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rooftoprabbit · 2 years

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*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 𝕷𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝕷𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖗✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Summary | Being the new kid at school is the worst, but being new and from another country is like hell. Just keep your head down loser and you'll get out of this alive. But will a chance encounter change the plans you've worked so hard to keep on track?

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Warnings | swearing, drugs, FReader, Jason Carver, bullying, Eddie falling hard for reader, reader being a badass, strangers to friends, some cultural references

Author's Notes | This is my first foray into writing fan fics. I had a thought and put pen to paper. I now have so many ideas for these two characters so I will be turning this into a series (chapters for certain points in their lives as they grow up). I hope you all enjoy it!

Word Count | 6k

Key | Pink Italics is reader’s internal monologue

Blue Italics is Eddie’s internal monologue

Bold Italics is a recall of a past event/encounter

If you liked it, please like and reblog and share it with your friends! Feedback is so incredibly welcomed!

I don't consent to my work being copied and posted on third party websites. Plagiary is a crime...you wouldn't steal a car (sorry - another Aussie reference)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

1986

It had been two whole weeks at this stupid school and you still hadn’t made a single friend or spoken, maybe if you were being generous, more than three lines to someone who was willing to give you the time of day. Even then the conversation consisted of you repeating yourself 12 times over because they couldn’t understand what you were saying.

“umm excuse me do you know where I can find Ms O’Connor’s room?”

“I’m sorry, what did you just say, I can’t understand your accent.”

“so-sorry, do you know where I can find Ms O’Connor’s room?”

It was clear by the looks on these two confused girls’ faces you were going to get nowhere with them – and as always you would feel defeated and just point at the words written on your class schedule.

“Ohhh, why didn’t you just say that – it’s down the hall to the left”

Watching them wandering down the hall you could hear them snickering - “what an actual loser, what kind of hole did she even crawl out from – was that even English she was speaking? Don’t even get me started on what she’s wearing – she’s still living in the past decade!”

“I heard her accent isn’t even real, she’s just making it up to try and look cool, it’s just sad really”.

vicious laughs between the students ensued and all you could do was call out “thanks, mate!” with a painfully forced smile. The one thing you realised you could get away with here smart-ass comments, for some reason they would always go over their tiny little heads. It wasn’t their fault they couldn’t understand how powerful the word “mate” could be when send with the right tone. You had no interest in making any friends, you resolved to yourself to being the lonesome loser.

Looking down at what you were wearing what’s wrong with my outfit?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Being the new kid was hard enough, but being the new kid in a new country where everything from the clothes you wore to the words you spoke made you stick out like a sore thumb made it 100 times harder.

After your mum’s last failed relationship (who was it this time, Martin or Brian? you couldn’t remember their names and they never stuck around long enough for you to bother remembering them), she had decided that she had had enough of Australia and wanted to head back to her hometown – Hawkins, Indiana. This unfortunately meant you had to uproot your life, leave your friends and everything you loved behind to come to a country where familiarity and comfort was something that didn’t exist for you. So here you were, stuck in a small tightknit town trying to take each day as it came – waiting for graduation so you could skip out and go back home.

Home for now was a shitty little rundown trailer park on the outskirts of town. It wasn’t too bad over the summer, you could hang outside on the porch and people watch, your most favourite past time. Living in a trailer park had its perks in that way, the clientele who called this place home were more amusing to watch than anything you could find on cable TV.

There was one person who peaked your interest. You had first interacted with him when you were locked out of the trailer by your mum after a not so friendly discussion about repeating your final year at an American school, I’ve already graduated high school in Australia – why is she making me suffer through it again?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“When will you understand I’m doing all of this for you. Going to Hawkins High will help you assimilate with the culture, and maybe you’ll actually make some friends and get out of my hair and away from the trailer for a while”.

“Pack it in Vicki, let’s not pretend that we moved here because of me, we both know that’s fucking bullshit. If you want me out of your hair why couldn’t you have just let me stay in Australia! I don’t want to go to a fucking American school, I don’t want to even be in this fucking country!!”you screamed as you walked out of the trailer, slamming the door behind you and swearing profanities that would make a nun blush.

The only way you two knew you could cool down was by getting as much distance between each other as possible. Unfortunately for you, your mother ran out for her shift at the mall, locking all of the doors behind you without realising you hadn’t taken keys with you. When you got back from your walk you found yourself locked out with no way inside until at least 10pm when her shift ended. How could my life get any worse.

Defeated, you rested your head on the locked front door closing your eyes, letting the sweat run from your forehead to the bottom of your chin. You were both willing the door to open to escape the heat and ready to accept your fate of forever being locked outside when suddenly you heard a roar of an engine and a familiar song breaking the mundane sounds of the trailer park around you. You knew it was him, out of all the people in this trailer park he would be the one to be listening to “you shook me all night long” at an unreasonable volume. You guessed he was either sitting on his porch having a smoke or working on his shit box of a car.

You’d never spoken a word to him, simply smiled and nodded when he was sat on his porch while you were coming back from one of your post-argument screaming match cool downs. He was kind enough, always reciprocating with either a smile or a nod, but never a single word was spoken between the two of you. He was your only chance of getting back inside, surely he has to have some sort of tool that could help you escape this heat and back into the air conditioned comfort of your room.

Walking towards the trailer you could see him jumping out of his car and setting up his tool box. This monstrosity of a vehicle always seemed to need something fixed. As he leant down to place the socket wrench with the rest of the tools you watched as his long brown hair fell over his face before he seamlessly tucked it behind his ear making sure not to get ash from the cigarette he had hanging off his lips into his curls. The way his hair bounced around and naturally fell around his face reminded you of your uncle cocker spanel Charlie, he was a dopey dog but nothing but loveable.

You stood there for a moment studying his mannerisms, the way his facial expressions would change when he had come up with what you could only assume was a fantastic idea by the raise of his eyebrows and the smile that would plant itself on his face. Yeah, he’s definitely the human embodiment of Charlie.

He’s got to be at least 18 years old, maybe older – did he go to school? Maybe he goes to Hawkins. He looks harmless enough. Maybe I could see myself being friends with someone like him to survive these next 12 months…or not....Lets not entertain the idea, I’m better off alone.

“ummm hi, excuse me” you gave a tiny wave trying to get his attention as he was half turned to you, enveloped in his own little world tapping his fingers against the hood of his car to the song playing.

Shit, he didn’t hear me

A little louder this time “ahhh excuse me”….fuck still nothing. Right I’ll just have to get a bit louder this time.

“HELLO, EXCUSE ME” and as if you’re timing couldn’t be any worse you scream just as the music quietened down to play the next track.

“Jesus H Christ!!” spinning on his heels, you saw his brown eyes widen and his pupils dilate to twice their size, his hands clutching at his chest like he was about the keel over from a heart attack.

“You can’t sneak up on a man like that, my reflexes could have kicked in and you would have been a goner!”.

You tilted your head giving him a puzzled look and eyed the space between yourself and him. A smirk crosses your face and as one eyebrow lifts “there’s at least two metres between us right now, I wouldn’t exactly call that sneaking up on you” you chuckle.

It was your turn, you could now feel yourself being examined with his doe eyes walking their way up and down your body like you were some sort of extra terrestrial and he was trying to work out what planet you had arrived from.

Trying to avoid the ever growing silence between you both you decided to speak up “I’m sorry I snuck up on you, your music was loud and I couldn’t get your attention without yelling – I guess I just forgot how long “you shook me” was – I thought there was still another chorus to go”.

A genuine smile crosses his face “you know AC/DC?”

“well yeah, everyone does. But also, if you haven’t noticed already, which I would find surprising with how thick my accent is, I’m from Australia. My mum and I moved back just before the summer break” pointing to your locked trailer.

Looking past you to follow where your finger was pointing, he soon realised which trailer you were from. “soooo, you’re the ones who stay up fighting until 12pm almost every night” placing his hands on his hips and tilting his head to try and look less intimidating to you as well as trying not to put you offside with what he just said. It didn’t mean to come off as aggressive or annoyed, but he doesn’t always make the right choice with words.

“ahh well yeah” now looking down scuffing your feet against the gravel floor. “Sorry about that. But that’s actually why I came over here. I don’t know if you heard us earlier but after I left my mum, she’s managed to lock me out of the trailer and she won’t be back until 11pm tonight. Do you have a screwdriver I could borrow to jimmy the front window so I could get back in” sighing out an awkward laugh while rubbing the back of your neck. This was so incredibly embarrassing. He now knew how much of a raging psycho you were, can the world just swallow me whole now?? Anyone???

Before you could even continue with your excuses as to why you were over here bothering him, he was down on his knees rifling through his tool box finding the right tool to get you inside. “Here you go” looking up over his perfectly positioned bangs.

“Thank you, thank you thank you, you’re a life saver” grabbing the screwdriver with both hands shaking in a prayer position. “I’ll be sure to bring them back over to you as soon as possible”.

“Take your time, I’ve got plenty more where that came from” kicking his toolbox and wincing at how surprisingly painful that idea was but still trying to play it cool.

This elicited a small giggle out of you he wasn’t expecting. In a matter of seconds that giggle took hold of his heart. His heart was beating a million miles an hour and he had no idea how to control it – how was he feeling like this, it’s the first time you’ve ever spoken to him and he’s imploding internally from it. What is going on with you, you don’t even know the girl’s name. Play it cool, play it cool…

“well, thanks anyway. I guess I’ll see you around?” hoping he would agree and want to speak to you again.

“I’ll be here…Dundee”. Fuck, why did I say that? Shit, guess I gotta run with it now.

“you know, like the movie. It’s not half bad” giving an awkward laugh and watching for your approval at what he just said.

Another giggle escapes your mouth “aha yeah, I guess. But maybe work on the nicknames a little more”. As you smile and walk away towards your trailer all he can do is stare and ask himself whether this chance encounter would be the best or worst thing to happen to him. Whatever witchy curse you had just placed him under had him wanting to know anything and everything about you.

Although the boy two trailers down seemed kind you had no room for inviting people into your life. This town was a temporary home. Agreed. You’re right - temporary people, temporary home. Nodding along to your own thoughts and reassuring yourself that that encounter means nothing, you pry open the window to your trailer and climb in. All you could do for now is keep your head down and live in the tiny little world you’ve managed to create for yourself. It wasn’t all that bad, you don’t mind your own company most of the time and to be honest you have a pretty great sense of humour, why wouldn’t you wanna hang around all by yourself? That’s convincing enough, isn’t it?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Second period on a Tuesday was physical education, a subject you despised both back home and here – how the education system thought running around chasing a ball was beneficial to your education was beyond you, but you had one skill up your sleeve to avoid it – faking sick notes from your mum. The countless hours spent studying and tracing over the notes mum left around the house while you were home alone made it all worth it if you meant you could avoid an hour of physical education. The only hitch in your plan was that lying wasn’t necessarily your strongest suit, but you were willing to bite your tongue and lie through your teeth to avoid this dreadful class.

As you walked into the girl’s locker room you looked around and saw how incredibly put together the other girls’ sports outfits were – there were the cheerleaders with their tiny green skirts and tight tops bouncing around with their pom-poms practicing whatever stupid rhyming cheer they had made up that day. Other girls were changing into mid-thigh length basketball shorts and name brand spaghetti strap tops, then there was you. You soon realised you didn’t read the memo when it came to PE attire. You could feel all the eyes burning into the back of your skull and the snickering between each other as you changed into your footy shorts and very-hand-me-down Mr Squiggle shirt. You looked yourself up and down and couldn’t understand what was wrong with the outfit I wear this all the time back home and never got so much as a second glance but as each girl passed you to go through to the gym they made sure to eye you up and down with disgusted looks on their faces. God I hate this place.

“ahh Mr Pearce – I have a note from my mum, I can’t participate in sports for a while – I fractured my ankle just before I got here and it’s only just healed.” As you handed him the note you dug down deep into your acting skills and gave him the most sickly sweet smile and puppy dog eyes, trying to will yourself to stop talking before you dug yourself a hole of a lie you knew you couldn’t climb back out of.

“right…Miss, ummm”

“Y/N Y/LN”

“right, sure, Ms Y/L/N just sit over on the bleaches for the rest of class. I don’t wanna hear a peep out of you. We have our final tournament coming up and the boys need to focus.”

“sure thing, thanks Mr Pearce – my lips are sealed” miming yourself zipping your mouth shut.

With the biggest grin on your face, you started to skip away cheerfully before quickly remembering the lie you had just spun, stopping in your tracks and snapping your head around to see if you had been caught. Remembering nobody gave a shit about you, you turned your skip into a very slow limp back to the bleaches. You peaked one person’s interest though, and he was sitting at the back of the bleaches.

No! Dundee what are you doing, stop skipping!! Shit ok good, she’s realised what she’s done and she’s now….what is she doing? Is she trying to limp...He hadn’t even realised you were going to the same school until he saw you walk out of the girl’s locker room with a miserable look on your face. He thought you were too old to be in school – he had heard the fight with your mum about your age but only caught half of it. To be fair he was too old to be here too – being kept back so many years made him the oldest student at Hawkins High but with you here, clearly in his grade, in his gym class; he was determined to graduate this year, with you. I need to talk to you again, I have to make you smile

God this is so mind numbingly boring, when does this torture end. You dramatically huff and throw yourself back against the hard wooden bleaches, quickly grabbing at your elbow you’ve just smashed against the bench and swearing at how hard you had managed to hit it. “Fuck, shit balls”.

A familiar deep tone calls out from behind you “you alright there Dundee? These bleaches can be deceivingly vicious.”

Craning your head around your eyes slowly make their ways upwards to find out who just spoke to you. The first thing you see is the all black outfit, a Metallica shirt covered by a leather jacket-denim vest combination. Your eyes make their way to meet the only face that familiar in this whole room – screwdriver boy.

“screw driver – didn’t expect to see you at this fine establishment” gesturing to the sweaty teenagers running around the gym.

“screwdriver?? And you say Dundee was bad. Maybe just stick to your day job”.

He plonks himself close next to you and you shuffle yourself away, giving space back between each other. He didn’t seem offended by that though.

“yeah you’re probably right, I guess I have to get to know you better before I can bestow a nickname worthy enough for thee” bowing. For thee? Bowing? What the fuck am I doing, are we back in 1800s England?? Don’t let him see how much of a weirdo you are just yet??? You can feel your mind starting to spiral and you’re wondering what has made you so incredibly nervous all of a sudden. What making you word vomit to a stranger and revert back to speaking Ye Old English. He breaks your thought process.

“My kinda girl! I could sense you were one of us when we first met” locking eyes with you and producing a grin on his face that would outshine the Cheshire Cat.

“one of us? What does that mean?” a puzzled yet defensive look falls over your face and you give yourself even more distance from him. You could feel your guard going back up, ready to be insulted or ridiculed by him just like all the other kids at this school. I guess he’s no different than the rest of them

Realising he hadn’t chosen his words correctly (ye again) by the quick demeanour change you had just shown, he back tracks - quickly shooting his arms up as if to show he’s come unarmed.

“No, I just meant – you seem cool, down to earth, unlike the rest of these fake wannabes” flailing his arms towards the basketballers and cheerleaders who had by now all slowed down to witness the interaction happening on the bleaches.

As you were about to speak a voice screamed from down on the court “HEY FREAK!” making both of you turn to see the source of the insult. Of course, Jason Carver the head captain of the basketball team.

You had only been at the school for two weeks, but you already knew who he was and what kind of unintelligible nastiness could come from his foul mouth. It had only been two weeks, but he had managed to come up with every cultural insult (always lacking any true poison or intelligence to actually hurt you) under the sun, trying to elicit a response from you. Back home, bullies were mean, but no one at your school ever took themselves serious enough to care what people said about them – especially you. Every time Jason said something to you, you made sure never to respond and simply give him a confused look which screamed that you were experiencing second hand embarrassment for him accompanied by total silence which pissed him off more than you could imagine. Little did you know he had just found his golden tickets and they were sitting next to each other on the bleaches ready to be cashed in.

He shouted again, this time even louder, enough for everyone in the gym to stop and watch the spectacle unfold.

“HEY FREAK! Looks like you’ve got yourself another freak to add to the collection and she’s come all the way from Down Under. You two were made for each other! Somebody call the circus, the freaks have escaped!!”. Looking around for confirmation he had thoroughly insulted the two of you, his friends were quick to nudge him and laugh like the sheep they were before being followed by the the cheerleaders.

Before screwdriver could get a word out you felt yourself opening your mouth and before you could stop yourself…

“Hey Carver! 300 million sperm cells and you were the quickest? The gene pool must have been dry that day. How about you stop worrying about other people and go back to playing with your tiny balls with your flock of sheep over there” sticking your middle finger directly at him for the whole gym to see.

What the fuck did I just do?? What happened to my plan of staying quiet and getting the hell out of here in one piece – that plan was now out the window…FUCK

Looking around you realised you could hear a pin drop in the gym with everyone’s jaws almost hanging on the floor. But suddenly the gym erupts into laughter and all you see are the death stares coming from Carver, his cronies and the cheerleaders.

You’ve really screwed yourself now Y/N. there��s no going back now I guess, time to let my freak flag fly.

As you slowly turn your head to look to see if you’ve scared off Screwdriver, you see his widened eyes and shock draped across his face.

“where the hell have you been all my life?” His expression turning to one of joy. “No one has ever stood up to Jason’s insults before, not even me and look at me – I look terrifying” gesturing to his attire.

“Jason has been negging me since I got here, and I guess I’d just had enough. To be honest I didn’t realise what I was doing until I started speaking and by then it was all or nothing”. You let your head fall back in maniacal laughter realising how fucked you truly were.

All he could do is stare in awe at how nonchalant you were at what just went down. You were in for some serious world of hurt making enemies with the popular kids, but he was gonna make damn sure he wouldn’t let any of them touch you.

“where I’m from we never really took bullies and what they said seriously, everyone was each other’s mates. I guess it’s different here” the laughter slowly leaving you and your mouth turning downward at the reminder of home.

“well I guess I should probably get you out of here before the head cheerleader and her posse make an attempt on your life”.

“what are they gonna do – pom-pom me to death?” chuckling at your poor attempt at humour.

God, that chuckle could end wars he thinks to himself ready to play out an entire life with you in his head while he stares and examines every inch of your face worried, he might wake up from this dream any second because no way someone this amazing could just walk into his life like you have.

Breaking the brief silence with a smile you continue “well where do you suggest we go?”

“I don’t know if you know this” leaning in closer to you to whisper, “I am a connoisseur of sorts” gesturing a smoke between his fingers with a sly wink.

A little louder than you intended you replied “Oh no, I know. Everyone at the trailer park knows. Your trailer is a revolving door. I suspected it was either drugs or you were a lady of the night, but looking at you close up I don’t think you’ve got the face for it” shrugging and throwing the kind of smile his way that makes you seem more innocent than you are and the jab was not meant to hurt him.

“well, aside from that insult you’ve just thrown my way I’m willing to let you try before you buy – we could call it a welcome gift, from one freak to another” bowing his head and laying out his hand ready to receive yours in turn.

“before I go off sneaking around the school to get high with a fellow freak I should probably get your name. I’m Y/N” taking his hand to help you stand up from the bleaches.

“how rude of me, Munson. Eddie Munson” standing in tandem with you still holding your hand.

“well Eddie Munson the pleasure is all mine. Now are you going to lead the way” you say pointing to the gym doors. “I didn’t come here to fuck spiders” grinning at the confused look you’ve just managed to paint over his face.

Hopping down from the bleaches satisfied and smiling to yourself, you walk out of the gym and here him trailing behind yelling at you, more confused than ever.

“Y/N what do you mean? You didn’t come here the fuck spiders? Why are we fucking spiders all of a sudden?? Where are these spiders ? Y/N…. Y/N – I know you can hear me!!”. With a cheeky poke of your tongue and a wink in his direction all he could do is grin from ear to ear, like a kid at Christmas.

Running to match your pace “to the oval ma lady”.

Maybe this year won’t be as bad as you think it will be.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

As you take your seat opposite Eddie on the decrepit table, your eyes trail around the woods he’s lead you to behind the school’s sports field. For a space run down and littered with broken glass and empty beer cans you’re not feeling creeped out or have a sense that you shouldn’t be where you are. The feelings you hold now are ones of comfort and a strange sense of safety, somewhere you felt welcomed in an ever-growing world where you weren’t welcomed anywhere.

“Sorry this isn’t the Shangri-La, it’s the only area close to the school where I can get some privacy to do my transactions” Eddie says, not looking at you and instead narrowing all of his attention on rolling the perfect blunt.

“don’t apologise Eddie, this place is perfect – feels just like home” giving him a reassuring smile that hopefully conveyed you could care less where you were at this point, as long as it wasn’t the bleaches being gawked at like some freak show.

“So, what is with this get up of yours anyway? Tiny booty shorts and a wha- some sort of demonic writing utensil? What is that shirt you’re wearing. Surely you have something less scandalous for gym class”

He lights the blunt, puffs one out and hands it over to you – bringing your attention back to him.

With your most offensive face you take the blunt he’s handing and inhale.

“how dare you!” covering the ears of the character on our shirt in dramatic fashion “don’t listen to him Mr Squiggle, he doesn’t know quality when he sees it”.

“I’ll have you know sir, Mr Squiggle is a staple Aussie kids TV program, there’s not a soul back home that doesn’t adore this little man” pretending to console the little character on your shirt before realising your just stroking your chest and now look like an absolute weirdo for doing so.

Adjusting yourself to now be laying on the chairs instead of sitting you take another drag. Eddie follows your movements on his side and your eyes meet under the table as you pass the blunt back to him.

“well that explains the shirt but the shorts, why are they so incredibly tiny, like I’m not complaining, they’re fantastic but why those?”. You suddenly spring from your chair, giving Eddie a fright now seeing you performing deep lunges.

“ohh, these bad boys?” pointing to your shorts. “they’re called footy shorts. Shorts men where while they’re playing sport – like footy? You know, NRL, AFL – those kinds of sports”.

Rubbing his eyes he shockingly expresses “wait, so men wear these shorts too!?”

“well yeah, they’re made for men not women. I think it has something to do with less material so they can get around faster or can’t be pulled down by other players. If I’m completely honest though, I think a women on had some hand in designing them so girls to gawk at men in tiny booty shorts” a small laugh escaping you while you return to laying down on the picnic chair, Eddie again following suit.

Eddie gives a cheeky smirk “if they were designed for men, how did you manage to get your hands on a pair?”

Your expression changes avoiding Eddie’s gaze as to not show too much emotion “they were my dads”.

Seeing you avoid his attempt at eye contact he knows he can’t push that subject any further, not yet anyway. He wants to know everything there is about you but that’s clearly a sore spot you weren’t ready to divulge to him.

He gives you a smile and a nod like he understands and won’t push you further which in turn gives you a light twinge in your heart like one of the barbed wires you’ve wrapped so tightly around your heart has been cut, slowly releasing the pressure you’ve had building up for such a long time.

Eddie wants to get to know you further, but he knows he can only push you so far right now. Sitting in silence, enjoying the high overtake your bodies you hear him pipe up. “So why Hawkins, Indiana? It’s a weird place to choose to move too”.

“My mum’s from here. She was some sort of head cheerleader at Hawkins High back in the day. I tend to drown her out when she starts talking about her glory days. But she ended up moving to Australia after she met my dad and I guess we’ve come full circle and now I’m stuck in this hole of a town”.

“well I guess we can agree on something, this place is a hole” Eddie chuckles a little too hard realising the high is hitting him harder than normal – or maybe he was just getting high off your presence.

“but hold on a damn minute” Eddie thinks for a second, he recognises your last name but where has he heard it from, it’s right on the tip of his tongue and you soon realise where he’s going with his thought process – he’s worked it out.

“Your Victoria Y/L/N’s kid!?” a tiny scream escapes Eddie as he puts one shocked hand to his face and points his finger directly at you. Fuck, he’s worked it out. I was trying to just get through this year without people knowing I was her kid – will he keep my secret?

He continues, oblivious to the sober look on your face, watching him to see what he knows and what he says next. “she is like a living hero to those cheerleaders. Something about leading the basketball team to victory with the cheer she created. I don’t know the full story, nor do I really care, sorry about that one. But I unfortunately sit next to Cathy Rivers in science, I could slip it in that you’re her kid and I just know you wouldn’t have any trouble with tho--……”

You stop him before he can go any further “No”

“No? I mean, the moment they find out you’re her kid – you’d be in”

Interrupting him again he looks up and sees the daggers you’re now shooting him “Eddie, let’s get one thing very clear – no one, and I mean no one, is to know that I’m her kid. I have no interest in being popular or one of those fucking air headed wankers who parade around in tiny skirts and make fun of anyone who doesn’t conform to their way of living”.

Your expression changes to a plea “please Eddie, please don’t tell anyone – I just want to get through this year, I’m happy being a loser. I was a loser back home and I can do it all again right here”.

Examining your body language Eddie decides to over compensate with dramatics “cross my heart and hope to die” he actions carving a giant cross over his chest which elicits a tiny smile from you. I would die to see that smile, just one more time.

As he rests his hands on the table yours reaches out to rest on his making him look from the table back to you like a deer in the headlights, unsure what he should do now.

As you go to thank him you hear the bells in the background ring for the change to third period and remember you have Ms Fowler next for Geography.

“Fuck, I can’t be late – I have Ms Fowler”.

“Oh yeah Dundee, if you’re late she’ll keep you back at lunch for way too long than should be legally allowed. I’m sure there’s something in the Geneva Convention about that”.

“you know, I’m starting to warm to the nickname” Springing up from your chair you laugh as you’ve managed to frighten the shit out of Eddie again. God how entertaining it was to see how easy it was to frighten him.

“I’m like a whippet! Are you coming?” reaching for your bag and getting ready to run for your life.

“no, you go ahead – I’m meeting a client here who happens to also be my ticket out of class this period” winking knowing the art teacher gave no shits about Eddie’s education or if getting his supply would make him late to class. I need to cut him off, I’m graduating this year for sure.

“well then, don’t get too many tardies otherwise we won’t be graduating together this year. I guess now you’ll be able to see how fast I can run in this footy shorts” you say with a cheeky wink, making Eddie cheeks flush a bright shade of red.

Cocking your head back in laughter and running away at full speed you here Eddie yell from behind “Meet me in the cafeteria at lunch Dundee, you can meet the rest of the gang”. You don’t turn back but simply wave your hand in the air as a confirmation you’ve heard what he says.

All Eddie could do in that moment was watch as you ran off, wishing you could just sit at this table he’s now sat at alone, and learn everything there is to know about you. With you not sitting opposite him the space turns back into a cold reminder of what his life used to be, how in less than two interactions he can start to see a different future – one with you in it.

Don’t you worry Dundee, I’ll be by your side at graduation. I’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth…

#eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #Eddie Munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x you #eddie munson fluff

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ariesbilly · 6 months

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I feel like we have a very unpopular opinion in common: we both really like Lucas! I find him a really interesting, layered and cerebral character, and I can relate to his flaws and mistakes. Plus, like you said, I never doubt that he's a genuinely good person. I feel like we're nearly alone even among the OTH/Leyton fandom in feeling this way :) Other UOs about OTH: 1. I'm mostly indifferent to Naley 2. I don't like the acclaimed school shooting episode 3. I truly don't believe the real life Sophia/CMM drama had anything to do with Leyton being endgame 4. I have an irrational dislike of Mouth and Millie despite being pro-nerd 5. I couldn't possibly care less about Julian (ITA with you and an anon who said his personality changed completely at least once or twice a season, and the actor just irked me) 6. I care much more about the Peyton/Brooke friendship than the Brooke/Haley friendship 7. Season 6 is probably my favorite season of the series due in no small part to Leyton being happy, pregnant and engaged and 8. OMG the way they have all fabulously successful careers in nearly impossible fields to break into drives me nuts (like Lucas gets his first novel published, it immediately becomes a bestseller and is made into a movie lol---that happens to like .1% of authors, Nathan makes the NBA, Haley goes from casually singing in a coffee shop in high school to being asked to perform on tour, Brooke owns her own fashion line before they're old enough to legally drink, Quinn goes from idly deciding to become a photographer to immediately being paid to fly around and shoot for major publications like Sports Illustrated (riiight) and so on. And they can all have these impossibly glamorous and successful careers not in a major city but while mostly living in a small North Caroline town? Please! I don't mind when the show is unrealistic about crazily entertaining drama like the way there are about 25 different stalkers, but the way these athletes/cheerleaders are all insta-successful in other fields too just stretches credulity for me. Haley being a teacher was the most I liked her because I think it suits her perfectly and it was actually a normal, relatable career! Thank you so much for listening to me rant, and obviously I would love to hear your UOs too---I think we have a few of the same ones?!

Ok let’s take this point by point lol

Yes about Lucas! He’s such an interesting character and he’s allowed to be wrong and flawed unlike other male main characters who generally are written making the dumbest choices/making bad decisions but the narrative will justify it and that’s so annoying. People just hate Lucas because Brooke’s the fan fave please get over yourselves

The school shooting episode is what got me into the show so I cannot relate to that sorry lol top 5 episode to me and I think should be required viewing

It’s basically been debunked chophias divorce had anything to do with endgames.

I like mouth and Millie (at least seasons 5 and 6. Idk what the fuck happened by the time I watched 9, skipping 7 and 8)

I like Austin Nichols lol not like a FAN or anything but I think he’s nice to look at

I prefer Brooke and Peyton over Brooke and Haley (because people only love them out of hatred for Peyton you cannot tell me I’m wrong) but Peyton and Haley reigns supreme to me

Season 6 is so good! Exactly for leyton reasons lol but I do enjoy all the storylines going on

I always laugh about how successful everyone was from this random ass town lmfao but like they all did have their struggles too it wasn’t all smooth sailing. Idk it’s a teen drama where a guys heart gets eaten by a dog, their career paths were the least of its problems 😂

#briana answers things

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blushinghrt · 2 years

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introductory post <3

hiii, my name is celeste! I just made this account last night and I want to introduce myself to all who stumble upon my page. I am really new to Tumblr only gracing onto it every so often, so please spare me some patience as I try to figure out the algorithm, mechanics, and layout of this platform! With that out of the way, let's get on with it <3

Like I said earlier, my name is celeste. I go by all pronouns but I tend to stick with she/her since that is what I am addressed as most of the time. I don't label my gender tbh since it's pretty fluid, but I tend to learn more towards the feminine side of the spectrum. I am pansexual, I don't have any preference when it comes to gender.

my birthday is July 26 and below this is my birth chart. I have tropical position calculation and whole sign house system on this chart because personally I find them to be the most accurate and straightforward. Feel free to analyze it if you want!

I tried to research the myer-briggs personalities (not just take the 16 personalities quiz LMAO) and see which one I am and I belief I am an INFJ. I am pretty sure I am a 3w4 for my enneagram type. I wish I could say wether or not I am introverted or extroverted, but I can't tell because honestly I might just have social anxiety. My instinctual variant is sx/so I believe.

I live in america in the south east coast area. I am still in high school and intend on going to college, perhaps becoming a lawyer or something in business, idrk it's tbd honestly. I go to private now, but before high school, I had always gone to public. The only reason I switched is because I wanted a better education and more targeted environment. I realized a lot of people switch over because they were bullied or like geniuses who were too good for public school, but I just wanted to because I fell in love with the school.

I play soccer, used to do cross country, and plan on starting lacrosse sometime this year. I have been always involved in athletics, practically my whole life. Recently I have been feeling major burnout with soccer, so I hope lacrosse is fun for me!

my family is okay relationship-wise, in my teenage years, they have been hit-or-miss. my mom is a stay-at-home mom and my dad is military, we were lucky we didn't have to move around as much as some other folk but that was because my dad would leave by himself most of the time, but the major move we had to do was leave my home town of 9 years (age 3 to 12) to a new place and where we currently live. It was weird because we moved while I was in middle school, from where I knew everyone in the school bc it was a such a small town and where I grew up to a big city where I knew nobody in the angstiest years of our lives, the dreaded pre-teens. I also have a sister we used to be close, but we went to different high school and she just graduate so whatever.

I drabble a little bit in spirituality and magick, but I am very well a beginner. If knowledge of the spiritual was a body of water, I am not just-dipped-my-toes-in-the-pool beginner, but more like I am sitting at the edge with my feet in the water, waiting for the temp to warm up before getting in further beginner yk? So maybe intermediate ig? I would consider myself a witch and I can't wait to learn more!

cw: afterlife philosophy! (skip this next paragraph is the concept of death makes you uncomfortable or you have a belief system in place where you don't feel comfortable listening to someone else <3)

My opinions on the afterlife and the universe are kind of conflicting? I believe in the spiritual while I incorporating science as well (this isn't why I think my beliefs are conflicting btw just a general consensus ig, just because my beliefs are fluid) my beliefs are the universe is at least semi-sentient being. I believe everything is made of energy and is apart of a huge universal cycle. I believe when we die our energy is released and just like the water cycle or rock cycle, there is many paths our energy can take and there isn't a set one. I believe energy can do many things after death, like disperse with no direction among the universe, join to an objects or persons energy, recycle into another body like in reincarnation, collect in a certain area as a form of heaven or whatever, stay in the death place as a ghost, transverse dimensions or realities, perform many of these options, or none, etc. I believe even things we wouldn't consider like touchable or observable have energy, like things we wouldn't consider 'real'. Like I believe that every god, every devil, every entity, every person, every fictional character, every place, every object have energy and existence (even if its not a physical one, or observable) because the universe is giving it energy. what I mean by this is for example, people in the world believing in the christian god makes it real because all that energy is amassing for that concept. To be 'real' is hard to define because what makes me more real than someone else? (I try to incorporate the multiverse theory here as well) What if this person existed in another reality where I do not, what happens then? who is more real at that point? Moving on from that, I actually don't have a belief on the origins of our universe tbh, besides the obvious scientific explanation of the Big Bang. In this case I mean more of like a reason and not a cause, like why we came about and by who/what? It hard to wrap my head around nothingness void to the whole expanding infinite universe. My beliefs after the start of the universe is that is when matter and energy were introduced and is when everything was created. From then all that energy has recycled, for example my beliefs on soul: I believe that at the beginning of the universe a set number of souls were made of like pure *soul energy*, as time has gone on souls have changed and transferred, like split original souls are what makeup soul mates, souls that have picked up an objects or places energy are what make people drawn to certain things in life, or soul energy being lost among the universe is what makes seemingly inanimate have 'human'-like qualities, or how some people have the same energy as someone else is just made up of some of their soul energy or their energy comes from like a similar area in the universe, etc. It just gives you a lot to think about yk? I believe the consciousness is extremely powerful and I believe in the law of assumption, it plays on 'I think therefore I am'. It bases itself on the question can somebody prove they are conscious to you, like can it be proven that you and me are conscious in the same way. The answer to that is no, you can't prove it, because anything they come up as evidence can easily be disproven by your own brain. LOA plays on everybody is you pushed out, as in (my interpretation) your consciousness is apart of every person you encounter, every object, every concept, every aspect of your life is shaped by yourself, as in the way you perceive it and assumptions you have around it since you are the only 'prove-able' thing in existence. Your reality is shaped by you, this is why every afterlife belief is correct in my eyes because you assume it is, then creating your reality. Yet even after this, after all my calming explanation of death not being the end of your journey, I am still scared of death, ironic.

I have many many interest that hope I get to share on this platform, so speed round on basic topics and I'll get deeper later! I like anime/manga, I like literature, I like documentaries, I like video games, I like YouTubers, I like movies, I like researching, I like art, I like painting, I like print-making, I like history, I like economics, I like civics, I like politics, I like fashion, I like philosophy, I like cosmetics, I like beauty-related things, I like photography, I like cinematography, I like animals, I like shaping my aesthetic, I like sports, I like moral dilemmas, I like tons of shit!

I like anime and manga. I like cheesy romcoms, sports, and slice of life. I like shonen and shoujo. My favorites are horror, adventure, sci-fi, and (most importantly) psychological. Some of my first animes were Ouran Highschool Host Club, Sword Art Online, Haikyuu, Maid-Sama, Saiki K, etc. I love Death Note, Great Pretender, Jujutsu Kaisen, Erased, HunterxHunter, Attack on Titan, Sk8 the Infinity, Beastars, Demon Slayer, Viral Hit (How to Fight), Tokyo Ghoul, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Danganronpa, Promised Neverland, Yuri!! On Ice, and much more! I plan on watching/reading Lain, Blue Period, Neon Genesis Evangelion (and all its movies as well), Tokyo Revengers, One Piece (eventually LMAO), Naruto, Blue Lock, Blue Flag, and more! Please recommend things to watch or message me to talk about some that I have already watched.

I like literature. I stick mostly to fictions, but I am not opposed to non-fiction every so often for research on history or science. I love fantasy and mystery, thrillers and horror are super cool as well. I love books that make you think, books that build a foreign world so well and truly absorb you, books that play on historical events, parallel universes, or completely magical realms, books that incorporate philosophy subtlety, books that have a bit of every thing relationship-wise (romance, friendship, family, parental figures, enemies, rivals, strangers, or more obscure relationship types). Off the top of my head there's no books that come to mind but please give me recs if you feel like it!

I like documentaries. I find I tend to slide to the darker topics and I find tragedy one of the most interesting concepts. But I also love stupid little nature documentaries like from Disney (LMAO). I love behind the scenes documentaries of famous films, video games, music, and more like The Movies That Made Us. I like military and political documentaries as well like How to Become a Tyrant, I like the reenactments of historical scenes. I LOVE true crime documentaries, they are some of my favorites. I like watching the behind the scene of corrupted business like Blackfish. I like watching cult documentaries too, like Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey. Again recs and discussion are welcomed!

I like video games! I love complex, decision-based games like Until Dawn, House of Ashes, Life is Strange, Best Month Ever, Detroit Becomes Human, etc. Those are so of my favorites! I love horror: I like the fnaf games and like watching people play them. I like maze-like horror games like At Dead of Night or Dark Deception or Baldi's Basics. I like puzzle horror games like Little Nightmares or House or Inscryption or Twelve Minutes or Franbow or Danganronpa. I like crack comedy games like the Henry Stickmin Collection or West of Loathing or Totally Accurate Battle Simulator. I like survival games based on strategy and decisions like 60 Secs or Oxygen Not Included. I like comedic thought-invoking morality games like Stanley Parable or Paper's Please or Mind Scanners. I like story building horror games like Fears to Fathom or Chilla's Art. I like 3rd Person Adventure games like Spider-Man Miles Morales or The Hitman Games. I like general survival games like Raft, Subnautica, or The Forest. I like combat games like Sifu, Sleeping Dogs, Elden Ring, Mortal Kombat, or GTA. I like indie games a lot! I like rhythm games like Friday Night Funkin. The general games like Minecraft, Among Us, First-Person/Third-Person Shooters, etc. I like a full range of games! recs and discussion welcomed!

I like YouTubers! I love markipler, jacksepticeye, coryxkenshin, berleezy, dashiegames, poiised, britani, ricothegiant, game theorist, lordminion777, muyskerm for gamers. I like bob the drag queen, trixie mattel, safiya nygaard, simply nailogical, nikkietutorials, hyram for beauty related stuff. I like good mythical morning, team edge, try guys, brittany_broski, sarah schauer, drew afualo, bailey sarian, buzzfeed unsolved/watcher (ryan and shane) for more general content.

I love movies. I love marvel and superhero movies. I love horror movies. I love Disney and Pixar's animated films and cartoons. I love claymation films. I love psychological movies. I love comedies. My top movies are Coraline, Ratatouille, Princess and the Frog, Tangled, Spiderman: Into the Multiverse, Black Swan, Gone Girl, Us, Midsommar, Blair Witch Project, Dunkirk, Knives Out, Ocean's Eight, Etc.

This is a just a little preview for who I am and my content. I gave enough for you to see if we have something in common or perhaps I do or think something that intrigues you. please reach out to be mutuals! so peace, love ya <3 - celeste

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kiribakuhappiness · 2 years

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How do you think Bakugou and Midoriya’s relationship (friendship?) would have been like if they hadn’t had their falling out? (I’ve seen a couple of fics explore this). And, on a separate note, now do you think things would have turned out if Bakugou and Kirishima had met when they were little?

Hmhmm, here's the thing about all of this. (A heads up; I tried so hard not to ramble but woah what a shocker, I fucking rambled because I am incapable of possessing the slightest shred of self control. Anyway...)

Sometimes I feel like the relationship that Bakugou and Midoriya share (in canon) is so fuddled and hard to decipher that everyone in the fandom has kinda adopted and morphed their own thoughts and interpretations on how they're meant to be portrayed. The reason that I'm prefacing this answer with this statement is because I don't want to offend anyone's personal attachment with the story or the characters, and that I'm very aware that talking about the relationship between Bakugou and Midoriya within the fandom can get... kinda tricky to navigate. These are all just my own thoughts, and if you disagree with me, I hope that won't dissuade you from at least seeing my point of view and understanding why I think about them the way that I do.

So. Bakugou and Midoriya. There's a lot to unpack there, and I think I'll start this off strong by admitting my first controversial (??) opinion but -

Bakugou and Midoriya never had a falling out.

They are literally just like that.

In the flashback scenes that we see within the story (I'm talking both manga and anime, mixed and mashed together, completely from memory so take it with a grain of salt but), yes, Bakugou and Midoriya used to hang out together when they were young. They've skipped rocks, and caught bugs, and played ball. But I don't think they were ever "best friends" or, quite frankly, even really "friends" to begin with at all.

Growing up, I lived in a pretty populated area just like Midoriya's neighborhood. Lots of apartment buildings, lots of nearby parks and harbors to explore, lots of other kids around. Since Bakugou and Midoriya have always gone to the same school (even when they were little babies) I can only infer that they live somewhat close to each other (despite the drastic differences in their housing situations, which happens. Well-to-do cul-de-sacs are generally only a few streets over from some of the more cramped apartment districts.)

As a kid, I would play with all of the other neighborhood kids and nearby school children nearly every single day. We'd walk into town together, play at the parks, ride the same tram systems, go to corner shops and get snacks, etc. But I wasn't really close with most of those kids, and I would hardly call any of them my friends.

We were acquittances by association - buddies by proximity - they lived there, and I lived there, and we saw each other a lot whether we wanted to or not, so we hung out. (Sidebar; that shit is so toxic ahaha - the WORST friendships I ever had were with those damn kids).

The reason that I think Bakugou and Midoriya have never been "the best of childhood friends who grew up having sleepovers together and then they had a falling out that ended their friendship and made their relationship strained like it is today" is because Bakugou has never acted like a friend to Midoriya. Bullying him and another kid in the park where I'm assuming they all played together because it's the NEIGHBORHOOD park, picking on Midoriya when he couldn't skip rocks at the harbor when they were all there with Bakugou's friends, Midoriya lagging behind in the corner shop, Bakugou being smug and even HAPPY at school when Midoriya was obviously so distraught after finding out that he was quirkless.

They were around each other by happenstance. They lived in the same district, went to the same schools, and that was about it. Midoriya wanted a friend, and Bakugou wanted someone to boss around, so they hung out sometimes. But Bakugou has never been nice to Midoriya, not even when they were kids, so I'm always a little confused about the "falling out" that people reference because, from what I've seen and how I've interpreted the text, there wasn't even a falling out that happened in the first place.

Bakugou was a bully. Midoriya was a lonely boy who wanted to have friends, and Bakugou’s confidence reminded him of All Might. Bakugou liked having someone around who he could ridicule in front of HIS friends, someone who was weak and small because that made him feel big and powerful, someone who was too nice to fight back, or too naïve to know that they were being made fun of or taken advantage of.

Bakugou has friends, they’re just not Midoriya. There are three boys (maybe four) who are shown consistently throughout the flashbacks hanging out with Bakugou all while growing up. He walks around school with them, they go into town together, they play at the arcade, they’re always huddled closer to each other with Midoriya standing a few paces away.

I think a lot of the "childhood friends" stuff that circles around in the fandom comes from the idea that "Bakugou was a good kid, at one point, before his ego got inflated by his quirk" but the truth is that he just wasn't.

And I'm not saying that to start controversy or slander Bakugou or whatever else but it’s an observation that I’ve made about his character while reading because I've been there before. I've been that shitty ass kid. That kid with their proud nose held high because adults showered them with praise for being more advanced in their developmental stages and put them on a pedestal above all their other classmates. That kid who sneered at everyone else and didn't want to connect with any of them because what could these absolute Nobodies possibly have to offer that he couldn't have already gotten for himself since he is oh-so Great and Amazing.

I think the “falling out” in question is... what, Bakugou telling Midoriya to pitch himself off the roof, right? (Correct me if I’m wrong, or if there’s another moment that you were thinking of), but in my opinion, I don’t think that’s a falling out. That is literally just Bakugou saying what he thinks.

Midoriya was quirkless at that point - weak, sniveling, a nobody who wouldn’t amount to anything because the only way to ever amount to anything in Bakugou’s mind is by becoming the number one hero - so Bakugou probably truly believed that Midoriya ending his own life and hoping to come back with a better quirk in his next one was some kind of mercy being bestowed upon him.

Some “friendly advice” from the big bad wolf to the pathetic little sheep.

In a section of Midoriya’s notebook in the manga somewhere, he literally talks about wanting to hurt Bakugou (and that was before the whole “throw yourself off the roof” comment even happened if I remember right). He talked about how low the other boy makes him feel, how fed up he is with his holier-than-thou attitude, and how much he wishes that he had the strength to stand up to him and finally rock his shit.

I just don’t understand where everyone keeps seeing “childhood friends who had a falling out and now their relationship is strained” because their relationship has ALWAYS been like that.

It was only after they got called into the headmaster’s office at Aldera and were told that they had both gotten accepted into Yuuei - only after Midoriya had a quirk and started doing things for HIMSELF and taking matters into his own hands - that Bakugou’s perception of the defenseless little rodent that he had grown so used to towering over started to change, which led to his entire worldview being challenged and his own insecurities within himself to run rampant because how could he LOSE in a training exercise on the very first day of hero school to DEKU when HE was supposed to be THE BEST?

So, to make an entirely too long post shorter, I don’t think anything about their relationship would have changed when they were young because I don’t think that their relationship changed at all until they both got accepted into Yuuei High. To me, that was the true turning point in their relationship - THAT was when their usual status quo shifted and started to morph into something new.

I hope that makes sense. I really don’t mind the whole childhood friends thing that are found in bkdk fics (and even some krbk fics), or the idea that they were really close at one point but then Bakugou got his quirk and everything changed from there. I really don’t mind bkdk as a ship or anything like that, I just don’t see it for my own personal enjoyment.

As for how I think Bakugou and Kirishima’s relationship would be different if they had met when they were younger, hmm, I don’t know. I feel like it would make their dynamic a little rockier, if anything.

Kirishima already wasn’t a big fan of Bakugou when they first met. Kirishima was all like, “tch, get a load of this psychopath” - (pretty sure that’s a direct quote ;D) - and it was only after fighting alongside him and getting to know him better that Kirishima was able to determine that Bakugou wasn’t all that bad of a guy, and the only reason that Kirishima was able to make this distinction, in my opinion, is because he saw Bakugou when Bakugou was at his most vulnerable and self-conscious in his life (following the whole blow to his ego when Midoriya got into Yuuei and all of his spiraling self-doubt that transpired after it).

Kirishima, as we all know, has had more than his fair share of insecurities in the past. I think that’s why he’s so able to easily recognize Bakugou’s insecurities, even when the rest of their classmates might not know what the heck he’s talking about. And I think that it’s because of these insecurities that Kirishima decided that, hey, we’re all dealing with our own troubles - a guy like that could use a good friend (not a lackey, or a henchmen, or someone who will cackle at all of his rude jabs and taunting insults, but a true friend who will tell him when he’s being a bit much and who can help steer him in the right direction without inadvertently trying to change who he is as a person).

But if Kirishima met Bakugou when they were younger, there would be none of those insecurities around to bridge that connection between them. Bakugou was a bully, and we saw how chivalrous Kirishima was even in junior high (he wanted so badly to always stand up for what he believed was right), so I’m afraid to say it, but I actually think that if they met at any point before Yuuei, that Kirishima would have hated Bakugou the same way that he resents Monoma.

Oof. These answers weren’t the fun kind, and for that I apologize :,D I’m sure you were expecting some kind of fluff... just know that I do have really positive feelings about Bakugou and Midoriya in other aspects of their relationship, and that I do enjoy the fics of junior high Bakugou and Kirishima meeting and all of that.

These were just my unfiltered thoughts on these particular topics! x

#I'm afraid to even tag this post #I'm not going to tag any specific names or anything ahaha #I don't want the wrong people to see it and get upset #just know that these are all my own views #headcanons if you will #this probably also explains to some people why I haven't answered certain prompts or asks #in regards to the gremlin and the broccoli #but I hope this all made sense #thanks anon for the ask!#bnha #asks

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kmclaude · 2 years

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HAPPY WEED/COLUMBINE/HITLER DAY KLAUDE! *shotgunning a Red Bull in the work parking lot*

OKAY I have questions, feel free to elaborate as much or as little as you see fit:

What’s Jehan’s music taste like?

What’s Tiefer’s best memory?

Does Anne-Marie have any regrets?

What was the beginning of Carina and Emeiln’s relationship like? (God I’m so sorry if I spelled anything wrong)

What was school like for Tiefer and Anne?

Did Agnes want more children? Did Nathan?

Was there ever a time in Tiefer’s priesthood where he felt he was actually doing good and helping others? Did he even like that feeling?

HAPPY WEED DAY

ok uhhhh

What’s Jehan’s music taste like?

I associate the first Mumford & Sons album and Alice Cooper with him solely because that's the most fitting to him stuff on my old playlist for him.

That said, I think likely rock, acid rock, and folk stuff. Janis Joplin, Alice Cooper, Donovan. ...OK so basically get in a car, find the Classic Rock station on the radio, there. He's a basic bitch.

He'd probably like the record I just got by the band Psychedelic Witchcraft -- that flavor.

What’s Tiefer’s best memory?

Hmm...he has so few~ LOL uh...

Well one definitely involves Nathan. Probably the first time they fucked kissed as teens?

Probably high up there is the first night he lived on his own, away from Anne (now deceased), and realized he didn't have to be a bundle of nerves, waiting for something to go to shit.

Does Anne-Marie have any regrets?

Not using a condom :) Actually she probably has a lot but if she thinks about it she'll get depressed and that's not fun for her (or anyone who crosses her path when she's in A Mood)

What was the beginning of Carina and Emeiln’s relationship like? (God I’m so sorry if I spelled anything wrong)

Carina and Émile's relationship...definitely started hot. Very infatuated. Their relationship in general is very hot/cold:

What was school like for Tiefer and Anne?

Anne dropped out (for obvious reasons.) She honestly was probably rather good at it -- or would have been if she wasn't constantly bored by it and skipping class.

Tiefer was not great at school, though ironically he winds up in school the longest with a master's. He picked fights. He didn't care -- didn't see a lot of a reason to care when young. Started straightening out a bit, but still hard to care much. Serving in church helped straighten him out more by giving him something to a) occupy his time and hands and mind that b) he was good at (and genuinely praised for) and c) put him on a potential career track that wasn't like 'fisherman' or 'shitty job in a shitty town' or 'hooker' or 'you need to be super smart to GTFO from here'.

Anyway for both probably very a 1 or 2 room schoolhouse type situation.

Did Agnes want more children? Did Nathan?

Yes and ehhhhh, open to it. Getting two was like pulling teeth so even if Nathan was around they wouldn't have tried for a third,

Was there ever a time in Tiefer’s priesthood where he felt he was actually doing good and helping others? Did he even like that feeling?

Oh yeah.

He definitely felt it when he first returned and was the priest with an aging Fr. Michaud -- the unspoken part of his job being 'help care for him'. For Tiefer that was definitely a chance to repay a debt of sorts -- Michaud helped him GTFO and get into seminary. And it did good. And it felt good to be able to more or less pay back something that changed his life.

I'd say also the hard moments nobody likes -- the sicknesses, the deaths -- it's thankless and he's often the convenient intermediary between family and the death industry, if even used at all (else it's OK here's a wake, here's a box, let's dig a grave on the church grounds and well who do you think has a hand in that?) -- that makes him feel he's helping because people don't like those moments, can barely stomach them, but it comes fairly easy to him.

#character stuff #kmclaudereplies #kmclaudereplies to ask #kmclaudereplies to queerasforks #queerasforks

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agentsoftie · 3 years

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mistletoe

summary: you like him, a lot. so penny does something. something that may or may not involve mistletoe

a/n: it’s vlogmas y’all! also just act like this was uploaded on the 1st instead of the second. also, this love isn’t proof read so bare with me

pairing and word count: spencer x (f) reader & 1.6k

The day was December 1st, and in the paradise that is Virginia, that meant Holiday season. The lights were already up. And the cold air was picking up so much that one couldn't possibly go outside without wearing a coat, fearing for hyperthermia. Carolers were out around the town, singing their hearts out and freezing their hands off. Pictures With Santa was being set up in the park, and elves were practicing their dances and jingles. You could smell the cookies and the peppermint from a mile away. Christmas songs and melodies were playing all across town. And in response, all the hungover college kids were groaning and sulking all across town as they got their morning coffee and went to class.

Each radio was playing some form of holiday music instead of its general hillbilly religious crap. And you honestly didn't mind. Although, it's not like you ever bothered to turn on the radio. But today, something was different. Something had just changed. Maybe it was the fact that it was now the time for laughter and joy instead of harm. Maybe that was the change.

The cold air suddenly leaves your ears as the feeling of warmth rushes in. And to your surprise, you're greeted by a very peppy Lenny. Although, you did bring him a donut this morning, so that might have an effect. “Y/N! Good Morning!” He said as he buzzed you in. “You too Len! Hope you like the snack.” Before you could finish the question, he was half way done with his donuts. You smiled to yourself as you entered the elevator.

“Wait!” You heard someone yell as you were about to hit the button. You waited, as one does, and soon saw the figure that was running towards you clear up. “Spencer,” you breathed out as he ran in. “Y/n, hi.” He said as he was catching his breath.

You hit the button and quickly looked down, trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible. You see, you loved him. Ever since the dawn of time. Or, at least since last December. See, today, technically marks your one year anniversary since you joined the team. See, the first time you first laid eyes on him, the first time you said hello, your heart skipped a beat. The way he moved, the way he talked, just him. Him- himself, was memorizing enough. Never though. Never did you have the courage to talk or say anything to him. The team always noticed, but they never said anything, saying as you got along with them all great.

As soon as the elevator opened you ran for the two glass doors… As subtly as possible. The office smelt like peppermint and hot chocolate, and there was only one possible reason for that. Penelope.

“Good morning my lovely little love birds!”

You both stopped in your steps and looked at each other dead in the eye. “You guys, I’m joking, come on.” You both chuckled awkwardly and he quickly sprinted to his desk as you but your coffee on your desk.

“Like what you’ve done with the place Nel. Quite nice if I say so.”

She set a stack of piles on the desk, and straightened your hair.“You better like it. I stayed till like 10 getting everything ready and paid Lenny 20 dollars to help me set up half of these things.”

“Sucks that it’s gonna be down by mid January.” You say as you take some files off.

“Ooooh, yeah no, that’s not gonna happen.”

“Hey Nel, these aren't files.” You say as you give her the file you were looking at and picked through the other ones. Just to find that they weren't files either.

“Oh! Look at that! I never even noticed,” she said as she straightened her pasture. Spencer looked over to see what the commotion was about, but you tried not to pay attention.

“Spencer, would you come here please!”

You looked at Penelope and cursed in every single language you knew, and that was including ALS. She was the only one at the BAU who knew about your crush on Spencer. Since she was the reason you ever even wanted, or considered joining the BAU.

He got up and walked to your desk as you tried to look busy.

“What’s up Pen?” He said as he put his hand on your desk.

“I need you and Y/N to do something for me.” You looked shocked, but luckily, Spencer didn't see anything. “Can you please go down and do a few errands for me. Or well, for us.”

“Will we get paid?” You asked, she nonned.

“Is Hotch okay with this?” He asked, she, again, nodded. “Alright then, just text us what you need.” He said as he grabbed your hand and walked towards the door. You quickly grabbed your phone and wallet and pulled yourself forward. Your cheeks were rosy red. Or, as red as they could be, so you kept your head high. Although that probably doesn't work in your favor when you will be stuck with him the entire day.

“Okay, first of all, fresh roses.”

“Oooh, I know a great little flower shop. It’s by the bakery near Santa’s Little Shop.”

“Where?”

“It’s by my house here I’ll-”

“Got it.” He said as he cut you off. You wanted to ask him how he knew where you lived, but then you figured that before you came, he went over you and your file like 50 times. Or with him, most likely one.”

You looked out the window as snow fell down to the ground. It was a light snow, nothing big, nothing new. It was the type of snow where you could build a snowman, but it might take an eternity. He drove slowly and carefully turning on the radio to find The Beatles playing.

“Here we go.” He said as Blackbird was dying down in the background.

“Perfect.”

You both got out of the car and looked around. Some things just never change. Even when you’re off of work.

“Hi! Welcome!”

“Hey Blair! Where are all or your red, white, and green flowers?”

“That’s… oddly specific.” She spoke as she got up from behind the counter.

“Work.”

“Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say… Well okay, here we have our roses, a staple piece. Then, some white roses, another staple piece. And Finally, green roses!”

You smiled a little. It was small, but she saw it. “I think Y/N’s looking for something more festive? Like… these poinsettia’s!” Spencer said as he walked around the store/

“I’ll take the roses, all three colors, and the poinsettia’s please.”

She rang up the total and you were gonna give her your credit card, but he beat you too it.”Spence…” You trailed “Y/N don't.”

You grabbed the flowers and so did he. He opened the car and as soon as you got it, the conversation picked up once more. “You know, you never had to do that.”

“I wanted to.”

“Okay well so did I.”

“Well I did it first.”

“What are you, five?”

“Is that supposed to mean something Y/N?” He said as he looked over at you.

“Ehh ehh, eyes the road!” You said as you snapped at the road.

He simply laughed as he looked back. “Okay, Now the coffee shop. She said that we need fresh treats since some of the kids are coming over tonight.”

“What’s tonight?” You asked as you looked around at the white ground. This was the first time in a while, or maybe in forever that you were having a normal and fluent conversation with him. It’s always, “Hi Spencer *runs away” or “Hey, *dies inside*” BUt this, this was different. This was fun. This was something you could get used to.

“Remember the office party.”

“Fuck… Yeah I forgot.”

“Ehh don't worry, so did I. But I think I’m just gonna stay home and re-read something.”

“Weirdo,” you said as you ran your fingers through his hair and messed it up. Somehow, just somehow, your heart wasn't beating 20 times fast almost causing you to fall dead on the spot. But instead you were just having fun and laughing. With Spencer. Spencer Reid. Dr. Spencer Reid. Someone you’ve had a crush on for a year.

“Do you like the Holidays?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean, it was the only holiday that I looked forward to when I was a child. Still now too I guess. Which is highly concerning, but we’re not gonna talk about that.”

He chuckled. “You’re funny Y/N,”

“I know.” You said as you smirked.

You looked around at everything that was going on. Kids running around and people drinking hot chocolate. Other people watching the carolers sing, and others kissing under the mistletoe. One person though couldn't stop staring. They couldn't stop staring at you. They looked at your magnificent hair and melted. They looked into your eyes and watched them shine. And heard a baby laugh for the first time every time you talked or laughed.

“What about you Spence?”

“Huh?”

“You like the holidays?”

“Yeah,”

“Well, why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you like the holidays?”

“Because of mistletoe,”

“Because of what?”

You were cut off by his hand cuffing your face. I took you a moment to realize what was happening, but once you did, you melted in. You put your hands in his hair and pulled a little. The kiss was aggressive for a public kiss but you soon eased it up due to the fact that this was happening in public. You broke apart due to the fact that breathing exists. And smiled into each other's lips.

“I said… because of mistletoe.”

“Screw you Spencer Reid.”

“You wish.”

“Really, cuz that didn't look like it.”

“You kissed back.”

“By default,”

tagging; @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, @ghostly-angelic, @himarisolace

moot tags: (sorry if this annoys you) @blakeprentiss, @lizziechase, @goldenxreid

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #reader x spencer reid #mgg x reader #christmas fluff #Criminal Minds #mgg #spencer reid fluff #mgg fluff #spencer reid #i like this one #yeah #i spent like 3 hours on it #so dont let it flop #vlogmas #yeah yall #mira writes

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lavenderek · 3 years

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this is gonna be "queer discourse" feel free to skip

look as a disclaimer, i don't usually participate in this conversation because it's exhausting and it literally never goes anywhere? all that happens is one side writes feature length symposia on queer history and the other side feels talked down to and attacked and refuses to read it and both sides just start ignoring each other's arguments and they get further entrenched in their own perspective and nobody learns anything or bridges any gaps. im just becoming an old crone like that was too loud, i share characteristics with the hag

but we keep having power outages over here and it's disrupting my work and making me cranky so buckle up because betps coming to town

it's just that i didn't really enjoy this persons argument* because the entire point of an umbrella term is not having to give detailed disclosures of your identity lmao. like the whole purpose is for everyone to be included without having to prove themselves. including and especially you! op says they know they're gatekeeping so like at least they're self aware lmao

but i don't actually have to show you my fukken gay diagnosis papers to prove to you i'm not just a "cishet who's a little quirky" lmfao what're you a cop? mind your business shgdikfs

nobody is claiming queer has never been a slur. where has anyone ever claimed that. if you manage to muscle your way through those long ass speeches pro queer people write they all pretty explicitly lay out the history of the term. over and over again. from different users. because they're all pretty convinced y'all don't know about it. i assumed you did and they were preaching to the choir.

long story short it's been used to refer to the community for generations, it's also been used as a slur for just as long, and it's your personal choice whether or not you identify with it but you can't take it away from me.

also hey you know what while we're here on my blog i might as well put my shit out there, i don't actually care that queer studies are called queer studies in academia and i don't care if straight people refer to the queer community. once they start saying "queers" or using it as an insult they're over the line. homophobes who make fun of lgbtq for being too long can leave but it is unwieldy to say verbally and no i don't care if you think that's a shitty comment to make. i think the only reason lgbtq hasn't become a slur people have yelled at them is because it's so unnatural to say out loud lmfao okay wait actually that's actually kind of a power move. like when prince started identifying as a symbol and a ton of places had to install new software to be able to write about him

also it's my opinion that microlabels are actively detrimental to identity and community. it starts being about specifically designating an identity that includes an extremely small amount of people so that you can shrink the definition to remove people you don't agree with 🤖 the rainbow flag was never intended to be specific to gay men, it was always supposed to be for the entire community. i think finding pride and acceptance in your own identity is gold and diamonds but i don't think it's helpful to designate yourself a myers briggs score of what type of queer you are and why bi people are different at the expense of connecting with the community as a whole.

like what's the barrier here, is it the terfs? do you not want to be queer because there's terfs? terfs are no more welcome in the queer community than racists are, like help us clean up our community we all live here. sorry! we're family! maybe you don't want to be family with me but you gotta! as soon as i decided to be gay it stopped being optional please grieve and move on

idk i think you should extend your f*g argument to the other side of the conversation. im sensing some strawman bias over there. seems like you're super frustrated and that's heavily informing your perspective on the topic. but nobody asked me! probably because i'm just a fake queer who's actually just a quirky cishet. oh fuck that's why you don't want to be under an umbrella with me. welp 🤷‍♀️

tldr i'm queer and bisexual, sorry to disappoint anyone who is just now finding this out about me! if you unfollow please don't let me know about it! please also don't reblog this!

smell ya later!

*please don't contact this person if you disagree with them lmfao leave them tf alone they're allowed to say what they want on their own blog

#the discourse™#tbd

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stonertransdad · 3 years

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Life Update since I hadn't been on here in forever

The pandemic was/is wild! Lockdowns started literally around the time we were going to the fertility specialist to get her pregnant. I lost my job to COVID in March shortly before we did the procedure, but we decided there's never really a good time to have a kid. Why not during a global pandemic when one of us in unemployed? (BTW, I don't recommend having a kid during a pandemic. Not being able to go to all of the appointments and having to sit in the parking lot was brutal.)

Let's talk about May friends...it was rough. (TW for mention of suicide btw. I'll post a gif where it's safe to start again if you wanna skip over it.)

So May 1st is the anniversary of my father's suicide. It had been 4 years. I found his body and since he wasn't married, I had to handle his affairs and arrange his funeral. May 1st, 2020 my wife and I had a Zoom game night with our friends and I got drunk because everyone was drinking (except my wife because she was pregnant). After our game night at like 2am, I had a psychotic break. I threatened to kill myself numerous times. My wife tried to talk me down, but eventually called the cops to take me. I thank her for that because looking back, that was the moment I knew something needed to change. I was convinced the cops were gonna kill me because I'm a trans dude in rural West Texas. I legit took the phone out of my wife's hand, hung up on 911, and yeeted her phone across the backyard and tried to hop the fence. Eventually the cops came and talked me down. They took me to the hospital an hour away in handcuffs (for their protection I did nothing wrong). They took me to the religious hospital that I was born in. So when they looked up my info by my name and date of birth from my driver's license (I only changed my middle name) literally all my paperwork and my bracelet had my deadname and wrong gender despite all of my legal stuff saying male with my new middle name. I mentioned it to them and they didn't care. They misgendered me the entire time I was there. I had hit my head hella hard on the bath tub when my wife was trying to snap me out of it, did the hospital even check me for concussion? Nope. I had punched so many things and my hand and wrist were swollen and discolored. Did they check out my hand and wrist? Nope. I was there for over 10 hours before I was able to convince them I was okay and that it was just the alcohol. Did I mention during that 10 hours I was literally out in the hall on a gurney with no mask and this was when COVID was running rampant in Texas (the first time)? I heard people die that night. I had nothing to distract me because they took away all of my personal items and clothes. My wife picked me up and we went home and I have been sober ever since. It's not the first psychotic break I've had with alcohol in my system. Alcohol just doesn't agree with me, but I'm finding new things to replace it with.

TW has been lifted...it's safe now.

A couple of weeks after that I began teletherapy because I had been on the same mood stabilizer and anti-depressant for almost a decade. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense that I felt like it hadn't been working for at least a year. This is a reminder to check in with your doctor if you feel like your meds aren't working. You may just need a different dose or a new med. There's no shame in that. I bounced around on various medications trying to find the right combo, some side effects scarier than others, but we got there. Before this, I had been diagnosed with ADHD, Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My therapist threw out my Borderline diagnosis and said it was CPTSD instead, which made sense.

Fast forward to December because my wife was pregnant, I was unemployed still, and we did absolutely fuck-all because the global panini was still raging.

Our son was born on December 3, 2020. He weighed 5lbs 9oz and scared the ever loving shit out of us. He wasn't breathing when he was born so they called NICU in ASAP. I'm freaking out because I can hear and see what's going on while my wife was asking if he was okay as they put her guts back in place to sew her up. 5 or so minutes pass and a nurse asks if I want her to take some pictures. I'm like is he okay, he still hasn't cried. She's like "oh yeah, he's chillin." This goon was being held by a nurse and was just looking around not crying or anything. Chillest baby ever (he still is btw). I held him next to my wife's head until it was time to go back to the room. Little dude did have to spend 4 nights in the NICU because he couldn't keep his sugars or temperature regulated, but he was healthy otherwise. He's now 4 months old and is starting to sit up on his own a little bit and he's OBSESSED with standing. He's still a little guy, but very healthy and growing like a weed. He saves my life daily.

So after being unemployed for over 9 months, I started a new job working in a call center. I absolutely hate talking on the phone. It gives me anxiety and throws me into panic attacks, but I had been putting out hundreds of job applications since I lost my last job and this was the first offer I got. I wasn't really in a position to turn it down since my unemployment had ran out 2 months prior. It was 2 months of training, then we'd be on our own. I got thru the training and thought I could handle it...until they started putting us on live calls with someone helping us if we got stuck. My mental health hit the lowest point it had in a few years and my wife was terrified she was going to lose me. She convinced me to quit on February 28th (not because I didn't want to, but because I'm a stubborn ass who felt guilty). My meds got tweaked a little bit more dosage wise during this mess.

Starting about mid-February, I was experiencing severe shakiness, tremors, and spasms. I've always been a shaky person and never really thought too much about it, but at some points I could barely feed myself, or get a drink, or hold my son. On March 7th, I tried to make an appointment with my doctor about the weird symptoms I was experiencing, but she was out of town and her next opening wasn't until the 31st. My body said that won't work and my wife rushed me to the ER on the 9th...I had begun having seizures that day. I had no previous history of seizures. Got to the ER and had a seizure literally as I was walking thru the door, so they rushed me straight back. They took some blood and that was literally it. No MRI. No CT. They pumped me full of Ativan and said it was just a panic attack and to go home and chill.

Spoiler Alert: It wasn't just anxiety. I was having 20+ seizures a day. On the 10th, my wife rushed me to a different hospital...the good hospital over an hour away. First we had to drop off our gremlin with my mom to make things a little easier. Yet again, I had a seizure as I walked in the door and was taken back immediately. I don't really remember much because they kept pumping me full of Ativan and morphine because I had been in excruciating pain from the number of seizures I'd had. I do remember them doing a CT pretty quickly after I got there. Then they weren't happy with the results of the CT, so they took me to get an MRI, which showed possible signs of Multiple Sclerosis (but I didn't find that out until AFTER the notes showed up in my patient portal after being home a few days, so I raised hell...more on that later.) They did a 24 hour EEG on me and it showed nothing abnormal. Also, EEG glue is a bitch on your hair and scalp. After looking at everything and given my previous mental health history, they diagnosed me with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizures, or PNES. It is a subset of Functional Neurologic Disorder, or FND. I couldn't walk well anymore and had to use a walker when I was discharged. I was in the hospital for 3 days.

When I had my follow-up appointment on the 23rd, I asked why the possibility of MS was never mentioned to me since it was very clearly in the notes. The doctor didn't have an explanation. He called in a referral to neurology so I could get a 2nd MRI to confirm MS and marked it as high priority. He also didn't take my pain seriously. My pain levels had been at a 5 or higher every single minute since they took me off of the morphine in the hospital. He told me to keep taking prescription strength doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol, which I had been. I let him know I had been and it didn't even take the edge off the pain. He ignored me. Leading up to this appointment, I had also added urinary incontinence to my growing list of symptoms and was forced to wear diapers so I didn't have to do laundry all the time. The doctor also took me off my ADHD meds because they were lowering my seizure threshold. He also took me off of my sleeping meds and nightmare meds for the same reason I'm assuming.

I kept my appointment on the 31st with my primary doctor because she's been my doctor for 5 years now and I knew she'd take my pain seriously. She did. She immediately wrote me prescriptions for a muscle relaxer and Tylenol 4. She also told me that my referral had been rejected by neuro. She said my case wasn't a good one for what she called a "wallet biopsy" and the doctors in neurology could be real assholes. She immediately sent the referral to other locations to get an approval. I am still waiting on that despite it being marked as high priority. She wrote me a prescription for a wheelchair because we both agreed my wheelchair was not enough for particular days.

Yesterday my wheelchair was finally ready for pickup, so my wife drove me to go get it. I'm still unable to drive due to my seizures and my tremors and twitches as it's predominantly in my legs and arms. I am an ambulatory wheelchair user now. Some days I can go short distances without my walker, some days I can't go without my walker, some days I can't even get out of bed, and some days I will be using my wheelchair. Don't judge a book by its cover, not all disabilities are visible. I have managed to keep my daily seizure count down in single digits and have even had a few seizure free days. They are still incredibly taxing on my body. I feel like I can't ever replenish my spoons fast enough to keep up with anything in my life.

So all in all, life has been chaotic. We are moving from Texas to New Mexico in the next few weeks, which should be interesting considering I can't overdo it without throwing myself into seizures. We will be closer to my mother-in-law so she can help us with our son and I can start resting a bit more on the more difficult days. Being a stay-at-home dad with an invisible illness has been one of the most challenging things I've done in my life, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Sorry this is so long. I just wanted to update my followers since it's been over a year since I posted before a few days ago.

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bearpillowmonster · 3 years

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Horizon Zero Dawn Review

The game that critics have been raving about for years and I just haven't played. I heard a lot of people say "this needs a movie" but they say that about any game that dares to be a little bit cinematic because I personally disagree.

That first part is rough, the story seems so in your face, predictable and bland but I think the problem is that it didn't know how to put in its exposition. I think it naturally builds up as it goes on, getting bigger and broader, it's just those first experiences that can be a slog because you're pretty much learning what style you're going to play in.

I got more or less everything I expected, crafting, a skill tree, various weapons. What I didn't expect though are dialogue options. You can choose normally up to four paths, an intelligent one, a compassionate one, and a straightforward one. You don't have to worry about the stress of trying to reach a specific ending because there's really only one, the only thing that affects it is the amount of people that are in it. So does that make the choices irrelevant? Yes and no because there are different dialogue options and like I said, which means that you can get certain characters to like you more given the option you choose but not in the same way that relationship points work and I definitely felt the draw to do that whenever I came across my first side-quest.

Side-quests are interesting, I love tracking things in games, though it's rare that you actually get the chance to do it and here you have a good amount of opportunities. Is that all though? Far from it. I actually found myself searching for side-quests because the first two were so satisfying. It really only began to show its hand a bit more after those quests. As I mentioned, there are a lot more RPG elements than I first imagined but it starts to send you on scavenger hunts, especially that Dreamwillow one, that one I actually laughed out loud at every time I was turned away. It also starts to gatekeep to where it recommends that you be a certain level which is...odd? I mean at face value it looks like you could rock basically any combat situation that isn't context sensitive. Leveling up gives you abilities but they're more like Deus Ex on that front, where it's just for preference and upgrading, not necessarily strength. The only thing you improve on offense wise basically boils down to having the right materials or units to buy weapons then a matter of finding modifications. Other than that, leveling up seems to just increase your health. It really just depends on the quest too because I'll play one above my level and be fine then play another that's actually under my level and feel stuck.

Now I only played it on normal mode so something like "Ultra Hard" is bound to be more demanding but as far as actual side quest content, I feel like they have potential but just need tweaked, give me more stuff for major characters that affects their standing with me. Rather than having each quest be contained in its own story, have it affect you later in the game, let your actions be shown, give it rewards and consequences. There are some really great side-quests but there are also some crappy ones, it doesn't pass that threshold that most RPGs fall under or anything. However, I did find myself doing side-quests at my own free will and the ones that I didn't like or couldn't do at the time, I just skipped and focused on something else, I felt a lot more freedom with this game, like I didn't feel forced to grind or do a certain number of side-quests or really do anything. It encourages you to explore and play the way you want to play and I respect the heck out of that. Maybe it's different for other players though.

Perhaps my favorite actual side thing was the Cauldrons for those who actually played this, you'll know why. For those who didn't, just know that it's cool and let it be a surprise for when you go to one. You might expect these big set-pieces and bosses like Uncharted or GoW, but it's not really like that. I genuinely think that this is more video-gamey than it lets on which certainly takes up its runtime. One addition to side-quests that I would like to see is one where you don't know it's happening. For example, in this game, you'll come across random hunters who are attacking or being attacked by machines but rather than just going on about your day and them going on about their's, I want to fight off the machine and the person say "You saved my life, my name's Jara, I live in the town nearby and want to repay you." so you go there and there's trouble so it starts up a side-quest. Now don't get me wrong, there are PLENTY of instances of people getting attacked actually being a mission but most of the time someone in town will just tell you "I haven't seen this person in a while, can you go check on them for me?" It's the art of subtlety and also just doing a good deed and getting rewarded for it. It's a conscious choice and split decision rather than just another checkmark on your list to complete.

Now I won't bother listing the characters and rating them but there's a certain aspect that has me really enthused So, Aloy is an outcast and a lot of these side missions and scenarios reflect her, you'll see the way she can relate with other characters, making it almost poetic in a subliminal kind of way. Then they add this tribal and futuristic setting to it where Aloy acts as the medium, there are parts of the game where she questions the tribe because they cut themselves off from technology and just don't know any better and we as a viewer know that but having the main character view things in 'our' lens is pretty genius. To top that off, they give her enough personality to be her own character while giving us enough power to influence her so that we ourselves can REFLECT WITH HER. It's not her character that I'm impressed with, it's the layout of the story.

So, how is the main story? It's kind of like the Flood scenario in Halo if I'm being honest. I'm not going to spoil anything but it's passable, like I said, it's not like an Uncharted and it's not like a movie. The visuals just look good at times (I took all the pictures in this review myself and so much more!). I'd call it a futuristic/tribal mix between Shadow of the Tomb Raider and Skyrim but I see elements of a lot of things. (Also since it's post apoctalypic, you find items that we see in modern day, like how they call keys, "chimes"! They think they're windchimes because there are no more cars! I love that!)

It actually does a pretty good job at being an open world considering that there are tons of things to do on your routes as well as collect but it's not so much so that it seems unfeasible, as I said, I found myself doing a good chunk of the side stuff just because it was fun to do and I'm not even close to a completionist for any game. If you mess up, healing plants will still be there. As long as you save, enemy parts will still be there. A place can be cleared out and conquered so that enemies don't come back. The actual towns are peaceful so you can't get mangled by any bots outside of scripted instances.

The graphics are pretty good but I can see some error here and there, nothing necessarily game breaking but the animations and AI are definitely janky at times. It's pretty obvious from the get-go but I'll do my best to specify and give constructive criticism on what I found wrong with certain aspects of the game. Rost is slow, like slower than walking speed but that's not to speak for all NPCs, some run, some you don't need to follow, it was really just him. I've had NPCs who fight but miss every single time on simple enemies (that might not be a bug, that might just be a funny bit that someone decided to add in). Sabretooths have jumped through walls (granted the walls were kinda broken but I'm not sure if those big boys can fit when they can barely find the entrance) I found myself jumping to a ledge or on a rope but not land it and just drop (it really boils down to loosening the hit box for that). Which to add on to that, I would like more places to climb and jump to in general (other than stupid mountains). I felt like there wasn't really enough that I could climb and the places that I could, could've been a bit more obvious that I could, maybe even make it viewable with your focus if you don't want it to be visually outstanding. There's a day and night cycle and while I like that, I found some of the contrast to be annoying because I could be staring a ladder right in the face and not even know it sometimes because it would be so dark. I'm not going to complain too much about it because I didn't turn my brightness up, I just left it at default and I would assume the PS5 version fixes some of those little things.

Now, this one is kind of a gray area: Hiking up mountains. Skyrim, Fallout, and Death Stranding went too far and gave little to no barriers. They had you looking for sweet spots that weren't there in order to cheese your way through an area either on or off a beaten path. But I would compare this to something like GTA where it's not as bad and does have its limits but might need tightened up some more because I can certainly get to places that lead to nowhere.

I've made headshots that don't make contact or damage while using precision. Part of that problem was that they could be high up in a tower (which have spikes sticking out) and I would hit ABOVE the logs, to make a headshot but since it was in that vicinity, it registered that as the spikes' hitbox so it wouldn't cause any damage and just alert the enemy (same if I was in the tower, looking down). Input lag where I hit up button on the D-Pad to regain health and I have to keep pressing it. If I had to guess, you have to meet the requirements of not taking damage, staying still, etc in order for it to actually work but it doesn't really have a reason to do that and it doesn't "tell" you that those are the requirements (as far as I know).

During the final boss, one of the enemies hit me into a rock wall, trapping me inside of it and the boss was already half health so I really didn't want to have to restart (I also didn't know how far back the checkpoint was) so I kept shooting stuff and eventually the boss destroyed the wall, allowing me to get out (timed section, by the way). There have been a few times where a tree or leaf or something is obstructing a cutscene and sometimes there will be a mech in the background screaming over the NPC talking, which I'm sure is due to the cutscenes being real-time which is still pretty impressive. Now are these errors all the time? No, not at all, I'm just pointing out that some times these things happened and that I felt it needed ironed out but I wouldn't call this half baked or an unfinished product or anything, it's nowhere near that level. I get that there are so many NPCs that it's hard to account for them all with facial animations but whenever they're talking, it seems pretty static and sometimes the lips don't line up. There's this one guy who says that he got lost in a sandstorm but he's standing in snow. Again, little nitpicks in an otherwise great game.

Now, I got this game for free as a Playstation promotion but that doesn't necessarily mean it'll be great, I played a little bit of that Ratchet & Clank reboot that was offered and I wasn't impressed, I quit after the first few worlds and was glad I didn't buy it at launch, (despite being a classic PS2 R&C fan) but we're not here to review that. I also played Abzu and loved it but it was short so it was definitely worth a play but maybe not 60$ (I actually think it's 20$ at this point though). With this game, it's the whole complete edition with DLC and everything, it has the length, so it really just boils down to "Would I have spent money on it otherwise?"

I think I would've if I knew more about it because I think it just got better and better after that first part of the game. It's marketed a bit differently than what I ended up getting but I found myself pouring hours into this game and loving it for one reason or another. I actually bought Shadow of the Colossus along with it (which is considered a cult classic) but I liked Horizon so much better, definitely worth its full price in my opinion. (So your promotion worked on me Sony, congrats) It has its problems but the potential is there and I feel like a sequel would probably iron out a lot of my troubles with it, so it's definitely a franchise worth investing into.

If you're interested in what I thought of the DLC alone (if you didn't get the Ultimate edition and are wondering if the extra content is worth it) I have a separate post that goes into that here.

#hzd #horizon zero dawn #review #game #4/5

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cptsdstudyblr · 3 years

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Hey, I saw your religious trauma series thing and I was wondering 1) if questions are still open and 2) if I can ask questions even if I wasn't in a cult, technically?? I'm still not sure.

Up until this summer I was in a very bad church environment that made me hate the faith I was raised in. My father is a priest and graduated seminary when I was about six years old. Our first church was too small for him to have a good salary on, he had to get a second job, and people kept leaving so it got to the point where, six or seven years in, we were forced to move. The church we moved to had more priests, so it would maybe ease my dad's role as pastor, but it also had a really bad reputation. It was a community in which, generations ago, but not long enough, it had been controlled by this guy who was ignoring his bishop and the Metropolitan (he's the guy who runs the faith, kinda like the Pope but we're not catholic, we're Antiochian Orthodox Christians) and went on a power trip essentially brainwashing the church. The church ended up splitting up because half of them realized what was wrong and wanted to start their new church across town, while the rest stayed. Skip a few generations, and my father becomes the new pastor of the older church. Because he followed the rules of our religion, and obeyed the bishop, people thought he was too controlling, when it was really the opposite. It was really hard on my family and made me and my siblings start to resent the faith, even though we knew that wasn't the issue. Not to mention, all three of us kids were very uncomfortable with how traditional our faith is about LGBTQ issues and other outdated values, but never felt comfortable talking about it with our parents. I was in this situation from 7th grade to junior year of high school, when we were essentially kicked out because someone close to our bishop tried to paint my dad as a bad pastor. He's still a priest of our new church, but if anything I hate my new church more bc it's someone else at the pulpit, someome I just couldn't agree with. Now I'm almost an adult and I'm scared about how to treat my faith in the future. My parents don't make me go to church anymore bc I came out as nonbinary and talked about some of these issues, and they're very kind and try to be understanding and supportive in the ways they can be. But I'm still very nervous about how to go forward with this, particularly in my relationship with my family and friends who also grew up Orthodox, particularly ones that are more politically conservative. Any tips on processing this?

(sorry about the wall of text haha)

TW: religion, Christianity, cults

I’m so, so sorry it took me so long to answer this. I was out of power for a while due to a natural disaster, and now I’ve been trying to catch up on schoolwork in the aftermath of that.

Questions are always open on this blog, even if they aren’t relevant! I have a couple more parts I might add to the religious trauma series, but I’m not sure whether I’ll post them at this point.

My biggest advice would be to open up a conversation with your parents first. Obviously, make sure you’re safe and that it won’t blow up in your face, but based on your question it seems like they are pretty supportive of you already. They’ll likely be able to help you with how to approach other people, especially family. They may also have a better idea of how some family members will react and/or may be able to act as mediators or facilitators.

I’d also recommend talking to them about your boundaries when it comes to religion. For example, talk about how comfortable you are with being asked to attend church for holidays, whether you’re okay with religious music in the car, whether you’re okay with them talking to you about the sermon when they get home, etc. You might not reach a total agreement on boundaries, but it’s good to know where everybody stands on those issues going forwards and might also allow you to compromise in a way that satisfies everyone and avoids potential future discomfort.

Unfortunately, I’m not super familiar with your denomination or situation, so I can’t give much specific advice. However, I’ll give you some general suggestions that worked for me with talking to friends and family about leaving religion.

The biggest thing I can recommend is to avoid framing it as a discussion. What I mean by this is that you need to present it as “This is a choice I’ve made and here’s why. I’d appreciate your support.” Especially when it comes to older relatives, they are likely going to want to change your mind and convince you to come back. Framing your discussion this way may not totally avoid that issue, but it will avoid it coming across as if you’re asking for advice.

One tactic I used that satiated some family members was to basically say “This is my choice for right now, but it is not totally out of the question that I might return to the faith at some point in the future. Please don’t pressure me to return soon though, because I’m not in a place where I’m ready to consider that and your pressure will likely push me farther away.” I think framing it as though I might come back (even though I almost certainly won’t) made a lot of people feel a little more comfortable with the initial conversation when they might have not been supportive otherwise. This is an approach I’d personally recommend for people who are much more traditional and unwilling to acknowledge that it’s okay to have a difference in beliefs because it gives them permission to accept your current beliefs and still cling to that hope.

Make sure that you have your reasons prepared before any conversations. They will want to know why you are leaving religion, and you need to be prepared to give thorough, good reasons and have a discussion on the reasons. If you’ve clearly thought it through and are familiar with the beliefs of the religion and how they compare to your own beliefs, it will make a lot of people more comfortable with your choice because they can tell you have put a lot of thought into it.

Make it clear that you don’t have any issue with them continuing to practice religion. Be supportive of their choice to stay and try not to act uncomfortable around their expression of religion (unless, of course, it’s hateful or harmful). It’s a two-way street and if you want them to be comfortable with your lack of religion, you need to be comfortable with the presence of religion in their lives.

Best of luck!

#answer #reply #replies #cult #religion #tw #christian #christianity

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itmightbemikey · 3 years

Text

So yeah I'm becoming increasingly convinced I am actually living in some sort of horror story.

Okay, so, late last March I am up at like 3 AM like pretty much everyone was around then because time had just become utterly meaningless in that first month of Quarantine, just sort of pacing around my apartment like you do you are stuck in quarantine and it is 3 AM. Look out my front window, and across the street a couple houses down I see this:

Just, a big ol' cross of big red lights, just lighting up a porch.

At 3 AM.

Totally not ominous or anything like that.

I hopped on to Nextdoor to see if anyone had commented on the cross or explained it or wtf was going on, and, hidden among the 'found pet' and 'missing pet' and 'oh no a person in a hoodie walked somewhere in the general vicinity of my house plz be safe everyone' posts, there was this message, presented in it's entirety:

I have no idea what the reunion area is, I'm sure it's a charming place for... reunions, I guess, but, timing sure is a thing.

Anyway. Red Cross. It's just there, and as far as I can tell it's lit up 24/7, just there, outside my front window. Being an ominous cross glowing a bright red. Some peeps on Discord suggest that maybe it's just some sort of Easter decoration they had put up, and while that's not exactly a normal thing it at least sounds reasonable, so I just roll with that theory. Some people just be weird like that.

Anyway here's a pic I took in September.

Yeeeeeeeep. It's still there 5 months later. And it would remaion there until the end of November, when it finally goes away and is replaced with some sloppily thrown up christmas lights.

Though when the cross disappeared is also when my upstairs neighbor also just up and vanished too?

Like I don't have an exact timeframe on that, I just kind of noticed his van was no longer around. And then mid December a cop shows up at the building's front door, asking for him or if I'd seen him, because they found his van. It had seemingly been abandoned in a parking lot at the county event center outside of town, and they were trying to get a hold of him before it was impounded. Told them I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks, cop left to do other cop things, and I just kinda... sat with that for a while, because there really wasn't anything I could do beyond telling the cops "yo I haven't seen this guy for a while".

The Polar Vortex. My apartment was absolutely frigid, it couldn't get above 50, but my furnace was working and putting out heat. No idea where I was losing the heat, couldn't find any significant drafts that hadn't been there in previous years. So I trudge down to the Ace Hardware to get a space heater, pick up this tiny little personal desktop heater because it was literally all they had left other than the giant fuck-off propane heat cannons designed for heating warehouses or construction sites, and walking back up to my apartment building I look upstairs and see

The windows are wide open. All of them. In fucking February. And, since there's still been no sign of the upstairs neighbor, that means that they've been opened since late November, early December.

So my gas bill for Dec-Feb is an absolute fucking nightmare but that's besidses the point.

Skip forward to this week. Wednesday the landlord shows up, asking if I had any leaks in my apartment, there had been water leaking into and pooling in the basement. I tell them no, but mention that I think the guy upstairs from me hasn't been in his place since begining of december and the windows have been opened, maybe a pipe burst up there, to which the landlord looked.. confused and concerned at this. Which was a bit odd, because I'd figure the lack of rent checks after 3 months would have been noticeable, but maybe there were advance payments, who knows.

Anyway, landlord and his contractor got in and also called the police, they didn't find anybody up there (as well as no reports of him showing up in area hospitals), but they found the source of the leak. His toilet had been clogged and continually overflowing.

For Three Months.

Hey at least I know exactly why part of my bathroom ceiling had collapsed a month earlier. (I had reported it to the property management company but they apparently never forwarded the message to my landlord).

But hey, the windows are closed now at least, and the leak fixed. Anyway, the next day, I step out to pick up a package that had been delivered, and upstairs I hear a tap.... tap.... tap.... tap.... and sigh, thinking "Oh boy, what the fuck is leaking NOW." So, I head up the stairs to see if I could find it. I round the corner in the stairwell, start heading up the second stretch of stairs, when up over the banister pops someone wearing a full-on Gas Mask.

I certainly wasn't expecting that.

Turns out it was my other upstairs neighbor, she was sorting through some containers filled with items damaged in a house fire and was wearing the gas mask so as to not have the ash irritate her lungs, which she has issues with, and it was the respirators on the gas mask that was making the tapping sound. Anyway, we get to talking, she asks me if I know what's going on with the guy in the apartment next to hers, and I tell her the stuff I know, the cop, the landlord, the toilet, etc. And she tells me that around late November, she had started noticing a bad smell up there, but then one night shortly after she noticed the smell she heard a lot of stomping around and a loud ruckus in there, and it was after that that she too noticed the windows had been opened and that the shared wall between apartments had gotten ice cold.

Aaaand that's where I'm at right now. 10 ft below all of that. Just... living with all that information in my head. Had I mentioned that I'm on three different medications for anxiety? I'm on three different medications for anxiety, and I have all of that in my head. It's fine. I'm fine. It's Fine.

Anyway, if some of the worst stuff that's just circling around my brain meat comes to pass, well, I do have a way to defend myself. Because I got this nifty-ass corroded to all fuck Pipe Wrench that just so happened to fall out of my bathroom ceiling in January!

It's Fiiiiiiine.

#how I spent my quarantine vacation

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lovingsiriusoswald · 5 years

Text

Damned

Part 1 | 2 | 3

Fallen Angel!Sirius AU

Heavily inspired by: Fallen by Lauren Kate

Disclaimer: The first few parts will be based from the Prologue from the game, credits to Cybird for that! If the "series" gets too long, go to the "Damned - Sirius" tag for easy navigating!

************

Me and Ray started to discuss that what if MC was the next Alice. He had mentioned that she would be necessary for fending off the Red Army. Internally, I was against the idea of using a precious lady as a tool for war, but I nodded to him instead.

"If she joins the Black Army, we could withstand the magical forces of the Red Army."

A bright light from beyond the hedges to where MC had run off to had caught our attention. That's where the Red Army Generals' meeting had taken place. I hope she didn't get hurt by that light.

"Call in Luka and Seth, she's surely held captive by the Red Army now."

We immediately rushed back to the Black Army Headquarters and I called in Luka and Seth. They got a little too excited to hear that Alice had finally arrived in Cradle. Fenrir had overheard the orders and immediately volunteered to be back up in case of an emergency.

"All you need to do is spy on the Red Army barracks and see what they plan to do with MC. Do not engage a fight them. We will then meet up at the Central Quarters by sunrise. Understood?" I bellowed. I was worried that she would get scared if a fight broke out so suddenly.

"Yes sir!" They rushed to their horses and took off. I started to call the soldiers of the army, Ray had wanted to meet them before dawn by the courtyard. Once everyone was ready, I turned to Ray and he stood in front of them.

"Soldiers!" He shouts and the army stood upright then saluted. "A few hours ago, Alice had arrived in Cradle named as MC. She is currently held captive by the Red Army and no one knows what they plan to do with her. She could either be used as a weapon against us, or our greatest defense. " I flinched subtly at his last sentence. "We are at the verge of war and MC can help us resolve our conflicting issues if she joins our side. For the protection of Cradle nd its people, we must protect and keep watch over her. Understood?"

"Yes sir!" The soldiers respond in unison.

"Freedom soars on Raven wings!" Ray shouts.

"Freedom soars on Raven wings!" The soldiers yell back. Ray scans the soldiers and I start to worry more, it was bad timing that MC had arrived at a time like this. Her safety is something that I need to prioritize, but being the Queen of Spades, it was difficult to do so.

A raven messenger had arrived with a piece of paper tied around its neck. Ray immediately opens and reads the letter. His eyes grew wide and turned to us again. "Go to the Central Quarters quickly! Luka, Seth, and Fenrir are under fire!"

I rush to the carriage and the carriage takes off immediately. I looked up at the sky that was starting to glow a crimson light. The first rays of sunlight after a long eventful night had reached through the leaves of the trees and grass. I watched the landscape transition from the Black Army Headquarters, to the dewy fields and quiet town of the Black Territory, to the cobblestone streets and buildings of the Central Quarters quickly. My worry for MC was starting to grow -- what if she decides to join the Red Army? That means I would never be able to see her. Worse, I might just watch her fall in love with someone else.

The carriage stops and I quickly stepped out, I stood next to Ray and faced West, where the Red Army Territory was located. Three horses was seen at the distance and they were charging in fast.

"They're safe!" A Black Army soldier cheered. I squint to try and see the extra figure in Luka's arms. MC was with them!

They halt when they neared us and got off their horses. Luka helps MC off and I stare in shock. She didn't take their side, she's here!

"Glad you're back in one piece. But why did you bring MC back with you?" These weren't the words I wanted to say.

"Nice to see you again so soon, MC." Ray grins at her. She lets out a breath and smiles widely at us, her eyes squinting and her cheeks tinted with a light dash of pink. Despite being up all night, she looked like she was glowing against the sun's rays.

"Ray! Sirius! You have no idea how relieved I am to be back here!" She remarks happily to us. I could already see the imaginary flowers blooming around her and the cute little sparkles. She was absolutely adorable.

"MC, you already know our king and queen? Talk about a small world, huh?" Fenrir chips in. She inhales a sharp breath as she turns to look at us, I guess we forgot to tell her our roles.

"You're really good at popping up at the worst possible time." Ray softly smiles at her. It was very true, in her previous lives, she would always burst in at the most unconventional time. During her life as a 17th century Victorian noblewoman, she would suddenly enter at Security Meetings held at the Grand Hall, without really intending to. She would often use me as an excuse, which was both annoying and life saving. Another event was during the gladiator match in Greece, she fell from the balcony by accident, making me push the man I was fighting with so far away from me that he travelled across the arena and I quickly ran to save her from her fall.

"That's not my intention, but--" MC tries to explain before Luka had cut her off.

"We can chat later, the enemy is approaching." We turn our gazes up and see the four generals were leading a perfectly synchronized battalion of soldiers clad in red and white.

I see MC, tensed that something big was gonna happen.

"What the heck is this about?" Ray frowns as he watches the Red Army march towards us.

"Well, you see, we had a little run-in, so to speak, with the Red Army at the gates to their barracks." Seth explains.

"Seriously? Do I need to send you all back to school for Recon 101?" I frown at him. It wasn't necessary to put MC in danger like this.

"There you go again with that salty face. I don't know why you're so upset!" He smiles as if a fight wasn't brewing. "If you really thought that nothing was going to happen, then why did you bring so many men?" He glows as he grins, eyes so deceiving that you'd never think he wants to fight for a war.

"The Reds have been waiting for 500 years for an excuse to strike, and they've finally found their reason." Ray frowns as the Red Army's march had stopped. We faced against our opposing side.

"I'm quite impressed, I wasn't expecting the Black Army to send its leaders out to welcome us." Edgar smiles, unbefitting to the situation at hand.

"You took that girl, who was under our care, and then had the audacity to attack. Explain yourselves." Jonah's icy amber eyes pierces through us, the way he says it makes it look like he was playing the victim card.

"You almost had me fooled into thinking you were a victim there for a minute. Twist the truth too much and your face might end up that way too." I couldn't hold back my tongue from talking as I smirked at him, his eyebrows furrowing further.

"Say that once more and you'll rue the day you were born!" He says through gritted teeth.

"How dare you insult our Queen!" A red soldier retorts, I almost laugh at their pointless aggressiveness. The Red Army's growls and hate starts to grow louder until a loud voice booms from behind.

"Silence!" Lance bellows as the soldiers part in half to give way to his entrance. He looked powerful as always. His head was held high, with a cold emotionless gaze that had seemed the only expression he ever had since he became the King of Hearts.

"Bow down to the King of Hearts, Lancelot! May glory run crimson through our veins!" A soldier yells.

"May glory run crimson through our veins." His eyes were fixated on MC as she stares back, her body slightly shaking from tension. He knows. "My proud men, there is no need to draw your swords." His eyes glowed red as he waved his hand. Our weapons were lifted to the air and had suddenly vanished. A dirty player as always.

"There goes our boss again, overdoing it with the magic." Kyle sighs as his shoulders slightly slump down, making it known that he was uninterested with the whole fiasco.

"It looks like we skipped over the "threaten the enemy" stage." Seth declares as if this was a casual process.

"You think that's all it takes to stop us? Come on! We've been waiting for this battle for 500 years!" Fenrir's eyes held excitement and manic, he clenched his fists tightly as he smiles widely.

"He's right. Leaders of the past may had put this battle off, but the time has come for us to fight." Zero declares. He was a good soldier, his courage and strength made him the perfect Ace for the Red Army. He was always in a firm stance, always ready to fight.

"An excellent summation, Zero. Well done!" Edgar remarks out of nowhere, earning a pained look from him.

"If you're thinking of surrendering, now is the time. I hope you heard that Luka. " Jonah's face softens as he glances at his beloved younger brother, who in turn, looked away with a frown.

"Did somebody say something? Because all I heard was a gust of hot air." He rolls his eyes and Jonah sighs softly from across us.

I glance over at MC again and see her look back and forth the two sides worriedly, completely caught in the middle of a brewing war.

"Lance, call this off!" I call out to him, hoping that our friendship could reach through his heart and withdraw the fight.

"Don't speak as if we're friends, Queen of Spades." He looks at me with cold sharp eyes, his expression never faltering, then his voice lowered a pitch. "I have a message for the Black Army -- from this day forth, you have been absored into the Red Army."

"I have a message for the Red Army -- quit spouting nonsense." Ray replies, the two Kings glare sharply at each other.

"In that case, I'll just have to dissolve every last one of you." His eyes glowed crimson again as his hands start to illuminate with magic. Before he could raise it towards us, MC quickly reaches her hands out, in between the two Kings.

"Please! Stop!" She cries as a barrier of light appears in front of her. Lance's spell dissolves into nothing as the light fades away. He looks at her again, his frown softening back to his usual empty expression. "So Jonah's report was true." He looks at her from head to toe, "Alice the Second really has appeared." He walks towards MC and looks down at her, making his voice loud and clear for her to hear very clearly. "Just be warned, Alice -- I consider anybody who gets in my way an enemy." My blood boils at his threat, he didn't have to frighten her more, she's already confused and tired at everything being thrown at her all at once. You're not like this, what happened? Before I could open my mouth to speak, Ray had stepped forward.

"Stop making stuff up as you go!" He walks towards Lance and MC, shielding her away from the King of Hearts' gaze. "Her name is MC, not Alice."

A carriage violently pulled up before us, taking the attention of all the soldiers and Generals. "That'll do, gentlemen." Blanc steps out of the carriage, along with Oliver. He walks towards the two Kings, who then parted from each other. He smiles softly at MC, calming her worries little by little.

"I don't know what you're thinking, pulling a stunt like this so early in the morning. Don't you know people live here?" Oliver frowns at MC, who looked more confused than ever.

"The Central Quarter is a neutral zone. Any and all forms of combat are strictly prohibited here." He yells loud enough for everyone to hear. "The entire country of Cradle will be at great risk if you destroy its economic and political center."

You always knew how to break up a fight at the right time, thank you, Blanc.

After a long moment of silence, Lance finally speaks, anger and annoyance evident in his voice. "Let it be known, this is the only time I will humor the request of a record keeper. Troops, fall back!" MC sighs as Lance takes his leave, along with his entourage of soldiers.

"I can't leave you without something to fret over, Alice." Jonah walks up to her and Luka grips his greatsword tightly. I raise my hand to stop him from doing anything stupid, although I myself want to break that pretty boy's face for trying to threaten her like that. "I'll have you under my command soon enough. You'll learn to enjoy serving me." He leans a little to close for comfort and I hear Luka scowl at his brother under his breath. "I hope you'll look forward to it as much as I am." He turns and Lance faces MC once again.

"Alice -- I doubt that it will be long until I see you again, but until then, enjoy what little time you have left with your life." For a sheer second, his eyes grew sad, something was up. His cape flies around him as he turns, leading his troops to retreat back to the West. I gather up the courage to finally talk to her again, hoping to try and deviate the threats from scaring her too much.

"So you really are from the Land of Reason, MC?" I try my best to make small talk. She nods at me and meets my eyes again.

"Yes, I am. It wasn't my intention to come here, but now I'm stuck here until the next full moon." She explains. She looks away from me and bit her lip, thinking hard of what could happen next.

"Don't worry." I place my hand on her shoulder and she looks back up at me, hoping that this gesture could ease her nerves. "We'll make sure you find your way home." London was the safest place for her, she would never be happy here, being caught up in the middle of a war. I rethink my choices and plan what to do to keep her safe and under my care, but I know that it would never be possible.

Things need to change, and sending her home in 30 days is all I need to do to keep her safe. I'm fighting against fate now.

"Thank you, Sirius." She smiles up at me, the tiredness had slowly grown evident in her eyes.

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thesun · 3 years

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*Today's top News* ➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣

1. Nation celebrated the seventh International Day of Yoga virtually due to the coronavirus pandemic. The lead programme of the event, held by the Union Ministry of AYUSH, began at 6:30 am. During the programme, Union Minister of State for AYUSH Kiran Rijiju & PM Modi addressed the nation.

2. Vice President, M. Venkaiah Naidu appealed to the people to make Yoga a part of their daily lives.

3. The Record of 80 lakh COVID-19 vaccine doses administered so far on 1st day of nationwide free vaccination drive (21 June). All citizens above the age of 18 can avail free vaccination at any govt facility. The Centre will buy 75% of the total vaccine production from vaccine manufacturers & give it to the state govts free of cost.

4. J&K govt cancels annual Shri Amarnath Ji Yatra in view of COVID-19 pandemic.

5. The Govt has extended the waiver of Inter-State Transmission system (ISTS) charges on transmission of electricity generated from solar & wind sources up to 30th June 2025. Earlier, it was up to 30th June 2023.

6. Former Inspector General of Punjab Police Kunwar Vijay Pratap Singh today joined the Aam Aadmi Party at Amritsar.

7. Tripura, Chief Minister Biplab Kumar Deb on 21 June inaugurated the mega vaccination drive for the age group of 18- 44 yrs as part of the pan-India vaccination drive for June 21 and 22.

The programme was organised at IMA house Agartala.

8. Tamil Nadu Assembly session to continue till June 24. The session began yesterday with the address of Governor Banwarilal Purohit.

9. Tamil Nadu govt has released guidelines for protecting school students from sexual abuse. The regulation states that every school should have a eight member student protection counsel group consisting of the school headmaster or headmistress, teachers, members of the parent teachers association, non teaching staff, outside members and management representatives.

10. Ahead of PM Modi’s June 24 J-K outreach the Congress has demanded repeal of JK Reorganisation Act, 2019, and restoration of status quo ante in the erstwhile state.

11. From Jul 2021, a higher Tax Deducted At Source (TDS) rate would be applicable for Income Tax Return (ITR) non-filers, according to the Finance Act, 2021. If a taxpayer has not filed TDS in the last 2 years & TDS deducted each year more than ₹50,000, the tax department will charge more while filing the ITR from July 1.

12. The Centre has initiated major penalty proceedings against former West Bengal Chief Secretary Alapan Bandyopadhyay for alleged misconduct & misbehavior. The wrangle over Bandopadhyay began after the chief minister and he both skipped a meeting with Prime Minister Narendra Modi over Cyclone Yaas last month.

13. The Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE) and Council for the Indian School Certificate Examinations (CISCE) boards have told the Supreme Court that class XII board examination results would be declared by July 31.

14. The security forces Indian Army & CRPF on Monday (21June) morning eliminated 3 top Lashkar-e-Taiba (LeT) terrorists, including Mudasir Pandit, in an encounter at Gund Brath in J&K Sopore.

15. The Indian Air Force (IAF) has raised the 2nd Rafale squadron, the ' *101 Falcons of Chhamb & Akhnoor* ' at Ambala. Ambala ahead of their formal induction at the Hasimara airbase in West Bengal.

16. Chief of Defence Staff General Bipin Rawat has called a meeting on Wednesday of the tri-services and other stake holders to understand their concerns over theatre commands and iron out differences before working towards the raising of maritime and air defence commands this year.

*✈INTERNATIONAL NEWS*

1. PM Modi announced that our country, along with UN and WHO, is launching an app called M-Yoga aiming to provide easy access to Yogic practice all over the world.

2. Pakistan Foreign Minister Shah Mahmood Qureshi has alleged that India is using Afghanistan for “carrying out terrorist activities” in Pakistan.

3. The Canadian govt has extended the suspension of direct flights from India to Canada till next month (21 July). The announcement in this regard was made on (21 June) Monday by the Public Health Agency of Canada.

4. India received USD 64 billion in Foreign Direct Investment in 2020, the 5th largest recipient of inflows in the world, according to a UN report.

5. Swami Vivekananda Cultural Centre, Embassy of India, Seoul South Korea, celebrated the 7th International Day of Yoga (IDY) celebrations in Seoul by organising yoga events at Busan University of Foreign Studies and Gandong-gu office in collaboration with Korea Yoga Association Yesterday (21 June).

*🌎WORLD NEWS🌍*

1. *International Yoga Day:* The UN has marked the day to raise awareness about the many benefits of practising Yoga for people all over the world. The date 21 June was chosen because it is the longest day in Northern Hemisphere. The word Yoga has originated from the Sanskrit word Yuja which means 'to join or to unite.

2. *US Navy tests new aircraft carriers's metal with powerful explosions* . The massive explosive was set off underwater near USS Gerald R. Ford, the first of a new class of advanced aircraft carriers, in the Atlantic Ocean.

3. The 7th International Day of Yoga was observed in Bangladesh with great enthusiasm across the country. Several events were organised in Dhaka & other parts of Bangladesh to mark the occasion.

4. Sweden's parliament ousted PM Stefan Lofven in a no-confidence vote on 21 June, giving the Social Democrat leader a week to resign & hand the speaker the job of finding a new govt, or call a snap election.

*🚣🚴🏇🏁🏊Sports:*

1. Men's Cricket WTC Final: 4th day's play between New Zealand and India washed out completely due to rain.

Uganda's Olympic squad has become the first to test positive for COVID-19 on arrival in Japan. The competition is due to start on 23rd of July.

2. Union Minister of Youth Affairs and Sports and Minister of the Ministry of Ayush Kiren Rijiju announces 25 Fit India Yoga centers across 9 states on occasion of IYD2021.

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_In Kohima(Nagaland)_

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Ⓝⓐⓥⓔⓔⓝ Ⓚⓤⓜⓐⓡ

*🇮🇳Facts about India🇮🇳*

Rishikesh is a city in India’s northern state of Uttarakhand, in the Himalayan foothills beside the Ganges River. The river is considered holy, and the city is renowned as a center for studying yoga and meditation. Temples and ashrams (centers for spiritual studies) line the eastern bank around Swarg Ashram, a traffic-free, alcohol-free and vegetarian enclave upstream from Rishikesh town.

Rishikesh is primarily famous for its spiritual importance. ... Rishikesh is the beginning of the famous Char Dham Yatra (Gangotri, Yamunotri, Kedarnath, Badrinath). There are a number of Ayurveda centres also where you can experience the ancient healing methods for body and mind.

The Bharat Mandir was established on the banks of the holy Ganges in around 12th Century by Guru Shri Shankaracharya. Inside the temple, there is an idol of lord Vishnu, made out of a single Saligram. Shri Shankaracharya also placed the Shri Yantra above the Vishnu idol.

*😀Thought of the day*

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." — *Mahatma Gandhi*

*Joke of the day*

*पप्पू* : मां सारे खिलौने बेड के नीचे छिपा दो...

*पप्पू की मां* : क्यों..?

*पप्पू* : क्योंकि मेरा दोस्त डब्बू आ रहा है..

*पप्पू की मां* : डब्बू खिलौने चुरा लेगा क्या...?

*पप्पू* : नहीं, वह अपने खिलौने पहचान लेगा

*😳Why❓❓❓*

*Why Don't We Remember Being Babies?*

Virtually nobody has memories from very early childhood because at that age, our brains don't yet function in a way that bundles information into the complex neural patterns that we know as memories. This is called "semantic memory

Until sometime between the ages two and four, try you however, children lack "episodic memory" -- memory regarding the details of a specific event. Such memories are stored in several parts of the brain's surface, or "cortex." For example, memory of sound is processed in the auditory cortexes, on the sides of the brain, while visual memory is managed by the visual cortex, at the back. A region of the brain called the hippocampus ties all the scattered pieces together. The hippocampus, tucked very neatly in the middle of our brain, is responsible for pulling those all together and tying them. At the age of seven, children could still recall more than 60% of the recorded events, but children who were just a year older remembered only about 40 %

The reason we don’t remember being babies is because infants and toddlers don’t have a fully developed memory. But babies as young as six months can form both short-term memories that last for minutes, and long-term memories that last weeks.

*LEARN Sanskrit*🙏🏻

*आकृति* : आकार Shape

🤔 *How it works* ⁉

*How the Telephone Works.*☎️📞

When a person speaks into a telephone, the sound waves created by his voice enter the mouthpiece. An electric current carries the sound to the telephone of the person he is talking to. ... When a person talks into the telephone, the sound waves strike the diaphragm and make it vibrate.

When two telephones are connected, analog voice data is transmitted over the copper wires of the PSTN (Public Switched Telephone Network). The voice data is then converted into electrical signals which are eventually routed in the switching centers. Finally, a connection is made and communication is possible.

The number dialled on a landline is routed via the telephone wire to the Electric cross connect system at the local telephone exchange. This system has a direct mapping for the number dialled to the location of the called person. It simply switches the call to subsequent cross connects till the destination is reached.

Something that converts energy from one form to another is called a *transducer* . The loudspeaker in a phone works in the opposite way: it takes an incoming electrical current and uses magnetism to convert the electrical energy back into sound energy you can hear.

💁🏻‍♂️ *GK TODAY*

*Alexander Graham Bell* , best known for his invention of the *telephone* , revolutionized communication as we know it. His interest in sound technology was deep-rooted and personal, as both his wife and mother were deaf.

🛕 *VEDIK GNAN*

*NARASIMHA* Avatar, Lord Vishnu incarnates himself as a semi-man, semi-lion in this world. The king of demons (asuras), Hiranyakasyapa, wanted to become immortal and wanted to remain young forever. To this end, he meditated for Lord Brahma and because of his severe penance, the gods were frightened and asked Brahma to pacify the king. Brahma was impressed by his austerity and granted him a wish. HiranyaKasyapa wished that he be neither killed by a man or beast, nor in daylight or at night and neither inside or outside a building. Having obtained the wish he considered himself the supreme God and frobade all worship of gods by anyone.

But his son Prahlada, was an ardent devotee of Vishnu. This enraged Hiranyakasyapa very much. He ordered numerous ways to kill Prahlada including asking his sister Holika to sit with Prahlada in the fire. But everytime Prahlada escaped unhurt. Enraged, once he asked Prahlad to show him the Lord Vishnu. Prahlad said, "He is everywhere". Further enraged, Hiranyakasyapa knocked down a pillar, and asked if Lord was present there. Lord Vishnu then emerged as a half lion, half man from the pillar which was neither inside the house nor outside, and the time was evening, neither night nor day. He then killed Hiranyakasyapa thus saving the life of his devotee Prahlada.

( *Note* : These home tips followed in villages/ancient traditions, it is up to you to use it or not🙏🏻)

*Health Benefits of Sweet Lime or Mosambi*

Juice helps enhance Immunity.

Vitamin C and other antioxidants present in sweet lime or its juice can help strengthen immunity. It helps stay away from colds and flu. Stimulate blood circulation and thus strengthens the immune system.

*Regards*

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[23/6 7:46 ಪೂರ್ವಾಹ್ನ] Babu Anjanappa: ╭───────────────────╮

🌄 *S̴h̴u̴b̴o̴u̴d̴h̴a̴y̴ : 23 Jun/जेस्ट मासा (Wednesday) ग्रीष्म ऋतू*🙏🏻

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*Today's top News* ➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣➣

1. A two-day monsoon session of the Maharashtra legislature will begin from July 5 to 6th July.

2. The all-party meeting convened by PM Modi in New Delhi on Thursday (24 June).

3. J &K former CM Farookh Abdullah and Mahbooba Mufti to attend all party meeting called by PM Modi on June 24.

4. Leaders of several opposition parties including the Trinamool Congress, the Samajwadi Party, the Aam Aadmi Party, the Rashtriya Lok Dal and the Left assembled at Natinoalist Congress Party chief Sharad Pawar's residence in New Delhi on 22 Jun (Tuesday) & discussed various issues facing the country, amid heightened speculation about the possibility of a third front against the ruling BJP.

5. *Gujarat CM Vijay Rupani e-launches Agricultural Diversification Scheme-2021,* benefiting vanbandhu- farmers in tribal areas. will get fertilizer-seed assistance of Rs. 31 crores in which 45 kg of urea, 50 kg of NPK and 50 kg of ammonium sulphate will be provided. Seeds of crops like maize, Bitter Melon (karela), Calabash (dudhi), tomato, millet, etc. are provided under this scheme.

6. Lok Sabha Speaker Shri Om Birla virtually inaugurated an online Indian and foreign language learning course for Members of Parliament, State / UT Legislatures, Officials and their families.

7. 22 cases of the Delta Plus variant of the coronavirus have been detected in India, with 16 from Maharashtra & the remaining from Madhya Pradesh and Kerala.

8. To check whether a taxpayer will be eligible to pay Tax Deducted at Source (TDS) at higher rates from next month, the Income Tax department has introduced a new functionality on the tax portal. The new section 206AB. If a taxpayer has not filed TDS in the last 2 years & aggregate of TDS exceeds Rs 50,000 in each year, the Income Tax department will charge more while filing the income tax returns (ITR) from July 1. The rate of TDS will be either twice the rate specified under the relevant section or provision or 5%, whichever is higher.

9. *The last date of filing Tax Deducted at Source (TDS) for the fourth quarter of financial year 2020-21 has been extended to June 30*

10. Tamil Nadu Chief Minister MK Stalin assures resolutions in Assembly against Farmer laws, the Citizenship Amendment Act. He said it would not be appropriate to adopt such resolutions.

11. The Andhra Pradesh High Court on Tuesday sentenced two IAS officials to one month’s imprisonment and a fine of Rs 1,000 each for not implementing court orders on the filling of certain vacancies in the horticulture department. panchayat raj commissioner Girija Shankar and horticulture commissioner Chiranjeevi Chowdary .

12. Supreme Court to hear plea of convict in Rajiv Gandhi assassination case after 3 weeks. A G Perarivalan, serving life sentence in the Rajiv Gandhi assassination case, seeking grant of parole. Rajiv Gandhi was assassinated on the night of May 21, 1991 at Sriperumbudur in Tamil Nadu by a woman suicide bomber.

13. Bengaluru court in Karnataka has directed former PM HD Deve Gowda to pay Rs 2 crore to Nandi Infrastructure Corridor Enterprise Ltd for allegedly defaming the company in 2011.

14. *CBSE to conduct optional exam between 15 August to 15 Sept* : The CBSE said if the candidates are not satisfied with their result, CBSE will provide online facility for registration for the examination. The facility to register for written exam will be offered online at CBSE’s official website - cbse.nic.in.

15. Raksha Mantri Rajnath Singh will visit the Cochin Shipyard Limited on June 25 (Friday) to review the progress of the Indigenous Aircraft Carrier (IAC). He is on two-day Kochi visit.

16. Lt. Gen. Ajay Kumar Suri took over as the Director General (DG) and Colonel Commandant of the Army Aviation on 21 June.

17. The Defence Ministry has signed a contract with Goa Shipyard Ltd for construction of two Pollution Control Vessels for Indian Coast Guard today. The Defence Ministry has said that it has been done at a cost of about Rs 583 crore.

18. *Born Today*🐣

Actor *Raj Babbar* (born 23 June 1952) is a Hindi and Punjabi film actor and politician belonging to Indian National Congress. 3 times member of the Lok Sabha and a 2 times member of the Upper House of the Indian Parliament. He was the President of Uttar Pradesh Congress Committee.

*✈INTERNATIONAL NEWS*

1. External Affairs Minister S Jaishankar is scheduled to address the United Nations Security Council (UNSC) debate on Afghanistan on 23 June (Wednesday).

2. UN Secretary-General on Myanmar has claimed that about 10,000 refugees have fled from Myanmar to India & Thailand as clashes in that country led to “acute” new displacements and alleged that the regional threat of the crisis is real.

3. India & China are likely to hold another round of diplomatic talks this week on eastern Ladakh with a focus on moving forward in disengagement of troops in the remaining friction points.

4. The United Kingdom posted a liaison officer at the Indian Navy's Information Fusion Centre (IFC) that has emerged as a key hub in tracking movements of ships and other developments in the Indian Ocean. Lt Commander Stephen Smith will be based full-time at the Centre.

5. US Pharma giant Pfizer is in the final stages of an agreement with India to supply anti-COVID-19 vaccines, Chief Executive Officer Dr Albert Bourla said.

*🌎WORLD NEWS🌍*

1. Pak PM Imran Khan has ruled out hosting American bases in Pakistan for military action inside war-torn Afghanistan, fearing it might lead to his country being "targeted in revenge attacks" by terrorists.

2. US President Joe Biden is looking forward to meet with his Afghan counterpart Ashraf Ghani on 25 June (Friday).

3. American Airlines will cut hundreds of flights over the next 3 weeks to avoid overloading its operation as demand for summer air travel rises faster than once expected.

4. Today 23 June - International Widow's Day is observed. To raise awareness globally about the violation of human rights that widows suffer & faces in several countries following the death of their spouses.

*🚣🚴🏇🏁🏊Sports:*

1. The ICC has announced prize money for the winner and runner-up of the World Test Championship Final. The winning team of the final between India and New Zealand will receive about 12 crore rupees along with an ICC Test Championship Mace. The losing team will receive 6 crore rupees approximately. The final match will start on June 18 at Ageas Bowl, Southampton.

2. Chinese swimmer star Sun Yang was banned for more than four years on Tuesday for breaking anti-doping rules, after a retrial at the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

3. Former captain Younis Khan on Tuesday (June 22) stepped down as Pakistan's batting coach. He was appointed last year in November on a two-year contract until the 2022 ICC T20 World Cup. The Pakistan team is due to start a tour of England from June 25 to July 20 for three ODIs and three T20Is. The team will next go to the West Indies from July 21 to August 24 to feature in five T20Is and two Tests.

4. *Norman Pritchard*

An Indian athlete & the first Olympic medal winner from India : Norman Gilbert Pritchard (23 June 1877 – 31 October 1929), also he was a British-Indian sportsperson and actor who became the first Asian-born athlete to win an Olympic medal when he won two silver medals in athletics at the 1900 Paris Olympics representing India.

5. International Olympics Day is observed on June 23 every year to celebrate sports and health. The occasion marks the day when International Olympic Committee was founded in 1894. ... Baron Pierre de Coubertin founded the International Olympic Committee (IOC) in 1894 and laid foundation of the Olympic Games.

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_In Bhubaneswar(Odhs)_

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*NIFTY* : *15772.75*

Ⓝⓐⓥⓔⓔⓝ Ⓚⓤⓜⓐⓡ

*🇮🇳Facts about India🇮🇳*

1 note · View note

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Bea & Buster

Bea: Buster, I appreciate you were doing Rio a favour but you need to go back to School, yesterday, like Bea: You've missed enough time as is Buster: She isn't ready yet Buster: I can't just leave her here Bea: I'm not asking about her, Rio can and will make her own plans Bea: This is about what you need to do Buster: I need to stay here Buster: I'm getting my work sent. It's fine Bea: What's going on here? Bea: Rio is perfectly capable of being on her own, and assuming that's why she needed to leave town, she doesn't need you there Buster: You just said it's only what I need to do that matters Buster: And I told you Buster: End of conversation Bea: You need to go to school Bea: Not up for discussion Buster: No, I need not to fall behind, which I'm not Buster: Why does it matter? You never normally bother to keep tabs Bea: Don't talk to me like that when you've given us reason to need to and you've always benefitted off our parenting approach before now Bea: What aren't you telling me, Buster? Buster: How exactly have I given you reason not to trust me? Buster: If I'm not telling you something, there's a reason Bea: When you may or may not have impregnated that girl Bea: is reason enough, no? Buster: When she took advantage of me, you mean Buster: Everyone else understands how fucked up that was, why don't you? Bea: I understand Bea: I also understand how you got yourself in the situation that was even a possibility Buster: So it's my fault for getting wasted Buster: Really nice, mum Bea: That isn't what I'm saying or what we're talking about Buster: What then? Buster: Let's not waste each other's time, shall we Bea: You're not too old for a slap Bea: But you are too old to behave like this Bea: Right, what's going on with you and Rio? Buster: I already told you why we're here Bea: Not what I asked or meant Bea: but your avoidance will speak for you if you don't chime in Buster: What do you want me to say? Buster: You clearly think you know something as things stand Bea: The truth Bea: I want to hear it from you Buster: I can't Bea: Oh God Bea: I don't need to hear the ins and outs but I'm right, aren't I? Buster: Nobody's in the headspace for this right now, mum Buster: Can't you just forget it Buster: Whatever you think Bea: No, I can't Bea: if I could I would Bea: what are you thinking Bea: you're only going to make things awkward for yourself Buster: Whatever you're not thinking, that's what I'm thinking Buster: 'Cause this isn't what you reckon it is, alright? Bea: So you're not sleeping together? Buster: Yeah but Bea: I knew it Bea: well, on both your heads be it because this won't end well Bea: I don't have to tell you how stupid it is Buster: I shouldn't have to tell you that I don't care, but I will if you need to hear it Buster: It's not stupid to us Bea: Evidently Buster: Don't Buster: You don't understand Bea: What don't I understand? Buster: I love her Buster: No, we love each other Bea: Don't joke about things like that Buster: I'm serious Bea: What Bea: No Bea: You better not be Buster: I am Buster: And she is Bea: When did this happen exactly Bea: how Buster: When did we get together or when did I fall in love with her? Buster: As for how, as you'd realized you must have some idea, yeah? Bea: When do you think you fell in love Bea: I do have some idea as for when it first started, I'm sure Buster: Maybe when I was a kid Buster: I've been fighting it for so long, I don't even know Buster: But we said it at Granddad's birthday Bea: Don't be ridiculous, that's a childhood crush Bea: How do you even know, you're so young Buster: You do know how much a hypocrite you're being, right? Buster: Shall I break the news to dad that you don't love him or would you rather Bea: This isn't about me and your Father Bea: it's different, you're different Buster: Maybe but I'm not a child Bea: No Bea: Just Bea: like you said, no one needs this Buster: We aren't going to tell anyone Buster: Else, I mean Buster: Someone else might but Bea: Well who the hell else knows Buster: Chloe thinks she does but I sorted that Buster: The main problem is that Drew knows for sure Buster: So far he's only told Indie but I doubt he's in any mood to keep our secrets now Bea: This is ridiculous Bea: Lord Buster: I'm sorry Buster: Not about me and her but that he can be the one to out us, especially right now Bea: No, I'm sorry for you Bea: because you have no idea how difficult you're making things for yourself Bea: it's you two that'll get hurt Bea: it might make a few people uncomfortable but really, not our business who you decide to bed in general so Bea: can't you just stop Buster: I get what you're saying but I do know how hard its already been Buster: And what it's already been like trying to act like we don't feel this way Buster: That really hurts too Buster: So no, we don't want wanna stop Buster: We wanna be together Bea: But how do you suppose you're going to do that if you're not going to tell everyone and live open and honest Bea: It won't work Buster: The same as we have been Buster: We will tell everyone, just not yet, like Buster: Unless Drew does and we have to Bea: You aren't going to have a choice Bea: he has no reason not to Bea: and that will taint how this is percieved, like it or not Buster: I can't make Rio tell everyone now, mum Buster: She doesn't even wanna go home as it is Bea: So let Drew speak for you? Buster: You know I don't want that Bea: I know Bea: I can't promise you he won't Bea: and I fail to see how you can assure that either yourself Bea: either way, you'll be forced to react somehow Buster: I've hurt him before, if I need to I'll do it again Bea: That's neither sensible nor practical Bea: though I see the appeal Buster: Tell what to do then Buster: If you were me, how would you handle it? Bea: You have to own it Bea: or else everyone else will decide what it is for you Bea: personally, I'd want to say before he did but if she can't then Bea: she can't, simple as Bea: but she isn't planning to stay in Skerries forever is she Buster: Obviously not Buster: She's coming back to London with me Bea: Nice of you to run that past me Bea: it's only my house, like Buster: She doesn't have to stay there but she's still coming Buster: I could hardly run it past you when I've only just convinced her myself and I didn't expect to have this convo Buster: What could I have said, exactly? Buster: She needs me, it's that simple Buster: If you don't like it, you don't like it Buster: I don't care Bea: You'd be running it past me when she was suddenly there Bea: Talk whatever shit you like we're not quite that checked out Bea: You're 18, you have no business doing anything like this, especially when your priority is where you'll be come October Buster: I have no business doing what, being in love? Buster: Or trying to take care of Rio after months and months of Drew's bullshit? Bea: Of moving her in! Bea: That's too far Buster: Then we'll go to a hotel Buster: It's not the first time Bea: You're going home and you're focusing on your exams Buster: I'm focusing on my exams regardless Buster: But I'll be staying with Rio, wherever that is Bea: Fine, it's your life Bea: but I don't have to fund it Bea: we'll cover the basics but that's it Buster: Fine Buster: I'm not doing this for a holiday Bea: If she's really coming to London then she can stay whilst she gets sorted with what she's doing but you aren't just moving her in Buster: That was never my intention Buster: I'm not trying to use this fucked up situation to my own advantage like that. Give me some credit, Jesus Bea: I didn't say you were Bea: I'm telling you to not get carried away, or try to tell me how it is in my own home Buster: What do you think is going to happen? Buster: I'm just trying to look after her Buster: I thought you'd be happy about that much Bea: Obviously I care about Rio and her wellbeing Bea: I just don't want you to get caught up in this because it's been so intense thus far Buster: I hear you but you have to understand that I'm deep in this Buster: I love her Bea: I know Bea: but you have to understand your sister also believes she's deeply in love with her straight married teacher so Bea: you and your cousin? I was hoping we'd be able to skip this conversation Bea: forgive me Buster: I'm sorry, mum Buster: It's not like I wanted this to happen, okay Buster: I tried really hard not to want it or let it Buster: For years I couldn't even be in the same room as her, do you have any idea what that's like? Bea: I know you didn't Bea: It Bea: it is what it is Bea: it's a shock but, if it can't be helped then it can't Buster: I know I keep letting you down Buster: But don't hate me, yeah? Buster: Or her Bea: I don't hate you Bea: either of you Bea: It isn't even that it's strictly a bad thing Bea: just a complicated thing, okay? Buster: Yeah Buster: Everything's a mess Buster: But she's the only thing keeping me sane through any of it Bea: Are things really that bad? Bea: I know the Chloe situation is stressful but Buster: It's not just stressful, what she's capable of is scares the shit out of me Buster: Add all the sneaking around and having to handle everything Drew's been trying to do Buster: I don't get to be honest with anyone about basically anything Bea: No, sorry, I shouldn't have worded it that way Bea: That is a lot for you to shoulder Bea: but the Drew stuff is over now, he's finished Bea: and you can talk to me and your Dad, I know you probably don't want to, about many things, but you always can Buster: It's not over for us 'cause he knows and whether he says anything now or not, there's the threat of it until we can speak for ourselves like you said Buster: It's another thing hanging over me while the Chloe thing still is Bea: That's why I really don't think you should wait much longer Bea: Easier said than done, I know but it probably would be easier than the stress of this Buster: But if I rush her into this and it goes badly with everyone else it'll ruin everything Buster: I can't lose her Buster: Not 'cause of him Bea was timed out 87 minutes ago Bea joined the chat 86 minutes ago Bea: Everyone will be alright Bea: Especially her family, they're pretty progressive Buster: Are you gonna tell dad about this? Bea: I don't have to Bea: It's up to you Buster: Please don't Buster: He'll look at me like I'm a massive fuck up again Bea: Oh, Buster Bea: Look, you can't help what you feel Bea: all you can do is work out the best way to handle it and move forward Bea: I won't say anything, period, so don't worry about that Bea: if this is what you want, then we'll both be happy for you, as long as you are Buster: Yeah? Buster: She makes me happy Buster: I know I need to handle it better though Bea: Yeah Bea: You don't need to have everything worked out, okay Bea: but you know, it helps if you can at least act it to the world Buster: Well, if nothing else, I can do that, like Bea: I know you can Buster: I love you too, you know that, yeah? Bea: Of course we do Bea: and we love you Buster: I swear you won't always have to deal with shit like this from me Bea: You're a teenager, it's what you're meant to do Bea: Don't worry about us, we're big enough and ugly enough to handle whatever you reckon you've got, that's our job Bea: Don't forget that, I know we aren't always there but we are, yeah? Buster: I do know that Buster: I just didn't always want it but Buster: I'm tired now, I'm so tired of acting like this all the time Buster: Not gonna let my guard down to the fucking world, like, what you said was right but Bea: I get it Bea: It's not a crime to want to work some things out on your own but you don't need to be isolated when that's no longer what you want Bea: It's normal, well, normal for us Buster: It's not always a bad thing Buster: I'm not trying to say you fucked me up, don't worry Bea: I'll just mark it down as another teenage cliche if you do, cheek Buster: I save those for Nance Bea: I'd tell her you said that Bea: but I've been enjoying the lack of squabbling and bitching lately Buster: Yeah, well I can't promise anything after she finds out everything I'm not telling her Bea: It's like you said Bea: she took advantage of you, and has been playing mindgames ever since Bea: your sister will understand only too well what she's capable of Bea: again, going to be a shock but she isn't going to blame you Buster: It'll be alright Buster: Whatever I have to do Bea: Yes Bea: Good Buster: Thanks mum, seriously Buster: I wasn't trying to turn this convo into you talking me off the ledge, like Bea: No need Bea: If you say you've got School handled, I believe you Bea: just keep me in the loop of what you're going to do next, yeah? Buster: I will Buster: We are coming back soon, I'm working on it Buster: What's it like there? Do I even wanna ask Bea: I know Bea: She's on autopilot now, which is good for the baby but any time I try to make her talk she just reminds me of stressing the baby so Bea: she's shutdown, frankly Buster: She's due soon Buster: Fuck knows if that'll be better or worse Bea: She feels most comfortable in medical settings Bea: I don't want to go there with how you can lose control in birth because well Bea: She just falls back on what needs to be done, always has Buster: Is she still home? I won't bring Rio to ours if you want Ro there Bea: No, she won't leave, her whole birth plan is in Dublin, you know how rigid she is Bea: I'll be staying here with her for a bit Bea: she'd already nested heavily, with his crap out there's barely a trace of Drew so Buster: Okay Buster: What about dad? Bea: He's already back in London Bea: he finds all this difficult, and Ro Buster: Who can blame him? Bea: Well, exactly Bea: but as I said, you're welcome to both go back there, I can warn him if you like but he'll be busy and you know he's not one to ask questions Buster: I can handle it Buster: You've got enough to do Bea: Alright Bea: I'll be commuting back and forth but I probably won't have much chance to check in at home Bea: but you know where I am Buster: Yeah Buster: And you can call me whenever, like Buster: I'll answer Buster: Except if I'm at school, 'cause you know, really important stuff Bea: Watch it Buster: Look after yourself too, mum, yeah? Bea: 'Course Buster: Then we're done Bea: There are more socially acceptable ways to end conversations, you know Buster: As well as less socially acceptable ones Buster: But fine Bea: Goodbye, Buster Buster: See you around, mum

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