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edenmemes · 2 years

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god of war: ragnarok starters

may contain spoilers !

❝ trust? you have broken my trust. ❞ ❝ you seemed troubled in your sleep, even for you. nightmares? ❞ ❝ if you’re not fighting dirty, you’re not fighting, right? ❞ ❝ the worst is still ahead of us. we must be strong. ❞ ❝ it’s times like this i really miss home. ❞ ❝ you must live with your deeds, but do not be troubled by them. ❞ ❝ you don’t strike me as someone who fears death. ❞ ❝ that is not who i am anymore. ❞ ❝ the problem doesn’t have to reach our doorstop to be our responsibility. ❞ ❝ please don’t make me do this. ❞ ❝ the storm is getting worse. ❞ ❝ i’d offer you a hug, but why traumatise either of us further. ❞ ❝ whatever anger you’re feeling, whatever loathing toward me...it’s nothing to what i’ve said to myself. ❞ ❝ i know the hate that burns you from within. i’ve felt those flames...known the comfort of their warmth. ❞ ❝ i do not need you to protect me. ❞ ❝ be glad you have a home to remember fondly. ❞ ❝ you’ve come a long way since i first met you. ❞ ❝ the pain only grows. will i ever be free of it? ❞ ❝ i need you...i can’t do this by myself. ❞ ❝ got a case of pride, i get it. hope yours clears up quicker than mine did. ❞ ❝ you were given an impossible problem. do not blame yourself for failing to solve it. ❞ ❝ you speak of your deeds with shame. ❞ ❝ i wronged you. and i cannot change that...and can never apologise enough for it. ❞ ❝ we do not know what lies ahead. i wish to enjoy the time we have left. ❞ ❝ there is no need to shoulder this burden on your own. ❞ ❝ i suppose that’s all any of us can hope for in the end. that our death has purpose. ❞ ❝ i don’t need to hear about your mistakes. i’ve made enough of my own, thanks. ❞ ❝ some free advice? you don’t want to let anyone catch you talking to your sword. ❞ ❝ you reek of cheap mead and that is by far your most endearing characteristic. ❞ ❝ i expected you to come and find me. that no matter how hurt or angry, you wouldn’t abandon me when i needed you the most. ❞ ❝ you started this fight --- i will end it. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to do this kinda stuff just to keep my mind off things. ❞ ❝ could i ever think of this place as home again? after all that’s happened? ❞ ❝ all too often, people are blinded to all but their immediate self-interest. ❞ ❝ not exactly a calming presence, are you? ❞ ❝ know that all reigns end, and all empires fall. ❞ ❝ do not doubt the lengths i will go to. ❞ ❝ so much has been taken from me and i’m supposed to let it all go? ❞ ❝ if you don’t think i could lead us, just say so. ❞ ❝ i’m not saying anything you haven’t thought. ❞ ❝ there’s no making this right, is there? ❞ ❝ love should be---could be---stronger than hatred. ❞ ❝ it seems to me we share a common enemy. ❞ ❝ i know how bad it can get with one’s own kin. ❞ ❝ seems the only thing i can do right these days is destroy everything around me. ❞ ❝ i am haunted by your incompetence. it keeps me up at night. ❞ ❝ so i’m not allowed to give you a nickname? ❞ ❝ oooh, getting nosey. getting personal. ❞ ❝ that’s the most dangerous and irresponsible thing i’ve ever heard. ❞ ❝ i haven’t given up hope on you. ❞ ❝ i had hoped my days of ceaseless battles were over. ❞ ❝ to grieve deeply is to love fully. ❞ ❝ the truth is always more complicated. to imagine it’s simple is dangerous. ❞ ❝ you're a killer, just like your father. ❞ ❝ you think you just get to walk away? ❞ ❝ uh...someone’ll clean that up. ❞ ❝ i dont know if we’re breaking fate, or fate’s breaking us. ❞ ❝ how can you, of anyone alive, be squeamish about war? ❞ ❝ oh, wow...that’s quite the compliment. ❞ ❝ i grow tired of your lack of empathy. ❞ ❝ to abandon a poisonous path and walk another is no small challenge. ❞ ❝ can i get you a water or something? ❞ ❝ confronting the past comes with a price. ❞ ❝ i want things to be the way they were. ❞ ❝ being in love’s always a risk. that’s what makes it fun. ❞ ❝ i was always fond of our talks, you know. ❞ ❝ curiosity’s all well and good...but so’s privacy, yes? ❞ ❝ whatever you ask, consider it done. i am forever in your debt. ❞ ❝ what’s the biggest thing you’ve ever fought? ❞ ❝ so...was this all that you hoped for? ❞ ❝ the closer we get, the more tightness grows in my chest. ❞ ❝ your path leads to countless deaths. unimaginable pain and suffering. ❞ ❝ can’t you take a joke, you old goat? ❞ ❝ everyone takes it easy on you because they’re scared of your father. ❞ ❝ that’s family. you got to keep them close where they can make you good and crazy. ❞ ❝ maybe, for the moment, you’re of more use to me alive. ❞ ❝ look at the ruins before you and understand the truth: this was your doing. ❞ ❝ forgive me. my words were chosen carelessly. ❞ ❝ my success does not come from luck. ❞ ❝ just shut up and drink. ❞ ❝ no matter the size, every creature has a weakness. ❞ ❝ sometimes we never really know the ones we love. ❞ ❝ tell me about your homeland. ❞ ❝ leadership? not really my strong suit, let’s be honest. ❞ ❝ what am i gonna do, walk around with a bandage on my head, begging for attention? ❞ ❝ why are you so bent on hurting me like this? i’ve done nothing to you. ❞ ❝ you seem like a calm and reasonable person. are you a calm and reasonable person? ❞ ❝ i’ve seen my fair share of bloodshed, but this is an awful lot for one morning. ❞ ❝ if you’re planning on killing me, at least let me finish this song. ❞ ❝ everywhere i look, i am reminded of my mistakes. ❞ ❝ i have seen many lands. many realms. i can tell you with some certainty: no such paradise exists. ❞ ❝ do something about it or shut up already. ❞ ❝ breaking tension with humour is the sacred duty of a travelling companion. ❞ ❝ forgiveness can be powerful. even for the unworthy. ❞ ❝ you have no idea the kind of shit i’ve been through. ❞ ❝ our actions have consequences. to be reminded of them is not a punishment. ❞ ❝ take the hint. go away. ❞ ❝ something is on your mind. what is it? ❞ ❝ what a twisted little soul you have. ❞ ❝ your eyes say everything. ❞ ❝ me and you against the world, huh? just like the old days. ❞ ❝ there is no making things right. only better than they were. ❞ ❝ without me? i thought we were partners. ❞ ❝ this will end in blood. the only question that remains is which side is willing to spill more. ❞ ❝ i have lost myself before. more than once. ❞ ❝ you cannot sneak up on me like that. ❞ ❝ is it always moral to kill something that’s trying to kill you? ❞ ❝ we’ve gotta be more than a bunch of stories with our endings already written. ❞ ❝ the smell is making my eyes burn. ❞ ❝ you are staring... ❞ ❝ even the brightest among us carry darkness. ❞ ❝ anyone ever tell you that you babble when you’re terrified? ❞ ❝ every path i walk...leads back to vengeance. ❞ ❝ maybe our families are just meant to be enemies. ❞ ❝ i know how it feels...to lose a parent. ❞ ❝ your love of this place...i can feel it. anyone can. ❞ ❝ what you can do is get the fuck out of my sight. ❞ ❝ it was stupid of me to hope in the first place. ❞ ❝ is that regret in your voice? ❞ ❝ there are things even gods cannot control. ❞ ❝ you don’t care about anyone beyond yourself. ❞ ❝ say something. i enjoy hearing your voice. ❞ ❝ does it frighten you? that is why you must do it. ❞ ❝ the dumb doesn’t fall far from the tree. ❞ ❝ you’re quite agitated, even for you. ❞ ❝ ain’t you never seen a legend in the flesh before? ❞ ❝ you are one of the few i would call a ‘friend’. ❞ ❝ this place is kinda pretty, when things aren’t trying to kill us. ❞ ❝ i find the hues and shades of your shortcomings almost moving. ❞ ❝ i still might kill you when this is over. ❞ ❝ i wish i could do more, i really do. ❞ ❝ do you ever have those moments where you wish you could...go back? rewrite your own past, make different decisions. ❞ ❝ do you want me to stop talking about your muscles? ❞ ❝ you are a formidable warrior, but even more than that, you have a good heart. ❞ ❝ this world takes more strength than it gave me. ❞ ❝ i’m trying to save your life, you big jerk. ❞ ❝ at least something out here doesn’t wanna kill me. ❞ ❝ i’ll just say it. i’m getting a really terrible feeling from this place. ❞ ❝ violence changes us. you are not weak to feel its effects. ❞ ❝ i’ve always loved you, you know. ❞ ❝ what side are you on anyway? ❞ ❝ everything was fine until you showed up. ❞ ❝ i have been...falling back into my old ways. angry. distrustful. ❞ ❝ one day, you will have to survive. without me. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to like me but...we’re gonna have to trust each other. ❞ ❝ you think war drives me? or power? wealth? no. never has. ❞ ❝ and they say i’m the bad guy. ❞ ❝ you feel it in the air, don’t you? the anxiety. ❞ ❝ i’m not being weird, you’re being weird. ❞ ❝ sure you’re up for breaking the rules like this? ❞ ❝ doubt is a weakness we cannot afford. ❞ ❝ mm. i do not like riddles. ❞ ❝ it just seems like a lot for someone your age. ❞ ❝ use the judgement of a man and not of a child. ❞ ❝ so what are we supposed to do? roll over? do nothing? ❞ ❝ war will not give you the purpose you seek. ❞ ❝ nasty hit! are you alright? ❞ ❝ well, glad you survived the first day. ❞ ❝ what do you think? is there a right side in this war? ❞ ❝ didn’t you ever have an awkward phase in your youth? ❞ ❝ you will not find me good company. ❞ ❝ how about we just don’t kill each other? ❞ ❝ what have your promises ever been worth? ❞ ❝ why would you come this way alone? ❞ ❝ leave now, whether you value your life or peace in your death. ❞ ❝ i put you in so much pain. put you in a terrible situation. ❞ ❝ the most difficult battles are fought within. ❞ ❝ it’s not my job to teach you everything. ❞ ❝ thanks for patching me up. ❞ ❝ loss can do things to a man. ❞ ❝ i don’t know why i thought i could do this alone. ❞ ❝ i will do what it takes to keep you safe. ❞ ❝ a desperate creature can be the most dangerous. ❞ ❝ you’re just sharing your thoughts on a subject you know nothing about. ❞ ❝ this isn’t who you want to be. ❞ ❝ i knew this was going too smoothly. ❞ ❝ can one man do this much damage? ❞ ❝ this is your final warning. ❞ ❝ you have a lot of nerve, know that? ❞ ❝ i am counting on you. to be safe. to be smart. ❞ ❝ uh, maybe that’s not a good idea? ❞ ❝ well, that was violent. ❞ ❝ don’t go to too much trouble on my account. ❞ ❝ are you not a soldier? are you not a leader of people? ❞ ❝ just when i thought you couldn’t get even more godly. ❞ ❝ do you wish to speak of what happened? ❞ ❝ you have no hold on me any more. ❞ ❝ have you ever been in love? ❞ ❝ mind if i give you the best advice you’ve heard all day and possibly ever? sleep. ❞ ❝ you’ll have my wise and faithful counsel always. ❞ ❝ look, i just want to do the right thing. ❞ ❝ all i ask for is a good night’s rest. ❞ ❝ you’re angry with me, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ we live in strange times. ❞ ❝ do you hear that? i thought i heard a voice. ❞ ❝ any outsider is considered a threat. ❞ ❝ it is not always wrong to trust people. ❞ ❝ never thought i’d be so relieved to be back here. ❞ ❝ well, we all make mistakes. ❞ ❝ this is the craziest thing i’ve ever done. ❞ ❝ when we get out of here, i’ll give you some space. ❞ ❝ violence cannot prevent violence. ❞ ❝ the truth can be a cruel thing. ❞ ❝ defy your prophecy at your own peril. ❞ ❝ i must say, i think we make a good team. ❞ ❝ where would you even be without me? ❞ ❝ calm your mind. control it. ❞ ❝ you look...weirder than i imagined. ❞ ❝ we must tread carefully. danger is close. ❞ ❝ there are worse things to discover about someone you love. ❞ ❝ i know how it feels to be wronged. ❞ ❝ did you just wake up with the urge to be a pain in my ass? ❞ ❝ is it revenge if justice is served? ❞ ❝ sometimes there is no other way. ❞ ❝ all journeys come to an end. ❞ ❝ you’re the first person that i’ve talked to in a really long time. ❞ ❝ i’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment. ❞ ❝ so...do you forgive me? ❞ ❝ sorry, i’m just really excited to talk to you. ❞ ❝ is there any way to stop fate? ❞ ❝ it would be the first time in a while i have something truly mine. ❞ ❝ the earth is the reflection of those who tend it. ❞ ❝ i have to say. i am profoundly unimpressed. ❞ ❝ i did not come to you for a lecture. ❞ ❝ perhaps there is a measure of monster inside us all. ❞ ❝ i was about to look for you. ❞ ❝ i said we would speak no more of that. ❞ ❝ peace cannot endure without force to protect it. ❞ ❝ what is it you will not tell me? ❞ ❝ where has everyone gone, i wonder? ❞ ❝ i suppose we’re all entitled to walk our own paths. regardless of where they end. ❞ ❝ you are in way over your head. ❞ ❝ so much about that day i wish i could change. ❞ ❝ it is difficult to seek forgiveness when you feel unworthy. ❞ ❝ i don’t recall asking you to come along. ❞ ❝ don’t you know who i am? ❞ ❝ real power does not need to flaunt. it emerges when the time is right. ❞ ❝ i don’t move, you don’t move. don’t do anything you’ll regret. ❞ ❝ sorry we got off on the wrong foot there. ❞ ❝ i meant it when i said you’re not a prisoner here. ❞ ❝ the culmination of love is grief, and still we open our hearts to the inevitable. ❞ ❝ why aren’t we working together? ❞ ❝ maybe together we can take back what’s ours. ❞ ❝ you don’t hear me spreading your business all around town, do you? ❞ ❝ you judge me? you? ❞ ❝ you think i’m being stupid. ❞ ❝ go before i change my mind. ❞ ❝ you deserve nothing but pain. ❞ ❝ always expect the unexpected. ❞ ❝ don’t go telling anyone about that. ❞ ❝ i shouldn’t have listened to you. ❞ ❝ you think my anger is irrational? ❞ ❝ prophecies are slippery by nature. ❞ ❝ seek no quarrel with me, and i’ll have no quarrel with you. ❞ ❝ you’re a destroyer, like me. ❞ ❝ you think i’m trouble? you just met me. ❞ ❝ not sure that makes me feel any better... ❞ ❝ let me see the monster inside. ❞ ❝ i know what you’re doing. trying to play on my sympathies in the hope i let you live. ❞ ❝ i do not want you to feel alone. ❞ ❝ the mistakes of the past need not be repeated. ❞ ❝ never mind...i shouldn’t have asked. ❞ ❝ i regret many things. killing you will not be one of them. ❞ ❝ do you believe in fate? ❞ ❝ you can’t kill what you can’t catch. ❞ ❝ i just could use some fresh air, is all. ❞ ❝ i told you never to come back here. ❞

#roleplay meme #roleplay starters #rp meme #rp starters #long post for ts #gow spoilers #god of war spoilers

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firefirefruit · 6 months

Text

Steel in Her Veins, Chapter: One

Table of Contents | Next Chapter

Characters: Fem!Reader x Roronoa Zoro

Chapter One: What Happens When a Swordsman Meets a Swordsmith?

GIF by gildedmuse

Behind the Wall

Zoro notes that the trek up into the forest with Gramps is oddly silent, as his boots clumsily crush against the leafy meadow. Between the two, no words of small talk are being shared or expressed – which is surprising and also a breath of fresh air to Zoro, since it seems he can’t get away from people who love to yap.

He was also secretly thankful that he was being guided to the swordsmith rather than having to put his listening comprehension skills to the test, with how – and he wholeheartedly believes this - villagers always give him the most confusing roundabout directions (really, it’s just them telling him to turn left).

So, as he lags behind the dagger-swinging Gramps, he realises that this has been the first time in months that he’s felt at peace without having to sleep for it.

After what seems like an hour of silent ambling, Gramps looks behind himself at the samurai and childishly beams.

“We’re almost there, celery-boy.”

“Gotcha, dusty puffball,” Zoro retorts.

“I must warn you… you should be prepared for the swordsmith. She does not like to sugar-coat things.”

Zoro remains silent; at first, he mulls over his words before deciding to shrug it off. It’s not like any of the swordsmiths he’s met are legendary, so really, why would her opinion matter?

As they near a mountainous cliffy terrain, Gramps stands ahead of a narrow gap between two rumbling boulders. His hands deftly stroke across a specific gap with obnoxious hand movements, which Zoro thinks he’s undoubtedly making up on the spot. Still, as the old man moves away from the caress, the rocks begin to shuffle and grumble lowly. The boulders twist and turn, jagged and crumbling, into forming an irregular cave-like hole.

When the cave stops echoing its aroused yawn against its walls, the merchant turns around to stick his tongue at Zoro.

“You thought I was an insane old senile for a second, didn’t you?”

Slowly, Zoro’s ears turn red.

“You did, didn’t you? You followed me here because you felt bad for me, didn’t you?”

“Leave it alone,” Zoro sighs, feeling the heat continue to rush over the rest of his face.

He quickly shuffles through the entrance before he can give the geezer another chance to holler at his idiocy. It didn’t stop the dusty puffball, though – as they both continue their journey within the dimly lit cave, Zoro can hear the old cackles that echoed off the jagged walls.

“Wait until you meet her, you’ll be lit up in flames!” He giggles deviously, pleased with his successful torment with the bull-head.

“I don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks,” Zoro mutters, remaining tight-lipped for the rest of the journey.

Over the Wall

“Go find a transponder snail right bloody now - I’m not dealing with him,” you hiss at your Gramps, who stares at you almost as dumbly as the green sword wielder standing beside him.

“What are you talking about?” Gramps Suki splutters, acting oblivious as he’s always been with you. “Give him a chance, he’s a good kid!”

“No,” you hiss, ignoring the green-head standing stoically in front of your anvil, putting your palm up at Gramps. “Call the Navy Protection Services right now, he’s a disgrace to his swords.”

“Do you want a fight with me, woman?!” The idiot swordsman yells, clawing clumsily for the weapons at his hip.

Unprovoked, you hit him with a deadpan look to the side. God, how many careless swordsmen have you dealt with who all act the bloody same?

“That’s brave, asking to fight the one person who knows how to make and break a blade.”

In an instant, green-head starts shouting out a string of insults like a moron.

Although small and frail in appearance, you know Gramps Suki is more than what he chooses to show to people. In a swift manoeuvre, his knobbly hands grip the guy by the collar, making the samurai look like a wretched cat dragged by its neck.

“Get your hands off me, dumbass!” The swordsman chokes, squirming and struggling against the strength of your Gramps. Ignoring him entirely, Gramps stares at you with bewilderment and slight humour.

“What?” You ask him, casually heading to the back of the room to wash your hands.

“We aren’t pro-Navy, Raya, or have you hit your head on the anvil again?”

“You’ve hit your head on the anvil before?” A gruff voice snickers in Gramps’ vice grip, making you grit your teeth hard.

“Someone needs to call child protection services on those poor swords,” you loudly announce, shutting the green-head up from his evil grin.

You turn around to rest against the sink, drying your hands with a blackened rag.

“I can quite literally feel how broken they are in their sheaths, and I’m stood all the way here. Don’t you respect your blades, Mr. Samurai, or do you like to use them as big tooth-picks instead?”

And the dude, still squirming a few centimetres in the air, absolutely loses it. You can’t help but crack a laugh over how furious he’s getting as he begins to continue with his insults. You swear you hear him call you an anvil-indented-head in his string of lovely compliments.

Even Gramps can’t help but guffaw at the entire interaction between you two, completely folding over in on himself. Although still holding onto the green-head’s shirt in an abnormally strong grasp, he heartily laughs on, as if he’s holding a cloth in the air.

Tsk. Maybe Gramps really is going senile - you think, while you dust off your blackened hammer. Out of any person in the world, you didn’t know why Sukiyaki decided to bring in this idea of a swordsman as a potential client.

You and Gramps have only worked for the best and scarcely have any, if at all, clients – simply because, for you and Gramps, swordsmithing is incredibly dangerous and quite literally life-threatening. Your whole cover can be blown up in an instant if the wrong person fucks around and finds out who you both are.

As underground swordsmiths, you intentionally work away from the hubbub of the central market to gain only the attention of the right clients. To you, this cabbage patch of a man shows absolutely no promise, evidence, or indication of worthiness to bear your craftsmanship by his side.

This dude comes in with a crumbling sword, the sword who’s barely holding herself together in the shambled state she’s in, as well as bearing two other wobbly blades on his hip. The first time you sensed their three auras, as he and Gramps made their way towards you, your whole stomach dropped.

Of course, you see broken swords all the time; in your profession, it’s called for – but the way that the green-head’s metals were humming – no, moaning - made you want to writhe in your own skin. You’ve never heard this level of sadness before. It completely pained you to know what the blades were thinking.

How unfeeling he is to the forces who defend his life, time and time again. Frankly, it’s insulting.

“Who do you think you are, anvil-head? You’re just the village’s swordsmith - a nobody,” the guy spits out, wholly absorbed in his anger. He finally manages to push himself away from Gramps’ hands and land on his feet.

“Oh, God.. not again,” Gramps mutters, shaking his head in mild displeasure. He knows what’s about to happen.

Your hands pause in the middle of buffing your hammer.

A nobody, huh?

Your fingertips grow warm. You gaze up at the man – the first time you’ve actually acknowledged him with a look - who’s now stomping towards you, his hands balled in fists.

As you shake your head, you feel tendrils of smoke and heat frame around your face. What a bull-head.

“Fix my swords, woman,” he demands through gritted teeth, standing between you and your workbench.

You sigh, unimpressed, staring straight into his eye.

“It can’t be done.”

“Are you telling me you’re so unskilled that you can’t mend my swords?”

A smile unfurls across your lips, fire emanating from your fingertips and across the stray curls of your hair.

You shake your head.

“No, I’m telling you that I'm melting them. Look down.”

Gramps Suki and Bull-Head slowly tilt their vision to the floor, plainly staring at the liquid metal dripping out of all three of his sheaths.

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pascalfilms · 4 months

Text

WARMTH | Derek Danforth

You wanted to be closer with your boyfriend, Derek during the night

WARNING: smut plot, mentioning of death, oral sex, cock warming

words: 1k+

masterlist 💌

“Fuccckk.” Derek cursed under his breath, biting his lip as he was fucking you from behind.

You didn’t know how you got here. First, you guys were fighting because you had found out that one of his companies had stolen a poor old woman’s money and killed herself. Next, you guys were fucking in his room.

“Derek—umm. I’m going to cum.” You moan underneath her speech. You were at the urge to release all of your cum on his cock.

“Cum for me baby.” Derek replies to you when you hear him say that. You released on his cock.

You felt his cum squirted into your wet hole and you moaned out loud. Feeling each his liquid going into you. You flipped your head on the pillow finally done with having sex with your partner.

Derek’s cock softens and took it out of your warmth making a pout. You were upset that you couldn’t feel his warmth anymore, you wanted him still inside of you. He saw your face and chuckled at your action as he pulled up his boxer.

Derek went to the bathroom to grab a wet towel and bring it back to you. He helps sit up from the lying position. You were sore from your legs to your neck but you did not care. You loved it when he went ruff on you, it was the best thing. He wipes up all of your and his cum off your legs.

“Do you want a hot bubble bath?” Derek asked his girlfriend. You looked at him and nodded at your boyfriend.

“I would love that.”

Derek smiles. He hardly smiled for anyone but you weren’t anyone, you were the love of his life. He got up from the bed and went back to the bathroom to get your bath ready. You were waiting for him for a while.

You didn’t even realize that he was out of the bathroom. He walks over to you and picks you up by the legs gently. You wrapped your arm around his neck and carried you to the bathroom. You saw the bathtub filled with bubbles.

Your favorite aftercare is when Derek sets up a bubble bath. It was the best aftercare.

Derek puts you inside the hot bath hub. You hissed with relief from the pain of your sore body. Your boyfriend takes off his boxer and gets in the tub with you. You went over to him and sat on his naked lap not in a sexual way.

But that didn’t stop him from getting his cock hard. He wraps his arm around your sister and kisses you on the cheek. You lay your head on his chest and your head playing with his little chest hair.

“You know sex doesn’t solve our problem.” You muttered not making any eye contact. Derek groans at his girlfriend.

“Y/n, I did not know this old lady would fucking harm herself. Can we not talk about this please?” Derek stated to you rubbing his hand on his forehead.

You sighed and stayed quiet for the rest of the bathing time. After a while, you and him got out of the water. As you were drying yourself up, Derek went back to the room to change clothes for him and you.

You put on Derek’s plain oversized shirt with no pants or underwear. Derek loved it when you had no underwear on. You didn’t really care if he looked or not, it made you feel comfortable.

You and he walked out of the bathroom together and went to the back bed. You saw that sheets were changed, every time you guys had sex. Two maids came in and changed it while you and Derek were had the bathtub.

“I’m so fucking tired.” Derek flops on the bed with new sheets. You went ahead and flopped right next to him.

You guys get under the covers. Derek grabs the control on the side of his counter and presses the light button to dim the lights. You had Derek install that because you hated sleeping in the darkness.

“D, I want to sleep with you.” You told your boyfriend. He lifts up his head and stares at you with confusion.

“We are going to sleep together.” Derek said to you. You go closer to him and grab his face.

“I want you inside me while we sleep.” You elaborate with Derek. He was too stunned by what you said.

“You want me to dick you inside of me while we sleep?” Derek had to make sure he heard right. You shyly nodded at your boyfriend.

Derek was surprised at you by your actions, most of the time it was him who was horny but the table had turned and it was you.

“Of course you can.” Derek smirked at you and your cheeks flushed red.

Derek pulled down his boxers and threw them out to the side of the bed. He pulls the cover off them each, you see that his erection is already. He laid his back down to get in the right. You were excited getting to feel his warmth again.

You jumped excitingly and Derek saw you thrilled making him smile. You went over his body down to his cock and you felt his tip hovering above your wet cunt. Your boyfriend was waiting for you to take his cock inside of you.

You pushed your butt above Derek’s member making him jolt his hip. You moan out loud as you felt the tip of cock going inside. Derek guided your hip down to his V-line.

“It’s hasn’t been an hour since we have sex, you’re fucking tight.” Derek groaned and felt him stretching your cunt.

You moan out loudly and finally get to feel his warmth inside of you. You felt his cock twitch inside of you. You loved feeling his whole cock inside of you, you can even feel him in your stomach. He loved being inside of you.

You lay down on your boyfriend’s stomach and Derek needs to talk a minute to get used to being inside of her. Then after a little bit, he gets the covers and throws the blanket on top of you and him. Derek made sure you were comfortable on top of him.

“I love you, Derek.” You mumbled to him as you closed your eyes.

“I love you too, y/n.” You felt Derek kissed your forehead.

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misscammiedawn · 5 months

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Dissociative Identity Disorder in Mr. Robot

So I have been writing little essays about Mr. Robot recently.

Dom's Sexuality, Gay Marriage and Whiterose

Back to the Future and Brainwashing

Today I wish to talk about the DID representation in Mr. Robot.

Actually I want to talk about the DID representation in the Hulk comics but there are 40 years worth of storylines involving it and it would require me to write about clinical understandings from the 1980s when it was called MPD (admitedly Mr. Robot's stumbles at the finish line with some of these same outdated treatment models) and that would take a while. Suffice to say it will happen eventually*. I shall make a new tag "Media Myself and I" and post it under that when I have more time to do it justice. Maybe I'll do others. I am uncertain. I believe I want to focus on positive depictions where there are no murder alters. The goal is to get people to want to enjoy things, not to steer them away. I have a few shows and games in mind at the very least.

Regardless… Mr. Robot is an easier topic to cover and is my hyperfocus of the moment.

So Mr. Robot is a show about isolation in the modern world. It's a show about socioeconomic stress, late-stage capitalism and what it means to enact meaningful change on a broken world.

But above all it is about the healing journey of Elliot Alderson, a man with dissociative identity disorder.

I say that at the start because Elliot's condition is never named until the final episode. In many ways a realistic depiction of a real world disorder was an afterthought noted in the final hour of the journey as a means of justifying the split personality trope and hiding a final twist. In spite of that the roadmap for the show was always leading to this destination and along the way they managed to get some fairly good representation out of the mix.

Season 2 even involves the only time I have ever seen a piece of fiction depict "blending" on screen. Blending isn't a symptom listed in either DSM or ICD manuals. It is, however, something one would hear about if they had a conversation with someone who had DID. I have used that scene to depict what it feels like to my partners.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

I love Mr. Robot. It is currently my favorite show of all time. If you have never seen it then please give it a shot. This post will be spoiler heavy and I'd hate to rob anyone the opportunity to watch S4E7 and have a pure emotional reaction to it. The show is on Amazon Prime and the full box set is available for $35-50 depending on format and vendor.

Go with my blessing.

The first season of the show begins with Elliot Alderson (Rami Malek) living a double life. By day a cyber security expert and by night he spends his time at his computer hacking people's accounts and satisfying a "little itch in the back of his head" that guides him to uncover the murky facts about people. The first scene of the show has him take down a cafe owner who hosts an illegal and deeply unpleasant website. I have seen individuals walk away from the first episode thinking that the show is "Dexter but with computers" but it is more lulsec activism with a Fight Club aesthetic.

The show has 4 seasons and each season depicts a different stage of Elliot's healing journey and with it completely different rules and depictions of his condition. I'll break down each season for what they do right and what they do wrong.

Season 1: Discovery

Elliot's system in season one is undiscovered but he has overt symptoms, meaning he is unaware that he has any alters but he suffers from clean breaks in his consciousness and drastically altered behavior patterns both which are a detriment to the "hidden" nature of the condition.

Commonly most people do not discover their condition until their 30s. I was 37/38 when our therapist started guiding us towards accepting our condition.

DID manifests in childhood but it's a hidden illness that does its best to go undetected. The point of the condition is to remain hidden. The internet and the educational resources it offers are helping younger individuals to recognize their symptoms and advocate for themselves at an earlier age but the standard medical understanding is that most people are developed adults before they are diagnosed.

Published statistics for DID indicate the global population of those with the condition is about 1.5% (some organizations argue the number should be higher due to how difficult it is to receive an accurate diagnosis, but 1.5% is the most consistent figure) which is rare but not to the point of never encountering it. For comparison, according to a 2023 census 1.0% of people in the USA identify as transgender. There are no tested classifications for Covert vs Overt display of symptoms but it is widely agreed that an overwhelming majority of cases within the 1.5% are covert.

We learn that Elliot is desperately lonely, abuses morphine and has paranoid delusions about men in black stalking his every move. Whenever Elliot is on screen we can never be sure what is real and what isn't, so there are times when men wearing black suits are on screen and we cannot be sure if Elliot is paranoid or delusional.

The show takes place through his perspective after all and we are a character in the show.

See… the narrative device of the show involves Elliot speaking to "friend", us. The audience. "Hello, friend." is a common refrain spoken throughout the show. The narrative begins a short while after Elliot had a complete mental breakdown and smashed up a server room, he is seeing a court appointed therapist, is socially paralyzed to the point of which we see him linger outside a birthday party and retreat home to cry in loneliness.

The entire first season Mr. Robot is depicted as another character, akin to Tyler Durden, a wild revolutionary who wants to encrypt the data of the world's largest bank in order to seal the debt records and reset everything back to 0. He starts off appearing in scenes involving the men in black stalking Elliot to mingle him in with the paranoid delusions and eventually begins interacting with him in earnest. Though the reveal is treated as a twist 8 episodes into the show Elliot does accuse the audience of knowing the entire time and he refuses to speak to us for some time, even going as far as to keep secrets from us because he cannot trust us any longer.

It's at this point that I will note that media depictions of DID tend to lean heavily on the phrase "it's a visual medium" and depict ways that characters can see, interact with and communicate with alters/parts in a dramatic setting. Off the top of my head Hulk is about the only form of fiction I've seen where the temptation to do this doesn't take over and even then the old "other face in the mirror" trope shows up there.

So for what it's worth the paranoid thinking and hallucinations are not DID symptoms and typically a person with the condition cannot see or hear their alters. In fact a testing criteria included in the MID exam is to rule out schizophrenia by eliminating the possibility that the voices heard are external or that any hallucinations exist. In Mr. Robot they are likely caused by Elliot's morphine addiction, but he gets clean after season 1 and Mr. Robot is always there.

There are some plot elements which I want to talk about but they do spoil the final "twist" of the show. So I want to warn again that anyone in the process of watching should be warned we are getting into entire show spoiler territory.

The Elliot we see in the show is the result of the stress fueled breakdown that Mr. Alderson had 6 months prior to the show starting. The timeline is fuzzy in my head but there were two triggers which set him off and began his condition flaring up (and/or caused him to lean harder into his drug addiction which in turn fueled his condition). The one we know about is that he was locked in a server room and forced to work long into the night on an issue and the already upset and stressed Elliot snapped and had a black-out.

We come to learn that he has had these his whole life but this is the first time such an incident occurred that he couldn't self-justify what had happened. He smashed up a server room, something he felt himself not capable of.

But the second trigger is the more important one.

His sister, Darlene, moved to NYC and started visiting him.

The bigger and better twist of season 1 is that Elliot and Darlene are siblings. This is hidden from Elliot and the audience for the first 7 episodes and her presence is treated much like Marla Singer from Fight Club, of whom she likely contains some inspiration, where she keeps showing up in Elliot's apartment and acting overly familiar with him.

In the earliest episodes when we are learning about Elliot's lonely life he looks at a photograph of himself and his mother at Coney Island. Due to some hallucinations we know that Magda is an abusive mother and screamed at/hit Elliot a lot. We learn more about her in future episodes and she is a truly horrible parent. Likely more than was ever depicted in the show.

The photo is actually of the full Alderson family including Darlene and Edward but is not shown as such until the reveals that Darlene is Elliot's sister and Mr. Robot is modeled after Elliot's father. The photograph is a reference to Back to the Future.

But it also is a fairly good visual representation of self-filtering information, even when it is contradictory in nature. This is common not just in DID but in all forms of CPTSD.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a condition that develops during prolonged exposure to trauma and makes radical changes to the nervous system. CPTSD is considered a root of DID and it is universal for those diagnosed with DID to have a CPTSD diagnosis also.

One of the ways CPTSD symptoms manifest is "Emotional Avoidance". The nervous system is activated when triggers related to the trauma exist within the person's life. In order to function their brains push away these reminders and naturally avoid interacting with them. This causes those with the condition to become withdrawn, to isolate and to have distorted and often contradicting patterns of thought. For instance Elliot needs connection and safety that he associates with family but his family were his primary abusers and so he edits his memories to focus on positive associations such as a family trip to Coney Island that has become an obsession to him in adulthood. We later learn that Elliot's obsession with movies was born from it being his primary way of connecting with his father... which is fairly relatable.

His positive memories of his parents are held in high regard even though we know that his father "pushed him out of a window" and his mother used to put out cigarette butts on Darlene, tried to force her to commit animal cruelty and is often depicted in hallucinations as beating and screaming at Elliot.

In a case where it is impossible to avoid the traumatic trigger, for instance the return of relative who is a living reminder of his abusive childhood, the individual may begin to dissociate. Dissociation being where a person, overwhelmed by what they are experiencing has a separation from their normal state leading to a disconnect from emotions, sense of self and reality.

Episode 8 in particular contains a visual depiction of it when Elliot is having a quiet meltdown over finding out he has a 2 day deadline and his boss at work has known about the server exploit he installed all along.

(the show often uses the camera in ways to emphasize emotional walls, dissociation and isolation like this. This sequence does so by having hard cuts, shaky cam and frantic pace melt into a gliding slow lull where the background noise filters out and we can share in Elliot's distance from his situation for a moment)

Elliot's form of blocking out is extreme but has half a foot in reality (and half a foot in the logic born from the "twist" ending) in that in order to continue interacting with Darlene he views her as a member of Fsociety and edits out their connection until it is revealed in episode 7.

A small brilliancy about Fsociety is that the entire group is formed around Elliot and Darlene's need for childhood safety. The hacking elements of the show undoubtedly born from 9 year old Elliot spending time at Mr. Robot computer repair with a smile. The anon-mask that the show uses comes from an in-universe movie that Darlene and Elliot watched every Halloween and their base of operations is Coney Island. A place that both siblings seem to associate with safety and happiness...

Which is extra messed up when you factor Season 2's revelation that Darlene was kidnapped while on a family trip to Coney Island.

Darlene's panic attacks, need to feel special and her abusive upbringing are not the topic for this essay, but I wanted to make mention that Magda was such a horrible mother that a 4/5 year old Darlene thinks of being kidnapped from a family trip to Coney Island as one of her most precious childhood memories.

The desire to reach into the past and change things to create an ideal future is a heavy theme of the show and I feel it's important to note that though the Alderson siblings reject Whiterose and her scheme, they are both living in an almost literal fun house distortion of the few unambiguously GOOD childhood memories that they each have and have wrapped them around themselves like a protective blanket.

The plot of season 1 gets a lot more uncomfortable when you realize how much of Fsociety is two traumatized kids recreating positive elements of their childhood and trying to live inside of those memories while lashing out at those who took their father away from them. The entire plan is centered around events from 1995. The show takes place in 2015.

Mr. Robot himself is, of course, the ultimate symbol of that take on events.

Edward Alderson was a monster. He's referred to as such overtly in Elliot's detox fever dream. Everyone asks him who his "monster" is while handing him the key that we learn was to his childhood bedroom. A key that he hid to prevent Edward from entering his room late at night.

Yet throughout the first 3 seasons of the show we are only shown him in context of the positive memories that he and Elliot shared. Elliot was 9 years old when Edward passed away from leukemia.

At a point, Elliot is picked up from school. He has a bruise on his cheek and the scene begins with Edward asking "If I had to guess, you didn't tell Principal Howard your side.", assuring him it's okay to share his side of the story. Because Edward is convincing him to tell his side I am going to assume Elliot got into a fight but it's not impossible to assume that the school pulled Edward in to discuss the signs of physical abuse on the child. Edward would never tell Elliot to tell his side of that story so I assume it was a fight.

It's unclear if Mr. Robot is the one who participated in those fights (we only have 2 confirmed instances of Elliot's alters showing up in childhood. The window incident and the day Edward died) but Edward picks him up and protects him from his mother's wrath and bonds with him during that drive, he reveals his diagnosis to Elliot before inviting him to work with him at the computer repair store. Likely this is what leads to Elliot's hacker skills being born.

A hauntingly similar event in my own life is why I am a photographer.

Given that the majority of Season 1 has Elliot in the dark about his condition we are only given context as to why he is the way he is and see the display of dissociative symptoms which manifest from CPTSD. Mr. Robot existing at all is actually not required for this to be a good depiction of adults who grew up in abusive environments and the way they maladaptively cope.

I also want to give a little praise to the "itch at the back of [Elliot's] head" that shows up when he feels the desire to hack someone or dig deeper and the way he pushes forward with his own will until he calms down enough to let a creeping hesitation overcome him and prevent him from acting.

Passive Influence is part of DID. It's a situation where a "fronting" (that is to say part that is in control at a time) performs an unthinking action or is emotionally swayed by the influence of another part/alter that is not presently conscious. These are one of the biggest ways that the condition flies under the radar for many. When they are close to discovering proof of their condition they will often feel an unconscious push away from it. The phenomenon is fairly easily brushed aside internally as "a gut feeling" or an "impulse" but it's observable under the right conditions.

An instance I can think of in my own life is when our survival part is trying to push people away and our emotional part desperately tries to reach out. I will often find my hand grabbing a person's wrist and clinging tightly to it without even noticing that I've done it.

In the show Elliot is compelled by Mr. Robot when he feels someone is a danger or has a weakness that can be exploited. Part of him knows he needs to do something about it and so he lets himself be guided.

The season ends with The 5/9 Hack succeeding, all the financial data being encrypted and Elliot sent to prison for (minor) hacking charges.

He knows who Mr. Robot is now and he fears him as his enemy.

Season 2 (and the book): Exploration

The first 8 episodes of Season 2 are a filter for those watching the show, many drop off. Personally I love it but I can see why it's not for everyone. Season 2 is much slower than the first and Elliot is in prison for those 8 episodes. He's also imagining that prison is his mother's house.

That daydreaming coping mechanism is largely there to add a fairly unearned sense of mystery to a character development season and make things a little more visually interesting. For the most part I don't really want to focus too much on it or the way Elliot treats "us"/"friend".

The fact is that for this season Mr. Robot and Elliot are in direct conflict but they are feeling out their landscape and trying to find common ground. They are pulling in different directions but they are reacting and responding to one another. The show uses a chess match as a visual symbol of this and in such they are keeping one another in a constant state of check. They are opposed to one another but they are communicating and working things out.

So let's start by looking at the book. The book is a recreation of the in-universe journal that Elliot keeps while he is in prison. We see him writing in it during the show and the entire thing is available, it even includes little ARG elements to let you decode the messages Mr. Robot is receiving from The Dark Army.

The book is detailed like this and it's possible to note when Elliot's handwriting turns into Mr. Robot's handwriting. There are even points where there is "blended" handwriting. It's easy to spot in the above image because Mr. Robot writes with a heavy hand and in all caps where Elliot is soft and uses lower case, in the top line of the second page "you NeeD atteNtioN aNd aRe Willing to pay a lotta MoNey to get it." you can see Elliot slipping from one headspace to another while becoming upset at society.

Even still if you look above the FUCK SOCIETY image you see Elliot's calmer handwriting as clear and flowing.

When we were in denial of our condition we poured through journal after journal and chatlog after chatlog hunting for evidence to prove or disprove the theory.

It was when I looked at our old gaming journals (we took notes in pen/pencil live during TTRPG sessions because memory issues are gonna memory issues) that we noticed similar. Cursive used in some phrases, individual letters separate on another, the letters g and y getting curled at times and not at other times.

Subtler than what is displayed above but no less real.

Season 2 introduces us to Ray the warden brilliantly played by Craig Robinson. He empathizes with Elliot because he speaks to his dead wife as a means of coping with grief and assumes that Elliot is the same.

He offers Elliot guidance by asking him to play chess "against himself" and this leads to Elliot and Mr. Robot playing endless games of stalemate against one another with deletion on the line for the loser. It's the same brain and neither side wants to lose (nor do they truly want to win, Elliot admits as much in Season 3 that he likes having Mr. Robot and misses him when he's not around) and as noted above with passive influence, the games are always guided to end in a stalemate because no matter how opposed they are as forces, they both want the same things.

So... how about the Sitcom episode?

Elliot breaks his promise to Ray and looks at the website that he is tasked with doing tech support on. It's--- not good.

Ray uses a combination of crooked cops and convicted Neo-Nazis to have Elliot beaten into submission so he won't report what he saw. Elliot cannot handle this and has a mental break and wakes up in a 90s 4 camera sitcom world.

Alf is there. Because old episodes of Alf are playing in the medical ward at the time Elliot is being treated for his wounds.

The entire time he is taking a beating Mr. Robot is protecting Elliot by fronting and forcing him into an inner-world fantasy.

Okay... so Inner-Worlds.

In the show we actually had one of these in Season 1 during the detox trip but I want to talk about it now and round back and talk more in Season 4.

Inner-Worlds are a thing within DID treatment. Emphasis on the word treatment. It's one of the more commonly misunderstood things within discussion on the condition because it's regularly reported as part of the experiences within those who are diagnosed with DID but it's important to know that the existence of the diagnosis indicates the existence of treatment.

During any adapted 3 or 4 phase trauma treatment program that includes parts work, whether this be Internal Family Systems model which is used for individuals who do not have DID or system mapping and stabilization for those who do, the patient must work on creating a "meeting" space to visualize (or sense out emotionally for those with aphantasia) and much of the work of developing safety and structure within comes from filling that space with comforts and generating communication between parts.

I'll talk more on the "conference table" in Season 4.

It is possible for those not going through therapy to create one outside of the context of a therapeutic alliance but the creation of one is an intentional act. Not something that comes free with your childhood trauma.

Elliot's trip to the inner-world keeps him from experiencing any of the beating that the body is receiving and at the end Mr. Robot earnestly says he only wanted to take the punches for Elliot, nothing more. Elliot falls against him, tearful and whimpers out "Thank you" before we are given the flashback of the day Edward picked up 9 year old Elliot from school after the fight and confesses his leukemia.

For the record, my heart swells every time I see Mr. Robot acting as a protector.

So, let's talk S2E9 and the "blending" incident.

Blending is what happens when two parts/alters are co-conscious and are present enough that they are sharing control of the body. It's an uncomfortable experience. Co-Consciousness means that more than one part/alter is actively perceiving the world at any given time.

It's more complicated than binary yes/no. Every one of these experiences exists on a spectrum and no two people with the condition experience it quite the same way but there are levels of presence that one has.

The following is me talking more from anecdotes and personal experience than textbooks. I like to be clear when I'm not being academic because I do not want to spread misinformation in my arbitrary analysis of TV shows that will get 20 notes on Tumblr Dot Com.

Front is to be driving the body, to have your inner monologue playing (if you have one, most people do, but it's not a given) and have your emotions interact with the nervous system if you are grounded enough to feel your experiences. As I said, it's a spectrum. Everyone gets dissociated at times and can just go into auto-pilot or a trance. That all still counts as being in front.

To be conscious but not front is to exist in an emotionally reactive state. If Fronting is driving then co-consciousness is to be in the passenger seat.

It's truly difficult to describe and my therapist doesn't even fully comprehend it despite her being the one who educates me on these topics. Presently as I type this I can only feel one of our system (5 parts) active and "with" me right now. She's not speaking but she's reacting. I can feel her apprehension to us typing this much about our personal life, little flits of paranoid thinking that we'll get anon-hate or that people from our former life will see this and judge us. It's a presence and exists on a gradient. She's "awake" right now but I do not consider her fully "co-con" because if I asked her to tell me what she thinks about this sentence I can feel an emotional reaction (apprehension) but not a direct answer akin to "I think you should edit out references to our journal and focus on talking about the show" (which is what I imagine she would say right now). That's the spectrum.

Closer to the front a part/alter is the more direct communication happens.

There's also "asleep" and "dormant" when they are unresponsive. Pretty self explanatory. Elliot's system has 5 parts(plus "friend") and until Season 4 we only really see Mr. Robot and the main character version of Elliot. Magda and Young Elliot show up in hallucinations in Season 1 and Young Elliot is co-con in Season 4. Magda never shows up outside of emotional flashbacks and the inner-world.

So after Elliot and Mr. Robot combine forces (though Mr. Robot is still working with the Dark Army and is trying to move in secret) they have moments where they rapidly switch and cannot keep straight who is fronting at any given time.

There's a scene where Elliot is in another room thinking to "friend" when he hears an argument in the next room and realizes Mr. Robot is in the argument. As he walks in, Mr. Robot is surprised to see that Elliot is aware when he is fronting and he trails off and they switch.

Mr. Robot says that something feels off about how they are acting and that they feel like they're overheating.

A later scene depicts Elliot phasing out mid-conversation on the subway and picturing himself in the next car observing Mr. Robot talking to Cisco while a passenger plays erratic music on a keyboard.

That is such a horrifyingly accurate depiction of something we live with that I was stunned to see it on screen. I've included it in some of my stories that go over living with these experiences but the idea is when we are stressed out, can't keep our head straight and are blended like this we tend to have snippets of music playing over and over in our head. We also get what I refer to as "static" and that seems to be relatable in support groups.

A++ for the show depicting something about the DID experience that simply does not get spoken about outside of the spaces of people dealing with it. It was the moment I knew they actually spoke to people who experience this stuff and did proper research that wasn't just media depictions and medical textbooks.

The final part of Season 2's wild ride I want to talk about is the "lucid dreaming" bit.

Mind awake. Body asleep. Mind awake. Body asleep.

This again goes into Overt DID which I cannot comment on as much as covert depictions but the idea is that Elliot trains himself to remain awake when Mr. Robot takes over. We have seen from the blending experience that he is starting to remain when Mr. Robot is active and so he tries to force himself to stay when Mr. Robot is active.

In therapy this would be achieved through trust, communication and awareness. It's said in communities that systems tend to become more overt as they go through treatment as they are able to identify lines, parts can advocate for themselves and there's better understanding of what "self" means for every alter.

In my experience there's also an element of trying to pretend to be consistent and whole. We were coming out transgender when our therapist guided us towards DID diagnosis and there was a lot of tearing ourselves apart because we needed to act in a certain way for our safety and inability to do so put us at risk of being targeted. In accepting our system we have stopped trying to be the same individual and that has lead to a more overt presentation. As I tell my therapist "we need to act out our gender expression anyway. Every action we take is a performance."

That is to say, Mr. Robot has never attempted to maintain the illusion that he is Elliot Alderson (albeit he never identifies himself. He's even surprised to learn that Elliot calls him that) and Elliot doesn't even know he is "The Mastermind".

In opting to remain hidden and conscious he gains a greater degree of control and agency in his situation.

These things get easier as you learn your condition, build system trust and allow yourself to experience that which you feel comfortable experiencing. With the example of the beating earlier, Mr. Robot shut Elliot out and took the beating for him and Elliot resisted but ultimately did not want to be present. In this episode he learns that if he wishes he could have pushed through and been there and experienced everything, albeit as a passenger rather than the driver.

Therapy also teaches how to "go into the back room" to maintain stability. A technique that lets you volunteer to not be involved in a situation. My system all use this whenever I (Dawn) perform erotic intimacy of any kind. They cannot handle the thought of associating with those acts and prior to treatment it would emotionally disregulate our nervous system if parts that couldn't handle the concept were to be present during those moments because parts of me would be trying to dissociate while I am trying to act. It would either trigger a switch, cause blending or make a part shut down and become unresponsive for a large period of time- one of our partners actually discovered our system this way. She saw us shut down during a scene and realized it wasn't just a "mood swing" as we had insisted.

Elliot learns how to intentionally open up and be present when Mr. Robot is active and because Plot happens he is shot and decides to use this skill to close himself off and create a stronger divide between parts.

Season 3: Rejection

If Season 2 was the pair working things out on a chess match where they keep one another in check then Season 3 is after Elliot has tossed the board and decided to shut Mr. Robot out completely.

The arc words are "battling in our own voids", in Season 1 Mr. Robot was always aware of what Elliot was doing but Elliot was unaware of Mr. Robot's actions and in Season 2 they were fairly co-conscious to the point of overheating. Season 3 the connection is shut down. Mr. Robot has no concept of what Elliot is doing and Elliot no concept of what Mr. Robot is doing.

This goes back to the Overt/Covert thing mentioned at the start. It's a rare thing even within a rare disorder to have that level of amnesia barriers between parts and so I can't really comment on accuracy. It's a frustrating season for me in that regard because Season 2 was doing so well at depicting something that I have lived through that going back to Fight Club tropes was fairly disappointing to me.

Season 3 is great by the way. It's a debate on if 3 or 4 is the best but it's close enough that there is a debate.

The real meat of the discussion, spare for the events of the final episode where they reconcile, is in how other people treat them and talk about their condition.

Angela Moss is Elliot's childhood best friend and also lost a parent to the disaster that claimed Edward Alderson's life. She discovered Elliot's condition during his breakdown in S1E8 and was brainwashed by the show villain Whiterose in S2E11 (I have a write-up of the psychological principals at play with the brainwashing here).

In Season 3 she acts as Elliot/Mr. Robot's handler and is responsible for helping Mr. Robot continue his hacktivist terrorism without Elliot finding out. She betrays Elliot and exploits his condition. She also tells people about it without his knowledge or consent, which is pretty fucking monstrous in my eyes.

Don't out a person. Just don't do it.

When Mr. Robot asks how she can tell who she's talking to she responds "Your eyes. You're never trying to look away." which is accurate enough that I messaged my girlfriend to be sappy and grateful towards her as the first time she noticed our condition she told me it was our eyes.

From a 2022 IM chat, shared with permission:

"it's ... well, it's [...] your eyes soften, kind of, when going to Cammie. Dawn has this piercing gaze, like she's looking right into my heart and soul. Camden is just very alert, noticing so many things but not the level of piercing. Cammie... her gaze is softer. More focused, but in a ... drinking everything in, rather than seeking it out sort of way"

and added today when I asked for permission to share the quote:

"(for the record, Craig draws his eyebrows down in a particular way that makes his gaze intense in a good way)"

The show works as hard as it can to never let the audience wonder who they are seeing on screen at any time. Most scenes where Rami Malek is depicting Mr. Robot it is a brief perspective view to remind us what the other characters are seeing before switching back to Christian Slater playing the character. There are a few scenes which involve Rami playing the character for a full sequence. One is the context for a flashback where we see a scene Slater performed through another character's eyes where they see Malek.

The others usually involve us being in Darlene's perspective to highlight her unease and uncertainty of what is happening with her brother.

The only scene where it is ever treated as a surprise is when Darlene plants a bug on Elliot's computer while staying overnight and is roughly interrogated by "Elliot", only to realize midway through the conversation "Jesus. It's you".

The camera cuts back to reveal it has been Mr. Robot the entire scene. They avoid that trick throughout the show so it has large impact when it actually happens.

I feel like that scene (as well as the scene where Elliot wears the real Mr. Robot jacket and gives birth to the 2 Stage plan to take down Evil Corp) are important for reminding that no matter how differently Malek and Slater play their roles, to an outside observer they are the same person and when he acts "out of character" it could easily just be an emotional outburst.

Incidentally you can see the physicality of the acting if you go back and watch it again.

The end of the season has Elliot, betrayed, alone and terrified for the safety of his sister; finally reach out to Mr. Robot and open a dialogue.

He even goes out of his way to have this discussion on the Ferris Wheel at Coney Island both as a Season 1 callback and as a sign of trust. Elliot admits in this conversation that he missed Mr. Robot while he shut him out and wants him to be part of his life and in the season finale Mr. Robot says that he wants the two of them to keep talking.

Elliot also finds out that the window incident wasn't his dad pushing him out of a window. They jumped. Elliot asks in a kind and soft way to Mr. Robot, representing both his protector and an element of the loving father he wished he had, "did you know?"

Mr. Robot, the one who jumped. The one who wanted to protect Elliot from Edward says nothing. But he finally feels an alliance form with Elliot.

The road to healing finally has opened.

Season 4: Integration and Fusion

So let's address the elephant in the room right away. The show uses the word "real" to describe the Elliot who existed before the show started and considers him to be the only legitimate alter. There is enough wiggle room within the show to think that is in-universe ignorance but the show does nothing to prevent the fumble at the finish line.

I want to say upfront and before I start dissecting this season that outdated models of DID believed that there was a crack formed in a person's sense of self and that healing involved restoring the identity prior to the crack.

This is 100% UNTRUE and it upsets me that people once believed it. DID is formed in childhood during a time of a person's life (between ages 4-9) where the child is taking in data from their surroundings and integrating it into their socialized survival mechanics to form a personality. The child is working out what traits it can exhibit to receive nurture, care and protection from other humans and will adapt to those processes. Attachment Theory goes into greater detail about how this relates to the formation of psychological disorders, especially personality disorders.

For a traumatized child they will find that their environments do not offer consistent and reliable safety and thus they are unable to adapt to a version of their reality where they are able to maintain stable safety. This may be horrifying forms of physical, emotional and sexual abuse placed upon a child and is often depicted as such but it can also be a confused child trying to get affection from a cold and distant parent or having a parent who abuses alcohol and becomes inconsistent in their ability to give affection and care. Child psychology is a heavy and depressing field, sadly.

The result is that the child never forms a permanent sense of identity. This is a large factor in the formation of Borderline Personality Disorder and is why DID and BPD are so often thrown together within medical treatment and diagnosis. It's at the point of which when my therapist gave me our diagnosis she presented a clinical list of "myths" regarding DID and "BPD is the same thing as DID" was 5 on the list of 6.

The point of this detour is to say that there is no original self. A person who has DID never managed to form a stable sense of identity in childhood and thus they find themselves acting as chameleons in their day-to-day life, adapting to what they feel they need to become in order to receive the things they need from their surroundings. It's why there is a stigma in the BPD community over the concept of being "manipulative". In reality people with that condition are unconsciously adapting to their environment as a survival mechanism. With DID the added layer of dissociation is there to help the self function even when they are forced to interact with materials that are incompatible with their ability to function.

Pre-show Elliot was living a fairly comfortable life but his emotional needs were not met and at the time he was alienated from his sister. He was miserable and lived in a society that he felt was crumbling. His daydreaming gave birth to "The Mastermind" to remove the threats from his reality and Mr. Robot who had been there all along went into Protective Sicko Mode and decided to expedite the process in a way only a protector's morality could.

We'll get into system roles a little later.

The point is that day-to-day life Elliot (Janina Fisher's book "Healing the Fragmented Self" refers to the part untouched by trauma as the "going about daily life" part) is not Real. He is not The Original. Those terms do not exist and are meaningless in this space.

True/Real/Orignal-Elliot is as much a construct as Mr. Robot. He's a version of Elliot who does not have to think about the trauma, he can just live a happy normal life. The kind that Elliot speaks often and derisively about in Season 1.

With that out of the way, I'm going to ignore the bad use of language and talk only about what is depicted on the screen and not said out loud. Because if you remove the misconception about real/original from the mixture, this is a perfect depiction of final fusion model healing.

Season 4 introduces us to the conference table in the inner world. A conference table is a therapeutic technique used in trauma therapy where you bring the alters/parts to a conference. The idea is that it needs to be a neutral ground where everyone is comfortable and able to share their thoughts and ideas. With practice it can be a space one can close their eyes and imagine, seeing their system and allowing communication to happen between parts.

Mine is based on the Minerals Gallery in the Natural History Museum in London. I refer to it as The Library. You didn't need to know that but I didn't want to discuss this section without mentioning it.

Elliot's is the conference room in Evil Corp where he and Tyrell spoke in the first episode.

Interestingly enough there are only 4 seats in this set. I'm not sure what the implication is here as in the scene depicted above Magda (Persecutor Alter) is scolding Young Elliot (Child Alter) for sitting in a chair that isn't his. They mention all 3 alters who are not present (Elliot, Mr. Robot and The Other One).

My thought is that this is the show going all in on the idea that Elliot ("Real") is not an alter and does not take a seat at the table. Which I have issues with.

I'll note as I did with the inner-world that this is a therapy technique and not something Elliot would just have in his mind. It's an accurate depiction of DID treatment but Elliot isn't being treated for DID. Krista is no way near close enough to be able to help Elliot. She's wonderful and deserves the world and more for how she handles things in this season but she's in the pre-stabilization phase of therapy where she knows more than Elliot is willing to accept and needs to wait for him to come around.

Speaking of Krista. Episode 7 is the greatest hour of television rivaled only by Ozymandias from Breaking Bad and the M*A*S*H finale. At present it has a 9.9 on IMDB.

The episode is structured as a bottle episode in way of a 5 act play depicting the stages of grief. This is the episode where Elliot peels back to dissociative layers and understands the truth. The truth of what his father did.

I won't type it.

I don't need to.

The next episode involves Elliot seeing Young Elliot and following him to a museum exhibit with a model of Manhattan. In Season 1 when Elliot had his psychotic break after realizing Darlene is his sister Darlene and Angela checked this location stating it was a place he used to go in times of crisis.

It turns out when he was young Elliot hid the key to his bedroom here to prevent Edward from getting in. All these years later adult Elliot (or "The Mastermind" if you prefer, which I do not) discovers it and has a heart-to-heart with his younger self, screaming into the emptiness that he's sorry for not protecting him. Sorry for letting him get hurt.

The scene is lit in the golden hues that symbolize safety in this show. The final season also takes place during Christmas in New York so it gets to show off that color palette more often which is great for symbolism and aesthetic.

Young Elliot shows that the act of hiding the key from their father was protecting him. It was fighting back. Sometimes surviving is the best you can do and you need to forgive yourself for not being able to do more.

God I love this show so much.

That episode ends with the scene I most want to just overtly show off to an audience.

youtube

I already loved the show. The final episode may have broken my heart a little with its talk of "Real" but this scene? This scene gets it.

Prior to the above video clip Mr. Robot cautiously approaches and says "Hey, kiddo". Something he always says. It's who he is. Regardless of anything else he, Mr. Robot, is designed from the father Elliot wishes he had and when he hears Mr. Robot-- no Edward's voice he tenses up in terror, allowing the above scene to take place with Mr. Robot so scared that he has failed as a protector by allowing Elliot to remember and that he cannot be there for him any longer because of who he is based off of.

Those with the condition commonly create alters who are based on the traits of those in the child's life at the time the symptoms developed. I... have experience.

The lines I want to focus on the most are:

Mr Robot: If I could go back in time and change everything that happened to you... just make it all go away...

Elliot: Then I wouldn't be me... *He turns to finally look at Mr. Robot* ...and I wouldn't have you.

The final arc of the show is where the "Mastermind" twist takes center stage and Elliot enters his inner-world and finds out that he created a peaceful reality for "Real" Elliot to exist in so that he is unharmed by the horrors of the world that is crumbling in reality. Mr. Robot, as a protector, wanted to expedite the whole hack and destruction of capitalism in order to rescue "Real" Elliot from the inner-world prison. In time he came to accept "Mastermind" as a part of the whole and not a rogue alter who was endangering the body and their "Host".

S4E13 lays it all down. An imagined version of Krista speaks directly to Elliot and explains the system and their functions. Mr. Robot a father and protector who could prevent Elliot from intolerable situations. Magda, a persecutor who blamed Elliot for the abuse. Young Elliot, who Elliot could push the traumatic situations on, a common thing that many do unconsciously in CPTSD situations, dissociating from the person the trauma happened to, disconnecting until they are just another version of self.

Elliot then says "I guess she doesn't know about you." referring to us, the audience.

Krista(*) looks into the camera and addresses us directly, calling us the voyeurs who pretend we're not a part of it even though we have been here for it all. She even claims we are on her side in getting "Mastermind" to accept he is a constructed personality who was there to lash out at the society that caused him so much pain.

"You loved him so much you wanted to keep him safe, no matter the cost."

The episode ends with "Mastermind" Elliot waking up in a hospital and reuniting with Darlene only to realize that she has known the entire time that the person we have been following throughout the show wasn't her "real" brother.

...and god damn it I hate this element of the show so much.

I'll accept that they had very little time to clean things up and needed to get a way to have Mastermind agree to the fusion. I'll even demonize Darlene and say she was being selfish and ignorant in saying something hurtful because she missed the version of her brother that existed before Fsociety.

But Our version of Elliot says that he loves her and she doesn't reply. Her disappointment and resignation causes Our Elliot to go back inside and agree to the fusion.

The show ends in a first person perspective of Darlene seeing her "real" brother wake up and that's it. I'm glad we never actually see "Real" Elliot, that feels fitting.

Here's the thing about that last minute fumble though.

Let's talk about Integration and Fusion. They are different things.

Integration is when dissociative barriers come down. The system is stabilized to the point of which the alters are capable of communicating openly, sharing thoughts, memories and experiences and every part has the ability to opt in or out as life goes on.

"Functional Multiplicity" is what happens when a system is in harmony, no memories are being withheld and the system is able to go about everyday life with minimal disruption or disregulation. It is a valid goal for trauma therapy and there's a decent amount of medical stigma around it being used as the goal and not a step towards the goal. Many clinicians prioritize the appearance of normalcy over the function of the individual(s).

Fusion is when you go the extra step and take this communication and sharing of memory and experience and as you tore down the dissociative barriers you tear away the division between parts.

A system is made up of parts that make up a whole person and Fusion is the process of all parts uniting to "become" that whole person. It is a valid and normal goal for treatment. It shouldn't be held up as the only legitimate method of healing but it shouldn't be demonized for being an option. I say this because I have seen some people in support communities get real upset when the topic comes up.

The final sequence of the show, prior to Elliot opening his eyes, involves the system at the inner-world conference table agreeing to go through with it and walking towards a cinema screen. Elliot says this will only work if we go too.

The family (and audience) sit down in the movie theatre and memories flood onto the screen and pour out until all experiences and emotions are shared in one pool and Elliot Alderson opens his eyes with all 5(+audience) alters fused into one.

It was almost perfect if only Darlene hadn't have rejected the "not real" brother.

The cinema screen projecting memories, all the thoughts and experiences being shared as the Alderson System accept their parts in the whole and agree to the process? It was a beautiful visualization of a healing journey.

There are imperfect moments here and there. There are great moments I skipped over such as S3E8 (I'm not up for talking about Self-Deletion today) but all in all it's the best depiction of DID for a main character we'll likely get on TV. It's a whole and complete narrative and I love it so much. It makes me feel seen.

#dawn posting #mr robot #dissociative identity disorder #elliot alderson #did #plurality #domo arigato mr alderson #media myself and i #watch me post my trauma in public #Youtube #media essays

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bellaireland1981 · 1 year

Text

Starting Over | 8

Summary: You come home to work to find your husband of three years in bed with your supposed best friend. It’s the wake up call you finally needed to take your two year old daughter and get the hell out of Texas. With nowhere to go you head to your big brother in San Diego. The sagger squad takes you under their wings, and shows you what having a family means. You get a fresh start… will you find your happily ever after?

Characters: Jake “hangman” Seresin x Sister! Reader, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Seresin! Reader (Eventually), Hangman x Phoenix , Adorable OC Gracie! The Dagger squad

Word Count: 10,161

Warnings: Angst, fighting, cheating husband, emotional abuse, eventual fluff, smut in later chapters, Sweet uncle Jake, Adorable Rooster with a toddler… if I miss any please let me know.

A/N: I don’t own the characters or storyline for Top Gun Maverick. All OC’s are mine. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANYONE TO COPY OR REPOST MY WORK TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM! DON’T STEAL! Reblogs, likes and comments ALWAYS welcomed. THANK YOU @waywardodysseys and @beyondthesefourwalls as always for reading over my work and helping me flush out ideas!!

Taglist is open! If I missed anyone who asked to be tagged, please fill out this GOOGLE FORM to be added. It’s getting to hard to keep track of asks.

CH 1 CH 2 CH 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7

The weekend flew by, with a much needed beach day with the whole squad on Saturday and a relaxing day spent at the house on Sunday. With Trent in jail without the ability to be released on a bond this time, you finally felt like you were able to breathe for the first time since everything started.

Jake decided to still keep his leave time, using it as an opportunity to help you with Gracie so you could start to look into daycares and meet with Penny to figure out hours for the job she’d offered. He was also making you go to UCSD to meet with an admissions representative to look into masters programs for degrees you REALLY wanted and not just something you were forced into. It felt like your life was finally falling into place and everything was going so well… you were almost afraid to trust it.

Tuesday afternoon your lawyer called to let you know that Trent’s hearing was set for the following week. Since the divorce hearing would also be next Tuesday, it appeared as if everything could potentially be over by next week, or at least closer to being over. She reassured you that with this being the second time that he violated the order of protection he would definitely be looking at jail time, just as the officers had said on Friday. She also said that she’d be surprised if he didn’t go ahead and sign off on the divorce and parental rights ahead of the other hearing as his lawyer would most likely advise it. You doubted that though since Trent rarely did anything anyone advised him to do.

“Tulip, I’m going to take Princess G to the park then to get some ice cream.” Jake said, bringing Gracie into the living room after her nap. “I think Nix is going to try to meet us there. Take some time for yourself this afternoon. Enjoy ‘you’ time.”

“I don’t even know what to do with ‘me’ time.” You laughed.

“Exactly the point.” He said, “Maybe go get your toes painted or whatever girls do. Or go drive to UCSD, or go shopping… get your hair done… just… something that is 100% for YOU Tulip.”

“Ok.” You said, giving in, knowing Jake wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer anyway.

“And do not even THINK about dinner tonight.” He added, “Phoenix and I are stealing this one tonight. Bradley will be coming to get you after he’s off to take you to dinner.”

“I guess you have it all figured out then, huh?” You laughed. “Thank you, Jakey. I love you… and I’m lucky to have you for my big brother.”

“I love you too, Tulip.” He replied. “Alright, Princess G… ready to go to the park? Nix is gonna meet us there!”

“Yes Pwease.” She replied, still sleepily, “Mommy, you go too?”

“No, baby.” you replied, smiling, “You get to have Uncle Jakey all to yourself. Mommy will see you later.”

“Tomorrow morning.” Jake corrected, “We’re going to have a sleepover with Aunty Nix and build forts and watch movies and eat pizza. No mommies allowed.”

“Why no mommies, Unco Jakey?” Gracie asked, looking concerned.

“Because then we couldn’t stay up past bedtime and eat junk food and watch movies IN the fort.” He explained in an exaggerated whisper.

“Otay” She whispered back loudly, “Sowy Mommy!”

“It’s ok, Baby.” You laughed, “You have fun with Uncle Jakey and Aunty Nix.”

“Pack an overnight bag before Bradley picks you up for dinner, Tulip.” Jake said, winking at you.

“Daddy Woosta?” Gracie asked, “I see him too!”

“DADDY Rooster?” Jake asked, smiling widely and looking at you with eyebrows raised.

“She started calling him that Friday night after everything happened…” You explained, “Bradley melted… I didn’t see a problem…”

“I like it.” Jake said, “I approve, just so you know.”

“How about we stop over after dinner to check on the fort building, Baby Girl?” You suggested.

“Yes!” She said, excited, “I wuv him. We call him?”

“Princess G, Daddy Rooster is flying in his plane right now. Mommy will make sure he comes to see you later, ok?” Jake suggested..

“Otay!” She agreed, “We go park now?”

“Sure can,” Jake said, “Let me grab your bag, Princess.”

“Come give Mommy big hugs, Baby girl!” You said, taking her from Jake so he could go get her stuff packed. “Be good for Uncle Jakey and Aunty Nix, Ok?”

“Otay, Mommy.” She promised, hugging you, “I wuv you.”

“I love you too, my Baby girl!” You replied, hugging her back. You were thankful she was so little and none of the crap with Trent would have any lasting effects on her. She was a happy and loving little girl, living her best life.

“Alright, Princess G, the park awaits!” Jake said, coming back to the living room. “Have fun, Tulip. Love you” He dropped a kiss on your head, reclaiming Gracie and the two were off on their adventure, leaving you to shake your head and laugh at the closing door on their way out.

You decided to go get a pedicure before heading to the Hard Deck to talk to Penny about finally taking her up on her offer of the part time job handling the books and inventory, freeing her up to take time away from the bar during the day occasionally. You would work 3 days a week, leaving you enough time to take classes if you decided to pursue a master’s degree. You were still undecided on that for the time being. You had enough changes happening, enough on your plate…you were afraid to make any more decisions of that magnitude. You did promise Jake you’d talk to someone from the university to get options and you would, but you weren’t sure you were quite ready to actually pursue the degree yet. You DID need to find a daycare though for Gracie. You knew it would be good for Gracie to have other kids to play with the few days a week you’d be working.

You had just left the Hard Deck and were heading to your car when Bradley called.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He said. You could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m finishing up here then I’ll be over to get you. Jake talk to you?”

“Yup.” You laughed. “He told me he’s having a sleepover with Gracie and Nix and no mommies allowed because then they can’t stay up late, sleep in forts and watch movies.”

“Sounds about right.” He chuckled, “Mommies are definitely allowed at my sleepover. We can build our own fort, Sweetheart.”

“I think I like sleepovers with you.” You replied, “Gracie requested a visit from Daddy Rooster.”

“I REALLY love that title,” He rasped, his voice full of emotion, “I absolutely need to see my girl tonight.”

“Jake approves of the title too.” You informed him. “I promised her we’d stop.”

“I’m walking out of here in 10 minutes tops so I’ll be there in about 20.” He said, “Do you want me to pick up take out and we eat at my place or go out somewhere?”

“I like the idea of staying in, actually.” You replied, “You make fort building sound very appealing.”

“I’ll see you soon, Sweetheart.” He laughed, “Drive safe going home.”

“You too.” You replied.

You got home and decided to jump in the shower quickly before changing into a sundress and a pair of sandals. Jake and Nix ended up getting back with Gracie as you were coming out of your room before Bradley made it over.

“Mommy!” Gracie exclaimed, running over to you, arms up for you to lift her up. “We pway at the park! And eat ice cweam!”

“Wow!” You said, “What sounds like so much fun! Were you good for Uncle Jakey and Aunt Nix?”

“Yup!” She nodded her head. “I good!”

“Of course!” Phoenix said, “She was fantastic! We had fun, didn’t we, Sweet girl?”

“Yes! Now we make forts!” She informed you, “Mommy, where Daddy Woosta?”

“He’ll be here soon, Baby girl.” You said kissing her head and setting her down, “He’s so excited to see you.”

“Let’s go get you washed up for dinner, quickly Princess G” Jake said, taking her hand and leaning her back to the bathroom to wash her hands.

“Daddy Rooster?” Phoenix gushed, “That’s absolutely adorable.”

“I KNOW!” You exclaimed, “He turned to a puddle when she said it. She just spontaneously busted out with it.”

“How do you feel about it?” She asked

“I’m completely ok with it.” You replied, “You don’t think it’s too soon do you?”

“Sweetie, I think there is no timetable for these things.” She replied, “If you, as her mom, are ok with it, and Rooster, the person on the receiving end of it, is ok, and Gracie is obviously ok… then I say… Daddy Rooster has a new title.”

“Nat, I am 100% gone for that man.” You confided in her, “I know I should feel guilty since I’m legally married to another but my heart fully belongs to Bradley.”

“We all kinda figured that one out already,” She laughed. “But I’m glad to know you’re aware. He feels the same, just so you know. Just promise that you won’t get tied down by timetables or what you think social norms dictate. Do what feels right to you and Bradley and what’s best for Gracie.”

“I promise.” You said.

Bradley arrived not long after. Jake had just finished getting Gracie cleaned up when he came through the front door.

“Daddy Woosta!” She exclaimed, barreling through the living room and straight into Bradley’s arms. He’d dropped down to his knees to be at her level and swooped her up. “I wuv you.”

“Hi Princess.” He said, kissing the top of her head, “I love you too, my girl.”

“You sweep ova wif me?” She asked him sweetly.

“How about we have a sleep over another night, Princess?” He countered, “I hear you have a super fun sleepover with forts planned with Uncle Jake and Aunty Nix tonight.”

“Otay.” She agreed. “And Mommy too?”

“And Mommy too.” He promised.

“Alright, Princess G.” Jake said, “Ready to start our super fun sleepover?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed, then turned to kiss Bradley on the cheek and hug him before wiggling out of his arms and running to say goodbye to you. “Wuv you Mommy! Wuv you Daddy Woosta!”

“Love you too, Baby girl.” You replied, hugging her and kissing her. “Be good for Uncle Jakey and Aunty Nix, and Mommy will see you tomorrow morning.”

“Otay, Mommy.” She said before running over to Phoenix.

“Ready to go, Sweetheart?” Bradley asked, his hand coming up to rest on the small of your back.

“Yup.” You replied, smiling, “Overnight bag packed, as ordered by my dear sweet brother who said no mommies allowed at their super fun sleepover…. I’m all yours, Lieutenant Bradshaw.”

“Well, then it’s a very good thing that mommies are very much allowed at my super fun sleepover tonight.” He winked, grabbing your overnight bag and guiding you out of the front door.

Back at Bradley’s the two of you ate the take out that he’d picked up before picking you up. Afterwards he sent you to change into comfy clothes while he constructed the promised fort in the middle room. You changed out of the dress, putting on the sleep shorts you’d packed, but opting instead to pull on one of Bradley’s well worn Navy t-shirts. You pulled your hair into a messy bun on top of your head before making your way out to the living room.

“That’s some impressive fort building, Lieutenant.” You said, walking into the room. He’d moved around some of the furniture to make room for the fort, using the dining room chairs and couch as the structure to drape the blankets over.

“Wait until you see the inside, Sweetheart.” He said, smiling. “You look really good in my shirt, too.”

“Thanks.” You beamed, “It looked more comfortable than the one I brought with me.”

“You can wear my clothes anytime.” He said. “Come on inside our very own fort.”

You walked around to the opening in the front where he was holding the blanket open for you. You crouched down and crawled inside to find more blankets laid out on the floor with pillows to keep you both comfortable. He’d found and strung up some battery operated fairy lights to give you some light inside the fort as well as a couple of the flameless battery operated candles. He had his laptop opened for you to watch a movie on and a variety of snacks as well.

“Bradley.” You laughed, “How in the hell did you get this all set up in the short time I was changing?”

“I may have had everything already set up and ready to go…” He replied, a blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks. “Jake and I hashed this plan out yesterday. I ran home at lunch instead of actually eating lunch.”

“Bradley!” You admonished, “Please tell me you didn’t fly without proper nutrition? The only thing worse than you eating vending machine food for lunch is you eating no lunch at all!”

“I grabbed a bag of chips and a granola bar.” He shrugged. “I was ok.”

“You will either bring your sexy ass to the house tomorrow on your lunch to get a proper meal or I will make Jake bring me to the base to deliver the lunch to you.” You informed him

“You like my ass, huh Sweetheart?” He asked, smirking at you, settling against the pillows piled up and pulling you down with him. You settled between his legs, resting your back against his chest.

“That’s what you got from that? You laughed, “But for the record, I do like your ass.”

“For the record, I think everything about you is sexy as hell, Sweetheart.” He said, his voice right by your ear, sending shivers down your body. He had changed into gray Navy sweats, and you were discovering how soft they were against your skin as you ran your palms over his legs.

“So what’s the plan for this super fun sleepover tonight?” You asked, tilting your head back to look up at him.

He leaned his head down, connecting his lips to yours, his arms already wrapped around your middle, fingers splayed wide over your torso.

“The plan is to keep you locked in my arms, while we watch a movie and relax in our super cool fort here.” He said, using his face to nudge your head to the side and drop kisses on and nip at your neck, “Hopefully with a little bit of making out with my girl thrown in.”

“I like that plan.” You replied smiling. “Your girl, huh?”

“Baby, Gracie is literally calling me ‘Daddy Rooster’.” He laughed, “We’re gonna have a very sad little girl if you’re not my girl.”

You turned around so that you were facing him, straddling him and wrapping your arms around his neck, your fingers working into his hair at the nape of his neck.

“I am absolutely yours.” You said without hesitation. “Gracie and I are both yours if you want us. I know we still have a few hurdles to jump and definitely come with some baggage, but …”

“Sweetheart, there is nothing I want more.” He said, interrupting you, his lips finding yours, his hands moving to your hips to anchor you to him. His tongue snaked out, licking over your lower lip seaking entrance. You opened, allowing him in, your own tongue moving to meet his, tasting one another. His hands moved over your back before dropping down to the hem of the t-shirt and moving up and under, until his hands connected with your bare skin. You gasp, burying your fingers deeper into his hair, and grinding down onto him as you deepen the kiss.

“Shit, Sweetheart.” He groans as your core rubs against his semi hardened cock. “You feel so fucking good.”

You continue to move against him, knowing you would need to stop, but not ready to lose this feeling just yet. You kiss your way to his neck, tracing over the scars with your tongue, causing a shiver to move over his whole body. He groans deeply, his hands moving over you feverishly, pulling you closer.

“Mmm” You moaned, panting, “Bradley, as much as I desperately want to continue this, we need to hit the breaks.”

“I know.” He agreed, sucking air into his own lungs, using his hands to gently still your movement, giving him a moment to collect himself. “Just need a minute here, Sweetheart.”

“I want the first time we’re together to be when I’m able to freely give every piece of myself to you, without any legalities standing in the way.” You said quietly, “He doesn’t get to taint anything between us.”

“There’s no way he could taint anything we have, Sweetheart” Bradley assured you, pulling you down against him again, “I would happily wait forever for you.”

You both sat together, recovering from the heavy makeout session for several moments before you were once more tucked with your back against his chest, nestled between his legs with his laptop propped up on the coffee table so you could watch a movie together.

The next morning, you made Bradley breakfast and packed him a lunch while he was getting ready for work.

“I could definitely get used to this.” He smiled, walking into the kitchen.

“Something other than cold cereal or frozen waffles for breakfast?” You asked, smiling at him over your shoulder, soaking in the sight of him in his flightsuit.

“Getting to wake up with you, getting ready for work knowing you’re in the same house…” He replied, wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing your neck, just under your ear. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit excited about this amazing breakfast you’ve made.”

“I knew it was the food.” You teased, rolling your eyes. He easily spun you around in his arms and dropped his head down to capture your lips with his own in a heated kiss.

“Now THAT is how I need to start every day.” He said, once you’d both had to pull away to breathe.

“No arguments from me.” You replied, “Let’s get you fed, fly boy. You need to get to work and I’ve got an appointment to check out a daycare for Gracie today.”

“How do you feel about that?” He asked, carrying plates to the table. You joined him at the table, sitting down next to him while you both dug into the omelettes you’d made.

“It’ll only be part time.” You said, “It makes me nervous, but I know she needs to be with kids, and I need to get out and be around adults… work. Eventually, I’ll maybe look at going back for my master’s degree. One step at a time.”

“Do you want me to go with you?” He offered, “I can get one of the others to cover my class this afternoon. I’m sure Mav will be fine with it.”

“You’re perfect and amazing for offering.” You answered, offering a smile, “I’ll be ok though. I’ll actually probably need you more next week at the court hearing if you’re able to get off for that… if you want that is…”

“Sweetheart, that’s already a done deal.” He replied. “I already have the entire week for leave. Mav put it in for me before last Friday and I told him to leave it. There’s no way in hell I’d let you face that alone. I know you’ll have Jake… but you have me now too.”

“Thank you.” You said, relieved to know he’d be there with you.

“You absolutely do not need to thank me for that, Baby.” He replied, leaning over to kiss your forehead, “We’re officially a team.”

After finishing breakfast, Bradley grabbed his flight bag and the two of you headed out to the Bronco. He drove you home on his way to the base, which was not actually on his way to the base at all.

“In hindsight, I should have just met you over her last night.” You laughed, when he parked in the driveway. “You’re going to be so late, Bradley!”

“Worth it.” He replied, leaning over to kiss you, “Give my Princess hugs and kisses for me?”

“I will.” You promised, “If you’re not doing anything tonight, do you want to come over after work for dinner?”

“As long as you’re not sick of met yet.” He teased, “Jake’s probably ready to boot me to the curb.”

“He’s too busy with Nat to even notice.” You laughed, “But he doens’t mind because he just wants Gracie and me to be happy… and we are.”

“Good.” He smiled widely, “Mission accomplished. I’ll see you after work, Sweetheart.”

“Fly safe.” You said, leaning in to kiss him again.

“Always.” He promised.

The visit the daycare went really well. Gracie loved the room and teacher she’d be with and had already made a friend. Jake had gone with and had asked all the pertinent safety questions setting your own mind at ease. You knew that Trent would definitely be spending the foreseeable future in jail but for your own sanity you needed a plan in place. The daycare had strict policies for who was allowed in and out and nobody was allowed to pick up a child that wasn’t on that child’s list.

After going through the center, Jake kept Gracie busy while you filled out the needed paperwork to enroll her.

“Jakey I’m adding you as emergency contact.” You told him, writing down his contact information.

“Add Rooster too.” He replied, flashing a knowing smile.

“Shouldn’t I ask him before I add his name?” You asked. “That seems like basic etiquette.”

“Tulip, she calls him Daddy Rooster, and he’s perfectly fine with it… in fact, he actually loves it.” Jake said, “I highly doubt he’ll be upset about being added as Princess G’s emergency contact. I’d be willing to bet he’d be upset if he WASN’T added.”

“You’re probably right.” You laughed, “Ok, Bradley is being added… but what do you suggest I put down as the relationship?”

“Daddy Woosta?” Gracie asked, “I see him?”

“We’ll go see him after we leave here, Princess.” Jake promised, “You heard the Princess. He’s Daddy Woosta.”

“Jake, I cannot put that on here.” You laughed.

“Put down, Dad.” He said, “It’ll make one less thing to change later. And on the pick up list, you might want to add the whole squad.”

“I am not imposing on them by having them pick up Gracie.” You argued.

Jake pulled out his phone, typing out a text before tucking his phone back into his pocket. You continued to fill out the paperwork, trying to hurry now that you knew you’d be heading to base to see Bradley afterwards.

Jakes phone dinged, then your own phone rang with an incoming FaceTime call. Looking at the caller ID you saw it was Nat. You glared at Jake before quicking answering. As soon as the call went through you saw it wasn’t just Nat. The entire dagger squad, minus Jake was staring back at you, giving you ‘the look’.

“Hi guys…” You said. “How’s your day going?”

“Imposing on us?” Nat asked indignantly.

“There’s a question of even adding us to the pick up list?” Coyote asked, “I’m hurt, Y/N.”

“Sweetheart…” Bradley started.

“Oh you’re already emergency contact, Man.” Jake called, “Only hiccup was she didn’t know what to put for the relationship.”

“I’m good then!” He beamed, “And Daddy Rooster is my title, Sweetheart.”

“Not putting that on the paperwork, Bradley.” you laughed.

“I told her to shorten it.” Jake added.

“Sweetheart, just put down whatever you’re comfortable with.” Bradley said, smiling at you. Phoenix took her phone back from him so you were looking at her.

“Hey, seriously, Y/N.” She said, “Add us all to the pick up list. You never know when you’ll need someone to get her and this way you’re covered. You know we’re all trustworthy… some more than others of course… but we all love that little girl. Now, finish filling out the paperwork and bring her to us…”

“Yes, ma’am.” You replied, laughing. After hanging up, you quickly finished the paperwork. You decided to put down Daddy under the relationship and when you handed the paperwork to the director you explained the situation. She smiled and reassured you that yours wasn’t the first nor the last unconventional family to come through the center and the most important thing was that Gracie was clearly surrounded by people who loved hear dearly.

Confident that you’d made the right choice, you all left, with a list of supplies she’d need for her first day the following week.

You made your way to the base, stopping for lunch on the way so that you can feed Gracie. You knew that once you lef the base she’d need a nap.

“Ready to go see Daddy Rooster, Princess G?” Jake asked, as he was waved through the guard gate on base.

“Yes!” She exclaimed happily from her carseat. “Daddy Woosta! We see Aunty Nix too?”

“We sure will, Sweet girl!” You promised, “Everyone is waiting and so excited to see you!”

Jake drove around to the front of the hangar and parked his truck next to Bradley’s Bronco.

“Mommy!’ Gracie yelled from the backseat, “Dat’s Daddy Woosta’s Bwoo twuck!”

“It is!” You confirmed, “And here he comes now.” Bradley was making his way out of the building, too impatient to wait for you all to come inside. Phoenix, apparently just as impatient, but whether it was to see Gracie or Jake you weren’t entirely sure. You unbuckled your seatbelt and got out of the truck as Bradley got to you.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He said, wrapping arm around your waist and lowering his head to kiss you softly. “I missed you.”

“It’s only been a few hours,” You reasoned, kissing him back, “But I missed you too.”

“Where’s my girl?” He asked, opening the back door to the truck. “There’s my princess!”

“Daddy Woosta!” Gracie exclaimed, squirming in her seat, making grabby hands towards Bradley. He quickly unbuckled her carseat and pulled her out of the truck. She threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He hugged her back, dropping a kiss in her soft curls.

“I missed you, Princess.” Bradley said, pulling back to look at her, “Did you have fun today?”

“I miss you too.” She said, “Yes! I go pway and Mommy and Unco Jakey ask wots of stuffs!”

“We were thorough.” Jake shrugged, smiling when nugged him. “Not just anyone can take care of Princess G.”

“They have tight security protocols in place?” Bradley asked

“Nobody is allowed inside the center that isn’t on the list. There’s a bell with a camera out front you have to ring in unless you have a keycard. If your name isn’t on the list of approved pick up and you don’t have proper ID you aren’t allowed to take the child from the property.” Jake confirmed, “If an attempt is made by a non-approved pick up person, the parents are notified as are the authorities if there is an order of protection in place.”

“Perfect.” Bradley said approvingly, “So our Princess will be nice and safe while she’s not in with us. Did you like the kids and your new classroom, Princess?”

“Yes!” She squealed, “I have fwends! Mommy says I go back and pway!”

“Next week you’ll go back and Mommy will go to work.” You said.

“How about this weekend, Mommy and I take you to go buy a backpack perfect for a Princess?” Bradley asked. “You’ll need a backpack to carry all your pretty pictures that you color at daycare home in.”

“Yes!” Gracie agreed, happily.

“Hey!” Coyote yelled through the open door, “The rest of the squad and Mav are wondering why you’re keeping our little Gracie Nugget out here and not sharing her? It’s rude.”

“He’s right.” Phoenix agreed, reaching over to take Gracie from Bradley. “It is rude. Come on, Sweetie, let’s go play with the rest of the squad. They’re more fun.”

Friday night the squad descended on the house for the weekly dinner. While you were normally the one that did the majority of the cooking, this time, they’d all pulled together and organized amongst themselves to pull off the dinner so that you just got to sit back and take it all in. Unfortunately you weren’t very good at doing nothing, so you found yourself full of nervous energy.

“Sweetheart, you running back and forth to refill stuff defeats the purpose of us all taking care of you for a change.” Bradley said gently, reaching for the bowl of cut up fruit in your hand.

“I don’t know if you noticed, but I kinda suck at doing nothing, Bradley.” You sighed, “I also don’t do so well stayin’ out of my head when I’m not busy…”

“Come here,” He said, pulling you into his arms. You wrapped your own around his middle, resting your head against his chest. “I know telling you it’s going to be ok isn’t helpful. The anxiety is real, you’ve been living in this limbo for too long. But I WILL tell you, you are not alone. I am here. Jake is here. The whole team is here.”

“Thank you.” You whispered, “I honestly don’t know what I would do without you, Bradley.”

“Sweetheart, you’re never going to have to find out.” He promised. “I am not going anywhere. I have a strict no return policy, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

“Damnit, Tulip.” Jake teased, coming up behind you, “I told you to read return policies before taking in stray chickens. Now we’re stuck with him”

“You love him and you know it.” Phoenix said, laughing.

“He’s alright.” Jake winked, taking Phoenix’s hand as they walked past into the house.

“He’s an idiot.” You laughed, once they’d gone inside.

“He is.” Bradley agreed, smirking, “But he’s our idiot and we’re stuck with him.”

“We are.” You said, “Wouldn’t want it any other way.”

You spent the weekend getting ready to start your new job at the Hard Deck, which mainly just included making sure Gracie had everything she needed to start daycare. As promised, you and Bradley took Gracie to find the perfect backpack for her. She picked out a Disney Princess backpack (not surprisingly). You let her pick up new toddler panties as she’d done really well with potty training over the last several days. You were hoping it would continue with being at daycare, but you grabbed another pack of pullups just in case.

Sunday Jake and Phoenix one again stole Gracie for the day, taking her to a splash pad and park. Bradley picked you up early and drove you out to a hangar in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere. He got Mav to let him borrow his plane to take you for a ride. It was amazing to be in Bradley’s world, to experience a small part of what he loved.

“That, was AMAZING!” You gushed, once he’d landed and come around to help you down from the plane. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down to connect your lips in a soft kiss. “Thank you for sharing your world with me.”

“Sweetheart, I’ll happily share my entire world with you.” He replied. “I’m glad you enjoyed flying though.”

“I’ve never been in a plane so small before.” You said. “I think I just enjoyed it because I fully trust the Pilot.”

“I’m happy to hear that, Sweetheart,” He laughed, kissing you again. “Ready to head back?”

After securing the plane and locking the hangar up for Mav, Bradley led you to the Bronco, opening the passenger door and helping you in. He made sure to lean over to steal a final kiss before making his way around to the driver’s side.

“How would you feel about us stealing our girl back from Jake and Phoenix and kicking them out for the night?” Bradley asked as you headed back to town from the Hangar. “I think they need a date night. We can spend time with Gracie then once we get her tucked in we can have our own date night in.”

“I love that idea.” You said, smiling over at him. “I really love that you get to take her to her first day of daycare with me tomorrow. I’m going to be an emotional wreck.”

“I’m not sure I won’t be a wreck right along with you, Sweetheart.” He admitted. “Will she go all day?”

“Yeah, she goes Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, while I work.” You said, “I don’t have to be at the bar until 10 though, we’ll have time to recover after dropping her off before I have to go work.”

“I can take you to work and then go take care of some stuff and pick you back up when you’re done.” He offered, “Then we can go get Gracie from daycare after and treat her to ice cream after her first day.”

“Sounds perfect.” You agreed, “Tomorrow night will need to be really low key and an early night. I’m going to be a nervous wreck.”

“Then that’s exactly what we’ll do, Sweetheart.” He said.

When you arrived home, Jake and Phoenix had been happy to take you up on date night, but made it known they would be tagging in for pick up the next day since they’d miss first day drop off. You had a feeling that Gracie’s first day of Kindergarten was going to be whole production.

After lots of extra playtime and Gracie insisting on Daddy Rooster being the one to read her a bedtime story, you had finally gotten her tucked in and off to dreamland. You and Bradley spent the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch watching a movie before heading to bed to fall asleep tucked into one another’s arms.

Monday morning you woke up wrapped in Bradley’s arms, your legs intertwined with his. Not quite ready to leave his embrace, snuggle down further into him, tucking your face back into the crook of his shoulder.

“Morning, Sweetheart.” He chuckled, his voice deep from sleep.

“Five more minutes.” You mumbled into his neck, “I’m too comfy. You’re so warm.”

“No arguments here.” He replied, “The alarm hasn’t gone off yet, so I think we have a few more minutes.”

“I like waking up in your arms.” You said, lifting your head just enough to be heard, “And I sleep better with you… listening to your heartbeat… feeling your warmth, the smell of your body wash mixed with jet fuel…”

“I sleep better with you too, Sweetheart.” He admitted, “And I definitely love waking up with you in my arms. I don’t know if I should be offended by the jet fuel comment thought.”

“NO!” You said, shooting up to look at him, only to see the sparkle of amusement in his eyes. You playfully slapped him and settled back down so you were once more laying on his chest, “You just have a unique scent’s that’s beyond just your body wash and it’s very comforting.”

“You’re cute when you’re riled up.” He laughed. “We should probably get going so we can get our Princess some breakfast and make sure everything is perfect without having to rush.”

“We have to make sure we take picture too.” You reminded him, “Jake made me promise I’d get some since he won’t be home this morning to take them.”

“Let’s rock and roll then, Sweetheart.” He said lifting his head to kiss the top of yours.

The two of you got up and got ready before Bradley headed off to the kitchen to start getting breakfast ready while you went in and got Gracie up.

She was excited to go to her new “school” so she sprung right up and you got her dressed in a pair of cute knit shorts and a Disney Princess t-shirt. She wanted her hair in two pony tails so you pulled her curly hair into two matching pony tails with small purple bows to match her shirt. Once she was dressed you ushered her out to the kitchen to get breakfast.

“There’s my beautiful Princess!” Bradley said when Gracie walked into the kitchen, “Are you hungry baby girl?”

“Yes pwease!” She answered, heading directly to Bradley and lifting her arms up to be picked up. Bradley quickly wiped his hands on the towel and picked her up, covering her face in kisses, causing her to burst into a round of giggles. “Dat tickles Daddy!”

“I had to make sure I gave you lots and lots of kisses to get you through the day!” He explained, “I didn’t want you to run outta power half way through.”

“You siwy!” She laughed, but then leaned forward and placed several kisses on Bradleys face in return. “You have powa now too!”

“Thank you, Princess!” He smiled, “Now I’ll make it all day until I see you again tonight.”

“Alright, my two crazies, time for breakfast.” You said, chucklling at their antics, “We need to get you fed, then Uncle Jakey wants us to take lots of pictures so he can see how pretty and grown up you look heading off to your first day!”

After breakfast you all headed outside to the front porch for pictures you made sure to snap some of just Gracie, then took a few of Gracie with Bradley, he got a few with you and her before finally taking some in selfie mode with all three of you. It may have been a little overkill for just a first day at daycare but it was also the first day of a fresh start of sorts.

Drop off went pretty smooth… as far as Gracie was concerned. She went right in and was excited to play with the kids. You and Bradley managed to hold it together until you were back in the Bronco and then there were a few tears shed.

“We’re going to be absolute wrecks when we take her to kindergarten.” He chuckled, glancing over at you.

“Or when she graduates high school.” You smiled over at him. “Does it seem crazy that we’ve only known one another for a short time but we’re already in so deep… that when I picture the future for Gracie and me, no version of it is without you?”

“Sweetheart, it’s not crazy.” He assure you. “I really believe that when people are meant to be and they find each other time doesn’t matter. We will do this at whatever pace we determine is right.” He turned so that his body was facing you and he took your hands in his own, “And the only future I want is one with you and Gracie. You two are my entire world.”

To keep the emotions from bubbling up you leaned over and connected your lips with his in a gentle kiss. Smiling against him.

“We’re on the same page then.” You said.

You sent several pictures to the group chat while Bradley drove you back home. You got stuff ready for dinner that night before needing to get ready for work. Bradley dropped you off at the Hard Deck, promising to come back as soon as he ran some errands.

Penny showed you the books and the inventory lists on the computer, explaining the system. You spent the afternoon familiarizing yourself with the system and making a list of what was running low and what would be needed sooner rather than later. Bradley arrived a few hours after dropping you off and sat at the bar chatting with Penny until you were ready to head out for the day.

“I think I’ve got a good handle on the current system.” You said coming out to bar area from the back office, “I started a list of what’s running low and can finalize what needs to be ordered on Wednesday when I’m back.”

“Sounds good.” She replied, “So tomorrow morning… what time do you need me there?”

“My lawyer wants to meet before going in, so we need to be at the courthouse at 8.” You replied, “I can’t thank you enough for staying with Gracie, Penny. Just knowing she’s going to be safe and taken care of takes lot off of my shoulders.”

“Sweetie, you do not need to thanke me one bit.” She assured you, “I’m more than happy to spend time with that sweet little girl. You just focus on getting yourself free from that piece of shit and staying strong tomorrow, ok?”

“Ok” You said, smiling. “I can handle that.”

“Perfect.” She said, coming around the bar to wrap you in a hug, “Rooster, take this sweet one home to spend time with her baby and I’ll see you both in the morning.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” He replied wrapping his arm around your waist and guiding you out of the bar.

As per the deal the night before, Jake and Phoenix got to pick up Gracie from daycare and bring her home. They stopped on the way for a slushie to celebrate and to hear all about her first day. When they arrived you had already changed clothes were working in the kitchen on dinner with Bradley.

“Mommy, we home!” Gracie called when they arrived. You could hear Jake prompting her to take off her shoes and little backpack before she came running to the kitchen.

“How was your first day of daycare, Sweet Girl” You asked, wiping your hands of and scooping her up into your arms. “Did you have so much fun?”

“Yes!” She confirmed, “I dwawed, pwayed, and wead books!”

“That sounds like a very full day!” Bradley said, stepping over and kissing her head, “Did you have enough power?”

“Yes!” She laughed, holding her hands out to Bradley, who immediately pulled her into his arms.

“I missed you today, Princess.” He said, giving her snuggles.

“I missed you too, Daddy Woosta.” She replied, hugging him back tightly.

“How did pick up go?” You asked, as Jake and Phoenix walked into the kitchen, “Did they give you any trouble?”

“Nope.” Jake smiled, “They remembered me from last week and I have the card so no issues. They said she had a fantastic day. Already making lots of new friends.”

“Are we surprised?” You asked, laughing, “She’s one hundred percent her uncle when it comes to being an extrovert.”

“We may need to work on the whole ‘stranger danger’ thing with her.” Jake acknowledged, “She’s probably a little too friendly.”

That night you and Bradley both tucked Gracie into bed after reading her a book and going through the nightly routine of bathtime and snuggles with Uncle Jakey while watching one episode of whatever classic cartoon Jake managed to find for that night. He was determined that Gracie would be exposed to all of the great classic cartoons we’d grown up on.

“Sweet dreams, Princess.” Bradley said, leaning down to kiss her forehead, “I love you.”

“I wuv you too, Daddy Woosta.” She replied softly, smiling at him. He stood up and made room for you to move in to sit next to her.

“I love you Sweet Girl.” You said, leaning down to hug her and kiss her, “Sweetest of dreams, Baby.”

“Wuv you, Mommy” She replied, hugging you back.

The next morning you were on autopilot getting ready. Bradley and Jake did their best to make sure you at least tried to eat some breakfast but your anxiety was really high and the thought of food made you want to throw up.

“Tulip, you need to eat something.” Jake said, “Even if it’s just toast. If you don’t, you’ll pass out in court.”

“He’s right, Sweetheart.” Bradley agreed, “Maybe eat a slice of toast and a half of banana.”

“Mommy, you sick?” Gracie asked, concerned, not knowing what was happening but picking up on something being off with her adults.

“No, Sweet Girl.” You reassured her, forcing a small smile, “Mommy just has butterflies in her belly this morning.”

“Mommy, you siwy” She giggled, “You eat my nana?”

“That’s so sweet of you, Baby,” you smiled, “You need to eat your banana so you have energy to play with Penny today. Mommy will get another banana ok?”

Penny arrived not long after and quickly took over with Gracie so that the three of you could get out the door.

Jake sent a text to everyone letting them know you were headin the courthouse so they could plan their arrival accordingly. You didn’t know but they’d all made arrangements to take the day off to there to support you. Mav had put in a word with the higher ups to get it approved.

“It’s going to be OK, Tulip.” Jake said confidently, standing outside of the courthouse. “No matter the outcome of today’s hearing, in the end, it’s all going work out. Keep your head up, we’ve all got you.”

“We’re right here by your side, Sweetheart.” Bradley added, “Not going anywhere, no matter what happens. None of us are.”

“There’s zero chance I’d make it through this without you guys.” You said, your voice shaky with emotion. “Thank you both for being my strength when I’m not so sure I can be strong on my own.”

“Y/N Seresin you are the strongest woman I know.” Jake said, “Even when you don’t believe it. You’d be just fine on your own, but you’ll never have to find out. We love you and we’ll always have your back.”

“Every one of us.” Phoenix said walking over to you. You turned to see the entire Squadron and Mav waking up. Overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from your new found family you turned into Bradley’s embrace and burst into tears. Knowing the reason behind the tears, Jake added his support hugging you from behind, sandwhiching you in the middle of himself and Bradley. The rest of team formed a huddle, essentially forming one giant group hug.

“I can add this to the list of unexpected experiences.” Jake joked, trying to ease your anxiety. “Glad I showered this morning.”

You let you a laugh, muffled by Bradley’s chest. The squad started to separate allowing you to take a step back and look at everyone.

“Y’all are the best.” You said, “Obviously I can’t even put into words how much this means to me that you’re all here.”

“Nowhere we’d rather be.” Phoenix said smiling, slipping her hand into Jake’s.

“And that’s saying a lot coming from a bunch of aviators who’d always rather be in the air than on the ground.” Coyote added. “But you don’t mess with one of our own without getting all of us.”

“We should get inside, Ms. Kennedy wants meet with Tulip before going in.” Jake said, ushering everyone toward the entrance.

Bradley took your hand walking along side you into the building. Once inside you all had to go through security and then were directed toward the correct courtroom. Lauren was waiting outside when you all got there.

“Good morning, Y/N.” Lauren greeted, smiling,“Looks like you have your whole support system in attendance today.”

“Yes, ma’am.” You smiled back, “My family has expanded over the last month. I’m very lucky to have them all in my corner.”

“You can never have too many in your corner.” She said, “If you want to come on into the conference room with me, we can go over what to expect today.”

“We’ll go in and get seated, Y/N.” Mav said, “Keep your chin up, Kid. You’ve got this.”

“Thank you, Mav.” You replied, smiling at him, then you turned to Lauren, “Can Jake and Bradley come in with us?”

“Absoultely.” She replied, leading the way into the conference room a few doors down from the courtroom you’d be in shortly. “Jake, I’ve met, Bradley, you I’ve only heard about. You were there both times Trent showed up and broke the court order?”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Bradley replied, “It’s nice to meet you. Thank you for everything you’re doing for Y/N and Gracie.”

“It’s absolutely my pleasure.” She replied, “I’m glad Y/N has such an amazing support team. I take it, you’ve take my advice then and have started living again, Y/N?”

“Yes.” You replied, looking over at Bradley and smiling. “We were actually coming back from our first date when Trent showed up the first time. Things have progressed since then.”

“Good. You look happy,” She observed, “You deserve to be happy. How’s Gracie doing, she’s pretty little, so I’m guessing she’s pretty resilient and not aware of everything going on around her.”

“She’s great.” You beamed, “She picks up on when emotions are running high. She knew something was wrong when Trent showed up and Nat sent her out to get Jake and Bradley. But she’s a happy little girl that makes friends wherever she goes.”

“She’s already claimed Bradley as her own.” Jake added, winking at you. “She’s got the whole squadron wrapped around her little Princess finger.”

“She owns me.” Bradley admitted, chuckling. Looking at you, smiling he added, “Her momma does too.”

“Alright, that’s exactly what I love to hear.” Lauren said, smiling at the three of you. “Let’s make sure when we leave here today we have all the loose ends tied up to allow you to move foreward with your new family, Y/N.”

“Is that a possibility?” You asked, afraid to get your hopes up. “I figured Trent would do something to drag it all out somehow.”

“In this case, his actions have tied his hands. Literally and figuratively.” She said. “He’s established that he’s verbally abusive and left marks on you while trying to forceuflly remove you from your residence against your will. You’re not asking for anything other than what you left Texas with. You’ve got the order of protection that was violated twice… Sweetie, the odds are in your favor that the judge will happily grant you the divorce today. In terms of disolving Trent’s parental rights, again we can establish he’s a danger to Gracie’s wellbeing, we can establish a lack of involvement prior to the request based on the texts we saved, and he was planning on removing her from your residence along with you against your will. He will be doing jail time for the second violation of the order of protection and we can use that to our advantage as well. It at least gets you full custody with zero visitation from him.”

“I don’t want him being anything to my little girl.” You said. “I know I can’t erase her DNA, but I need to erase him from her life on paper… please help me do that.”

“I will be pushing for that, Y/N.” Lauren assured you. “Is there another reason you’d need Trent to sign away his rights or to have them removed?”

“So that I can give Gracie the daddy she deserves.” You whispered, “The daddy she loves and who loves her.”

“Sweetheart.” Bradley said, taking your hand and turning you to face him, “It doesn’t matter what a piece of paper says or what DNA says, or even what her last name is. That little Princess is already my baby girl and will be my baby girl forever.”

“He’s right, Tulip.” Jake added softly, “She’s already claimed him as her Daddy Woosta. She doesn’t care if it’s not official in the courts. To her it’s already real. And he’s ‘daddy’ on the emergency contact list at daycare so I’d say that’s official.”

“I’d say that’s about all that matters too.” Lauren said, “The rest is just the icing on the cake. I’ll do my best to make sure that cake has icing when you’re ready to add it. Sound like a plan?”

“Yes. Thank you.” You replied, wiping tears from your eyes. “He won’t be physically allowed in the courtroom today, right? Just his lawyer can appear?”

“Correct.” Lauren said, “Due to him being currently incarcerated pending his court appearance and due to the order of protection.”

“Ok.” You replied, taking a deep breath. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“Alright. The judge is due into court in about fifteen minutes so let’s go in and get seated until your case is called.” Lauren said, “I believe yours is the first one on the docket for the day.”

The three of you walked back down to the courtroom where the others had already gone in and found seats close to them but where you were directed to sit by the court deputy. You tried to keep from bouncing out of the chair with nervous energy. Jake ended up holding one of your hands and Bradley holding the other in order to prevent you from twisting them into knots.

“Breathe, Sweetheart.” Bradley whispered, “It’ll all be over soon.”

Jake squeezed the hand he was holding three times to let you know he loved you, you squeezed back, looking over with a small smile.

“All rise for the Honorable Judge Edwards” The deputy called out. Everyone stood while the judge walked into the courtroom from his chambers and took his spot.

“You may be seated” He said.

The deputy called the first court of the day, your case. Lauren stood up and addressed the Judge going over what was requested and a little bit of the history. He took a moment to review the files in front of him, asking her clarifying questions here and there. The entire time you sat there, feeling as though you would throw up from the nerves. You regretted eating the banana and toast that morning, and prayed it didn’t make a reappearence in the courtroom.

“After reviewing everything Ms. Kennedy has provided as well as the countersuits provided by Mr. Andrews on behalf of his client, and taking into consideration the two violations of the order of protection put into place not even a month ago,” Judge Edwards said, “It’s really a no brainer here on dissolving this marriage. Mr. Andrews, you can relay to your client that even though it wasn’t requested, I am ordering that all assets be split equally between parties. I cannot in good conscience allow this young woman who has already been through the wringer, to walk away with nothing, especially when there is a child involved. I’m assuming young lady, and correct me if I am wrong, but I believe I saw an added note for a request for name change in this paperwork, so is ok if I address you as Ms. Seresin?”

“Yes, You Honor.” You said, standing up next to Lauren when she held her hand out to you and smiled.

“Ms. Seresin.” He continued, “I am happy to push that name change through for you as well here today, I’m sure you remember how much work is involved in changing your name, but I don’t blame you one bit. As for the custody and parental rights of the your child. I would love to settle that for you today, but that is not within my power to do so. I will be referring you to a family court and will personally put a rush on that, there are a few judges over there that owe me favors. Mr. Owens, you would be wise to advise your client it would be in his best interests to think about coming to an agreement ahead of the next court date. Is there anything else I can do for you today, Ms. Seresin?”

“No, Sir.” You replied, your voice shaking with emotion. “Thank you so much for everything you’ve already done, Your Honor.”

“You’re very welcome.” He replied, “You are a free woman, Ms. Seresin. Ms. Kennedy, file this at the clerk’s desk on your way out, they’ll get it expedited for you.”

“Thank you, Your Honor.” She replied. She turned towards you and motioned for you all to head towards the exit.

Once you were out of the courtroom you collapsed into Bradley’s arms, overcome with the mixed emotions. You were elated to finally be freed from Trent, but devastated that you hadne’t yet freed your little girl. Bradley held you tightly to him, supporting you against him, letting you breathe and reign in the tears.

“It’s all Ok, Sweetheart.” he whispered, “Let it out. I’ve got you.”

“We’re halfway there, Tulip.” Jake said, rubbing your back, “We had to get you out in order to get Princess G out, Ok?”

“They’re right, Sweetie.” Lauren said gently, “This is good. Judge Edwards was our best case scenario today. I’ve known him for years. He was actually the judge that got me out of my marriage. I knew we had this in the bag when I saw the docket. His friends in the family court will be the same way. It’s no longer a matter of ‘If”, Y/N. It’s now just ‘when’.”

“So what happens now?” You asked, finding your voice.

“Now…” She said, smiling, “I go get copies of these papers, and then I file them with the clerk. These papers mean you, Y/N, are no longer married to Trent. They mean your legal last name is once more Seresin… meaning a very long wait at the DMV and Social Security office… and they mean you get to 100% take back your life. I will get the custody and parental rights forms refiled with Judge Edwards signatures so they’re rushed. I’ll call you when I hear anything, ok?”

“Thank you.” You choked out past the trears once more clogging your throat, “Thank you so much for everything.”

“You’re so welcome, Sweetie.” She replied, hugging you. “Let’s get your copies so you can go celebrate with your family.”

Once outside of the courthouse, you stopped and took a deep breath, tipping your head back to let the sun wash over your face, the warmth of it washing away all of the worries, the anxiety, the unhappiness. You were finally free of Trent. You were Y/N Seresin again.

“I’d say this calls for a celebration.” Mav said. “Since we’ve got the day off, let’s head to the beach. I’ll get pizzas and coolers of drinks and everyone can let off some steam.”

“Sounds good to me!” Fanboy agreed.

“I’m in!” Bob said.

“Dogfight Football!” Coyote cheered.

“What do you think, Tulip?” Jake asked, “Beach day with the fam? Gracie can nap there under the umbrella when she’s sleepy.”

“I think it sounds perfect.” You agreed, smiling at them all. Jake and Phoenix walked ahead with the others, everyone discussing plans for the impromptu beach day.

“You Ok, Sweetheart?” Bradley asked, slipping his hand into yours, entwining your fingers together as you slowly started to walk to the truck.

You paused walking, pulling Bradley to a stop with you. He looked down at you with a look of concern until he saw you smiling up at him.

“I’m not married.” You said, letting go of his hand so you could wrap your arms around his neck.

“No you’re not.” He agreed, smiling down at you, his own arms wrapping around your waist.

“I’m 100% free to date and give my heart to whomever I want.” You said, your smile growning.

“You are.” He agreed, his own smile growing with your words.

“I was waiting for this moment.” You said, taking a deep breath, your eyes getting lost in his own, “I love you Bradley Bradshaw, so, so much. I have since the first night you stayed over… maybe even before that… and it scared me at first but only because I thought I was stuck and you deserved someone who could love you freely without all of the baggage… but I AM free… so you’re stuck with me now, no returns and all that…”

He stopped your babbling, leaning down and capturing your lips with his own, pouring all of the love he’s felt but hasn’t said out loud into the kiss. His tongue licked over your lips seeking entrance, which you granted, your own tongue dancing over his, as the kiss deepened.

“I love you too, Y/N Seresin.” He rasped, when the need for oxygen drew the two of you apart. “I love you so damn much. No returns. No givebacks. It’s for keeps.”

“Let’s go get our girl and go to the beach.” You said, stealing another kiss. “It’s time to celebrate our fresh start.”

“Let’s get our girl.” He agreed.

A/N: I am SO sorry for the wait on that one! I promise there is more to come! There are TWO more planned chapters this story, so stay tuned!!! What are your thoughts on this one???

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#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun fanfiction #Miles Teller #big brother Jake Seresin #Jake hangman seresin #starting over

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if-lost-please-return-to-maliksi · 6 months

Text

ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES - PT.2 (FLUFF VER)

Disclaimer: I do not own Maliksi, or Makisig (the Tamawo bros). Full Credit goes to HC - @ask-emilz-de-philz. Please check out their blog for amazing art and the wonderful world of Planet Puto.. All involved characters are adults. This might or might not be a self insert, please don't come for me.

A/N: I've decided to give in and give Maliksi and u guys some comfort hehe~ So my Rough around the Edges series will have 2 versions. The angst version (the earlier versions), and fluff version. Go ahead and pick your poison guys.

Part 1 here. Updated MASTERLIST.

((headcanon ko na Maliksi's voice sounds like Tsukishima Kei's from Haikyuu. salty and sarcastic kings))

You lay restless on your bed, staring at the ceiling with your mind wandering off elsewhere. In a few hours, that door will swing open and Makisig will come in to help you go back to the human world.

Makisig already explained the necessary steps and how the process will be safe and painless, and that you won't have a single memory or recollection of being in the Lost City and of them- both him, and his younger brother....Maliksi.

You have secretly hoped to atleast properly say goodbye to Maliksi, yet he's still locked up in his room for the past two hours, sulking like a toddler denied of a trip to the ice cream shop.

That is why you almost fell down your bed in surprise when the door violently swung open, revealing Maliksi whose face is all scrunched up in annoyance, brows furrowed, his expression clearly a frown.

You softly chuckled before sitting up at the edge of your bed. "Came to say goodbye? You know I can list down the kutsinta recipe so you can make it even when I'm gone."

"Shut up! It's not like it's the best kutsinta ever!"

It definitely is.

"C'mon! I saw you stuffing your face with 3 kutsintas at the same time the other day." You burst out giggling at the memory of Maliksi, devouring kutsinta, not knowing you and his kuya Makisig can see him with his round cheeks, eating like a man who's served a hot meal after being starved for days.

"Psh. That's not true!" Maliksi denied it while rolling his eyes.

There was dead silence between the two of you for a few minutes before he speaks.

"Would you mind if I'll be the one to send you off instead of Kuya?" He softly said, his voice not any louder than whisper yet his tone sounded genuine- caring, even.

You smiled before you shook your head. "I wouldn't mind."

Maliksi slowly walked towards you before sitting beside you on the edge of the bed. You can feel your cheeks slowly heating up from how close you are sitting with him.

For the duration of your stay at the Lost City, there are only very few instances that Maliksi allowed himself to be this close with anyone. Infact, the only thing you can remember is that time when you got lost while taking a stroll around Biringan.

"C'mon, stop crying. I found you."

His words still rang through your mind. The way he tried holding in his chuckles as he helped wipe away your tears with the sleeves of his shirt.

Those words.

Those damned words.

Those were your last straw before you were able to get it through your thick skull that you were indeed falling in love for him. You smiled bitterly knowing that you'll be forgetting about all of it soon.

You'll forget about his golden eyes that he probably rolls way too many time each day whenever he hears something stupid, yet it's the same eyes that lights up whenever he sees his beloved kuya,

You'll forget about that voice of his that usually spouts sarcastic clapbacks which gets him into fights most of the time with the other binibinis.

And that cute mole on his cheek. Hell, you badly wanted to touch it yet you knew it will be one weird request before going back to the human world so you bit your tongue in an attempt to not mention it.

"So, Kuya already told you the process, right-"

"He told me that it's simple and that it won't hurt and I wouldn't...remember a thing." You replied as you tilted your head in confusion. "Wait...Isn't it just you waving a finger and poof! I'm magically back at the human world?"

Maliksi raised his brow before looking at you in disbelief. "Y/N. I'm a tamawo, not a wizard."

"Oh. How do you guys do it then?"

"I have to kiss you. On the lips. For atleast 15 seconds."

Kiss? Did you just heard him right? A kiss on the lips?! For 15 freakin' seconds.

"You're not joking right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" He grumbled in his usual mocking tone.

Maliksi sighed before slowly inching his face closer into yours while looking into your eyes. "You can still change your mind and just stay."

Stay?

Stay and live your life swallowing your growing feelings for him because you knew it was something he is just not made for. You can feel that same numbing ache in your chest, knowing your feelings will be better off erased and forgotten.

Isn't that just sad?

"I can't, Maliksi."

Maliksi took a few seconds examining your face as he nods. His expression and gaze softens while his hands gently reached out to brush your hair away and tuck some loose strands behind your ear.

"Then I guess this is it, huh?"

"This is it." You swallowed the lump on your throat as you smiled. "It was lovely meeting you, Maliksi."

"Likewise, Y/n. Now- please close your eyes for me, pretty."

You sighed at his words. Damn. He is cruel. He's really torturing you at this point, suddenly sounding all sweet and gentle at this moment when you're about to leave. He even sounded like his Kuya when he's being a proper tamawo and giving attention to the binibinis.

You gave him a small smile for one last time before closing your eyes.

Maliksi cupped your cheek before leaning in to kiss you slowly and tenderly.

One

Two

Three

It was perfect.

You can feel your heart wanting to burst out of your chest as you can't help but move your lips against his, slowly enjoying the bittersweet moment.

Eleven

Twelve

Thirteen

Maliksi slowly pulled away, pressing his forehead into yours.

"That...was not fifteen seconds." You slowly whispered, your voice a little hoarse, and your breathing a little too ragged for your liking.

"Oh, is it not? My apologies. Suddenly I'm bad at counting." Maliksi said innocently, yet you can clearly hear the soft chuckle he's trying to hold before he leans in to kiss you again.

Your eyes widen and it took you a few seconds to finally kiss him back once again. The kiss started slow before building up to a more needy pace.

This was definitely unexpected but you are not one to complain, not thinking much about it since you already kept the thought that you'll be forgetting about this at the back of your mind. What's the harm in enjoying these final moments with Maliksi, right?

Maliksi smirked as he pulled away before the kiss lasts for fifteen seconds.

"Maliksi!" You grumbled underneath your breath.

"What? That's not 15 seconds? Dang. Maybe I should study my numbers once again."

Before you knew it, his lips were crashing into yours once more, his free hand gently pulling you closer to deepen the kiss.

"Y/n, please stay?"

((I SAY WE DESURV FLUFFFFFF))

Art by: @ask-emilz-de-philz that's their OC, Maliksi the Tamawo. Please support them <3

#philmytcrea #planet puto #planetputo #rp tamawo #maliksithetamawo #rp maliksi #writers on tumblr #ianewrites

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glorianamultistan · 5 months

Text

Park Chanyeol x Male Reader

'You are such a fine specimen y/n; no wonder Duke never turned over to look at us even when we flaunted ourselves voluptuously.' 'To deny the chance of becoming a consort to the crown for this, hmm, must be some witchcraft.' 'I never really liked visiting you all because of this, you might be the heir to the throne, and you might be beautiful, but that doesn't mean anyone would just let their guards down and be with you.'

'Forgetting all the manners are we now?' 'Not really Sohee, I rank as equal as you; you and Suyung both are princesses and I am a prince, I expect nothing but respect for the orders we represent.'

Meeting the princesses was tiring; the constant remarks and counter-attacks had y/n feeling as if he had himself trapped in a pathetic tragicomedy rather than a few days hosting at a castle.

Chanyeol was often out and about leaving y/n with the princesses, and it was getting hard to control his nerves as the days went by. One night, on his routine night visit Chanyeol found y/n sitting on the bed staring at the wall with dried-up tear stains on his cheeks and the yellowish pages of the book he had opened in his lap.

'I don't remember the palace being so ghastly as to push you to the limits.' He went ahead and sat where he regularly did, on the chair beside the dressing mirror, facing the bed.

'I am tired.' 'Your royal highness, I will leave at once if you say so.' He got up and almost left when y/n whispered 'Please, don't.'

Chanyeol turns, shocked, rather bewildered, and caught off guard. This was a new tone he was hearing; he looked over y/n still in bed, looking down at his lap, still as if he was a part of the whole furniture.

Chanyeol went back and made himself comfortable; at least he tried to do so; while y/n put the book at the side table and took a sip out of the glass that had been there for some time now.

'Are you not well? You can skip the gatherings tomorrow and rest; there is no need to over-exert yourself.' 'I am tired.' Y/n repeated, in an even lower voice than before. 'The princesses and their cousins are tiring; at least I had my brother before to accompany me so they were all mostly around him. Now, I am all alone and their remarks never stop. Is this why you brought me here? To leave me all day long to suffer through comments as if I had done something wrong. I never even wanted to marry you. You could have had the heir to the throne here. Why did you do this to me? And why do you never accompany me while I am with them?'

'I...' Chanyeol was at a loss for words; he never thought that the prince would break down in front of him like this. He never really wished for it too. He got up and slowly went to the bed as if approaching a sparrow in the wild; he knelt down on the carpet, near y/n while observing the younger.

'I am sorry. I had no idea that they were going to treat you like this. I thought that since you always visited the palace you all must be good friends. I have to attend the training of the main army heads daily here that is why I am never able to be here. I am sorry. And, I married you because I liked you, I never liked the princesses, I know my ways to procure you were rash, but morality never really worked in favour of love and war did it? I am really, deeply, religiously, devoted to you; if you command me right now, I will behead the princesses, their cousins, and all those who made you cry like this and run away with you to your home and fight if they come for you.' He was already standing with his sword in his hand and that was the moment y/n realised that this man was beyond understanding.

Doing so much harm, on one command of someone, no one should be allowed to wield such powers, yet here, in the middle of the night, in an isolated wing of a palace, y/n sat looking into Chanyeol's eyes directly after weeks, feeling a rush of emotions indescribable.

'You are not a very intelligent person are you, Chanyeol?' A comic relief, his name, uttered by y/n with a smile full of twinkling eyes. Y/n realised later that he called the other by name and looked down again, 'Sit on the bed, then talk, I feel uncomfortable like this.'

Chanyeon went on and sat on the opposite side of the bed looking over y/n with determined eyes, 'I am not joking, I will do it all if you want it and if that will make you leave your gloom behind.' 'You will do no such thing. Hearing such declarations are ghastly enough for me; you should know how much I hate violence.' 'Then what should I do!? Please your royal highness tell me. I will do it, just say it.' Chanyeol was eager and looked more like a big dog waiting for command than a general of the army.

'Take me home.' Y/n whispered looking up to meet Chanyeol's eyes. 'Okay, we can leave for your kingdom right now, I will take you and your luggage can be sent later.' Chanyeol got up and before he could move y/n said 'I - I meant Sandria, not that.' Y/n was trying to avoid the bulging eyes of the general and trying to calm the heat rising in his body. 'What!?' 'I meant take me to Sandria, I miss Lady Park.'

It took a whole awkward minute of silence for y/n to repeat it 'Can we go?' 'Yes!' Chanyeol almost screamed and shocked y/n, again, more happy dog than a general.

So they left, in the night, without their luggage, just the two of them on a single horse. It took them two days and in between Chanyeol stopped at grand inns and was welcomed warmly by the owners, but what surprised y/n was how kind they all were to him, often too kind and reminding him of Lady Park.

They took one room throughout the journey as they were married so to avoid any rumours they had to take such measures, but Chanyeol never slept in the bed; he was always on the sofa, half asleep, half guarding as the threat on the prince was ever looming.

When they reached, Lady Park was not surprised; she got the letter from the palace beforehand; rather she was inquisitive as to why they cut their stay short and why did they not take the train?

'Oh I am sorry Lady Park, I was just uncomfortable at the palace and missed this place so I asked Chanyeol to bring me back, and I never really had the chance to roam the country, outside the manors and abbeys and castles, so I asked him to take the horse, also there was no train available that instant.'

'Oh y/n, please do not worry, I am rather happy that you are back; it gets lonely here without anyone to talk to except the butler and the other servants.'

Chanyeol was shocked again to hear his name from y/n's mouth utter so casually; he did not want to point it out to the other but wanted so bad to ask him to use it more. On his part, he still could not muster up the courage to use y/n's name; it feels — ironically, after doing it all wrong — it feels disrespectful.

'I will go to the room and change up, then I will meet you in the library.' With that y/n was gone.

'Why did you not insist on waiting and taking the train!?' Lady Park asked his son with a bit more hint of anger than he thought he would be facing.

'I did! But he wanted to leave instantly. I had no choice.' 'What did you do now that he left the palace like this to come back?' Before Chanyeol could answer Lady Park led him to the library and motioned him to sit as if starting an official inquiry.

'I? How can I do something in the palace that would make him run away from there? And runaway back to my house? Make it make sense mother.' He should not be acting this sassy to her but he wanted to point out the absurdity of the blame.

'Then what happened? I am sure the palace was more comfortable than here.' 'Well, do not talk to him about it please, he will tell you if he would like you to know, but I guess you are so stuck up with rituals that he would not want to portray a bad image of your future queen to you.'

'What?' 'Yes, he was crying, apparently both the princesses and their cousins always passed remarks and comments about him and other stuff, you know, stuck-up royals. He told me his brother was good at handling them but he was more sensitive to all of this so it hurt him a lot. I asked him to command anything that could be done to make him feel better, and he asked me to bring him back, so on my word, I did, also dearest mum he said he missed you.'

"I cannot believe that such behaviour is sanctioned by our King and Queen. They must be doing it as a jest but if it hurt him so much then it is unacceptable." "Well, you know how they are still pent up about me not marrying anyone of them." "It would have solved so many problems and there would have been no useless war." "Mother, you make it sound like I marrying someone for such reasons will result in a long-lasting relationship." "What about you and the prince then? He married you to end the whole show of gore bloody circus you started! Do you think he is happy here and not half as miserable as you would have been!?"

There was an uncomfortable silence, Ldy Park had such a moment after months, Chanyeol thought she was over it, but all this talk flared her up again.

"Mom, you know..." "What!? You love him!? That!? Please, I am still so ashamed that my son really went out to kidnap someone, that too a prince, at the cost of innocent lives, all the facade which you have created around this seemingly happy, working-out relationship disgusts me to the very core. I am here only for his sake, as I cannot trust you to be with him alone here, otherwise, I would have left for the dower house months ago."

Now, Lady Park was not only angry, she was in tears, all of this built up inside her while the young couple was away. She has been keeping up her smiles around the prince but after getting to know about the incident at the palace and her son's justification for not marrying any one of the princesses, she was not able to control herself.

"Enough, I will have the rest of my life to be blaming you, we mustn't make a fuss over it all when he comes down, at least he should get comfort somewhere."

P.S.:- If you liked it, you can support me by buying me a coffee; link's on my page.

#kpop x male reader #male reader #gay #gaypop #fanfiction #bottom male reader #kpop x male reader smut #exo x male reader #exo #park chanyeol x male reader #chanyeol x male reader #fragments of my mind #kpopidol #kpopgay #kpop fluff #kpop

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kairiscorner · 11 months

Note

Your writings are so great and capturés the captures so well!! I have a request based off from your previous req fandic of Noir x criminal!reader. (I LOVE THAT SO MUCH AA) can you write where the crimimal!reader gets badly injured and Noir takes cares of them, gets mad and scold them for being so reckless then starts to beg them to quit the criminal life cus he wants them to be safe? It can be a hurt/comfort type of thing

HIIII OMG I'M SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT??? and ofc anon babe, i gotchu >:)) imma consider this a part 2 for the noir x criminal reader :DD

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

content warnings! mentions of bleeding, open flesh wounds, mentions of guns and firing of guns, and light cursing up ahead. please don't read any further beyond the cut if you are uncomfortable with these themes ^^

"when is this ever going to be enough for you?"

his voice was stern, though extremely exhausted. he was finishing sewing up the wounds you sustained earlier when he found you. he had a long day fighting crooks, and to top it all off, you were there. you were there, and you got hurt, badly. he knew he didn't need to help you, you knew he could've knocked you out and threw you to the curb to wait for the cops to take care of after a few hours--but he did. he carried you in his arms gently, said sorry when you moaned out in pain as he felt over a flesh wound on your side which was generously given to you by one of your 'allies' as they screwed up shooting a guard and had the bullet ricochet and lodge itself into your side.

you felt dizzy a while ago due to how much blood you were losing, but luckily, peter found you and brought you to a rooftop where hardly anyone frequented and patched you up with a stray med kit he found at a nearby clinic. he was a little scrappy at it, and you had to teach him how to do it since you were used to getting scuffed up on this crappy job. you winced and breathed in sharply through your teeth as he took the bullets out, applied the ointment, and sewed up the open flesh wounds you got. you told him exactly just how painful it was, it was a stinging pain that you wished would go away as you told him to take it easy, but he refused to give you that luxury--a pass on the pain you deserved for thinking you would be able to live a carefree life after trying to continue this life of crime.

"what do i have to do to change your mind?" he asked you after you hurled insults and curse words at him while he patched you up and finished. "change my mind? with what?" you asked a little sarcastically, knowing that peter would get angry like he did last time, which you found... a little attractive. peter sighed as he looked up at you unmasked; he was dashing as always; looking soft and harmless, but you knew he was anything but those things, in reality. "you know what i mean." he said as he got up and looked down at the alley he found you and a few other members of your little ensemble down there, injured. you breathed out a sigh as well as you looked up at his back that was now facing you. "i would if i could, parker. you can say you know how shitty this world is, and yet you don't seem to realize why i do what i do." you said with an ironic chuckle, a chuckle at how depressing your situation had become.

"and you don't seem to realize that i do everything i can to help you." he chimed in as soon as you stopped talking. he turned to face you, no longer having any anger in his eyes, instead pure sympathy and care filled his frame as he brought his shoulders down and faced you like you were no criminal, no evil doer, no sinner--a human, just like him, who struggled to survive. "i'm more than willing... more than willing to wire you money. aunt may's told me to give more than i can receive, and you're always the first person i think of every waking hour. connect the dots, why don't you?" he asked you to do with a cracking voice as he sat down next to you, taking off his glasses to wipe the tears forming in his eyes.

"i'd give you the world, a whole new one, if you wanted." he said as he met your gaze, staring into his own with a look of perplexity and just a tad bit of guilt and shame. he gently took your hand in his own gloved one and sighed. "even if this world hates you for what you've become... i'd protect and love you anyway." he muttered, which made your eyes go wide, and your mind run a mile a minute at what he said. you opened your mouth to speak, but when no words--no sound, no peep, no squeak, no nothing--came out, you closed it again, and found yourself merely staring at him, fazed entirely by those six words he uttered.

"please... don't do this anymore. it kills me every... every time you..." he muttered, unable to continue his thoughts as he took your hands in his own and clenched them, sobbing, begging for you to give up this dangerous life and just... let him in, let him help you.

a/n: gonna end this here, sorry :' )) but i want it to be up to you guys where this goes ^^

tags !! @thecoolerdor @miguelswifey04 @sabcandoit @binibinileonara @k4tsu3 @maxoloqy @luvstarrstruck @connors-cumslurper

#spider noir #spider noir x reader #spider noir x you #spider noir x y/n #atsv #atsv imagines #atsv x reader #atsv x you #atsv x y/n #spiderman across the spiderverse #spiderman across the spiderverse x reader

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joeybaboo20 · 1 year

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DUMPLOAD MORE OF PJO INCORRECT QUOTES: SOLANGELO EDITION

Will: Can I bother you for a second? Nico: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.

Will: Am I going to far? Nico: No, no, no. You went too far about 7 hours ago. Now you’re going to prison.

Nico: Hi, I'm Will's emergency contact. Counter Woman: You're here to pick them up? Nico: I'm here to remove myself as their emergency contact.

Nico: Relationships should be 50/50. Will cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Nico: You’re an idiot. Will: That’s the charm.

Nico: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around? Will: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

Will: Wow, did you hear that voice crack? Nico: That wasn't a voice crack, that was a whole voice meth.

Will: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Nico. Nico: I hate myself. Will: Alright, square up.

Nico: We need a plan to beat them. Will: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food. Nico: Will: Judge me all you want, I get results.

Will: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one. Nico: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

Will: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water? Nico: Because your toast would get soggy!

Nico: You disgust me. Will: eating a kitkat sideways I realize this and don’t care.

Nico: I have issues. Will: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is accept- Nico: With you.

Will: I've connected the two dots. Nico: You didn't connect shit. Will: I've connected them.

Will: You look mentally ill. Nico: I am. Let’s go.

Will: I desire moisture. Nico: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Nico: You use emoji’s like a straight person. Will: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Will: You have your weirdly sincere humility. Nico: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

Will: I think we should kiss. Nico: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want.

Will: Can you keep a secret? Nico: Do you know anything about my life? Will: No, I don't. Good point.

Will: I'm never having a debate with Nico again, they literally started their argument with "Riddle me this."

Will: Don’t you have any dignity, Nico? Nico: Uh, no.

Will: That was so hot, Nico. Nico: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Will: I'm so in love with you.

#pjo #pjo hoo toa #hoo #pjo hoo #toa #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #trials of apollo #incorrect solangelo quotes #percy jackson incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect pjo quotes #incorrect percy jackson #solangelo #will solace #nico pjo #nico di angelo #will pjo

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pauking5 · 7 months

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Addicting Taste Chapter 4

Synopsis: Enishi Yukishiro was on a mission to execute his piece de la resistance. A plan to avenge his beloved sister. Until you showed up. Will you be a part of his downfall or will you try to save him?

Pairing: Enishi Yukishiro x reader oc

Genre: strangers to lovers, sunshine and sunshine protector, comedic relief, slow burn, a lot of fluff, angst

Word count: 8.9k+

A/N: This chapter is full of angst I would say. Enishi's true nature comes out a lot and he vents his frustrations on Miyu. Please don't hate me :') This is only the calm before the storm. Enjoy lovelies.

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Enishi's brain was playing a rerun of today's events as he walked the hallway to his office. The smile that stamped his lips seemed to not want to leave at all after the moment in your room. The way you cuddled up to him made that cold heart of his thaw over. You looked like the smallest creature on earth seeking comfort in the presence of your biggest predator. That’s when it hit him that you weren't afraid of him. And it confused him.

People were always throwing him disapproving looks, calling him heartless and all kinds of insults in just one breath. But they could barely muster the courage to look his way without a chill running down their spine. They were afraid of him and he used that to his advantage every time he needed to. But you were different. He was taken aback by your compassion and warmth. It was something he hasn’t felt since his sister. Tomoe.

He stopped in his tracks in the dark hallway as the thought of her crossed his mind, your favourite painting sitting stark before him. He recalled the day he made it, a heavy weight tightening around his heart at the memory. He painted it after one of his hardest days, when his mind couldn't give him the respite he needed.

He was sitting in his office, plans scattered across the desk, stressed out of his mind. He felt suffocated in this big and empty house, so he furiously left the mansion in search of a way to breathe. Taking to the wooden trail up the hills, he climbed until his feet felt sore and his lungs were gasping for air. The earlier rainfall tore apart at the forest, the same way his mind was destroying everything in its wake.

Reaching the opening in the trees overlooking the village he settled on the ground, dirt sticking to his clothes. He tried to fight his thoughts away, gripping his chest in a plea to push some air inside. He kicked and punched his emotions until he couldn't fight them anymore, letting himself be consumed. Everything suddenly became too much. Feeling, seeing, tasting turned into the hardest tasks.

It felt like death was upon him, knocking on his door with a sick grin. But he couldn't go just yet. He couldn't go in peace until he avenged her. He didn't believe in god but he raised all the prayers he could for anyone to hear him and help. Help him find the way back to the light that left his world.

Just when he thought all resolve was gone to shit, he got a response. Warm rays of sun hit his cold skin, willing him to regain some of his energy. Opening his eyes he sat up from his curled position on the ground and looked ahead. A sunset rose on the horizon, drenching the hills into a vivid green, the valley below dressed in a warm orange. The cold hills appeared to warm up as the sun turned golden in the sky.

As far away as the sun felt, it managed to comfort him. It let him know he was not alone, drying the salty tears falling down his face. That's when he found solace in this place. A place where he could let himself be even just for a while without prying eyes or battle plans clouding his mind. Just breathing, existing and feeling.

He didn't even know how long he was sitting there until the slow fall of night darkened the crests of the hills in a dark shade of blue. The valley was still basking in the warmth of the sun's last rays for the day. The hills looked willing to let the cold and darkness surround them just to see the valley this bright and warm. They would sit and face the chaos of the world just to see the valley full of light. It was like a secret promise of protection until time would end.

He wanted to protect someone like that too, even after failing to do that for his sister. He had all this power with nothing real to use it for and he wanted to give it a shot. He would face the world with all his might if it meant he could feel warmth like this again.

When he got back to the mansion, he scrambled for an empty canvas and pulled up the colours stacked in the desk drawers. He painted the scenery the best he could, pouring out everything he felt onto the canvas before him. He took extra care in capturing the light the right way, desperately flicking the brush to make it as warm as possible. A smile sat on his lips as he hung it in the hallway, making a wish for light to come his way.

You surprised him. It was almost every evening since you came here that he caught you in front of the painting, studying it like a student trying to understand its teacher. He felt exposed every time you traced the lines with your eyes, hoping you wouldn't be able to notice the intense emotions dangling off the canvas. He thought you would scrutinise him like everyone else, calling him a fool for trying to put his heart into something. But you didn't. You liked looking at the painting almost as much as he did making it and that connected you.

That was why he decided to take you up on the trail, trying to open up to you in the only way he could. You were like an open book, letting him fly through your pages anytime he wanted to know more, so naturally he felt compelled to give back a piece of him. Even if it felt small compared to everything you gave him in the short time you've been together.

Sitting there with you looking at the same sunset that brought hope back in his being when the sky came down on him at full force, he felt comforted by entirely something else. Your presence. It felt stronger than the sun's warmth. He couldn't settle the weird nerves crawling up his spine as he looked at you, shining in the sun like some divine being. His mind was going a hundred miles an hour, swarming with all kinds of thoughts. Until one hit him like a train at full speed.

Was the one he was supposed to protect now... you?

This question was enough to mess with his head as he made his way to his office. Sitting down in the chair he let his eyes wander over the maps and plans laying on the desk in a chaotic mess. He wasted precious time getting caught up in feelings that probably weren't even real.

What if you were going to mess up his plans even more than you already have? He did take you in on a weak moment, he had to admit that. It was merely a favor he returned because he was a man of his word. But you were at most a distraction, a fleeting moment meant to catch him off guard, as his mind convinced him.

He wasn't stupid to kick away all his hard work for some strange feeling he had that might have been fabricated by the little conscience he had left. He wanted warmth. He needed it. But what if the warmth you gave him was not genuine? Was it just empty sympathy?

His fist collided with the desk to snap him out of spiraling. What he truly needed was to get his head back in the game and continue with the plan. He was far from ready to take on the man that took away his world.

He was going to train you harder to minimise the time lost on sweet gazes and chaste touches. If you were going to get to the level of everyone else you needed to show him you wanted it. Even if that meant pushing you away and making you hate him.

—————————————————————————

Warm rays of sun tickled your face urging you to wake up. The comfort of the blanket draped over you covered the sweaty smell coming off your clothes. Rolling around in the cozy space of the bed you sighed and stretched your arms above your head. A yawn brought yesterday’s events rushing in leaving you a little confused.

Enishi showed you a side of himself you didn't think could exist under that cold attitude he carried around. He took you on that hike for good reason and you were grateful for it. He seemed so at peace up there on the hill, like the world stopped spinning for a while, letting him feel it through every bone in his body. His cold facade was melting away with the sunset and he looked beautiful. The kind of beautiful you thought was reserved for angels in heaven.

Your mind took you back to the descent down the hill when he held your hand to help you down some of the steep rocks. He was so gentle with you and it made your insides become mush. He could be so soft despite the harsh way he was training you...

"Training! Oh god, I'm so late," you screeched as you jumped out of bed. You washed up at lightning speed and put on fresh training clothes on autopilot.

"I'm in deep shit. He's going to kill me."

You ran around the hallways the fastest your feet could take you. Passing by the kitchen you quickly downed a glass of water and a banana to give you some energy for at least a few hours. Dashing outside the doors to the terrace, you saw him leaning against a tree. His arms were secured over his broad chest, jaw slightly twitching as he caught sight of you slowly approaching.

He pushed off the tree not sparring one look at you, shoulders rolled back in a defensive manner. Was something wrong?

Coming closer he leaned down and threw something at you. Catching the foreign item you noticed it was a bo staff. A long red oak stick sitting heavy on your hands as you balanced it around to get a feel for it. You knew its agility was an advantage in a fight, easily becoming an extension of its owner's energy if used correctly.

"We're sparring today," he said as he got his own staff off the ground.

"Sparring? I don't even know how to use this-" you were cut off as a hit came your way, catching you unprepared, shielding yourself just before it could smash into your side.

Okay... Did someone pee in his tea today?

Sparring was difficult considering you were defending against a martial arts connoisseur. Every time you defended a hit on your left, your right side was left uncovered, earning you a smack from his staff. You had no idea what you were doing but kept going, thrusting your staff around with no actual direction of where you wanted your swings to go. You got excited whenever you managed to send a strong hit down on him only to get caught off guard when he would catch it, shoving you back double the force.

"You can't defend yourself," he huffed pointing out the obvious.

"No shit, Sherlock."

He continued the attack, every blow coming in faster and stronger than the last. He even started combining aerial moves with the swings of the staff for extra force. If you couldn't defend the hits before you definitely couldn't keep up now.

He almost got your head off your shoulders in a horizontal swipe of his staff, but you managed to slide down to the ground before it could happen. You jumped back a few meters away from him to catch your breath. He was being too aggressive in his training today. Did I do something to upset him?

"Is this about me being late?" you said, trying to will some air back into your lungs. Getting no response from him you looked over to where he was standing.

There was something weird about his energy today. He had that storm catching speed behind his irises again, knuckles turning white from the iron grip he had on the bo. He looked ready to plunge that stick through you if you weren't threading carefully around him.

As dangerous and wild as he appeared you saw straight through him. He was being this rough on purpose, trying to push you to your limit in hopes your instincts would kick in.

Before you knew it he charged at you again and your weapons collided with a loud crack. The force with which he came at you pushed you backwards, making it difficult to keep the hold on your staff. Willing the wobbling muscles in your arms to keep going you tried to match his pace, fighting his raw strength the more he forced his staff down on yours. You tried so hard to find a way out of his attack that you didn't even realise your back hit the tree trunk behind you.

This wasn't training anymore. He looked like he actually wanted to kill you. The more he pressed down on his staff the more yours cracked down the middle, sending little ripples down the upper and lower parts. One last push of his bulky arms made your staff cave in and break in half, leaving you defenseless. Enishi's staff continued to press down on your neck as you tried to push it away with the little energy you had left.

"Stop!" you yelled, but he didn't seem to hear you. He was far too lost inside his mind to come back to the real world, eyes roaring as they bore into yours. You were nothing but prey to him.

"Enishi, snap out of it!"

At the sound of your broken voice he froze. His pupils decreased back to a normal size and his breathing evened, the hold on his staff going limp. Shaking his head he looked at you, lowering the weapon away from your throat. You bent over to catch your breath, leaning your trembling hands on your knees to support you. By the time you straightened back up he was already gone, his staff discarded by the broken remains of yours.

What the fuck just happened?

—————————————————————————

He acted even weirder the next few days, leaving you to train by yourself most of the time. You took the time to get a better form on your bo staff, practicing your hits on wooden dummies you found laying around. Practicing by yourself gave you a chance to enhance your skills, making your hits gain power and improving your balance.

You tried to focus but your mind was elsewhere, a certain mophead occupying it. You could tell he was stressed by something from the way his personality did a 360 spin towards asshole land out of nowhere. You hated the way he shut you out.

The door to his office was locked tight every time you passed by. You wanted to ask him what was going on, see what you could do to help, but every time your hand lifted to knock on it you froze and laid your palm flat on the door. With a heavy sigh you would trudge back to your room and sit awake, hoping he would come out sooner or later.

He finally showed up for training one morning, glasses sitting idly on the bridge of his nose trying to cover the dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hasn't slept in days. His eyes were looking at a spot next to you, darting everywhere but into yours.

A few sets of knives were set out on a table a few feet away from what looked like a bullseye target. Walking towards the table you recognised the weapon: the kunai. A sleek 30 cm blade with a round handle, easy to hide and deadly in close combat. He probably assumed mastering the kunai should be easily at the same level with your shooting abilities, which was debatable.

He stood over on the side and watched as you analysed the weapons. Weighing one of the double sets in your hand you noticed they were the same as your twin pistols, just a little on the lighter side. You didn't wait for his directions as you positioned one in your hand. Visualising where you wanted it to hit the target like a bullet, you swung your arm backwards, angled it and threw it towards the target.

Anticipation built up in you as you watched it twist for its destination. Maybe you found something else you were good at. Your optimism was quickly destroyed as the knife fell three circles away from the center of the target, jaw dropping in confusion. My aim couldn't be this bad, right?

Picking up another one from the pile on the table, you went for a different arm technique. Swinging the knife from the other side of your body with a lot more force from your torso than your previous throw, you watched as it barely got stuck in the outer layer of the bullseye.

What is this fuckery? Has my aim gotten this shitty?

You took more of the kunai and tried again, desperately trying to hit the red spot in the middle. Each time you threw a knife it barreled through the air rapidly only to avoid getting stuck anywhere in the damn target. You were seeing red, frustration gripping you the more you tried. There was no way you couldn't control any other weapon besides your guns. You had to get the hang of at least one but it felt impossible.

An idea popped into Enishi's head and he made his way to the target. He positioned himself in front of it arms wrapped securely around his torso. You tilted your head at him, confusion swimming in your brain. What was he doing?

"Throw the knives."

His tone sounded so casual as if he asked you to make him tea, not to decorate him like a Christmas tree with combat knives.

"What? You mean throw them at you?"

He nodded showing you he was hellbent on this incredibly stupid idea. You shook your head in refusal, but he wasn't going to budge from that spot until you did what he instructed.

"What if I stab you or something by accident? This is stupid."

"Just throw the knives," he said, sharp glare piercing you, making chills run down your spine.

You took one of the few available kunai left on the table and turned towards him. Taking a few deep breaths to calm your nerves you considered the few possible outcomes. If you were successful you would live to tell the tale. If you weren't cautious you could injure or worse, stab him somewhere vital by mistake. All these scenarios clouded your mind, making your hands shake slightly.

I can't do this. I can’t have blood on my hands again.

"We don't have all day."

That was enough to push your buttons, rage slowly flooding your veins. He was acting like a dick to you while you were working your hardest. He didn't show up to your training for countless days and he was the one throwing a tantrum.

Getting into a throwing stance, you lifted up the knife and pushed it forwards with as much force as you could muster. Watching as it left the safety of your palm and headed straight for Enishi, all your reason fell apart. The earlier anger was replaced by horror as you watched it closing in on him. You were praying he would get out of the way before it was too late. But he didn't move an inch.

Closing your eyes to avoid witnessing a possible crime of your own doing, you listened for the impact. When no sound came from the other side you opened your eyes to see Enishi holding the kunai with his bare hand, a hairsbreadth off his face. Releasing the breath you were holding you struggled to contain your rage. What if he didn’t catch it in time? What if his face was now a bloody mess? He could have gotten seriously injured and all I could do was sit and watch.

His face sported that sick grin of his and you couldn't hold back your tongue anymore.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" you gritted out, trying to get your shaky hands under control.

"What?"

"What?! I could have injured or worse, killed you!"

"But you didn't," he chuckled. "And frankly, I don't think you would be able to do that."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought giving you a real target would help with your limitations. But as it turns out, you can't even aim properly at anything. How did you even learn how to shoot with an aim this shitty?"

"Why are you suddenly being a dick?"

"I'm just telling you the truth. You can't keep hiding behind Barairo just because you're scared," he spat out as he walked closer to you. "It makes you look like a coward."

"I'm not listening to this shit,” you say turning away from him to make your way inside. You couldn’t be in the same space as him right now without strangling him. Before you could get far his hand latched onto yours spinning you around to face him.

“Running away already?” he taunted, adding to your irritation.

“No. I’m done listening to your bullshit,” you say shoving his arm off of you roughly, his eyes widening at your outburst.

“You think I haven’t tried? I’ve been trying my hardest ever since you agreed to train me. I’ve done everything in my power to become better at shit I’ve never done before. Because you told me I could make the worst parts of me become the best," you said, voice slightly breaking.

"The least you could do is show me some respect as your student, the same way I show it to you as my teacher instead of treating me like I'm nothing,” you spat and turned around, leaving him in the middle of the garden.

Tears threatened to spill on your cheeks and you couldn’t let him see you like that. He didn’t deserve your tears. You ran inside your room and locked the door, angrily throwing your shoes around the room. Sitting down on the floor in front of your bed you brought your knees up to your chest. Your mind started spiraling out of control again.

What if he’s right? What if I’m hiding behind who I used to be like a coward? What if I really can’t get better at anything?

You couldn’t stop the tears cascading down your cheeks in currents. You were angry with yourself and the aching in your muscles from the endless training made it all too much. Violent sobs wracked you as you let out the built up frustration from the last few days.

You hated him. He took your trust and stepped on it like it was a bug crawling on the floor. He crossed you once again, just like the night he left you to fend for yourself and you felt like a fool for thinking he wanted to help you. You were nothing but a pawn in whatever scheme he was playing, easily discarded whenever he wanted to.

You wished you were back home with your parents, laughing at the trouble you would get yourself into with the maids. To have your mom patch you up as your dad gave you an earful. To feel cared for again.

Mom, dad, I need you. Please come back to me.

—————————————————————————

Enishi was back in his office, barricading himself away from the world. On the way back from the garden he passed by your room and heard your frantic sobs. He wanted to knock on the door and comfort you, begging for you to forgive him. But his pride got the best of him.

I hurt her. She was trying her best and all I did was push her away. I'm a monster.

He got up from his chair and pushed everything on top of his desk to the floor. Leaning his hands on the empty wood he huffed a few breaths trying to steady his racing heart.

I wanted to protect her. To help her come out of hiding and show her that she can become the best . But I broke her trust again.

He threw his chair across the room knocking down a few swords onto the floor. He was losing control again and there was no coming back from it this time.

I hurt her the way I let people hurt me. I promised her I would help and I failed. The same way I failed Tomoe.

—————————————————————————

You cried your eyes out until there was nothing left to cry. The darkness surrounding your room told you it was the late hours of the night. Rain started pouring outside a few hours ago, accompanying the sadness you were feeling.

Cold and quiet. That was how your heart felt right now. It seemed like the mansion mirrored your sorrow, no sound of humanity present in its hallways. The same hollowness walked the walls of your heart.

It felt like the world stopped the minute you let your walls down. You felt numb, sitting in the same position you were in when you locked yourself in the room. You didn’t move an inch, afraid it would do more damage than good.

Your stomach grumbled and you whined in protest. All you wanted was to stay in here, avoiding everything and everyone until the pain would go away. Avoiding him. But your stomach insisted you grab something to eat something before it would shut your system down.

With a huff you pushed yourself off the floor and stood upright. Stretching your body to get rid of the ache in your joints you walked over to the door. Unlocking it, you were surprised to see no one around. There were usually guards around walking the grounds on patrol but it seemed they were dismissed for the night.

You walked to the kitchen and looked in the cupboards for the leftover potato salad you made yesterday. You made a little extra in case he would want to eat some if he would come out of his office. It turned out he didn't even touch it, judging by the foil still wrapped around the pot to conceal its warmth. Sitting on a chair at the kitchen island you unwrapped the pot and dug into it, eating in silence. You watched as the rain fell down the kitchen window in rapid waves and sighed to yourself.

After you were done with the food you went over to the sink to wash it before you headed back to your room. You reached to turn on the on the tap freezing as your eyes focused on the window above the sink. The view of the garden made you panic as you saw a person sprawled on the ground. Your heart was stuck in your throat.

Grabbing the broomstick leaning by the door, you slowly pushed the doors to the terrace open. Your shoes were splashing against the puddles turning the green patio to mushy mud. The crisp air pierced your skin as you advanced towards the figure laying still on the grass.

Looking to your right your heart immediately softened. A drenched Enishi was laying on the ground in a star shape, rain ruthlessly hitting his face. You put the broom away and took slow steps in his direction until you stopped just beside his head.

His hair was sticking to his forehead in a wet mess. His eyebrows were scrunched up and his jaw was tense, looking like he was crying. He’s been laying here for quite a while considering that his clothes looked soaked beyond just a few raindrops. His eyes seemed lost so far away, gazing at the dark sky in search of something.

Crouching down you shook his shoulder, getting no reaction. Your clothes were getting soaked as well uncomfortably sticking to your body. The rain falling through your locks cascaded down on his face. Your warm hand met his icy cheek caressing it gently, action that got him to finally look at you.

“Hey,” you said softly.

He just looked at you. The way he was acting scared you. He looked absolutely broken and you had no idea what could have caused it. You rubbed soothing circles into his cheek and he faintly leaned into your touch.

“Enishi, talk to me.”

He just blinked and turned his head away from you, continuing to stare at the raindrops falling from the sky. You didn’t know why he was acting like this but it looked like it wasn’t the first time it happened.

“I want to help you,” you say hoping he would say something. But he only stayed still as a rock letting mother nature drop her sorrows on him.

Trying to think of what else you could do you did the only thing you could think of. Laying down on the ground in the same position he was in you turned your head to him. Your hand searched for his, locking your fingers between his cold ones once you found it. He turned to you and the look on his face made your grip on his hand tighten. His eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, reddish lines telling you he already shed enough before the rain covered his cheeks.

As mad as you were at him you weren’t going to leave him like this. You knew how bad it felt when you had no one to lean on whenever the world came crashing down. No one deserved to suffer alone.

His hand gripped yours like an anchor keeping him tethered to the real world, helping him find control again. He needed comfort and you were willing to give it to him for the time being.

So you both laid there, letting the rain wash away your hurt, your hands intertwined in a promise. A vow to never let each other hurt in silence like this ever again.

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The rain clouds broke apart a while ago and you were still in the same position on the muddy ground of the garden. He made no move to get up so you did it first, eyes shooting up to you as you were sitting up. He looked at your hands afraid you would let go and he would fall back in the deep relentless ocean in his head. But you didn’t let go.

You moved to get him to sit up with you and he obliged with your actions. Getting to your feet your hand was pulled back by his. He was sitting on the ground his eyes sparkling and a pout on his lips. You thought he looked like a puppy. You pulled on his hand to make him get up but he didn’t budge. Sighing you crouched back down to his height and stroked his hair away from his face.

“Let’s go back inside,” you said softly.

He nodded and slowly got up with you. He waited for you to lead him inside so you did. You took small steps to the kitchen holding the door for him. Walking the long hallway you stopped in front of his room. He shook his head and you were confused. Wasn’t he going to change in his room?

“Where else do you want to go?”

He took the lead and lightly pulled you to your room. Pushing one of the double doors, he returned your earlier gesture and held it open for you.

“I’ll get us some towels,” you said as you made your way to the bathroom only to be stopped by the hand that was still holding yours.

“I’ll be right back,” you reassured him and he hesitantly let go of your hand.

You went over to the bathroom and grabbed every towel you could find. Coming back you found him sitting at the end of your bed, lost in thought again. You placed the pile of towels beside him and picked one up to dry his hair. Placing it on his head you started making your way through his gray locks, untangling them. You worked from the top of his head to the ends on his neck, drying up as much as you could. Before you could swipe the towel over his forehead his hands came up to rest on your wrists. It was only then you realised how close you were standing. He looked at you tilting his head in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, searching his eyes for anything that could hint at even more distress.

“Why are you helping me?” he croaked out, voice smaller than the wind blowing outside.

“Because I know how it feels like," you sighed, "to be alone with the world ripped from under your feet.”

His thumbs moved in circles on your wrist, a silent response to your confession. You took that as a sign to continue drying him up. When you were done with his hair you moved to the rest of his body. His blouse was sticking to him like a wet rag. He noticed your hesitation so he took off his blouse by himself, leaving only his navy tank top on.

“I can go get you some clothes—“

“Just stay here,” he said. His hands got hold of a new towel and his hand guided you to sit down on the bed next to him.

He started drying your hair this time, taking extra care to smoothen out the knots in your hair. He was gently drying it on all sides coming back to your face. He placed a few stray hairs behind your ear before patting down the droplets still running down your face. He pat your forehead stopping when he came up to your eyes. He noticed they were red and puffy just like his and he knew he was the reason for it. He hated himself for hurting you. He never wanted to do that. Setting the towel in his lap he looked down at his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, a tone you haven’t heard from him before. He looked genuinely apologetic as he fidgeted with his fingers in his lap.

You placed a hand on top of his and rubbed your thumb in soothing circles to warm his cold hands. His eyes snapped up at you to see a soft smile forming on your lips.

How you could still smile after everything was beyond him. This must have been your secret power, comforting others when you yourself needed comforting. He realised your compassion and warmth were real and he admired you even more now than he already did.

“It’s okay," you replied. “I’m gonna go change. You sure you don’t want me to bring you some clothes?” He nodded and you made your way to the bathroom.

After you changed, you came out and he was in the same position you left him. You put the rest of the towels away on the vanity and moved to get under the covers. Exhaustion was knocking on your door after the day you had, feeling consumed and drained completely. Setting your head on your pillow and getting comfortable you looked at Enishi. He was still sitting at the end of your bed, clueless as to what to do with himself.

“You can… uhm… come up here. I don’t bite.” He turned his head to see you tucked in bed already. He didn’t mean to bother you any more than he did.

“Are you sure?”

You nodded and patted the place next to you. He got up and crawled his way up to the headboard laying down on his back. You turned on your side to look at him finding him gazing up at the ceiling mind pestering him again.

“You can talk to me. I’m here to listen.”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to settle his nerves. He debated on whether he should tell you what was on his mind or not. What did he have to lose if he told you? The most you could do was push him away and call him a monster like everyone else. Taking a few more deep breaths, he spoke words no one else has heard before.

“Tomoe. That was my sister’s name.” He paused to gather his thoughts and you reached up to hold his hand, letting him know he could take his time. You weren't going to push him away and that made him relax.

“She was killed 13 years ago and I saw it happen. I couldn’t do anything to protect her.”

“I’m so sorry, Enishi,” you said rubbing his knuckles to try and soothe his pain a little. He squeezed your hand in appreciation.

“It’s okay. I’m planning to avenge her and make the one who took her away from me suffer,” he gritted through his teeth as his hand tensed in your hold. You wanted to know more about what happened to her but you knew it would be too much to ask of him right now.

“I left Japan and came here to build my resources and train until I became the best I could be. I dealt and fought until the Shanghai mafia became mine so I could lay the plans in my favour.”

At least now you knew why he was doing all this in the first place and why it meant so much to him. Losing the only family you had is like losing the only thing that made you mean something in this world. It scars you so deep that you can’t move forward without someone else supporting you on the way.

If avenging her was his wish, the last thing to get him moving on, you had to help him. You still didn’t know all the details but you knew enough to want to help him see this through.

“I’ll help you,” you said making him turn his head to you. A yawn made its way out of your mouth and you tried stifling it but failed. He thiught you looked like a lion cub.

“Let’s avenge your sister and find you some peace,” you said sleepily as exhaustion took over you. Your eyes closed and you gave in to the darkness of dreamland. You were going to help him no matter what.

Enishi turned on his side to get a better look at you and saw you were fast asleep. Your hand was still holding his hand and he felt a small smile come to his lips for the first time in a while. He pushed some stray hairs away from your face. He was so grateful to you. You came through just when he needed it the most. Like a miracle he's been waiting on for ao long.

Maybe his wish came true, but only time would be able to tell. What he did know was that he wasn't going to let his mind push you away anymore. He was going to protect you properly from now on.

Lifting up the duvet over the both of you he closed his eyes and let sleep take him, his hand securely holding yours between you.

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You woke up the next day in the late afternoon, the warmth enveloping your hand still ghosting around your fingertips. Creeping your eyes open you shut them closed, a mild headache forming. Your stomach was growling you awake after it digested the last of the food you ate the day prior. You wanted to sleep some more but it just didn't want to let you.

Sitting up in bed you took notice of the smell of something cooking. Sniffing more of the essence floating through the air you realised it smelled like pancakes. You were either hallucinating from hunger or someone was actually making pancakes.

Slipping on shoes and tying a robe around you, you made haste for the kitchen. The aroma got more divine the closer you got and you could already taste the sweetness of the pancakes. Pushing open the doors you saw broad shoulders working busily on the stove, flipping the plump dough in the pan, pressing down with a spatula to get it baked evenly on all sides.

"Good morning," he said, sensing you behind him. He could easily recognise your light steps after the few weeks you've spent together.

"Good morning," you replied walking over to his spot near the stove. Peeking over his shoulder you noticed a plate stacked high with pancakes, red bean paste smoothly spread in the center.

"Are those dorayaki pancakes?" you asked, drool pooling at the side of your lips at the sight of the traditional confectionery. You haven't had those since you left Japan.

"Mhm," he nodded a smirk on his face at your reaction.

"Can I have one?" you asked, eyes twinkling in anticipation.

"No," he said seriousness taking over his face.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO?" you yelled ready to throttle him until he started laughing.

"I'm joking," he chuckled. "You should've seen your face."

"Very funny. So, can I have one?"

"Of course you can. I made them for you after all."

Your heart melted. Dorayaki pancakes required an immense amount of focus in getting the dough right and if you didn't know the recipe properly you could mess it up and they could turn all mushy. He put time and effort into them considering how soft they were. And he made them for you.

He flipped another one on the pan and turned to see why you got so quiet. You had a pout on your face and your eyes were sparkling in the afternoon sun shining through the kitchen window. You looked nothing short of adorable and he had to physically restrain himself from pinching your cheeks. Your stomach growled loudly ruining the moment and he chuckled.

He grabbed the plate full of pancakes and put it on the kitchen island pulling out a chair for you. You sat down and thanked him, grabbing a fork to dig in. The soft dough melted in your mouth and the red bean paste tasted exactly like the street vendors in Japan made it. It was a taste of home away from home.

Enishi waited for your reaction, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding as you sighed happily chewing on a pancake. You looked like you enjoyed the small dessert and that made him happy. He wanted to do something for you to thank you for yesterday and to apologize.

"Is it good?"

"It's ahmazhing," you said with your mouth full making him shake his head.

"Come eat with me," you prodded pulling on the chair next to you. You pushed the plate closer as he sat down so you could share the pancakes. You ate in silence, silently gazing at each other when the other wasn't looking. You both wanted to say something and you both rushed in, accidentally speaking over each other.

"About yesterday," you started.

"I'm sorry about yesterday," he said at the same time.

You both chuckled and went on to argue about who should go first. Finally giving in you let him go first.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. I was a total jerk to you these past few days. I left you to train alone and I pushed you away instead of helping you learn things the right way."

"You forgot the part where you almost decapitated me with a wooden stick and almost killed me. With the same stick," you say trying to rub salt in the wound.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for that too. I got too carried away and I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that."

"What about the part where you made me throw knives at you?"

"Technically that was all you-"

"Don't push it mophead." At the sound of the nickname he let a small smile walk his lips. He didn't know why you kept calling him that but he kind of digs it. He wasn't going to tell you that though.

"Point is, I am sorry and I promise to not do that ever again."

"What you said out there was so way out of line," you say slowing down on the pancake you were chewing. You still felt the punch of his words drifting around your heart.

"I know. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I gave you my word that I'll help you become the best and I intend to do just that."

A comfortable silence sat in the air. His face was covered in regret as the sun's rays tried to reach him. He was trying to make it up to you which was probably way out of his character. Tension was wafting through the air in thick waves, so you decided to make the mood a little lighter.

"Sooooo... are these apologetic pancakes?"

"Only if you want them to be."

"You softie."

"Oh, shut up."

Things felt better between you now. You still needed to talk some things out but for the time being you were back on track. Whatever tried to sway you these past few days was long gone now.

Finishing up the dorayaki, you took the plate to the sink and got started on the dishes. Enishi joined you on the other side, wiping dry the utensils as you put them on the drying rack. Team work made the dream work and you were done cleaning up fairly quickly, the earlier sunset turning to nightfall.

Wiping his hands dry on the cloth his hand attached to your wrist to grab your attention.

“Come with me for a bit,” he said motioning you towards the door. He was leading the way again just like last night, hand gently resting on your wrist.

The office came into view and he pulled you inside. You haven’t been in there for a few days and the place looked pretty beaten up. Enishi left you standing in the middle as he went to pick up maps and papers off the floor next to his desk. You looked around and spotted a few swords laying on the ground, their scabbards on the walls empty.

Kneeling next to them you picked one of them up. The robust wooden hilt was decorated with metal motives ranging from animal details to florals. The blade was heavy on your hand, tilting it on the side to see the light reflect its sharpness. Something about this sword called out to you. A red tassel hung from its end, delicately floating around the sword. Enishi watched you inspect the sword, surprised to see you so keen on learning more about it as you moved it around.

“That’s called a jian. It’s more of a practice sword but it can still be used in combat.”

“What’s with the red tassel?”

“It’s meant to give you a reference point during a fight,” he said taking hold of your hand and placing it on the hilt with his on top. He manoeuvred your body into an attack position, his other palm resting on your hip to direct you.

“The tassel moves with the sword,” he moved your hands together to create a wave with the sword. “It gives you balance as your moves get more pronounced.”

He made a show of a relaxed horizontal line, lifting your hand up to then drag it down vertically. He was supporting most of the weight of the sword as he waved it around, letting you feel the strong pressure of his wrist against the weapon. His other hand guided your hips to move in sync with the swings.

“It can make your moves faster,” he exhaled as he went for a quick diagonal slash causing your bodies to get impossibly closer. You looked up at him to find him already starring down at you. Your hips were pressed firmly to his, both of your breaths quickening the more you stared at each other.

His adam’s apple bobbed down, the trunk of his neck now in your direct view. You didn't realise it was so defined until you stood this close to it. His red robe sat on his nape, covering the extension of his collar bone under it to your disappointment. Taking a nervous gulp you lifted your eyes back to his only to find his looking at you with hunger. The hand on top of the sword went to hold yours lowering the weapon towards the ground. The palm on your hip moved to the small of your back bringing you even closer.

Want suddenly ignited in you as you waited for what could follow, your heart racing. You didn’t care what would happen as long as he would close the distance between you. He seemed to notice the change in mood, the flush painting your cheeks being a dead giveaway of your current thoughts. His signature smirk raised to his lips and he let out a chuckle, earning him a smack on the chest from you. Fucking flirt.

You stepped away from him trying to bring your heartbeat back to normal. The sword was left secure in your hold as you left to look for its sheath. Scanning the scabbards on the wall you couldn’t pinpoint the location of the jian’s casing. Enishi came from behind you and took the sword from you, fingers lightly grazing yours in the process. It was enough to make your stomach flutter again. Why did he have this much of an effect on me?

Spinning around you went to pick up the rest of the swords looking for their sheaths. You found most of them without his help, successfully cleaning up around the office.

Once you were done you went and sat on the couch stretching your arms above your head. You didn’t really want to leave to your room just yet. Enishi took to arranging the maps on his desk folding them around to make some space. You got up and went over to help him sort them out. Putting all the paper away you wiped the desk clean with a cloth and put every gimmick back to its previous spot.

You then took to walking the office rounding up every sword and weapon on the wall. Curiosity got the best of you wondering which one was his. He was definitely a swordsman considering the trained grip he had on the jian a few moments ago.

“Which one is yours?”

Your question caught him a little off guard as he was sorting through his drawers. He walked over to the wall besides his desk and took down a sword. Its blade was longer than a meter, hilt covered in leather strips criss-crossing each other, matching the copper colour of the tassel attached to the end. It had a mix of both Chinese and Japanese elements.

“This is a wato. It’s similar to a katana in its power and to a tachi in terms of agility,” he said giving it a spin with his wrist. He held the handle to you urging you to give it a try.

You took the sword feeling its heavy hilt be entirely balanced by the length of the blade. Despite needing a lot of force to move it around the blade followed the hilt accordingly creating fluid movement.

“You have to combine it with some kind of martial arts to make it work in battle.”

You were taken back to your bo staff lesson a few days ago. The way he was easily moving with the staff whilst blending in aerial moves to push more force into the blows was due to the way he wielded the wato. You thought his fighting style was an art of its own.

“Will you teach me?”

“Sword fighting?” You nodded eagerly as you waited for his response. He seemed deep in thought about it. You were far from ready to use a sword. However, he's seen you train by yourself with the bo staff and you surely got better at it. Your grip seemed to be stronger on it the more you practiced on the dummies. He saw how bad you wanted this and he wanted to give you a chance. But not without making it a challenge.

“I will teach you," he said getting your hopes up. "If you manage to take me down in hand to hand combat at least once,” he continued making your jaw drop.

“Are you crazy? How on earth am I supposed to do that when you’re a literal martial arts god?”

“You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. You’ll find a way," he encouraged you as he took the wato from your hold to place it back in its sheath on the wall.

You sat on it for a while. Would you actually be able to take him? You got better at one weapon but you still lacked the combat skills, but you weren't one to back down from a challenge.

“So, deal?” he extended a hand to you.

Well you know what they say, hope dies last.

“Deal,” you said confidently as you shook his hand.

You didn’t know what you got yourself into but it should be fun. Sword fighting has always been something you wanted to try and this was a better time to learn it than ever. All you had to do was devise a plan to take down the crime lord of Shanghai in a fight. Should be easy right?

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Thank you for reading! As always, comments, notes and reblogs are always welcome!

#Addicting Taste #enishi yukishiro #enishi yukishiro x reader #enishi yukishiro x you #rurouni kenshin #enishi yukishiro fanfiction #This is only the calm before the storm

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