Bruce’s kids detest Valentine’s day because no matter where they are he finds a way to get them their valentines gift (usually new weapons or a better suit because he’s emotionally constipated)
As for Bruce he’s too busy scheming to wonder why all his old flames, current flames, and best friends are fighting. (They want to be his Valentine)
WITH THIS OCCASION—
What Bruce gets for Valentine’s Day:
Dick: Promises not to prank him for a full week and/or reignes from the police force
Jason: A formal handshake followed by a moderate cuddling session, except it lasts way longer, because Jason falls asleep. Sleep has been damn near extinct without Bruce holding him, so, no one’s in any hurry to wake him.
Tim: Hacks LexCorp’s finance department. Surprise surprise, the owner of a mega conglomerate doesn’t pay his employees properly.
It’s just bad enough that Lex can be threatened. Bruce gets half of Lex’s workers livable wages and healthcare.
Stephawnie: A comically tiny collection of batarangs
Alfred: A week long supply of Sufganiyot; Martha’s recipe.
Damian: He and Talia handcraft Bruce a list of his enemies and tell him to take his pick! Bruce just nods and frames it somewhere. (He does pick Ra’s)
In addition to that, Talia buys his favorite perfume and hypothetically wears it over lingerie, but shhh—
Clark: Learns Bruce’s favorite planet/galaxial body and makes jewelry out of it. Law physics mean nothing to romance, and to a country boy in love.
Harvey: Very classic? Big ass bouquet of flowers. Like, Bruce disappears behind it, kind. More chocolate than he could eat. Also, lots of martial arts equipment.
Plus some nerdy Gray Ghost merchandise that, “I love you like a sin, but I will kill you if you wear this outside.”
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Merch Tier Revived!
As of this month, I've officially revived the Vexteria tier on Patreon and Ream as a Merch tier :D
This is the one you're looking for:
Memberships at Ream
Memberships at Patreon
I've been thinking about it for like a year and I've finally figured out a way to do it without breaking my brain (or the bank) and handling overseas postage.
While there are other bonuses in this tier, I've finally figured out how to get around overwhelming postage costs with twice-yearly drops of merch to those who subscribe for 4 consecutive months in the Evan & Vexteria tier within that period.
This is what shipped out to followers in the second half of 2023!
x 2 notebooks (lined) + postcards (with recycled paper envelopes) + vinyl stickers + a signed personalised individual letter. In this first instance, I am also the artist of this merch.
Here's me preparing everything :D
Each merch shipment will be different items and different themes - sometimes fanart, sometimes quotes, or focuses on different stories. The items can individually change too. It might be journals, more varied stickers, other forms of stationary, enamel pins, and more.
What do you get in this tier?
In this tier you get access to everything. All the early access, the merch, you get credits in all future books (which, with publishing hopefully kicking off in 2024 means seeing your name in print a fair bit!), and see any other extras I choose to share.
Why 4 consecutive months to be eligible for that 6 month drop?
To cover overseas shipping costs, which start at $20, and to also cover the raw cost of the merchandise, and also still be able to make an income off Patreon or Ream in this tier.
I like the look of an older merch bundle, can I get that instead?
Only if there's stock left over for that! And you can't get both at the same time, so if I can make a bundle based off past merchandise for you, it will be in lieu of the current bundle.
How is it shipped? How long does it take?
It's all shipped super safely. Before I worked as a writer, I worked as an artist selling fragile traditional art pieces. I've shipped over 500 worldwide. Your merch comes in a water resistant plastic sleeve that is sealed and very durable, and that goes into a thick envelope that has bubble wrap incorporated into it to make sure everything arrives safe and sound, even in inclement weather.
Because I'm shipping from Australia, items can take 2-6 weeks to arrive.
Could you ever send merch more often?
Not at the current price/s of this tier! Many overseas / non-US writers don't actually offer merch drops like this at all, and offer digital items, or only do Print-on-Demand which means nothing can be as personalised as writing you a letter of gratitude and celebration of your awesomeness.
Doing it this way means I can put a personal touch in there, and bundle everything, and know that everything's shipping safely with materials I really trust. :) It also means I can inspect every single item personally to make sure it's up to my standards before it goes to you!
Where do I check this out?
Go have a look at the memberships over on Patreon and Ream! You want the Vexteria & Evan tier. :D
Memberships at Ream (You can join for free here and follow me here without subscribing and just get a feel for it first!
Memberships at Patreon
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A huge THANK YOU to the people who have been on this tier for ages even without these kinds of rewards. Your support is so incredibly invaluable, and I can't wait for you all to receive the first Augus & Gwyn themed merch drop. :D Y'all made this possible, and I appreciate you so much.
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If anyone has any questions, hit me up! I'm super hyped for this. I fully understand if it's not something folks can afford, and I'm hoping to find a way to make merch more widely available in time, so that folks don't have to miss out, but until then, we have the Merch tier back up and running for the first time since about 2014!
Things like this keep the lights on, and keep the stories coming out to you over time, and more than anything, y'all have no idea how much fun I had writing individual letters to the folks in this tier, celebrating what I really loved / thought was awesome about them.
All right, thanks for your time, I'll get back to posting chapters now :D
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Pharma's place in a Functionist society (headcanon)
So I've talked in some previous posts about all the reasons that Pharma isn't a functionist because canon never showed him espousing functionist ideals + he's actually in a place to be a victim of functionism. And I've been working on a Pharma-centric oneshot that made me put into words the best metaphor I can think of for Pharma's relationship with Functionism:
He doesn't support Functionism, but is simultaneously a beneficiary of it and also marginalized by it, because his position of being forged both a doctor and a jet basically turns him into a "token minority" of sorts.
I know that sounds kind of silly or maybe like a clumsy political allegory, but hear me out. There are a couple facts about Pharma and the circumstances of his forging that put him at the crossroads between privilege and marginalization within Functionism:
Tyrest says that Pharma was "famous for being forged." Not famous for being a forged medic-- otherwise surely Ratchet would be just as noteworthy-- but famous for being FORGED. But also, note that this is an opinion that SOCIETY had about Pharma, not something that Pharma espouses about himself. (For the sake of an example, Pharma isn't Starscream, who has an explicit, deep-seated need for others' love and approval. Pharma himself doesn't express any opinions on his own popularity or convey that fame/adoration is something he wants.)
Functionism on Cybertron held that if someone was born with a certain alt-mode, they can/should only have certain jobs. For people born with flight alt-modes, those people were almost always regulated to military or transportation/courier jobs
SIMULTANEOUSLY, Pharma was forged with medic hands, which under a Functionist society were viewed as the peak of medical care and all the best doctors were forged or at least had a "special something" that non-forged hands lacked (according to Ratchet).
So taken in combination, this means that from the moment of Pharma's birth, he straddled a line of Functionism between two different "predestined" paths for him, where he was simultaneously forged to be a doctor and also forged to fly, fitting into BOTH of these categories despite norms of Functionism which say you're one or the other. And I speculate that the reason Pharma is "famous for being forged" is precisely because of those lines he straddles: his very existence is a contradiction, but he was also FORGED that way. The same creed that dictated the two different functions of "hands" and "alt-mode" also says that Pharma should be what he was born to be. What he was born to be was a forged medic jet.
In my opinion, I think that being "famous for being forged" is sort of like a token-minority situation for Pharma, where perhaps Pharma was seen as a curiosity or even something exotic, not just as a person. Maybe because he was a jet and people assumed jets were only soldiers/transportation, a lot of his achievements were put in the light of "Oh, he's a really amazing doctor, for a jet" or "It's crazy that he's a doctor AND a jet at the same time". The attention Pharma received for the unique circumstances of his birth WAS positive, but it would've likely been framed in a bit of a condescending way, as if Pharma is noteworthy and famous not for being a good doctor, but for being a good doctor despite being born a jet.
So I would say that as far as Pharma's personal experience with Functionism, he simultaneously experienced privilege and marginalization. He enjoyed the privileges of being a medic while avoiding the restrictions of being a flight frame. However, a lot of the idolization and attention he received would have also come from a place of tokenizing Pharma: he's "famous for being forged," because in this society he's defying expectations merely for existing as himself. That is to say, Pharma in a Functionist society wasn't treated as remarkable because of who he is as a person and how hard he worked to be a good doctor; he was treated as remarkable for the circumstances of his forging, something he had no control over and can't change, and apparently Pharma being a forged medic jet is such a noteworthy origin that he's "famous" for it.
The above paragraph is purely headcanon, of course, but I like to imagine that part of Pharma's reason for having a big ego isn't out of simple vanity or insecurity, but because of a sort of "gifted student" syndrome, in a sense. From the moment he was forged he was treated as a rarity and an incredible phenomenon, and he would have had to work incredibly hard to be seen as "an incredible doctor" in his own right rather than just "that forged medic jet." Maybe, as a jet, he also had something to prove; he had to show to a Functionist society that being a jet doesn't make him an inferior doctor and that his alt-mode has nothing to do with his skills at his profession.
That is to say, I don't think Pharma would have been openly anti-Functionist, or had many opinions about it at all. I actually lean towards the interpretation that Pharma basically saw himself as getting lucky with the way he was forged and being content with the fact that he'd managed to carve out a reputation for himself as being incredibly skilled. However, Pharma not getting involved politically in Functionism doesn't change the fact that he WOULD have had a very complicated relationship with Functionism, in that alt-mode discrimination would have had an effect on him even though he was in the scientific/medical class and supposedly privileged.
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Sometimes i wonder why Eddie and Lauretta could find Carlo attractive. Like he's not the most handsome man, he's arrogant and self-centered, with some oddities, occasional paranoia (but given the last scene with him in canon - he can be relatively charismatic?). but i've long been of the opinion that it's all about his energy??? assertiveness? ambitions?? i mean judging by the records about him Carlo really tried to make the most of this life??? Connections with journalists and politicians, the planetarium, charity, he had a company in Ohio, he found new ways to earn money ( was the first to go international in fact 😭)
He also seems to have generally used material patronage as a way to gain loyalty?? I'm saying this because of the Mickey the Crab story, it's written that he used to be in the Vinci family, but moved to Falcone's because Carlo paid more and got him out of the army (+he gave Eddie a brothel in gratitude for his loyalty; +in ch10 Carlo emphasizes that he will pay Vito and Joe well if they successfully take out Clemente)
anyway. just an old thought
Upd. And funny how it's the absolute contrast with Clemente, who uses intimidation and cruelty to his men. Now I'm wondering how Carlo came to this way of connecting with people (=materialistic)
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