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ms-all-sunday · 5 months

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Hi! Sorry if this is sudden or unwelcomed but i was wondering how would one go about ''fixing'' Sanji's character and your personal interpretation?

Now what i mean is that Sanji is an already great and complex character who has a lot of good moments and stuff, but the rampant misogyny really, really holds him back.

It just feels demeaning to an inmense degree, like that the only reason Kalifa - a member of the cp9 - won was because Sanji was holding back. Which feels like bullshit as she's a literal assassin and you could easily have rewritten it to make it so he lost due to her devil fruit instead. (or more emphasised).

I dont have a problem with an intrinsic vow but i just wish it wasn't this. I guess i just find it fustrating on how something so misogynistic is treated as a virtue. He could have had another vow instead like 'never kill' or 'don't fight someone when its clearly going to be a onesided beat down from you' or something to that effect. You know a vow that still causes problems when it comes up but doesn't devalue the agency or prowess of the other characters if that makes sense?

Idk, sorry if im being rambly. I finished reading the pre time skip stuff and its been bothering me whenever it comes up. I know it gets worse post-timeskip but i havent read that far yet so sorry if this seems premature in anyway. (I do know about Wano to a degree tho).

I haven't really seen any alternatives to sanji's behaviour - hell i seen someone argue it was necessary so he wouldn't be overpowered. And its kinda fustrating as a Sanji fan as it feels like in these moments his other qualities are kinda getting sidetracked in favour of his perviness. I dont mind he's pervy, but the way its utilised just feels kinda like a coppout more than anything and, well, misogynistic. (which im not saying remove all his misogyny, but tone it down and not make it seem virtuous if that makes sense?)

sorry for going on a rant. Its a topic ive been trying to look more into and i just want to hear more peoples opinions on.

so let me ask you a question anon, where do you think sanji first says something misogynistic? this isnt me trying to gotcha you or anything, i legitimately am curious.

i think how you "fix" sanji purely depends on how sexist you individually think he is. i think it ultimately comes down to, do you think when he treats women positively he's being sexist negatively? how much of that is a flaw to you, where do you draw the line? is your comfort level purely at where you can only stand sanji being negative towards men and treating women neutrally, or do you think you're comfortable with the opposite?

when i was a kid, i learned that characters are just a set of rules you make for yourself that when you add them to a situation and the application of those rules becomes a character. the character is both the solution and the equation, and i think the problem with sanji inherently lies not with his character at all, but how the narrative treats him for those actions, like you said.

i think it comes down to the fact while op does acknowledge and commentate on sexism a little, it doesnt have a strong enough commentary to support the characters like zoro, tashigi and sanji. who are amazing, wonderful characters, but are ultimately boggled down by the fact that oda doesn't do anything productive with them.

for example: both sanji and zoro (in their male feminist debate) are correct contextually, but op should be better at illustrating how zoro's "if theyre women they should be treated the same always" ideology can be wrong sometimes too, which would even out the commentary on them a lot more.

zoro and sanji should also progress as characters to ultimately seeing the contextual side of each others arguments and develop to the point where they know when its appropriate to apply each-others points

tashigi should've been sanjis rival, and helped the narrative illustrate how sanji's habit of treating women favourably can lean into sexism, which i feel like is the point of tashigi even being there but odas got the ingredients but is really bad at making a stew out of them.

i think ultimately the problem is that the narrative doesnt compensate for sanji, not that sanji doesnt compensate for the narrative. i think there's a conversation you can have internally with yourself on whether you want to write sanji as completely devoid of bigotry or whether you want to pick and choose and that's valid as well and i think would inherently apply to sanji even if op's commentary on sexism was well written, but. you're asking me how i'd "fix canon", and i think the fact that sanji doesn't get compensated for is indicative of a wider problem present in both tashigi and zoro's storylines as well (and the narrative also not compensating for them)

#asks #modposts #godspeed anon #anyways basically my opinion is that none of what op does is wrong its just the narrative around it needs to be stronger than what it is #i think you can have sanji be defeated in enies lobby its just that it shouldnt be played for dramatics like his flaw is a good quality #because it isnt #i really tried to get at the core of your question. if you want my opinion on what you said about how people precieve him uh yeah i agree #for the most part #also i get the frustration with the vow thing #it isnt a problem in the way i think you think it is but i do wish oda would commit to more general nonviolence for sanji and #have that be explict as well #like maybe ideally it would go with his character progression from i dont hit women to something like the examples you gave when he sees th #flaw in treating women spefifically like theyre delicate all the time #like he goes 'i dont not hit women anymore i protect the innocent' or some shit with the same intent just clearer

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lemonadesoda · 11 months

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OH SHIT hope you feel better but uh question >:) - 1, 6, 7, 16, 19, 30, 31, A, E (feel free to pick and choose questions). (jackdaw)

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Lemel: about 30 seconds

Tevane: also about 30 seconds but not out of boredom and more out of Mental Illness That Requires Him To Be Useful

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Lemel: Laws are suggestions, which, if stupid, should be improved or ignored. laws of physics not excluded from this tbh.

Tevane: immovable as they are written. otherwise the system is chaos. doesn't have anything to do with whether he thinks all laws are rational or effective. just that they say what they say.

7. already answered

16. What makes their stomach turn?

Interpreting this as what horrifies them rather than what makes them nauseated.

Lemel: Assimilation, loss of free thought.

Tevane: just general delight in cruelty. someone who hurts people and seems to enjoy doing it.

19. What is their favorite number?

Lol i have no idea sorry

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

Lemel had some difficult run-ins with seedy people when they had to get some medical treatment in the outer settlements bc they couldn't risk doing it above board during their exile. Luckily for them, those people had no idea they could disappear themself.

Tevane: Director Izen probably

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Guess

A. Why are you excited about this character?

Lemel is a pretty different sort of character from ones I usually have tended to make, and they're a blast because of it. Having someone who's a bit of a hot shot and knows it and uses it unapologetically is very fun! Yet they have a lot of nuance, a lot of room for tension between contradicting aspects of their nature. As a writer I love contradiction and ambiguity. Would love to play with it more, always.

Tevane is just the Most Guy Ever to me. He has Repression so it's fun to give him sad gay little problems and also he just wants someone to hold him gently like the hamburger. Also just a gentle soul and full of love. I'm putting him in a washing machine.

E. Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

I think I would find Lemel too overpowering. We both have strong wills but in completely opposite manifestations. We'd probably end up just realizing neither person wants to do what the other wanted and we would just peace tf out on each other without getting into it.

Tevane, being very polite, I think would be easy to interact with, if a bit stiff. I don't think we'd be friends bc I would not push him to say anything and he wouldn't push me and we just would sit there. I would listen to all his random infodumps tho and I wouldn't think he talks about weird things, so maybe we'd get along once we started talking.

#lemel #tevane #asks #jackdaw

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stxleslyds · 3 years

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Also, the writers' failure to understand, every crime Jason committed had a motive. Attack other criminals? Holy warrior destined to purify the world of evil. Attack Bruce? Joker's still alive. (Oh, Jason, it's much worse than that.) Attack Tim? A parody of what he once was. He wasn't just a "bad boy". He was dangerously insane.

Hi, Anon! Yup, there seems to be a lot of things that writers have gotten confused about Jason Todd/Red Hood and the biggest one is his motivations to kill certain criminals.

Let’s be honest, Judd Winick set a golden path for the upcoming Red Hood writers. But each and every writer that used Red Hood in their stories completely missed the point of Jason’s character. All of them. It’s so incredibly wild to me that every other writer read UtRH and came up with whichever version of Jason they came up with.

Let’s list the writers that completely missed the point.

Geoff Johns in Teen Titans vol.3 #29.

Geoff Johns was one of the first to completely mischaracterize Jason, why on earth would Jason go to the Titans Tower to beat up Tim? This is not me saying that Jason would never do that because Jason thinks of Tim as his brother or a friend or the person that he can trust the most from the Bat-Clan (can you believe Lobdell tried to sell us that one?), this is me saying that Jason wouldn’t have done that because he couldn’t have given less of a fuck about Tim’s existence.

When Jason found out that Bruce had another Robin he wasn’t bothered by his “replacement” he was mad at Bruce for having another child playing hero after he lost his life as a fifteen-year-old. Jason didn’t even think of Tim as his replacement as fandom likes to make us believe, Jason called Tim “pretender”. And that was that, but to go from minimal recognition to go out of his way to beat him up at Titans Tower is a massive mischaracterization.

Paul Dini in Countdown (to Final Crisis).

Paul Dini in Countdown did absolutely nothing with Jason, I am sorry but that’s all he did. Him writing Jason was like watching a dog trying to catch their own tail. He started with a pretty basic take on UtRH Jason, then he added a bit of Jason being an annoying man with Donna, then we had the jealousy arc because apparently, Jason had the hots for Donna but she didn’t want anything to do with him and he was all angsty when she paid attention to Kyle instead of him, and then, later on, he had that whole Red Robin bullshit (I am sorry about this, but I absolutely hated that, it was so dumb, I am so glad it didn’t last long because it was just too bad), and after all that mix of just not interesting stuff he went right back to the Jason that he had at the very start. It was a waste of time, but I guess that he had to be there because he was an anomaly and all that. I just think that was DC’s first try at making Jason Todd/Red Hood something more than just a street-level vigilante and they failed miserably.

Tony S. Daniel in Batman: Battle for the Cowl.

Even though the first two did make mistakes with Jason’s characterizations, this man was the first to just throw UtRH out of the window and make up his very own version of Jason Todd. And his version was horrendous, that Jason had no problem with attempting to kill children and innocent people, he also really wanted to be Batman because Gotham needed a Batman and he wanted to be the person to wear the Cowl and he was looking for a Robin for himself.

I know, the whole concept is the perfect opposite of what Jason Todd and Red Hood were in UtRH. Every aspect of BftC Jason is based on nothing.

Jason wanting to be Batman because Gotham needed Batman is just the beginning of what’s wrong in this book. Jason became the Red Hood (in part) because he believed that Batman and his ways weren’t what Gotham needed so he made a better version of Batman with Red Hood (according to him) because Red Hood did what Batman refused to do. Another thing that is just wrong is Jason wanting, Damian, Tim or Dick to be his Robin, there is just so much wrong with this, first of all, Jason wanted Batman to stop having Robin because child soldiers ran the risk of dying at a very young age and that’s exactly how he saw the whole thing because that was what had happened to him. Second, if Jason was mad at Bruce for getting another Robin why would he now want one of his own to team up with his Batman? Damian was a child, Tim was someone that apparently Jason hated (because Jason beating Tim was mentioned in this event), and then Jason actually asked Dick Grayson, Nightwing, to be his Robin? Listen, there is no way that was Jason, nothing about him makes sense, even taking into account that Jason had beaten Tim already in this event Jason actually tried to kill both Tim and Damian (it might have been just one of them but yeah, it still doesn’t make sense).

I just don’t think that Tony S. Daniel knew who Jason Todd was, maybe he got confused but the thing is, his “villainous” and deranged version of Jason Todd allowed a villainous and deranged version of Red Hood to happen with the next writer that I will be talking about.

Grant Morrison in Batman and Robin vol.1 #3-6.

This was the birth of the villainous, deranged and bloodthirsty Red Hood. There is absolutely no trace of UtRH Jason here, not even if we are looking at the opposite of things like we could do with Daniel’s Jason. Grant Morrison wanted Dick and Damian to have a villain to match their Batman and Robin and they decided to give us a red-haired-pill-headed-red hood. Everything from Morrison’s characterization of Jason is crazy, from the red hair (hello pre-crisis) to the awful Joker’s Red Hood looking suit, everything was just weird.

I still don’t believe that was Jason, to be honest, I would rather think that version of Jason was actually a rouge Skrull that came all the way from the Marvel Universe and lost his way in Gotham City. Maybe when he made the jump between universes, he got too much information and got confused and took the form of the wonkiest Jason Todd he could come up with.

This Jason was absolutely deranged, he knew exactly what he was doing and he didn’t care if innocents died. This Jason was the one that got locked up in Arkham. This is the Jason that Dick put in Arkham for Jason and everybody else’s safety.

Dick putting that Jason in Arkham wasn’t a bad thing or something that anyone can use to shit on Dick Grayson (not on this house). This Arkham was reformed and that Jason knew that if he stayed in that new Arkham he would stay away from trouble, but here is the thing, that Jason loved trouble, so he took all the tests to prove he wasn’t insane and asked to be transferred to Blackgate (where all the Red Hood’s enemies were). That Jason didn’t ask to be sent to Blackgate because the Joker was a cell away from his in Arkham, he did it so he could go on a killing spree in Blackgate (which he did when he got there).

Skrull Jason was just bloodthirsty and nothing like UtRH Jason, he had no motive other than just killing for fun or whatever. He didn’t want to protect Gotham and he couldn’t have cared less about the drug trade in Gotham. In Batman and Robin vol.1. Jason Todd was unrecognizable. And luckily, we never saw him again.

Scott Lobdell in Everything that he ever wrote about Red Hood.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Lobdell was the king of overpowering Jason, he was the one that drove Red Hood farther and farther away from his street-level vigilante status. He continuously added more to him, he was a big deal because he was meant to take down Ra’s al Ghul, he was a big deal because he was the only human to train in the All-Castle and learned to summon the All-Blades.

This Red Hood’s morals and ideals were kind of gone, there just wasn’t any kind of interest in Jason to get rid of drugs or try to control its trade in Gotham, he just had no interest in street-level threats, everything was extraordinary in both New 52 and Rebirth. If he wasn’t in space he was in some mystical land. His friends and allies became even more and more powerful, his level of power was completely off compared to the others. His personality was ever-changing and quite honestly you could barely see the Jason that he once was.

This Jason also was very inconsistent in the way that he felt towards people (obviously because Lobdell is a shitty writer), he wanted to follow Batman’s rules and was shown as someone that still had fond memories of his life with Bruce before he died but was also willing to let those memories go, to move on? Maybe? I don’t know. But he changed his mind about Bruce and following his rules or not for a very long time. Jason was also a little bitch about Dick, and he was a little bitch because he (Lobdell) never gave the reader or anyone a concrete reason as to why he hated him so much and then in Rebirth he decided that Dick wasn’t that bad. Also, Jason went from “Willis Todd, abusive husband and father that deserved to die” to “Willis Todd abusive husband and father but he sent me letters when he was in prison and Penguin had him killed so now, I really want to avenge him”. Yeah, I don’t really know why that happened and like most of Lobdell’s arcs and stuff it was never really completed or well thought out.

Lobdell’s Jason characterization was a mess for ten years and that’s the prime reason why Jason is a character with no solid background, story or future.

James Tynion IV in Red Hood and the Outlaws.

Tynion’s Jason Todd was a hero, he was like a mini Tom King Batman. Everything he did was right and there was just no way that you could bamboozle him. This Jason was able to hold to Blades that drained his soul as well as hosting the Untitled in his body (that were able to drain his soul too) and on top of all that he completed his journey of the Chosen One by making those ancient martial arts moves that he learned before he was Robin even though Talia hadn’t been able to master it yet.

Scott Snyder, Tim Seeley in Batman Eternal and Batman and Robin Eternal.

A mess, this was pure New 52 levels of bullshit and they all just wanted to push the “Batfamily” and while Dick was gone, they were trying to make Jason fill the void that Dick left in Batman events. It didn’t work at all and all they did was mess around with Jason’s characterization more.

Geoff Johns in Three Jokers.

I have talked enough about Johns’ takes on Jason Todd and Red Hood, but let me tell you something real quick, if a writer thinks that the best they can do with a character is make them give up their morals/ideals for an unrequited love interest, then they can keep that idea for themselves. Geoff Johns wrote a book that was absolutely not needed and then proceeded to butcher every characterization that he could, Three Jokers was three issues long and he managed to add more trauma to Jason’s torture, push the narrative of Jason being at fault for his own murder and make Jason’s motivations to be the Red Hood weak enough to make him want to give up his work for a woman that he barely knows (and doesn’t like him at all).

Joshua Williamson in Future State: Red Hood and Robin #5.

Now, with Williamson I have issues only when he writes Jason, not because his stories are bad, don’t get me wrong, I would have completely enjoyed FS: Red Hood if it weren’t for the completely unnecessary Rose/Jason side plot he had going on. Jason was clearly working undercover for some people that he hated working with. He had to arrest or kill “masks” (vigilantes, just like he “used” to be) for the Magistrate.

His ideas were pretty solid, Jason did the job but he never killed the masks and actively didn’t trust the Magistrate but he was working there to tear them apart from within, and that’s amazing if Williamson had given us Jason Todd/Red Hood working undercover to dismantle an organization I would have been really happy.

But that’s not all he gave us, even if I just forget about his failed attempt at giving Jason a relationship, I can still see that Williamson is the kind of writer that wants (or is just following DC) to make the “Batfamily” happen no matter how dumb and out of place it looks in comics’ canon. So, I am a little bit weary, any writer that leans too much towards making Jason and Bruce work together and become a family makes me want to scream, but I do understand that is just me, many people want those two to be buddy-buddy, I, personally, would love to see Jason kick Bruce in the balls and tell him to lose his number.

Chip Zdarsky in Urban Legends: Cheer.

Ah, yes, I remember the days in which I thought that this could have been something good. Well, I was utterly wrong and I suffered all the way through this mini. I feel like now I can safely say that Zdarsky only wanted to write a Batman book but DC told him, “Hey you can write Batman but it has to be within a Red Hood story, but don’t worry, you don’t have to know much about the Hood guy, just come up with something and write Batman around that”.

I know that’s what happened because I read that story and all we got from it was horrible characterizations for pre-Robin Jason, Robin Jason, Jason Todd and Red Hood. I don’t know how he did it but yes, he managed to mess it all up.

From Jason not really wanting to be Robin and acting recklessly every step of the way, to secret desires of a perfect family with Bruce and so many other people that he couldn’t care about, Urban Legends: Cheer is the perfect book to avoid at all costs if you believe that the concept of “Batfamily” is the biggest lie, DC is trying to profit off this time around.

Zdarsky also nerfed Jason in ways that I thought DC only wanted to nerf Dick Grayson. But I was able to see that I was wrong. Zdarsky’s run also pushed some of the most disastrous narratives that DC really wants readers to believe like: Robin Jason wasn’t good at his job, he was too reckless and ultimately his death was his own fault. Yay! I want to cry!

I will give Zdarsky two points for at the very least showing that Red Hood wants to protect children and that he has a huge issue with how the drug trade is controlled and abused in Gotham City, it had been a while since we had seen that aspect of Jason’s Red Hood make an appearance.

It’s just too many writers completely missing the point of Red Hood’s character or simply writers agreeing to destroy Jason’s uniqueness in the DC Universe so DC (as the publisher) can further push the abomination that is the “Batfamily” in comics’ canon.

I do agree with you Anon when you say that Jason isn’t just a “bad boy” but I also don’t think that we can call UtRH Jason “dangerously insane”. Personally, I will only use that last description for BftC and Batman and Robin Jason, those two were dangerously insane indeed.

UtRH Jason was very meticulous in who he wanted dead and who got to live. He entered Gotham’s most dangerous world and he had to make a big entrance, he invited the eight most prosperous street dealers to a meeting, showed up with the decapitated heads of each of their right-hand men and an AK-47 and said:

“I am offering you a deal. I will be running the drug trade from now on. You will go about your business as usual. You will kick up forty percent to me. That is a much better deal than the Black Mask will give you. In return, you will have total protection from both the Black Mask and Batman. The catch? You stay away from kids and schoolyards. No dealing to children, got it? If you do, you’re dead.”

This was Red Hood! Red Hood wanted to control the drug trade in Gotham because he knew that Gotham is far too corrupt and filled with drug lords for him to just want to eradicate drugs from Gotham. If he had tried that he would have been a dumbass, but he wasn’t. He didn’t want to start a gang war and get innocent people killed because of it, he wanted to set the rules of his new Empire and he had to start with the street-level drug dealers, from there he grew until he became a major pain in Black Mask’s ass.

We went from Jason wanting to control the drug trade and take over Gotham’s underworld so people like Black mask couldn’t have people work for him (or being dependent on him) when they were still in high school or were in a vulnerable position, to Jason fighting a war for a mystic land because he was their “Chosen One”. DC really wanted to do something grand (yet boring) with Jason instead of sticking to a street-level vigilante that could have become a Drug Lord to control the drug trade of a city that is so filled with crime and corruption that it can’t be saved by anyone.

Batman doesn’t eradicate crime, he “controls” it, puts a blank it over it, lets it nap up until it wakes up once more to make more mess.

Red Hood had other plans, certain criminals didn’t get to nap, or, better said, they would get to nap forever.

So, no. I wouldn’t call that “dangerously insane”, I will call that “vigilante that believes himself judge, jury and executioner” of a city that is drowning in crime and corruption.

Anyway, I hope you have a really nice week Anon and thank you so much for sending me this ask!

#jason todd #red hood #under the red hood #red hood and the outlaws #dc comics #future state red hood #three jokers #bftc #asksss

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rachetmath · 3 years

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Favorite (Characters)

Ruby: *barges in* RatchetMath!

Me: What is it Ruby?

Ruby: You’re showing favoritism.

Me: Okay. And?

Ruby: You need to stop. Why not draw us for once?

Me: Hm, maybe because I like Jaune more. Hell I like Penny and Neo more than you or your team.

Ruby: Why?!

Me: Because your team is horrible.

Ruby: So is team JNPR!

Me: Yeah, but only because they have to follow you. They have some individuality but we don’t explore that as much. Plus, your team would be dead without them. But you know what Ruby, I would rather draw Yang, Blake or any other character except Weiss than you right now.

Ruby: What?! But I’m-

Me: The main character that barely does main character things. Woman, Salem was in Atlas! Why was she not your top priority? Why was James your problem?

Ruby: Um well…

Me: Ruby, she knows your mother! She might know what happened to her! I get Yang was some levels your mom but shouldn’t learning what happened to your actual mom be just as important? Especially after that dark memory.

Ruby: That is true.

Me: You have silver eyes but you still don’t know how to use them. There was army of grimm around Mantle and that would have been good practice. And a better solution than Ren.

Ruby: But then I be overpowered.

Me: No. Ruby your silver eyes only work on one person. If someone sneaks up on you or doesn’t care about that light you give off then, you’re dead. Maria is proof on that.

Ruby: Um..

Me: Plus, the question that everyone in the audience could have an answer to is whether your silver eyes can even work on Salem. In all honesty, it proves the writer don’t keep track of the characters and their personalities to where they fit together in story. You know what I have been making skits, trying to be funny but… the jokes died. Look guys I-I’m sorry but… let me explain.

1. Ruby and Blake should have stayed in Mantle. Why?

1. Salem is the main villian. She knows Ruby’s mother. You know the same mother who left for a mission and didn’t come back. The same mother, who Ruby knows nothing about while everyone seems to have different perspectives of her. Or has a better clue on who she is, than Ruby herself. Plus wasn’t Salem after her too? She basically would be killing two birds with one stone by kidnapping Oscar and giving Ruby a reason to see her. That way Ruby isn’t assuming what happened to her mother. Let Salem antagonize Ruby. (Question: Can silver eyes work on Salem?)

2. Perfect training for silver eyes. Let’s face it, Ren proved to us he can mask a bunch of people without Jaune’s help. All he needed was concentration. However, Ruby is more effective because silver eyes seem to be able to destroy multiple grimm on sight. And with lives on the line that gives Ruby plenty of reason to start using them.

3. Ren calling Ruby out on her issues. Look I loved how Ren was willing to tell the truth, but him revealing Jaune cheated Beacon was… weak. Reason being it relates to Jaune’s character and Ren still follows Jaune’s orders. However, Ruby, who is supposed to be a prodigy because she came to Beacon two years ahead of her class, has not proven once that she is worthy of such praise. The only reason-The ONLY reason Ruby was enrolled into Beacon was her silver eyes. Ruby even in volume one has been nothing but liability. Initiations, she almost dies from a Stinger. Stake out, she almost got run over by a truck and it ended in failure. First mission, she gets kidnapped and almost destroyed a city block. Roman, a man with no semblance or aura continues to beat her four times in a row. And it gets worse. Ruby almost got her uncle killed. She was the first to get knocked out by Emerald. Almost dies by a robot and Godzilla. And the moment she arrived in Atlas her first move was to lie to James. She didn’t even try to stop Tyrian when she saw him. She had her gun with her too. Ren is not her sister, he might as well tell her the facts so she can do better.

4. Blake is Faunus. Mantle hates faunuses. Why not have Blake help them to prove faunuses are people too? Let Blake represent her people. I mean Velvet and Sun represent faunses more than she does her whole existence. Blake also can relate to Ren’s problem. How? Blake was a part of the White Fang, so there were expectations she had to fulfill. Especially when trying to measure up to Adam. However, she explains the longer she was in the White Fang, the more she found out how messed up and extremely bias it was. Including with Adam to the point she decided to leave. She even states she was lucky that Yang even forgave her after all the trouble she caused her. Blake challenged her bias nature, and it made her stronger for it. Blake would be basically telling Ren the more he tries to live up to someone else’s expectations, without seeing their flaws, the more he loses touch with himself and everyone around him.

5. Oscar shouldn’t have been able break out of Salem on his own: I’m sorry but… Oscar got beat up. Took a magic beam to the chest. Had to switch between him and Ozpin and mind you he had no aura to help him. He should be tired and unable to move. (In my opinion, this kid was given too much screen time. At first I was worried about him but now I’m wondering why was I worrying at all.)

2. Jaune and Yang should have gone to Atlas.

1. Penny is basically Pyrrha in the opposite light. Penny’s special because she’s a robot with a soul, a mind of her own and an attitude to prove it. She is just as human as everyone else, but no one seems to treat her as such. James only sees her as something of a weapon. Pietro treats her like child even though she’s more mature than the rest of the female cast, except Maria. And now with maiden powers, everyone is out casting Penny even more. Jaune is perfect for her because he has experience with this kind of issue. However, he would’ve had to take different route to the situation considering his failure with Pyrrha last time they had discussion on maiden powers or responsibilities (Destiny.).

2. Jaune already has been a part of maiden business since volume three. His reason to be with Penny would be make sure she doesn’t meet the same fate as Pyrrha or Amber. Not just for himself but for others around him. Especially since Cinder was in Atlas and is willing to hunt her down for the maiden powers. And James was willing to turn Penny into a soulless machine to follow his every command. (Actually, Watts is more a fault considering he hates Pietro.). James and Cinder are also opposite to Jaune in some ways. James earned his position and earned respect from his military. Jaune on the other hand cheated, and unlike James might not have everybody’s respect. Cinder treats her allies like tools. And with power she just consumes and gives nothing return. Jaune however treats his allies like family. And instead of just taking power he gives power to others around him. He’s the reason Cinder has maiden powers. So, him making it his personal mission to make sure Cinder doesn’t get more power only increases his resolve to protect Penny. (Especially since he already had to kill her in the canon finale.) In other words, James and Cinder purposed a challenge to Jaune. Can he pervert history from repeating itself? Can he really protect the maiden powers? Is he truly worthy of being a huntsman? What is he willing to risk in achieving his goal? (Also let’s be clear. Hazel beat Oscar down for the password to the relic. James shot the kid and was willing to let him fall to his death. Qrow intentionally punched the kid. I don’t care if it was for Ozpin, he still punched Oscar. Lion before even knowing Oscar was Ozpin reincarnation was already about kill him anyways. All Jaune did was push him to a wall. Yes, Jaune still would have hurt Oscar, but he didn’t. He walked away.)

3. A lot of the situations could’ve been avoided or mattered if Jaune was there. Don’t believe me? Well let me explain. Was Ruby the only option when sneaking pass Central Command? No, because they had Weiss, Nora and Penny. Weiss could have done a freezer burn like in her fight with Marrow. Or Nora could have thrown her grenades and Penny just shoots them before the hit the ground or damage anything. Both causing a smoke screen, so no one sees them. Plus, they were already caught by using Pietro credentials. Did Nora need to get knocked out for the team to escape? No. If she had Jaune with her they could’ve one caused an EMP wave being Jaune has gravity and Nora has lightning. Or two, if Nora still went through with it, Jaune would have healed her immediately. Penny lifting and keeping the arena in place. If Jaune and Weiss were with her then once Amity was in position, Weiss with Jaune’s assistances can keep it place so Penny can come back inside and the whole video could be played. Also, Pietro would know what was going on with his daughter and can properly explain how to fix her. (Better than Jaune healing her.)

4. Nora’s whole character is knowing who she is without Ren right? Then why not just have her lead the evacuation once she’s done with Atlas? Why not have her and Yang work together along with the happy huntress to evacuate Mantle? Especially if their friends disappeared to save Oscar. (And before ya’ll tell me they can’t do it….. Yang, blocked a punch from a mech, held off a Manticore, and has a semblance that literally lets her take damage and dish it back five times harder. Nora who literally crushed Weiss and Yang in a food fight. Knocked a giant horse down on its knee. And knocked Hazel away. Are you seriously saying these girls are not enough to take on a few little tigers? Come on!) If the whole point of Nora’s character development was finding out more about herself then let Nora try something without Ren. Let her call the shots. Let her take charge. Give her a character. (Hell don’t stop there. Have her interact with other characters. Like Jaune. Yang. Weiss. Or anyone other character than Ren. Let them tell her what they think about her. Let Nora be a solution to a character’s struggle. Ya’ll make it sound like Nora has no friends.)

5. All Yang needed was a break from Ruby and Blake. In all honesty Yang should have been the one to see the hounds face and kill it. Why? Well Ruby is Yang’s sister and only reminder of her nonblood related mother. And Blake is her girlfriend. And if we saw the hound’s face, we know it’s not just a silver eyed person. It’s also a faunus. This will give her a reason to protect both her loved ones because by seeing the hound she knows Salem intention with Ruby and want to keep her, and Blake from meeting the same fate of being turned into monsters. Yang should’ve been the 2nd to 4th member of team RWBY to fall. Why? One, a Yang vs Neo fight. Two, Cinder and Neo both wanted Ruby dead. So why not get rid of Ruby first? The fights would have been more thrilling and seeing the character, the show is named after, presumed to be dead would have added stakes and tension to the fight. (Also let me say this. Why is it, that the only great display of the maiden powers I’ve ever seen, was from Amber and not the maidens, as of now, Winter, Raven, and Cinder? The maiden powers are basically magic right? Why isn’t Cinder using any other element than fire?)

6. Weiss was completely useless. Look, as the saying goes, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” And when it came to Weiss and family, she has little to no clue of what it is nor deserves it. Weiss should have been more of an inspiration for Whitley to do right. How? By simply talking to him. What reason would she have other than Mantle? Simple, he’s her brother and she started off like him. Beacon, she was a brat. She was arrogant. And more importantly a jerk. Blake ran because of her racist attitude. Ruby literally had to impress her to prove she can be leader. Even though Weiss is not leadership martial herself. Plus, hearing May and how she and her family never resolved their issues should inspire Weiss to not repeat that mistake. And guess what, her mom, Willow, the drinker of the family, wasn’t wrong. Both her and Winter left Whitley alone. Klein wasn’t there for him either. All Whitley had was his father. So Weiss, actually acting like his sister and trying to help him allows him to feel less alone. Instead Weiss was complete Jacque through out the entire volume.

And that’s all. Look I know I should have seen this coming but I had to say it. Volume 8 could’ve been good. The problem was.

1. Characters are not placed well within the story.

2. We lost track of who said characters are.

3. The ships are in the way.

4. Being dumb for the plot. (Sometimes it’s necessary.)

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asexual-juliet · 3 years

Note

Hello, sorry to bother you, but I was reading your older posts and now im so hyperfocusing on Dick Casablancas. He’s potentially the worst person ever, and I think I still really like him??? It doesn’t make sense, but he had so much room for character development!!! He had been through so much trauma and had a objectively pretty bad childhood/parents, and I think he could have been a really decent person if he was allowed to be anything other than the comic relief. Also I love your work.

this is literally the opposite of bothering me. you’ve given me the go ahead to talk about this piece of trash garbage boy as much as i want and for that you have my eternal gratitude!!

honestly, when i say i love dick casablancas, i’m talking about the version of his character that i have created in my head where s3 explored his trauma and he actually worked through his shit and became a better person. but alas.

the big thing to remember with dick is that he was supposed to be a minor character, but the writers liked ryan hansen so much that they started writing him in more until he became a series regular. so by the time they decided they wanted to write him as this funny, likable character, they had already set him up as a guy who treats women like shit and does creepy things with rapey undertones.

and honestly, this is understandable! they didn’t realize how fun dick’s character could be until they had already made him into a shitty person. the problem is that instead of addressing it, they chose to ignore it and hope the viewers would forget.

obviously the biggest problem with dick’s character is him encouraging cassidy to rape veronica as established in 1x21. the writers wrote it thinking that dick would remain an unimportant minor character and that the rape plotline would end with duncan, but they chose later to write dick a bigger role and retcon the rape, giving his actions real, dire consequences, and there was a conscious effort to make the viewers forget about the worst thing the character ever did. it’s a really shitty part of his character, and there’s no divorcing dick from his actions, but the writers could have acknowledged it and had him grow past it, especially after s2 when cassidy’s abuse came to light.

cassidy’s plotline gave them a perfect opportunity to explore dick’s shitty past actions and have him reflect!! sexual abuse thoroughly fucked cassidy up, and s3 could have been a great opportunity for dick to take a step back and see the effect that his gross non-consensual actions could eventually have on the girls he harassed, but the writers ignored it in favor of writing him as the two-dimensional comic relief.

dick had an incredible amount of potential after everything went down with cassidy, and we saw the writers tap into that a little bit with the scene in 3.01 where he shows up at logan’s suite and cries, the scene in 3.18 where he asks logan about what happened on the rooftop, and the scene in 3.18 where he calls his dad out on his bullshit (as well as the more subtle way they had him spend basically all of s3 drunk), but they could have done so much more with it and just didn’t!! dick is genuinely one of, if not the most traumatized characters on the show and we deserved to see that side of him much more than we did.

also like you pointed out, dick is the product of two shitty parents, and i think it would also be super interesting to explore his relationship with his dad a little more! because dick was his dad’s golden boy, but his dad also treated cassidy like shit, and to have dick deal with that and kind of start to realize the negative lasting effects his dad’s toxic masculine ideals continue to have on him would’ve been so interesting. so many of his shittier traits are learned behaviors, and that would have been so interesting to highlight

also. this is irrelevant but how fucked up is it that the only place dick had to go after he was kicked out of his dorm was to the building his brother threw himself off of??? how lonely is he that that is the only place he has to go??? and how hard is it for him to live there for at least a year??? the fact that he came to logan’s suite saying “i have nowhere else to go” ...the thing is he could’ve easily gone home because his dad skipped town and kendall’s dead but like??? he chooses the place his brother died over the place where he lived which is absolutely heartbreaking. like, the neptune grand is where cassidy left mac, tried to kill veronica, where he killed woody, and where he killed himself and dick still chooses to live there. and i’m definitely reading too much into it but part of me is gonna put his decision on the fact that he lived in his house with cassidy and didn’t notice anything when he was being abused/killing people/raping veronica and if he lived there alone guilt would definitely overpower him. but at the grand logan is there and dick’s not alone and yeah, it’s where cassidy died, but dick wasn’t there to witness everything that happened that night, and he really couldn’t specifically have stopped the actions of that night, but he blames himself for not noticing something was off with cassidy and bullying him and being home might remind him of that.

in conclusion: girls don’t want boys girls want a solid narrative arc that focuses on dick casablancas and his unresolved trauma. thank you so much for the valid asf ask.

#ask #dick casablancas #cassidy casablancas #veronica mars #vmars #vm #veronica mars spoilers #yes dick is a piece of shit yes i love that dumbass dearly #im so sorry i wrote so much i just have a lot of feelings

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xyzcekaden · 3 years

Text

🚍 unsuspecting sunday afternoon 🚍

by me, xyzcekaden! a pokemon fanfic about when the one you hate to love is made for you

How capable is the human heart now?

fandom: pokemon, gen 3, advanced generation characters: ash, may, steven stone in a “supporting” role ship: advanceshipping genre: romance, angst themes: friendship, pre-relationship, slowburn, 6+1 if you squint setting: modern, hoenn, pokemon universe lite word count: 4.6k rating: T

read it below, on ffnet, or on ao3!

A/N (9.7.201): So this has been in my drafts since about April 2020 😅 Sure, I'm happy to finally share something new with the small yet strong advanceshipping fandom; but more than that, I'm relieved this document can no longer taunt me with its incompletion, hahaha. Do let me know what you think! Especially with this opening formatting; I'm trying something new. :)

Nothing sensitive in the fic, but the characters are all adults so it felt fitting to rate it T. Title taken from the song of the same name by the Backstreet Boys, and its lyrics/sentiments are interwoven throughout. The narrative is inspired and framed by monstaxnight's anonymous ask. If you recognise it, it doesn't belong to me. Thanks for reading!

~~~

fall for someone whose body would start fires

On a Saturday, May asked Ash to come over the next day. “I need a second opinion on something,” she had said. “It’ll be super quick.”

Of course, ‘super quick’ means Ash has enough time to set his switch up on May’s gigantic living room tv and play a few rounds of his favourite fighting video game while she gets ready for something or another in her room. He always acts like he has better things to do than help her with her sundry weekly ventures, but they both know he’d rather do ‘nothing’ with her than ‘something’ on his own somewhere else.

“Okay, Ash, are you ready?” May’s voice rings out. “Yeah,” he answers distractedly, strategically button smashing.

“So I kept the jeans from this last outfit, but this top I just got two weekends ago and haven’t had a chance to wear yet,” May narrates as she exits her room. “I had the, frankly, brilliant idea of using the jacket from Outfit 1 and pairing it with those heels you paid for for my birthday, et voila!”

The clacking of heels stops at the entrance of the hallway. “What do you think?’

Ash redirects his attention to May. His avatar dies on screen, just like his voice dies in his throat.

“You, um, you look great.”

In actuality, May looks smoking hot, but that’s not new for either of them. His best friend is supremely attractive, and he knew it and had no problem acknowledging it normally. This time, however, May doesn’t just look physically great, she also looks like she feels like she looks great. He doesn’t know how much sense that makes; but there is decidedly something different, and Ash feels a strange sense of dread in his chest.

May beams, taking the inarticulate response in stride. “Well that’s a winning endorsement if I ever heard one! Now let’s just hope Steven has as great of a reaction.” She turns to one of the many full-length mirrors stationed around her condo and reviews the outfit with a critical eye.

This brings Ash out from his stupor. “‘Steven’?” he repeats as he sits up on the couch. “You’re going on a date?”

“It’s not a date,” May replies in a tone that clearly conveys that she would not be opposed to it turning into a date. “My dad is having dinner with an old business partner, and the guy’s bringing his son along, so me and Max were invited, too. We were kinda friends back when we were young, but it’s not like we’ve kept in touch or anything. I just figured I should make a good second first-impression… You know, for my dad’s sake.”

Ash can tell the last bit was just something she’s telling herself to rationalise why she’s trying so hard, and it doesn’t sit right with him. He slinks back down on the couch dejectedly and halfheartedly starts a new game.

He finds himself wondering how often they hung out and how much whatever-that-number-was-teenth impressions were worth. He hopes it’s a lot.

~~~

fall for someone who always runs from his kiss

“… And I was right! They were roommates!” May boisterously ends her story, almost losing her ice cream to physics as she wildly gesticulates.

They’re just strolling around the park that’s honestly nowhere near either of their apartments; but over the years, it became their park anyway. They didn’t even set plans to hang out today, but it kinda just happened―a recurring theme in their friendship, admittedly.

For his part, Ash hides a smirk with a lick to his own ice cream, not bothering to say or do anything to protect her treat. If she hasn’t learned by now, she never would. “Oh my god, they were roommates,” he deadpans instead.

May sends him an unimpressed smirk and lightly smacks Ash’s shoulder. He yelps. She yanks her hand back as soon as she realises, but the damage is done.

He blinks down at the cold, vanilla, rainbow-sprinkled stain before raising his gaze to meet May’s equally stunned one.

They stare in silence for a moment, then May cracks a conciliatory grin. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry?”

He shrugs it off easily. “I probably deserved it,” he says, making peace with the knowledge that his previous unwillingness to protect her ice cream from any accidents is the undoubted origin for his current poor luck. He nods toward the path. “Shall we?”

“We passed by a restroom a little bit ago. We can clean you up,” May disagrees, tugging on his arm in the opposite direction.

“‘S fine,” he argues as he tries to continue walking forward.

“Ash, it’ll stain!” She tugs harder.

“It’ll be an improvement!” He’s overpowering her, but not as easily as he’d like.

“Why are you being such a butthead about this!?” She’s pulling with all her strength now, this being a matter of pride to her at this point.

“Come on, May!” Ash heaves one last time.

They tumble head over feet onto the ground, but that’s not the reason Ash feels like his world has turned upside down.

May’s body weighs comfortably on his, his hands naturally settle on her waist with hers on his chest, and his brown eyes bore into her blues. Their ice cream has fallen… somewhere, but Ash doesn’t concern himself with that considering this is the closest they’ve been since they first met.

They’ve been toeing this line since then, too.

I’m gonna do it, he thinks to himself.

He closes his eyes.

He leans in.

May scrambles away.

Ash sits up and blinks at the sight of May’s confused, furious eyes. “Ash, what are you doing?” Her voice croaks like her throat is dry. It makes him clear his own before dumbly responding, “I was trying to kiss you.”

“Why??” she asks, her voice strangled. He pushes himself off the ground warily as he watches her hold herself, bite her lip, shake her head in a panic; and somehow in all of that, he understands.

“I thought it wasn’t a date.” Ash tries so hard not to sound accusatory, but her wince in response proves it didn’t work. It also proves his fear correct.

He turns, hiding as if the people walking by could discern his transgression and shame by the sight of his face alone. Besides, his mind can conjure up an image of her running away just fine on its own.

Ash notices the remnants of their impromptu outing splattered on the ground near his feet. He picks up what he can and stomps over to the nearest trash bin, throwing it in as hard as he can to let out some of his frustration.

He hopes he hasn’t gone and screwed everything up.

~~~

fall for someone whose lips belong to someone else

They don’t talk about it, and then it’s too late.

“Ash, this is Steven,” she tells him softly, as if it could make up for how it feels like the sight of her arms wrapped around the guy’s torso and his arm casually thrown over her shoulder assaults him every time he blinks.

“Steven Stone. It’s great to finally meet you. May speaks of you highly,” Steven introduces with a dignified air. Not pompous, no; he is just someone who was raised being told that he was going to do important things and who happened to believe it.

They shake hands, and Ash’s fingers feel cold, a marked contrast to how there’s something in his chest that’s burning.

Inside the restaurant, the waitress asks if a table is okay, and no one asks for a booth instead. In his seat, Ash is neither directly in between nor directly across from the newly-established couple, and he wonders if this is where all his luck went into.

Lunch goes better than expected.

Ash was prepared to hate the guy, but what is there to hate? Steven has a decent sense of humour, loves pokemon but loves rocks even more, and is COO of the biggest enterprise in Hoenn. He is a safe, sensible choice. This guy isn’t going to break May’s heart.

As the meal winds down, Steven offers to pay for everyone; but Ash still has his pride. In the end, he manages to negotiate paying for just his own plate and drink, knowing he has no right to battle for the privilege of paying for May’s.

He wouldn’t even do so on a typical occasion anyway; but as far as Ash is concerned, Steven’s presence throws all of the friends’ typical rules of engagement out the window.

They say goodbye and part ways in front of the restaurant.

A few steps later, Ash snaps his fingers as he recalls something. He turns around to remind May of their movie plans in a few days, and he is met with the sight of the couple sharing a sweet kiss on the corner while waiting for the light to change.

Steven could never break May’s heart, but he sure can break Ash’s.

Ash turns back and continues walking. He hopes May can remember on her own.

~~~

fall for someone whose touch is way too much

May insists that nothing has changed between them, but clearly something has because Ash doesn’t remember ever being so anxious about her proximity before.

He had always been aware of her, though. Always. When your first meeting is saving the other from getting run over by a tour bus, you quickly develop the habit of keeping track of where the person is at all times.

Between his athleticism and her natural proclivity towards tactileness, casual physical exchanges quickly became their norm: hugs and high fives, friendly elbows in the rib after a good joke and sharing a blanket as they watch a movie, (lingering touches on the shoulder and holding hands even after they’ve escaped a crowd… or did he make those up?).

They were controlled yet unmistakably affectionate markers of their relationship.

But now?

When she shifts one centimetre closer to him in line at the mall food court, he accidentally overpays by fifty pokeyen out of distraction. When she grabs his fork out of his hand to try a piece of his takoyaki, he jerks so hard at the contact that he spills his soft drink all over the table. When she pats him dry using flimsy food court napkins with a joke about ice cream in her voice and fondness in her eyes, he needs to claim a rapid-onset fever in order to give himself an excuse to cut their lunch short immediately.

These innocent touches have been an ever-present facet of their friendship since basically the beginning; and even when he realised he was in love, they hadn’t affected him like this.

Things are different now, despite what she says.

Well, maybe not things; maybe just him.

He had allowed himself to revel in their familiar touches when she was single because he could, because there was no one else that she was supposed to be able to make feel like this. Even if the feeling wasn’t meant for him, it wasn’t meant for anyone else either.

But now.

He can’t, in good conscience, allow his heart to rush and his smile to form and his hand to squeeze back. It wouldn’t be fair to May, not when she’s trusting him with her friendship and he’s taking more from her than that.

Even though he’d like nothing else than to keep that closeness, to go back to how it was between them before, this is the way it has to be now. He just hopes she can understand.

~~~

fall for someone he doesn’t want to feel for

On sleepless nights, he wonders when.

He knows the who, what, why, and how; but the when eludes him.

...

They were both breathing heavy, attention focused on the spot of the road where the girl would have flattened like a pancake if it weren’t for his quick reflexes and hero complex.

The clapping of a few passers-by snapped them out of their shock and into the realisation that he still had her protectively cradled to his chest.

They quickly broke apart, and he took the time to wave off the praise from the gathered crowd while she checked her purse to see if everything was inside.

“You got everything?” he asked after people’s attentions finally turned back towards their own lives.

“Yeah, I do,” the girl replied, and her voice was rather cheery considering the ordeal she just survived. (He would later learn that was her default.)

“Great,” he said, genuine yet awkward.

They continued staring at each other. The adrenaline from their brush with danger hadn’t worn off yet; his heart was still beating very fast.

“So, um, have a good day,” he bade after it was clear neither of them had anything more to say. He made to return to his errands, but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“You saved my life, and you’re just gonna walk away?” she asked incredulously.

He blinked at her. “I’ll be honest; I wasn’t aware there was an after-action protocol for this sort of situation.”

She was incredulous for only a second before she giggled at him. “The least I can do is buy you lunch to say ‘thank you.’”

“Well, I’ve never turned down a free meal,” he accepts with a grin.

She giggled again then stuck out her hand. “My name’s May.”

“Ash.”

...

No, it wasn’t then. Nor was it during the meal they shared, nor at the bar where they happened to see each other that weekend, nor while they were escaping from the bar fight that she accidentally instigated that night.

...

“Is this going to become a running gag? Will I have to constantly be saving you from trouble you unintentionally get yourself into?” Ash panted after he directed her to duck into a nearby alley.

“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, this automatically makes me the most interesting friend you’ve got,” May countered.

He took one extra second to check no one was following them then cut a glance at her. “I don’t know about you, but most of my friends have my number.”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Smooth.” They switched phones and exchanged numbers.

“Better memorize that by heart,” he jested as he handed her her phone back. “Don’t wanna waste your one phone call at the station just because you mixed up the last two digits by accident.”

“If the next time you hear from me is because I went and got myself arrested, just leave me to rot. I must have earned it,” she smirked.

...

Luckily, the next time one of them reached out to the other wasn’t to bail the former out of jail. May invited him to a pool party for her birthday, where he handily won a water balloon fight and impressed everyone by fixing the grill for their barbeque. Their friendship continued to progress naturally: movie nights that turned into impromptu sleepovers, brunches that turned into walks around town. Several shopping trips and video games and hikes later, they were each other’s best friends. It was basically inevitable.

So when? When would he have had the chance to fall in love with her?

...

“Hello?”

“Ash, you picked up!” she sounded surprised―happy, but surprised―and he winced. He knew he’d been blowing her off a little more often lately, but making her think he’d turn down her phone call?

“Heh, yeah, sorry about that,” he said, betting on the hope that she somehow implicitly understood everything he was apologising for. “Is everything okay?”

For an extended second, she was quiet, then she said, “I need to tell you something.”

His hackles rose, and he started grabbing his keys and putting on his shoes. Maybe she finally ended up in jail. “Where are you? I can be there in ten minutes, maybe twenty with traffic―”

She giggled, and he paused. That was her nervous giggle. “May?” he asked, still wary but not about to race out of his house with only his boxers on.

“No! No, it’s nothing like that. It’s just… Steven told me he loves me.”

His breath left his lungs.

“And I told him I love him back,” she continued.

All the adrenaline that had surged through his body only moments before completely left him at her words, and his limbs locked up instead. He felt cold.

“Hello?”

He didn’t even realise he had sunk to his knees until he meant to take a step back towards the couch. He just slumped onto his butt. “That’s―” He had to clear his throat. “That’s gotta be recent.”

He could slap himself. He sounded as dead as he felt. He tried again: “I mean, that’s great news, May! He’s a lucky guy. Yeah.”

She sighed with relief. Could Steven tell what her sighs meant over the phone? ”I’m the lucky one, I think,” she said happily, and that was his last straw.

“Heh, yeah, well,” he sputtered out, just to have something to say. “Listen, since you’re not in danger or anything, uh, you actually caught me at a bad time, so I gotta go. I’ll catch you later, yeah?”

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

“Wait, Ash! Before you go!”

He held back a sigh. “What’s up, May?”

“It’s just… You’re right; it is recent. You’re actually the first person I told.”

“I’m honoured.” He couldn’t help the sarcasm that spilled out, but he backtracked quickly. “I mean it. Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, Ash; I tell you everything. At this point, it’s like I have to; nothing would ever feel real otherwise.”

He shut his eyes. He really couldn’t take this anymore. “I know what you mean. Same here.”

She made a cute sound, a quiet little ‘hmm,’ and that was when the first tear spilled out. “Alright, I’ve taken up enough of your time. I’ll text you later!!” she promised.

“Later,” he repeated, both an echo and a goodbye; and finally, blissfully, he ended the call.

...

When, when, when?!

That was supposed to be one of the sweetest moments of her young adult life, and she called on him―trusted him, even―to be happy for her. When did he get to the point where he couldn’t even do that? Instead, he recalls it now as he struggles to fall asleep, playing the memory at half-speed over and over again in his imagination, and all he does is hope.

He desperately hopes it’ll stop hurting so much.

~~~

fall for someone with the sweetest rebel heart

When he finds out he didn’t get the promotion he was vying for at work, there’s no one else’s comfort he sought but May’s.

“I’m sorry that happened, Ash,” May soothes as she rubs rhythmic circles into Ash’s back. They’re in her condo, noticeably nicer maintained than Ash’s flat, side by side on the sofa. It is the first time he’s let her touch him in weeks, and he really needs it. “At least now they know you’re interested? It might be your turn next time.”

Ash snorts but nods anyway. He’s usually the type to look at the bright side, but it would be an understatement to say that he is simply disappointed. After all the L’s he’s been taking in his personal life, he had been hoping at least something would go his way professionally.

May continues, “Just make sure not to let this setback actually set you back. Keep putting your best foot forward, and I know you’ll win those guys over… just like you did with me!” She ends with a wink, trying her hardest to inject some levity into the situation.

Just like that, Ash’s mood sours even more. “You can’t say that to me, May,” he angrily replies as he shuffles out of her hold.

“What are you talking about?” she pouts as she feebly tries to get him to lay back against the couch so that the cold air can’t get under the blanket they are sharing.

“I didn’t ‘win you over,’ clearly.” He shrugs off her touch and scoots away. He has spent so long trying to keep his bitterness inside, but he doesn’t have the emotional wherewithal to regulate himself right now. He’s tired of trying to get over things that make him upset.

May frowns, the furrow between her brow getting deeper as she sits up straight on the sofa. “Ash, why are you talking like that? I meant, like, how we became friends, obviously. I didn’t grow to love you by accident.”

Ash stands then, balling the blanket up and throwing it back on the couch. “I bet Steven wouldn’t be too happy to hear you say that.”

She follows suit, her voice elevating in volume as if to match. “I bet Steven wouldn’t appreciate being judged by someone who’s only met him once―despite my efforts otherwise, might I add.”

“I bet Steven would love to hear his girlfriend say she loves another guy.”

“I bet Steven isn’t dumb enough to think I can’t love you both.”

“You don’t love me, May!” Ash finally explodes.

He has never raised his voice like this, not to her, but he’s tired. He’s tired of loving someone he can’t have, he’s tired of hating himself for it, and he’s tired of the guilt when he takes it out on her despite all his attempts not to.

She looks like she’s torn between yelling right back or kicking him out; and before she could make up her mind, he collects himself enough so he could bring his voice down. He states simply, “Not the way you love Steven.” Not the way I love you.

He doesn’t say it, but he can tell she hears it anyway. He clears his throat and turns around, trying to hide without running away. “Hearts don’t work like that,” he murmurs into the room.

He makes to leave, but May’s hand on his shoulder stops him. She forcibly turns him back to face her, and Ash is shocked at the determined set to her face. Her eyes, bluer than a water stone and twice as powerful, hold him as captive as they always have. “You listen to me, Ash Ketchum.” Her tone brokers no argument. “If you thought for a second that I stopped loving you because I fell in love with Steven, you clearly underestimated what my heart is capable of.”

Her grip on him tightens, as if making sure he is still with her in the moment. “It’s big enough for the both of you; and if that’s not the way hearts are supposed to work, then I’ll just be the exception that proves the rule.”

She pulls him into a hug then, like locking that promise between them, and he dares let himself hope she means that.

~~~

fall for someone whose heart needs sewing up

Ash wasn’t expecting a knock on his door this late at night, and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see a beautifully made up May Maple standing in the hallway, mascara-tinged tears and runny nose notwithstanding.

"Steven is moving to Alola to support Devon Corp’s expansion," is all she said, but even that much is hard to make out through her watery voice.

The news sinks in, and Ash’s heart feels like someone moved it three centimetres to the left: still there, still functional, but not at all where he needs it to be.

"You’ve always talked about going to Alola," is the only way he could respond, thinking of all the times they’ve imagined taking a week off and vacationing in the tropical region. He won’t, can’t let himself think about anything else or else he’d break down.

In his heartbreak, he cannot recognise May's tears, which are too raw and too loud to be that of someone bearing regrettable news. These are the tears of a confused, broken heart.

"Ash, I'm not going," she sniffles, still stiffly standing outside his door. "He asked me not to."

Finally understanding that he misunderstood, Ash is even more disoriented than he was before. "Why would he do that?" he asks, obviously still trying to wrap his mind around what the hell was happening.

"I don’t know!" May yells while clenching her fists and stomping a high-heeled foot. It is the most movement she's made since he opened the door. "I demanded a reason, and he spewed nonsense at me! He said―" and she stops. Her whole body slumps back into stillness but without the stiffness of before. She continues quietly, "He said he didn’t want to see what I’d look like with my heart so far outside of my chest," like a guilty confession. Ash is at once reminded of their almost-fight a month ago, and he still isn’t sure what this all means.

He almost asks, Why wouldn’t he believe your heart was right where you were? or How capable is the human heart now? but he doesn’t.

Instead, he finally welcomes May inside. He sits her on the couch and helps her take off her heels before she wraps herself up in the blanket he keeps there―a blanket he only has, he remembers, because when she first visited his apartment, she insisted his couch needed one. She doesn’t just hold the blanket around her shoulders; she hides her entire frame within its folds. He merely sits on the couch next to the lump and places a solitary hand on top, unsure where it was resting yet hoping it is providing comfort nevertheless.

He wonders if May ever let Steven see her like this, the way she needs to shut out all stimuli as if to physically recreate her darkest moments. He wonders why he loves that she does that, even though it causes him so much selfish pain to be close enough to see her like this but shut out from her healing.

"I don’t think I have a boyfriend anymore," May says at length, voice dampened by the space and fabric between them.

It would have been the happiest news of Ash’s adult life if it weren’t for the extreme melancholy that laced her tone as she said it out loud.

He squeezes his hand into a fist on top of the blanket, his signal that he’d like to hug her if he could.

"I would have missed you if you left." Ash gives a nonsequitur-confession in response. May burrows deeper into the blankets and says nothing.

Instead, she reaches a hand out from a heretofore unseen opening in the fabric and holds on to his other hand tightly.

Ash stares at her slender knuckles, made paler from her firm grasp, and stops hoping.

He gently plies her fingers from his palm and tries not to feel guilty about the shocked, embarrassed way the hand pulls back into the blanket as he leaves her there.

The love of his life needs compassion right now. This is not his opportunity to sweep her off her feet; this is not his second chance.

He returns from the bedroom, settles back into his place on the couch, and forces May out of the blanket.

~~~

May jerks her head up, shocked and angry and still embarrassed from her rejected attempt to seek Ash’s comfort, but she is quickly mollified into confusion. The expected sight of Ash’s lit up form in his lit up living room ends up being no different from the blackness from which she thought she was rudely taken.

It is so dark under the extra, larger blanket that she can’t even see Ash’s nose even though she can sense his head is mere inches from hers.

His hands find hers in the darkness and squeeze. Relief flashes through her as she finally surrenders to the deep, thick slice of heartbreak.

May wants to see his face, but she settles for a hug.

#pokemon #pokemon fanfiction #advshipping #advanceshipping #ash ketchum #may maple #aamaylove #satoharu #unsuspecting #xyzc*

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saucysamu · 4 years

Note

Hi, I guess this is an emergency request. It’s totally fine if you can’t do it, I know these things can be a bit dark. So I relapsed into self harm again. After quite a long time actually. And it’s just very demoralizing, knowing that I’m back at the start and that just makes it that much harder to stay clean. Because I feel like a failure. I had an ex that was a jerk about it, so that just terrifies me to open up about it. So I can get really defensive, but I try not to be. It’s just a difficult thing for me to process, and I try my best to be mentally healthy, but sometimes that’s not exactly possible. Right now I’m just kind of emotionally done. So I guess maybe how Suna, Kita, Atsumu and maybe Bokuto would react with that. Idk what’s the limit of characters. If there’s a limit, just take out characters. I know it’s possible for me to be happy, it’s just getting there lol. I love flowers and watching bumble bees buzzing around. Wasps can F off tho 💀. Just gotta find things like that you know. Anyways, I hope you are doing well! And remember to prioritize your mental health always 💖✨. It’s really kind what you’re doing, but make sure not to get overwhelmed!!

Suna and Kita reacting to their s/o relapsing to sh

Warning: s*lfharm

part 2: Bokuto and Atsumu reacting to their s/o relapsing to sh : coming soon

Suna

Ngl it took him off guard but at the same time it didn’t ?

you never told him out of embarrassment, fearing rejection if you did tell him

after dating for a while you were doing alright so you didn’t feel the need to tell him I mean, that was in the past…right?

don’t think he never noticed your scars, even if they faded in color, he isn’t dumb

he never brought it up in a conversation though — for one because he didn’t know how, and secondly he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. If you wanted to talk about it you just would have done so, at least he thinks that.

so when he discovers fresh scars he just freezes

he feels kinda nauseous not knowing what to do tbh

you’re his only breaking point - his sarcastic, cold demeanor only lasting until something happens to you.

you can’t think of a single time you ever saw him so vulnerable - just like he never saw you like that

it was probably in a casual moment when he noticed - like you grabbing something from the top shelf and your sleeve rolling down

both of your hearts drop, making you put your sleeve into position again, avoiding his gaze. After it took him some seconds to find his composure again he slowly makes his way to you and gently grabs one side of your cheek to press the side of your face against his chest. He repeatedly kisses the top of your head gently while his beating heart eases the lump in your throat. With his other hand he reaches out for your fingers to intertwine them lazily, rubbing the palm with his thumb.

he keeps quiet, being scared of saying anything to upset you. He doesn’t need to though, you just feel that you’re safe with him.

you both are each others home, you know that and he knows too. No matter how stone cold he seems to others, you know he’s in fact the opposite

you sigh shakingly, muttering an apology since guilt overpowers you now

he clicks his tongue and shakes his head while pulling you closer

I’m sorry I didn’t notice.. I should have paid more attention.

Suna was never the type to understand why someone would hurt themselves. It didn’t solve the problem, it made him frown. He never left disgusting remarks though - he just didn’t get it, or he didn’t care enough. And no one around him has ever done that so why should he care? But people have their reasons right? Well if it wasn’t for you he still wouldn’t know what it meant to doubt yourself but having no strength to do anything about it. What it meant to never feel good enough. What it meant to lose desire and joy in everything. Thanks to you he developed some kind of empathy, flipping a switch in his mind. He’s become more patient and understanding, making you unable to comprehend how his piercing eyes can look so gentle when you meet his gaze. Before him, all you’ve known was people blaming you for how you felt — and how you coped. But he’s never blamed you once. And why would he? He’d gain nothing from making you feel worse, he’s aware of this much. He isn’t obvious about it, never even talked to his friends about it to protect you, but also to protect himself. He’d honestly rather avoid things that make him seem weak and vulnerable. Suna’s just not someone who likes to admit weakness. If the others knew how soft he could be for his significant other, they would never, and I mean NEVER, let him live down on that. Too bad you got him wrapped around your finger - in every way possible. Cause despite not knowing how to deal with..specific situations, he just pulls you into a hug. For as long as it needs to last, neither of you care how long you keep hugging in the middle of a room. Or a hallway. Or a mall. He couldn’t care less the only thing that matters is to make you feel loved, valid. That’s his way of being there for you. Cradling in his scent and warmth, with lidded eyes you feel at home.

Kita

he knows about your past, like who are we kidding he knows everything lmao

of course he knows, he’d want to know every little thing about you only if you’re comfortable tho like he wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to

idk I just think his trust would crack if you lied to him or hid something from him.

He’d rather have you tell him you don’t want to talk about it than just blatantly lie to him

talking it out,, a lot of talking

but it’s okay because it never felt like Kita would judge you in any way

he’s so attentive when he listens to you, he never misses ANYTHING and also remembers the smallest details about you

you can be sure that he’s the best support system, he’s patient, gentle and just overall willing to help, giving alternatives etc.

so damn proud of you for fighting

it’s been a while since you’ve done anything to yourself so when you relapse you don’t know how to face him without feeling guilty,,

you don’t even need to say it out loud, your behavior gives away what’s happened

he sighs and frowns apologetically, reaching out for your hands

his thumbs stroking softly over your fingers

“May I..?“ He glances to where you hurt yourself. Insecure about your prior action you bite the inside of your cheek. “It’s not that bad anyway..“ You try to talk your way out of it and notice the way his eyebrow twitches in displeasure at your choice of words. “Sorry..“ You say awkwardly as you give in to his touch. Kita brushes up the fabric covering your wounds to take a closer look. You watch his every move as he closes his eyes for a moment, sighing. “Come with me.“ he nods in the direction of your bathroom, making you sit down on the toilet as you get there. Never on earth would you have ever thought you’d witness someone taking care of you so deliberately. Why were you that scared again? You sigh out in relief, earning a confused look of your boyfriend. It wouldn’t stop him though, the only thing he’d do would probably be pulling a grimace whenever you inhaled sharply at the stinging disinfectant. He’s still kneeling in front of you, doesn’t even hesitate to look at you directly before he gets up to cup your face, placing a light kiss on your lips. Picking you up, he carries you to the living room, letting you down on the sofa. “Wait here“ - he left the room as soon as the words left his mouth, only for him to come back with some plushies, blankets and pillows. Bet you’re gonna spend the rest of the day on the sofa, not that you’d complain. However, you end up cuddled up with dozens of plushies around you, the side of your head resting on Kitas chest. You talk and you talk and you talk, until there’s nothing left to say. Don’t think he didn’t notice the way you’re dragging yourself down because of that. He furrows his brows and after some silence he lightly pushes your chin up to make you look at him. “You know I’m not mad at you right?“ You feel your eyes burn at the sincerity of his words. He breathes out a laugh and places kisses all over your face. “You know that relapsing is part of healing and improving right?“ He kisses you all over again. “And you know that healing isn’t a straight-lined process right?“ Man you can barely bite back your tears anymore. If some out stander would have watched the whole scene, they probably would have been shocked at the way Kita started chuckling wholeheartedly. He almost felt sorry - but he wasn’t laughing at you - he just couldn’t help it, you looked too adorable. ”You’ll be just fine, I know you will and I’ll be the one to watch you bloom.“

Hey anon!

I’m sorry it’s taking me way too long to respond but I’m grateful you’re understanding so thank you for your patience.🥺

Don’t be confused as to why I only wrote for Suna and Kita for now, I’ll plan on doing another part for Bokuto and Atsumu! I hope reading that lifted your mood and that you’re doing better now.🥺 take care and stay strong 💖

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu x mental health #kagssupports #kagsemergency #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu writing #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hc #haikyuu x reader #suna x y/n #suna x reader #kita x y/n #kita x reader

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exodusmc · 4 years

Text

Outsider 04

PsGenre: Power au, war au, rebel au

Words: 1680

Paring: Light manipulator Baekhyun x Lieutenant Reader

Side character/s: Yixing

Warning!: Mentions of posion, mentions of guns, use of force, death, mentions of beating

a/n: Why is he so cute all the time!? The whole delight album is just so happy! :)

Gif is not mine

Previous Next

Baekhyun sat in the canteen, watching how the people around him looked sick, skin in grey tones, lips dulling to blue. They stared with lost orbs, pupil blowing wide while the other stayed thin. They looked dying but no one seemed to care and he shouldn't either. He was alone in this place, but suddenly were you walking by, hair neatly put and gaze locked forward. Baekhyun hadn't seen you sinces you took his freedom, a growing bitterness making him scowl at you passing figure. It couldn't be good that you were here, and as if the grey world was confirming his beliefs, was a patient suddenly screaming. The silence was broken and filled to the brim with shrieks, soldiers coming alive. Baekhyun was pushed against the ground, face flush against the floor, a boot calde foot on his back, but he could still see. The one who had screamed was a woman, her eyes were crazy as she waved a knife. On her plate was the blue pills the light manipulatior had seen being given to everyone but him. You came from around the corner, overpowering the patient in a second. Your eyes looked empty, erased was your emotions so your job could be done, just like every other time you was in a battle, even if it really wasn't one. Baekhyun could hear guns being loaded, however, no shots echoed through the walls as the woman, now pushed down by you, chanted words which sent chills down his spine.

“They’re poisoning us! The blue life pills are death!” she kept screaming, hollering out pained sounds as her throat clogged up.”They’re gonna kill us! It’s poison! Poison! Poison!”

You tensed at her words, throwing a glance at her plate where the pills were, some broken from her cutting them. Foam formed in the corners of her mouth, blood slipping down from her nose, and Baekhyun’s eyes widened.

“What is happening!?”Dr Zhang came running, his hair pushed back but orbs were scared, filed with something close to rage as he watched the woman trashing under you.”Let her go!”

He kneeled by her side, pushing you until you got off, hands working to help her, but you save the faint glow coming from them, the same hues which had been around the flowers of the sleeping girl. A soldier grabbed Baekhyun’s shoulders, forcing up with a roar to follow or he would be hit. Most of the other patients were gone by now but as Baekhyun stumbled through the doors with a last glance over his shoulder, could he see Yixing shaking his head beside the still woman and you, staring right back at him.

“Dr Zhang has shown great potential in his healing in the past but the numbers on his new facility indicates a certain death..”your fingers held the pen with eas, playing back what you had seen the during the day, when the sun still shone on the dead grass. When the morning had rolled around had you looked into where the food to the patients came from, how it was practically only water, but you ate well, most of the staff did too, just like in the capital.”Today I witnessed a woman patient go crazy and die by her own body, but the doctor’s hands glowed with light similar to the known unnaturals with healing abilities when he tried to help her.”

“He also whispered I’m sorry when her last ragged breath left her..”Byun Baekhyun came into your thoughts, eyes glossing over as they disappear inside your mind. Dr Zhang had a folder on him but even after 2 months of being here had he not done the most essential tests for unnaturals. There was only basic stuff in his file, like his blood type, but nothing about his ability or his reactions to the new drugs the government had made for unnaturals’ powers to be weakened.”I will keep looking into his motivations and work. Lieutenant Shin Y/n, Juniela 06 year 4508, time 20:30.”

The room you used inside the hospital wasn't big but it had a window where you could sit and watch the outside, be alone, be no one. Your report was laying on the small wooden desk, your bed still made and untouched since the morning. And then it was that man with a face you didn't know, eyes with a fire different from other soldiers. He had looked passionate and not crazy, like he had a reason beyond money.You had written about him as well, two letters laying to the side of the newest, all waiting to be sent to the capital, red stamp shining. It was just that there was also a book, its edges worn, and inside it was everything you had seen, what you made out of it. Inside it was pages written about the blue poison, your suspicion against the republic your were working for. You believed they were killing them, that the woman told the truth, just so the could clear the outer sectors and destroy the problems they were. There was more about Yixing between the lines, the questions around him and why he asked for Byun to be sent here when he should have been brought to facility 008. Sighing, you left the desk and layed down on the mattress, orbs following lines on the roof. You could feel something coming and you were sure it had to do with the doctor.

Baekhyun’s head snapped towards the door, sleepy eyes turning awake in a second. He was sure that it was still evening, meaning no one should come into his cell. Yixing smiled lightly, his body clade in a white lab coat, and no guard was with him.

“I’m sorry to come by so late but I had to check on all the other patients…”Baekhyun’s gaze landed on the closed door, back pushed against the wall by his bed.”I was wondering if you were fine? If something happened in the canteen?”

Nothing really happend when the woman started screaming, the only pain he felt was a soreness on his jaw which had been pressed against the floor, but he still sported a black eye and growing bruises all over his body. The soldier who brought him back to his box had been stressed and decided to take it out on the unnatural, hitting Baekhyun every time he moved a muscle. The last blow had been to his eye, the swoleness having gone down but leaving after a light blue color.

“I’m fine..”the doctor tilted his head, studying the shadows playing in the green light, reminding him of what was to come, everything which he was the opposite of. Nerves trickled over Yixing as he took steps deeper into the room, fingers holding a green pin, the leaves forming an almost x like shape.

“Well..I can take a look into your wounds tomorrow.”Baekhyun frowned at the way the doctor didn't listen but stilled when he noticed the weird way Yixing held his arms.

He instantly stood up, palm open with light which he would increase so much it could burn flesh if dr Zhang came closer. Surprise clouded Yixing’s face, movements stopping.

“Stay back!”a growl left Baekhyun, chest heaving as he started to feel the panic settling in.

“I don't mean to harm you!”the doctor raised his hands, showing that they were empty beyond the pin.”..I-I just need to give you this..”

Baekhyun settled down but he still felt the pulsating energy from his light wanting to escape. Sweat dropped from both of their foreheads, some of Yixing’s hairs standing out. Once again was the room bathing in green, green like a world which used to be before war took its color away.

“You need to have this..but you can't put it on yet..”Yixing let the pin drop into Baekhyun’s hand, orbs flying around as he felt stressed. Time was ticking, anyone could come in a find him, destroy everything.”..I don't know if I can be with you when it happens but as long as you wear it, you will survive..”

Baekhyun stared at the small item, following the lines in the leaves, recognising the rebels symbol. His breathing became heavier, eyes widening ever so slightly.

“What’s going on?! Why are you giving me this!?”the pin clicked on the floor as it fell, Baekhyun grabbing Yixing's collar with white knuckles.”Why do I need that!?”

“You’ll know when it happens..”the doctor bit his lower lip with nerves. He felt clammy but at the same time was this the only thing he could do. Everyone else was already doomed.”..I just want to help you so please wear it..”

The door closed again, Baekhyun’s fingers holding on to the green metal while he swallowed hard. He felt himself being dragged into something which would destroy any little chance he had with freedom. His back slipped down the cold wall, head falling forward as he tried calming down, but he was alone.

“Dr Zhang what are you doing inside room 04 this late?”the smile painting itself over Yixing’s face was normal but behind his eyes were panic as they watched you staring at him. He had just left Baekhyun’s cell and you caught him.

“Oh, I was just checking up on him!..”he wetted his lips, swallowing before he straightened up.”I was too busy after what happened in the canteen to help him.”

You nodded, about to get inside box 04 but Yixing stopped you, orbs flipping around. His collar on the white lab coat was messed up and his hair wasn't gelled back completely, he looked different from how he always was. No longer put together with an eas in his steps.

“He was awfully sleepy..I think we should let him sleep and tend to him on the morning.”a small nodded left your head, already sure of where the doctor stood and it wasn't on your side.

Tags: @shesdreaminginoverdose

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elencelebrindal · 4 years

Text

Honest Opinion - Wyvern Rhadamanthys

This is a pre-written entry. Due to personal reasons, there is a chance I will not be able to post anything else but the Three Judges. A slight chance, mind you, and maybe only for a week or so, but I wanted to tell you. And now, onto this shady wyvern with too many limbs to be a wyvern.

Also, name change alert! His name in the Italian dub is Radamante, which is basically the same name, but in Italian.

Uhm... there might be some slip ups of me commenting as I went. I normally do that when I write stuff down (and then delete everything), but I am not in the mood to keep an eye out for everything. I’m sorry about that, and hopefully it will just be funnier for you to read. If you see something in these [ ], that’s my commentary. Don’t take it too seriously.

Overall score (character, not looks): 10/10

You guessed it, I love my goth English gentleman here. I don’t know why, maybe because of all the fanworks around him, but the lone fact of him being a noble English gentleman just... I love it, but at the same time it makes me laugh because this man can crush you to tiny little pieces with his pinky finger. Anyway, back to the point.

I know he appeared in both the Sanctuary Chapter and the Inferno Chapter, but I will not be splitting this honest opinion like the Bronze Saints. Mostly because he’s the only Specter that really appears in more than one chapter, and I want to keep all the entries similar between them. So, let’s talk about his first appearance.

I loved the way he was introduced. Subordinate? Yes. Still demanding people to obey him? Absolutely yes. To me, despite feeling a little frustrated at him for disregarding Pandora’s orders, this described the character as it is. Later on in the show, we discover that Rhadamanthys is not a calm person. He’s not patient, and he gets violent very quickly (and on a Saint Seiya scale, that’s pretty high). His introduction, with him listening to Pandora but still doing as he pleases, summed him up pretty good.

And then, we see how powerful he is. There’s a lot of cases of characters who seem intimidating, but then are weak and useless. Rhadamanthys is not one of them. The “fight”, if we can even call it that, against Aphrodite and Deathmask started off this character completely. Yes, you can argue that those two were weaker than before they died, but I don’t think Pandora would send out the resurrected Saints to kill Athena if they were weak. Rhadamanthys not only brushed them off like nothing, but he destroyed them with the same exact technique Deathmask tried to use on him. A technique that didn’t work on him. Again, you can argue that maybe it didn’t work because Rhadamanthys is a Specter and not a normal human being (normal for a Saint standard, not normal normal), but if that was the case why would Deathmask use it on him? So, and I might go a little too much towards him, he has to be damn right powerful. He is one of the Three Judges of the Underworld, after all.

Now, with this part... yeah, he was definitely using the barrier around Hades’ castle in hi favor. Because he would never have won against three Gold Saints in their full power and vigor. Judge or not, no way he would have been able to overpower three Gold Saints. Especially not Milo, Aiolia and Mur together, since they all have different attack and defense techniques. But he played it smart, relied on the barrier, and guess what. He won. Half an episode later, and BOOM. Three Gold Saints sent straight into the Underworld. Dritti all’Inferno. One way ticket.

The absolute bullshit of him almost losing against our dear Bronze Saints, though? Yeah, no. They should have all died as soon as he used his Greatest Caution (I am very tired as of writing this, I don’t remember if that’s the actual English name or the original one), but apparently not even a technique like that can kill those four bastards. I rest my case, they should have died, end of the war because Rhadamanthys would have killed Shun as well. Well, maybe he could have survived Because of Hades. But still. All dead.

And this is why I am not taking away points from him. Normally, if a very powerful Saint, or Specter, or whatever loses (or, in this case, almost loses) against a weaker character, i take away some points. But what happened with Rhadamanthys and Pegasus (alongside the energy of his companions? This is too much bullshit already) was so obviously plot driven that I just cannot blame him for that. This was one of those instances in which you want to yell at the character that’s losing, but you just can’t. Like, physically just can’t.

But let’s continue.

First of all, his interaction with Lune was good. He didn’t belittle him or anything, on the opposite he got quite concerned upon seeing him like that, in so much distress. And then, of course, his interaction with Kanon. I loved how quickly he understood the real problem behind Lune freaking out, and honestly I don’t blame him for falling for Kanon’s technique [Fantasma dell’Oscurità, I forgot the English name dammit]. And the way he straight up said “oh, let’d fight later, my boss is more important than you” and teleported away. I just... I know that scene was to be taken seriously, but man it was funny. It was basically Rhadamanthys saying “you’re not worth my time, hit me up later”, and I loved it.

And now, we can get into one of the two scenes I loved the most about him. Can you guess it? [Yeah, they can, non hanno un solo neurone come me]

This part right here showed how clever and cautious (get it, ‘cause of the Greatest Caution? I’ll stop now) he is. This scene was, at least in my opinion, the one that showed us his full potential. It showed us the reason why he is in the position he is. And I know you’re going to say “but insert my name here, it’s obvious that he’s a Judge, look at his mythological counterpart” and you’re right. BUT there is a reason why he is still in the position he is. Rhadamanthys didn’t blindly trust Orphée [non azzeccherò mai gli accenti su sto nome], but kept his eyes open (quite literally) and didn’t fall for his strategy. Pandora, Minos and Aiacos all fell asleep, but Rhadamanthys? No, he acted carefully, and ended up not only getting rid of Seiya [best part of the show], but also killing Orhpée (through Seiya). Now that is what I call good work.

Onward to the next scene on my favorite list (but first let’s talk about what brought him there). First of all, remember when I said that yes he is powerful enough to overthrow [man, i sure hope that’s the right word] both Aphrodite and Deathmask without taking advantage of an outside factor? Well, it makes sense that Kanon got an almost insta-kill on him. Why? Because Kanon is one of the most powerful Saints out there, and Rhadamanthys is not [come si diceva onnipotente in inglese?] almighty. I liked that he got the shit beaten out of him, because I don’t like characters who always win. Also, Rhadamanthys getting so angry about the other two Judges cutting in? Brilliant. This character stayed true to his personality from start to finish.

But let me tell you. The scene that I loved the most about him. The last fight against Kanon.

His fear was so genuine. Sure, at first he belittled Kanon, laughed at him when he gave up the Cloth and still wanted to fight, but then? As soon as he realized Kanon was not fooling around, and was ready to die just to defeat him, that fear kicked in. Rhadamanthys, despite his rank, despite him technically not being that much alive to begin with, reacted like a proper human being. With pure, unadulterated fear. He was scared to the point of trying to talk it out with Kanon, dammit. That’s what I liked the most, that’s what truly made him tridimensional and real. That’s what made him one of my absolute favorite Specters of all time.

Well, that... and the fact he basically drinks on the job.

#saint seiya #i cavalieri dello zodiaco #los caballeros del zodiaco #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #knights of the zodiac #wyvern rhadamanthys #my opinion #honest opinion

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treacherous-dwarf-of-the-seas · 4 years

Text

I had a lot of Thoughts about the Steven Universe Future finale

It’s exactly a month after its premiere, but I still have a lot of feelings and I wanna organize my thoughts a bit so I can have them somewhere, perhaps for any future ideas I may have. I think I’m just gonna list my thoughts on the 4 individual episodes, the finale (and season) as a whole, etc. Overall, I liked most of it, but I’m gonna get a bit su critical because although I absolutely loved many things about this finale, Oh boy. Some things I downright Did Not. Spoilers ahead I guess, this is a long one.

This is my favorite part of the finale by far. To me, it did almost everything right.

I loved picking up right after Fractured, and Steven’s expression and body language, *chef’s kiss*

Poor Jasper gets killed *twice*

Homeworld looks so good! It’s all gardeny and disorganized in a good way.

Purple pearl?

SPINEL’S BACK!!!

Edgy theories that spinel and the diamonds were a disaster waiting to happen (I agreed with these) were wrong and this makes me happy.

Steven’s reaction to Spinel kissing him? Was a tad strange//

SO GOOD to see Spinel being mentally healthy and happy and while still being herself.

The Diamonds! Actually working to better themselves!

I love the idea of diamond powers “working in reverse”. Like, Yellow diamond can change bodies and destabilize bodies, Blue can change emotions for better or worse, White can take over others or let others in. Honestly the idea that Pink/Rose could bring random plants to life and basically heal anything always struck me as so overpowered and random. The context that she was a goddess of destruction that changed into a goddess of creation makes the concept make a bit more sense to me, I appreciate that.

I’m so ambivalent about Yellow’s scene.

Like, its so satisfying to see. The thing that everybody (including me) was complaining about was that the diamonds’ redemption did not change the millennia of shattered, corrupted and amalgamated gems and suffering they had directly caused. Its very nice to see them putting their money with their mouths are. There’s acknowledgement that redemption isn’t just saying sorry and being less of a dick than you were before, it’s also correcting past wrongs and making it up to the people who were hurt.

However, I’m not totally sold on the idea of healing every shattered gem and the cluster. Like, I guess it makes sense considering a shatter is just a crack that’s been finished, and cracks in gems can be healed. But I don’t think it should be as easy as it is, and in any case, it just feels like it cheapens the impact of shattering, and even the forced fusions when they were so impactful in the original show. I wish the healing could still be done, but in a way that respects how awful and impactful the harm was.

I totally understand Steven in the Blue Diamond scene. I had had mental health problems where my mom had just offered drugs instead of talking to me or trying to help in a way that showed she cared about the issue, so this scene hit a bit hard.

Blue gets a song!

White, by far, my favorite scene in all of Future.

Spinel White, no joke, gave me nightmares.

The little moment of Steven yelling at himself for being a diamond is exactly what I wanted and I needed so much more of it.

Triggered by everything White Diamond does. *chef’s kiss*. I especially love the little subtle moment of looking uncomfortable and pushing away white’s fingernails.

Finally seeing similarities between Steven and White is canon, though I wish it was more explored.

THE HALLUCINATION

Zach Callison is Intense(TM). This man always goes so hard and deserves mad respect.

TOO BAD.

Intrusive thoughts being represented in this way is amazing.

I still wonder if White knows what happened. Can she read thoughts in that state?

He used White Diamond’s power to go into her body, and then while in her body, used her power of possession to take over his own body to puppet himself? I actually love the twistedness of this concept. It shows how twisted Steven himself has become. It’s so much about self-harm, while also not being self harm? vengeful thoughts, intrusive thoughts, anger, just everything. This moment could take all day to analyze, and I think it is way more thematically relevant to Steven’s internal struggle than the corruption.

Love that the diamonds were still willing to help and only seemed concerned after how Steven was acting. They have changed!

Fairy tale imagery, noice.

This one is odd in the best way.

My favorite scenes in anything with supernatural beings is when they look at their own eyes in the mirror and realize that it’s not human or changed from what they should be. The way this scene played out was in a way I’ve only seen in fanfiction, and I am Here for it. The horror on Steven’s face when he’s looking at his own appearance is just wonderfully done.

Very uncomfortable that there is an actual painting of Steven as an angel in his own room. I love how it ties into this episode, but I genuinely feel uncomfortable that he was thought of in that way at all.

The flat out denial that he had just done the things he had done simply by virtue of who he is, I love the idea that “Steven Universe” has become more of a concept/symbol to him rather than being his own name. It reminds me of his concept of his mother and how her name is more of a symbol to Steven than a person. I just love the subtle parallel.

I love the fact that “toxic positivity” is being explored in this show. I never really see it being discussed, and in a show so centered on being honest about emotions, no matter how painful they are, its so wonderful that the protagonist’s main character flaw is the exact opposite, to the point of being forcefully happy and smiling and actively ignoring things going wrong. It really strengthens the message by showing the opposite extreme.

I love the recontextualization that is present in suf. The criticisms of Steven being “too happy” during the cluster arc, being strangely positive after Lars’ death, etc. Although it was uncomfortable when those episodes came out and those events were all but ignored, I’m happy that it is being addressed as this culmination of madness in Steven, being so forcefully happy that its obvious that those episodes weren’t trying to ignore the problems, Steven was.

I’m also happy to see a genuine “hero complex” in a protagonist. (usually the term is used incorrectly to mean “anyone who is a hero who works too hard.”

Steven talking to himself in typical protagonist fashion.

The crystal gems staging an intervention, good shit.

“Steven’s here to help. Steven help. Help Steven.” Not subtle, but I’m always a slut for the glitchy messages.

The confession of his crimes, love that we get to see the gems react to that.

The whole monologue. Once again, Zach goes hard. I love the manic energy and still the ending is so raw and broken.

“Oh, don't worry! I fixed that too! I can fix anything. I can just keep messing up and fixing things forever, and you'll never have to know or think about any of it! How messed up is that? That I've gotten away with this for so long. You have no idea how bad I am.”

It honestly feels like some projection? (Idk something to do with that). It feels like hes a little put out by the things he learned in Homeworld Bound. Like, maybe he feels the same way I do? That the diamonds got off too easy? Maybe it’s simply that hes put out that they’re getting better and he seems to be getting worse. Maybe even, into the worst parts of his mom? I mean from his perspective, his mother had reverse character development and went, in his mind, from a goddess to a petty teenager, to an actual monster. How upsetting would it be to see the galactic dictators who got to live, do so many awful things, worse things than her, and just get to make everything better, to the point of total reversal of their crimes, while pink just ran away and left steven to deal with the mess.While he had to deal with the aftermath of EVERYTHING. Everyone seems to just be okay with the diamonds now, the monsters he feared for so long, so how come he has to be the bad one? How come he has to be like them now? Maybe it’s even coming back to his whole theory that he’s just a reincarnated version of his mom. (I know that he knows it isn’t true, but old fears and old habits can come back during a manic episode, and he spent a long time thinking that he was just there to clean up his mom’s mess and thinking that he was her in disguise.) If you look at what he’s saying, it’s a little strange that he’s talking about how bad he is and how he messes up and then fixes the stuff and no one has to know. It doesn’t even sound like he’s talking about himself, not really.

This sounds like a hysterical realization of what being a diamond means for steven. This is better explained in this post here :https://pennylogue.tumblr.com/post/613441610438590464/steven-is-a-diamond-and-thats-okay . Like, he is panicking that being a diamond means that he can just destroy everything and just fix it like the other diamonds. It’s terrifying that he can just destroy anything and hurt anybody, and people will still worship the ground he walks on just by virtue of who he is. (This isn’t true, obviously, but after what had just happened with jasper, a terrified mind would latch on to that.)

Dude, I could just go on all day this monologue is just fascinating.

Love the parallel of Connie’s “backpack butterflies” and Steve’s back exploding. Its like a subtle way to show that the thoughts are “suddenly swarming.”

Oh god. I’ve gotta be honest. I hated this one. But I’ll start off with things I liked.

The general concept is okay, but I feel like it is not thematically consistent, which I will get into later.

The moment when the gems tell Greg to leave, and he stamps his foot down saying he needs to be with his son, I like that it is very apparent that his stomp makes almost no sound or impact, which really shows how different Steven is from him, aka, his separation from his own humanity that has been building up.

Connie being amazing as always.

“Yoo hoo! Steven! Is this a bad time?”

Spinel’s entire thing, from her reaction to seeing pink godzilla to her thinking that she is the main villain of steven’s story. It reminds me of Peridot’s “leader of the crystal gems, traitor to homeworld” thing and it makes me so happy.

“WHy is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?”

The ending. Jesus. Zach always goes so hard I don’t doubt he was actually sobbing. I wish I could have cried during this moment.

I respect the message, that it’s not about fixing it, it’s about being there for the person struggling, and Steven wasn’t cured, he finally hit a breaking point. I understand that the problem was not “solved with a hug” as so many say.

I love that before I saw the episode I saw pics of Garnet being as big as the kaiju and actually said to myself, “Wow the heights really ARE inconsistent.”

I don’t like that Connie included herself as one of the people that depend on Steven. They are the healthiest relationship in the entire show and Connie is always there for Steven? sometimes even more than he can be there for her? Where is this coming from? She has literally always been there. Her calling everyone out did clear my skin and water my crops though.

Also, where is Connie’s emotional resolution? Didn’ she go through alot of the same trauma as Steven?

I don’t think it’s unreasonable that a diamond, Steven, could corrupt themselves. It’s not necessarily a bad ending to have Steven be corrupted into a giant monster. However, I don’t think it’s the ending that was really built up to. The only real build up was the presence of “Wyrm boi” in the theme song, and that’s about it. It’s not as prevalent as eye symbolism and foreshadowing of someone (Steven or Connie) losing a hand or an eye.

The episode itself was 11 minutes long, and the monster was very underwhelming and way too quick. I feel like the emotions were too rushed, and although everyone else seemed to put in their emotional 2 cents, I feel as though Steven did not get the emotional climax that he really needed.

Also why didn’t we have a sweet little moment of connection with Nephrite Jade/Centipeetle? Wouldn’t that have been such a bittersweet parallel? The whole “being there for Steven like he was there for us?” So where is she?

There was so much imagery and thematic elements in both Steven Universe and Steven Universe Future, that did not build up to the kaiju monster in the way that it was.

The imagery with one eye, the eye patches, cat steven, the heterochromatic eyes with Onion’s doll, Cookie cat, split Steven, etc etc, most people have many many more examples. I feel like someone could have lost an eye, or maybe Steven could have had a corruption scar that left his eyes permanently heterochromatic. It also would have been thematically relevant to have Steven come out of this with more of a balance of his gem half and human half. This never really becomes relevant in “I Am My Monster.” His gem half turns him into a monster, his gem half helps him turn back. It’s nice that his gem and human family were there as support, but there was never a sense of balancing both sides of himself in the fact that they are there, as there are only two humans and mostly gems there, and this lack of balance and security with both parts of himself was one of the major themes throughout the series and one of the sources of Steven’s identity crisis.

Connie is always a parallel to Pearls. Our Pearl and Pink Pearl. I wish something had come of that. (There are amazing comics that show her losing an eye like Pink Pearl, as it seemed to be foreshadowed in Open Book and Sworn to the Sword.)

This idea isn’t mine, but I’ve seen it done really well and I feel like it would have been a better ending than 10 minute godzilla monster. I wish I could have seen Steven split up again. I am personally fascinated with the otherworldly enigma that are Steven’s two halves, but I feel that that would have tied into the themes better and tied up more loose ends. By the end of the series, we don’t know Steven’s opinion on his mother, and last time we heard him mention her it was in a negative light. This is connected to Steven’s conflict within himself, his desire to understand his human side better, his fear of his power as a diamond, his insecurity and loneliness as a totally unique being. Homeworld Bound was the closest we got to seeing Steven talk to himself, and confront the two sides of himself. This was also the closest we’ve seen Steven come to being honest with the diamonds about how he really sees them. However, this ended with Steven hurting himself, (wanting to hurt White was a response to trauma as well as symbolically confronting his own diamond self), and running away. We never get to see the resolution to that conversation. We never see Steven accept that he is a diamond and that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Furthermore, Rose Quartz/Pink Diamond is not resolved. The negative character development took a huge toll on her character. Not only does the audience think of her as a terrible person, but the characters also forget her positive character development after hearing about all the mistakes of the past. Rose/Pink’s redemption arc still happened. I think it would have been fitting to remind us here, like all the other diamonds get their moment in this special. I feel like having Steven split up would tie up these loose ends. It would be a dramatic ending while also being a way for Steven to confront these issues within himself in a grounded way, while also making genuine peace with Pink Diamond. We could have Steven talking to himself, maybe starting out the way he did with White in Homeworld Bound, then steadily coming to terms with the sides of himself that he is afraid of, maybe how both sides help each other, how Pink Diamond is not a symbol of all that is wrong in his life, but just a person with flaws who was able to be better, like he can be better, too. This was touched on a little in Change Your Mind, but I would love to see Steven’s thoughts on Pink after the events of Fractured and Homeworld Bound, as there has to be some difference in perspective there. I feel that if Steven split into his components, these themes and ideas could be explored more and we could have a better climatic resolution for Steven’s character arc. Even if Steven came out with no scars, even with both his eyes, the imagery and thematic elements would still be satisfactorily resolved if we got to see the two halves of Steven actually talk to each other. This also explains it better. https://scatterpatter.tumblr.com/post/615024679798915072/hmmmm-okay-so-i-just-watched-one-of-those-rose

Btw, if anybody has fanfiction recs with this concept, please hmu.

I think I hate the kaiju ending because it seemed like such a waste of potential and didn’t really resolve any conflict besides functioning as a sort of breakdown.

The Future. aka: Welcome to another episode of Crying Breakfast Friends!

Boogle

The cookie cat rap. Pearl obviously kills it because she’s awesome and I was dying the entire time.

Steven/Therapy is canon!

I like that Steven puts up a poster of Kerry Moonbeam in his room that he’s giving to his dad. It’s like he’s made peace with the whole “mr. universe thing” and it makes me happy to see that he’s not holding it against his dad or even avoiding the subject.

I appreciate alot of little moments with the family while it still lasts.

It is genuinely like watching Crying Breakfast Friends.

Steven gets to be “petty” with his emotions! He is finally honest with his family. I do appreciate the subtle resolution to his character arc (despite my opinions of the climax).

My favorite thing about Steven and Connie is that the fact that they are “canon” has basically always been true. Like, they’ve always loved eachother as best friends and they still do, it’s just that they get to kiss now. I absolutely love that its not a huge dramatic thing, its just Steven and Connie and they are otp for life.

The fanfic potential is strong with this one.

I wish I could have seen a therapy session or at least meeting the therapist. Maybe Steven walking into the office with his family behind him and its a moment of doing the first steps toward getting better.

But as is, this one is fine.

Love the idea of a road trip with our little weirdo interacting with normies.

Time to hit up Gravity Falls, lmao.

TLDR:, the finale was good, but I did not particularly care for the climax. I am genuinely sad to see this show go. I was not a fan until I was already 18, but even after 5 years this show has taught me so much about self love, acceptance, tolerance, emotional honesty, etc. (I’ll probably do another post about it because holy shit this is long.) But this season, or epilogue series, has gotten me through such a difficult time in my life that is still happening, and has given me the tools to get through it. I sympathize with Steven so much, and I know alot of other people did too. It was so nice to be part of a community that just adopted this feral child. Some of future was rushed and of course it wasn’t perfect, but I greatly respect what it was doing. Bringing up PTSD and mental illness in this way in something like this was not something I was prepared for, even in this show, and I certainly couldn’t have imagined it even 5 years ago. Even with its missteps, this show took so many risks and was so incredibly detailed and it was obvious that it was made with alot of love and the fans in mind. I criticize because I love this show and while I feel it is necessary to acknowledge its flaws, I have so much love for the possibilities that this little world makes me dream of. These four episodes in particular was an emotional roller coaster and I am so sad to see it go, but I enjoyed the ride. Thank you, Crewniverse!

#steven universe #steven universe meta #steven universe finale #su #homeworld bound #everythings fine #corrupted steven #i am my monster #the future #steven universe future #pink diamond #connie maheswaran #long post #su critical i guess? if you squint

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darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts · 4 years

Text

As long as you need me

Warning: Angsty, supportive, small bit of fluff, mental health issues, emotional. **please read responsibly.**

Masterlist

---

As long as you need me

The Princess had not been herself lately. It had been the talk among the staff and the knowledge of her unusual seclusion had reached the ears of the Lord of the castle. He had tried everything he could think off including ordering her to leave her room. His efforts were all met in failure as even when the Princess did leave her room, she was still obviously distracted.

A knock on his door announced the man he had summoned.

“Enter.”

The doors to the tenshu slid back just enough to reveal the figure of a man who was more accustomed to silently moving in the night than broad daylight. Still, when your Lord summoned you, you moved as necessary to fulfil the request.

“You wanted to see me, my Lord?”

“Yes, come in and close the door.” Nobunaga put down his brush near his inkstone and looked at his vassal. “I trust you have heard about the situation.”

“Naturally. I did have a mind to seek out the Princess myself but I have been otherwise occupied with other matters and work.” Mitsuhide nodded noting the clear concern his Lord had when it came to the Princess. It had been an unlikely encounter and an entertaining one but there was no doubt that true feelings had woven their way into the unusual relationship.

“Well, now you’re not.” Nobunaga smirked crossing his arms as he looked down his nose at the man opposite. It had not missed his attention that the resident kitsune of the castle had become interested in the new arrival. He confessed on more than one occasion to finding the entire thing rather amusing. A man who showed little interest in women outside of work focusing on one so simple absentmindedly.

“My Lord?”

“I am removing you from your duties for the time being. Your only task is to find the source of the Princess’s discontent and deal with it. I cannot have her sulking around the castle it's affecting morale.” Nobunaga could phrase this however he liked but it was still clearly just as much in his own desire as it was in the interest in preserving morale of the men.

“As you wish.” Mitsuhide bowed the smile forming on his lips hidden in the shadow of his inclined head.

---

Time felt like an endless stream. At least that is what the Princess might have said if she had been feeling quite so eloquent. The truth was it felt like nothing to her. Day, night it was all the same just a massive blur as the world around kept on moving and she felt frozen in place.

It had been bad before. Her moods shifted and the ride was like the world’s worst roller coaster as her mind soared then plunged through wave after wave of emotions and thoughts that were so strong, they easily overpowered her.

Depression, anxiety, fatigue… the rational mind being overrun with paranoia and memory. Those remnants of the past, the unhelpful words cast out thoughtlessly in moments of jealousy and anger. Every one relived over and over like a lethal cocktail in the mind keeping those invisible bindings in place.

In modern times she had been given medication, it hadn’t worked. More accurately it should have been said it worked too well. They numbed the pain and dulled the connections so well they had become a zombie. Bruises and injuries appeared on their body but they felt none of it. Afraid of what might be possible in that state the medication was changed over and over but to no avail. Each change took weeks to work its way into her system. To replace one poison for another to find a balance that always tipped just the wrong side of healthy. In the end, it was taken away completely and therapy was the only path open. A whole world of modern medicine and it came down to talking to a stranger.

She remembered feeling like a pathetic waste of time. talking to someone who could have been helping someone else. Burdening them with her intangible problems just to be told it was ok. That what she felt was normal and it was fine. Therapy didn’t last long. Diversions came in new forms as she tried to replace the thoughts running rampant with new obsessions. Focusing on new crafts, games and books, anything they could. Clutching at those proverbial straws in a vain effort to keep from slipping back into this pit.

People around her looked worried. Their eyes almost hurt as they shot fleeting glances her way. It was why she retired to her room and chose to stay there. It was bad enough feeling as she did without the added concern of worrying others more. Her appetite was gone. She couldn’t feel her own body as it cried out in the melee for sustenance. The little she ate was enough to survive but that was all.

How were you supposed to explain what was wrong when you couldn’t even fathom it yourself? That feeling of being in a crowded room, surrounded by people and feeling so alone. How you felt like you had been thrown into a bottomless pit. As hard as you tried to fight against the drop you just kept falling.

---

Mitsuhide had spoken to the maid in charge of the Princess. It was clear the girl was at a total loss as to what to do. The princess hardly ate enough for a child never mind a full-grown woman. She had not taken on any extra work and yet the lamp in her room remained lit and she didn’t sleep. Books lay untouched as would her comb and hairbrush if it had not been for the insistence of the maid that she be allowed to do her lady’s hair.

He arrived at her room and knocked. Receiving no answer, he knocked again a little louder before sighing and pushing the door to enter. She was like a statue. Eyes fixed on one point in the room, breathing but still.

Saying nothing he joined her side and sat down. He didn’t miss the dark circles under her eyes or how dull the sparkle in them had become. Her skin was always pale but now seemed ashen and ghostlike. There was no doubt she had been losing sleep and weight. Her once glossy hair also looked greasy and limp. He felt like someone was tormenting him. The beautiful girl that shone so brightly he could hardly bring himself to look at her. The one that had become his favourite distraction to observe and tease since she arrived and this was what she had become now.

His ideals of protecting innocence and shielding it from this ugly and cruel world were being tested. Something was terribly wrong and he was at a loss as to what to do to change that. He waited and the Princess showed little sign that she had even noticed his presence. He could be a very patient man but this was starting to unravel even his mind.

“Y/N what is the matter?” He asked the question that had been on everyone’s lips since seeing her in this state. He felt like a fool for not having anything more original to ask but resigned himself to the most direct inquiry.

"It’s not something that can be explained easily with words Mitsuhide." Her voice was quiet in the room. She appeared so fragile she could almost shatter like thin ice on a pond. A frozen stillness masking untold depth beneath.

"Maybe not but I cannot begin to help you if you don’t --"

"Help? How could you help me?" His words were cut off as she turned those haunted eyes to him. They were both accusing and begging. He had seen that look so often in men returning from war. When something snapped and connections frayed. Their minds warping around events and actions, second-guessing everything that cannot be changed.

He dragged her small body close to him. Tucking her tight into his chest as he buried his face in her hair. She didn’t resist and just remained locked in his arms limply.

“Mitsuhide?”

“Y/N I can’t stand to see you cry. Did you know that?” He couldn’t bring himself to act as he normally did. She always seemed to have the ability to rattle him to the core but when faced with such raw unmasked honesty he just couldn’t continue to act as he usually did.

"I’m not."

"But you are. You are crying out so loudly that it hurts. I’m sorry I spoke without thinking and probably caused you more pain. I came because we – I was worried about you. You aren’t the same blissfully oblivious child you usually are.” He corrected himself before he could cause misunderstanding. Something he hardly ever dreamed to do. He felt her shift in his arms and he loosened his grip to allow her to move freely.

“I’m not a child Mitsuhide and no one can be happy all the time. I’m not trying to make excuses here but this is something that happens to me. It never goes away it just changes in how bad it is. I can’t escape this and no one can help me. There are things I can’t forget and comments that cannot be taken away. It might sound crazy but I feel like I’m stuck in a kind of nightmare. Nothing feels real to me right now. I hurt so much and I feel nothing. I guess I just have to wait it out…” She kept her head down as she spoke. Her quiet confidence that had always been a staple to her character was missing and her voice stilted as she struggled to formulate an explanation that could be understood.

"Then I shall wait with you."

"What?" His declaration had he gazing at him in shock. He chuckled at the sight of her sitting there with her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"I always knew you were trouble little Princess. The fact you keep sending me into battle you is proof of it."

"You are going to fight me?" She looked confused like she had missed part of the conversation somewhere.

"As many damn times as it takes to get it through that thick pretty little head of yours that you are better than those voices yes." He brought a long elegant finger to her forehead and poked it before cupping her cheek and leaning in so he could fill her entire vision at near point-blank range. “Y/N I cannot begin to imagine what horrors dwell in your mind. I’m certain they are different for everyone and Gods know I wouldn’t wish any of mine on anyone else either. I cannot make it go away and I cannot cure you. I wish I could with all my heart Princess but that simply isn’t possible,” Her eyes were searching him taking in every word he uttered. “But. I can wait with you. I can be here with you so when you need to know someone else if here you have that. It isn’t much I know—”

“No!” She cried out and he pulled back his hand quickly worried.

“Y/N?”

“Mitsuhide don’t you get it? It is already far more than I have ever had. I usually get people running scared or bored with me when they see me like this. I get told to just get on with it or snap out of it. They don’t stay.” Part of the pain inside her leaked out into those words. Each one slicing like a blade into him causing him to silently curse every last fool that had ever opened up their mouth or taken action that could imprint such feelings into one so pure.

“Am I that untrustworthy to you?” He reached out again this time placing his hand in hers as he struggled to regain her focus before it slipped back to somewhere unreachable. “Have I ever once told you something that is a lie when it’s been about you?”

“I…” She struggled to answer looking uncomfortable. It was not his intention but if it served as a decent distraction from that swirling mass of negativity then so be it.

“I care about you Y/N. You are the most fascinating, charming and carefree little creature I’ve seen in this rotten world. I thought you to be unmarked by it but the truth is I was the fool for not realising that a girl with such a kind heart was probably the most affected.” He would be whatever she needed if it meant he could give her even a few minutes rest bite.

“I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes and muttered her apology.

“Whatever do you have to be sorry for?” He squeezed her hand and waited for her to continue. He couldn’t understand what she was going through, that kind of thing was a personal battlefield only she could know for sure. But he could understand pain and that was the most heart-wrenching thing in the situation. The invisible foe you had to fight alone and yet felt so powerless against.

“I’m such a screw-up. I made you worry about me and everyone else too.”

“We worry because we care. Don’t concern yourself with any of that. You are not a screw-up Y/N. You are someone who is hurting in ways beyond any kind of control.” His voice was softer than he imagined it could be. He was no stranger to talking to others. Convincing them of what they wanted to hear or what he needed them to hear to be useful to him later on. This was nothing to do with any of that. He had no desire to use this girl he only wished to help and wanted so badly with all his heart for her to believe him when he said what he did.

“How long will you stay?” She dived headfirst into his lap and buried her face in his chest. Her small body still felt cold but it was more alive than it had been.

“As long as you need me.” He said as he kissed her head and stroked her hair. He felt the silent tears that had finally begun to fall from her eyes land on his chest and sighed dragging her closer to him repeating his words. “As long as you need me.”

---

#ok i don't do hashtags normally #attempting to find words for my own struggle with this #depressing i know sorry...#mental health struggles

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loopy777 · 4 years

Note

whats your thoughts on Venom, the green goblin and doctor octopus, the three characters who are generally held up as spidermans archenemies? which one do you think has the best potential as spidermans definite enemy if they were written perfectly, and which series do you think had the best portrayal of each of them respectively?

If I had to crown THE Spider-Man Archnemesis, I would have to give it to Green Goblin. Doc Ock is the oldest, and the first to both defeat Spider-Man and make him consider quitting, but ultimately Norman has taken more from Spidey, gotten more personal in their conflict, and created more of a legacy for the mythos. Sorry, Otto.

That said, I don’t really like designating a single archnemesis for Spidey because Norman hasn’t completely dominated the field. Ock runs the Sinister Six, Spidey’s big Villain Team and one of the best Villain Teams in all of superhero comics. (And let’s face it, the Legion of Doom is bigger only because DC characters got more media exposure for a long time and Superman’s villains are so good that Lex Luthor, Brainiac, and Bizarro lift up the likes of Solomon Grundy and Cheetah when they’re all on a team together.) Venom has the whole Evil Knockoff thing going and a unique and terrifying ‘stalker’ gimmick that puts him in a special class, not to mention how he directly overpowers or counters all Spidey’s abilities.

And, honestly, the whole ‘Goblin’ gimmick is kind of arbitrary and has nothing to do with spiders. Clowns and bats don’t have a direct relation, but at least they’re opposites in terms of color and purpose, so Batman and Joker kind of seem like twisted rivals. Goblins and spiders are only linked in that they’re both kind of Halloweeny, but Spider-Man has little to do with Halloween or spooky stuff, anyway. But I better cut this line of thought off before I start explaining how Spider-Man shouldn’t be Spider-Man at all and him being Frog-Man would make just as much sense and then we wouldn’t have to deal with pictures of icky spiders in all Spider-Man media.

But yeah, Norman Osborne is still indisputably a cut above the others.

Ock is really just a typical mad scientist with a robot-arm gimmick that allows him to directly fight with Spider-man. He’s well-written and constructed, granted, and I love how his arrogance contrasts with Peter’s humility, how they’re such opposites in terms of empathy, and how different their paths become after science-based accidents that granted them unusual powers. Bendis’s “Ultimate Spider-Man” comics nicely honed in on this theme, and I also appreciate how both Stan Lee’s prose story in the unrelated “Ultimate Spider-Man” short story collection (...it’s a title Marvel loves to reuse for some reason) and John Byrne’s attempted origin revision linked the irradiated spider to the explosion that created Ock. All great villains should be dark reflections of their heroes, but while Ock has gotten some great stories that make him a top-tier villain, he still offers little storytelling potential beyond his mad scientist archetype. Now, I know what comics-readers are thinking at this point: Yes, I did read the original “Superior Spider-Man” run and I think there’s some real potential there, but honestly I feel like it was under-served by Dan Slott’s pacing and foibles. And I haven’t seen an adaptation of it yet that I think really fulfills the possibilities. But the idea is great, so maybe Otto will get his chance to level up his rivalry with Spider-Man.

Venom’s problem is that he’s a little too focused on his revenge on Spider-Man. The stories where he stalks Spidey, wandering into Peter’s life to fold laundry with Aunt May, popping up to have a surprise tussle with Spidey just to throw him off-balance, etc- Those are great and make Venom seem super-scary, especially since Spidey can’t beat Venom in a fight without some kind of edge or gimmick. But all Venom wants is revenge on Spidey, so after he’s failed a few times to get it, what do you do with the character? He’s not scary if he keeps failing. The original idea was to have the symbiote pass on from Eddie Brock and take on other hosts, and that might have opened the door for some new kinds of stories. I know this was eventually implemented 20 years later, with the original Scorpion getting to be Venom for a while, and symbiotes becoming a whole Thing with a bunch in various colors, but I didn’t read any of those stories and they don’t seem to have left much impression on the general Spider-Man fandom. Ultimately, it was chosen to ‘redeem’ Eddie Brock and make Venom into an “anti-hero” (for a definition of the term that means “protagonist who kills people but doesn’t have to worry about that whole ‘consistently laid low by their fatal flaw’ thing”) which did sell a bunch of comics in the 90′s and set up some tension-filled team-ups with Spidey. Nice idea, if implemented in a really shaggy way, but -- again -- what do you do after that? Venom/Eddie isn’t really a compelling lead who you can keep telling stories about. (Yes, I saw the Venom movie. It has like two minutes of amusing material and two hours of boring dreck, and none of it is memorable.) And making him evil again runs into the same problem as having left him evil in the first place. Venom was a good idea whose time came and went, and perhaps someone will find a way to make him fresh again. But until then, I think he gets by more on his visuals than anything.

The Green Goblin, in contrast, has a lot going for him in terms of storytelling potential. He’s a mad scientist, a wanna-be crime boss, a dark shadow of his civilian identity looking for revenge and/or illicit thrills, and personally has that ongoing personal hatred/rivalry for Spider-Man. That offers a whole bunch of storytelling paths, all of which have been taken and proven fruitful over the years. And that’s without getting into how Norman Osborne is the father of Peter’s best friend Harry, a flawed father figure to Peter in his own right, a ruthless millionaire industrialist before Lex Luthor gave it a try, and another dark reflection of the paths Peter could have taken in both aspects of his life. Even when Norman is dead, his legacy continued to be felt for 20-odd years with how Harry fell from grace. You can even link Norman to his spin-off the Hobgoblin; just Norman’s equipment getting passed on created another enduring villain. And, again, that’s without even looking at Norman’s murder of the one-time romantic lead Gwen Stacy being the event that ended the Silver Age of comics. Norman Osborne is just plain a truly great, versatile villainous character who has managed, despite being almost 60 years old, to still maintain an “Oh, no!” impact among Spidey fans when he shows up. Sure, there have been bad stories about him, and some over-exposure at times, but that hasn’t diminished his impact or ongoing potential.

As for portrayals, I’m overall a fan of the 90′s animated series and their takes. That show really petered out after a few seasons, but it introduced Ock with a bang and got a lot of mileage out of him. Venom got to do the whole scary stalker thing, and then the show put him on a shelf until his ‘redeeming’ death to avoid over-exposure, so that worked out fairly well. And while it’s odd how Kingpin and Hobgoblin took over most of the Green Goblin’s role in Spider-Man’s stories, what we did get of Norman was good, and the performance that went into the Green Goblin really sold the weird psychology of the character. Those three villains definitely got a chance to shine in this series, even if Green Goblin was under-used.

I also think the Sam Raimi movies overall did a good job. Green Goblin was perfect- aside from the costume. Willem Dafoe utterly nailed every aspect of the character, right down to the body language, and the movie did a good job condensing his rivalry with Spider-Man into a single movie. As for Doctor Octopus, I’m of two minds about how he got a sympathetic backstory and characterization. On the one hand, it made him a more compelling character and Alfred Molina danced nicely between the human side and the villainous side. On the other hand, though, Ock has classically never really been sympathetic; he’s an utter monster in behavior, and the insertions of bullying in his backstory have never changed that. Venom is the only one I think didn’t really get a chance in these movies; I like this version of Eddie Brock (really!), but he barely got an opportunity to be Venom and you can tell no aspect of the character really inspired the storytellers.

Spectacular Spider-Man, naturally, did a good job. I think this version of Green Goblin is the best of them all; I even got my DVD set signed by Steve Blum! Ock was also done well, getting to be the Master Planner as well as leader of the Sinister Six, although I don’t think I quite buy the timidity they gave the character before the accident. Similarly, I didn’t buy Eddie’s fall from grace as Peter’s best friend; one episode he’s upset because Peter’s blowing him off for hanging out, and the next episode he’s nearly killing Mary Jane just to mess with Peter. You might as well just start with Eddie being a monster, like the Raimi movie did.

I also think Bendis’s Ultimate comics did well by all three characters. I’m not really a fan of Goblin-Hulk, but Norman’s impact was fully in effect (even if we had yet another toothless homage to Gwen Stacey’s death with Mary Jane getting thrown off a bridge and surviving), and they fit him well into the Super-Soldier Arms Race aspect of the setting. Ock got some really great use, including an arc of character development and ‘redemption’ that still managed to allow him to be an arrogant monster to the end. Venom was under-used, but this might be the best ever interpretation of Eddie Brock and obviously inspired the Raimi version, and I love the origin of the symbiote here and how it tied to Peter’s father. My only complaint is that after that first great story, Bendis didn’t seem to quite know what to do with Venom; the video game and its comic adaptation seemed to be setting him up for more, but that didn’t come to anything.

So, those are my thoughts. As a Spider-Man fan, I think I’m spoiled for choice in picking an achnemesis. Despite the little flaws that keep Ock and Venom from topping the Green Goblin, they’re still heavy-hitters as comic book villains and could run the game in the rogues gallery of most other superheroes. But Spidey has one of the best sets of villains in the business, so that’s not surprising.

#thekingofwinterblog

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their-destinys-writer · 5 years

Text

The Nino Zine Collaboration

Now that the zine is out, we’re allowed to publish our piece! Huge shout out to @thelastpilot for making all of this happen, and always being a vocal defender of this fantastic character. You did amazing. Shout out also to all the artist who were part of @theninozine giving it it’s love and life. To see the whole zine, click here.

The Power of Carapace

Being part of Team Miraculous was the last thing Nino ever expected to happen in his life. The idea that he would become one of the core superheroes of Paris was insane. Especially for someone as chill as him.

But he was proud of it. Even if he didn’t consider himself one of the greats.

Sure, he was genuinely picked for the job, unlike Chloé. But his part rarely ever had him on the offensive. Most times he ended up protecting his teammates. Or trapping the akuma. Or… cats, so they wouldn’t jump off the tree while Ladybug went to get them for their owner.

He didn’t mind, of course. He loved his teammates and would do anything for them. But he had to admit, sometimes he wished he could do more. Seeing how sometimes the enemy was charging towards one, or several, of the others and he wasn’t fast enough to protect them was often frustrating.

That thought was especially prevalent the first time he ended up as the last hero standing.

It was a minion-making akuma. Hundreds of citizens had been turned into armored soldiers holding long spears. It wouldn’t have been much of a problem, if the minions hadn’t turned out to be more agile than they looked.

It didn’t take long for Ladybug and Chat Noir to become overwhelmed and send for help. They managed to get Rena Rouge, Queen Bee and him, but they didn’t have time to get more heroes. So, most of them focused on clearing the path for Ladybug to get to the main akuma.

Unfortunately for the young superheroes, it wasn’t long before they had been cornered on top of Le Grand Paris Hotel.

While they had managed to fight off most of the villains, soon enough the team had been overpowered. To Carapace’s luck, he had managed to reduce the numbers around him with Shellter, sending them flying off the building the second he activated his power. And it was that moment that enabled him to see the disaster that had been happening around him.

Carapace watched how every single one of his teammates was restrained. There was no way he would have enough time to save them all. Sure, his shield could bounce, but he would still have to sacrifice at least two of his friends. And that just wouldn’t do.

He could almost swear everything was moving in slow motion, as his mind tried to think up a plan to get them out of this mess. He saw how Ladybug was trapped with her own yo-yo, as the akuma minion continued pulling on the cable. Chat Noir had lost his baton, and had his hands tied by his own belt. Queen Bee was being lifted off the air by the waist, her arms stuck to the sides.

And Rena Rouge. One of the minions had grabbed her flute and was holding it against the neck, suffocating her.

What was he supposed to do? Why did no one tell him what to do if he was ever the last one standing? Think, think, think, he repeated in his mind, causing an almost opposite effect. He proceeded to take a deep breath, hoping that that would give him enough concentration to come up with a plan.

A thought started nagging in his brain. Something that felt important, but it wasn’t his thought. It didn’t feel like it came from him. It was like it came from someone else.

Wayzz? He wondered.

He could feel his heartrate increase. His knuckles clenched. His leg stepped back. He took a calming breath.

“Shutter speed!” Carapace yelled on instinct.

His body was suddenly filled with new energy, and his surroundings slowed down. The next second, Carapace was running. But his surroundings were off.

Everything around him was standing still.

It felt like a second for Carapace, but it was much less time than it seemed to him. Than it took him to realize the power he had just summoned. Nothing was standing still. He was simply moving much faster.

With a new spark of confidence and adrenaline, Carapace ran to the first minion he found, holding onto Rena Rouge. With less effort than he expected, he was able to pry the enemy’s hands open, leaving only his girlfriend to hold the flute.

Next, he moved to Ladybug, unwrapping her from the string of her yo-yo. As he finished, he swung it around the minion’s leg, for good measure. He then ran across the area to grab Chat Noir’s baton. Close to his teammate, he extended the staff and separated it in two batons.

Just as he was placing them in the cat boy’s now freed hands, he could swear they started moving.

Uh-oh. Time’s up! Carapace’s mind ran, looking for a solution for his last teammate. He looked at Chat Noir and could almost swear he heard a ding go off in his brain. Hoping that he would have just enough time, he took one of Chat Noir’s hands and pulled it upwards and back. As if readying it to throw the newly acquired baton. He only hoped Chat Noir would figure it out quickly.

And then, time moved again.

There was a simultaneous clatter, as all the changes Carapace made while in Shutter Speed took effect. As that happened, he slammed the minion attacking Chat Noir on the face with his shield. Somewhere behind him Rena Rouge swung her flute against the one who had previously trapped her. To the side, Ladybug pulled on the yo-yo and send the bad guy flying.

And Queen Bee let out an indignant screech.

Thankfully, it was enough for Chat Noir to react and throw one of his batons at the enemy holding her hostage. The weapon knocked him out cold, and the bee hero was freed.

“What was that?!” Ladybug heaved. The team shrugged their shoulders. Carapace, on the other hand, bashfully raised his hand.

“It was me,” he said. “Apparently I have super speed too.”

“Too?!” Chat Noir gasped. “You got your second powers?!”

“And you couldn’t rescue me?!” Queen Bee complained.

“Sorry, Bee. Ran outta time.”

“Ugh.” She flipped her hair away. “Ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous.”

“Carapace just used a new power, and that’s what you focus on?” Rena Rouge huffed.

“Carapace!” Ladybug exclaimed, running towards him to shake him from his shoulders. “How did you do that?! That was amazing! How did you get your second powers to manifest?!”

“Desperation?” Carapace said in an uneven tone caused by the shaking.

“Probably necessity,” Chat Noir chuckled.

“Or maybe because he’s the only one who actually thinks before acting,” Rena Rouge argued.

“Dudettes and dude,” Carapace called out, stopping Ladybug from turning his brain into pudding. “Wayzz just thought I was ready. But that’s not what’s important right now. What matters is that we can keep going after the akuma now. No need to leave anyone behind.”

“His right,” Ladybug immediately pointed out. “We have to get going, before Carapace’s time runs out—”

“I’m actually not beeping,” he said absentmindedly, looking at his fully-lit miraculous.

The others gaped.

“Ugh, unfair!” Queen Bee crossed her arms.

“We have to go,” Chat Noir chimed in, pointing at incoming minions. “We can discuss Carapace’s awesome developments later. But right now, we have to hurry.”

The others nodded their heads in agreement, and finally started off towards the akuma. Carapace, on his part, with an exaggerated grin on his face.

--------------------

A green light washed over Nino, as he called out his transformation in a hidden alley. Because apparently now he couldn’t detransform otherwise.

“You did amazing,” Wayzz complimented, the second he was out of the bracelet. “I knew you were ready for the new powers.”

“You sure you didn’t just want to show off with your charge?” Trixx shot back.

“No arguing you two,” Ladybug scolded, with her hands outstretched, ready to take back the miraculouses.

Nino and Alya exchanged looks. With newfound hope, they said their goodbyes to their kwamis, promising to be ready for whatever came next. Then, the little gods disappeared into the jewelry and were given to Ladybug.

“Nino,” she called, as he and Alya had turned to leave. “I have to say that, what you did today, was beyond spectacular. You really saved us all. Thank you.”

“No prob’,” Nino said bashfully. “I was just doing what needed to be done.”

“It was more than that.” Just then, Ladybug’s earrings gave another beep. She gave the couple a look of ‘business as usual’, right before swinging away.

As Nino looked at the distance to where the leader of the team disappeared, he was almost knocked off his feet when Alya pounced on his arm and rubbed her face against it.

“I’m so proud of you,” she cooed. “A little jealous, I’ll admit. But mostly proud.”

He chuckled. “Don’t worry. You heard Trixx. You’ll get your new powers soon.”

“I hope so,” Alya sighed wistfully. “We could be Rena and Carapace for as long as we want. Maybe get some dinner, or ice cream. As superheroes.”

“Sure,” Nino laughed, placing a hand over hers. “But how about some ice cream as civilians instead?”

She shrugged. “Fine. But only if it’s Andre’s.”

“Anything for my girlfriend,” Nino said.

With her still holding onto his arm, he led her out of the alley to find the famous ice cream seller. So maybe he didn’t have the most offensive powers. And maybe people would rarely see him doing the biggest saves. But what mattered was that the people he cared for the most were safe.

And that the one person he had a ring saved up for could see what he did and be proud of him.

#the nino zine #theninozine #nino lahiffe #carapace #miraculous ladybug #writing #fanfic

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awkwardbsd · 5 years

Note

dazai pls? :)

No problem! I am always happy to receive asks. This one was a little delayed because I napped during the middle of asking it. This is gonna get a little bit long (the other ones were long, but I never put a line whoops). This one gets into both anime (Dead Apple and otherwise) and manga spoiler territory. You have been warned!

First impression

I’ll be honest, I almost dropped this series a few times because of Dazai. I found the way that they introduced him was very… nonsensical and almost insensitive. It was definitely not what we would qualify as “politically correct” by today’s standards, and his appearance certainly was off-putting as well with the bandages flapping in the wind. He came off as a good-for-nothing scoundrel who was a little distasteful.

Current Impression

Well, he’s certainly changed! He went from being an irresponsible reckless fool to an irresponsible reckless fool with impeccable (and overpowered) intelligence and a purpose!

Favourite moment

Odasaku’s death scene and really any moments with Odasaku (pre and post-death). I know that those scenes were much more of a highlight for Odasaku, but it was also a pivotal moment for Dazai’s character.

Idea for a story

I was just talking about this idea today! It was in response to my BSD Questionnaire (which I’m having a lot of fun reading the answers for)

@dreaming-of-butterflies actually brought it up again (hehe)

I’m about to go on a bit of a tangent. Forgive my awful writing. The last fanfiction I wrote was for Peppa Pig meeting Dazai. I wish I was kidding, but yeah, my last fanfic was Peppa Pig facing off against Dazai.

It was early on a Saturday afternoon with the exhausted sun shining over Yokohama just before the curtain call which would call it a day. The Detective Agency was slow but still running when a man knocked on the door. He opened it apprehensively.

“Is there anything we can help you with, sir?” Atsushi asked.

The man stumbled back slightly. His voice croaked and trembled, “My name is Eliot… Thomas Stearns Eliot.” He glanced over at Atsushi as if there was something right next to him.

“Is something wrong?” Atsushi asked. He looked over to his side. There was no one there.

“It’s just that…” he slowly pointed, “there is a man there.”

“Pardon–”

“He is there. He is a tall stern man in a white coat. He keeps mouthing over and over again, ‘You cannot forgive me.’”

Atsushi staggered and lost his balance. His hands were trembling. Why? What was this man saying? The man from the orphanage, the headmaster, was there? He was dead! He was ecstatic about it. Words couldn’t form from his mouth.

“Atsushi? What’s wrong?” Tanizaki asked.

“I knew he was dead. He’s dead.” Atsushi mumbled under his breath.

The man was frazzled, “My ability… it’s called Until Human Voices Wake Us. It requires me to pass on messages from people who are dead. I must say these things or else something within me will vanish. If I ignore a spirit’s request to make contact, I lose a memory from my past. I want to know how to remove it! That’s why I came here! I want this ability gone! It has ruined too many people. I can’t take it anymore.”

“You!” he pointed to Kyouka who was on the opposite side of the room. “You have two people standing by your side. They look just like you.” He paused, “Your parents… they truly loved you. They are so happy for you. They say they are sorry for not being able to stay by your side. They wanted to protect you… they really wanted to protect you.” The man was now crying a little. “They said that they love you more than anything in the world and that they wish that they could’ve done something different than to spare you the pain of witnessing their deaths. ‘Please forgive us Kyouka. We promise to never leave your side. We will always love you.’”

Dazai walked into the room. The man flinched. The man opened his mouth, “There is a man with reddish brown hair next to you.” Dazai’s eyes opened wide. He had eavesdropped on the conversation, but he didn’t know that Odasaku would be at his side, not at a time like this.

“The man standing next to you… he has five kids, four boys and a girl. He’s smiling. He’s saying, ‘I’m proud of you.’” He was about to say more when Dazai placed his hand on the man’s shoulder nullifying his ability. Dazai looked like he had tears in his eye but not a single one was shed.

Unpopular opinion

I wish Ranpo got more of a spotlight than Dazai for his intelligence and capabilities. Ranpo is the smartest, but they always rely on Dazai to compete and solve all these problems. He’s always the one facing off with Fyodor and giving the exposition on “how we solved this”. I want to see Ranpo doing it because we don’t always get enough of it, and Ranpo is more than an ongoing side plot that plays into the main story. We need our crime-solving sleuth back! Dazai can be smart and he can solve things, but let’s not lose focus on the true #1 detective!

Favourite relationship

I can go on about Dazai and Atsushi, but I think that ones really clear on why their dynamic is so great. This time, I’m going to focus on the Dark Era Trio and Odazai!

I’m going to be copying and pasting a lot of my previous post’s points. [Source] (also, sorry for OP because looking back on it, I completely hijacked their post and I’m really sorry for that)

Dazai still lives in the same body and soul that he did when he was in the Mafia. Despite moving from the Port Mafia to the ADA, he couldn’t pull the complete 180 on himself. He still lives in a shadow of his previous actions, and that’s why he truly doesn’t believe he’s a good person.

Odasaku saw that good in Dazai even during his darkest moments. If he didn’t believe in Dazai, he wouldn’t have told him to be on the side that saves people. Odasaku saw Dazai beyond his depression, suicidal urges, and the suffering he’s been through. He trusted him to carry on the legacy he left behind.

Dazai still can’t completely get over the death of his best friend. Look at the first set of screenshots.

Dazai: “Does it look like I’m visiting a grave to you?”Atsushi: “It does. [Why?]”

That look on his face is shock. He is still shaken. He still hangs and loiters by Odasaku’s grave as if he’s still alive. It’s not like he’s expecting him to get up, but he acts like he’s still existing.

Dazai, to me, is one of those people that would buy a crab and a plate of curry. He would place the curry on the gravestone of Odasaku. He eats some of the crab he brought for himself. He brings some alcohol. He talks to him all night and says all that has happened. He talks about the agency, Atsushi, Kunikida, and he talks about how he misses the trio. He admits he didn’t know what Ango has been up to.

Just look at this Wan! cover

Ango himself isn’t over the death either. Ango is the one who covered for the both of them so that Dazai would be able to leave the Mafia.

“I made use of it only once. Four years ago… so that Dazai-kun could live outside the Mafia. I erased his past sins.”“Why did you get your hands dirty only once?”“For a friend who is no longer here. To repent, at least minimally, for my sins to him.”

[Quote Source]

That’s why they’re my favourites!

Favourite headcanon

As previously mentioned, Dazai sits by Oda’s grave and has a meal.

Another mini-excursion because I feel like it. Again, forgive my awful writing because I really can’t write (probably because I don’t read).

“Yo Odasaku!” Dazai leaned against the grave of Sakunosuke Oda. He placed a plate of curry on the opposite side of the grave. Dazai tore open the shell of a crab and began eating it. Two glasses of alcohol were placed.

“Be on the side that saves people,” Dazai mumbled. “You know, the Detective Agency is a lot better than the Mafia! There are all kinds of fun people, and best of all, I don’t have to deal with that asshat Chuuya! You know, I got to blow up his car before I left. Thank goodness for Ango.” He paused and took a bite and a swig. “Speaking of Ango, I still really miss us. Lupin just isn’t the same without you. I haven’t talked to Ango in ages either… the guy works for the government now too.” He sighed then smiled, “But yeah, the Detective Agency is great! Chuuya isn’t there, Ranpo is the world’s greatest detective, I get to mess with Kunikida, Shachou is so cool, Yosano used to be in the Mafia but managed to escape, and Atsushi… you would love Atsushi! He’s so naive and difficult, he cries so often, but his heart… it reminds me of yours.”

#Dazai Osamu #ask #bsd #ask game #bungou stray dogs #not awkward #odasaku #Oda Sakunosuke #odazai

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audreysjensens-blog · 5 years

Text

central pines [elodie davis x reader] {part one}

heyyy lovelies! i just watched trinkets (please please pretty pleeeease go watch it it’s beyond good) and am in love w elodie’s character. i hope you guys like this one!

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fic playlist:

bon iver - hey, ma

dead girl in the pool. - girl in red

banana clip - miguel

let it happen - tame impala (song parts 6:15 to 6:38)

overlap - catfish and the bottlemen

this baby don’t cry - k.flay

alligator - of monsters and men

It had been two and a half months since you’d arrived at Central Pines.

The food was okay, and the air conditioning was subpar. Since you hadn’t been too keen on going there in the first place, and your dad’s incessant emails weren’t going to end until you left, your newfound safe haven wasn’t exactly going to be something you cared too much about.

It was nestled in the outskirts of Portland, surrounding by hulking pine trees and dense forest, hiking trails close to overpowering the tiny rehabilitation camp.

Rehab, right, you reminded yourself. I’m in rehab.

The people were the only reason why you hadn’t left yet. Well, that, and your “family issues”, which is what the counselors had so fondly filed you under in their massive stack of patients.

Everyone seemed to be remotely friendly, and the people that you’d met had honestly made a decent impression on you. You’d leave if you were willing to jeopardize it, but going home wasn’t an option. Leaving meant getting caught, and getting caught meant that you’d have to go home. Plus, police, which was something you weren’t too happy to think about again.

You got up and out of bed, shaking out your messy Y/H/C curls and slipping your feet into your sandals. After your bed had been made (a small progression of what your counselors thought was a “good stride”), you took sleepy steps over to the closet and got changed for the day, finishing off your look with an embroidered jean jacket and a pair of loose slacks. You’d seen Booksmart a few weeks ago, and despite the fact that you loved the characters for who they were, you really goddamn wanted Amy’s jacket.

You looked to the other side of the room, barren with nothing to reveal any inpatients. Probably because you didn’t have a roommate. When you’d first gotten there, a girl named Safi was moving out, so there was no overlap between the two of you. You’d taken over your side, she’d left hers, and while your side was filled with posters of bands, movies, and corkboards with your friends’ photos, the other side contained peeling wallpaper and a sad-looking twin bed.

You checked your phone and saw that it was almost nine, which meant that you had to check in with Counselor Adams (or Tracey, depending on who you’d ask) before you could get any sort of breakfast. It was fine, because you’d rather die than go without your beloved coffee that came from Adams’s office, but you were kind of hungry. Regardless, you started making your way down the long dormitory hallways, seeing your peripheral friends getting ready for the day ahead and leaving their dorm doors open.

Adams’s office wasn’t the sort of place that made you feel like you were in an actual rehab center, but more like a therapist’s office, which you actually had grown to like. There were little photos of her family everywhere, along with comfy chairs, glowing twinkly lights, and tiny ceramic animals adorning the chair that sat opposite your couch. Well, not your couch, but you didn’t really have anything else in this facility besides your belongings, and damn it if that old, overstuffed linen didn’t feel somewhat like home.

“Ahh, Little Miss Caffeine,” Tracey groaned, flopping down in her Frankenstein’d athletic ball/old couch chair. “My espresso hasn’t hit yet, but we still have a couple minutes. Keurig’s up and running.”

“Thank God,” you sighed in relief, shutting the door behind the two of you and going to tap what you wanted into the machine. “You still have that almond milk creamer?”

“How could I not?” Tracey chuckled, taking another sip from her mug. “I use so much of the Folgers original creamer that I’m on the toilet for days with diarrhea. You suggesting an alternative was quite literally the only thing saving me from a life of bathroom hell.”

You giggled then, letting your hot mug sit for a second before splashing in the Splenda and the creamer. “Oh, so we’re blaming the milk for it now, huh?”

“I refuse to believe it’s the caffeine,” Tracey said strongly, wild hand movements indicating her opinion. “If it is, I might go crazy trying new methods of waking up so early.”

You looked up at the clock, seeing that it was exactly 9 on the dot, and sat down on the couch, ready to start your session.

Tracey leaned forward, pushing a piece of her curly brown hair back behind her ear and adjusting her blazer and her Central Pines t-shirt. “So. Let’s talk. Weekly update?”

“Sure!” you said, swatting your hand over your drink to make sure it wouldn’t destroy your tongue upon the first sip. “So, I’m doing okay. I do a lot of hiking, and I went into town last week on the free day. Which was nice.” “Ugh, free days are the absolute best,” Tracey said, crossing her legs over her chair. “I remember when I used to go on them. I was obsessed with the coffee place at the end of the street that gave you those little donut things. I mean, it’s gone now, but, fuck, they were so amazing! Oh, sorry, keep going.”

You laughed again at her habit of constantly interrupting you, and kept going. “Well, uh, it’s been different here. I mean, I know you guys pretty well, but friends-wise, I don’t really have too many here. I think a lot of people kind of just want to keep themselves going while they’re here. Not like, I want to speak for them or anything. I don’t know what’s going on with the others, and I really hope they’re all doing well, but I don’t really know how to you know, bridge that gap. You know?”

Tracey’s face took on a slightly sad and concerned expression, and she leaned back in her chair, nodding at your statement. “I understand. It’s hard enough trying to make sure you’re okay, while also trying to reach out to others. I’m sure that people will come around. Everyone has their personal demons, and when you’re here, we can’t always fully stop them from amplifying. But there’s always outlets. If anything, come here if you’re feeling lonely. You know that I have an armory of snacks and food and conversation, and I’m sure people not reaching out isn’t anything to do with you. I promise.”

You felt tears sparking up in your eyes then, and you looked up at the positive sticky notes on the ceiling, trying to enunciate them in your head to give the tears time to go away. Tracey gave you a moment before speaking up again, this time in a gentler tone of voice.

“Everything’s going to be fine. In fact, you have a new roommate coming at the end of the day today.”

You snapped your head back down to meet Tracey’s eyes, your fidgeting hands ceasing the incessant folding and unfolding and folding of the cuffs of your jacket. You couldn’t help but feel the rush of hope and excitement a new person brought, but quickly shut down the feeling. It was probably someone who didn’t want to be bothered with you, let alone be as furtive as you were to make friends. Squash the hope, you told yourself, taking a deep breath before speaking.

“Really?” you said, trying to keep your voice level and break-free. “Are you allowed to… Tell me about them?”

“Sure! A little bit, at least,” Tracey said, reaching over and pulling a manila folder from beside her coffee table. She opened the folder, sliding out a packet or so before speaking.

“Okay, so her name’s Elodie. She’s coming here from a few towns over from you, and she’s going to be with us for a little while. Apparently her father and some other family’s helping her to move in. I haven’t met her yet, but John in admissions did, and he seemed to get a somewhat okay feeling from her. You know, people leaving their hometown and friends and all that, it’s not easy,” Tracey said, sliding the packet back into the folder and replacing it on the table. “At least, she has people here who get what it’s like.”

You poked your tongue in on the side of your cheek and took a deep breath, flattening out your pants with your palms. She was right.

“If you need someone to show her around other than John, whose niche TV show reference I’m sure she loves hearing, I’ll do it.”

The words left your mouth before you could take them back, and you felt almost like you were going to slap your palm against your head. What the fuck! I don’t wanna do that? Do I? What if she’s cute? Fuck! Stop! She’s probably not interested. It doesn’t matter. Ugh, this whole internal guilt thing blows-

“Really?” Tracey squealed, clasping her hands together in excitement. “I mean, I was hoping I could find someone that could show her around that wouldn’t say ‘Bazinga!’ every three seconds.”

A grin took over your face, and you stood up, turning to put your shoes back on and leave the carpeted room. It was officially 9:30, and the next person to be counseled was going to come in any second. “What time are they getting here?”

“Noon!” Tracey said, scarfing down her drink before her next patient. “Thank you so much again, kiddo. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem, man!” you said, shooting finger guns at her before internally cringing and kicking yourself for the weird ass motion.

You said goodbye to Tracey and headed to the cafeteria, sitting down in one of the worn wooden chairs with a Clif bar in front of you.

Hello, Elodie, you thought to yourself. At least you’ll have a cool roommate.

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