#I can see the homophobes crying even more in the corner | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dingochef · 1 year

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Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin & Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Warnings: Swearing, Smut (MDNI 18+ Only), angst with a happy ending, Non-linear narrative, fighting, homophobic language, homophobia, song fic

Word Count: 5.5k

Masterlist

Summary: Jake doesn’t remember the route to the elevators or even what the rest of the ICU floor looked like, his only focus was to get to Bradley. They found room 309 at the end of the hallway. Jake paused before stepping into the room. He knew that when he stepped through the door his life would be divided into another era. Another before and another after and he’s so scared of what the after could be if it doesn’t include Bradley.

Don't Let the Light Go Out

Stare at a wall that's told a thousand tragedies

"Bradshaw, Bradley Bradshaw! What room!?" Jake shouted the instant he ran through the sliding doors of the ER, Coyote trailing right behind him. Jake paid no attention to the family crying and clutching each other in the corner as a defeated doctor walked away. He paid no attention to the various grandmothers and mothers clutching rosaries and mumbling prayers to themselves and, hopefully, a sympathetic God. Jake ran up to the desk and slammed his hands on the worn Formica, yelling his plea again,

"Bradley Bradshaw," this time more plaintive, more desperate, "Which room?"

The unmoved charge nurse at the desk asked,

“Who are you in relation to him?"

"His husband."

Coyote grabbed Jake's shoulders, trying to keep him from launching over the counter to look at the goddamn computer himself.

“Room 309, ICU. You’ll need to show some ID so we can get you badged up.”

Jake pulled his wallet out with shaking hands and gave her the plastic square; Javy’s landed on the desk right behind Jake’s. Jake looked at Javy; with the way Javy hated hospitals he hadn’t expected to have a companion on this journey. Javy picked up on his skepticism.

“I’m your wingman. Where you go, I go,”

Javy said, his voice calm in the din of the ER. The nurse interrupted their moment by clearing her throat and handing them two name tags. Jake doesn’t remember the route to the elevators or even what the rest of the ICU floor looked like, his only focus was to get to Bradley. They found room 309 at the end of the hallway. Jake paused before stepping into the room. He knew that when he stepped through the door his life would be divided into another era. Another before and another after and he’s so scared of what the after could be if it doesn’t include Bradley.

Holding a hand that's loved every part of me

He grasped Bradley’s left hand as it was the first part of Bradley he could see that wasn’t covered with medical equipment. Jake noticed his wedding ring was missing; he knew that he would have been wearing it since he was on desk duty that day because there wasn’t a hop scheduled. He can't comprehend the irony of a car crash being what would take down the force that is Bradley Bradshaw, not even being shot down in enemy territory could take him from the skies, but a teenager texting through a red light is what has brought him here. So still and so unmoving. Javy pulled a chair up to the bed for Jake to sit in and then repeated the same motion for himself.

Jake sat there holding his hand; his own wedding ring catching the small amount of light in the room. Bradley had proposed at the Hard Deck of all places, the ring box burning a hole in his pocket. He realized as he watched Jake take the time to teach Bob a pool move, the unguarded Jake, breathtakingly gorgeous, kind, generous, and soft, that there was no perfect time, only the time they had right now, especially in their profession, tomorrow wasn't guaranteed. He attempted to give his pool cue to Phoenix, but she wasn't looking when he let it go, so it fell to the floor. Bradley practically ran to Jake and pulled him into a deep kiss. They broke apart and Jake’s face had filled with his beautiful wide smile, he looked at Bradley and asked,

"Not that I'm complaining, but what's gotten into you, babe?"

"You," Bradley cringed, cursing his impulsivity once again, he decided to go for broke and dropped to one knee, pulled the ring box out of his project with a shaky hand,

"Jake Seresin, the love of my life, the man I love with my whole being, will you marry me?"

Jake's response was so quiet no one heard it, the whole bar watched with rapt attention at the spectacle unfolding next to the pool tables. Everyone saw Jake's lips move, but no one heard.

"You're going to have to speak up and not leave me hanging, darling," Bradley asked, a bubble of nervousness bubbling up from the pit of his stomach.

"Yes. Yes, I'll marry you, Bradley Bradshaw."

A lady comes and tells me that I've got to leave

Javy had left hours ago; he had his own family to take care of. Jake kept his place next to Bradley’s bed. Somewhere around midnight, the nurse is startled when she walks in expecting only one person in the room. She looked briefly at the chart and with all the authority she could muster, said to Jake,

"Commander Seresin, you'll need to leave, visiting hours are over.”

"It's Bradshaw, that emergency contact form is old, it's Bradshaw now."

Jake jettisoned his curse of a last name when he and Bradley got married, filled with the satisfaction of knowing that the miserable Seresin line died with his father.

"I can't go, I have to be here,” Jake answered back, his voice hoarse and dry.

The desperation on Jake's face must have been apparent and for once there was some mercy in the world. She softened,

"You can stay, let me know if you need a pillow or blanket."

Right away everybody is the enemy

When they broke up all those years ago, the month Jake had to endure before he was reassigned was hell.

All people wanted to see was how destroyed Bradley was by their break up and they assumed it had been Jake's doing, perhaps some despicable act and not Jake's own emotional baggage. It was Jake's inability to believe that someone would love him, his disbelief that love could exist, and more specifically that it could exist in his life that had driven a wedge between the two. It was easier for people to see him as the villain and he let people think it. It was easier to let them keep thinking he was the piece of shit everyone thought he was. He didn't want to divulge his tragic backstory, however cliche it was, the distant emotionally stunted father disappointed by his only child being gay. It was such standard fare that Jake didn't talk about it; he let people think there was something more interesting or more nuanced to his assholeness.

The night before he left Virginia for California he grabbed one last beer with Javy.

"Jake, I know you don't want to hear this, but I say this with all the love in the world,"

Javy said, face open and honest.

Jake scoffs at the word love, a bitter concept on the best days and now an acidic notion that makes him nauseous whenever he thinks about it. Javy continues,

"Take this time to figure out yourself, talk to someone, like a professional. You can't go through this world pushing people who want to love you away because of one shitty person."

Jake rolled his eyes and replied,

"Thanks for the motivational speech there, coach, but I think I'm doing just fine."

"Just think about it okay?"

"Sure, do you feel better now we had this little mini intervention? Ready to get your ass kicked at darts one last time?"

Javy sighs, "Sure."

The thought planted in Jake's brain and took root, and it bloomed at inopportune moments. Like when he saw a flash of an ugly Hawaiian shirt in a bar, when a fucking episode of Magnum PI came on, and when a song he remembers being in Bradley's presence for floats out of a grocery store speaker. The thought of Bradley and the Javy's words echoing in response,

"You can't go through this world pushing people who want to love you away because of one shitty person."

He finally makes a therapy appointment as far away from the base as he can and feigns having a toothache to get the time off. If his CO wondered how the Colgate poster child could have a cavity, he let it slide and approved the request.

The office is in an unremarkable strip mall on the far side of Lemoore. A beige waiting room and a cheery secretary greeted him as he walked through the door, specifically in his civvies. He's ushered into an office with soothing lighting, white noise machine, and strategically placed tissue boxes where he meets his therapist, a kind looking lady in her early 50s named Marge.

"Well, what brings you in, Mr. Seresin?"

"Jake, please call me Jake. And I'm here because,"

his mind filled in a detailed bullet list of all the ways he's fucked up, but he chose an easy start,

"Because I don't think anyone can love me and I can't love anyone else."

Marge nods, very kindly,

"That's a good place to start."

Deep breaths from the room where I watch you lie

Any beat from your heart gets me through the night

The ventilator wheezes out a constant rhythm, offbeat from the heart monitor, which does not have a sound like every tv show would have you think. Jake stares at it so long that he has Bradley's heartbeat pattern memorized. He thinks that if, when, Bradley gets out of here that he'll get it tattooed on his chest above his own heart, reminding him to never take Bradley for granted.

The night they got back together, the night Bradley had driven him home, they fell into bed, just to hold each other. Jake remembers the steady beat of Bradley's heart lulling him to sleep and the fade back into consciousness in the morning.

You're my love, you're my death, you're my alibi

The first time he told Bradley he loved him he was drunk, long after they had broken up, not long after that mission that changed them all. The second time he said it was the next morning, cradling Bradley's face in his hands, their foreheads pressed together,

"I love you, Bradley Bradshaw," Jake said into the space between them, his eyes closed,

"I don't expect you to say it back, but I need you to know that. Know that I finally learned how to love."

Jake's heart started to shatter when he felt Bradley's tears on his own cheeks and he hadn't answered back. He had thought that the overwhelming love he once had from Bradley was gone, until Bradley finally spoke.

"You found me,"

Bradley whispers, voice hoarse, "You found me up there when I thought I was going to die, and you found me back here on the ground. I love you, Jake Seresin. I never stopped."

Say this isn't goodbye

"Is this the end of us?" Jake said, so quietly it was almost lost to the roar of the waves along the Virginia coast.

Bradley sighs, eyes teary,

"Yes, for now. I can't keep doing this Jake. I love you with all of my being, but I need something back from you."

He gives Jake one last hug and told him,

"When you figure it out, come find me."

He left Jake staring at the Atlantic Ocean, Jake sat there for hours watching the tide rise, his father's words echoing in his head. 18 years of self doubt and abuse culminating in this broken human being he had become; someone who can't even have basic emotions. He felt so broken because he can't manage such an innate thing. He can't love someone or be loved.

The next morning he requests a transfer to anywhere that isn't Virginia.

Who's gonna drive me home tonight?

The call came in the middle of the celebration of the uranium mission, the mission they weren't supposed to make it back from. Jake was powerless to ignore it, the three letters on his phone more powerful than Jake's own iron will. He pushed his pool cue at Bob and rushed out the door to the patio, answering the phone as he went. Bradley only hears a muffled,

"Sir," as Jake pushes past him into the darkness outside.

He watched through the windows of the Hard Deck as Jake talked to someone; someone who simultaneously made Jake angry, sad, frustrated, and insignificant. By the end of the conversation Jake is hunched up in one of the Adirondack chairs on the bleached wood deck. He's curled in on himself; he looked unusually small and vulnerable to Bradley.

Bradley debated his inner voice on whether he should give in to his impulse to go to Jake and wrap him in his arms; shelter him from whatever storm was battering the man. As usual, Bradley had sat so long contemplating his actions that he missed his opportunity. He looked up and saw that Jake had stood up and wiped at his face. Bradley saw, for a brief moment, Jake without artifice, without Hangman. Just Jake, the man, the very real and vulnerable man. And as fast as Bradley had recognized it, it was gone. The smirk, the Hangman mask pulled down firmly into place.

Jake bypassed the pool tables where the rest of the Dagger squad was, instead settling at the far end of the bar and ordered up a double whiskey, neat.

He stayed there the rest of the night, repeating his drink order, definitely trying to drink away something.

Penny rang the bell for the last call and Jake paid his tab. When he left the stool, he stumbled enough for Penny to notice. She called Rooster over and talked with him, voice low in a way that Jake knew they were talking about him. He attempted to leave the bar, to be anywhere but there.

He was intercepted by Bradley before he could walk, rather stumble, out the door into the San Diego night.

"Hangman, let me give you a ride home," Bradley asked.

The rage that had been simmering under the whiskey poured forth, misguided as it was,

"I don't need your help Bradshaw."

Bradley sighed, trying to be the bigger person,

"Dude just let me help, you can bitch me out tomorrow, it's late, you're drunk and need a ride."

Jake considered his options and settled on the option before him, partly because it would cause the most inconvenience to Bradley.

"Fine, fuck it, let's go, Bird Boy," he taunted.

The silence inside the Bronco was tense, before Bradley decided to break it.

"You want to talk about why you were trying to drink down half the bourbon supply in San Diego county tonight?"

he asked, trying to disguise his concern.

Jake laughed,

"No, but I probably should."

"You were always a surprisingly introspective drunk."

"Yeah, don't get used to it."

Bradley thought that Jake was ending the conversation and resigned himself to driving the rest of the way to Jake's house in silence. He startled when Jake started talking,

"It was my old man on the phone, dear old Dad. Letting me know yet again what a piece of shit I am. I let my Mom know about the mission and the fact I was just a spare. He decided that he needed to relist my many shortcomings. That I'm still the worthless son who isn't good enough to make the team, whether it be All State Baseball or this fucking mission. Said he didn't understand how I could keep going on being so mediocre. And don't forget the piece de la resistance, I'm a faggot, can't forget that old chestnut."

Bradley let the words dissipate into the air, he sneaked a glance at Jake and the blonde was chewing his nails. Out of a long forgotten habit, Bradley reached across and pulled Jake's arm down before he could draw blood. Their hands landed in Jake's lap, intertwined.

"You know none of that shit is true, right? You know why Maverick made you spare right? In case something like what exactly happened happened. And we needed someone who would disobey orders to do the right thing. Do you think if I was on that deck I would have launched with Cyclone breathing down my neck?"

Jake sighed,

"If you felt the way I did…I do, you would have. You literally came back from the dead, Bradley. I thought you were dead, gone forever along with a chance to be with you again."

Bradley looked at Jake, unsure of his meaning.

Jake is nothing, if not bold, he ducked his head down and plowed through his next sentence,

"Fuck it, it's all out there. I love you Bradley fucking Bradshaw, took me five years and some god damn therapy to get here."

He took a breath and squeezed Bradley's hand still in his lap,

"I hope that you still love me the way you did because I think I'm finally ready for this."

Bradley blinked and looked forward watching the road. He took a deep breath and spoke,

"I need you to say it when you're not drunk and not after talking to him. It needs to come from you, Jake."

Jake nodded, understanding, knowing why Bradley was reluctant, why he didn't want to open his heart again. Bradley stopped in front of Jake's house.

"Bradley, come in please," Jake asked. Bradley started to shake his head, and Jake continued,

"Not for sex, but I want you to be there in the morning when I wake up so I can tell you that I love you. Please do that for me?"

"Okay."

Who's gonna argue 'til they win the fight?

The only reason Jake had gone back to his god forsaken hometown in dreary west Texas was his mother. The cancer she had battled along with life on the dusty plains had finally overtaken the force that was Grace Seresin. A god fearing woman, Grace faced death with a poise and attitude befitting of her first name. Jake had gone only to see her and feel her love one last time. Bradley went because he loves Jake and knew that the trip back to Texas would be devastating in more ways than one. He knew the feeling of helplessness that swallowed you up when you watched your loved one die slowly in front of you; he was there to do anything to keep Jake together.

And right then that meant a screaming match and fist fight in the scrap of dried and worn mud that stood in for a driveway at the, generously named, Seresin Ranch. Bradley had reached this point as he sat in the kitchen, trying not to drink too much coffee. Jed Seresin had been skulking around as his only son and child kept a bedside vigil at Grace's side. The doctor had come and gone that morning letting them know the end was coming soon. Jake hadn't moved since that verdict was rendered. Bradley did what he could, cups of coffee and glasses of water that were at least sipped at, bringing and retrieving food that was untouched.

The grandfather clock in the living room that had seen many generations of Seresins come and go, struck midnight. Bradley grimly thought that Grace Seresin had lived long enough to see another day in this forsaken place; he walked up the creaky wooden stairs to check on Jake. The small angle Bradley could open the door without the century old iron hinge squeaking allowed him to see that Jake was still awake, holding his mother's hand to his cheek as he watched her labored breathing.

In the way that he and Bradley had always been aware of each other even when they fell in and out of each other's orbits, Jake knew Bradley as at the door. He looked over to meet Bradley's eyes and he waved him into the room. Bradley stepped in avoiding the floorboards he had memorized as overly loud and knelt beside the chair Jake had been sitting in for the past 18 hours. Bradley did the only thing he knew would bring some comfort to Jake; he draped his long arms around him and pulled Jake's head to his chest. The gesture elicited a soft sigh from Jake and dissolved some of the tension he had been holding onto all day. Bradley lost track of time in how long they stayed in that embrace; it was long enough that his knees ached against the uneven wooden floorboards.

The door opening past the angle that made it squeak alerted Bradley and Jake that the other inhabitant of the house was there. Jed Seresin looked into the room, instantly scowled, and retreated. Their cocoon broken by the intrusion, Bradley asked Jake if wanted some coffee. Jake nodded and Bradley stood and shook off the pain in his kneecaps. He slowly descended the stairs knowing that it was unlikely that Jake would drink the coffee so timely delivery wasn't all that necessary. He entered the kitchen and went through the motions of making another pot of coffee. Bradley didn't look up when he heard Jed enter the room.

"How can you come into my house and do that fag stuff right in front of his mother?"

Jed spat out. Bradley sighed knowing that a reckoning was coming, as sure as the thunderstorm rumbling on the horizon.

"That fag stuff, you mean loving another human? No wonder you're such a fucking monster, because you've never loved anything in your life, especially that amazing man up there," Bradley replied, anger held at bay as he pointed to the bedroom.

"You're as big of a sissy as he is; should have gotten rid of him when I had the chance. Drowned him like a cat no one wants,"

Jed countered, walking up to Bradley. Bradley stood up to his full height, he towered over Jed by five inches.

"That's your goddamn son. How damaged inside are you to not love your son, your only child?"

Jed bites out a bitter laugh,

"That fag, that queer, isn't my son. He's a good for nothing waste of space and a shame to the Seresin name."

"The Seresin name was stained the day you were born, Jed. Jake's only brought it out of the mud you sunk it in."

"Don't you disrespect me in my own goddamn house, fag."

"Jed, I don't give a shit about your ideas of respect. Not after what you did to Jake, not how you made his life hell till he could run away from this hell hole."

"You fucking sissy boy,"

Jed slurs out as he attempts to throw a punch at Bradley's face. The punch was easily evaded by Bradley, leaning back out his swing. He took the moment to push Jed squarely in the chest so he stumbled back towards the porch door. Jed tried to right himself and fell completely back through the door, landing on his ass on the wooden porch. Bradley advanced and Jed scuttled back down the steps to the driveway, where he stumbled and stood back up. Bradley kept following him, and sneered,

"It's different when somebody can fight back, isn't it?"

He pushed the man again and Jed tried to throw another punch that went wide as Bradley ducked.

"Finally going to get a taste of your own medicine, Jed,"

Bradley spat out as he landed a solid punch on Jed's jaw. The older man reeled from the impact.

"That's all you got, sissy boy?" Jed taunted, spitting blood and at least one tooth onto the ground. Jed attempted to hit Bradley and missed again. Bradley landed a heavy blow at Jed's stomach. The man finally staggered and fell to the ground and the thunderstorm that had been threatening broke the skies open with heavy rain. Bradley leaned over Jed and pulled him up by his shirt. The rain was cold and soaked the two men quickly, but neither paid attention to it.

"Jed Seresin, you are a worthless piece of shit and have been a cancer on this world long enough," Bradley calmly stated, enjoying the panic that filled the older man's eyes as he pondered Bradley's words.

"I could kill you dead on this spot, but you aren't worth the fucking jail time. It would be worth it to pay you back for all the pain you gave Jake." Bradley slapped Jed across the face, "Listen to me and listen to me good, after tonight you cease to exist to Jake. If I ever hear about you saying anything to him I will drive through the night to get to this shit hole and I will make you dig your own grave out in those hills before I kill you. Understand?"

Jed nodded, eyes wide with fear. The rain pelted both of the men as they stared each other down.

"Mamma's gone," Jake said from the porch, startling both men. Bradley looked over to Jake, still holding on to Jed like a rag doll. Jake took the scene in and said, with a resigned sigh,

"Let him go, Bradley. He's not worth it."

Bradley complied, dropping Jed into the rapidly forming mud and walked over to the porch. He stepped up and wrapped Jake up his arms,

"I'm so sorry, Jake," Bradley whispered, partly for his mother's death and partly for beating the shit out of his equally shitty father.

"It's okay, it's done,"

Jake replied, pulling back, "It's time to go, there's nothing here for me anymore."

Jed stood up behind Jake and Bradley instinctively moved between Jed and Jake. Jed yelled out, between the thunder claps,

"I'll be damned if you ever inherit this place. I'll burn it to the ground before I leave it to you, fag!"

Jake stepped in front of Bradley, a quiet strength shining through,

"Papa, you already did that years ago, there's nothing left here I'll ever want. Let's go, Bradley."

You're the only one that knows how to operate

My heavy machinery

"Just let yourself be loved, Jake," Bradley, unusually angry given the content of his words, yelled at Jake.

"I don’t know how else to say it,"

he sighed. Jake turned away, the volume and tone of Bradley's words bringing him back to a dusty old house on the West Texas prairie and not his apartment in Virginia.

Bradley recognized Jake's discomfort, but took it to mean that Jake didn't want to engage with him, he ramped up his next volley of words, and hoped they'd hit somewhere useful.

"You can cut all this macho bullshit. This posturing and let me love you."

Jake sighed, trying to stay present in that moment and not one from years before,

"I can't, I'm not lovable. No one loves someone like me, and besides love isn’t real."

He looked Bradley in the eyes and launched his best missile,

"What we do is fuck and hang around each other, this isn't love."

It was a familiar pattern, a routine cadence to their fights.

Bradley with a heart as big as the world, who loves so deeply it consumes him, can't understand why the person he has given his heart to doesn't reciprocate. He can't fathom not believing in love, that Jake doubts his love because he doesn't think love really exists.

When Bradley had poured out his whole being and he ran dry and bitter is when they argued, him trying desperately to get something in return from Jake.

Don't let the light go out

A rush of blood floods hot thoughts in my head

Jake spent the first few days of Bradley's hospitalization in a dreamy and blurry mix of cups of mediocre coffee, brief snatches of sleep, and visits from their friends and family. He never left Bradley's side, Maverick and others finally conceding in their pleas for him to go home to get some sleep and instead just brought him clean clothes and watered Bradley's house plants.

It was during one of these fits of sleep that Jake was transported back to a cabin they had rented near Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. It was one bedroom, a studio really, tucked into a little valley with the stereotypical babbling brook. It was early May, a rare opportunity for both of them to get away for the long weekend. Jake's memories flooded back; the hazy wave of the curtains from the door they left open to the deck, the morning sunlight peeking through the towering pine trees into the cabin, and the warmth of Bradley wrapped around him as he woke. The dream changed from those specific details to the long ago memory of the slow and sweet love making session Jake and Bradley had indulged in, rather than the sunrise hike Bradley swore he would get up and wake up Jake for. Jake's brain conjured up the vision of Bradley above him, saying sweet and dirty things each time he thrust into Jake. That same rush of endorphins and the overwhelming feeling of Bradley's love flooded his sleeping brain. Just as Jake recognized it as a dream and started to wake, the world went dark and Bradley disappeared into the swarming darkness. Jake woke up, his upper half collapsed on the bed near Bradley's knees, the memory and feeling of Bradley still washing over him. He felt a wave of shame creep over him for the reason he was hard when he woke up; his husband was fighting for his life, he should be thinking of other things than sex.

Even though Jake could feel the warmth of Bradley's hand, it paled in comparison to the fiery passion and heat that Bradley exuded in every part of his life. The image of the bombastic man who flitted around in garish Hawaiian shirts and banged on a slightly out of tune piano compared to the monotone and still person, hell they had even shaved his mustache off for some procedure, didn't compute in his brain. This was and wasn't his Bradley.

Red roses sitting silently beside the bed

Someone from their squadron had sent a bouquet of red roses; Jake had placed it on the far side of the bed, out of his field of vision. The roses felt cruel. They were Jake and Bradley's flower; the one they gave back and forth, even if it was a romantic cliche. The only flower they had at their simple and elegant New Year's Eve wedding ceremony. The red was a beautiful contrast to the gold and silver accents.

Jake had saved and dried out the dozen Bradley brought home to him on each of their wedding anniversaries; the five bouquets and five love notes decorated their house. Jake wondered if Bradley would see these flowers before they wilted; darkly, he wondered if he would ever receive another dozen from Bradley.

I'm saying more right now than I ever said

So much of Jake's days were spent talking to Bradley, most of the time it was a hushed whisper. To anyone who walked by, it looked like Jake was praying, his eyes closed and his hands clasped around Bradley's hand not encumbered by medical equipment, and the quiet murmuring of words only known to him. While it looked like prayer, and Jake had considered praying to a God he stopped believing in a long time ago and that his mother believed till her last breath, the words were more of a constant plea to Bradley.

"Don't leave, please, please, fight this."

"I hope you can hear me, Bradley."

"I know I don’t say it enough, but I love you, so much it scares me at times. If you come back to me, I’ll say it every hour, every minute of the day."

Don't wanna live if the thought of loving you is dead

When the pleas reached a fever pitch of desperation, Jake let the feelings that threatened to drown him out. It was usually in the middle of the night, when no one else would hear how dark Jake's mind had gotten. "Bradley, I don't know how I'm going to keep going if you're not in my life. I've lived without you and it was pure pain every second. I don't think I can do it again, sweetheart."

Who's gonna drive me home tonight?

Who's gonna argue 'til they win the fight?

You're the only one that knows how to operate

My heavy machinery

Don't let the light go out

“Jake?” Bradley rasped out. The ventilator had been removed two days earlier, but the coma had lingered on. The doctors said it was normal, that his body was focusing on healing his injuries. Jake startled out of a light sleep, where he was half bent over the bed. He was so sleep deprived that he believed that the sound of Bradley's voice was his own brain playing cruel tricks on him, till he heard it again. Jake blinked back to consciousness and saw again the one thing he had hoped for all those days next to Bradley's bed, his eyes. Bradley’s dark brown eyes looking back at him with all the love in the world.

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lunar-years · 2 months

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Ngl when I see ppl shipping Jamie and Dr. O'Sullivan I think they're at least a little homophobic and very straight.

well, i disagree with a blanket accusation of homophobia, but I do think it's an opinion that holds a very ~straight appeal~, definitely, lol.

there are honestly a boat load of reasons i hate it but they boil down to:

i kind of get why people (esp. a segment of the general audience) might be attracted to it because it's soooo something (bad) shows/sitcoms would do. Like, my god is it TRITE. Predictable, formulaic...boring as all hell! Of course he's going to get with the nameless sister who has less than five minutes total of screen time, just for a little added spice and drama, sure. That's what happens in (bad) shows. But luckily for the rest of us, Ted Lasso even at its worst is not that brand of bad, lol.

it's completely baseless? Nothing wrong with a baseless ship i guess, but at the same time...literally why this one? lol. Like, Jamie and Roy's sister share one scene together in which I don't believe they even say anything to one another directly? There is no chemistry, no...anything? The entire premise for the ship seems to be Jamie telling Roy his sister is hot. Which was very clearly intended as a way for Jamie to get under Roy's skin. Nothing about the scene makes me want to see those two dating.

the big proponents of it i've seen (often, definitely not always) seem to fit into one of two categories 1) people who don't really like Jamie and/or are upset Jamie "got in the way" of their ship, and thus want him to be written into a corner that pulls him away from their preferred couple/inherently shuffles up their dynamic. they don't actually care to watch a plot between Jamie & Roy's sister, they just want Jamie firmly categorized as Taken and thus Not Interested in Roy and/or Keeley, and this is a convenient and predictable(y stupid) way to do it. lol.

OR 2) people who DO really like Jamie and in fact really like Roy & Jamie, but in a very "no homo" way, who want to see more of their dynamic and have a way to define/further explore their closeness, whilst also justifying their own enjoyment of it, that's well set apart from "they have homoerotic tension." Jamie & Roy's sister dating holds an appeal because it more explicitly puts their relationship into firm "brotherly" territory. And I unabashedly loathe that for the same reason i loathe "Roy is Jamie's father figure!" ...foremost because no really, they can just be best friends!! Even if you do not want to ship roy-jamie romantically, you do not need to slap different familial labels on them (or put them into random other pairings) to make their relationship "more." Their relationship is already "more"...they are canonically best friends!! idk if I'm explaining this in the best way but the mindset behind it often feels very rooted in ~the nuclear family is the most important relationship a person can achieve~ and thus a need to fit everyone into traditional family roles (and in some cases that PLUS blatant homophobia) and it gives me a personal ick. Ew.

If you want to see quirky jamie & phoebe antics or roy and jamie bickering, Jamie x Roy's sister getting it on is in fact not actually necessary for any of that? (and imo doesn't add anything to anyone's arc) Going back to point one...using that pairing to get there feels TO ME very boring and sitcom cartoony.

(i also obviously dislike it for my personal shippy reasons and must acknowledge my bias. 🫡 Jamie dating his best friend's sister when he clearly has a crush on said best friend is a relationship-based mental low point/cry for help i do not actually want him to go through as my fav character, LOL.)

(disclaimer: people can of course feel differently and are entitled to ship whoever they want without even needing a clear reason or explanation! that's totally valid! i want to reiterate I don't think it's inherently problematic as a ship. I just personally think it's a rotten tomato of a plot point and i'm so beyond glad the show didn't waste time entertaining it.)

#ted lasso #asks #ship post #anti jamie x dr. o'sullivan #anti jamie x roy's sister #jamie tartt #dr o'sullivan #like. i also dislike roy x ms bowen but at least i see what attracts people to their dynamic. This one? not so much. idk.#booo the crowd is throwing tomatoes!!#hater hours

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thatboymikey · 2 years

Text

Vance hopper x male reader

1,257- word count

tw: swearing, use of homophobic slur/insult

rating: teen

Vance hopper the scariest sophomore in town. He walked around acting as though he was tough shit with his clique of weirdo friends who basically worshiped the ground, he walked in. No one was safe from Vance especially y/n the town ‘freak’. The rumor had been spread that he was a raging homo after people had seen him innocently holding his guy friend's hand not in a romantic way just a friend way but obviously no one would understand that so lucky y/n had become an even bigger target for bullies mainly Vance. The thing that made everything worse was the huge crush y/n had developed on the blonde boy. “Hey guys watch this” Vance remarked as he shoved y/n into one of the lockers beside him causing him to drop all his belongings in the process. “Shit” y/n whispered under his breath as he became face to face with Vance. His face becoming a bright red shade as he stared into his blue eyes “hey flamer y/n” Vance remarked with a smile “hey Vance” y/n replied as to not show fear or weakness in front of Vance “don’t get an attitude with me” Vance said as he put his arm across y/n’s neck “sorry Vance just let me go to class” he said in a hoarse voice as Vance only pushed his arm into his neck harder “fine but this isn’t over'' he remarked before sending a punch into y/ns middle sending him to the ground in a coughing fit. Everyone around him was laughing or silently talking with their peers “let’s go boys” Vance remarked as he walked away from y/n *time skip* y/n walked out of school lucky enough to avoid Vance in the process his luck would only prove to run out as he saw Vance alone walking out of the convenience store picking up his pace, he walked faster to avoid him praying that Vance didn’t see him. He was only proved to be wrong when he saw Vance turning the corner where he was “fuck me” y/n said under his breath as Vance grabbed him one again bringing him to a more private area the creek just underneath the bridge leading to y/n’s house “Vance what do you want?” y/n said as Vance continued pulling him along before pushing him to the ground and pushing his knee on his stomach to keep him down “look I don’t know what’s going on with you but I know a queer like you obviously likes me” he said with a snarl “Look that’s not the case can you just let me go I don’t want to fight you” y/n said calmly as he looked into Vance’s eyes attempting to not blush but failing in the process “that whenever I look directly at you you’re face becomes a shade redder I know you like me but you should know I’m not a fag so you should get over this little thing before I give you what you deserve.'' y/n's heart sank. He knew he had no chance with Vance but it didn’t mean this stung any less “ok Vance I’m sorry” y/n replied trying not to cry “that’s another thing I don’t understand you’re always nice to me I know you can easily beat the shit out of me but you don’t” Vance said as he lifted himself off of him “because you don’t scare me Vance you scare other people but not me” y/n said his voice sincere “Look I know everyone in this town hates me and you have every right to hate me too but I don’t think you’re a bad person Vance” he continued as he picked himself up brushing the leaves and dirt off himself “so if you don’t mind I’ll be going” y/n finished as he picked up all his stuff and walked away. Vance just stood there in shock not understanding what just happened. Everyone was scared of Vance but why not y/n was it that stupid crush or whatever he couldn’t put his finger on it so he followed him planning to sneak into his home at night to ask all the necessary questions. (11:30 pm) The sun had fully set. Y/n was sitting at his small desk completing English homework before he heard small taps on his window he got up to inspect the noise not expecting to see Vance standing below his window looking up at him “what the fuck Vance” y/n remarked as he opened the window “can I come in?” he asked “yeah sure “ y/n replied as Vance climbed through the window feet first attempting to be as quiet as possible “what do you want” y/m remarked as Vance was standing in his room. “I was thinking about what you said earlier. What do you mean I’m not a bad person?” Vance asked as he finally took a seat on his bed. “Well, I think that you’re mean to people because you want to act like you're a strong powerful person but behind that alter ego you’re just a regular 16 year old boy” y/n replied sitting next to Vance watching him fiddle his fingers. “I- fuck this is stupid why am I doing this” he remarked to himself before finally getting out what he wanted to “y/n I’m- I’m sorry for everything I guess you’re right I want to fit in and I want people to look up to me” he stated his head hanging low “hey it’s ok I understand it’s not fun to be picked on” he laughed “yeah a few years ago I was bullied so I vowed that I’d never let anyone else push me around anymore so I became cold and aggressive to hide the fact I was scared of being bullied for something I couldn’t control” he finished as he looked into y/n’s eyes once again never realizing he was kind of handsome “hey it’s ok” y/n replied as he grasped onto one of Vance’s hands squeezing it lightly with a smile for reassurance. Then everything happened so fast y/n felt Vance's soft lips upon his own. He lightly closed his eyes taking in the new sensation before they promptly pulled apart for air, their faces still incredibly close to each other. All he could do was smile. “Shit I’m sorry I should go” Vance remarked as he stood up from the bed “no no Vance it’s ok” y/n reassured as he got up along with Vance. “I know you like me but I just- I should’ve asked” Vance said tears brimming his eyes out of fear y/n would yell at him or force him out of his room “hey hey Vance it’s ok” y/n said as he grasped Vance’s face in his hands wiping away any tears that had spilled from his eyes as he leaned in again to press another soft kiss to his lips. Vance returned the kiss as he grasped y/n’s hips and pulled him closer. When they let go, they embraced each other in a hug y/n slowly running his fingers through Vance's hair “this is wrong isn’t it?” Vance questioned, slightly pulling out of the hug “that’s what other people might say but it isn’t Vance” he reassured as he pushed some of Vance's stray hairs away from his face. “So, are we boyfriends?” Vance questioned “if that’s what you want sure” y/n replied with a smile “yeah that is what I want” Vance replied kissing y/n once again to fully assure that they were together now. - the end

(hello everyone it’s been a while since i’ve posted any of my writing this wasn’t a request I just wrote it cause there’s a lack of Vance hopper x male reader stories out there so yeah I hope ya’ll enjoy :)

#vance hopper #vance hopper x male reader #the black phone #horror #slashers #fanfic #male reader

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wordsmithwhumpsandfluff · 5 months

Text

Oliver is stood up and Isaac takes care of him.

This one is reeeeeeeaaaaaallllllly dramatic and sad.

TW: mention of inapropriate pics & homophobia.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaac turned the corner, and the restaurant came into view. Just from the look of the building, he could tell it was a helluva fancy restaurant.

Standing on the sidewalk, leaning against a light post and wearing a nice suit, was Oliver. Isaac could tell his best friend was crying before he even pulled up. Oliver walked over to the car before it even came to a stop, and he climbed into the passenger seat without saying a word. When Isaac opened his mouth to say something, Oliver quickly whispered “Don’t” and Isaac kept his mouth shut and drove away.

The car was silent for a good long while. Finally, Isaac couldn’t take it and turned into the parking lot of a gas station. Before Oliver could register where they’d stopped, Isaac had turned in his seat to face him. “Okay. Answers. Now.”

Oliver pouted and looked away from Isaac. “I don’t wanna talk.”

“Okay, well, I do.” Isaac pinched the sleeve of Oliver’s suit. “You called me to come pick you up, you were at one of the fanciest restaurants I’ve ever seen, and you were crying. You’re gonna talk to me, or else I’ll tell your mom about this, and she’ll be the one to play therapist instead of me. Your choice, Olive.”

The look of horror on Oliver’s face told Isaac that he’d gotten to him. Oliver and his parents were close, but his mom was the biggest and most pushy worrywart in the universe.

“Fine,” Oliver said, still not looking at Isaac. “I got stood up. A guy from my poli-sci class asked me out. I waited for him for hours before I checked my phone to see if he called or texted, and I saw that he posted a picture on Instagram of him at a party. . . with his girlfriend.”

Isaac was speechless for a second. “What?”

“So, I went outside and called him, and the jerk answered. On speaker.” Oliver hugged his arms around himself as if he was trying to curl up into a ball. New tears started to fill his eyes. “He and his friends laughed, and I heard something about a bet and the guy said, and I quote, ‘I am not a disgusting faggot like you’.”

Isaac just blinked. Then, “What’s his name?”

Oliver looked at him with wet eyes. “What?”

“His name. And show me that picture so I don’t accidentally rip the wrong guy limb from limb.”

Oliver frowned and looked away. “Just take me home, please.”

“Olive, I’m not gonna let that jerk get away with this.”

“Isaac, please—”

“He stood you up! That homophobic jackass hurt you, and I’m gonna—”

“Isaac, shut the hell up!” Oliver yelled. He had tears in his eyes, and Isaac couldn’t tell if he looked more angry or pained. “This is none of your business! I called you to take me home so. . . can you just. . . do that? Please?”

The look on Oliver’s face made Isaac keep his mouth shut. Isaac nodded and pulled out of the gas station. The drive was awkward and silent, and the fancy restaurant was so far from campus and the traffic was so bad that it seemed like they’d be in the car for a while.

Eventually, Oliver turned on Isaac’s radio. It was some teen-pop station and a Harry Styles song was playing. Isaac glanced over to Oliver and say that the black-haired boy was glaring out the window with his head against the glass, mouthing along to the song a bit.

Isaac’s rage from earlier puttered out. Keeping one hand on the wheel, he moved his other hand and placed it on Oliver’s arm. “Hey,” he said, and Oliver looked at him. “Sorry. I’m sorry you got stood up.”

Oliver nodded, but didn’t say anything. Isaac hated seeing Oliver like this. He hated when his best friend was without a smile on his face.

Isaac turned the car to the right, and Oliver looked at him with confusion. “My place is straight ahead and to the left.”

Isaac nodded. “Yup. But I’m taking you to my place.”

“Isaac, no. Just take me—”

“Did you eat anything while waiting for Señor Asshat?”

Oliver cocked a brow. “Señor what now?”

“Did. You. Eat?”

Oliver frowned. “No. But why—?”

“Chinese food sounds good?”

Now Oliver was getting bugged again. “Isaac stop. I don’t want—”

“Oh look,” Isaac said with a smug smile, “we’re at my place.” Then he shut off the car and stepped out before Oliver could say anything.

Oliver just stared at Isaac, who was walking towards the apartment building. With a scoff, he got out of the car and ran after Isaac. “This is kidnapping!” he said as he came up to Isaac.

The blonde smirked. “Oh, is it? Let the record show that you called me to pick you up.”

“And to take me home! To MY HOUSE!”

Isaac shrugged and walked into his apartment’s elevator. Oliver, without any other choice, joined him with a huff.

The elevator ride was short since Isaac lived on the second floor. When they got into Isaac’s apartment, Oliver sat on Isaac’s couch with an annoyed huff.

“You like curry chicken, right? Or was it orange chicken?” Isaac asked as he took off his shoes and carried them to his bedroom.

Arms crossed and pouting, Oliver mumbled, “Orange chicken”, just loud enough for Isaac to hear but not understand.

“Louder, grumpy-puss?”

“Orange!” Oliver yelled.

Isaac nodded as he left his bedroom and pulled out his phone, ordering the Chinese food.

Oliver stared at his fancy loafers he’d bought for the date. He wanted to trash them now. They were uncomfortable as shit anyway.

“You wanna get out of that suit?” Isaac asked, sitting beside Oliver on the couch. “You can borrow some clothes, if you want.”

As pissed as Oliver was, his suit was almost as uncomfortable as his shoes, though the suit was a gift from his mom so he didn’t want to trash it. “Sure,” he sighed, getting up and walking towards Isaac’s room. Isaac didn’t follow since they’d been trading clothes for years, and half of the shirts in Isaac’s closet were Oliver’s anyway.

Five minutes after Oliver left the couch, Isaac was scrolling through Instagram on his phone when he heard Oliver yell, “OH MY GOD, YOU HAD MY YELLOW HOODIE?! I THOUGH I WAS GOING CRAZY! I THOUGHT YOU HATED THIS THING!”

Isaac snorted. “Yes, I hate it!” he yelled back. “I was trying to keep you from dressing like a goddamn highlighter!”

Isaac realized he made a mistake by not burning the hoodie when Oliver came out of his room wearing the hoodie with Christmas pajama pants. Isaac cringed, and Oliver smiled and laughed for the first time that night.

“I hate that hoodie,” Isaac said as Oliver sat next to him on the couch again.

Oliver shrugged. “It’s cozier than anything in the entire planet, so I don’t care.” Oliver sighed and sagged against Isaac’s shoulder. “Thank you for picking me up.”

Isaac smiled and wrapped an arm around him. “Of course. Now, if you’d just tell me who he is and where he lives, then I could—”

“You are NOT going to kill him, Isaac,” Oliver said sternly.

“Then what if I—”

“You’re not gonna sic Spirit on him either. I’m just gonna forget about this.”

Isaac frowned. He wanted to do something.

They turned on the TV and started watching Pokémon together—an obsession they’d shared since childhood and still had. After a while, the doorbell rang and Isaac got the Chinese food from the delivery guy.

They watched TV and ate. After a while, Oliver looked at Isaac and asked, “Can I stay here for the night?”

Isaac smiled. “Yeah, of course. I wasn’t planning on driving you home anyway.”

When they’d finished eating, they put on a Ryan Renolds movie and watched that until it was well past midnight and Isaac was falling asleep on the couch.

Oliver kept watching the movie until his phone started buzzing on the coffee table non-stop. The sound woke Isaac up and the blonde looked at Oliver. “Who the hell is texting you this late?” he asked.

Oliver shrugged and grabbed phone. Instantly, he froze, staring at the screen with a horrified look on his face.

Isaac frowned. “What’s wrong? Is it that asshole?”

Silently, Oliver handed Isaac the phone. As soon as the blonde saw the messages, his anger skyrocketed higher than it ever had before.

It must’ve been the guy who’d stood up Oliver. He was spamming homophobic memes and slurs, and he even sent dick-pics with words saying ‘To the Fag’.

Isaac quickly pressed call and stood up, making Oliver look up at him with wet eyes and ask what he was doing.

The jerk picked up, sounding drunk as hell. “Heeeeeeey, faggot! You like the pics? I figure since you ain’t gettin’ any, you might like to—”

“Shut the hell up you prick and listen to me,” Isaac said in a voice that was so threatening that Oliver was taken by surprise. “Oliver is kind, sweet, and undeserving of what you did. He is amazing and didn’t need you to pull something like this. There is nothing wrong with the fact that my friend is gay. There is something clearly very wrong with you for doing something so sick though, so let me tell your dumbass what’s gonna happen: You are going to apologize a lot to Oliver the next time you see him. And if you don’t, then not only will I beat you to hell and back myself with the help of my other friend who’s been to jail multiple times for public fighting—and winning—but I will also print and post pictures of your tiny wimpy cock around the campus for everyone to see, along with a picture of your ugly-ass face so everyone knows who to point and laugh at. Do you understand me?”

Silence.

“I said, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!”

“Y-yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to Oliver the next time that you see him.” Then Isaac hung up. Harris Fordson, the guy’s contact said.

When Isaac looked at Oliver, Oliver had tears running down his face and his bottom lip was trembling. “Isaac—” he said, voice breaking.

Isaac sat on the couch again and hugged Oliver close. “You didn’t deserve that,” he whispered. “You deserve a nice guy who will take you on dates to places you like and who will treat you right. That guy was an asshole. He’ll apologize, and then he won’t bother you again; I’ll make sure of it.”

Oliver cried a little longer, clinging to Isaac. He cried until the lateness of the hour crashed into him like a truck and he fell asleep against Isaac. The blonde smiled, carefully lifting Oliver and carrying him into the guest room. After tucking his best friend in, he tried to leave but Oliver grabbed his wrist sleepily and said “Stay”.

Isaac smiled and laid down beside Oliver. His best friend hugged him once again, and he’d hugged back.

They’d had many sleepovers before. They’d fallen asleep hugging each other before, but there was an air around them that felt different. Maybe because of what Isaac had said or maybe because Oliver was so sad. Whatever the case, Isaac held Oliver closely, promising to himself that he’d never let Oliver get hurt like that again.

#This one made me cry😭😭😭#I LOVE THEM SM!!!#I have a fic in my drafts that I can't wait to finish because of these two!!!#isaac #oliver #Anyone sensing anything between them 👀????

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maryellencarter · 5 months

Text

so i'm in a really weird position here. i'm not sure i'm capable of participating in transformative fandom anymore. i'm that burned out on ahipping.

i've been in the lupin iii fandom for the past couple years, as y'all know. at first it was a lot of fun. but there was a ton of really aggressive biphobia, a ton of the "anybody who writes or draws Icky Stuff is a sex criminal irl and must be loudly shunned by all right-thinking people", it got into "if you point out that no one on this show is canonically queer you are a pedophile and must be dogpiled on every social media platform we can find you on"... it's a really, really toxic place.

about a year ago, a streaming miniseries called "lupin zero" aired. it's very well done, very nuanced and subtle. this fandom couldn't find nuance or subtlety if it tried with both hands. lupin zero tells the story of lupin and jigen's friendship, if they met in school as teenagers. it's the only story i've ever seen that manages to show a primary friendship, a friendship with the narrative importance and the story beats you only ever see given to romance. it was -- it *would* have been, could have, should have been, incredibly important to me. i thought i had some representation.

instead, the entire fandom went nuts. they announced that lupin/jigen was canonically romantic (which is a complete misunderstanding of the show and the themes: it's cram-packed with cagliostro references, and jigen is set up as a clarisse figure at every turn, including the direct reference to lupin stealing their hearts). they congratulated everyone within earshot on "not being lied to anymore". they announced that "every queer" was happy to have the relationship "confirmed romantic". they announced that anyone who wasn't overjoyed was a homophobe. and on and on.

i've had to block the lupin zero tag entirely, because every piece of art or screenshot includes a caption like "that moment when you realize you're in love", "this means family as in married NOT as in brothers!", nobody can so much as mention it without aggressively pushing the "it's canon romantic" down everybody's throats. the arophobia is incredibly vocal and continuous.

Only two other people who were watching the show said so much as "it can be read either way", when I was crying out against the fandom-wide celebration that there's no place for me here. One of them is dead. I haven't been able to start writing on a new idea in the Lupin fandom since we lost her.

All I wanted was a little corner. A space where I could fiddle around with my own interpretations, maybe bounce some ideas off people. Be allowed to exist in peace. I wanted to celebrate a friendship that wasn't second best -- that mattered, in the way only romance is normally allowed to matter in this world.

I've spent the last year trying to find that space. It doesn't exist, *can't* exist. Romance is like kudzu here. You always have to be actively fighting it, and you'll never win.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. There's no joy left in this fandom for me. And I don't know -- I think about trying to pick up another fandom, about characters I like or stories I might tell, and I just can't. I can't bring myself to write a shippy story, not when it means aligning myself with more people who will probably also call me homophobic and anti-queer for not loving the exact same way they do. But that's what Leia and I write best, it's what we enjoy writing. And I don't want to take up the same exact fight for a tiny isolated box where it's safe to whisper that nonromantic, nonfamilial love might exist or even (shock horror) be love.

#i'm sure this deserves some warning tag but i have no idea what #arophobia #lots and lots and lots of arophobia #an entire fandom drunk on arophobia and gold star gay apotheosis

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ghostofechoes · 2 years

Text

Spy x Family Au Ficlet, Steve is Loid Dustin is Anya and Yor is Eddie

After that scene all I just saw Steve losing his shit seeing Dustin crying and had to write it.

Dustin looked over to Steve the twinkle of his activating powers ringing in his ear. “He’s a sp-ecialist in mental health for kids”. He didn’t look at his dad, just continued talking like vomit. The official Fredrick just looked tickled thinking he was trying to use big words.

“You don’t say, and what do you think of your other dad” the man beside him hid the sneer quite well from the other two but it didn’t get past Steve. He was homophobic, he knew that coming in but something about that look in his eye as he glanced at Eddie.

He was refined and was even willing to dress up all prim and proper, to sell Dustin better. But his tattoos would peek through, both the homophobe and Hopper had noticed it. Hopper had the decency to recognize the attempt.

The bastard not so much.

Steve was thinking about why that slipped, he shouldn’t care it wasn’t his concern.

He was so deep in his thoughts that he missed the question but Dustin’s response was on point “He’s so much fun! And he makes me happy-” Dustin face scrunched up thinking honesty was what dad told him to say.

“But he can be scary” Eddie choked on the tea he was drinking, rather elegantly until that moment. Steve felt a twitch on the corner of his cheek but thought nothing of it. The way Dustin grinned like he did good.

“Scary? Does he hurt you” bastard saw the opening, abuse he could use that.

“Nope, he only hurts those who hurt me, even teaches me how to defend myself” Dustin gave a nod like a smug little shit.

Hopper was interested, this Dustin was much more than what he initially thought, he had energy, he had spunk, he would make a great addition.

Frederick chuckled as Dustin posed a rather wobbly martial arts stance.

“I see, so if you had to give your fathers a score what would it be?” Dustin vibrated at the opportunity to say his real feelings. “A perfect score! I love them so much I want to be with them forever, I laugh a lot and they make me feel special.” Eddie was grinning, failing at hiding his glee, even his face was tinged a bit, never hearing such kind words from the little shits mouth before.

Steve started feeling that tug on his lips again, the one that reached all the way down to his chest, which felt so light and warm.

Only to feel it drenched in ice when he heard that click of the bastard’s tongue.

“But what about your mother, don’t you feel like something is missing without her? Isn't it weird having only dads?” Frederick hissed that was highly inappropriate they are progessive that's such archaic thinking, but Dustin spoke before he could say a word.

“But my dad is my mom” Dustin looked to Steve, his bubbly personality popped, folding into himself with each word.

“Mr. Swan I think that’s inappropriate” Eddie was already at Dustin’s side who looked hollow. The man raised his hands in mock surrender looking rather gleeful.

“Now, now it’s an honest question, there is no maternal presence in his life, doesn’t he miss his mom?”

“Yeah” Dustin’s voice broke, his lip wobbled, but he was no longer there flashes of a screaming woman, of him crying so tiny, he wasn’t able to remember her face. No, how was he going to find her now.

A tear plopped down on his lap, sucking the air out of the room.

Steve's thoughts were racing: how was he going to salvage this? How was he going to clean up that fucking bastard’s mess. The mission came first, they weren’t his real family so it was okay just find a way to brush this under the rug.

He was concentrating so hard his fist was clenched, his thumb tucked beneath his knuckle, rubbing the flesh there raw. ‘Restrain yourself King, restrain’

“If he can’t even handle such a silly thing as the absence of his mother, how will you be able to make it through without the two of you coddling him, pathetic.” he ‘whispered’ under his breath, Eddie fingers dug into the chair, his knuckles growing white a soft pop of torn leather.

“Pathetic” he growled back glaring straight at the man it took all in his power to dislodge his fingers and swipe that pen in his pocket across his neck, or maybe use that handkerchief to strangle him instead.

“Now now, don’t be upset, of course he would prefer his own blood, of course he would prefer his mother”

Swan was just a bundle of delight, now these homo’s have no chance at a better life than-.

There was a gust of air that swiped right before his nose before slamming against the table so hard it shattered.

“Excuse me there was a spider” he huffed standing straight and fixing his outfit. The spider in question twitched one last time.

“Thank you for your time but let’s go” he looked at Eddie and Dustin who were ogling him wide eyed. He just had to blink before they were at his side, Dustin tucked into Eddie’s neck as the man followed in toe.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #spy x family au #dustin henderson #dustin harrington #I just wanted to #it wouldnt leave my head

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not-a-space-alien · 2 years

Text

Magnanimous Moonrise Chapter 8M

Story masterpost

Complementary chapter

Shorter chapter for this one since Valen actually isn't in 8S and this is just what he was up to while they were gone! (hint: it's the same thing he's been doing the whole story!) (lying there in a cage!)

Content/Content warnings for this chapter: Nonconsensual bondage/restraint/being trapped, gag/muzzle, sadism, homophobic/misogynistic slur usage

Valen had been given an opportunity, one he could not afford to waste. His hands were cuffed in front of him, and not secured to the inside of the coffin, and then he’d been left alone when everyone went home.

He had to get the muzzle off. If he couldn’t get it off tonight, he would never be able to, he was sure.

He’d been trying for hours. He’d never gotten a good look at whatever mechanism kept the muzzle on, but he’d been desperately clawing at it ever since Nick had locked the basement door. In a time when he’d been stronger, he would have been able to tear through the leather like it was nothing.

He needed to have one hand on either side of his head to be able to open it. That much was clear from the start. But his wrists were locked together, with just about an inch between them, unable to do anything but move them together to one side or the other.

If he could get his head down by the other end of the coffin, maybe he could catch it on the cuffs that usually kept his feet locked in place and tear it. He tried desperately to fold his body in the narrow space to do so, but only succeeded in rolling from prone to supine a couple of times.

The open wounds from earlier still hurt. He'd been pushing through the pain, but it was starting to get to him as he tried to move around.

This stupid experiment Nick was running, if it could even be called that. He cut Valen open a bunch, and then started pouring molten silver into half of them. To see if or how much it impeded the healing process. And when inevitably the punished wounds closed more slowly, he would report that his results were silver impaired wound healing. Which was probably true, but also not what this piss poor experiment was showing. It was showing that molten silver impaired wound healing, and it couldn't be ruled out that the extreme temperature burning him had been what'd done it. No, a much more appropriate experimental control would have been to pour a metal that was molten, but not otherwise harmful to him, in the non-silvered wounds. Aluminum, or iron–

Why are you thinking about this Why are you thinking about this Why are you thinking about this Why are you thinking about this–

The vigor of his movements gradually started to die down the longer he went without any success. His heart sank, desperation returning as he started to realize the answer to this now or never challenge was probably going to be never.

He lay facedown in the coffin, letting his head drop onto the metal bars.

The front door opened upstairs. This was what Valen had hoped he could free himself to avoid: Nick’s afterdark visit.

He let himself shake with fear as he heard Nick’s footsteps approach the basement, the keys jingling. Suppressing it never helped. Why bother?

The door creaked open. Valen tilted his head to look up, where Nick was menacing him from the top of the stairs.

They just looked at each other for a moment.

“That dyke cunt took the key, but don’t think that’ll save you.” Nick started down the stairs. “There are still plenty of things I can do to you through the bars.”

Valen pressed himself into the corner, as far away from Nick as he could get, growling.

“Got a little fight in you today, huh? That’ll be nice.” He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, his boots taking up Valen’s whole field of view. “It’s so much better when you don’t just lie there and take it. When you struggle and cry. I love knowing how much it hurts. I love hurting you.”

He turned around and lit the furnace, dropping the solidified silver back into it. He then took a seat and stared at Valen, grinning wickedly. “Oh and by the way, I forgot to congratulate you. You’ve been here for six months now, which is how long I was held by vampires before escaping.”

Valen wanted to offer sympathy, to tell him that such a thing never should have happened to him, to anyone, but even if he could have, it would have turned rotten in his mouth. He hated Nick. He didn’t care if bad things happened to Nick, even a past version of Nick that was completely innocent.

“Apparently it’s normal for noble vampires to keep humans in their houses to feed straight from them, and apparently these guys wanted a little taste of that before they sent me off for mass blood processing. But I’ve already told you a lot about them, huh? About how they hurt me?”

The metal in the furnace sizzled.

“Of course, you’re intimately acquainted with some of the things they did to me, having experienced it yourself now.” He leaned over. “How does it feel?”

It feels bad. The fuck do you want me to say?

Nick opened his mouth to continue, then his ears pricked up. Valen heard it too: The crunch of car tires on the gravel outside.

“Shit,” said Nick, and he scrambled up to extinguish the furnace, tromping up the stairs.

The front door opened again. “Hello? Who’s home?” A woman’s voice.

Lex’s voice. And Ari could be heard behind her, with her usual sardonic comments.

Lex and Ari were here.

***

Tag list <3

@annablogsposts

@darlingwhump

@nicolepascaline

@oddsconvert

@pumpkin-spice-whump

@soursagas

@thecyrulik

@whumpsday

#hurt/comfort #angst #vampires #whump #vampire whumpee #whumblr #my writing

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theliterarywolf · 1 year

Text

Alright, let's compile some spoiler-related asks under a Read More. There's four here so, uh... Plenty of reading

Anonymous asked: Holy shit, Submission-anon here. I was actually considering mentioning how much Zora's domain bothered me in Totk this time around. Glad to see I'm not the only one, and I hope it's fine I add my thoughts on that to my submission about my observations on Yona's character, since I feel it REALLY plays into WHY the entirety of Zora's domain feels a lot less... fun, emotional and personal, like it did in Botw, or even Aoc. Anonymous asked: Zora's domain was my fave in botw 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 sounds like it'll be my least fucking fave this time around fuck Anonymous asked: Dorephan deciding Sidon is straight, so he can have a go at Link. I'm only saying one thing: 20 liters. Anonymous asked: The straights are at it again /J But seriously, not going to be "QUEERPHOBIC!HDHUYDB!" Bullshit argument for loz, but I will point out that when someone says "This chick kinda sucks I think link fits better with this other fem character!" You get shitton of support or at least no real backlash, even if she's "only a friend". But if you say "I don't like Yona." even non shipping related, so many people will throw a tantrum and claim it's because "you wanna make link gay, dudes can be friends"

Anon 1: Feel free, anon.

Anon 2: I mean, you'll probably still have fun. I will say that reassembling the Zora Armor was interesting, at least...

Anon 3: First of all, I can't get over 'deciding' because I want anyone who has played through the Zora's Domain portion of TotK to look me in the eyes and deny that it honestly felt like Dorephan was more excited to see Link than Sidon was.

Like, yeah, after the Water Temple when Sidon went down on one knee to present his vow to Link and all, but still...

...Also, you just had to add that cursed tidbit at the end there, huh?

Anon 4: I feel that we have been seeing a more vocal amount of headcanon brainrot with ToTK as of late. Because, yeah, even though me and another anon were joking about Yona being a beard, they were just that: jokes. Some people out there are legitimately trying to cry homophobia because of her introduction and it's just, like I said, Sidon is a Prince (well, now a King but whatever), he is Dorephan's ONLY HEIR because Mipha DIED, he has to get married in order to keep the bloodline going. This isn't hard to understand.

But, also, I want to take a moment to point out the obnoxious level of 'this character is X and if you don't agree you're a bigot' as well as 'why do the alphabet-soup people ALWAYS have to make characters gay or trans?!'

Because I know where the upsurge in all of this came from: that interview that Aonuma gave where he was talking about 'oh, we always develop games with Link being more nonconforming to gender'.

And, of course, that should be taken as Link is more of a slate for the player to project themselves onto, no matter what gender or sexual-orientation, to create a more immersive experience.

But then we ended up with people going 'So, Link is trans then? It's canon, suck it homophobes!' And then legitimate edgelords going 'Link can't be a tranny, stop projecting onto everything!' And then there's that back and forth while rational people in the middle are just trying to live and vibe with 'In my headcanon, Link is a GNC man and Sidon has two hands and I'm happy and not bothering anyone'

So there's what was mentioned above and that animosity leaches over to conversations about Yona (people on both sides thinking that the only reason she's disliked is shipping)

Anyway, I'm just going to stay in my corner, enjoy this game at my slow-to-medium pace... And brace myself for the 'jealous wife'/'fujoshi wife' fics that will inevitably fill up the SidLink tag on AO3 because people forget that polyamory is a thing.

#Spoilers #so many spoilers #tears of the kingdom

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nerd-at-sea5 · 2 years

Text

i just wanted to take you on a date

i watched heartstopper 6x and have decided that i should write angst.

tara meets darcy’s parents because she tries to sneak into darcy’s room to take them on a date, and then there’s crying. elle can read situations better than anyone :)

(disclaimer: i am very american. these characters are very british. i apologize in advance)

they/them darcy everyone else canon

i guess this takes place after events of s1 of the show, but characters from the book (aled, oliver) are in it (mentioned) and also it would take place in vol 1 but it doesn't so i don’t really know when this is......yeah :) also also. i’m used to writing angst from the perspective of the person dealing w it (in this darcy) but instead i’m writing from tara’s view, so if it’s different..not sorry but yeah that’s why :)

cw-verbal abuse, homophobic slurs, mention of physical abuse

tara was smart.

that’s what she kept repeating over and over in her head as she hoisted herself up on the brick wall below darcy’s window and grabbed a stick to tap at it. she’s smart. she’s not going to fall. this isn’t stupid. it’s fine, just because darcy’s never invited her over or let her meet their parents doesn't mean anything. it’s fine.

three seconds later, a bleach blonde head pops out of the window, confusion, joy, panic, fright.

“tara what the fuck are you doing here!?”

she feels the smile slide off her face, the flower gripped tightly in her hand sink to the floor, “i just wanted to surprise you...”

darcy looks behind her, anxiety written all over their tapping hands and teeth biting down on their lips, “no one’s home.”

“do you want me to go home? i can call nick to drive me....”

“no, no no no-i. uh. come in?”

they extended a hand and pulled tara into their bedroom, she lay on her back for a second-staring up at a giant ‘nirvana’ poster. looking around darcy’s room-posters and drawing everywhere, an over flowing bookshelf and way to many nick-knacks, a record player was playing ‘ziggy stardust and the spiders from mars’ in the corner, and darcy was standing in front of tara, wringing their hand’s anxiously while she looked around.

she smiled and gently took darcy’s hands into her own, not knowing how else to help, “it looks like you, darcy.”

they broke into a nervous smile, eyes still flicking to the window every few seconds, and tara was beginning to get more and more confused.

“what’s going on?”

“hm? oh-nothing. wanna see a photo of me from when i was six? i loo-”

“darcy....” she kept her voice light, trying to ignore the frantic way darcy’s eyes widened when they realized tara knew exactly what they we’re doing. “you know you can talk to me, right?”

she reached out to intertwine their hands again while darcy sat down on their bed, “it’s fine, jonesy, don’t worry about me.”

“i always do, darce.”

they sighed, and glanced back at the window, eyes widening as they shot to their feet leaving tara confused and a little hurt, “darcy what the hell is-”

“get out.”

tara froze, staring at her girlfriend in shock because that voice did not belong to darcy. that voice sounded like someone else-someone terrified, barley holding themself together-either much younger or much older. and it scared the shit out of tara.

“w-what?”

darcy spun around, grabbing tara’s hand, “i said get out. get out right now.”

“no, darcy why are you-”

“TARA GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE, PLEASE!”

with a start, tara saw the tears rolling down darcy’s face, confusion and anger trying to win over each other in her stomach, silently backing up to the window and lowering herself onto the ledge.

she watched darcy retreat, but didn’t move, her phone, open to nick’s texts, she could text him. just text and ask to pick her up-take her to charlie’s. tori was smart, tori was good at advice. maybe she could help? maybe charlie or nick-even aled? issac? someone, anyone-tara stood still with her mind running over itself.

what happened to darcy?

the fear, the yelling, all of it-it wasn't them. what happened? what went wrong? what did tara do?

tara turned on the ledge and heard a door slam open, a new voice-an older mans, “are you listening to that fag again?”

“d-dad c’mon it’s just music....” darcy.

tara leaned closer, the way darcy’s voice shook with fear made her feel sick.

“i don’t give a shit. and stop dressing like that, your not a fucking boy so stop trying to be one.”

tara almost dropped her phone.

“ok, cool. can i go back to reading now?”

their words were quick, almost overlapping each other-and tara heard an exasperated sigh. “why don’t you do something useful? like study? your already failing math-”

“a d isn’t failing per say-”

“darcy olsson.”

“sorry, sorry, sorry-i’m sorry. i’m sorry-i’m sorry.”

“sorry isn’t fucking good enough-you should be sorry that i’m stuck with dealing with a spastic, sarcastic, dyke.”

that time, tara really did drop her phone, letting it hit the ground with a crack, and quickly jumped off the ledge and into the sidewalk, crouching next to her phone and hoping beyond hope that if either of them looked out the window they’d think tara had been walking by and just dropped her phone.

the sound of a window slamming and then muffled yelling jolted tara back to reality.

she sat silently next to nick the entire car ride back to her house, and looked up at him with surprise when he got out of his car.

“c’mere, ‘girl i kissed once’.” and wrapped her in a hug, “i don’t know what happened but it’ll be ok..”

tara choked back a sob, darcy’s broken tone ringing in her ears ‘i’m sorry, i’m sorry.”

--- time jump, lunch the next day ---

elle sighed, “ok. what is going on with you two? you’ve barley said a word the entire lunch, darcy-you aren’t even eating. and tara, you haven’t tried to tease me about tao, or them about not doing their work-so either i’m in another damn dimension or something is up.”

for the first time that day, tara made eye contact with darcy, who quickly avoided her gaze.

“nothing, late night. tara was up on facetime helping me with maths, must have over used up our voice boxes!” darcy’s voice was cheerful, a sharp contrast to what tara heard two days before.

all she could do was nod slowly and wish that she could change something.

walking to the last class of the day, tara sighed to herself, knowing she was either about to make a really good or really bad decision.

she stood in the hallway, pretending to get something out of her bag in front of the music room, and when she sees darcy pass, grabbed their wrist, pulled them into the room, and let the door lock them in behind her.

for a split second, it looked like darcy was about to smile and make a joke about how if tara wanted to kiss them that badly she could just say, or about how their super screwed for missing science.

instead, and what broke tara’s heart a little more-was darcy slowly sliding to the floor, tucking their knees to their chest and shaking with silent sobs when their head dropped onto their legs. “i’m so sorry.”

instantly she dropped her bag, put an arm around darcy, holding them as tight as she possibly could, trying to communicate everything through the hug.

“it’s ok, it’s ok.” tara stayed still, whispering to darcy over and over, gently kissing the top of their head and wiping away tears with her thumb.

she doesn’t know how long they sit there, when darcy stops shaking and lays their head on tara’s shoulder. “i’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“it’s ok...are you ok?”

darcy nodded slowly, and tara took their hand in their free one, “was it a one-time thing or.....” she trailed off when darcy shook their head.

“every day.”

shit.

tara swallowed and forced the next words out of her mouth-no matter how little she wanted to say them. “are they. um...like, hit-hitting you?”

darcy was silent for the count of three, and then shook their head. “no. promise.”

before tara could respond, darcy closed their eyes, shifting closer to her, “why were you at my window?”

“i...i just wanted to take you on a date.”

she saw the corners of darcy’s mouth flick up for a second before falling back, and rested her head on theirs, “stay over?”

darcy nodded into tara’s shirt. “thank you.”

#darcy olsson #tara jones #nick nelson #elle argent #taradarcy #tara x darcy #darcy x tara #hstv #heartstopper #gay in space writes #aven writes

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samanuntrakuls · 1 year

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Hi if i may join this sharing braincell experience over here!

First of all your post about serving looks thank you i feel validated finally i was watching ep with my fella that i got into the series and needed to stop every time scene changed cause how can this woman look so good each time no matter the situation it's insulting good for Mon tho but she did shortcircuit my brain this entire time.

Second that anon who talked about needing a heart to have heart disease preach both of you cause we all knew that's where they will go one way or another but seriously this isn't what Song died for. At the end fuck both grandmother and kirk even more the fact they made him being the one who set her straight not to mention the fact as you said so yourself both of them woken up after months just when wedding was around the corner, good for Sam so she didn't lost loved one at the end of the day but fuck the redemption arcs. The trio that adopted Mon + the baby later on is just insert Lady Gaga meme here everything we didn't knew we needed, deserved and more. So invested in lesbian drama that her baby almost fell out not to mention being ready to teach them step by step if heavenly water won't work you won't be able to find it anywhere else she is just THE CHARACTER. Poor Tee taking punches left and right we will never forget your sacrifice but at least she got Yuki to make it all better when she isn't busy giving lesbianism 101. Kade not being able to be there 90% of the time just hits different.

Last but not the least about if her parents knew i was laughing my ass off when she was saying goodbye before going to airport because we never got how they found out it really makes it into hilarious picture like oh your boss so nice came to make up with you but shouldn't they be concerned she makes her overwork so she stays over day after day not to mention all the tears in span of all this and at the end ship that saved us all just comes to the house like guess what we getting married and on that note so just you know we dated along the way sorry for late notice, poor Singha almost got scarred with what could have happened in That Scene.

That was a wild ride ain't it happy ep 12 for everyone we got there cheers!

yes yes and yes! like i have little to no complaints about this little show it gave me more in 12 episodes than ive gotten from wlw media in umm, ever? but grandmother needing that final push from kirk was a big bummer. like you’re telling me first of all, song dying because you’re homophobic didn’t do it? getting absolutely fucking eviscerated by our lord and savior khun neung didn’t do it? seeing sam fainting at the dinner table and crying alone every night didn’t do it? but little fucking worm on a skateboard kirk makes it click? get out of here. grandmother was very right when she said the best thing she could do for sam was die.

and god That Scene. it is so funny to me that they were so nervous to fuck because they had basically been doing it for 3 entire episodes. im gonna miss them so much they’re so stupid but now they’re married and get to continue to be stupid together forever and that is so beautiful

#ask #gap the series spoilers

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vroomdoom · 5 months

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I don't know but so many thoughts running around rn

So I grew up not very religious, but I liked the idea of a man upstairs that would listen to me and love me no matter what. When I went through the foster care systems and went to many houses, I had my fair share of religious families and ended up becoming somewhat religious along the way, one thing I never leaned into was the hatred and hurt of religion, I didn't even knew it existed. I used to think that I had full on conversations with god or Jesus, but looking back I was probably just answering the thoughts in my head how I thought they would. Around a certain time, I became more aware of sexuality and its fluidity and was very excited, I had never felt attraction to exclusively one gender or group of people, so I thought it was nice that how I felt had a name and even a community.Although, only then did I begin to notice the hatred between religion and anything near orientation regarding sexuality or gender or anything like that. And I know that it's not all hate, but my family is very religious, especially my older sister (I have a very strained relationship with her) and I began to understand their homophobic remarks and unnecessary comments on people of the lgbtq community, and it hurt. I had never planned to come out to my parents or family ever, it was not something that I felt I owned to anyone. I still don't think I do, but when my older sister had gone through my phone and found my account on an lgbtq support website, everything regarding both religion and identity took a dive.She immediately told me what a sin it was, how I was confused, how she was going to take me to a church camp thingy, and to see a priest. That night she cornered me in my bed with what she probably thought was sympathy and help, was the night I felt my heart torn to pieces, one of the many times my family had done so. I felt so complicated internally and confused, the priest had been understanding and this may upset some, but did not condemn me for being apart of the lgbtq. He gave me a different insight but it didn't feel enough. I now felt as if my relationship with god or Jesus was now torn, and that I no longer had the right to pray or even pretend to be religious, and even now when I see videos of people explaining why people like me couldn't exactly be completely right with god and be who they are, at least not by the Bible or his word I think. Even typing this brings a ache to my heart and makes me want to give up on life itself and cry, I see people who have came to peace with both and aspire to be like them in a way. I still am very conflicted when it come to the two, but I have nothing more but to hope that I can grow to be different then how I am, to be better and feel better as a what I am. A human.

#religious trauma #religious freedom #lgbtq community #lgbt pride

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alanshee-keeper-of-realms · 1 year

Note

Dang, I didn't even know there was a fandom for Ninjago on Tumblr. There is one for Twitter, TikTok, and YouTube and it's toxic there as someone who has shifted away from the fandom in 2019, seeing all these dramas happening over plastic little bricks is utterly insane, the last time there was a drama it because of homophobic users on twitter that said something about how heterosexuality makes the show better which goes to show there is ALSO a concerning amount of lacking media literacy in this fandom who ONLY cares about the ships in the show and NOT for the story 🤷🏽‍♀️ and I didn't know there is heat happening on Tumblr. This fandom never changed its way, huh? Most of the people who switched fandoms were people over 15+ who wants to be in a fandom that's solely a safe space for marginalized groups. I don't blame people for leaving this fandom. Hopefully OP, you do find a fandom where you actually feel safe and belong and I'm sorry to hear that YOU'VE been getting harsh treatment by the community :( you deserve so much better than this. I recommend checking out The Owl House fandom and the show itself, as someone who is in it, I think you might like it there more than the fandom you've left.

I have actually been hiding out in the Owl House fandom on my other account and honestly I really do not want to leave this page so I have made a decision after 2 weeks I have decided to come back to this page and completely redo it, but you know what I'm not ashamed about my posts before

Take that as that is what trauma does to a person and only a coward would delete the evidence of that damage. I wasn't thinking clearly at all

In the end I'm just here trying to create stuff for other people to enjoy and I appreciate the anonymous folks that are clearly outside the Ninjago fandom who have encouraged me not to abandon this page, while I will occasionally do things, I will not be the same as I once was with it,completely loyal to a fault.

My time with the Ninjago fandom is a majority over with this post. I say it to you, and the other Anon, which I will respond to, have really helped me realize how toxic the fandom has become.

But it's hard for ones founding member to leave what they once helped to create and watched grow for over 12 years

If you didn't know that about me, I was around for the original days. I was around online from 2013 onwards.... I was making fanfic. I was interacting I was creating art even! Not very much, but I would, I would post, and I would do everything to help bring it to life, to support this little show I used to love with everything I had,

But the fandom and its inhabitants took that away from me... took that love and support that I once wanted to give to this fandom and threw it back, and showed me they really never cared for my effort, so in the end all I got was nothing and that's evidenced by these past few years.

So with a heavy heart I do say a majority of my days in the Ninjago fandom are done.

This decision also came as I again have been getting into the Owl House fandom and found more support than I have ever felt from Ninjago in a long long time.

It didn't take them long at all to bring me in amongst their group.... as long as I keep my tags appropriate and stuff to my corner I've already found that I can be as weird as I want to be,

Again, something I used to be able to do in the Ninjago fandom before I recently realized I became afraid of it, afraid of losing everything from it

How is that right because I don't think it is okay, and it never will be. And the sad factor is I know I'm not alone due to all of these anons. I've had more than a couple that I can tell that they were former Ninjago fans

Maybe the fandom needs to look at itself and realize it's killing itself. It's like a cancer festering and eating away at it until there is nothing left but insanity and hatred

Perhaps they have already reached this point.

And that thought about makes me cry that's how much I loved that fandom but as the saying goes if you love something

Let It Go

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fruitcoops · 2 years

Text

Tiktok Trend: Black Sheep

This is entirely based off this tiktok, which has been bouncing around in my head for about a week and always makes me laugh. Andromeda's been mentioned a couple times in some older fics, but I thought it might be fun to finally introduce her! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, as always <3

TW for mentioned racist/ sexist/ homophobic family members and disownment (in a joking way)

“Sirius!” Andromeda called over her shoulder as she scrolled through the literal thousands of comments for her favorites, popping her gum at her cousin when he poked his head around the corner.

Sirius pulled a face right back at her. “What?”

“You’re stealing my spotlight again.”

“You don’t like the spotlight.”

Andromeda raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry, which of us was the first to be deemed a family disappointment based on their choice in partner?”

Sirius rolled his eyes with a huff and padded over to the couch, leaning his elbows behind her head to see the phone screen. “What did I do this time?”

They had filmed the video as a bit of a joke, not intending for anyone to see it—Andromeda only had twenty followers on TikTok at the time, and she was pretty sure half of them were bots. When your racist/ sexist/ homophobic family members start getting a little too comfortable at Thanksgiving dinner, read curly script across the top of the screen as Eminem’s Without Me played in the background.

Andromeda stepped into frame a moment later, walking past the camera in slow motion with a smirk and a casual flip of her hair. The black dress was one of her favorites, knee-length with a slightly low-cut bodice; her mother used to say it looked ‘slutty’ and ‘debasing’, which obviously meant she wore it on every possible occasion. The cousin that married ‘below her class’ was written in the same cursive lettering at her side.

Sirius followed in her footsteps, a devious smile on his face as he adjusted his rainbow tie and slid his wedding ring on. The gay cousin signed to the family’s rival team who they can’t get rid of because the disownment papers are still processing sat happily in a text box by his head as he passed the camera as well.

And then came Regulus, wearing a cocky grin that Andromeda had only seen blossom over the past year. He shook out his suit cuffs and straightened the purple-gray flag pin on his lapel, then stuck his hands in his pockets and strolled past as the cousin that dropped out of the NHL to go to college and made sure the bloodline ended with him stood stark white against the bushes in front of Sirius’ house.

None of them had actually gone to the annual holiday dinner hosted at Sirius’ parents house, of course, but it was the thought that counted. They had made the video for a laugh before heading off to Dumo’s; when Andromeda returned to her phone eight hours later, the video had 200,000 views and just over 40,000 likes.

She craned her neck back to look at Sirius as he laughed at the replay. “Read these fucking comments, you fame thief.”

Lionsfan89: HELLO??? IS THAT SIRIUS BLACK???

mandomallow: First of all ma’am please stomp on me second of all are you aware you have TWO famous hockey players in your driveway

LupinLover3: THAT’S SIRIUS FUCKING BLACK WTFFFF WHO ARE YOU LADY

tromblerone: Are we just ignoring the fact that Sirius and Regulus Black are making tiktoks with random ppl now :sobbing emoji:

nhl4days: Oh my god Regulus looks so happy stop I’m gonna cry

merqueen15: I litcherally have no words imagine being related to THEE Sirius Black couldn’t be me

21macattack: There are too many hot people in this video pls have mercy

bibibiboba: If being sexy is a gene this family has all of it and honestly I can’t even complain

lemonsqueezy8437: LMAOO CAN YOU IMAGINE ROLLING UP TO FAMILY THANKSGIVING AND SIRIUS AND REGULUS BLACK ARE SITTING AT THE TABLE WITH YOU

lillyofthevallley: How many people did that family kick out oh my god???? Also drop the skincare routine queen you’re GLOWING

Dozens more comments focused specifically on Andromeda—the vain little part of her heart appreciated the ones that asked for her curl routine—but she couldn’t quite get over the fact that all it took to bump her follower count to over twenty thousand people (and counting) was her geeky baby cousins.

“Hey.” She poked Sirius’ arm as he reached over her head to scroll through the comments, giggling to himself. “Hey. I’m the hot one, remember?”

“Tell that to your followers, Andy. Reg! Get in here!”

“What?” a distant voice called.

“Andy’s TikTok famous!”

There was barely half a second pause before footsteps came pounding up the stairs with all the grace one would expect from a 20-year-old college student. “How the hell did you get TikTok famous?” he asked, perching on the back of the couch like some rumpled bird.

She cocked a brow. “Remember that video from Thanksgiving?”

“Ouais.”

“You and your stupid brother are stealing my fans.”

Sirius flicked her forehead lightly and she batted him away. “Hey, we gave you those fans.”

“I’m going to post all of your embarrassing baby pictures in my next video,” she threatened around a smile with a playful kick to his pajama-clad thigh as he skirted around her to go back to the kitchen. “All of them! Oldest cousin privilege!”

First, though, she had a curl-care process to film.

#andromeda tonks #andromeda black #sirius black #sweater weather #vaincre #lumosinlove #my fic #tiktok trend #family dinner #cousins #regulus black

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albed-hoe · 3 years

Note

Can I request a story of Diluc and a bullied male reader in a modern AU?

I Deserve It

Characters: Diluc x Male Reader (Modern AU)

Summary: Diluc admires you from afar, until one day he decides to step in on a situation gone a little too far

Warnings: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE AND HOMOPHOBIC SLURS

Word count: 1045

A/n: This feels kinda rushed cuz I didn’t want to do my usual ~2000 word ramble, I also wrote this all in one go at midnight cuz it’s my FIRST REQUEST AHHHH tysm for requesting!!! I am already getting more requests as I type so I hope you enjoy this little fic! (Thinking of maybe doing a part 2? Idk🤔)

Also this may or may not be slightly based off my personal experience…😳

It’s 8:15 as you make your way through the front doors of school. Half an hour early for class, but at least you avoid the usual torment, and you get to finish any work you couldn’t before. You make your way to your secret corner of the library and plug in your earphones to finish some homework you forgot to do last night. The usual quiet bustle of the library as others file in to read, talk to friends or do the same as you, paired with your music on a low volume is somehow quite relaxing.

You check the time – 8:40, five minutes until class. You leave it as late as possible to avoid the usual treatment that you will probably end up getting anyways, later in the day. This morning, however, goes without any altercation. You make your way to your seat (in the back corner of the class) and get ready for another boring class. As the teacher rambles on about whatever subject, you can’t help but let your mind drift to the boy sitting near the front of the class. He was handsome – strikingly so – but you were aware of the rumors about his personality. You witnessed it firsthand too, the way he would flatly reject any girls that asked him out and his stoic expression which never seemed to change.

It would seem you got a little too distracted, as the bell rang, startling you into putting your stuff back in your bag for your next class. The rest of the day was filled with dreading the end of it, and perhaps a couple thoughts of the redhead in your year. As you made your way to your locker at the end of the day to organize the books you would take home, you suddenly tripped over a foot that seemed to have come out of nowhere. Sending all the books you carried in your arms across the hallway, you fell to the ground on your hands and knees, probably bruising your kneecaps badly. You didn’t even bother turning around to see the culprit – you already knew who it was. Thankfully the hallways weren’t too full of other students.

“Hey, [Y/N], how come you’re here today, I’d have thought you would have killed yourself yesterday.” Said your bully, the rest of his group laughing behind him. “In any case, I think you should. Would do us a great service!” They all laughed again in unison as you were gathering your items. You didn’t even bother crying anymore, you were used to the insults anyways. They got kind of dry after a while, could they not even think of new ones to come up with?

“I already told you.” He grabbed you by the collar and lifted you off the ground, holding you close to his face. “People like you have no place in this world. Fucking fa-“

“Enough.” You heard a deep voice call from behind you. The bully suddenly dropped you to the ground and put on a smug face as he looked towards the person who had saved you.

“What are you gonna do about Diluc? You like boys too? I bet you’re just trying to defend your little boyfriend here.” He taunted the redhead, who showed no signs of interest or… Any emotion really. You finished gathering the last of your books as you heard this ‘Diluc’ boy mutter something about how the bully’s group wouldn’t really think highly of some sort of secret he had. This seemed to make them leave fast enough. As you stood up, he turned to you and your [E/C] eyes met with his bright amber ones for a split second before you averted them downwards.

“You are [Y/N], correct?” he questioned you.

“Y-Yes, thank you for helping me, Diluc.” You mumbled, before turning on your heels and almost running out of the school to go home. You didn’t even spare another glance back at the fleeting form of a rather sad looking boy.

As days went by, things began improving for you a little bit, it seemed that whenever you were expecting another beating from the group of bullies, you could swear you saw a flash of red hair somewhere amongst the crowd in the hallway. Perhaps a guardian angel had finally answered your prayers and was manifesting itself in the form of a bright red ponytail.

You were currently in your corner of the library during lunch break, as you would usually do, reading your favorite book with your earphones in. You didn’t happen to notice the unusual imposing presence which was standing just across from your table. When you became a little more aware of your surroundings, you took in the person towering over you, making you drop your book and tear out your earphones.

“D-Diluc! How did you know I was here?”

“I heard from someone you like to spend your free time here. I thought I might come to… Apologize.”

“Apologize? What for?” the boy looked away from you with a slight red hue across his cheeks, which genuinely surprised you. He did, in fact, show emotions.

“I- I’m sorry for scaring you the other day, it was not my intention. I was simply trying to-“

“NO!” the redhead snapped his gaze back to you in surprise. “I- I mean… I should be the one apologizing, I thought the rumors about you were true, but they were very clearly wrong.”

“I see… That’s a relief…” You sat there in awkward silence as he kept avoiding your gaze and you twisted your fingers in discomfort.

“I should probably go. Thank you again for the other day, you don’t need to-“

“Wait!” he grabbed your wrist as you stood up to leave. “P-Please be my friend, I don’t have… Any.” He muttered, still embarrassed by his earlier apology.

The rather shy nature of the rumored bad boy made you smile a little bit for the first time in what seemed like years. You looked into his eyes giving him your genuine smile. “Hehe, alright. I’ll be your friend. I hope you can be mine too!” You didn’t seem to notice the darkening of his already-present blush as he stared at your smile, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape.

Don't really know if I'm doing this Tumblr thing right lolol I'm used to using Wattpad. Also please know that you are loved and are worth everything to many people. If you do ever feel low, please talk to someone about it. I love you all, stay safe❤

#genshin x male reader #genshin impact x male reader #diluc x y/n #diluc x male reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #diluc x reader

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