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vampcubus · 4 years

Note

Izuku with a reader with a vampire like quirk (acts like Marceline from adventure time) and likes to sing. She and Uraraka argue and fight for his attention and affection. Fluff and angst at the end please. I really like your writing luv! Keep up the good work!! UwU

| A/N: I had so much fun writing this so it got pretty lengthy! It’s also not as fluffy as I had first intended, but I hope you like it nonetheless! |

(Edit: It’s been split up into two parts due to text block limitations.)

♡ Warnings: Angst, blood-drinking.♡

♡ Words: 2200+ ♡

See part 2 … here

. . .

Bite Me (Midoriya/Vampire!Reader) [Part 1]

You reclined on Midoriya’s bed in his dorm room, fingers plucking at the strings of your guitar to find a good rhythm that stuck. You were technically here for a friendly study session with Midoriya, Iida, and Uraraka, but your bluenette friend canceled last minute so it was just you three. Which, was fine you could still get a lot of work in.

The only thing was, it wasn’t fine. Your eyes drifted from the strings to where Ochako and Deku sat adjacent to you, laughing about something you didn’t care to know about.

Midoriya has barely paid any attention to you the entire time you’ve been here and it was getting on your damn nerves. You frowned, leaning further away from the rays of sun that shone through the slightly open curtains. He always made sure to close them for you when you came over. I guess he was too busy with Uraraka to care.

Not that you couldn’t close them yourself! But that wasn’t the point.

As selfish as it may sound you like to think that he thinks about you. And normally, he does! But when Uraraka-san’s around… not so much.

Why did he like her so much? Was she better than you? Was it because she had a more reliable pulse? Better impulse control? Fuck, now you’re just making yourself feel bad.

While sifting through your bitter thoughts your fingers subconsciously caught onto a good tune, and you closed your eyes, humming to the rhythm and trying to think up some rad lyrics to pair with it. A bit early, but you were never a conformist to basic music composition anyways.

You heard Uraraka giggle and Midoriya chuckled back, the sound making you snap your eyes open and strike a harsher yet kind of nice-sounding chord.

You continued playing quietly to yourself, whispering a few different lyrics every now and then to sound them out and see which ones stuck. As you build a good foundation, you had unknowingly captured the attention of your classmates who finally turned away from the assignment and one another to look at you as you played.

She looks so concentrated! Midoriya thought as he watched you with sparkling eyes, feeling blessed to have been given the opportunity to bear witness to your creative process. He’s always admired you, especially your way with music. And now that you’re properly hanging out as friends more often, he’s written almost an entire notebook about you and your quirk! You were so cool!

Your quirk was very vampire-like in nature. You had increased physical strength and speed, the ability to float, and the more blood you consumed the stronger you were. Not only that but you could shape-shift into a bat! A cute one at that… Midoriya smiled crookedly at that, reminded of the time you fell asleep in class and when Mr. Aizawa smacked a book down on your desk. You got so frightened you poofed into a little bat version of yourself!

He might have drawn your bat form too…

Some might say your quirk was a little villainous, but he didn’t see it that way at all! You’d make a great hero one day, regardless of how er… exotic? Morbid? Your quirk was.

“Wow, Y/N-chan, that sounds really good so far!” Midoriya gushed a little, shaking you from your focused trance and negative thoughts—accidentally pulling the wrong string, making you cringe.

“Oh-uh, thanks!” You blushed, feeling the blood rise to your usually ice-cold cheeks.

“You’re going to make a great artist one day. After you go pro that is.” Deku flattered, freckled cheeks lighting up with the slightest dusting of pink. That’s also when he noticed the weird angle you were leaning to keep out of the light streaming through the curtains.

“Oh no! The curtains! I completely f-forgot, I’m so sorry, Y/N-chan!” He stuttered apologetically, scrambling to his feet to go and pull the curtains shut. You sighed in relief leaning back into a more comfortable position. “You should’ve said something.” He frowned, the guilt clear in his mesmerizing emerald green eyes.

“D-don’t worry about it, Deku. You looked… busy.” You coughed awkwardly, fingers subconsciously returning to strumming across the strings to distract yourself.

To your delight, Midoriya sat closer to you this time. And you shot Uraraka a subtle-yet-victorious glance, to which you were met with her frustrated one. It was almost like there was an invisible bolt of lightning between you, cracking challengingly between two rivals as you shared a familiar look of ‘friendly’ competition. You knew she had a crush on Deku, and she knew that you had feelings for him in turn. Neither of you wanted to step away, both dead set on winning Deku’s affections for your own. Of course, the little green ray of sunshine had no idea about this, but he didn’t need to know.

“Can you—um… c-can you possibly… teach me some things?” Midoriya asked bashfully, rubbing the back of his neck, eyes darting from your own now-softer ones and your guitar. Your normally-still heart swelled and beat a few times, your cheeks burning. You felt the excitement bubble inside and you couldn’t help but give him an enthusiastic fanged smile. You didn’t even have time to send Uraraka a bragging look, you were too eager.

“Of course!” You exclaimed, slipping your guitar strap off your shoulder. “Scoot a bit closer.”

A while later you found yourself sitting behind Deku, arms wrapped around him to guide his clumsy hands across the strings of your favorite guitar. He had been incredibly nervous the first few lessons, especially with you touching him like this, but he relaxed once you got him into the zone. Uraraka scribbled away at an assignment to your left, sending you glances every now and then.

For once you weren’t worried about her though. All you could think about was the rough texture of Midoriya’s hands under your own as you adjusted his posture once more.

“Hey, there ya go, you’re getting the hang of this!” You complimented, and he flushed, cringing when his fingers fumbled and played the wrong tune. “You’re fine. You’re a natural, Deku!”

“You think so?” He asked, eyes shiny as they glanced over his shoulder at you. You avoided his gaze deliberately to hide the heat that had risen to your face.

“Mm-hm.” You hummed, trying to contain your excitement as he managed to play a few basic tunes. You were so proud!

“Hey, Deku?” Came Uraraka’s voice out of nowhere. You’d forgotten she was there… Midoriya turned to her, asking her what she needed. “I’m having a hard time with this problem, can you help me out?”

Ochako smiled charmingly, tilting her head to the side in a cute way as her pink cheeks spread with her grin. You scoffed, covering it up with a fake cough when Midoriya gave you a questioning look. She wasn’t that cute.

Apparently, that was an unpopular opinion because Midoriya gingerly returned your instrument and scooched over to the end of the bed to help Uraraka with her assignment. You weren’t saying that she didn’t actually need help, but you weren’t saying that you trusted her either. You knew she was just trying to deter his attention from you and onto herself.

You sighed, standing up from the bed with a look of temporary defeat.

“Sorry, guys. I think imma leave, catch you later.” You announced, and while your back was turned you missed the look of disappointment on Midoriya’s face. You slid your guitar over your shoulder to rest on your back and slung your book bag over your other shoulder. Your green-haired classmate didn’t have much time to say goodbye before you were crossing the room to the door.

“Oh, okay I’ll see you—” the door closes before he can finish. “Later…”

. . .

The next morning you sat on the steps at the entrance of U.A. with your guitar, doing your usual morning fiddling around with a new song. The same one you started the night prior. You’d gotten pretty far, an open notebook with scrawled lyrics and music notes balance on your outstretched knee crossed casually over the other.

You used to do this while waiting for your friends to come to school, perhaps serenade them jokingly as they approached. Even after moving into your dorm, you couldn’t quite shake the habit.

The sun wasn’t ideal, but you had a giant sun hat and the appropriate clothing for being outside in it. Deku usually met you on the stairs anyways so why would you move?

“Hey there, Y/N!” You hear Deku call from behind you.

Speak of the devil.

You turned your head to look over your shoulder, flashing him a fanged smile while your finger continued dragging your pick across the strings. “Heyyy, g’morning sleepy, you’re later than usual.”

He laughed nervously, walking over to sit down on the stairs beside you. Now that you got a better look at him, you noticed how drained he looked, the bags underneath his eyes more prominent in the light of the morning sun. A gentle wind rustled his curly green hair, and his jade eyes reflected the glare of the sun, making them almost glow.

Your cool cheeks darkened and you cleared your throat, eyes darting from him to save yourself the embarrassment.

“Long night?” You asked and he nodded sheepishly. He’d spent most of the night studying with Uraraka who was unusually… enthusiastic? He wasn’t sure how to put it.

“You usually stay up with us. Was something wrong last night? You left… so suddenly.” Midoriya looked to you expectantly, eyes crinkled with concern and something else you couldn’t quite place. You tried to laugh it off in your usual cool, smooth way, playing a bit more enthusiastically in an attempt to sell it further.

“Nah, man I’m cool. I was just… I was just.” Your words failed you when you were suddenly taken back to last night, the stare Uraraka had given you, how jealous you’d felt. So much so that you just couldn’t stand being in the room any longer. The same reason the lyrics of the same song you’d been working on since then were so bitter. You couldn’t help it, really. The way Ochako looked at him sometimes sent your blood way over the boiling point.

It was like a parasite, feeding on your patience with every tiny competition for Deku’s attention until eventually one of you cracked. It wouldn’t be you.

You jumped when you felt a hand on your shoulder and whipped your head to the side to see Midoriya with a sympathetically worried expression, hand twitching on your shoulder. The coolness of your flesh crept through even your sleeves and for a moment he was mesmerized by it. He made a mental note to scribble it down in his notebook later. You felt the frosty sheen of your resolve melt under his touch. Not many had the balls to touch you.

“You were just what? Are you okay?” He asked, not sure if the surprised look of confusion swirling in your eyes as they reflected some of the morning light—even from under the huge sun hat on top of your head—meant that you were going to get angry or not. You didn’t normally respond well to others worrying about you when you could obviously take care of yourself.

“Pssh—Yeah! I’m fine, quit worrying. Wouldn’t want any of your pretty green hair falling out for me.” You chuckled, and his spotted cheeks bloomed a light pink. Did you just say he had pretty hair? You looked away from him and back to your guitar with a newly-lit smile. It was alarming how much effect this boy had on you, being able to cheer you up just by worrying for you. “And uh, if you’re free later…”

“Yes!” You blinked at him as he blurted it before you could even finish your sentence. Did he even know what you were going to say?

“Uh…”

“I-I mean, um…” Izuku blushed madly, realizing that he’d just gotten way too ahead of himself. He must sound so desperate right now! The truth is that he would’ve said yes regardless of what you asked, never the type to pass up the chance to hang with you. “S-sorry, please continue.”

“I was going to ask if you wanted s’more guitar lessons.” You giggled at his embarrassed posture, palm shielding his face from you as it reddened.

“O-only if you promise to train with me!” He blurted out without thinking, eyes shining with emerald stars as he stood up from the stairs.

He couldn’t help it. He’s been wanting to ask you to train with him for such a long time but never knew how to ask without coming off as strange. Your quirk fascinated him, and he still knew so little about it! And what better way to evaluate your quirk than in a fight?

Again you blinked, caught off-guard by his enthusiasm.

Hah, what a fanboy. Can’t blame him though, I am pretty rad.

“Deal.” You grinned, showing off your pearly-white fangs, floating into the air and strumming your guitar as you made your way inside.

#izuku midoriya x reader #midoriya x reader #midoriya izuku x reader #izuku x reader #deku x reader #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya #deku #bnha x reader #mha x reader #vampire!reader #bnha #mha #bnha fanfiction #blood

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #466

“she is the butcher, she wants the air / she hides the scars under her hair”

Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. What do you do when you’re pissed off? Isolate and cry. Have you ever had unprotected sex? Good luck catchin' me do that. What did your mother study at university? Social work. What was the last thing you took a video of? I have zero idea. What is your least favorite kind of weather? Hot and humid weather can actually fuck off. What was the last housework you did? Does changing my cat's litter count? Have you ever had famous neighbors? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever lived in a small community where everyone knew each other? Nope. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? NO EW EW EW EW EW Do you talk to your pets? If you don't, are you REALLY a pet parent??????? Who is a famous person you could see yourself reading a biography about? He's always said he doesn't want to but I really hope Mark writes an autobiography one day alskdjklafjw;ejr Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. What skill that you have do you make most use of? idk man Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Nah. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? No. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? Sometimes/some places yes, other times/places, no. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? It would probably change with what I'm feeling, but I lean towards a nice center piece brownie. :^) If you’re out late, where are you likely to be? This literally never happens. Do you ever visit your mall’s arcade (if it has one)? Our mall is lame as fuck. It definitely doesn't have one. What’s your absolute favorite topic to discuss? Mark, lmao. What is your least favorite topic to discuss? Politics. Have you ever been confined to a wheelchair? "Confined" seems like a strong word, but a nurse did give me one at the doctor's office when I massively tore a ligament in my foot and could barely walk at all. If you have a job, who’s your closest friend at work? Don't remind me that I don't have a job. Have you told anyone you love them today? Not yet, but I'm sure I will later. Have you ever worked in an office? No, but I guess that's what I'm going to wind up going for once I'm ready to job-hunt again... It feels sad that I'm actually aiming for the cubicle life now just because my interaction with people would be much more limited than with most other jobs. Who does the grocery shopping in your house? My mom. Do you prefer margarine or butter, and why? I don't even know if I'd recognize the taste difference. Have you ever been in serious trouble at work or school? No. Do you have any strange fears or phobias that you’re embarrassed of? That I'm embarrassed of, no. Can you smell anything right now? No. Have you ever tried coconut water? No. Which Asian country would you like to visit the most? Idk. Maybe Japan? How old were your parents when they got engaged? I have no idea. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. If so, would you be prepared to perform CPR if necessary? No. Have you ever ‘done it’ in a hotel room? No. Just the idea grosses me out. Where is your next vacation? Couldn't tell ya, buddy. Which are better black or green olives? I'm not a fan of black olives, and I won't even TRY green ones. They just look so fucking disgusting to me. Does your car have a backup camera? Mom's doesn't. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? No. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water? Essentia. Is your skin more oily, dry, or combination? It's a combination depending on the location. Where did you meet your current significant other? High school band. What kind of house do you wish you lived in? One that's in the woods. What was the last compliment you received from an old lady? I don't have a clue. Do you know how to cut hair? Properly, no. Have you ever had a classmate die? I believe maybe once? If you have a song stuck in your head, what is it? I recently discovered "Foxy, Foxy" by Rob Zombie and it's Good Stuff. Do you tend to space out a lot? Very much so. What people have changed your life for the better? My parents, my psychiatrist, a PHP therapist, Sara, debatably Jason... Have you ever had any kind of dangerous addiction? What’s this addiction? Caffeine, I guess. Are your parents still married, divorced, or split up? Like this decision? They're divorced, and while it sucks for your parents to split up, it's a decision that I definitely approve of given all they ever did was fight when I was growing up. Them staying together would've been very destructive. Have you ever heard of Hollywood Undead? Do you like them? Well yeah, and I like a large number of songs to where I'd consider myself a fan. I actually had a shirt in high school. Has anyone ever called you a coward before? Who called you that? I don't believe so. Are you a Jeffree Star fan? Or no? Do you think he’s awesome/dumb? Honestly, yes. Like he's done dumb shit, but has more than sufficiently apologized for it in my opinion and changed his behavior for the better. I also - astonishingly - like his music quite a bit. As well, his work ethic is fucking INCREDIBLE, like extremely admirable. Has your grandmother ever made you anything? Not including cookies. I don't think so. I don't even think she ever liked me. Do you disgust anyone? Did they tell you that? Why is this, anyways? Not that I know of. When was the last time you cried, and why (if you want to share)? I don't remember, actually. Probably just about life. Who was the last person who was rude to you? *shrug* Do you have a relationship with God? lol no, and even if I believed in him, I wouldn't have a remotely decent opinion of that entity. Is weed legal in your state? No. Have you ever thrown up in class? In kindergarten, yes. What is something that you used to be ashamed of, but now you’re not? As a kid, being a girl, I was so embarrassed by liking Pokemon. Now, I am literally wearing an Eeveelutions shirt and went out in public lmao. I couldn't care less about loving them cuties. Have you ever walked outside in below zero weather? No; I've never experienced those temperatures. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Yes, but I was sitting down. I would be WAY too scared of dropping a baby otherwise. Are a ton of your Facebook friends getting married and having kids now? I legitimately think most of my friends on there already have kids and/or are married/engaged. It's triggering sometimes and was a massive motivator for me taking a break from there. What’s something you believe in that most people don’t? So uh, I hope this doesn't sound insensitive given how it just passed, but I 100% believe the U.S. government was to some extent involved in 9/11. There is an incredible amount of evidence when you do the research. Is there anyone who’s dear in your heart who’s going down the wrong path? I worry about one of my good friends quite a bit. She is horribly addicted to pot (like, she admits it) in a state where it's not legal, and I'm concerned she'll face legal repercussions eventually. She also dates an absolute lowlife asshole, but they've been together for a very long time, and I just worry about how that might damage her later down the road. Do you get enough sleep? God, it never feels like it. What’s something you wish you would have known sooner? That college wouldn't work for me. Like, I dropped out of three. I do NOT want to know the debt I'm in. What’s the next big project you plan to start? Idk. Possibly something for Girt's birthday because Mom really pissed me off and doesn't want to spend *any*thing to help me get something for him. Is that bad on my end? Like she pointed out he knows I don't work, but like... come on. He's my bf, one of my greatest friends ever, and you can't spare anything? I really don't know if that's selfish or not; it's just that if I get him nothing, I will feel like ACTUAL garbage. So making something may just be my only option. I just dunno what... Do you think you were cute in your baby pictures? omg yes, idk what happened Do you remember pre-school? A lot of it, yes. My long-term memory is pretty damn amazing. Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? Yes. Does your town have a farmer’s market? I think so? Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? Pokemon GO, lol. How old were you when you met your current best friend? Around 11. What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? Photography is coming real fuckin close. I've been trying to go somewhere with that for YEARS. Would you rather read a book, or listen to the audiobook? Physically read. I think my attention would stray listening to an audiobook. Do you think tomorrow will be a better day than today? It's possible, idk. I had a doctor's appointment today that absolutely slaughtered my mood, so I feel fucking horrific, but Girt is also coming over today, and I'm sure he'll cheer me up. I won't see him tomorrow, so that's a bummer. With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Sara. What is the last thing you complained about? It's hot as shit outside. Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? 13 Reasons Why. What was the last topic that you ranted about? Anti-vax bullshit. Who is the most sensitive person that you know? Bitch, me. Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? No. What did you do last Halloween? Literally nothing on the actual holiday. :/ Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real… just once? ... To get out of school, yes. :x What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I am still positively livid about Texas' "heartbeat bill." Fuck that place and fuck that law. What is one insecurity you have about your body? Um, everything???? What is one part of your body that you are proud of? Nothing????

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''foxy foxy'' by rob zombie

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ughseoks · 4 years

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the story of us | ksj

— pairing; seokjin x reader

— genre; angst, slight fluff in beginning & end

— word count; 1.6k

— warnings; angst, small fight, two stubborn dummies refusing to communicate properly

— summary; you thought that the story of you and jin was one that had a fairytale ending, but a miscommunication leaves you scrambling to ensure it doesn’t end in tragedy instead.

「based on “the story of us” by taylor swift」

— masterlist —

From the moment you met, you hoped that one day, you’d be able to tell your kids the story of you and Jin. You’d be able to recount how his cheeks tinted pink when your gazes locked, sparks flying instantly; how you crossed the room to talk to the mystery boy with broad shoulders, and a feeling of right tugged deep in your gut.

Your relationship blossomed from the first hello, and before you knew it, you and Jin were attached at the hip. Friends and family would always tell you that the two of you were “the lucky ones,” and you couldn’t deny it. How you’d managed to find Jin amongst the sea of people at your university still left you clueless, but one thing was for sure: you had no intention of ever letting him go.

It’s funny how in just one week, everything can change.

Glancing at your phone, you pushed open the door to the library. Your first instinct was to search the room for the tall, elegant creature that was Jin— but you stopped yourself short. Just a week prior, everyone knew that your place was the spot next to him, but now, you were searching the room for an empty seat. The large building was filled to the brim with students studying, sleeping, and frantically completing almost-due assignments. Casting your gaze to the floor, you plopped down at the nearest vacant table, pulling out your laptop to continue writing your literary analysis.

After a few minutes of staring at the halfway-completed document, you sighed in frustration, running a hand through your tousled hair. Normally, you were a quick writer, the words flowing from your fingertips with ease; but now, you couldn’t seem to form a coherent sentence.

As much as you hated to admit it, the source of your distraction was Jin. The argument that the two of you had three nights prior was the only thing you could focus on, and it was affecting both your work and school life way more than you’d like to admit. Resting your chin on the palm of your hand, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the memories begging for your attention.

“Lately, I don’t even know what page you’re on!” you yelled, throwing up your hands in frustration, “It’s like you aren’t even you anymore. What happened?”

Recently, you’d felt like something new had formed between you. Something more than being just friends. But, clearly, you were wrong. Jin had grown distant from you; he was staying out into the late hours of the night, ignoring your texts and calls, and showing up to school with the darkest under eye bags you’d ever seen. You didn’t know if it was because he sensed a change in your feelings for him or some other underlying issue, but what hurt you the most was that he was choosing to distance himself rather than confide in you.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Jin retorted, desperation and panic seeping into his tone, “I’m still the same Jin you’ve always known. Nothing has changed!”

“You know that’s a lie,” you growled, pointing an accusing finger at him, “I can tell when you’re lying. Just tell me what’s going on!”

He clenched his jaw, averting his gaze from your fiery eyes.

“Is…” your voice dropped to a soft tone, emotion causing it to shake slightly, “Is it because of me?”

“What do you mean?” he replied, still not looking at you.

“Don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed it,” your voice had developed a bitter undertone to it; after all, you couldn’t believe he was denying what had been happening between the two of you. “You and I… I see us as being… more than just friends. Do you not feel the same way? Is that why you’ve been distant?”

Jin’s eyes blew wide open in shock, but it was only a moment before his face turned stone cold and the answer that you’d been dreading floated past his lips with an insulting level of ease.

“Yeah, it is.”

Miscommunication leads to fallouts. You and Jin were both well aware of that. But some invisible wall kept the two of you divided, and no matter how many things you wished he knew, the wall you’d erected seemed to grow taller and thicker each day. It stood tall and proud, guarding your already fragile heart from being dealt the final blow that would inevitably shatter it into a million, glittering Jin-shaped pieces.

Letting out a groan, you slammed your laptop shut, sliding it into your bag and storming out of the library. Clearly, you weren’t going to get any work done.

How did you and Jin end up this way?

It was three weeks later when you found yourself in the middle of a party, nervously pulling at your sweatshirt and trying to look busy. Scanning the room anxiously, your gaze unexpectedly locked with Jin’s. His eyes widened in shock before he spun on his heel, leaving you behind him without so much as a peep.

That was the first time you’d seen him in person since the argument. You hadn’t expected him to act like nothing had happened— after all, you weren’t sure you wanted to pretend like you were suddenly best friends again, either— but you didn’t expect him to flat out ignore you. Swallowing the growing lump in your throat, you tried to find a familiar face amongst the crowd, pushing back the thought of Jin doing his very best to avoid you.

Once upon a time, you thought you’d tell the story of how you almost lost your mind when you saw Jin for the first time; how he walked you home that night to make sure you’d make it home safe and sound because you were “too nice to die at the hands of a creepy old man on the street at 11pm.”

But now, he held his pride like he should’ve held you.

God, you were scared to see the ending of this story. Why were you both pretending like this was nothing? It was getting to be too much for your body and mind to handle, and judging by the dark circles you’d spotted under Jin’s eyes, he wasn’t faring much better than you.

Words couldn’t describe just how badly you wanted to run into his arms and tell him how much you missed him. But you had no idea how to.

Pulling out your phone, you drafted message after message, only to delete each of them a few seconds after typing them. The last messages sent between you were from two weeks ago, and the last time you’d actually talked in person had been almost three.

Yet you’d still check your phone at least once every hour, hoping to see a notification from him, just to be let down by a blank screen.

Huffing, you slipped your phone into your pocket and ran a hand through your hair, frustration and confusion coursing through your veins as you stood alone in the crowded room. Sure, you’d had arguments with Jin before, but you swore you’d never heard silence quite this loud. Inside, you were dying to know if it was killing him like it was killing you, but you didn’t know what to say or ask to get past this roadblock.

This terrible twist of fate had shattered everything, and the once fairytale-like story of you and Jin was starting to look a lot more like a tragedy now.

In an emotionally fueled rampage, you suddenly yanked your phone back out of your pocket. Your fingers slammed into the keyboard over and over again, not giving yourself enough time to think twice about what you’d typed out until after you hit send.

You: hey. can we talk?

You were sick and tired of competing for the title of who could act like they cared less… you just wanted Jin back. Although you might be stubborn, you liked it better when the two of you were on the same side, and you were more than willing to lay your armor down if he would admit that he’d rather love than fight.

Sighing, you turned your screen off once more, sliding your phone into your pocket. The battle was in his hands now, so there was no point in letting this ruin the rest of your night.

Jin’s heart was beating a million times a minute as he stared at his phone screen, reading the text message from you over and over again. All he had to do was reply to the four simple words, but for some reason, he couldn’t find it in himself to respond.

The question really only required a one-word response, so why was this so hard? Was he scared of the conversation that would inevitably follow? The chance of having his heart broken? Or was he, deep down, still trying to pretend like nothing was really wrong?

There were thousands of thoughts racing through Jin’s mind as he continued to stare at the screen, wishing there was a way to express what he was feeling. He had so many things to tell you, but he didn’t know how, and he was sure that if he stared for even a second longer he might shut down.

“Everything okay, dude?” Hoseok put a hand on Jin’s shoulder, throwing his friend a concerned glance, “You seem a little out of it.”

“Y-Yeah,” Jin locked his phone after sending a quick reply, sliding it into his pocket with only a moment’s hesitation, “I’m good.”

Jinnie: sure. let’s call later tonight.

a/n; this is a day early bc i love jin & i’m high on that mots:7 juice right now. sorry for the angst & messy writing. but i wrote this in like an hour with no editing and hey, at least there’s implied fluff at the end, right??

— masterlist —

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sheoutcasted · 3 years

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hiiiii doves!! (♡´ω`♡) i’m amanda (20, she/her) and i am suuuuper excited to be back; i can’t wait to properly meet all of you + your muses!!

under the cut, you’ll find some information on my lovely little bean, dreamer (yes that’s her real birth name) delamora, as well as some connection ideas ♥♥

i. profile,

full name. › dreamer rose delamora

nickname(s). › dream, little dreamer (only by her mother)

age. › 19 years old

gender, pronouns. › cis woman, she/her

sexuality. › bisexual

major. › education

aesthetics. › oversized sweaters with skater skirts, muted colour palette, messy braids, true crime videos at 2am, pouring emotions into an original song, the echo of a recognizable laugh

( continued... )

ii. important information,

› born and raised by a single mother in valencia, spain; her mother didn’t have much money but still tried to give her daughter the best. her grandparents would often look after her while her mother was working 2 - 3 jobs in order to make a comfortable living

› when dreamer was 6, her mother met zacarious (zac) souza and it was genuinely love at first sight - they instantly clicked and were inseparable. 2 months later, they’re in a relationship. 1 month after they made things official, dreamer and her mother moved in with him in a 3-bedroom apartment. life is really looking up at this point

› when dreamer was 13, she started getting alienated by her peers at school. she never really knew or even understood why - though it might’ve been because of her generally weird nature (i mean, who goes up to people with a white bedsheet over them & screams BOO! at people?). as a means of feeling less lonely, dreamer started learning how to play guitar; it took her a while but once she got the hang of it, she would sneak into restricted areas with her acoustic guitar and play and smoke weed for hours on end.

(MISSING PERSON TW) › when dreamer was 15, she got awoken from a phone call one evening; her (step-)father is frantic, asking if she’d seen or heard from her mother. she hadn’t; not in about a day, in fact, which was quite strange considering how close they were. the day after, her mother is filed as a missing person. hours upon hours are spent trying to find her but it’s to no avail. rose delamore up and vanished off the face of the earth. dreamer was even more alienated after this.

› when dreamer was 16, zac legally adopted her. the trio - dreamer, her mother and zac - had always been a family; right from the start. and now that her mother was gone, zac felt responsible for her (which was completely okay in his books; he loves her like his own). it’s also then that he told her about her mother’s secret college fund for her; finding out about this made her sob.

› when dreamer was 18, she finally decided on a school: château campus. it’s beautiful and she knew in her heart that her mother would be proud of her for picking such a place - the pair had started from the bitter bottom and now, dreamer is going to a breathtaking school to study. her father was most definitely proud of her. dreamer, herself, on the other hand, has mixed emotions. she grew up an outcast and now she’s moving to a place where no one knows her name. things were going to change - she made a promise to herself to get out of this outcast label and have a good time at the campus.

› dreamer is 19 now and settling into the campus. she’s made a few friends so far & already knows who she won’t click with. she constantly tries to fight her socially awkwardness; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. keeping her promise to herself to break out of her shell might prove to be difficult considering she’s only ever been an outcast growing up and has no idea how not to be one.

other random info,

› her name is dreamer because when her mother was pregnant with her, she was literally like “hahah, what if i named my kid dreamer” as a joke but it ended up sticking because she literally just couldn’t find another name that she liked

› her mother is a very, very touchy subject for her & even after a few years, she can’t talk (or even think) about her without wanting to burst into tears. dreamer actually always has one of her mother’s favourite necklaces on - it’s a beautiful rosegold locket necklace with a photo of their little family in it; she literally refuses to take it off.

(DEATH TW) › at this point, dreamer thinks her mother is deceased - she’s been told by authorities that the likelihood of her being found alive at this point would be very, very slim so as a means of like, making it a bit easier to cope with her mother being missing. dreamer just tells people that her mother is dead (to avoid the complicated and heartbreaking real story that she’s a missing person).

› dreamer is genuinely one of the best frigging friends ever - if you need someone, even at ungodly hours, she won’t hesitate to get up and be there for you. she didn’t have very many genuine friends going up so having them is really exciting to her.

(ANXIETY TW) › she has undiagnosed social anxiety and suffers from the occasional anxiety / panic attack when in social situations (like parties or gatherings). because of the promise she made herself, she’s been trying to push herself a bit more to go to said social situations and stay as long as she can. she’s honestly really proud of herself for this because she would avoid every social gathering growing up like they were the cheese from diary of a wimpy kid and she’d get the cheese touch if she went.

› she’s reeeaaalllyy interested in true crime + unsolved mysteries. this honestly might just be something of a coping mechanism so she doesn’t feel so alone (cause her mother is basically an unsolved mystery). she finds it so interesting, in fact, that if she didn’t want to be a music teacher so badly, she would’ve been a detective.

› this is just a random headcanon but she gives the best hugs :) and also makes the best brownies.

iii. wanted connections,

best friend. › when you first saw dreamer, you could sense those “lost puppy” vibes and decided to offer your friendship. there was an instant click between the two of you and she considers you to be one of her best friends at this point. ( 0 / 1 )

bully & mutual dislike. › from the moment you saw her, you knew that dreamer was the perfect target. quiet, non-argumentative, visibly awkward. your words play on repeat in dreamer’s mind at night. she doesn’t like you at all and goes to great lengths to avoid you. ( 0 / 1 )

one-sided (or mutual) crush. › you know those scenes in movies where the beautiful person walks in slow motion, their hair blowing perfectly in the wind, sparkles fluttering around them. that’s what dreamer saw the very first time she laid eyes on you and she hasn’t been able to shake off the butterflies since. at this point, you two are friends & whether or not that prior-mentioned feeling is mutual is totally up in the air. ( 0 / 1 )

( continued... )

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luvshuas · 5 years

Text

caller #9

pairing - chan x reader

tags - college!au + fluff

synopsis - all of chan’s friends thought he was hopeless when it came to his crush on you, but lucky for him the school’s love radio knows just how to help

word count - 4.9k

“You’re daydreaming again.” Chan’s roommate, Seungkwan, waved his hand in front of the spaced out boy’s face. Chan heard his roommate’s faint chuckle from across the room, “You really are hopeless Lee Chan.”

“Thanks, you’re probably the thousandth person to point that out.” He grumbled. Chan’s attention reluctantly returned to the history essay he was supposed to be completing. Hopeless, he thought, absolutely hopeless. He couldn’t agree more with the title given to him by majority of his friends. They were right after all; he was absolutely hopeless when it came to expressing his feelings.

“Y’know there might be a way we could help you.” Seungkwan broke the silence that had settled in the room, though his observation wasn’t enough to steal Chan’s attention from the essay in front of him. Seungkwan lifted one of the many pillows off of his bed and threw it at Chan, “Like I was saying, I think I know of a way to turn your hopeless train wreck of a love life around.”

“Yeah? How do you think you’re going to ‘turn my hopeless train wreck of a love life around’?” Chan turned his chair around so he could face Seungkwan, however the other’s grin gave Chan a bad feeling. He knew letting Seungkwan play any role, whether it be big or small, in his love life could end in a burning mess, but he found himself leaning forward to listen to his roommate’s idea.

“The school’s love radio, or whatever they call it. That doesn’t matter,” Seungkwan turned his laptop so the screen was facing Chan. “What matters is they can give you tips on how to win your crush’s heart.” Seungkwan was grinning like the devil by now, obviously proud of his idea. Chan turned the thought over in his head.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt to try.” He was hesitant with his answer, but what’s the worst that could happen? Chan grabbed his phone and moved to sit next to Seungkwan on his bed. The radio was live, and the number to call into the show was posted in the description. Chan punched the numbers into his phone, holding his breath until his call was accepted and put on air.

“Welcome caller #9! What’s troubling your heart?” The voice on the other end of the call sounded awfully familiar to him, but he was too unprepared for his call to actually be picked up to think of who it reminded him of. “Hello? Are you still there?” The radio host’s voice pulled him out of his daze.

“Oh! Yes, uh, sorry? I called really unprepared, but there’s someone in my sociology class. My arms feel like jelly whenever I’m around them, and my friends tease me saying my eyes literally turn into hearts whenever I look at them, but I can’t properly talk to them without saying something stupid. I really just want to be able to talk to them and have them fall for me like how I fell for them.” Chan spilled his problems out for everyone tuned into the show to hear, though he didn’t feel vulnerable. He was known only as caller #9 to everyone who was listening, besides Seungkwan who had already heard this spiel more times than he could remember. He waited for the host to take in everything he had laid out, but the growing silence was beginning to eat at his nerves.

“I see. It seems like you have a confidence problem. Try asking a trusted friend to strike a conversation with them, and then once the conversation seems to be going smoothly have them bring you in. Having someone you’re comfortable with by your side will help boost your confidence.” Chan listened to the advice closely. Maybe he’d have a chance at expressing his feelings. The host thanked him for calling in and asked him to call back in a few days or whenever he had the chance to talk with whoever he liked. Once the phone call was off air and had ended he let out a large sigh.

“If you don’t ask me to help you talk to them I’ll do it on my own and ruin every chance you get.” Seungkwan’s threat was meant to be lighthearted, though having been roommates with the boy for two years Chan knew to take it with some truth. He nodded his head to confirm with Seungkwan that he’d be helping him talk to his sociology crush before returning to his desk to finish the essay that should’ve been done hours ago. A sliver of hope settled into Chan’s heart as he sat himself down in his chair. Maybe this love radio wouldn’t be that bad of an idea.

___

Chan didn’t have his sociology class till two days after he called into the love radio. He had plenty of time to prepare how the conversation would go, and, as embrassassing as it sounds, he even practiced with his friends. Chan stood nervously outside of the classroom. Seungkwan had gone in alone a few minutes prior to begin the conversation. After several other students entered the classroom, not without giving Chan strange stares, he entered the room.

“There he is! Chan come here! I was just talking about you!” Seungkwan gestured for Chan to come stand next to him and join the conversation, but he felt his feet glue themselves to the floor. Once his eyes met yours it was over for him. His eyes briefly met Seungkwan’s annoyed ones. Seeing his roommate pulled him from his daze and he began to finally drag his feet to stand next to Seungkwan, and in front of you. Chan felt his stomach explode with butterflies when you looked at him. “Like I said earlier, Chan is really good at sociology. He’d be the perfect person to help you!” Seungkwan wrapped an arm around Chan’s shoulders, a proud smile beaming on his face. However, Chan’s expression was the complete opposite.

“Really? Chan I don’t want to be a burden to you, but would you mind helping me?” For the sake of your grade you hoped he would agree, but the horrified look on his face gave off a different message. You quickly tried to backtrack, “You don’t have to! You’re probably busy with your own-”

“No! I’ll help! Don’t find someone else!” Chan cut you off when he realized what was happening. Your relieved smile sent a new wave of electricity through Chan’s veins. “I mean, I don’t mind helping. I could probably use the help as well.” He said, much calmer. He tried his best to appear cool and collected, but his thoughts betrayed his outward appearance.

“Thank you so much! Here, put your number in my phone and I’ll text you a time and place so we can study.” You fished your phone out of your bag before handing it to Chan. Chan was absolutely dumbfounded as he typed his name and number into your phone. He knew he’d never hear the end of this from Seungkwan, but at that moment he was too over the moon to care what ridiculous debt his roommate would put him in for this. Chan tapped ‘save’ before handing your phone back to you. Your smile was beaming as you thanked him and returned to where you normally sat.

Chan lifted his hand to wave at your retreating back, but Seungkwan’s rough shove interrupted his thoughts. “What just happened?” Chan asked, moving towards his and Seungkwan’s usual seats in the classroom. Never in a million years did he think he’d be able to hold a, albeit short, conversation with you, let alone have you ask for his phone number.

“Looks like someone owes little ol’ me a favor since calling the love radio was my idea.” Seungkwan said, a smug smile plastered to his face. Chan knew that the boy would most likely ask him to do an assignment for him or run a few errands, but he was too ecstatic about the past few minutes to care about whatever Seungkwan would have planned for him.

The professor finally entered the classroom, signaling the beginning of class and of the longest day of Chan’s life. Chan hoped you’d text him when your first study session would be so he could ask for advice from the love radio, but for now he’d just have to push through the day and hope it goes by faster than normal.

___

As predicted, Chan’s classes felt longer than they should be. Between checking his phone for your text and watching the clock like a hawk time seemed to slow down. When he arrived in his dorm late that afternoon it was empty. Seungkwan had told him he would be out to work on a project for one of his classes.

Chan, for once, was grateful to have his roommate gone. He slid into the chair at his desk, opening his laptop to pull up the radio show that would be starting soon. He was ten minutes early, but those ten minutes would give him time to prepare. On a sticky note he wrote down the questions he might want to ask. Chan looked up from his sticky note once he heard the host’s opening line.

“Welcome back! It seems that we already had some viewers waiting for the show to begin. Let’s begin right away then! Caller #1 you’re on air!” Chan listened to the caller’s problems and the host’s answers. Some of the callers were in similar situations - whoever they were interested in only saw them as a friend. Once the eighth caller hung up Chan called in. He thought it’d be easier for the host to recognize him if he was consistently the same caller.

“Welcome caller #9! How can I help you?” The host’s voice sounded as happy as ever. It was obvious they enjoyed doing the radio, despite never revealing who they are. Chan felt himself smile.

“Hi, I called a few days ago about not being able to properly talk with who I like. You told me to call back whenever I was able to?”

“Oh! Yes, I remember you. Did I help? Do you need more advice?” Chan felt relief flood through him when the host recognized who he was.

“You helped a lot. They asked for my number so they could text me, but they were just planning on texting him so we could study for our sociology class together.”

“It sounds like you’re hoping they won’t just text you to study. Whenever you two study try to find things you have in common, and then use those things to ask them on a date.” The host’s answer came quickly this time, and Chan could’ve sworn he recognized the voice from somewhere. Maybe he heard it while passing through a crowd of students, though he doubted he’d remember someone’s voice like that. Chan thanked the host before his call was taken off air. The radio show would be on air for another ten minutes, but Chan to stop listening after his call was taken. He closed the tab on his laptop and began working on whatever assignment he had due the next day.

Around ten minutes after Chan’s call in to the radio - which had ended by now - he received a text from you. “‘Let’s meet tomorrow. Noon by the cafe.’” He read the text aloud. He felt himself chuckle at the coincidence that you would text him a few minutes after he called in to confess his new problem. “Maybe luck is on my side these days.” He mumbled quietly, typing out a reply to you.

You knew Chan would agree to meeting you at the cafe before he even read your text. Shoving your phone into your pocket, you began to stand up from your desk. You grabbed your microphone and headsets from your desk to put them away before your roommate got back to the dorms. “Caller #9 what am I going to have to do to get you to realize I like you too?”

___

Chan looked back at his phone’s clock for what might’ve been the thousandth time since he arrived at the cafe. He wanted to get there early so you wouldn’t have to wait for him, but the longer he stood there the more nervous he felt. The possibility of you not showing up prodded his mind despite him knowing you weren’t like that. Chan reached to pull his phone from his pocket to text you when he felt someone’s shoulder bump his. “I’m sorry I’ll move-”

His apology was interrupted by your laughing, “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go inside; it’s too hot out here.” You pulled Chan’s arm towards the cafe entrance. He limply followed you into the cafe. “What do you want to order? I’ll pay since I invited you out.” You turned to him as the two of you neared the counter.

“Surprise me.” He shrugged, earning a grin from you. You pointed to a table sitting in the sunlight. Chan took the gesture as you silently telling him to go get the table before someone else did while you ordered. Nodding, he walked to the table and sat in one of the chairs. He still felt like he was in a dream. At any given moment he could be pinched and wake up in his dorm room. Chan pinched his forearm to double check that this was reality. The world around him didn’t dissolve into his bedroom so he figured that he really was at a cafe with you.

“If you keep pinching yourself you’ll get a bruise.” You sat in front of Chan, who's ears began to turn red. You peeled the price tag off of his drink before handing it to him, crumpling it in your hand so he wouldn’t know what you ordered for him or how much you paid for the drink. Chan slowly put the drink’s straw between his lips, a feeling of nervousness rooting in him from not knowing what he was about to put in his body. “I’m not going to poison you, Chan. Just take a sip, and if you don’t like it I’ll buy you something of your choice.” You waited for him to take a sip of the mystery drink. It smelled exactly like fall - if a season could have a scent -, but it was pleasant. He took a sip of the drink, giving you a strange look once the liquid hit his tongue.

“How did you get apple cider in summer? Isn’t this only sold during the fall?” Chan’s expression morphed into confusion as he continued drinking the liquid. He was absolutely sure this was apple cider, but he couldn’t figure out how you got the drink in the middle of summer.

“That’s my little secret.” You smiled as you took a sip of your drink. A silence settled between the two of you that you so desperately wanted to break. You wanted to drop hints that you knew Chan called into your radio show to ask you for advice on how to talk to you. The irony almost made you laugh.

“What’re you smiling about?” Chan asked, interrupting your train of thought. You looked up from your drink, meeting his eyes. He has such nice eyes, you thought. You didn’t trust yourself to not say what you were thinking so you just kept quiet, smiling and admiring him. Chan felt his ears, which were still red, become hotter. “Are you sure you didn’t poison my drink? ‘Cause your smile is giving off the impression that you did.” He said, trying to cover up the fact that he was getting easily flustered just by your smile.

“I swear I didn’t! I’m just happy you agreed to come here with me, even if it wasn’t for studying.” You laughed, fiddling with your thumbs under the table. It’d be so easy to tell him you reciprocate his feelings, but you found yourself wanting him to continue calling into your radio show. You didn’t feel as nervous being with him knowing that later that day he would call in and tell you how everything from his perspective.

You and Chan spent close to an hour together talking about anything that would cross your mind. Your conversation was only interrupted when Chan’s phone began ringing. “Hello? Seungkwan? What do you want?” He asked, clearly very annoyed that his roommate was taking his attention from you. Chan’s face turned from one of annoyance to horror. “I have to go. I’m so sorry. Thank you for this, it was a lot of fun. I’ll text you later.” He said, quickly standing up and rushing out of the cafe. You watched him sprint down the sidewalk in the direction of the campus dorms. You wanted to believe everything was ok, but seeing Chan’s immediate shift in tone worried you.

___

It didn’t take Chan more than five minutes to run to his dorm, which was already swarming with campus police. He pushed his way into the room where he was immediately greeted by Seungkwan who had just finished being questioned by one of the officers. “Someone broke into our dorm. They didn’t take anything since I walked in right as they were climbing through the window, but the police say this isn’t the first break in on campus.”

Chan stepped over the glass littering the floor around his bed. “Where are we going to stay? ‘Cause I’m certainly not sleeping in a room with a broken window after someone tried to break into our dorm.”

“It’s still the middle of the afternoon so you still have some time to figure out where you’re gonna stay. I’m probably gonna crash on the couch in Vernon’s dorm for the night.” Seungkwan sat next to Chan. He knew Chan probably would be stuck sleeping in their dorm since majority of their friends had completely full rooms, and he didn’t want to ask Seungkwan to stay in the dorm with him when he could be safe in Vernon’s dorm. “They said we’ll get a new window tomorrow so it’ll only be for the night.” Seungkwan said, trying to reassure Chan that it wouldn’t be long before they could sleep in their own beds again.

Chan nodded, pulling out his phone. He was intending on texting one of his friends to see if he could sleep on their floor, but he found himself opening his texts with you. I don’t know what that phone call was about, but I hope you’re ok. If you need anything please tell me and I’ll try my best to help, he read to himself. Despite the current situation he felt the corners of his mouth tug up slightly into the smallest smile.

Are you at your dorm? Something happened at mine, he texted back.

Yeah. I can meet you somewhere if you wanted to hang out, your reply came quickly.

Actually, I was wondering if I could hang out at your dorm, Chan hesitantly sent the text. He knew it was inappropriate for him to stay at your dorm, but he just needed some sort of distraction.

My roommate won’t be back until later tonight so come on over. My dorm is #209, your text came a few minutes after Chan asked if he could visit. He was surprised you agreed, but his relief outweighed the surprise. Chan told Seungkwan he was gonna go out for a few hours and that he’d text him if he couldn’t find anywhere to sleep for the night. He left the room and began to head for the second dorm building where you would be waiting for him.

It didn’t take Chan very long to find your dorm. He was knocking on your door in a matter of minutes. You pushed your box holding your microphone and other equipment further under your bed before opening the door. “I was trying to make the room look clean before you came, but you came a lot quicker than I expected.” You said, opening the door wider so he could enter. Chan looked around the room as he walked into it. The room was kept fairly minimalistic, but it still had touched of your style in it. Chan picked up a framed photo from your desk.

“Is this one you?,” he asked, pointing to a smaller replica of you. “You were so cute.” He smiled looking at the family photo. It reminded him of the awkward Christmas photos his family and him would take every year.

“Are you saying I’m not cute anymore?” You asked, feigning being hurt by his words. Chan’s ears turned a bright red as he tried to backtrack. “I’m playing. I know what you meant.” You laughed, loving how easy it was to fluster him.

“Thank you for letting me hang out here. Someone tried to break into my dorm earlier today, and I just don’t feel comfortable being there right now.” He said after a few moments of silence.

“Oh, I’m sorry someone tried to break into your dorm. If you need a place to stay I can try to help you.” You frowned upon hearing why Chan had run off so suddenly. You reached to take his hand into yours. To comfort him, you told yourself. Chan’s hand stiffened in yours, but quickly relaxed and wrapped around your own before you could remove it. The gesture was so simple. All you did was hold his hand, but it gave him more comfort than he would’ve liked to admit.

“I really don’t deserve you. Thank you.” Chan mumbled, rubbing circles across your hand. You watched him quietly as you tried to think what to say next. Thousands of different thoughts invaded your mind. Chan looked up to meet your gaze. Neither of you dared to move, but it was impossible for Chan to not glance at your lips. You noticed the quick shift of his eyes, nodding your head ever so slightly. With approval from you, Chan leaned in, delicately placing his lips on yours. Chan pulled you in closer to him. His lips were slightly chapped from having been outside a few minutes prior to the kiss.

Neither of you wanted to pull away from the kiss that you both had wanted so desperately, but the alarm on your phone had other plans. You recognized the alarm and pulled away from Chan, rushing over to turn it off. “I’m so sorry!” You apologized frantically. You always set an alarm on your phone so you would start your radio show at the same time everyday, but you didn’t want to kick Chan out.

“What’s the alarm for? If you have something you need to do I can leave.” Chan looked over your shoulder at your phone screen. He thought he briefly saw a reminder about something involving the love radio, but he wasn’t completely sure.

“No, I can skip it for today. I mean, it’s fine!” You set your phone back down, hoping no other alarms would give you away. Chan’s phone buzzed in his pocket before a silence could settle between you too.

“Oh, it’s Seungkwan. He said his friend’s roommate is visiting his parents so I can stay in their dorm with him.” Chan said, typing out a simple reply to his roommate. Chan slipped his phone back into his pocket, “His friend’s dorm is across campus, so I should probably start going now. Thank you, again, for letting me come over.” Chan walked to the door. Before leaving he turned to give you a small wave.

You waited until you heard the click of your door closing before bringing your fingers to your lips. “Damn that radio show.” You mumbled, staring at the place that Chan was standing in minutes ago.

___

The weeks following the kiss you shared with Chan went by quickly. The two of you seemed to be nearly inseparable. Where there was you there was Chan, and vise versa. Chan continued to call into your radio show, though he mostly would go on a tangent about how you made him feel that day rather than ask for advice - though you didn’t mind. You tried to drop hints that he should confess during his call ins, but either never noticed or was still too nervous. Until one call.

“Welcome caller #9. What’s troubling you?”

“It’s me, again. I think tonight’s the night. I’ve been with them as much as possible for the last few weeks, and I just don’t want to put it off any longer. I was thinking about inviting them to the park tonight, but I wanted to get your input first since you’ve been my secret weapon with getting me to this point.” Chan hoped his idea wouldn’t be too cliche, but then again who said cliche was bad?

“I think that’s a wonderful idea Ch- caller #9,” you kicked yourself over almost letting his name slip. “With how it seems to be going for the past few weeks they’ll probably love whatever you do for them.”

Chan was grinning as he thanked you before his call was taken off air. He wasted no time texting you, I know it’s late buuuut will you go to the park with me?

You saw your phone light up with Chan’s message from the corner of your eye. You wanted to reply, but your show still had another fifteen minutes left and you knew if you replied then you’d cut the show short in order to get to Chan quicker. You turned your phone over and pushed it to the edge of your desk for the rest of the show.

As it started getting closer to twenty minutes since Chan sent the text he began to worry that he’d receive a ‘no’ as a response, but as if on cue his phone buzzed with a text from you. Sorry for taking so long to reply, but I’ll meet you at the park in 5 minutes?

Chan smiled as he texted a reply, agreeing to the meeting time. He checked himself in the mirror a few times before leaving his dorm and heading to the park. He practiced what he was going to say to you as he walked, though from afar he just looked like a strange boy talking to himself in the dark. Once Chan walked into the park he quickly spotted you standing under a streetlamp. “Hey!” He called out to you as he got closer so he wouldn’t scare you.

You looked up from your phone when you heard Chan’s voice getting closer to you. “Hey, everything ok? I mean I just want to make sure nothing bad happened since you asked to meet at the park despite it being nearly dark.” You smiled up at Chan as he came to a stop next to you. A flicker of nervousness passed over his eyes, but he still held himself with confidence.

“I don’t know if this is maybe too sudden, but I really just need to get it off my chest.” Chan paused to gauge your reaction. You tried your best to feign confusion despite knowing exactly what was to come. “I like you. A lot. I’ve liked you for quite sometime, but I always would trip over my words when I would be around you.”

The smile you had been suppressing spread across you face, “I know.”

Chan looked at you dumbfounded. “You? How do you know? Wait what do you mean ‘I know’? This really isn’t how I pictured this happening.” Chan rambled on, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t completely throw out the possibility of you rejecting him, but you telling him that you already knew had never crossed his mind in the first place.

“It means that I’ve known you like me, caller #9.” You stifled a laugh as Chan’s eyes seemed to pop from his head at the name he’d been so used to hearing over the phone.

“Wait do you listen to the love radio? Is that how you figured it out?” Chan couldn’t figure out how you knew he was caller #9, and then it hit him. The host’s familiar voice, your alarm, you always texting him once the show is off air. “You’re the host?...” He said, though it sounded more like a question than a statement. You nodded your head in confirmation.

“When you first called I didn’t know it was you, but after Seungkwan set us up as study buddies it became obvious that you were caller #9.” Chan stared at you in disbelief. He kicked himself for not being able to connect the dots sooner.

“So you’ve been helping me win you over this entire time? Hold on, does this mean you like me as well?” Chan’s mind was running a thousand miles an hour. He found himself laughing at the situation.

“I obviously do if I’ve been telling you how to win me over for the past few weeks.” You felt Chan’s arms wrap around your shoulders and pull you into his chest. You snaked your arms around his waist, listening to him mumble the rest of his confession.

“For someone so good at love and relationships one might expect you to already be in one.” He spoke into your hair, but you heard his muffled words clear as day.

“Well, I have you now.” You said, earning a happy hum from Chan.

“Yes, you do.”

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yourtoradorasextendedwarranty · 5 years

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Trans Activism

Okay. So it’s about time I talk about this. First and foremost, I need to get this out of the way. I HATE, trans-activism. Do not take this to mean I hate trans people, as it does not mean that. Do not take this to mean that I don’t want trans people to live peacefully. This is also not the case. With all of this said let me get into what I need to say.

Trans-activism is doing much to hurt Trans and non-trans people alike. This video which links to an article goes in depth about it. Fact of the matter is, we have issues with having conversations about Transgender as a concept. Even the slightest notion of, “maybe this person who says they are trans, is not actually trans” gets you labeled as a transphobe. But if this article proves anything, It’s that trans-activists have done more to hurt people than to help. I know this to be the case because everyone and their mothers at this point lean towards, “OMG i’m so proud that you are coming out as trans! I totally support this. What’s that? You don’t really know if you’re trans? That’s what bigots sound like. If you think you are trans at all, then you just are.”

I can not tell you how often I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen it in real life. I’ve seen it on this hellsite, I’ve even seen it on Twitter and Facebook. Friendship and support is not blind. Nor does it ignore dangers, and science. I have had several arguments with people on Twitter and on here, that have told me hormone blockers have no “side effects”. Are you kidding me? No side effects? Ok lets go over them for those in the back of the room shall we.

-They prevent proper growth.

-They hinder immune system growth.

-Your sexual organs don’t grow in properly.

-After taking them, depending on how long you took them, can make you unable to have kids.

-Your body never fully evens out after taking them for longer than a few months.

-This lack of immune growth and physical growth can lead to other issues down the road.

-Lower bone density

ETC.

And this is the short list. The list for what happens when you start on a hormone treatment to transition can be much more devastating to your body. This is not to mention the fact that it is an invasive surgery, be it male to female or female to male. ALSO, assuming you end up not actually being trans, you might have a laundry list of physical traits you don’t want after the fact. Like for instance, you end up much shorter than you would have. You end up with a lot of body hair you can NEVER GET RID OF, among other things. Though, we never talk about this stuff. Because the only thing trans-activists care about is trying to convince as many people as possible that they are trans. Hell, there is even a movement of them that infiltrate gay and lesbian message boards or chat rooms and literally just keep nudging them to believe they are trans rather than gay or lesbian. Do you understand how sick that is? To tell someone that even if they know they are homosexual, that actually they really, “aren’t” and are actually just the opposite gender? Do you GRASP how fucked up that is? These people are also responsible for “Rapid onset gender dysphoria”. A thing that has not only not been backed by any studies at all but is made up BS, to try and convince people who are not trans that they actually are.

These people are demented. Demented to a degree that makes me worry. Fact of the matter is that these young people in this article are basically fucked for the rest of their lives. And a LARGE number of them are young girls. A decent number of whom have autistic tendencies or are actually autistic. And some of them will have to grow up shaving their faces daily, because trans-activists don’t actually care about them. And they will have to stay in hiding as well. Because progressives and activists will attack them. Call them traitors. Probably even bully and berate them. Fun fact is thought that if you watch this video it talk about something I've been talking about for a long time. Actually trying to treat the root of the body dysphoria. If after several months of working with a person in therapy, they are not showing signs of improvement, then you can suggest to them that they ARE in fact trans.

Trans is not just saying you are trans. And just parading it around to the trans-trenders saying you don’t actually need body dysphoria to be trans is insane. Not only does it de-legitimize what it is to be trans, but it de-legitimatizes all that trans people have had to go through up until this point. It tells them that their struggle is now just some trend for people who want to feel special get to pretend to be. Meanwhile there are trans people out there right now, who are thinking about killing themselves. Because it’s not everything they were told it would be. It’s not all sunshine and roses. It’s not just some simple walk in the park. And what’s more, you can’t pretend it’s because people discriminate against them. Especially if they are passing after all is said and done. And many are. And they don’t walk around saying “I’m a trans man” or “I’m a trans woman”. They normally identify as the sex they have transitioned too. And short of knowing them prior to it all, how would you KNOW, to discriminate against them? Short answer? You wouldn’t.

I’m really tired of us not being able to have a REAL conversation with these people. I’m really tired of these insane activists saying that 3-14 year olds have the MENTAL CAPACITY, to decide they are the opposite sex. Most people don’t even know what identity is until they are into their late teens. And even then, they don’t really know who they are until they are in their 20’s. YES. There are people who have transitioned that are very happy and might stay happy for their whole lives. Props to them and I wish them the best. But this notion that everyone is automatically trans because they are not manly enough, or girly enough is stupid. Tomboys do not have to be trans the same way femboys don’t have to be trans. Hell is it not the progressive thing to do to oppose gender norms? So why the hell do trans-activists push for those same norms so damn hard? If you’re allowed to be a man and wear a dress, then why the hell do men who want to do that HAVE to actually be women? Sounds more like you are the ones enforcing stereotypical gender roles to me.

I want to end on this note though. We need to have a conversation about this. We need to be able to talk about gender dysphoria, and what is being trans. We also need to stop letting parents convince their kids that they are trans. Children say a lot, and many go through phases. And what you all don’t understand, is that if you believe that kids have to capacity to make LIFE ALTERING DECISIONS like being trans and taking hormone blockers or start transitioning before 20, not only do I think you are messed up in the head, but you are also saying in that moment, that a CHILD has the capacity to consent to sex. Both have very life changing consequences, and both require a lot of experience and wisdom to fully understand.

I have a LOT of respect for trans people in general. I DO NOT have any respect for trans-activists. They’ve done so much more to hurt people than they have to help them. Honestly? I feel sorry for these young adults. They were probably “supported” in the same way most trans people are. “Everything will be great! I’m so happy for you! Oh i always knew it! I’ll support you no matter what! Oh it’s perfectly safe when can i take you to look into it?” And what’s more, Doctors are having to go along with it. Out of fear that progressives and activists will get them fired, or get their license removed some how. This is not just physical doctors but psychologists as well. Parents will sit in, and if the doctor does not agree that they ARE TRANS, just like the 5y/o said, the parents will then mobilize a progressive mob against them. This only serves to hurt people more than it does to help. Not only that but it serves to hurt trans acceptance in the broader world. Places that have watched this happen and feel like it’s too much trouble to deal with. This video. The article. Both need to be conversation starters. We need to realize that trans-trenders, and trans activists are screwing things up. Trans people already have enough to deal with. The last thing they need is to become villains. And believe me, if people continue to get hurt like this. Continue to be brainwashed and taken advantage like this. They won’t blame the activists and progressives. They will blame the entire trans community. And if that happens, we might actually fall back years on the progress we have made for trans people.

youtube

#trans #transition #detransition #activism #trans activism

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flightfoot · 5 years

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Memories of Godly Selfishness Ch.4

So I meant to get this out by April Fool’s Day. Clearly I missed that deadline. Still, maybe it’s for the best. I ended up having more to say than I thought, and it’s more angsty than funny.

“Why did I agree to watch this again?”

“Because it’s a marvelous educational film directed by and starring moi.”

Meg stared at me. I relented. “...and because you lost a bet.”

We’d arrived at Camp Half-Blood a few days ago to recuperate and sort out our next move. I’d been delighted to see my children again. If they tell you I blubbered like a baby and couldn’t string three coherent words together though, they’re lying.

The Demeter Cabin welcomed Meg with open arms. She hadn’t had much chance to get to know her siblings due to... ah... circumstances, but from the tears in the corners of her eyes, I could tell she was happy to see her family too.

We’d each sat and ate at our respective tables and got to talking. I’d mentioned to my kids how proud I was of the orientation film I’d made, and how Meg had deprived herself of it. They had some weird screwed-up expressions on their face after I said that, which I still haven’t figured out what they meant. Austin came up with a brilliant idea to get Meg to watch it; have a small capture the flag competition between just the Demeter and Apollo Cabins. If we won, anyone who hadn’t already seen the Orientation film would have to watch it (both cabins insisted on that condition. Apparently both had seen it recently and didn’t want to rewatch it for some reason) while if they won, the Apollo cabin would have to muck out the Pegasus stables.

Naturally we won, because my children are brilliant and wonderful. The Demeter cabin put up a fair fight though. It took me half-an-hour to pick all the burrs out of my hair.

For some reason, the Campers acted like Meg was about to die. They all said that they’d work on making a shroud for her. I still can’t understand why. Sometimes I think I understand demigods, and then they do something like that. Perhaps it’s an inside joke?

In any case, the demigods had helped us set up the viewing equipment and then hastily left before the film could start, leaving just me and Meg.

The movie started with darkness, as all good movies do. A spotlight turned on, illuminating my divine self.

I nearly cried. My long, golden, flowing hair! My cheekbones! My flawless skin! My eight-pack abs! Oh, the cruelty of Zeus knew no bounds! He couldn’t have let me keep my hair at least? The medium-length hair I was now sporting was no good for flipping dramatically, or waving majestically in the breeze! Ah, and that chiton I was wearing. I could never pull it off in my current form, but it showed off my muscular godly thighs so well!

On the screen, I held out a book. I cleared my throat, “A poem by Apollo, recited dramatically by... Apollo:

O Immortal Chiron, Centaur wise and true, Trainer of our heroes, Just remember who taught you. “

Speaking of heroes....

I glanced at Meg, gauging her reaction to seeing my divine self. Her eyes were wide with shock, her mouth slightly agape. “That’s YOU?!” she exclaimed, looking back-and-forth between my appearance on-screen, and now.

“Yes,” I said wistfully. “That’s what I normally look like... mostly. I change things a bit, sometimes appearing older, sometimes younger, changing eye colors and hairstyles too, but that’s a pretty typical look for me.”

She studied me some more, looking less shocked and more inquisitive now. “You look nothing like that now.”

I groaned. “I KNOW.”

She looked back at the screen with some trepidation, as I gave narration. “You’re not gonna bend over, are you? I don’t wanna see your butt.”

I huffed. “I’ll have you know, my butt is perfect.”

“Don’t care, don’t wanna see it.”

I grumbled a little, but secretly I agreed. I’d seen enough of my butt when the gigantic statue of me - with Nero’s face plastered on it - rampaged around Camp Half-Blood.

The next segment started up a few minutes later. This time I was dressed in a glittery suit and my hair was slicked back. An a cappella choir of demigods stood behind me, all dressed in suits. I pointed to the boys and then the girls side, directing them to start singing the background tune I needed. In the present day, I appreciated their ability to harmonize. Clearly none of Hermes’ children were in this segment. I still remembered Cecil’s complete inability to follow rhythm when we needed to appeal the Mama Myrmekes.

After they were properly warmed up, I announced:

“Ladies and Gentlemen... the Lyre Choir!”

As the choir sang a soft, slow background melody, I began singing.

“Marble may be marble-lous,

And wood might be good.

Stone’s a sturdy choice,

for this half-blood neighborhood.

But for my children’s cabin,

I demand something more divine.

so give me precious metal,

and make it GOLD every time!”

I hummed along to the melody. I’d forgotten I’d put in musical segments, but I was glad I did. Nothing could make an educational film entertaining like music!

[Everyone sings]: Gold, gold, gold, gold - there’s nothing quite so bright!

Gold, gold, gold, gold - it reflects Apollo’s might!

I stared at my hands for a moment at that one. I certainly didn’t feel mighty now. And not just because I’d lost my power. I hadn’t been able to protect my children. They’d been kidnapped because of me. Jason had died because of me. The Emperors were still out there, still intent on subjugating all the demigods, like how Nero kidnapped Meg. And Python, my old nemesis, still waited for me, plotting my destruction.

But even if I’d still been a god, what would have changed?

I would have gone after Python, scared as I was of him. I would have defeated him or died trying.

But not much more than that.

Maybe I would have intervened when my own children went missing - if they went missing. That had at least partly been to bait me. I could see leaving a hint to their location, assuming I knew where they were.

I wouldn’t have intervened prior to that. Demigods go missing? Who cares! They go missing or die all the time.

The battle at the Waystation? The struggle against Caligula on the boats? Maybe I would’ve watched. But I wouldn’t have intervened. For all my supposed might, for all the difference in power between my godly self and my mortal self, My mortal self had done more good, made more of a difference than my godly self would have. Just because I was more powerful as a god, didn’t make me mightier.

It reminded me of a story my old friend Aesop told me, about a miser and his gold.

A miser had acquired some gold and buried it in the ground. He visited it for years, digging it up to stare at it and then re-burying it. One day it was stolen. Grief-stricken, the miser cried and wailed, making such a fuss that a traveler stopped by and asked him what was wrong. The miser confessed that someone had stolen the gold he’d hidden. The traveler had asked why he put it in such an inaccessible place, where he’d have difficulty getting it out when he wanted to spend some. The miser, affronted, replied that he’d never even think of spending his gold. At that, the traveler had tossed a stone into the hole, and told him to cover it up, that it had just as much worth to him as the gold he’d lost.

I had not appreciated the moral when I first heard the story. After all, the gold was lustrous and valuable. The stone was not. Even just possessing that gold made the miser feel powerful and rich.

Now I had another view on it. My divinity was like the gold, hidden away, jealously guarded, to be obsessed over, not used. Even as a god, an Olympian, I had done little good for my children, or the people I now counted as my friends. I had power, but I’d hardly used it to help, even when the problems plaguing the demigods were divine in nature, not mortal.

Now... now it was like the gold was stolen, and replaced with a handful of drachma. Not nearly as valuable as the gold, but every piece was actually being used to better the world, instead of being merely stared at.

I was mightier now, as a mortal, than I had ever been as a god, because I was willing to try my hardest to help - something I would either not do as a god, or not do much of.

[Divine!Apollo cuts off the choir, restarting his solo]

Silver suits my sister,

But unattended, it can tarnish.

Roofs of thatch are fine, I guess,

But why not add some varnish?

Vines of wine are creepy,

Meg snorted and rolled her eyes at that one, giving a look as if to say ‘Really? you said that’? Out loud, she said, “Wine isn’t a vine. And grapevines aren’t creepy.”

And abalone smells like fish,

As my divine self continued singing, I replied, “I needed a rhyme. And they are creepy. Why, I remember this one time with Dionysus...”

She shushed me. On the one hand, I was annoyed that she didn’t want to hear my story. On the other hand, it meant that she wanted to hear my singing.

Hah! She could claim she didn’t like my singing as much as she wanted, but I knew the truth.

Red’s too strong a color,

And gray is boring-ish.

That’s why my children’s cabin,

Is made of something more divine.

I’m worth that precious metal -

So make it GOLD every time!

[All] Gold, gold, gold, gold...

I saw Meg mouthing along to the last line. I tactfully did not mention it.

Another segment started up. This time, I wore a white T-shirt, jeans, a leather jacket, and some awesome-looking sunglasses. I lounged on a throne beneath a neon sign proclaiming “Fortunately Apollo’s Here!”

I frowned. What was this segment about?

On-screen, my godly self shouted, “Next!”

A female camper entered and asked, “O, Great Apollo, god of prophecy, tell me, will I ever find love?”

“Find love? I didn’t know it was missing?”

Beside me, I heard Meg groan as she buried her face in her hands.

Meanwhile, I winced at the reminder of my being the god of prophecy... or rather NOT being the god of prophecy.

Back on the film, I cried out, “Next!”

A male camper entered this time.

“O, Great Apollo, god of prophecy, tell me, will I ever be rich?”

“What’s your name, child?”

“Albert, Great Apollo.”

“Well, Albert Greatapollo, I foresee only one way for you to be rich...”

“What is it?”

“Change your name to Richard.”

At that, Meg let out an even LOUDER groan. “You make such dad jokes.”

I didn’t know what that meant exactly, but I had the feeling I’d just been insulted.

A second male camper entered and asked, “O, Great Apollo, god of prophecy, will I ever discover who my godly parent is?”

“Dear child, the answer is right in front of you.”

“Really? Where?”

My divine self stood up and spread his arms, “Right in front of you.”

“I don’t get it. Am I missing a clue?”

“You’re missing a clue alright. One might even call you clueless!”

Meg frowned slightly as the segment ended. “You hadn’t claimed him before that?”

I frowned, hoping I could remember the child. Luckily, my memory felt like cooperating. “I’d claimed him years before that. This was all scripted, he just pretended not to know I was his father.”

Meg nodded, the frown disappearing from her face in favor of a thoughtful expression.

In another segment I jogged backwards across the beach, shooting arrows from my favorite golden bow, campers in full battle gear jogging behind me in military formation. I flashed a blinding smile at the camera as my golden hair flowed behind me. In the present, I bit back a sob.

My godly self began a rousing military chant, the campers repeating each line:

“I don't know but I've been told!”

“We don't know but we've been told!”

“The sun god's got a bow of gold!”

“He's the best shot in the land!”

“ He's the best shot in the land!”

Suddenly, my godly self tripped and landed on his butt. Meg erupted into giggles. I couldn’t help joining her. At the time it was kinda embarrassing, but with what I’d been dealing with the last few months, I was kinda used to that now. And it WAS pretty funny.

“ Augh! I've fallen in the sand!”

No longer being able to follow my godly self, the campers improvised, jogging n circles around me instead.

“ Augh! He's fallen in the sand!”

“ I meant to do that, so don't laugh!”

I snorted. Like anyone had actually believed that.

“He meant to do that, so don't laugh!”

My divine self attempted to get back up. Key word being ‘attempted’. He fell back down on his butt.

“Ow! I hurt my godly calf!”

At this point, both Meg and I were guffawing so hard our sides hurt. I couldn’t BELIEVE I left this in, but I was glad I did. I needed a good laugh, even if it was at my own expense.

“Ow! He hurt his godly calf!”

My godly self glowered at the campers and started to glow. The laughter died in my throat. “If you want to live another day ...”

“ If we want to live another day ...”

My godly self glowed brighter. I sat back heavily, mirth forgotten. Meg had also quieted down, choosing to glare at my past self. I joined her. REALLY? There just HAD to be an appearance of stupid murderous Apollo. I highly doubt I would actually have hurt those campers, but THEY didn’t know that, and I wasn’t COMPLETELY sure I wouldn’t have. Gods I was a jerk.

“STOP REPEATING WHAT I SAY!” my divine(ly stupid) self shouted.

“STOP - um... “

I breathed a sigh of relief. At least they knew better than to purposely antagonize my godly self. I really, REALLY wished I could reach through time and smack myself. A lot.

Meg was quiet.

I looked over at her, worried.

"I shouldn't have said those things."

Meg looked back at me. "Yeah. You shouldn't have. It was stupid."

"I won't do it again," I promised.

Meg's face softened slightly. "I know."

New segment, this time with myself as a game show host. I stared longingly at the open shirt, bright gold lamé jacket I wore. Oh how I wished I could wear some of my old attire! Alas, glittery golden lamé anything had fallen out of fashion for some inconceivable reason. I’d tried to convert Meg to the lamé side, but she kept misunderstanding and thinking I was saying “lame”. ...Or she was teasing me. I honestly wasn’t sure at this point.

I (by which I mean my godly self) opened up the segment:

“Welcome to our first annual Camp Half-Blood quiz show! Please give a warm welcome to our contestants. From Athena cabin... Bea Wise! From Ares cabin... Arnold Beefcake! And representing our cloven-hoofed friends... Ferdinand Underwood the satyr!”

Wait, what?

Underwood? Like GROVER Underwood?

I perked up, listening intently.

Meg leaned towards and whispered, “Is he related to..?”

I whispered back, “Probably. Shh.”

I was still talking on-screen. “Contestants, you know the rules. I ask a question. If you know the answer, ding your bell. Are you ready?”

Wise tapped her temple. “I think, therefore I am.”

Beefcake flexed. “Do your worst!”

Ferdinand, meanwhile...

“Um, I ate my bell.”

Meg giggled. I smiled. Ah, satyrs and their insatiable appetite. That’s one thing Grover had in common with his maybe-relative!

On-screen, my godly self cried, “Excellent! Then let’s begin. First question. Name the serpent I slayed.”

I sat back and scowled. Really? Did I HAVE to remind myself of Python? It’s not like he occupied my nightmares enough already. Nope. He HAD to crop up during the day too. That serpent, always popping up when he wasn’t wanted. For a moment I fantasized about asking Hephaestus to make some sort of serpent-killing machine. Alas, there was no way it would be that easy.

*Ding ding*

Bea hit her bell. Of course she did. Athena’s kids were usually the most knowledgeable of all the demigods. She had this in the bag... right?

I frowned. That didn’t seem right... I couldn’t think of what happened though. I stopped trying to remember and just watched. It’s not like I’d have to wait long for answers.

“Wise?” my divine self called on her.

“That’s not a question.”

I snorted. That also wasn’t an answer.

My past self agreed. “Sorry, ‘That’s not a question.” is incorrect.”

“No, wait, I meant-”

*Ding, ding*

“The serpent was Python!” Beefcake declared.

“Correct!”

Beefcake flashed two thumbs up. “Ayyyyy!”

“Next question-”

Ferdinand chimed in. “So should I just say ding-ding if I know the answer or-”

My godly self ignored him. “Who falsely accused me of flaying him alive after a music contest?”

Really? WHY would I bring that up? Especially since it was my fault I was ‘falsely accused’ of that anyway. I spread that rumor in the first place! I hadn’t wanted people to think I was ‘soft’. Nowadays I regretted it and had been trying to quash it.

Ferdinand’s eyes went wide. He withdrew slightly, looking freaked out. Scared.

I felt terrible. I should’ve known that would freak him out. Why did I include that question, KNOWING that I would invite a satyr?

Of course I knew the answer to that. I hadn’t cared. A satyr was scared. So what? Why should I care about his feelings?

Heck, even AFTER I’d turned mortal, I didn’t care much for a while. I’d freaked out Woodrow. I hadn’t meant to, but me being in his class, playing music, caused him to beg me to not flay him. I’d reassured him at the time that I wouldn’t, but I hadn’t really absorbed WHY he’d been so freaked out. Now I did. I was the satyr’s boogeyman. I didn’t want to be. Not anymore.

What could I do to change that?

Maybe I should ask Grover. I was planning on apologizing to him for that Celedon business anyway. Now I had two more things to add to the list. Ask about Ferdinand so I could apologize to him, and come up with a way to put the satyrs fear of me to rest.

Ferdinand blanched, “Blaa-blaa!”

My godly self ignored Ferdinand’s freak-out. Of course he did. “I’m sorry, ‘Blaa-blaa’ is incorrect. Also, you didn’t ring in. The correct answer is Marsyas the satyr.”

Wise was indignant. “Hang on! I knew that! You didn’t give me a chance to answer!”

“He thought he was so great on those stupid twin pipes, but I sure showed him.”

I glared at my past self, wishing I could shoot lasers from my eyes into the past. Sadly, nothing happened.

Beefcake cheered, “Yeah, you did!”

Wise was annoyed, “I thought you were falsely accused.”

Ferdinand continued freaking out, “Blaa-blaa!”

I felt a pang of guilt. I REALLY hoped this part wasn’t dragged out much longer.

Mercifully, my past self gave me a break. “Final question: Do you know what time it is?”

*Ding-ding*

Wise looked at the sun’s location, clearly using it to tell time. “Two twen-”

“It’s dancing time!”

My godly self ripped off his jacket and shirt and started Hula-hooping.

“Hit it boys!”

Satyrs danced in, flailing ribbon sticks, playing reed pipes, and cavorting around my divine self.

Meg stared at the scene. “This is SO stupid.”

I just grinned.

Beefcake was thrilled “Oh yeah!” He ripped off his shirt, twirling it in the air. “Now it’s a party!”

Wise rubbed her temples, thoroughly exasperated. I’d seen that same look on Athena’s face several times, along with her descendant’s faces. I had long been convinced that it was as much an Athena trait as overly detailed plans were. “I can’t believe I studied for this.”

“Ding-ding?” Ferdinand chimed in as the segment ended.

“That was awful.”

“Well the style was a little... dated, I admit, and maybe it COULD have been more informative, but...”

“Nope. Don’t try to save it. That was horrible.”

Okay, yeah, I could see where she was coming from. Looking back on it now, it wasn’t really the BEST way to present the info. I winced. Especially since most of it came off as an ego trip for me.

It wasn’t just the style of the video that was outdated anyways. Between Thalia’s tree, the Golden Fleece, all the additional cabins and the new rules regarding gods claiming their kids (I winced slightly, thinking of that one. It REALLY shouldn’t have taken a young demigod FORCING us gods to claim all our children and to give recognition of non-Olympian demigods), the Athena Parthenos, and the Grove of Dodona, there had been a LOT of changes. Not to mention the existence of the Roman camp.

Hmm... if it needs an update...

“Well... when this quest is over, if I survive, why don’t we make a NEW orientation film?”

Meg looked over at me cautiously, though her eyes glinted slightly. “This won’t be an excuse to stroke your ego this time, right?”

“Why, I never!” I cried dramatically, clutching one hand to my chest. “I am the pinnacle of modesty, I would never dream of it!”

Meg giggled. I grinned.

Still smiling, she warned, “I’m not sticking around if you rip off your shirt.”

“But I pull it off so well!”

She stared at me.

“Fiiiiine,” I crossed my arms and pouted. Secretly I was happy we could relax and banter like this. The past few weeks had been stressful. We needed to decompress.

“Maybe we should get everyone’s help with the new video?” Meg suggested.

“I was planning on it,” I replied, slightly more seriously. “Being mortal has shown me that there are some things you don’t realize are important unless you’ve been in that situation. The demigods will probably have a better idea what sorts of things other demigods need to know, the sorts of things they WISH they knew when they started camp.”

Meg nodded.

I grinned, adding, “We’re keeping the Hokey Pokey border song, though.”

She groaned, “It was TERRIBLE, no!”

“Oh, come on! I saw the way you smiled while I and the demigods were singing it. ‘It lets the demigods in! It shuts the monsters out! It keeps the half-bloods safe, but turns mortals all about! It’s Misty, and it’s magic, and it makes me want to shout: the border is all about!”

Meg covered her ears, steadfastly ignoring my existence as we exited the Big House.

A few hours later, I stood near the Woods, watching Grover chat with some dryads. Meg had offered to come with me for this, but I’d turned her down. I wanted to have a private chat with Grover. Besides, I didn’t want to eat into her time with her siblings. She hadn’t gotten to know them very well last time, and I didn’t know how much longer we’d be here this time.

Whatever chat Grover was having with the dryads appeared to be winding down. I approached him.

He turned around. “Apollo? What is it?”

I sucked in a breath and slowly exhaled. No need to be nervous. I was just apologizing to a friend.

“Grover? Can we talk in private? Please?”

He looked confused and a little worried. “Um... okay. Where do you want to go?”

“My kids are all out right now, so we can use the Me cabin... if you’re okay with that.”

Silently he mouthed ‘the me cabin’, looking confused. Realization slowly dawned on his face. “OH. Oh right! That makes sense. Yeah, that’s fine.”

We walked over to the cabins. I fidgeted slightly. Come on, I apologized to Percy, and he’s MUCH more intimidating! This shouldn’t be so hard!

That had been more natural, though. I didn’t have to go out of my way to make it happen.

I closed the door behind us and turned to face Grover.

“So Apollo, what’s going on?” he asked.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out. Yeah, that seemed like a good way to start.

He looked confused. “Um, for what?”

I rubbed the back of my head. “You know how I sometimes had flashbacks, re-experiencing the past?”

“Yeaaaah...?”

“Well lately, Meg and I have gotten sucked into flashbacks together, sometimes with others. First time it happened, we were sucked into my memories, and I saw how I acted as a god from an outside perspective. One of the things I saw was that quest I sent you and Percy on. You know, when you got back my Celedon for me?”

“Oh. Oh yeah, I remember that. Heh. It’s only been two years, but so much has happened...”

“Yeah...” they’d been through so much... “so I... just wanted to apologize for... you know... forcing you to go on a quest on your birthday.... and forgetting it was your birthday... and forgetting your name... and threatening to kill you if you damaged my lyre.”

Awkward. This was SO awkward.

He grimaced. “I was scared at the time. I really thought you might incinerate me. That was the WORST birthday I’ve ever had.”

I avoided his eyes, a lump forming in my throat.

“Still,” he continued. “It wasn’t that bad, as far as quests go. At least you made sure to choose people who could definitely do it without dying. And it’s nowhere NEAR the worst thing that a god’s thrown at us.”

“I’m... I’m not going to do that again. It wasn’t right to make you endanger yourselves when I could have done it just as easily. She was my responsibility, not yours. I’m going to try to stop other gods from doing that too. Endangering mortals unnecessarily, I mean. If I can’t stop them, I’ll try to help as much as I can. I... I’m sick of people dying needlessly.”

Grover blinked and studied my face, as if seeing me for the first time.

He exhaled, smiling slightly. “I am too. Thanks.”

I suddenly remembered the other revelations I came to while watching the orientation video. “Do you know where Ferdinand Underwood is? I rewatched the orientation video I made recently. I really freaked him out when I talked about Marsyas, and I wanted to apologize to him too.”

“Oh, uh... he’s not around anymore. Percy, Annabeth, and I stumbled across him years ago. Apparently he’d stumbled into Medusa’s lair and been turned into a statue.”

“My condolences.”

An long pause followed. How do you continue on from that?

Eventually I decided to just plow on through with what I was saying.

“I didn’t flay Marsyas. I just made that up to sound scary. You know that, right?”

“I wondered. After traveling with you for a week, I couldn’t imagine you doing that.”

“I want to put that myth to rest. Stop satyrs from thinking that I’ll skin them if they offend me. And REALLY put it to rest, not the mixed signal thing I was doing before. Will you help me?”

He thought for a minute. “...Okay. I think I know how to do that. We can start now, if you like.”

Now?

“How do you propose I do that?”

He smiled. “Being a Lord of the Wild has privileges. The satyr school is having classes right now. We can talk to the teacher about allowing you to be a guest speaker. I’ll warn you, though. A lot of the kids will probably be scared of you. The Marsyas story is used to warn us about the consequences of getting on the wrong side of a god, starting from an early age. Some of them might freak out a little.”

My chest tightened. For a minute it felt like I was being squeezed by Python. I was used as a warning to kids, to tell them that they had to be good, or else the big, scary god would kill them slowly and painfully. I really WAS the boogeyman. I didn’t like it.

“I don’t... I don’t want to freak them out. I’ve caused them enough distress. Any advice?”

“Be gentle. Don’t get angry or upset. They’ll calm down when they realize that you won’t hurt them. Nowadays, you’re nothing like what we were warned of. They’ll realize that too.”

I breathed out, relaxing slightly. This was fixable. And I could start fixing it NOW, on my own. I could make things better even BEFORE I regained my godhood.

“Thanks.”

As we exited the Me cabin, Grover looked back at me. “I know I didn’t say this before, but... Apollo, you’re a good friend.”

A warmth filled my chest as Grover walked towards the Satyr school.

‘You’re a good friend.’

I never thought those words would matter to me so much.

I’d change things with what little power I had.

I’d do my best.

But I didn’t have to do it alone.

I had friends to help me.

#trials of apollo #lester papadopoulos #meg mccaffrey #memories of godly selfishness #grover underwood #fanfiction #apollo #camp half-blood confidential #the trials of apollo #toa

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iamacolor · 7 years

Text

We met at the library (a Yousana HP AU)- Part 2

Hello everyone! Here’s the part 2 of my little yousana fic. Hope you like it! Thank you to everyone who liked the first part.It’s a bit longer and they truly interact this time :) Part 1 can be found here . More to come

« The theory behind this counter spell was elaborated by Alice Bode in the year 1874 after receiving a spectacular…might require something specifically tailored to work around their specific protections…can not be cast directly at an object as it goes against the third law of charm making according to…. ».

Yousef might as well have been reading a book in ancient runes for all he understood of what was written in front of him. He tried to read the paragraph again but it just seemed like he couldn’t get it into his head. He usually grasps the concept behind charms quite easily as it’s one of his favorite subject but he’s really struggling with this one . And of course the one he struggles with has to be the one that helped to create at least a dozens of the most important modern counter spells. It just has to. He feels as though he’ll never be able to understand it. He looks over to Sana to see how she’s doing with her own work. Fine, as always.

It’s been a few days now since they’ve worked next to each other for the first time. Everyday, they come to the library, look for the other or chose a table. They don’t talk, simply say « Hi ! » when they sit down. They haven’t even agreed on keeping a seat for the other or on putting all their books on the table to make it look like it’s occupied when in reality, they’re just waiting for the other to show up. It just happened. He likes working next to her and seeing her coming in the library or seating at a table knowing that it’s okay to sit with her. If he could actually understand what he’s reading, then it would truly be a good study session.

As Sana is completing her ancient runes translation, she hears Yousef sighing several times. He is usually so calm and silent when he is working that she can’t help but notice the little things that betray a certain distress. The way he’s running his hand through his hair, the way he’s fidgeting with his quill…

“-Yousef!

- Uh? What? he raises his head and looks at Sana who is now pointing at his book splattered with ink. Oh no!”

He quickly cleans the mess with a quick spell and thanks her for telling him. He then goes back to staring at his book.

“-This is not going to help you, you know, says Sana, You have to read it not just stare at it.”

He sighs again.

“-What’s wrong Yousef?”

He is surprised that she’s asking as they’ve never talked before and he doesn’t know if she really wants an answer to her question or if she’s just being polite. The concerned look on her face tells him all he needs to know. When Sana Bakkoush pays attention to you, it’s never “just to be polite”. She truly cares. Maybe telling her will help? She’s only a fifth year so he doubts she can actually give him an answer but he just need to let out some of the stress right now.

Sana can see him hesitating to answer her question. Has she crossed the line? Maybe he doesn’t want to be bothered when he’s working? Well he’s not really working at the moment, is he? He’s just sighing and what’s the point of all this sighing if he doesn’t share what has been bothering him?

“-It’s just Charms. I really can’t understand the theory behind one of the counter spell, says Yousef. It just refuses to enter my brain and it’s crucial for the rest of the chapter so I’m screwed.

-Ah yeah, they’re tricky. Which one is it?

- Oh it’s the one about the protection of …Merlin I can’t remember. It’s something about transportation. I don’t know actually. I just know that it’s linked to the third law of Galmerton in a way. And I’ve been reading about it for thirty minutes. I’m doing just great as you can see.

-Oh yes, the one elaborated by Alice Bode! Wait a minute, I know how to help.”

She then stands up and leaves for the Charms section of the library. Yousef is left alone wondering how on a earth a fifth year can know about something he just learned (or tried to, really). He didn’t even tell her the name of the counter spell! How did she guess which one it was?

She’s now coming back with a book and a smile (a charms book and a smile? Truly charming, Yousef thinks before wishing really hard that no one in this library has any Occlumens abilities). She seats down and says:

“-I’ve read about what you’re working on during the winter holidays. We started talking about spells and counter spells in class but as I’m only a fifth year, we didn’t really go into details. Which is a shame because it’s honestly one of my favorite subject. Here, read this part, then I’ll explain to you how this is applied to the counter spell.”

After he has finished the paragraph, she starts explaining to him the different parts of the theory and how the elements combine. She can feel herself getting really exited talking about this. Charms has some of the most interesting theories of magic and she’s glad that all this extra reading can be used to help Yousef. She even adds some great details about Alice Bode as well as an explanation of the Laws of Charms Making by Galmerton. By the look on Yousef’s face, he clearly understands everything she is saying and that makes her really proud. She finishes her explanation and waits to see if he has any question. All she gets, is Yousef staring at her. With a stunned look on his face.

“- What is it?

- Sana how…how do you even know all that?

-Well, I read.

-Yeah obviously. Sana, this was amazing! Oh my, you’re so smart. My teacher was never able to explain this properly and you just made it perfectly understandable in a minute. You even added details. And you’re just a fifth year! Wow.”

He feels a new rush of hope about his future in Charms and feels forever grateful to that first year who made his paper plane land on his notes fifty times in the common room which lead him to the library. Yousef’s thoughts at this moment can be summed up in one sentence: “Wow, wow, wow, she’s just a fifth year, wow wow, wow, she is amazing”.

“- Thank you so much Sana, you’ve just saved my year.

- Don’t forget to give me a shout out when you get your diploma then, says Sana

- Won’t do, Ma’am !”

At this moment, the bell rings and Sana stands up go to her next class. She waves goodbye at Yousef who’s staying in the library as he has a free period. She immediately regrets waving as it is, in her mind, something that only little girls do and if there’s one thing that she doesn’t want to be associated with, especially by Yousef, it’s a little girl. But he waves right back at her and suddenly, waving isn’t such a ridiculous thing to do.

He watches her leave with her books under her arm, thinking about how she didn’t make him feel stupid at all for not understanding something that she reads about in her free time and that she obviously has a good grasp of. She probably knows more about it than his teacher and she was actually excited to share her knowledge. He knew Ravenclaws were nerds but he had no idea, prior to talking with Sana, that it could be such an endearing and even attractive trait. Just as he is thinking that, he sees Elias (who happens to be Sana’s brother) entering the library. He ducks his head right away and concentrate on the book Sana gave him to avoid being noticed.

……………

After this day, they continue their study sessions togetehr but instead of working next to each other, they actually work together. They’re quizzing each other, reading each other’s essays, looking for books together.

Everytime there’s a book that Sana can’t reach on an upper shelf, Yousef tries to grab it for her. She hates feeling small (even if, she has to admit it to herself, she like the idea of him helping her), so, instead of letting him grab the book, she uses a spell to levitate the book right into her hand. When he asks with a pout why she won’t let him be a gentleman for her, she replies that he has to let her be a lady. And a true lady would never force anyone to make a great physical effort for her.

“-A great physical effort? I just have to reach for the shelf, it’s not that hard.

-Well, best not to take any risk at your age. You might hurt yourself.

- I’m only two years older than you Sana, stop making me feel like an old man.

- You know that grumpiness is a characteristic of old age?”

And she says it with such a cute smirk that Yousef can’t answer anything. He loves the banter between them, he loves how it’s just easy with her. Even when she hasn’t read about what he’s studying, she can always help him understand, In return, he makes her feel at ease and she opens up about what she wants to do after her owls if she gets the results she needs to follow the courses necessary to train at St Mango’s

“-Sana don’t worry, you will get good grades, you’re a top student, says Yousef everytime she seems to doubt her results

- I know I’ll get good grades, Yousef but they need to be excellent! So that I can follow all the newts courses that I want! I need excellence.

- And you’ll get it, I’m sure of that.”

#yousana #yousef acar #sana bakkoush #skam #skam fanfiction #bitchesbecrazy89 #my writing #i'm really getting into writing

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