#Of course the former ain’t bad imma change that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onmyyan · 7 months

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🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon, here again! #5

Ya gonna have to make a divider folder for me or somethin for all my posts I’m submitting to ya at this rate…

Anywho as my brain was rottin n everythin I was sent into another eureka episode of delulu with Ashley Hunt. I’m so sorry but no not really cuz I love this man and I’d let him tie me up to him like a cock sleeve. Like seriously I wish this man would geta larger fan base too cuz he deserve a harem. Imma be whore #1 for him though plz…

So back to me thoughts. Imma be like those people jumpin into multiverses and constantly explorin AUs, cause it was another AU idea I had with meetin Ash. We got your original story reader, then the AU of hardcore city girl reader yours truly made (check out my submits #2 and #3 for new viewers), and now we got…

Bimbo AU reader!!!

Yea we samplin lots of different dishes hun! Cause sometimes I just wanna be “no thoughts head empty” ya know? But like not in a horrible misogynistic way…Like hardcore city girl was fun, but now let’s see something that’s more opposite of her character and see how Ash deals with this new character/reader personality.…so dontcha worry this new AU won’t be bad. I hope not…

You know the drill, story starts by us comin out to the small ass town in the countryside n livin with our grandma. In this AU though, grannie is doin just fine. It’s us who’s fucked. Ya see we got our hearts broken yet again in our home of the big city. We’re not that smart ya see…and cause of that we’re constantly taken advantage of by romantic prospects. What can I say? We’re a hopeless romantic at heart and wanna be whisked away be a handsome Prince on a horse…

So grannie thought it’d be good for us to leave the city for a while and come to the country to take a break from all the bullshit. We oblige cause there ain’t anyone who’d ever take advantage of us in a small town in the hicks. And some of our former suitors have been real bratty to us lately and our friends think distance might be the only solution at this point. Maybe we can become a better or new person by the time our stay with grannie is over. We could get whisked away to the land of Oz and getta new brain perhaps…

So now we all cheery comin out of our vehicle and unpackin our luggage. Ashley Hunt pops up of course and introduces himself. We get a lil flustered cause he big big at 6’6” and got the muscles to match. We polite n everythin and introduce ourselves too. He offers up to fix parts of the house (as per usual story sequence) and before we give him our answer, a small pocket journal falls from the luggage we’re carrying onto the floor. It’s guide our friends helped compile for us on “how to survive and make smart decisions” cause we just that naive and stupid…

It filled with tips, advice, and scenarios of what to do when a man does xyz. It even got a chart that you can answer yes, no, and the like that points you down to the final verdict at the bottom. We look over to the sound of the falling object and see the pocket journal and that enough for us to remember our poor decision making skills. So we just say “no” like our friends back at home have been drillin into us to practice sayin to men when we confused or can’t make a sound decision at the moment…

Ash is a bit taken aback at this and is asking us if we got someone else already comin to do repairs. We respond “no” again. Then he asks if we’re gonna do it ourselves. We say “no” again. And then we kinda just stand there in awkward silence for a few moments as Ash himself is just tryin to process what just happened himself…

We tell him it was nice meetin him and he gets the hint and bids adieu sayin that he hopes he can see more of us. And if we change our minds or need anythin from him to not hesitate to come n get him. “No” is what we reply with a smile cause we stupidly on auto pilot repeat mode still. Ash is just stupefied himself at this point wonderin what he did wrong as the door closes in his face and he got a while to think ridin home…

It’s been a couple days n we gotten all settled in. We haven’t gone into town yet and decided we should explore. We’ve also been running out of some food so it’d be good to pick up some groceries too while we at it. We go to town surprisingly easily given the single direct road from the house. Thank goodness for our poor brain…And as we shoppin in the small store mindin our business we get harassed by the town creep. A old poor drunk who tends to only come out durin late nights to a bar. But lucky us he had to come out this fine afternoon…

He tells us how we must be new in town since he hasn’t seen our pretty face n all. We just smile and take his compliment cause we really do think he bein nice to us. Drunky of course takes this as an invite and starts gettin handsy and our danger signals finally start flarin. And whose hand comes in to save us? Our country beau Ash!

He easily pulls drunky back tellin him how his ma and pa raised an animal for doin something like that to a lady and throws him out of the store onto the street. Ash quickly comes back to us askin if we ok and all. We nod and tell him this ain’t our first rodeo dealin with men like that. To which we don’t notice the brief flashin murderous glint in his eyes as we ‘em this. He pushes the conversation to a better place askin how we’re enjoying town n everythin. And we happily tell him we likin the area so far. Easily forgettin the events that just occurred as we continue our shoppin with Ash by our side…

The conversation ends when our shoppin does n we tell Ash we should get home. He says goodbye he himself happy that we were able to be close and our second encounter wasn’t like our first again. Much more pleasant. And as we drivin back home we wanna do somethin nice for Ash since he saved us. But then we think back to our pocket journal and gotta consult it first…

As we lookin through it we realize that it doesn’t have anything for what to do when a man saves you from danger…Sure it got what to do when a man offers you a free ride in his vehicle, when a man offers you a free drink or meal, or when a man gifts you somethin really expensive. But nothin about a man savin you from another man…So what the fuck do we do?

We ask our grannie for advice since she gotta have something good. She asks us what is our head tellin us what he might like. We respond with “blowin him? Men always told me that’s when they liked me the most” Grannie is not amused. She is also concerned for our survival out in the world. She suggests we bake him a pie since she a bit old fashioned thinkin that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And you can’t ever go wrong with somethin sweet…

We reluctantly agree as she really really pushes it as she obviously doesn’t want us going down the other route. And so we spend the rest of the afternoon bakin a cherry pie for Ash for me to take to him later in the evenin when he’s probably for sure done with farm work. Night comes and we going alone to Ash’s residence. And luckily it also a one way road down from grannie’s so our poor brain won’t break down and malfunction. We go up to Ash’s large large house. He got a big farm too. And so we knock his door with the door knocker and it a cute shoe horse…

Ash is genuinely surprised to see us. And so late at night too. He initially woulda thought somethin bad had happened if not for the pie in front of us pushing it to him with a smile. “I made you a cherry pie. Well grannie and I did. As thanks for helping me out today at the market,” we say in the cutest way possible that’s about to make him cumbust. “Grannie wouldn’t let me thank you how I woulda wanted to.” Ash grins back wonderin how you’d thank him, and before he can ask outa curiosity we keep talkin…”I would’ve blown you as thanks. But if you don’t like the cherry pie I can still blow you if you’d like. I can do it in your bed too if it’d help you go to sleep too”…

Ash is just a stunned red hot blushin mess at this point and he swears his precum is probably sleeping out of him by now and if he moves an inch he’ll probably nut in his pants. We ask him if he ok and if he’s got a fever since he so red and not movin, and Ash just a stumblin mess of words n expressions. He eventually excuses himself and invites us in and prepares dishware and cutlery for us to try the cherry pie. We start apologizin and tellin him that he ain’t gonna like it since we aren’t good cooks and all. And he reassures us that he’s sure that it’ll taste delightful…

Now it’s uwu boohoo story time as we tell Ash that no one ever likes our cookin or bakin as it’s always tasted bad. All the men we were with previously also tried to get us to cook or bake for them at some point and were also disgusted with us and our abilities that we just ended up eating out all the time before the eventual break up for somethin else. So we tellin Ash with our eyes gettin a bit wet n glassy that this is our last warnin and we happy to give him a proper thanks instead. And Ash gives us one look before devouring the whole cherry pie easily himself and then sayin “it was the best cherry pie I’ve ever had.” And we just stunned n waitin for him to throw up n topple over or somethin. But he doesn’t. Instead they’re a small bite left and he picks it up with his fork and pushes it up to our mouth. Tellin us to try it. We open our mouths and eat it. And it’s not bad? Ash smiles at us and tells us to have more faith in ourselves. We smile back too…

Ash asks if we need any help gettin back home since it’s dark out and he’s ok with walkin home n stuff. We good and leave promptly back home. And while we wantin to feel good from everythin that happened we don’t let ourselves as we read our pocket journal almost every night. Advice n notes from friends actin as our conscious tellin us we always fall for men who give us the slightest attention and men are scummy liars who can fake about anythin if it means gettin some kitty. So we just try to tell ourselves that Ash is probably fakin it and is vomitin the pie probably right now. But we tasted it…the cherry pie did taste good…

And so for the next while with grannie we wanna try cookin and bakin more. Much to her delight. And we really really tryin. Tryin have more faith in ourselves n everythin. We makin everythin from cute sandwiches, cookies, to hand made pasta. Really becomin versatile in different dishes for any persons stomach. Soon enough we meet Ash again when we on a grocery run and can’t help but blush a little n hope he doesn’t notice. He asks how we’ve been and we happily tell him everythin. He says he’d be honored to try more of our cookin and bakin if we have any spare leftovers or need to use a taste tester much to our laughter…

We part ways once again and going home for the night and cookin dinner with grannie wouldn’t you know…the fuckin house really could’ve used some repairs here and there cause the damn oven gave out before bed. So grannie having her old timey mentality just told us to go over to Ash’s the next morning and ask him to borrow his kitchen for the day to make a few meals for the week for us. And it’d be good practice for me to go at cookin n bakin alone. We wanna say “no” as our conditioning from our friends taught us to, but grannie persists and isn’t taking no for an answer. So mornin comes and we gotta leave early to catch Ash before he leaves work early for the farm…

We drive n go up to Ash’s at dawn hopin he’ll be up at least and we haven’t completely woken him from bed. Much to our delight he’s up and wonderin what we need. Playfully sayin that it’s awful early to be bringin him food but he’ll always be ready to accept anythin from us. We explain the situation to him and luckily he agrees a bit too excitedly. He jumps and easily brings in some of the bags of food we brought in the car into the house and onto the kitchen counter for us. We start preparin food and Ash just sits back and watches us for a bit with a grin that’d make fish forget how to swim. Tellin us eventually that he needs to get goin but to make ourselves at home…

So the day progresses and sure enough it’s afternoon and Ash comes back into the house thinkin he can take a quick shower since some of the bulls he had to wrestle were especially bitchy today and tossed him around in the environment a little more than usual. And lo and behold when the door opens Ash hears from us “yay! You’re back! I was wonderin when you were coming home. I made you lunch. I bet you’re hungry from working so hard!” Pinching himself wouldn’t be enough to wake up from this blissful dream Ash thought. No he’d have to ram himself into the bull pen and even getting kicked n bucked by wild horses wouldn’t be enough to wake him. Not that he’d ever want to wake up from this moment anyway…

Ash comes into the kitchen and sure enough sees us settin out his food for him and usherin him to eat. We made him a large ass cheeseburger with a baked potato and coleslaw on the side. We keep babbling to him as Ash is just kinda in lalaland takin in us in the kitchen lookin all cute n shit and bein happy to see him. “…to your liking right? Wouldn’t want something so small since your so massive and everything. I couldn’t handle eating something so big. Can’t wrap my hands around it. I’d probably choke”…

And so this brings Ash outa lalaland and into hornyboner land as he’s just tryin not to take what the last few words we said outta context. That and he’s also trying to get his lil friend to settle down and not make the table rise from underneath…Ash is happily eatin and is doin his best to act normal…though everythin we doin to him is so domestic…Askin how his days goin so far, how much longer he’ll be workin, when he comin back home, what he wants for dinner…We givin this man a seizure practically and Ash probably needs to get his blood checked after we leave for the day…

And with the last bit of sanity Ash has he manages to leave n go back to work after he done eatin lunch. We bid him goodbye n say “take care. Make sure to stay safe for me ok? I don’t want you gettin hurt. Bye!” Needless to say Ash is doing peachy…We continue cookin the rest of our meals for grannie and I for the week in addition to startin a dinner for Ash too. Durin this time we get done a bit earlier than expected and see that some of his blankets in his livin room could use a wash and get the idea to help a bit more since he’s been so kind lettin us use his kitchen. And we look around the house just a lil for any more laundry to do…

We find the laundry room. Throw in the blankets and some towels and other items too. Cause it just easy to do it in one go ya know? And after some time when we all done to our horror some of the once white items are now a cute pink. And we panicking cause what’s Ash gonna do to us once we fucked up? It ain’t good n thinkin if we should quickly pack up n make a run for it to our car. As if the universe hated us we Ash comes in unnoticed sayin that he was callin for us for a bit throughout the house…

We shakin and lookin at him watery and glassy eyed thinkin that this is the end for us. Cause this is what always happen to us with men. We always find a way to make them mad at us and ruin whatever relationship we had goin on whether it was platonic or romantic. Cause we’re just that dumb and don’t have anything else goin on for us in life aside from our cute face n body accordin to them. And so we just do what we’ve always done when confronted with similar situations and go real quiet. Wait to be scolded for all our shortcomings n stuff. Then tossed outside and cry on our bed for the next week or something…

Ash just looks at us and asks if we were also doing our laundry. And we just remain beady eyed n silent like a deer in the headlights. Ash asks again and asks if we need any help of anythin. And at this point we just go on auto pilot mode again and start sayin we’re sorry and cryin. Ash of course is surprised and very gentle sayin that it’s ok and just hugs us lets us sob and cry. Get it out of our system…

After we’ve gained a bit of our composure he surprises us by carrying us extremely easily bridal style to the livin room where we explain what happened and how some of his stuff is now pink. He lets out a hearty chuckle and tells us not to worry our pretty little head. “It’s just fabric. It can be replaced if I really needed it to” And he also tells us he doesn’t mind the pink. It’ll give him something now to always think of us. To always have of us…

And so we laugh at it some more and then we both sit down in the dining room to eat the dinner I prepared for us. It some chicken, pasta, and salad and we talk some more about Ash’s day n life in general. We take him up in his offer in the end to do some repairs around grannie’s house since our oven fell apart and we wouldn’t want the rest of the house crumblin too. Much to his delight cause now he has reason to swing by more. We finish up eatin and I bring out a cute lil Angel cake for dessert for him n we eat a bit of it together. Night ends with me packing up the rest of the week’s meals for grannie and I and drivin back home. Tellin Ash how much we appreciated him for lettin us borrow his kitchen and not gettin mad at us for messin up his laundry…

And so the next week progresses with Ash comin to do repairs on the house and us talkin to him a lot while he does it. He never tells us to be quiet or what we’re sayin is dumb and stupid. He genuinely really happy to be hearin our voice no matter what’s comin out. Before we know it we’ve forgotten all about readin our little pocket journal n stuff for advice. And even when he done with all the repairs we practically just hang out with him about every other day…

On one of the days we hangin out with him he brings us out to the stables where he keeps his horses for a surprise he wants to show us. In the stables there are some ribbons of all different colors and lots of brushes. He told us he remembered that we thought it’d be fun to dress up his horses and make ‘em all cute braidin their hair n stuff. So he wanted to fulfill that wishful thought of ours. And we beamin happy as fuck cause no man ever really was this considerate of us and remembered what we said even if it was somethin like a small fleetin thought. So we spend the day decorating the horses of course safely as Ash makes sure we know how to handle the animals in a way so we don’t scare them. But not like the horses get scared cause Ash got the best horses n trained them the best a person would probably ever see. He’d never put us in any potential harms way…

And towards the end of the day we take a ride on the horse of our choosin. A large white stallion all cute with multi colored ribbons we put on it. It’s our first time ridin with Ash and the first time did not disappoint. It was fun and he made sure we were comfortable all the way. We felt so safe n secure being able to lean back into his broad n muscular body we coulda sworn we could’ve fell asleep if we wanted to. Have we ever felt this comfortable and happy bein with a man before?…

Starts to get dark out and we head back to his residence. Ash puts his horse away and while he at it we excuse ourselves to go to the bathroom. When we enter his house we find that some of the stuff we accidentally dyed pink is nicely arranged around the house. He kept it just as he said. Some blankets over some furniture and some pink towels n such in the bathroom and kitchen. When we leave and meet Ash outside where our car is parked we have a faint blush on our face. Tellin him he doesn’t have to keep the pink to spare our feelings. And Ash responds again n reassures us sayin he likes it. “Keeps you around the house when I can’t see you”…

We smile at this and ask him if we can add another touch while we’re at it. He of course agrees. Sayin that we can do whatever we want to his house cause he’s sure he’ll like it. And so we pull out a big pink ribbon from our pocket n tie it all nice n pretty on the horse shoe knocker on the front door. Tellin him it’s so that we don’t forget this very happy n special day. We give Ash a big hug n burry ourselves into him tellin him how much we appreciated this gesture he did for us today. And Ash of course is equally happy n prayin that we don’t notice the massive bulge in his jeans. So we leave n drive back home to grannie’s finally. Leavin Ash to admire the new cute addition to the house…

After some more time we goin on a nature walk by ourselves in the late afternoon. Just enjoyin gettin out of the house for a bit. We figure Ash is hard doin his farm work so we may drop by later during our walk and wait for him when he done. As we walkin we see a car on the road drivin up. It’s a pretty luxurious lookin car n we really truly don’t think much about it n all. It starts to slow down n pulls up to us. The driver door opens and a man comes out…it’s one of our fuckin exes…

He gets all giddy sayin that he knew it was us from the dress we were wearin. And before we know it he pulls our hands into his n starts spewing how he was wrong to have dumped us and that we were the best girlfriend we ever had. Though it unsurprisingly quickly goes into him mostly degrading us. Tellin us that even though we have nothin goin on in our head at least we have the best bedroom skills he’s ever experienced. That’s something we actually good at doin n that we should get back together n pretend like our breakup never happened. Him continuously sayin too that we need him to survive and to be smart for once and listen to his words. To trust him completely. To rely on him completely. And that no man other than him can love n protect us as well as he can…

We luckily go into autopilot safety mode sayin “no” to him n stuff. He takes this about as well you’d think…Goin “why the hell not!? What’s the matter baby? Country air messin with what’s left in that head of yours?” The man askin question after question. Accusation after accusation only to be met with a “no” from us that keeps increasing in panic and fear. He just snaps and starts to pull us into the passenger seat of his car. Tellin us that we just need some time and we’re heading back to the city now. Obviously we fightin our best and start to cry cause we scared as hell as we should be…

Just like out of a fairytale, or I guess one of them western movies, a lasso comes out of nowhere in the far distance and latches itself easily around the man’s neck. And before anyone of us can process what’s happenin. The man is violently choked and dragged to the ground with our cowboy beau’s silhouette in the distance literally pulling him by the throat. It doesn’t take much for the man’s body to go limp…though we don’t see that as Ash made sure to drag the body with his horse deeper into the tall grass before death finally came. And the wolves later if Ash doesn’t deal with the body first…

We cryin and still tryin to process the events that still happened. With Ash on his horse quickly comin up to us, dismountin it and holding onto us tightly. Doin what he does best and consoling us as we let it all out. After a bit he picks us up and placed us on his horse. Tellin us that we’re goin back to his house for the time bein since it’s not safe outside right now for me. We of course nod and just lay into his body. Lettin his comforting smell envelop us as our steady ride home soothes the rest of our nerves…

Back at his home Ash fixed us up with some hot cocoa and us bundled up in a cute pink blanket on the sofa. Lettin us take our time to compile our thoughts n speak when we wanna. Eventually we tell him thanks for savin us and how that man was one of our exes. We tell him how he was gonna take us back to the city with him if Ash didn’t show up when he did. And we joke how Ash is like our knight in shining armor ridin on his loyal stallion to save us time n time again. This isn’t the first time talkin about our love life n bad relationships with men to Ash as we’ve talked to him over the course of gettin to know each other. So we just enjoy Ash’s presence and lean into him. Too tired from the bullshit that happened today…

Ash bein the fine gentleman he is offers to take us home or if we’d like we can spend the night at his place. We take him up on that as we say we can use a friend right now. So we get better back to our normal selves gradually as the rest of the evening progresses. Cookin n bakin together all while giggling too. We eat dinner n dessert, chat some more n get ready to go to bed. Ash gets us all fixed up in a neat n tidy spare bedroom of many he got for the night. Sayin if we need anythin he’ll be in his bedroom. But he wasn’t expecting us to look at him weirdly n say “can’t you sleep with me tonight?”…

This takes him back a bit as we continue to babble sayin that this is what our friends would do with us back when something bad happened to us. Though they were girl friends and not boy friends…but to us there’s really no difference…So he responds askin if that’d make us feel safer n better he’d do it, albeit in a very very flustered manner. We squeal with delight and say we can just sleep in his bed then. No need to be cleanin sheets for a guest bedroom afterwards…

And so here we are lyin in Ash’s large ass bed in a cute pink baby doll nightgown tellin him to come settle in after he done with his shower after we went in first. Ash is doin well as you’d imagine thinkin that his dick n balls r gonna strangle him in his sleep that is if he can get any sleep tonight which he doubts. So we settle in bed together and as Ash closes his eyes n rolls over to his side to make sure we couldn’t feel his raging boner durin the night he feels our presence over him. We lean down and kiss him on the forehead n say “your suppose to wish each other good night silly”. And so he like a blushin bride about to cumbust from bein kissed for the first time by us. He stutters a quick apology, says goodnight to us and tries to focus on not dyin tonight cause he’s really fighting for his life right now…

And so the night progresses and he can’t sleep and neither can we. We poke Ash’s back a bit a whisper askin him if he’s awake. He grunts a yea. We ask him if he’s up for some “late night girlie talk” and he obliges us of course. So we start off nice n easy by askin him “do you ever think I’ll find true love?” And this psychologically springs forth Ash into action with his body turnin to us in the dark…

He doesn’t hesitate to say “yes” and starts spewin the most romantic shit ever. Tellin us that we’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever met. Inside and outside. He looks forward to seein our face every time. We always are so considerate of others. So selfless and that any sane man would fall on their knees for a chance to be with us…

We start tearin up a little sayin he doesn’t have to say that to us to make us feel better n all. We got poor self esteem of course and are in that perpetual compliment denial phase. And so Ash turns on one of the night stand lamps and asks us if he looks like we’re lyin to him. Of course we see nothing but sincerity painted across his handsome face and tell him “no”. He gently takes our hands into his and says “I would love to have a chance at bein with ya. Can I have a go? I promise you’ll never regret” as he looks deeply into our eyes…

And so we a blushin mess too now. The hopeless romantic in us quickly risin to the surface to break through as we pull our hands out from Ash’s and take his face to push our lips onto his. Pulling back after his surprised reaction with a “yes!” and smilin and continuin our attack on his plush lips. Ash eagerly accepts as the passion between us is utterly unchained. Both going at each other barely gaspin for air between kisses on the face neck and body…

Ash was wearin some trunks and a shirt to be polite to us since we were gonna be sleeping together with no funny business goin on but now those easily came off as he also tore off our own nightgown too to do the deed. And so the night was filled with nothing but love. Ash takin care of us in a way that’s never been done before and in a way we didn’t think that’s ever be possible. And us returning the favor and finally showin us our skills that we’ve always been complimented on. It almost become more of like a competition really seein who could make the other fall apart faster and let the other completely dominate them. Ash won eventually havin us mewl from his lips pressed against our nipples, cock rearranging our guts, and fingers rubbin our clit. The rest of the night quickly flew by and the mornin light was pourin into the room…

Alas after the night’s events Ash continued to court us. Tellin us that it’s what we deserved n makin us fall in love with him further n further. Grannie was delighted of course knowin that we’re in good hands for the rest of our lives if we decided to wed him. And Ash finally took us around town to meet the locals n everything since we still hadn’t really met anyone or made connections. Introducing us as his lady and makin it very clear of course that we were off limits. Though we never noticed that behavior from our kind hearted Ash…

Eventually Ash proposed to us in a beautiful landscape right outta a fairytale book and we of course screamed “yes”. We invited the entire town in one of those big open wedding events and also called on our friends in the city to come down too. Makin them sick with worry since we hadn’t been in touch for so long and they were worried about us since our ex came lookin for us a while ago. Though no one knew where he disappeared to in the end…Some people out of legal obligation had to search for him but with his history of substance abuse benders, no one was really surprised that he couldn’t turn up in the end. So it’d always be just one of those “don’t care cold cases”…

The wedding was splendid. Bein surrounded by friends n family. And of course walkin down the aisle to Ash. Movin into Ash’s was the easiest thing in the world too and Ash was thrilled to let us decorate the place more. And with all the fuckin we were doin durin the courtship it wasn’t really a surprise that we ended up pregnant. Walked down the aisle while we were pregnant though thankfully no one knew as we weren’t showing obvious signs yet. Wouldn’t want the locals to think ill of Ash or I thinkin it was a shotgun weddin or anythin…

In the end we got our happily ever after with our Prince Charming who’d always come to save us. And now we’re havin twins on the way to join us too. So we’ll be a stay at home mother and wife much to Ash’s relief as he wants us in a safe environment where he can always get to us easily. Ash also isn’t ever worried about money or resources. He got plenty to take care of us and our family. He wants a big one too. At least 5 more babies too. And we’ll happily oblige that wish cause he gave his heart to us just as we gave him ours. To love each other forever n forever.

Scene!!! I’m done with this AU! Thank fuck it was hella long! Way too long to be honest but it was honestly so much fun to write about a “Bimbo” Reader that I wanted to make sure I gave her a good amount of depth and didn’t make the story seem lazy with no build up or progression with evidence of Ash’s and Reader’s relationship. I wanted it to feel “earned” and plausible ya know?

I also wanted it to be clearly different from the City Reader AU as it’s fun to explore different characters/personalities and thus how the story will unfold differently for each of them. Didn’t want to have too many of the same scenes or scenarios either from the City Reader AU, so that’s why there isn’t “cowboy hat rule” for example in the Bimbo Reader AU. So fresh n new scenes with Ash. And I also had real fun explorin Ash again and how he navigates this new reader. Cause City Reader is obviously in a rush to get outta town and doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with Ash, so Ash is put into an extreme time crunch. Really showin his “yan” side in that AU. While in the Bimbo Reader AU the girls obviously not in a rush to leave or anythin and is more scared if anythin to be in a relationship again. She’s much more vulnerable and Ash understands that so like dealin with a spooked animal he knows he gotta play the long game with this girlie. As such this AU really showed his “dere” side more I think. Of course I included the twins n 5 more babies at the end cause I figure even in multiple AUs the existences of other characters still happen. So to me it wouldn’t really make sense if Reader suddenly only had 3 kids in this Bimbo AU or didn’t have twins at first pregnancy

So lemme know how I did. Lemme know if you enjoyed it or not

P.S. Girlie did you get my submission #4 or did Tumblr censor it and delete it or somethin? Do I gotta resubmit it to ya!?

Love 🗡️Psycho🗡️ Anon

I AM CONSISTENTLY BLOWN AWAY BY YOU OMFG THABK YOUUUUU I ADORE BIMBO READER SO MUCH SJDKDMDM THE WAY ASH IS SO SOFT WITH HERRRRRR OMFG YOU DID UR BIG ONE WITH THIS BABES DHDJDND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE

#yananswers #anon submission #psycho anon

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thrall-of-the-hill-arch · 2 years

Note

⭐ What is a embarassing story about your son?-For Lucas's Father or Father Figure

Thaddeus Maze Sr. had no limit of stories to tell about his son, though the boy hadn’t gotten into much trouble with the law there were stories. Plenty of them. At Addies question he made an amused hum, setting the glass down on the table he eyed his son with a teasing smirk.

“Nothin’ too bad,” he promised his eldest while he leaned back in the chair. “I can’t count the number of times I had to take him to the hos-pit-al. It was always stitches ‘r charcoal cause he thought he’d see how lead paint tasted. His mother had poison control on speed dial.”

“Think they best one was right after his first toddler doc appointment. The doc had been raving’ “he’ll be a football star” next big thang,” he chuckled to himself before taking a sip of the good stuff. “Said all this cause of his age, course that went straight to his head. Running around the house like he was invincible tellin’ me “daddy imma be so much taller than you” and all that. Course come dinner time he’s still tellin’ me how it’ll be.” A small smile former on Lucas’ lips well aware where the story was going, crossing his arms over his chest he listened.

“Now mind you he was about table height by then, tall sucker and well spoken for his age. I don’t remember why but he decided to stand by the table eating the last of his food. Just as he finished little guy had a mighty sneeze in him, never seen his head go forward so fast. Caught right on the table corner. Split his head good,” the old man chuckled at the memory. “I ain’t never seen him change his tone so fast, ‘grown’ as he thought he was still needed his daddy. You can bet it was all “sorry daddy’s” on the way to to docs. Learned his lesson to not get bigger than his britches. Or, so I hoped. Boys still too hard headed.”

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thewidowsghost · 4 years

Text

Fox - Chapter 25

Previously on Fox:

"Well, make sure to come and visit," Pepper says and Natasha and (Y/n) get in the car.

"I will," (Y/n) promises.

(Y/n) pulls the car out of the driveway and drives back to the airport. (Y/n) goes and grabs a trolley and she and Natasha put (Y/n)'s stuff onto it and wheel it out to the Quinjet.

3rd Person POV

By the time that Nat and (Y/n) land in New York City, it's about 4:30.

"So, I say we get an apartment near the restaurant, and then tomorrow, we go look at apartment," (Y/n) says. "What do you say?"

"Sounds good," Natasha says. "What should we bring?"

"Just a pair of clothes for tomorrow, and a pair of pajamas, tooth brush, toothpaste," (Y/n) says, hanging Natasha a cloth bag.

(Y/n) grabs a black dress, some boots, a pair of clothes for tomorrow, and a pair of pajamas. She also grabs her plain black-and-white guitar, her toothbrush, toothpaste and her hairbrush. (Y/n) places everything but the guitar in a bag - duh, a guitar ain't gonna fit in a bag, unless it's a cloth guitar case.

"What's with the guitar?" Natasha asks as the two walk through the airport, the guitar on (Y/n)'s back.

"It's a surprise," (Y/n) says, smiling at the redhead.

The two walk to the hotel, which wasn't far from the airport, and the restaurant.

"So, I've got something to take care of. Our dinner reservation is at six, in that restaurant over there," (Y/n) points to the restaurant. "You want to get the hotel room, and I'll meet you there?" (Y/n) asks, and Natasha stares at her for a moment, then nods. "Cool, I'll see you in a little bit," (Y/n) smiles, then staying and watching as Natasha walks in the hotel.

(Y/n) walks down the street to the restaurant and someone, probably a manager walks over to her.

"You must be (Y/n)," the woman says and (Y/n) nods, shaking her hand. "My name is Samantha, but you can call me Sam," she says and (Y/n) smiles.

"I know my reservation was kind of last minute, but do you think you could make room?" (Y/n) asks.

"Of course, we actually have a spot in at 6:15," Sam says and (Y/n) smiles.

"That's great," (Y/n) says. "My friend should be here at six."

"We have the rest of the guys here if you'd like to go practice with them before she gets here," Sam says, leading (Y/n) to a room near the kitchen.

"Thanks Sam," (Y/n) says as the woman leaves the room.

The six practice for a while until about 5:45 and (Y/n) goes to change into the dress and boots.

Walking back into the practice room, (Y/n) takes her white guitar strap and attaches it to the guitar.

Around six, Sam walks in the room motioning for (Y/n) to follow. (Y/n) sets her guitar on its side on the floor and steps out of the room to talk with Sam.

"I believe your friend is here now," she says. "Red hair, emerald green eyes?" Sam asks.

"Yep, that's her," (Y/n) says.

"She's at the table near the stage," Sam says. "She's also wondering where you are," Sam smiles.

"She's about to find out," (Y/n) says. "Thank you Sam."

"No problem, you'd better get behind stage. It's almost time."

"Right," (Y/n) says, darting back in the room, grabbing her guitar, then following Sam backstage where some backstage workers get (Y/n) an ear microphone, and attach a microphone to her guitar.

At her cue, (Y/n) walks out on stage, sending Natasha a warm smile, which the redhead returns.

Glancing at the other players behind her, (Y/n) begins to play.

youtube

"Hey homecoming queen Why do you lie When somebody's mean? Where do you hide? Do people assume You're always alright? Been so good at smiling Most of your life"

Natasha gazes up at (Y/n) as she sings, the (H/C) haired women meeting her emerald gaze. Then Natasha realizes that (Y/n) is wearing a dress. Natasha didn't even know (Y/n) owned dresses, but the redhead admits that (Y/n) looks amazing.

"Look damn good in the dress Zipping up the mess Dancing with your best foot forward Does it get hard To have to play the part? Nobody's feeling sorry for ya

But what if I told you the world wouldn't end If you started showing what's under your skin What if you let 'em all in on the lie? Even the homecoming queen cries

Hey homecoming queen How's things at home? Still walking on eggshells When that curtain's closed Did your daddy teach you How to act tough? Or more like your momma? Sweep it under the rug

Look damn good in the dress Zipping up the mess Dancing with your best foot forward Did you want the crown Or does it weigh you down Nobody's feeling sorry for ya

What if I told you the world wouldn't end If you started showing what's under your skin? What if you let 'em all in on the lie? Even the homecoming queen cries Yeah, what if I told you the sky wouldn't fall? If you lost your composure, said to hell with it all Not everything pretty sparkles and shines And even the homecoming queen cries Oh yeah Even the homecoming queen cries

Hey homecoming queen Why do you lie? When somebody's mean Where do you hide?"

(Y/n) finishes singing and all six players stop playing and the restaurant erupts into applause. (Y/n) smiles one more time at Natasha before walking off stage. Natasha's gazes down at her wine glass, a small smile on her face.

(Y/n) hurries to pack up her guitar, leaving it, and her bag, in the practice room. (Y/n) would grab her things when she left, but she grabs her phone and wallet and hurries over to the table she had reserved. When Natasha catches sight of (Y/n), she jumps up and jogs over, wrapping the (E/C) eyed woman in a hug.

(Y/n), a little startled, stands still for a moment, before hugging the redhead back. The two pull a way after a moment, and (Y/n) takes Natasha's hand and the two walk over to the table.

"You look nice," Natasha says as (Y/n) pushes in her chair.

"Right back at you Nat," (Y/n) smiles, sitting down. The redhead was wearing a red dress that almost matched her hair.

"Did you do all this for me?" Natasha asks and (Y/n) gives her a questioning look. "The restaurant, the song?"

"Of course, you're my girlfriend," (Y/n) answers, taking Natasha's hand from across the table.

"You're too much," Natasha says softly and (Y/n) smiles.

A waiter comes over and takes the two's orders before (Y/n) speaks again.

"So, the apartment," (Y/n) begins. "I think we might need something bigger than I saw online. If we had a bigger area, I could throw my lab in a room, make a training room, things like that."

"I think we should still look at the one we saw online, but if we don't like it, we could go check out some others," Natasha says.

"I agree there," (Y/n) says and then their food arrives.

The two eat, then finish, paying the bill then standing up.

"I've got to grab my stuff before we leave," (Y/n) says.

(Y/n) leads the way back to the practice room where she gets down on one knee and unhooks her guitar strap and puts the guitar in the case and grabs her bag.

"Right, let's go," (Y/n) says cheerfully, and Natasha smiles softly at her enthusiasm. The two walk out of the restaurant and down the street to the hotel. Natasha pulls out the room key and the two walk into the hotel room.

"This is nice," (Y/n) says, setting her guitar on the floor. Then she goes to the bathroom and changes into a pair of pajamas.

(Y/n) walks out of the bathroom and flops on the bed.

"You have a fox obsession," Natasha teases, grabbing her own pajamas and moving to the bathroom.

(Y/n) pulls back the comforter and snuggles into the sheets, yawning and looking up at the ceiling. Natasha leaves the bathroom and settles under the comforter with (Y/n). The (E/C) eyed women turns over to face Natasha.

"Thanks for tonight," Natasha says. "I had a lot of fun."

"I'm glad," (Y/n) smiles warmly at her girlfriend. "Good night Nat," (Y/n) says.

"Night, (Y/n)," Natasha says and (Y/n) waves her hand, the lights turning off.

The two sleep soundly for a while when (Y/n) is waken by Natasha thrashing around beside her.

"Nat," (Y/n) gently nudges her girlfriend's shoulder, but it doesn't do anything. (Y/n) moves closer to Natasha, wrapping an arm around her, gently running her fingers through the redhead's hair.

After a minute or two, Natasha relaxes, falling back into a comfortable sleep. (Y/n) rests her head back on her pillow, continuing to run her hand through Natasha's soft hair. After about half an hour, (Y/n) falls asleep, her right arm instinctively resting beside Natasha's left hand.

Natasha wakes about an hour after her nightmare, studying (Y/n) for a while. She seems so gentle while she sleeps, Natasha thinks. The green-eyed former assassin takes (Y/n)'s hand shyly and (Y/n) sleepily entwined her fingers with Natasha's, sighing contentedly.

Natasha smiles softly, lying her head gently on (Y/n)'s shoulder. (Y/n) shifts her head slightly, then rests her right cheek against the top of her girlfriend's head. Natasha turns a little, cuddling into (Y/n)'s side.

"You're so cute when you're tired," (Y/n) murmurs and Natasha laughs softly.

"Don't tell anyone, I have to keep my bad girl image," Natasha says, looking up and meeting (Y/n)'s gentle (E/C) eyes with her own green ones, amusement evident in (Y/n)'s gaze. (Y/n) gently wraps her arms around Natasha, the redhead snuggling closer, (Y/n) resting her chin on Natasha's head.

(Y/n) watches Natasha's eyes close, and (Y/n) says softly, "Good night, Nat."

Natasha murmurs something indistinguishable and (Y/n) stifles a laugh.

Word Count: 1716 words

I freaking love this chapter!!!! ❤

See y'all soon!

Love,

Kaitlynn ❤😍

Imma tag peoples now: @confusinggemini612, @gay-disaster826, @thelastavenger-3000, @osugahunnyicedtea, @night-howl199, @minicastle, @happilyeverafterfantasybooks, @billiebanner, @me-and-sweatpants, @scottjudah, @scarlet-raccoon, @whore-for-charlynch, @nyx-aria, @night-howl199, @brittanyrenne2004, @juegamiri29, @minicastle, @peggycarter-steverogers, @gay-disaster826, @guitargodme, @avengers-avenging, @natashadeservedbetter2

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dasolution-ns · 4 years

Text

A Wrecking Mess

Part of the Hell Down Under series by Da Solution

A Miley Cyrus slam fic

Here I am somewhere in the outbacks, probably a few kilometres away from Newcastle, New South Wales, where I heard that Miley Cyrus was here. She seem to have a thing for Aussies. I don’t know why, they’re a bunch of tossing assholes, besides the Aborigines. Being the daughter of a redneck country singer, and the total whoring bi-slut that she is, she needs to be straightened out and that’s why I’m here.

I brought my wife, Maxine Brewer, former member of D.E.B.S, with me since she wanted to get involved more and she also hates Miley with a passion. She also wanted to get to visit Australia again, saying that if Lucy Diamond, her arch-nemesis during her days of D.E.B.S, hates Australia, then it’s good for her. I hate Pussy Sapphire, I mean Lucy Diamond myself, enough to kill her and her partner off.

It wasn’t too hard, but I spotted her at a retreat in the outbacks. Expectedly, it was guarded. Unexpectedly, it wasn’t heavily guarded. I was surprised that someone as famous as she was would have such a skeleton crew for security, but no complaints, that just made my job easier :-D. Thus, I would not require Team Solution for this, me and Maxine should be good enough.

The place was a small, but inside was luxurious. I think it was an attempt for her to get “in touch with nature” and “in touch with herself.” All that is really bullshit, because those people like Miley are so out of touch, they can never be like the common man, and she’s a bi-slut, so she’ll always be confused. However, I bet that bi-slut bitch sure loves to touch herself…

As we were casing the area and planning our strategy to take out the guards, I saw Miley with her new sucker, I mean lover, Cody Simpson. They just came outside to sit and chill on their porch. Don’t worry, they’ll have an eternal chill when we get done with them.

“Look at that idiot. Grinning like he struck gold.” Maxine whispered. I chuckled, couldn’t laugh out loudly.

“Yeah, more like fool’s good.” I said. “The only thing that fool struck is some STD!” Now it was Maxine’s turn to laugh. After we laugh, I told Maxine, “we got to find a way to get in there. There isn’t a lot of guards here, so we should be able to take them out one by one. Just get your knife ready, so we don’t make any noise.”

However, Maxine disagreed. “Nah, I ain’t takin’ that chance. I say bring the other three who are nearby. Just in case if one of the guards do call backup.”

“Good point.” So I text to my main man, Steelz. He told me that backup was coming.

When backup arrived, we went ahead with the plan. I was able to take out three of the guards, while Maxine was able to take out two.

We were able to enter the retreat without any problems, because the retreat’s security ain’t worth shit, and it worth even less shit since all the guards are dead. However, as soon as we got in, we couldn’t find them.

“Where the fuck did they go?” Maxine said.

“I dunno.” I replied. However, it didn’t take long as Rico and Rachel came back with Cody and Miley with them.

“Hey boss, we saw these two running about 200 metres from here, we caught them.” Rico said.

I smiled at Rico. “That for getting them. I knew you were the right guy for the job.” Rico just smiled and said his thanks. They left, and that left us with those two losers. I was pissed at them.

“Thinking you can run away from me like that, huh? Well, imma fuck your bi-slut ass up like what I did to Katie Hill and Afrika Bambaataa, Miley. And that goes for you as well, Cody.”

Cody stepped up to me and said, “I bet you aren’t as tough as you think you are. I’ll take you on. Just me and you. No one else. Neither Miley nor your woman can pitch in. Besides, you only got a few minutes, I already called the police.”

That made me furious. Maxine already knew what to do in that situation, and she text Team Solution for backup.

Cody Simpson wanted to take me on one-on-one, which I find weird considering he was trying to run away from me. Nevertheless, I had no problems with that. That’s how I prefer it. He’s brave, but stupid.

“Sure.” I simply answered.

Before he could even move his shoulder, I punched him right in the face. Then I gave him a few ribs shots followed by a stunning left jab across the face. He was down, but not out. At the same time, Maxine was beating the shit outta that bi-slut bitch Miley.

When I got to Miley, she was already bloodied and beating. My woman did a number on that flaky, attention-seeking whoring bitch!

“Good job, honey. Now let me take over. Go and watch for the cops, I think Team Solution might need your help.”

She smiled. “Sure.”

Now it’s my turn to have fun with Miley. I noticed a glassed cabinet with her trophies and statues she have won. There were those of lesser prestigious awards, as the main ones are back in her home. The cabinet was locked, but I knew a way to get it to open… I smashed her face against the glass, and it shattered all over the place. I then proceed to grab every trophy, statue, plaque, whatever I can get my hands on in the cabinet and hit her with it.

I was about to do more to that sick-ass swing-set, Maxine came back. “There’s like 24 cop cars out there, and they’re planning to bring the ADF against you, since you’re consider a domestic terrorist. Oh shit, the Australian Defence Force is now involved, now we really need to get the fuck outta here! It’s one thing to bring in the cops, it’s another to bring in the armed forces!

With that in mind, I took out my gun and shot Cody a few times with my Glock 17. We made sure that Miley saw it by keeping her eyes wide open. Needless to say, she was devastated, and we were elated. We took Miley with us and narrowly escaped. That was a close call.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A few hours later, we were at an abandoned building in Sydney, New South Wales. I had Miley’s hands tied behind her, with her mouth covered up. She can be a mouthy bitch as that swing-set kept on bitching throughout the rid, so I had to shut her up. She also fought along the way, so Maxine gave her a punch to the stomach, and that worked, for she was much more cooperative after that.

We we got into a room. I had some of my “toys” out for me to use. It included The Rock, The Solution, and the Pinochet Machine, and a parrilla used for torturing. And those weren’t the only thing in the room.

“Kaitlynn Carter! What the fuck!?”

Yep, we kidnapped her ex Pussy-pal and fellow bi-slut bitch herself, Kaitlynn Carter. She too was tied up.

“You bloody biphobic bastards! You won’t get away with your gay, lesbian, and bi-bashing for long!” Kaitlynn screamed at me.

“Oh spare me with the drama, bi-slut bitch! You betta shut da fuck up before I do it myself.”

“No! I won’t ‘shut da fuck up!’ I will make my voice loud enough so that someone will hear me and save up. I will… SMASH!”

I hit her with The Rock, a slightly-larger hand-sized rock used to rock those who likes to rock the three colors (bisexual flag), like Ms. Bi-Slut Miley and Konfused Kaitlyn. Those rudy poo jabronis will get the smackdown of their lives.

I was smashing her with The Rock while telling her to shut da fuck up in a rhymatic pattern.

“SHUT-DA-FUCK-UP! SHUT-DA-FUCK-UP!”

Her face looked like a messed-up pizza ate by a drunk. Now it’s Miley’s turn to know her role with The Rock. With her, I did the same thing that I did with carpet-muncher Kaitlyn, however I changed the words.

“DIE-YOU-BI-SLUT! DIE-YOU-BI-SLUT!”

Her face too was a total mess, but then again, it always did.

“Now I can focus on giving you the Rock Bottom.”

So I took The Rock and slammed her to the ground with The Rock in her face. Now they know that my bi-bashing is quite different… and painful!

Now in order for the parrilla to work effectively, you got to “soften up” the victim, and there’s no other weapon that can soften victims any better than The Solution. The Solution is a modified cricket bat with a titanium core, perfect to straightening out those people. It has crossed-out flags of the gays and lesbians on one side, and crossed-out flags of bisexuals and transgenders on the other. It’s the only bi-slut I can tolerate, since it also “swings both ways.” So I introduced it first to Kaitlyn.

“This is for being an New Englander cunt! CRACK!” “And this is for eating Miley’s STD-infested pussy! CRACK! “And this is for being a bad actress. I saw your shit on that sorry-ass show, The Hills, and you suck horse’s dick among other things! CRACK!” “And this is for being a nasty, ugly, confused, bi-slut ho! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

Then I focused my attention to Miley.

“This is for being Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter… CRACK!” “And this is for having your ugly face all over Disney… CRACK!” “And this is for showing your slutty, flat-as-an-ironboard body all over TV… CRACK! “And this is for your sorry-ass music! That’s right, your singing voice is as flat as your ass! CRACK!” “And of course, this is for being a nasty, poly-promiscuous, bi-slut bitch! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! CRACK!”

After that, I smiled for they were now “soft” enough for the parrilla. I turned my attention to Maxine and asked her if the parrilla is ready, she nodded.

“I got the wires set up, and we do have enough juice to light up the block.”

“Good, I let you take care of Miley, while I take care of Kaitlynn.”

Maxine got excited. “Goodie! I get to torture Miley!” I couldn’t help but smile when I saw my wife’s excitement. I wanted to torture Miley, but I got to let my wife have some fun as well.

So we strapped the two beef-and-pork-eating bitches to the metal frame, strapped them tight and then attached the picana to their sensitive areas. In the case of both Miley and Kaitlynn, that would be their Hope-Solo-sized pussy lips, cause neither have boobs. The metal frame intensifies the shock, while burning their backs as well.

As soon as we powered up the picana, we tortured the shit out of those two pendulums. They were screaming for their deal lives.

“AAAHHHHHHH!” They said collectively. Now that’s music to my ears!

After two hours of so of torturing them, I decided I had enough, so there was one more thing left to do: cure them. As I was about to pull out my Glock 17, someone’s phone had Miley’s “Wrecking Ball” as their ring tune. Found out it was Miley’s. That gave me an idea.

Okay, there are two endings to this. I will show each of the ending and you decide which one is the best.

Ending #1

We went to another area of Sydney where they were destroying old buildings. There was a crane with a wrecking ball attached. I smiled when I saw it. I decided to attache Kaitlynn first, by welding metal pieces to her arms and legs onto the wrecking ball. Then when I had enough speed and acceleration from the wrecking ball, I moved it so that it can hit the building, crushing Kaitlynn in the process.

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!” Miley screamed as she watched her finger-friend crushed to death. It’s a bad day for her, as she watched two of her lovers die. It’s gonna get even worse for her because she’s next.

We attached her to the wrecking ball the same way we did for Kaitlynn. It didn’t help that blood and guts of Kaitlynn were still on the ball when we welded her onto it.

Afterwards, as I did with Kaitlynn, I got the wrecking ball swing fast enough so that when it did hit the building, she would die from it. As soon as I can, I aimed it to the building and Miley got flattened like an accordion. Funny enough, music from an accordion is more pleasing than her own.

Ending #2

The same building and the same crane as Example #1, however, this time Miley and Kaitlynn are attached to the building. They are about 5 metres apart. The building had already been partially wrecked, but there was about a 20 metre long wall of it remaining. That’s where we tied them up. I was gonna go and use the wrecking ball on them, but instead Maxine insisted that she does it. I smiled and let her take control.

She started from the edge of the wall, knocking it down, first from the left side, then from the right side. The wrecking ball was slowly creeping up to the degenerates as it kept on knocking out brick from the edged of the remaining wall. They were getting terrified as the wrecking ball was slowly coming to them. Maxine was torturing them and I liked it!

Eventually, the wall withered down to just 12 metres, and the bi-slut duo knew the end was coming for them. Maxine had the wrecking ball first aimed at Kaitlynn and she was smashed by it. Miley screamed in horror as she saw her smashed to pieces. However, we shouted in pleasure, as we finally got rid of Kaitlynn. Now it was Miley’s turn as Maxine aimed the wrecking ball right as Miley. She was done that instant.

Conclusion

Miley is dead, along with her ex and her stupid-ass boyfriend. All in all, me and Maxine are satisfied, and we took a short trip to a sparse area where they have the beach. Everything was fine, until we saw two Australian gay dudes holding hands. Without a hitch, I got out of my lounge chair and headed towards those two faggots. Looks like another situation to straighten out…

THE WRECKING END!

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