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mackio-o · 2 years

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songs that I associate the aot characters with

This is the first thing I’ve properly wrote on here. Hoping this goes well 🤞🏼 anyway It’s literally 3am rn so here are some songs that I associate with the aot characters. I tried to keep this as gender neutral as I possibly could. Lemme know if you guys like it and feel free to send me any headcanon ideas since I have alot. Enjoy?<3

Warnings: some mentions NSFW and obvious spoilers

Characters included: Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Sasha, Connie, Jean, Reiner, Levi, Hanji, Erwin

Eren:

Brazil by Declan McKenna

every time I listen to this song I just remember Eren. Especially a modern au version of him or junior high eren. I see the more playful and adorable side of eren and feel it in this song. I literally cannot unsee it

I can’t handle change by Roar

Maybe it’s the aries in him I don’t know but I just see him being in an angsty little mood and listening to this song. Eren relates to this song on an EMBARRASSING level. I feel like maybe he tried to deny it at first “no wtf I’m not that dramatic” as if he didn’t commit genocide to protect his friends but eventually I think he could even cry to this song at 3am. Aries pride tbh.

White Ferrari by Frank Ocean

Eren fucking cries to Frank ocean. Eren feels himself when he’s listening to Frank Ocean. If Frank Ocean asked Eren for a BJ eren would kneel down and put his whole erenussy into worshipping and pleasing his lord and savior Frank Ocean. I imagine being in the car alone with Eren in the middle of the night and White Ferrari comes on and you two sit in absolute silence enjoying the music (especially the outro). Heaven on Earth. Stolen glances between red lights and stop signs. Summer night, breeze gliding softly through your hair from the rolled down windows.

In My Room by Frank ocean

Eren smokes to this song. Eren does thirsts to this song. Eren fucks to this song. He’d fuck hard to this song. And if he couldn’t he’d a rub one to this song. Safe to say it’s on his sex playlist. Trust me. He told me to play it before we fucked in his room.

Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood

I’m just gonna leave this here and not elaborate 😭😭😭😭😭😭 NO EREN SLANDER HERE HE CAN LISTEN TO WHATEVER HE LIKES HOMEBOY ATE HIS DADDY OK.

Halley’s Comet by Billie Eilish

This one is completely personal and mainly about season 4 Eren it was after he sacrificed himself and I had woken up in the morning and when this song came on I started crying when I thought of him. Especially the part, “what a drag to love you like I do” and ever since then I could never get Eren unassociated with this song. Moreover I’m convinced he loves this song he’s a Billie boy deep down, it may not seem like it but he’d definitely listen to her music when he’s particularly down. Favorites of his; ‘I love you’, ‘listen before I go’, ‘therefore I am’ , ‘male fantasy’.

little person by Matt Maltease

He’d play this in the car and tap the steering wheel while humming softly. This is one of those chill sad songs Eren would drift toward during times where his energy is just drained and he just can’t act happy and energetic anymore. If he listens to this song with you, he really loves you and is comfortable with you. Eren is the type of guy who would only play songs that mean a lot to him around people he truly cares about and this is one of them. Eren is such a sweetheart and is genuinely such a good friend. He has literally killed for kids friends and would do it again if it meant he could keep the people he loves safe and happy.

Armin:

These foolish things by Nat King Cole

Armin is a jazz boy through and through. Nat King Cole litters this man’s playlist. This song just reminds me of him so much, everytime it plays it’s literally just Armin ringing in my head. Just being in his little blue mini cooper that’s his car fight me idc sipping ice teas driving around, or coming home from the beach and this song is playing on the car speakers; ranting about the most random things, from space to mythology. Anyway yeah jazz boy Armin all the way.

Good Looking by Suki Waterhouse

My good looking boy. He blames himself for absolutely everything and is constantly trying to figure everything out. “The skyline falls as I try to make sense of it all, I thought I’d uncovered your secrets but turns out there’s more”. He’s just a little sweetheart that deserves the biggest cuddle and kiss on the forehead. Precious ocean boy.

Pretty boy by The Neighbourhood

soft soft soft soft. Warm milk and honey. The smell of fresh linen sheets. The color blue. Armin. I have literally never heard a song that radiated armin energy more than this song. SOMEONE MAKE AN EDIT ALREADY. Armin would listen to this and would cry if anyone ever told him the song reminded them of him tears of joy tears of joy. But yeah this song is on his playlist. I see him painting or studying or even reading with this song in the background. Gift him this song and he’ll cherish you (and the song) forever.

Regent’s Park by Bruno Major

I’m convinced he’s the one who wrote this song, conspiracy theory🤔🤔. I genuinely believe Armin would resonate so deeply with this song especially the part; “No one wants to hear a song about the bitch that broke my heart”, get off my back he’d say this. Armin is an absolute sweetheart but fuck with him and you’ll lose him forever Scorpio pride. Also the instrumental, Mr ocean eyes would sway his hips to this shit no doubt abt it. He’d hum it. He’d whistle it. He’d tap the chorus on the steering wheel. He is an R&B king. Favorite genre of music for sure.

Astronomy by Conan Gray

I ASSOCIATE HIM WITH ASTRONOMY. i just KNOW he loves stars and stargazing. He’d have a list of his favorite constellations and if you ever asked him to talk about Astronomy or anything related HE WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER. New friendship achievement unlocked type shit.

Out like a light by The Honeysticks

Something about this song just reminds me of Armin and I stand by it. It’s such a good song and definitely an underrated Ricky Montgomery track tbh. Armin would love it too. I see this being one of the sadder songs on his playlist.I think Armin struggles with feeling used a lot or neglected, and this song helps him feel that. It’s validating and comforting to feel like there’s someone out there who feels the same way he does. Especially in the form of something as beautiful as this song.

Watercolor Eyes by Lana Del Rey

He’d cry the first time he hears the song, and after that experience, he forms an emotional attachment to the song and listens to it during quiet, chill moments similar to the scenario earlier where he’d play it in the car during golden hour coming back from the beach. Windows rolled down and a cool evening breeze gently seeping into the car which just makes everything feel so surreal. When you want an ethereal out of body experience Armin’s ur guy.

Good days by SZA

Might be a bit cliché but it’s just so golden and perfect for my golden boy. He’s just a comforting person his energy is so pure so I immediately think of him especially during the outro ( *instrumental* “always on my mind always on my mind mind”).

Also literally anything by Cody Fry, Armin would love.

Mikasa:

Ok honestly absolutely anything by mitski will remind me of Mika on some level. My emo girl is a mitski stan and you couldn’t change my mind abt it. Mitski all over her playlists. You ask her who her favorite artist is u bet it’s miss mitski. But more specifically;

Two slow dancers by Mitski

I CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS I JUST FEEL IT IN MY CORE. Mika may not be the most emotionally expressive person (istj) but she will sob to this song. Give my bbg a tissue, here honey lemme lend u my sleeve. Also if u ship eremika then this just supports it. “We’re just two slow dancers last ones out” ur fucking kidding.

Pink in the night by Mitski

I’m honestly not even going to explain this, just look “I hear my heart breaking tonight, Do you hear it too?” - “I could stare at your back all day, And I know I've kissed you before, but I didn't do it right, Can I try again, try again, try again” enough said.

Sad girl by Lana Del Rey

She’s a Lana stan for sure. The questionable taste in men 🤨 this song just gives mika vibes but honestly the album in general, if she were an album she’d be ultraviolence. Honestly icon. Pretty girls who have incredible taste in fashion yet lack therefore when it comes to men.

I want you by Mitski

Im sorry for including YET another mitski song but this IS Mika, and Mika baby I feel you sweet girl. The ultimate sad girl anthem honestly Eren I’m looking at u. Living in her Tim burton era and this song is her soundtrack.

Mirror Ball by Taylor swift

THIS IS HER. “I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”. She would sacrifice her entire soul to show the person she loves what she sees. To show them how loved they are to protect them to keep them happy. She would lose herself in loving someone else Eren. She’d destroy herself in the process of protecting the one she loves.

Connie:

Rhinestone eyes by Gorillaz

absolutely any song by the Gorillaz would give me Connie vibes. Driving with Connie in the middle of the night belting out the lyrics to whatever Gorillaz song just came on.

Maniac by Conan Gray

Connie would scream the lyrics to this song and would turn to you “IF ANYONE DECIDES TO FUCK WITH YOU ILL SHOW UP AT THEIR HOUSE WITH A SHOVEL AND A ROSE” thank you Connie. Connie = 4lyfer.

Verbatim by Mother Mother

He’s a mother mother bitch. Yup yup. He’d rock his little bald head so enthusiastically the minute this song comes on. DOESNT EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS EITHER. “NANANANAN VERBATIM NANA LISTLESS VEGETATION” “..Connie it’s invitations” he looks up so innocently, confused “what?” “nothing nothing” “ok”. You wouldn’t have the heart to ruin the moment for him. He Carries on singing all the wrong lyrics. Smile and nod just smile and nod.

Remember When by Wallows

Wallows’ music always cheers me up and their music just has the same effect as Connie, and I see him absolutely adoring this song and it’s just such an adorable fact to me.

C U girl by Steve Lacy

HED BELT IT. He’d sing this song to his girlfriend or girl best friend, as I said before Connie = 4lyfer. GOOD VIBES.

Sasha :

Dancing with your ghost by Sasha Sloan

I listen to this when I miss her. Maybe it’s cause the artists name is Sasha aswell and that made me think of her. But yeah. Sasha.

Just a waste by pinkpantheress

Dancing to this song with Sasha and it being your song with her. As soon as this song plays you’d whip ur head in each other’s direction and bolt to each other and twist ur hip at the opening beat drop “OW” just start dancing ur heart out together.

Mr Loverman by Ricky Montgomery

Honorable mention; Someone once told me this song always reminded them of Nicolo and Sasha. And I never forgot that

Comfort crowd by Conan Gray

I SEE HER FACE EVERY TIME THIS SONG PLAYS. She’s so sweet and pure and PRECIOUS. I just want to hug her and dance to this song while putting ice cream into bowls getting ready to watch princess diaries together or a cheesy rom com to cry over while holding blankets in the dark.

Every Summertime by NIKI

enfp enfp enfp anthem. JUNIOR HIGH SASHA imagine doing that thing where u grab hands and twirl together really fast; Imagine doing that with this song. Yep. Sasha would play this song as much as she can and she’d get back into it EVERY summer(time) . All in all Sasha has the cutest most positive taste in music and everytime I hear a wholesome lively song chances are it reminded me of Sasha.

So Anxious by Ginuwine

Another song Sasha would love and it just gives me such good vibes that match Sasha’s if that makes sense?? Like it’s the same energy between the two of them. The same fun giddy feeling.

(She’d also love the entire album ‘SOUR’ by Olivia)

Jean:

Loverboy by A- Wall

HE IS THE PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF THIS SONG. Imagine him and his beautiful deep voice singing this song, he has a gorgeous singing voice I know it. This song just radiates his energy somehow and it’s just so wholesome and adorable.

Deja vu by Olivia Rodrigo

He will deny how much he loves this song he will deny it with his whole heart. But as soon as this song comes on in the car on shuffle. Give him a couple seconds he’ll be straining his vocal cords, belting the chorus alongside Eren who also denied how much he loved this song. “It’s cliché I would never listen to something so mainstream 🙄” not even a minute later, “SO WHEN YOU GONNA TELL HER THAT WE DID THAT TOO”. Gets so emotionally invested during this part: “PLAY HER PIANO BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO TAUGHT YOU BILLIE JOEL” aggressively pokes his chest to the point it’s red and he’s rubbing it after the song ends. who u singing abt jean🤔🤔🤔

Or Nah by SoMo

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM SORRY JEAN IM SORRY. This is an absolute callout. Jean would listen to this song and just sit and mull over sex fantasies and get horny in the process LMAO Jean would most likely only play this song during sex if he’s REALLY COMFORTABLE with his partner but it’s definitely on his bucket list, to fuck to this song. He listens to SoMo’s version cause it’s the superior one.

Checkmate by Conan Gray

He’d adore this song and it’s so fucking cute watching him slightly dance when it comes on. He’s a Conan boy I think, not a die hard fan but he listens every song that he releases and has a couple of his favorites in his playlist.

Lookalike by Conan Gray

This is his go to break up song, he relates to this song SO MUCH. He’d be the type of guy who would try and find someone to fill his partner’s place if they ever broke up but he’d never go through with anything more than a one night stand or rebound, cause he just wouldn’t be able to they don’t compare. He’d cry every night to this song for months after the breakup.

Dark Red by Steve Lacy

He thinks listening to Steve Lacy makes him a superior person with superior taste in music. He thinks dark red is so deep pretentious fuck. It’s definitely one of his favorite songs. Honestly jokes aside it does fit his vibe and he’s not too in your face abt it especially if u aren’t close with him. He won’t act all arrogant and cocky if he isn’t close with the person he’s with. He really does mean it halfheartedly and as a joke (kind of). oh he’d also rly like N side by Steve lacy so do with that what you will

Reiner:

I bet on losing dogs by Mitski

😐. *sobs uncontrollably* TRAUMA TRAUMA TRAUMA. Poor man just needs a big old bear hug. SOMEONE LET HIM REST. I just want to comfort him and this song just perfectly translates that??? (“ my baby my baby you’re my baby”). If anyone said that to him he’d burst into ugly ass tears and start wailing. Furthermore, he’d be the type to bet on a losing dog just so nobody has to feel alone, he tries to be there for people in ways nobody was, for him. Example of this is when he helped Armin during training, when Armin fell behind cause back when he was training nobody helped him when he fell behind, and he doesn’t want anybody to feel the way he did. Not if he can do anything about it. Brb gotta give Reiner a hug 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Cant pretend by Tom Odell

Uf. Fucking heartbreak. Pure heartbreak. Just go listen to the song and you’ll understand what I mean. Gotta go give my man another hug 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️

Until I found you by Stephen Sanchez

He’d ADORE this song. Listens to it non stop. He wants to play this for the person of his dreams and just dance to it with them. Big softie. He’d sing this song with his whole chest just completely in love with it and entranced.

Levi:

ok I have a lot to say *cracks knuckles*

Evermore by Dan Stevens

This song is literally Levi. It’s him singing. He told me. It’s how Levi experiences love this is how he feels when he’s in love scorpio moon asf. If anything were to happen if he lost the love of his life it would destroy him. He’d see them everywhere. He’d look for them in every crowd. They’d live in his head and haunt him for evermore. He could never get over a great love. He doesn’t fall in love easy because when he does, he never falls out of it no matter what. “Now I know she’ll never leave me, even as she runs away, she will still torment me, calm me, hurt me, move me, come what may” “Wasting in my lonely tower, Waiting by an open door, I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in, And as the long, long nights begin, I'll think of all that might have been, Waiting here for evermore”

August by Taylor Swift

He’d cherish all the memories he’s shared with the person he loves. He’d cherish all the time spent together. Levi lives in his head, he’s constantly thinking. So he’s the type of person who would find himself cursing the time for passing but eventually he’d except the fact that he can only cherish the memories and joy he felt in those moments, because time is never guaranteed. “It wasn’t mine to lose” “you weren’t mine to lose”. Furthermore, he would drop EVERYTHING for the person he loved “cancel all my plans just in case you called and said meet me behind the mall”.

505 by Arctic Monkeys

I have denied this for so long until eventually I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. This is his favorite song. It is. He could listen to 505 anytime of the day and not be bored. He absolutely loves this song. The build up and beat drop, the chorus absolutely everything about this song he loves

Lvr boy by awfultune

This is completely personal. But all in all if you ever sang this song to Levi he’d just immediately fall in love. He’d tear up but bury it with a sniffle. Ugh my love.

Compass by The Neighbourhood

“I’m lucky you’ve been keeping me around. You’re the star I look for every night, when it’s dark you stick right by my side” he wouldn’t ever believe that anybody could truly love him. That anybody would look at him with nothing other than love. And when he finds it, he will do everything in his power to satisfy his partner and give them what they deserve and love them right.

Folklore by Taylor Swift

I’m well aware this isn’t a song. But the entire album just screams Levi to me. He’d LOVE this album. I’m gonna tell you a secret. Levi Ackerman is a swiftie BUT HE WILL TAKE THAT INFORMATION WITH HIM TO THE GRAVE. he fucking loves her music but mostly it’s this album he’d cry to illicit affairs cause he knows he could very easily be caught in a situation like that. I’ll talk more in depth abt illicit affairs in a bit.

1 step forward 3 steps back

Mainly he just really likes the build of the song and the instrumental, piano whore. But he wouldn’t listen to the song often because this song absolutely terrifies him. Because he’s fucking terrified that if he was ever in a relationship his partner would see him this way because he would do anything to please his partner. He’d go above and beyond to make sure they’re happy, safe and that they feel loved. He cares about how the people he loves perceive him, so it worries him that the people he loves think he’d be like this in a relationship.

Nervous by The Neighbourhood

Making out with Levi to this song plays in my head like a tape every single time this song comes on. Sitting in his lap, hands in your hair, they slowly drift down to your hips and grip tighter when you bite his lower lip. I need to go drink some water 🤧

Nothing by Bruno Major

Levi is the type of man who would want his partner all to himself and want to spend pure uninterrupted quality time with them. “There’s nothing like doing nothing with you”. Watch a stupid rom com while holding them in his arms. Turn off their phones and toss them somewhere secluded in the house while he pulls them on top of him on the couch to forget about the movie and just make out until the credits roll. He’d prefer to stay in instead of go out. He’d rather see his partner in their loungewear it’s easier to take off (he’d also really love easily by Bruno Major aswell)

All mine by PLAZA

Levi would fuck to this song. He would fuck and fuck HARD to this song. If he had a sex playlist this song would be on it. He may not show it but Levi is possessive, he’s jealous (not in an obsessive or toxic way) but he just relishes in the fact that his partner WANTS to be his. He’s just so fucking proud to have his partner as HIS and his alone. And he wants to make this crystal clear to his partner. He wants his partner to know that he never wants to touch another person ever again that he never wants anyone to even think about touching what’s his. He wants to show them that they’re all his. And his alone. (Fucking fuck me already)

Apocalypse by Cigarettes after sex

Levi’s love is endgame. I’ve said this before but when Levi loves, it’s truly truly committed and loyal. Once he falls in love he’ll never fall out of it. The person he’s with is the person he’ll love forever. “Your lips my lips, Apocalypse” his love is all consuming, it consumes him. If anything were to happen to the love of his life. He’d never recover from it it’d be over for him after that. He’ll never love another person the same way ever again. His love is truly till death do us part. He would watch the world burn if it meant the love of his life was safe. His partner is his top priority. And always will be.

Illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

Levi hates the fact that he could easily be put in this situation, which is partially why he is terrified to be in a relationship. Because for the millionth time he would destroy himself entirely for his partner; “And you know damn well, For you I would ruin myself, A million little times” ur gonna tell me this isn’t something Levi would say to the love of his life in the dark while he holds their face between his hands, as his gun metal eyes brush over their features maybe even glaze over in a sheen of tears that the darkness would hide. Another thing is, as I said if his partner were to ever leave him, he’d be completely fucked cause; “You showed me colors, You know I can't see with anyone else” and “You taught me a secret language, I can't speak with anyone else”. He’d deny his feelings for someone at first. He’d deny deny deny. He doesn’t want to be completely overtaken by love he hates it because he knows that he’d be wrapped around his partner’s finger, completely. He’d be at his partner’s mercy, completely. He’d be completely vulnerable and bare infront of them and he’s terrified he’ll just get hurt again, this time in an even crueler way; “Don’t call me “baby” Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me” and “Don't call me "baby", Look at this idiotic fool that you made me”. He hates the effect his person has on him and he hates even more that he absolutely loves it and wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. Because for the first time, he feels there’s something to wake up for, there’s something that lights up his life. He’s so in love hurt him and I’ll cut you

Tchaikovsky (but more specifically Swan Lake Soundtrack)

Lastly Levi would LOVE Tchaikovsky and his works. Levi is a man with taste and he loves how he can feel the emotion in Tchaikovsky’s music without him having to speak a word. Tell me right now he wouldn’t absolutely adore swan lake. Idc how biased this may be I believe with my entire soul that Levi absolutely adores swan lake. The story. The aesthetic. But most importantly THE MUSIC.

Hanji:

I don’t have many for Hanji but the ones I do have are songs I genuinely can’t hear without thinking of her

Heat Waves by Glass Animals

I honestly can’t fully explain why I associate her with this song, but I do. It’s just so perfect? I just can’t unsee it.

To the wonder by Aqualung

I could never listen to this song without seeing hanji and crying. There’s an edit I saw of her to this song too. And it explains what I feel perfectly. I just can’t help but sob to this song honestly it breaks my heart every time I listen to it, and for me to associate the song with this edit just makes it worse.

This is the edit (contains manga spoilers) :

God, it kills me every time. sry :)

Erwin :

First and foremost let’s get this out of the way. Erwin, is a Beyoncé stan YES YES HE IS SHUT UP. dare I say it, he may even be a barb. I said what I fucking said. Erwin is a man of taste and he loves queen B. As he fucking should. King.

What about us by P!nk

I really really really don’t have to explain this but I will 😪 let’s look at the lyrics shall we; “what about us?” - “What about all the times you said you had the answers?” - “What about all the broken happy ever afters?” - “What about all the plans that ended in disaster?” - “What about love? What about trust? What about us?” This is literally all that Erwin has been fighting for. He heard his fallen comrades voices in his head. He wants to know the truth, Erwin believes he is the reason his father died, he longs to avenge his father and prove that what he was saying about the walls was the truth; “But man, you fooled us, enough is enough”. I have another point aswell: “Sticks and stones, they may break these bones, But then I'll be ready” HE LITERALLY LOST HIS ARM IT WAS CHOMPED OFF BY A TITAN and Erwin Smith LITERALLY went on to lead his soldier while STILL in the jaws of a titan. He saved Eren and sliced him out of Berthold’s arms with one arm. He stared the armored titan in the eye as he never wavered and stood tall and proud next to him, just glaring into his eyes with no fear.

I really hope you enjoyed this. It were really fun to write and again this is the first time for me ACTUALLY writing something on here so show some love if you liked it don’t be afraid to tell me I’d really appreciate the feedback and support <33

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thedeadthree · 2 years

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FIVE SONG OTP PLAYLIST

tagged by the darlings @adelaidedrubman, @leviiackrman, @marivenah, @dihardys, and @shellibisshe! ty so much you all! and saw @risingsh0t do this as well!

(x)

TAGGING: @griffin-wood, @aartyom, @queennymeria, @blackreaches, @chuckhansen, @lacunafiction, @pheedraws, @swordcoasts, @virassan, @confidentandgood, @saintsilver, @arklay, @steelport, @celticwoman, @florbelles, @belorage, @rosebarsoap, @multiverse-of-themind, @jackiesarch, @alexandbear, @heroofpenamstan, @shadowglens, @pegxcarter, @inkrys and you!

BAD HABIT // STEVE LACY

kinda mad that i didn't take a stab at it / thought you were too good for me my dear / never gave me time of day my dear / it's okay things happen for / reasons that i think are sure, yeah / i wish i knew, i wish i knew you wanted me

DAFT PRETTY BOYS // BAD SUNS

i don't like you / you look so pretty from afar / i despise you / why you so f*ucking perfect on the outside? / she's dressed in sunrise dressed like dusk / going out she's getting into something / he's going all or nothing

SWEET TALK // SAINT MOTEL

you might want me to drop dead but i don't even care / sweet talk / everything you say / it sounds like / sweet talk to my ears / you could yell / "piss off! won't you stay away?" / it'll still be / sweet talk to my ears

MAKE ME YOUR QUEEN // DECLAN MCKENNA

i know that i mean nothing to you, babe / i'm in your grip from which i can't escape / and i can't help but think that i mean nothing to you babe / so make me your queen

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED (TAYLORS VERSION) // TAYLOR SWIFT

all i know since yesterday / is everything has changed / come back and tell me why / i'm feeling like i've missed you all this time / and meet me here tonight / and let me know it's not all in my mind / i just wanna know you better

KILLER // FKA TWIGS

dancing in the dark, i can feel it in my heart / you're a killer, but i didn't want to call it / something in the way you put your hands on my waist / pulled me nearer, no, i never wanna call it / didn't wanna call it, didn't wanna call it / took your love for righteous / and now i'm in a crisis with a killer

MARKED FOR DEATH // EMMA RUTH RUNDLE

who else is gonna love someone like you that's marked for death? / who else is gonna be with you when you breathe your last? / who else is going to take my place and hold and keep you safe? / who else is going to stay? who else is going to stay?

DREAM GIRL EVIL // FLORENCE + THE MACHINE

am i your dream girl? / you think of me in bed / but you could never hold me you like me better in your head / make me evil / then i'm an angel instead / at least you'll sanctify me when i'm dead

HIT ME WHERE IT HURTS // CAROLINE POLACHEK

maybe there's something going on, i'm not insane / if i'm already out of time, then make it worse / go on and hit me in the heart hit me where it hurts / go on and hit me in the / blindspot, achilles' heel / vertigo, vertigo / high stakes, popped ears / promise one day / you will hate me

THE LIAR // MARRIAGES

oh mother they say, they say he was made for me / just you wait a while, just you wait and see / he tattooed with the devil's eyes / idle hands so kind / that lies / but he lies / you lie, you lie, and suffer my name / it's mine, it's mine to give or take it

GEMINI // NIGHTS

lust only pops in mysterious ways / sleep over don't get invested / fall in love and then i pay her rent / hustle and hustle and hustle and die

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS // CHET FAKER

you don't know what love is / do you know how lost a heart fears? / the thought of reminiscing / and how the taste of tears / lose their taste for kissing / you don't know how hearts burn / for love that cannot live yet never dies / until you've faced each dawn with sleepless eyes

MONEY // TARA CAROSIELLI

love me like your money / i just want you for myself i put on a show / love you better than the others, you don't even know / tell me why you're never here and always doing road / baby when it's time to leave i don't wanna go / i just want you for myself did i say it too late?

I HEARD (FT. THE DREAM AND VORY) // DJDS

and still i wait up, i stay up, i wake up / i pray about you / i know i f*ucked up, throw my face in this cup / can't live without you / but he lies like i lied, but my lies were sweeter / he lies 'cause he wants you / and i lie 'cause i need you

TRY ME // THE WEEKND

better try me / don't you mess with me / don't you mess with me / the way i kissed your scars / the way i fixed your heart, oh / don't you miss me babe? / don't you miss me babe?

MY TEARS RICOCHET // TAYLOR SWIFT

you know i didn't want to have to haunt you / but what a ghostly scene / you wear the same jewels that i gave you / as you bury me / i didn't have it in myself to go with grace / 'cause when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave / and if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? / cursing my name, wishing i stayed / look at how my tears ricochet

WHERE'S MY LOVE - ALTERNATE VERSION // SYML

old sheets / but where's my love / i am searching high / i'm searching low in the night / does she know that we bleed the same? / don't wanna cry, but i break that way / did she run away? did she run away? i don't know / if she ran away, if she ran away, come back home / just come back home

WALKIN' AFTER MIDNIGHT (FEAT. MAURA DAVIS) // KI:THEORY

i go out walkin' / after midnight / out in the starlight / just hoping you might be / somewhere walkin' / after midnight / searching for me / i walk for miles / out along the highway / well, that's just my way / of saying i love you / i'm always walkin' / after midnight / searching for you

EXILE (FEAT. BON IVER) // TAYLOR SWIFT

i'm not your problem anymore / so who am i offending now? / you were my crown / now i'm in exile, seein' you out / i think i've seen this film before / so i'm leaving out the side door / so step right out, there is no amount / of crying i can do for you / all this time / we always walked a very thin line / you didn't even hear me out / you never gave me a warning sign (i gave so many signs)

IN YOUR LIKENESS // WOODKID

watch my fears unravel / can you see the truth of me? / i don't want the light required / for this endless walk on wire / i know / i'm not made in your likeness

#only if you want to of course! 🖤#im a bit tardy so please feel free to pass on this if you've done it already! finally catching up on the things I've missed <3 #oc: edelgard vanderweyden #x: edelgard x reese #oc: caitrìona mac cathmhaoil #x: caitrìona x marcus #oc: viktoriya vays #x: viktoriya x jenkins #oc: líadáin talovaire #x: líadáin x leon #my brain is a fried egg or you can BET i would have added #more janskaxn like.. i slept the whole day todayjhabhkjsa. the post con sleepiness i tell ya #but lía and leon had NO BUSINESS taking me out at the knees like this! their playlist GETS me everytime!#i have done EXTENSIVE lore esays on daft pretty boys and make me your queen and how they're literally eddie and reese!#and now theres a new contender! bad habits makes me crazy its them!#SPEAKING OF SONGS THAT MAKE ME CRAZY! killer and marked for death! especially after the recent update! they make me crazy!#GODD like.. his most recent sitch.. the missing chestnut from the fire and how he's quite literally marked for death now?#and in killer? after samhain? and the DANCING..! that song THAT SONG like..! this is fine!#and just the chefs kiss of vika and jenkins I MISS THEM SO MUCH GAHH they mean the world to me!#in honor of the upcoming dlc theyre living in my head rent free again! shes back! return of the queen!#leg.ocs #leg.txt #leg.tagged #TY SO MUCH DEARS <3

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popentertainmentconcertreviews · 11 months

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Declan McKenna – Union Transfer – Philadelphia, PA – June 2, 2023

Declan McKenna, 24-year-old English singer-songwriter, made his “Big Return” to the US this spring and summer. The “Big Return Tour” made a stop at Philly’s Union Transfer. This tour is his first in the US since before the pandemic, making his show not only super in demand but sold out!

The crowd of 1,200 waited patiently for Declan to make his entrance while enjoying the company of the opener, The Oracle Sisters. Performing a similar style to McKenna’s music, the crowd loved them! Hyping up the crowd with so many guitar solos and even a flute solo! They got the crowd re-energized & ready for McKenna.

McKenna made his way onto the stage and kicked the night off with “Beautiful Faces,” a hit off his latest album, Zeros. Right off the bat, everyone was jumping and going absolutely crazy for Declan. He played two more songs off of Zeros before playing “Paracetamol” off his debut album What Do You Think About the Car? Hearing the reactions of the crowd the whole night, I think it’s safe to say his debut album was full of songs that the crowd couldn’t get enough of.

After some slower and more mellow songs, McKenna said “Who’s ready to dance?” before playing the intro to “Why Do You Feel So Down?” Concertgoers were seen jumping and dancing with their friends and loved ones while screaming the lyrics. The night was a beautiful and tasteful mix of his two albums and the single “My House.”

The moment so many people were waiting for, “Brazil,” Declan’s biggest hit and widely known now for being viral on Tik Tok. The crowd was the loudest it had been all night; phones were out and recording while others danced and screamed the lyrics along with the singer. It was the end of the show, or so the audience thought.

McKenna came back out with two more songs and didn’t leave the crowd hungry for more. With a cover of George Harrison’s “All Things Must Pass” the crowd was in awe of Declan’s vocals and just enjoying his presence. Before leaving, he ended with “British Bombs,” another one of his most known singles. He put his guitar down, picking up the tambourine, jumping and running around the stage while singing the anti-war and politically charged song. The crowd was back to the hype it had for “Brazil” and wasn’t ready for the night to end. Before exiting, Declan thanked the crowd relentlessly and walked off stage.

Leaving the venue, concert goers were heard speaking to their friends about how in awe they were of the show and praising McKenna’s long-awaited performance after waiting so many years for his return to Philly.

Maria Gilles

#Declan McKenna #2023 #Concert Reviews #Union Transfer #Philadelphia #maria gilles

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deadcactuswalking · 2 years

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 06/08/2022 (Beyoncé’s ‘RENAISSANCE’, JAE5/Dave/BNXN)

Even amidst Beyoncé, “Afraid to Feel” by LF SYSTEM continues for a fifth week at #1 on the UK Singles Chart. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

I say “amidst Beyoncé” as if she really had a chance here, but the sales weren’t all that close, and RENAISSANCE, despite obviously being the #1 album, had a shallower impact than one might expect this week. For what it’s worth, it’s the Beyoncé album I’ve enjoyed the most. Sure, there’s a lot of odd framing throughout about art and black and/or queer culture that makes Beyoncé’s flexing considerably more unlikeable and borderline revisionist, but most people aren’t paying attention, right? They’re just grooving to the music! Well, they’re also buying into the deity that is Beyoncé’s media presence, and whilst the album may be more sexual, basic and messy, it’s far from honest, and a lot further away from any sense of real, to-the-ground moral decency as Bey may intermittently try and convey between brand names, holier-than-thou hyper-capitalism and having sex with JAY-Z. I’ll get this out in the pre-amble so that my song reviews don’t end up exhausting.

Similarly lacking in exhaustion is our list of notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 – which is what I cover – after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40. We really just have a handful this week, owing to the lack of new arrivals, but quite a few are pretty notable: We say farewell to “Brazil” by Declan McKenna, “SPACE MAN” by Sam Ryder, “Je M’appelle” by Benzz and finally, former #1 “Starlight” by Dave.

What’s filling in the gaps? Well, we have no returns but we do have some notable gains within the top half of the chart, like “Under the Influence” by Chris Brown at #46, “Big City Life” by Luude and Mattafix at #28, “Ferrari” by James Hype and Miggy Dela Rosa at #25 and that’s actually pretty much it. It seems like a really stagnant week, unless you’re a OneRepublic fan as “I Ain’t Worried” moves its way into the top 10 at #10, the first time the band has reached that level since 2014’s “Love Runs Out”... but are there any OneRepublic fans?

The top five of the UK Singles Chart, bottom to top, consists of “Green Green Grass” by George Ezra at #5, “Doja” by Central Cee at #4, “As it Was” by Harry Styles at #3, “BREAK MY SOUL” by Beyoncé at #2 and of course, “Afraid to Feel” at the top. Now to discuss some releases from the past few weeks that won’t ever impact this chart...

Off the Charts

Based Heaven – Acid Souljah

I’m going to try and keep this quick like this section should be, starting with an EP I’m not even sure deserves the signature sentence that I give every release. Well, Acid Souljah isn’t as notable lyrically as his guest star ooskully takes a stab at both production and rapping... and kind of sucks at both. My favourite track is “Cashapp”.

Emotional Creature – Beach Bunny

I really wanted to like this a lot more but found that there was something missing in how this album was themed, with a consistent, anthemic power pop sound but not one that feels like it’s branching anywhere outside of what Beach Bunny have done before, leading to a vaguely decent album that spends most of its time as a bore. My favourite track is the electronic interlude “Gravity”, which should be telling.

RED & WHITE – Lil Uzi Vert

Lil Uzi’s most consistent talent is their inconsistency, and much like nearly all Uzi projects, this synth-inflected collection of dozy flexing trap songs works when it does, especially in the harsher, more unpolished tracks, and doesn’t work when it doesn’t. My favourite track is the grand and epic “F.F.”

THE HYENET – Luv Shima

It’s safe to say that I enjoyed this much more than RED ROOM IDOLS! largely because of how streamlined and realised the murkier, hexd-adjacent sound is this time around, though I still feel like the vocals are purposeless and distracting from what could be pretty tight instrumentals. My favourite track is “HYEWALTZ!”.

Rich Off Pints 3 – Icewear Vezzo

Icewear Vezzo is less hungry than in previous instalments and the grimier beats do feel a bit repetitive, but he still delivers with another hard-hitting mixtape with memorable bars and a grizzly delivery that sells them, alongside some decent guest features. My favourite track is “Times Like This”.

There’s No River – iANO

I’m kind of disappointed with this one, as McCracken moves further away from electronic music into a more despondent and muddy hypnagogic pop sound that honestly comes off as monotonous, where the barebones and incoherent vocals take centre-stage without realising why they worked as breaths of fresh air on the last few projects. There are brilliant tracks on here like always, especially my favourite track “Parallax” where iANO interrupts his own mantras before devolving into exhausted, beeping uncertainty, but the more percussive and vocal focus leaves this album sounding a lot clunkier than usual.

Arctic Alumni – Star Garage

At less than half an hour, this groovy Star Garage project feels like a breeze to get through, especially considering how eclectic a lot of the sampling choices and production here actually is, making a more cohesively grandiose album that keeps its humility in some of the grooves and stiffer percussion, whilst always floating above the Earth through ethereal vocal chops and a generally immense, mystifying aura. My favourite track is “Been Gone” but everything here is lovely.

Entering Heaven Alive – Jack White

I did not expect to like this nearly as much as I did. As much as I liked Fear of the Dawn, much of its theatricality and paranoia was expressed through gritty, experimental rock that didn’t allow for much room to breathe or step back, and whilst this is far from an intimate, lo-fi production, this newer, folksier record might resonate more. Much of it consists of Jack White in character “reminiscing” on how he lived his life, regrets in full focus, and comparing it to the inaccessible fantasy, realising just how far out of reach that is... and it feels pretty morbid to see this character decay through the rest of the album, much of the lyrical content leading me to think they’re on some form of premature deathbed. The first half is largely spent on discussing the fragmented yet still overbearing relationships that he created out of desperate longing for a real connection, yet by track five, these relationships are completely warped and fabricated. White delivers this all with as much devastation as possible, bringing a lot of distant frustration and strain to the man’s pleas with God regarding the inevitable – he knows he won’t go to Heaven, but he at least wants his sins kept between him and God which, as we can tell by the maddened ramblings of “A Madman from Manhattan”, isn’t ever possible. It’s a crushing record and in my opinion a lot better than its companion, though both are great – I hope the dude’s okay. My favourite track is “If I Die Tomorrow” although again, everything here is fantastic. Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming...

NEW ARRIVALS

#54 – “Narcissist” – Lauren Spencer-Smith

Produced by Greg Kurstin

After “Fingers Crossed” was pretty awful, I didn’t expect really any follow-ups from Lauren Spencer-Smith, let alone a pretty decent one in the form of “Flowers”. We actually have a third single here – again, more than I expected – and considering that Greg Kurstin is on the boards, maybe some of the rougher ends are polished here... and that’s definitely the case. In fact, I think this song is pretty great. It details an abusive relationship where the first few months of the relationship are too good to be true, before the fights start to break out into something more violent, and most of those compliments only stem from compensating for the fact that he’s also cheating. Much of the song’s theatrics are based within how she’s dating a narcissist so he’ll deflect all of the blame onto the female protagonist, which Spencer-Smith seems to take an almost advisory or retrospective role to as the narrator. Some of the framing can come off as a little odd, especially that final line in the chorus where she kind of dismisses the abuse as “just how it is”, but in an abusive or toxic relationship, that routine of false compliments, damaging self-image and constant fights may just feel like a routine, and the protagonist has clearly found herself kind of hopeless in fighting it. There’s not much of an emotional climax here in terms of narrative, so I kind of hope the album follows up on this story, if that’s ever coming. As for Kurstin polishing up some of the rough edges, there is still some clipping but the basic pianos feel as complemented as ever with the stacked, ghostly harmonies of the pre-chorus, and the clipping in the chorus almost leads to a buzziness especially in the final chorus that I wish was actually developed upon more: a song with rough emotional gravitas like this kind of deserves an electric guitar. Whilst this sound is never really going to appeal to me fully, this is still a pretty greatly executed song and I can’t deny that. I hope it sticks around.

#48 – “Turn on the Lights again..” – Swedish House Mafia and Fred again.. featuring Future

Produced by Swedish House Mafia, Fred again.., Desembra and PARISI

Our story here starts in 2012, when Future released “Turn on the Lights”, a single from his debut Pluto wherein Future kind of gets his electropop on, with the buzzing synths and the beat that famously takes a minute to drop properly. It’s got the typical metallic early 2010s metallic percussion that has always worked for me, even with that overly loud snare, and Future sounds more coherent and pronounced than he ever really did in this era, even through the throaty voice cracking. I like this song a lot in its original form even if it goes on for a tad longer than it should, and whilst it’s been remixed by other rappers like Lil Wayne and Yo Gotti before, this collaboration between Swedish House Mafia and Fred again.. strips the track of its verses and makes a house track out of the longing “I’m looking for her” refrain. Since Fred’s work tends to be insulated than the immense festival house of Swedish House Mafia, I was wondering how this would work and well, it’s interesting with the same beeping synth yet a more unique garage house rhythm that has a kind of weak groove, less bassy than it should be until the pre-drop where this warped bass comes in that feels kind of awkward coming in and out, and you can tell it’s been awkwardly cut in the mix, it’s just distracting. The awkward cuts apply also to Future’s voice, who just doesn’t feel at home on an atmospheric house beat, which vaguely works but does feel monotonous with its constant repetition of that squeaking vocal loop. That’s a good way to describe the whole song, really: just kind of squeaky, not really fit for home-ready outsider house or any clubs or festivals. It’s too inhuman for one extreme and too muted for the other. To be fair to Fred and Swedish House Mafia, the elevation in the second pre-drop, in typical Swedish House Mafia fashion, has a really in-depth soundscape that continues to develop... but just feels squandered by the fake-out bass drop. It’s also constantly moving in a way that seems not to understand the point of the original song, which was largely anticipation and tension. I don’t know, this isn’t bad, and I’m glad something as weird as this is as high as this is, but I’m not feeling it.

#45 – “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)” – Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal

Produced by Interplanetary Criminal

Okay, I’ll bite: who in the Hell are any of these people? Well, Eliza Rose is a singer and DJ from London who had caught some streaming traction before, albeit very minor, with other EDM-producer collaborations, and Interplanetary Criminal is a house producer and DJ with a similar level of minor success. I actually checked out one or two songs from him out of curiosity and I kind of love his more traditional, 1990s-inspired take on breakbeat and piano house on “Supreme Level” which is a disjointed house banger taking its messy sound palette and drum patterns to a new level of uncertainty and awkwardness. I was kind of hoping that this charting single, the first for them both, would follow the same sound and, well, to my surprise, it actually does. It’s six minutes long, by the way, so unless the radio edit catches on, I don’t see this getting higher than say, #30, but the full version is pretty good, with the badly-mixed drum patterns, like that constant tinny loop and the punchy kick that pretty much drowns out the ethereal, oceanic keys until they fade out and we get this really interesting interlude that once again mixes a messy sound palette, with seemingly one-and-done samples and sound effects creeping in alongside the keys and a really nostalgic-sounding strings melody that leads us in to Eliza Rose’s vocal contributions. She’s not really singing here, more providing a chant saying that some woman is the “baddest of them all” and I couldn’t care less about the lyrical content. It’s house music, and whilst I’d prefer this without Rose, her half-singing has this childish charm to it that feels very much out of that era, especially the stupidly vapid lyrics where Rose plays it kind of slowly with this potential partner, just wanting a dance, a kiss and maybe even a date. How scandalous. The bridge trades out the main melody for one that kind of buckles over itself, sounding like a scuffed “Show Me Love”, and it sounds really good though I wished it actually came back in some fashion for the final few measures of the chorus... then it did! It’s almost like the song is painting itself exactly to how I’d planned it to go in my head. It’s not exactly full of surprises, and at its runtime, I can see it getting old, but it’s a damn good throwback house track. If this kicks off, then this sound getting a more relaxed, indie-label resurgence in the mainstream (as it’s already crept into the underground) is more than deserved and you’re damn right it’s something I want to see.

#38 – “Propeller” – JAE5 featuring Dave and BNXN fka Buju

Produced by JAE5

This trio of artists makes a lot more sense than whatever happened two songs ago, given that JAE5 has worked closely with Dave in the past, on some of his biggest hits, and Nigerian singer BNXN is a popular Afrobeats artist who can join JAE5’s mission in bridging the gap between UK and Africa. If you’re wondering why he’s formerly known as Buju by the way, it’s because he kept on getting confused with Jamaican dancehall singer Buju Banton which, given some of his lyrics, I understand would be a problem. The song is pretty good too, as although the finger-snaps and percussion as a whole feels a bit messily produced, the atmosphere created by JAE5’s production is very much one of warmth, and is otherwise effortlessly clean. Dave is mostly talking about his come-up here with flows he’s used before, as well as being casually sexist as always and having some gangster posturing. They wouldn’t be all that interesting but the production here has a lot of drive, allowing for Dave’s flows to sound unique over a newer Afrobeats groove. BNXN is really the highlight though, handling the chorus and bridge as he harmonises wonderfully over inflections of strings and just effortlessly carries himself on the chorus. I didn’t hear what I heard from BNXN on his last hit, “Finesse” with Pheelz, but I’m pretty impressed here – maybe he just needs the right production. Overall, whilst it’s far from great, this is a pretty solid track and I’m excited to hear if JAE5 has more work on the way as a lead artist.

#16 – “ALIEN SUPERSTAR” – Beyoncé

Produced by Luke Solomon, Honey Dijon, Chris Penny, Beyoncé, MIKE DEAN, The-Dream and NOVA WAV

So this is the big story, and I’ll try and keep these two quick since really, the album despite its seamlessness is pretty damn eclectic and these two songs far from represent the album as a whole, especially not my favourite parts, which is largely within the mid-section where it gets weird, dark and borderline industrial. My favourite tracks are “ALL UP IN YOUR MIND”, “THIQUE” and “AMERICA HAS A PROBLEM”, but the two songs that debuted here are hardly duds. I mean, hey, with all the sampling that she can afford and the general themes of liberation, it’s good to see an actual trans woman in Honey Dijon sharing producer credits... though I imagine a higher royalties cheque goes to MIKE DEAN and The-Dream. That aside, this is a pretty damn great song, with its robotic-sounding house groove, futuristic bass synth and Beyoncé’s sexy spoken-word delivery that leads into a pretty ascendant chorus, which I kind of wish went even further, even if Bey’s delivery is uniquely vulnerable in that post-chorus, kind of showing some of the more intimate holes in all the deity flexing. It hits harder in album context, like pretty much all of the album, and I don’t believe for a second Beyoncé calling herself obscure for a second, but by the time the stack of choral harmonies in the outro hits, I care a lot less about lyrical content and subject matter. If anything is the album’s strength, it’s distracting you.

#14 – “CUFF IT” – Beyoncé

Produced by Beyoncé, NOVA WAV, Raphael Saadiq, Mortern “Rissi” Ristorp and The-Dream

I’m not as big on “CUFF IT”, largely because it feels a lot less unique, but it’s definitely next-single material, with Raphael Saadiq’s organic bassline and infectious disco groove, no doubt orchestrated by Nile Rodgers on guitar. I love those strings in the verses especially, and Beyoncé can definitely sell this kind of breathless, party banger. The post-chorus just elevates what, say, Dua Lipa would sing to a different level as whilst she was levitating, Beyoncé is making JAY-Z see God. Beyoncé will always have that domineering element to her, but what’s more integral in my opinion is the grandiosity – or sometimes, lack thereof – that makes every emotion feel like 100%. The crushed saxophones in the third verse sounds filtered as all Hell, almost like a French house sample, but it just lets Beyoncé gather even more of the attention for her own vocals. I also appreciate how by the end, it’s a tad more minimal, actually acknowledging the comedown from all the euphoria, leading into “ENERGY” featuring BEAM, which kicks all kinds of ass.

Conclusion

Best of the Week goes to Beyoncé for “ALIEN SUPERSTAR” – it was going to happen, and if I’m honest, nothing else here, despite being mostly good, reaches “CUFF IT” either, which can tie the Honourable Mention with “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of Them All)” by Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal. There’s not really a sincere Dishonourable Mention here, so I’ll just give Worst of the Week to Fred again.. and Swedish House Mafia for “Turn on the Lights again..” featuring Future simply because it’s the one song I don’t like in a pretty great week all things considered. I wonder how much of this’ll stick around, and how much Calvin Harris will permeate the chart next week. For now, thank you for reading and I’ll see you then!

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writingsfromstarfleet · 4 years

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Spock - Chocolate

♫ - In Blue - Declan McKenna

For a lovely Anon, I hope you enjoy! Thank you all for reading! Hugs! ♡

Starfleet had provided you with a plethora of experiences, knowledge and learning opportunities, and you had made it your mission to learn as much as you could about other cultures. It had always fascinated you how other species in your galaxy and beyond acted and lived. Your time aboard the Enterprise had only advanced that.

You had been stationed on the ship for nearly two years, and in that time you had encountered so many different races, stepped onto so many different planets, you were learning all the time. Over those two years, you had also come to find yourself in a relationship with her resident Vulcan, Spock. Much to the shock of her senior staff, Spock and you had lasted, and you could safely say you'd never been more in love.

Being with Spock had given you opportunity to learn more in depth about Vulcan habits and culture, and it also gave way to meeting a fair few other Vulcans, too; some were polite and rather pleasant by Vulcan standards, others were Sarek.

Every day, when you thought you knew all there was to know about Spock, out he came with something else, and each time you fell just that bit more in love with him. This was shaping up to be one of those days.

The day had been fairly dull as far as days aboard the Enterprise went. It wasn't every day there was no malfunction, no attack, no form of a problem. Jim had even managed to not start any arguments with hostile species. Finishing up the last of your report, you headed out and began the walk through the ships winding corridors to your quarters, a yawn or two here and there. All you wanted was to curl up with a good book and a beverage. Nothing could have prepared you for what you were about to walk in on.

Every time, without fail, if Spock was behind the door, he was always stood there ready to greet you. So it struck you as unusual to walk in and see him lay flat on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as though it was the most mesmerising thing he'd ever seen. His hand was above him, waving around as though he were drawing shapes in the sky. Hearing the door open and seeing you enter out of the corner of his eye, Spock sat up, and looked over to you with a grin; rather uncharacteristic of him, though you hadn't means to question it.

"Hi there," you spoke softly, titling your head and giggling. "Are we alright there, Spock?"

"Good evening, I am perfectly fine, Y/N, though I would much prefer if you were not so far away."

The tone of his voice made you raise both eyebrows and let out a small chuckle. Spock was never the one to initiate such things, nor was he someone who said things of the like. What was wrong with him, you didn't know. You complied, setting your things down on the table and walking towards him. Once in arms reach, you found yourself pulled flat against him as he sat on the edge of the bed, nestled comfortably between his legs.

There was a comfortable silence around you, though you did wonder just what was wrong with Spock; he had his strange moments, and his emotional moments, but you'd yet to see such a moment as this. Breaking the silence, you spoke softly, pulling back to look down at him and running a hand through his hair.

"Perfectly fine, hey? Have you been drinking?" You knew all too well he hadn't, Spock never drank. Still, you had no other logical explanation for his behaviour.

"I am not intoxicated, Y/N, the captain suggested I sampled the chocolate in the mess hall, and I did. Admittedly, it was a bad idea, though I could not go against Jim's-"

"Orders, yes," you cut him off, realising what had happened. He most definitely was intoxicated. "And just how much have we had?"

"I am unsure, perhaps a bar." His voice was upbeat compared to his usual stoic tone, and it hit home just how much he must've had. Knowing it wasn't going to harm him kept you calm and very entertained at the whole fiasco.

"I think we should get you lay down, Spock."

"No."

You blinked, looking at him with wider eyes as he grinned at you; it finally clicked with you. You'd read somewhere that chocolate really didn't sit well with Vulcans, and it was an experience you didn't think you'd have to deal with first hand. Part of you believed it was just legend, a mere myth as it were, but another part of you was grateful you could see such an act. Spock was always prim and proper, almost regal, and so to see him in such a childlike and rather human manner was amusing you to no end.

"No?"

"No."

One eyebrow raised, you stared at your boyfriend, who currently had turned into your four year old toddler throwing a tantrum. You tried desperately to to pull yourself from Spock, attempts which had proven unsuccessful. His arms stayed firmly around your waist and his head rested on your chest, grip only tightening the more you tried to wriggle free.

"Spock, please, you need to rest, you're clearly-"

"Fine."

Huffing, you were about to retort when he pulled you down next to him and lay beside you. He buried his head in the crook of your neck and tickled you slightly, all the while you tried your hardest to escape. There truly was no proper attempt, however; you were quite content to stay there with him if it meant he was lay down at least. You heard Spock laugh as he tightened his arms around you, pulling you even closer to him. His lips lightly left kisses on your shoulder, up your neck and eventually his lips met your own. Despite his state, his kisses were as gentle as ever, and you pulled back and took his hand in your own.

"You, sir, are something else." Your giggling betrayed the tone of your voice, and you had resigned yourself to the fact you weren't going to get any sense through to him until he'd slept this state off.

Smiling, he took his free hand and ran it through your hair, pulling your head down to rest gently against his chest.

"That is why you love me" he replied, tone sleepy in comparison to how it was when you'd walked in.

Not two minutes later did you look up to the Vulcan and find him asleep, returning your head to its original position.

So much for the book and cup of tea, though you weren't complaining; this was a far better way to end a dull day.

#star trek #star trek x reader #star trek imagine #star trek the original series #star trek tos #the original series #tos #spock #spock x reader #spock imagine #imagine #x reader

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kindaorangey · 3 years

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i was born for this

MONDAY

you better believe!!! (declan mckenna)

i could analyse this all day. line by line, if i was so inclined. however, this playlist is already longer than most of my other ones, so i’ll be quick

“you’re gonna get yourself killed”

runs a neat parallel to the first line of the book, which is “i’m literally dying”. start of the death motif

“when i'm dead, you'll break bread/but it's all in your head”

the start of jimmy’s feelings of disillusionment to his fame, and also religious imagery!!

“i'm off out to buy a bag of quavers/and nike trainers/comfort you can feel/and you know that it's real because you saw it at the station/god's creation/with a half-off summer deal”

the difference in juliet and angel’s feelings regarding the ark. juliet sort of resents them, and desperately wants to break out of her obsession with them, whereas angel welcomes the obsession as a distraction

boy problems (carly rae jepsen)

angel and juliet both have boys they’re focusing too much of their attention on. for juliet, it’s mac. for angel, it’s the ark boys.

“what's worse, losing a lover or losing your best friend?/what's worse is when you discover you're not good for each other/she's been giving, you've been taking, taking, taking”

juliet tries to connect with angel outside of fandom stuff, but angel tries to avoid talking or even thinking about that sort of thing, re: their difference in financial backgrounds, and their family situations

beautiful faces (declan mckenna)

jimmy is spaced out as hell for most of monday. he’s always thinking about england, thinking about his childhood, thinking about where he started and never where he is now. this song is a beautiful and sort of janky expression of being surrounded and overwhelmed by a crown of people, or ‘faces’

TUESDAY

a world alone (lorde)

“maybe the internet raised us/or maybe people are jerks”

this song is mostly calm detached vibes, but i think this line is relevant to the way the problems with fandom are explored on this day, especially regarding the ‘jowan photo’. also... death motif:

“i know we’re not everlasting/we’re a train wreck waiting to happen”

the outsider (marina)

“these people are weird in here/and they're giving me the fear/just because you know my name/doesn't mean you know my game/i look myself in the face/and whisper ‘i'm in the wrong place’/is there more to lose than gain/if i go on my own again?”

jimmy’s feelings at the party, when his struggles with authenticity first hit really hard. also, tuesday is the first day he really considers running away

WEDNESDAY

caught in the middle (paramore)

“i can't think of getting old/it only makes me want to die/and i can't think of who i was/'cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry, cry”

angel refuses to think about her school life or her future for fear of having a breakdown over it. to distract herself, this week she engages in increasingly ridiculous situations to do with the ark, like rescuing bliss from the HMV where she works

“i gotta keep going or they'll call me a quitter”

jimmy’s dislike of the new contract doesn’t immediately lead to him wanting to reject it. on wednesday, he just accepts that this is what his life is going to look like from friday onwards

i spend too much time in my room (the band camino)

basically every lyric of this song applies to jimmy’s thoughts and feelings during his ‘day off’ in some way. he’s just got this floaty, sad, unsociable vibe the entire day, and this song really captures that

why do you feel so down (declan mckenna)

“i can't speak and/i can't listen/and everyone is a curse/or something worse”

“so don't lie to me/i know I'm not as cool as i'd like to be/but why do you feel so down?/again, i know i'm not a very good friend/why do you feel so down?/sure, that's not something i'd stick around for/why do you feel so down?/oh god, i know you think i'm safe and sound, i'm not/why do you feel so down?”

angel having the realisation that something’s up with juliet, or that they’re not as good as real-life friends as she would’ve hoped, and the repetition of “why do you feel so down?” makes me think the speculation is pointless, and for angel it is - because she never actually asks juliet what’s wrong

sick little games (all time low)

i’m pretty sure this is on all of my playlists to do with the ark

“we're all part of the same sick little games/and i need a get-away, get-away/i'm wasting my days, i throw them away"

jimmy feeling trapped, even in his own apartment. he ‘wastes’ his day off, and his need for a getaway leads him to dissociate in the park for a couple of hours and proceed to be driven to a panic attack by some fans who recognise him

THURSDAY

time in a tree (raleigh ritchie)

“i'm on the edge of crying all the time, ‘cause i can't human/right/what a state/i get wound up, from the ground up/and i don't know why/turn the sound up, drown the noise out/swallow (woah), don't cry”

this song feels like being on the cusp of disaster, which all the characters are at this point in the story. i feel like the ‘sound’ could refer to the music the boys listen to during jimmy’s birthday party, or the music of the concert, which jimmy, rowan and angel are all desperate to lose themselves in

FRIDAY

class of 2013 (mitski)

the narrator of this song is begging their mother to let them sleep in their childhood home, after all of their efforts to live independently have gone to shit. it’s just... jimmy crying at piero’s kitchen counter. also,

“i’ll leave what i’m chasing/for the other girls to persue”

jimmy giving up on the ark, the only thing he had been holding onto as a source of happiness, because it isn’t working anymore. he wants to leave the band, thinking rowan and lister or literally anyone else is more fitting for the life of a world-famous celebrity than he is

obsessions (marina)

the ‘obsession’ in question being angel’s obsession with the ark. i like to listen to this song while thinking about the conversations angel has with dorothy and piero, especially the latter, about how refusing to talk about this sort of thing will end up killing you (death motif, babey!). also - “you never told me what it was that made you strong/or what it was that made you weak” can apply to the truth about juliet’s parents, or the truth revealed about the sort of person jimmy really is

SATURDAY

i always wanna die (the 1975)

“i bet you thought your life would change/but you’re sat on a train again”

jimmy running away back to his childhood home is a false victory. this song is composed to have a sort of false optimism to it, which is betrayed by the weird creepy violins at the end. jimmy running away doesn’t solve anything more than making the statement that he doesn’t want to live like this anymore. or, y’know. live at all

superstar (lupe fiasco ft. matthew santos)

“if you are what you say you are, a superstar/then have no fear, the camera’s here”

the pressure on jimmy to live up to his responsibility as frontman of the ark and to not leave the band because of it

“wanna believe my own hype, but it's too untrue/the world brought me to my knees”

jimmy’s struggles with being forced to live a lie

“even with all that, most of us don't want it to fade/we want it to braid/meaning, we want it to grow, meaning we want it to stay”

rowan’s feelings about jimmy leaving the ark - “it’s what we have to put up with in return for being, let’s face it, some of the most privileged people on the planet”

better than me (the brobecks)

*slaps the roof of this song* this badboy can encapsulate so many iwbft characters’ feelings of self-hatred !! mainly jimmy’s “i don’t hate you, i hate myself” directed at lister, but basically its just a big ole self deprecation party so angel, juliet and lister fit it as well

are you satisfied? (marina)

again, rowan’s whole “it’s what we have to put up with” thing. are you satisfied with an average life? or do i need to hide to make my way in life?

love it if we made it (the 1975)

i know this is a dancey-dancey pop apocalypse song, but it was written about everything awful that happened in 2018 and i think that... anger? existentialist dread? still bleeds through in the vocals. so, y’know. death motif, feeling of dread, the marshes are flooding and lister’s disappeared. sure would love it if we made it !

SUNDAY

i wanna get better (bleachers)

treading the thin line between self-reflection and self-deprecation, the fact that you have to identify flaws with yourself in order to improve on them, and also this song is just a clusterfuck of weird bad-good emotions with all the ambiguous optimism of the end of this book

we’ve got a good thing going (lady lamb)

“i climbed to the top of the pyramid of the sun/thought the height would make me feel alright/but the view of the avenue of the dead/didn't get my blood pumping again”

“i'll take all the living you can give me/yeah, we've got a good thing going”

angel severing her connection to the ark, finding new things to place her interest in, like people watching, or her friendships - “i just want to show my friends what i have for them/i have my whole heart for them” - also:

"she raised her arms like an angel/then she stepped off the platform without hesitation/the wind held her there in midair for a second/i think she stands for the ecstatic gift of life/and there's a cause for celebration/if i open my eyes”

death motif!!! religious imagery!!!

plans (oh wonder)

i stole this from @thearkangels’s angel and juliet playlist. angel and juliet are each other’s special internet friends - “i got plans to get to you/you know, don’t you know?/.../we’ll be scraping the skies with our fingertips/screaming ‘this is the life, we were born for this’” - it’s just a beautiful song for their friendship

i know the end (phoebe bridgers)

“romanticise the quiet life/there’s no place like my room” - jimmy’s want for a less-chaotic experience of fame, as well as a break after the events of this book

“like a wave that crashed and melted on the shore” - water motif, the storm/flood has come and gone, and now the boys have to pick up the pieces (re: deal with lister’s alcoholism, get everyone in therapy and decide what to do about the unsigned contract)

the rest of the song is about being content with the apocalypse, finding joy in the small things and finding a way to cope. it really does fit jimmy’s feelings in the final chapter, also ‘i know the end’ is a fun ironic way to end it, because neither jimmy nor the narrator of this song actually does know the end. they’re just continuing with life one step at a time, and they’re okay with that. also, i think it’s fitting to end this playlist with distorted screaming :)

#playlists #death mention #suicide mention #long post

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strangerays · 3 years

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Get to know me tag

Thanks a million for tagging me @pens-swords-stuff

NICKNAME: I don’t really go by one, people just call me Amber! You can call me Am, Amby, or Amberooni if you desire :))

ZODIAC: My horoscope is Sagittarius. Sometimes I literally feel like the embodiment of a Sagittarius lol...

HOGWARTS HOUSE: I’m a Ravenclaw! The first time I took the test, I got Hufflepuff, but I don’t really feel like that house suits me.

LAST THING I GOOGLED: “Can hamsters eat pasta” and it turns out that they can! Franklin loves it :)

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW: “Humongous” by Declan McKenna - it is very addicting, haha. I guess the song just makes me feel safe in a weird way even though I just found it last week.

AMOUNT OF SLEEP: Probably something like 7-8 hours on a good night!

LUCKY NUMBER: 15 - I think I was really happy and had a great friend group when I was 15 years old, so I think I’ll say 15 is my lucky number!

DREAM JOB: I would love to be a full-time writer or illustrator! Until then, I’m trying to become a professor!

WEARING: A pink t-shirt (even though our house is frigid) with the sun, the moon, and destiny card prints on it. Also have on long blue-striped pants and yellow fuzzy socks!

FAVORITE SONGS: Disco by Surf Curse, Miracle Aligner by The Last Shadow Puppets, You Know Me Too Well by Nothing But Thieves, Despair in the Departure Lounge by Arctic Monkeys, and Kleenex by Baby Boys (I love musiiiiic)

FAVORITE INSTRUMENT: I’ve been learning piano since the summertime! Not very good at it, but I like to learn background music from films lol

FAVORITE AUTHOR: Alice Oseman has been my favorite author for a very long time! Radio Silence is very special to me (I’m actually rereading it now)

FAVORITE ANIMAL NOISE: Nothing beats the sound of a dog eating an apple...

RANDOM: I’m really good at starting things and not finishing them. Like I have ten different TV series I’m watching and I haven’t finished them. RIP to The Magnus Archives :((

Tagging: @raenawrites @the-unwrittenwriter @trans1ence @ambsthom (of course, there’s no pressure, I just normally leave the tag open and wanted to try tagging some people haha)

Anyone else can play!!

#get to know me #OVERSHARINGGG

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mischiefandi · 4 years

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V’s Song-Themed Writing Challenge

(Dylan O’Brien & Tom Holland Characters)

Hi everyone! I’ve been really really bored during quarantine and since this whole coronavirus thing has been really hard on a lot of people, I thought maybe you could use a distraction, something fun to take your mind off of everything. Here are the rules for my Song-Themed Writing Challenge:

Pick any song in the list below and write a fic inspired by its lyrics!

You can choose to name your character or make it reader insert

You can pick who the fic talks about (has to be: Dylan O’Brien or any of his characters, or Tom Holland or Peter Parker/Spiderman).

Your fic can be fluffy, or angsty or even a smut (in which case I ask that you add a disclaimer!).

Feel free to choose any of the songs below.

Keep in mind that the songs each belong to one of three genres.

Each genre (acoustic, pop, rock) has a special guideline you have to follow while writing your fic (I added this for extra challenge but the guidelines shouldn’t be too difficult to implement in your fic).

Once you have chosen the song you will use for your fic, please tell me the name of the song or the letter and number of the song, and who you’ve chosen to write about -> in my asks so I can cross it off the list!

Wether you choose to follow the challenge or don’t (which is completely up to you obviously!), please reblog this post and signal boost so more people hear about it (thank you!!)

The challenge officially starts today (24th May 2020) and will end exactly one month from now (24th June 2020).

This means that your fic must be posted before the 24th of June.

When you post your fic, please tag @mischiefandi in it and add the tag: v song-themed writing challenge , so I can find it and read it and shareee it!

SONG LIST:

A) Acoustic : Guideline : must use an AU (any AU you like: soulmate, coffee shop, plane, roommates, etc)

Saturn – Sleeping At Last

Home – Foo Fighters

Little Light (acoustic) – Lewis Watson

25 in Barcelona – JP Saxe

If You Love Me Come Clean – Flatsound

Liking All Your Posts – Oscar Lang

Coffee – beabadoobee

Please Never Fall In Love Again – Ollie MN

Places We Won’t Walk – Bruno Major

July – Noah Cyrus

Terrified (demo) – Isaac Gracie

I Love You – Billie Eilish

B) Pop : Guideline : must slip one of the lyrics in your fic

Phases – PRETTYMUCH

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room – John Mayer

Ghost Of You – 5 Seconds Of Summer

Dancing With A Stranger – Sam Smith, Normani

The One That Got Away – Katy Perry

Like I’m Gonna Lose You – Megan Trainor, John Legend

Sucker – Jonas Brothers

Dusk Till Dawn – Sia, ZAYN

My My My! – Troye Sivan

Death of A Bachelor – Panic! At The Disco

If the World Was Ending – JP Saxe, Julia Michaels

Talk About You - Mika

C) Rock : Guideline : must make your fic happen throughout maximum 1 day

Tommy’s Party – Peach Pit

The Less I Know The Better – Tame Impala

Pleaser – Wallows

Make You Mine – PUBLIC

Mr. Brightside – The Killers

Do I Wanna Know – Arctic Monkeys

Cigarette Daydreams – Cage The Elephant

Make Me Your Queen – Declan McKenna

Heaven – The Walkmen

Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day

Police Station – Red Hot Chili Peppers

Everlong – Foo Fighters

I hope you guys enjoy this challenge and it helps keep your mind off whatever’s going on with you. remember that this too shall pass, and it’s okay to feel sad or scared or anxious, or even angry. Stay safe and stay kind <3

Hope you guys will wanna participate, im really exciteeeed to read your fics (please mutuals signal boost <3)

QUICK REMINDER:

please tell me the name of the song or the LETTER AND NUMBER of the song you’ve picked

please tell me who you’ll write about (it’s okay if you change your mind but do keep me posted) (either Dylan O’Brien or his characters, or Tom Holland or Peter Parker/Spiderman)

please tag my blog @mischiefandi and add “ v song-themed writing challenge “, so I can find your post faster

the challenge starts today (24th May 2020) and your fic must be posted before the 24th of June 2020

@twilightparker @brien-odylan ty for being excited, love yus🌸🌸

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cuteforathief · 3 years

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2020 Year in Review

Rules: answer some questions about 2020 and tag some people!

Tagged by: @queenemori 💕 thank you lovely!

Top Five Films you watched in 2020:

I am struggling to think of what was actually released this year and as much as I love them aren’t just netflix rom com originals.

1917

Wonder Woman 1984

Birds of Prey

Soul

Palm Springs

Top Five TV Shows in 2020:

I picked shows that were totally new to me in 2020 and that I really loved.

Normal People

The Queen’s Gambit

The Umbrella Academy

The Wilds

Never Have I Ever

Not a new show but I have to also mention Agents of SHIELD because it’s been a huge part of my life and that is how you end a show after 7 seasons *cough* JRoth *cough*. I also started Bridgerton yesterday which I am a little obsessed with atm.

Top Five Songs/Albums of 2020:

What would I do without Spotify telling me what I actually listen to??

Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

Exile by Taylor Swift (ft Bon Iver)

Outnumbered by Dermot Kennedy

The Key to Life on Earth by Declan McKenna

About Love by Marina

Top Five Books of 2020:

In the year we had nothing but time... I embarrassingly only read 6 books last year. I can’t even look at my goodreads challenge butttt here are my 5 favourites of those.

Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reed

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Circe by Madeline Miller

The Rest of the Story by Sarah Dessen

Dear Edward by Ann Naplolitano

Top Five Fanfictions of 2020:

I’ll stay on brand for this blog and stick to t100 or more accurately lets be honest Memori fics. Also there are sooo many more I could add to this list, so I just picked 5 of my favourites by 5 different authors - check out the rest of their works too because they’re all just as good! Also do not @ me about the amount of baby fics in this list!!

We Don’t Need To Say It

Revive

Fall Into Your Blue

Our Hands Shall Be Your Cradle

The Secret To Life Is Timing

Five good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

I started 2020 in Amsterdam with my friends. Looking back if I had known, I obviously would have appreciated my last trip out of the country more BUT it was great to start the year in such a positive way, even if the only way was down from there.

The fact that I have a job that has allowed me to keep working throughout the pandemic. Also I am so grateful that it is one that has allowed me to actually go into work (rather than work from home) and maintain that human interaction! I genuinely love a lot of the people I work with and when we’re allowed, we do tend to socialise, have regular work nights out etc so being able to see them on the daily, really lifted my mood at times when the rest of life has been so shit.

Such a first world issue I know but I love to travel so much, so it’s been a huge bummer not being able to go abroad this last year. BUT it has made me explore England a lot more than I normally would. It’s such a beautiful icountry that I do not take advantage of. The peak district is like 15/20 mins away from where I live so I’ve spent a lot of time there walking. I also went up to Northumberland where I enjoyed a lovely spa, some amazing beaches, went to the Harry Potter castle and other things I probably normally wouldn’t have done.

My friends and family have all managed to stay healthy and safe! Probably one of the biggest positives in a year like this.

Saving the most applicable till last.... FANDOM! I am a huge ass nerd obviously and the past couple of years (once I got past my anxieties) have been filled with cons/meeting up with fandom friends. So whilst that side of things has been disappointing (though thank you London Comic Con Spring for letting me squish one in). The online side? 😙👌 Ahh what would I have done without it and you guys. It’s always so lovely getting to meet new people to talk/rant/squeal/roast with! So to the various people I’ve connected with, the GC’s I’m in, to anyone who has created or liked something I have created THANK YOU and ILY! 💕

Tagging/hoping 2021 brings all the best to: @unremarkablegirl @gellarsummers @the-most-beautiful-broom @murphystartedthefire @mobi-on-a-mission @doortotomorrow & anyone else who would like to do this!

#tag games #this is long and got out of hand i'm sorry

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dantesinfcrno · 4 years

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𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

( @opalsmedia )

› 𝑰. ACE OF CUPS .

❝ divine love and compassion are pouring through you. you are a vessel for deep, spiritual love from the universe, and you can’t help but let that love flow through you and into the world. you are love & your heart overflows . ❞

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐋 –––––– the days grow darker than you’ve expected, and that harms the sweet thing you call a heart. the numerous fights, the copious amounts of tension, and the stress that pools in your stomach –– you’re certain you can’t handle it any longer. perhaps, you are too soft for this world in which anger & chaos reign. you try and shield yourself, but it’s never enough : your heart still beats so strongly, and you can’t stop giving & giving, until you’re alone with the remains of your chest. you weren’t expecting a ruthless emerald to open his arms to you, and yet–– in him, you discover at least one safe spot, tucked away from the world & all things evil. he reminds you of a book you loved as a child, and he has a nice way with words –– it makes dreaming easier, in such harsh times, and you can smile when he is around. he does not ask anything from you. you are grateful.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ╱ braver soldier, russian red + i like me better, lauv + boats & birds, gregory and the hawk.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ laughter that fills our lungs ; smiling until our cheeks ache & our bellies are warm ; yellow and orange shades peppered across your skin ; the summer bringing out your freckles. we find secret gardens & have picnics, us and the fairies. childhood is still very reminiscent in the way we lay down and embrace one another. we speak of running away, but instead just end up with more polaroids on our desks. i prefer your sweater much more than my own. cozy blankets ; soft intimacy ; rose-colored glasses.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ on empathy : what it sounds like is a bird breaking small bones against glass . ❞

› 𝑰𝑰. THE HIGH PRIESTESS .

❝ the guardian of the subconscious mind and the teacher of sacred knowledge and hidden mysteries. she ushers you through the thin veil of awareness, offering you a deep, intuitive understanding of the universe and a heightened awareness of secret or hidden information . ❞

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐋 –––––– you are a very distant cousin, maybe not even that. you grew up hearing tales of dante’s mother, and you are keenly aware of the distaste your family has for her, her husband, and her son. you’ve seen each other once or twice, but you know dante desai –– all the rumors, scandals, absurdities & controversies. he might not have given you a word, but your image of the emerald with a dazzling smile has darkened under the influence of gossip and ill-intentioned people. you are not sure why he’s in the society at all and, if you’re being candid, he doesn’t seem deserving of any of your respect –– but alas, business means business, so you try and play nice ( it fails, more often than not, as he seems to know every word uttered about himself in his absence ). he teases you, and pushes you to try harder, reach farther. it annoys you deeply, and you hold back from simply telling him to shut up. maybe you want to prove you’re so much better, maybe you want to make him aware of how much he’s missing. maybe you just want the approval of someone, anyone.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ╱ black sheep, gin wigmore + hit me with your best shot, adona + make me your queen, declan mckenna.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ misplaced competitiveness & rivalry ; wanting to prove yourself ; defiant words and poignant stares ; discovering the truth isn’t always hand-fed ; accepting the lies you were told when growing up & moving on from them ; familial resentment ; finding things in common with someone you hate ; learning you share many scars with the object of your disdain. biting remarks & vicious tongue ; clashing of titans. finding an equal match to the monster that crawls under your skin. enemies to friends.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ the monster. the dreamer, the eater. the eater monster. you the monster, i the monster. all of us the monster. the monster in us, the monster in you. the monster in all of us . ❞

› 𝑽. THE HIEROPHANT, ꓤƎꓥƎꓤSƎꓷ .

❝ you are your own teacher. all the wisdom you seek comes from within – not from some external source or power. the hierophant reversed is also about challenging the status quo. you seek out opportunities to rebel and reclaim your personal power . ❞

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐋 –––––– you’ve always had your eyes on dante, it seems –– it’s not at all too hard for it to happen, considering the bright glitter & colorful clothes, but you perhaps admire him more than your peers. individuality attracts you, and you may or may not have one silly crush on this man –– however, once you came closer, an infatuation turned into a solid bond. you seem to share similar principles, and the need for freedom & change is rooted deeply in both of your cores. you can speak for hours on end about everything at all, open-mindedness not shared with many others you’ve met. everyone might be worried once the two of you are seen together, as you’re always up for some trouble –– but, maybe, that’s just how love works in this friendship. fire burns brighter as you come together as an unit, and it almost makes you giddy.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ╱ void, the neighbourhood + come as you are, nirvana + sober ii (melodrama), lorde.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ forbidden crushes ; midnight escapades ; i know your favorite wine & you know how many drinks it takes for me to get tipsy ; we know each other at our worsts. the act of loving & supporting each other in all one sets their mind to. may be guilty of arson & invasion of properties. the lack of hesitation to defend one another. uniqueness & playfulness ; deep conversations under the moonlight ; sharing the same fears we never uttered aloud ; feeling trapped under the same pretense of freedom ; watching clouds & constellations ; staying awake until seven am to see the sun rise.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ wings are freedom only if they are open in flight. on one’s back they are a heavy weight . ❞

› 𝑽𝑰𝑰𝑰. JUSTICE .

❝ represents justice, fairness, truth and the law. you are being called to account for your actions and will be judged accordingly. as you explore your truth, you will discover that things are not as clear-cut as you had thought . ❞

𝐎𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 –––––– admitting to his past relationship with his own predecessor put a huge toll on dante’s shoulders, and you now observe him with more care, an attention you never truly bestowed upon the trickster of your circlet. his distress might tug at your heartstrings, it might make you wonder –– you might see him differently, now. your relationship might be strained. perhaps, you desire to reach out, offer the support he never asked for. perhaps, you do not know how. you are curious and worried, but the feelings of betrayal still linger on your bloodstream, whether you like it or not. should you ask for clarifications? step further into his personal space? should you step back, abstain from commenting anything? does he need your help? does he even care about what you think?

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ╱ you don’t know me at all, son lux + stop crying your heart out, oasis + all for us, labrinth & zendaya.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ lingering stares across the room ; desiring to speak but now knowing how ; sending text messages but not wanting to read the replies ; sheepish smiles & shared silences ; holding back your tears, even while near loved ones ; solitary nights with clouds covering every star. i worry for you, dear one, but you make it so hard to take care of you. when it rains, we hold each other’s hands. you taste sour, i taste bittersweet, but we still love. i would do it all for you, why won’t you ask for it?

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ sorry about the blood in your mouth. i wish it was mine . ❞

› 𝑿𝑽. THE DEVIL, ꓤƎꓥƎꓤSƎꓷ .

❝ calls on you to confront your inner fears to free yourself from the chains that bind you to your limiting beliefs and unhealthy attachments. it can also appear when you are going into your deepest, darkest places. you seek to understand your innermost shadows so you can either release them or integrate them into your life in a more constructive way . ❞

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐋 –––––– you struggle, and you struggle hard. you would never admit you’re going through a heavy time, perhaps not even to yourself. you move lightly, with grace, and no one questions the tightness of your smile. it’s easy, like this –– except you’re tired, and your bones ache, and you can barely sleep at night. it surprises you, however, once you find the bright emerald drinking by himself in one of the shitty bars you go whenever life gets rough. you sit by his side, you both share a sigh & a shot. he finds out one of your many secrets, and you discover some of his scars, and the pills on his pocket. you hold his hand, and he takes you home safely, kisses your forehead while bidding you good night. you share many text messages, and you meet up often. you get better at recognizing the signs of sadness on each other’s faces. life is not any happier, but now, at least–– you have an emergency contact. you can sob on his shoulders until you fall into unconsciousness. he smiles at you in the morning and brings you coffee. no more words are needed.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆�� ╱ shadows, warpaint + blinding, florence and the machine + haunt, banks.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ blue shades ; melancholy ; van gogh’s paintings ; scars that never fade away ; the dull ache of quiet piano strings echoing throughout an empty room at the darkest hour. inebriated confessions ; hushed conversations ; many bottles of whiskey, both cheap & incredibly expensive. not knowing much about each other, and yet discovering the hidden away pieces by yourself. becoming dependent on the emotion of being understood & seen. helping each other up and forward, even when there is no strength left. exhausted & broken smiles ; thunderstorms ; lending you my jacket and never getting it back, because you need as much comfort as you can get ; dancing in the rain & laughing about it hard and loud.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ i have no more room for grief for it is everywhere now . ❞

› 𝑿𝑽𝑰𝑰. THE STAR, ꓤƎꓥƎꓤSƎꓷ .

❝ can mean that you’ve lost faith and hope. you may be desperately calling out to the universe to give you some reprieve but struggling to see how the divine is on your side. take a moment to ask yourself what the deeper life lesson is, and how this is a blessing, not a punishment. the reversed star is a test of faith . ❞

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 –––––– the opal society, more than ever, seems like bullshit to you. you are angry, upset, distraught–– you can think of many words that echo your insatisfaction, and this initiation process no longer looks like something you want to be a part of. life is a burden heavy enough without a secret society wrapped in the mayhem of horny young adults tying you to statues. you definitely didn’t expect for dante, of all people, to become a guiding light –– the one that took his own initiation as a joke, broke the rules, and is known for frequently getting in trouble? how the fuck could that guy give you answers? truth be told, he doesn’t –– nothing is ever easy with him, it seems, and no surface-level impression seems to make him justice. the both of you now speak frequently, and he helps you stabilize your thoughts –– the guy can manage to give out some decent advice, at least, and you might even trust him, now. he likes pros & cons lists, and also vaguely pointing at the light at the end of the tunnel, just enough so it will fill you with hope. it is enough, for now.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ╱ i need some sleep, eels + i’ll die anyway, girl in red + i found, amber run.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ an unexpected discovery ; knowledge where you thought least possible to find. the trade of fears & unsure confessions ; gentle parental guidance into the shoes meant for you to fit. tender reassurances over the phone ; a pat on the back ; a small gift that means “ i am proud of you ”. rediscovering the love for one’s circlet through the eyes of another. silent promises ; candles & wishes you never shared before ; feeling as if you’ve known someone from your past lives & forever carrying them in your heart.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ you are in conflict with yourself. you are holding yourself in check. you are paralyzing yourself . ❞

› 𝑿𝑰𝑿. THE SUN, ꓤƎꓥƎꓤSƎꓷ .

❝ is calling to your inner child to come out and play. see it as your permission slip to leave behind your responsibilities, even just for a moment, and play. you may have experienced setbacks that damaged your enthusiasm and optimism and perhaps led you to question whether you can achieve what you set out to do . ❞

𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐋𝐋 –––––– dante is a disappointment to you. he let you down or hurt your feelings, and you can’t forgive him for that ( and you won’t even try, because he doesn’t deserve it ). there are plenty of good memories attached to his name, but it all has turned sour, and you want to watch it crash & burn. he might try and make amends, but you know he doesn’t even care for you, deep down –– he is trying for your sake, perhaps, but not because he nourishes an affection for you, and that stings. if it has to be like this, you want at least to let him know how irresponsible actions are not easily forgiven. a broken heart for another seems fair trade to you, and you no longer care for entertaining an endless discussion, as long as you’re on the winning side.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 ╱ view here.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 ╱ no one loves me & neither do i, them crooked vultures + motion sickness, phoebe bridgers + eyes, nose, lips, tablo.

𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 ╱ unanswered phone calls ; ghosting ; writing letters just to burn them. cold war & avoidance. knowing that you want what you can not have. marble statues ; an empty bed ; freezing fingers & no one to hold your hand. emptiness ; the feeling of being unworthy ; lighting a match once the power goes out & sitting alone at your couch, daydreaming. bittersweet intimacy. the fact that someone you now hate knows way too much about you. not letting go.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ╱ ❝ he fatally wounded me; that is, he gave me the wound that only love could repair . ❞

#opalstask #opalsplots #𝑰𝑰𝑰 : WANTED .#this is .. so long #im sorry if its messy and it doesnt make sense a

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tcswritings · 5 years

Text

Of porch swings and trampled flowers. (rewritten scene/WIP)

It has been two rather weird months for Orla and Mick and both are trying to make up their minds about that new unspoken thing between them while they’re also trying to have a great time at their friend’s birthday party.

(TW: several mentions of very! irresponsible alcohol abuse)

******

It was only nine thirty in the evening but the party was in full swing already. Orla O’Connell made one careful step after the other through the room full of people and eventually the narrow hallway, balancing some empty glasses on a tablet, hoping that she would get them to the kitchen safely and she was relieved when she saw Damien waiting for her.

“Made it!” she laughed. “There you go, quite a big haul, eh?”

“Ah! You’re a gem!” Damien said, taking the tablet from her. “I dunno, man. Was ‘Please put your empty glasses back in the kitchen!’ too much to ask?”

“I guess, yeah. People be people.” Orla shrugged and followed her friend into the kitchen. “Are you enjoying your party?”

“Yeah, it’s been great so far! Best thing is that I saw about ten people already whom I have never met before.”

Orla laughed and she gave Damien a little pat on his shoulder. “That’s amazing, your reputation precedes you!”

“Heh!” Damien laughed. “What reputation are you even talkin’ about?” He placed the tablet next to the sink and started putting the glasses into the dishwasher.

“That you throw great parties?”

“Aw, you’re cute! However, that would rather be Mick, not me, eh?”

Orla could suddenly feel her heart beating a little faster and she tried her best to hide her excitement about the mention of Mick’s name. She merely bit her lip and nodded and let out a little laugh, doing her best to look and act entirely casual. She knew she was being silly - it was nearly impossible for Damien to have the slightest idea about her feelings, as it was for everyone else.

“Have you seen him, by the way? I know he’s here but he kinda just showed up, said hi and I haven’t seen him ever since and... ”

Orla didn’t answer. She had just stopped listening as her thoughts started wandering off like they had so often in the recent past. Her feelings for Mick had changed a little over two months ago - at the New Year’s party, to be exact. Something had happened between them that evening. Well, at least something had happened with her. Orla hadn’t been able to figure out where exactly it came from; all she knew was that there had suddenly been a moment when, for some inexplicable reason, she had the strong desire to kiss her friend.

Orla remembered the moment well - they had sat in a round with some others and everyone laughed about a little anecdote that one of their friends had just told and Orla and Mick had looked at each other for a few moments, and she had been entirely startled by her own thoughts and she couldn’t help but feel that he had noticed and maybe even felt the same.

There was the catch, though: Orla had no idea at all if Mick felt the same. There had been times when she was almost certain that he did and there had also been times when she was certain that she was merely imagining things. There had also been times when she questioned her own feelings, when she asked herself whether she was maybe just particularly fond of the idea of him and her together, that her feelings weren’t real and that she was just projecting. She had always thought of Mick as exceptionally good-looking after all. He was also cute and surprisingly sensitive, and while he could be a handful (and there was just no way around admitting that) he was always very gentle with her. A gal can get carried away so easily. Especially this gal. Orla was more than aware of her tendency to crush on every handsome lad that would cross her way and she could usually shrug those moments off with a smile.

This whole situation felt different, though, and no matter from which perspective she tried to look at it - something had definitely changed. She could no longer be in the same room with Mick without feeling like she did and she figured that it was about time to do something about it albeit she still had no idea what that something could be. She could feel frustration rise up every so often and she was afraid that this weird state would somehow affect their friendship in the long run. Whatever the outcome may be, she needed to put an end to her pathetic secret pining... although she really preferred the outcome in which he would just smile at her and bend down so their faces would be close and-

“Orla?” Damien asked, gently poking her shoulder. “Hey, you still there?”

Startled, she turned her head. Oh. “Hm?”

“Where have you been?” Damien asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uhm, sorry, kinda just drifted off for a sec. What is it?”

“Have you seen Mick?” Damien repeated his question. “I’m wondering where he went and you guys usually stick together and-”

“We do?!” Orla’s eyes went wide. “Is that what you-? Erm, I mean- I dunno where he is. Sorry. Haven’t seen him.” she said quickly and after a few moments she added “Probably somewhere outside with Declan, Ryan and Daryl. Doing something stupid, as usual.”

Damien gave her a weird look. “Okay then?” he mumbled. “Guess he’ll show up sooner or later, eh? Well, anyway, thanks for getting me those glasses back.”

“Any time. Let’s just try and make sure those idiots out there don’t wreck your entire house. And hey, my offer still counts. If you need help cleaning up tomorrow just gimme a honk, right?”

“Aw, you’re the best. It’s fine, though, my parents are only coming back in a week and Jake and Jessie already promised to help. You just go and have fun! Hey, we’re gonna have a drink and a chat later, eh?”

“You bet we are!” Orla grinned, hoping that her little awkward moment would quickly slip Damien’s mind again. “I’m gonna have a stroll ‘round the house. Just yell ‘GIN TONIC!’, and I’ll be right with you!”

“Attagirl.”

*****

It was rather unusual that Mick would disappear from a friend’s party just like that and as she left the kitchen, Orla had already made the decision to look for him. She let her eyes wander around as she walked through the rooms but there was no sight of her friend. Not anywhere. It was rather impossible to oversee him after all so it seemed that he really wasn’t here and Orla began to feel really sad and disappointed.

Could it be that he had left already? That short after he showed up, just like that, without saying goodbye?

‘Nah, he wouldn’t.’ she thought to herself, and when she came back to the hallway once more from what felt like her fifth round around the house, she crossed her arms and leaned against the wall, huffing in frustration. There they were again - the doubts. The self-consciousness. The insecurity.

There was still a chance that Mick was simply avoiding her after all. Maybe he had somehow sensed her feelings. He was good at perceiving moods and other little things and as much as she cringed at the thought - it was most certainly a possibility. Maybe the thought of being with her had put him off so bad that he could no longer stand being around her. Orla let out another heavy-hearted sigh as a loud and familiar voice interrupted her thoughts.

“ORLA! Oh god, there you are! Get your phone ready, this is gonna be fun!” Declan called, jogging across the hallway over to her. He was a bit out of breath and needed a moment to rest, leaning against the wall by putting his hand to it and taking a deep breath before he went on. “Do us all a favour and film this. It’s grand, it’s shocking-”

“What is it?!” Orla batted Declan’s hands away as he started fumbling around with her handbag.

“Daryl just ate half a fuckin’ glass of Russian Pickled Cherries!” he told her, slightly appalled because she wasn’t as excited about that fact as he was.

“Ew, what?”

“And now he’s about to drown a bottle of whiskey for good measure. It’s gonna be so much fun, just come!” Declan took his sister by her shoulders now and pushed her through the hallway towards the living room.

“Not again! I can’t believe you guys still encourage him to do that shit, y’know, considering-“

“Aw, we’ll look after him, as usual.”

“One day, one o’ your stupid little ‘jokes’ will go wrong and put his life in-”

“I said we’ll look after him.” Declan interrupted. “We always do.”

Orla sighed. “And why can’t you use your own phone?”

“Dunno where it is, left it somewhere, just come on now! To the living room!”

“Why can’t you ever look after your things-”

“Now come!”

Just as she was about to protest some more, Orla gave it a second thought. Her little remark to Damien earlier didn’t come out of nowhere after all - if there was anything remotely stupid happening, Mick usually wasn’t far away and Daryl McKenna’s next attempt at drowning an entire bottle of whiskey while everyone was cheering for him was the epitome of stupid and while she didn’t enjoy the thought of it (or better said, the thought of what was bound to happen about half an hour later), Mick most certainly would.

The thought gave her hope. He had probably spent the last thirty minutes with Declan and Daryl and she was certain that she would eventually spot his face among the others in the living room. There was no way Mick O’Loughlin would miss a friend making a fool of themselves.

“Alright, alright, just get your hands off me already!” Orla hissed and freed herself from her brother’s grip. She eventually followed him back to the living room and she found that Declan hadn’t promised too much: most of the guests were already looking expectantly at the slightly chubby guy with the horn-rimmed glasses and the long and tousled red mane in the middle of the room, holding a bottle containing a clear golden liquid into the air. Daryl was putting on a little show, as usual, and even Orla couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of him. Daryl had a good portion of charisma, she had to give him that. He knew how to entertain people, it was something he had in common with her brother.

Among the watchers was also Damien, of course, apparently torn between amusement and concern. “My parents just refurnished this room so if you gotta puke, do it outside!” he called but Daryl merely laughed his remark off.

“Get your phone out already!” Declan urged, pushing Orla a little further into the room. She rolled her eyes and pulled her phone out of her handbag, unlocking it and handing it to her brother.

“Here. Do it yourself if it’s that important to you! And don’t you dare losing or breaking it!”

“Neat!” Declan beamed as he took the phone and Orla took the opportunity to look around the room again.

There were many familiar faces but she still couldn’t spot the face she was looking for. ‘How can that be? He must be here!’ she thought, and she felt her body becoming tense.

As Daryl did his thing, the crowd cheered, as excpected, and Orla watched him with a mix of disgust, concern and also deep respect for a few moments. She smirked, as she knew he would never make it. Drowning a bottle of whiskey without facing the worst consequences was nearly impossible for anyone and not even Daryl was careless enough to take a risk like that. He would give up soon, she knew him well enough and he had done it like that before. He was usually all hot air with nothing behind it, he would pretend to have a coughing fit or something and he would put the bottle down, leave the room in a hurry and hope for the best.

At some point Orla didn’t feel like watching any longer and she certainly didn’t feel cheerful either.

“I’m out of here!” she called and patted her brother’s shoulder but Declan didn’t even take notice of her as he was concentrating on capturing the rather disturbing scene on film, probably already thinking of ways to make it go viral and Orla scoffed before making her way out of the room.

She eventually found herself back in the large kitchen. Damien had switched the lights off and Orla could now see all the little lights outside in the garden that lit the way to the Callaghan’s back porch.

Perfect. A little bit of fresh air, a smoke and some solitude would certainly help her to feel more relaxed again. She took another can of beer from the freezer, carefully opened the glass door and stepped outside, taking a deep breath. It was surprisingly warm for an evening in March and Orla strolled along the way to the back porch, enjoying the little rush of fresh air and as she gazed into the clear sky, she couldn’t help but smile at the twinkling stars.

The porch was lit by a few lights on the ground. As soon as she reached it, Orla could hear a faint creak and she drew her eyebrows together in confusion but when she saw what, or better said, who had caused the noise, she let out a surprised laugh.

*****

“There you are!”

Mick O’Loughlin sat on the porch swing all by himself, slowly moving it back and forth with his legs. When he heard Orla talk, he looked up but his expression was difficult to read. He didn’t say anything and merely shrugged.

“You’re missing all the action, y’know.” Orla tried again after a few moments.

“What action?”

“Daryl emptied an entire glass of Russian Pickled Cherries and now he’s attempting to drown an entire bottle of whiskey.”

“Again?”

“He’s Daryl. We always knew he’d try it again at some point.”

“True. He’s stupid.”

“Yeah, he is.”

Silence.

“What’s it with you today?” Orla eventually asked, moving a little closer to the porch.

“Nothin’.”

“You been sitting here all night or what?”

“Kind of.”

Mick still didn’t really look at her and Orla felt the frustration rising inside her again. She began to worry whether he even wanted her around.

“I brought beer! Can I sit with you for a bit? Or do you want me to go?”

“Mh-mh.” Mick shook his head.

"You don’t want me to sit?” Orla asked carefully. He was obviously in one of his weird moods.

“I don’t want you to go.”

Orla smiled and instantly felt a little better.

“Okay then. Move over.”

At least he could stand being around her so his mood probably wasn’t about her. She stepped on the porch and sat down next to him, looking at his profile for a few moments. Still curious about what had caused his mood, she took the half-smoked cigarette from his fingers and took a drag.

Together they moved the swing back and forth in silence a few times before Orla dared to speak again.

“What’s up with you?” she asked, her voice soft now.

“Nothin’.”

“It ain’t nothing! I’ve known you since forever, don’t you forget that?”

“Just not really in a party mood, I guess.” he sighed.

“You’re still here, though. What’s keeping you from going home if you’re not feelin’ it?”

Mick now looked at her, raising an eyebrow, and Orla facepalmed herself in her thoughts. “I mean, I don’t want you to go, of course, but, I mean, you could?” After a few moments she added: “I’m sure everyone would understand.”

Again, silence.

“Hey, I’m worried. You’re being weird!”

Still no answer.

“Come on, you gotta give me something to work with, Mick!” Orla now cried out impatiently, half-amused, half-desperate.

Mick now groaned and leaned back, stretching out his long legs. “It’s nothing!” he insisted and snatched his cigarette back from Orla’s hands, taking one last drag before flicking it away.

“I don’t believe you! You’re so bad at lying, it’s ridiculous!”

“Well, fine, there’s somethin’ but I dun’ - I mean. I dunno how t’ bring it up without soundin’ like a total fucktard.”

‘Fine, we’re making progress’, Orla thought. “Hey, you’re talkin’ to me and you never cared about that before. Speaking fucktard is what we do, it’s our thing!” she laughed.

“Not this time, though.”

“Why not? Just tell me what’s wrong, please!” she pleaded again, starting to feel really worried.

“ Orla, I- god, it’s so stupid.” Finally, he looked into her face. “Did I, like... do anythin’? Have I somehow pissed y’ off or so? Have ya been avoidin’ me?”

Orla frowned. The question took her by surprise. “What? What makes you think so?”

“I dunno either, it’s just -” Mick bit his lip. “I dunno, I feel y’ have been tryin’ to avoid me.”

“Wha- no. What? No! No, I-” Orla stammered. This conversation had just taken an unexpected turn. “To be honest, I was- I was wondering the same. About you, I mean. That you’ve been avoidin’ me! At least sometimes.”

“What? Why would I do that?”

“Well, why would I?”

They looked at each other for a few moments, dumbstruck, and Orla’s heart started beating faster again. She still didn’t know what to make of this moment but at least it seemed that she hadn’t been the only one noticing that something was very, very different.

“I dunno.” Mick sighed, looking back to his hands in his lap. “Shit’s been hella weird since New Year. Right? Tell me I’m not just seein’ things, please.”

Alright. Now was the moment. Orla felt an odd rush of relief washing over her and she moved a little closer - no matter what, they would settle this now and she would finally be able to move on.

At least that was what she hoped.

“You’re not seeing things.” she admitted. “I dunno either but... oh lord.”

Orla looked into Mick’s eyes. The porch was lit just enough so she could see a little spark in them and her little wave of relief instantly faded and the sheer nervousness was back.

This was probably the hardest thing she would ever have to do.

She took another deep breath. “I’ve been... getting lost in thoughts every now and then, y’know. About you. And me. And what I would like to do but... can’t because I’m an anxious wimp.”

“Thoughts? Y' mean... ?” he asked, surprised, but otherwise his expression was once again hard to read.

“Ugh, I don’t know, okay? I just- I’ve been wondering if we could maybe- I don’t know.” Orla looked away again and closed her eyes. Her hands were shaking. No, her entire body was shaking. She was really close to having a panic attack now and, all of a sudden, the prospect of a few more months filled with secret pining wasn’t all too bad.

This particular moment had been so much easier in all her wild theories. Also, much more elegant. She felt like an idiot - this was huge and she didn’t feel ready at all. “Just forget about it, okay? Maybe we should just go back inside and see what-”

She stopped mid-sentence because Mick had just reached over and taken one of her hands in his, intertwining his fingers with hers. Her heart skipped a beat.

Oh my god! she thought. What is happening? Is this really happening?

“If I’m guessin’ right now, well.” he shrugged. “I’ve been a fuckin’ wimp, too.”

“How can you be so cool and calm about all this?” Orla gasped, still not believing that this was actually happening.

Mick now let out a laugh, sounding baffled. “Wow, what? I’m not. It’s just- it kinda makes sense now, doesn’t it?” He gently brushed her thumb with his and squeezed her hand gently.

Orla closed her eyes again, breathing in and enjoying the affectionate little gesture. This was all new territory now. It didn’t even feel wrong. In fact, it felt very, very right.

“So I take it you’ve been, well... wondering, too?”

“Aye, I’ve been wonderin’.”

Could it really be this easy? Was this really the way to solve the issue? Shouldn’t there be more talking and elaborating? A battle plan or maybe at least a little bit more of thinking it through?

“I still don’t know if this- if we- if this is a good idea.” Orla stammered. “We’ve been friends for so long now, don‘t you think it’s weird? At least a little bit?”

Mick shrugged before he eventually tilted down his head a little, leaning in for a much anticipated kiss and although her heart (and lips) had been longing for this moment for weeks now, Orla wasn’t quite convinced yet.

“What if this goes wrong? I couldn’t stand to lose-” she breathed out but as her lips accidentally brushed his now, she was unable to go on. Her eyes were still closed and her lips slightly parted.

“Why would it go wrong?” he murmured back, putting his free hand to the back of her neck, gently tickling it. “Please dun’ leave me hangin’ now.”

Orla let out a funny little whimper, somewhere between fear and excitement. She knew there was no going back now anyway, too much had happened between them within the last five minutes alone, and so she finally let it happen.

The kiss was everything she had hoped it would be and more; sweet and full of longing and it tasted like so much more and she could feel an entire army of butterflies going wild in her stomach and after a little while, Orla drew back her hand that was still in his, reaching up and cradling his face in both of her hands now, losing herself in the bliss of the moment.

When they broke apart, only a few inches, after what felt like five hours later, merely to catch some air and not actually letting go of each other, Orla chuckled, playing with Mick’s hair at the back of his head. “Shouldn’t we go back inside?” she managed to say, her breath shaking and her heart still beating fast.

“Ya wanna go back inside?” he murmured against the side of her neck, nuzzling it, sending a tingling sensation down her spine.

“If you keep doing this, I’d rather drag you into that garden shed over there and do a little more to you than this.” she gasped.

“Temptin’.” Mick smiled against her skin as he proceeded to gently tilting up her chin, giving her another kiss and biting her lower lip.

‘Holy shit, where did he learn that?!’ Orla thought to herself, eventually pulling him into another kiss, a rather hot one this time. Her hand crept under his shirt and when he didn’t object (not that she expected him to), she let the other one follow, enjoying the warmth of his skin against her.

“Damien already asked about you.” Orla murmured after another little while, in between heated kisses.

Mick eventually pulled away and looked at her in disbelief. “What? We’re kinda in the middle of somethin’ here and y' think about Damien?”

“Nah, I just- it’s kinda rude, isn’t it?” Orla shrugged, biting her lip now. “He’s our friend and it’s not even close to midnight and we’re party guests after all... I dunno, I think we’re being rude.”

“Eh, so I guess that means ‘Bye bye, garden shed.’” Mick moaned in utter dismay, leaning against the backrest of the swing again and letting out a dramatic little sigh, but Orla knew he was only mocking her.

“You’re a horrible person, O’Loughlin. Alright, five more minutes. Go!” she encouraged him, making a little gesture with her hands that told him to come closer again.

“Naw, y' can’t just switch me on and off and on again, like fuckin’ television?”

“Why are you being weird now? Just do what I say for once?” Orla reached for his face again, cackling and trying to pull him close.

Mick chimed in laughing now, pulling away from her as far as he could. “I’m a human being, I have feelings!”

“Stop fighting and. Make. Out. With me. NOW!” she urged, laughing and making a silly kissy face at him. “I know you wanna! MWAH!”

“Not when ya make that face!” Mick now tried to push her face away with one hand (as carefully as he could, of course - he didn’t want to hurt her after all).

“You’re terrible, I hate you!” Orla giggled.

“Naw, ya don’t- OW, fuck OFF!” Mick cried out and swiftly pulled his hand away from Orla’s face - she had just bitten his thumb. He looked at his hand and then back at Orla, eyes wide in shock.

“That’s what you get for being like this, arsehole? You can’t win this anyway, just give in to me and my charming advances.”

“Tsk.” Mick scoffed but he was all too happy to oblige. Orla scooted closer, pulling him into another kiss, sweet and gentle again and she wondered why she even brought up the idea of going back inside and joining the party again - she didn’t really feel like it after all.

Just five more minutes. she thought. Maybe ten. Maybe sixty.

Just as she was getting lost in the moment again, a loud noise pierced the air. The sound of what appeared to be shattering pottery had both of them jump apart in shock but that alone was nothing compared to the following howling of some very familiar voices and both Orla and Mick looked over to where the noises were coming from.

“AYYEE, SORRY BUD. Didn’ see ye over there, man!” Daryl cried out, failing to supress a laugh.

“YOU BROKE A POT!” Ryan Boone, Daryl’s best friend, stated the obvious.

“SHHHH I KNOooOOoooOW!” Daryl hissed, still not able to stop his giggling. “We can’t let Damien know, he’ll be MAD!”

Orla and Mick looked at each other. As much as both would’ve loved to keep their moment up - the mood was definitely ruined for now.

“I dunno know about you, but I really dun’ need these two idiots seein’ us like this.” Mick mumbled, biting his lip.

“Me neither.” Orla sighed. “Okay, you go and look what those morons are doing over there and I sneak my way around the bushes and pretend to come out of the house, how’s that?”

“Sounds good.” Mick agreed and as Orla was about to get up, he held her back. “Eh, Orla?”

“Mh?”

“One for the road.” He pulled her down into one last kiss. It may have been the shortest of the few they had shared until now, but it was the one that almost knocked Orla off her feet and left her breathless and dizzy and for a second, the garden shed option came back to her mind but she did her best to brush it off. Not now. It was all going so fast and while she hated the interruption, she decided to take the chance to recollect herself a little. Couldn’t hurt.

“Now go, I see ya in a minute.” Mick stood up and gave her one last smile before he darted around the corner.

*****

“What the fuck are you doin’ here, man?” Mick called at his two friends as he stepped around the corner.

“HE’S ALIVE!” Daryl roared as he recognised the tall and slim figure walking their way. He stumbled towards his friend, arms wide open.

“No, Daryl, NO, you’re too drunk to walk, come back!” Ryan called after his friend. “Oh my god, just listen for once. Seriously, though, Mick, where have you been?”

“Didn’t feel well, needed a minute.” Mick answered as Daryl flung his arms around him. “So I heard ya did the whiskey thing again, how’d that go for ya?”

“He’s drunk and broke a pot.” Ryan pointed at the pile of fragments to his feet.

“YeahIdid.” Daryl slurred, eyes closed, quite obviously not feeling all too well.

Looking at the mess at Ryan’s feet, Mick bit his lip, now dragging the drunk Daryl with him who was still clinging firmly to his waist. “Yeah, you did.”

“I didn’ meanto...” Daryl murmured, apparently having a hard time to stand on his feet.

Mick patted his head a little, trying his best not to laugh. “Naw, ‘course not.”

“What’s going on here, guys?” a familiar female voice called from across the lawn. Orla quickly walked over to the three of them, her eyes narrow in confusion. She looked at the scene, putting her hands to her waist and letting out a sigh.

“Daryl’s drunk, Ryan’s desperate and that pot down ‘ere is fucked.” Mick curtly explained the situation to her. He couldn’t help himself - he flashed her a little smile which she returned. It’s not like Ryan or Daryl had any clue about what had happened between them just a few minutes ago.

Orla felt it would be wiser to get back to acting like nothing happened, though, so she regained her posture and when she looked around the garden, something else caught her attention. “Oh NO, Daryl, you trampled all the flowers!” she cried. “Damien will be pissed, why do you always make such a huge mess wherever you go?”

“Idin’meanto!” Daryl whined. Apparently he had just reached the stage in which he could merely let out weird noises.

Orla sighed. “Declan’s drunk as well. I don’t know how he did it within the short time I let him out of sight but he’s singin’ along to Queen with Jessie-”

“DECLAN! I’M COMIN’!” Daryl suddenly cried out, eventually letting go of Mick and stumbling towards the house with flailing arms. He looked hilarious.

“Daryl!” Ryan called after him again in despair. “Watch out- ah, fuck it, you never listen anyway.” He looked at Mick and then at Orla, and his face lit up as he took a giant step over to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. “You look ravishing as usual, Miss O’Connell. You’re free tonight?!”

“What-” Orla grimaced but Mick already stepped in.

“Alright, time to get back in and take care of Daryl and Declan!” he said firmly, squeezing himself between the two, putting an arm around each of them. “C’mon, let’s go! Go!”

And as they made their way back to the like that, Orla couldn’t help herself. To let him know that their moment wasn’t over just yet, she slid her hand into the back pocket of Mick’s jeans. He didn‘t look at her but she could see him smile and as she felt his finger brushing the side of her neck she was certain that the remainder of this evening was going to be just grand.

*****

“So, Damien and I put Daryl into the guest room. He’s sound asleep.” Mick told Orla as he took her by her upper arm, guiding her around the corner into the kitchen.

“Thank god.” Orla sighed. “He should really stop acting like that.”

“Aye, he should, but what can ya do. Any news from Declan?”

“Well, Jessie said he’s cradling his Jameson and has regressed to some weird toddler state. He squeaks and cries any time someone tries to take his bottle away.”

Mick closed his eyes and bit his lip as he tried not to laugh. “Beautiful.”

“However, I regret to inform you that Ryan and Jessie have now claimed the garden.” Orla sighed. “I don’t know what exactly they’re doing over there but it looked like some sort of a séance or so. They’re whispering really weird incantations together.”

“What the hell?”

“Just... don’t ask.” Orla shook her head.

“Jessie’s so cute when she’s drunk.”

“I know, right?” Orla laughed and she looked back up to Mick again. “Well. I’d love to pick up where we left off earlier but all the rooms are full of people.”

“Yeah. Ya never know who’s watchin’.”

“The kitchen is empty, though.” Orla smiled. She looked down and up again, taking the chance to grab Mick by his belt and dragging him further into the kitchen.

He played along and followed her with a little smirk but nodded at the glass door, towards the garden where Jessie and Ryan were currently having what looked like a serious laughing fit. “What about those two out there?”

“Ah, they’re busy necromancing.” Orla shrugged, letting her hands wander up his chest before standing up on her tiptoes and putting her arms around his neck.

“They could still see us?” Mick noted but he found himself not really caring that much as he pulled Orla a little closer now.

“The kitchen light is off and hey, if they should see anything, we can still tell them that they’ve been seeing ghosts.”

“Hm!” That was enough for an answer and Mick threw his doubts overboard with a little shrug before he smiled and bent down to kiss Orla once more and just before the two could get lost in the moment again, they heard someone howl nearby.

“WOW, it’s dark in here!” a female voice cried.

Orla and Mick jumped apart again, quick enough before the intruder turned on the light, both letting out a faint-but-exasperated groan.

“Oh my god...” Mick moaned and he and Orla both shielded their eyes from the light. “What the fuck, who are you?”

The girl let out a stupid laugh. “I’m Linda. I’m Damien’s classmate. And yoouu... are incredibly cute. A little rude, but cute.” Linda slurred as she made a step towards Mick, who merely frowned and backed away.

“And you and I need to leave,” Orla interrupted her. “You’re drunk and you should sit.” she added, trying to put on her nicest smile as she grabbed Linda by her shoulders, pretending that she was just a gal worried about another gal in solidarity. As she guided the girl out of the kitchen, she turned around to Mick who merely put on a slightly disgruntled expression that told her “Go off, it’s fine.” before he crossed his arms and leaned back against the kitchen counter.

Orla tried to mouth the words “I’ll be right back!” at him but when Linda made a weird retching noise, she made a face in disgust, “Eugh.”, and darted out of the kitchen to the next loo as quickly as she could, pulling the drunk girl with her.

*****

“Alright, I guess she’s fine, I put her into the room where Daryl is and-” Orla looked around the kitchen that was still lit but Mick was no longer there.

“Shit.” she grumbled as she let her shoulders drop in frustration, putting her hands to her hips and pressing her lips into a thin line. The Callaghans had a large house and yet it was practically impossible for two people finding some privacy.

“Damn you, Linda.” Orla muttered and she turned off the light as she left the kitchen, eager to look for Mick a second time this evening.

*****

(to be continued)

#orla #mick #orla x mick #made some minor edits and will maybe do some more later once I'm home #god I love my idiots so much lol #I could write six books about them and the side idiots alone

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jasonblossomsghost · 7 years

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1-100.

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify 100%2. Is your room messy or clean? I'm actually switching rooms rn so messy I guess3. What color are your eyes? Everyone says they're hazel but they're Brown4. Do you like your name? Why? Yeah I do I chose it lmao5. What is your relationship status? single af6. Describe your personality in 3 words or less. I'll describe it in one: Bad™7. What color hair do you have? Brown8. What kind of car do you drive? Color? I don't drive but when I start I'll be driving a white Chevy Impala9. Where do you shop? Charlotte Russe, Ross Dress for Less, Forever 21 occasionally, Goodwill with friends sometimes10. How would you describe your style? It's kinda all over the place but 80s-90s & gay11. Favorite social media account? Tumblr12. What size bed do you have? Used to have a twin but ya boi is getting a full 13. Any siblings? Yh I have 714. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why? On my own island bc I can control who's there15. Favorite Snapchat filter? Dog bc I'm a basic ass bitch16. Favorite makeup brand(s)? I don't wear makeup on a regular basis so I don't have one17. How many times do you shower a week? 3-4 anymore and my hair dries out18. Favorite TV show? rn it's Shameless19. Shoe size? men's 5, women's 6-7.520. How tall are you? 5'321. Sandals or sneakers? sneakers I actually rly hate sandals22. Do you go to the gym? Nah but I work out at home23. Describe your dream date. I get to choose the music for the car ride, a museum or something cute like that, afterwards we get ice cream bc I fucking love ice cream24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? $0.00 but my mom & sister owe me $250 lmao25. What color socks are you wearing? not wearing any atm26. How many pillows do you sleep with? Only one27. Do you have a job? What do you do? Nope but I've applied for jobs and I'm waiting to get calls back rip28. How many friends do you have? I'm really bad at telling the difference between friends & acquaintances but maybe like 10??29. What's the worst thing you have ever done? I was born lmao30. What's your favorite candle scent? Vanilla 100%31. 3 favorite "boy" names: Noah (ever Noah I've ever met is super nice), Kai (do y'all remember when every male OC was named Kai??), Andddd Colin (bc of Colin Morgan and also this really nice boy I knew named Colin when I was little)32. 3 favorite "girl" names: Janelle (y'all know why lmao), Nadia, and Gabby (these are all names of girls I've liked before/currently like whoops)33. Favorite actor? Noel Fisher probably34. Favorite actress? Hayley Kiyoko35. Who is your celebrity crush? I HAVE A LOT but probably Hayley Kiyoko loml36. Favorite movie? Scott Pilgrim vs The World or GBF37. Do you read a lot? What's your favorite book? I used to but then that mental illness hit me like a brick lmaoooooo and probably Remembering the Good Times - Richard Peck38. Money or brains? probably brains39. Do you have a nickname? What is it? Yeah I have a few which are Or, Orio, and Bear40. How many times have you been to the hospital? I went to the hospital a lot as a kid so I have no idea41. Top 10 favorite songs: atm it's Imaginary Parties - SUPERFRUIT, Praying - Kesha, There For You - Martin Garrix & Troyes Sivan, Ignition/Do You Like Drugs - Phoebe Ryan, Suit and Jacket - Judah & The Lion, K. - Cigarettes After Sex, Liability - Lorde, If i ever feel better - Phoenix, Humongous - Declan McKenna, and Get Bummed Out - Sports42. Do you take any medications daily? I'm supposed to take allergy pills + a preventative inhaler but I don't43. What is your skin type? p normal but occasionally dry/oily44. What is your biggest fear? ever seen Psycho? yeah that45. How many kids do you want? NONE I'D FUCK THEM UP46. What's your go to hair style? something I like to call "dude did u even brush it?" (the answer is no)47. What type of house do you live in? two story house with an apartment over the garage48. Who is your role model? Amelia Earhart, we were born in the same town + I too wanna fucking disappear49. What was the last compliment you received? @just-call-me-hot-topic called me hot which is Incorrect™50. What was the last text you sent? "No" to my sister51. How old were you when you found out santa wasn't real? 4 or 5. My mom told me he died in a blizzard but it's okay bc I fucking hated Santa52. What is your dream car? Tesla I love clean energy53. Opinion on smoking? kill urself if u want but keep it away from my asthmatic ass + literally everyone else who doesn't want to inhale poison54. Do you go to college? I'm technically enrolled in college and I take college classes so yes55. What is your dream job? Founder of a nonprofit for LGBT+ youth56. Would you rather live in rural areas or suburbs? I've lived in both so I can safely say suburbs57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Nah my hair is too picky58. Do you have freckles? Yep59. Do you smile for pictures? I don't know how to smile60. How many pictures do you have on your phone? 5561. Have you ever peed in the woods? I've never been in the woods for more than like an hour so nope62. Do you still watch cartoons? Hell yeah63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy's or McDonald's? I can't have either anymore but it used to be Wendy's64. Favorite dipping sauce? I actually hate dipping sauce65. What do you wear to bed? either a sports bra + underwear + shorts or underwear + a t-shirt66. Have you ever won a spelling bee? yeah actually in the 5th grade, I won a dictionary67. What are your hobbies? being gay, listening to music68. Can you draw? Once a 12 year old laughed at me for 10 minutes bc of a tree I drew so no69. Do you play an instrument? No I wish70. What was the last concert you saw? I've never been to a concert rip71. Tea or coffee? Tea72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks73. Do you want to get married? maybe but that's contingent on finding someone who likes me which is Unlikely74. What is your crush's first and last initial? JG75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? if they have a cool last name, sure76. What color looks best on you? my family says moss green77. Do you miss anyone right now? yh lmao78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed, open makes me paranoid af79. Do you believe in ghosts? I'm not sure but I believe in energy so I guess80. What is your biggest pet peeve? my sister likes to take all my stuff out of the shower when she takes a shower then doesn't put it back and it makes me homicidal81. Last person you called? My mom82. Favorite ice cream flavor? Birthday Cake (but only the halotop brand)83. Regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I'm gay what do you think85. What shirt are you wearing? A gray v-neck t-shirt not that interesting lmao86. What is your phone background? Will Roland in a turtle shell87. Are you outgoing or shy? Somewhere in between I think. Like I'm outgoing if I know the other person is more nervous than me88. Do you like it when people play with your hair? fuck yes89. Do you like your neighbors? All I know about them is the cops are at their house a lot but sure90. Do you wash your face? At night? In the morning? In the morning when I'm in the shower91. Have you ever been high? Not like intentionally but there have been times where I've taken too many doses of my inhaler and cold medicines when I've had bronchitis that could probably classify as being high. If it does, I cry at children's movies a lot when I'm high92. Have you ever been drunk? Nope93. Last thing you ate? ice cronch cronch94. Favorite lyrics right now: "I get nervous when I'm happy because what comes up must come down" (aka my whole existence)95. Summer or winter? Summer bc less stress and my depression is more manageable96. Day or night? Night97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk 100000%98. Favorite month? November99. What is your zodiac sign? Scorpio100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom when I was having a panic attack & she was yelling @ me

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