He was trying to kill him.

"SHUT THE FUCK UHUHUP" Dave's face was bright red as he finally lost the last bit of control he had over himself. His laugh was so happy and airy. His cool kid facade was beyond broken, and despite his protests, he looked like he was enjoying himself. Oh lord, and he snorted? How the fuck was Karkat expected to stop when he was this cute?

"CAN'T- CAHAN'T BREATHE, K- SHIHIHIHIHIHIT" Dave spluttered after a few more minutes. So Karkat finally let up (he did have some mercy) and realized he had been laughing as well. Dave's smile didn't flatten itself out again. Like, not at all. Shit was adorable. Karkat sat up, and Dave took his arms back, sitting back up again. A few stray giggles escaped every few seconds.

"I seem to remember someone claiming they didn't giggle a while ago. That someone was you, Dave. You said you didn't giggle."

"Okahay, yeah, fine, whatever, I giggle. So what? It's not-"

"Come on; it was adorable!"

"Shut up."

"... You're still blushing, yanno. And smiling."

"Fuck off, Karkat," Dave laughed, shoving his boyfriend.

"Are you trying to go again?"

#ler!karkat #lee!dave #lee!davestrider #ler!karkatvantas #homestuck tickling #tickle blog #tickle fic #homestuck tickle fic #davekat #davekat fic #davekat tickle fic #hmmmm #tickle writer #ticklish!davestrider #fuck idk #homestuck fluff #davekat fluff #my very own writing

[tongue-tied-ties]

I finally got through all 200,000 words of that freaking epilogue and GOD HAVE MERCY I SHOULD HAVE WENT CANDY AND THEN MEAT.

Overall though, I like it. I like it alot! I mean there are some things I feel weird about which like.......aren’t the things everyone else feels weird about apparently.

SPOILERS BELOWWWWW~!!!!

So it’s alot easier to get out of the way what I am weirded out about than to explain the many things I did like. 

- I feel weird about the xenophobia thing and how it’s being treated. Like it’s being treated like a huge issue but like non-issue all at once?? I guess that’s because from John’s perspective he’s just too busy being weirded out or suffering to truly get involved. Like I sincerely hope nobody on the team thinks standing by in a situation like this is a valid stance in any way. But it also happens in real life so like, I get it. I think this bothers me because these kids were heroes. But also they were heroes out of necessity and because they were main characters. Like that’s honestly it. They had a mission and fulfilled it and they were hailed as heroes.

- Hussie presenting xenophobia as both a joke and a serious issue and sometimes it’s hard to tell what position the comic is trying to take which makes me uncomfortable. 

- I think it’s in character, but I hate that Karkat alone had to defend himself every time Jane was being the #worstTM. I hate that Roxy just standing by knowing good and well these are the stakes every single time was never fully addressed. I wish somebody sat our beautiful bae Roxy to let them know that like this is shitty too?? Like you saying this is simply politics when a literal extinction is happening is shitty why didn’t anyone tell them that in stone cold, super serious terms for the love of GOD it bothered me so much. 

- Alright anytime Dirk used any sort of like reddit NiceGuy Are you triggeredTM 4-chan bullshit language it turned me all the way off. Like incel, beta, cuck?? Misgendering our void icon?? Yea. Cancelled but also not cancelled because I haven’t been this shook or excited over a villain in so long.

- Gamzee. Just...yikes all around. I’m not sure how I feel.

- JAKE DESERVED BETTER. HE REALLY FREAKING DID JUST SAYING. JAKE DIDNT DESERVE THIS MADNESS. Omfg i never hated anyone as much as I did Dirk when he snapped Jake’s psyche in half forcing him to love Dirk. It was so fucking iconic though and I’m still mad y’all. So many feelings. Oh god and when Jane like........did him wrong?? What le fuck? Jake i’ll be your friend, come here mate. Please let me hug my boi who I didn’t stan before but i stan now.

- Those kids.....I love those kids give them a good future, please. I’m begging hussie let John be a good father.

- I think the kids grew because they were with each other, and they fact they didn’t stay together and let each other be isolated kinda makes this make sense to me but it does feel like with some characters the growth went out the window. But also....people can regress especially if they stop after like one epiphany or whatever, so I see how this happened.

- Dave redirecting what should have been the core political issue (freaking extinction/controlled population of exclusively the trolls) to the economy every single time. Like Dave baby you were never the most racially sensitive dude (coming from a black girl who watched you say negrocity, call black people not shining shoes revolutionary (which could be read as irony in context but still) in the same rap, which, YIKES!) but like try please?? Hussie freaking fix this.

- I oddly feel weird about them getting rid of their flesh bodies for their ultimate forms and I’m not sure why but I honestly don’t want all bots. I can’t even explain that in a way that makes sense.

- Jade. Like....everything she did was a big yikes and honestly I’m reading the main story again to see if there was a character trait that led to her behavior. Cuz Dirk literally always had an overbearing personality and it was never truly addressed leading to what happened. Jane never really stopped with the whole business and control thing and she never really seemed to care for the trolls one way or another so I can kinda see it.

- Honestly?? I’m happy for the form of happiness that some characters had but MAN was it just the slowest most excruciating march towards that end. In candy, it felt like I was literally feeling John’s twilight-zone stir-crazy rise up in me as I read through. I think a “benefit” from reading Meat first is that like.....damn I ended up agreeing with Dirk. Like all of this shit was largely avoided and addressed sooner when Dirk was in charge and I hate/love that I’m saying this! Like what the hell y’all that's so brilliant to me. In Meat, I just.....wanted them to be free to make their own choices and when I was nearing the end in Candy, I realized they weren’t so damn isolated and I was happy that some of them finally got to heal.

To segue into I liked it starts on the same point my dislikes end.

 - I felt so frustrated by everything that was happening which.....dear God is great writing because if I was John feeling this for years instead of the solid day it took me to get through Candy I’d be handling it way worse than John. I almost wished that Dirk would come in and take charge because they were just.....fucking up on every level. With Meat, I wanted what was in Candy and I wanted them to have their fucking free will to choose instead of these awful circumstances Dirk forced them to be in.

- DAVE. DAVE. DAVE. Fuck I love dave just so much, he felt the most home to me the entire time. When he fought back in Meat to make his own choices I was so proud of him. When he decided to join the revolution I was proud of him, when he finally admitted he was gay I was proud of him. When he just existed and seriously thought about what he wanted and needed to work through he felt like he authentically was trying to figure himself out the entire time in both Meat and Candy and I was so proud of him. Honestly will always have my heart.

- NUBS MCSHOUTY. From awkward bottom to rebel leader he is just a breath of fresh air every time he speaks because it is always a freaking mood. LIke yes, the extinction of your people is awful and you should say it. Yes, people who stand by and just sidetrack the conversation into semantics is awful and you should freaking say it. Yes! Yes! Yes! omfg. YOU ABSOLUTE FREAKING ICON

- Dirk. I.....ugh I know this is controversial but I love everything that happened. Our Dear walking God complex becomes literal God and it all goes to hell. Our friend the control freak, controlling the narrative when he reaches his ultimate form. Ou dear Dirk who always needs something to fix horribly fixes the narrative. When he revealed himself and said “but you already know that don’t you” in his iconic yellow text color me FREAKIN SHOOK. Like literary reveal of the gods (specifically this god ha). Nothing will shake me the same holy shit I was horrified and the horror never stopped. Omfg shook Dirk just freaking shook. So since I read meat first I was like “holy cow was he always like this?” But like, the one dirk that was decent freaking killed himself with his last wish being for relevance and like.....of course he’s like this?? It’s Hal, Caliborn, ARDirk, Brain Ghost Dirk and Dirk One who honestly was only half decent most of the time. All of these pretentious beings in one? Oh yea edge lord self masturbatory train dead ahead. AND I LOVED IT, the absolute fear and horror as he took the narrative back from Calliope was horrifying, his increasing disdain after the reveal, the moment he forced Jake to fuck everything up for the resistance was ICONIC oh my god I was so here. I was loving it so much I was scared I was being controlled by Dirk.

- Jake was always passive and like.....it manifested so bad. I mean I thought he stepped up when he finally, defeated the felt crew but like....of course, one battle isn’t going to solve a lifetime of posing and passivity. I don’t know why I never considered the horrible implications. I do wish he grew a full spine in one of the epilogues.

- Regardless of how I perceived her in canon, Epilogue!Jane was never painted as a hero ever. THANK GOD cuz Epilogue Jane is doing some really bad stuff.

- Roxy - our voidey babe exploring their gender identity and deciding in both that they don’t care for their assignment in some way, valid. Having all stages of their identity and the stages respected (in what I viewed as a great and fully addressed way as a cis black girl) is surprisingly refreshing when I look at Roxy alone and not the transphobic stuff Dirk was doing which was icky and Caliborn-ish.

- Rose and Kanaya being happy in Candy. Like it seemed so OOC but Rose also was literally dealing with something that ENTIRE TIME. When she was little it was the alcoholism of her mother, when she was in paradox space it was from horror demons to literal death, to life-threatening situations to being the seer she needed, to her own substance problem etc etc. Being non-essential freed her from that and we got to witness her still be the badass, freedom fighter she became. And I just love the thing she chose without needing to, without absolute necessity, was to raise their daughter AND fully immerse themselves in troll revolution against an oppressive regime. Fuck yes Rose, you deserve some fucking peace without debilitation or circumstance. Rose in Meat shall never be spoken of because that is so so so sad honestly. She was dying and like...Dirk took advantage of that which is tactically freaking genius considering Rose is usually who can pull these dorks together into action but damn Dirk.

- Fuck you know what I’m gonna say it. Dirk is the best villain holy shit he is honestly, truly smart and manipulative and somehow charming in this sick sick way God I hate/love him right now. I’m.....omfg still shook.

- I honestly just loved how intertwined it is, how twilight-zone/gritty it felt. Every literary craving I didn’t know I was having was fed and in the best/worst way. I’m hooked and here for wherever this is going. Also, I typed it above and I’ll type it again. I didn’t realize it but these kids, while they ascended as Gods were not heroes. I don’t think the kids really cared about their denizens much ever in canon. They fulfilled their mission and we handed them the hero stamp because we’ve followed their story. They are simply people who had a mission to fulfill and did that mission in whatever capacity you choose. They are ultimately really flawed human beings who were traumatized to hell and back with no real devices on how to deal with it properly. Of course, when you give flawed humans God powers, a world to rule over and nobody really holding anyone accountable bad things are bound to happen. They grew because they were in a situation where they had to and they were removed too soon for them to keep that growth. Fanfic or not, canon or not, essential or not, I think these are valid outcomes, within the context of who they are.

#upd8 #upd8 spoilers #rose lalonde #homestuck roxy #calliope #homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #jade harley #john egbert #roxy lalonde #jake english #jane crocker #long post

[kcllmongers]

We putting in our 2 cents? Hold my beer. 

Ahem. 

I come in peace. I want to have a genuine conversation with anyone who wants to agree or disagree because of well...growth lmao. I’m not going to rant or shade. There’s two things I want to talk about. 

1) Why do y’all care so much about this bitch who plays multiple characters (when you niggas do the same. don’t front) 

2) Why not take advantage of this thing called a delete button? 

First thing’s first. We can’t talk about niggas being sensitive when y’all sensitive y’allselves. It’s just a different type of sensitive. Not the delete and post unfollow but the “I’ma rant in my mentions all day” sensitive. Hate to break it to you but that’s being sensitive. You are responding passionately to someone’s comment on you, your development or you’re expressing how you feel about something. Shit I'm being sensitive rn because I really could've kept my mouth shut but I have feelings about stuff. 

Dipping after causing a mess is being sensitive because well, like many pointed out, you caused it and knew what you were doing so don’t post your unfollow after causing a disturbance. Fuck it and move on, tf? You thought exposing IMs, calling someone ugly, saying you’re slap them all of that WOULDN’T cause a problem? People pick out these FCs and go into this with failing muse already after the first week and it doesn’t help when someone wants to randomly slap you or if you’re called ugly. Personally? I’d laugh and move on but some people are different and you can't be mad at that. Just like we learned and grew from our experiences, we need to let the new comers do that. If you got some dope plots, good development, and having fun then fuck the sensitive bitches you’re talking about and keep it pushing. 

Let me skip to number 2. This is all fake, which we can all agree. This community started as an escape for alot of people and still is. We’re grown now. You’d think with bills, rent, jobs and now new relationships we know how to handle things like adults. The only person controlling your good time is YOU. I’ve stopped giving a fuck what people say about my characters, to my characters on anon because this is all fake. I’m not really the person I’m playing and I have a slim understanding of the whole I  “I'm working hard to play this so the anons are annoying” shit but none of that will matter come the next rp. And if you get that discouraging anon. DELETE IT. You literally have the power to delete the hate and to make them feel small. Turn off your anons, ignore it. I’ve enjoyed my time in rps way more when I don’t respond to anons even if it’s with a funny comeback, meme, gif or whatever. But you know the minute you answer 1 of them hoes, 5 more come up so why continue to do pay pussy bitches any mind? Why make the admins mad when they tell you to stop posting them? I wish I could delete racism, homophobia, colorists, slut shaming, rapists, murderers, shit I want to delete the president of this here country but the beauty of this community is that you can literally come here and delete the toxicity away. Be somebody different and not you. But you niggas choose not to and say people are ‘ruining’ things. No. No one is forcing you to answer or do anything you don’t want to. We have full control of these keyboards and if you get a hate anon? Fuck em and keep doing you sis. Period. Now, going into number 1. This is long so strap in.

I said the only person controlling your good time is YOU. This is an anonymous platform all around. Its not just that anon button. On Tumblr you can have real blogs with your face but in an rp realm its your fave as your avi correct? In WC its your fave correct? Fake aliases and all sis. I’ve been on the phone with some people a few times and there’s only ONE person who’s ever seen my face in the 8 years I've been doing this and ive seen theirs. Now, many of you are closer and know names, locations and all of that. That’s cool and fine but some people don’t want to do that. But even then, how do you really know who is who with all these FCs and platforms? Because your friend said so? That don’t mean shit. It’s scary and it’s even scarier when maybe you’re surrounded by the same bitch in different FCs but stressing out over this person who does this is just a waste of your time and has to be the biggest downfall in this community since that shitty ass blackout that nobody took seriously. Good times but it wasn't hard to figure out photoshop. Anyways. Everyone has their assumptions and honestly who knows the truth? What are we looking at. Typing patterns? plot similarities? FC usages? I mean come on. This is the most vague evidence ever and I know niggas were full of shit when they were saying who this bitch was turns out it wasn’t even them. I knew niggas were full of shit when at point I heard my character was apparently this bitch and it’s just like...naw lmao. My limit might be TWO and honestly I only get the second if it’s a FC I really wanted and eventually the other one dies off but talking to myself? Smutting with myself? 3 WCs? It makes me chuckle at the thought of people thinking I even had the time. I don’t even want to talk to other people sometimes and you think I’m going back and forth between a computer/phone or whatever to do that? Nobody knows me but if y’all did it would be laughable too. I’m so god damn lazy it’s not even funny but listen if there’s a bitch that does that in this community...let them. What does that have to do with you? They’re ruining your development? Your good time? WRONG. 

 Worry about you. Your character and your shit is all that should matter so you can take pride in it when you’re done. Not the hours spent figuring out who is who. You could be thinking its the bitch and it’s actually one of your friends and Ive seen it happen. So what it’s the same plots? People develop differently. We still got CBs with anger problems, Dave Easts who move bricks, Rihannas who don’t drop music or act boujee as hell, Saweeties who act ghetto and so on. Y’all FCs act exactly how they usually do ooc and no one bats an eyelash until it’s someone they don’t know doing it. We all based our characters on real like shit they doing. It’s why we choose the characters because of their resources and development. Same with playing multiple characters. I’ve watched y’all sit and pick out MULTIPLE FCs for new rps but nooooooooooooooooooo let’s blow the sirens for this one girl who’s single handedly bringing down he community right? You’re blaming the downfall on ONE person at this point and it’s laughable because who’s at fault for this shit right now? And don’t say sensitive people because we just spoke about this lmao.

And honestly, if this bitch is that irritating. And you feel it in your core that it’s her. Just tell them straight up. I've done it. I get word that it’s most likely them, they do some funny shit and I dead it. Open our plot, cut off connections. Nope. It’s just not me and with the stories I can’t be bothered with he mess. It’s that easy. you literally have the power at your finger tips to better this community by deleting anons, blocking the bitches you can’t trust and just simply telling someone no. But you guys choose to entertain anons or the people in your IMs asking for smut then go to WC and complain. Your next IM shouldn't be sliding into the pussy or on the dick but should be “I'm good luv, enjoy” they’ll get the message. If not, use your words and say you don’t want to. I’ve done it and it was smooth sailing. But you keep replying and actually fuck???????? But still complain?????? 

In conclusion, I feel like we all play a part in how this community is right now. It’s not just one bitch, it’s not just a group of people. It’s not the sensitivity. It’s everyone. It was me at one point trail blazing through the tags. I owned up to it. But I really just chill and rock with something until it dies. There’s a person that hates this blog, I know they hate this blog because we butted heads and turns out they’re my favorite person I’ve ever got the chance to plot and connect with. And I wanted to tell them I was the blog but it just goes to show shit can run smoothly even when people have different opinions. I don’t agree with alot of shit but ranting, anons and all of that won’t do anything. It’ll just leave a bad taste in the tag. 

SO. With that being said, I open the floor to any disagreements. Agreements? Wanna discuss something you didn’t like? Let’s have a conversation rather than yell at eachother. It just makes everyone mad. 

#urban rpg #urban rp #━━ 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 ; 𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎. ≫ #━━ 𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐃 ; 𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜. ≫

[thaumaturtles]

Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

 A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase  “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I��ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #epilogues #epilogue spoilers #tw rape mention #i really felt roxy's hesitance to come out because i also feel like this sometimes? i'm not too sure what i really id as #and any degree of introspection makes me feel pretty guilty #like im already bi why do i need to be genderweird too #that was a lil too personal so i didnt put it in the main post #also im definitely gonna make more posts about this im not even close to being done talking #long post

[inquisitivewordsmith]

Messy Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues

The Writing Gods made it so I don’t work tonight. So, here are my messy thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya, and SPOILERS FOR BOTH AFTER THE CUT

* So, overall, I actually liked them. Actually, this is probably the most invested I’ve been in any Homestuck thing in a while. The Snapchats didn’t do much for me, and Hiveswap was cute, but again, it didn’t really grab me. Side note: I should actually finish up episode one. I wanted to do it for 4/13, but I got busy. Maybe I can play a bit tonight? 

* I think I probably enjoyed the John segments the most. I don’t want to delve too much into my life, but I could kind of relate to some of the stuff he went through. Depression, regrets, the occasional existential crisis, etc. 

* Speaking of that, the Epilogues actually addressed a lot of stuff I was disappointed the ending and everything leading right up to it just kind of handwaved. John’s depression, Terezi’s unhealthy attachment to Vriska, Jake being constantly used and abused (and *gasp* someone actually showing concern for him), Vriska’s lack of development because John ended up saving her, seeing the actual fight from Caliborn’s Masterpiece. Some of it is still not perfect (Tavros), but I was surprised at how a lot of my concerns or doubts actually got addressed. Like I hinted before, this felt vindicating. 

* Honestly, Dirk becoming the villain didn’t surprise me that much. It was one of those aspects that was built up in the story proper that we didn’t really see much. And now reading about him fusing with his other selves and the whole Ultimate Self thing, it makes so much sense, too. I do feel for the people that got invested in him, though, particularly when Dave reassures him that he’s not a villain. 

* Jane seemed like more of a reach as another villain, but I’ll be honest, I was never really that invested in her character, so I wasn’t that broken up about it. I mean, she was kind of raised as the heiress of an evil corporation, and she never experienced the consequences of such organization the way Dirk and Roxy did, so it sort-of makes sense. Again, my sincere sympathies for those that felt bonded to her. 

* Speaking of that, the only bit of “OOC”ness that kinda bugged me was Roxy being so complacent over what Jane was doing. I mean, Dirk had his reasons for doing what he was doing, but Roxy should know exactly what a Crocker empire looks like. I get that was one of John’s worries and it fueled his doubts over whether Roxy was “real” or not, but still. Not a dealbreaker, though. 

* Actually, I’m surprisingly cool with where a lot of characters ended up, even if it wasn’t pretty or ideal. I guess it’s kind of a more realistic take on where a lot of the characters would end up. I don’t think it’s inherently dark, “edgy”, or nihilistic, just kind of...there. Not everyone grows up to be great people, and as you grow up, your view of the world can get darker and more cynical. That doesn’t mean you HAVE to be cynical, but I guess a lot of people reacted in shock due to the massive change between regular HS and the Epilogues. Even if HS always had some darker or sexier moments, it was nothing compared to this. I felt the shock myself, but I didn’t feel it was bad or anything. 

* Of course, that doesn’t mean I thought the Epilogues were perfect, either. There are some personality changes that I thought were kind of a stretch. Killing off WV and ignoring the other major Carapacians and sprites (besides Davepetasprite) seemed like a needless gesture to make it more “adult”. And as much as I am genuinely invested in the story and where it goes next, I’m also annoyed at the obvious sequel bait. I mean, you could assume it’s an “And the adventure continues..” kind of deal, but I think the letters John left in the Meat timeline were way too specific not to warrant follow-up. 

* The one element I genuinely loved was the dialogue, though. A lot of it felt very Homestuck. Dave and Karkat had a lot of great dialogue. So did John and Rose, but they didn’t really get to interact that much. 

* Which Epilogue did I enjoy the most? I dunno, I’m kind of leaning more towards Meat, but I’ll have to reread it. There’s a lot of events that I like in both, though. Like, I’m iffy on Davebot and would prefer Dave and Karkat together, but I’m also so damn glad to see Karkat as a rebel leader flourishing as the badass he always was. Also, the hilarity of Meenah co-leading the rebellion. Roxy’s whole plot in Meat was also so interesting, but so was her talk to John near the end of Candy. I also really liked the little we saw of the kids (Harry Anderson, Vriska Lalonde, Tavros Crocker/English). Ugh, it’s hard to choose. 

* I’ll have to reread Meat at some point, though, to catch on some stuff I didn’t before. Like, I only just found out that Meat Calliope was drawing (Vriska) and Gamzee’s disgusting make out session, which I didn’t notice back then. Also, the fact that both Johns ended up interacting with the same Terezi. If Terezi had her conversations with Candy John first, then met up with Meat John, it would explain why she grew that attached to him despite not spending much time with him. It was kind of fun reading Meat first and seeing how everything there affected Candy. 

* I guess that’s all. There’s tons more I want to talk about (Jade, Rose and Kanaya, Gamzee’s entire role, etc.), but I think I got enough. DM me if you’re curious about my thoughts on those, I guess.  

Just a few questions:

* Did anyone else get a post-credit vibe from both postscripts? 

* Didn’t Eridan already apologize to Feferi? Or was that from the Game Over timeline? I genuinely don’t remember. 

* Where the fuck was Equius this whole time? Even Nepeta got to be the butt of Karkat’s jokes (again). 

#iw's thoughts #homestuck #homestuck epilogue #upd8

[cowboy-crimez]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Umbrella Academy (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves Characters: Diego Hargreeves, Number Five, Eudora Patch, Chuck Beaman, brief Klaus Hargreeves, brief Vanya Hargreeves, Mentions of Allison Luther and Ben Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, No Apocalypse, Trans Character, child!Five, he is a Teenager, maybe a bit ooc but hey the charter of rights promises me liberty and i'm taking it, Coming Out, Time Skips Summary:

eudora and beaman are surprised to find out diego has a kid; they're more surprised when they see what their relationship is like

The first thing that tips Eudora off that something weird is happening, is the fact that Diego is wearing a tie. Not just some shoddy clip-on tie, or one that he clearly borrowed from some other detective, like when he has to give a testimony on the stand, but an actual hand tied tie.

The second thing is his absolutely foul mood.

“Jesus, what’s got your panties in a bunch?” Beaman asks after Diego snatches a cup of coffee from him. His question makes Diego scowl more. Surprisingly, instead of just telling him to fuck off, he actual answers.

“I have to go to this bullshit interview with my kid’s principal because my smartass of a son has behavioural issues, which I already fucking knew, and I told them last time I had to go to a parent-teacher interview, I said, ‘He doesn’t like other kids, he won’t do class participation, he’s not going to play games with other kids, he just wants to sit down and learn and read and then go home’ and they said, ‘Oh, Mr. Hargreeves, I’m sure that’s not true, we can get him out of his shell!’. Well! He’s out of his fucking shell now and he’s telling other kids that they’re fucking dumbasses!” Diego seethes, jaw tensing more and more as he goes on.

Eudora and Beaman stare at him, jaws dropping. Diego takes a breath.

Eudora clears her throat. “I didn’t know you had a kid.” Beaman nods in agreement.

Diego looks at them. “He came in like two weeks ago with my brother to give me my house keys.”

They both cast their memory back, trying to remember if either of them had seen a kid with Diego’s eyes, or hair, or mouth, or skin tone. The only kid they remember seeing Diego with was a pale boy with brown hair, who seemed to be mouthing off to an annoyed Diego. The kid came in with Klaus, and given the stories, she heard of him, and their similar colouring, she has presumed that the kid was his or Dave’s. In retrospect, Eudora guesses the kid and Diego had similar noses.

“Oh,” she says. “Well, uh good luck, I guess.”

Diego nods, grabs his coffee and stalks back to his desk.

--

Eudora doesn’t feel as bad that she didn’t know that Diego had an entire child without her knowing, once she realizes that nothing about him or his workspace advertises the fact.

He has no pictures of anyone at his desk - not even his mom, and Eudora knows how much he loves her - much less any pictures of him and his kid at a baseball game or birthday party. His wallet is sans photos as well; she knows because once she had to dig through it to find a ten dollar bill to pay for some take out they ordered on a night shift. Even his phone screen is just a default black.

The only thing that could possibly point towards the fact that he’s a father is his phone calls when he’s working late.

The Captain is really breathing down everyone's necks to get the crime stats in, and after a brief server crash that erased twenty minutes worth of work for everyone, he’s screaming that everyone is staying an extra three hours to get them back on track. It’s already six, so people groan and start to call and text their significant others and kids that they’ll be late for dinner or bedtimes.

Eudora sees Diego roll his eyes once the Captain goes back to his office, before digging his phone out of his pocket. Usually, he’ll go and walk outside to make phone calls, but he must be feeling tired today because he stays seated.

Eudora hates feeling nosy, but she figures, I’m a detective, and Diego is sometimes a partner, so she should know this about him right?

He clicks on a contact, then puts his phone to his ear.

“Hey,” He says, voice neutral, “I’m gonna be home late tonight. Hm? No, it’s just work stuff. Listen, there’s leftovers in the fridge from last night, if you’re still hungry after you’ve had that then you can order a pizza or something. If I find an empty pizza box and the leftovers, I swear to god, I’m feeding you plain mashed potatoes for a month. I should be back home before you’re asleep, but I’ll let you know if I get held up anymore. Make sure you do your home- oh, you’re already done? Okay, good job. Okay, see you later. Wait! I just remembered that you’re grounded… uh…. If you watch tv, make sure it’s off by the time I get home so that I can pretend that you’re actually being punished. Oh, you do that anyway? Great. Okay, bye.” He hangs up, slips his phone back into the pocket of his leather jacket, and goes back to staring at a report he’s trying to type up.

Curiosity takes over Eudora.

“So, uh, that was your kid?” She asks, leaning over to talk to him.

Diego nods, “Yup.”

“You have a son, right?”

“Uh huh.”

She waits for a follow up that never comes.

“What his name?”

“Five.” He squints at some writing, before backspacing and retyping a line. Eudora blinks.

“His name… is Five?”

“Yeah, he refuses to go by anything else.”

Eudora nods again slowly. “How old is he?”

“He’s fourteen but he acts like he’s a fucking twenty seven year old business major with the attitude that he’s got.”

Eudora furrows her eyebrows. Fourteen? Diego turned thirty less than a year ago. That means he had the kid - got someone pregnant! - when he was sixteen, maybe fifteen. She leans back into her chair.

“Oh.” She says, suddenly understanding why Diego never barged into work showing everyone new baby photos like Martinez from I.T. did a few months ago. Why he doesn’t go around showing off awards or certificates that Five has won. She gets why he doesn’t have any photos of a young kid on his shoulders at his desk, or why he doesn’t go around bragging about his son’s - Five’s - accomplishments.

A lot of people their age have kids, yes, but only around the ages of five or six, maybe even if they started a family early. Baby pictures of Five would also be high school pictures of Diego. To Eudora’s knowledge, Diego is single and has been for at least a few years. He was single when he entered the police academy too, when he was twenty-one, too.

Five’s mom probably isn’t in the picture, hell, maybe she never was in the picture, to begin with.

Eudora made a lot of mistakes with people at sixteen, but never one that resulted in a kid.

She looks over at Diego, still squinting at the screen and typing away, and more than anything feels sympathy for him.

Still, she thinks, turning back to her own work, it’s a bit sad that he seems to ignore the fact that he has a kid when he’s at work.

--

It’s three weeks later when Beaman looks up from his desk and sees a kid walking towards Diego. He’s wearing a school uniform, knee socks and all, and looks incredibly bored. He has a backpack on but is still carrying a notebook in his hands.

He makes his way to Diego’s turned back, raises his notebook, and lets it drop to the ground. It lands with a loud SMACK that makes every cop in a two-metre radius jump. Diego isn’t an exception, with the way he jerks around, hand finding his holster.

When he sees the kid, he sighs.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?”

The kid shrugs, before leaning down and picking the notebook up. He takes off his backpack then puts the notebook into the bag.

Diego looks at the clock on his computer. “We have a few minutes, let me finish this then we can get going, okay, Five?”

The kid groans, but nods, dropping his backpack at Diego’s feet and stalking off towards the kitchenette.

Beaman wheels his chair over and asks, “Who’s the kid?”

“Five,” Diego replies, “My son.”

Beaman sputters, before managing an “Oh, okay.” and returning to his desk.

After a few minutes, Diego, seeming satisfied with his work, logs off the computer and starts to gather his things. Five returns with a paper cup that steaming.

Diego glares, “I told you not to drink any more coffee today.”

“Yeah, well, you also told me not to drink alcohol and yet somehow I know how to make a margarita.”

Diego sighs pinches the bridge of his nose, and says, “Just pick up your shit and let’s go.”

Five grabs his backpack, before hastily walking out.

--

“You know, I saw Diego’s son today,” Beaman tells Eudora in the breakroom later, “He was… something else.”

Eudora nods, “They don’t really look related, do they?”

“No, not really. I mean, I guess they have similar noses, but that’s about it.”

Eudora takes a sip of her tea. “He’s… older than I would have thought.”

“Yeah,” Beaman lets out a whistle, “Diego must’ve had him young.”

“He really doesn’t seem like the parenting type, does he?”

“That he does not.” Beaman thinks about Diego’s remarks to Five before leaving.

They both nod, feeling vaguely guilty about talking about Diego’s parenting behind his back, before finding a new topic to talk about.

The next day, they don’t bring up Five to Diego.

--

Vanya doesn’t dislike Five, in fact, she loves him dearly, would be willing to put down her life for him if he needed it. Five has made her life better in many ways; his existence helped her and Diego’s relationship immensely, him always wanting her to teach him how to read music, how to play the piano or violin has made her a better teacher, and she loves watching him light up as he gets carried away on some tangent about math, or physics or space. Overall, Vanya can’t imagine her life without Five being somewhere in the background.

It’s just.

He listens to her even less than he listens to Diego, which already, isn’t a lot.

She supposes that’s to be expected. Diego is Five’s dad, the highest authority the kid recognizes besides his own, which means that all his aunts and uncles fall below that.

Klaus doesn’t mind the fact that Five never listens to him or Dave, in fact, Vanya thinks he enjoys basically being equals with the fourteen-year-old. Five only listens to Ben occasionally, since Ben can usually use reason to convince Five one way or the other. Sometimes Five listens to Allison, the new(er) mom able to appeal to the childlike tendencies that Five tries to pretend don’t exist. Anything Luther says Five ignores on principle, a fact that brings a smile to Diego’s face.

But, Vanya? She knows that Five respects her authority more than other aunt or uncle - that doesn’t mean he likes her more though, she has learned over time. He just respects her more.

She thinks it’s because she always tried to listen to him when he was younger. She never tried to speak over him or dismiss him outright. She didn’t want him to feel like she did.

When Five was really young, he used to sneak into her bedroom when it was supposed to be his nap time. The naps were partially for Five, and partially to give Diego time to get out all the aggression he couldn’t let out around a kid.

Five would watch as Vanya practiced the violin, or sit on her lap as she read, or sometimes actually nap on her bed while she studied.

Not much has changed, considering she comes home to her apartment some nights, to find Five asleep on her couch.

“You cannot keep breaking into my apartment!” She says, making tea for both of them, waiting for Diego to come to pick Five up. He sounded annoyed over the phone, no longer surprised by Five’s antics but still irritated by them.

“So long as you continue to leave your windows unlocked, I certainly can.”

“I live on the second floor!"

“Rapists can climb!”

Vanya closes her eyes and breathes through her nose. She grabs the cups of tea and brings them over to the coffee table.

“Why did you even come over, Five? It’s late, it’s cold, I know that it takes at least forty minutes on the bus. Why did you come all the way over here?” Maybe it’s a by-product of literally growing up with him - albeit in a very different stage of development - that made Vanya so attuned with Five. She never had to pull the parent card, like Diego did (he was the only one who felt comfortable doing that as a teenager), and she never felt comfortable to just ‘become friends’ with Five, as Klaus and Ben did. She didn’t distance herself or wait for Diego to beg her for help to start a relationship with Five. She’s really, not that she wants to admit it, the closest thing to a normal aunt that Five has.

Five looks at his lap and in a soft voice, he said, “I got into another fight at school and Diego had to pick me up. He was really angry and he yelled at me in the car, and then I yelled back, and then he had to go back to work.” Five’s voice gets impossibly quieter, “I felt really bad and I didn’t want to have to see him right away when he was done work. So I came here.”

Vanya looks at Five’s hunched over figure. Sometimes she forgets how young he is, how young Diego is to have him. She moves over to sit next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, Five, I get that. But you can’t keep leaving home without calling or leaving a note. Diego worries about you, and when he worries, so do I. And regardless what you may believe - or may want to believe - Diego is your father and does think a lot like you,” she can see Five rolling his eyes. “He’ll understand if you let him."

Fifteen minutes later Diego is waiting at the door as Vanya gives Five a hug goodbye. She gives Diego a look before he leaves, and tells him to drive safe.

Vanya doesn’t know if her speech had any effect on Five, or if she helped the situation at all. All she knows is that from then on, Five texts her letting her know that he’s climbing the fire escape to break in.

--

Diego gets a knee to the chest and what’s probably a broken rib a few weeks later. This is on top of the stab wound to his shoulder. Eudora finishes up with the arrests, before going over to the ambulance that he’s sitting in, watching as he winces trying to get his shirt over his head.

“Got a new scar to add to the collection?” She jokes, seeing the paramedic laying out tools, getting ready to stitch Diego up.

Diego finally pulls his shirt all the way off, groaning as he brings his arms back down, “Oh yeah, you know me, can never get enough.”

Eudora laughs before her eyes fall to Diego’s chest. Two symmetrical scars lay underneath his pectorals, only just slightly paler than the rest of his skin.

“When did you get those ones?” She jerks her chin towards his chest. He looks down and seems a bit embarrassed when he looks back up.

“Uh, got them before the academy, way earlier.” Eudora wants to follow up but then sees him tense as the paramedic starts to disinfect the wound, letting him know that the first stitch will come any second.

She always finds it funny that Diego will brush off a stabbing or a bullet wound like it’s nothing, but even mentioning needles will make him pale.

“Hey, so uh, will Five be worried about you?” She asks, figuring that there’s no better way to distract Diego than to get him to talk about his son.

Diego snorts. “Five? No way, he’ll probably make fun of me for being too slow to dodge a knife.”

Eudora hums, pretending like that’s a normal response. “What was he like when he was young?”

The paramedic is starting the first stitch, and Diego’s face gets pinched. “He was a fucking angel as a baby. Quiet, didn’t cry, ate his food. Didn’t last long though, turned into a demon as soon as he could walk and talk. Sometimes I think that he’s making up for lost time by being mouthy now.”

Eudora’s about to ask another question and is surprised when he continued unprompted.

“You know, a lot of parents say things like, ‘I loved my kid the moment they were born’, or even before they were born. My dad, he… well, I didn’t want a kid at sixteen, I mean, who the fuck does? But, I was acting out, and I was angry at that age, and he thought that going through with it would be the ultimate punishment and the ultimate lesson in responsibility. So, even though I didn’t want Five, I had him. And the whole time leading up to his birth, I was thinking, ‘I can love him when I hold him, I’ll love him as soon as I set eyes on him’, and then he was born and I held him and I just. I don’t know. I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t hate him for ruining my life, but I also didn’t love him. I feel guilty as fuck about that now, but I was sixteen, I had to quit my swim team to take care of this kid, I had to quit archery and track, I couldn’t go out to parties anymore, none of my friends wanting to hang out with me, and my siblings didn’t know how to treat me anymore, all my time I was just looking after this thing that didn’t even look like me. But as he got older - as we both got older - I guess I learned how to love him. And I really do love him, I would do anything for him now.”

The paramedic is almost done with the stitches, and Diego looks just about ready to faint.

“I just, I wish I had him at a better time. I wish I could have loved him from the beginning. I think he knows that I didn’t love him at first.” The paramedic ties off the last stitch. “I think that he’ll always hate me because of that.”

Before Eudora can say anything else, Diego’s eyes roll back as he faints. The paramedic catches him, lays him onto the stretcher and says, “Low blood sugar, probably. He’ll be back up in no time.”

Eudora nods, deciding that this is the type of conversation that she won’t repeat, and that she can’t bring up again.

--

Five never says so, but days with Diego aren’t really as bad as he pretends they are. They’re lounging on the couch after a day of errands, visiting Grace (Five refuses to call her grandma, at this point, not even he knows why), and a visit to the library so that Five could get an extension on a book he hasn’t quite finished reading.

To top it all off, on the way home they stopped at a cafe, and Diego let Five order the biggest coffee on the menu without complaint or comment.

The show on television is garbage, and Five would rather be reading his library book, but he’s so comfy underneath the blanket Diego threw over him, and despite the amount of caffeine he ingests daily, he can feel his eyes slipping closed.

He’s only slightly roused when he feels two strong arms around him, lifting him from the couch. He just curls in on himself more, and he can faintly hear Diego chuckle but it sounds and feels a million miles away.

Five feels himself being placed on his bed, hears Diego tugging at the comforter until it’s over Five’s shoulder, and the pressure as he tucks him in, something he hasn’t done in almost a decade. He barely did it before too.

Five assumes he’ll leave right away, so he starts snuggling into bed, but then his sleep addled brain is surprised when he feels Diego petting his hair and whispering,

“Goodnight, kiddo,” a term Five never lets him use, and then he feels Diego kiss the side of his head, an action Five never lets him do. “I love you.”

After a second that lasts an eternity, Five hears the door to his room close, leaving him alone in his room.

If he sleeps any better than night than usual, he racks it up to coincidence.

--

Beaman is at a club with his friends on a Friday night. It’s not a common occurrence, but his friend got a promotion and wanted to celebrate. The club they’re in isn’t strictly a gay club, but he can tell there’s a lot of gay people in it. Not that he has a problem with that, it just means that he doesn’t think he’ll be heading home with anyone tonight.

It’s just after ten when Beaman finishes his drink and heads to the washroom. As soon as he opens the door he can tell that people are going at it in the stall. The grunting and moaning can be heard over the muffled music when the door is closed, and he can see the two different pairs of shoes underneath the stall door.

Usually, Beaman would hightail it out of there, but he’s already pleasantly drunk, and he really has to piss, so he just shrugs and uses the urinal. As he’s zipping his pants back up he hears one last grunt and some heavy breathing.

Beaman is just finishing drying his hands at the sink when the stall door opens, and who else than Detective Diego Hargreeves walks out. Beaman turns around after recognizing him in the mirror, and Diego stops in his tracks, mouth gaping.

Beaman has to say, he never expected Diego to own leather pants.

The other man - oh lord, the man Diego was having sex with - walks out of the stall, slaps Diego’s ass, before saying, “Call me sometime, baby.” and walking out, not before throwing a tied condom in the trash.

Diego and Beaman stay frozen.

After a minute Beaman clears his throat. “So, I guess Five won’t be getting a sibling anytime soon.”

Diego lets out a laugh that, even in his slightly drunk state, Beaman can tell is forced and pinched.

They’re saved from any further awkwardness when a skinny dude wearing a skirt - Klaus, Beaman remembers - bursts into the washroom, yelling, “Brother dearest, did you have a good time?”

Diego whips towards him, immediately saying, “I’m going home now.”

Klaus pouts and says, “Ugh, Dave wants to leave too, you guys are so boring. But, fine, let's go. ”

Diego almost sprints out of the washroom.

On Monday, Beaman can barely make eye contact with Diego without blushing.

--

It starts out a fairly quiet day. Eudora hands in all her completed files and reports before noon, interviews a witness and manages to organize her desk before everything goes to shit.

Before she even sees what’s going on, she hears a voice demanding, “Let go of me, you goddamn creep!”

Diego’s head snaps up, eyebrows furrowing when he sees Davidson, the beat cop, leading Five by the arm through the precinct.

“Five?” Diego asks, eyeing the cut on his cheek, bloody knuckles, and the blood around his nose, “What happened?”

“He got into a fight with a classmate. Happened outside school grounds. A bystander called, I recognized him, figured I would let you handle it since the kid’s parent decided not to press charges.” Davidson turns to Five, “You got lucky this time, kid.

“Fuck off, pig, don’t call me ‘kid’.” Five spits.

Eudora can see Diego’s jaw tense as he says, “Thank you, Davidson.”

Davidson’s hand isn’t even off of Five before Diego is standing and pushing Five into the chair next to his desk.

“Five, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“I was thinking that Eric is a little bitch who thinks he’s better than me, so I wanted to prove him wrong. I miscalculated and got my ass handed to me.” Five says, blunt as ever. Diego pinches the bridge of his nose.

“You can’t go around fighting everyone-”

“Why not? You do.”

“Yeah, because I’m allowed because I’m a cop. You’re a kid.”

“Don’t call me a kid.” Five hisses.

“I will stop calling you a kid when you stop fucking acting like one,” Diego replies.

“Well, maybe I’ll stop ‘acting like one’ when you stop acting like you’re my dad.”

“Five,” Diego starts with a warning tone, “I am your dad.”

“No,” Five says, voice raising, not that it matters since just about every cop on the floor is staring, “You’re not. You’re just some fuck up who got stuck with me and now thinks he knows what’s best for me.”

“Fidel Victor Hargreeves, I swear to god-” Diego seethes, voice suddenly impossibly quiet, but before he can finish Five yells over him again.

“Or what? What will you do, Diego? Ground me? Make me switch schools again? Finally going to send me away like you always wanted?! Guess what Diego, I don’t need you, and I don’t want you around! I’d rather have an actual mom or dad, or better yet, nothing at all, instead of whatever the fuck you are!”

Diego seems stunned into silence, and after a second of heavy breathing, Five starts to get up from the chair to try and walk away.

Quick as a whip, Diego’s hand shoots out, pushing him back onto the chair and handcuffing him to the desk.

“What the fuck, Diego?” Five shrieks.

If Diego’s voice is watery, no one will be brave enough to comment, “You got into a fight - assaulted someone. I’m not letting you leave this precinct alone. And since I’ll have to clean up your mess - again - that means you have to wait here until someone can pick you up.”

For a second Five is still, until he lashes out trying to kick Diego.

“If you keep throwing a tantrum I will throw you into a holding cell,” Diego says, before grabbing his phone and walking away.

“Fuck you, you fucking fascist!” Five screams after him, but as soon as Diego is out of sight, he just crosses his arms the best he can and hunches over in the chair.

Eudora looks around, sees every other cop in the homicide division still staring at Five. Thank god the captain is out at a meeting today, she thinks. “Okay, the show’s over, folks, let’s get back to work!”

She waits a minute, watching everyone slowly get back into their work, before going to follow Diego.

Anytime he needs to make calls he goes out to the old stairwell that has surprisingly decent reception. It’s too narrow for two way traffic, so most people avoid it, which is why Diego prefers it over the roof or the break room.

She opens the door to the stairwell slowly, peeking in she sees Diego sitting on a step, hunched over, palms pressed to his eyes.

“Hey,” she whispers, trying not to surprise him. Her efforts fall short, as he shoots up, hands falling away from his eyes and sniffs. His face is wet, eyes red.

“Oh hey, Patch,” he says. “I called fucking Luther of all people - figured he was the only one physically strong enough to carry Five out of here. He was busy though, so Ben is coming to get him.”

Eudora nods, closing the stairwell door behind her as she goes to squeeze in next to Diego on the step. It’s a tight fit.

He refuses to look at her, an occasional sniffle still sneaking out of his body.

“So, Fidel, huh?” She asks, not having planned to find Diego crying.

He lets out a garbled laugh. “Yeah, I wanted his name to be Spanish, you know, keep heritage or whatever. But then he refused to learn Spanish, and then we got into a fight when he was five, and since then he refused to go by anything besides that: Five.”

“He’s pretty stubborn.” She says, trying to be diplomatic. Diego nods, and for a minute Eudora thinks it’ll all be okay.

But then another sob wracks it way through Diego’s body and he chokes up, “C-c-could you leave me a-alone, please?”

“Yeah, bud, yeah, let me know if you need anything.” She says, almost relieved to leave this situation.

Ten minutes later, Diego comes - eyes red, face damp - to unlock Five’s handcuffs as he passes his son to Ben.

He sits down at his desk, takes a deep breath, and goes back to work until seven pm when he goes home.

It becomes another thing that no one talks to him about.

--

Eudora never realized that in all her years of knowing Diego, she’s never been to his house.

They’re on their way back from a crime scene when Diego mentions he lives in the area, and Hey, do you mind if we stop by for a minute, I forgot my flash drive on my bedside table, and suddenly Eudora is waiting for Diego to unlock the door to an apartment.

She doesn’t know what to expect. She knows his family is loaded, but she half expected him to live in an abandoned warehouse that doubled as an underground boxing ring. The apartment building that he lives in seems nice, nicer than most single cops with his salary could get (the perks of inheritance, she supposes), but it isn’t obnoxiously expensive. The halls could do with a fresh coat of paint, and Diego has to jiggle the doorknob just right to unlock the door.

“Come on in,” he says, after the door is open, “You want coffee, water?”

“Uh, just water,” she replies, looking around the entrance way. Against the wall there’s a neat row of Converse, Nikes and combat boots next to equally neat pairs of Birkenstocks, runners and leather shoes. The size difference is almost comical.

The entrance gives way to the living room, where a comfortable, but worn looking sofa and armchair sit around a chipped coffee table in front of a tv. There’s some complicated looking textbooks on the table, and the bookshelves surrounding the tv seems to be half books and half knickknacks.

Diego returns from the kitchen with a glass of water for Eudora, and says, “Just give me a minute,” before going down the hall to what Eudora is presuming is his bedroom.

She takes a sip and looks around the living room. There are more pictures on the walls than she would have presumed Diego would allow. Family photos, clearly taken before Five was born, with Diego smiling plastically with his siblings, his father looking regal and harsh, his mother beautiful and sweet. Photos of him as a teenager with Klaus and Ben, grinning with beers in their hands. Pictures of him with medals from a swimming competition, hair plastered to his face, huddled in a hoodie. He looked softer than she expected him to look as a teenager, somehow. Then she spots the pictures of Five.

The newer the photos are, the happier Diego looks in them. There’s a photo taken just last year, judging by the sling on Diego’s arm - an injury he gotten while trying to force a door open - showing him grinning wide next to a straight-faced Five, holding a trophy. A picture of Five at maybe age twelve, him scowling at Diego’s hand on his shoulder, Diego himself smiling softly. Five sitting on a swing, around age ten with a slight grin on his face, Diego looking tired but content. Then there’s the older pictures on the bookshelf. Pictures of a grinning toddler and a frowning Diego, pictures of Diego holding a bundled up baby, surrounded by his siblings who look awkward, his mother who looks as sweet as always, and a father who looks smug. Pictures of Five alone, playing with blocks and laughing.

Still no picture of a mother, Eudora notes. Only Diego’s family, or Diego himself. She wonders where the mom must have run off to if her absence was agreed upon or a surprise.

She finishes her water, and Diego comes out from the bedroom with a lanyard with a bunch of USB sticks hanging from it. He locks his apartment when they leave, and Eudora doesn’t ask any questions about Five’s mom. It wouldn’t be polite.

--

Five is nearly finished reading his latest library book when he hears a sharp knock on the door, the only warning he gets before it swings open.

“You know the point of knocking is to wait for the person to say ‘come in’.” Five turns the page without looking up.

“Nah, it’s to let the person know that someone is coming in,” Diego replies. He sets down a bowl of strawberries on Five’s bedside table, grabbing the empty mug instead. “Good book?"

Five hums, eyes still glued to the page.

“‘Yes, Diego, it is a good book, thank you for bringing me food,’” Diego says in a comically high pitched voice.

Five grumbles, but Diego laughs and leaves the room. When he hears the door shut, Five looks up and glances at the bowl beside him. He reaches over, grabs the biggest one and takes a bite out of it. It’s sweet and the juice runs down his palm, making him scramble as to not get it on the pages of his book.

He brings an empty bowl out later, and he talks to Diego about his book for an hour.

--

Eudora gets a Twitter notification before Diego gets the phone call. It’s sad, that school catching on fire, but it’s doesn’t seem relevant to bring it up in conversation. She doesn’t even think about the fact that she’s only ever seen Five in a private school uniform.

They’re just driving, patrolling an area where a witness apparently saw a suspect, even though they both know it’s a dead end. Eudora is behind the wheel since Diego said he wanted to be able to look over the witness statement as they drove.

Diego’s phone keeps vibrating in his pocket, so finally, he picks it up with an irritated, “What?”

Eudora looks over just in time to see his face fall.

“What? When? What do you mean- Is Five- What do you mean you don’t know? What- Fine, okay!” He hangs up almost frantic.

“What was that about?” Eudora asks, almost amused.

“Five’s school caught on fire, and they can't find him, but I know he’s there because I dropped him off this morning, and I need to get there right now,” Diego says all in one breath, looking like he’s a second away from crying.

“Oh damn,” Eudora says, flipping on the sirens and running through a light.

They’re at Five’s school in less than ten minutes, Diego spending the whole time nearly working himself into a panic attack. Eudora pulls up as close as she can to the school, it already surrounded by other parents and emergency vehicles, and before she’s even parked, Diego is jumping out of the car, sprinting towards the crowd of people.

He does his best to push through the crowd without knocking anyone over. After a few minutes of struggle, he manages to break through to the front of the crowd, where all the ambulances and school children who haven’t been picked up yet are waiting.

“Five! Five!” Diego calls out, making a few heads turn. He doesn’t see him, so he’s about to keep moving when he hears a garbled whine.

Diego’s head whips around, finally spotting Five sitting on the back of an ambulance, an oxygen mask strapped to his face, struggling against the paramedic who’s trying to keep him still. Diego dashes over to him.

“Five, oh my god, Five, are you okay?” He asks him desperately, hands shooting out to hold his face.  Five lets out another whine, and Diego realizes his arm and shoulder are wrapped with gauze and bandages.

“Oh, Five,” Diego says softly, making sure not to put too much pressure on him as he wrapped Five into a hug. He half expects Five to struggle and push him away, but instead, Five just presses closer and takes in a shaky breath.

And then he starts to cry.

“D-D-D-” Five starts to choke out, and Diego just shushes him and pets his hair, “Dad, I w-was scared, and - and - and there was smoke and-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Diego interrupts, hearing Five’s voice get more brittle, more gasps for air in between words. “It’s okay now, I’m here, Dad’s here, Five.”

Five nods his head shakily and takes another gasping breath.

After a few minutes, Five calms down enough to extract himself from Diego’s chest, face red and blotchy, tears still glistening on his cheeks. The paramedic tells Diego that Five got minor burns, but they aren’t serious, shouldn’t even scar, but that he should still take Five to the hospital, just to make sure everything is fine.

He removes the oxygen mask from Five’s face, and instantly Five is back to clinging to Diego like his life depends on it. Gingerly, Diego wraps his arms around his son and lifts him up, Five’s skinny legs locking like a vice around his hips.

“Come on, kid, let’s get you to a hospital,” Diego whispers.

“Do we have to, dad?” Five asks, “I’m tired.”

“I know, kid, but you can sleep in the car.” He says, before remembering that Eudora drove him. He looks around and finds her in the crowd. She stands awkwardly, not knowing if she should stand away from blubbering families, or if she should get closer to Diego.

Diego walks somewhat awkwardly, trying not to jostle Five too much.

“Hey, Patch, you think you could drive us to a hospital?” He asks, although he already knows she’ll say yes. As expected Eudora nods and starts to show him to where she hastily parked on the sidewalk. They make a brief detour to let a random school official know that Diego is taking Five to a hospital, so they don’t have to keep calling him.

Eudora opens the backdoor to the car for Diego and is only slightly surprised when instead of depositing Five in the back and climbing into the front seat, Diego gingerly sits down in the back, still holding Five in his arms. He rearranges Five’s skinny body so that he sits across Diego’s lap.

“Seatbelt,” Diego mutters, making Five sighs as he helps to buckle it across the two of them.

Five falls asleep on the cautious drive to the hospital, waking up periodically to cough. Occasionally Eudora peeks at them through the rear view mirror, sees Diego rub circles on Five’s back or whispering to him softly. She also feels embarrassed to see these acts of affection, like a voyeur or a peeping tom, given how cold and distant Diego and Five tend to act towards each other in public.

Eudora pulls up to the hospital and she has to help Diego out of the car since he doesn’t want to wake up his sleeping child.

“You know, he’s almost cute when he’s sleeping,” Diego jokes quietly, as he does his best to get a grip on Five’s legs.

Eudora laughs, but it’s tense. She agrees with the statement, but it’s hard to make a quip back when she can see the bandages around the kid’s arm getting darker with plasma and blood. They stand awkwardly for a moment.

“Do you think you could also call the captain and just let him know why I won’t be back at the station today?”

“Oh, yeah, of course, totally,” Eudora says quickly, already dreading the conversation.

Diego smiles, “Thanks, Patch, I owe you one.”

“Don’t worry about it.”  Another moment of silence.

“So, yeah, uh, thanks.” And then Diego is off, walking towards the automatic doors.

Eudora waits until the two of them have disappeared behind layers of glass, before getting into the car and driving back to the station. Diego takes three more days off of work but no one has the gall to bring it up when he comes back.

--

Beaman feels like he’s dying after Diego walked him through his normal work out. He mentioned wanting to switch gyms, and Diego offered to show him his usual routine.

“Holy shit, no wonder you look like that,” he pants out, making Diego laugh. Beaman decides that dignity isn’t worth it, and hunches over, hands on knees as he takes deep breaths.

“You get used to it.” He says, simply, though there’s still sweat running down his face. He lifts the bottom of his shirt up to wipe his face.

And Beaman doesn’t mean to stare, but he was looking in that direction anyway, and he’s pretty sure Diego just did that to show off his abs, but then Beaman is face to face with yet another scar and holy shit-

“How’d you get that one?” His mouth asks before his brain can tell him not to. Diego makes a confused noise. Beaman jerks his head in the general direction of Diego’s stomach.

“That one.” He’s looking at the long vertical scar, going right up his stomach. It looks old, in some lights it probably isn’t noticeable at all, but with the rest, Diego’s skin bright and sweaty, the darker, somewhat crooked line stands out starkly.

“Oh,” Diego looks down and quickly drops his shirt. For once he seems awkward talking about it, “It’s from a surgery I had a long time ago. It didn't go well. I don’t want to talk about it.”

The terseness of his reply takes Beaman off guard, but he quickly recovers, nods, and says, “Fair enough.”

He still finds it strange, though, how open Diego is about every other mark on his body, but he won’t push it.

Especially not after Diego showed him how hard he could punch.

--

“Hey, Diego,” Eudora starts before she thinks better. They’re at a bar, celebrating closing a case, and she’s probably drunken more than her fair share, but then Diego offered to pay for the next round and it wouldn’t be polite to decline, even though the question she’s about to ask is anything other than rude, “Diego!”

“What?” He laughs a bit at her slurring, taking another sip of beer.

“Where’s Five’s mom?”

Diego just about chokes on his drink. “What?”

“Where is Five’s mom?” She asks, slower and louder.

“Why do you need to know?” Diego frowns.  

“I’m just wonderin’,” she says, “Just ‘cause you’re always taking care of him, and you haven’t dated anyone in a while, so I was just wondering-”

“He doesn’t need a mom,” Diego cuts her off, almost angry, “He has me.”

“I’m not accusing you, or anything,” Eudora says, even though just saying that makes it sound worse, “Like, I said, I was just curious about her.”

For some reason, that comment seems to upset him more.

“Five doesn’t need a mom, he doesn’t need another dad, I’m his parent, his dad. We don’t need anyone else.” Diego almost growls out. He’s gathering his things before Eudora has a chance to backtrack or apologize, and before she knows it he’s gone.

The next morning Eudora' s head is killing her and she narrowly avoids vomiting while brushing her teeth. Her memory of the night previous is fuzzy, but she remembers enough to know that she clearly hit a nerve and was out of line.

She walks into work wearing sunglasses and carrying two coffees. She silently sets one down on Diego’s desk, earning a raised eyebrow from him.

At lunchtime, he tells her that Five got in trouble at school for talking back to a teacher, and the only reason why they haven’t kicked him out is that his marks are so good he brings up the curve of every class he’s in. He looks at her, almost as if testing to see what her reaction is.

Eudora hums. “Well, I’m sure you have it under control.”

Diego looks at her for another second, then shrugs, before telling her about a show he saw a few nights ago.

Eudora figures that means she passed.

--

Shockingly, it isn’t a knife or a bullet or a hammer or even a machete that lands Diego into the hospital this time; it’s a car. Arguably it’s the most normal injury anyone in the homicide division can recall Diego being the victim of. He was doing surveillance on the street when the suspect got spooked and decided to drive off - right into Diego. He keeps repeating that it’s not a big deal, even after he has his leg in a cast and a doctor telling him that he should stay in the hospital for a few days so that they can check his ribs and head.

Eudora and Beaman decide to wait until his family show up when Diego turns to them with a wince and says, “I need to call Five, can I have a phone?”

Beaman phone is in his hand so he just passes it over. Diego types in a number and winces again as he puts the phone again his ear.

“Hey, kiddo- I know, I know, you don’t like being called that. Someone called you, right? Yeah, I’m in the hospital. No, I’m not dying, don’t sound so excited. Listen, before you come - because you are going to visit me, you little sociopath - can you grab some stuff for me at home? Yeah, clothes, stuff like that, I also need you to get my, uh, stuff out of the bathroom. Under the sink. I’m supposed to do it today, but they wanna keep me here for a bit and I just don’t wanna get off track again. Thanks. If you call Ben or Klaus they might be able to drive you here. You’ll just take the bus? Okay, see you later.” He hangs up and passes the phone back to Beaman.

It’s less than an hour later when Five walks into the hospital room carrying a backpack. He’s out of his school uniform, but he’s still wearing a button up shirt under a cardigan.

He nods at the detectives when they say, “Hello, Five.”

Five looks at Diego and snorts, “Getting fragile, old man?”

“Shut up,” Diego says, groaning when he sits up. “Did you bring my stuff?”

“When you say it like that it makes it sound illegal.” Five says, drily, as he unzips the backpack. He pulls out a first kit, and Eudora is about to ask why Diego needed a first aid kit in a hospital when Five unzips that as well and pulls out a needle.

He walks over to Diego, who immediately looks uncomfortable.

“Can you move this gown without scarring my eyes?” Five prompts and Diego nods and moves it to the side, revealing his stomach and that long scar that is oh so visible in the harsh, hospital lighting.

Five takes the cap off the needle, and Diego closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Three, two, one,” Five counts down, before plunging the needle into Diego’s stomach. He slowly injects the contents of it, Diego holding his breath the whole time. After a few seconds, Five removes the needle, walking over to the biohazard disposal box on the walls.

“I should have brought all the other ones and just thrown them out here.” He comments, before going back to the first aid kit and pulling out an alcohol wipe and a bandaid.

Beaman clears his throat, “Um, what was that?”

“What was what?” Five asks, passing the items to Diego.

“What was up with that, that needle?” Eudora asks.

Five raises an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“What was in it?” Eudora presses on, undeterred by Five’s tone, which suggests he thinks she’s an idiot.

“Testosterone.” Diego supplies, just as Five’s opening his mouth.

That only prompts more questions.

“Why are you taking testosterone?” Beaman asks before his eyes widen. “Oh my god, is it for your boxing? Are you doping”

Five scoffs, but Diego ignores him. “No, it’s totally legal, I have a prescription.”

“Why?” Eudora asks.

“Uh, because I have to, otherwise my body will change back to what it was before.” He looks at the confused faces of his friends. “I’m trying to tell you I’m trans, but I guess it isn’t working.”

Eudora and Beaman gape for a few seconds.

“Can I leave? This is weird for me.” Five interrupts, clearly not caring about the revelations going on inside the room. Diego rolls his eyes.

“You can wait outside.”

“I’m going to the cafeteria.” Five says, not waiting for an agreement before he leaves.

For a few seconds, the room is silent.

“So,” Eudora starts, “You’re trans?”

“Yes.”

“And this never came up before because..?”

“Because it was never relevant and I didn’t want you to know.” His face is unsympathetic when a brief wave of hurt crosses their faces. “It isn’t against you or because I thought negatively about you or anything, it’s just really personal and I don’t like a lot of people knowing about.”

“Is this why you don’t date?” Beaman asks before he seems to catch what he said. “Sorry.”

“I mean, partially. Part of me not dating is also because I’m a cop, and part of it is because of Five.”

Another wave of silence comes across the room.

“And Five is…?” Eudora starts, hoping Diego will understand what she’s asking.

“Five is my kid. I had him when I was sixteen, as in I gave birth to him. Well, actually I had a real nasty c-section because he was upside down. His other dad fucked off somewhere, I don’t care and neither does he.”

The two of them nod.

“Not to be rude, but does Five act the way he does because of… this?” Beaman asks carefully.

Diego snorts. “No, you’re not the first one to ask. He acts like that because he’s a dick, I love him but he is, and he spent the first five-ish years of his life in a house with my siblings and father. So, he was bound to get kind of messed up, I just didn’t think it would result in so many goddamn suspensions."

Beaman and Eudora ask a few more questions before they lapse into a new silence. Five comes back with a cup of coffee that makes him pull a face every time he takes a sip.

“No one is holding a gun to your head, you don’t have to drink that,” Diego says after Five nearly gags into the cup.

“Fuck you, Diego, I do what I want.” He eyes Diego’s cast, “And you can’t stop me.”

It’s almost comical how only a few minutes later Five is fluffing Diego’s pillow before saying, “I’m going home now.”

“Want a ride?” Eudora asks, police brain switching on, viewing Five not as her friend’s son who could probably talk his way out of a mugging, but as a skinny minor, walking through the streets of New York in the late evening.

Five eyes her for a moment, before saying, “Okay.”

They say their farewells to Diego, him making Five promise to go to school the next day.

Eudora isn’t sure what she intends to accomplish or attain from giving Five a ride to his house. Mostly he’s quiet in the backseat, occasionally giving directions, even though Eudora knows her way to Diego’s apartment.

“So, how’s school?” Beaman tries, the silence suffocating him.

“I know Diego tells you how it’s going, you don’t have to ask.” Well, that didn’t work.

They’re almost at Diego’s house, and the curiosity is eating away at Eudora.

“Hey, Five,” She asks. Five hums, looking out the window. “Why don’t you call Diego ‘dad’?”

“Why would I?” Is his response, which throws her for a loop.

“Because he’s your father?”

“The terms mom and dad are possessive terms that came out of the middle class, nuclear family dynamic; a dynamic that I did not grow up with and one that I continue to not be a part of.” He looks over and makes eye contact with her through the mirror, “Besides, what teenager wants to be called ‘dad’?”

Eudora struggles to find a response, but Five presses on. “Diego and my’s relationship is fine, regardless of how unconventional it is. I grew up in a house full of weird fucking people, but Diego was still the only one who could - or at least tried to - raise me. He taught me how to tie my shoes, and read, and gut a fish, and drive, and shave, and how to dress myself. Any deviations from the norm are intentional. If you think something is wrong with the way I act or the way he raises me then you can keep it to yourself, because someone already called social services once and that was a really weird month for everyone involved.”

“I think,” Beaman butts in, “that as long as both of you are happy, then there’s nothing to be concerned about.”

Five seems satisfied with that answer and looks out the window again.

Something clicks in Eudora mind. “Wait, did you say he taught you how to drive? You’re fourteen!”

--

After that, not much changes. Diego goes back to work but is put on desk duty until his cast is off. He still keeps a lot of things private, doesn’t brag about Five’s accomplishments or put pictures of him on his desk. But one day Diego invites Eudora and Beaman over for dinner, saying something about how Five was staying at a friend’s house to work on a project so he was planning on drinking and watching movies.

They have a good time, nothing crazy happens, but when Eudora gets up to get another beer from the fridge she looks over at the bookshelf in the living room and sees all the old pictures of Five. Five smiling with building blocks, the grinning toddler and the frowning teenager. And in the front is a new addition.

Right in the front, in a new frame, even though the actual picture looks worn as if someone's touched it a lot over the years, is, what Eudora is guessing, the first picture of Five ever.

Still pink and slimy, Five is in a blanket, gazing up at a sweaty, tired looking Diego. He looks young, younger than sixteen, but that might be due to the look of confusion and anxiety on his face. He still looks muscular, but his face is softer, and Eudora can see the clear signs of breasts under the hospital gown. His siblings are crowded around the hospital bed, all smiling stiffly at the camera, and Diego’s mother has her hand on Diego’s shoulder.

Eudora remembers what Diego said about not feeling anything when Five was born, and it may be because she’s tipsy, and she’s seen Diego give Five hugs goodbye, and texting him in the morning to remind him to have breakfast, and calling him to let him know that he went grocery shopping so his favourite chips are in the cupboard, but Eudora begs to differ that he felt nothing.

Because despite looking tired, and sweaty, and confused, and anxious, he’s smiling. Not like his siblings are smiling, not like he’s only smiling because someone told him to, but he’s smiling the way he does Five forgets to tell him off for calling him ‘kid’, or when Five hugs him back, or when Five says ‘thank you’ without being told. There are smiles specifically reserved for Five, Eudora has realized, and in that picture, she sees the first one ever.

#the umbrella academy #tua fic #diego hargreeves #number five #trans!diego #idk read if u want its a free fucking country yall can do what u want but uhh if u do... pls leave a kudos or comment pls

[staarberryy]

They really did Rox like that huh. And Jade. God damn. Dave doesn’t deserve this either.

yeah it was too ooc… jade was disgusting to dave and karkat and roxy just got pushed away imo. i could go on and on about this but i really have no energy left. like fuck, why coudn’t they have made it just happy and gay that’s all i’ve ever wanted 

#ask #anon i share ur pain h #this whole epilogue thing is making me dislike og homestuck #i just dont rly know how to feel anymore sjkfjdg #anon #epilogue spoilers #hs spoilers #upd8

[prefrcntal-a]

something about this blog is giving me the ick : might be having almost 300 followers and interacting with less than half, might be that its old and I wanna refresh idk : regardless I think I'll archive and start fresh on a new one!! it'll be the same url!! <3

#【 » god fucking damn it dave ⇢ ooc « 】 #feel like i post stuff and it just kinda goes *woosh* yknow? #might be shadow banned too 👀 #in any case! #ill work on this over the weekend #no biggie just moving stuff to a new space #<3

[ao3feed-davekat]

I like my coffe like I like myself

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2u1Ycyb

by TheSurvivedRose

He didn't think Karkat would do THAT but damn he did.

God, Dave was absolutely crazy for him.

Words: 1738, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Homestuck

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dave Strider, Karkat Vantas, Dirk Strider (Mentioned)

Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas

Additional Tags: Humanstuck, borderline crack fic, Coffee Shops, it's a fucking coffee shop Au guys, hear me out, I just wanted to make something funny and silly before Diving in to my big project completely, a lil ooc never killed anybody

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2u1Ycyb

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #davekat #homestuck

[bucklethefxckupkiddo]

GamDave - day one

.: God this is so fucking red it makes me want to mcfreakin puke. Gamzee is so ooc it hurts me. Also i needed to write something with Trans!Dave so yeah. ::::: Dave let out a small sigh, letting his eyes slip shut. He needed to calm down. It was all going to be okay in the end. Living the Makaras was just going to be a temporary thing. As much as he’d love to have a roommate, he’d rather have it be someone who wasn’t dependent on doing drugs to remain sane. He wasn’t happy about it, but this is the situation that he was currently in. Maybe he could get his shit together in record time and leave this damned house. He groans as he flops down on the bed he was staying on, running his hands through his greasy blonde hair. It was days like these that made him question how he’d managed to end up in the situation he was in. Maybe if he was taking care of himself better he wouldn’t be having this problem right now. But Dave didn’t have any form of filter, and that’s what got him into this mess. Of course going onto the deep web was a bad idea, but he didn’t expect it to spiral out of control like that. But of course with Dave, there was no middle ground. It was either mild or extreme. It’s not like it was never like that before. With all the strifes that he used to have with his Bro, he’d either get off just fine without so much as a scratch, or end up plummeting down a flight of stairs and getting bruised on every possible inch of skin that he could. He shuddered at the thought. That was a shitty time of his life, and he didn’t want to start thinking about it again. Back to the task at hand. He slowly sat back up, a small yawn leaving his lips. Dave stretched out his back, groaning as he listened to all the god awful pops and cracks it made. He really needed to find a better sleeping position. He was going to have back problems in a few months if he didn’t sort his shit out now. He slowly stood up, getting a change of clothes and heading up to the bathroom. He had some time to himself, so taking a long, hot shower would be ideal. The Highblood was gone out of town on some business with whatever the fuck kind of job he has, Kurloz was out with a few of his moirails, and Gamzee.. Well Dave didn’t know what the fuck Gamzee was out doing. Dave lets out a deep sigh as he begins to undress once he was in the bathroom. The door was shut. He wasn’t going to take any chances with the clown popping up out of nowhere again. That shit just wasn’t cool. Dave put on a playlist that he found himself listening to even more than usual lately. He didn’t even know why he bothered with creating more playlists anymore. It always came down to just adding more songs to the pre-existing playlist. He got everything set up. A towel hanging up, all his soaps in the shower already. Dave had to hide his soaps or someone else in the house was going to end up stealing all of them. He didn’t feel like spending all the money he earned on soaps. Even if he spent a decent amount of money on soap, he didn’t need to keep spending more and more on it. He turns on the water, pulling the shower curtains across the rack. He waited a little while, just leaning on the counter and staring at himself in the mirror. He hated not wearing his binder. He was planning on saving up for top surgery, but that would mean getting enough time off of work to recover from that. With his boss, that was going to fucking great to explain. Dave was more of a don’t ask, don’t tell kind of guy. If there was no reason to tell someone about him being trans, he wouldn’t bring up the topic. He didn’t see why it had to be such a federal fucking issue. He’d had enough problems with coming out in the past that he didn’t feel the need to ever bring it up with anyone except people who absolutely needed to know. He soon stepped into the shower, letting the hot water run down over his back. This made Dave let out a loud sigh. His tense muscles began to relax. Steam rose up around him, fogging up the room. He forgot to turn on the fan again. That was fine. It’s not like he cared. The bathroom was quite dark. It wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, but it was something that took a little bit of time to get used to. The Makaras used incredibly dark light bulbs for some fucking reason. Dave didn’t know why, and frankly he didn’t care to find out. He was fine with not knowing. He tipped his head back, bringing his pale hands up and running his fingers through his hair. He worked out the tangles the best he could. He needed to get a new comb after Gamzee destroyed the last one trying to brush out his matted curls. Dave got some shampoo in the palm of his right hand and began to massage it into his hair. He closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He began to softly sing along to the music, letting himself get lost in the music. It was something that he’d come to love. He didn’t notice the front door opening and shutting in a hurry. Dave was just lost in his world of the shower. The music was drowning out anything else as he washed his body. He didn’t bother with shaving. He’d handle that later when he wasn’t so tired. After being in there for around forty minutes, he turned off the water and stood there for a moment as he let some of the water run down his body and into the bathtub. He steps out and wraps a towel around his body, standing by the counter again as he stares at the fogged up mirror. He heard someone shuffling past the door, earning a faint groan from Dave. he counted on having enough time to lounge around after the shower and not deal with anyone interrupting his alone time. Whatever. He would just go to bed early again and try to rest up. The towel dries his hair, leaving it in a huge mess as he pulls on his clothes. He wasn’t going to deal with his binder. He was working on not falling asleep in it anymore, which was good for him. He didn’t need another rib injury. The clothes he put on were baggy and several sizes too big. Dave thought that was perfectly fine. That way he didn’t have to worry about any kind of hints that he might have any curves where they shouldn’t be. He watched the mirror as the image it reflection slowly became more visible. When he could make out the words on the band tee he was wearing, he opened the door and stepped out. It was cold, and Dave almost began to shiver. He didn’t understand why the Makaras always kept their house so damn freezing, but Dave was in no position to complain. He began making his way back to the room he was staying in, only to be intercepted by Gamzee halfway there. “Hey motherfucker,” Gamzee’s gravely voice rang out. Dave could tell he’d been smoking lately. The taller male reeked of weed. It’s not that Dave was appalled by it. It was a normal occurrence, and he had grown to enjoy the smell. The entire fucking house smelled like it. “Gamzee, I don’t want to talk right now. I just want to go an take a nap,” he stated calmly as he started to walk past Gamzee. Gamzee’s painted lips curled into a smile. “I know you’re all up and tired, but I wanted to try one motherfuckin’ thing. It won’t take all that long.” He pulled his hands out of the pockets of the dark purple hoodie that he wore all the time. Dave looks up at him , his arms crossing firmly over his chest. “Fine. What is it that you want? This better not be a waste of my time,” The blonde had a slightly annoyed tone to his voice. His stoic expression remained unchanged, but his voice held all his emotions. It was almost as bad os his eyes, which were thankfully covered by his shades that he’d remembered to bring into the bathroom before he got into the shower. “I promise that you’re not going to be all up and disappointed. Just hold up one of your hands,” Gamzee held up one of his hands, spreading out his fingers. Dave rolls his eyes and raises a hand in the same way, spreading out his fingers. “I hope you know that this is stupid,” Dave says firmly as Gamzee takes a step forward. He was about to move his hands back until Gamzee brings one of his hands over and gently presses it to Dave’s. “You’ve got some tiny hands, motherfucker,” Gamzee let out a low chuckle as his fingers curled over the top of Dave’s. The youngest Strider was about to pull his hand away when Gamzee went ahead and laced their fingers together. “What are you doing?” Dave tilts his head to the side slightly, his senses on high alert right now. “Just chill. I’m not gonna hurt you,” still holding one of Dave’s hands, Gamzee moved closer and wrapped an arm around Dave’s waist. He pulled the frail boy close to his chest. Dave’s body tensed right away. “You see, that’s your problem. You get all up and scared when people try and be nice.” Dave didn’t say anything. He just winced as Gamzee began to lightly pat his back. Dave held onto Gamzee’s hand tightly, his other hand gripping the side of the other’s hoodie. “Shh..” Gamzee closed his eyes, his curly hair falling forward as he brought his head down, kissing the top of Dave’s head. “All I want you to do is try and relax. You’ve got nothing’ to worry about now.” The two stood like that for quite some time. It was a peaceful silence. Dave slowly gave a nod, his eyes closing as well. “I can only try.” “And try you will,” Gamzee seemed to be pleased with how Dave was reacting to this. “Now I want you to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, okay little man?” Dave gives a small nod, breathing slowly. This was fine. He was okay with Gamzee being gentle like this. When he wasn’t sober, he was sort of alright. Dave’s body had gradually relaxed enough that he was comfortably leaning on Gamzee. “Let’s get you something to eat. I know you’re all up and skipping out on the meals we make,” Gamzee let out a groan as he picked Dave up easily, carrying him into the kitchen. Gamzee held Dave’s hand the entire time he was cooking, no matter what happened. Dave wasn’t going to start complaining. Gamzee’s hands were warm, sort of like comfortable furnaces. The pale boy was starting to grow on Gamzee. It was nice to have some comfortable silence every now and then.

#gamdave #homestuck #my writing #I'm actually really proud of this one

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