#'cause of his shatterpoints thing

[starchivist]

warnings for below the cut: unintentional misgendering (a character that uses it/its is referred to by they/them), paralysis, mention of someone being eaten

“Commander,” the imposter says with a nod as they try to pass him by.

Fox has his blaster up and aimed before they can go anywhere. “Not another step,” he warns.

The imposter’s eyes flick from the muzzle of his blaster to the view of his helmet, burning gold set deep in unhealthily pale skin.

“In any direction?” they ask, eyes narrowing. Then, before he can answer, they frown and glance to the side. Footsteps, and accompanying voices; a Senator he recognizes (and hates), chatting with his aide and at another Guard. “Nevermind,” the imposter says, and Fox staggers back as a rush of cold, salty air blows around him.

“Breathe, Commander,” the imposter advises, brusque, and something metallic clangs as fog fills his vision.

“What,” Fox wheezes, “the kriff was that?” He goes to jerk his blaster up again, and a cold shiver runs down his spine when his arms won’t move. None of his limbs will move when he tells them to, stuck in place like they’ve been frozen in carbonite.

There’s a pause as Fox catches his breath. Then, incredulous, the imposter demands “‘Kriff’? What the fuck kind of expletive is that? No, don’t answer,” they dismiss, and heavy footsteps come closer. A pair of hands pull his helmet off, suprisingly gentle, and Fox glares blinkingly at the imposter as they step back out of his space. “Breathe,” they say again as they set his helmet by his feet. Straightening, they tug his blaster out of his hands and toss it carelessly through the window to the side. It lands with a muffled clatter. Apparently satisfied, they turn their eyes back to him as they lean against the metal bars.

“What did you do?” Fox demands, refusing to let the dread rising in his chest show on his face.

“Commander Fox,” the imposter says blandly, low and rasping like something is wrong with their throat, wiggling their fingers at him in a sarcastic half-wave. “My name is Kisca. When you’re asking what I did, you’re going to have to be more specific about which ‘what’ you mean. I’ve done a lot of shit.”

Great; he’s gotten a smartass. “Where are we?” He asks, still trying desperately to move. “What is this place?”

Kisca tilts their head. “We’re in my Domain ― so far the prevailing name for it is the Foghouse. The answer for what it is takes a bit more explaining than I think you want to be stuck for, so take the first answer at face value.”

Fox grits his teeth. “Fine,” he snaps. “Who are you and what have you done with the Chancellor?”

Kisca raises a thin eyebrow. Something about them ― changes. They stand away from the wall, hunched slightly with their shoulders rounded and sloping downwards, a kindly smile on their face. “Commander Fox, I am the Supreme Chancellor,” they say ― in Chancellor Palpatine’s voice. Fox didn’t even notice them fading the Chancellor’s voice out as they talked, but now that they’ve switched back it’s frighteningly obvious. If he wasn’t staring straight at them he would’ve thought he just heard the Chancellor himself.

“What the kark are you?” he asks, hard.

Kisca’s eyebrows go up as they lean back against the wall. “This place has some weird fucking expletives,” they say, rasping again. “What I am is rather a long story, Commander. For the sake of time, I’m skipping the whole exposition thing ― there are better choices for a narrator of that particular story, anyway. Going back to the second part of your question, what I did was eat him.”

For a moment, all Fox can do is stare in horror. “You ― what?”

“Ate him,” Kisca repeats, bland and creaking. “He would’ve been a better meal for Artemy, given how terrified he was of dying, but ― I’m the one who’s here, so I’m the one who ate him. It works out, in any case ― this way the Galactic Senate gets somebody who isn’t actively tearing it apart from the inside.”

#star wars #starchives crossover #character: Kisca #character: Commander Fox #pov: fox #posted: 23rd. october 2022 #i wanted to describe the foghouse in more detail but unfortunately the words would not cooperate #but yeah kisca totally did a not-them on palpatine #no idea if i'm gonna stick with fox being the one to go 'hey who the absolute fuck are you' #or if i'm gonna have it be someone else #atm my other top choice is mace #'cause of his shatterpoints thing #and also i kinda just wanna have two resting-bitch-face assholes (affectionate) snarking at each other #whether i keep fox or not i'm thinking i'm gonna have dooku be COMPLETELY fucking unaware #that this ain't actually the sith lord he's been serving for years #kisca starts negotiating with seperatist forces and dooku goes 'uh. beg pardon??????' #SHOOT I FORGOT SOME ORGANIZING TAGS #draft snippet #collective timeline emperor kisca

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Had someone recently respond to my defense of Windu (and the Jedi more broadly) with well “there may be many examples of Mace being heroic, but there aren’t really any of him being compassionate”. Any thoughts or counterpoints to this?

Depends on what continuity they're working with, cause if it's Legends they're talking about I'd have to question how much Legends content they've even watched/read/played lmaooo (off the top of my head, there's the story of how Mace got his hurrikaine crystal, which he is given after saving an injured man who'd previously tried to kill him, there's his interactions with various characters in Shatterpoint, from guiding them through their problems to mercy-kills, and there's even that suuuuper duper Jedi hating comic Children of the Force that still has him giving back a child the parents regretted giving away. And that's just me listing things off the top of my head, there's a LOT more.)

If it's straight up canon they're talking about... what's even the difference between being heroic and compassionate when your heroism manifests by selflessly putting yourself in arms' way for the sake of others? Cause he does that OFTEN. (Throwing the two troopers on the energy bridge to safety even as the bridge vanishes from under him on Ryloth, trying to go save Boba and Aurra Sing's hostages while he's still injured in the Revenge arc, getting his troops to evacuate while he deals with a giant bomb in season 7... again, just off the top of my head.) He's consistently valuing other people's lives above his own, he's just not particularly cuddly about it.

But if it's unquestionable compassion they want...

Cmon.

#ask #anonymous #mace windu #mace windu appreciation

[aigoos]

Mace Windu and the Disaster Couple | Oneshot Humor and Fluff Obikin | Rating: T | Words: 1350

Summary: Mace Windu has had enough. The two biggest idiots in the galaxy and their shatterpoints have given him far too many headaches, so he decides to take some actions and decides to fuck the Code and bring balance to the Force in his own special way.

Based off the stick figure comic I made. I'm so not an artist, but the muse hit HARD. Many thanks to @to-proudly-go and @tideswept for alphaing this story with me and giving me some excellent ideas! Extra thanks to Tideswept for betaing this as well!

Mace Windu grimaced as he felt the onset of yet another headache -- his fifth one of the day.

It started with only seeing shatterpoints around Anakin. When the boy was knighted, the shatterpoints expanded to Obi-Wan. His mild headaches were now so severe that he felt like someone was pounding his head with a hammer that had kriffing rainbow-coloured lights on its handle. It was all those idiots' fault that Mace had a scowl on his face all the time now. Qui-Gon was bad enough when they were younger, for his friend also had a lot of shatterpoints, but Obi-Wan and Anakin were utter hell in comparison.

For the past year, the shatterpoints around them had grown brilliant. The fault lines in the Force used to only twinkle softly at him as they let him know gently of their importance like the stars in the night skies. Now? It was a kriffing supernova at every single point in the fault line as if the lights were now on a mission to blind him permanently and give him non-stop headaches.

It was bad when they brought him nausea; it was worse when he couldn't sleep or meditate.

This was why, as Kit Fisto kindly pointed out to him, he now carried a scowl everywhere he went and caused everyone to scurry away from him.

One day, he decided to focus on those bright shatterpoints. Through his headaches and nausea, he concentrated on what he could sense from them. Yes, the future was always in motion, but with them being so kriffing dazzling, surely he could glean something from them.

The only thing he managed to figure out was that the Force wanted Obi-Wan and Anakin to be together -- not as friends, not as the Team, but together. In that way. The way that went against everything in the Code. The way that brought naughty, unwanted images that made him want to bleach his eyes and brain. The image of Anakin on his back moaning prettily, as Obi-Wan slammed into him at a pace that surely put Anakin's speeder driving to shame was one he needed to erase immediately.

Sith's hell, Mace also needed a stiff drink or ten.

Not too long after, when both Obi-Wan and Anakin had returned to the Temple, Mace quietly observed them from a distance. His discerning eyes didn't miss the adoring gazes Anakin cast Obi-Wan's way, especially when the older man praised him. In conjunction, he caught the fond look in Obi-Wan's eyes while Anakin would coach Ahsoka in sparring techniques. Most especially, he didn't miss their longing, hungry expressions they'd give each other when the other wasn't looking.

It was . . . sweet, he supposed. But still nauseating.

These two idiots are not subtle. At all. If we offered dramatic arts here at the Temple, they would both fail, full stop.

The looks were bad enough. But then came their bickerings that reminded Mace of married couples who'd been together for years. Sometimes they bickered about their upcoming assignments. Other times, they bantered about the stupidest things in the whole galaxy. Case in point, he overheard them arguing about whether a cheese could taste green or whichever colour it came in.

For the love of all things in the Force, how the kark could anyone taste colour? And green cheese sounded quite inedible.

He wanted nothing more than to hit both of them with that hammer and its rainbow-coloured handle.

A few days later, as he was walking down the hallways, he heard their familiar voices. Unsurprisingly, they were bickering yet again about another topic -- something about blue milk tasting different from purple milk.

However, he stopped listening as he felt severe pounding on the right side of his head. He swallowed back bile as his stomach churned intensely. The shatterpoints attacked him for the tenth time that day, even more worse now that the two idiots were nearby. Gritting his teeth and scrunching his forehead, he brought his hands to his head and let out a loud angry breath as he felt something snap inside of him.

He stalked around the bend and saw that the storage room at the end of the hallway was open. Without warning, he used the Force to push and shove the two men into the room, completely ignoring their surprised squawks (Obi-Wan) and indignant shouts (Anakin). He didn't miss the smirk from Anakin, nor the "what the Force" look from Obi-Wan. At this point, he simply didn't care. Once they were inside, with a wave of his hand, he slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Enough is enough! You two motherfuckers will stay in there until you two idiots kiss! I'm sick of your bullshit!"

Kriffing hell. I just projected my distant relative, Essel Jaksun.

Instead of feeling shame at losing his temper and using Essel Jaksun's favourite profanity, Mace felt instant relief as he felt the shatterpoints beginning to dim from their immense brightness. A sense of tranquillity he'd not felt in ages came over him, and he took several deep breaths as he reached into the Force for some more of that peace he'd been missing.

When he looked at the closed door, Obi-Wan and Anakin's love glittered through the Force. As if he'd developed x-ray vision, he knew that the two were finally kissing. The Force felt just right as it blessed the two. Before he could relax, though, that love he sensed turned heated, radiating so much pleasure that he felt like his own self would burn from their intense feelings.

Mace decided to strategically retreat.

He did not need be here. After all, it was the perfect time to invoke the "see no evil, hear no evil, and smell speak no evil".

*****

Six months later . . . 

Obi-Wan and Anakin were getting married, which Mace wasn't surprised about. What shocked him and nearly made him fall into one of the many fountains in the Room of a Thousand Fountains was when they asked him to be his best man, with Ahsoka as their maid of honour.

So shocked, that Mace once again projected Essel Jaksun. " . . . Are you motherfuckers for real?"

"Mace!" Obi-Wan chided.

"Aw, come on, Master -- I kind of like it when he goes into that mode. That profanity actually suits him," Anakin said with a smirk.

Mace took a deep breath before he could wipe that smirk off the very annoying motherfucking Chosen One. "Apologies."

There was a long silence before Obi-Wan said, "Do you accept?"

"Wouldn't someone like Vos or Plo be a better option?"

Anakin shrugged and announced in that aggravating sassy way of his, "They could be, but you're the one who brought us together. Don't tell me you forgot that storage room incident?"

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan exclaimed as he blushed hard.

"Come on, Master," Anakin retorted with a sulky expression. "It's the truth."

Before the two could get on with their infamous banter, Mace quickly interjected, "I'd be honoured."

"Excellent, my dear friend," Obi-Wan said with a pleased smile.

Mace didn't miss the soppy look from Anakin, and he quickly made another strategic retreat, but not without missing the joyful twinkling he saw in the shatterpoints.

This was why, when the Council started to complain about Obi-Wan and Anakin and their breaking of the Code, Mace unintentionally projected Essel Jaksun one more time.

"Man, fuck the motherfucking Code this one fucking time."

Everyone stared at him, and Mace just sat there and studied his fingernails, completely uncaring of anything at this point.

"Ignore, we shall," Yoda announced.

And that was the end of that. The wedding was beautiful, and if he shed a tear or two during the speeches, nobody dared say anything for fear of Mace channelling Essel Jaksun. Distant relative aside, Mace had unknowingly saved the galaxy, and it was all thanks to the shatterpoints that had made him suffer for years.

~ Fin ~

A03 URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52188289

#my fic #obikin #obikin fic #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #mace windu #based off a comic #mace windu had enough #essel jaksun needs to be a thing now

[venator-arts]

infinity stone are hearts of kyber

hey yall this is an explanatory post for my new fic infinity stones are hearts of kyber (pls check it out) based on this comic

if you're interested, please go read the fic first as thing contains spoilers

SPACE

Characters:

Obi-Wan Kenobi power: teleportation via knock-off World Between Worlds; can teleport as long as he can see/has an idea of where he needs to go; lightsaber will always return to closest ally attunement moment: seeing Qui-Gon stabbed

Planets/beings connected:

Lothal Loth Wolves Purgill

MIND

Characters:

Plo Koon power: enhanced battle meditation; stronger connection between him and those he is close to; gains memories of each of his men; because of this connection, he feels deaths in the force a lot stronger attunement moment: the malevolence

Rey power: psychometry; she connects with the minds of those who held/used the object, can understand some of the thoughts they may have had attunement moment: completing her lightsaber (which is actually a lightsaber staff cause i think thats cool)

Planets/beings connected:

Jedha - Holy City for Jedi; jedi hold mind stone in high esteem Father - idk man i included the other two and he fit the vibes; my notes say "Father is mind (yuh)"

POWER

Characters:

Mace Windu power: shatterpoint (i dont need to say more) attunement moment: learning shatterpoint

Planets/beings connected:

Coruscant - in the core of the planet from the old sith temple (sith love power) and the reason why a city planet hasn't collapsed Son - the dark side of the force

REALITY

Characters:

Palpatine power: reality manipulation (helps him with all his evil sith things) attunement moment: idk do we really know anything abt this man

Maul power: went mad from being chopped in half and teleported to a random planet and holding onto a Shard that he wasn't attuned to; later allowed him to see through palpatine's plan

Planets/beings connected:

Mortis - self-explanatory Mortis gods - all three are connected in the loosest sense while having stronger connections to other stones

TIME

Characters:

Qui-Gon Jinn power: able to learn force ghost things; can look into certain significant events (eg. his death) attunement moment: ambiguous, i think it happened along the way

Yoda power: visions; extension of life attunement moment: Force Priestess saying he can learn from Qui-Gon how to ghost

Luke Skywalker power: visions of past, present and future attunement moment: healing a bleeding crystal (this bit is canon from comics i looked it up)

Planets/beings connected:

Takodana and Maz Kanata - Maz is the guardian of the stone that is in the planet's core (it's why she's so incredibly old) and time moves different in pockets of the world which i made up Morai - lil green owl that follows ahsoka, led ezra to find her in the World Between Worlds

SOUL

Characters:

Cal Kestis power: psychometry/force echoes; connects with the souls of the people using the object (also i play him with an orange saber cause i think its cool) attunement moment: collecting his crystal on Ilum

Planets/beings connected:

Vormir and Red Skull - only actual crossover with mcu cause i couldn't be bothered to think of a planet that fit Daughter - gave her soul to save ahsoka

#rosi's fic tag #star wars #star wars original trilogy #star wars prequels #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars fallen order #star wars the clone wars #mcu #marvel #infinity stones #fanfic #star wars fanfiction #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #master yoda #luke skywalker #ahsoka tano #cal kestis #darth maul #palpatine #plo koon #rey #mortis gods #mace windu

[queenofthedwarrows]

I must share this mental image I just had of little baby Leia with Mace. Like nobody dies, no Order 66, and Anakin doesn't fall. It's post the war, Anakin partially leaves the order to be a hands on Dad, but still comes to the temple to teach different mechanical & Droid classes, as well as help out with saber lessons. It works out great cause the Twins get to hang out with other baby & tiny jedi but get to spend the evenings with their parents.

But back to my point just Yoda & Ashoka are very put out cause every since she was months old Leia has always preferred to be with Mace, and Mace not so secretly enjoys it as well. Usually having a three year sitting on your lap coloring would cut down on your intimidation factor when yelling at way word padiwans & knights, but some how with Leia & Mace it's more.

By the time Leia is six Depa has taken to calling her her little padwan sister, and Obi-Wan & Anakin thinks it's the funniest thing in the world that Mace is gonna end up with a Skywalker Padwan despite all his annoyance & grumbling over Anakin. And eventually Leia does become Mace's padwan, and he helps Leia control the bits that she shares with her Father that almost cause him to Fall. She ends up with purple blade of her own, and five years after she's knighted she comes back to the temple with tales of some scoundrel smuggler & his wookie companion that cause Mace a migraine almost worse then a shatterpoint. But its all worth it when year later Mace finds himself presented with a babe full of dark hair named in his honor.

#just the idea hit of mace & leia & now im full of feels #mace windu #leia organa #star wars #star wars au

[elismor]

If the prophecies are true-if Anakin Skywalker is truly the Chosen One, who will bring balance to the Force then he is the most important being alive today. And he is alive today because my Jedi instincts were working just fine. Because my mistake on Geonosis wasn't a mistake at all. If I had done as Depa said I should have-if I had won the Clone War with a baradium bomb on Geonosis- I would have lost the real war. The Jedi's war. 

Anakin Skywalker may be the shatterpoint of our war against the jungle. If he is-if Anakin is the being born to win that war-it does not matter if every other Jedi in the galaxy dies. As long as Anakin lives, we have hope. No matter how dark it gets, or how lost our cause may seem. He is our new hope for a Jedi future. 

-Matthew Stover, Shatterpoint

I finished Shatterpoint this morning and there were lots of things I liked about it (and one I did not), but this bit from the closing lines just kind of slays me. 

One of the things that canon doesn’t really seem to address about the prophecy--with rare exception--is the idea that in order for balance to come, darkness has to come, too.

And, yes, I know that this is Legends, not Canon, but...I don’t actually care? Because here, Mace is getting at the heart of that. Having just survived his own brush with the dark and watching Depa Billaba fall to hers, having seen what force-users who embrace the dark can do and how horrific it can be, he understands that fulfilling the prophecy probably won’t be a pleasant experience, but he sees how critical it is that Anakin be allowed to play whatever role he is supposed to.

You go, Mace Windu.

it does not matter if every other Jedi in the galaxy dies. As long as Anakin lives, we have hope. No matter how dark it gets, or how lost our cause may seem.

Gah. Such excellent foreshadowing. I need to go lie down. Aside from that, I would highly recommend the book to fic-writers and anyone who is interested in detailed examples of what can be done through use of the Force. And to anyone else who thinks that Mace is a flat character. And to anyone who wonders what force-users who are not jedi might be capable of. What didn’t I like? The battle scenes. They were too long for my tastes, though I suspect people who are into that sort of thing found them great.

Also? Mace’s unique Force ability is hella cool.

#shatterpoint #mace windu #star wars #the chosen one #blue harvest

[raj-veerapen]

Shatterpoint

Location: Xavier’s Penthouse Time: About a month and a half after Ship-Wrecked wrapped Featuring: Raj and Xavier @xaviernottheprofessor  Note: THE SADS ARE HERE

Raj had been in a strange, angry mood from the moment that Amaya had told him that she had enrolled part time at the university and that Xavier was paying her tuition. On the one hand, he was glad that she was pursing her education, that Amaya had actually completely on her own come up with a plan b in her own way. On the other, Raj felt guilty. Amaya had always told him that she didn't want to go to college, that she didn't see the point when she already had her career, and he had supported her. And had he known the truth, he would have figured out a way to make it work. Maybe he would have gotten a second job, or taken on more shifts at the bar, but he could have figured it out.

And instead it just felt like his daughter felt like she couldn't provide for her, so Amaya found someone that could.

With time, you'll get over it, Raj kept trying to tell himself as he went into Xavier's hotel room, and for the millionth time had to wonder what was the point in having such a giant hotel room. Which was another thing that he had been keeping to himself, but it was so hard not to just guess at the price tag (especially when one night Raj had been particularly curious and had looked at how much it cost and immediately regretted looking). "Hey," he said, trying to give his boyfriend a smile, "You sounded excited earlier, what's up?"

Xavier had been working on some sketch writing so that he would have time to spend with Raj and Amaya that night. He had pre-planned having them come over for dinner. He'd cook and hopefully have the chance to reveal the good news. With that, he had hoped to talk more about Amaya's request to attend University. It had definitely come to mind that Raj needed to know and that he didn't want to overstep. She had come to him in private and had even asked that it stays between them but there was no way he'd keep this quiet. He would never keep anything from Raj and he didn't want to cause any problems. All of that he would talk about over dinner before the big surprise.

Anyone that knew Xavier knew how excited he had been about finding a place in California. It meant he'd be able to call a place a home, spend more time there, and share it with Raj and Amaya. When they had initially talked about the prospects of moving, he knew it was a touchy subject with Raj not wanting something too obnoxious. He would take all of that into consideration including Amaya's wish for a space to dance. Xavier just wanted them near and out of the apartment they had been sharing with Raj's roommates.

Raj already had a key card to the suite and when he heard someone at the door, he really hoped it wasn't work-related. Poking his head out from the other room and catching Raj's smile, Xavier stood up and walked over to him, pressing a kiss to his lips. "Well, I was going to wait for Amaya to join us for dinner but I had to tell you first and talk to you about my conversation with her earlier first, how was your day? I missed you. I always look forward to Thursdays because I can see you."

"If it's about her going back to school, she ended up telling me the day after you left," Raj admitted, working hard to keep his voice neutral so that he would be able to keep all of his mixed feelings out of it. And even then, there was still an edge to it that wasn't typically there that he couldn't help but hope Xavier would miss. "My day was pretty boring, we had a bachelorette party last night that somehow missed the vibe of the bar and we ended up having to clean until 4:30 this morning, but my boss let me have tonight off as a result so I'm all yours."

"Oh. Well, I'm glad she told you. I wanted to talk to you about it as well and make sure everything is alright with that." He searched Raj's face for any signs of him being upset or glad or neither. For the first time in their time together, Xavier couldn't gauge his boyfriend. "Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. You must be exhausted. I'll make you a nice dinner and pamper the shit out of you?" He smiled, taking Raj's hand so they could go sit on the sofa. "All mine. I love the sounds of that. I honestly just want to cuddle up on the couch and talk. I've heard back from my realtor, the one Thomas hooked me up with and they've been amazing. There's this place, Raj that I can't wait to show you."

"Yeah, everything's fine," Raj insisted, even though he was lying through his teeth, "I just didn't realize that she had been interested in going back so it was a little bit of a shock," he admitted, hoping that would explain away any weirdness that he was going on.  "Really, it's fine, I'd rather help make dinner, I got a full night's....well technically day's sleep," Raj assured him as he sat next to him on the couch. Part of him wanted to just rest his head on Xavier's shoulder and ignore everything else, but he figured that he could nod through the listing and actually have time to think about it later. "Okay, let's see it," he nodded. (edited)

"Okay." He offered Raj a smile, choosing to lean in to steal another kiss once they were both sitting on the sofa. "I know it happened so fast and I wanted to talk to you about it. I'm glad she told you though. That makes me happy hearing she's open with you about it." Xavier wished Raj let him pamper him here and there. It did feel like pulling teeth often. While Xavier knew it wasn't purposeful or to hurt his feelings, he did want to do more. Acts of service were his love language but he understood Raj had difficulty accepting gifts. "Alright, we can cook together, then." He reached for the sheet sitting on the coffee table and excitedly handed it to his boyfriend. "It's a beautiful place. I've only done the virtual tour because of work and all but it has a huge space for Amaya's dance studio and the garden is perfect for you. We can get some tomatoes and basil and all of that going! I just know how much you will love it. There's this family that is going to leave a big offer on it so I left one too. I lowballed on purpose. Gives us time to counter if you like it. If not, I'll drop the offer altogether."

It was habit to look at the price first, and Raj's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the price tag on the house. 19.5 million dollars. 19.5 million dollars. It was more money than Raj had ever thought possible for one person to have. It was the kind of money that if he had all of it would have already been given away instead of being used on something like this. It was already hard enough to wrap his mind around the fact that the penthouse they were currently in cost more in two days than Raj made in a year, but this......this was the line that was crossed into everything being too much.

On the island, everything about their relationship made it feel like they had a partnership. But now, Raj just felt the opposite. Xavier was making all the decisions, paying for everything, and even seemed to have issues with Raj wanting to help with simple things like cooking: things that Raj had been looking forward to them being able to do together.

It was starting to feel Raj wasn't even there. And him being able to contribute to their life? Well that clearly wasn't going to happen any time soon either.

"You already made an offer?" Raj asked, with some of the pent up anger that he had been holding in for he wasn't even sure how long, "You really couldn't have spent five seconds and texted me the listing and asked what I thought first?"

Nothing. There was no reaction at first but Xavier knew Raj well enough to know he wasn't exactly thrilled. And now that Raj had posed the question, Xavier felt awful. Something that was meant to be a surprise, a step in a new direction, a future for the three of them definitely now felt like he had overstepped.

"I..." He took the listing back and folded it before placing it back on the table. "That's not it at all but i see why it looks that way. I just wanted to surprise you but I know I've fucked up and I'm sorry. I should have come to you first. Look. Just forget the whole thing, I'll let the offer fall through and we can look for something else together. I'm sorry, baby I wasn't-- I wasn't trying to over step here."

For the first time since they got back, Raj wished that they were back on the island. Everything worked there when they didn't have to worry about anything like this, it was the beauty of it.

But in real life? The chances of them ever meeting were practically zero, and Raj was starting to see the reason why.

"I don't want you to surprise me. I hate surprises and literally anyone who actually gets to know me fucking knows that, Xavier!" the words came out of his mouth before Raj could stop them, "And then Amaya.........." his voice cracked in a way that Raj hadn't expected and he could feel tears about to fall that he wasn't about to get into. "This isn't working," he finally quietly said. It felt final, and Raj hated it, but with how things were going, it also felt inevitable.

The world could have swallowed him whole and he would have been okay with it. Xavier swallowed the lump that had been forming in his throat as Raj vented. He was right. Of course he knew. But the prospects of a house was always part of the plan or rather, his plan. Had Xavier really ignored the obvious?

"I know. I'm sorry I thought this would have been different because it was something...no, nevermind. I'm not going to make excuses for myself." He wanted to tell him, tell him how much he just wanted to do things for Raj but it would only make matters worse. Suddenly he just wanted to puke. The words, the change in Raj's tone would have been transparent for anyone else but at that moment, Xavier wasn't thinking about things fatalistically.

"Um." He cleared his throat and straightened his back, shaking his  head as the tears formed in his eyes. "Right. Its not so...okay so no more." He took the paper and tore it up. "We don't have to do this. We could...just find something together. And Amaya...the tuition. I shouldn't have said yes. But I do know you. Let me make this right." 

"Xavier we can't make this right, when this isn't going to work," Raj said, blinking back tears, "you're literally living in a hotel room that costs more in two days than I make in a year, and you now want to buy a 19.5 million dollar house, and I can't even get my daughter to tell me that she wants to go to college out of fear that we won't be able to afford it. We live in two different worlds, and it's just becoming really clear that I can't even contribute to whatever this is. I wanted a partnership, but if you don't even want me to contribute to anything or like you don't even want me helping with things as easy as dinner. I just can't just sit here and look nice while you do everything, that's not who I am. And I just don't fit here."

Hearing Raj's words felt wrong. They felt distorted as if Xavier had just entered some other dimension. How could his boyfriend just give up like this? "Wait, hold on. This isn't going to work? Do you really believe that? You're acting as if I put myself in this room? It's part of my contract now that I've taken up the series as well.  We've been talking about this house. I shouldn't have given an offer. yes, you're right and I have no explanation for that. I know I was wrong, I'm acknowledging that. I would live anywhere as long as it's with you." He wiped his eyes quickly, trying his best not to crack. "And the thing with Amaya, I wanted to discuss with you ASAP, that's why I wanted to see you before dinner. She had a deadline...and I know she should have confided in you about wanting to go to University. That was wrong and I told her to be honest with you always." He sighed and stood up from the sofa. "You contribute. You more than contribute. You're the heart and soul of this relationship.  You're my best friend. I don't talk to anyone else like I do with you and you're really just ready to throw what we have away because we can't talk about things? IF this is how you have felt, why haven't you told me? DO you really think I wouldn't have been down to talk about it all? This IS a partnership! What do you call the last couple of months, then? I never said I didn't want you to contribute but dammit, Raj sometimes I want to do things for you without being made to feel like I shouldn't or I'm the villain for the money things cost. I could be a good person and still want to give you things. And I know the house is overboard, I see that but I really wish you would have told me how you felt before dropping the this isn't going to work bomb." ] He took a deep breath, letting the tears fall now. "God, you're making me sound like I've just kept you around like some sort of artifact in my life. Is that what you think? Do you really think I just see you as someone that stands around looking nice? I can't believe I'm hearing all of this right now. You're really willing to just close this door on us? You fit in fine. You fit here. With me. Isn't that what matters. You fit here." 

"And did you never think to tell the show, "hey there's definitely nice places that you could could put me up that don't cost $18,000 a night and then use the money that they're saving on something that actually helps people? Because at the very least they could have used that as a tax write off to pretend to look like they actually cared about people," Raj snapped, the words just pouring out of him. "And I wish that I had realized it sooner, I really do, but something's just felt off since we got back and I just thought that maybe it was just because we were so used to being on the island together. But lately every damn day feels like I'm giving up another piece of myself to make sure that you're happy and I can't keep doing that, and it's not fair to either of us. And like if you want to do something for me then like volunteer or donate money to a cause that I like, but like you're over here instead forcing me to sit out of everything that I imagined us doing together under the whole guise of "just wanting to do things for me" is fucking bullshit. If this was really a partnership you would have stopped Amaya and pulled me into the conversation right away, or you would have sent me house listings so we could search together, or you'd stop having that hurt look right away whenever I want to do something as simple as cook with you. Or you’d even would have asked me what my budget was like so that I could help contribute to our life instead of immediately paying for everything. Like I’m glad that you think that I fit in here, but I didn’t sign up to be your fucking charity case. And I know that’s not what you meant to do, but the money might not be that important to you, but it is to me. And it’s so obvious that you’ve been ignoring how uncomfortable all of this even makes me.” 

He was going to be sick, he was sure of it. At this point, Xavier could no longer hide his hurt and he was crying as Raj spoke. "So that's my fault? They have contracts with these places, Raj. You're making it sound like I don't really care about people. Did I not talk to you in detail about the plans I have for my charities? You're literally heading up some of my fundraisers. I'm not here wearing mink and spitting on the homeless for Godsakes! Taking up the hotel room my management puts me in doesn't make me a bad person!" Raj saying that he wished he had realized it all sooner was a bigger slap in the face. "Forcing you, Raj? Forcing? Really? That's how you really feel about me, about our relationship?" HE took a deep breath, turning his back a little to pinch the bridge of his nose as his tears fell freely. Xavier sniffled the away, wiping them as much as they could and without facing Raj, he continued. "I love it when you cook with me. I wanted to do something for you after a long day. I wanted to do something for you because I've missed you so fucking much. I don't want to make you uncomfortable and I'm if you think I'm standing around ignoring your feelings and I'm some sort of villain then so be it. I don't know what else to tell you. You've made up your mind. Amaya is an adult and I told her to speak with you and she did. We could have talked about this, all of it. Any mistake, feeling, transgression, we could have talked this over but instead, you're choosing to leave!" He turned to face Raj, wiping his face with the back of his arm. "You didn't sign up to be my fucking charity case. How could you diminish my feelings and love for you to that? How could you do that, Raj? I'm sorry for ever hurting you but you're not the only one hurt. That's not how I see you and if you can't see how much I love and care about you and Amaya, I don't know what else to say." He took a deep breath, dark eyes trained on him. "Just say you don't want to be in this relationship, then. I'd rather hear it for what it is."

"I do see it and I do fucking love you and that's the problem," Raj sighed, "because both of us are going to keep hurting each other, and giving up pieces of ourselves that we shouldn't have to. I wish that being with you was enough, I really do, but these problems are going to keep coming up and keep getting worse, and I can't keep hurting you. So it's better to walk away before we both hate each other," Raj said, setting his key card down on the counter. "I'm really sorry, but......it's just not going to work," he said, "so I'm just.......I've got to go," he said, not letting himself look back, not letting himself say "I love you" one last time. Not letting himself feel how much his heart was crumbling.

Xavier, even though he had asked for the words to come out, he wasn't ready. He'd never be ready and perhaps it spoke volumes of how he felt about Raj. He had promised himself he'd never let this go, never give up on something this special but Raj was willing. "I would give up everything for you. I will give up all of it. I will literally, Raj, I can't put into words what I'd do to be with you because I've never loved someone like this. Why do you want to give up on us? I don't care about money. I don't. I know you do and I swear to God I will give it all away right now. I'll do it. Don't do this, please." He probably sounded pathetic and there was a small part of him that wondered if Raj thought so too. He looked over to the key card and then up at Raj with pleading eyes. "Why do you keep saying that? You don't even want to try!" He followed him out, standing in the hallway. "Raj! Raj! I love you, don't go. Please...." He took a few steps in the other's direction but he wouldn't turn back.

Raj wanted to turn around, but he was sure that if he did he wouldn't forgive himself later. As much as he knew their lives wouldn't intersect, he also couldn't let Xavier give everything that he had worked so hard to develop for him either. There were two extremes, and neither of them were the right choice. And it hurt. So. Fucking. Bad. "I'm sorry," Raj quietly said, his voice cracking as he couldn't stop the tears from falling as he got in the elevator.

~ ~  ~

"Two minutes, Xavier." He looked up from his chair, nodding with a small smile. He had been exceptionally irritable and he knew that doing comedy wasn't exactly the best idea right now but it wasn't like he could call out. Xavier had been staring at his phone, staring at the four unanswered text messages he had sent Raj. By now, the country knew about the break-up. It was gross and intrusive and he hated it and if he hated it so did Raj. Stupid Ship Wrecked. If he could do it all over again, he probably wouldn't. It had been a week now and he was back in NYC with no real intent to return. The offer on the house had been accepted and since he was in no mood to respond, that was an indication to move forward. Before he knew it, he had a house in contract ready to close in about a month. It's okay, he'd resell it. It sounded wasteful because it was. He didn't care. He just couldn't bring himself to care about much. Clayton kept sending him stupid memes followed by a "did you eat today?"

Again, none of that mattered. Instead, he would spend the next minute and a half running his thumb over Raj's name in his phone. "Fuck it." And so he typed.

"I'll be in California next week. Maybe we can meet for coffee? Please at least let me know you're doing okay. That's all I ask."

~~~ A week has gone, two weeks in. I'll be staying in NYC longer than expected. You'd love this place called the Witch's Brew. Miss you."

Before he knew it, it had been a month, some texts in between, nothing major and nothing on the receiving end.  "Reading you loud and clear. Have a nice life, Raj." Xavier never felt so empty.

#shatterpoint #xavier

[nevertheless-moving]

Could you talk more about your gumbo jar jar au or the frog one? 🐸

hm on close review the frog promise draft is a now redundant drabble from this au. Here it is in its entirety:

“I will never join you,” Luke said with a sneer of disgust.

Palpatine, as well as the nearby politicians, Jedi masters, and reporters were taken aback. 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand your meaning, Master Jedi,” the Senator said incredulously. “Do you mean to tell me that you consider yourself separate from the Republic? I know the Jedi Council had disavowed recognizing you but I never could have imagined...” he trailed off, leaving the crowd to murmur in alarm.

“I mean I will never join the Sith,” the rogue master replied calmly. “I imagine you’re responsible for the traces of the dark side I felt amongst the trade federation leaders.”

“The Sith...I see.” Palpatine took a step back, deliberately reassuring tone and alarmed expression clearly indicated that he suspected the man before him of insanity. “It’s been a very long day and you clearly intended to do good by my humble home world. Perhaps your fellow Jedi can take you to the healers so you can-”

“Why are you working alongside a Sith Lord?” Luke cut off the Senator and addressed Grandmaster Yoda directly. 

“A Sith Lord, you say?” Master Yoda replied. “A most serious allegation, this is.”

Basically, Luke derails the Naboo Crisis by absolutely annihilating the trade federation army, only realizing after the fact when and where he is. This means that Padme turns right around from Tatooine and never voices her vote of no-confidence. Now, Palpatine probably had contingency plans in place, but the public accusation by a Jedi of being responsible for the crisis in the first place, despite absolutely no evidence, hurts his image enough that he’s not going to win a vote, because people will think it’s a power grab. 

And it’s funny cause it’s true but Luke only barely knows that! He’s just accusing Palpatine of being behind the first evil thing he sees and he fuckin happens to be right!!!

Anyway Luke doesn’t focus on Palpatine; there are like 10,000 other Jedi around. He commits himself first and foremost to completing his training with Master Yoda because sometime Yoda just dies and fades into thin air so, you know! He’s not going to procrastinate on that again!

He goes before the council and humbly asks to be taken on Yoda’s student (this is right before Qui-Gon can ask about Anakin- literally, Anakin and Qui-Gon are in the waiting room). He gives several extremely vague banthashit explanations of who he is ‘I’m a follower of the Force,’ where he comes from ‘the Force sent me,’ and why they should train him when he’s way too old ‘the Force willed it.’ Yoda is somewhat impressed because those are some real unhelpfully wise answers and- here’s the kicker- Luke actually believes them! 

He is really committed to being a Jedi! Is 110% all about being a luminous being! This is several years after return of the Jedi and Luke has pretty much just been hanging out in force temples meditating with ghosts so he has quintessential Jedi vibes, he just knows jackshit about anything!

What really clinches it for Yoda is the fact that his robe pocket starts squirming and he pulls out a live Nabooian Salt Frog. And hands it to Yoda like, “These are one of your favorites right? :) I saw it and I thought of you :)”

Now Yoda- let’s step back a second. Yoda is old. Yoda, in his youth, was a bit more feral. He’s a top level predator and the order has always celebrated diversity and being true to your origins! He’s hunted with Tortugans on Shili! He’s unhinged his jaw with Besalisks on Ojom! 

But as the Republic’s boundaries caved in on themselves, he was more and more put into contact with Core senators who tend to be unnerved by more, ah, carnivorous tendencies. And the more he was put into high level positions by virtue of being really frickin old, the more restrained he became in his public behavior. 

Decades passed and younglings who only ever knew his more ‘harmless-prank’ feral tendencies were increasingly shocked and scared to see him occasionally unhinge his jaw to eat a scrocodile whole. Some of the prey-origin younglings from that field trip actually avoided him for the rest of the their lives.

So. Yoda is still a carnivore- but- in private. With his padawans and his closest peers. But his closest peers age and die and his padawans get younger and smaller as the decades pass. He took on two herbivorous padawans in a row and as a result restrained himself from openly hunting with another soul for around for 50 years.

And then there’s Dooku. ‘Ah a human,’ he thinks. ‘They hunt sometimes. Well. They’re omnivores at least.’

And Dooku is- and I’m not saying this to shame Dooku- but he’s prissy. He likes...neatness. He’s not afraid of violence but force forbid it’s untidy. So when Yoda, excited to get his ambush predation on, takes 14 year old Dooku who’s barely ever left the sterile confines of Coruscant on a trip to a swamp world- yeaaahh it doesn’t go well. Dooku- he doesn’t mean to, honestly. How would he even know that Yoda might be sensitive about things? He’s Yoda. 

But Dooku sobbing openly and puking a little in a bush and running away from Yoda because his Master is terrifying and gross. It... kind of puts the nail in the coffin for Yoda being open about that side of himself. He doesn’t really have it in him to try again. People’s view of him is too fixed, they can’t handle him also being a flesh creature so he focuses on the luminous side of him which is and always was, genuinely, more important than him.

And that’s been the last 100 years or so. The thrill of a live kill is just a little piece of himself that he meditates away and that’s ok. He has the force. He has the order. He’s old anyway, a real hunt would probably hurt his joints. 

And then in comes Luke, radiating Light and earnestness and Jedi serenity while also holding out a very tasty looking live frog. And Yoda realizes Dooku’s not around, he’s surrounded by a council he trusts and respects and likes, none of whom are 14 year olds, all of whom have seen the galaxy and seen worse. He is almost seizing the moment but there’s a little part of him that shriveled up when Dooku cried that’s having a hard time accepting this.

“Want it for yourself, you do not?” Yoda cackles, playing off the offer.

Luke smiles sheepishly and pulls out another live frog. “I was saving it for later. Forgive me Master, your senses are keen as ever I see.”

And Yoda...it’s not about the bribe, really, so much as the symbolism, and it’s not about the flattery either, but darn is the kid really pulling out the stops to make himself likable. And he is a kid, to Yoda anyway. Everyone is these days. What does he care about numbers when there’s a boy smiling like his third padawan, an adorable Rodian who took great delight in their more amphibious and wild missions?

Yoda snatches one of the frogs and slowly raises it in a parody of a toast. Luke does the same. The rest of the council quietly watches in various shades of bewilderment and bemusement.

They’re not actually going to eat that right? Mace thinks. Ugh I hate frogs the skin is so slimy. Shaak Ti thinks. I cannot believe they’re not even offering me one. Yaddle thinks.

And Yoda bites the head off the frog in a quick snap of his jaws, the rest following rapidly. Luke does the same- a slight assist from the force helping his less specialized mandible tear through skin and bone in a well practiced move. He chews slower, but finishes the frog soon enough, the rest of the council looking on with deep uncertainty and a tiny bit of hunger, but no actual fear. They’re Jedi Masters; they’ve eaten everywhere, it’s just a little weird for a human to be eating a live animal and Yoda as far as anyone knew only ate stew and also they were in the middle of a council meeting.

Yoda belches and Luke smiles genially.

“Take you on as my padawan learner, I will. Much to learn you have, much to teach you, I do.”

Luke beams. The council looks on in shock. 

“Master Yoda,” Mace Windu says hesitantly, “He’s clearly in his late 20s, at the earliest. If this is about the... frog thing-”

“Was a pleasant surprise, the frog. The reason for my decision, it is not. Had some training already, he has. Know each other before this day, we do. Taking over for a Master passed into the force, I am merely. Our custom, this is.”

Luke bows lowly and an initiate is summoned to escort him to the quartermasters and then the long-empty padawan suite next to Yoda’s chambers. 

Qui-Gon and Anakin are brought in and. Well. It’s a little hard for them to simply reject the boy after Yoda just pulled that stunt. He’s sent to the initiates dorm, eventually. Mace Windu has a headache from the shatterpoints blinking in and out of existence. Shaak Ti is delighted to discuss a hunting trip with Master Yoda and his new padawan learner Luke Svader. 

The force dances.

#Anonymous #ask #300 celebration #star wars #my au #star wars au #frog promise au #yoda #star wars au no 29 #nevertheless meta #luke skywalker eats frogs

[transmalewife]

Alright, let's talk about attachment

I can’t find clear information on when exactly the non-attachment rule was added to the code. It was either soon before or soon after the great sith war. Either way, for the VAST majority of the existence of the Jedi, it wasn’t a thing. Jedi got married and had families for over 20000 years, then added the non-attachment rule, which ultimately led to their destruction. And before anyone tries to tell me I believe they deserved to be genocided, I don’t. I have never actually seen anyone say that, but I see people argue against it constantly, and imply anyone who doesn’t think the Jedi were perfect and blameless thinks that. I don’t think they deserved to die, I think they needed to change. And Yoda says that himself, many times. The Jedi weren’t prepared for the return of the sith, or the war. They had separated from the military 1000 years before, and the galaxy was in relative peace all this time, so the order’s role changed to one that worked very well with their rules. Detachment meant they could be impartial when overseeing political disagreements, lack of possessions meant they would be focused on the mission at hand and not prone to taking bribes, and distancing themselves from the general population meant they were more or less uniform, and could be trusted not to side with someone for personal reasons.

All of this falls apart once they become an army again. Impartiality is a flaw when they have to defend one side at all cost and not even allow themselves to consider compromise. Lack of possessions and attachment to people means they are prone to taking unnecessary risks, because they have nothing to lose, and do things like send 14 year olds into battle, thinking of the “greater good” over the safety of children. And the order being a monolith, with set rules and philosophy distinct from the rest of the population meant the Jedi trusted Dooku long after they should have stopped, because he used to be a Jedi after all, surely he still follows the code.

Now, I am not saying non-attachment is always bad, I think it served a very specific purpose in the order, and to some extent worked for many years. However.

Humans are a social species. Human babies NEED physical contact and affection to develop physically. Children need a stable, strong, and supportive relationship to their caregiver to properly develop psychologically. And after last year I don’t think anyone will argue that adults don't need connection with other people just as much. And not just shallow interactions, but open affection and love. Love of any kind, because claiming that the Jedi only forbid romantic love is just untrue. I think people tend to forget that "Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love." isn’t the actual doctrine, it’s a literal pick up line that Anakin uses on Padme.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan both get criticized by other Jedi for their entirely platonic attachment to Anakin, and vice versa. Now, humans are the most common species in the galaxy, and in the Jedi order. Many other species are near-human, so it’s safe to assume at least some, if not most of them also need that companionship and affection to develop and live happy and stable lives. I do believe that non-attachment is a valid philosophy and chosen path in life if done carefully and within reason, I just don’t think we have a single major character that actually applies to. And chosen is an important word here. Jedi don’t get much of a choice. I’m not trying to start the baby-stealing debate here. I hear the argument of ‘force sensitives are dangerous if left untrained, and said training should start as early as possible’. I think finding a way to deal with that problem was an insanely complicated decision, and taking children into the temple as young as possible is not a bad solution. I don’t entirely agree with not letting them see their families later, (especially since in legends Obi-Wan was allowed to visit his family, which implies Anakin couldn’t go free his mother specifically because he was already too attached), but the idea is sound. I do also understand that no one is forcing Jedi to stay in the order and they can leave for whatever reason at any time. But that isn’t exactly a free choice either. Leaving the order means leaving the only home you remember, the only people you know to make your own way in the galaxy, and staying with those people means you can never fully love them. It’s a difficult solution to a complicated question, and for the most part, it worked (not always, and not exactly as intended, but I’ll come back to that.) Children grew up in the order, were trained to control themselves and the force, and became Jedi who were impartial, patient, and balanced. But everything falls apart when you introduce someone who wasn’t raised in the temple.

In The Rising Force, 13 year old Obi-Wan had barely been off Coruscant in his life. He describes himself as sheltered and unaware of all the pain in the galaxy, and says it was done on purpose, so younglings wouldn’t have to face the dark side before they were ready for it. But Anakin had seen nothing but darkness, pain and injustice before he joined the order. He was severely traumatized, and while the temple might have had some ways of dealing with trauma and PTSD in adults, they had no experience in treating the same in a child, because their children were kept safe and protected. The idea of letting go of your pain and fear only works if you know you have a safe place to come back to, if you’ve spent the first decade or so of your life in the most protected place in the galaxy. Anakin spent the first decade of his life as a slave. He couldn’t let go of his fear, because fear was what kept him alive. Fear is not irrational if you are constantly in danger, it’s what protects you, keeps you aware of the limits you can push before you get punished. And that mindset doesn’t fade just because you’re out of that situation, especially if your only family, the closest person to you, is still facing that danger every day.

I’ve seen people use every excuse possible to explain why Anakin didn’t see his mother again to avoid blaming the council, including, and I shit you not, “He just didn’t have her comm number”. But to me that seems disingenuous, when we see in his first meeting with the council that they already consider him too attached. It's one of the main reasons they don’t want him to be trained, so it seems logical that they wouldn’t allow him to see her once he became a padawan. I also want to mention that what Yoda says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Is just… blatant catastrophizing. Right? Like we can all see that the escalation is not rational there at all. Maybe it could apply to something else, but not to a child who just left his mother for the first time in his life and went from a tiny dustball in the middle of nowhere to the most populated planet in the galaxy, and is now being tested by a bunch of old people with the power to decide his future. Obviously he’s afraid, and obviously he’s not dealing with it the way Jedi younglings do. That, in and of itself doesn't doom him to fall. Also what Yoda misses there is that suffering leads to fear. This is a closed loop, and one that has defined Anakin’s entire childhood.

Let’s come back to how the system doesn’t always work. The way I see it, most of the characters we see are attached. Obi-Wan is considered one of the greatest Jedi of his time. Windu describes him as “our most cunning and insightful Master—and our most tenacious”. And yet, he was not insightful enough to look past his love for Anakin, his attachment, and see how close to falling he was. Ahsoka was so attached to Anakin she refused to listen to Maul on Mandalore, refused to even consider the posibility he could fall. She was arguably the person with the best shot at preventing the empire forming at that point, and she loved anakin so much she doomed him and the entire galaxy. Aayla admitted to thinking of Quinlan as her father, and also, apparently in legends had a long relationship with Kit. Even Mace didn’t follow the code when he decided to kill Palpatine, which directly led to his death and the empire. He also indirectly caused the war to start. According to wookiepedia “Windu viewed Dooku as the shatterpoint of the entire Separatist movement, which meant striking Dooku down would theoretically end the imminent clone war before it even began. However, Windu's prior attachments to Dooku clouded his judgment.” I’m not even going to mention Kanan and Ezra, who are obviously family.

So basically everyone is attached and lying about it. How has no one thought that maybe this isn’t the healthiest way to live and tried to change the code? Well, I have a theory, and it’s Yoda. He was 900 years old when he died, and was on the council for the vast majority of his life. I can’t find when exactly he became grand master, but it’s safe to assume he held some degree of power over the entire order for most of a millennium. At the end of TPM he tells Obi-Wan “Confer on you the level of Jedi knight, the council does. But agree with your taking this boy as your padawan learner, I do not.” Then he reverses that decision by himself. So either he has the power to veto the council’s word, or who gets trained is entirely up to him. Either way, not great, considering his lifespan is so much longer than most Jedi, and therefore his approach to life is vastly different. Humans need love and closeness to live. However, while we don’t know much about Yoda’s species, it probably isn’t a social one. You could count all the characters of this species on two (human) hands, and Yoda lived in complete isolation for 20 years on Dagobah, and only went a little bit insane. They are naturally rare, and therefore probably lead solitary lives in nature. Moreover, Yoda outlived every master who trained him, and almost every padawan he trained himself, (there’s a great post about that here) so even if he wasn’t naturally predisposed to non-attachment, he would have had to learn it to deal with all the loss he had to live through over the years.

A lot of people think that Anakin fell because he had attachments, which is not true. He fell because of how his attachments played out and/or ended. The most obvious example being Palpatine, who used Anakin’s trust and friendship to groom him for over a decade and actively undermine Anakin’s trust towards anyone else, especially the order. (more on that here). Obi-Wan refused to take on the role of a father figure that Anakin tried to shove him into, so he turned to someone who did accept it. It’s not Anakin’s fault that it turned out to be the worst person alive, nor can we expect him to notice when he’s known Palpatine since he was a child. Another failure of jedi non-attachment, because a loving parent or guardian would not let their child be used as a bargaining chip when the most powerful politician in the galaxy blackmailed the order into allowing him to meet Anakin regularly, but a distant teacher and detached knight thinking of the greater good might. The other attachments Anakin had were taken from him (Shmi and Ahsoka, the last orchestrated by Palpatine who was fully ready to give her the death penalty to make Anakin more unstable), or he was forced to lie and hide them, compromising his vows as a Jedi (Padme) or refused to choose Anakin over the order/their principles (Obi-Wan, and again Ahsoka, and to some extent Padme, but he’d already fallen then). All these people had every right to make the choices they made, but it wasn’t the act of loving them that made Anakin turn to the dark side, it was how those attachments played out.

I think everyone agrees that Yoda is as detached as a Jedi should, if not can, be, and that didn’t prevent Dooku from falling. We see that explored in more detail with Barriss and Luminara. Luminara is detached and distant, she’s fond of Barriss, but their relationship is not familial in the slightest, and she repeatedly shows her willingness to put the greater good and the mission before Barriss’ safety and even life. And yet Barriss still falls. A complex combination of events and choices caused each of those characters to fall, not the simple presence or absence of attachment.

And lastly, just as attachment can make you unstable if your relationship with that person is unstable, it can also make you stronger. There is a reason Anakin and Obi-Wan were the face of the army. Not only did their obvious attachment (the strongest between two jedi we are shown) make them more relatable to the public, but they, when working as a team, are shown repeatedly to be more or less undefeatable. They spend half of aotc flinging themselves off great heights because they know the other will be there to catch them. They know from years of experience that they have backup and they know each other well enough (or force bond communicate) that they can trust the other will be where he needs to be to help/save them. Contrast that to how Windu and Palpatine fight in rots once the window breaks- very carefully, clearly holding back to keep themselves safe. Neither of them has backup until Anakin arrives, but until the last second they can't be sure which one he will choose. Anakin and Obi-Wan fight the same way on Mustafar, especially when balancing on that thin bridge. No acrobatics, swinging arms to keep balance, keeping their distance, being almost uncharacteristically careful compared to how they treated heights in aotc, in tcw, and on the invisible hand in rots, because they both know the other won't catch them if they fall this time.

#star wars meta #attachment #star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #yoda #jedi order #mine

[futuresafe]

Shattered Mirror

Rating: Gen. Words: 1387

“I have those readings you asked for.” Ikora says as she holds out a terminal.

Osiris goes to take it, “Excellent.”

Ikora draws it back just before he grabs it and narrows her eyes in suspicion. “First, tell me what you intend on doing with it.”

“Scouting. I need to figure out where the tear in our universe is. And if it can be mended.”

Ikora considers him for a moment, before looking at Sagira who floats beside Osiris’s shoulder. “Your thoughts, Sagira?”

“Ikora-”

“I think that it’s a bad idea. Last time we meddled in things we didn’t know anything about, it altered Osiris’s personal timeline.”

Ikora looks at him pointedly.

“This is different. The other one was for something… else, something with purpose. This is a dimensional tear.”

Ikora sighs and holds the terminal out again, “Fine. But it’s only for scouting. Don’t go anywhere inside of it.”

“Of course.” Osiris says as he grabs the terminal.

//UNMARKED SLINGSHOT ACHIEVED. ALERT. UNKNOWN ANOMALY DETECTED. ERROR. ERROR.//

//!DISENGAGE SLINGSHOT!//

//ALERT. UNKNOWN ANOMALY.//

//!DISENGAGE SLINGSHOT!// //SLINGSHOT DISENGAGED. ALERT. UNKNOWN ANOMALY NEARBY. STARBOARD. BOW. ERROR.//

Osiris stares out the window of his jumpship. Sagira floats nervously by, the light of her eye reflecting against the glass.

There is a crack in the void of space, white and rimmed with black. Refractions folding in on itself infinitely.

“You don’t have to do this, Osiris.”

Osiris closes his eyes and focuses, wreathing himself in the comfort of void light. He can see it. Imperceptible shatterpoints stretching across the dark expanse. Like glass.

He opens his eyes and attaches a mask to his helmet. Pressurising.

“We don’t know what kind of problems this will cause us in the future if this wound in the sky widens.”

“Which is why you should listen to Ikora and study it from a distance.”

His eyes meet hers.

An unsaid understanding spoken between them.

“Stay here.”

“No. Not this time.”

“Sagira, I can’t risk losing you again-”

“Then stop going places I can’t follow. I’m going with you.”

Osiris sighs as she decompiles into him. There’s nothing he can do to stop her, just as there’s nothing she can do to stop him.

He exits his jumpship manually, weightless in the void. He steps on feather-light to the edge of the crack. The crack is like a split into a geode, nothing to note on the outside, but an immense space on the inside. He hesitates before infinity.

“Whatever this anomaly is, I'm not reading anything. No energy, no Light, no Dark… It’s like it doesn’t exist.” Sagira speaks in his ear and all he can do is gaze inward.

Desire seizes his heart and he can’t stop himself from reaching out.

Infinity. A glass mirror, shattering, countless reflections of himself upon the shards. It stretches on forever. He is lightless. He is darkness. He is Light itself. He is metal. He is tired. He is young. He is old. He is dead. He is dead. He is dead.

He splits, and it is nothing like his projections of light.

He has no sense of up or down or left or right. He looks at his hands, he does not see his hands. He cannot move. Infinity yawns out before him, and he perceives it all.

He can feel his mind start to become unhinged. Time and space and countless possibilities crowd him.

He takes it all in.

He feels nauseous. He feels numb. He feels everything at once.

“Osiris!” Sagira’s voice echoes, repeating over and over until it is nothing but a high pitch tone.

It stops.

And he is alone.

There is nothing.

He doesn’t think he’s even breathing.

It is the void of void. There is no light here. There is no dark. He does not see.

Then, blinding light, and he’s back in his jumpship.

Sagira hovers nervously before his face.

He blinks and when he breathes it feels as though it’s for the first time. A coughing fit takes him and he quickly pulls off his pressurized mask. “Sagira…”

“Thank the Traveler… I had to pull you back to the jumpship… You weren’t responsive and I couldn’t do anything.”

Osiris catches his breath and leans back in his chair, exhaustion sweeping over him. “I think I saw infinity.”

Sagira regards him for a moment before dive-bombing him, metal clunking against his neckpiece. “Don’t ever do something so stupid again.”

Osiris places his hand on the back of her shell, holding her against his chest.

A beat.

“Let’s go home.”

His dreams have changed again.

The nightmares of the Traveler are being drowned out.

At first it’s nothing but that void of void. The lack of anything. Silence. Forever. He knows it is a dream because when he wakes, it is not the sense of a lack of a dream, but a sense of existential dread. Of seeing nothingness in its vastness. No breath. No light. No dark.

Emptiness.

Then infinity.

Each night the mirror shatters. Each night the echoes of the Traveler’s dreams are submerged under thick water, and he would almost prefer those to this.

This: he dreams he is lightless. Sagira is dead. She died on the moon, and he is alone. He hasn’t been out in the field in months. He is restless. He is angry. He is angry because he is full of grief. He does not let Saint close, he does not let Ikora close. He is busy, busy is good, busy means he is occupied. He is alone. It is not him.

He dreams he is lost. Cold fingers twitch as his anger consumes him, as his loss consumes him. Osiris flexes his hand. The hive die. They die and they die and it will never be enough. There will never be enough of their death to sate him. Revenge is a slippery slope, and he leapt down it, crashing to the ground hard and rejoicing in it. The Darkness feeds upon his pain, and he allows it. He feeds it on purpose.

He dreams he is luminant, light clothing him as though he were royalty. His steps scorch the earth in the searing light. He is a phoenix, dying and rising over and over with each breath. When will it end? He has no concept of death anymore, he has no concept of life. All he knows is that he is a light in the everlasting Darkness. Everyone else is dead, he thinks. Not him. (Will he ever die? Will he ever live?)

He dreams he is an Exo, gazing out of a colony ship’s window as stars fly past. His heart is heavy with loss, memories of a time long passed. Nostalgia eats at him as he tells children of what a Guardian was, of what the Traveler was. It tears at him when Saint gazes into his glowing, mechanical eyes. An unsaid understanding.

He dreams he is tired. The infinite forest echoes on forever and he is so tired of these halls. He is so tired of being alone. He is so tired of this life. He wants to go home, he wants to go back to the City. But he has work to do, and miles to go, and the City does not love him back.

He dreams he is still young, both in body and mind. There is a warmth that fills his chest when he gazes at a man he has never seen before, sitting at a table nursing a cup of warm tea. He’s speaking with him, he does not know what he is saying, only that he knows he was happy. There is no City in this dream, there are no Guardians. (Is this life before?) He does not remember his name.

He dreams he is old, withering. The sky ruptures and the ground shakes and he realizes that he will die. There is no escaping this fate. Darkness looms, angular shadows cast over his face. He will die, and he will stay dead.

He dreams he is dead.

He dreams he is dead.

He dreams he is dead.

Osiris wakes, and he is back in the arms of Saint-14. He exhales slowly and pushes back against him, impossibly close. (How does he know this is his reality? How does he know that he is himself?)

#my posts #my writing #osiris #osiris destiny #the context is too hard to explain #i just really like how i wrote this

[blackkatmagic]

Speaking of Cody and lightsabers, do you have any WIPs with force sensitive Cody? 'Cause that's such an interesting idea.

I have three!

1. Mace/Cody where Cody’s droid-kicking thing is actually him seeing shatterpoints and not realizing. Mace works with the 212th and sees him doing it, and promptly whisks him away to figure out what’s happening. 

2. Cody/Jon where the Jedi Order went underground a thousand years ago and the clones are all Force-sensitive, created to replace the Jedi, who everyone thinks died out. 

3. Cody/Kit with a similar premise to the above, except it’s Kit after his death getting slingshotted into a universe with Jedi!clones and trying to figure out what’s happened and how he can stay under the radar while teaching the clones how to actually be Jedi, given that they’re mostly operating on myths and legends and hearsay about what Jedi can do. 

#wip list #formosanaster

[marshthat]

I'm here for the 16-pages essay about Mace and Eeth :)

LMAO well you asked for that yourself hshsjhsjj *cracks knuckles*

It’s almoust 16 pages long in my google docs, I’m not kidding, so I’m gonna make a little intro and then hide the rest under the “keep reading” thing (also I’m going to shorten it a bit, but nothing significant will be left out, I promise)

Uhm so yes three things for the intro:

1. These takes are based mainly on my ship interpretation of the canon things, so yeah if you don’t want to see the ship material in them they can be easily disagreed with in terms of how correct I see the intentions of the characters behind their words and actions, but BUT you’re here for macekoth aren’t you? So for a macekoth shipper this is a list of totally canon endless happiness and we’ll go with that :)

2. LEGENDS CANON IS CANON (in my heart there is no decanonising of the EU, nooo, I pretend disney didn’t hurt me qwq)

3. I'm not a native speaker and my english is far from perfect so if you think I’m talking strange - yes I am, I’m sorry, but yeah, that’s how we’re rolling here.

And now - moving on to the essay. I will take random pieces of media one by one and explain why exactly I see Mace/Eeth there.

As I call this, “Fantastic MaceKoth hints and interactions, and where to find them”

Star Wars 13: Emissaries to Malastare, Part 1 

So, what do we see here? Oooooh, the Concordance of Fealty. In general, the exchange of lightsabers is a very interesting phenomenon in the Jedi Order, and not only because no one remembered it existing before Macekoth decided to engage in one (because there are not known participants in the timeline BEFORE Mace and Eeth, while there are some AFTER) , but also because of its significance. The Concordance of Fealty is said to establish a “master-less learning relationship” between the two Jedi, i.e., a Force-bond that, if not superior, is equally as close and strong as the bond of a master and a padawan, which is said to be the closest bond possible in the Order.

As you see, this ritual required deep mutual trust from both its participants, and here's why: the exchange. of. the lightsabers. I will repeat it once more and even emphasise: THE EXCHANGE. OF. THE LIGHTSABERS.

As Anakin Skywalker said in “The Clone Wars” and Obi-Wan Kenobi said in the “Attack of the Clones”, a lightsaber is a Jedi's life, a thing that one should not part with under any circumstances. And what is the Concordance requiring? Exactly this. Giving away your lightsaber. A voluntary action of entrusting your saber, a product of your own hands, a part of yourself, to another sentient. This act of trust can have a very deep meaning, deep subtext to it, if you want it to.

I’m not saying the Concordance has a romantic subtext to it in general, no - but once again, I’m insisting that if someone wanted it to have a romantic subtext, he had the full freedom to pull a hecking legal jedi WEDDING under the cover story of this ritual. Why a wedding? Let’s dig a bit more in the comic page above. How it is depicted, such an exchange of the lightsabers looks suspiciously similar to the exchange of the wedding rings between the spouses. So making a guess that probably by engaging in the Concordance Mace and Eeth tried to pull off a legal wedding within the walls of the Temple in this disguised way seems like a fairly logical assumption. In addition, given that this ritual is stated to be very ancient and therefore long-forgotten, it is not surprising that a very bold plan like that in fact worked right in front of Yoda’s salad.

In addition, you should pay attention to the form in which these vows of the Concordance sound. Especially this "until one or both of us becomes One with the Force." line. Very very much like the real wedding vows that spouses say before the altar, huh?))) (For example, I’ll leave this link to the site with some sample wedding vows)

Besides, the fact that Mace had made actual EFFORT to find this Concordance ritual is so priceless by itself. However, here I tend to think that it was master T'ra Saa who suggested to Mace to search for the ritual and its details, and here are the reasons why. Master Saa: 1) was in the age of about a thousand of years by the time of TPM because of being a neti (i.e. realistically could be the only one in the Order left who could have remembered this Concordance of Fealty) 2) had her own experience of a romantic relationship, with master Tholme (i.e. she understood the issue of new feelings born between the two Jedi more than the most) 3) T'ra looked after Mace a lot when he was young, so she was literally his mother figure, and  to whom can a poor confused with his romantic feelings jedi master go, if not to his tree mom? :З

Shatterpoint (novel) — M. Stover

Here I want to go back to what I said about “the lightsaber is part of the Jedi.” In Stover's novel, there is an episode where Mace looks at Depa Billaba's saber and speculates about whether she could have given it to Nick Rostu voluntarily.

Mace is mentioning the Concordance of Fealty in this novel too!

The curious thing is that Mace asks “Would she give away part of herself?" So, firstly, by this he is confirming that the Concordance implies exactly this act of mutual trust (what I talked about in the previous part), and secondly, he is hinting that since he did perform this ritual with Eeth Koth, it means that he, Mace Windu, willingly entrusted a part of himself to the hands of the zabrak. (and this is HIS interpretation of what the Concordance means to HIM) Isn't that an act of true love?)

Jedi Council: Acts of War, Part 3

Here is a peculiar moment in the comic - when the two groups of the Jedi join together in the final battle to confront the enemy yinchorri army, both Mace and Eeth separate each other's names from the rest of the group when talking about several fellow Jedi at once. And if Eeth can have a reason for this, because Mace was the leader of this whole mission in the first place, Mace himself still doesn’t have any rational reasons to underline exactly Eeth’s name (and in the background of the second frame you can see that the first one to run in the battlefield is also not Eeth, which excludes the possibility of identifying Koth as just running the first).

What I want to say by this is that they just subconsciously separate each other's names, because their first thoughts, of course, focus on their dear beloved, and only then they add “and others”. Also I want to say that consider that MASTER MACE WINDU, the man of the “less talking, more doing” standarts, in the middle of the battle actually FOUND some time to stop and ask how his dear Eeth is doing.

Republic 65: Show of Force, Part 1

In this comic there is not an interaction, but a hint, but even if it's not the most obvious and outstanding, it is still worth mentioning.

Mace returns T'ra her lightsaber, which she lost during the previous battle, and a curious dialogue happens between them.

Master Saa says that the saber is just a tool that one shouldn’t get attached to. And that Mace SHOULD know that. Personally, I see this here as a direct reference to the Concordance of Fealty (which by the time of this comic has been already completed ten years earlier), and as a confirmation that T'ra Saa knows about the nature of the relationship between master Windu and master Koth.

What I think Mace’s tree mom is saying between the lines here: “you shouldn't get attached to a lightsaber. You once owned Eeth Koth’s saber, Mace, so you understand that by "lightsaber" I mean Eeth Koth himself. And you remember that attachments are still forbidden in the Jedi Order, so be careful there with your little horned husband, son."

Given that the events of this comic take place during the Clone Wars, this means that there has already happened the battle on the Petranaki Arena on Geonosis, where Eeth’s LAAT/i exploded in front of Mace’s eyes. ( This thing blowing up in aotc is the LAAT/i on which were Eeth Koth, Sora Bulq and Tarados Gon )

And perhaps he did spend too much time near the zabrak’s bacta tank afterwards and it gave birth to some rumors or concerns - and that is what T'ra Saa hints at. (also, the timeline of this comic is listed as 21 bby, which does not exclude the possibility of also the battle of Korriban already happened, where Eeth nearly died again, and even the torture of Eeth in Grievous’s hands too, which only gives Mace more reasons to go over his usual reserved boundaries in his wish to comfort and protect his beloved)

Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones

A very interesting thing is in one of the deleted scenes of " Attack of the Clones”. And yes, another hint, but wait, some more interaction are coming later. And for now... I'm of course talking about this scene of the conversation between Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi before the latter's departure to Kamino. In this scene, Kenobi expresses his concern that Anakin has a strong attachment to the senator from Naboo, and this attachment may cause some troubles for him when serving his duty as a Jedi and as her guardian. And let’s try to think about the reaction of Windu himself to this statement and how we can interpretate it: 1) He is not surprised by the news on Anakin's attachment, and accepts it very calmly. 2) In this scene, it is actually Windu who calms down panicking Obi-Wan with the words "you must believe that he will make the right choice”, and not vice versa.

What can this mean?

This can mean that Mace is not only not at all shocked by Skywalker's forbidden attachment, but on the contrary, supports Anakin and gives him a chance to make the right choice. I mean, Mace doesn't judge Anakin, Mace sympathizes with the young man in love and he trusts him. It’s a fair assumption that Windu himself most likely has an experience of such a situation, to which he compares the Skywalker’s issue and makes his conclusion, isn’t it?

To sum up? In this scene, Windu may be probably recalling his own special bond with _someone_, and, drawing from it the conclusion that a Jedi CAN perfectly fulfil his duties even if he has romantic feelings, advises Obi-Wan to trust his padawan with this.

Grievous Intrigue  — Star Wars: the Clone Wars 2x09

A small, but very a cute detail: in the episode when a hologram is shown to the Jedi Council, on which general Grievous tortures Eeth Koth and promises the zabrak jedi master "endless suffering” Mace Windu clenches his fists in the background.

And how much was said about the Jedi acceptance, the fortitude, the “letting go of emotions in the Force”… But what acceptance could be here when your small tender husband is being cruelly tortured with the electrostaff???

Before the holotransmition / / after the holotransmition

Star Wars: Zam Wesell

Here is a moment I spotted in this comics: when masters Rancisis and Koth both speak up during a Council meeting, Eeth is the first one Mace answers to. I know that this can seem a little bit weak as an argument but add to this THAT stare Koth gives Windu when applying for being the Alderaan guard.

Yes, exactly. THAT kind of stare right here ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡ ° )

I mean, seriously, man, stop flirting with your Master of the Order husband right in the middle of the meeting! We know that on Alderaan they make one of the best sorts of wine in the whole galaxy, and you want to offer a date, but calm down a bit please, okay? You don’t want to get caught, right?)))

Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace

No, well, but there is no excuse for the fact that in the background during the scene of the Council meeting before sending Master Jinn and Padawan Kenobi to Naboo as an escort for queen Amidala, Eeth is sitting in exactly the same way in which you could see Windu sitting himself on some of the TPM photos. That's all, that’s like the final proof that Eeth is a stupid husband and in love with his partner. Because one of the forms of love language? Yes, the one with interest copying, when a person is copying the gestures, the stature and the movements of whom he’s interested in, u-hum.

Eeth really have no, NO excuse for that, I swear

Bonus: The seats on the High Council

As one very wise person on twitter had once said,

This person was referring to Plo Koon and Kit Fisto tho, but I tell you what, this also applies very much to Mace Windu and Eeth Koth.  So here is Mace and Eeth on the Council staring at each other after a holotransmition!

[f-117-nighthawk]

Playlist Update? From MY Brain? More Likely Than You Think

can't remember the last time I posted these all together but I just put a few new songs in. I've been playing Arknights bc STARSET songs keep being used in the trailers, and then I was listening to Transmissions while making dinner, and uhhhhh there's two new Transmissions songs on the playlists, plus whatever else the spotify links needed to update to my ever-changing apple versions.

This is just the main playlist, because this one is now 3h 40m, and the other three playlists are about an hour each. I’ll give them their own post tomorrow. Under the cut, because it's also Write Random Snippits and Include Important Lyrics time

Dark Matter

Surprise surprise, this one’s got probably the most work done on it. A lot of that is moving things around, a few deletions, and the additions.

DM now starts with Your World Will Fail, Dark Matter, and Eater of Worlds. Turn the Lights Out still kinda applies, but I stopped vibing with it starting everything, and wasn’t really sure where else it should go so it got dropped. It’s role is sort of picked up by a UtA song later? Anyway, the opening three are still very much about not only the birth of [REDACTED], but the birth of the universe itself. And that’s why it feels better to start out with YWWF. Because it is the start.

(Your world will fail my love/It’s far beyond repair/Your world will fail my love/It is already there)

(Bring me your soul/Bring me your hate/In my name you will create/Bring me your fear/Bring me your pain/You will destroy in my name)

(Can’t imagine the violence/The rage and the love in my madness/I am the eater of worlds and I’m looking for someone to feed me)

Remnants of Stars is a hook to Filaments at this point, but stays way up here because the thing it’s about connects back up to those three ^ and is something slowly realized by the Paladins throughout the series. There’s kinda three different points that they realize something new about this (at the moment, I Am the One, Cosmic Vertigo, and Centigrade).

(Shed all you know and make way for a galaxy of light/Answers found hidden inside the smallest stone/Bringing forth a new way of life/Open your heart to the sky)

Apocalypse 1992 hasn’t changed. Still about The Fall, still the turning point for the entire damn war. Still about poor Krolia. Still the Rogue One of DM. It happens between parts of Awakenings, detailing the rise of [REDACTED] and the final hours before the destruction of everything sentient species knew beforehand.

(Fly high through apocalypse skies/Fight for the world we must save/Like tears of a unicorn lost in the rain/Chaos will triumph this day)

Apex is the final moments of Apocalypse 1992 from the Red Lion’s perspective, and connects nicely (just as in the albums lol) to the next UtA songs. Which we’ll get to in a bit.

(Brother mountain/Now we sleep/For a thousand years/I will see you again/Something is coming/Coming for me)

You Keep What You Kill covers the slow degeneration of the Empire between The Fall and the Battle of Arus. The knowledge harshly taught by the Thuanial War is forgotten under the influence of Zarkon, Haggar, and [REDACTED]. Marzin and Galraasa quickly rise the ranks as the Empire’s left and right hands, like omens of destruction before them. The four are the ‘holy half-dead,’ the ones who shape the devouring of the universe before them.

(Defying dimensions/These ruthless creatures will steal your soul/Breaking away from the chains of mortality/They won’t be taken down/Bow now to the holy half dead/The master to death mongers calls)

The Glory and the Scum is partially here bc I missed having Delain, I’ll freely admit that. (Delain split up! Like six months ago! I’m still sad!) Here, it’s (most) of the reason why Krolia isn’t around until MGHM. Think Winter Soldier-ish. It’s also from Krolia’s perspective as she’s talking to Kolivan in a conversation I implied in Shatterpoint. Perhaps it shall see the light of day.

(Look at what we've done/Take a step back/Shake your head at what we have become/We're the glory and the scum)

The Seven Sisters is about Keith, mostly, and connected to Closure via its influence on Child From the Stars (Lost in the Dark) and also to Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met. Also the thing about the Pleiades has kinda become A Thing associated with my two favorite halfbloods.

(I cast my hope upon The Pleiades/The Seven Sisters who would come for me/They’d fall to Earth to grant a child’s dream/But I’m still waiting)

Starlight is the Adashi song. Here, it’s the sad part, based around the time that the SFSS Genesis launches for Kerberos. It also is sort of about Shiro’s thoughts throughout the war as he watches ‘from distant skies’ (and influences String Theory kinda)

(At night the earth will rise/And I’ll think of you each time I watch from distant skies/Whenever stars go down and galaxies ignite/I’ll think of you each time they wash me in their light/And I’ll fall in love with you again)

Waking Dream and Abyss are Awakenings. They’re specifically the Red Lion waking up on Sendak’s ship to her new Paladin, but also sort of the rest of the Lions as they find new Paladins for the first time since The Fall (and, also, an accidental hook to the end of Filaments just by virtue of being on the same UtA album…)

(Centuries like flowing streams as years go rushing by/Waiting in the dark for afterlife)

(Open my eyes in a daze/How long has it been? Am I so out of place?/Warmth I can no longer feel/My mountain is gone, I’m surrounded by steel/The strangest of structures arises ahead/Seems to be held up by nothing/Where have I gone, do I dream?/How can the stars be all I can see?)

Who Will Save You Now is about the Paladins in First Contact. It’s the video messages they send to their families, the warning that Something Is Out Here that they need to prepare for. It’s a declaration of protection for Earth, but a recognition that the Paladins may not be able to do what they say.

(I will not take from you and you will not owe/I will protect you from the fire below/It’s not in my mind/It’s here at my side/Go tell the world that I’m still alive)

Then there’s The End of the Beginning. Which is, well, the eponymous fic. And don’t forget the String Theory connection! Fun fact: part of the last chapter leads directly into part of String Theory at the moment.

(Every night I die just a little/All this time, I’m caught in the middle/All your life, you fought with no winning/This is just the end of the beginning)

A Simple Plan is about anything but a simple plan. Lotor is making his secret bid for the construction of the Sinkline ships, but there’s one more thing he needs before it can come to fruition. Haggar has suspicions, and knows one thing that she needs to keep from both him and Voltron. Team Voltron is still struggling to fit into their new roles, especially with a Black Paladin who adamantly does not want to be Black Paladin, and is in desperate need of one thing to fix the last of the damage done during the Battle of the Sarnan Nebula.

(How long can we hold off ending?/How long can we pretend we’re ok?/No one goes on fighting it forever/I know I’m better this way)

Memories of a Girl I Haven’t Met. Such a short song for such an important fic. It skips all the way over Naxzela to the Mission to the Baaria Shipyards, the first major offensive that isn’t somehow connected to canon (even if only a very very small part of it is actually at the shipyards lol). This is also the song that solidified Keith’s very queer identity in Dark Matter. And more Pleiades stuff!

(In this lonely place, bathed in silence and thoughts of you/I can’t see your face but I’m trying to envision you/So are you really out there? Are you awake with memories/Of a boy you haven’t met yet who’s wished upon the Pleiades?)

There’s another fic in here that I’m still waiting for a song to catch my ear, but it’s pretty big so I’m putting it in here. For the moment, it’s called MGHM 2.0: Electric Paladinloo. Featuring the Whispers, Voltron, and a few mullets.

And then. Hoh boy. The beast of beats. TRIALS (reimagine), Dark On Me, String Theory, and I Am the One. We’ve got [REDACTED], we’ve got [spoiler], we’ve got the first major turning point in the entire war, and the first revelation of the true nature of [REDACTED]. Hence the honor of being the separation point of my two main DM folders. TRIALS is the first part, the horrifying realization. Dark On Me and String Theory itself are from Shiro’s perspective. I Am the One is… an image song? I guess? That’s all I’ll say on that. (I would like to note that the STARSET songs bar OWtT tend to be about the Shiroganes…)

(Hear me from the bottom/Forged in regret, I'm the silversmith/Doomsday, you we had it coming/Marching the streets with an iron fist/Obey no more in silence/The steel in our hearts will be monuments/Today, they'll hear the violence/We'll rise from the dark like Lazarus)

(You're the cause/The antidote/The sinking ship that I could not let go/You led my way, then disappeared/How could you just walk away and leave me here?/Light the night up, you're my dark star/And now you're falling away)

(You don’t believe in space/You don’t believe in light/You don’t believe that anything is well beyond your might/We walk across the sky and beneath the ocean floor/We’re never going anywhere we’ve never been before)

(I am the one/I am the architect to rule your fate)

House on Fire is the aftermath of String Theory, and a large vibe of We ARE Struggling Together! It’s about family, never letting go of something you care about, and the slow act of trusting.

(So I’ll just hold you like a hand grenade/You touch me like a razor blade/I wish there was some other way right now/Like a house on fire we’re up in flames/I’d burn here if that’s what it takes/To let you know I won’t let go of you)

Belgrade is The klance song! It is a) a bop b) always stuck in my head because it is That Good. The line in the chorus about ‘sweet songs of seduction’ is eternally funny to me bc a)they’re both ace and b)QPR’s don’t usually involve seduction. Belgrade also leads almost directly into…

(We pretend in the darkness/We pretend the night won’t steal our youth/Singing me the sweet songs of seduction/Let me be the fool, fool, fool/Who will live and die for you)

Here to Save You is about Sam. Mostly. It’s also about Pidge. And Zaivorge cannons.

(A slave for humankind/I made sure I would survive/To stay alive/Now it’s time to move on/When there’s nothing left to prove/I’m coming to get you)

Iron is the third Closure fic (the second is End of the Beginning, forgot to mention that. They’ve slowly moved away from actually being related to it in anything but name and general idea). It’s about Keith coming to terms with parts of himself, and learning how to use them to great effect. Also has a huge info dump about the Blade.

(You can’t live without the fire/It’s the heat that makes you strong/‘Cause you’re born to live/And fight it all the way/You can’t hide what lies inside you/It’s the only thing you know/You’re embracing that, never walk away)

The second major turning point in the war is Monarch, Birthright, and Firewall. I really recommend reading the whole lyrics for Monarch, because the entire thing is very much a Lotor song. I had a bit of trouble picking a lyric to use here. Monarch is here because Lotor is also the ‘singer’ of Birthright, and both songs are to a very specific high-level target of the Coalition. Firewall is a little different as it’s a Team Voltron song not a Lotor song, but happens because of the same thing the other two do. They’re all not exactly a direct result of Iron, but they wouldn’t happen how they do without it, and then [REDACTED] swings back into the fray and things learned in String Theory/the framing story for Through Apocalypse Skies hit in full force.

(I am not the person you remember from before/The one you patronized and stepped on, the one you hurt/And I have pulled the arrows, now my skin has become stone/No longer am I prisoner to your empty fucking words)

(The voices in my head have all begun to sing/(The voices in your head have all begun to sing)/And they sure as hell hope I am listening/(I sure as hell hope you are listening!))

(They come to your dreams with illusion/They come to bring shape to your mind/You know how to stop the intrusion/We all have to fight for our lives)

and then, The Day the Earth Collapsed

(How much time has been elapsed/Since the day the earth collapsed?)

Here Comes the Reign doesn’t come into full effect until several months after Birthright/Firewall, but starts with The Day the Earth Collapsed. It’s largely about Haggar and [REDACTED]

(You made something they can’t take away/Now bring the fire of the burning sun on everyone)

Supersonic is here… kinda as a placeholder? Things have shifted around since its original purpose, and frankly it’s here still as a framework for what I like to call The Meme Battle. It’s generally about the increase in Coalition support and general winning as they go after warlords in the aftermath of Feyiv, culminating in I Need a Hero which is, of course, The Meme Battle.

Yes, it’s the Shrek version. It’s the Meme Battle.

(Supersonic, polyphonic, this is our war/Mustering the armies, marching faster than before)

(I need a hero/I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night/He's gotta be strong, and he's gotta be fast/And he's gotta be fresh from the fight)

But Tonight We Dance isn’t exactly a klance song, but it’s here for them. On a diplomatic mission gone wrong, the Red and Blue Paladins of Voltron uncover a literally-buried government conspiracy, a rebel cell, and nearly die. A normal days work for the two of them. But they’ve really gotta stop having relationship milestones in the middle of a warzone.

Another reason it’s here is Tonight We Dance is a very aro song to me. “A language universal, but I speak not its tongue” hits hard. I felt like I needed a bit in here to remind listeners/readers that romance isn’t a language Keith speaks. And it becomes very explicit in this fic, just like Belgrade.

(Tomorrow we might wake in servitude and silence/I will give you everything if only you would have me/Tomorrow we will sweat and toil/Our hands will quiver, caked with soil/Tomorrow we'll give it one last chance/But tonight we dance/But tonight we dance!)

But Tonight We Dance is the last of the Closure fics, which is why it’s here. Closure in general is a lot of Keith’s character development and some of the struggles he goes through to accept his place in the universe and the fact that yes, he does have people that care about him. The last fic is me shining a brighter light on Closure’s chorus and taking a ‘last goodbye’ as never needing to say it again

(I am the child from the stars/That got lost in the dark/Between heaven and hell/I am forced to live on/I am the cause when you sin/I am the demon you skin/But there is no more tears to beautify/This is my last goodbye)

Then we step back into the universe-level action with Soulbound. Revelations from String Theory and Firewall swing back in with a vengeance on a joint Whispers-Voltron mission, leaving them reeling and Krolia questioning her very identity.

(Soulbound, endlessly forever/Locked between the darkness and the light/Don’t drown in the swarming, blackened rising/Hold on to humanity and fight)

About three months after that is My Darkest Hour and Faster Than Light. Haggar realizes something and goes searching for her fifth [spoiler], sending the Blade and the rest of the Coalition scrambling. These also lead directly, and I mean directly, into…

(When the sun comes crashing down/When the world is spinning round and round/I will face what must be my darkest hour)

(Once more we’re flying fast as light/Dark matter passing in the night/Pursued by a force we can’t outrun/As we hurtle towards a dying sun/We maneuver through the remnants of a moon/On the solar winds of supernovas/There is not a place to hide, the Matriarch is close behind/It’s plain to see she’s coming for us all)

Cosmic Vertigo and Other Worlds Than These. Together they are the second of two revelations in what, exactly, is [REDACTED]

(Banish me like burned down planets/Write my fate with sparkling lies/I am the universe; you're just one sky)

(Pull the wool out from your eyes/It won’t shade your frail belief/In the end we cannot hide/There are other worlds than these)

Godhunter is Team Voltron, well, hunting for gods, even as one of them disappears.

(She’s been watching for a century/With hatred, and with scorn/If you know the hunter’s coming/Then you hide or keep on running/'Cause she’s slain the gods before)

Trophy Hunter, Ember, and Redemption are the culmination of Godhunter. I’ve been thinking of them as akin to the suicide mission in Mass Effect 2, if that gives you an idea of what the hell they run into. Also I switched which specific Redemption is on the playlist, because I was listening to Red Handed Denial again and their Redemption was vibing way more than the Hammerfall one. They link up to Godhunter and Soulbound in subject matter, and lead directly into…

(You, you won’t escape me, I’ll rise from the deep/In this final moment, no words left to say/I can’t let you be when a life fades away/You, you won’t escape me ‘cause I’ll set you free)

(Dark matter falling from the sky/Dancing flames reflecting in your eyes as you watch them burn/Watching all your riches witches burn)

(Remember me not for the mess I’ve made/But who I could have been/Finally I’m going home)

World On Fire, This is a Call, The Reckoning, The Wind That Shapes the Land, and Louder Than Words. Switched the order up a bit so it makes more sense chronologically, because the message ‘sent by forces beyond salvation’ has to get there before the reckoning can begin.

(World on fire with a smoking sun/Stops everything and everyone/Brace yourself for all will pay/Help is on the way)

(This is a call to action/This is a call to arms/All lives for one, together/There are no false alarms)

(I see your face, find peace of mind/Between the madness and the sadness and the fire burning/The end of war, the great divine/We’ll see the day of reckoning)

(Search within/Uncover the will to win/Turn against the tide that washes o'er/Find the strength to fall and rise again/Open up the gates, unleash the force/I am the wind that shapes the land/Old as time and twice as strong/Oceans arise at my command/I alone can carry on)

(We have the force to fight/We have the blinding light/A war is more than heard/Coming in louder than words)

#i am dark matter; your road to ruin #dm playlists #guess who spent two hours on this! again! #as usual! #long post #i'm teaching in the morning and it's one am #oops

[padawanlost]

I'm sorry but your yoda and sentence quote from ice and fire....eye-opening even I knew before that yoda sucks. but, like the fact that yoda's last order as jedi leader and leaders of war is give the hard to another even when obiwan warned that he cant and himself go for (emotionally) easy one...gods yoda sucks. also this made me think about his influence on anakin and obiwan(I'm romantic I know and like happy aus but I always thought that with less problems they would be not just good - which1/

2/ they were during war, with many problems, but good. take away at least have of problems, like this green frog's influence and have them meet under different circumstances and/or later than canon. or make them both go to therapist but I digress). also it also makes me think about obiwan and quigon and yoda's role in their relationship, which in both canon is huge and just how much yoda let down both anakin and obiwan, in different ways. anyway fantastic edit makes me think stuffTM thank you!!

The problem with Yoda is that is advice is superficial. So much of what he says and tries to pass as wisdom is not applicable to anyone’s daily life and, more often than not causes, only make things worse.

Yoda told the Council to not accept Anakin. If they had obeyed him, Palpatine would’ve become an even bigger influence in Anakin’s life which would make the Jedi and the Republic situation later much, much worse.

Yoda told Obi-wan not to be Anakin’s friend. If Obi-wan had obeyed him, the famous friendship we all love wouldn’t have existed and neither would so much of Anakin and Obi-wan’s success in the clone wars. They only started working together when they embraced each other as friends and equals, someone Yoda was totally against. 

Yoda told Anakin the solution to his fears was simply to accept mortality. Completely unrealistic advice, no matter how emotionally healthy we are accepting the sudden loss of a loved one is never as easy as something telling us to ‘forget about it’. In Anakin’s case, Yoda knew he was dealing with someone known from being deeply attached to people and emotionally unstable. Being the older, more mature and experienced teacher, Yoda had a duty to help Anakin beyond probably quick platitudes. 

Yoda ordered Obi-wan to kill Anakin because he believed he could handle Palpatine alone. Not only Palpatine kicked his ass, this plan made the Jedi Order weaker, consolidated Palpatine’s dominance over the galaxy and let to the birth of Darth Vader by pushing Anakin further into the dark side and Palpatine’s control. 

Yoda manipulated Luke into trying to kill his own father, causing him great emotional pain. If Luke had listen to Yoda, he would’ve fallen to the dark side or he wouldn’t have been able to rescue his father from the dark. 

It wasn’t Yoda’s wisdom that save the galaxy, it was Luke’s compassion. That’s why Luke Skywalker, not Yoda, is the greatest jedi ever. because, unlike his predecessor, Luke actually acted with real compassion and wisdom.

“Mace nodded silently. One did not argue with Master Yoda; in the Jedi Temple, this was learned in infancy. No Jedi ever forgot it.”  Shatterpoint by Matthew Stover

That’s why the biggest problem with the Jedi Order is Yoda. The Jedi weren’t evil but they spent almost 900 years being taught to worship a man as flawed as they were. I’m not saying Yoda is evil either but everyone inability to admit he wasn’t perfect put the Order in very vulnerable position. A position the sith spent years exploring, to the point it ended in tragedy.

#ask #anon #jedi order #jedi culture #yoda #sw meta #meta: yoda #the yoda problem #txt

[bereft-of-frogs]

Who are your top 5 mcu characters and top 5 star wars characters? I guess is may change sometimes, but for now. :)

oh goodness. this is an excellent question. I think it probably will change, especially for Star Wars as I continue my rereading of the old book series stuff, digging back in and what-not; but also for both as new things are released. (I’m now like ‘omg the whole of the Wandavision crew needs way more consideration for this top 5 list than I ever thought I’d give them what’.) Sorry it’s taken a couple days! This was hard.

Putting it under a cut for length:

MCU:

1. Sam Wilson. This was really hard to choose between all of Team Cap because I love them all equally, but out of the three Winter Soldier crew, I love Sam the best. ‘...if you eat that sort of thing’ ‘So do you like cats?’ ‘I hate you’  #iconic

2. Loki & Thor. Okay here’s where I cheat a little, because I couldn’t choose one and not the other.

3. Valkyrie. I just love her. (Debated putting Hela here instead, because I also love Hela in a similar but opposite way, if that makes sense?)

4. Nick Fury. Fine in Avengers, loved him after Winter Soldier, loved him even more after Captain Marvel stripped down his cool exterior and revealed him to be a bit of a dork who liked cats and was willing to help with the dishes. I hope we get to see more of him.

5. Wanda. Oh my God, Wandavision just came out of nowhere with the Wanda feels, didn’t it? I will say I was lukewarm-neutral on her, and then Wandavision recontextualized so much of her story and made me feel so much about her.

Honorable Mentions: all of the Guardians of the Galaxy because I couldn’t just pick one; Captain Marvel herself came close to getting Fury’s spot (’I have nothing to prove to you’ sobs); Vision was another surprise ‘oh no where did these feelings come from’ character post-Wandavision, (same with Darcy wth happened); Jimmy Woo should get his own series I will sign the petition

Star Wars:

1. Mace Windu. Okay this is an deep abiding love. How could I not love him when I was 10? The man had a purple lightsaber. (Purple was my favorite color, that was pretty much the extent of my character analysis back then.) This has only been confirmed as an adult by all of Shatterpoint. This is officially a Mace Windu appreciation blog.

2. Obi-Wan Kenobi. How can you not?

3. Qui-Gon Jinn. I left the fandom for like 20 years and came back and apparently he’s ~~problematic~~ and yes I will finally admit it, this is the character I’ve been vague-ing about the AO3 tags being a cesspool. He’s just such an interesting character...and that has apparently translated to ‘he’s the worst’ which okay thanks for letting me know I won’t like your fic but...man, the ‘Qui-Gon was literally the worst’ is suddenly everywhere and I’m confused. (again ‘suddenly’ I haven’t been super active in this fandom in a while, it might not have been sudden. Not quite 20 years but it’s been a while and I never noticed back then, idk if it’s a new development or just the product of me trying to sift through AO3 instead of relying on recs...anyway that’s my #confession for the day)

4. Cassian Andor. Okay partially for superficial reasons because Diego Luna is distractingly pretty. But I also love the more serious take on the rebel who knows that he has to get his hands dirty for the cause. He and Jyn’s embrace on the beach at the end is honestly one of my favorite Star Wars moments.

5. Din Djarin. He’s just a man trying to get an education for his son and know as little as possible about the plot of Star Wars, who accidentally ends up winning in battle the rulership of a planet he’s never seen. Poor man. He’s just doing his best. I can’t wait for next season.

Honorable Mentions: K-2SO was hilarious and the rest of the Rogue One crew should technically share the spot with Cassian but Diego Luna is just so pretty; the nanny/assassin droid that Taika Waititi played in The Mandalorian because I always surprise myself by crying when he sacrifices himself in the last episode; literally every female character because my list, like James Luceno, impressively does not pass the Bechdel Test (oof I’m aware, I get it, but I had to narrow this down to 5, and I’m sorry); special mention to Bo-Katan even though I’ve only seen two episodes with her in them (I didn’t, and honestly probably won’t, watch The Clone Wars) but also I might just have a crush on Katee Sackhoff...

Narrowing these down to 5 was super hard, this was quite the challenge, and I only cheated a little there, thank you anon. Sorry it’s taken me a couple days! This was hard! XD And I’m sure it will be updated as things progress with the Marvel series coming out. Also I just got a PS4 and Jedi Fallen Order from my brother in the mail, yes I did have him ship his old PS4 across a closed international border so I could play Fallen Order (and also nothing else is giving me serotonin any more and the internet suggests trying something novel to get the serotonin molecules boogieing, so let’s see if my video game redemption arc is a go).

#Anonymous #lol samuel l jackson appears on this list twice #before anyone chimes in i am aware that the clone wars is like the cornerstone of the modern fandom and i have tried #i just....cannot get into it #i managed one season before i was like...can't keep going #i'm sorry if it makes you feel better it's stressing me out too #there are characters i want to write about but i'm like...wait apparently they have an arc in tcw? and i lose like an hour to the wiki XD #anyway this was a very short list and there are many many more character that i love #this was hard #but! #thank you for asking! #my askbox is always open! <3

[mangobilorian]

deception | (gen)

Pairing: Toddler! Ahsoka & Mace Windu

Genre: Fluff

Words: 3368

Summary: Ahsoka dashes from the wall and runs at full speed, throwing a toothy grin at him. She grips his lightsaber in her hand and zaps away. Well, if that’s the game, Mace will play. He can be a damn good hunter after all.

Or: Ahsoka tricks Mace into acknowledging his emotions and having fun for the first time in forever.

Ahsoka scares Shaak. Seriously. Togrutas are born hunters— they have to be since the akul rule their homeworld—but she’s never met one as terrifying as Ahsoka Tano. Force, when she was an Initiate herself, all those years ago, Shaak had the demeanor of a predator too. She’d stalk around teachers, tear into meat, jump at small creatures and fight at large ones. But at least she didn’t have the absolutely insane urge to chase High Council members for fun.

Everyone thought that Ahsoka would always be Plo’s little one. She followed him everywhere, and he let her. When not napping on top of him, Ahsoka could be found wrapped around the edges of his robes or clinging to his chest. Things changed when, on a regular, unassuming day, Ahsoka ran into Adi Gallia’s legs and didn’t let go. Adi had tried walking away, telling the little girl that she had important Jedi Master stuff to do, but Ahsoka was relentless. Adi even tried handing her off to Plo who attempted to sway his foundling back to him (a useless endeavor). It took a long game of hide and seek to pry Ahsoka off of Adi and back into Plo’s arms.

The next week, it was Yaddle. They had quite a nice time around the Temple, and Yaddle even invited other younglings to join. They didn’t play much; Yaddle taught Ahsoka a few acrobatic moves instead (which Ahsoka later employed upon an unsuspecting Oppo Rancisis).

Eeth Koth served as the next victim of Ahsoka’s gaze, and she had forced him into a game of pretend. He was the princess and even had a paper crown while she served as the knight, a practice saber clipped to her side. The “dragon” had been Ahsoka’s stuffed akul. Instead of stabbing her stuffy with the saber, Ahsoka made peace with it and successfully rescued Eeth from his bindings. To this day, no one knows how a youngling tied and restrained a Jedi Master with bedsheets, and Eeth doesn’t like talking about it. After that encounter, Ahsoka stuck to Plo when she had the chance. The Council thought she got tired and preferred her founder’s presence once again. It was a welcome reprieve (namely for Eeth and Oppo).

Until, out of nowhere, Ahsoka declared that she wanted to play with Master Windu. That caused quite the ruckus in the chamber. Some, like Plo and Yaddle, advocated for it. They said it would create more trust and connection between Masters and Initiates. Others like Eeth declared that Ahsoka was a menace but a cute one and should be experienced at least once. The last group consisted of those who decided that Ahsoka should be stopped from causing even more disorder, but they didn’t want to spend resources on that endeavor.

Which leads to now. Shaak stands next to Ahsoka who tugs at Plo’s taloned fingers. She admits that Ahsoka is quite cute but everyone knows to never underestimate her.

“Master Windu is here. I know it!” Ahsoka beams, and Shaak smiles at her. Force, she is adorable . Big eyes, stubby montrals, grinning lips. As a member of the same species, she’s filled with a surge of maternal warmth. Shaak always wondered why Ahsoka never clung to her then realized that Ahsoka “attacks” members she wasn’t familiar with. After spending a lot of time with her and Plo, Ahsoka probably filed Shaak as a member she knew well, a thought that makes Shaak particularly happy.

“I don’t feel him here, little ‘Soka. Why don’t we try the next floor?” Plo says, guiding his foundling with a gentle hand. Shaak loves watching after Ahsoka and other younglings, but in some instances, she needs to curb the girl from causing damage.  

“Don’t you have homework, Ahsoka? Master Koon and I can take you back to the crèche,” Shaak says with a smile, but Ahsoka blinks slowly at her.

“No homework,” she says, pouts. She tugs harder on Plo’s hand, “He’s here! I can feel him.” Shaak shares a look with Plo who turns the other way. If two Jedi Masters can’t feel Mace, how could Ahsoka?

“Master Ti is right. Even if you don’t have homework, we can do other things. How does hide and seek sound?” Ahsoka frowns.

“Yes, Ahsoka. The three of us can play hide and seek like Master Plo said. Is that good?”

“I wanna play with Master Windu,” she says and stomps her foot on the ground. Oh dear. It’s tantrum time. Shaak opens her mouth but Plo speaks first.

“We’ll look around this floor then leave. Okay?” Shaak glares at Plo whose Force presence radiates cheekiness. Shaak feels slightly betrayed.

“Yay!”

Mace isn’t hiding. He isn’t . Why would he— Jedi Master, Vaapad creator, and the Order’s champion— hide? Nothing on Coruscant could scare him enough to make him hide. Not even massive, terrifying beasts or ancient Sith ghosts strike fear through him. If he were to see an enemy, he’d take them down immediately, seeing the shatterpoints and taking advantage of weakness. He is Mace Windu , for Force sakes and-

Well. The point is that Mace isn’t hiding because there’s nothing to hide from, and he’s better than that anyway. Mace simply wants to sit in a little corner of the Temple, content to be alone. Yes, he prefers peace and quiet over the long, boring Council meetings (which, as the Master, he probably shouldn’t say but kriff it). His little corner is tucked away in a mostly unused hallway. In the middle of the day like this, most Initiates attend classes, Padawans train with their Masters, and Knights rest or prepare for missions. Only the occasional Temple Guard plows through. Mace has enough control with the Force to conceal his signature and not bring suspicion to his… unusual relaxation spot.

He closes his eyes and controls his breathing. The corner is a far cry from his own quarters (which aren’t that comfortable anyway), but it’s a moment of isolation at least. For each feeling and thought at the forefront of his mind, he assesses them then lets go. Some feelings are easy to drop. The slight flare of annoyance at the lack of special pastries in the mess hall flies away without hesitation. Others, like his frustration at today’s meeting, are harder to release. Kriff, why did Qui-Gon and his Padawan have to overthrow a monarchy? Sure, they got the mission done but seriously? Mace doesn’t know whether to be angry at his friend or the Council or himself.

Regardless, Mace pushes all feelings away, and his mind clears. It’s comforting to have an empty head, a place where his thoughts are just that. Thoughts. Nothing real happens in one’s thoughts except for self reflection and, in Mace’s head, shatterpoints.

All the shatterpoints he sees are simple possibilities, what-if scenarios that may never come to fruition. It’s difficult sometimes to see people as who they are , and not what they can do. After decades with the ability, he still struggles with separating the two. It’s especially harder when a growing darkness looms over Coruscant. The Force is cloudier than he’s ever felt it. Maybe that’s why he has such a cranky demeanor. Or maybe his peers are just too damn annoying, and sarcasm is his only coping mechanism. Well. Whatever. With those thoughts, he releases them into the Force and continues breathing.

Mace hears footsteps, ceasing his meditation. He reaches out and curses at what he finds. There, glowing in the Force, Plo Koon, Shaak Ti, and Ahsoka Tano walk towards him. He opens his eyes, scanning the area in search of an escape route. Well, not an escape route, just… an alternate pathway for him to continue his search for peace. After looking around, he slumps in his position. He, with a great amount of ignorance, trapped himself into his corner. How wonderful. Mace tries again, almost with an air of desperation as the sound of footsteps increases in volume, but there’s nothing. There’s no way out of his little corner without revealing himself which is the main pur- one of the main purposes he sought the corner for.

The footsteps stop a few feet away from Mace, and he curls impossibly tighter. Kriff. At this distance, he can hear everything the trio says.

“Right here! It's glowy and stuff.”

“There’s no one here, little ‘Soka. It’s an empty hallway.”

“Master Plo is right. We should hurry and get some food from the mess.”

“But-”

“Trouble, there is? Frustrated are you?” Yoda’s voice inserts into the conversation, and Mace sighs. Hopefully Yoda will spare him and allow Mace to leave in peace.

“Master Yoda! Where’s Master Windu? It’s play time.” Mace can hear her pout the last sentence.  

“Hmmm, yes. Talented Jedi, Mace is. Good at hiding. Here, you will not find him.” Mace breathes out. Thank the Force for Master Yoda, the ever wise and forgiving Grandmaster. He feels Ahsoka’s presence plummet into disappointment and frowns.

“A few feet away, however, he hides. In a corner, he is.” Wait, what?! No, no, Yoda did not just-

“Master Windu?” Ahsoka Tano’s big eyes stare at him and his coiled body and tilts her head to the side. He sees the pure shock on Shaak’s face and the unwavering rolls of smugness from Plo. Mace composes himself.

“Greetings, Initiate Tano. I’m simply meditating.” Ahsoka nods but her eyes are trained on Mace’s side. What- oh. His lightsaber. Her hand reaches out, and Plo moves to place a hand on her shoulder, stopping her sticky hands from nearing Mace.

“Master Ti, Master Koon, come with me, you must. Many things to do, there are. Will of the Force, this is,” Yoda says then cackles. Mace restrains himself from showing visible signs of anger. Shaak breaks away first, shooting Ahsoka a small smile before leaving. Plo glances at his foundling and speaks up.

“I told you she’ll want to play with you. I’ll see you later, little ‘Soka.” She beams at him then turns her full attention to Mace once Plo leaves.

“So.”

“Hi, Master Windu! Can I see your saber? Pretty, please?” Mace sighs and brings his lightsaber out. The sooner she’s satisfied, the faster he can have some peace. He ignites it, the purple sheen illuminating her eager face. She admires it with little coos then pouts when Mace turns it off. That should be enough entertainment.

He stands up from his position, Ahsoka still watching. “Well, Initiate. You saw the lightsaber. Run along now,” he orders, shooing her away with a hand. She nods, still frowning, but her eyes make Mace pause. There’s a brief flash of something predatory, something hungry. He brushes it away. She’s just a kid, after all.

Mace turns around, eager to return to his duties. The little pitter-patter of skips ring from the opposite side of the hallway, and he sighs, relieved. The last time he had to contend with her had been nothing short of a nightmare. Mace swears he’ll never let a youngling take a nap on him again. Just as Mace reaches the end of the corridor, he feels around his belt to adjust his lightsaber.

Except there’s nothing but air. His fingers graze an empty belt. No familiar metallic hilt, no gentle humming from his crystal. He fumbles around, almost frantically, but his lightsaber really isn't there. Which means…

“Ahsoka Tano,” he mutters. Mace turns around to find an empty hallway, no sign of the pesky thief. He curses under his breath and hurries his pace. There aren’t many places she could hide, and when he reaches into the Force, there’s nothing there. Kriff. How can she hide her signature completely? Mace knows she has a lot of potential with the Force but this? Performing an advanced Force technique as a youngling?

He breaks into an almost-sprint and feels the eyes of passersby stray to him. At least the Temple guards have masks. After a few more minutes of searching, there’s still no visible sign. No inkling at all about Ahsoka’s whereabouts. Already, he mourns for his lightsaber. He’ll get it back regardless, but who knows what damage a crazed youngling could do to his precious weapon?

He feels a small nudge in the Force and chases after it. Mace controls his steps then— like a whisper in the wind— he hears a muffled giggle. Mace stops, straining his ears. The giggles remain, and he follows it to a small alcove in the wall. As he nears, he can feel the gentle, comforting presence of his crystal. Almost there…

Ahsoka dashes from the wall and runs at full speed, throwing a toothy grin at him. She grips his lightsaber in her hand, and zaps away. Well, if that’s the game, Mace will play. He can be a damn good hunter after all.

He sprints after her, arms pumping at his sides. He’s faster than her, but she’s much too agile and flexible for him. She dashes between random people, jumps over stairs, slides under benches. It would be too much for anyone else, but Mace is not some random Jedi. No, he’s the Master of the whole Order. A Togruta child is no match for him.

Ahsoka leads him into a public, outdoor area, scores of Jedi milling about enjoying their day. Most stop to see the commotion then freeze at the sight. Mace pays them no mind. Ahsoka darts in between stray obstacles, and Mace admires her strategic chase. She’s clearly using her strengths to her advantage, utilizing the Force to quicken her reflexes and distracting him. Ahsoka even howls in glee and taunts him, sticking a tongue out at one point. Of course, he can see her vulnerabilities and weak spots; his shatterpoint ability shows him all. A gentle Force push, and she’d trip with enough momentum to release his lightsaber. There are multiple ways to get it back. As Mace mulls over his next decision, Ahsoka runs.  

Mace lets her. If he were to go full speed, she would be no match for him. He sweats, not because he’s tired, but because the sun is out. Besides, the exercise is enjoyable, possibly even fun. He hasn’t run like this in a long time. Mace spies Ki-Adi Mundi up ahead and slows a bit. “Stop her, Mundi,” he barks. “She has my saber.”

Ki-Adi looks at him with pity and shakes his head. He hears Ahsoka giggle. “Sorry, Master Windu. There’s nothing I can do.” Next to Ki-Adi, Saesee chuckles. Amazng. Mace loves his loyal Council members.

No matter, Mace continues his chase. Ahsoka leads him back into a mostly empty hallway. Her steps slow, and her breathing grows heavier. Mace admits that he’s a tad more tired than before. Without warning, she halts, and Mace almost careens into her.

She turns, grinning, and hands him his lightsaber without hesitation. He takes it and doesn’t know whether to scold her or walk away and spare himself more interaction with the girl. Before he can decide, Ahsoka hugs his legs.

“Thanks, Master Windu,” she says, her voice muffled against his robes.

“What-”

“For playing tag. I love tag! You’re good. Like Master Plo.” Mace shoves the image of Plo running away from Ahsoka out of his mind and thinks instead about the situation. They were playing tag . Stealing his lightsaber was a ruse, a manipulation technique. He feels tricked. Deceived. A pawn in Ahsoka Tano’s game. The idea is jarring, and he’ll never admit it. So he sucks it up and regains his composure.

“Yes, I’m very good at tag. I was the best in my clan,” he says then pauses. He didn’t lie, but it’s been quite a while since he thought about his clan mates. Mace always beat Qui-Gon in races (the other was more content to sit in the dirt), and his only real competition had been Eeth, and the man was a Zabrak for Force sake. His childhood feels so far away now, a distant memory.

“Really? That’s cool,” Ahsoka says, breaking away. She holds her arms up in a universal sign of “hug” but Mace knows the truth; he’s seen Plo do this many times before. Sighing, he picks the girl up in his arms, and she curls into his chest. The top of one of her montrals almost stabs his eye, and he stomps down a flare of annoyance.

“Tired,” she says, snuggling deeper into the embrace. Mace rolls his eyes, and begins walking towards the crèche. He can see her in the Force now, and reaches out. Mace senses a calming tiredness and an overwhelming amount of satisfaction. Well.

“Next time, don’t steal my lightsaber,” he scolds with the same voice he uses to scare Knights. While they cower, she simply hums.

“Next time? More tag?” She asks, pulling back from his chest and looking up. Mace didn’t intend to insinuate another game of tag, but she looks so damn hopeful that he sighs.

“If I’m not busy, then we can maybe play tag again. Is that clear, Initiate Tano?” She nods with a toothy grin. Mace can’t deny that she’s adorable. Adorably scary. Ahsoka doesn’t say anything more, content to cuddle against Mace. He hasn’t hugged someone like this in a long time.

Mace thinks of Depa and how she was probably the last person to hug him. He remembers how young she was when he rescued her from pirates. When he took her on as his Padawan. Now, she’s a capable Master with a seat on the Council. He feels a lot of pride when he looks at her and hears of her achievements. While he contributed greatly to her learning, Depa’s success is entirely her own.

Sometimes, he acknowledges that he misses her. He shouldn’t; attachments are forbidden. But- he’ll always see Depa as a daughter even if it’s wrong. There’s a large part of him that’s empty, that’s stayed empty since she passed her Trials and became a Knight. Now, they barely see each other outside the Council meetings. She’s a busy person and has only taken on more dangerous missions as a Master. Depa will do great things in her career (has done great things), but he worries about her nonetheless. She walks the Light and Dark like him, yet there’s always the temptation of Falling. Mace will never surrender himself to darkness, but the same can’t be said of Depa.

He’s scared that if she Falls, it will be because of him. That it’ll be his fault because he taught her Vaapad; he showed her the temptation first.

Mace shoves that thought out. Depa will never Turn if Mace has any say in the matter. Never. He nears the crèche, arms still cradling the girl. Ahsoka fell asleep a while ago, her little snores muffled into his robes. The situation reminds him of when he found her sleeping atop Plo in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

As he enters the crèche, the other younglings turn to him with awe, a tinge of fear, and a lot of confusion. He gently lays Ahsoka down, careful with her lekku and montrals. She holds a hand out, reaching for him, then drops it to her chest. When he looks at her, he sees Plo’s reflection. For a while, Mace considered confronting Plo about his attachment. Attachments lead to obsession and fear and the Dark Side. But Plo’s relationship with Ahsoka is so pure and full of Light that he never bothered with the conversation. Already, the pair have the makings of an incredible bond that could last decades. The Force sings whenever they’re together.

When he sees Plo and Ahsoka hugging, Mace thinks of Depa and himself.

Mace tucks Ahsoka in, not bothering to acknowledge the many eyes following his every action. Against his better judgement, he rubs a gentle hand along the side of her face, and she nuzzles into it. He whispers a small goodbye, projecting a wave of calm through the Force. As he leaves the crèche, Mace decides to contact Depa soon. And Eeth. And Qui-Gon. Not for official Jedi business but as family.

After all, attachments are forbidden but love is not.

a/n:  Yoda totally wasn’t the one leading Ahsoka to Mace and also never hid Ahoska’s force signature. Nope ;) I know Shaak wasn’t on the council during/ before Phantom Menace, but I wanted another Togruta there for some representation. Also there isn’t as much cute Ahsoka stuff but she’s the cutest when with Plo and a terror with everyone else so…

#ahsoka #mace windu #toddler ahsoka #clone wars #star wars fanfiction #jedi council #the danger of cuteness