#I’m sleep deprived and on my period and this is what happens because of it

[anxiouspotatorants]

Don’t mind me I’m just thinking about how Rory almost destroyed her life and definitely destroyed her sense of self trying to please everyone around her not because they explicitly demanded it of her but because she grew up with a deep rooted unadressed view of her own existence as the destruction of Lorelai and Christopher’s lives, causing her to be constantly mindful of what the world might expect of her and desperately trying to not just meet those demands but a whole lot more no matter the cost because that’s the only way to make up for the fact that she exists and is alive

#like how am I supposed to not want to wrap Rory in the tightest hug and then twelve blankets and seven pillows #I’m sleep deprived and on my period and this is what happens because of it #the rory gilmore is good actually tag #rory gilmore #gilmore girls #gilmore girls meta #the potato rants

[euno11a]

Tattooed Hearts VI

Genre: No one to someone Tattoo artist! Jungkook X Reader

Summary: What happened to us? Why did we end up like this? It was only a one time thing. Now it’s ruined us both.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, mentions of hookups, insults, arguing, blood, mentions of period, insecurities

Pt I • Pt II • Pt III • Pt IV • Pt V *** “Please, god, leave me alone!” You shouted at Jungkook for what seemed to be for the hundredth time. “No, no! I want you to tell me! What did you mean when you mentioned ‘the other woman?’ What woman are you talking about? And why the hell do you care?” He yelled back, chasing after you down the sidewalk, people were definitely looking and probably judging. “Why can’t you drop it, Jungkook?! I was tired and I rambled, something you’re used to!” Yelling at him the other day when you weren’t thinking straight was definitely the wrong choice. Look at you now! You’re literally running away from him. “Because it’s not every day you hear the girl you slept with yell at you for sleeping with another woman!” You stopped, making him almost run into you. You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him aside, a deathly glare on your face. “Keep your damn voice down. I don’t need the whole of Main Street knowing we slept together, which might I add was a huge mistake!” Jungkook scoffed, leaning in close, “You begged for it, night after night. Not my fault you were drunk on my dick.” He spat back, not knowing how childish both of you were being. You groaned, wanting to strangle him right then and there. “Listen, I was sleep deprived and running off of coffee. I spoke out of line, so just forget it.” You walked off, being stopped when he grabbed your waist, pulling you in close. “Knowing you, you wouldn’t mention something if it wasn’t on your mind. So would you just fucking tell me what ‘other woman’ you’re talking about?” Jungkook kept a tight grip on your waist, not letting you budge. You sighed, feeling defeated you reluctantly told him. “The woman you fuck in the tattoo parlour. The one I walked in on you fucking in the break room. That woman.” He froze, tilting his head a little “Are you serious? God, you’re jealous of Cathy, Y/N? Holy crap, get a grip! And when the hell did you walk in on us?” His grip on you loosened, allowing you to pull away from him. “None of your business. Anyways, now you know, so please leave me the hell alone!” You began walking away again. Leaving Jungkook standing dumbfounded beside some bookstore. You got a mere five feet away before you were being grabbed again, “She’s not my girlfriend.” *** It had been three days since Jungkook told you that. But why had he told you that? Did he feel obligated to do so? Did he pity you? So many questions that would never be answered. Your phone rang, an unknown number appearing on the screen. You: Hello? Unkwn : Hey, I didn’t think you’d pick up. You: I’m sorry, what? I don’t even know you. Unkwn: Y/N, come on, I’m not that unforgettable. You paused, thinking for a moment…holy fucking Christ! You: Jungkook, how the hell do you have my number? JK: I’ve got my ways, I’m magic in other ways too, you know. You: I never thought you were magic before. JK: That’s a lie and you know it, the amount of time I’ve made you cum with my magical fin- You: Okay! Jesus, what do you want? JK: I want to talk, duh. You: Lies. Bye then. JK: No! Wait! Don’t hang up…please… You: Why shouldn’t I? JK: Because I want to talk to you. You: Well I don’t want to talk to you, so goodbye. You hung up the phone, throwing it beside you. What the hell was happening now? Why did he want to talk with you all of a sudden? You looked over to the bouquet that was still sitting on your counter, noticing something you hadn’t before. Signs of purple were poking out from the corners of the bouquet, making you stand up to see them closer. Taking out your phone, you took a picture of it, grabbing your jacket and running out your door. Hopefully Ms Eloise was in shop today. *** ”That would be a betony, darling. It symbolizes surprise…why do you ask?” Ms Eloise asked, handing you your phone back. You took your phone back, swallowing a lump in your throat, “I just noticed it in the bouquet…and it’s odd, the flowers somehow remind me of something…but I can’t figure out what.”

Ms Eloise smiled, grabbing your hand, “It’s okay to think about him, sweetheart. It’s understandable that you would.” She thought you were thinking of Jungkook…no, she knew you were thinking of him. Oh my god, you were thinking of him! After chatting for a while, you walked out of the flower shop, slowly making your way down Main Street, to your favourite bar. You sat down in a small booth, sipping your rum and coke. Dazed, you didn’t notice Jungkook who’d shown up a few minutes earlier. “You know, it’s rude to hang up on people.” He said as he sat across from you in the booth. Looking you up and down, seemingly checking you out. You made eye contact with him, bitterly laughing, “It’s also rude getting someone’s number without them knowing and then calling them randomly.” Your comment made him chuckle, fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. Those fingers that had been in you once…stop it! “I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just wanted to say hi.” “You never want to ‘just say hi.’ So what do you want, Jungkook? I’d rather you just spit it out so I don’t have to play guessing games with you. Also so I can preferably drink alone.” “I want you.” The comment made you choke on your sip of rum and coke, coughing into your elbow. You looked at him bewildered, “Excuse me?!” “Come on, Y/N, you heard what I said. I want you.” He said it again! And so nonchalantly as well. “Uh, no.” “Why not?” “Because I said so.” “That’s not an answer, Y/N.”

“Yes it is.” He scoffs, leaning back in the booth, staring at you. His tongue prods at the inside of his cheek, was it just you or did the room just get extremely hot? He leaned forward, lowering his voice so only you could hear him. “Listen, I don’t know what the hell happened between us, all I know is that I can’t get you off of my damn mind. I can’t think or sleep, I can only think of you.” “…you should become a poet.” Why was that the only damn thing you said?! How stupid are you??? “Why should I even let you try to pursue me? You walk around fucking everything and anything that gets your dick wet. I can’t fucking trust you.” “I know, I know you can’t. What can I do to prove that I actually want you? That you’re not just a fuck and leave?” He sounded desperate…sincere almost. You thought for a moment, taking a sip of your drink, placing it down on the table. “If you want me…like genuinely want me, you have to beg for it.” He looked at you, dead in the eyes, nothing about him seemed in a joking manner. “I’ll beg as much as you want me to, baby. As long as I get you in return.” Taglist: @talyaaas-blog @cassies-cookies

@junecat18 @jk97bam @bluewarmsunshine

#bts #bts army #bangtan #bts x reader #bts fanfic #bts jungkook #jungkook #bts smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader

[devils-little-sista]

This is just me kinda projecting my sleeping habits onto Nico don’t mind me

Nico goes through a cycle of three different periods where he doesn’t sleep at all for a while and then he sleeps 24/7 for a while and then it kinda evens out but it’s backwards like he sleeps for most of the day and is awake all night and if he has things to do during those days he will take naps in between doing things. And the cycle rinses and repeats.

Sometimes there are triggers for these insomnia and depression nap episodes and sometimes Nico has no idea what the trigger was and he thinks maybe it just happens naturally sometimes.

I think it started when he came to camp halfblood in the titans curse. The question is: I’m not sure if it started with full on insomnia or his circadian rythum going topsey turvey. He mention somewhere in TTC that he doesn’t sleep well at camp. Could mean insomnia or turning nocturnal. The trigger was the big change in his life of being a demigod and crushing on Percy and Bianca leaving him and dying. Has an insomnia episode right after he runs away for sure the trigger being Bianca dying.

And in the battle of the labyrinth I think he’s mostly having a big long insomnia episode. Except for that one time he was chillin at that ranch house with the older son of Ares what was his name *reads writing on hand* Eurytion. And Nico came out the house with a giant robe on that was the only time he had slept in battle of the labyrinth he probably slept for like 2 days straight depression nap and then went right back into an insomnia episode. The trigger for this episode: Minos and trying to bring Bianca back and the labyrinth and Minos driving him a little insane

And then in the last Olympian I think he started out going through that backwards circadian rhythm cycle. He’s mostly sleeping during the day and up all night. But he’s got stuff to do during the day now he’s gotta help Percy get the Styx curse in the underworld. He’s very tired throughout the whole visiting May Castellan ordeal. And after the underworld incident he just kinda has to force himself into an insomnia episode so that he can convince Hades and Persephone and Demeter to fight in battle of manhattan.

And for the weeks after where he stays at camp he just takes little cat naps during the day and up all night. Despite him actually trying his hardest to sleep at night and be normal it just doesn’t work he eventually gives up

And then in son of Neptune he’s definitely in the midst of an insomnia episode. Just the way he acts throughout this book is borderline manic (maybe actually manic). He doesn’t sleep at all in Tartarus. When they put him in the jar he has to force himself into depression nap even tho him and his body want sleep deprived manic insomnia episode.

When he gets out of the jar on the Argo 2 I think he has a lot of insomnia he’s very scared to sleep for many reasons. Nightmares and giants and goddesses wanting to send dream messages to him. He wants to ignore them like they’re not there like they’re an annoying email. But he’s not as manic during this episode if he is he doesn’t show it. He’s got no energy for mania. He just barely keeps himself awake for a several days and eventually passes out. For 2-4 days. He wants to lay in the med bay cot he slept in forever he never wants to get up. But eventually he makes himself get up so as not to concern Hazel. Forced himself into another insomnia episode after another.

Then in blood of Olympus he’s wanting to sleep forever but has to force himself awake for this quest. But then right after BoO he spirals on insomnia. Stays up for about 6 and a half days total. There was a lot going on those days and Nico wanted to be awake and aware of everything happening. Collapsed on the 7th morning after Gea is defeated. Sleeps for several days. Only gets up because he got bored and wanted to hang out with Jason.

And I don’t know what comes after that. I don’t remember much of Nico in ToA so idk man. I think this is the end of the line for me now. I’m going to sleep now good night guys.

Oh wait no I forgot about the sword of hades short story. I thinks he was in insomnia episode. Because it happens in the middle of the day and Nico said he had been at a graveyard in New Jersey before Persephone shadow summoned him. And he seems very awake throughout that whole ordeal. And I think after he had a long sleep.

#Nico di Angelo #Nico di Angelo insomnia #Nico di Angelo sleep #Nico di Angelo sleep problems #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #PJO #Heroes of Olympus #HoO #The Titans Curse #The Battle of the Labyrinth #The Last Olympian #the sword of hades #the demigod diaries #the demigod diaries: the sword of hades #The Son of Neptune #The Mark of Athena #The House of Hades #The Blood of Olympus

[cookinguptales]

I said I’d do this and here I go

Nandor and Guillermo’s relationship through slumber.

Now, Nandor and Guillermo have always had a fairly interesting dynamic when it comes to sleeping. All vampires are forced to rely on their familiars to protect them during the day, which I think must be a subject of some wariness when they first get a new one, but I think for most vampires that mostly means “I trust you not to open my coffin while I’m asleep, and I trust that you won’t because I am giving you enough incentive not to.”

It’s always been different with Nandor and Guillermo. He doesn’t just trust Guillermo to not kill him while he’s asleep. He trusts him to care for him and actively protect him. He gets petulant when Guillermo isn’t there to hold his hand when he wakes up. He asked Guillermo to sit outside his coffin so he’d feel safe enough to go to sleep. Guillermo is the first thing he calls for whenever something is happening outside of his coffin and he doesn’t know what it is.

Guillermo makes Nandor feel safe. And this was before he even figured out the slayer thing, or that Guillermo could actually do anything to protect him! Even when he thought that Guillermo was completely useless in a fight, he still felt safer with him outside of his coffin.

Guillermo, on the other hand, does not allow Nandor to watch him sleep. This is largely professionalism and knowing that (early seasons) Nandor would bitch at him for sleeping on the job, but Guillermo also seems to have some issues here. By his own admission, he barely sleeps. We see him depend on stimulants such as 5-hour energy and coffee beans a lot. He seems to have this overwhelming sense of responsibility that won’t allow him to sleep nearly as much as he should, whether it’s because he needs to do chores, protect them from vampiric assassins, or babysit Colin Robinson. He gets pretty agitated due to lack of sleep sometimes and seems a little resentful when he doesn’t get to sleep, but no one’s actually making him do this. As far as I can tell, no one actually tells him what to do during the daylight hours -- and at least half the year, that means he actually has more time to himself than he does with the vampires.

But he still chooses not to sleep.

I think it’s a control thing with Guillermo. I think he takes on all these insane responsibilities even on top of the things he’s actually ordered to do. He has this pathological need to feel useful and he feels like if anything bad happens it will ultimately be his fault. He has these overwhelming protective and nurturing instincts, and I do think that’s part of why Nandor trusts him to take care of him. But it’s also why Guillermo always manages to burn himself out. When he loses his temper and/or leaves, it’s often paired with periods where he’s taking on too much and refusing to sleep. (And I do think it’s telling that when he was working for Celeste, a master for whom he felt no real protective instincts, he was shown lounging around and relaxing in bed.)

So that brings us to 4.06, which had two really interesting scenes re: sleep. I mean obviously, there’s this backdrop of both of them being completely fucking sleep deprived for the entire episode and that heightening both of their already sky-high emotional states. But I’m thinking about two specific moments.

The first is when Nandor’s thinking back to wasted wishes and his wish that the Djinn use magic to close his coffin. He doesn’t want the Djinn to close it himself. Even the Djinn seems to realize this. When he offers a manual rather than magical solution, it’s not him getting up and closing it, an objectively simpler solution. No, it’s getting up and fetching Guillermo to close the coffin. He seems to understand instinctively that Guillermo is the person whose job it is to do this, whom Nandor trusts to do this, who is supposed to do this.

But Nandor shoots that down, saying with Guillermo it’ll be “a whole thing”. And it will! The Djinn totally acknowledges this! With Guillermo, it’s a whole bedtime ritual. It’s handholding and soft conversations and whispered promises of protection. It’s clothes-changing and hair-brushing and a sense of protection, care, and intimacy that seems to overwhelm Nandor at times. And when he just wants to fucking sleep and is too emotionally exhausted to deal with all the things that Guillermo makes him feel, he just wants his coffin to be closed. He doesn’t want anyone to close it. He doesn’t wish for the Djinn to close his coffin. He wishes that it’s closed.

(And I think that also confirms that Guillermo is still doing these morning/evening rituals if even the Djinn knows about them and their role in Nandor’s psyche.)

I think that the Djinn knows it’s going to be a whole thing -- and he also understands that it’s a whole thing that is important to them both. That’s why he offers to get Guillermo in the first place. But I think he also understands that it’s a thing that can be kind of overwhelming for Nandor at times, which is why he just uses his magic to close the coffin, acknowledging that Nandor is right. With Guillermo, it’s never just closing the damn lid. And the Djinn doesn’t want to take Guillermo’s place -- he does not close the lid himself -- but he does allow Nandor the freedom from having any presence there at all. That’s what that wish really was. The freedom from feeling anything too intimate.

And then, god, then we have Guillermo finally falling asleep in a building full of vampires. He didn’t even do that in the episode when Colin Robinson was draining all of them. He stayed awake even for that. But he’s finally been pushed too far. It was a week that both physically and emotionally exhausted him, and for reasons he doesn’t seem to want to interrogate too closely. I don’t think this was a matter of trust; even if he trusts Nandor implicitly and Nadja and Laszlo... sort of... he doesn’t know most of the other vampires in the building. I think he was just completely spent and could not physically stay awake any longer.

And Nandor protected him. Sure, it wasn’t vampiric assassins, just two little dumbasses with a Sharpie, but Nandor finally got the chance to do for Guillermo what Guillermo has always done for him. Chase off the baddies. Touch him tenderly. Speak to him softly. Tuck him in. Protect him from embarrassment. Make him feel safe enough to go back to sleep.

It’s so fucking striking how tender Nandor is in this scene, especially compared to the frankly vile way he treats his actual wife in the episode. I’m not sure we’ve ever seen Nandor look half that tender. It was almost uncomfortably intimate to watch, like we as an audience were intruding. But Nandor seemed happy to do it, happy that he was finally getting this chance to care for Guillermo in his sleep, too. Happy to see Guillermo finally getting the rest he so desperately needed. Happy that Guillermo would go back to sleep under his hands. Happy to protect him. Happy to be able to show care.

There’s been such a role reversal between them over the years, and I think it’s been emphasized a lot in s4. Guillermo fighting for Nandor, Guillermo defeating him, Nandor caring for Guillermo after he gets hurt, Nandor comforting and defending Guillermo when he’s angry, Nandor serving him during the family interview... and now this. Nandor finally caring for and protecting Guillermo’s slumber. The tenderness that Guillermo has always reserved solely for Nandor finally coming back to him through softly crooned words.

Oh... Oh, my heart...

(And ofc, Nadja sing-shouting THE HOUSE MATE as Nandor patted Guillermo had me like “oh my god... they were house mates...”)

#wwdits #wwdits s4 spoilers #wwdits meta #long post #nandermo

[officiallyashley]

BNHA HEADCANONS— (more) polyamorous relationship between the bakusquad

NOTES: enjoy! These are more headcanons on poly Bakusquad (that ft my oc who is apart of the bakusquad)! These headcanons are kinda whatever was coming into my mind at the time I was writing this, so there isn’t a specific theme to these headcanons.

WARNINGS: no warnings!

{~~~}

They have various properties where everyone gets together three times a year. 

Once in the summertime, during fall break, and during Christmas break. 

I mean, they see each other in between those times of the year obviously 

And this property is HUGE. I mean, it kinda HAS to be huge because of how many people and kids there are. 

So Mina, Katsuki, and Ash live together with their kids. Denki and Jiro live with their daughter. Hanta and Eijiro live together with their adopted daughter, along with Mina and Kiri’s son and daughter. Mina occasionally stays over at Hanta and Kiri’s to see her son and daughter. Later on (I’m talking a long time like Sukiko is twenty years old when this happened), Ash and Hanta have twins (Kenji and Vivienne), who end up living with Hanta and Eijirou.

They all occasionally rotate (i.e. Ash sleeping over at Denki and Jiro’s for the night or Katsuki staying over at Kiri and Hanta’s place for the night). They would do it more, but they all have kids and jobs that keep them suuuuper fucking busy. 

So Jiro and Denki’s daughter is named Yuka Shiko, Kirishima and Mina have twins named Ema Aoi and Riku Kyo, and Kirishima and Sero adopt a daughter renamed Cecelia Rose (better known as CeCe). 

Ashley is known for being a levelheaded and calm person. Nothing really sets her off too much. However, there are serious moments where Ash is just… too calm. Sometimes it’s unsettling, but it’s only because when something horrible happens, Ash’s first initial response is shock and she would rather not express her emotions. Once the situation sets in for her, Ash shows more of how she feels. 

Mina, Ash, and Jiro cherish their girls' days. Their boyfriends know that. 

Like the girls will be walking around a shopping center or something and they all get texts from their group chat. 

“Mina, they’re spamming us with phone calls.” Jiro said. 

“Okay, well, just ignore them. Today is our girls day!”

“Hey, hon, they’re trying to FaceTime us.” Ash said. 

“But today is our day! Don’t answer it. They can text if it’s anything important! 😤👏🏼”

Their boyfriends do this purely to annoy Ash, Mina, and Jiro and to be clingy. 

They’re saying stuff like:

yo, Jiro, have you seen my socks? — Denki

Ash, what’s for dinner? — Sero

Their boyfriends will also take boys’ days. 

And that’s when the girls take revenge 🤟🏼🤪

Heya, Katsubae, can you guys pick up Ash some Oreos? Thx, babe! — Mina

Yo, Sero, do you mind picking up some cookies? Sugar cookies and red velvet, to be exact. Thx, dude. — Ash  

Katsuki sticks his tongue out when he concentrates. It’s so cute omg 🥰🥰

When she eats and drinks, Ash does a little dance in her seat. She doesn’t even realize that she does it, but Mina has clips on her phone of Ash eating and drinking and doing her little wiggle for proof. It’s honestly really adorable ☺️ 

Denki is the group’s phone charger. Period. ✋🏼

Ashley, Denki, and Kirishima are often found napping together. 

Kiri and Denki are touch starved and they know Ash is the epitome of sleep deprivation so they’ll get touchy with her and ask her to take a nap with them, which she does. 

Hanta and Ash binge true crime videos on YouTube. It’s one of their favorite pastimes. 

Denki loves it when Ash acts innocent because he knows that Ash is anything but innocent. Everyone knows that Ash is anything but innocent. 

The Bakusquad takes Halloween and Christmas very seriously. These are their favorite holidays, and these are the holidays that they go all-out on. 

Jiro loves making playlists full of songs that pertain to her lovers. She’s made a playlist for all of her lovers individually, and she’s made one for the entirety of the group. Jiro has her own separate playlist, too. 

The entire Bakusquad has binged played all of the FNAF games in one night. Afterwards, Sero, Denki, Katsuki, and Mina all crashed on a pallet on the living room floor while Ash and Kirishima fell asleep together on the couch. 

They also did that for all of the Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Undertale, Deltarune, and various other game series. 

𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. 𝐢 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐚. 𝐢 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐞𝐭𝐜. 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐥.

#bnha #mha #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #bakusquad headcanons #bakusquad polyamorous relationship #bakusquad x reader #bakusquad polyamorous headcanons #bakusquad x oc #kuriyama ashley #jirou kyouka #ashido mina #kirshima eijirou #kaminari denki #sero hanta #bakugou katsuki #officiallyashley #ashwrites

[not-alien-girl-v]

Hello! Could I request a tate langdon x trans male reader? (Sorry for requesting tate I know you get him alot)

note: you know what you are right i do get tate a lot but the tumblr girlies have been eating him up lately so this one goes out to the transmascs and/or tate lovers. also writing this on my phone and my fat ass thumbs are not doing all that work of clicking shift so this will be all lowercase. anyway i’m writing this sleep deprived at midnight so i am going to wake up tomorrow morning and forget i wrote this most likely

warning: language probably idk i write my warnings before i write the fic and i just predict what the fuck im going to add in idk i should stop

the dead of winter makes things feel quiet. you barely hear your mom in the kitchen though you are just in the room over. it’s not snowing outside, it doesn’t do that in la, like, ever, but it would be nice maybe once.

you feel the vibration of your phone. you’re sitting on the couch and it’s in the back pocket of your jeans and you don’t want to stand up to fish it out so you flop yourself sideways and grab it. you have three notifications, and in your mind, you make a mental ranking of their importance.

3. bereal went off, though it happened hours ago and you don’t bother to take the picture because who cares

2. about 46 minutes ago, your friend texted your other friend in the group chat, talking about some concert tonight for people you’ve never even heard of before

1. your boyfriend, tate, texted about the same concert, but in this case, offering to take you with him to the show

not to play favorites, but a night out alone with your boyfriend sounds like more fun than a night with your freaky little friends. sure, they were a barrel of monkeys… in their own way, but you’d much prefer a long night in working at a puzzle with them than a raging concert.

‘?’ Tate texts again. You opened his text and he saw the read receipt but you’ve just been sitting there contemplating the meaning of life for minutes now.

‘maybe’ you reply and renter your deep thought once more. it would be fun, you’d have a good time and he’d be happy… but you have been wearing your binder for at the very least 10 hours now, and you had plans to take it off in a little bit (granted you were procrastinating) and that was something you didn’t want to deny yourself.

they say you’re not supposed to exercise in a binder, but that’s never stopped you. back in high school, you had PE 3rd period, and it’s not like you were just gonna go through the trouble of taking it off for a one hour block every single day and then put it back on once the class is over.

that’s the same now, though you don’t have a PE class, you are an avid mosher in the pit and you don’t want to be boobs flying everywhere. you don’t even want boobs at all, but top surgery is expensive, and your insurance only covers testosterone shots so you make do with what you can.

‘maybe?’ he texts back and he didn’t include it in the text, but you can feel a :( radiating from his end of the line.

‘tummy kinda hurts idk’ another thing, he doesn’t know you’re trans. it’s no big deal, truly, you know he’d be super supportive and respectful if you came out and nothing would change between the two of you but that doesn’t take away any of your fear of telling him. this relationship has been going on for 6 months now, and it seems like the longer you wait to say something, the more awkward it will be once you do.

‘:(‘ he texts and you frown a little as well in real life, and you put your phone on the table and walk into the kitchen. your mom is baking those little sugar cookies from target with the snowmen on them and you swear if you got close enough, you could eat an entire tray full of them.

but you’ve already spoiled your dinner enough with the potato chips you now realize you’ve abandoned in the living room and walk back to your room.

your bedroom is small yet well decorated, giving it a cozy aura, even more when you light a peppermint candle. you finally remove your binder and it feels like a breath of fresh air for the first time today. twisting your arms around, you stretch out and then put on a tank top and bundle up in your bed because it’s so damn cold out.

you put your headphones over your ears and play some random song off a playlist tate made for you and all is well in the world until you think you hear your mom screeching your name from the kitchen. of course, the second you pause the music and rip of the headphones, it’s dead silence once more, so you put them back on. there’s the noise again. if she’s really trying to contact you, she can just text you rather than test out her echolocation skills.

a moment later, she does text you.

‘someone at the door go get it’

as polite as ever, you have no choice but obey and slump to the front door, unhappy that your unwinding time has been interrupted by some rando at the door. when you open the door (albeit, grumpily), it’s not a rando, but it is in fact your boyfriend.

“tate! what are you doing here?” you don’t mean to sound so unhappy about his presence, it just comes out like that and of course you notice how quickly his eyes trail downwards on your body. you follow them too, until they land on your uncaged boobs. shit. “oh, um.”

“aren’t you going to invite me in?” he doesn’t say anything you thought he would and for that, you hold the door open for him and step aside to let him in.

“so, what are you doing here?” you ask again since he didn’t respond the first time.

“you said your stomach hurt, and mine kinda hurt too, so i thought i could come over and we could be in pain together. what do you think?” the whole time he’s been making his way to your bedroom, though he hadn’t been in your house very many times, he knew where he was going. he kicks off his shoes at the base and launches himself onto your duvet.

“you’re so thoughtful,” you crawl in next to him and hook one leg between his own, immediately experiencing the glory of his body heat.

“i tend to think so.” there’s that silence again. sometimes peaceful, sometimes deafening, because you know there’s something left unsaid. so you open your mouth again.

“um, so, about the boobs thing,” you start and pause to swallow, realizing you must look like a nervous character on tv right now.

“it’s okay.”

“it is?” you don’t dare lift your head to look him in the eye.

“of course. it doesn’t matter to me. you’re still hot,” he pokes you in the side and you chuckle at him.

“stop it, you silly goose,” you joke back and you can feel the physical cringe his body does.

“and i love you no matter what,” it’s quiet, but you hear it, muffled by your cringe minecraft bedspread. you love him too.

#ahs #tate langdon #evan peters fanfiction #american horror story #evan peters x reader #tate langdon x reader #evan peters #evan peters x you #fanfic #fluff #transmasc #trans rights

[thesmollestsnek]

I’ve seen a lot of fics n headcanons where Dick Grayson has adhd, and I see you. But also. Consider: Tim Drake having (undiagnosed) adhd. As a certified adhd bitch myself, I have A Lot to say about this, so more under the cut.

Before we get into it, just a quick disclaimer: pretty much all of my dc knowledge is from fandom osmosis, so. If you see something that’s ooc or contradicts canon no you didn’t. Now with that out of the way, on to the main event!

Okay, so! First of all, let’s start at the very beginning. That’s right, I’m talking about Tim Drake’s “night photography”! Now I’m not gonna say neurotypical kids don’t get up to some dumb ass shit when left unsupervised for long periods of time, because they absolutely do. But. The complete disregard for the many, many dangers a young child alone in Gotham at night would face is still notable. And he doesn’t just ignore danger - he runs straight at it. That shows an impressive lack of impulse control, and inability to factor future consequences into current decisions, both of which are hallmarks of adhd. Plus, hyperfixation kinda… changes? How you perceive things. So if Tim was hyperfixated on getting the perfect shot whenever a major crime/fight happened near him, he may not have processed that he was danger at all during the part most likely to scare a neurotypical child away.

Next, we have the coffee. Yes, I know the coffee thing is super overblown by the fandom and not really supported by canon but ssshshhhhhh my world my rules Tim drinks lots of coffee. Now, this one’s kinda obvious, but caffeine is a stimulant and surprise surprise so are most adhd meds. I have seen firsthand how ppl with undiagnosed adhd will mainline caffeine as a form of self medication, whether they’re aware of it or not. Some people use soda or energy drinks, but coffee’s also a really popular choice for this kinda thing. So not only is it completely plausible for someone with undiagnosed adhd to self medicate by drinking a shitton of coffee, it’s extremely common.

Next up! We have the insomnia. Which, again, I think might be played up a lot in fic? But this is my world and you’re reading in it, so. Tim’s an insomniac. This is one of the less well known symptoms of adhd, but again I speak from firsthand experience when I say it’s a big one. Insomnia is extremely common among ppl with adhd, for a couple reasons. One is time blindness, which I’ll come back to in the next point. But also? It’s just really hard to turn your brain off. And if a large portion of Tim’s brain space is being devoted to casework, guess what. That inability to turn one’s brain off will manifest as late night case solving blitzes. Not to mention that hyperfixation, again, changes the way you perceive things. When I hyperfixate on something I often lose hours at a time, and bodily needs like hunger, tiredness, the bathroom, etc aren’t just unimportant they straight up don’t register. With the number of times I’ve come out of a hyperfocus to realize that I have a dehydration headache that’s been brewing for at least an hour, or have completely skipped a major meal, or desperately need to pee, I can 100% believe Tim not noticing any sleep deprivation symptoms until he’s finished whatever he was working on. And I, again, speak from experience when I say that if you happen to hyperfixate at something at the wrong time of night you will be staying up way later than is reasonable. Which brings me to my next point of…

Time blindness! My most favoritist thing in the whole wide world! (/sarcasm) This shit can and absolutely will fuck up your ability to be a functioning human if you let it. Having no internal clock causes more problems than the obvious losing track of time. It means your appetite is sporadic at best and you could very easily forget to eat. It means your sleep schedule has a tendency to just disintegrate if you don’t keep on it. It means being completely dependent on external clocks to know how long things are/should be taking, even for stupid shit like cooking food or brushing your teeth. It means that if you don’t set an alarm for something there is a very real possibility that something isn’t happening no matter how much you want or need it to. In short, it completely fucks up your ability to care for yourself without a lot of external regimented support. Now, who does that remind you of? Which member of the batfamily is known for neglecting his own health? I may not read many comics but the sheer number of “Tim Drake subsists solely on coffee and spite” jokes on ao3 and tumblr is very telling.

His brains. Tim is very, very smart. Have you ever heard the phrase “twice exceptional?” It describes Tim Drake to a t. Plus, I’m living proof of how you can be both smart of brain and dumb of ass. This may be more of a “my family who just so happens to consist entirely of twice exceptional adhd dumbasses” thing than something most ppl with adhd experience, but. You can be really smart and incredible at putting together complex plans, both ahead of time and on the fly, and still have. No common sense whatsoever. Which seems to be a lot of Tim’s characterization: incredibly smart while simultaneously being a complete dumbass. So make of that what you will.

And most compellingly? I think it’s funny. This kid is brothers with Dick Grayson and best friends with Bart Allen and especially next to those two people would never expect Tim to be the one with the quote unquote “cant sit still disorder”. Yknow what? Let’s take this a step further. Let’s make Bart autistic. (I don’t know enough about the flash family to say how accurate this is but for the sake of the joke let’s say he is). People see Impulse standing next to Red Robin and they think they know which one is adhd and which is autistic and they are Wrong. Tim n Bart are Completely unaware of this but the rest of their team finds it hilarious. There’s probably at least one running joke about it.

#tim drake has adhd (you can’t) change my mind #btw I don’t mention it here but my version of batman is 1000000% autistic #I’d offer to give headcanons on which batfamily members I think are which flavors of neurodivergent but. #I’m not NEARLY as familiar with any of the other things I headcanon them as #also none of the other headcanons are quite as solid as this one #I think Bruce n maybe Jason are autistic. Damian’s def got Something going on but idk if I care to put a name to it #dick most definitely has some cptsd but also? I think there’s a portion of ‘weird’ things he does that aren’t from anything specific #he’s just Like That #there’s most definitely some more stuff floating around in the family I highly doubt any of them is 100% neurotypical #I just can’t be bothered to figure out who’s most likely to have what and why lol #maybe some of my other nerdy neurodivergent peeps can chime in with their thoughts? #and just to reiterate: #all of my dc knowledge is from fandom osmosis and that’s how i like it #headcanons #dc headcanons #tim drake #tim drake headcanon #red robin #dc red robin #red robin headcanon #adhd #adhd tim drake #adhd red robin #neurodivergent tim drake

[quotidian-oblivion]

Wasn't tagged but decided to do this.

Repost and tell me how you draft as you write. Do you write in order? Do you start with something particular? How fully formed does your writing come out the first try? How many drafts do you go through? Tell me about your process because I’m curious!

*takes deep breath* o k a y.

First off, I rant. Don't know when, don't know where, once it was on a family trip on a ferry. But I rant. I rant about the plot. Sometimes, it's an excited rant, sometimes, it's an angry rant. My fics are always born out of some type of emotion. I rant pages and pages. If there isn't enough ranting on a doc, the fic doesn't work out (unless it's a oneshot), simple as that. Most times, I rant in one go. I cannot go back to ranting if I get interrupted for an extended period of time. So if I'm ranting about a possible fic, and someone interrupts me, they'll probably dead (/j). But occasionally, for some fics (it's random), i manage to go back and rant out more of a plot for them. The ranting nearly always happens at night.

Secondly, I let the rants stew for a long long time. Like wine in the basement. I don't know how alcohol works, I'm Muslim. But you get the idea. Oh! Another comparison, I let my rant-fics stew for a while like bread dough before you put it in the oven. Yk? To let the yeast to its thing. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna stop now. Sometimes, I go back and read the rants. Just for fun. Cuz those rants are fics made just for me and I enjoy them to the fullest extent.

Third, I come back if I'm in that fic's mood and decide to flesh it out and add chapters. And so I create the first chapter, copy+paste the part of the rant which will fit that chapter, and then I add more details to flesh the rants out a little more and make it into a more substantial and understandable plot. I add some missed details, close some holes, this is the most crucial part of my editing because this is the only time where major editing happens. If I need to make a major edit when I'm later on in the fic-writing process, I abandon it (most of the time). So yeah, this is the most crucial part. Sometimes, the chapter notes (I call it chapter notes), get so lengthy and detailed that they're good enough to be first drafts. So I consider them first drafts most of the time rather than chapter notes.

Fourth step, I do the extra bits. Which is generally the spontaneous stuff and whatever comes in mind. Like tags, ao3 notes, research etc.

The fifth step is actually writing it out. Or well, turning the first draft into a second draft, more comprehensible for other people reading. This is best done when I'm sleep-deprived and at night while I'm in bed with my sisters beside me, dozing off as my phone repeatedly falls and hits my face.

Sixth and last step is just editing. Grammar, little plot holes, adding or deleting a line here and there. Usually, this happens over a course of weeks cuz the bigger the gap I visit the document, the better I edit and think more objectively and clearly about this. But if the gap is too big, I get insecure and think the fic is cringe and delete the whole document. Just kidding, I stopped deleting my writing a while ago, but I abandon the story and shove it to the deepest depths of my head and docs. While writing, because I don't want the flow to break, I leave notes for future me [like this] (bolded and underlined in square brackets) and most of the time, they tell future-me about why the character has done a certain action, or what they will need to do next, and more commonly, telling future-me to find synonyms for words or the meaning of words I know, but am unsure about.

Aaaaaaand, then I post!

Obviously, this is different for one shots. One shots, are spontaneous and are generally written in one-sitting, but not all the time.

Oh! Also, I write chapters in order, but I don't plan it in order (which includes ranting and chapter notes). Sometimes, I get visions of cute moments or just stuff I want in fics and they're almost always actually comprehensibly written out scenes rather than babble only I can fully understand, and they go at the bottom of the document under 'Extracts'. The extracts can happen at any time as long as it is before the last step. If it comes when the sixth step is in place, I don't write it down or transfer it to another fic.

Anyway, yeah, I like rambling about things. This was really long. Ig I go through a total of... 6 or 7 drafts? Including the ranting as a draft. But this is only for multi-chaps. Oneshots vary.

No pressure tags: @wakkoroni @sardonic-sprite @tristicorde @cygnusdoesthings @pevensiechase @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego @uncertainwallflower

#quotidian convos #writer tag game #fanfiction writer tag game #quotidian writes

[impossiblesuitcase]

I have a few ideas for how Kai and cinder find out that she is pregnant the third time (which I don’t think was super planned) either 1. Their oldest who is about kindergarten age randomly comes up to cinder one day and is like “mama do you have a baby in your tummy again?” And cinder like “what? No of course not” well about a week and a test later turns out she was wrong. Or 2. One day in the evening they are sitting in bed together and Kai goes “can I tell you something? I think you’re pregnant.” “What??? What does that mean? You THINK I’m pregnant??” Long story short other people can tell when she’s pregnant even when she cant

I love both of your ideas! I also headcanon that their third isn't quite planned.

My idea runs off the infertility theme I have going. So after Cinder and Kai have their 2nd child, Kai's fertility is pretty low and their doctors say that it's essentially impossible they will ever conceive without IVF. Cinder decides to stop using birth control because it's messing with her hormones. She and Kai of course know that she could fall pregnant, and Kai says that would be the best outcome. But they doubt it will happen. Their youngest is about a year old, so they decide they'll wait awhile before having the procedure for a third.

Flash forward several months, Iko keeps bugging Cinder to take a pregnancy test. Cinder dismisses her because she feels fine, and sure, she hasn't had a period in a few months, but her doctor assured her that her body would take a while to reset after stopping birth control. And her pregnancy symptoms were so intense with the first two, and now she feels fine! It's nothing.

Oh, it's something.

I don't quite know how she finds out, either one of your two ways would fit there. Anyway, she finds out she's pregnant, is completely shocked. Kai finds out, is completely shocked. Then they are both shocked when her doctor says, "right, so you're just about to enter your 2nd trimester."

Classic case of "I didn't know I was pregnant". Cinder feels like the pregnancy was only 6 months, because she didn't even realise for the first three 😂. They are of course thrilled, although nervous because of the small age gap between the youngest two and how sleep deprived they'll be. So while this baby was a surprise, it wasn't necessarily 'unplanned'. And Cinder has much milder symptoms, which she is very happy about.

#tlc #the lunar chronicles #lunar chronicles #linh cinder #kaider #emperor kai

[riotwritesthings]

I Want Love in the Aftermath

Minor Nat/Clint, Minor Pre-WinterIron, T, 2k - Humor, Team breakfast, Avengers family shenanigans

Ayyyyy I’m back after a very long break (forced by my mean brain, it’s a whole thing) with some silliness. Because of course I am.

This is a birthday gift for a friend, based on a real conversation the time he forgot the word for ‘afterglow’. Also dedicated to Dani, for responding without question when I messaged her at 1 in the morning to ask her opinion of various Avengers’ sex terms, the Clint/Nat is just for you BB

A normal breakfast with the team gets weird. Which is actually also pretty normal.

~~

Sam isn’t sure when he became Natasha's relationship consultant, or how.

To be fair, lots of strange things have happened around and to him since he joined the Avengers, but somehow this feels like the strangest. Every time she casually corners him to talk about Clint it throws him for a loop, and it's even weirder when she actually takes his advice.

He's not complaining, exactly, but there are some things Sam could do without hearing. Especially when they're horrifically sleep deprived after a long mission and trying to wait out the last of the adrenaline. Its ass-early in the morning, Sam hasn't slept in about thirty six hours, and all he wants is to finish his breakfast before passing the hell out.

"So then he starts juggling," Natasha says around a mouthful of the toast she stole off of Sam's plate,"which yes, is usually very cute, but not when I'm trying to enjoy the aftermath--"

“The what?” Sam interrupts to demand, so vehemently that Steve's head jerks up from where it's been drooping dangerously low over his bowl of cereal.

“The aftermath..?” Natasha repeats slowly and she looks genuinely confused, but it's impossible to tell with her.

“You call it the aftermath?” Steve asks, blinking quickly like he's trying to make sure that he's actually awake.

“Is that not what it’s called?” Natasha asks innocently while stealing Sam's other piece of toast.

“No," Sam says and finally sets down the forkful of eggs he's been holding, because this is much more important, "what the fuck—“

“Pretty sure it is," Natasha says, taking a pointed bite of toast before continuing, "you’ve got clothes thrown everywhere, everyone is sweaty and exhausted and bruised? What else would you call it?”

“It’s called the afterglow,” Sam sputters and he still can't tell if she's messing with them or not.

“That doesn’t sound right,” Natasha says, her nose wrinkling, and if she is fucking with them she is so convincing.

“What are you doing to people?” Steve asks, horrified, and then visibly shudders when she winks at him.

“Well, what do you call it then?” She demands of Steve.

“I call it private,” Steve says with a sniff and shoves a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.

“Boo,” Natasha says, and Sam has to agree.

Sam has his mouth open to demand more answers, but when Clint and Bruce walk into the kitchen he swings his attention towards them instead. “Clint,” he barks, “what do you call that time period when you’re just hanging out with someone after sex?”

Bruce apparently inhales whatever's in his mug in surprise, probably tea, because he chokes and then starts coughing. Clint just grins brightly as he begins thumping Bruce on the back.

“What, you mean the aftermath?” Clint asks, and looks genuinely confused when Natasha crows in victory.

Sam isn’t falling for it though, and he narrows his eyes at Clint as he accuses, “She told you to say that.”

“Say what, aftermath?” Clint asks, still slapping at Bruce’s back absentmindedly.

“I knew it!” Sam shouts.

“You knew nothing!" Natasha insists, pointing a fork at him.

"No more missions without sleep," Steve mutters to no one.

“You can stop hitting me now, I’m good,” Bruce says with a wince and edges out of Clint's reach.

“Tell him I didn’t tell you to say that!” Natasha demands, turning to point the fork at Clint, and Sam makes a noise of protest when he realizes it's actually his fork.

“She didn’t tell me to say that,” Clint parrots instantly, suspiciously, while grabbing the pot of coffee that's just finished brewing.

Sam cheers, throwing his hands in the air, and happily ignores the withering glare that Natasha shoots at him.

“But!” Clint adds loudly before further arguments can break out, “I did get it from her. She said it once when we first got together and I thought ‘aww, that’s fitting.’”

“Aww?” Steve repeats, his face creased in confusion and his spoon frozen halfway to his mouth.

“I shouldn’t have asked Clint,” Sam mutters to himself, “that’s clearly tainted data.”

“Hey,” Clint protests as he drops into the chair next to Natasha, still holding the coffee pot.

“Of course she’s rubbed off on him—“

“Heyy,” Natasha says, wiggling her eyebrows.

“- I need to ask someone else,” Sam finishes decisively, “collect more data.”

“Very scientific of you,” Bruce says and holds up his mug in cheers from where he's taken a seat at the safety of the island.

"Well what do you call it then?" Natasha asks, spinning towards Bruce.

"Whatever option isn't 'aftermath'," he replies, looking vaguely pained.

"So you're Team Afterglow," Sam says with a nod, and Bruce's pained look gets deeper.

At the sound of more footsteps approaching the kitchen everyone’s eyes flick over to Sam before shifting to fix on the doorway, and the way they do it nearly in unison is more than a little creepy.

“That was very creepy,” Sam tells the room at large.

“What’s creepy?” Tony asks as he steps into the kitchen, not even pausing at all the attention, “other than all of you staring at me, of course.”

“Hey Tony—“ Sam starts.

“Don’t ask him,” Steve protests with a groan.

“What do you call that time period when you’re just hanging out after sex?" Sam asks, gleefully ignoring the tired glare Steve is leveling at him.

Tony actually stops in his steps to consider the question carefully, his finger tapping against his chin. Then he points at Sam as he finally says, “Foreplay.”

Bruce chokes on his tea again while Clint makes loud noises of agreement, and Steve looks down at his cereal with a weary sigh.

“Not helpful,” Sam says with a groan, and Tony just shrugs shamelessly.

“Why are we polling people’s sex nomenclature?” Tony asks as he finishes crossing the kitchen. He steals the coffee pot out of Clint’s hand, ignoring Clint repeating ‘sex nomenclature’ to himself under his breath and the fact that Clint was just drinking straight from the pot.

“Because Natasha is ruining my life,” Sam says heavily and holds out his hand to take the coffee pot as soon as Tony is done filling his mug.

“Sure, sure,” Tony says with a nod and apparently no further questions, handing over the coffee and then blowing Natasha a kiss when she glares at him.

“I just want to eat my breakfast,” Steve grumbles into his cereal bowl.

“No one’s stopping you,” Clint points out, although he does appear to be leaning across the table towards Steve.

Clint hooks one of his fingers over the rim of the Steve's cereal bowl, narrowly avoiding dunking it into the milk, and starts to slide it towards himself. Everyone in the kitchen watches as Steve blinks slowly and then finally seems to notice, slapping at Clint’s hand only to miss and whack the edge of the table. It makes the entire thing jump, and Sam and Natasha laugh a little too hard as milk and cereal slosh everywhere.

“If you are trying to take a poll, I think you need a bigger sample size,” Tony says thoughtfully, dropping into a chair at the table now that scuffle has settled. From the island Bruce makes a noise of agreement, and Tony grins.

“Hey, if you wanna call a press conference,” Sam offers, happily ignoring Steve’s protest of ‘what, no’ to continue, “then I will happily take a proper poll.”

Tony has his mouth open to respond, but at the sound of approaching footsteps they all spin to face the doorway again.

Bucky freezes before taking even a single step into the kitchen, his eyes moving over everyone staring at him and clearly considering bailing.

“Don’t run!” Sam demands, spinning a little in his chair to better face the door.

“Run,” Steve advises tiredly, barely looking up from what's left of his cereal.

“I think I’m gonna run,” Bucky says and shuffles back another step.

“Stay and take our sex poll!” Natasha calls gleefully, then shoots a sideways look at Clint when she notices that he's picking spilled pieces of cereal off the table.

That gives Bucky pause long enough for Sam to shout out his question over Steve’s noises of protest and the rest of the table laughing. Bucky glances back down the hall, like he’s still considering running for it, then sighs and steps fully into the kitchen.

“What do I call what?” Bucky asks, one eyebrow raised like he can’t quite believe the question and failing to completely hide what looks like a tiny, bemused smile on his face.

“You heard me,” Sam says flatly, “now what do you call it?”

“I don’t —“

“Everyone else has answered!” Tony insists, “this is weird family bonding, Frosty, get on board.”

Bucky looks around the kitchen doubtfully, searching all of their faces for tells, but he’s met with only nods and serious, expectant looks.

And Sam can’t be the only one who notices the way Bucky’s gaze moves back to Tony far more than it needs too, right? Apparently he is, though, because Steve is once again distracted trying to protect his breakfast from Clint while Natasha cheers them both on, and all of Bruce's attention is on adding sugar to his tea pinch by pinch. So Sam is also the only one who sees it when Tony winks at Bucky over the rim of his coffee mug, and he hasn't had nearly enough sleep for this.

At least Bucky shrugs and begins apparently pondering the question, giving it the thought it deserves on this weird-ass morning. Everyone in the kitchen waits with bated breath, and only slight distraction when Steve swats at Clint again, until Bucky nods decisively to himself and steps a little further into the kitchen.

"Aftermath," Bucky finally announces, and then flinches a little when the room immediately explodes in noise. “What?” Bucky demands over the sounds of Sam complaining loudly and Natasha howling with laughter, "you asked, an' thats my answer.”

"Why," Sam groans miserably and grabs for the fork that Natasha is jabbing at him, "why is that everyone's answer?"

“Fits, doesn't it?" Bucky asks with another small shrug and starts shuffling further into the kitchen, "clothes everywhere, everyone's sweaty and sore and covered in bite marks? Aftermath."

That spurs another burst of noise from the rest of the team, most notably Steve loudly dropping his forehead to the table and Natasha throwing her hands in the air with such force that her chair rocks in place. Bruce appears to be eyeing the doorway and planning an escape.

Unfortunately, the reaction that Sam is most aware of is Tony snorting into his coffee before wiggling his eyebrows and saying, "Oh, I do like your style."

"That's enough weird breakfast for me," Sam says and shoves his chair away from the table, "it’s gonna take me a couple days to sleep off this mess."

"You started this conversation," Tony points out with a laugh.

"No, Natasha started it," Sam protests, "right Steve?"

Natasha pauses in finishing off Steve's cereal, which she somehow has, to smile innocently. Steve still has his head down on the table, and he appears to be fast asleep.

"I'm running away from this family," Sam says and pushes himself tiredly to his feet.

"I'll come with you," Bruce says, standing from the island and clutching his mug of perfected tea to his chest, "it's been awhile and my disappearing skills are getting rusty. How do you feel about India?"

"Is it far away from these people?" Sam asks as he shuffles after Bruce, happily ignoring Tony and Natasha booing them.

"Not in my experience, no." Bruce says heavily.

"See you in a couple hours for training!" Natasha calls sweetly as they approach the doorway.

"No~!" Sam sings without turning around, and grins when he hears someone laugh.

He can't resist glancing back before he rounds the door though, just in time to see Bucky sliding into his abandoned chair next to Tony. Bucky has a look on his face that Sam has never seen before as he says something to Tony, almost flirty, and Sam consoles himself with the fact that at least this time Natasha notices it too.

After he sleeps for about twelve hours, Sam is definitely going to get her thoughts on that. And maybe he'll even hear the end of the juggling story.

#my fic #i dont even know how to tag this lol #background ships #avengers family shennanigans

[damonjuicyscock]

My Hero (Dilf! Liam Gallagher X Reader)

Pairing: Dilf ! Liam Gallagher X Reader

Warnings: angst (Reader is being sexually harassed by a man in the street, fight, mention of blood) Fluff, language (because Liam though)

Words: 1051

Summary: Reader has broken up with her ex a year before it happens. Her ex follows her in the street and stucks her in a park where he sexually harasses her. But reader is lucky to have a certain Liam Gallagher passing by and defending her.

A/N: hello there ! Here is the oneshot I promised. First Dilf Liam for y'all ! For once it hasn’t been requested it’s one of mine. It’s Inspired by a song again, My Hero by the Foo Fighters. As you all know it’s been hard for me lately and it still is and I have a lot of work because of college so I’m trying my best to publish something when I can. I’ll be available during the Christmas holidays because teachers never give us homework during this period in general, so I’ll publish more.

Anyway, enjoy!

It was 6 pm and You were walking home after a day of hard work.

Night had fallen, and you were almost arrived at Your place.

You were crossing the park when suddenly someone grabbed You from behind, with his hand on your mouth.

He stuck you against a tree, using all his strength on you.

You had a few ideas of who it could be, and you weren’t wrong when you saw his face.

Joe, leave me alone! How many times do I have to tell you?!

I’ll never leave you alone you little bitch, you’re mine you hear me? You have been for 5 years now!

Joe, you and I are not together anymore! It’s been a year, get over it and stop harassing me! Stop following me everywhere I’m going, stop sleeping in the stairs of my building and stop waiting for me after work! I don’t want to see you anymore! So now fuck off you fucking psychopath or I’m going to complain to the police!

Go on, go to the police, but they won’t find me. And first before you go, I’m going to do this.

Joe started to touch your intimate parts through your clothes, and you begged him to stop, but he didn’t.

So you started screaming for help, and he put his hand on your mouth, depriving you to make any noise than could disturb him in his actions.

-don’t you dare! He said punching you in the face

You fell on your knees, and he got you up by grabbing your hair. Your nose was bleeding.

You started crying, helpless until you heard another masculine voice.

Oi mate, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?

Piss off, it’s none of your business!

I heard her scream, it’s my business. Are ye okay?

No I’m not please help me! You begged

Joe tried to slap you again. You closed your eyes in the process, scared of this hand that was going to hurt your face again.

But you didn’t feel it, and instead you heard grunts.

You opened your eyes and saw the man beating up your ex-boyfriend.

You saw blood spill out of his nose and mouth, your saviour was going to kill him.

-stop please, you’re going to kill him, leave him here. You begged again

You saw the man had trouble to stop punching your ex-boyfriend.

So you put your hand on his shoulder and stopped his first with your other one.

Please, stop. You said, crying

It immediately stopped him.

Your hero stood up. He was taller than you but not a lot. That’s when you recognized him.

-Where are ye living?

- just at the end of the park.

- so we’re neighbours then. Come on, I’ll walk ye home.

- it’s okay Liam, I can…

- no fucking way. After what happened I’m not letting you walk home alone. Once at yer place we’ll call the police.

He walked you home, and even enter your place with you.

Sit down on yer sofa, I’ll bring ye water and…where do ye put the material to treat yerself?

In my bathroom, third door.

I’ll go.

And Liam…

What?

Thank you.

Don’t thank me it’s normal.

Your first thought wasn’t that you were traumatised. It was a song. Liam was your hero. And you thought « there goes my hero, watch him as he goes »

He came back with a glass of water and some alcohol and compresses, to disinfect wounds.

Okay it might hurt a bit, but I saw you’re a strong lady, so you’re gonna be strong yeah?

Yes Liam, I will, it’s not the first time I’ve been hurt you know?

Yeah, well…

He soaked the compress with alcohol and removed the blood from under your nostrils and disinfected the long wound on your nose.

You didn't even wince as the wound stung you badly.

Can I ask ye a question? He said

Go on.

Who was this guy? You seemed to know him.

Huh… he was my ex.

Your ex?! How …

I broke up with him last year, and he keeps following me everywhere I go, he harasses me, I don’t know how to stop this.

Have you been to the police?

No.

Why?

He has something against me.

What?

I can’t tell you, it’s…

Personal, okay, I understand. And during your relationship, was he always like that? Did he beat ye up?

No, not when we were together. But he had things he could reveal about me. So I always had to do as he told.

For duck’s sake, why did you date a man like that?

He wasn’t like this when I started dating him. He was far different. I don’t know what snapped inside him to become like this.

He didn’t become like this. He already was. You just didn’t know.

He finished curing you and threw the compresses on your living room table.

Thank you Liam. You’re my hero.

Don’t call me that. I just did what I had to do that’s all.

I mean it.

Yeah okay, but I’m not your hero. I’m no one’s hero, right? I’m just doing what was needed.

I …

Liam silenced you by crushing his lips on yours. His tongue met yours in a tender kiss. As if he wanted to comfort you.

When he separated from you, you kept your eyes closed for a second.

What was that for? You asked

I love the sounds that come out from this pretty mouth, right? But not when it’s calling me a hero. I hate this fucking word.

Alright I won’t call you a hero anymore then.

Now, call the cops. They need to know.

But what if Joe talks to them? You’ll be arrested!

Don’t worry sweetheart, it won’t be the first time I get arrested. He said winking at you

Yes, I know that.

Now at least, I would have a reason to see you. I know where you live.

Smartass.

#liam gallagher smut #liam gallagher fanfic #liam gallagher oneshot #liam gallagher fluff #liam gallagher angst #liam gallagher x reader #liam gallagher #dilf liam gallagher #oasis #oasis band #Spotify

[thatshadowgastwhore]

The hours of sleep deprivation, and how your brain/body interprets them with helpful, objective language for other writers and/or Tim Drake enthusiasts

by me, Mags, aka thatshadowgastwhore, a person who regularly stays up for multiple days at a time and is very self aware, but has no relevant medical degrees.

Disclaimer that I don’t have chronic fatigue/or illness, and my experience isn’t universal. Also, the way caffeine affects me, I’ve found, is not the same most other people have described it to me.

Second disclaimer: you should sleep when you are tired. I just so happen to not really feel tied until I’m awake for around forty hours. You should not push yourself to sleep deprivation regularly for funsises. I know what it’s like to be awake 60+ hours because I used to do so as a coping mechanism that I realized later on was actually a form of self harm!

Hours 1-8

Mostly irrelevant for the discussion at hand. Alertness, awareness, focus, and attention are at their normal levels. Energy levels are consistent. Caffeine consumed at this point does not affect my awareness in any way, only ability to hold focus on a task for longer periods of time and attention to detail.

Hours 9-12

Alertness, awareness, focus, and attention are still at normal levels. Energy is likely the same, unless strenuous activity was done in the first third of the day. At this point, I have been awake for half a day, the majority of which was spent at work. I also do not normally consume food until this time of day, or I have not consumed very much food until this point, so the energy gained from a meal resets energy levels to about where they were hours 4-5. Caffeine consumed at this point has no effect on energy levels, again, just to focus and attention.

Hours 12-18

Very similar to hours 9-12 for me, as someone who regularly misses nights of sleep. For any character whom this is not the case for, this is when tiredness will absolutely set in, if it hasn’t already. Depending on how many hours of sleep you get on the regular, that is when lethargy will become unavoidable without proper stimuli. Pushing yourself past this point isn’t a good idea. If the reason for sleep deprivation is not voluntary or the reason isn’t a fun one, emotions are harder to avoid. Like any baby, your character will be cranky and prone to annoyance.

If you’re like me, this is not the case. Yet. At this point, you’ve hit your second wind; with proper stimuli, these are the most enjoyable hours of your entire extended period awake, productivity is at its height, energy levels are still fairly level. Fluctuations are likely occurring in attention; either details consume you, or they do not matter to you. Caffeine at this point will mostly affect ability to focus, but will start affecting alertness as well to some extent. This is also more accurate to the way this time would affect someone who doesn’t regularly stay awake very long, but is voluntarily staying awake for an exciting reason; New Year’s Eve, a party, a fight, etc. Stimuli are likely high and extremely relevant to the primary motivation for sleep deprivation in such a case.

Hours 18-24

For those who don’t stay awake regularly, (and do not have enough stimuli to keep you energetic/excited) you are so. So. Tired. Ability to focus at this point is nonexistent. Things you should not be doing are: making major life decisions or operating heavy machinery. While you likely feel physically fine, if you’re still trying to accomplish things, they take way longer than usual and the quality isn’t as good. Things that are normally easy take actual effort in a way this is beyond frustrating.

If your character is regularly awake this long, the biggest thing they’ll notice at this point is hunger. We’ve crossed an interval of time in which, during the day, you’d eat another meal. Unlike delaying/skipping meals during the day, they really do need to eat at this point, or the hunger will become painful quickly. Attention to details at this point is starting to slip, but is overall okay. Alertness is declining, but not at an alarming rate. The deck e is gradual at the point. It is at this point that caffeine has some impact to my level of alertness, but still mostly affects ability to focus.

Hours 24-40

Unfortunately at this point, I don’t have a great frame of reference for how other people experience these hours awake, so I’ll be continuing just with my perspective of this.

At this point, caffeine does become necessary for me to keep focus on things; without it, during these hours I become incredibly spacey and even more prone to distraction than normal. At this point, lack of sleep has little to no effect on my mood. I am still perfectly capable of driving and my judgement is still sound, although I will concede my bar for emotions is lower than usual. The only physical feeling I would cite at this point is how it affects my appetite. I am hungrier than I would consider usual (for me), UNLESS I consumed caffeine on an empty stomach, in which case my stomach probably hurts, and is making it harder to tell that I am hungry.

Hours 40-44

I can comfortably remain awake without feeling tired for 40 hours. This is the first point that I will start to feel tired. My mood is absolutely affected at this point, things that are mildly annoying become incredibly frustrating and things that are kinda funny are incredibly silly. I also begin to lose my filter, things that are normally inside thoughts/observations become things that I have to tell someone Right Now. My best friend had received enough unhinged rants about ridiculous things, that if it is at a certain time, she might ask, “how long have you been awake” as a relevant follow up question. I desribe this time as “loopy hours,” the point at which I have full awareness why I am doing what I am doing, that I am behaving slightly irrationally, and that the reason is because I haven’t slept. It doesn’t mean the silly thoughts aren’t still there, but I know the origin and scope of them. Because of this, I don’t consider this to be when my sense of judgement as being impacted yet, because I can still be logical about my illogical thoughts. What is affected is my sense of alertness and ability to focus, both of which have declined further.

Hours 44-48

At this point, my energy levels take a sharp decline. Caffeine at this point is assisting my energy and alertness more than my ability to focus. These are some of the worst hours if you are voluntarily staying awake (it’s not actually linear the order of badness, surprisingly) because it comes directly after the loopy hours, and you are facing a bit of a crash after that period. Emotions are high. I can start to feel trapped within my own body. I both detest and long for sleep. I know that if I let myself lay down, I will inevitably pass out, but I can’t because I know I’ll be so dead to the world that I won’t hear my alarm and I’ll miss work (which is why I only allow myself to not sleep for more than 40 hours starting on a Thursday morning, so I can tap out at this point if I need to) I’m hungry again in the middle of the night, and I am very, very tired. But. With enough stimulants (for me, caffeine) and enough stimuli, I can remain awake past this point. This is the hump that needs to be passed. If you can stay awake 48 hours, you can stay awake 60 hours.

The best stimuli for keeping mental awake was and focus are other people and movement. Staying still is a recipe for closing your eyes, and closing your eyes is a recipe for accidentally falling asleep. If you can stay around other people who are awake and aware, and if you are doing anything that requires movement (not slow and repetitive movement, obviously, remember you are a cranky baby, so not rock yourself to sleep) your chances of staying awake are better.

Anything that gives you a sense of adrenaline at any point hereafter is going to make you even more tired than expected as soon as it wears off, so if your character has been doing anything high stakes and is just now calming down, they are going to pass out the MOMENT they feel safe enough to. It’s kinda inevitable, which is why I consider loud, sudden noises to be some of the worst things to try to use to keep yourself awake.

Hours 48-56

The gradual decline from that started eight hours ago becomes steeper during this time. My sense of judgement is not good, I am liable to consider truly ridiculous ideas as entirely serious enterprises. I should not operate a motor vehicle, but with enough caffeine I am able to if absolute need be. I need to be consuming caffeine and be around people and not be staying sedentary for more than an hour at a time. I am lethargic as all get out. I want to sleep so badly. My attention span is shot.

Hour 56-60

At around hour 60, normal auditory hallucinations (for me. I am aware most people don’t have “normal auditory hallucinations”) are annoying loud, and I experience visual hallucinations, at which point I generally refuse to operate any heavy machinery/drive.

I cannot emphasize enough: my sense of judgement is not good when I am this sleep deprived, ESPECIALLY for my own limits and abilities. I have a notable propensity to misjudge how much work I can take on, and make plans doomed to failure from the start when awake this long. I gain the confidence of someone staring at a piece in a museum and saying, “pfft, I could paint that,” but then actually going out; spending to much on art supplies, trying and failing immediately, (obviously) and becoming so overwhelmed in disappointment that they vow to never paint again, and now they’ve wasted money on all these abandoned paint supplies.

This is a time similar to the loopy hours, but less fun. I call them the delusional hours. Physically, your eyes are so tired that you feel constantly dehydrated. You start to space out and lose visual focus quicker. You probably are hearing a ringing sound just from how badly your brain is blue screening.

Hour 60+

Everything experienced in the previous two intervals gets worse. Time slows down. I’m probably quite cold (I generally have poor circulation, so I don’t usually notice being cold at this point, so I find this significant.) My awareness outside of my own body is almost gone, and my ability to focus is nonexistent. I am probably shaking. I feel physically ill, probably nauseous. My chest is tight due to the amount of caffeine I’ve had to consume. I am so beyond exhausted that I could fall asleep standing up. My emotions are out of my control. I will cry over anything. I will laugh hysterically over anything. Time slows down. I’m in control of the time stream, no….Im outside of the time steam (delusions that start mild and become worse over time.)

At this point, your character’s motivation for staying awake this long better be pretty damn good. The longest a human has ever stayed awake for is about eleven days, but as listed above, symptoms of psychosis will set in by about 72 hours, so remaining focused on that goal will start to prove difficult.

And thats it! I haven’t stayed awake longer than 79 hours so that’s where my experience ends, but I’m hoping that my objectivity on what this feels like both mentally and physically helps someone with writing a character who definitely should go to bed soon.

#writing #writing reference #sleep deprivation #tim drake core #Tim Drake

[xosimone]

Physical media is still very important.

In 2021, I deactivated all of my social media. I had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, and I found myself constantly triggered all of the time. I had been off of it for about two years, and when I finally returned, I saw so many updates from my friends, mutual friends, acquaintances, family, etc. that I had NO clue about— they were engaged, in new relationships, married, moved to new cities, graduated, having babies, and were in so many new eras that I had no clue about. They had my number, so they could have told me, and it really sucked that I didn’t get to see those exciting things in their life.

That stuck with me, and I started thinking about my family that was not on social media, namely my grandmother, who’s 91 years old, and how she may not see what is happening in the lives of her kids and grandchildren who do not live near her.

I call her often, and she used to always ask about my boyfriend and my cat and she wanted to see photos. I would send them to my aunt, and I would ask for her to show her, and sometimes she’s forget. That made me so sad that my grandma can be so disconnected from us.

So, I decided to get a camera and start taking as many photos as I could and mail them to her. I show her everything— my plants, maybe a meal I made, my cat, me while being very sleep deprived, etc.

I think she deserves to see what my life looks like, and I have fun showing her! This brings me to the point that physical media is important to have records of what life looks like for you.

Physical media is important to continue to expand the access that others have to you. I think this is relevant especially because we get so used to the prevalence of digital media and social media and we think it is connecting ourselves to the world, and to an extent it really is! But it does isolate those who aren’t on social media whether they prefer not to be on it, whether they do not have social media access due to censorship, whether they do not have social media access because they cannot afford the tools to have it, whether they do not have social media access because they cannot have access to media period (i.e. military duties), whether they do not have access to social media because it is beyond their time.

If we really think about it, we really push older people from access to us and the world in favor of something more technologically advanced, and I think that is unfair too. Accessibility means everyone can and should access it (to me at least).

Anyway, I hope this serves as a reminder or at least inspiration to continue to add physical media to how you share your lives— whether that is through journaling, letters, or even printed imagery that you can mail out.

In the meantime, I’m going to mail these to my grandmother so she can see my pretty plants, my pretty cat, and my pretty life.

#cat #orange cat #plant #plants #gardening #indoor garden #container garden #herb garden #seed starting #seed starters #vegetable garden #photos #physical media #instax #instax camera #memories #scrapbooking #polaroid #letters #mailing #mailing letters

[greyias]

It’s halfway through October and I’m finally in a spot where I have processed everything and am not an absolute wreck anymore. I’ve discussed this in private and over on Twitter, but I know some over here are probably wondering what’s gone down in the past 16+ days.

Fair warning, frank (and sort of graphic) discussions about pet medical issues ahead.

At the very end of September, I had to bring Griffin in for an emergency vet visit because he was... well. Bleeding. Out of an orifice in which you shouldn’t be bleeding. All of this was preceded by two weeks of him having issues with blood in his stool (never a good sign) -- and the ultimate culprit turned out to be a tumor that his body was basically trying to eject forcibly.

He had surgery to successfully remove it, and his recovery was, in a word, painful. Excruciating for him (despite being on several heavy medications), and within a week had me completely sleep deprived and at my wit’s end. Thankfully, after a few days boarding at the vet, he’s fully mended from the surgery. Eating and doing everything a dog should do normally, without pain, and without medication. So in the short term, he’s doing all right.

Long term... there’s not really one. The biopsy came back and he has high grade malignant lymphoma, so my baby boy is on borrowed time. They said that it’s likely to come back within a few weeks to maybe a few months. I keep going through the five stages of grief at various intervals, but I’m trying to make the remaining time I have left with him as happy an experience for him as possible.

You wouldn’t know he’s terminal at this point, as he’s as happy and exuberant and weird and loving as ever. Which in some ways is helping keeping me distracted from getting to sad or angry, because it’s hard to not laugh or smile at his antics.

It’s not fair that he doesn’t get to have a full, long life. We never get enough time with our pets, but this... this feels extremely cruel. This is compounded by the fact that my other, older dog also is probably going to have liver failure at some point here within the next few months. So I’m going to go through this twice in a short time span, and that’s really going to suck when it happens.

To top it off... my dad has cancer. I do not know what stage it’s at, nor how long I have left with him, because my family... they kind of suck at the moment, and aren’t telling me anything directly. I'm trying to be understanding that we're all dealing with things as best we can, but it really sucks to hear crappy news third hand. (You might ask if I’ve tried to ask for details. Yes, and I was told “I’m just trying not to think about it” when asked. Cool.)

The only ones openly communicating with me are my brother and his wife, who are joyfully expecting a second baby, but also are going to be moving across the country to be closer to her family for help with childcare as daycare is slowly bankrupting them (because did I mention my immediate family is kind of going through a sucky period right now? Sort of understandably so but still.)

That’s kind of the long and short of it right now, and one of the reasons I’m super quiet at the moment. (The other reason is this is the busiest season of the year at work for me, so I kind of drop off the radar for a few weeks anyway).

I probably won't talk about this on main too much, because I'm just trying to focus on enjoying what little time I have left with my babies and I don't really want to dwell on what life without them is going to be like. (I'll have plenty of time for that when it comes). So, if it seems like I post a lot of doggo pictures here or on Twitter, or just go full ham on fannish things, I'm just trying to distract myself.

In short: Am I okay? Yeah, as best as I can be at this point. Heartbroken, but trying to cope.

#personal

[alargehunkofdebris]

My Horrifically Indulgent Good Omens 2 Angstageddon Playlist

If you’re anything like me, you’re going through the bizarre Twilight Zone of realizing that all those songs you indulgently listened to with a grain of salt can canonically apply to these two dimwits now. And if you’re anything like me, you drove to work in sleep-deprived hysterics as you listened to these absolutely angst-sodden songs that completely, undeniably, without a doubt, legally apply. Nothing is too much, all fair game, no question, no remorse, no napkin. It’s Angstageddon, babes, and the only reason “Angel With A Shotgun” isn’t here is because it’s too happy and optimistic.

Anyway, my musical taste is mediocre and pop-happy and goes from my current playlists all the way back to my grade 10 Ipod music near the end. Have my ever-growing catalogue of soppy songs for this bastard of a show, most curated pre-Season 2 as an “Angsty Fanfiction Playlist” but can now be promoted to “Entirely Canon-Compliant Playlist”. There’s no Queen just because it’s a given. Here’s the link to the Youtube playlist -- sorry it’s not Spotify. https://youtu.be/pvfzcGbOzqg

“Mr. Blue” – Catherine Feeny  (Yes, I originally heard this at the end of Bojack. Such a lovely, gut-wretching song. Could be from both POVs kinda, but I always imagined it from A’s POV)

“Only The Lonely Survive” – Mariana’s Trench (Be prepared for a lot of Mariana’s Trench – I’m Canadian)

“Dearly Departed” – Mariana’s Trench (Lord. This song. Mariana’s Trench notoriously incorporates elements/lines from previous albums/songs, and this is no exception. A gutwrencher)

“Masterpiece Theatre III” – Mariana’s Trench (their first “showstopper finale” I believe).

“Astoria” – Mariana’s Trench (There’s references to Shakespeare and Romeo and Juliet in “when starcrossed lovers take their lives”, very them. Them as in Shakespeare, not…not the line, at least not the latter half.)

“End of an Era” – Mariana’s Trench (Again, references to Shakespeare. I would highly recommend Mariana’s Trench in general, but with a special place in my heart for the huge showstoppers they always end on, which often incorporate lines of the previous songs in album/past albums, and ALSO use Leitmotifs from PREVIOUS finale songs. They’re great.)

“Killing Kind” – Mariana’s Trench (the most recent album’s showstopping finale. The darkest one. Very credit-scene-GO2-Final-15-core, all misery, very angsty emoish, skip if you’re not into that vibe)

“From Eden” – Hozier (Yeah, yeah, duh. Let’s just assume all Hozier songs, but just in case by some miracle you’ve not heard any Hozier in relation to GO, I’ll add more)

“Take me to Church” – Hozier

“Like Real People Do” – Hozier (Ahaha, a soft and sweet song that absolutely does not fit…yet. But it will.)

“Lost” – Dermont Kennedy (A later-on remorse song for Az. Significant Lyrics: “When everything was broken/The devil hit his second stride/But you remember what I told you/Someday, I'll need your spine to hide behind” “Are we destined to burn or will we last the night?/I will hold you 'til I hold you right.”)

“Glory” – Dermont Kennedy (Can’t quite land on what perspective this is sung from, but I almost see it as a song from C’s perspective to A, with the asides referencing “She” referencing God. The complex relationship he has with her, and A, and everything.)

“King” – Lauren Aquilina (Idk why, but I just see it as a comfort song. You can take or leave, it’s just here from before GO2 as a comfort song for Crowley, who in my mind was suffering due to some overwhelmingly heartbreaking event that left him rock bottom on his own for some extended period, but of course that’d never happen canonically, pfft. Just a fanfiction song, nothing more).

“Hits Different” – Taylor Swift (Yep, she’s defo got a place on this list. She’s got SO many applicable songs, but I’ll just put a blanket order on her music and give you a few. This is currently a fav of mine and the first song I heard post-watch, and thus the one I had my big “Everything Applies Now Legally” epiphany during my listen. A poppier, slightly happier vibe that we desperately need at this point.)

“Samson” -- Regina Spektor (Jesus. I’ll likely make a video about it when I have the time.)

“Heart’s On Fire” – Passenger (A sweet song that will tear your goshdarn heart out. There’s hope in this song. “I don’t know where and I don’t know when/But I know we’ll be lovers again.”)

“Mess Is Mine” – Vance Joy (Again, hope. A forgiveness song.)

“Something In The Orange” – Zach Bryan (A bit countryish, so dif kinda vibe, but still love it. Very angst, sitting with a glass of whiskey kinda song.)

"I Will Follow You Into The Dark” – Death Cab For Cutie (Yeah, a no brainer, doi. Also I’m p sure this was on one of the Prime playlists.)

“Scared” – Tragically Hip (Ok this is very much not lyrically sound in terms of them, but it’s one of my fav Hip songs and the vibes are sweet.)  

“All These Things That I’ve Done” – The Killers (Okay this is just me being goofy now, I’m going through my teenage Ipod music. Why not. Let’s end on an upbeatish note! Let’s all raise a glass to this song whose lyrics I’d write on my calculator lid in grade 10 math.)

“Long Road To Ruin” – Foo Fighters (Okay ONE more song from my old Ipod.)

#good omens 2 spoilers #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #go2 spoilers #gos2 spoilers

[compassionatereminders]

Hi Kat, I’m feeling really bad right now and so I’m writing here to vent. I hope I don’t annoy you on your travel.

The thing is that I have anger issues. Mostly I can keep it contained, but a few days ago I was stressed and sleep deprived and surrounded by a lot of people pushing me around. So I snapped at my sister and kicked her bag to move faster so we could get in to the side so all the pushy people could get past me. And my sister got really upset. I can go for such a long period of time where I don’t let out anger, so much so that I almost forget it’s a problem, and then things like this happen and I’m reminded how much of a problem this is for me. And I hate myself. I don’t know what to do about it. My anger shows up when people are inconsiderate or do mean things, and I want to teach them a lesson, to make them feel and understand how their actions makes other feel. But that’s just like revenge and that’s not good or helpful. And even if I did that, people don’t understand. And I’m the end I just feel so powerless and small and I can’t even use words because no one would listen anyway so instead I get a crushing urge to kick and hit and cry, and get into a fight, like a child. But I can’t do that. And I know that my anger issues are not gonna disappear as long as I’m repressing my anger, but every time I let out even just a tiny bit of annoyance or frustration, I get overwhelmed by anger and it’s scary and over dramatic and impossible to escape, so I just end up feeling angry at myself and powerless and in the end apathy towards what happens to me. I just can’t find the healthy balance, where I’m letting out anger in a non violent way and not bottling it up either. And it makes me feel like I should just hide myself away from everyone, because I’m unlovable.

An this gets me to the present: I feel unlovable. And from all these years struggling with mental health, I have learned that this is a bad place to go down in to. So I try to tell myself that it’s not true. That I am lovable and loved. But even just writing that made me feel disgusted. I can’t see how I’m lovable. Because I can’t even see what would make me different and special from other people, why my friends and family wouldn’t rather love someone else and replace me. All I see in myself is just a facade of a person with no personal will, just a people pleaser who copies the wants and opinions of others. And when that facade cracks, I’m an angry selfish monster. I have lost my identity from repressing my anger and my needs and boundaries, I know that. I know that it’s not healthy. But my anger and my needs and boundaries feels so so wrong and unlovable. I don’t know what to do. And I’m heartbroken that it means I can never find love.

It sounds like the issue is that you're trying to hide and repress your anger instead of using it and letting it out in a constructive manner BEFORE you explode. And that's no way to live. So it's not that you're inherently bad or wrong or unlovable, it's that you're not expressing your needs, feelings and boundaries until you literally can't repress them anymore. And that's likely something you need to work through with a therapist if at all possible. Because there's no shame in getting angry. We all get angry. It's actually healthy and necessary to get angry sometimes! You just need to figure out how to express your anger constructively before lashing out - and that's something you can learn

#chat with kat #negativity tw #self hatred tw