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#I hope you like I have been working on this literally all day and I am kinda proud kjdghskdjgh I've gotten attached to this au
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A chance encounter
Words: 1,732 [also on AO3]
Rated: E
Tags: No UD AU; Future fic; Record label owner Eddie; Waiter Steve; Eddie Munson has a crush on Steve Harrington; Blood and violence; Prostitution (implied); Attempted non-con; Homophobic language; Steve Harrington whump; Eddie Munson whump; Protective Eddie Munson; Protective Steve Harrington
Notes: Happy birthday, @house-of-the-moving-image! I hope you have the most wonderful of days. I'm so happy to have found you as a friend and partner in crime. Hope you enjoy your extra long chunk of Upside Diner, even though it turned out quite gritty for a birthday fic. 😅💕🛼
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Eddie grumbles under his breath as he locks the office door and steps out into the dark street. 
Don’t get him wrong, he loves his job. Hellfire Records is his baby. Making music, working with all sorts of different artists and bands, helping them make a name for themselves - it’s everything he ever wanted and never thought he could have growing up in the smalltown hell of Hawkins, Indiana. 
What he doesn’t love is the meetings and the paperwork and the phone calls, especially on days like this, when it all drags on until well into the night. 
The echoes of his boots bounce off the empty streets as he makes his way towards the little diner at the corner. Checking his wristwatch, he swears again. Fuck, it’s even later than he thought. What if Steve’s shift is already over? The thought makes his stomach clench with an unpleasant feeling that distinctly feels like disappointment. The realization makes him pause and furrow his brow. 
Maybe it’s a little bit pathetic, how quickly his visits to the diner have become the highlight of his day. Maybe it’s a little bit weird that he hasn’t had dinner anywhere else in literal weeks. Maybe it’s a little bit creepy, this obsession with a boy he knew fleetingly in highschool. An obsession that makes him come by every single day after work, without fail, just to chew on soggy fries and greasy burgers and watch said boy waiting tables, gliding around like an angel in chunky roller skates and stupidly short shorts. 
Maybe he has a problem. 
And maybe he doesn’t care. 
Because for all his initial reluctance and bite, Steve has actually started coming around. Has been accepting Eddie’s money and attempts at conversation with barely a complaint. Has even stopped asking why Eddie keeps ordering way too much food for one person alone, taking the leftovers behind his counter to munch on. Hell, last week when Eddie came in, he even looked up from the order he was taking and flashed him a wave and smile. Eddie rode that high all night and well into the next day. 
It’s the memory of that smile that makes him pick up his steps. Maybe, if he’s lucky, he’ll catch Steve at the tail end of his shift and convince him to stay around for a little longer. 
The diner is empty, except for a lone person in uniform wiping down tables behind the neon-lit window pane. It isn’t Steve. Eddie spares one glance at the bored-looking girl and turns away with an annoyed groan. That’s it, he thinks, pulling his headphones from his pocket and slamming them on with a little more force than strictly necessary. Tonight officially sucks. Time to go home and fix himself some SpaghettiOs, turn on a late night show and fall asleep in front of the- 
For the rest of his life, he’ll thank fate for making him fumble with his discman. Because if he’d hit the play button a second earlier, he would never have heard the voices. But this way, he does, and this way, he halts his steps, peering into the narrow side alley with a wrinkled brow. The light of the streetlamps only reaches so far, and everything he can see are the dumpsters and old cardboard boxes at its entrance. Beyond them, everything is dark. 
“Dude, get your hands off me, I said no.” 
Steve.
Eddie is halfway around the dumpsters before he even knows it, heart beating in his ribcage like a jackhammer. The alley reeks of piss and rotting garbage. At its far end, almost hidden behind another dumpster, are two figures. Eddie can’t make out their faces, but he also doesn’t need to. The colorful uniform is unmistakable, even in the murky half-light, even though it’s paired with a pair of sneakers rather than roller skates. And besides, he’d know that ridiculously floofy hairdo anywhere. 
He doesn’t know the other man. Only knows that the guy's hands are grabbing Steve’s arms and shoulders hard enough to leave marks as he attempts to wrestle him to his knees. 
“C’mon, don’t be like that,” the man hisses just as Eddie rounds the dumpster. “I’ll make it quick.” 
“Are you deaf or stupid?” Steve sneers, trying to struggle out of his hold. “I said get your fucking hands off me.” 
The man slaps him across the face. Steve makes a pained noise and loses his balance, going down on his knees on the dirty ground. 
The man laughs, curt and mean.
“There you go,” he coos. One of his hands grabs a fist full of chestnut hair while the other reaches for the half-undone fly of his pants. “Now be a good little slut and-” 
The force of the impact sends the discman tumbling from Eddie’s pocket. It shatters on the ground somewhere, parts flying in all directions, but he doesn’t have eyes for it. Instead, he grabs the asshole by the lapels of his cheap suit and hauls him against the nearest wall. The back of the asshole’s head hits the bricks, and Eddie thinks he hears something crack. Good. 
“Eddie?” 
While the man sags against the wall, groaning and cradling his head, Eddie whirls on Steve. Steve, who's just swaying to his feet, eyes wide and shocked. His cheek is flushed and starting to bruise. 
“Shit,” Eddie swears. “Are you-” 
Pain explodes inside his skull, sudden and all consuming. He stumbles, trying to keep his footing and cracks his head on the hard metal edge of the dumpster in the process. He manages to blink the stars from his vision just in time to see the man's fist flying at him. The blow makes his ears ring and copper flood his mouth, and when he regains his senses, he's on the ground with two hands closing around his throat. 
“Thought you'd play the hero, huh?” The man's grin is a manic grimace. A glob of spit hits Eddie’s cheek. “Well, how'd that work out for you, you stupid little-” 
“Hey, shitface!” 
The man snarls and turns. Eddie doesn’t see what happens, just knows that something goes crunch and suddenly the hands pressing down on his windpipe are gone. The man's voice turns into a high-pitched wail of pain. 
Eddie rolls around, coughing and gasping for air, and props himself up on his elbows. The man has shrunk against the next wall, clutching at his face. Crimson blood is bubbling out from between his fingers, hitting the alley floor in a steady pattern of drips. 
“Fuck off,” Steve says and lowers the hand holding the roller skate. His voice is deadly calm, his face steely. “Remember to put away your dick first.” 
The guy stares at him. Steve raises the roller skate again, just a little. The asshole whimpers and scrambles upright, mumbling something to himself. Eddie thinks he catches something about fucking lunatic fags, but he can't be sure, what with the way his voice comes out all wet and garbled. And then he's gone, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste to get away.
Steve drops the roller skate. 
“Fuck,” be whispers, crouching down next to Eddie and brushing hesitant fingers over his split lip. Ten minutes ago, Eddie would’ve given anything to feel those hands on his face, but now he winces and recoils at the sting of pain. 
Steve retracts his hand, flopping down on the ground with a heavy sigh. The shorts ride up with the movement, exposing strong, muscled thighs. His knees are scraped from hitting the asphalt, little droplets of blood beading on the torn skin. 
“What’d you go and do that for?” Steve asks, scrubbing a hand down his face. All of the steel is gone from his voice. He sounds tired instead, infinitely tired. “I had it under control.” 
Eddie can’t help it, he barks a laugh. “Oh, did you, big boy? When was that, exactly? When he backhanded you? Or when he had you by the hair and was about to shove his cock down your-”
“Yeah, well, I’m not the one who got punched and choked half to death!” Steve snaps. 
Eddie opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it again. The boy has a point, sort of. He doesn’t need a mirror to tell which one of them is looking the worse for wear right now, not with the white-hot pain still throbbing through his face with every heartbeat. 
“He didn’t choke me half to death,” he mutters lamely. Steve huffs a humorless laugh. 
“Thanks, anyway,” he then says. It comes out so quietly that Eddie nearly misses it, and when he looks up, Steve has averted his eyes. Eddie has an acute flashback to their first meeting at the diner, when Steve reluctantly accepted his tip money. “Could’ve gone a lot worse if you hadn’t shown up.” 
Eddie feels his mouth tug into a grin, even though his lip stings like an entire beehive. 
“Anytime, Stevie. Now c’mon, let’s get outtaaaaah, shit.” 
Trying to stand is a bad idea. The moment he’s upright, another firework of pain goes off behind his temples and the ground tilts out from under him. The only thing that saves him from going right down again is Steve jumping to his feet and looping one of Eddie’s arms around his shoulders. 
“Shit, he got you good,” he mutters. Eddie can only hum in agreement, too preoccupied with keeping the meager contents of his stomach down. “We should probably get you somewhere with a first aid kit at least.” 
“‘s okay,” Eddie slurs, inadvertently leaning closer into Steve’s warmth. He smells of shampoo and frying fat and blood. “I’ll be fine, I live nearby.” 
Steve’s eyes flit over his face, then off to the side, then back to his face again. He licks his lips and even in his dazed state, Eddie can clearly see how he wars with himself. Finally, he gulps and straightens his spine. 
“Okay,” he says, adjusting Eddie’s weight on his shoulders. “Let’s go then.” 
It’s weird, Eddie thinks as they start to hobble their way down the dark street. He must’ve fantasized a thousand times about taking Steve Harrington home, but never once did he think it’d play out like this. Then again, things in his life rarely go as he imagines, so he supposes he’s just gonna roll with it.
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Tag list: @grtwdsmwhr @p0lybl4nkk @fairytalesreality @colidamae @dissociatingdemon
@steddhie @formosusiniquis @steddiehasmywholeheart @ellaelsinore @rozzieroos
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pbueckerslover · 2 days
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azzi fudd gf head canons ・❥・
pairing(s): azzi fudd x female!reader
warnings: nothing but fluff !
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-loves when you wear her jersey or any uconn merch to show support
-so touchy 🫠🫠 like she always has to have her hands on you in some way
-knows that you love her muscles so she’ll purposely wear tanks or anything that will show them off
-will take pictures of you anytime she thinks you look cute and they’re going into her favorites folder immediately
-literally worships the ground you walk on like she’s just so fucking obsessed with you
-alone time with you is her favorite thing ever especially after a long day all she wants to do is just come home and be with her girl
-tells you how much she hates posting on socials but she’ll always post for your bday/anniversaries or anytime she just wants to show you off
-loves when you offer to do her hair for her bc she knows you actually enjoy it
-loves to take you out on dates any chance she can get
-but she also loves staying in with you and watching a movie and she’ll even make you your favorite meal
-you’re so supportive of everything she does and will always be next to her to cheer her on
-loves seeing you in the crowd at games and it will immediately bring a smile to her face
-big spoon!! she just loves holding you in her arms and cuddling with you
-always has you as her plus one for every event she goes to
-brags about you to her teammates
“i love my girlfriend so much, she’s actually the love of my life.”
-supports everything you do and will always make sure you know that
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⇾ be sure to checkout my masterlist if you enjoyed!
⇾ i hope you guys like these!! i’ve really been wanting to write something for azzi bc that’s wifey!!!! been working on a paige fic so expect something soon!! love y’all 💌💌
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bellasprettywords · 3 days
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Ok, i totally understand that you get a lot of requests but i literally couldn’t live without asking…Could you do a part two to the spencer reid loml fic where he goes to san francisco and makes up with the reader? Tysm 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
(btw so high school is my fav fic ever i love it sm)
Hi love!! Thank you so so so much for your kind words; I hope this is to your liking, because I wanted to keep the angsty mood long enough to answer the questions from the first part; but ending with a little fluff
Btw, I have a pendidng Hotch request I'm currently working on, so I wanted to remind you that requests are always open🥰
y/n – your name
Warnings: A little angst, bad words and just Sad Boy Spence with a sprinkle of fluff at the end
Word count: 6,395 (is bc there are emojis)
My Masterlist
Almost a month had gone by since you left the BAU in Quantico; and even if you tried to see the bright side of things, since Spencer had called off your engagement, life felt like walking around with a hole pierced where your heart used to be. Although, it is important to note, things for Spencer weren’t much better on the other side of the country.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Reid, but I think you should really consider taking some time off work” Emily told Spencer as they were exiting the jet recently landed jet
“I’m alright Prentiss, what happened in the field won’t happen ever again” Spencer scoffed, almost sounding petulant, and exhausted after days with little to no sleep and a complicated case that took an enormous toll on him
“This is not a question Reid, you put your life, the victim’s and your team’s life on the line for what? Because you had a hunch? I’m sorry but in this line of work you can’t just risk it all just because you think so, and you should know that, specially by now” Emily replied, this time with a firm tone that send a shiver trough Spencer’s back; he knew Emily was right, but he really couldn’t admit it, even to himself, that the past month had been hell on earth without you
“I… I’m sorry, I was so sure I could catch the unsub” Spencer tried arguing, but he knew no matter what he said, Emily was right, his head wasn’t in the right place and he ended up jeopardizing the case, and almost letting the unsub walk freely
“I’ll take advantage of the gunshot you received to have you on medical leave for at least two weeks, and hopefully when you come back, your head is clear and you’ll stop doing rookie mistakes” Emily said, trying her best to gift Spencer a compassionate smile
“Alright boss, see you in a fortnight” Spencer said, with a forced smile carrying his go bag, ready to go home; except that, home wasn’t home anymore. “Home” was room 313 of a crappy hotel; even if the mortgage payments for the apartment you two used to share were currently being taken off his bank account. Spencer Reid did not have the heart to step into the apartment he had impulsively bought hoping you’d come back to him.
When Spencer thought about coming home, all he could think about was coming back to you. Your soft embrace, your sparkling eyes, and the way you had to make life better just by being present. Until this day, Spencer could not understand, nor explain, the effect you had on people: you were like a ray of sunlight after a week of rain; whenever he thought of you, he got the same excitement you get when the first flowers of the spring start blooming. Even if he wanted to be stubborn and hold on to his decision of breaking off the engagement, it took every fiber of his being to not drive his car all the way to San Francisco to get you back. But then again, his logical side kicked in and reminded him of all the reasons you couldn’t be together:
He was way older than you, Spencer Reid was convinced that the eight-year difference would take a toll on the relationship, sooner or later
He knew schizophrenia was almost likely to be hereditary, and he didn’t want to put you thought the hell he lived with his mom when he was younger
Your career was just taking off at the FBI, while his was somehow was marked permanently by his time in prison and more than a couple of disciplinary issues; and he wanted nothing to do with your reputation being stained by associating with him
While you were a hell of a profiler, after years at the BAU he knew what the job could do to you, and he did not want to risk you losing your spark with all the trauma the job inflicted
Every single person he has ever loved ended up either death, kidnapped or extremely harmed by being close to him. This was a particularly painful reason, especially because he is not a man of faith, but sometimes, late at night Doctor Spencer Reid wonders if he’s somehow the victim of a prophecy, or a cruel joke of fate considering every single person he has ever loved suffers when they’re around him; and of course, he could not let you suffer, nor put you in any danger because of his ill luck
Sure, whenever he thought of these reasons he called bullshit on himself, but at the end of the day, the decision was made, and you were perfectly safe from him (and his curse) at the other side of the country.
Since the day he called off the engagement, Spencer felt that he was living his life in autopilot. Most of the time, he wasn’t even present at the moment because he was too immersed into his own head, spinning and replaying the dreadful day he broke your heart; which ended up with him making huge mistakes at work, and disappointing René Descartes: as he was not thinking.
Without even noticing, he arrived into his hotel room, sighted, and decided he was too tired to even eat, so he just went to bed.
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After a couple of days of bed rotting, Spencer received an unexpected knock on his hotel door, and it was his dear friend Penelope Garcia.
“How are we doing, boy genius?” the bubbly blonde asked as she came into the messy hotel room. Spencer was known to be a pretty organized person, some would even dare to say he had a small OCD, but from the state of this hotel room, Penelope was both perplexed and alarmed
“I guess you heard about my medical leave” Spencer said taking a seat on the bed with a voice that almost sounded like a grunt
“Yeah… I was pretty surprised when you didn’t show up to the jet, I mean, I knew the injury of the bullet you took in Arkansas wasn’t that devastating” she said, clearly nervous about the topic
“The bullet just grazed my shoulder, I really didn’t need the medical leave” Spencer scoffed rolling his eyes, “So why are you here? Prentiss send you to check up on me?” the young Doctor said facing his friend
“I was just… worried about you… I know… I know things have been difficult since y/n left Virginia” Penelope said, almost rambling, and worried that her words would shake up Spencer.
Everyone at the BAU, knew Spencer Reid was a yapper, nonetheless and since he came back from prison, it was like something inside Spencer died. He was still a genius who held on his mind almost every single piece of information he has ever read, or learn, but something was totally different. He stopped his rambles, he became more reserved, and he built these walls around him and his personal life. Of course, some of this changed when he was with you, once again he had opened up his heart to trust, and his old friends like García, Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss sometimes even felt like they could catch a glimpse of the old Spencer Reid. Unfortunately, Spencer went back to his avoiding and reserved ways once you left the BAU; it almost seemed like you left, and took his heart with you.
“I’m alright, the wound is healing properly, and soon I’ll be back on the field” Spencer rushed to answer, avoiding commenting on you
“What’s wrong with you, Spence?” Penelope dared to ask directly seeing how avoidant he had been lately
“Nothing’s wrong, okay? Prentiss is just exaggerating, and that’s why she made me leave” Spencer said, rolling his eyes at his concerned friend
“You are one of my closest friends, I even dare to call you family Spence, and I know when something is wrong with my family” Penelope said taking a step closer to Spencer “I’ve been giving you your space with the whole y/n situation, I even refrained from asking the juicy details, but something is seriously wrong if you are running toward the unsubs, taking bullets just because, and pushing away the people who care about you” Penelope said, and Spencer realized how much of an ass he was being to his friends, but of course, he knew this was nowhere close to how much of an ass he had been towards you
“I fucked up” Spencer said with a strain of voice, as his eyes were covered by a soft mist of tears
“I know you did Spence, but you can make things better” Penelope said holding her friend in her arms as he silently cried over her shoulder
“y/n hates me… I… I screwed thing up and there’s no coming back from there” Spencer cried as Penelope streaked his hair reassuringly
“I’m sure y/n doesn’t hate you” she said after a pause “Whatever happened between the two of you was probably a misunderstanding that can be resolved” Penelope added with a string of hope on her voice. Nobody knew exactly what had gone on between the two of you; one day you were happily engaged, and the next Monday you had asked for your transfer to the other side of the country, with no explanation or goodbyes
“I… I got scared… I just love y/n so much I didn’t want to drag her down with me. I know I’m screwed up, and complicated to deal with… Also… It may sound stupid, but you know how every single person I’ve loved either dies or leaves? I was so scared out of my mind that something horrible would happen to her, I decided to end the engagement right there on the spot” Spencer admitted put loud for the first time, as tears rolled down his cheeks “You know the worst part? When y/n left town I even bought our apartment, just in case that she wanted to come back, but as days go back, I guess her decision was final, and she’s not coming back” Spencer continued his rant
“I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but I’ve kept tabs on her, since she left Virginia” Penelope said and Spencer’s eyes lit up at the possibility of learning something about you and your whereabouts
“Is she okay? Is she happy? How’s she doing in San Francisco?” Spencer rushed to ask, eager with anticipation
“She’s okay, she’s mostly working with children victims of human trafficking, so he’s been really busy, but overall her performance is alright” Penelope said, debating internally of she should give Spencer the envelope with your information she was caring on her purse
“y/n always enjoyed working with children” Spencer said with a small smile forming into his lips as the image of you popped on his head. He could see you, smiling brightly after solving the pieces that made the cases, the way you’d sight in relief after catching an unsub, and how dedicated you were to your work, he was so proud of you that the thought of you killing it on your new job made his heart flutter with excitement, but ache because the prospect of you coming back, somehow became even more distant
“I… there’s something else… she’s seen somebody new” Penelope said, and Spencer’s heart shattered at the idea of you with someone else. He could barely manage to stand, as his knees grew weak and his throat suddenly got dry “She’s dating an Assistant District Attorney, it’s something fairly new but I thought you should know” the blonde added, deciding she was going to facilitate Spencer all the information she had on you
“I hope he treats her right” Spencer said with a strain of voice as Penelope handed him the envelope she retrieved from her purse
“This is all the info I’ve gathered on y/n, I don’t know what you should do, but I… I hate seeing you like this, and honestly, the two of you were so happy together. I don’t know what happened or of it’s salvageable, but I know in my heart you love her, and she loves you, even if she’s forcing herself to move on, so just… follow your heart Reid, I know it’s hard and scary, but I promise you it’s worth it” Penelope said, cupping her friend’s cheek on her hand
“I don’t know what to say, I mean, of course I love her, but because I love her I have to let her go, I’m dangerous for her” Spencer said, with his eyes lingering from the envelope to his friend
“If that’s your final say, it’s okay, I brought this here for you, so I’m leaving it whether you want it or not, but please Spencer, I need you back, the whole team needs you” Penelope said cupping her friend’s cheek as she left the hotel room, leaving Reid with a messy web of thoughts that revolved around you.
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Another couple of days went by since Penelope’s visit, Spencer still hadn’t peaked through the envelope, but he was burning with anticipation to do so.
Spencer decided that he would make the best of this time off, and he could visit his mother. He bought a plane ticked for that same day, packed a bag with the envelope Penelope had left behind, and without letting anyone know, he left for Las Vegas, to see the only human being who could understand what he was going through.
“Hi mom” Spencer said entering the common room of the sanatorium Diana was on
“Spencer! How are you my honey” Diana greeted him with a warm hug, which he gladly accepted
“It’s been quite a while, but I’m alright” Spencer said, trying to hide the sadness on his eyes with a forced smile
“You should know better than to lie to your mother” Diana said, reading right through Spencer’s expression
“Everything’s messy mom, I… I broke off the engagement with y/n” Spencer spilled embarrassed of the whole situation, but confident his mom would have something wise to say
“You remember Mr. Knightley’s love confession to Emma?” Diana asked with a furrowed brow after a long pause, to take in her son’s words
“I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me. I have blamed you, and lectured you, and you have borne it as no other woman in England would have borne it.” Spencer recited by heart; after all, he had read that novel at least ten times as it was your favorite. You didn’t know this, but the reason Spencer kept rereading the novel was to take inspiration and make references only for you and a handful of Jane Austen fans could catch in your wedding vows
“That’s right my brilliant boy, you want to know why those simple words have so much impact?” Diana said, getting ready to lecture her son in both literature, and love “Because when you love someone so much, it doesn’t matter how many layers and walls they build, at the end you know the right way to unfold them. As well, loving someone isn’t just loving when it’s easy, or when it seems right, it also means holding on through tick, thin, fears, complications and messiness. May I add, words are unnecesary when there is so much love in between” Diana said offering her son a kind smile
“I don’t think she can forgive me, mom, I really screwed up this time… I’m sure she thinks I don’t love her, damn, I wouldn’t be surprised if she thinks I never loved her in the first place” Spencer rambles exasperated by the whole situation his insecurities caused
“I’m sure she knows its bullshit, at the end of the day you love her; she’s a smart girl, she’ll figure it out just as I could tell you were trying to lie to my face” Diana said with a chuckle
“I’m sure she’s over me, she’s already dating a hot shot lawyer in San Francisco” Spencer said biting his lower lip
“It takes a lifetime to forget a great love, and lucky for you, that’s what you had; I’m sure you can get her back if you let go of your fears and put your heart on the line” Diana added cupping her son’s cheek
“I wouldn’t bet on it mom, I mean, I’ve put her through hell” Spencer said biting nervously the inside of his cheek
“Then bring her back from hell, just like Orpheus was supposed to bring Eurydice back” Diana said encouraging her son to follow his heart
“Do you believe I’m hard to love?” Spencer asked his mother in a serious tone, in hope she could calm down all his fears, and put to rest the voices in his head telling him it was not worth it
“I believe you are extraordinary, and that loving you is one of the greatest pleasure in life, of course, life comes with its ups and downs, but love is worth every single bump you encounter on the way” Diana said, convincing Spencer that he should fight for the one he loved, even if he was scared to death of doing so
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Spencer took another plane, this time it was bound to San Francisco; and he spent the whole plane ride studying obsessively the envelope Garcia had put together of you and your life in Frisco, as she had previously referred.
The transition made a toll on you, and you seemed to be putting on extra hours in the field just for the sake of it, but Spencer couldn’t shake away the feeling of pride that fluttered all around his chest as he reviewed your accomplishments. You seemed to be living on the bay area, and Spencer couldn’t stop the butterflies from fluttering as the pilot announced they were about to land in the airport. Suddenly, everything seemed real: the losing you, the never-ending love he still harvest on his heart for you, how much he had screwed up, the anxiety building over as the chance of rejection became a possibility. Sure, Spencer had come out of jail a changed man, but right now, he felt as anxious and vulnerable as the lanky Doctor with glasses he used to be when he first entered the BAU. What was he even supposed to do? Spencer Reid wasn’t used to winging things, but for the first time in his life, he boarded a plane without having an actual plan of what to do when he landed, and that was freaking scary.
He decided it would be creepy to just show up at your door, considering he knew your address by the information Penelope had given him when she visited, and he did not want to freak you out. Maybe he could hang nearby where you lived, until he either worked up the courage to talk to you, or he came up with an excuse that wasn’t pathetic to explain why he was so many miles away from home. A hotel! Suddenly Spencer thought he also needed to book a hotel or at least, find a place where he could spend the night. After reading a more than a couple of yelp reviews, the young Doctor found a hotel close enough to your home that he could get there by walking, but with enough distance to be considered respectful, or at least he thought so.
“For fucks sake, Spencer, you really need to come up with a hell of an excuse to be in San Francisco” Spencer muttered to himself as he was getting installed into the hotel room. After a couple of hours of pacing around in the room thinking, crafting, and tossing at the trash at least fifty excuses for him being in California, he decided it was about time to get something to eat.
He settled on a Thai place that was a couple of blocks away from his hotel, and as he was devouring his Tom Yum Goong, and suddenly he felt like he was about to choke on his soup: he heard your laugh. The same laugh that had been haunting his dreams for the past month, that one laugh he could recognize in a room full of noise, the laugh he would trade his lat breath of air, just to be able to hear at least one more time. The room started spinning and Spencer, a known rambler, suddenly was at a loss of words.
“Spencer?” he heard you calling him from the other side of the room, and for a second, Spencer Reid knew exactly why sailors found their death as soon as they heard the mermaid’s lullabies; but while he was thinking about drowning on the dulcet sound of your voice, a naughty piece of shrimp decided to block his airways and he started coughing
“Oh my god! Spencer, are you okay?” you rushed over to his side trying to help him, oblivious that your presence only made it harder for him to breath
“Excuse me, honey, let me handle this” Dylan, your new… situationship (?) said, holding Spencer and practicing the Heimlich Maneuver on the Doctor
If Spencer was struggling to find a good excuse for being in San Francisco, he better come up with something good, because this was deficiently the most embarrassing moment of his life; it was official, he has reached a new low point and he couldn’t wait for the earth to shatter under his feet and just swallow him.
“Hello y/n” Spencer said with a raspy voice as soon as he could breath
“Spencer! Hi, hello” you said, completely confused and shaken up by the situation that you just witnessed
“Are you okay, bro?” Dylan intervened, taking you out of the trance of what was going on in front of you
“Yes, I’m alright, thank you…” Spencer said, with his eyes glued to you
“I’m Dylan, Dylan Brown” Dylan said offering his hand to Spencer
“Spencer doesn’t…” you started speaking when you were interrupted
“I don’t shake hands, with the amount of pathogens you could get from a handshake is actually safer to jut kiss” Spencer cut you off “I’m Doctor Spencer Reid, nice to meet you” he said holding his hand up and waving a little
“Oh… I didn’t know we were in official business” Dylan said with a chuckle “District Attorney Dylan Brown, at your service” he continued flashing his winning smile, giving Spencer a weird feeling, maybe… jealousy? Whatever it was, definitely was the reason Spencer couldn’t spare a laugh for the person who pretty much just saved his life
“What are you… Why’re you here? I mean… Are you here on a case or something?” you asked, noticing how uncomfortable both Dylan and Spencer where with the situation
“I… I’m here to… yes! Actually I’m here consulting on a case” Spencer decided to lie, in order to preserve his last shred of dignity, little did he know…
“Oh really? That’s so weird, considering you’re on medical leave” you said cutting through his bullshit, okay, he didn’t know was it was possible, but somehow Spencer Reid started from the bottom, just to somehow sink even deeper
“How did you? How do you even know about the medical leave?” Spencer said, taking you off from the higher horse you pretended to be
“I didn’t… I mean… Garcia happened to mention something” you stuttered, as you refused to admit you had been checking up with Penelope, just to know how Spencer was doing
“Honey, we should go back to our table” Dylan once more intervened the staring contest that was going down between Spencer and you
“You should join me, actually, let me invite the two of you dinner, after all, I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Dylan’s amazing technique of the Heimlich Maneuver” Spencer said with a hint of sarcasm, and you knew this night was bound to end in disaster
“We don’t want to impose” you rushed to reply
“Please, I insist, I’m just so shaken up by everything that went down” Spencer decided to play the victim, and you knew you were screwed
“Come on y/n, we can’t leave him all alone after his brush with death” Dylan said, unknowingly sealing the night’s fate, as he was taking a seat
“Thank you so much, to the both of you” Spencer started speaking, with his eyes piercing fierily into your own
“So you guys know each other?” Dylan tried to make sense of the situation
“Oh, yes, we used to work together, back in Virginia” you rapidly intervened to avoid Spencer giving away too much information
The dinner proceeded uneventful, but you couldn’t put your finger quite on it. There was something off with Spencer; the vibes weren’t vibing, and as much as you wanted to focus on Dylan, there was something magnetic pulling you towards Spencer, or maybe it was those damn profiler skills you couldn’t just push to the back or your mind, either way, you knew you had to stop it.
“I’m sorry for cutting this short, but I was just called into the office, apparently there’s an emergency” Dylan said checking his phone after ordering dessert
“Oh, let me come with you, maybe I can help” you said, thanking God, the universe or something for the way out
“Please don’t, you guys should really catch up, but I’ll text you when I get to the office, just so you don’t worry” Dylan said placing a kiss on the top of your head, making Spencer’s stomach flip “It was lovely to meet you Spencer, I hope this isn´t the last we see of each other” he added taking his coat, gifting the doctor a kind smile and walking away from the table
“What the hell are you doing here?” you asked angrily as soon as Dylan went through the door
“I needed to talk to you” Spencer replied with a calm tone that was making your blood boil
“What do you want to talk about Reid? I think enough was said in Virginia” you scoffed
Spencer was a man of many words, unfortunately, at this very moment his brain was a mush and even if he wanted to, he was unable to string two sentences together. Seeing you made quite a number on him: his hands were sweaty, his head was spinning, his back was shivering, his pupils couldn’t focus, his stomach was in knots, and he was almost certain this is what a stroke feels like.
“So? Why are you really here?” you asked once more with an exasperated expression
“I…I…” he was choking again, this time just tripping with his own words
“Whatever you are playing, I want no part on it, I already lost enough with you” you said with a sober tone
“I’m in love with you, I fucked up, but I’m here to promise I’ll do everything in my power, actually I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you” Spencer rambled and you couldn’t help but laugh at the situation
“You’re a madman if you think you can just come here out of the blue, say that you love me and everything will be forgiven” you said, this time taking your own coat and leaving Spencer alone in the restaurant
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫
What the hell was wrong with Spencer Reid
That sentence was all you could think of on your way back home.
Did he really think he could show up in San Francisco, declare his love to you and what? You were supposed to come back to him? Even if your heart lowkey fluttered when your eyes first met his at the restaurant, he was being a complet ass and it was totally unacceptable. As you were getting ready to go to bed, your head was spinning, thinking about Spencer was not an option, but somehow the whole encounter kept poping into your head.
You tossed and turned on your bed, untill the clock on your bedside marked 2:20 am, and you knew there was only one person in the whole world who could help apeace your mind; the very same person that was the reason of your sleepless night.
“Hey, it’s me” you whispered as soon as Spencer picked up the phone
“Hello y/n, having a rough time sleeping?” you could hear Spencer’s husky voice on the other side of the line
“I think I’m ready to talk, and I’m guessing you already know where I live, so please come” you said, hanging up the call without giving him enough time to give you an answer
Fifteen minutes after the short phone call, Spencer was buzzing on the intercom of your apartment bulding; and no more than five minutes after that he was already knocking on your door.
“Please come in” you said, opening the door for him
“Thank you so much for having me over, I really need to talk to you” Spencer rambled as he was closely inspecting your apartment. There was something about the place, that somehow made it all feel like home even if it was on the opposite end of the country, althought deep down, he knew it wasn’t something, it was someone
“Please take a sit, and you better have a hell of an explanation to be here in San Francisco, because I’m not buying the idea that you’re here because you love me” you said, sitting on the couch across from where Spencer was standing
“I made a mistake, when we were in Quantico” Spencer started and you couldn’t help but cut him off with a sour smile, as your eyes starterd to accumulate tears. Sure, you had done everything in your power to just shove down the feelings to the bottom of your heart, and somewhow you were succedeing, but having the man you once loved, speaking about the most painful day of your life wasn’t easy
“If you’ve come here to state the obvious, you can just save your breath” you scoffed, trying to avoid his gaze
“I need you to hear me out, please” Spencer pleaded, and your heart couldn’t help but shatter a little with the amount of hurt that was accumulated both in his eyes, and his voice
“Alright, you got the floor to speak, but you can’t blame me for thinking this is riddiculous Spencer, you broke me, you had me all for yourself, and you decided to just… leave me” you said, feeling the tears roll down your eyes
“I got scared” Spencer said quietly, almost as a whisper
“Why were you afraid? I loved you with everything in me and more! There was no reason for you to doubt me!” you said, feeling both the pain and the anger building up in your throat
“I never doubted you! I was just… I was so afraid of something terrible happening to you… I just thought it’d be best to keep you away from me” Spencer replied, lowering his gaze
“What are you even talking about? You were afraid of something terrible happening to me? That’s why you decided it would be a good idea to just break my heart? Shatter all my dreams? Destroy the life we had planeed together?” you asked and Spencer couldn’t help but run his hands trough his hair in exasperation
“I don’t know how to explain this to you without sounding like a madman, or a religious freak; specially because I’m a man of science, but, please undertand me, statistically, all the people that I’ve loved either end up dead or terribly hurt” Spencer said and a chukle left your mouth before you could even realize
“Are you kidding me Spencer? Are you seriously telling me that you left me because you were somehow scared that you are cursed?” you asked in disbelief
“I’m not saying that I’m cursed! All I’m saying is that… I don’t know what I’m saying but I was trying to protect you! I love you so much, I’d hate myself if something happens to you because of me” Spencer pleaded. Sure, you knew it was wrong to laugh about people’s fears, and that everyone copes individually as they can, but this was just riddiculous to you
“Spencer, I work on the FBI with children and human traficking, I’m aware, actually, I’m certain that my name figures in more than one hit list, but that doesn’t stop me from living my life” you said, and you couldn’t help but feel that maybe if Spencer had the guts to talk about his feelings and fears out loud before, you wouldn’t be in this messy situation, hell, you’d probably even still be engaged
“I… I know that, and I’m so proud of you, and of your work but I… I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to you, and just not being able to protect you” Spencer added
“Let me get this straigth, you were so afraid of losing me, you decided to just leave me?” you asked with an ironic tone as another laugh scaped your lips
“I mean… if you put it like that, I guess I did” he said, with a small chuckle
“Besides, how dare you think is romantic leaving me safe and stranded? Do you have any idea how much I cried over you? How many days I couldn’t sleep just wondering where did we go wrong? My God, Spencer! We almost had it all, I love you with everything in me and you just… let me go” you added with a bitter tone, as you tried to comprehend the Doctor’s train of thought
“I genuenly believed I was doing what was best for you” Spencer said without meeting your eyes
“Spence, you can’t live with the constant fear that something terrible is just going to happen, I understand that with our line of work sometimes even existing is complicated, but, you have to be brave” you said with a softer tone, trying to get Spencer to understand how out of pocket hhis fears were
“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, if I could just somehow take it back, I would, I… I guess my anxiety got the best of me” Spencer said, this time with an embarrased tone
“Yeah, I imagine, but, as you know, that’s just not possible you” you added with a small smile, almost a pitty smile, because you counldn’t believe how unserious Spencer’s reason to call off the engagement was
“If you let me, I’ll make it up to you for the rest of my life, I don’t care how much time I have to wait, I don’t even care if I have to move to San Francisco just to be with you! I’ll do anything, I’ll even marry you right here, right now, but please, give me another chance. Not a day goes by that I don’t love you! Hell, I even think I love you more today than I loved you yesterday, altough it’s not gonna be as much as I’ll love you tomorrow of the day after that” Spencer rambled, and you could feel your heart ache, for a whole month all you wanted, all you wished for was Spencer saying those words to you, but hearing them, now you were scared out of your mind
“I… I don’t think I can do this again, Spence” you said with a low voice
“Please y/n, I’ll do anything, I know deep down you still love me, maybe not as much as I love you, but it’s okay because I have so much love, I’ll just love you for the two of us” Spencer said with his eyes filling with tears
“I’m scared Spencer, how do I know you won’t jump ship again as easily as you did it last time?” you asked almost with a whispered. You figured out that if you were going to break his heart, at least you’d be straighfordward and honest
“I understand that you don’t trust me, or that’s scary, but you just told me that I can’t let my fears control my life… please, take a leap of faith with me” Spencer said stepping closer to the couch were you were sitting
“I don’t… I don’t know how, I already gave you my all once” you said, curling up on your couch like a wounded puppy
“Then let me prove to you that I mean it when I say I’ll give you my all, let me show you how serious I’m about spending the rest of my life with you” Spencer pleaded, taking your hand into his “I love you so much, I vow I won’t let anything come between us again, I don’t care if I have to fight a curse, a thousand unsubs, hitmen or whatever life throws at our way, I promise I’ll always stand by you… If you need to cry, I’ll be your shoulder, if you need protection, I’ll be your shelter, if you need to lean on, I’ll be your rock, but please, let me be everything and anyrthing you need” he added with teary eyes
“You get one chance, and we have a shit ton of things to figure out, but I swear if you screw up one more time, I’ll personally make sure to destroy you” you said with a teassing smile, and Spencer coulnd’t help but chuckle and plant a swee kiss on your lips
“I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure I don’t screw up again” he said, and you gave hijm another kiss
You knew it would be messy, and even a little embarrasing to anounce, but your heart somehow intertwined perfectly with Spencer’s. You knew you loved him with everything in you and somehow, you were convinced by his words aboout how much he loved you. At the end of the day, love is a bet, and you knew Spencer Reid was banned from every casino in Vegas because he was an expert on statistics, so maybe, with his head and your gut, the two of you’d find a way for your love to work out.
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alice-after-dark · 1 day
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Vox as an Abuse Victim
So here is that massive Vox post I promised, a day late for...reasons. I swear I have been working on this post for days, even before that StaticMoth discourse influx in my inbox.
After making my post about Vox and Angel and reading @deeply-unserious-fellow's post about a similar topic, I thought it might be finally time to make this post. Most people who have seen my content know how I typically portray StaticMoth. I have mixed feelings about Valentino at the best of times and outright dislike him at the worst. But frankly this post isn't actually about him (well, mostly). It's about Vox and why I am really hoping that Viv keeps the angle of Vox being an abuse victim.
TW for domestic abuse, physical violence, implied sexual abuse, abusive relationships, gaslighting/victim-blaming, and other canon-typical triggers. Contain abusive StaticMoth.
Honestly? The primary reason I hope she keeps it is because it would make him an even more complex character and bring attention to a criminally underrepresented group: abuse victims who are also bad people.
As pointed out in the post I tagged above, the world has become obsessed with this idea of a "palatable" victim, the poor suffering cinnamon roll. An abuse victim is expected to look like a victim. You're supposed to instantly feel sorry for them and want to protect them...but that's not so easy when the victim is someone who also hurts people, is it? It's not so easy to pretend they didn't do bad things too...but they are still a victim. That does not change just because they are a bad person. And thus it becomes complicated and interesting. Because it's not so easy to root for the victim when they're also victimizing others, especially when those others are people we care about...like Angel Dust. At the bare minimum, Vox is doing nothing to stop Valentino from abusing Angel or any of his other employees. Having Vox be a victim of the same abuse that Angel Dust suffers (at the hands of the same abuser no less) and yet also being someone who enables Angel's abuse creates a very complicated situation.
In a most media, the discovery of a mean/bad person being abused is frequently portrayed in a "well, they were abused so you can't be mad at them anymore" kind of light. Like "see? They're just an asshole because they were being abused! Now that we know, they're suddenly a good person!" Except that's not how it works. Someone can be a bad person and also be a victim. And even if them being an asshole was the result of their abuse, those behaviors and the consequences of those behaviors don't just vanish. They still hurt people and frankly I would riot if it came out that Vox was being abused by Valentino and then everyone in the show just up and forgave him for being an asshole. Like...no? He would still need to make up for his own shit and actually work towards being a better person. I like this character because he's an unapologetic asshole. If making him a victim takes that away, then that would be such a missed opportunity.
In fact, one thing I find interesting is that I definitely believe that Vox would have no problem admitting to being a bad person, but would rather fight an exorcist alone than admit to being a victim. His ego won't allow for it. He would probably laugh in your face and call you delusional while literally having a broken screen. Because he can't admit it, even to himself. He would see it as a sign of weakness and that's not acceptable to him (side note that being a victim does not make you weak, that's just what Vox's toxic mindset tells him). While I am fairly certain that he would have moved on from most 1950s mindsets since he is all about the future and progress and moving forward, toxic masculinity is still very much a thing today and I can definitely see him embodying it in some aspects, like needing to appear strong and in control at all times (and Hell's power hierarchy definitely encourages this mindset, so...). Fuck, even now in fucking 2024, men still have a hard time being taken seriously as the victims of abuse. Unless of course you fit a certain mold.
Angel Dust is the perfect example of this. He is a palatable male victim. He's effeminate, he's funny, he's friendly, he's caring, and we actively see him miserable in his suffering. Despite being in Hell just like the rest of them and having been a former mafia member and clearly able to stand on his own two feet it combat, his victimhood is constantly on display and the audience wants to protect and save him. On the opposite end, Vox is shown in a position of power that is constantly reinforced. He's an Overlord, he's manipulative, he's cruel, he's greedy, and he enables abusive behavior from others. He is not a palatable victim, which is why it's perfect.
Now let's get into what I believe is the actual evidence that this dynamic could still be present.
Something I see people commonly say is that Vox being abused by Valentino doesn't make sense because why wouldn't Vox just fight back? He could just shock Valentino into next Tuesday? And to these people I kindly say fuck you. Because while physical strength can be a factor in abuse, it is very rarely the thing that keeps the victim from leaving. Abuse, even when physical, is heavily psychological. It's like telling a victim "well, why didn't you just leave?" It's not that easy. Abusers tend to target those with low self-esteem and it's made pretty clear that Vox is a very insecure person (I feel the need to point out that having an ego and having high self-esteem are not the same thing, in fact having a big ego is typically a side effect of very low self-esteem). It's entirely possible that Vox makes the conscious decision not to fight back because he's afraid of what will happen if he does. He's afraid Valentino will leave. We know Valentino is just as mentally and emotionally abusive to those around him as he is physically abusive and we have actively witnessed him playing into Vox's insecurities and mentally messing with him (specifically in the events leading up to "Stayed Gone").
So let's talk about the scene leading up to "Stayed Gone," because I also see Vox's behavior towards Valentino here used as justification for why it's not possible for Valentino to be abusing Vox. Full disclosure, I myself in the past have even thought that it demonstrated them being mutually abusive towards each other, but have since changed my opinion after reading more takes and doing further analysis. Having rewatched this scene many times now, I have some observations.
There's a small moment that always caught my attention when I watched this scene because I wasn't sure what it meant, but looking at it in the context of this post, I think I can see a possibility. When Vox goes to see Valentino, he approaches the doors and they are opened for him by Valentino's servants. Vox pauses in the doorway, glances at them, then continues on inside.
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What was the point of this moment? It seems out of place. Surely Vox has gone to Valentino's room before? Surely this door opening thing isn't new? And looking at Vox's face here, he looks...concerned? Like...they might hear what goes on inside? And he maintains that expression even as he enters the room, like he doesn't like that those two are out there and might hear them.
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It also makes the entire situation feel so routine. Like Valentino is upset and these girls just expect Vox to show up and take care of it. And the scenes prior to this also sets it up as a normal occurrence. Vox rearranges his entire schedule to deal with Valentino, like he absolutely expects this situation could take up the rest of his day. And Valentino clearly doesn't listen to Velvette in this regard as she had to call Vox to come deal with Valentino despite him wrecking her department. Her comment even further establishes this as normal when she tells Vox that Valentino is "up in his tower, waiting for a flat-faced prince to calm him down." And when Vox arrives? "FUCKING FINALLY!" All of this sets up a standard situation: when Valentino is upset, it is Vox's job to calm him down and make him feel better. Valentino is a full grown adult and yet he has made it someone else's problem to manage his emotions.
Then of course we have the classic moment of Valentino literally throwing his glass at Vox only seconds after Vox has arrived. And this has to have been a conscious decision, because right before that, he throws his first glass on the ground before demanding another. So if he wanted to just break something, he didn't need to throw it at Vox, but he did. And I definitely don't think he cared if Vox got out of the way or not. But how easily Vox moves aside tells us that he fully expected to have things thrown at him and was ready for it. Now, I do believe that Valentino would throw shit at literally anyone when he is mad, but the key here is that Vox, his supposed friend, on-and-off lover, and business partner, is not exempt from this behavior. He even breaks Vox's phone when he realizes Vox is not paying attention to him. He has no qualms breaking Vox's property just to soothe his rage (I would also like to point out that he fucking obliterated that thing; just how hard did he fucking throw it?!).
Something in this scene that did initially throw me as I was writing this is that Vox doesn't seem particularly afraid of Valentino. Not the way we see Angel is when Valentino gets angry. We also see him actively get angry with Valentino, get in his face, and manipulate him. In the past, I believed this behavior from Vox to have established their relationship as mutually abusive. However, after reading yet another post from @deeply-unserious-fellow, I realized that everything Vox does here is only in direct response to Valentino's tantrum.
So let's go through some things here. When Vox initially tries to tell Valentino he can't go to the hotel, Valentino straight up ignores him. Does not respond to Vox's words, completely carries on like he didn't even speak. From this point on, Vox takes an entirely different approach to the situation. He manipulates Valentino into thinking that not shooting up the hotel is his idea and even offers further appeasement in the form of shooting his own employees as a method to satisfy Valentino's temper. I admit to initially viewing this as Vox being abusive, but frankly, when your options are being manipulative or letting your business partner go shoot up a hotel that houses the literal Princess of Hell, yeah, I'd take the manipulation route. Because, as I pointed out above, Vox cannot actually control Valentino. He tries to give him an order and is completely ignored. And even when he does successfully manipulate him, he still has to appease him in some capacity.
Now, there's also something here that is often played for shits and giggles, but I'm taking it 100% seriously right now. Many people point out that Vox's screen gets brighter when he gets in Valentino's face. Valentino is a moth demon and after Vox does this, he seems to be dazed for a moment, enough for Vox to rapidly switch back into manipulator mode and does his thing. It seems to have snapped Valentino out of his rage and I literally can't help but think that Vox has learned this as a defense mechanism. Valentino can't see very well, so it's very likely Vox's hypnotism doesn't work on him, so Vox had to find other ways of manipulating him and calming him down when he's in one of his rages.
Something I also want to point out is that it is made very clear through a single solitary moment that Valentino is in no way afraid of Vox. When he tells Vox about Alastor, Vox screams in his face, manhandles him, and Valentino just...pushes him off and saunters away, grinning like the cat that caught the canary. He doesn't even look upset or concerned when Vox grabs him. He just...laughs it off...like he knows Vox won't actually hurt him. Because I genuinely think Vox won't. Later in the episode, we hear Valentino's voicemails to Angel Dust and how he's emotionally manipulating him, telling him he can't really get better. I wouldn't be surprised to find that he's given Vox a similar treatment, especially considering that it's obvious Valentino knew what kind of reaction he would get out of Vox by bringing up Alastor. And sure, he brushes it off with a kink joke, but in all seriousness, why did Valentino keep Alastor's return from Vox? We know Angel has been at the hotel for a little while and Alastor has been involved with it as of a week prior to the beginning of season 1, so why suddenly bring it up? It's almost like he was specifically holding onto this information, waiting for the perfect time to use it that would be the most beneficial to him.
There's also another little scene that always caught my attention. It's when Valentino is getting pissed about the shadow construct that Angel Dust is flirting with.
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Valentino starts getting pissy again, demands Vox's attention, gets annoyed when he doesn't get it, then immediately switches to mocking and confident when Vox starts bitching about Alastor. Like...he's so fucking proud of himself for getting Vox all worked up over Alastor. Like it's some kind of game for him. Riling Vox up and messing with his emotions is fun for Valentino. Alastor dredges up some real shit for Vox and Valentino exploits it. And from here on, he just keeps egging him on. Now, I'm pretty sure "Stayed Gone" would have happened with or without Valentino, but the point here is that he is definitely playing with Vox's emotions here.
As for the not being afraid aspect, again, Valentino hasn't actually threatened him with something that truly scares him. I don't think he's afraid of what Valentino could physically do to him. It's more likely to make him mad than anything else, even if he doesn't fight back (he'll probably go take out his anger on someone else). The thing about Vox is that we see that he does not like to appear weak in any capacity and I think this extends well into his own psyche. If he admits, even to himself, that he's a victim...to him, that's admitting weakness and he just can't do that. So Valentino's not abusing him, they just had a fight. He didn't hit back because he's in control of himself and he knows he could totally toast Valentino. It's Vox's own fault for pushing his buttons when he knew Valentino was mad. It wasn't rape cause he never said "no".
TLDR: Vox can be both an asshole and an abuse victim and it would be a really interesting aspect to his character as long as the show does it right and doesn't scrap his assholeness to make him a more palatable victim. Show him being a victim and also victimizing others. Show him not wanting to accept that he has been abused. LET PEOPLE BE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH FEELING SORRY FOR HIM.
(that's all for now, I have literally been working on this post for days and I'm exhausted)
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funera1pyre · 1 day
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vessel sfw alphabet
enjoy:3
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
extremely affectionate. vessel is always touching you in some way. holding your hand, a hand on your leg, arm around your waist. he loves to kiss every part of you. big fan of holding your head to his chest to hear his heart beating. loves squeezing your hips when you cuddle, nuzzling his face into your neck. he’s obsessed with the way you feel. imo his love language is acts of service and physical touch.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
vessel has been through a lot, and it is truly hard for him to trust people enough to become close with them. but once he is, he is the best friend you could ask for. cares for you like no other and always wants to be around you.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
absolutely!! cuddling is one of his favorite things to do with you. very intimate cuddler as well, telling you how much he loves you as he drags his hands all over your body. loves spooning you while you two sleep, also loves when you sit in his lap!!
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
once vessel found you, he knew you were his life partner. he absolutely wants to settle down with you, and he feels it is his life’s purpose. he hopes so much that you want the same with him. vessel definitely loves to cook for you and will always make your favorite meals for you without you asking (acts of service!)
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
honestly i don’t think vessel would ever leave you unless you wanted it. if you two ended up breaking up, he would never be the same again.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
marriage was something vessel didn’t think about until he met you, but now it’s all he wants for the two of you. regarding commitment, vessel quite literally lives for you. he will never gaze upon another.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
he is so so gentle with you. physically and emotionally. he would never want to hurt you, he couldn’t live with himself. he always makes sure he isn’t doing anything to upset you, and if you two have a disagreement he will be sure to work it out with you right away.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
vess loves hugs!!!! please hug him as much as you can, he wants to always be holding you. he loves to completely envelope you in his arms and squeeze you close to him.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
vess had been scared to tell you, afraid you wouldn’t reciprocate. but once you told him you loved him, he would say it constantly. so many times a day. he always wants you to remember how deeply and wholly he loves you.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
vess gets jealous pretty easily. it’s just his nature. when he’s jealous he can get a bit stubborn. he will probably always have an arm around you in the presence of others, and will make everyone well aware that you’re his.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
vessel’s kisses are always full of love and passion. you can always feel how truly he loves you when he places his lips on yours. his favorite place to kiss you is your neck and forehead, and he likes to be kissed on his chest and hands. i also headcanon that his kisses are healing. if you have a scrape or bruise, his kisses will speed up the healing process.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
not having much experience around children, vessel wasn’t sure about ever wanting a family. now that he is with you, his views have changed. he’s very nervous about having children, and is not sure he is ready yet, but he can’t hide how much he wants it.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
vess likes to sleep in with you (when he can) and always looks forward to cuddling. loves to make you breakfast and wake you up with a nice cup of your favorite coffee/tea.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
more often than not, you go to sleep before vessel does. he waits for you to fall asleep before doing his own thing before bed (reading or writing). likes to watch movies with you in bed.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
vess takes a while to open up with anybody, not just you. he’s been hurt badly, and he knows now to be more careful with what he shares with people. definitely takes him a while to get more comfortable with sharing his feelings, but once he knows you are not a threat, he’s an open book.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
he tries to avoid fighting as much as possible. if you two have a disagreement, he will NEVER raise his voice at you. he is good at keeping his composure and talking things out
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
vessel is absolutely making sure he remembers every little thing about you. you’re his muse, his life, his heart. if you mention something you saw that you wanted, you can guarantee he will get it for you. will always know exactly what food you’re in the mood for, how you’re feeling, and your favorite things
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
when you first told him you loved him. it was about a month or so into your relationship. vessel had been wanting to say it for so long, but was afraid it was too soon. the relief that washed over him when you spoke those three words for the first time is something he will never forget.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
vess is very protective of you. tying into his jealousy, he will always make sure it is known that you are his and he always makes sure you are safe physically and mentally. if someone has done you wrong or hurt you, he will do everything in his power to make their life a living hell (and maybe sacrifice them 🤭)
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
vess loves spoiling you. will never ever forget an anniversary and always goes all out. any kind of date you want to go on, vess will be happy to take you. he loves trying new things together and experiencing life with you. as mentioned previously, he will always surprise you with gifts (one of his love languages). he loves to make you handmade gifts and writes you love letters/poems ALL the time.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
i think vessel definitely gets insecure very often and can cause some issues in your relationship. there will be days where he completely shuts down and it’s hard for him to do much of anything. it’s just important to be there for him.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
vessel definitely looks after himself, he takes pride in his body and the feeling he gets when you worship him
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
oh absolutely. you are vessel’s other half. whenever he isn’t physically with you he feels an ache in his chest and a sadness within him, and he can grow physically tired (your soul bond takes physical effects on him)
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
in my headcanon of your soul bond, vessel is able to sense when you are feeling a certain way. when you are sad, he is able to feel it in his heart, and can feel what you are feeling. is always on top of your emotions and wellbeing
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
vessel does NOT like to be pressured into things. also hates when you talk down on yourself and will get extremely upset when you do
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)
known for staying up til the early morning, vessel does a lot of his writing and thinking during the night. will stay with you and hold you as you fall asleep, and then will stay up for however long he pleases. his body also does not require a lot of sleep, so sometimes he even forgets to.
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qqueenofhades · 3 days
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For the last two nights, I have been locked in a deadly battle against the sadistic smoke alarm in my bedroom. I have emerged victorious, but it has been a close-run and deeply humiliating thing. Let me take you on a stupid, stupid journey.
Flashback: The night before last, I am woken out of a dead sleep at 5am by the persistently and maddeningly consistent chirp of a low-battery smoke alarm. You know the one: [Thirty seconds of blissful silence] CHIRP. [Thirty seconds of confused but slightly less blissful silence] CHIRP. [Thirty seconds of hopeful silence that maybe it's done n -- ] CHIRP.
Anyway. I tried to ignore it for a bit. This did not work. I hoped it would go away. This also did not work. I finally get out of bed and angrily lumber around the apartment, stick my head out the front door, etc, looking for the source. Finally, I seize upon the hallway smoke alarm and vengefully remove the battery, deciding that if I therefore die in a fire in the next three hours, this is a worthwhile sacrifice. (Sidenote that will become important later: The bedroom smoke alarm is located less than a foot from the hallway smoke alarm. Did I walk right past it? Multiple times? Apparently so.)
Falsely confident that I have solved the problem, I get back in bed. Surely this is now totally --
CHIRP.
I contemplate homicide. I think the noise is surely coming from one of my neighbors' units and wonder why they are so stupid as not to know that there is a frigging alarm going off constantly and disturbing my sleep and probably theirs. I figure that while I might be going crazy and hearing things which are not there, it's probably the case that someone else can hear it too. Finally, I appear to be vindicated in this assumption when the infernal cheeping finally stops and I am able to fall soundly back to sleep for another three hours. When I wake up, it remains quiet. All day, in fact!
Ha! I think. Problem solved.
I am incorrect.
Last night: I get ready for bed. I get in bed, I am awake for a bit, and then lo, it starts again, at literally midnight. Thirty seconds [CHIRP]. Thirty seconds [CHIRP]. Thirty seconds, [CHIRP].
I don't know why it wants to make me suffer in this way. We have established that for whatever reason it decided to hold its fire over the last entire day, it was nothing whatsoever to do with anything I did. I don't know why it decided to resume at LITERALLY MIDNIGHT instead of, you know, any other hour where I would be better equipped to discover the source of this nocturnal demonic howling, but I suspect this is my penance. I once more attempt to ignore it. Turn up the white noise machine and put in the earplugs. Remind myself that I have started meditating lately, maybe I can use that!
It does not work.
I attempt to figure out whether it is coming from the next door neighbors or the upstairs neighbors. GET UP AND TURN IT OFF, I think in great vexation. Nope. Still nothing. It keeps going. I contemplate the folly of all human existence.
Finally, once more driven to extremes, I get up and AGAIN lumber all the way around the apartment, like an angry sleep-deprived zombie, to try and fail to discover the source of this infernal bellowing. As most of you know, I am about to start my fourth graduate degree. Habitually and fondly, I consider myself somewhat smarter than the average potted plant. This however continues to avail me nothing. I compose angry emails in my head to the maintenance department, which said they had fixed a similar problem and then didn't. WHY ARE MY NEIGHBORS SO DUMB, I wonder. THAT IS CLEARLY IN THEIR UNIT AND THEY SHOULD TURN IT OFF.
I get back in bed. I take a sleeping pill. Either that works or the cacophony mysteriously subsides for a while, because I get to sleep for about four hours and have weird, smoke-alarm-inflected dreams. I wake up again this morning. It is still beeping. How bad, I think, could it really be if I burned this place down?
Finally, I give up. I get up. I turn off the white noise machine and take out the earplugs. Wow, I think. This noise truly is so loud. Is it possibly in my apartment after all? I remember that like a true Luddite, my preferred superpower would be to smash all noise-making machines. Yes, I am approximately ninety years old in almost every way. Let's not dwell on it.
I light upon the bedroom smoke detector. I narrow my eyes.
I spring forth and disembowel the culprit of its battery.
At last! For the first time in forty-eight hours! Blessed silence falls upon my abode! I stare at the cursed machine. The inside of the battery compartment reads CAUTION: ALARM IS NONFUNCTIONAL WITH BATTERY REMOVED.
"YES," I bellow, in my angry and confused sleep-deprived caveman haze. "YES, THAT IS PRESENTLY MY EXACT INTENTION."
Silence. Finally. Except for the sound of another alarm chirping somewhere in the distance, as it has done for several weeks now, but quietly enough that I can mostly tune it out. I will purchase a new battery when I am out today, but etc etc if I die in a fire in the next three hours, you may assume the sadistic smoke alarm has taught me its final lesson.
So. There you go. There is no moral to this story except a) the call was indeed coming from inside the house, b) Share O My Toils, Tumblr; and c) sometimes it is indeed you. The angry groggy moron lumbering around at the dead of night and attempting to break things in a vain effort to shut them up, wondering why their neighbors won't get up and turn it off instead, is sometimes just you.
Tonight, at last, I will sleep in peace. Until I once more become Frodo of the Shire, One Who Has Seen The Eye (of the demonically possessed smoke detector).
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HI ERIC HELLO PLEASE HEAR ME OUT
i literally can't stop thinking about something
i loveee re6 AUs with luis, but
death island!luis !!!!
specifically, a scenario where he saves leon instead of/with rebecca. like imagine him working with rebecca on the vaccine and delivering it to the island to save leon and the rest 😭😭
and i actually see two scenarios here
either luis is obviously alive and all, and leon knows it, and it's just, hey! my husband's here to save the day!!
OR it's a big reveal lol. rebecca shows up there like, 'a friend helped me', and it's LUIS there with her. like, i know rebecca is super capable and she made the vaccine all alone in the movie , but just imagine if it was actually a bit more complicated, so she would have to reach out for help, and who would be better than luis
i NEED to see luis and rebecca team up, they'd work so well together 😭😭
and older serennedy!!!!! omg
i just need to see older luis 😭😭 and the parallel with him delivering the suppressant in re4, and now the vaccine
i don't know what i wanted to say with this and i really didn't think it through that well, and it's rushed, but i really need to share these thoughts 😭
@silverhexrt HI SO UM. THIS ASK WAS SENT IN JUST OVER A WEEK AGO and it gave me SUCH AGGRESSIVE brain worms that I was like Oh this would make for SUCH a cute little Drabble!!!!! But then I just. Kept going. So I accidentally made a whole entire fic for you!! I really truly hope you don’t mind!!!!!!!!! ;^^/
I know this blog is more of a character analysis blog so if you or anyone else still wants to talk to me about the LOGISTICS of what Luis in Death Island would look like I’d be MORE THAN HAPPY TO RAMBLE cuz I am SO FASCINATED by how that would work character and legalities wise,,, but uh for now!! I hope you don’t mind this little thingymadgig I made!!!
Fatigue was the overwhelming sensation dragging Leon’s body down. His breathing was labored and his skin burned against the Velcro of his protective gear- far from unfamiliar territory in terms of the worst symptoms he’d survived. But this somehow felt so, so much worse.
Leon felt like he was dying. Like actually dying. Which was downright terrifying.
He hated that he even knew what dying felt like. Leon could easily pick up on the little ways his body began to shut down; it felt like he couldn’t breath in far enough to fill his lungs, his limbs felt weighed down by an invisible force, his vision was blurry… except, this time, it was his own body killing him from the inside-out.
He was much more used to- even comfortable with- the close brush of death being from the hands of a Bioweapon or loose debris crushing his body. Leon at least had some level of control in those scenarios. He could kick and wriggle and spit and cuss out whatever was holding him down until a miracle freed him and he could load bullets into the face of whatever was hunting him.
But Leon couldn’t run from his own body, no. And oh, how badly did he wanna run until his legs burnt beneath him.
Leon had only ever felt that inherent, gut-wrenching urge one other time. One other time when he was on the brink of death and freedom alike; warm tan hands and cold needles in an isolated village so far from home. Leon could’ve taken the medicine and ran. He could’ve watched the world burn from behind his lovers back as they chased windmills without a care in the world.
He could’ve faced death in the eye. He could’ve taken the blade of the knife for him. He could’ve been just a fraction of a second too late for Ashley. Oh, the possibilities.
What a weird time to be thinking about Valdelobos. Maybe it was just his oxygen-deprived brain desperately trying to connect the dots for one last dream. Like falling asleep with the TV on and having a dream about the movie you’d just watched. Arias had his own ‘inspirations’ from Los Illuminados, after all. Maybe he was just trying to think of one last happy memory to drift off to.
Leon hoped dying would be a little bit like falling asleep. He was never religious, never superstitious- but deep down he hoped that he’d be reunited with the loved ones he’d lost. Finally, finally getting the chance to feel those warm palms against his cheek that he missed oh-so dearly.
Leon sighed and let the concrete below his hands wobble a little. He could just barely make out Chris and Claire’s labored breathing from behind him- the only other thing keeping him grounded.
But god was it getting hard. He couldn’t tell if it was just the pure exhaustion or the virus or what, but Leon’s head felt so heavy. Heavy enough that it almost felt as though somebody was holding it up for him. He let himself pretend, just for a moment, that it wasn’t just his imagination. That the warmth on his cheek wasn’t his flushed skin and were instead the hands of a lover, keeping him upright and rested against a beating heart that Leon was sure was just the blood roaring in his ears.
He let himself pretend that the stroke he felt against his cheek was his lovers thumb. A lover so considerate that they’d wipe the blood off of his skin and tuck the loose hair behind his ears. He pretended that the murmuring of his ears giving in was somebody talking to him, whispering comfort in his final moments.
Leon almost let himself give in completely to the imaginary man holding him- the distant scent of leather and cigarettes felt so real, after all- but a cold prick against his neck and the immedie, cold relief of fluids beneath his skin snapped him back to reality.
His breathing came back to him in time with his heartbeat, his fingertips pulsed with the sudden pumping of blood, and…
The feeling of somebody holding him hadn’t gone away.
His cheek was still warm with another man’s hand. His nose still stung with the smell of leather.
His heart was still beating in time with somebody else’s.
Leon hesitated. He didn’t want to open his eyes. He knew he was just dreaming- that he’d look up and the vision of the man he yearned for every night would disappear like a mirage. He wanted to keep them closed and pretend for as long as possible. Until-
“Leon? ¿Corazón? Mierda, Rebecca, he’s not responding-“
Leon’s eyes opened just slightly.
He was staring down at the concrete, somebody must’ve moved him to get access to his neck easier. But he wasn’t dreaming. He wasn’t dreaming of the arms clad in white wrapped around his shoulders and the ringlets of curls that fell around his vision, shielding him from the fluorescent Alcatraz prison lights.
Warm hands went back to stroking his cheek.
Leon wasn’t dreaming.
“Leon? Oh, please wake up,”
His voice sounded so broken, so quiet. Leon had never heard of it like that. It broke his heart.
“I can’t- I can’t leave you here, not like this, not again, please…”
Leon couldn’t take it anymore. He was terrified to roll over and face the man he’d chased in his dreams for so long but he had no other option. He’d rather he disappear and it all be his imagination than hear him this sad ever again.
Leon turned his head and blinked up at Luis like a newborn deer. His big, brown eyes were wet with tears but that stupidly charming smile was unmistakable.
“Hey there, Leon…”
Luis managed to croak out, the hand against his cheek trembling from the tears. Leon reached his own shaky hand up to brush Luis’ long, grayed locks out of his face just as he had done moments before for him.
“I must be dreaming,” Leon huffed out, and Luis chuckled, shaking his head and the tears from his reddened cheeks at the same time.
“If you’re dreaming, then so am I, I’m afraid”
“I’ll take my chances.”
Luis chuckled and Leon wasn’t far to follow suit. Even with the end of the world on his shoulders- even with Dylan fighting tooth-and-nail to break down his, Jill’s and everyone else’s spirits- Leon still found time to laugh with Luis like it was autumn of 2004 all over again.
“Just like old times, eh, Sancho?” Luis gave a little sniffle, and while Leon had more than too many questions to ask- how he was even alive was obviously the most pressing- he just couldn’t find it in himself to care.
“Yeah,”
He let himself rest his head against Luis’ chest. Heart beating strong, almost as if to mock Leon for ever doubting his lover's strength.
“Just like old times, Don Quixote…”
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Text
Every Inch of You
Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: reader is fighting demons (insecurities), very specific descrpitions of body image related insecurities- like the reader is literally picking herself apart in a mirror, hella praise, body worship, fingering, edging, multiple orgasms, creampie, cockwarming, pseudo voyeurism/exhibitionism (he fucks her in front of a mirror idk) I think that's everything
Genre: starts off pretty angsty, we transition to smut and end with fluff!
Summary: Insecurities can be quite rough on you but your boyfriend has no intentions of letting you go through it alone
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***
You frown at your reflection as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Today has been a rough day. Nothing in particular happened. You went to work, you ran some errands, you did normal daily things, but for some reason you've been in such a weird mood and now you're stuck in a vortex, picking apart yourself apart in the fucking mirror. You really ought to go to the gym more often, or- stop snacking at night, have your pores always been so noticeable? Since when do you have so many stretch marks? You can't see your toes over your stomach- god that's embarrassing. You let out a long sigh as you bite back the tears stinging the back of your eyes. You hate this. It doesn't usually get this bad and the worst part is you know it's not real, you know you're not some hideous monster but it doesn't stop that nasty voice in your head from warping your perception some days and when that happens nothing you say to yourself changes it. But man does it suck, because most of the time you have all the confidence in the world, you've worked very hard on it. Days like this make it feel like you're still some lost little kid desperate to find your place in the world with no sense of self. You should just walk away. If you can't see yourself, you can't pick your appearance apart. But your feet feel glued to the floor, as if they can't remember how to move, as if it's the most impossible task you've ever been given.
"Alright that's enough. You'll lose your mind standing here." You tell yourself, shaking your head in hopes of getting out of this dreary mood. You finally step away from the mirror and head to your closet to put on some clothes post shower. You throw on a hoodie and some shorts and leave your room.
"Babe?!" You hear as you walk down the hall. Sounds like your boyfriend's back.
"Hey love, welcome home." You meet him by the door and he kisses you on the cheek.
"Hope you haven't made dinner yet beautiful because I brought take out." Luke tells you holding up the bag with an excited grin.
"Take out's good. You wanna shower first or dive straight in?" You ask him.
"Would you mind terribly if I showered first?"
"Not at all. Go ahead." You take the food from him and nod your head towards the bathroom.
"I'll be quick!" He kisses you once more and jogs down the hall. You set the food on the living room table and watch TV while waiting for Luke. You hope you're able to keep it together for the few hours you'll be spending with Luke before bed. Considering its a weekday, you don't have to keep the mask up for that long. True to his word, Luke is quick to return, maybe 15 minutes pass by the time he plops down next to you on the couch. "Alright! Let's eat!" He announces, opening the takeout bag. He hands you your food before digging into his own.
"How was work today?" You ask him.
"Fine, tedious. Was mostly doing paperwork today." He shrugs. "How was your day cupcake?"
"Work was work and then I ran some errands. No fun stories here unfortunately. How's everyone?"
"Well, Spencer was giving a guest lecture today so he wasn't around since we didn't have an actual case. Garcia was telling me about some woman that seems to have his attention at the uni though."
"Is Pen keeping tabs on Spencer at the college? He'll literally hate that when he finds out." You frown.
"That's what I told her but you know how she can be. Especially with how sometimes things- go wrong when we meet new people."
"I mean if she's just a coworker, Penelope's getting ahead of herself don't you think? He probably hasn't even made a move on her." You say.
"He hasn't. You're right but it's not like she can be stopped." Luke chuckles.
"Yeah I guess so." You hum.
"Alright, what's wrong, princess?" Luke frowns.
"What do you mean?"
"You've barely touched your food. Did you think I wasn't gonna notice you've only been picking at it? Do you not like it? Do you want to eat something else?"
"No it, it's fine, I just- I'm honestly not all that hungry I guess." You sigh.
"What do you mean you're not all that hungry? What've you eaten today?"
"A bagel for breakfast and a salad for lunch." You shrug. Luke checks the clock in your living room.
"Lunch was 8 hours ago, all you had was a bowl of rabbit food and you expect me to accept that you don't want to eat your favorite food? Come on, spill it baby what's going on with you?"
"Nothing's going on. I dunno I just- feel weird." You mutter, avoiding his gaze. Dating a profiler is so irritating sometimes, can't he just ignore your body language for once?
"Weird how?"
"We don't, have to do this. It's not a big deal babe." You mumble.
"You're not eating y/n it is absolutely a big deal."
"Luke-" you sigh.
"Don't 'Luke' me, what's going on?" He frowns.
"I'd really rather not discuss anything there's no need, seriously."
"Baby, don't shut me out. You can't shut me out. We're in this together, always. You've gotta tell me what's going on in your head." He caresses your cheek gently. You sigh, unable to justify holding out on him when he speaks so softly, with such care.
"I've just been having a bad mental day. Nothing's happened, but I, just feel uncomfortable in my body, and it's hard to deal with let alone talk about." You say, tears burning behind your eyes again.
"Baby," he says, concern contorting his features.
"It's fine, I'll get over it. Today's just been a rough one. It happens. Sometimes my insecurities flare up out of nowhere but that's life, I don't want you to worry." You shake your head.
"Do you know me at all princess?"
"What?"
"My baby, my darling, the love of my life, my reason for being, is stuck in her own head hating her body, the body I live to worship, the body I can't get enough of and you want me to simply 'not worry about it'? That ain't happening." He stands up.
"Luke." You grumble as he grabs your hands.
"No no no no, no complaining, up you go." He pulls you off the couch and lifts you into his arms.
"Ah! Luke what are you doing?" You ask, throwing your hands around his neck as he princess carries you down the hall.
"Well if that nasty little voice in your head wants to lie to you, I'll simply have to remind you myself of all the reasons ever inch of you is perfect." He says matter-of-factly.
"I do not like the sound of that." You tell him.
"And I don't like the sound of you feeling uncomfortable with yourself." Luke shrugs.
"Well that's not-" You stop yourself with a sigh, not even sure what your comeback would be. In your bedroom, Luke carefully lowers you to the ground in front of the mirror with your back facing him.
"I want to help you to see yourself the way that I do." He says softly. He kisses your neck lightly and gently lifts your gaze to meet his in the reflection. "Ask me how I see you." His fingers brush against your thighs as he speaks.
"How do you see me?" You whisper hesitantly. You're not sure you even want to know, but his lips against your throat and his hands on your skin are rather persuasive.
"You, mi amor, are the sun at the center of my universe, if ever I was asked to describe perfection I would simply describe you." Luke slides his hands up under your hoodie caressing your skin.
"Luke." Your brow furrows. This can't possibly be sexy for him, he's only touching your stomach to comfort you, he'd probably prefer it if-
"Relax baby." Luke whispers. You didn't even realize you'd sucked your stomach in against his touch unconsciously, as if you could hide from him your size. You slowly untense your muscles, cringing at the way you fill his large hands. "I'm going to take this off of you, is that alright baby?" He asks.
"Well," can you really handle looking at yourself again?
"You can say no if you want princess, but I need you to stay with me."
"I'm not going anywhere." You say.
"Physically maybe, but I can see your mind wandering off." He kisses your temple. "Don't go."
"You can take it off." You whisper. Luke tugs the hoodie over your head not a moment later, tossing it somewhere in the room, out of sight. He lets out a sigh as his eyes trail over your body through the reflection. You can still feel the heat of his gaze in the mirror and weirdly enough it feels undeserved. He looks at you like that all the time but, tonight you just can't understand what would make him look at you with such want.
"God, you're gorgeous." He sighs placing his hands on your hips again. Luke places kisses on your shoulder. "Your skin is so soft, I can never get enough of touching you, kissing you, holding you." He says. He slides his hands up your sides to cup your breasts. "So perfect, I love the weight of your tits in my hands." His thumbs stroke over your nipples and the light stimulation makes your breath catch in your throat. He twists and tugs at your nipples, enjoying the little whimpers you let out. "You make the prettiest noises when I touch you baby."
"Luke-" you whine, your head lolling against his shoulder.
"Uh uh, head up princess, you've gotta watch. Watch me touch you, worship you, and watch how your body reacts to me, see for yourself how captivating you look." Luke gently shrugs his shoulder to push your head forward. You force your eyes to focus back on your reflections in the mirror, the sight of his hands kneading your breasts with rough fingers toying with your nipples to create hardened peaks only serves to make you squirm more against him. He keeps at it until your breathing is heavy, then one hand slides down, pausing to rub your tummy, "You may not believe me but this, I love this. Growing up it meant you were eating well, taken care of. And I like to think I take good care of you. I want it to show." He says kissing your neck. "Plus it's excellent for cuddles." He winks with a smile that makes you giggle. "I like that sound even more than your little whimpers, but I'm about to get a lot more of those." Luke's hand continues down, pushing your shorts down enough for you to kick them off. His hand caresses your thigh.
"You're teasing." You pout.
"You look cute when you pout." He chuckles. "But I'll be nice." His voice drops as he slips two fingers between your folds. You arch you back against his touch as his digits toy with your cunt. Luke knows your body maybe better than you do and his hand makes quick work of bringing you to the edge. Your head tips back again, instinctively and his movements slow when he catches it. The sudden change drags your gaze to his in the mirror, a silent question in your eyes when you whine. "If you want to cum pretty girl you have to watch yourself do it."
"But-"
"No buts, keep your eyes open and on the mirror." He says stroking you faster now that your attention is back on your reflection. Again when you feel your orgasm creeping up your spine your head drifts back and again Luke slows his hand almost to a stop.
"No!" You cry out as your release slips away.
"I already told you princess, your eyes have to stay on your reflection." He says waiting for your breathing to calm slightly before his fingers work you again. This time, you manage to keep your head forward, but your eyes still slide closed from the pleasure. Unfortunately for you your boyfriend is very observant and closed eyes still break the rule, so his fingers slow again.
"Fffffffffffffuck me." You grit out, frustrated from his edging game.
"I'll keep doing this until you get it right mi amor. Keep your eyes open." He says beginning again. This time, you steel yourself. You don't think you can handle another denial. The signs of release return quickly with his hands on you and though your lids desperately want to close you keep them open even as they threaten roll back in bliss as you finally cum with a breathy moan. "That's it, so fucking stunning." Luke says as he strokes you through the aftershocks. Your legs are still shaking and your chest is still heaving when Luke lifts you again. "I'm not finished with you yet, but this next bit will be easier in the bathroom. So you have something to hold onto." He says carrying you into the bathroom. He sets you down facing the large mirror over the sink. "I'd do this in the bedroom but you won't be able to see yourself if I fuck you right up against the mirror." Luke says in your ear and the words send a shiver down your spine. "Place your hands on the mirror sweetheart. Let me show you how badly I crave every inch of you." He says with a hand stroking your ass. You lean forward enough for your warm hands to touch the cool glass. Your eyes follow Luke's in the mirror as they trail over your skin hungrily while he frees himself from his sweatpants. He wastes no time sinking into you with a groan and though he gave no warning you moan at the stretch of him filling you. The look on his face as he settles into your heat can only be described as euphoric and it's one you could never get tired of seeing on him. After a moment his eyes peel open again and catch yours in the reflection. He gives you a smirk before his hands tighten against your hips and he sets a rhythm that explains why you needed something to hold onto. His thrusts are harsh and deep and have moans spilling uncontrollably from your lips. Luke's eyes are locked on yours in the mirror as he fucks you. "God you're beautiful, perfect, you've got the- prettiest eyes that sparkle when you laugh, and look so good rolling back when I make you cum." He hums.
"Oh Luke." You moan part of that was sweet, part if it made your walls clench around his dick.
"You're perfectly soft for hugging or cuddling and it doesn't hurt that I have plenty to hold onto when I wanna fuck you stupid." Luke says and if he weren't currently doing just that you might've laughed at his words, but the moaning makes it hard. "If I could spend all my days wrapped in your arms, buried in your heat- you have no idea how quickly I'd do it." You can feel your cheeks heating up from his, mostly, sweet words, so contrasting from the way he's railing you. "God I love you so much." He groans.
"I- I love you too Luke, more than- more than you know." You pant out.
"Fuck I'm close." He grits out. One of his hands wraps around your waist and finds your clit. It doesn't take much, a few well focused circles of your sensitive bundle of nerves and you're shaking as your orgasm hits, your walls clamping down so tightly around Luke's dick it pulls his orgasm from him too. His hips stop flush against yours as hot spurts flood your inner walls. You practically slump against the bathroom counter as the waves of your release die down. You're not quite sure how he manages but Luke turns you around and lifts you in his arms again somehow without fully pulling out of you. He walks you both over to the bed and lays down with you on top of him, soft dick still buried in your heat. Luke lifts your head from his chest to get your attention.
"I love every part of you with all that I am." He says.
"Thank you. I love you too." You say softly.
"I know insecurities are no easy battle but, yours is a body the Greeks would build statues for. It pains me that you see yourself as less than idolized."
"I'll admit it's much harder to feel that way when you react like this."
"Well I'll just have to make a habit of it then." He kisses your forehead.
"I- can't say I'm opposed to that suggestion." You hum.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"And where we on food? Did your appetite come back any?" He asks, hand stroking soothingly down your back.
"Yeah but- I'm too tired to move." You mumble into his chest and he laughs.
"Don't worry I won't make you get up now. I'm sure after a nap your body will convince you to get up and eat, until then let's just lay here."
"Perfect that's exactly what I planned to do." You sigh as you snuggle closer to him. Maybe your insecurities will beat your ass every once in a while, but you smile knowing Luke will be there to fight them with you and that is more than enough for you.
***
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love-hs28 · 2 days
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You can let it out, I'm right here
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Having to stay after school for Chemistry help wasn't the most ideal situation to be in after having a bad day. And coming home to Peter being so nice makes it almost impossible to hold your emotions in. (This takes place in a universe where you and Peter are childhood best friends turned lovers. You've both lost your parents in the same accident and are currently both living with Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Not super important to the story, but still nice to know.)
CW: Reader has panic attack & cries a bunch Hurt/Comfort & Fluff Reader's gender isn't specified 1.3k Words Posted on 5-25-24
My third post, ahhhh!! I cannot thank you guys enough for the love I've seen so far on my first two posts. PLEASE lmk what else you'd like to see! I hope you enjoy this one!!
You had to stay after school one day to get some extra help with your chemistry homework. You didn’t struggle much in your classes, but for some reason, your chemistry class had been giving you absolute hell all semester. It never seemed like you could get the hang of it, and just when you were starting to think you were understanding what was going on, a new concept would be introduced and your progress would restart from the beginning. Peter usually helps you with any tough classwork because he always seems to know what the teacher is going to teach before class even starts, but this time your teacher insisted that you stay after so you could get some ‘real’ help, whatever that meant. You’re pretty sure that if she was actually able to teach you better than Peter could you would have already asked her for help, but whatever. 
You come home and slam the front door as you walk in. May and Ben are still at work and Peter is in the shed working on something for his suit, as he typically is after a school day. You kick your shoes off and angrily walk upstairs. Your bedroom door slams shut as you carelessly toss your backpack on the floor, sitting on the edge of your bed with your face in your hands. You’d felt anxious all day and having to stay after for fucking chemistry and still not understanding it definitely wasn’t helping. You try to control your breathing and just forget about the day and focus on the plans you had with Peter later. 
Out in the shed, Peter could sense that you were home, (he also heard the front door slam), which meant that he could also tell that you weren’t in the best state. He set aside his spidey stuff and made his way into the house and to your room. 
You hear a gentle knock on the door and Peter hesitantly saying your name. “Y/n? You in there?” 
You sigh and look up. “Yeah.” 
He cracks the door open and peaks in. “Can I come in?” 
You muster a smile, “Sure.” 
He comes in and shuts the door behind him. He gives a warm smile and comes over to give you a kiss and plops down next to you. 
“Hey bub. How was your day?” He absentmindedly rubs your knee with his hand. You know he already knows how your day went and is just trying to be nice. 
You sigh, “Shit. How was yours?” 
He frowns and tucks a hair behind your ear. “Mine was boring. Much better now though; why was it bad?” 
You sigh and stand up and begin to pace. “Well, as you know, I had to stay after for chem help and I’m sure you can guess how that went. I literally cannot fucking understand it no matter how hard I try and it gets so annoying because I’m good in like every other subject but that and I just don’t understand why.” You run your hands over your face and Peter is looking at you, concerned but attentive. “Not to mention the subway ride home was horrible; I had to sit across from this creepy fucking pedo who wouldn’t stop starting at me and he fucking winked at me when I got up to leave,” Tears start prickling in your eyes and your breathing gets heavy and uneasy. Peter notices this and you see that he’s about to get up and come over to you. “And to make it all worse, I saw a stray dog on the way home and he was just limping and I think he hurt his paw or something and I wanted to go help him but I didn’t know if he was a nice dog or whatever so I didn’t want to risk it but he looked so sad and helpless and I felt so bad and now I wanna go back and find him and help him or take him somewhere or something because it’s not fair that he has to be all alone and scared especially when it's getting so cold and I also think I’m about to start my period so that doesn’t fucking help and I’m just-” You’re fully crying now, on the verge of sobbing, and Peter comes over and wraps his arms around you. You bring your hands up to his chest and sob into his shirt while he gently rubs your back. 
He guides the two of you over to your bed and you sit down, your body turned into him and his arms still around you. “It’s okay, honey. Let it out, I got you.” 
You sob and your breath is coming in short gasps. Peter softly kisses your head over and over again to try and calm you down. 
“I’m s-sorry. I don’t know w-why I’m such a m-mess.” You grip his shirt as tears stream down your face. You can feel him shake his head and gently shush you. 
“Shh, don’t apologize. It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel this way, I’m right here.” 
You let out another sob because he’s being so nice and his hand that's not on your back comes up to brush your hair out of your face. As always, when the tears start to die down, the uneven breathing picks up. Peter knows this pattern by now, and rubs your back more firmly. 
“Deep breaths, baby. Follow my breathing, okay?” He exaggeratedly takes deep breaths while maintaining eye contact and you try your best to match the rise and fall of his chest, focusing on his heartbeat under your ear. 
When your breathing eventually slows down, you pull back a bit to sit more upright and rub your eyes, hiccuping. Peter gently puts a hand on the side of your face and tilts it so you’re looking at him. He has a sad but loving look in his eyes that almost makes you want to start crying again. He uses his thumb to gently wipe the remaining tears on your face and kisses your forehead. 
You lean your head to rest on his chest and he rests his head on top of yours. You take a few more deep breaths before leaning up again to look at him. He kisses your forehead once more and softly smiles. 
“Thank you,” you whisper, and wrap your arms around his neck for a hug. He holds you close to him as you breathe him in, the last step to really calming you down.
“Don’t thank me, Y/n/n. ‘s what I’m here for. I’m sorry your day was so shit, you don’t deserve that.” 
You lightly shrug and lean back to softly kiss his lips. “You made it better, it’s okay.”
He smiles and tucks a hair behind your ear. “If you want, we can postpone our date tonight and just stay in and watch a movie. Whatever you want.” 
You shake your head, “No, I think going out to do something will actually help. Get my mind off everything, y’know.” 
He smiles and nods. “Good, because I’ve got something planned that you’re gonna loooveeee,” He says teasingly, and you laugh as he moves you both in a lying position. 
“Oh really, what is it??” You rest your head on his chest and pull one of your legs up over his. He pulls the blanket over you two and takes your hand into his to play with his fingers. 
“Nope, sorry bug, it’s a surprise.” 
You giggle through your nose and snuggle into him. “Well, I’m very excited.” 
He kisses your head once more and you lay there for a bit while he plays with your hair and rubs your back, and you’re finally at peace. 
Hope you enjoyed! As always, please leave requests and such for me. Love you all <3
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campbenji · 11 hours
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*JWCT SPOILERS* very messy first thoughts
OH BOY here we go
-ben and darius's dynamic was epic. the hug. the roadtrip scenes. "is your friend okay?" "no 😊". ben getting darius out of his isolation cabin and darius grounding him in ep2. the parallels with s3ep7. "you kiss your mother with that mouth?" i'm gonna be thinking about that scene for days. their ship is still a swim to me but please they better keep whatever the fuck they have going on in s2 because it's fucking wonderful
-i love that they took the chance to give more light to duos we didn't see much in jwcc. teamups we didn't often see like ben and sammy, THE B-DUO, and darius and sammy got very special moments here
-the amount of pictures/videos from the six years in between??? the brooklynn flashbacks??? we were so well fed
-BRAND!!!!!! i got so happy when i heard him the first episode, he's clearly been checking on his brother and i'm glad he's ok
-bowman family FEAST. brand and darius talking over the phone. the pictures on the cabin. kenji saying he calls mrs. bowman once a week and all the nice things he said about her. the whole mess between kenji and darius. "we're brothers, right?" i died dead. i love this family your honor
-sammy. she's got so much going on and we desperately need to talk about it. i'm so worried about her, she's desperately trying to avoid confronting what happened with brooklynn, with yaz and her own trauma, and then they casually dropped on us that her family isn't speaking to her and never elaborated on that?? sammy, who's love and care for her family was her biggest motivation in jwcc?? i need to know what happened because it must've been big
-mateo!! i liked him a lot, he definitely doesn't want to get into any of this mess but still dabbles around a bit to help the kids, which i respect. also i hope we get to meet his daughter hiraya, she sounds really cool
-MS MICROBANGS (or the handler, or whatever name we're calling her). what is her deal. who is she working for. she's so uncanny, literally almost robotic i need to know more about her
-brookenji over i cheered. don't take this personally i've never been a fan of this ship and a part of me knew they weren't going to last long
-the animation increased in quality so much. the scene after ben, yaz and sammy get out of the sinking van is so well done it's so pretty to look at. and the t-rex with the explosion behind her? it reminds me so much of toro in the tunnels in s1ep8, and i haven't tested this out but i feel like if you put them one next to the other the improvement would be so noticeable.
-also related to the point above: that thing when a character's eyes start filling up with tears but they don't cry just yet? 10/10. chef's fucking kiss
-sure jwct has the same tv-y7 rating as jwcc, but from minute 1 it's obvious it's not the same audience they're talking to. it's not a big change in tone, like for example adventure time/distant lands/fionna and cake, but it's there, you can tell they know it's not little kids watching anymore
-BUMPY IS HAVING A BABY BUMPY IS A MOM NOW they had me shit scared for her and then they pulled a freaking egg my heart was literally pounding. anyways i hope they get both bumpy and the egg somewhere safe and that they name the new anky "speckles" (i've gotten so attached to that name in the last 24 hours it's insane)
-YASAMMY THE QUEENS THAT YOU ARE. their relationship was stellar this season, i was scared when i saw that they were apart but their issues felt organic to their relationship and i just love how they were written in the show, they are still so in love with each other and i can't wait to see where they go next season. they're everything to me
-yeah they were apart for half the season but. benji crumbs. the egg cradle scene. kenji helping ben after he got hit with the stun gun. basically all they did was act like they knew each other but idc. we are so back.
-the brooklynn reveal was... meh?? it could've been more rewarding if they waited until s2 to reveal she's still alive, but at least i hope they take their time before reuniting her with the rest of the camp fam. also i can't believe ppl even guessed what arm she was going to lose y'all have prophetic powers or smth
-bringing daniel back to kill him the same episode was an insane move btw. i would've normally complained but it's all worth it for causing the panic attack scene in ep7. kenji's reaction felt so genuine, i'm forever in awe at how well this show writes grief and trauma
-i'm so conflicted about darius's confession. i like dinostar, but i feel like it wasn't needed for darius to be in love with brooklynn to explain the voicemails and the way he was dealing with her death. she was one of his closest friends, his grief made sense even with them being platonic. on the other hand, i love how he admitted it to kenji and the fact they didn't turn it into a huge fight between them; also, "i didn't know i could even feel that way" aroace/acespec darius truthers never lose
-maybe it's just that i need to rewatch, but i'm lost as to where they're going next season?? i know they're getting on a boat but where does that go?? what are they trying to do?? there's so much happening my head is spinning
-ben... he kind of felt like the comic relief for most of the show, the first episodes showed him as being really paranoid again and struggling with being alone, but halfway through the season they just sort of forgot about it?? idk something was off
-bring back kenji's old latin spanish va idk who this guy is but that is not kenji i can't do this. i'll survive the loss of ryan potter but i won't survive this
anyways yeah i think those are most of my uncooked thoughts, overall i really liked the season, i can't believe we got to see the kids again this is still so unreal to me
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jomamaofficial · 2 days
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A Hero's Burden (Midoriya x GN!Reader Angst No Comfort Oneshot)
A/N: FIRST OF ALL, SPECIAL THANKS TO @caramello07, BECAUSE THIS ABSOLUTE LEGEND HAS BEEN HELPING ME CREATE THE PLOT AND BETAREADING MY WORK. LITERALLY, BESTIE, YOU'RE A REAL ONE 🫶🫶.
Hello hello my lovely readers! Thank you for being patient with me. My exams are around the corner so I have been so, so busy with that. But I always pop in to see you guys leave the most beautiful feedback and comments, it makes my day <3. I hope you enjoy this just as much as I did. I really put my heart and soul into this one. 
Please let me know whether I should lowkey create a YouTube channel where I read out my work the way I intended to. 
As always, my Ask Box is open for any requests or just a conversation. I absolutely adore all of you, and I want to take this time to thank you guys for your support. Seeing your comments and messages motivates me to write :) <3. Please remember to take care of yourselves, and enjoy. As always, I would love to see your thoughts in the comments :).
TW: Death and bleeding, SUICIDAL themes. 
CW: SPOILER: Season 6, Izuku’s Vigilante arc, swearing, difficult friendship dynamics.
Masterlist 
Word Count: 3242.
 Summary: Heroes always win. Every folktale, every comic, everything in our life tells us the same thing: good reigns over evil. But the harsh truth comes crashing down in a dark warehouse, where the facade of invincibility crumbles. Amidst the shadows, surrounded by those who once vowed to protect, you can only helplessly watch as your best friend, Midoriya Izuku destroys himself under the weight of this flawed, and broken system. With the entire hero society relying on him, how can he stop giving everything he has? In a world where heroes are human and kindness is a liability. You try to help him, yet even the strongest bonds can shatter under the weight of despair. 
——————————————————————————————————
How does it feel? 
When everything in front of you disintegrates into pieces, whilst you can only sit there and watch? 
It feels like a dark warehouse. Cold and wet. 
Sunken in, casting a dark shadow, impersonating the night sky, your eyelids were heavy, succumbing to the shared lethargy that lurked in the heavy air. Your brain did not allow you to rest however, listening only to your palpitating heart, because what if the villains found you whilst you were fast asleep?
Heroes were there to protect you. 
But why were you still so afraid? The nation's best heroes had congregated together, sharing the same space as you, breathing the same air as you.
They would never let harm come your way– it was their duty to protect you.
So why were they hiding from that harm, sitting with their knees held close to their chest?
Heroes were there to protect you, but that claim was voiceless in the presence of reality: heroes were hidden– whispering and begging the ground to stay silent as they shuffled in the shadows. Villains ran loose– mocking the hopeless souls that they trampled on, with every free, and unabashed step they took.  
Death had not only taken  multiple heroes on the battlefield; it had also snatched their facade. 
They were not invincible. They were not untouchable. 
The world had just forgotten that their heroes were only human after all. 
A phone rang. 
Roaming eyes halted. They could not speak. 
“It’s mine”, Hawks said. 
Breaths were held. 
“It’s from All Might”. 
You leaned in closer. 
“Midoriya-kun came into contact with the second hired gun.”
Your chest ceased to move. 
“...and he won instantly.” 
-
“Young man-”
“He didn’t have any information.”
The sky wept. 
The moon and stars had masked themselves under the darkness   that shrouded the city. If they could not see you, they could not harm you. 
Toshinori Yagi had just watched the last remains of Midoriya Izuku’s innocence drain into the gutters of Musutafu. 
“He might explode too. Be careful.” 
He felt the impact of his student’s departure faster than he could comprehend. Therefore he took the chance to call after Midoriya, summoning the scarce energy he had left, ignoring the rising threat in his weak chest, which was ready to surrender to the bloody phlegm building inside of him. 
“Wait a minute!” Toshinori ran after him– though Midoriya had only moved for a second. 
“Food!” he gasped, his hands lifting a box wrapped in a blue cloth. ““Please, my son, you haven’t eaten…” 
His hands tightly grasped around the soft, crisp fabric that was decorated with orange carrots, and white bunnies with pink noses. When he first saw it, Toshinori chuckled to himself before deciding to buy it– this was made for Midoriya, his rising hero, the purest of hearts. 
“All Might.” Midoriya did not look back. “I’m fine now. You don’t have to follow me.” 
Toshinori’s shoulders slumped down and his brows lowered, pulling closer together. Midoriya was walking away from him without a second glance. 
Midoriya had not met his eyes once today. 
“I am fine now.” The wind howled louder than his voice, unconvinced. 
“Young Midoriya, please...”
The energy around Midoriya had increased, visible power– venomous and hostile– overflowing from his tense body that was moments away from breaking. 
Toshinori had to stop him. Or history would repeat itself.
“Midoriya, please, don’t d-”
“I can move at the same level as your 100%...” Midoriya whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. “You don’t have to worry…” 
His tattered clothes soaked in the rain, his sound of his heavy steps getting quieter and quieter.
“Please”, Toshinori begged, “wait a minute…” 
But before he could finish his heart’s plea, the one who it was meant for had already left, pushing everything away, leaving everyone he had burdened in the dust. 
The lunch that his mentor had lovingly made for him now belonged to the sidewalk and the merciless rain. Soon, it would also flow into the gutters of Musutafu. 
-
The warehouse door crashed open. 
“Midoriya is nowhere to be found!” 
All Might ran in, his hands against his knees, gasping for the still and stale air. 
“He-” he huffed again, regaining his breath,” he, he left… I tried to contact him. Phone… off… he’s nowhere to be found… sent class after him… didn’t find him either” 
Your eyes twitched at the blank stares that his words had harboured. No one batted an eye. 
They were too busy counting the days until they would be found by the real threat. 
All Might’s concern for Midoriya ran thicker than blood. And had you looked past those deep-set eyes, you would have noticed the faint veins that bordered his gaze; something was stolen from him. Midoriya had been stolen by the expectations of the world, held hostage in his own mind. 
“I know where he is.” 
-
Orudera Chūgakkō. Memories had been etched into the red brick walls. You pushed against that same black gate, its groans and creaks forming the haunting symphony that would promptly begin at eight o'clock sharp. 
Lessons would start at eight-thirty, and the low murmurs of the class would subside as your sensei would come in, dropping her bags next to her desk. You would all stand up together, reciting the same monotonous ‘Good Morning Shima-Sensei’ before sitting back down. If she was in a good mood, the class would commence. But if she was (more likely than not) in a bad mood, the entire class would get a scolding.
“You cannot wish your teacher a pleasant good morning, but you can chat to your friends with double the energy?! Do that again. Now! Show me some respect.” And you would all stand for another five minutes, smirking and giggling, repeating it again. 
What once felt like a tedious task now brought a smile to your face as you reminisced about the moments spent in the classroom before you.
Birds would chirp, filling the classroom with a sonorous melody. The walls would be  decorated by the younger children who drew rainbows and flowers and butterflies with every colour they could get their hands on. There wasn’t a speck of grey or black found in these drawings.
It was so fun to be a child– just a few years ago, your life was filled with colour.  
Everything now was grey and bare. 
At ten o’clock, the bell would ring and children would scream as they ran towards their friends, ignoring the poor teachers who repeated: “children, please don’t run in the hallways, children please, you may get hurt!” 
The large corridor was so full with a sea of chuckles and laughter.
Today, undisturbed dirt coated every surface on the corridor. A desolate strip led down to the most frequented stairs of your past. Its laborious steps led to a place that no student visited as much as you did. On the sixth floor, the rooftop brought you closer to the blue sky and the fluffy clouds. You and the sun would overlook the vast plains of never ending buildings, glistening under the morning glow. People would walk, cars would drive; the hustle and bustle of everyday life resided on the grounds below you. So how could anyone truly feel alone? How could anyone ignore the true beauty of your favourite spot in the whole school?
You now understood that beauty was in the eye of the beholder– the painful truth. 
Sleepless nights were spent wondering, what would have happened if you did not visit the rooftop on one particular day? What would have happened to the nameless boy who had stood there, head hanging low, body quivering, feet on the ledge of railings. 
Who could have guessed that this stranger would end up as the only friend you ever had? 
You could recognise him in total darkness and in different bodies, for Midoriya Izuku’s pure heart could never change. It would always draw you towards him. 
You ran up the swindling stairs, the steps leading up to the sixth floor seeming longer and steeper than before. Serenity only belonged to the past– this place brought nothing but a looming sense of dread, weighing you down as time ticked by.  
The closer you got, the weaker your heart felt. You had read about it somewhere– our bodies always knew what would happen, so they could prepare us for the worst. 
But the thought of losing him before you could see his eyes, your beacon of light and hope, would rend a part of you forever. 
So you carried on walking, ignoring the foreboding pricks cultivating in your body.
Those eyes… you could not live without them. They were an open window into the bright and welcoming flame that resided within him. He would give warmth to those who needed it without asking, never expecting anything in return. 
Kindness had no price.
So Midoriya Izuku would live with kindness in his heart, even if it meant that it would be vulnerable and open for everyone to use as they pleased. 
Midoriya Izuku was priceless. There was no one like him in this world filled with deceit and hate. But the world did not like those who were different from the rest.  
He gave and he gave. Yet what would happen when he gave every piece of himself to a world that never gave back? What would happen if he finally had nothing to give apart from his soul?
The world is cruel. 
They would steal everything he had. And that is how you found him, through the already opened door, standing under the thundering sky that showed no forgiveness to the young man who would once smile at them too. 
Tip tap, tip tap, your eyes were blurry, but not from the rain. They had betrayed you, yes your gaze. For the man in front of you was not the man whom your heart could recognise from afar. You were so close, yet your hearts held distances, akin to the stars. Blood wept, following the course of the pouring water, revealing wounds, neglected but vain. They cried for attention they would never get, as the man who was once a stranger, had become estranged from them. 
“Deku…” you did not want him to turn around, praying for this to be a mistake. FOr him to look confused, asking you, “who’s Deku?” 
This can’t be your Deku… he couldn’t be your priceless hero…
His head barely turned, but you caught a glimpse of his glowering eyes. 
They donned an arcane mask of toughness. His front, unbreakable on the surface, yet unfortunately flawed. You could see right through it, uncovering the secrets that he hid in plain sight. 
Immense pain had found an abode in his glassy, teal eyes; exhaustion chipped away at the shell that kept him put up to protect himself from the looming danger that would attack as soon as it smelt his foetid weakness. Midoriya let it happen once, jeopardising everyone around him. 
He wasn’t going to let it happen again. 
“Go away,” Midoriya cautioned. 
His heart expended too much energy pushing everyone away. He could only hope that you would listen to him– he didn’t want to hurt you. 
“Deku…” you pleaded, eyes misting over as you cautiously step forward, hands stretching wearily towards his shoulders, taking care not to brush past those fresh, untended marks that showed through the rips and tears in his clothes. 
“Please Deku… let me help you.”
Midoriya stiffened under your touch, guilt overtaking his body. 
You couldn’t be seen with him.
The eyes. They were everywhere. 
They tracked his every move. And if they saw you now, he would never see you again. 
You felt a strong jolt push you back into the wall, your head crashing against the stone walls, losing your grip on him completely. Your hands felt empty– he had disappeared from under your touch. 
And it all happened so fast. 
Midoriya stared at his hands, his blood fleeing from his extremities. The realisation slowly dawned upon him, raising his heart beat, shifting the energy around him– he was a monster. Mioriya began gasping for air, choking on his own spit and tears, his vision tunnelled in on the surface of his palms.
A monster.
That’s what he was. 
Your body lay limp in the rubble of concrete and dust, you swore you felt something wet on the back of your head, but your eyes urgently searched for Midoriya, who was pale and frozen near the edge of the roof. 
His feet began to sway, and his eyes began to flutter shut. You overlooked the jolts in your body for your mind could not bear this sight again. Despite the clear warnings your aching flesh had given you to rest, you still ran towards him, clutching his body before he fell onto the ground.
Only in your arms had the outer shell of this vigilante’s stone defence fallen, emerging a broken child who had just caused immense pain to his best friend. 
“I’m so sorry”, he whispered through his dried throat, quivering as the walls in his mind closed in on him. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry”, he repeated, again and again, trapped in a cyclical doom which served only to condemn him. 
He was a monster– that depraved voice screamed. 
He was a monster– that depraved voice echoed as it stalked him in the depths of his own mind, following him into his deepest, intimate fears. Clutching it, taking over.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…
He was disturbingly light in your arms; you just noticed his hollowed cheeks. 
Midoriya’s strained forehead loosened as he broke down in your hold, tears running down his thinning face. Your heart beat alongside his, yet you did not dare to glance into his emerald eyes, for they had been robbed of their precious shine. You placed your finger over his mouth as he opened it to say something, a silent reminder– everything will be alright. 
“Give me your pain, Deku, please…” you begged, stroking his curly hair away from his eyes. “I can’t see you like this anymore”. 
A singular tear dropped on his cheek, stinging him with regret. 
“You don’t have to carry that burden alone, Deku… It’s too big… too big to carry alone. You give too much, you don’t know when to rest. You break yourself, for people who don’t deserve it and you take on things bigger than you can ever manage! You think you can do everything Deku, but you can’t!” you cried, unable to stop. 
“You don’t need to work this hard, Deku, you don’t. You’re forgetting who you were, Deku. You’re not indestructible! You’re not untouchable, you’re not All Might! You can get hurt, you- you can bleed, you can die for god’s sake, Deku, you can die!” 
Your voice began raising uncontrollably, as you held his face, shaking him. 
“You’re just a kid, Deku. My Deku… the sweet boy who I love. My best friend…” you grabbed his hands, squeezing them as you took deep breaths, your throat aching.  
“But you’re unrecognisable now… You’re destroying yourself thinki- thinking that you’ll survive but what if you don’t. What if you don’t survive, and all of your friends, your teachers, your mom, they’re all just waiting for you to come back.”
Your eyes solemnly scanned his wrist, eyebrows furrowed and lowered. A litany of cuts, healed and unhealed, adorned his wrists, glaring at you. Your trembling fingers gently ran over them, hovering so as to not agitate them. 
“But since you wanted to prove that you’re a hero, you go around picking fights that you can’t win.”
The scars on his wrist opened wounds of the past.  
Your hands that held his wrist felt empty again. Midoriya averted his eyes from yours, before pulling his sleeves down, stretching the thinning material of his hero-suit, until it covered his exposed skin. 
The rain’s sobbing grew louder with every moment that passed by in dismal silence.
“What would you even know about my life, Y/N?" he asked, his voice drowning in the cacophony of the storm. 
Just like that, all of the progress you made had collapsed in front of your eyes. Midoriya had rebuilt the cage around his heart
“Deku, what happened?” 
Your hands, which reached out for him, were immediately shaken off.
“What would you know about my life? About my struggles?” 
His legs faltered when he tried to run away, cramping as a warning: Midoriya couldn’t move, he had used up all of his energy. 
“Deku plea-” 
“You said what you wanted to say, Y/N. Thanks for reminding me that I can’t let my guard down, even near people I thought I could trust. I’m not ‘indestructible’, I’m not All Might, I never claimed that. But unlike you, I have the world's burden around my shoulders. If you were putting everyone around you in danger, you'd run away too Y/N. But you wouldn’t know that because you're not the one giving everything your body can give, just to find out it's never going to be enough. You’re not the reason this entire city has turned into a ghost town. But what would you know, Y/N?”
He turned around, gaze hardened into stone. 
“You're quirkless".
Blood rushed into your cheeks, your heart beating fast. 
You must have misheard. 
“You don’t mean that…” 
He didn’t. The sweet boy you had met years ago on this same rooftop would never use that against you. He didn’t mean it. 
"Now, I know why I was treated the way I was when I was younger, Y/N. The quirkless really don't know anything."
You couldn't have misheard that. 
You had been beside his side to see every intimate detail in Midoriya’s life– every victory, every laughter, you celebrated together. Every shove and every taunt, you endured together. 
-
“The Quirkless Duo, aw what are you going to do now? Cry?” 
“I wonder how your parents feel, only having one useless kid that can never protect them.” 
“Ya’ know, if you want a quirk, there might be another way. Take a swan dive off the roof of the building, and pray for a quirk in your next life." 
-
We are born into this world completely alone. And we die in this world completely alone. 
Only fools believe that they can escape that. 
‘What would you know, Y/N, you're quirkless.’
You were truly alone in every stage of your life. 
"You're becoming exactly what we feared, Midoriya.”
He stopped in his tracks, swallowing the rising bile that crept up his throat.
“If I knew this is what I'd get after standing up for you those countless times where I got hurt, where I got kicked and punched and teased everytime I defended you, I would have just let you jump off that roof.”
The wind wailed through the night sky, moving everything in its path. 
“You're no hero Midoriya. But you’re right about one thing. You’re the fucking reason everything around you is getting destroyed.” 
It was funny to think that their first and last meeting would be on this rooftop. 
Midoriya looked at the world, greyer than it had ever been. 
It had lost life.
He waited until he heard the door shut behind him.
This life truly had nothing to live for.
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teddynivvy · 3 days
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heyhey queen!!
im pretty new to your page, absolutely love your writing already, one of my fav writers on tumblr right now 🤭🤭🥰🥰
i was wondering if you could write something about bestfriend!ted? Maybe we just went on a crappy date with an asshole and Ted’s comforting us abt it? I’m such a sucker for best friends to lovers tropes 😤😤
anyway i hope you have a wonderful day, keep up the amazing work and remember to drink your water and eat your pasta <333
hehehe thank u so much <3 i’m glad u enjoy my writing!! best friend!ted who has a crush on u would be so…….. i’m losing my mind
#1 most respectful person ever. like even tho he has a crush on u he doesn’t show it and treats you like a bestie, so u can talk to him about literally anything
and when you tell him you’re tired of being single and wanna start dating, he supports u, even tho he wishes u would just date him!!!
secretly you have a crush on him too, but you don’t wanna ruin your friendship, so you don’t talk about it and have been trying to find someone else
listens to ur crappy date stories and laughs when ur potential partners do something stupid, basically being ur rock through it all
after one particularly bad date, when the person u met was actually just a huge asshole, you end up going to ted’s place for comfort
you’re laying on his couch, with a pint of ice cream shared between you while you recount the whole thing
ted’s listening intently, silently brooding bc he’s mad someone would treat u so badly when he’s so lovesick :(
“i just wish i could find someone who appreciated me” and you’re actually sad bc it feels like no one is out there for u
he pulls you into a big hug and rubs your back, feeling you against him and wishing so bad you’d just kiss him
“i’m not like totally unloveable, am i?” you laugh with him, feeling tears brim your eyes but you suck them back
ted’s face immediately falls, feeling so sad you’d even think that, and immediately launches into a rant about how cool and fun you are
pretty much years of pent up emotion just coming out bc he finally gets to tell u his feelings
you just stare bc he’s basically admitting all the things he thinks about u, not knowing it’s reciprocated
and when he finally stops talking he realizes he’s basically just admitted to having a huge crush on you basically forever
“oh god, sorry, i didn’t mean to…”
and you just smile and pull on the collar of his t-shirt to kiss him soooo hard because you’ve been waiting so long for it too
he tastes like ice cream and his lips are cold and you can’t get enough of him
and when you finally pull away he’s all blushed and confused
and you’re just like “i’ve had a crush on you forever. sorry i didn’t say it earlier i guess.”
and he just beams at you before coming in for another kiss :’)
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A/N ::: I'm just going to come right out and say it, I love Kafka Hibino. He's so goddamn cute that I literally want to just eat him alive. This is my first time writing for him - though I've been thinking about it for ages. I hope you like it, @supersecretsaga And I apologize, I'm wholly incapable of writing without it exceeding 1k words. So, SORRY. I proofed this once on google docs and that's all I have in me today. Any gross errors that look like I didn't mean to do them, message me!
C/W ::: Human Kafka, F.reader, not a lot of swearing. I just don't get the sense that Kafka would swear unnecessarily. Maybe I'm wrong. My perception will probably change. Really, who cares. Um, P->V (unprotected), jumping the relationship gun (but, with him, I would, too.)
WC ::: 3,094 (about 7 3/4 pages on G-Docs).
MDNI UNDER THE CUT
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Kafka Hibino was simple, through and through. But when he met you that day in the hospital, his whole life changed. He knew he'd never be the same man he was before he was admitted.
You're a nurse. You were great at your job, and you knew it. Though the first time you saw that big, dumb puppy-energy-giving man, you knew that you were a goner, as well.
He was admitted around 2 am. Settled in around 5 am. He was in a lot of pain from the fight he'd gotten into with the Kaiju around midnight. He had 2 broken arms, bruised ribs. A number of different things had happened to him.
Kafka would be in good hands, though. Really, really good hands.
Your hands.
**** 7:30 am ****
"Oh- oh my god. What was THAT!?" You pulled your hand from the large porcelain tub in his bathroom and squeezed the sponge out over his short dark hair.
Giggling, you blinked slowly because you couldn't deny the warmth that was spreading throughout your whole body. And not just between your thighs. No, this was something else entirely. His stupid haircut, his kind eyes and dumbass smile were hammering their way through your boundaries. The same boundaries you'd worked so hard over the years to build to not get emotionally attached to patients.
"You're an idiot, Mr. Hibino. A complete moron. Have you never been bathed before? That was just a little something extra to help loosen up your muscles, a quick massage. My goodness. It's as if you've never been pampered." You stood from where you were on your knees on the floor and shook your hands out, purposely getting water on his face - you hoped in his eyes - so you would have a reason to gingerly wipe it dry.
"Call me Kafka," he said, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you grab the towel and stand over him.
"What?" You were confused. You didn't realize he'd been asking you something.
"Call me Kafka. It's my name, yeah?" He sounded so serious, so sincere. You nodded and wiped his face with the towel, noticing the small wrinkles as he smiled up at you.
Fuck. He's adorable and you're finding it harder and harder to stay professional.
"No. Your name is Mr. Hibino and that's what I'll be calling you. Ok? Mr. Hibino? Now, let's finish this bath and get you back in bed. The doctor will be coming by soon to check on you and he can give you another massage if you need it." You moved your hands to his shoulders, gently massaging them as you continued talking. "You've been through a lot, Mr. Hibino. Your body needs to heal."
He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back against the tub.
You kept massaging him, not stopping until he was almost asleep.
This sweet, gentle man, had a power over you that no one else did. And you weren't sure how to deal with it.
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Quite a while later (sorry, storyline faux pas - I didn’t take into account healing time. But let’s just say that because he’s part Kaiju that he heals exceptionally fast. Ok? Ok!)*****
**** 1 month later, 10 pm ****
You hadn't seen Kafka since the morning bath you'd given him. He was discharged and sent home to continue his recovery. As a nurse, you knew he would be alright. But as a woman, you were left feeling empty and wanting more of him.
You were home that night, exhausted, but unable to sleep. You tried to keep your thoughts away from the big, gentle man who had stolen your heart with his kind words and warm smile, but it was impossible.
Your mind drifted to the way he looked at you as you bathed him.
How his body was perfectly balanced between the hard muscles he'd earned in his training and the slight squish around his mid-section that you wanted nothing more than to run your fingertips over.
His arms were thick and strong. Yet not battle-worn. He didn't have too many scars, though they'd have only added to his appeal.
His legs were muscular, too. Thick and strong, like his arms. His thighs were something else, something you found yourself daydreaming about wrapping your own legs around.
You wondered what his cock would feel like inside of you. You snuck a glance when he was in the tub. You knew his eyes were closed when you looked at it, bobbing away in the water. You're certain he was hard. Otherwise, you prayed he wasn't a grower because any more than that and you'd be the one being admitted to the hospital.
You thought about his hands on your body, squeezing your breasts and sliding between your thighs. You imagined what it would be like to feel his fingers inside of you, massaging you and bringing you to orgasm faster than you could imagine.
You rubbed your clit slowly, gently. You couldn't bring yourself to fuck yourself with a vibrator or even your own fingers. You didn't want to give yourself that much pleasure. 
You wanted it to be Kafka.
You wanted him to be the one to take you, to fuck you, to make love to you.
You rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face into your pillow as you yelled out in frustration.
"This is ridiculous. This is so stupid. I - I'm not some teenager who can't control herself." You stood and walked to your closet, grabbing some comfortable clothes and your purse and left for the mini mart down the street from your house. 
Chocolate was the next best thing you could think of. Other than, of course, Kafka running his hands all over your body. But what are the chances of that.
What are the chances of that?
The night air was cool against your skin. A nice contrast to the heat you'd built up while thinking about him.
You grabbed a pint of chocolate ice cream and began walking back home.
You felt better, slightly, but still very much wanting.
**** 10:30 pm ****
You were halfway through your pint and the movie when you heard a knock on your front door. "Coming, hold on, please." You walked to the door and looked through your peephole to see who it was. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me. What on earth are you doing here, Mr. Hibino?" The smile on your face was causing the back of your head to strain. You couldn't hide that you felt like your prayers had been answered all at once. But at the same time, you didn't want Kafka to see this look of bliss on your flushed face.
"Call me Kafka," he said softly, leaning against the doorway and smiling back at you. "And I wanted to see you again. May I? Come in, I mean. Please?"
You stepped aside and let him in, closing the door behind him.
You watched as he looked around your living room. You could tell he was a little nervous, but so were you.
You'd never felt this way about a patient before. Ex-patient, you had to remind yourself. He was no longer under your care. 
"Ok, Kafka." He smiled at the way you said his name. He'd never heard anything like it before. "Would you like some ice cream? I was just sitting here, eating some, watching a bad movie." You chuckled, showing him the container and spoon.
"Sure. I'd love some." He sat down right in the middle of your couch, and you sat next to him.
You handed him the ice cream and he dug in.
You both ate in silence for a few minutes until he said, "This is good."
You nodded and smiled. "It is. Sometimes chocolate, um, well, sometimes it's the only thing that helps. Y'know?" You looked at him, noticing the way his lips had turned up into a smirk. "What? What did I say?"
"Nothing, nothing. You're just ... you just ... h-here. Can I? There's a little bit of ... right ..." He swiped his thumb across your bottom lip so slowly and then sucked the ice cream off. "... there. You just had a little on your lip. 'S gone now."
You weren't sure what to do. Your body was telling you to jump on him and fuck him until neither of you could walk. Your brain was telling you to wait and see what other kind of sweet nothings he'd do for you. 
So, you waited. You had no idea your self-control was this well-honed. Again, you’d never been tested like this before.
But Kafka was different.
"You're beautiful, y'know." He whispered, looking at the floor like he was trying to burn holes in it with his eyes. He turned his head, leaning in a little bit closer than you were to him at the hospital. His hand moved to rest on your knee. And he said, "I've never met anyone like you before. I thought I was just going lay in the hospital bed until I was better. But you showed me kindness and care. I know you were just doing your job, but I'm grateful that you were there. That you were … you."
You didn't say anything. You were too busy trying to keep your heart from leaping out of your chest. You're sure if he'd looked, he'd see your tits jumping ever so slightly from the heaviness of the beating.
"Thank you for that. Thank you for everything you've done for me, Miss. I don’t know your first name. I’m embarrassed at how many ‘L/N’ households I went to looking for you.”
Your hand shot up to cover the smile that immediately bloomed across your lips. "That's not important. It's Y/N. And you're welcome. I'm happy I was able to help you. I didn't expect you to come here, though. I'm glad you did." You shifted, moving your knee so that your legs were touching. He didn't move his hand. He held it there, squeezing your knee gently.
"I didn't think I'd come here either. But I couldn't stop thinking about you. I know it's not appropriate for me to be here, but I had to see you again. I wanted to say thank you, in person." He turned his head and looked at you. You leaned in closer to him, your noses almost touching. "And maybe something else. Something that would make you feel as special as you made me feel when you took care of me."
You were so close to him you could feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. He smelled like the air before a storm, and whiskey. But a little liquid courage never killed anyone.
"Kafka," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face. You were fidgeting with a small piece of his hair as you rest your forehead against his. "Kafka. I ..."
He sat up abruptly, "Oh shit! You're not married, are you? I should have asked, I'm so sorry for showing up here so late. Without any warning." He bowed to you and started for the door.
"Kafka! I'm not married. I'm not even seeing anyone right now. Please, come back. Come sit." You stood and took his hand, leading him back to the couch. "I was going to say I've never felt this way about a patient before. You make me feel like there's something more to life than just my job."
He looked at you, his eyes searching yours for any signs of dishonesty. He couldn't find any. "So, you don't mind me coming here?"
You shook your head. "I don't mind you coming here at all. I'm glad you did. I was just surprised, that's all. Please don't leave. Not yet." You held his hand tighter and urged him back down on the couch with you.
Pulling him back in, kissing him gently on the lips. "I've been wanting you to do that since the first time I saw you, too. But you in terrible pain when you came in. How did you have the presence of mind to want to kiss me when you were so badly beaten up?"
He laughed, "I wasn't beaten up, per se. I just didn't come out on top." He paused for a second, and then continued, "And the pain wasn't as bad as you think. I'm used to it. It's a part of my job. But being here with you, it's like I can forget all of that. And just be me. Kafka. Nothing else."
You leaned in and kissed him again, this time with more urgency. His lips parted slightly, and you could taste the chocolate on his tongue. You moaned softly, shifting so that your legs were wrapped around him. He pulled you onto his lap, and you straddled him, grinding yourself against his crotch.
"Oh my god," he moaned, pulling back slightly and looking into your eyes. "Y/N. You're so beautiful." He reached up and touched your cheek with his thumb, rubbing it gently.
You pulled his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. His chest was chiseled and smooth, his abs flexing slightly under his cute belly as he breathed heavily.
You ran your hands over his shoulders and down his back, feeling every muscle and every scar. You kissed his neck, biting it gently and sucking on his skin. "Kafka, I want you. I want you so much."
He pulled your shirt off and threw it next to his. "I'm gonna make you feel so good that you'll forget all about chocolate."
You stopped, pulling back from his face, and you laughed so hard for the first time in ages. "Oh, that might be the most serious thing anyone has ever said to me. Challenge accepted!"
He pulled you back into him and kissed you, his hands reaching around to squeeze your ass as you ground yourself against him. He picked you up and carried you to your bedroom, gently laying you on the bed before climbing on top of you.
You unclasped your bra and tossed it to the floor, allowing him to see your breasts. He gasped as quietly as he could manage, running his hands over them and squeezing them gently. "You're so beautiful. You know that?"
He leaned down and took a nipple in his mouth, sucking on it gently as his fingers worked at your pants. He slid them off, revealing your black lace panties. You'd never felt so exposed in your life. And you loved it.
"Kafka, please," you moaned as he sucked harder on your nipple, his hand moving down to rub your clit through your panties. "Please fuck me. I need you. I need you so bad."
He pulled back, looking at your face. "You want me to fuck you? You want me to make you cum? Oh-hoh baby, I will. I might even cum before you do! But don't lose faith. It's just, well, it's been a while? I guess? But that's not important right now." He leaned in and kissed you again, biting your bottom lip and sucking on it gently.
"It's ok, Kafka. I want you. I don't care if you cum before me. I just want you inside me. Please, please." You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You couldn't believe you were begging like this, but you didn't care. You wanted him so badly.
He nodded and pulled your panties off, throwing them to the floor. He pushed his own pants down and pulled his boxers off with them, his cock set free.
You gasped at the sight. It was so much more than what you saw when he was in the tub. "Jesus, I-"
He looked down, "Oh. That?" He turned his head away, "Yeah, sorry. I'm sure you've seen um, better? But I make up for it in other ways! I promise, y/n. Just give me a chance."
You shook your head and smiled, "That's not at all what I'm trying to say here. There's not a doubt in my mind you won't fuck me stupid, Kafka." You giggled and reached your arms out to pull him down against you.
He positioned himself between your legs, rubbing the tip of his cock against your clit as he kissed your neck.
You moaned, "Ohhh, fuck. Yes. Do that." Your hand moved to his ass, squeezing it as he rocked against you.
He pushed himself inside of you slowly, stretching you out as he went. The slight sting you noticed dissipated as quickly as the onset. You moaned, your nails digging into his back as he started to thrust faster. "Kafka, oh my god. That feels so fucking good. More. I want more,  please."
He grunted, his cock sliding in and out of you as you arched your back, grinding yourself against him. He sucked on your nipple again, his tongue flicking over it as he fucked you harder and faster.
You couldn't believe how much he was making you feel. You hadn't had sex in so long, but this was different. This was something else entirely. He was with you. He wasn't just there to get himself off. You'd been with guys like that before and they, more often than not, left you with a (literal) bad taste in your mouth.
Your breathing quickened, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. And the closer you got, the harder your nails dug into his muscular back. "Kaf-hoh shit. Y-that ... pl- fuck. 'M gonna cum ... very … very soon."
He pulled back slightly, looking at your face as you bit your lip, your eyes rolling back. "Me too, baby. Me too. You're so tight, and you feel so good. I can't believe I'm inside of you. Fuck. I'm gonna cum, Y/N. Oh shit, I'm gonna cum." He grunted again, his cock twitching inside of you as he came hard, filling you up.
You came with him, your pussy squeezing around his cock as he kept fucking you, slowing his thrusts until he stopped completely.
"Fuck," you whispered, reaching up and touching his face gently. "Kafka."
He smiled and kissed you softly. "RIGHT!?" 
You laughed through a yawn at the energy he had when you first met. “Stay? Stay with me. I don’t want you to go. Tonight. Ever.” 
He held you close to him, kissing the top of your head and brushing your hair down as you drifted off to sleep against his warm chest.
"Just try’n get rid of me, y/n." 
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@darkstarlight82 @katkusuo @kazutora-kurokawa
@arlerts-angel @southside-otaku @trevengersprincess
@bakubunny @reiners-milkbiddies
***If you guys absolutely hate this anime or don't give a shit, please please let me know so I don't keep writing and tagging you in stuff you don't care about! Thanks, mooties! <3***
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tenebrous-academic · 3 days
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I really want to see what bt fans see because idk about buddie rn but I'm genuinely getting stuck on the lack of scenes 😭 like buck is getting love and validation enough from tommy to not need it from bobby, that sounds right but I haven't felt like I've *seen* it a lot and I want toooo. help
No because that’s so valid. The lack of scenes are also killing me. We’re literally working off of crumbs and context clues here and it’s not easy. However, their chemistry is amazing on screen and their scenes together are providing a great foundation for a solid relationship, which is really important.
(Also, I think what makes Tommy so special is the work both the fans and Lou are putting into it. We’ve gotten some really great insights about Tommy from Lou’s cameos and that’s been helpful in building out his character).
I think the reason it’s getting so popular is the sheer potential of it all. We can see their end game and it’s beautiful. If done correctly. Right now, a lot of this is taking the scraps we’re given from canon and running with it. Which is what Buddie fans have been doing for years (couch and colour theories come to mind). And I think that can lead to disappointment or confusion when the headcanons and theories we develop between episodes don’t happen. I saw so many people writing about how they hope Buck was the one to confront Captain Gerrard and protect Tommy, or Tommy swooping in to make a public claim on Buck just to rub it in to his old captain’s face. And neither of those events happened, which can leave fans feeling like nothing happened and like nothing is being shown of their relationship. So, instead, what we have to do is analyze the fuck out of what did happen and fill in the gaps we’re not shown from there.
It’s not easy, and a lot of people are going to dismiss Tevan as an unimportant ship because we’re not being shown so much of it. And they have every right to do so. But I think the fun of it is in creating something so full and engaging from the little that we’re shown. The A03 stats on this ship are insane in how fast it’s growing. It’s nowhere near Buddie, but we literally only have single digit episodes compared to multiple seasons.
I think, at the end of the day, it’s about if you want to invest in the potential of something beautiful, or if you want to wait until you see it on screen and have it shown to you. Both choices are valid!
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cerise-on-top · 3 months
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Hiiiiiiiii how are you? Id like to request a farah with a extremely hyper energetic and bubbly reader🫶🏻🫶🏻
Hello! I'm doing fine! I went to my country house for the first time this year and grilled some sausages and meat with my parents, so I had a pretty good day today!
Farah with an Energetic and Bubbly Reader
It would most definitely be different from what she’s used to, being surrounded by serious, and mostly grumpy people at all times. But it’s not like you could blame them either, they’re at war and need to be alert, not having the time to be cheerful. SO having you along is definitely a breath of fresh air. Someone, who doesn’t think of all the bad things that could happen at any point in time. You’re always up for an adventure, even if Farah doesn’t always have the time for them. Don’t get me wrong, she’d love nothing more than to explore the world with you, go inside every forest and every cave just to see some cute animals and maybe pet them, but she can’t unfortunately. Even so, she can appreciate you being this bubbly, it’s nice. You may talk a lot, but that’s alright, sometimes she’s too tired to talk anyway and lets you take the lead. Not having to think about all the godawful things war brings with it for a few moments is nice, especially if it’s because of a loved one. Besides, you’re always in a good mood, and it rubs off on her as well, leaving her smiling and thinking about the time you pet a cat and ushered her to do the same as you held the mammal out towards her. You having a lot of energy can be a bit exhausting to her at times, though. Sometimes, when she’s tired, she just wants to rest a bit, but you always wanna do big things with her. She’d love to, again, but she can’t always. But once all of this is over, she’s gonna take you to an amusement park. Not because she’s never been to one, definitely not because of that, but because they seem like something you would enjoy. However, on those days where she has a bit more energy as well, you’re more than welcome to dance with her, or maybe even race each other to the top of one of the hills nearby. Farah wants nothing more than to share her country with you, especially the good things such as the culture and the landscape, so she would never say no to the both of you going outside when you can, provided the times are a bit more peaceful. If she’s feeling especially playful, or if you’re being too energetic, Farah will tire you out a bit by play fighting with you. Good luck trying to beat her. She may play fair with you, but that doesn’t mean she won’t go all out trying to get you to calm down a bit. However, she will apologize if she accidentally hurts you, such a thing was never her intention.
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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