#I HAVE TO FIND MY FAMILY

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[qrevo]

hey since it's pride month can i show you all my gay beach chair

#qrevo.txt #it's not the exact color scheme but it's preeetty close #when my family bought this chair i looked at it and Immediatly thought ''i know what you are 👁️👁️🏳️‍🌈'' #also i vaguely remember someone from my family having a beach chair with the pan flag colors; i'll try to find it one of these days

[plesiosaurys]

getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."

#[OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: he should NOT have touched the fish. do NOT touch random fish you find while scuba diving #especially if the fish is 6ft long & has sharp teeth #ESPECIALLY if the fish is a critically endangered species #being overwhelmed by the majesty of the coelcanth is understandable but that does not excuse his behavior] #[obligatory disclaimer 2: i know nothing about this guy; by 'amateur' i just mean he wasnt part of a scientific expedition at the time] #[obligatory disclaimer 3: i mean it wasnt CALM. its first dorsal fin was erect which we have reason to believe means it is on edge. #but it didnt flee like you would expect of a wild animal] #...disclaimers over. now im going to wail about how life began in the sea and we left & they stayed #& we thought they were gone & now we're finding our way back home to them #they are so beautiful and they are our family and they love us ok. they do i know it in my heart #coelacanth #Latimeria chalumnae #animals #andy original #ALSO I KNOW THEY HAVE 8 FINS by four paired limbs i mean the pelvic and pectoral the others arent paired they dont move like legs do

[lygma-nygma]

Being a batfam fan is funny because people will make a post like “here’s my headcanon-“ and it’s just something that’s directly canon to the story then post about major canon events and get everything wrong.

#this post was inspired by me remembering the experience of reading death in the family #after only knowing the fanbase version and realizing oh none of that shit happened okay #like girl you don’t understand it’s so bad #Jason wasn’t even fired as Robin #He’s not accused of murdering anyone by Bruce #He’s not trying to prove himself at all he’s just looking for his mom #The reason Bruce didn’t go after him right away is because he was tracking down a goddamn nuke the Joker stole #Then after he finds it and handles the problem he helps Jason track down moms 2 and 3 #Also Jason died in like 20 minutes?? even less?? #He died in less time than it took his mother to smoke a cigarette #Bruce literally went ‘wait here I’ll be right back’ and was gone for less time than a trip to the grocery store #and then you go into the Jason Todd tag and they act like Bruce pulled the damn trigger on him #Like besties I don’t know how to tell you this he basically did everything right he possibly could have #Even him benching Jason from Robin temporarily happens so that he can get Jason into therapy about his trauma #Like the whole point is that neither of them did anything wrong bad shit just sometimes happens #That’s the tragedy. The drama. #Bruce couldn’t have made better choices in the position he was in and Jason was never going to make different ones #It was inevitable #Anyway rant over please read death in the family before I lose my mind #batfam #batman #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #damian wayne #bruce wayne

[peachiiwren]

doodles!!

#spy x family #damian desmond #anya forger #damianya #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #my art #sxf fanart #i wanted to work more on these but i have exams!! sorry abt the quality :") #inspired by pictures on pinterest i cant find anymore

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo standing up for his brothers in the things that really matter to them.

Like- Leo is the one who immediately pushes Mikey and Donnie into finding Raph the second it’s clear that their oldest brother is missing because he knows Raph can’t handle being separated like that.

Leo is the one who stands up for Mikey when Mikey wants to go on a solo mission, actively vouching for him and being the one to convince Raph into letting Mikey go, because being independent and proving himself just as capable of standing on his own two feet as everyone else means so much to Mikey.

And Leo defends Donnie’s honor in particular when his brothers’ intelligence is insulted because Leo is well aware of how important Donnie’s smarts are to him - and how important having those smarts valued and acknowledged is as well.

All this goes right into just how well Leo knows his brothers. For as much as he’ll tease or fight with them, he knows them, and he loves them.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #listen Leo loves his family SO MUCH #and like it’s no accident that Leo is consistently the one to give pep talks that #very notably #are less ‘everyone as a group’ and more ‘all of you individually’ #it’s heartening to see honestly and like #it works with how he is as both a person and as a fighter #he knows people he knows them so well he knows how they work what they’re like #which is SO USEFUL for subterfuge AND portal/teleportation strategy #my guy is charming his charisma comes from his understanding of people at an individual level #when he wants to be he is very very good at that #he’s still a teen who is too cocky for his own good at times but that does not negate his stellar other moments #he can be selfish he can be mean he can be rude but when push comes to shove he is so quick to stand up for his family #Mikey’s statement at the end of the movie about how Leo NEVER gave up on THEM is so important because it’s not JUST about the movie!! #that’s Leo as a whole he will never give up on his bros #portal jacked is telling of this too because although it has a lot of comedic moments #never once does Leo stop looking for a way to get his bros back #they’re everything to him #he’s the face man he’s a people person and he’s the number 1 pet turtle which I will discuss the implications of in this essay- #Will also say that when Leo does these moments of standing up for his bros he’s never expecting praise for it #he’s just glad they find Raph he just smiles when Mikey tells him he loves him he never mentions defending Donnie #leo has a tendency to show off fancy glittery moves but his real actions and feelings are sooo much more lowkey #that you have to be actively looking for them to catch them all #and I really really like that about him it’s so interesting HE is so interesting

[heyhollow]

Zombie boy swagger

Click for ⭐️Quality⭐️

Middle school me would be screaming

He can do both

#art #digital art #my art #fanart #my artwork #fnaf #fnaf pizzeria simulator #fnaf pizza sim #micheal afton #fnaf michael afton #fnaf michael schmidt #fnaf micheal #five nights at freddy's #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddys #fnaf art #michael afton #afton family #fnaf sister location #sister location #Middle school me would have traced my art from now #glamrock freddy #Do you see him? #Bro doesn't even know he's about to get forced to adopt a kid #Father when I find you #Father when I find you father #FATHER WHEN I FIND YO-

[noyaspjs]

Loid Forger taking a moment

#sorry for the long post these drawings were meant to be a tiktok video so i had to crop em dgjsbfkdn #anyway yk how in the new opening you dont see Loid as much? yeah that's bc its all from his POV... 😭 #and the lyrics reflect that too #its about wanting to put a bow on the memories you have to treasure them bc they're so special to you #i cried irl tears finding out #anyway #my art #spy x family #loid forger #anya forger #yor forger #twiyor

[atinymexicanbird]

Family reunion.

Tap for better resolution, tumblr makes the preview so blurry :(

I edited the illustration bc i wanted it to look more clean jsajsj

#au where maria survives and finds a cure for herself and now is on earth helping shadow defeat eggman #shes old here jsajsj #my art #maria robotnik #dr eggman #ivo robotnik #shadow the hedgehog #metal sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic fanart #now thats a lot of tags jajaj #will i color this idk im too lazy but im having fun with my headcanons #robotnik family #ark siblings #last robotniks au

[arthursfuckinghat]

I'm at that part of chapter three my friends, so let me be a reminder that Colm O'Driscoll's plan to lure in Dutch after taking Arthur failed because nobody came looking for him.

He would have died being held captive any longer, he barely escaped.

The gang did not come for Arthur.

#and it makes me seethe #listen in my first playthrough this was the part I thought Arthur was going to die in #that's how little I knew about this game #I was crying real tears #I was mourning arthur three chapters early lol #and I know I know micah explains himself but god it is not good enough #tilly went missing and they noticed right away #they hadn't seen trelawny in a few days and they went to find him #FUCKING BILL GOES MISSING AFTER BEING TAKEN BY BOUNTY HUNTERS AND THEY NOTICE #I seethe I seethe #Arthur Morgan your own family failed you #I get so caught up in the fun family dynamic that I have to remember that arthur is the “protector” #so who protects the protector? well then this mission tells you everything you need to know #arthur has to save himself because nobody was there for him #and again I know that if the gang knew he was taken they would look #but the fact that hosea said LOUD AND CLEAR that it was a trap and that THEY HAD SAID TO MEET UP IF ANYTHING WENT WRONG #AND THEY STILL DIDN'T LOOK FOR HIM!!!!!!!! #THEY DIDN'T EVEN TRY #ARTHUR WENT MISSING FROM A MISSION THAT WAS CLEARLY A TRAP AND THEY DIDN'T GO LOOKING FOR HIM #FOR THEIR SON #THEIR BROTHER #THEY DIDN'T LOOK!!!! #my blood is boiling #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #mick squeaks #arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 spoilers #mick rants #colm o'driscoll

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

#ask me #anon #once AGAIN. #I am not dropping anything #the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again #But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year #In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related #I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped #And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it #I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas. #Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop #Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas #But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now #But I didn't because I'm TIRED #I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired #what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen #drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter #it can really make you freak out #And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will #I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my #followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm #disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing #you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere #I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.

[tervaneula]

“Dad?” 

Splinter is currently sitting on his bed, preparing to turn in for the night. He puts away the pillow he was fluffing up and turns to look towards the doorway of his room. 

“Yes, Blue?” 

Leo doesn’t answer, instead shuffling next to Splinter and sitting down on the floor, leaning his side against the bed. He lifts his face to look up at him. 

“I’m… just tired, dad,” he says, attempting to make light of it with a smile but his voice breaks in the end and that’s all it takes for Splinter to pull Leo into his lap, and as if on instinct the boy buries his face into the rat’s robes. He sobs, and Splinter feels his heart twinge with yet another crack. 

“Oh, oh baby Blue, it is alright,” he murmurs, petting his son’s shell and the back of his head. He knows Leo hasn’t been sleeping again and he had hoped it would pass, like it always does, but for it to go on so long that it gets this bad… Now, this settles it. No more training, no patrols, no strenuous activities aside from rhythm games for at least a week. 

All of his kids could benefit from a break, actually, and Splinter is glad that this is a fact – Leo won’t be singled out if they all are on a holiday of sorts. Brilliant. He knows he’s never been the perfect father, far from it, but he’s trying to do his best for his children and this time is no different. First thing tomorrow morning, he is going to tell his family of their impromptu vacation, and then take them out to Run of the Mill for pizza. 

It’s a great plan. 

Surfacing back to the present from his thoughts, Splinter realises that his musings must have taken longer than he thought because the turtle in his lap is now snoring quietly. With a soft chuckle, Splinter reaches back to grab his comforter and gently wraps it around Leo’s shoulders. He doesn’t mind acting as a pillow for his blue son and while he himself would be uncomfortable like that, partly on the floor, he’s witnessed enough turtle piles to know that the position is no hardship for Leo. 

He keeps petting the blanketed shell, leans back and lets his butt fall asleep, too. 

Just how he likes it. 

#good dad splinter in the house 😭 #my dad is far away but leo's isn't let me be #my brain is fried i have no idea which ep the reference at the end is from and couldn't find it to fact check im sorry lmao #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #rottmnt fanart #rottmnt fanfiction #rise leo #rise leonardo #rottmnt splinter #rise splinter #hamato yoshi #splinter #nqk adjacent #could also be canon compliant in fact #tervdraws #tervdrabbles #family fluff

[mugentakeda]

category 5 jetko moment

#iroh isnt homophobic btw. hes just stupid #he has really bad gaydar but only with his nephew and close friends #Hes like why does my nephew always get frustrated when i set him up with girls... #why does piandao call jeongjeong babygirl.... #i feel like even in an au where jet doesnt realize theyre firebenders hed still have beef with iroh. For comedic purposes #hes like i dont believe in getting the parents approval thats stupid and idgaf. But then zuko is family oriented #so its less of “get mushis approval despite us lowkey beefing” #and more of “do not let zuko find out we have beef or he will be upset probably #and iroh shares this sentiment and thats how they end up getting along. Kind of. #IDK #jetko #jet #zuko #iroh #avatar the last airbender #atla #alicias art

[noctilionoidea]

Yeehaw it’s my favourite western character Texas man from British vampire gothic horror by famous Irish guy

#I made this awhile back and was waiting for a big Quincey day to post this but fuck it I love how this turned out #quincey morris #quincey p morris #dracula #dracula daily #re dracula #re: dracula #Art #traditional art #artwork #illustration #markers #alcohol markers #lol I’m actually a huge western enjoyer (but no one else around me is so I basically have no interaction with the genre :( ) #I used to find the southwest as a setting boring but then my family dragged me out to Utah and Arizona and something just clicked #Like. Oh. These are beautiful vast areas with a stunning geography and a vibrant history and culture #And out west 110 Fahrenheit feels like 80 Fahrenheit which was crazy to me (I made sure to wear a lot of sun protection) #I also realized I was gay and that played into it