#Eddie wants to be called Eddie? sure thing

[steddiecameraroll]

“Oh my god, Robin.” Steve is whispering into the mouth piece of his desk phone, begging she can hear him. Because he’s not going to be removing his hovering hand from over his mouth, while he groans into the phone, risking being overheard.

“What?” She sounds exasperated but not annoyed.

“You know the new guy? The one starting in IT today?”

“Yeah?” He can hear her clicking the ballpoint pen he thought he hid last week.

“He is so hot, and I need your help finding out if he plays for our team.”

“Your team, Steve. If he played for my team, this would be a different conversation. Why can’t you figure it out yourself?”

“Because Mike was the one that brought him by and you know how Mike feels about me. I’m pretty sure he told Eddie I was an asshole or something because he barely made eye contact. I don’t want to come on too strong and then I make it worse if he’s straight.” Steve glances over his cube wall to ensure no one’s listening. “Please, do this for me and I’ll buy you tacos for lunch.”

“Fine, oh speak of the devil. Here they come.” Steve hears her chair squeak. “I’ll call you back.”

They hang up and Steve leans in his chair trying to peer down the aisle and see if he can watch the interaction. Robin’s desk isn’t quite down the line so he can only see the top of Mike and Eddie’s head. Neither of their skulls are giving anything away so he sighs and accepts he’ll have to wait for Robin’s call.

After a painstaking 7 minutes Steve’s phone rings. He grabs it immediately and grunts an acknowledgment.

“Um.”

Steve’s stomach drops because that’s not Robin’s voice. “Sorry, this is Steve.”

“Hey, um, it’s Eddie. We just met.”

“Yeah,” Steve’s voice lilts up. “What’s up?”

“Oh, Robin said you had a question about something.” Of course she did.

“Uh, did she mention what it was about?” He’s going to murder her.

“No,” he sounds annoyed.

Think quick. “I was…do you play softball? I’m on a league and we’re always looking for new players.”

“No?” He’s probably wondering why he had Robin ask him to call. “Not really a sports guy.”

“Oh, yeah ok. That makes sense.” Steve rubs the back of his neck scrambling for conversation.

“Why does that make sense?”

Shit. “No, I just noticed your rings and nail polish. I can never keep polish on my nails during the season. Gets chipped too easily.” Eddie hums some kind of acknowledgment that Steve can’t interpret. “You’re probably in a band or something, way cooler than softball.” Steve sighs and needs to get out of this shit show of a conversation stat.

“I play guitar,” Eddie states simply.

“See? Yeah, so much cooler than softball. I never learned how to play anything. Wanted to, thought it would get me more chicks in high school.” Steve realizes what that sounds like and rushes to add. “Or anyone now.”

“Yeah, ok. Was there something computer related you needed help with?”

Steve wants to jump off the fifth floor of this building because why is he such a disaster at this? “Sorry, no. You’re probably busy. It was nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, you too, man.”

“Bye,” Eddie doesn’t respond and Steve drops the receiver down like he wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

“Well that was embarrassing.” Steve whips around to see Robin hovering behind him. “I set you up an easy hit and that’s what you do with it?” She has her right hand on her hip and her left hanging on the edge of his cube wall.

“You sabotaged me.” He points his finger at her then pushes himself to his feet. He needs more coffee.

“I did nothing of the sort.” She follows close behind as he weaves through the maze toward the break room.

“Yes you did. I asked you to find out and keep me away from the entire thing. You didn’t even send me a courtesy Slack message. This does not equal tacos.”

“Not fair!” She whines as he pushes the door open with his shoulder.

“It’s only fair since you didn’t do anything. I was the one who looked like an idiot fumbling to come up with something to say to the guy because my best friend refused to find out if he’s queer on her own.”

Robin’s eyes are wide and she’s not speaking which slightly terrifies Steve. He turns around to see the man of the hour pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“Hmm,” Eddie tuts, then leans against the counter with a level of nonchalance that shouldn’t be doing something for Steve. “That explains that. Glad I won’t be obsessing the rest of the day about what in the world the hot guy was going on about.”

Eddie’s eyes flick up to Steve and when Steve sees the corner of Eddie’s mouth tick up he can’t help it when a blush spreads across his cheeks. Steve thinks he hears Robin back out of the room but he’s not going to turn around to verify.

“My band has a show this Friday. You should come.” He says while pushing his body away from the counter and stalking toward Steve.

“Yeah,” Steve watches the man move closer.

“I’ll email you the info.” Eddie stops a foot in front of Steve, much too close for casual, and it sends a rush of butterflies through his gut. “Harrington, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Cool,” Eddie puts his hands on Steve’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze as he steps past. “Oh and it’s too bad you don’t paint your nails more. I bet your fingers look pretty wrapped around…that bat.” Steve feels the weight of the pause and so does his dick if the twitch it gives means anything. “See ya later, man.”

When Eddie disappears through the doorway and Steve’s alone he exhales loudly just before Robin’s pushing her way back into the break room.

“Soooooo?”

“Wanna split the carne asada plate?”

“Yes!” She fist bumps into the air. “Knew it.”

“Also, how does manicures at lunch tomorrow sound?” She cocks her head at him. “He thinks my fingers would look good painted when holding-“

“Don’t!” She interrupts.

“A baseball bat,” he says innocently.

“Uh huh,” she narrows her eyes. “As long as you’re driving, I’m game.”

#Eddie finds out how good Steve’s fingers look late Friday night #modern office romance au #steddie #platonic stobin #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #my writing #steddie ficlet #steddiecameraroll posts

[buddiebeginz]

I know not everything the actors say in interviews is accurate but I’m pretty sure in the beginning of the season Oliver talked about how Buck was going to have to work for his next relationship. He talked very deliberately about how Buck has always had relationships come easy. In that he’ll like someone and then end up with them without having to really fight for them. He said Buck's next relationship was going to be different, yet things with T*mmy feel exactly the same as how it’s felt with most of the women Buck's been with. Where the relationship comes easy and it’s mostly based on sex and the person doesn’t really know who Buck is at his core.

I can’t help but wonder if Tim told Oliver that he was planning on making Buddie happen this season or at least moving them closer to happening and it got pushed into s8. In the beginning of this season we had a lot of joint Ryan and Oliver interviews more so than in previous years. Oliver also did a lot of posting/liking about Buddie and Ryan on insta. He also talked about Buddie in all his interviews more than in previous seasons. Given how Oliver has said multiple times in the past that he didn't want to lead people on about Buddie I can't help but feel like he thought things were going to play out differently.

If you watch the beginning of s7 it feels like we’re heading towards something important happening with Buddie. We had a lot of Buddie scenes including the locker room scene, the scene where Buddie talk about underlying sexual tension, the scene where Buck is showing how much he's like Chris' other dad, Buddie working together on multiple calls including rescuing Bobby together. Then of course there was 704 which was like a flashing neon sign saying Buck has feelings for Eddie and is scared Eddie is going to replace him.

Then in 705 it was Eddie who interrupts Buck's first date with a guy. It's Eddie that is the focus of the conversation where Buck comes out to Maddie, where she tells him that if he has something he needs to tell Eddie he will in his own time. Then we get a very intimate scene where Buck comes out to Eddie, including a lot of shared looks between them and a hug. Also of note that Buck only had two coming out scenes in the whole season and Eddie was chosen to be one of them. There was also the gym scene where they talked about Eddie's sex life.

To me it feels like Tim changed course around 706 when he cut a lot of Buddie stuff from the ep especially the karaoke scene. I know a lot of things were likely cut for time but still they shot a scene of Buddie being all touchy feely singing a karaoke love song for the Madney wedding ep. Karaoke was one of the first things Madney did when they were falling for one another it was too much of a parallel for it not to mean something.

I think 706 was really supposed to be a bigger Buddie episode than it turned out to be. This may also be why so much of the promo stuff was about Buddie. I think originally this was going to be the episode to start officially letting the audience know there was something there between them. You can also see parts of the original story where they had Buddie joined at the hip after the bachelor party (helping Maddie and looking for Chim) everything came off very coupley.

This may also explain why Abuela is at the wedding and Marisol isn't (more about Marisol later). I wonder if originally we were going to get some kind of scene with Abuela and Eddie where she says something about Buck. There's no way they brought her in to just stand in the background like an extra there had to have been a purpose for her character originally.

I think Tim changed course when he decided he wanted to do the Kim/Shannon Vertigo mess. Which I don’t get why someone didn’t step in and tell him how ridiculous this idea was especially in this short of a season. I feel like Tim wanted to do something artsy and also get Devin Kelley back on the show and this was how he chose to do that. Unfortunately though the story turned into a mess and worse I feel like parts of Eddie's emotional journey that deserved more focus were lost. Like even the general audience didn't know what to make of that scene where Kim was dressed up as Shannon.

The Vertigo story might also be a part of why there were rumours that Edy had finished filming prior to this storyline starting in 707. Maybe she thought she had but was brought back in for this storyline. Who knows? This season was basically being written almost as they were filming it and I'm pretty sure Tim was changing things left and right. You can see that more in some episodes vs others and definitely more the later the season goes on.

I also think that would explain why so little thought and time was put into both Eddie's relationship with Marisol and Buck's thing with T*mmy. I don't think either relationship was supposed to last the entire season. There was talk early on in s7 that Lou was only supposed to be around for something like four episodes definitely a short run. In interviews Oliver also made it seem like B/T wasn't going to last and that T*mmy eventually was going to be more of a mentor type figure for Buck.

Lou also used the word rom-com when referring to B/T. Although take that with a grain of salt because it may have been on one of his cameos and he said all kinds of stuff on there. But you can see rom-com love triangle type stuff being set up in 704/705/706 between Buck, Eddie, and T*mmy and then T*mmy just kind of disappears (until 709) and the Kim/Shannon thing happens.

This would explain why there is so little development in s7 for T*mmy and B/T's relationship to the point that they never even defined that relationship by the end of the season. They never even had Buck call him his boyfriend. Which I'm glad for that in a way but it just goes to show how bad the writing was this season. And as much as I want Buddie and as much as I dislike Lou and T*mmy I'm also really sad for Oliver because this is not the coming out storyline Buck deserved.

In 707 there was zero mention of T*mmy and this is also when the Kim/Shannon storyline started so I think this is when we see some significant changes to the storyline from wherever things were originally set to go. Though the scene with Buddie and Chris I think some of that was from whatever had been originally planned. It's too flirty to explain otherwise. Maybe originally it was going to be something where Eddie and Chris spend time at Buck's loft but because there was the Kim storyline they wrote it with Eddie leaving for the date.

The thing is Buck's feelings for Eddie throughout this whole season have been louder and more apparent than we've ever seen them be before. Oliver is clearly playing Buck as in love with Eddie. Go back and watch the scene in 704 where Eddie talks about clicking with T*mmy and see how Buck looks like his heart has broken into a million pieces. Or the way Buck watches Eddie in the coming out scene in 705. Or Buck's face in 709 after he said he was worried about Eddie. It's just so obvious that man loves Eddie and would do anything for him.

This is why I really thought there was a good probability of us getting an oh moment feelings realization from Buck in the finale or at the very least a moment where they hugged and consoled each other over losing their son. But we didn't even get that.

I'm honestly not surprised that Oliver went quiet on social media during the back half of s7. Throughout the whole season Oliver wasn't really showing support for B/T and he talked very little about the ship in his interviews. I think this was originally because the plan was for B/T only to be a short term thing and Oliver didn't want to lead anyone on about that ship. I also personally think Oliver has wanted to see Buddie happen for years so he's not going to be rooting for another ship.

I also get the vibe Oliver's not crazy about working with Lou. Anytime you see behind the scenes video and pics of the cast Lou isn't in them or if he is no one is interacting with him. You can also see in the one interview Oliver did with Lou that the chemistry between them just isn't there. They feel more like coworkers just doing their job vs how Ryan and Oliver always appear like giggling besties in every interview and behind the scenes thing we see them in.

Like others have said I'm just sad for Oliver. I think once Tim told Oliver about them wanting to do the bi Buck storyline he must have been so excited. He's talked in interviews about how he's always seen Buck as bi so he must have been thrilled when they said they were finally taking his character there. And for all the issues this season Buck's coming out is still an incredibly important storyline and has meant a lot to so many people. Oliver has even talked about all the people that have messaged him and how deeply they've been affected by a character like Buck coming out.

Still I'm sure Oliver wants more for Buck's love life than the lackluster relationship that he's been stuck with. You can tell in how he talks about Buddie that he wants to see that relationship happen and that he wants to make sure it's done right and doesn't play into stereotypes.

I just hate that T*mmy is the first guy they've stuck Buck with. I hate that Tim and the show have done nothing with this relationship. We don't even really know by the end of s7 how Buck feels about T*mmy or how he feels having been dating a guy for months. Some of that should have been revisited maybe with a talk between Buck and Maddie. But it's like others have said they made Buck bi and then just kind of forgot about him. I think though that's because like I said Tim pushed everything to the side to focus on the Vertigo plot and also all the stuff with Bobby to the detriment of everything else. Buddie was the original plan and Tim didn't really have much else for Buck to do so they left him in this nothing relationship.

I really hope s8 is better all around not just for Buddie but for Buck and Eddie as characters. I hope that Tim plans to follow through and actually make Buddie a reality not just because so many people ship them because of how important for queer representation a ship like Buddie becoming canon could be. I also want to see Oliver actually get to play Buck in a relationship he's proud to talk about.

#buddie #911 buddie #oliver stark #911 spoilers #911 7x10 #long post #911!

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 12

part 1, prev part

The Chief walks into the hospital room the next day in full uniform. Pulling out his key ring and setting the key in the lock. The cuffs open, clacking against each other as he takes them back.

Eddie is free.

“I owe you an apology, I should have taken these off a long time ago.”

Wayne looks at the Chief, wondering if he should be grateful or angry. “Why happed with the feds?”

“They agreed to point the other way. Still looking for a fall guy, but it won’t be your nephew. I made sure of that.”

“Thank you.”

The Chief huffs. “Don’t be thanking me. You should thank Harrington, he really knocked some sense into my head.”

That seems to happen often. Through his actions, the way that he talks to people. The way that he’s respected Wayne’s boundary to leave him and Eddie alone. The way he cares for Dustin. Cares for Eddie even when Wayne didn’t want him too. Fought for the things he knew were true, never giving up.

Wayne really needed to talk to him.

“I hear he’s been getting better,” the Chief continues. Taking the seat next to Wayne.

Wayne nods. “Yeah, wakin’ up slowly. Should be able to talk again in a few days.”

The Chief nods. “I know I was really dragging my feet to get the cuffs off, but my offer still stands. If you need anything, feel free to give me a call. I still can’t tell you everything that happened, but as time goes on, you’re going to have a lot of questions. I can hopefully give you some answers. Lend a hand when you need me to.”

There’s going to be a lot of things that Wayne will never understand. Life has shown him that already. There were things that he didn’t understand before and learned to.

He can do it all again. Try to ignore the need for answers and try to understand. Have the patience he had when Eddie was younger. As he was learning how to be the person Eddie needed him to be.

“I appreciate that, Chief.”

“Please, just call me Jim.”

Jim leaves a little after that. Giving Wayne some space. He goes on a walk a little while later. Wanting some fresh air. Coming back to see Dustin heading down the hall, Steve sitting peacefully in the waiting room. Looking a hell of a lot better than yesterday.

“Can I talk to you?” Wayne sits down across from him. Ready to actually have a conversation with him for once.

Steve sits up a bit straighter, trying to make a better impression. “Yeah, sure.”

Wayne clears his throat. “I owe you an apology. You never gave me a reason to treat you the way I did and it was harsh of me to assume things about you. It’s not an excuse, but I was angry at a lot of things and seein’ you walk out of here fine while Eddie’s not. . . It was an easy thing for me to be mad at.”

“I don’t blame you. I think I would have reacted the same if it was my kid in Eddie’s position. You really have nothing to apologize for.”

“But I do,” Wayne insists. “You all clearly went through something that I don’t fully understand. I had no right to keep you from seeing him.”

Steve has a look a mix emotions. Like he’s fighting between gratitude and sorrow. “Would it be ok if I saw him now?”

Wayns nods. Walking down the hall with Steve to Eddie’s room, letting him sit in the chair next to him. He swears that he sees tears start to form in Steve’s eyes, but he blinks them away before he can confirm.

“Where’s the kid?” Wayne asks.

Steve clears his throat. “Visiting Max. She’s doing a lot better now.”

“That’s good.”

“He looks so different,” Steve says after a break of silence. “Like the energy of him was sucked out.”

Wayne nods, having felt the same way for a long time.

“I know I didn’t know him that long, but.” Steve takes a breath. “During that week, he was really starting to feel like someone who could become a friend. I was really looking forward to becoming his friend.”

“What happened to him?” Wayns asks, desperate. “What happened to you?”

Steve meets his eyes, a troubled look resting on his face. The want to tell him but the knowledge that he can’t. “I wish I could tell you, but I legally can’t. I know that probably doesn’t make it better.”

“It doesn’t. But I appreciate you trying.”

Dustin comes in and reads his chapter like he always does. Having to pull up another chair since Steve stole his. They leave shortly after it’s done. Giving Wayne a few minutes to himself before he has to leave for work.

He leans closer to Eddie’s bed, placing a hand on the empty bar. Afraid to touch him, to do anything to make him worse. But he hasn’t said much in the days he’s been here. Too hopeless to imagine that Eddie could hear him. Today, he decides to try.

“Hey, kid. I’m sorry that I haven’t talked to you much in the past week. You must think there’s somethin’ up. That you did somethin’ to make me not talk to you. That’s not the case.”

Fear like this is something that Wayne never wanted to experience. Losing a child is something that a parent never wanted to even think about. Let alone live through. And while Eddie isn’t technically Wayne’s kid, he is in all the ways that matter.

“Truth is, I was scared. I thought I lost you so many times in the past few weeks. Each time I came in here, I thought would be the day that the nurses told me you were really gone. That I lost my son.”

Words get choked in Wayne’s throat as tears fall down his face. Things he’s been too afraid to say all coming out at once.

“But I didn’t. You’re still here. And you’re gettin’ better and I am so proud of you.”

Eddie opens his eyes, looking toward Wayne. His fingers tense, raising slightly towards Wayne’s hand. Wayne places his hand on top of Eddie’s squeezing it tight.

“Nothin’ you could do could ever make me not proud of you.”

Note: I’m not crying, you’re crying. Jesus why do I do this to myself. Also this concludes chapter three, now posted on my ao3. Back to Dustin's POV in the next part

part 1, part 2. part 3. part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11

tag list, let me know if you want to be added or removed: @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

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@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

#chills right to the marrow fic #this fic is going to be so long #i am now realizing #stranger things #stranger things fanfic #wayne munson #wayne pov #steve harrington #jim hopper #eddie munson #finally somewhat concious #everyone lives/nobody dies #hospitals #pre steddie

[flowercrowngods]

🤍🌷 @stevesbipanic and @the-winged-doe asked to see ugly unpolished unrefined words, soo—

cw & tags: past major character death, grief, attempted time-travel fix-it(s), eddie&robin besties || potential wip

Eddie takes a long drag of his cigarette, the biting hot smoke hitting the back of his throat and clawing its way into his lungs, going as deep as he allows and leaving a permanent mark that brings neither relief nor calmness tonight. His fingers shake where they’re pressed to his lips, but the rest of him is unmoving where he sits on the front porch of their new trailer. 

It’s quiet out here. It’s always quiet in Hawkins these days, the city a fucking ghosttown. 

And he knows it’s not because of the one they lost. He knows it’s not because of him. But still the emptiness is stark and the silence oppressivem more so than it ever has been. 

Everyone still looks for him, months later. Dustin still begins to speak, cutting himself off mid-sentence, and Robin still stands with enough space to either side, like she expects him to just show up and invade her space like the home he made for himself in there. 

And somewhere among all that is Eddie. With his very own history. Or, non-history, as it turns out. But history and non-history leave wounds alike, and the memories feel just as real. A small mercy, at the end of the day, for them to feel real when they’re all he has left anymore. 

He takes another drag, not quite exhaling before he obliterates the cigarette and fishes for a new one before the butt even hits the ground. 

Fumbling with the lighter in his pocket, he only gets as far as placing the butt between his lips before a hand snakes into his field of vision to snag it from his mouth. 

“Hey,” he complains halfheartedly but makes no attempt at getting it back, watching instead as Robin comes up to sit beside him, grimacing at the stink of tobacco that must be heavy around him. 

“You’re disgusting,” she says with no real heat behind her words.

Eddie shrugs, because yeah, sure. He’s been called worse things. Robin’s called him worse things. This is her being nice. Her complaininig about his incessant smoking is nothing new. What is new is what she does next, placing the cigarette between her own lips and reaching for the light he’s been holding in a loose grip since she arrived. 

She starts coughing immediately, pulling a face at the disgusting feeling of smoke in her lungs and tobacco on her tongue. But she keeps going. Eddie can only watch in surprise and mild horror. 

“These things’ll kill you,” he says then in an echo of her usual sentiment, aware that he sounds as bewildered as he feels. 

“Well,” Robin says, aiming for casual, but quickly interrupted by a wheeze and a cough that’s almost adorable. “Let them try.” 

Eddie huffs, a pale little smile lingering on his lips as he leans back against the stairs behind him, resting his weight on his forearm to watch her. There is something captivating about her. Eddie always wonders what it is, wants to study her forever. 

Maybe it’s only the lingering traces of Everything Steve Harrington that clings to her every breath, her every move, her every fucking cell, with how much he was a part of her and she of him. Maybe it’s their shared grief that has made Eddie fall a bit in love with her and with the way the moonlight catches in her hair and in the smoke wafting from her cigarette. 

But somehow he refuses to believe that all he loves about her is merely the memory of Steve. 

Robin, in turn, is kind enough to let him stare. Kind enough to let him find out what it is between them. If this friendship is more than a misguided projection of grief and mourning and trauma; more than co-dependence and the obsessive will to keep this one person in your life. This one person who understands. 

After a while of Robin just holding the cigarette between her fingers, becuase no matter how strong her will to self destruct, she never quite got it right with the smoking, Eddie snatches it back before it goes to waste completely. As if pulled in by a string attached to his hollowed out chest, Robin leans back and into him in one smooth motion. It’s too calculated, though, and Eddie can feel how much she sags once she doesn’t have to hold herself up anymore. 

He’ll hold her. It’s fine. She gets to rest if she wants to. God knows she needs it. 

The night is warm for mid-September, but still Robin shakes against him. Eddie holds her closer. 

Silence settles over them, and it’s not an easy one. Silence is never easy anymore, especially with them. He feels so deeply hollow that even the silence echoes in there, creating an ever-present, uncomfortable thrumming of apprehension and anxiety within him. A certain sense of doom, one that can’t quite decide if it’s only an echo itself. 

“I wanna stop time,” Robin says at last, the cigarette long dead between Eddie’s fingers, but he somehow can’t bring himself to flick it away. “I don’t want tomorrow.” 

I don’t ever want a new day. I don’t ever want another tomorrow. I just want Steve. 

They ring in his head still, another echo that only hollows him out further every time it reaches him — Robin, overcome with hysterical grief, screaming and crying, curled up on that hospital floor, her cries quieting down and making Eddie wish she would be loud again, because the quiet was what killed him. The quiet, the whispered words, the declarations that tomorrow could go fuck itself if it came without Steve made him wish, irrationally, desperately, that their roles were reversed. That he could have died and Steve could have lived, and Robin would never have to wish tomorrow never came. 

He’s not entirely sure if she remembers the words, too. If she even said them in this world. 

So he takes a deep breath, breathes away memories and non-histories, feels the heavy weight of his guitar pick hanging around his neck, resting on the scarred flesh of his chest, and tries not to think of the one string left on his acoustic guitar. Tries not to think of his one last attempt. One last try. 

“I know,” he tells her. “Me neither.” 

He peers over her head, lifting his left wrist to check his watch. Ten minutes until midnight. Ten minutes until Steve’s birthday. 

“It’s not tomorrow yet,” he tries lamely, and Robin huffs — the sound wet and bitter and hopeless, making Eddie’s eyes sting. 

“It’s always fucking tomorrow,” she rasps, her voice flat and wavering, and Eddie knows her well enough to know she’s about to cry. And she knows him well enough to do it. 

“I know,” he says again, and reaches for his necklace through his shirt. One more attempt. One more try. One more chance. His eyes burn. 

She turns to him after taking a moment to compose herself, peering up at him through her lashes. 

“Tell me again?” 

His heart falls, the tense apprehension vanishing from the air, bur quickly replaced by something a lot more heavy. Something that looks and smells and feels like grief. 

They both know he’ll do anything she asks. He can’t really bear saying not to her. And not about this, anyway — she’s the only one who knows. 

She’s the one who should have had the chance. 

“Which part?” he asks, holding a new cigarette out for her to light it. She does, and the both follow the flame of the lighter Robin always keeps in her pocket these days. 

She leans forward and takes a drag. Eddie lets her. 

“All of them.“

Eddie sighs, pain welling up inside him, and he closes his eyes against the night sky. “Robbie,” he pleads, but he doesn’t finish his plea. He’ll do it. He’ll do anything she asks. 

But before he starts recounting the tales of how he almost saved Steve Harrington, he finds himself saying something he never thought he’d tell her. 

“There’s one more.” The words hang in the air, and Robin doesn’t react. Has no idea what’s coming; what he’s about to tell her. The guitar pick is heavy on the necklace around his throat. “There’s one more try. One more chance. I’m… I have one more—“ 

He can’t even finish the sentence. Can’t bring himself to say it, lest it all be jinxed forever. He doesn’t want to hope. Wants to carry this weight for all eternity and never think about all those times he failed to save someone he was never meant to save at all. People like Eddie, they’re not made to save anyone. Hell, they can’t even save themselves. 

Steve was supposed to be the one doing the saving. 

And he did. God, he fucking did. But he was never supposed to— 

Cold fingers wrap around his own as Robin fits their hands together. 

“I hate you a little bit for telling me.” 

Eddie nods, trying to focus on the cold hand and the nicotine in his lungs, trying not to let panic and grief and guilt and the heavy weight of one more chance win. “I know.” 

“Hey, Eddie?” Robin says after a while, the silence stretching on, and it’s almost midnight now. “Can you— Would you do something for me?” 

He turns his head, flicking the butt of his cigarette out into the darkness beyond them. “What’s that?” 

“Don’t— Don’t try to, to save him. Don’t— Just… Just maybe, could you celebrate his birthday with him? Make sure he knows he’s… God, make sure he knows he’s loved? Last year, no one really made time on his birthday and we just moved it backwards but God, could you— It’s almost midnight, and—“ 

“Robbie,” Eddie interrupts her, his voice hoarse and wavering, his eyes burning with tears as he tugs her close and holds her to his chest. “You should go. Don’t you wanna…” 

But she’s shaking her head against him with a vehemence that can hardly be misunderstood. 

“No,” she cries, and it’s more of a sob than anything. “I think if I ever saw him again, I’d… I don’t know what I’d do. Burn the whole fucking world to the ground for him or some shit, I can’t— I’d probably just cry all the time and that wouldn’t be helpful, really.” There’s a weak, wet laugh that bubbles out of both of them, and Eddie’s wiping at Robin’s face, drying the tears and making way for new ones to fall. 

“I’d light a fire for you,” Eddie says, the same weak smile on his lips that Robin meets him with now. “Nineteen fucking fires, you hear me?” 

She laughs again, then buries her face in his neck in a way that never quite fit. In a way that Eddie always knew was supposed to be someone else’s neck. 

But he’s not here anymore. And Eddie can’t get him back. No matter how much he aches for it, no matter how much he learned over and over and over again how easy it is to love Steve Harrington and how hard, how fucking impossible it is to lose him. Over and over and over again. 

And to live without him. This one fucking time they all get. It’s not fair. 

And now Robin is asking him to go back one more time and make sure that Steve knows— That he knows. 

Somehow the thought of that feels nobler than any attempt to save him, to bring him back; to rewrite history from a lonely boy’s perspective and hope that no one else is reading along. 

It feels right, too. Fundamentally and suddenly, and with such an intensity that Eddie knows the decision has been made the second he started telling her. 

Still he hesitates. Robin’s sobs have calmed down, and Eddie’s hand finds its way into her hair. 

“Do you really mean it?” 

She nods.

He nods, too, but slower. Like he’s trying to sway himself. Which way, he doesn’t know. 

“Make him happy.” 

“Okay,” he decides after a while, feeling hollow and desperate, but feeling purpose burning underneath his skin again. “One last time.” 

He unwinds his arms from around her and heads inside to grab his acoustic guitar. The last remaining string, badly untuned because he never dared to touch it, stares back at him in both mockery and invitation. A dare. A chance. A promise. 

Outside, Robin is waiting for him, looking anxious. Eddie wants to hug her. He doesn’t, only tightens his grip around the guitar’s neck. 

“Listen, Eddie, if this is goodbye or something—“ 

“It’s a birthday party, Robsie,” he interrupts her, aiming for light, aiming for brave. “I’m coming back right here.” 

“I know,” she rushes to say, taking a step toward him and wringing her hands. It’s endearing. It’s genuine. Eddie really is a little in love with her. “But, y’know, you don’t mess with time, and I don’t know what all you already changed before and I don’t wanna know but… If this is goodbye, if something happens, I just wanna tell you that I’m gonna miss you. And that I think you’re really cool. And that Steve’s— he’s really missing out, okay. Okay?” 

Eddie breathes, taking in her words and letting them soak into his body, his every last fibre. 

“Okay,” he smiles. “Thank you. You’re… I’m kind of in love with you, Robin Buckley. So there had better be no change in the universe, ‘cause that would really suck.” 

They smile at each other, Eddie with his guitar and Robin with her lighter, and somehow this feels like a deja-vu. The antithesis to a moment forever burned into his memory.

Make him pay. 

Make him happy. 

Eddie tugs on his necklace and plays the string before he can think about it too hard; before he can decide otherwise. 

Distantly, he hears the church bells announcing midnight as the world around him fades. 

🤍 permanent tag list gang: @skiddit @inklessletter @aringofsalt @hellion-child @cryptic-cryptid @hotluncheddie @gutterflower77 @auroraplume @steddieonbigboy @n0-1-important @stevesjockstrap @puppy-steve @izzy2210 @itsall-taken @mangoinacan13 @madigoround @pukner @i-amthepizzaman @swimmingbirdrunningrock @hammity-hammer @stevesbipanic @bitchysunflower @estrellami-1 @goodolefashionedloverboi @awkwardgravity1 @devondespresso @bookworm0690 (lmk if you want on or off, for this story or permanently)

#steddie #steddie fic #eddie & robin #eddie munson #robin buckley #robin and eddie are grieving besties now #me writing another story about death and the inability to grieve?? it’s more likely than you think #this one probably doesn’t make sense yet because they’re both refusing to think about what’s real or think about anything at all #so past present and future need time to develop above the damaged psyche of two entirely too young adults #so bear with me and give us time #anyway i’m posting this despite its unpolished ugliness bc this is as good as it gets #if i were anything like my self this would be a 7k study but as it turns out writing about grief is exhausting #(hi taglist gang i hope it was okay to tag you for entirely too raw a draft for anyone to lay eyes on lmao 🤍)

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie sighed as Steve fastened the vest around him, still annoyed that he had lost this particular battle. He hadn’t spent a hundred and fifty dollars on the damn thing to go on him. 

“You got it for me against the bats, but now it’s you against the bats. It makes sense.” Steve said for the millionth time, taking Eddie’s sigh as the quiet complaint it was, “Don’t argue with me on this. Again. Does it fit okay? Tell me if it feels like it’s going to slip."

“It’s fine,” Eddie mumbled, the irritation he’d been holding back bleeding through, “It’s completely fine despite the fact I don’t fucking need-”

“Eddie,” Steve interrupted, “Stop. You’re doing the more dangerous thing-”

“Angel, don’t lie to me,” Eddie warned, his eye twitching at the very implication “You wouldn’t be letting Dustin do this shit if that was the case. We don't even know what you're up against.”

“I’m only ‘letting’ him because you’ll be there to keep him safe,” Steve sighed as he stepped back, admiring his own handiwork, “I trust you more than anyone to make sure he’s okay.”

“And who’s going to make sure you are?” Eddie asked.

Steve smiled at him. It was small, frail even. So far below the kind of joyous grins Eddie was used to. But it was real, hopeful. Steve pulled him into a hug, holding him close as he mumbled in his ear, “You will. When all of this is over, I know you’ll make sure I’m okay. Won’t you?”

Eddie couldn’t help but smile a little as he hugged him back, “You know I will. But I still fucking hate this. I don’t like splitting up. ”

“I don’t either,” Steve said softly, “But it won’t be for long, right?”

“Anytime is too long.”

“Sap.”

They were still clinging to each other, despite the fact that they were out of time. 

Everything was set. The set up on the roof, the bikes on each floor, their escape route secured. Even the journalism room was fortified, with one of the two doors blocked. The other, in prime position to be blocked just as easily, assuming that Eddie and Dustin made it back in one piece. The other three were already at the Creel house, waiting for their signal. There was nothing else to wait for. They couldn’t wait. Not when Chrissy was about to risk her fucking life. 

But Eddie still didn’t want to let him go. He never wanted to let him go. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Steve mumbled in his ear, “Just… promise me you’ll run if they start to overwhelm you, okay? Even if we aren’t back yet.”

Eddie nodded, even though it was a damn lie. He would just have to hope everything finished before he got to that point.

“I love you,” Steve murmured, letting his head slump down onto Eddie's shoulder, “So much.”

“I love you more,” Eddie mumbled back, “More than you can ever know.”

Steve nodded against him, fully aware that time was up. Nancy was already calling for him, but if anything the sound made him cling to Eddie harder. He gave him one last long squeeze before pulling back, kissing him quickly as he stepped away.

Eddie watched him and the others go, the anxiety about the whole fucked up situtation coming  back in full force, strong enough to nearly strangle him in it’s intensity. But he didn’t have time to dwell on it. 

Everything after that happened so fast, too fast. Their distraction worked perfectly, every single demon with ears was on their way towards them by the time Eddie had finished playing. They ran straight away, down the steps, down the hallways, with time to spare to block off the other exit in the journalism room. Everything was working. 

The bats themselves were struggling against their makeshift barricades, but there were too many of them to hold them back for long. They would have to leave. And leave soon, if they didn’t want to be completely overwhelmed. 

“You go first,” Eddie panted as he shoved Dustin towards their makeshift rope, his ears picking up on every sound the creaking wood of the old doors made, “Hurry!”

Dustin listened, climbing up and out of this fucked up world while Eddie lingered behind. 

Something was wrong. He knew something was wrong. If Steve and the others had won, then the bats would have already been dead, wouldn’t they? That’s what happened before with the dogs, years ago. They all went down at the same time they finished off the last big bad. 

So if Steve was okay, if they had all made it out, if they had won then they should have all gone down. But they hadn’t. They were alive and well, chomping at the bit to get at them. Which meant… that if he left, if he lost the interest of those same vile creatures, they could easily swarm right back to the house. 

Right back to Steve. Steve who was almost certainly fighting for his own life against God knew what. And that was assuming he was still alive. But… no.

Eddie couldn’t let himself think of the possibility. Steve had to be alive, and if he was alive then Eddie couldn’t risk running away. Not if it meant risking Steve’s life more than he already had. 

And if he wasn’t… then what did Eddie have to lose?

He could hear Dustin yelling at him to follow, the figure of him distorted through the portal. But he didn’t. Instead, Eddie cut the rope clean off, cutting off any way for Dustin to follow him on his impromptu suicidal plan. 

He could hear Dustin screaming at him, asking what the fuck he was doing. He didn’t have time to answer, not when the wood was straining underneath the weight of hundreds of monsters. Instead, he skidded towards the other door, pushing away the original furniture they had used to block it. The vast majority of the bats were concentrated towards where they saw them enter the room, their animalistic nature giving Eddie the slight advantage he needed. 

He didn’t look back when he bursted out of the room, he couldn’t bear to see the look on Dustin’s face. Instead, he sped down the hallway, listening to the trashing of wings hitting each other, all of them so desperate to get at him that they kept knocking each other to the ground. 

But they were following, all of them by the sounds of it. He didn’t look back,  instead he kept peddling, praying to any god out there that they would just fucking die already. 

But they didn’t. No, they were alive and well as they pursued him. He made it to the gym before the first one caught up, biting down hard into his calf. Hard enough for him to finally crash off the bike and topple to the floor. 

Everything was a blur after that, a pain filled blurr of screaming. 

It took a minute before they started tearing through the kevlar of the vest. If anything, most of them were focusing on it instead of the open parts of his body, almost like they were desperate to get to the shit inside of him that made him tick.

 Eddie couldn’t help but deliriously think that it was a fucked up instinct. The little assholes. But they had won, he felt it as they started to eat into him, no doubt sending his body into shock. 

Until it stopped. Suddenly, they were all going limp around him, the rows of teeth in his side staying embedded, but unmoving. He could barely feel the pain anymore by the time it happened.

Eddie laid there, breathing hard as he felt himself bleed out. He tried to move, tried to stand, but his body wouldn’t let him. Instead he was frozen, laying on the ground as he waited for an end he never wanted. 

He didn’t know if he did the right thing. Chances were, he’d never know. Everything was fading fast, too fast. Fast enough for Eddie to not even realize Dustin was in the room with him, not until he was lifting his head into his lap, his panicked voice cutting through the fog in his own head.

“E-Eddie?! Eddie, can you hear me?!”

Eddie nodded, his eyes feeling heavier by the moment. But he could see Dustin, Dustin who was already crying above him.

Eddie tried to smile at him, “Hey, Bud.”

“Don’t fucking bid me!” Dustin screeched, panicked hands working to try and stop the bleeding, “Why the fuck did you do that!?”

Eddie knew exactly why he did it. Eddie did it because he was a piece of shit, all the way to the end. 

Because he didn’t die to save Steve. He knew that. It wasn’t just to be his savior. Eddie was selfish when it came to Steve, worse than he could ever imagine. That prick of uncertainty, the vagueness of not knowing whether he was alive or dead, was all Eddie had needed. 

He was never going to risk a world without Steve in it. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Not if ever given the choice.

So he made his choice. He just didn’t have the chance to explain it all. Not now. He had more important things to say anyway, 

Eddie swallowed, his voice coming out weak, but there, “Tell Steve, I love him.”

Dustin shook his head, hard and fast, “Don’t fucking do this to us! You can’t do this!”

“Tell him he was everything to me,” Eddie went on, “T-Tell him that he deserves a good life. Make him promise to live it.”

“Tell him yourself!”

“Tell him I’m sorry,” Eddie finished quietly, the words barely escaping his mouth, “I’m so sorry.” 

It was… horrifyingly insufficient. No words would make this better. Nothing that could be said would make any of this hurt less. It was so fucking awful. Part of Eddie couldn't believe he was doing this to Steve, leaving him all alone. Every promise he’d ever made to him, broken in an instant. 

It was too heavy, too horrible. Nearly enough for him to wish that he would die faster, just to get away from it. And it seemed his wish was being granted. 

He felt cold, too cold. It wasn’t the pain. He could barely feel it anymore, his body surely going into shock.

This was really it. 

He was going to die here.

from the newest chapter of this fic

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie ficlet #stranger things #the universe trapped in your skin #fic update #does this count as spoilers? #maybe?

[munsonsmixtapes]

Something dark... maybe like Eddie lived but was displaced by the Gov... and like 5 years later you find him.. in a little hole in the wall and maybe a little angst.. maybe a little smut maybe a little longing.. falling back together etc.. idk Something freaky fresh 🤪

Okay, I love this idea! But I’m going to change it a little if you don’t mind!

Eddie x fem!reader

cw: MDNI (18+) unprotected sex (please don’t do this) fingering, angst, grief, whole lot of hurt/comfort

It had been five years since Eddie had passed away down to the day. It was a day that was one of the hardest of the year for you. It felt like it had just happened and the emotional wounds were still fresh, still exposed and you were hurting more than ever.

You had been going to therapy ever since, but the nightmares never stopped even though they were less frequent. You could still feel Steve pulling you away from Eddie while you watched his lifeless body lay there, covered in blood. You felt his hand let go of yours and the life left his eyes. You screamed his name over and over, but he never responded. He was officially dead.

The funeral was rough. The very few people who showed up sobbed the entire time and you all huddled together, vowing that you would be there for each other. And you were. You all had dinner together almost every night and it was pretty much the only thing you looked forward to in your life.

Every single year on the anniversary of Eddie’s death, you went to his favorite bar that was a few towns over and ordered his favorite drink to honor him. It was your own little tradition and everyone knew not to bother you while you spent the day by yourself while you mourned your dead boyfriend who very much should have been alive.

What you didn’t know what that Eddie was very much alive. After he had escaped the Upside Down, he had somehow stumbled upon a hospital that had nursed him back to health. He had no idea what had happened to everyone, so he decided that he wouldn’t call anyone and go into hiding to avoid the police no matter how much he wanted to see if you were okay.

He ended up heading to the town with the bar that he loved, knowing that he was far enough away from home that no one would recognize him. It was a win-win all around. But he missed you. He missed you so fucking much that he could hardly stand it and he felt so guilty for not contacting you and telling you the truth.

So, he dealt with it the only way he how. He drank away his problems. He’d go to the bar every day and order margarita after margarita and throw them back like they were water. Maybe it wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but it was the only way he knew how to deal with the pain.

You sat on your favorite stool and ordered a margarita, holding back your tears as you waited for your drink. You lowered your head so no one could see your face and your drink was set in front of you along with a plate of mozzarella sticks. You looked up at the bartender and he gave you a wink as he pushed the plate towards you.

“On the house. You look like you could use something comforting.” The nice gesture made you tear up even more. You weren’t hungry, but you felt like it would have been rude not to eat them, especially since he wasn’t going to make you pay for them.

“Thanks,” you smiled weakly. You took one of the sticks from the plate and took a bit despite your nausea and ate until the plate was empty. You hadn’t eaten anything that day because your grief had been taking up your thoughts.

“Of course,” he nodded then turned to take care of the customer who was sitting a couple of stools away from you. You turned to look at them and did a double take, absolutely sure that your mind was playing tricks on you. There was no way that your dead boyfriend was sitting right there. It wasn’t possible.

You were sure that you were hallucinating. The guy looked like Eddie but it couldn’t be him. You missed Eddie so much that you were imagining him to make yourself feel better. Maybe if you reached out to touch him, you could confirm that it really wasn’t him. You just wanted to be sure so you could put it out of your mind and put your curiosity to rest.

You tried to get off your stool, but the whole thing ended up toppling to the floor, taking you with it. The loud sound of it hitting the hard wood made everyone turn to you. You weren’t sure why, but your ears were ringing. You couldn’t hear anything but muffled voices as everyone in the bar hovered over you to see if you were okay.

“I’m good, I’m good,” you assured them as you sat up, actually telling the truth this time. Your arm hurt a little, but other than that, you were okay. You didn’t even care anyway, the man making his way towards the front of the crowd being the only thing on your mind.

Once they confirmed you were okay, everyone dispersed and went back to their tables, leaving you and the stranger alone. He was looking at you with wide eyes like he couldn’t believe you were there and your expression matched his. His eyes were watery as he reached up to touch your face, his thumbs wiping away your own tears.

“I knew it was you,” you told him, throwing yourself into his arms and he was quick to catch you, wrapping them around your waist tightly. You sobbed in each other’s arms for what felt like a while then pulled away, your lips attaching to his in a messy kiss. You tasted something salty and realized that it was the tears that you had both cried but that didn’t stop you from breaking apart until you both needed to catch your breath.

He took you by the hand and led you outside and down the block to an apartment building so the two of you could have some privacy. Part of you felt like you were in a very surreal dream but feeling his hand in yours made you realize that he was actually there. Right in front of you.

As happy as you were that he was alive, he had lied to you. For five years you thought he was dead and he had failed to contact you even though you were his fucking girlfriend. He had told you had he loved you in the Upside Down when he was dying in your arms, but apparently it wasn’t a lot since he had kept something like that from you.

He pulled you over to the elevator and pressed the button that would take the two of you up to his apartment. The doors opened not too long after and he pulled you inside, his lips attaching to yours once again. You felt a pit in your stomach and pushed him away, causing him to hit the wall.

“Still like it rough, huh?” He asked, his lips chasing yours, but you kept your hand on his chest, keeping him against the wall. Tears welled up in your eyes again and Eddie’s face softened, the lust completely gone from them. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? You lied to me, Eddie. You’ve been alive this whole time and didn’t even think to contact me?”

“I was trying to protect you. I knew that the police would be after me if I came back to you. I know it was selfish and I’m sorry, so sorry, baby.” That made sense to you, but it didn’t make you feel any better. Did he think that you would tell anyone? Because you wouldn’t have. Not if he didn’t want you to. He had your full trust. Always.

“You still could have called me. I could have hid you just as well.” Eddie knew that and he wanted it so bad, but as time went on, the guilt was too much to bear and he couldn’t stand to see the look on your face when you found out that he was actually alive. The look you were giving him right now.

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry. You have no fucking idea.” His hands cradled your face and you let him wipe your tears away. “You can say anything you want to me right now and I won’t blame you. I’m a fucking dick-”

“You’re not a dick, Eddie. You were just doing what you thought was right. And as mad as I am right now, I’m just so fucking grateful that you’re alive.” You pulled him in for a kiss, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him as close to you as possible. The elevator doors opened and Eddie grabbed onto the backs of your thighs and lifted, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist. His hands held onto them as he carried you to his apartment, only breaking your kiss to fish his keys out of his wallet. Once the door was unlocked, he slammed it closed with his leg then attached his lips to yours once more.

You licked into his mouth as he set you down on the kitchen counter, neither one of you able to make it to his room. Your pants and underwear were off in a flash and Eddie spread your legs open to get a good look at your sopping wet cunt. You were nervous because you hadn’t shaved, but he didn’t seem to give a single fuck about that.

“Glad to know I can still get you so fucking wet,” he chuckled. “You’re soaked.”

“And desperate,” you replied breathlessly. If he didn’t do something right then, you were going to have to take care of it yourself. “Haven’t fucked anyone in five years.”

“Me neither, sweetheart. Gonna need to open you up, huh?”

“Eddie, hurry,” you urged and as soon as the words left your mouth, he shoved his fingers inside your cunt. “Oh,” you moaned, realizing just how much you missed the feeling. Your fingers didn’t do the job nearly as well as Eddie’s.

“Fuck, angel, you’re so tight,” he commented as his fingers pumped in and out of you. “Gonna be good as new when I’m done with you.”

“So good,” you whined, leaning your head back, your eyes closing in pleasure as Eddie fucked his fingers in and out of you.

“Don’t go dumb on me now, angel,” he urged. “Haven’t even gotten inside of you yet.” His fingers moved harder and faster inside of you and you came undone at the feeling, forgetting just how good it felt to have him do that sort of thing to you.

“Need your cock, Eddie.”

“Don’t have any condoms.” That was the least of your worries. You needed him right then.

“I don’t care. I haven’t fucked anyone and neither have you and I’m still on birth control. So let’s do this.”

“Still needy for me, huh? Some things never change.”

“Eddie, hurry up before I care of it myself.” Your eyes bored into his and he got rid of his jeans and boxers, his dick springing free. It was bigger than you remembered and you wondered if it would even fit.

He lined himself up with your cunt and pounded into you, his lips meeting yours in a filthy kiss, his tongue scraping against yours as he continued to pound into you. You moaned into his mouth and the sound was just as delicious as he remembered. His lips moved to your neck as he hips bucked against yours so his mouth wasn’t muffling the sounds falling from your lips.

“Feel so good, baby. Still know how to take me so well,” he whined. “God, you’re so hot.”

Your back arched as he moved faster, his dick hitting just the right spot to make you melt. You were already reaching your orgasm and he had barely even done anything. Your vision went hazy from absolute euphoria he kept going and his moans were doing wonders for your already sopping wet pussy.

“Look so hot taking my cock, baby. Guess I’ve still got it.”

“Eddie, I think I’m gonna-” you finally reached your climax and felt embarrassed that it was so quick, but Eddie was not long after you, his body leaning over yours as he reached his own peak.

“Guess I did too,” he chucked, as he wiped the sweat from your forehead. “Did so well, sweetheart,” he praised as he pressed his lips to yours. “And again, I’m so sorry.”

“We can work through it,” you rubbed your thumb along his cheek. “I know it’s still daylight, but can we please go to bed?”

“Sure we can, sweetheart.” He picked you up and carried you to the bathroom to clean the both of you up and once you were all done, you both got into the bed and got the best sleep of your life because you both were finally reunited. And there was no way that Eddie was going to let you go ever again.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fluff

[fiona-fififi]

Quiet

Rating: G

Fandom: 9-1-1 

Pairing: (pre-relationship) Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz

Summary: Christopher leaves, and everything is endless quiet.

Notes: angst with a hopeful ending, hurt/comfort, 911 spoilers, canon compliant to 7x10, episode coda, Buckley Diaz family, pre-relationship buddie

—

Ao3 Link

—

It's late when his phone rings. The screen displaying Eddie's name and a photo of a smile Buck feels like he barely remembers.

A desperate pain squeezes at his chest, and Buck thinks he might die for the return of that smile, even though he knows he'll never be able to bring it back on his own.

He answers. Stays quiet for long moments. Then, “Eddie?" he murmurs, and it's a careful plea. One full of misguided hope that it might be something good for once. Knows that’s wishful thinking.

Eddie doesn't answer. Long moments pass with nothing but the sound of his breathing to keep Buck company in the cold of his empty bed.

“It's quiet.”

Eddie's voice finally breaks the silence. It's barely a whisper, but it's broken in ways that slice open every old wound Buck had thought was beginning to heal, and suddenly he's flashing back to Christopher’s cries for help and to the ruined walls of Eddie's bedroom and to the way he'd thought, for too many fearful moments, that he'd find a body instead of the broken gaze of his best friend.

“Eddie?” He asks, a careful, quiet thing of his own. All his vulnerability betraying him as he begs for Eddie to be okay, even when he knows better.

“It's quiet like—like the middle of the night, when he's fast asleep. Except—” Buck hears the break in Eddie's voice, the way the pain he'd been trying to hold back had flooded all at once, leaving his voice so choked it's near unrecognizable, “—except he's just not here .”

Buck swallows hard against the emotion that threatens to spill over in his own voice, tosses the blankets off himself and finds his feet in one smooth motion he's not sure how he manages with the shake of his hands. “Eddie, I'm coming over,” he chokes out with the kind of conviction only Buck can manage through the tears that threaten.

“No,” Eddie begs on the other end of the line. And it's a harsh and broken thing—wet with tears but hard with anger Eddie's trying to use to mask it. “I told you, I don't want you here."

Buck has to bite his lip to keep the whimper of pain from dripping out around his own conviction. Holds his breath until it clears and then hangs up the phone without another word. It feels cruel, to cut Eddie off like that, but he won't argue. 

He'll break down the goddamn door again if he has to.

—

The moment he's in the car, he finds himself taking a deep breath, hands gripping too tight to the wheel as he debates his next move.

He knows he should go. Or maybe stay.

But either way, he knows he needs to make a decision and he knows that decision will always be to go to Eddie.

But there's one more thing he needs to try before he can.

He's calling Christopher before he's even processed the thought. It's late, and he shouldn't, but the line is ringing before he can manage to stop himself, and then Christopher's picking up, sounding somewhere between groggy and irritated, and Buck knows he shouldn't have called. Still can't bring himself to regret it.

“Is everyone alive?” Christopher asks first, through a yawn, and he's trying to hide it, but Buck can hear the legitimate worry there, and a pang of guilt hits him as he cringes in response.

“Yeah! Yeah, bud, of course everyone's alive,” he promises, all false cheer and forced smiles he hopes makes his tone sound just a little more convincing.

Christopher sighs, and Buck can hear him shuffling around a bit. Thinks maybe he's sitting up for what he's worried is going to be an argument. “Then why are you calling, Buck?”

And, okay, that tone cuts deeper than anything Buck's heard from Christopher in the past. He finds himself fiddling idly with his car keys, trying to keep his hands busy as he tries to choose his next words carefully.

He's quiet so long, Christopher has to reset him with an irritated “Buck.”

“Right, uh,” Buck begins, squeezing his eyes shut and scrubbing a hand over his face. “Buddy, your dad's not doing well.”

“No."

“Christopher,” Buck pleads, voice betraying all his frustration and pain because he understands, he does—he knows why Chris is angry and why he's not ready to talk. But he also knows how much Eddie is hurting and how little of it had actually been Eddie's fault. And it doesn't change the hurt it caused, but Buck needs Christopher and Eddie to be okay, and right now, he's not sure Eddie's going to be. “Look, I know you don't want to talk to him. And I know it's unfair of me to ask. But Christopher, he needs to at least hear from you. Just. you don't even have to call. Just—just text him. Tell him you love him.”

“Buck—"

“Please, Chris.” 

Christopher's silent for long moments. They stretch through the darkness. So long Buck thinks he's hung up the phone. In the end, though, a tiny voice breaks the silence—one full of a softness Buck hasn't heard in far too long. “Are you with him?”

Buck sucks in a shaky breath. Guilt flooding him at the question. “I'm going to him now.”

Buck thinks he hears Christopher breathe a sigh of relief. “Okay,” he says, sure in a way Buck knows neither of them feel. “Stay with him?”

Buck swallows hard. Fights back the tears. “Until you come home,” he promises.

And he means every word.

It's quiet for long moments again. Buck swears he can hear Christopher thinking. “I do still love him, you know,” Christopher promises. And there's that guilt that just keeps circling between the three of them.

Buck feels a sad smile tilt his lips. “I know you do, Chris. He knows, too. But I think he needs to hear it right now. From you.”

Quiet again. Buck thinks for a moment he's pushed too hard.

“I gotta go,” Christopher says, then. Sad, but sure, and Buck feels like his heart has been crushed. “Bye, Buck.”

“Bye, bud,” Buck chokes out. He thinks Christopher's already gone before he says it.

Tears cling to the corners of his eyes as he wills himself not to let them fall. Doesn't want to put anymore hurt on Eddie when he gets there. Tries to prepare himself for all the pain he knows he'll always take on to support the weight of Eddie's own because he knows he can't add to it now.

So with a heavy heart and a little extra hurt, Buck turns the key in the Jeep's ignition, buckles himself in, and wipes harshly at the tears blurring his eyes. 

Eddie needs him, and he won't wait another moment.

Before he can go, though, his phone dings with a text message, and when he checks it, it's Christopher. 

Tell dad I love him.

When Buck sees it, a harsh breath of relief catches in his throat, and a couple of stray tears manage to sneak out the corners of his eyes as he huffs a laugh devoid of any real humor.

Still, there's relief there. A huge, heavy weight lifting just the slightest as he snaps a screenshot and sends it to Eddie with a message that reads I'll be home in 20. Leave the door unlocked.  

And then he waits.

Stares at the phone in his hand, even when he knows he should already be on his way. But he doesn't have to wait long.

It's only seconds before the word okay comes through, bright as daylight. An invitation and a surrender Buck won't take for granted.

Instead, he swallows the sob that threatens to choke him and points himself in the direction of home.

—

#911 spoilers #buddie fic #my writing #my fic

[streamafterlaughter]

Safe

masterlist | nav

summary: a night out with your friends turns sour, but you’re rescued by an unexpected hero

A/N: i wrote a chapter based on this post for my main fic, but feel a desperate need to write it again putting more detail into it bc i love a fictional man covered in blood idk what to tell you!!! let me know if you want a part II, im feeling a miniverse comin’ on (dw, chapter 23 of FD is in the works, i promise!) reblogs and comments always appreciated!

tags/tw: friends to lovers, mentions of sexual harassment, blood, violence (eddie gets in a fight), swearing, slut shaming, confessions, drunkish!eddie. (lmk if i missed something!) fluff, angst, slight hurt/comfort. reader and eddie are about 22-23, out of high school, happy etc etc. best friend!robin and best friend!steve feature, of course.

—

Your friendship had been simple, at first. You and Eddie had met as kids, before boys had cooties and girls were lame. Eddie had been cornered on the playground, by some giants in the grade above you. They'd shoved him against the chain link fence, their greasy leader demanding he hand over his lunch money. When Eddie blubbered that he didn’t have any, that he hadn’t eaten lunch in weeks, the goons cackled at him, shoving him to the ground while calling him things like “trailer trash.” You couldn’t stand it, even at eleven years old. The poor kid, with hair buzzed closely to his scalp, dressed in all black, carrying around a battered notebook with doodles of dragons on its cover. Your face had warmed with anger, hands balled into fists ready to swing on the group that would outnumber you five to two, or five to one if you were being realistic. This kid clearly wasn’t a fighter.

“Hey!” You had shouted, stomping your worn out converse against the mulch of the playground. “What the hell are you doing, Jared?” You hadn’t been afraid to get in the kid’s face, brows furrowed together as you jabbed your tiny finger into his puffed out chest. “What’s he ever done to you, huh? I don’t think it’s his fault your mother left.” You know now, it wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but it had worked. Jared’s goons had gone silent, anticipating his retort, but all he’d done was cry. What a bitch.

When he’d run, tail tucked between his legs, you’d turned to the cowering boy behind you, offering your hand. “You okay?”

He’d nodded, clearly still shaken up but trying to be brave. “I can take care of myself.” Of course, it had been embarrassing. Not because you were a girl, or younger than him, but you were braver. You didn’t give a shit what people thought of you. Even then, he could tell. You were fucking cool.

”Yeah, sure looked like it. Whatever. I’m Y/n.” You held out your hand to him again, this time to shake, like you were a seasoned lawyer, or something.

“Eddie.” He’d taken your hand, given it a brief shake, but you could tell he was nervous by the way your palm stuck to his.

”Hi, Eddie. You wanna walk to Benny’s with me? Get some burgers?”

He’d shaken his head. “I don’t have money.”

You’d only shrugged. “I got it.” You didn’t think mentioning that Benny was your uncle, or that you and your friends could always eat free, was worth mentioning. From that day on, you and Eddie had been inseparable.

—

The Hideout is loud. You’re wrapped around your best friend’s arm as he leads you through the bar. It’s the only time you’ve seen this place busy, let alone filled with people that don’t qualify for a discount at Denny’s.

The crowd must be the fault of the band. They're full of life on the tiny stage in the back of the bar, somehow convincing patrons to take to the sticky wooden floor to dance.

“You wanna drink, sweets?” You hear him even over the loud music, like a siren call meant only for you.

“Yes, please!” You look up at Eddie, who’s already staring at you. His rich brown eyes sparkle in the dancing stage lights, and you find your tongue in knots at the sight of him.

He nods, sliding his jacket from your shoulders before seating you at a table. “I’ll be right back!” He promises before skipping off to the bar. You keep your eyes trained on him, hypnotized by the way he glided towards the bar, weaving between the mass of gyrating bodies.

You can’t exactly pinpoint when your feelings for him started changing. You assume it had to have been high school. He started growing his hair out, dressing in leather and denim, and listening to a lot of heavy metal. Something about it was attractive to you, watching your best friend become the man he is now, at twenty three years old.

Even with an exterior most find scary, Eddie is still the kindest soul you know. That’s what really pulled you in. He’s always treated you with kindness and care, never once letting you leave his house angry, and knowing just what to say to calm you down. He always makes sure you’re home safe after a night drinking, sometimes even willing to forfeit his own fun to drive you to your place, or crash at his trailer.

Of course, these feelings have stayed stuffed deep, deep down. You can’t bring yourself to ruin what you have with him, risking your closest friendship to maybe be told what you want to hear.

“Hey! You still in there?” Eddie waves his decorated hand a few inches from your face, and you’re dragged back to earth. He places your drink on the table in front of you.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He rests his chin on his knuckles, full attention on you, and you feel your face warm.

“Just happy to be out with you is all.” Not a lie, but not exactly the truth. Safe.

“Alright.” He’s never been one to pry. “You wanna dance?” The song has changed to something slower, and you try not to read into his timing as you nod your head cautiously, taking Eddie’s hand as he leads you to the floor.

Eddie places his hands on either of your hips, and you can’t help but stiffen. “This alright?” He must have felt it too.

“Yes, yeah,” You stumble to reassure him, nervous you’ll scare him off. He’s always been such a gentleman, so careful with you.

You drape your arms around his neck loosely, casually. Safely. Still just two friends, swaying to some angst ridden tune you can’t understand the words to.

—

It’s later when Steve and Robin arrive, already drunk from spending the night at a concert in the city. You’re still not down for the count, and Eddie’s nursing his sixth drink of the night as the music has switched from guitar driven to computer beats coming from a turntable.

“Since when does The Hideout hire DJs?” Robin shouts over the bass driven music, eyes squinting in the bright lights.

“Ever since the place sold to some big wig in Indy, they’ve been doing this shit on weekends!” Eddie informs her as Steve starts talking about how “this is actually a great business tactic.” You decide now is a good time to slip back to the bar for a refill.

Unfortunately, you are one of about fifty people to have that idea, and you groan as you fight to find an open space along the counter. You mumble “excuse me” after “sorry” after “move, please!” until you’ve almost reached the front. As you’re about to order, you feel a hand squeeze your ass.

You whip your head around, and come face to face with a large, muscular man in a tight t-shirt and even tighter jeans.

“Hey, baby,” He winks, the disgusting smirk on his face sending a chill through your body. “You here all by yourself, gorgeous?” Your throat tightens. This is what it’s like, you know that. You shouldn’t be by yourself, that was your mistake. Your throat tightens, impossibly dry, before looking back up at this man. He is seemingly a foot and a half taller than you, likely able to break you in half using only his bicep, and he’s is standing way too close. You can even smell the whiskey on his tongue. “Uh, well,”

“Cmon, let’s go dance, huh?” He interrupts, snatching your wrist with an iron grip, and you squeeze your eyes shut as he leads you towards the dance floor, already formulating an escape route. You’ll say you need to use the bathroom, then you’ll find your friends and leave. Easy enough, right? Unfortunately as you reach the dance floor, the song slows again and you find yourself flush against this beast of a man, his big arms caging you into his chest. You feel the tears start to well in your eyes, blurring your already obscured vision. Your heart drops into your stomach when you realize you are completely, fully, and hopelessly trapped.

—

“Sooo,” Robin turns to Eddie, who’s been staring across into space, daydreaming about you for the last five minutes. “Where’s your girl?”

“What?” He’d heard her, but he wants to hear it again. And again and again.

“Your baby, dingus! You’re one true-“

“Would you shut up?” He interrupts her slurring of teasing, aching jabs, feeling his face heat up with every syllable. “She’s not my- y’know, she’s not mine.”

“Oh, please!” Steve snorts, causing Eddie to whip his head to look at him. “We all know she’s yours, and you’re hers, and all that romantic bullshit, okay? No use trying to squirm out of it. Be grateful you got that much. We all know she loves you.”

He rolls his eyes, but his heart is skipping with each word. He wants to believe them, desperately. He can’t bring himself to have those hopes, though, not about you. He’d only disappoint you, or scare you off when he got too close. It’s better, keeping you at a distance. Safer.

“Is that… No,” Robin looks beyond Eddie, and he turns to follow her gaze. He finds you easily, the only figure he’d recognize in such a loud, multicolored environment. You’re squished against a boulder of a man as you sway to the music, but he can’t see your face. Eddie feels his heart catch in his throat as he turns back to his friends.

“See? I told you she’s not mine.” He clears his throat when he hears his own voice crack. Not fucking now.

“Who is that guy?” Steve asks, craning his neck to get a better view.

“Probably just some club sleaze, she’s probably not even having fun.” Robin shrugs. Her comment clicks in Eddie’s brain before it clicks in her own, though.

“I gotta go.” He shoves himself from the table.

“Should I go with him?”

Robin shrugs. “That dude is gigantic. Maybe watch his back.”

—

“Hey, um,” The song has ended, and you need to get the fuck out of here. “I’ll be right back, I gotta use the ladies’ room,” You peel yourself away from him, but he grabs your arm before you can.

“Nuh uh, you can use the bathroom at my place. C’mon.” There will be no talking yourself out of this. Usually you can confuse a man into leaving you alone, but this guy’s different. You can sense the danger, the complete lack of empathy, like it’s a scent he’s giving off. You have to make a scene.

You twist your arm, writhing to get out of his grip, when you feel the cooling rings of a familiar hand on your shoulder. “Hey, sweetheart,” Eddie’s voice is low, so this man/monster can’t hear him. “I’m gonna get you out of here. Hang on.” He moves in front of you, between you and the giant causing him to drop your arm. There’s an angry red ring of his lasting grip around your wrist. “You gotta problem, buddy?” The guy puffs his chest out at Eddie, like some weird, animalistic instinct to seem bigger. Like he needs that advantage.

“Yeah, I do. Why were your hands on my girl?”

You try not to think about the words too much. Despite the situation though, you feel your heart skip. Steve joins him beside you, placing his hand on your other shoulder protectively.

“Your girl, huh? Well your girl’s a fuckin’ slut then, she’s been dancing with me for the last ten minutes.”

“What the fuck did you just call her, you prick?”

“You heard me bitch boy, she’s a slut! And I like my girls dirty.” Before Eddie can respond, the guy swings his arm into Eddie’s unsuspecting face as you watch, frozen and helpless. Your hands fly to your mouth to muffle the shriek, but you catch the attention of some nearby patrons.

Eddie doesn’t go down, though. The adrenaline keeps him on his feet. “Oh, we’re doin’ this now?” Eddie smirks as he wipes the blood from his split lip. “Cmon, I know you got more in ya than that. You’re massive!” Eddie taunts him before launching at the guy, managing to double him over with a punch to the gut. “You’ll have to do more than that if you want her, big guy. I’ll lay down my fuckin’ life in this bar for that woman.”

The crowd has now turned their attention to where Eddie’s got the brute in a headlock. He gets one more punch in before his opponent breaks out of his grasp, sending his elbow straight into Eddie’s nose. “Oh, ho, ho,” Eddie cackles maniacally as he lifts away from the counter, blood now dripping from his nostrils into his mouth, staining his skin and his shirt. “Look at you, tough guy.” He spits a mouthful of blood onto the bar floor. “Real big of you beatin’ on someone a quarter your size.”

Before anyone else can make a move, the bouncers are rushing up behind them, escorting both men out the front entrance while you follow behind with Steve and Robin. It takes six guys to move the giant, leaving Eddie to comply with the disgruntled manager. You watch as your adversary curses at Eddie before walking into the night, disappearing before anyone could think to call the cops.

“Oh my god, what the fuck?!” Robin is laughing nervously as she looks between you and Eddie, then to Steve with that annoying, know-it-all glint in her eyes.

“Eddie, he could have fuckin’ killed you!” Steve, ever the babysitter, scolds his friend with an elbow to his ribs, causing Eddie to wince in pain.

“Yeah, maybe, but if it meant keeping her safe-,” He cuts himself off as he meets your teary eyes. “Oh, no. Sweets, what’s wrong?”

You shake your head, barely able to look at the bloody boy in front of you. He’s hurt because of you. You were supposed to keep him safe.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie.” You whisper, afraid your voice will betray you for speaking at full volume. “You shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have let you.” The tears are warm on your cheeks when they spill, and as quickly as they do, you have six arms wrapped around you.

—

“Get some rest, we’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You shut the cab door behind you before following Eddie into his trailer. You don’t want to be alone tonight, and Eddie has graciously offered a sleepover at his place.

“How’s your face?” You ask, already on your way to the freezer for an ice pack.

“I’m fine, honey, I promise.” His voice says otherwise, low and scratchy from a night of straining it. “How are you doing, though?”

It’s a loaded question. How are you supposed to feel, watching your best friend risk his life for you? You’re grateful, sure, but the guilt eats at you still. “I’m just so, so sorry Eddie,” You carefully lift your hand to caress his swollen cheek. “You really didn't have to do that.”

“What was I supposed to do? Let him hurt you? I couldn’t live with myself.” He shakes his head, wincing in pain. “I meant what I said. I’d risk my life to keep you safe.”

You shake your head, not accepting his answer. “Why?” It’s meek, barely a whisper as you blot the remaining blood from his lip.

“What do you mean why?” His words are muffled by the tissue.

You huff, getting upset despite yourself. “You’re telling me you’d put yourself in danger if it meant keeping me out of it? What’s the point? Why do that to yourself because I’m too stupid to make the right decisions? What do you gain from that?”

He shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “Do I have to gain something from it? I do it because I love you, y/n. Simple as that.” You gape at him, and he rolls his eyes, the beginning of a smirk twitching on his face. “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“It would be helpful, yes.” You’re just about begging now, the nervous sweat causing your shirt to stick to you.

“Sweets, I accepted that I would die for you a long fuckin’ time ago. If it meant keeping you happy, I would tie myself to the train tracks. Or, in this case, let some fucker twice my size beat the living shit out of me.”

You can’t accept it, logically. Your brain won’t let you believe any of his claims. “But I don’t-“

“No.” His voice is stern, almost scolding. “No more of that ‘I don’t deserve you’ shit. Okay? Absolutely not. Because you do. You saved my life all those years ago, and I promised myself I’d make sure to protect yours, too. You are my best friend, and the absolute love of my life, so I’m gonna give you everything I’ve got.” He laces his fingers with yours, and you watch as his rings catch the light.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel that way about me, I’ll never ask you for that, it wouldn’t be fair. But I can’t stand by when you’re in trouble, it’s not what I do.”

Your heart is fighting to free itself from your ribcage. It wants to jump from your skin, straight into Eddie’s open palms. Though the ever present coward in you wishes to curl up inside yourself and hide from him, everything else in your body is being pulled towards him, compelled as if by nature.

Before you even notice you’re crying again, Eddie wraps himself around your shaking frame, rubbing soothing patterns on your back as you sob, open mouthed and ugly, into his t-shirt. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m right here.” He coos, and you focus on his breathing, matching the pace to calm the stutter of your cries.

You claw at his jacket, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and pine soap. You need him closer. He tightens his grip on you, and you look up to face him. His own cheeks are wet with tears, his eyes screwed shut trying to stifle the bite of the wracking sobs you know the strength of well. This is the only chance you’re getting, so you move with calculation. Despite the anxious pounding of your heart, and everything in your head telling you that he’s not yours and never could be, you crane your neck to reach Eddie’s split and swollen lips, squeezing your eyes shut as you place your mouth on his, ever so gently.

Before Eddie can react, you’re gone, face inches away from him as his eyes flutter open. “Whoa. Uh, w-what… what are you doing?” He sputters, face now bright red, and you feel your own cheeks blush.

“I’m- I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed… ” You cover your mouth with your hand to hide the shame, feeling the fire in your stomach. You have just ruined years of friendship, and for one stupid kiss! But Eddie’s beaming, and he’s still gripping you close to him. “I've just wanted to do that for so long.” You admit shyly, shifting against his grip, ready to retreat, but he holds you tighter.

“Can you do it again?” His voice is more confident now. You’re not sure you’ve heard him correctly, but when you look at him, it’s undeniable.

You mirror his smile, nodding before leaning into him again. He makes the connection, taking the lead as your body contorts around his, lips locking together as he holds you flush against him. His lips are so soft, and he’s so gentle with you, even though you can tell he’s eager, like maybe he’s also wanted to do this for a while. The thought causes you to smile against his lips, and you feel his own lips stretch against yours as your hands move from his shoulders to his hair.

One of his hands moves from your waist to caress your face, holding your jaw like a precious pearl he’s discovered after years at sea. Your tears fall freely now, ones of overwhelming love for Eddie, ones you never could have hoped to shed, content letting them simmer in the pit of your throat if it meant keeping your best friend. You’re breathless when he lets you go, fighting the urge to chase after his lips. After almost a decade of wondering what Eddie would taste like, what kissing him would feel like, now you get to know. “I have been in love with you since that day on the playground,” He confesses, tightening his arms around your waist to keep you close. “But I’m such a chicken shit, I didn’t wanna ruin anything. You were so sweet to me, I couldn’t risk losing that, losing you.” The words seem to spill from him now, like he’s been craving to tell you. You suppose he has.

You take in the sight of your best friend, battered and bruised for the sake of your honor, like a knight thrown into battle without armor. He’s beautiful, even in black and blue. You bring your hand to his cheek, rubbing small circles on his skin as he leans into your touch. You could stay here forever, you think. “I love you too, Eds. I have for as long as I can remember.” He smiles at you, lip splitting again but he doesn’t even flinch. You return the grin, feeling your cheeks ache from how wide you’ve stretched your mouth. “Thank you for keeping me safe.” You kiss him again, letting yourself taste the blood he’d spilled for you, a silent promise that you’ll make sure he never has to again.

-

taglist @children-of-the-grave :p

#friends to lovers #best friends to lovers #eddie x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson #st #st4 #eddie munson fanfic #angst #fluff #stranger things #strangerthingscentral #f!reader

[lovecolibri]

The only thing I'm going to say about this (<- probably lying) is that it doesn't matter how Buck felt in that scene. Because Buck isn't real and doesn't actually have feelings. What DOES matter is how it comes across to the audience. And if the vast majority of the audience had an "what the fuck is this and why is it happening like this?" reaction and that was NOT the intention of the scene? Then it wasn't done well.

You should not have to come out after the episode and explain what the scene was supposed to do. If you have to, then you have failed in your job to get across to the writers, directors, and actors what the point and purpose is. And maybe you have failed to take into account what the characters are like, their trauma histories, and how the audience might react given their knowledge of the characters involved.

A lot of people never forgave tay kay for what she did to Bobby in s2, and then having Buck Begins give us this raw, vulnerable version of Buck and his childhood only to have her lash out a couple of eps later calling him "needy" and a bad friend because he asked something of her instead of just being there to give her whatever she wanted? It's no surprise fans and the general audience never got on board with that relationship. Because it wasn't good to BUCK and that's what the audience wants.

I am personally continually BAFFLED that this show gives these moments of gentle teasing and support and validation of Buck's feelings (even when he can overreact a little out of trauma response) to Eddie, and then continually put Buck in romantic relationships with people that don't even seem to LIKE him, much less adore all his quirks and the things that make him BUCK, and most importantly, the things the AUDIENCE loves about him.

It's.....it's almost like Tim isn't even trying. Because the audience isn't SUPPOSED to like these relationships for Buck. Because they aren't the right ones for him. Because we all know who is.

But also, at some point it starts getting questionable as to why the people that love him don't speak up to express concern about him staying in long term relationships with people that are not nice to him. We all know the bait-and-switch of tay kay in s4 being a FOX network call to shut down what Tim wanted to do, and then he left the show with someone who doesn't like, see, or care about Buddie (or really any of the main characters that aren't Angela to live out some revenge fantasy or Buck to live out...other fantasies). So they couldn't very well have all of the firefam desperately asking Buck if he was even happy as he wasted away in that loft all season, or even allow them to be kinda pissed he would choose to be with someone like that who nearly got Bobby killed by not telling someone immediately and interviewing him without consent, but it never sat right with me that it was all just never addressed and they had them breakup on good terms (sorry not sorry but if you think T*mmy isn't nice to Buck, tay kay was worse in every way and thats canon fact).

So I don't have super high hopes that they will address this clear and obvious disconnect with Buck and T*mmy, but considering they made a point to have nearly all their screentime revolve around Eddie, and them not meshing as a couple it would be weird NOT to. Then again, *gestures to all that rambling above*

ANYWAY

The point it, at SOME point the audience does have to be a consideration because without an audience you do not have a show. So Tim needs to shake off the last of the Lone Star cobwebs, get KR the fuck out of the writers room, and make sure his intentions for scenes are ACTUALLY what make it onto the screen, and that what is on screen is stuff that will resonate positively with the audience. Maybe he should rewatch the first 3 seasons of the show himself to get back into the groove.

#911 #evan buckley #anti bucktommy #anti taylor kelly #i have not had my coffee yet ignore me #i just had to get it out so my brain would shut up about it

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Gotcha for Gaza Prompt: i told my future by reading your lips

Happy to say I have completed and posted my first fic for @911actions - as submitted by @sortofanobsession!

This used to be called "All In Good Time" but I decided to go with a lyric from the song rather than the song title itself.

Hope everyone enjoys, and there's still lots of time left to submit those prompts!

Summary:

In 2018, on their way to a call at a child beauty pageant, and feeling a little strange, Buck and Eddie are suddenly thrown into a fast-paced look at some key moments from their future. And, what they see? Well it can only lead to one logical conclusion.

Snippet:

Eddie and Buck stand open-mouthed in the rain, necks craned up at an awkward angle, watching Other Eddie’s futile attempt to lift Other Buck by the rope alone.

“There’s no point,” Buck whispers. 

“Hey, no,” Eddie says. 

“He’s… I’m… Dead.” Buck struggles.

“It’s not real,” Eddie says. “It’s not real. I’ll… He’ll save him.”

“CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Other Eddie shouts. 

It makes Eddie want to cry. 

He sounds so broken. 

Eddie cares about Buck, for sure. They’re friends, maybe they’ll become really good friends, based on the way Buck has turned up for Eddie and Chris lately. But the way Other Eddie is screaming for Other Buck right now? It’s bone-chilling. Like...

“BUCK!”

Like Buck is one of the most precious things in this iteration of Eddie’s world, and the thought of losing him is simply unacceptable. 

---

Tagging:

@epicbuddieficrecs @theotherbuckley @sevenweeksofunrepression @slowlyfoggydestiny @buckleybabyblues

@diazsdimples @exhuastedpigeon @aquamarineglitter @loserdiaz @steadfastsaturnsrings

@your-catfish-friend @incorrect9-1-1 @hawaiianlove808 @babytrapperdiaz @watchyourbuck

@lyricfulloflight @tizniz @aroeddiediaz @estheticpotaeto

@buddieswhvre @l0v3t0hat3y0u @mage8

#daisies and briars writes #gotcha for gaza #911actions #911 gotcha for gaza #buddie fanfic

[firewasabeast]

You Provide Strength

(Part 2 of my wedding series, part one here)

Summary:

After finding out his parents won't be attending his wedding, Buck asks Bobby and Athena for a big favor.

Note: Read here or on ao3. There will probably be more parts, but each part can be read as a oneshot.

It's six days to the wedding and Buck is in hour nine of a twelve hour shift. Both he and Tommy wanted to work right up until the day before the wedding, saving up to enjoy a nice honeymoon. Bobby had insisted on half-shifts for Buck, which he had tried to protest, but after last night he was eternally grateful. He wasn't sure he could handle a full shift of emergencies after the phone call last night.

“Why are you being so somber?” Chim asked, looking directly at Buck. They were all sitting around the TV, a commercial playing quietly in the background. They hadn't really been watching anything. Everyone, except Buck, had been chatting away, discussing their weekend and the plans they had leading up to the wedding.

And Buck knew what Chimney was really asking. Why are you so quiet? But they didn't use that word- in any context.

He hadn't told anyone the news. They were all already on shift when he heard from his parents, and it wasn't really something he wanted to announce in the first place.

His head had been hurting all day. He had stayed up late, talking to Tommy about all the times his parents failed to show up for him. It was stories Tommy already knew, but he listened anyway. He listened, and responded, and asked questions.

He had apologized for the pity party, but Tommy had reassured him that talking about legitimate trauma that had impacted his life was not a pity party.

They hadn't fallen asleep until half past one, then Buck was up by five to make his six o'clock shift. Tommy didn't have to be at work until an hour later, but he got up with Buck anyway and made him a breakfast burrito to go, making Buck promise that he'd actually eat it.

Ever since then, Tommy had been sending regular texts, and even called a couple of times just to check in.

“I'm not being somber,” Buck replied, slumping further into his chair.

“You're being very somber. It's weird.”

“Chim's right, Buck,” Hen agreed. “You haven't shut up about the wedding this year, but now- silence. Got pre-wedding jitters?”

Buck sighed. “No,” he replied, staring at TV. “Marrying Tommy is the one thing I'm sure about.”

“Then what's up?” Chim asked. “Worried Jee won't throw the flowers right? We've been working all month,” he smiled, “she's a natural.”

“I'm not worried about that.” God, he wished they'd shut up. He knew they meant well, he was simply in no mood to deal with questions.

“Did someone steal your clipboard again?” Chimney continued lightheartedly. “I swear it wasn't me this time.”

“Don't look at me!” Hen countered. “I learned my lesson.”

“Guys,” Eddie started, having been quiet up until now. “Why don't we chill for a second? Give the almost-newlywed some breathing room.”

Eddie always knew when Buck wanted to talk, and when he really, really didn't. For that, Buck was endlessly grateful.

“Well, I'm sorry,” Chimney replied, his tone showing he was still oblivious to the gravity of the situation. “I'd like to know what made our Buckaroo go from nonstop chatterbox to the qu- silentest,” he quickly fixed, “boy in the world.”

“I really don't wanna talk about it,” Buck said, shooting up from his seat. He could feel his face getting red. He didn't want to get angry with them, he knew they meant no harm, but he couldn't handle the talking anymore. “Please, leave me alone.”

He didn't wait around to see their faces after his little outburst. He quickly walked off and began making his way to Bobby's office.

Hen and Chimney's eyes fell to Eddie, who gave a nod before getting up and following behind Buck.

“Hey, Buck, wait a sec.”

Buck stopped, and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before turning around. “Eddie, I-”

“I know; you don't wanna talk about it,” Eddie replied, holding his hands up in surrender. “I just wanna make sure you're okay. I do feel it's my duty as your best man,” he added with a smile, concern still showing in his eyes.

Buck felt bad. He knew he could just tell them. They'd understand. They'd be pissed, but they'd understand. But something was stopping him. Almost a feeling of embarrassment. Embarrassed that his own parents wouldn't be at his wedding because, of all things, a previously planned cruise.

“I just- I need to talk to Bobby about something first. I promise i-it's not anything bad. Wedding plans are fine, Tommy's fine, we're... we're great, actually. I'm just stressing about stuff.”

Eddie nodded, letting that answer be sufficient. For now, at least.

“Okay.” He gave Buck a pat on the shoulder. “I'm here when you're ready.”

“I know,” Buck replied. “Thanks for that.”

----------------

Buck paused before walking into Bobby's office. He needed to settle himself. He felt on edge already, and he needed to make sure he didn't burst into tears the second he walked into the office.

Hesitantly, he knocked, entering once he heard Bobby's, “Come in.”

“Am I bothering you, Cap?” he asked.

“Not at all, Buck. What's up?”

“I was just, um, I was actually wondering if I could talk to you, and Athena, tonight, uh, if that's okay?”

“Sure,” Bobby replied, giving Buck a quizzical look. “Are you okay?”

Buck sighed. “Um, I think I- well, that's kind of a loaded question,” he let out a humorless laugh, “but I will be, I think.”

“You wanna come have a seat, Buck?” Bobby motioned to the empty chair across from him.

“No, I, uh, as long as tonight's okay, I'm good. I won't take too much time-”

“Don't worry about that,” Bobby interrupted. “We're having lamb stew tonight, there will be plenty for ya, so come on over. Seven-thirty good?”

“That's perfect. Thanks, Cap.”

“Of course, Kid.”

--------------

After going home to shower and change, Buck arrived at Bobby and Athena's place.

They exchanged hellos, then Buck headed into the living room to sit.

“Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes,” Athena said. “Can I fix you something to drink while we wait.”

“Oh, no thanks, Athena. I'm good. I need to talk to you about something,” he started, looking from Athena to Bobby.

“I can leave you two to it.”

“A- Actually, I need to speak to you both.”

Buck wanted to get this over with now. He was tired of the anxiety that kept building up inside of him. If he didn't say something now, he wouldn't be able to eat.

“Okay,” Athena said with a nod, taking a seat on the couch. Bobby sat beside her, while Buck sat across from them in a chair.

“Are you sure everything's okay, Buck?” Bobby asked. “You haven't been yourself today.”

“No, I- I know I haven't. Yesterday was actually pretty stressful and I haven't- I wasn't ready to really get into it with everyone at the station.”

“Planning a wedding can be stressful,” Athena said, figuring that was the cause for concern. “That's why I highly recommend going to the courthouse.” She and Bobby exchanged smily glances at one another.

Buck nervously rubbed his hands together. “That was an option at one point,” he replied. “But everything with the wedding is mostly ready. Actually, once I talk to you two tonight, it will be completely ready.”

“Alright,” Bobby said. He could tell this was serious. “You've got our attention, Buck. What do you need?”

“Well, you know how, um, Tommy's mom is gonna walk him down the aisle?”

They both nodded in response.

“And my parents were walking me. And we know that's not traditional, but what even r- really is traditional, you know? We wanted them to be a part of it because they're a part of us and like it or not they made us who we are.” He was rambling. He knew he was rambling. He knew they knew he was rambling. But he couldn't seem to stop himself. “I mean, I know it means a lot to Tommy to have h- his mom walk with him and I-”

“Buck, Buck,” Bobby interrupted, raising a hand to stop him. “What's up?”

Buck took a deep breath. “My parents aren't coming to the wedding and I'd like you two to walk with me,” he let out quickly.

“W- Wait a minute,” Athena started, scooting closer to the edge of the couch. “Your parents aren't coming to the wedding?”

Buck could feel the embarrassment on his face. “Uh, no. They're not.”

“Why not?” She asked pointedly.

God, he felt so small. “They have a cruise.” His voice was quiet, defeated.

Athena raised an eyebrow. If Buck had the courage to maintain eye contact, he would have been able to see the fire in her eyes. “They have a cruise?”

“Yeah, they have a cruise.”

“They have a cruise. Bobby, did you hear this? They have a cruise!” Her voice was rising now, concern being overtaken by anger.

“Yes, yes, I heard, Athena.” Bobby placed a hand on Athena's back to try and calm her, or at least keep her seated. “Buck, I don't know what to say.”

“It's okay,” Buck assured them, however weak the assurance was. “Really. I- I found out last night and it was a shock, for sure, but I need to not dwell on that.”

“Surely they gave some sort of legitimate reasoning beyond the cruise?” Athena continued.

“Honey, did you hear what Buck asked us?” Bobby asked, trying to get back on topic. He knew Athena. How fierce she could be when someone she loves is wronged. But that wasn't what Buck needed right now.

Athena paused for a moment before relaxing her posture. “Yes, yes of course, Buck, I'm so sorry.”

“It's alright,” Buck replied, letting out a laugh. He didn't say it, but he always wished he had a mom like Athena. Someone to straighten him out when he was wrong, but fight for him all the same.

“Are you sure you want us to walk with you, Buck?” Bobby asked.

Buck nodded. “I'm sure. It was actually Tommy who brought you guys up, and I- I really couldn't think of two better people to walk with me... my actual parents included.”

Bobby and Athena glanced at each other, giving a little nod before Bobby responded. “We'd be honored, Buck.”

Buck let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, allowing himself to smile as a wave of relief washed over him. “Thank you guys, so much.”

Athena got up, holding out her arms for a hug. Buck stood, allowing himself to be held, tears prickling at his eyes. A beeping sound from the kitchen pulled Athena away.

“I'll go check the bread,” she said, trying to hide it as she wiped a hand across her own cheek.

Bobby knew she was still livid. She'd probably be talking about this for most of the night. But he also knew she loved Buck, and would let her anger subside until he was gone.

“We can probably head into the dining room now,” Bobby said, getting up as well.

Buck went to head that way, but Bobby stopped before they reached the room. “Hey, Kid,” he said, Buck turning to face him.

“Yeah?”

“Is there anything else you need? Anything at all?” There was so much more behind those words. You want me to call your parents? You want the rest of the week off? You want to sleep in the spare room so you're not alone tonight? You want us to rearrange the wedding?

Buck smiled, shaking his head as the tears stung his eyes again. “Just show up. J- Just be there.”

Bobby pulled Buck into a tight hug. “That we can do.”

#911 #evan buckley #tommy kinard #buck x bobby #buck x tommy #bucktommy #tevan #buck and tommy #bobby nash #athena grant

[outrunningthedark]

And yet people are convinced about what the insider says about him being written as gay since the beginning. I don’t even like Ryan that much, but at this point I’m actually sorry for him since people keep ignoring what he’s been trying to say

TL;DR ahead This is where Tim's role in...everything comes into play, and I'm BEYOND tired of watching people speak about Buddie as if Tim isn't playing both sides - "shipper" and show runner. Tim considered Queer Eddie before Bi Buck this year. Fact. That means Tim was able to look at the way Eddie had been written over the course of five seasons (2->6) and could make sense of Eddie actually, legitimately being repressed. (And just remember that he interacts with fandom, he reads reactions and theories, so even if it wasn't INTENTIONAL from day one, he obviously learned to see what the audience sees, much like Oliver.) But here's the thing. Going by everything Ryan has said this year? Especially the most recent comments about the audience needing to get comfortable with bi men and straight men being close without assuming attraction, and wanting to show that men being vulnerable doesn't make them gay? You can't tell me Tim actually went to Ryan before brainstorming about how he could make Queer Eddie happen. Ryan is willing to consider playing Eddie as queer if he believes it makes sense for the character (I've never said he would never do it, so read that until you get it), but for the previous five seasons? And this season? He's been doing exactly what he wanted to do the whole time, we just didn't have the words for it until now, until he told us. Tim headcanoning Eddie as queer and/or being able to review earlier scenes and say "Oh, I can see how fans got this from that" makes for an entertaining fandom experience, sure (when the show runner sees what we see? that's the ultimate 'validation') but it doesn't change anything about what we're watching on screen when THE GUY PLAYING THE CHARACTER isn't putting himself in that headspace ON PURPOSE. HE DOESN'T THINK SEXUALITY SHOULD BE THE POINT. What I hate most is anybody taking the reaction to his comments personally because of those few people that will, as usual, call him homophobic.

But these comments don't need to be defended or even reworded to sound "better". If people actually care about Ryan the way they claim, they should be able to accept what he has to say without bringing negativity into it. They should be able to appreciate what he brings to the screen without wishing he would do more. But those people forgot Ryan was a real person with real feelings a long time ago. His 'true' purpose? Fit the mold of who they think Eddie Diaz should be. (For their own satisfaction. Not his.)

#anonymous #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #ryan guzman #eddie diaz

[mazzystar24]

exactly! i wanted to like tommy tbh i liked him in 703 and 704. 705 was meh to me. i couldnt really find it in myself to care because the entire episode was about buck freaking out about telling eddie. 706 just made me ???? because of the bachelor party scenes. like why are we having the new bf dismiss buck at every turn while eddie is all in if they want us to root for this man. he wouldve had to change at work anyway so why didnt he dress up. then again in 709 he’s just shooting down bucks joy with the “enjoy it while it lasts” thing and then we already discussed 710. like sure buck made it a bit jokey but then tommy sounded completely serious when he said “no i dont. i hope you do though!” im someone who’s very sarcastic in her own humor and i couldnt tell he was joking. like i get that they want tommy to be snarky or whatever but something about it just falls flat for me. some of the comments he makes feel like stuff he shouldn’t feel comfortable saying yet to someone he’s only started seeing in the past couple months.

also the evan thing confuses me because lou said on cameo the script supervisor told him he isnt allowed to call buck ‘buck’. i wonder if thatll ever be addressed in s8 because that feels weird to me. especially since buck has insisted people call him buck in the past but idk if thats even anything to actually think about. like im not sure if the writers just dont know what to do with this man or if they’re actually writing him to be a short term thing. its so easy to add depth to their relationship and open up a chance to be vulnerable but they either choose not to entirely or give those moments to eddie -birthmark anon

NO SAME LIKE I AM DOWN FOR RIVAL LOVE INTERESTS TO MY SHIPS IF THEYRE WRITTEN WELL

I WAS MID TYPING I HOPE YOU DONT SEE THIS YET

Like I made a whole post about how the show bones had Hannah and she was the best and the way they wrote her made her GENUINELY likeable

And 911 couldve pulled that off so easily with Tommy but just keep choosing not to??? Like they are making (imo) very intentional writing choices that just don’t develop him or bucktommy very well when they could literally just NOT make those choices like they’re fully in control so while these things are realistic and can have good explanations the writers are intentionally choosing to include them and write them a specific way

Like idk about you but if I wanted people to aim for my couple I would go about it VERY differently

#911 #evan buckley #buddie #911 abc #911 fox #eddie diaz #911onfox #evan buck buckley #anti bucktommy #anti tommy kinard #911 discourse #fandom discourse #asks open #send asks #my asks #send me asks #answered asks #asks

[graendoll]

I finally watched the finale of 911 season 7 and my thoughts are below the break.

I have a lot of feelings about what they did and some of them are pretty "oof". Anyway, I realize I swept into Buddie fandom like two months ago and fell deeply in love with Buck and Eddie but after everything that is happening in fandom and in the show, I may slip back out as quickly as I came in because I'm not sure I can deal with the ship wars between now and season 8.

So yeah, if you want to hear what I think about where everything ended up, keep reading. Also...still a Buddie shipper in case it needs to be said 😅

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT PROCEED W/CAUTION

First, Eddie's story has me absolutely heartbroken even if I suspected a lot of it. Chris calling his grandparents, him leaving even if temporary. I knew it was coming and it still hit me really hard. I know Gavin was considering pulling back so I get it. And Chris will obviously still be a part of Eddie's narrative but ouch that hurt.

Next, the scene between Buck and Tommy was just icky to me. Daddy kink is one of those things I filter out of fic because it's a major fucking squick so the fact that Tim Minear put that on my screen against my will nearly had me throwing hands. Any positive I was trying to find in their date interaction was quickly vomited out all over my coffee table.

I'm not optimistic about Tommy leaving quickly in season 8 for any reason. The date was very much a get to know you situation and while I thought Tommy was being a bit harsh about Bobby, I can guarantee the BT's are probably drooling over the implications of that scene.

(This is one of the things seriously impacting my desire not to watch this show anymore.)

On to Hen and Mara - I am very glad we have a mostly resolved situation with Mara going in to season 8. Honestly this whole story line felt unnecessary and written for the sake of drama. The show is feeling very soapy and while I was giving it the benefit of the doubt because of how much the writers were trying to do in 10 episodes, they better knock that shit off. It's a far cry from the writing of episodes like Buck Begins. (The second reason I may not watch anymore.)

Also, every once in a while Athena does something that makes me absolutely despise her character and this episode was one of those situations. Her jumping to conclusions and threatening Amil was just, rushed, overly dramatic and felt unnecessary

If you needed to get her to Amils house for the cartel arrival, maybe have her go without homicidal tendencies?

Honestly the only storyline that got any room to breath in this episode was Eddie's.

Which brings me to my final thoughts, specific to Buddie and the future of that ship in canon.

First, that will is never going to come up again. It belongs to us now. The writers have elected to ignore it for three seasons and it's never going to come up again, unless Eddie actually dies.

Second, the continuation of BT and the loss of Christopher is like a fucking death knell for Buddie in canon imo. I hate it, but without Chris, they are no longer a little family. Whatever magic was happening with Buddie up to the shooting scene has not been recaptured, and I'm not sure it's ever going to be at this rate, especially I'd the writers don't fix their soapy garbage.

Am I old and cynical? Yes. Does that make me wrong? Maybe...but right now what we have is Buck happily engaged in a weird Daddy kink relationship, Chris, one of the main points of connection between Eddie and Buck, out of the picture, and Eddie probably finding God and repenting for his sins.

Okay I made that last part up but it's a real fear!

In either case, I feel like we were horribly ship bated all season, and it was done only to create buzz for the show on a new network with a new queer character.

I miss when fandom didn't have access to creators and didn't feel like a place you could win because the BTs are going to be A NIGHTMARE for the rest of the hiatus and frankly I don't want to deal with toxic ship wars while we all wait for season 8.

So yeah, happy season 7 finale? 🤣

#eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 season 7 #911 season finale #anti bucktommy #911 #911 show #911 abc #athena grant #hen wilson #christopher diaz #buddie

[buddierecs]

hurt/comfort buddie fics

all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

when it's you i'm with (everything goes quiet) by: withoutthetiger "eddie can't speak after he and christopher are in an accident, but somehow he asks buck to stay while he recovers. buck can't imagine wanting to be anywhere else, and even in the silence that lingers between them, they both find a way to say everything." word count: 56k important tags: different first meetings au, muteness, intimacy, feeling realisation, friends to lovers, phone sex, blow jobs, rimming, anal sex take my hand and don't you ever let go by: sourwolfseblaine "buck takes care of eddie when he starts acting differently after a close call." word count: 4.2k important tags: emotional hurt/comfort, soft!buddie, gentle sex, comfort sex, anal sex, top!evan buckley, bottom!eddie diaz, blow jobs

crossed wires, words and.... wets by: znks "sometimes, after a short pitstop through some yearning, your bff accidentally kissing you can lead to wonderful things" word count: 7.4k important tags: miscommuication, accidental kissing, getting together, shower sex, thigh fucking, comeplay, marking eddie diaz vs the feelings by: elvensorceress "eddie dives into the mysteries of attraction, romantic love, and asexuality because there's a good chance he's fallen in love with his best friend. aka demisexual!eddie figures out he’s demi and finds the happily ever after he’s been longing for" word count: 62k important tags: demisexual!eddie diaz, getting together, sexuality crisis, slow burn, sexual tension, anal sex, hand jobs to feel the need of your touch by: honestlydarkprincess "the one where buck is touchstarved and desperate for eddie. they fuck but it's also really sweet." word count: 7.5k important tags: pining!evan buckley, light dom/sub, oral sex, anal sex, barebacking, evan buckley has a praise kink, dom!eddie diaz, sub!evan buckley, porn with feelings it's the softness that breaks you by: bigfootsmom "the one where buck has more issues with intimacy than he had originally thought." word count: 6.1k important tags: dom!eddie diaz, sub!evan buckley, safe word use, established relationship, evan buckley has a praise kink five times eddie diaz used grindr (and one time he didn't) by: daniwib "eddie diaz likes men. he thinks. this is the story of how he explores his sexuality." word count: 72k important tags: gay!eddie diaz, first time, anal sex, friends with benefits, blow jobs, there was only one bed, porn with plot, pining

remember to remember me by: daffi_990_ao3 "buck and eddie finally get together only for lightning to strike a few days later, leaving buck with no memories of them ever becoming a couple." word count: 31k important tags: temporary amnesia, sad!eddie diaz, getting together, buckley-diaz family feels, frottage, blow jobs, riding, bottom!eddie diaz, top!evan buckley

#911 abc #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fandom #911 show #buck x eddie fic #evan buck buckely #ao3 #ao3feed #ao3 link #buddie smut #buddie fic #buddie recommendations #buddie fics #buck x eddie smut #hurt/comfort fics #hurt/comfort

[lostnova-blog]

hello hello *drops snippet of a fic i wrote 2 years ago and runs* (i'm posting more of these soon bc i'm having a writerblock or whatever and have been stuck for MONTHS on a chapter😂🔫)

Steve closed his eyes.

He didn't want to die.

He’d survived, what? Five years. Five years of those monsters and alternate dimensions. He could survive another year. He had to.

So he tried to remember.

He remembered, three years ago, sneaking into the Wheeler’s house. He was going to see Nance. Mike Wheeler saw him. He wasn't meant to be outside because there could be a killer or kidnapper on the loose, yet there he was, about to look for his best friend. Steve and Wheeler weren't close at the time; Steve was actually pretty sure Wheeler hated him, and Steve didn't have a liking for Wheeler. Yet, Wheeler ignored him and left. So Steve kept climbing. He knocked on Nance’s window. He remembered Nance not being exactly happy about seeing him there, but he wanted to help Nance study. He also wanted to have sex.

He focused on another memory for the best. He found it interesting he could remember the time he was drugged by Russian doctors with Robin. He remembered being dragged to the movies by Henderson. Back to the Future was on. He’d been wanting to watch that movie for a while, and so had Robin. They didn't have any tickets, so they had to pick some seats that just so happened to be empty, and those seats were the worst. Robin kept complaining about it and the guy behind them kept shushing her.

He remembered the day Henderson visited him at Scoops Ahoy after returning from camp. Steve thought it was quite ridiculous that his best friend was a kid he bonded with trying to save Hawkins. Regardless, he loved that kid. He remembered Henderson being happy that he got the job, and them doing their handshake. Robin did not look impressed by how many kids her coworker was friends with.

And he remembered Eddie. Eddie the Freak. Eddie who had been accused of murder and Steve found himself forced to help. They never really talked in school. Not upfront. And even though Eddie was just how Steve remembered him, except his hair was longer, Steve was the one who truly changed. In the Upside Down, there had been one particular moment; after he’d nearly been eaten by bats, Steve wanted to thank Eddie for saving him, but Eddie insisted Steve had saved his own ass. He said that what Steve had done was very metal, he even mentioned someone called Ozzy Osbourne. Steve had no idea who he was, but later he had bought one of his tapes. It wasn't really his type of music, but he listened to him anyway for some reason he couldn't really explain. Eddie also told him that Henderson talked about how Steve was a badass. Eddie confessed that he was jealous, that he didn't understand how a guy like Steve could actually be a “good dude” while he was a coward. He started talking about how he always ran. How he was no hero. Steve was grateful for that because running away had saved Eddie’s life. So Steve told Eddie not to be so hard on himself. Eddie brushed off whatever Steve had said and confessed the only reason he was there was because Nance and Robin had jumped after him with no hesitation, and he didn't want to be the one who stayed behind. Eddie started talking about how Nance had wasted no time jumping after Steve, and that, in his cynical point of view, that was an act of true love. But Steve didn't care about that. Yes, he cared about Nance, obviously, but he didn't think what she had done was about love. I mean, Robin had jumped in, too. Besides, Nance had Jonathan. What Steve was paying attention to was Eddie’s lips. Eddie’s dry, chipped lips. He suddenly had an urge to kiss him. To just kiss him and get him to shut up about Nance. But he pushed those thoughts away. He shouldn't be thinking those things. He couldn't.

But right now, Eddie was playing his shitty acoustic guitar to save him. Eddie was playing for him. So who cared about what Steve should and shouldn't be thinking.

Read the full thing:

#steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #dustin henderson #robin buckley #jonathan byers #steddie #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #steddie fanfic #vecna #stranger things #stranger things s5 #gay #mlm #bisexual #bisexual steve harrington #this is so sappy i'm sorry #i just want to self-promo x #i think that's it #stranger things fic #steve harrington fic #steddie fic