#THIS MAN WAS LIKE LOL REMEMBER YOUR LANE THO??

[junikicker]

idk if u take requests but if you do could i request a fic w lady bellaston (maybe w the same reader character as your previous lady bellaston fics??) where they’re at a party and lady b is knowingly flirting with others to make reader jealous all the while sending looks at reader like ‘what are you going to do about it:);)’ and reader takes her to an empty room and fucks her lol no worries if you don’t take requests tho!!

Masquerade - Lady Bellaston x fem!reader

Masquerade - Lady Bellaston x fem!reader

warnings: smut

note: I've really grown to love the oc I creadted with the whole Under Her Spell story. Love that even though the story is officially over, you requested the character again. Also love that you all love the series so much.

word count: 2.2k

“I understand you will attend the masquerade ball next week?” Your father asked, just as he was about to head out for the day. “Affirmative, father. I’ll have William fetch my clothes from the tailor this afternoon.” You responded, looking at him from your desk as you dropped the quill in your left hand.

“You’re not again writing that foolish poetry, are you? Son, how often must I tell you that you are no Shakespeare? And quit writing with your left hand.” He ordered, a deep frown on his face.

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I’ll crawl home to her.” You recited the words written down on the piece of parchment before you, looking your father straight in the eye. The man’s frown seemed to only deepen at your words. He turned around and left without saying another word. You sighed. Nothing you ever did could seem to make him proud.

Later that day, William arrived with your clothes for the ball. Your father had insisted on the family colors, however, you decided to only go for the blue and switch the black for silver elements. He was not attending either way, so you thought you could just as well do a bit of your won thing.

You hadn’t seen Lady Bellaston since the night the two of you spent at Champagne Lane, but you regularly exchanged letters. William was so gracious to act as a courier for the two of you, delivering your letters to her and her letters to you, so your father wouldn’t suspect anything. William truly was a man of honor. He’d been around the manor for as long as you could remember. For a long time he had been your only friend.

The letters mostly consisted of her telling you about how much she longed to be with you again, while your letters always included a new poem of yours that you had written for her and only her.

Since you met her, your creativity had increased. You saw her in all the little things. The flowers, the sky, the clouds, and the moon with the stars at night. Sometimes even a word was enough to make you think of her.

As the masquerade ball was approaching, you felt yourself grow nervous. It was the first time that you would be seeing her after Champagne Lane. What if she suddenly decided she wanted to end it all? What if she had told anyone? What if she had told your father?

“Are you quite alright, Y/n?” William asked you as he fixed the buttons on your shirt. Whenever your father was not around, he called you by your real name. Whenever you heard your own name, a smile appeared on your face. Your father always called you Atticus. Everyone called you Atticus. Everyone but William, Charles, and now, Clarissa.

“Yes, it’s nothing.” You sighed, your hands a bit clammy. “Is it about Lady Bellaston?” He asked and you met his eyes. “I haven’t looked at the letters. But I sense there is a strong connection between the two of you.” He explained as he stepped aside for you to look into the mirror.

“We have been sleeping together, if that is what you are asking.” You told him as you smoothed out your clothing. “I was not implying-” William started but you cut him off, chuckling. “It’s fine, William. Really.” You told him. “I suppose, I am just nervous to see her again. We’ve been talking over letters over the past two weeks, but what if she decided that she wants to end whatever we are having? What if she thinks it was wrong?”

“Everything will be alright, Y/n. I’ve seen how she beamed when I came with your letters every day. How she was eager to get your reply. She won’t change her mind. And if she does: Whatever happens, happens. Everything happens for a reason.” William tried to soothe your nerves. “Thank you, William.” You genuinely told him and he gave you a smile. “Now leave. And enjoy yourself. Your father is in Paris until the day after tomorrow, do not worry about the time of your return.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow then. And thank you again.” You told him as you got ready to leave. “My pleasure, Y/n.” He spoke and left you alone.

The carriage in front of your home seemed to have arrived just in time for you to leave. You were still nervous but William seemed to have managed to calm your nerves down severely.

There were already loads of people at the masquerade when you had arrived. You got off the carriage and looked at the mask in your hands. With a sigh, you secured the mask over your eyes and tied it at the back of your head.

You looked around, trying to find any sort of familiar figure but decided it was not worth the effort. Everybody looked so different with the mask on. You still tried to find that one particular blonde among the many people.

“You have got to be kitting me! Atticus Huntington?” A voice grabbed your attention and you turned around. You were met with a small man. His hair was neatly pulled back into a slick bun at the back of his head. “Blifil? Is that you?” You asked. You hadn’t seen the man that you knew when he was still a boy in years. “So it is you! I haven’t seen you in a long time. What have you been up to?” The young man asked. “Spent some time in the countryside. Wrote a book. Everything and nothing, really.” You explained. Then Blifil was saying something about how he wanted to go to the countryside too, but it just didn’t seem to be a fitting environment for him and some other things that you didn’t quite catch because you were distracted by something, or rather someone.

About fifteen meters away was a woman in a yellow dress, a mask hid her face, but you would know that hair anywhere. It had a different color than all blonde hair you had ever seen. It had a texture that you’d know everywhere. And she was talking with some man, a tad older than you. A hand on his arm as she laughed at something he said. You had a hard time drawing your eyes away from her but managed to get back to your conversation with Blifil.

“I don’t think you’d be a fit for the countryside either, lad… Look, it was nice catching up with you, but I need to find someone.” You explained and gave his shoulder a pat. “Yes, no worries, I must be off as well.” He said and you parted ways. When you looked back to where you had just seen Clarissa with the mysterious man, there were now two ladies, one dressed in delicate green and the other in a deep purple gown. You looked around. No sign of Lady Bellaston.

As you were about to give up on searching, you saw the yellow dress again out of the corner of your eye. There she was, talking to… Tom Jones? What could she possibly want from Tom Jones? Surely she was not going to allow him to wed Sophia. There it was again. That laugh. That laugh that you had come to adore so much. The laugh that you thought was only for you.

As if Clarissa seemed to have felt you watching her, her head turned and she looked at you, giving you a smirk. That was when you knew what she wanted. It was all a game. She wanted to make you jealous and you hated that it was working. Your jaw clenched when you watched her laugh at yet another joke Ton Jones seemed to have made. She looked at you again, quirking an eyebrow at you as if to say ‘what are you going to do about it?’. You took a deep breath before abandoning your drink on the next best table and then made your way over to where Clarissa and Tom Jones were seated.

“If it isn’t Tom Jones. Are you not supposed to be talking to Sophia? My Lady Bellaston.” You acknowledged her presence as you put on a fake smile for Tom Jones. “I was just about to leave.” He gritted out between his teeth before getting up and leaving.

“Follow me.” You said to Clarissa, grabbing her hand, leading her to the next best room inside that you could be alone in.

“What was that about?!” You asked her through gritted teeth. “Why in God’s name were you trying to seduce Tom Jones?! He’s not in love with you!” You were backing her up against the closed door, leaving no place to escape for her. She had a smug smile on her face as her hands reached behind her head to get rid of her mask before she reached around your head to get rid of yours as well.

She caught you off guard with that. It was not what you had been expecting at all. Confused, you looked at her, meeting her emerald green eyes. “Because I want you.” She breathed out. “And this was the fastest way.” She explained, a hand cupping your face, thumb tracing your bottom lip.

“You’re mine.” You breathed once you had comprehended her words. “You belong to me. And if you ever look at him like that again, you are going to be very sorry, Clarissa.” You told her and her pupils dilated at your words. “Understood?” You asked her, looking deep into her eyes. You took the small whimper that fell from her lips as a yes. “Turn around.” You ordered and she immediately obliged.

You practically tore the dress from her body, not caring if it took damage as you removed it from her body. You just needed so much access to do what you had in mind. “Now I’m gonna show you who you belong to.” You growled into her ear. You looked around to find the next best place to take your activities to and saw a desk in the middle of the room. You got a hold of her hips and led her to the wooden piece of furniture.

One swift movement was all it took for you to lift her up to sit on the desk as you stood between her legs and removed her underwear. As you did, you got the perfect look at her breasts, corset so tight they were threatening to spill out of it. And the little heart-shaped mark was present once again.

You dragged your index finger up her slit and a low moan left the woman’s mouth. “Oh, darling. I’ve barely touched you and you are already drenched.” You chuckled at the wetness you found between her legs.

Without a warning, you thrust two fingers into her dripping core, Clarissa’s head falling back at the rough pace you set from the beginning. Your fingers play with her sensitive bundle of nerves, while one of her hands reach for your hair, gently tugging on it, while streams of moans leave her throat. Your lips latch onto her cleavage, leaving mark after mark on her porcelain skin.

Her gasps get higher in pitch and once you feel her flutter around your fingers, you pull away fully, gaining a groan and whimper in response. Just as Clarissa was about to say something about it, you slipped your fingers back inside, thrusting even harder and faster, a moan taking up the space of her words. Her pupils were blown wide, and her chest was flushed and covered in, what you thought was, art.

Your thumb on her clit continues to tease her further, her gasps becoming more frequent and the rhythm more frantic. Just when you curl your fingers into that special spot inside of her, her back arches fully into you, and a loud moan leaves her mouth. When you press your lips to hers in an attempt to silence her loud moans, the kiss is sloppy and messy. A few moments later, curses in what seemed to be French started leaving her mouth. Within the next few moments, you can feel her walls flutter around your fingers and her hands clawing at your back, into the fabric of your suit, while you throw her over the edge. You helped her ride out her high, before pulling away. “Who do you belong to?” You ask her, wanting to know if she remembered anything about your conversation from before. “Yours.” She panted, trying to catch her breath.

Her hair was now messy, the heart-mark washed away by sweat and her lipstick was smudged. You wondered if there was some on your face. The way she smiled at you made your heart ache. “I think I’m in love with you.” You blurted out. Just as you realized what you had said, you put your hands to your mouth. “Sorry- that was...”

“You think or you know?” Clarissa asked, now back to her cocky self. “I know.”

#gxg #wlw #fem!reader #lesbian #rebecca welton #rebecca welton x reader #ted lasso #hannah waddingham #lady bellaston x reader #lady bellaston #tom jones pbs

[beardedhandstoadshark]

Can you tell us about your experience on Paris?

Oh dear. So, Paris.

It’s been 6 years so I don’t remember most things correctly anymore (if at all), but anyways.

So it was a…5-7h? Drive there but we spent solid 2h of that drive in Paris because the moment the working hours start, the streets turn into a battlefield. The markings on the ground straight up do not exist anymore. 3 lanes marked? Jokes on you, it’s actually 9 lanes and one of them‘s going sideways into the other! The start was already quite chaotic, for real I was looking out the window and it was all cars. Lots of French yelling too. With a bit of English! But tbh it was kinda fun (then again I also wasn’t the one driving so it’s probably only because of that XD) So while we did have a car, it was put in a park house and the rest was all walking I think (though there’s train/subway stations everywhere so you can totally use these to get around between a bit farther places )

Turns out Paris only really has like. One street that’s really got stuff in it (that big path that was either near to or leading to the plaza with the Eiffel Tower, I forgot) and a LOT of parks, unless you wanna walk off the path to check out the rest of the city like an insider? But in that case you should probably bring some French skills with you. If English is all you’ve got, then the main tourist locations it is. Partially because from what I‘ve been told, the dislike for English absolutely a thing there, too, outside said tourist places. But maybe that’s actually a cliche, idk. XD It’s always good to know some sentences in the language of the place, in any case. Sometimes even lets you get less tourist pricing, too!

Which also meant that for the most part, it was actually just going around shopping, and going to the Eiffel Tower. We‘ve had crepes near there from a really small stand selling them, they were pretty good!

On the way there there were like 2 or 3 pantomimes, and a guy apparently befriending every single pigeon in Paris because my man was not only SWARMED, but looked like he knew what he was doing. Had them on his head, the entire arm length, completely surrounding him and everything. Even went around offering others to have them sit on their hand, too. Didn’t go near him but it was fascinating.

If I remember correctly, the wait for going up the tower didn’t actually take that long, all things considered? Might’ve been because of the day or the time of day we were there. Also IF I remember this correctly as well, there’s actually two levels you could get on, and we managed to catch it right before the higher one closed! (Though I might be confusing this with a TV tower I was on). The view from the Eiffel tower was pretty cool, actually! You could overlook the whole area, and see all the green areas and streets surrounding it, it was nice. Probably shouldn’t look down if you’re afraid of heights, tho XD (Would’ve put photos here but idk where my old phone is/if it even works lol)

Visited the Louvre too, though just from outside (not gonna spend the whole day waiting there just to visit Mona for a minute from a meter apart). The building and the ones surrounding it both look really nice in drastically different ways, though.

Left multiple hours earlier than was planned due to getting caught up in an event that would probably need a content warning (of the "shit that makes it into other countries‘ news for a short time"variety). This sounds way worse than it actually was being there? But still, while I absolutely don’t mind talking about it, a cw would probably be saver just to be sure in case someone‘s sensitive, but since the readmore/cut is already being utilized above, there’s no good way to hide it if I were to put it here. So uhh. If you wanna know what happened well free to drop an ask, otherwise, yea, we left early so I wasn’t able to see everything that was planned.

Otherwise, Paris was nice, don’t get me wrong (well minus the end there but that doesn’t count) but it’s absolutely being romanticized to hell and back in basically every piece of media. Going there once is nice, or maybe if you’ve got a lot of years in-between, but like. It’s not a place you need to visit every year XD Pretty sure you could plan to visit all the main interesting places in a few days (depending on wether or not you wanna do the time intensive things like visit Mona.)

#another anon ask #lots of ^if I remember correctly^ #sorry bout that #it’s just been a while

[tobiosmilktea]

(3)—and so they’ve never really had convo’s unless they get invited to hang out w/ their mutual friends. so maybe it makes them think if they’ve done anything wrong to her, but in reality it’s just her way of coping when she starts to genuinely like someone? so if she avoids them, she thinks it will get rid of her crush on them? it’s your choice if it’s the reader or the guy that’ll confess! ☺️ anyways, god bless and i hope you have a good day xx

on avoiding your crush with oikawa, kuroo, akaashi, and terushima

a/n: ngl this one is kinda long that’s why it took a while to post, but i like spoiling you guys so enjoy :))

— o. tooru

you were never really the type to confess your feelings to someone as not doing anything about your feelings and forgetting them is much easier that having to suffer the consequences of rejection or heartbreak

this was especially prevalent when the boy you’re literally head over heels for is in fact none other than the golden boy of seijoh himself, oikawa tooru

homeboy has a literal entourage of girls following around all the time

they literally give him sweet little gifts like baked goods and cute little knickknacks, not to mention a lot of them are super pretty and attractive

like how the hell could you compete with that many girls ??

not to mention you had always come to believe that oikawa was into more outspoken and lively girls granted his own personality

that dynamic of you being the quiet one in the relationship with him being the loud one was something you thought oikawa wasn’t looking for,, it honestly made you want to give up your feelings for him completely

mind you, you literally CANNOT escape this man

not only was he talked about a lot among your classmates, but by some form of sheer luck and faith, you two were both in the same friend group

you honestly had no idea how the hell you were part of it in the first place, but during first year you just magically became part of this friend group composed of oikawa, iwaizumi, mattsukawa, and a couple of other girls from your year

anyone that attended seijoh with half a brain cell would know that the friend group you were in was definitely the popular crowd

you couldn’t help but feel some sort of impostor syndrome as you weren’t exactly the most popular, if anything people only knew you as the quiet girl in oikawa’s group

that definitely didn’t mean that anyone in your circle was rude to you in any way

everyone in your friend group would literally die for you as you’re genuinely the sweetest person they have ever met

like if they hear anyone talk shit about you, they’re immediately #protecty/n2020 !!

yet despite being in the same circle of friends, you and oikawa rarely talk. hell, you guys are barely considered acquaintances let alone friends

you liked to stick around the girls of the group more as the only guy you actually talked to in your circle was iwaizumi and that was it

this obviously led oikawa to believe that he had done something to you that made you avoid him at all costs

the thing is, he always had this problem with since the start of your first year together, but recently it had been affecting him more than he had thought considering he would’ve been used to it by now in his third year

perhaps it was the way he would watch you giggle at something matsukawa whispered in your ear, or the fact that you literally had a secret handshake with iwaizumi, or often shared some of the snacks you bought with your girl friend but did absolutely nothing with him

it irked him to his very core that the one he had always was the most found with in his group of friends was someone who avoided him at all costs

he would spend his breaks during practice to exasperatedly vent to iwaizumi about how adorable your laugh was and how envious he was that he couldn’t make you laugh

or how whenever you would sometimes greet iwaizumi with a hug but completely pass by him would literally make him chase after you

“Y/N!! where’s my hug??” 

yeah he’s that type of guy, but in a good way tho lmao

and in the midst of oikawa telling his best friend how much he just wanted to be your friend made iwaizumi roll his eyes

“the way you talk about (y/n) makes it sound like you like her,” he would mutter nonchalantly as he sipped at his water bottle

iwaizumi would flicker his gaze towards oikawa to see the capillaries in his cheeks literally burst, tinting his cheeks all pink 

he had to stop himself from snorting out a laugh as iwa may or may not have known about your crush on seijoh’s golden boy himself

the way he had find out was pretty simple considering you and iwa were walking side by side near the back of the group as they were walking towards somewhere to eat

the girls and mattsun in the front were too busy teasing oikawa, that they weren’t really paying attention to you and iwa lagging behind

“you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but why do you avoid him?” iwaizumi asked gently. as he was the only guy in the group that you trusted, he didn’t want to ruin it by forcing an answer out of you knowing how you were

immediately, your cheeks heated you lowered your voice down into a mere whisper. “promise me you won’t tell anyone,” iwa nodded before bringing his ear down so you could whisper in his ear. “i really like oikawa and...” you paused, almost hesitating and you don’t exactly know why

but fortunately, iwa was super patient with you like he’s literally a homie

“and?”

“i’ve liked him since our first year and i figured avoiding him would make me lose feelings. but the thing is, it’s been three years and i still like that idiot.” you sighed, and yet for once you didn’t expect the worst as you knew you could trust iwa with valuable information like that

he nods, pinching his pointer finger and his thumb together before pretending to lock his lips. “you’re secret safe with me, (y/n).”

so here iwa was now, attempting to provoke something in oikawa 

it was then the coach had blown the whistle, signalling that break time was over and they had to get back on court for their last practice game

oikawa cleared his throat as they stood up, flickering a look towards his best friend as he suddenly remembered the times he felt envious of him. “what if i do like (y/n)?”

iwaizumi feigned a smirk on his lips, “then confess to her before i do.” (he wasn’t actually going to lol)

and lemme tell you sumn, even though this was just a practice game, oikawa played as if his life depended on it

as if having you depended on it

and per usual, oikawa’s team won in the end and every day after volleyball practice, you and the rest of the girls would walk in and wait for the rest of the boys to get ready so you can all get food

there you were in all your glory, you hair blew gently behind you due to the air conditioned gym. you were waiting patiently and you definitely didn’t mind waiting as the boys had to clean up after themselves, but you swore you had never seen oikawa clean up faster in his life

once the vb team finished and your circle of friends were on your way out of school, oikawa purposely lagged behind the group as he stood next to you to your surprise

he was usually leading the group, but for once he was at the end with you. giving you a smile, to which you quickly avoided, oikawa quickly rested his hand around you

“hey (y/n)?” he says as you try your best to hide the sudden onset of heat rising to your cheeks

“hm?” you hummed, attempting to not give much of a reaction. maybe then he would leave you alone and your feelings for him would finally disappear

oikawa brought his lips to your ear, “do you know how long i’ve liked you?”

and immediately you froze, forcing oikawa to stop walking too and making the gap between you and the rest of the group to widen. you shake the thought out of your head, he’s probably playing around, you thought before continuing down the road

“shut it, oikawa.” you pulled yourself out of his grasp only to be pulled back in by him

“i’m serious, (y/n). i’ve liked you for a while now and it’s been absolute torture seeing you be closer to iwa and mattsun rather than me.” muttered oikawa, almost feeling embarrassed himself despite experiencing many confessions himself

perhaps maybe this time he was the one confessing and not the other way around

— k. tetsurou

where do i even start with this man

there was something always so compelling about kuroo, that you really couldn’t resist his good looks and to how kind he treated you

granted, you were the manager for nekoma’s volleyball team so maybe it was a given, but there is no denying the fact that you were irrevocably head over heels for the captain

your feelings for him initially formed in the middle of your first year at nekoma and the volleyball team’s manager was already in their last yer and preparing to leave so they needed a replacement

at first you said no, but kuroo, who was also a first year and in the same class as you literally begged for you to join. he mentioned how fun it would be, especially with him around

from the way your heart bounded in place within the confines of your ribs, to the way your cheeks often heated up whenever you were around him, even kenma (who you didn’t even meet until your second year) had already seen through you

fortunately, kenma was always the kind to mind his own business and stay in his lane. in fact, he had actually been a big help in you vying for kuroo’s attention but you both eventually got tired of how daft the captain had been

instead, you aimed to just avoid kuroo as much as possible for the time being, perhaps your feelings for him from the past three years would finally disappear and you can finally move on with your life

but it was safe to say you were not anticipating how hard it was going to be

not only were the nekoma’s volleyball manager and had to interact with the captain, you and kenma were also close friends. and when it comes to being friends with kenma, kuroo is more or less with him as well which made it inevitably more difficult

momma didn’t raise no bitch tho, so you powered through and avoided kuroo as best as you could and only talked to him if it involved school or volleyball

this was technically the worst form of silent treatment where it wasn’t full on ignoring (which honestly isn’t that bad cause you tended to forget about the person anyway) but this kind of silent treatment where you are constantly reminded of it because you had to talk once in a while was literally killing kuroo slowly

he was always a social person and usually respected and didn’t mind those who wanted to distance themselves from him, but once it came from you, it was literally game over

he believed that you were the second closest person to him besides kenma (and excluding the rest of the vb team) and the fact that you don’t even like making eye contact with him makes him feel dejected

especially when your actions really came abrupt as one day you were laughing and hanging out with him to giving him the cold shoulder and only talking to kenma

kuroo genuinely thought he had done something to you 

eventually, after volleyball practice where everyone had to clean up, he would deliberately slowed down and waited until you and him were the last ones in the gymnasium

“(y/n),” he called out to you as you finished putting all the stray balls into it’s respective basket

your eyes widened into saucers as your pulse suddenly increased, turning around to face the tall captain, you had to force a mellow look upon your face

he held the net in his hands, “could you help me with this?”

you didn’t even mutter a response as you only nodded. you hated how you had to act so cold to him, but it was what you had to do in order to leave your feelings for him behind

your train of thought went like this: it was only a couple months before your third year ended anyway, might as well forget about him

walking past the captain, you bent down and grabbed the other end of the net and you two began folding it in quietly

kuroo was going to spark a conversation, but he surprisingly found that silence blanketing you two to be comforting. he couldn’t take his eyes off of you each and every time the net had gotten shorter and shorter

eventually you two met in the middle, your eyes were directly looking at his broad chest you had hesitantly flickering a glance up at him

“stop ignoring me,” kuroo said in almost a harsh whisper

your cheeks flared red as you looked away shyly, pulling the net along with you and out of his hands. “i’m not ignoring you.”

“yes, you are.” he presses, “we were fine before, but now you don’t even talk to me anymore... did i do something wrong?”

you couldn’t help but notice that slight hurt in his serious tone that made you look back to him. your eyebrows furrow as suddenly your throat felt incredibly dry

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you answered while kuroo approached you closer

“then what is it?” he scoffs dejectedly, placing his hands on his hips as he searched your expression for any answer. it was then his eyes widened larger than ever as he felt the rhythm of his heart quicken, “holy shit,” he sighed, “did you find out?”

confusion melted over your visage as you looked up at him, “find out what?”

“lev and yaku probably told you didn’t they?”

you were still not following, “told me what?”

“that i like you!” he exclaimed, his sudden confess echoing throughout the empty gym as everything went silent. the only sound surrounding you two was the air conditioning circulating around you two as you were completely frozen in place

you mouth ran slightly agape and undeniably speechless at the mere fact that that just happened. you certainly weren’t expecting it as your cheeks heated up for the umpteenth time, you swore they were never going to be given a break anytime soon.

meanwhile, whilst you were in a state of utter shock, the worst was spiraling inside kuroo psyche. with how long the silence fell upon you two, he couldn’t help but to feel that you were just thinking of a nice way to reject him

“look (y/n), i--” he was immediately cut off by you throwing a light punch to his chest, your eyes had fallen to the floor to hide the burning red sensation tinting your ears and cheeks

“i like you too, idiot.” you mutter, almost feeling a shiver down your spine as kuroo held your hand that was on his chest. “why do you think i was avoiding you for so long?”

— a. keiji

as i’ve mentioned in previous headcanons, homeboy is BLUNT

and he would definitely call you out on your shit with avoiding him and all

despite being on the quieter side, he does like conversing with other people with his amiable witticisms and classical one-liners whenever he would pop into a conversation

usually people (specifically ones he’s not entirely close to) would get annoyed by this, which is why he’s quiet in the first place. but when he first met you, you played off of his words. for once, akaashi was surprised by this and was immediately compelled by you

meanwhile, you were good friends with bokuto, which was the only reason why you had gotten to know the setter in the first place. you were well aware that he was bo’s best friend and was genuinely surprised how nuanced the pair was

eventually, you had come to take a liking for the boy as he was always quiet and a bit mysterious, yet whenever he talked it would always make you laugh or melt a smirk on your face

you were a year older and in the same year as bokuto, so to you it always seemed a bit weird to date someone younger than you. you always pined yourself as someone who would rather date older guys or someone around your age, but this was definitely an exception

however, you definitely didn’t like the idea of perhaps confessing to akaashi and then leaving in a couple months for college. it honestly seemed like a waste of time to get into a relationship especially in this time of the school year, so had decided to do something you had always done:

avoid your feelings until they disappear into oblivion

it would make things easier on both of your parts anyway, you were in your last year of high school and on your way to college while akaashi had the possibility of taking over the captain spot next year and had to focus on his final year

besides, despite knowing him for a good two years, you could never tell whether or not he liked you (even as a friend)

so here you were, acting suspiciously cold and avoiding your underclassman who, for once, is vying for you attention and you aren’t even noticing

whenever you were around bokuto, akaashi would purposely try to be in the conversation more and maybe even try to stand closer to you than before. he would often ignore the slight aching jealousy in his gut whenever you and bokuto messed around during lunch

honestly, homie doesn’t even know he has feelings for you and just simply thinks he did something wrong that you don’t want to interact with him anymore

he eventually went to bokuto about it, “does (y/n) hate me?”

and perhaps his best friend had to feign laughing right in akaashi’s face at this, “why would you think that?”

“well, she’s avoiding me and i don’t like it.”

one of bokuto’s eyebrows lift as he gave akaashi a look, “why don’t you ask her yourself?”

the setter sighs, “but she’s an upper--”

“since when were you scared of third years?” the alabaster haired boy chuckles, “c’mon akaashi, you’re a big boy now. deal with that yourself.”

the second year grumbles as he pushing himself off his chair, “fine.” he mutters as he made his way out of bo’s classroom and towards the courtyard where you sometimes hung out during lunch

he immediately spotted your figure talking among other third year girls, eyes never leaving you as he made his way over.

“excuse me, can i borrow (y/n) for a minute?” he asked, his height looming over you and the others as they gave you a look.

a sigh left your lips as you excused yourself and went with akaashi. you didn’t bother speaking to him as you simply just followed him into an empty hallway

“do you know how rude it is to ignore people, senpai?” he starts, provocation lacing his words as you gave him a look. he was well aware of the fact that you lowkey didn’t like being called senpai, so he was definitely saying just to get you riled up

“eh,” you shrug, trying to act nonchalant as possible. “it depends on who and why you’re ignoring them.”

“why are you ignoring me then?” he interrogates you.

and you weren’t entirely sure if it was his height towering over you or the way his words were leaving your mouth that made your heart skip a beat, you had almost forgot his was your kouhai

“because.”

akaashi peered his eyes at how sus you were being, “because??”

you sigh, ripping your eyes away from him as you thought to yourself briefly. you definitely couldn’t continue looking at him as each beat that passes you felt the rhythm of your heart quicken. was he really affecting you this much?

you considered this: you were in the your last and final year with the possibility of not seeing akaashi ever again once you graduate. despite it being a bit bittersweet, telling him your feelings would possibly lift some weight off your shoulders and you didn’t have to worry about it anymore

looking back at him, you swallowed your pride. fuck it

“because i have feelings for you and i’m trying to forget them,” you confess quickly as your arms braided over each other, watching as akaashi’s expression morphed into surprise and almost a mere confusion

“y-you like me?” he asks for a confirmation to which to nod and watch his cheeks and his ears burst into shades of pink and red blush

perhaps you found yourself blushing too with how adorable he was as he cleared his throat to regain his composure

“why were you trying to forget them?” there was a hint of hesitance in his voice as he asked, almost to afraid to know the reason.

bittersweetness suddenly coursed through your veins as you sigh, “i’m going to graduate in a few months, akaashi... i’m going to go away for college while you’re still going to be here and i’m not sure if we’re actually going to see each other again.”

“we can if we tried,” he mutters quietly as there was still an inch of hope within him. “we can still make it work.”

“you think so?”

“i know so.”

— t. yuuji

you had now idea how the hell you had come to like someone like terushima yuuji

not only was he incredibly loud and a bit childish in nature, he was an absolute fuckboy

it should’ve been a big enough turn off, but perhaps you somehow liked how he would remember the little things whenever he would annoy the shit out of you everyday

like how you always got melon buns for lunch, he would always buy you one before you even had the chance. or how he knew your favorite subject was math, despite you never mentioning to him. or how he knew that there was always a kick in your step whenever you were in a good mood.

despite his persistent nature is more likely to come off as arrogant and annoying, sometimes his assertiveness comes to be beneficial at times

like that one time you were walking home during the night and a pair of creepy older dudes kept asking you for your number, terushima (who was also going home after volleyball practice) had come to help you

his persistence in making sure the guys left you alone had worked and perhaps the way he wrapped his arm around you protectively had your heart pumping faster than you anticipated

that was when you had finally come to the conclusion that you had feelings for some fuckboy name terushima yuuji, who literally annoyed you to your core

knowing damn well that terushima wasn’t going anywhere, you figured that if you avoided him enough, that your feelings for him would eventually go away

you supposed it was because of his usual nature, constantly flirting around with other girls before eventually getting bored of them. it then rang into your head, wondering when terushima would eventually get bored of you

perhaps there was an aching his your heart when you thought about it, but in your brain you wished for him to forget about you. if anything, it would’ve made loosing your feelings for the blond boy to go away easier

your avoidance and lack of interaction with terushima definitely did not unnoticed by him. if anything, it made him want to talk to you more

he would literally shower you with melon buns and snacks during lunch, to which you would politely decline and walk away from him. he would greet you everyday in the mornings, to which you would simply flicker him a look before brushing past him

for once, terushima felt challenged when it came it you and only fueled his yearning to get back to that stage of comfortably throwing his arm over your shoulder

it even got to the point of you ignoring him enough that you started talking to another guy in your class, with how comfortable you are with the new dude as you were playfully handsy and giggled loudly at his jokes

perhaps he felt a bit jealous that someone else was making you act like. terushima wanted that to be him

it was like a wave of emotions had tumbled over him as he saw you and the boy walking with a group of others in front of him. he swiftly caught up and pulled you away from the group fast enough that they didn’t notice

“terushima?” you said breathlessly

“i like you, (y/n).” he went straight to the point. there was no reason to beat around the bush any longer as you and him were finally alone together and he didn’t know whether he would have this chance ever again, “i like you a lot, so stop ignoring me.”

“y-you like me?” you repeat, you eyebrows suddenly furrowing. “is this a joke?”

homie couldn’t help but notice the slight worry lacing your voice, as if he wasn’t serious and just playing you. he was well away of his reputation and certainly did not want it to get in the way of you and him. 

“i’m serious.” he reassures, “there’s a reason why you’re the only one i haven’t gotten bored of.”

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa fluff #oikawa hcs #oikawa headcanons #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x reader #kuroo fluff #kuroo hcs #kuroo headcanons #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #akaashi fluff #akaashi hcs #akaashi headcanons #terushima yuuji #terushima x reader #terushima fluff #terushima hcs #terushima headcanons

[wexhappyxfew]

For the most memorable scene game: Natia giving socks to Joe (YOU JUST KNOW HOW I LOVE THIS), the whole chapter when we found out what happened to Klimeck and the others😭😭 and then the spoon conversation 😂.

For your other works, I'd say Catherine and George first kiss (such a beautiful surprise), Hazel being capable to take Julian in Bastogne (what a queen) and basically all Lizzie and Floyd moments because all of them are so iconic and it's difficult to think only one

HELLO FRANCY!!! :D

NATIA GIVING TOYE SOCKS! NATIA GIVING TOYE SOCKS! (i DO know how much you love this and i’m beyond happy you do!!) francy i could go on about this scene for days i tell you, there is just so much content packed into that singular scene that is there to discuss! and, in the view of their whole relationship, it really shows simply how much they care for each other, in even this simple manner. [i could truly go on my friend, even more so hehe] but i will contain myself for the sake of this ask! BUT ENTIRELY AGREE; it is pivotal of showing deep down that natia cares, just we see how stuck she is in this whirlwind of war :(

OH GOSH! THAT CHAPTER :( i’ll admit, since about week 2 of writing that was always the goal to write a scene like that and looking back, it’s heart wrenching, truly. it’s one of those scenes where, though i knew it would be painful and with some heavy topics, it was one that needed to be addressed. IM GLAD IT WAS MEMORABLE THO! :,) it it certainly always memorable for me!

SPOONS! :D this convo is by far one of my favs of the chaos trio; it matches their entire vibe in general as people and friends + plus letting readers pick a side haha!! ;)

CATH AND GEORGE! OML! ONE OF MY MOST SURPRISING DUOS! my absolute *favs* let me tell you (and i agree a wonderful surprise haha!) i really enjoyed writing that scene for them; not only did i feel they enjoyed it, but i felt with their personalities it was very much *THEM*, if you catch my drift! :)

HAZEL! TINY!! my precious bean!! (oh how i miss her!!) yes! that was such an important scene to her more than anything and i was beyond happy to write it because in my mind, in that moment, her in that situation was one that needed to be written and i’m so glad i wrote it! it showed her morals, her character and her view of war. MAN, i think i need to go back and take a read just to read her character again!!

LIZZE AND TAB OMG!!! MY CHAOS DUO! i stg they were even more surprising than catherine and george!! they just matched each other so well in the end tho just :,) i’m glad you enjoyed all their chaos scenes more than anything! + when they spent D-Day together with (Shifty? Smokey? idk i can’t remember tbh lol!) ANYWAY, that was one of my fav things to write EVER!

thank you sm francy for giving your two cents on this; i really enjoyed this little trip down memory lane with the OCs!! :) thank you for all your love and support; it means so much! 💛

#band of brothers #bob fic #landslide #natia filipska #tsos #aapa #hazel parker #catherine mccown #elizabeth elliot #CHAOS! #memorable scenes #i really loved this francy youre too sweet!!

[bloodsuckingprince-anthony]

I have to say, I really enjoying Laws of Attraction. I really do. This book makes it up for PB to give up on heavy potential books like Distant Shores and Foreign Affairs. (The tragedy they did to those books even tho I still like them. Side Note: Slow Burn is a great book too) It feels like whoever the team is behind this book actually took their time to stay on course with the plot, characters have well placed personalities...it's just outstanding so far. This is a prime example of how Open Heart should had been. (Not to talk about that messy book.)

I even love all the characters.

The MC: There have been some incompetent MC's that makes me want to choke them, but this one I like.

Gabe Ricci: Sorry but not actually sorry Ethan and Sam stans but Gabe to me is a perfect written boss. He is much more chill. He recognizes MC's work ethnics unlike Ethan who belittles the MC, keep their relationship a secret, and doesn't appreciate the MC until the third book when the MC had to save his ass from a huge lawsuit. And Sam who would risk everything and destroy his/her home for the nanny. Like, I love the slow burn with him and MC. Like he knows he want MC but he want to focus on the case and I can respect that. Especially, if he's your route, It looks like MC is the one who perusing Gabe and when Gabe is fighting to not cross that taboo line, MC goes to have these random hookups. The angst and drama is keeping me interested. And I know it is working because I see people in the fandom PISSED that Gabe isn't dicking them down yet. Lol. I love it.

Ashlinn: What a sweet angel. She is perfect wifey material. I love how she started as a quiet nervous person and by each chapter, she grows into a much more confident woman. That chapter with the actors and she placed Beau in his lane, I lived. If she was my type, I would romanced her with my MC. Maybe in my next run of the book.

Beau: Ok I knew Beau would be that fuckboy character just because he has family ties to the firm. Typical frat boy. I knew we would hate him, especially after he took credit from MC's hard work, but again the character development of him to be more serious just make me like him. He earned extra points for taking the heat for MC and the rest of the team in today's chapter. I would loved if he was an LI option.

Martin: I know he supposed to be the villain and be this "I'm better than you" jackass but I can't be mad at him. Again the character development. He's trying to stay snarky but he's slowly warming up to the team. It's cute that he thinks he's MC's rival, but we all know. But real tip, the man needs to be laid. MC would help.

Gigi: Sis! Queen! Ride or die! I. LOVE. THIS. WOMAN! Just her everything is just god tier. I know she mentioned a girlfriend in the beginning of the book, but what would it been if our wlw sisters get to romance her? The dynamic between them would be powerful. (I wish my MC could romance her. I'll put a ring on that finger fast.)

Sadie: Boss ass bitch. I like her. I seen people upset that she yelled at the team in the chapter, even tho it is the team's fault to give Marcus information before them. Honestly, they could had waited to tell Marcus after they notify Gabe and Sadie. I've even seen folks on here saying "She does nothing for the case but judge" that's the point. She literally put trust in the case in Gabe and the team's hands and Gabe keep her up to date about it. So she has all the right. Plus, she the type to like it when people go for what they want. I saw comments about when Mac requested a room by the lake at her home. Sadie expressed the expression "Closed mouths don't get feed" and I kinda respect her for that.

Marcus: Yeah I dig this character because I can relate to him. As a black man myself, I get why he don't be too comfortable with lawyers. In RL, it is so hard for black people to trust the justice system. There would be so much evidence that proves that you're innocent but the police would do the bare minimum or none at all policing because they made up their minds that you did it. Then there would be slimy lawyers that tells you to plea guilty because you can't win. So I can understand why Marcus acting this way. Yes, he should believe in this team more, but I understand where he is coming from. (Sorry that I put real issues in this lol) Now to the juicy topic. I knew Marcus wanted MC since that walk they did in a couple of chapters before. And yes it is so unprofessional and unethical for a lawyer to sleep with their clients. But, did I spend the night with him regardless? Yes. Yes I did. To be fair, Marcus asked MC for comfort and relief. MC never showed any interest in Marcus or perused him. He ASKED out of trust. So to me this part got me actually thinking. Should my MC give in to him so he can keep the trust in MC or MC turn him down and he would change his perspective of MC later down the road. Either or I feel like consequences is going to happen and as I am an angst trash, I went and gave Marcus the night of his life. If it's not your cup of tea (Again shout out to the wonderful wlw ladies out there) totally understandable. But I like Marcus. If he becomes a potential LI which it looks like then Gabe has some serious competition because I might switch up.

The Hookups: I enjoy them. I like Lisa (The Robin sprite I think is her name in this book. I can't remember. How awkward it is to be playing The Nanny Affair while playing this book because of Robin/Lisa) And Tyler. Yes my MC did do that mlm threesome with Tyler and the PI (who name I also forgot). Yes MC gave the PI that good dick while Tyler watched. I feel robbed slightly that my MC didn't dick down Teddy after we made out with him in the club but the threesome made up for it. These hookups wouldn't happen if Gabe and Ashlinn isn't giving us this wonderful slow burn romance. But I enjoyed it.

Overall, I really like this book. I say this book is A tier. It has it moments like the group trust trip..that was weird but still. A tier. Close but not S tier like Blades. (That book is *chef kiss* Closer we are to the what will be insanity that is Blades 2 and I can not wait!) I hope this is the same team that is doing Crimes of Passion. (The acronym of Crimes of Passion is CoP...I see what they did there.) That book screams LoA's spin off. But still I'm really enjoying LOA. I just hope this not going to be a standalone book. It said it is a series at the beginning of the book, but PB been shady about that lately. Let it stay as a series. Hopefully it is a series.

#playchoices #laws of attraction #play choices #choices laws of attraction #spoilerish

[dapper-wings]

SPN 15x13 “Destiny’s Child” Reaction

Guys this episode KILLED ME i loved it SO MUCH HOLY CRAP

Spoilers for Supernatural season 15 below but holy crap y’all, GO WATCH THIS EP XD

Wow this then and now is just nostalgia lane huh

WHAT THE HECK

OH MY GOD DID THAT JUST HAPPEN

THAT CAR

THE MAN BUN

THE SHOES

THE FIST BUMP

OH MY GOD

BILLIE

I freaking love Billie she is a gift to supernatural every time she comes on screen I’m just like YAAASSSSSS

This Billie/dean snarkiness tho

“Who’s gonna take over, Jack?” *jack pops bubble* “yeah probably not*

This one feels so familial I love it!!!

Danieel in the House!!!!!

Is she wearing a dress over a sweater I love her

OH MY GOD JENSEN SAYING HES BETTER LOOKING THAN GOD TO HIS WIFE IS PERFEFTION

RUBY WHAT THE HECK

RUBY AND JO ARE CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE

OH MY GOOOOODDDD GEEEEENNNNNNNNNN

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

OF COURSE ITS IN HELL

OH MY GOD I AM NOT OVER THIS LIKE I KNEW IT WAS COMING AND ITS STILL JUST DAMN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH GEN AND DAN AND JENSEN AND JARED ALL TOGETHER IN THE SPN VERSE IS PERFECTION AND GOD I NEED A SPIN-OFF SERIES OF JO AND RUBYS ANTICS NOW HOLY CRAP CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY MY SKIN IS CLEARED I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

not gonna lie that flashback scene of Ruby’s death kinda did stab by heart tho

hers too lmao 

BUT OTHERWISE IM IN MCFREAKIN LOOOOVEEEE

omg all that takeout food tho #confirmed jacks a Winchester

Jack and Cas bonding I love it

SAM WITCH YAS THANK YOU 

THE DORK WINCHESTERS ARE BACK YAS

So they’re just in hell now gosh remember when this was a big deal and now it’s just like “welp sure we have a vacation home there”

even the demons are done

CAS NO DONT GO TO THE EMPTY 

CAS AND RUBY AND MEG ALL TOGETHER AUGH

“I’m far from happy” #mood

Is that Bobby’s flask

Cas no don’t go to the empty!!! What the heck I guess there’s just no holds barred anymore that’s fine okay sure yeah okay

YEAH WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG LEAVING THE SOULESS NEPHILIM IN CHARGE OF CAS’ DEATH AND SAM AND DEAN IN HELL 

WORST PLAN EVER

DEAN THATS YOUR WIFE

I AM HAVING SO MANY FEELINGS YALL AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MEG?!???!?!?!??

I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE SPN KIDS TO ALL WATCH THIS EP TOGETHER LATER ON

MY BRAIN CANT HANDLE THIS WOW

“am I still an idiot” “well yeah” 

“I have a dumb idea”

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS AUGH MY HEART

witch Sam DOES things to me I’m tellin’ ya

FAKE SAMS FACE AT THE BEER

“WE GET PAID FOR HUNTING MONSTERS” “YOU WHAT”

Gooooollllldddeeeeeeeeen

HUNTER CORP I NEED ANSWERS SHIT SHIT SHIT SPN ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME

JARED BEING PISSY WITH HIMSELF 

JENSEN BEING A DIVA WITH HIMSELF

I FUCKING LOVE THIS AUGHHH

THAT IS NOT ALTERNATE DEAN AND SAM THATS JUST JARED AND JENSEN TAKING THE PISS ROFL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

ooooooo crap I hate hellhounds 

HIS PINKY IN THE AIR

MY HAIR IS SACRED DAMN STRAIGHT

I NOW WANT TO INTRODUCE ALL OTHER FANS TO THIS SHOW VIA THIS EP

TREATING JACK LIKE A PUPPY “NO SPIT IT OUT”

DEANS FACE OF HORROR WHEN HE ATE IT LOL

They are parents arguing over their child lol

aw jack baby no

DORK WINCHESTERS TOOK BABY FOR A JOYRIDE DEAR LORD 

JACK HAS HIS SOUL AGAIN YES

#supernatural #spn #supernatural season 15 #destiel #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #spoilers for supernatural

[whetstonefires]

I have wandered into your tumblr and I want to know absolutely everything about your ideas for Earth 3 Impetus and Motion. EVERYTHING. Possibly the least relevant part of that is the family line, as Earth 3 often has really skewed versions of the characters. Would the first Johnny Quick even have a speedster grandson when he was killed and his blood used to power his successors?

Oh, cool ask! Thank you!

😄 I’m very happy to talk about this but I’m afraid you may be disappointed, because I’m Doing It Wrong. I’ve been working off and on on a bespoke Earth-3 for the past…several years. Production has slowed but not stopped. It’s up to over 300,000 words on AO3 at this point.

The issue that set me off was that tendency to skew; I didn’t like it. I found that, most of the times DC had built into Earth-3 before rebooting again, there were two countervailing currents leading writing decisions. On the one hand to make things As Wrong As Possible compared to the main timeline, and on the other to just make them…arbitrarily different.

Lois Lane is Superwoman, evil counterpart of Wonder Woman, for some reason, woop-de-do; this fits under both categories.

This process worked neither according to the ‘timeline that diverged into a Bad Timeline at some point in the distant past but somehow contains versions of the same people in the same place’ premise of the original Star Trek ‘Mirror, Mirror’ episode, nor does it work according to any direct cosmic principle of inversion, although some of the early versions claimed to.

(See: Mirror Christopher Columbus discovered Europe and then later Evil George Washington conquered England for the American Empire, what even guys. 😩)

Also Earth-3 so transparently existed almost every time it was reinvented as a place to get villains from, and to look bad in comparison to the main timeline, without any attention to making it work internally, which I thought was a damn waste of a cool concept. ‘A damn waste of a cool concept’ drives a lot of fanwork lol.

So for my world, I had the slightly conflicting goals of working as close to that amorphous thing ‘canon’ as possible, and of making the setting stand on its own, as a superhero setting, with internal causality and more or less the usual sort of hero-versus-villain logic. So I inverted the alignments of only superheroes and supervillains, and kept as much as possible of their backstories intact.

This means my stuff doesn’t map onto any canon Earth-3, especially not the one from Forever Evil because that came out after I’d already gotten all the big things pinned down. 😅 Some people get upset about this and come yell at me about how i.e. Owlman is Thomas Wayne Junior. But since I always saw that particular concept as a huge cop-out from looking at how few alterations it takes to turn Bruce Wayne into a spectacular villain, I was like ‘nuts to that’ from the start.

If you’re cool with my relationship with canon, on we go.

-&-

So, Impetus and Motion! I don’t remember what I said on that one post where I remember blathering about it, so forgive me if I repeat myself. ^^

Lineage is the same as canon, technically. I’ll go over it; if you don’t care just skip ahead to the next subsection. 😄

Mirror Barry Allen, the Dash, got his villain name for his signature kill technique of grabbing someone, hyperaccelerating them, and then letting go at the right moment that they get dashed against something immovable and go splat. He dashes people against things.

(His eventual sidekick, Blaze, got his for liking to make things combust by accelerating their molecules. The combination makes them sound like a pair of racehorses, which they did not intend and are very annoyed by when it’s pointed out.)

The Dash is pretty scary, especially because most of the ways he abuses his speed for profit are so low-key nobody even notices (i.e. screwing with the stock market) and he doesn’t need to be a supervillain. He just likes it.

His public villain profile is relatively low for the level of danger he poses, tho, because his town is infested with really dumb superheroes who beat him embarrassingly often, when he actually turns up to fight or is successfully ambushed. And with the occasional exception the scale of his crimes is fairly small compared to i.e. Ultraman.

Keeping him imprisoned is ridiculously difficult, tho. He can’t be completely depowered (because the Speed Force is external to him and all the power dampeners that are used assume they’re trying to shut off something generated internally) and he’s really smart, so it took years of battles to keep him long enough to transfer into a proper cell even, and longer to get an unblurred look at his face.

His secret identity survived so long that Barry Allen was there to comfort Iris West after she was targeted by the Dash on several occasions, and they were married by the time he got ultimately unmasked.

She left him after that and moved back to the future, which she was still from because that’s hilarious, but he eventually tracked her down and promised to reform if she’d take him back. This obviously fell apart eventually, but not until after the twins were born.

I haven’t mapped out the mirror Thawne line. I assume the Thawnes with healing powers who inadvertently adopted Barry’s twin were much nicer in this timeline but idk if he ever became Cobalt Blue or what. I hope he lived to old age. Apparently there have been multiple Cobalts Blue? Idk idc, Flash continuity what even are you.

Everyone thought Eobard Thawne was nuts, but he actually did go back in time and stop the Dash from destroying the world with nukes in a fit of rage, his historical analysis, method of giving himself speed powers, and time machine were all successful. He may additionally suffer from some degree of psychosis, but he wasn’t wrong. (His little brother still exists in this universe because good!Eobard wasn’t the type to manipulate time to erase inconvenient family members. He also doesn’t have the title Professor because he never got tenure, so he just goes by Zoom.)

-&-

Bart is still Don and Meloni’s kid. Frankly I don’t understand those two in the normal timeline, so it’s hard to construct their mirror versions in any depth or even decide whether they should get mirrored. (Probably not tbh.) But I don’t exactly need to, because the resulting Bart is very much the same and thus doesn’t really know them. He was still born with his weird speed glitch that caused him to be raised in a simulation, and eventually time-traveled to un-glitch him.

The difference is that he’s not a nice kid. He’s a two year old who looks twelve and has received all his socialization from reasonably good AI in a world that was not real. Where nothing had consequences. Where nobody was real.

He’s very frightening, is Impetus. Impetuous, wildly powerful, selfish–oddly sweet, occasionally, in the ‘gay and innocent and heartless’ way of Peter Pan, but probably even more likely than Peter to knife someone. He’s so delighted the first time he eats actual ice cream, as opposed to a simulated version, but the ice cream stand is now on fire.

Mirror Bart isn’t so much cruel or even un-empathetic as solipsistic. He’s arrested in the state of an intellectually advanced toddler playing, what’s that game called, the one where the objective seems to be getting in car chases a lot? When was the last time they made a new one, I feel like I haven’t heard it mentioned in ages, it’s a dead franchise isn’t it I’m old. Grand Theft Auto! That’s it. He doesn’t just not understand that danger is real, the way Impulse started out. People aren’t.

Impetus is easily bored and surrounded by NPCs. It gets ugly, sometimes.

He also time-travels a lot more frequently than normal Bart, because he doesn’t really get attached so he doesn’t try to maintain a normal life of any kind, so he pops up all over the timestream.

Jason Blood hated him personally long before Bart had any idea who he was; they have a villain rivalry plagued by causality issues and closed time loops that is alternately epic and stupid as fuck.

And then there’s Thad. Thad’s had a less awful time than he did in canon, I think–President Thawne is not technically a supervillain so he’s probably about the same as in the original timeline, but even assuming Meloni and Don are still out of the picture (probably it’s Barry’s fault in this dimension?) raising a kid as a ‘defense mechanism against a supervillain’ calls for less extreme brainwashing fuckery than raising one to hunt down a superhero.

So he probably behaved a bit more like a reasonable grandparent, simply because the context incentivized him to emphasize concepts like duty and loyalty more, and hatred less. He might even have been able to go public with Thad’s existence, depending on the spin he came up with. Among other factors.

But it was still a depressing, isolated, dehumanizing way to grow up, and it went on a long time, because as per canon Thad has the opposite problem from Bart in terms of how he passes through time. Motion is a 40-year-old man with a 12 year old’s body and approximate life experience.

Thad was already So Tired when he finally got out into the world on his own, and once he encountered Impetus he learned pretty quickly to both pity and fear him.

Even when Thad tries to avoid Bart and just have a life, Bart always crashes back into his existence again, and in the meantime he feels guilty. Because even if he could completely shake off having been raised to see countering Impetus as his whole reason for existence, he’d still feel a lot of personal responsibility to try, because he has the ability to stand up to him in a way almost no one else does, and he knows Bart’s out there resulting in casualties.

Due to all the time travel involved, even having just defeated Impetus doesn’t mean he’s not still out there at an accessible point in the timestream, needing to be stopped.

Impetus results in Motion the way Inertia resists Impulse. They’re very much locked into an action-and-reaction framework that does not even a little bit help with Thad’s clone identity issues.

Except for how the amount of time Thad spends saving people from Bart has slowly created a fairly large body of people over the course of history who know them as distinct entities, and like Thad a lot better. 

Good feels good. ^^ It’s not necessarily the case that this happens, obviously, but with their alignment swap they also ultimately exchanged who’s defined by isolation. It takes Bart a long, long time to even understand that he’s lonely.

#flash family #thaddeus thawne #earth-3 #my take #bart allen #impetus and motion #the opposite of an evil twin #i hope this was the desired amount of everything #barry allen #BARRENCE #good and evil #mirror universe #ask #hoc est meum #wyldcard4

[justmikerrss]

to all the boys that will *never* love me:

Dear christian, stephen, mikio, oscar, royce, pat, manny, derrick, mars, gill, rex, max, kevin, and nick -- whether y’all were a crush or someone i saw myself being in a relationship with get ready bc i’m going IN. I’m gonna use this time to rank these catastrophes from level 1 to level 5. level 1 being a crush yenno not so bad or scarring, and level 5 being sad machine playing while the world is burning to pieces like bish you left a MARK on my heart. if you know me i think you know who that person is hahaha

*alexa, please play truth hurts by lizzo*

christian - level 1. lol let’s take a trip down memory lane to my first crush ever!! my gosh i remember being so kilig over this boy in elementary school at st. leander lol it was so obvious. hahaha. your spikey hair and like goofy ass smile i don’t know i was such a sucker for that. the first filipino boy i ever crushed on waow <3 but then I left st. leander and never spoke to you again. you went to o’dowd, i went to sjnd and that was it really. you went to sfsu i went to usf. idk how we ever found each other on insta, but it is so cute to see posts of you and jasmine haha a USF don as well!! the last “convo” (i wouldn’t even call it that) was when i commented on your graduation post and you commented back thanking me and saying congrats too. so happy that your trillest brand is killing it and you know nothing about me anymore but what a great time it was to know you were my first crush ever lol. thanks for this <3

stephen - level 1. lol i left st. leander and moved to sjes and was like ok, who am i gonna crush on now?? hello stephen, my first white boi lol. i knew fosho that you thought i was weird in elementary school like there is a particular time where in church i sat next to you and during the our father you did not want to hold my hand LMAO and that’s when i knew. i stood from afar. touched your thumb for heads up 7 up HAHAHA gosh you were so out of my league and such an asshole tbh. you and nick, forever making fun of me for liking mikio lmfao hate y’all forever. you went to lmu and that was history. lmao you were so mean to me. but all well. you were like not a good person i think i just liked you because of your looks? lol hahaha

mikio - level 2.5. oh my god the epitome of my boy problems in high school lmfao fuck you. jk. but high school mika wouldn’t take that back. oh myyyyy what a FLIRT were you. i had so many fantasies thinking we’d be together, we’d be m&m HAHAH BARF wow, and then you dated mel and it was just like??? then you were my escort but then i was like nope and switched you with ryann LOL suuuuper crazy like I don’t really remember the details of everything but i knew in high school being so kawawa over not being noticed by you. but then you went to davis, slo, and now in sl?? idk where you are now but you had my heart back then (barf) but that was such a long time ago that honestly it doesn’t phase me anymore!! a feeling high school mika wouldn’t have thought was possible. so thank you. i liked you because you gave me little glimmers of hope of like maybe we could be together -- you were nice, flirtatious, close to your family... not afraid to make a fool of yourself for the one you’re interested in. which wasn’t me but again that’s okay! I wrote a letter to you didn’t i? idk what i was doing why was i so dramatic tbh. you did things that honestly weren’t in my control so i can’t hate you really. again realizing that you fit my type so it just, idk

oscar -- level 1. when mikio was being a butt i knew i could crush on you. LOL the hugs, the convos, being able to laugh at anything when you were in the room what a time SJND was when you were there. now you’re in boston with your boo and i’m still really regretful over not being able to see you when i was in boston last year but it’s okay. happy that you’re happy out there :-)

royce and pat -- level 1.5. ah. USF college times man. these two were literally a duo. RA’s of the 4th floor (share yall are silly for assigning that haha) and damn, what a trip it was to crush on you. royce you were a dj so thats how i knew my thing for dj’s came. you both did your jobs at ra’s, pat you were on eboard so i saw your hustle there which i super appreciated. and this is also how i knew filipinos were my type? lol. EVEN THO YALL WERE LIKE WITH BOOS lol i am cursed but yall had hustle, swagger, passion for what you love, and still made time for partying it up and studying. and now i see royce at parties sometimes n i would awk hug him (rip at the phoenix hotel party) and i havent seen pat since he graduated but hes so happy with becca!! so cute. and its cute (and weird) how kierst is happy with royce.

****DJ SPARKY/AGANA/YURI -- level 1. yall are dj’s who i will always cringe at bc of how naive i was at shooting my shot... BUT IM GLAD YOU ALL ARE THRIVING OK LETS DISMISS THOSE BOIZ NOW 

manny -- level 2.5. ahhhhh manny manny manny. my first trip towards using dating apps and matching with someone on TINDER!!! LOL!!!! ok anywho i met up with you for a few times and it was just like... a lot of question marks bc i didn’t really know where my standards were when it came to online dating. we went on dates? but the first time i paid, and the second time you “forgot your card” so i paid again?? and then you walked me to my dorm and kissed me on the forehead?? red alert!! then you kept wanting like a second chance, to prove me wrong and i kept ignoring you bc wtf lmao... then i was foolish to let you into my life again and realized that was a mistake and blocked you again. and now you’re like a bonafide dj living your edm dreams. i saw you at audio TWICE omg rip. i liked you because lol ur filipino, a dj, buttered me up a whole ton which again problematic bc i didn’t see any of it within myself... but its okay mika is better now. better to not be talking to you. but thank you for being my stepping stone into dating apps.

derrick -- level 1. omg at times i forget about you! which i don’t know is a good or bad thing but i don’t think i ever told anyone about you lol. we met on okc, this filipino boi (lol a trend) andddd i went on like two dates with him? one, i met up with him at that one coffee spot near golden gate park. then we walked over to ggp and we just talked and thinking about it now it was very ideal for me to be myself fully, in public if that makes sense. you were so nice and genuine omg. we went to sweet maple the second time around and you paid for the food which was like wow!! diff than manny!! and i remember talking to you about kh and you loving it as much as me. but i got scared because you were like 26 or somn? i was still 20 i think and i was like this dude might be asking a lot out of me...so i told him the “this is on me i don’t feel ready and not sure how i feel” spiel. and that was history. i honestly don’t know what he is doing now but he was really nice. i felt no malicious intentions from me, i just wasn’t ready to move forward w him. the first nice guy i ever let down bruh. ugh.i hope you’re doing well now though.  

mars -- LEVEL 5. fuck me i hate this chapter SO MUCH lmao. so many drunk cries and just cries in general post this whole... like chapter. but lets start off with why i liked you: handsome as hell, close to your family, athletic, hustled, SO MF KIND EVEN WHEN I WAS BEING CRAZY, a great homie and bf quality, gave me the false hope of like “yeah ill see if i can come through” “ill let you know when i listen to this” the forever ILL LET YOU KNOWS but still views my stories and still doesn’t let me know mentality.... you never initiated any of our convos. i was STRAIGHT pursuing you even though i didn’t believe that you’d change your mind about just seeing me as a friend. you made that clear to me from the start but i didn’t take that as an answer LOL which is why i was so crazy to keep hanging out with you... even tho you were super busy and i felt like a burden you STILL made time with me, whether that was peruvian food, or thursday nightlife followed by dancing at a bar together (which i ruined when you took me home and asked you about your love language lmao), souvla, and then our final time of seeing each other: san tung and tpumps. what a fucking few months that was...only to come out of it with another girlfriend with the same name as me. LIKE WHAT. ARE. THE. ODDS. i still can’t believe it till this day. my gosh you were so nice to me mars. such a great homie. and i wasnt empathetic or smart enough to make diff decisions to retain what we had...but im happy that you’re happy with mika. other mika. yeah. man i never felt so in the dark when going through this time, this was so rough. i wasn’t eating, i’d cry in bed for days, it was so bad. i’d like to say that I’m healed from that though. lol to burning the shirt which honestly i should have kept bc it was a cute shirt.. but yeah. thank you.

gill -- level 1. lol you were dumb to think i was attractive enough to dance with at the soulection event. we exchange numbers and i think because i told you i was 21, you backed off. lol guess i was a fetus then. still am. lmao. we text for a bit but then i find out you tried to get into arcilla’s pants?? lMAO. oh and then i see you at that pool party, saw you talking to other girls and i broke DOWN bc i was crossed as hell LOL sorry ate kayla that you had to take me home that day LOL ugh i hate myself for that night. and then i see you right in front of me at OSL. in 2019?? for childish?? that was such weird weird fate. thank god you didn’t recognize me (i had long black hair there, you remembered me with short brown hair plus it was dark). i just thought it was crazy. uhm you had the fuckboy vibe and look on point.. knew everything about soulection. family oriented. but it just fizzled bc i blocked you and then just stopped talking to you lol.

*****chris l/frankie -- level 1. again i cringe at how dramatic i pursued yall sorta as crushes but for sure bc yall were soulcycle and about fitness YES bodies 10/10 and you understood soul. but omg chris pls get ur life together (which is what it seems like ur doing??) and frankie well you’ve been having your life together being married and all so0o0o0 im trash for crushing lmao BUT IM GLAD THATS ALL IN THE PAST AND THAT WE’VE FORGOTTEN i think lmao

rex -- level 0.5. lmfao you were dumb you’re gonna keep looking at me and emily only for me to make the move in letting you know i was interested, follow you on ig, and then you block me?? weirdo. bye.

MY HINGE BOYS </3 

Max -- level 3. oh maximus lmao. we talked for a whole month and what a pleasure it was to text you every day, receive and send memes, curate playlists, be w/ each other at different events... only for it to end after we netflix party/facetime where i don’t feel the kilig i’d feel when texting you. so i told you i wanted to be friends. and then i try to still reach out and be friends, but i got delayed responses to no responses. and now you just, look at my stories? lmao i know it don’t mean shit to look and you recently liked my post, but i feel like i invested a lot into our quarantine reality. you had GREAT music taste (even tho ur playlist was a lil questionable), for all i know you were just telling me things to like get you on my good side, motivated, privileged......... yeah. i hope you find your 5′0 qt rave queen that can go to events with u

KEVIN -- level 1. lmfao honestly you SUCK hahaha even with the benefit of the doubt, it does not take 10 hours to reply...even if you are busy at work NICK AND MAX WERE ABLE TO!!! you were spotty to begin with but then we netflix party and then you dont talk to me anymore after i ask if we could exchange music playlists? i didnt even ask u to be my boyfriend its a fucking playlist.... we talked about music so much. ugh BOYS ARE SO DUMB LIKE SERIOUSLY. hope amazon treats ya right

NICK -- level 4. ugh. ughguhgughgh. i liked you because your profile/resume was all my criteria: music taste A1 bc of bryson, i hated mint chip, i loved spongebob (even tho you NEVER sent me spongebob memes fuck u), you were hapa (he he but fuck u) (i laugh while typing this i am so dum), uhm. yeah. we talked everyday consistently for two weeks. you were such a joy to text bc you were funny (i was funny too), even tho it was hard to keep the convo going w you at times in the beginning because you never inquired about me at times. max did. its like you were better than mars, but not like A+ in replying like max was. you never really flirted with me? lmao i mean even those attempts of me tryna bait you, i always got... friend vibes. benefit of the doubt maybe you just didn’t know how to flirt but you had posts of your past relationship up on your feed so you cant tell me that that exp did not have you pursue a girl and flirt her up. to me, there was no initiative from you. i was chasing you for sure. this dating life is a two way street -- life doesn’t work where one pursues you only otherwise like no. bet if i went the fuckboi approach, gave you lame responds would you have kept the convo going? prolly not bc ur a cancer and want to feel needed. the only thing ill commend you on is when you’d apologize for delays in text messages but then you kinda stopped that. like understand i should also feel like i should be pursued and never did i feel that i felt like you just responded just to respond... like you’re a cancer its in your nature to dive deep and ask deep questions but you never did, you were the type to play video games with your pals LMAO and like/????/? me understanding gamer life i was like YES this boy gets me but like CMON. lol so many things. ok maybe i am reading too into this but this is the freshest heartache :/ you never like told me i was cute or anything like... max made remarks about my looks and you never did. i mean cool maybe you were just vibing off my energy but i just now question if you were actually interested in me? bc i was trying so hard to make you like me. every meme, was a move. you didnt play your cards right!! its like i kept hitting you with plus fours, and then all you’d put down is the same color number card. where was the fun in that? it was super effortless but anxiety filling for me at the same time bc i was convinced that you were the one. :’/ super good news to hear that you wanted to meet virtually literally NO EXPECTATIONS but then monday rolls around, you dont text me the whole day, i check in at 530, you tell me you go to costco instead and want to reschedule bc you thought i was ghosting you????? wtf did u just like expect me to just call u right at 7 and expect u to be ready?? max texted me after work and was like “we still on right?” so i was high key expecting that from you bc 1. show interest and 2. take initiative but you DIDN’T!! so i was honest in telling you how i felt but kept it light and asked to reschedule. you take forever to reply, but when you do you tell me it was silly OF ME to think you were supposed to confirm it which i get i initiated it i shoulda texted you earlier (but what if i had the worst day ever and couldn’t text you??? would you have just let it be and not text me anymore bc you assumed i ghosted you???) you also said that you thought maybe it was too quick to assume that i ghosted you which is YES tru. however i was not going to apologize for not texting you earlier and waiting for you to reply bc boy, that was on you to make a move to double check. if i was in your shoes i woulda texted. that would indicate to me that oh wow this boy is making sure we are meeting and confirming! even drop a hey hows your day you excited for tonight? i made it obvious to hype you up on your photos and everything, you just were like wow your photos are so good! wow i hope you posted that picture! like idk. i kept it light bc i still really wanted to meet you, and just wanted to attribute this small ass thing as a misunderstanding between the two of us but after long hours of making me wait, you decide you don’t want to reschedule because you were unsure of how you were feeling and that you couldn't put your all in and said sorry. no sentiment towards wanting to be friends just a straight goodbye which basically meant, in harsher terms im prolly not as down as you are for me and maybe i am nervous to meet u (idk ill never know if you were) anddd im not interested anymore bc you’re crazy and ME being the womyn that i am ended up being the mature one and said the goodbye hope you have a good life without me text and then our lovestory ended lololol what a great two weeks am i right? honestly maybe you still need to do some growing buddy but relationships are not easy going they are a two way street but also ill never know maybe you were just texting me just to text me and you still wanted to be the nice guy bc you were scared of how invested things would be post call so you call it off and it was just in the moment for you to be down but then have it change on another day.... i woke up in a better headpsace today about how this turned out but like god fucking dammit i had high hopes for you you infj CANCER. *squidward voice* so thanks. thanks for NOTHING (this is when you start your spongebob dialogue of all how to get everyone on board for practicing for the bubble bowl and sing sweet victory)

so, the end LOL basically. to all the boys who will never love me, ultimately thank you for being a part of my life. thank you srsly. thank you for making me exp the pain, the kilig, the uh everything. growing pains these are, but at the end of the day, i hope you have a good life. whether or not we cross paths again this gives me clarity as to what i’m looking for and what i deserve. this goalgetting, resilient, funny, hardworking, awkward but in the best way pinay is a force to be reckoned with!!! she has the best support system out there!!! she has so much to live for because she is determined to not let down anyone counting on her!!!! so fuck u for missing out on that!!!

k. my ideal man list is coming soon. until then... see ya later.

xoxo,

Mika (allison to some)

[offical-potato]

Y’all interested in the crazy shit that happened to me today? Ugh imma vent below

Okay so backstory...I have a 9am class so I leave for school at 8:30 and eat a piece of toast in the car. After my 9-11am class I have to rush to my other class that starts at 11:10 that for some reason today my crazy art teacher had us meet somewhere different idk man not super important to the story. however, what is important is that I’m not really hungry until later in the day and so my stupid ass doesn’t really have a real meal until I get home.

So my 11:10am class is going on and I have a small snack but mostly I’m hyped up on earl grey tea and an iced mocha that I downed in the first 30 minutes of class. Now I realize that lots of caffeine+little food is bad but normally I’m fine and this isn’t really important until later in the story so remember that for later.

Alrighty to normally my 11am class gets out at 2pm but today my teacher decided we were done at like 1:30 so that was chill. So I’m leaving to drive home and I’m chillin in the car. Basically there is this one main road where I live that’s super busy and the lanes are tight. ALSO I’m a fairly new driver and I will admit not the best one... so I’m on this fucking main road and driving the semi-old SUV (its a total mom car lol) and I HIT THE FUCKING CURB GOING 30 MPH AND MY FUCKING TIRE GOES OUT.

Now okay listen here kids, if you get a flat you should turn off the road and slowly stop and check what’s up.

So that was I did. I turned off onto one of the side roads and there a big fucking hole in my back right tire. UGH I KNOW... so being the awesome fucking (semi) grown ass woman I am I look up how to put on a spare tire to get this shit started.

Side note: I was in the most butch outfit and I was living for it! I had blue jeans, a studded belt, a normal white tee that I tied into a crop top, and a flannel tied around my waist because it’s hot and I’ve gotta get those layers in the morning! Also I recently got a buzzcut and have 7 piercings...

Back to my story... so I’m now trying to find the fucking spare tire which is crazy and hidden. You’ve gotta take a plastic part off just to get to the jack kit like this shit is H-I-D-D-E-N! So when’s I find the jack kit I need to use some of those tools to loosen another thing to get the spare which btw is under the car suspended with some chain stuff. it’s an elaborate setup. Protip if your gonna take someone’s hubcaps Infiniti’s will be hard to take they’ve got some crazy shit.

Okay so this spare drops but it won’t come all the way out from under the car and by this time my dad gets here to help because I’ve never done this shit before. So he’s helping and we eventually...with much effort.... get the ruined tire off and spare on! Wooo I felt so accomplished like I helped with this shit and got that spare out from it’s crazy ducking hiding space like that shit was not easy.

But potato you ask? This surely must be where the story ends? NOPE HONEY I WISH!

I get home and I live on a hill so second tip kids, if you are parking downhill you need to turn your tires into the curb Incase it slides down. So I do this but my dad said I’m to close to the curb and need to move it alway.

This is fine I can do this. BUT THIS MOTHERFUCKING CAR LIKES TO FALL DOWN EVEN THO I PUT MY FUCKING FOOT ON THE BRAKE AND WENT STRAIGHT TO THE GAS IN R SO I CAN BACK UP LIKE DAMN KIDS THIS IS HARD SHIT.

I HIT THE CAR IN FRONT OF MY AND BOY OH BOY IM CUSSING UP A STORM. like at this point I’m close to crying because as I stated earlier, I haven’t had any real food! I just spend sm time changing my flat! And I’m tired!

Thank fuck tho the car in front of my had a soft rack thing so there WASNT ANY DAMAGE!!!! I swear there are little things in life that make me happy and I was so glad. I was shaking at that point and so done. Idk what I would’ve done if there was damage. Also don’t tell me neighbor I hit their car....

Y’all don’t know how grateful I was that there wasn’t any damage to their car. Like omf.

Moral of the story: I need to eat more food and drink less caffeine ALSO I’m a boss ass bitch so don’t fuck with me

#potato speaks #long post #woohee #story time bitches #sorry for all the swearing #actually im not reallt sorry #infiniti #CARZZZZ #Y’ALL THIS WAS A CRAZY DAY AND NOW IM EATING SALAD

[ohstylesno]

If it's not a too much personal topic for you, how was your university journey? You finished in time? And, if you had bad/highly stressful moments, how did you cope with them? (I'm sorry if it's not well written, still studying English:))

I was unsure of what I wanted to study. I’ve never been one of those people that knew they were going to be a doctor or a lawyer or whatever. But I was going back and forth between something in media and nursing/medical school. I ended up choosing nursing school, cause I’d had a summer job as a nursing assistant for a couple of years. I went for one year, but during this time I didn’t like my school, nor my classmates.. I took most of my exams but when it came to the last one, I literally showed up, wrote my name or sorry??? and left lol. I was so done. I remember talking to one of my teachers about being unsure, etc.. and she said “You’re a lioness, you’ll pull through, just hang in there” (I distinctly remember her calling me a lioness haha) But she didn’t convince me.. I knew it wasn’t for me. I still ended giving it one more shot tho. (Stupid decision) but maybe it would get better if I changed schools, I thought, so I ended up switching schools to a higher ranked one - and it WAS a better experience all in all. But still, after a month or so I had come to the conclusion that being a nurse wasn’t what I truly wanted to be, so what the fuck was I doing wasting my time.... So I left. After that, I worked for a couple of years, while figuring out what the next plan was. I wanted to go for a media related bachelor this time, and applied for a bachelor in media and communication and I knew from day one that I had found my path. I loved those three years and man, they went by so fast! The whole bachelor was a breeze. So yeah, my tip - if you’re not happy and you have the privilege to switch lanes - then do so. I’m so glad I quit nursing, I’ve never regretted that decision. And even though I ended up graduating later than I wanted - it was worth it. Now I work for a great company, my bachelor was useful and it also gave me lifelong friends 💘

#sorry if the grammar and structure is a mess #typing this on the phone while watching tv with my grandparents lol #💘

[joanna-lannister]

we already know you ship jxc but maybe tell us why and some of your feelings? fav scenes or aspects to their relationship?

Hi Nonnie!

To be honest, I wasn't sure if your message was an accusation because you were the anon whose sent me the cersei x euron ask and you ship it or if you simply ship Jaime x Cersei and were curious why I ship it too lol. I'm always cautious when I receive that kind of ask ahah and sorry for the late reply, I've spent too much time writing it.

So here I go!

First of all, I think this is the most important ship in the show I mostly speak about the show because I haven't read all the books yet with Ned x Cat (I could add Rh*egar x Lyanna but I don't ship it). Without them, no story because no war of the five Kings. And by that, I don't mean ''Cersei wanted their bastard(s) on the throne''. No, I mean people like Littlefinger (or Varys, Stannis and Renly to some extent) found the evidence of their dirty little secret and used it to start a war for their own profit. Littlefinger comploted with Lysa Arryn to kill her husband and then let the Starks believe that the Lannisters were responsibles of that murder.And Jaime pushing Bran out of that window to protect them lead that spark. Without that defining moment, Cat wouldn't have tried to search proofs in the tower, wouldn't have gone to King's Landing to warn Ned, wouldn't have kidnapped Tyrion and hurt Tywin's pride, Ned wouldn't have found Jon Arryn's researches and confontred Cersei about Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen being bastards, etc.Littlefinger said "Chaos is ladder." and he was right, this relationship lead to the actual chaos in Westeros. You remove it from the equation and you lost a big part of the story. I wish some people could see that.

This is something they both want. People will say : "But this is unhealthy!!! Well sure, Jan but this is Game is Thrones ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ What do you expect? Even then, shipping something doesn't mean accepting everything they do and frankly, unlike some people like to believe, it goes both ways with these two. So yeah, this is something they both want, they said countless time they love each others. Hell, even Jaime told this to Edmure and said he can laugh at it if he wants to, like "eat it, bitch !". Jaime wants to marry her, he's angry when she refuses and jealous af. It's worse in the books but we can see it during the season 7 with Euron. And he's ready to give her another child after Joffrey's death (I wanted by the way making a gifset with this quote and when Cersei tells him she's pregnant with baby!Lannister in the S7 but I forgot because I'm a dumb bitch... 🙄). As for Cersei, she choose love over the kingdom, she choose to have her children with the man who made her feel safe, not her abusive husband, Jaime gives her the little agency she can have. This is terribly human...

Forbidden love! I'm such a slut for this trope and honestly, Romeo and Juliet are pretty boring next to Jaime and Cersei. Well, I remember back when I watched The Borgias and I shipped (and I still do!)  Cesare and Lucrezia, I used to feel so ashamed for shipping them but now, I don't care. Yeah, I love this trope and shipping is supposed to be fun. Give me two persons who romantically love each others but aren't supposed too, hello the angst! I'm on board! After all; We don't choose whom we love.

Time. They spend their lifetime together! This is another trope I love. They are born together and they are obsessed by it. My romantic ass can't help but loving long-term relationship. They can't see themselves without the other (if this phrase makes sense) and it makes me laugh when people say "Jaime is so over Cersei ass" sorry but hello? They lived for 42 years together, have been involved for almost 30 years romantically, had 3 (almost 4) children together and you except him to forget her just like that? LMAO

I think I could add more reasons but this is really the first ones that pop into my mind and if I keep going, I will never finish...

As for my favorite scenes :

The Reunion in S3: This is by far my fave! The look on their faces OMG... especially Cersei, she looks like she can't breathe. No words needed or big love declaration, simply their faces. That's what I call good acting. Oh, I remember this fanart, where they fall into each others arms, it was so pretty! I felt robbed after seeing that. But I don't remember the author. 😭

The Morning After in 7x03: I know most of the fans hated this season but theses scenes were pure bliss for me and I was ready to take every crumbs I could have. And oh God, this scene looked like I wrote it myself. And the maid... I want her face when she saw Jaime in the bed on my grave, I will never be over this!

The Moment After Cersei Told Tywin The Truth in 4x10: Well, it was pretty hot!

The Hug in 1x03: Same as the one above. And I think Jaime's quote sums up their relationship : And if he does, I'll kill him. Him, Ned Stark, the King... the whole bloody lot of them, until you and I are the only people left in this world.

That Scene Just After Jaime Came Back with Myrcella in 6x01: Cersei is devasted by Myrcella's death, she's depressed and it breaks my heart everytime. 😭 And at the same time, it's a beautiful scene but yeah, I always end up in tears.

And so many more! I could also talk about the moments when they are apart and think/talk about the other. Theses little clues people barely notice. Like Cersei, talking to Sansa saying Jaime was with her during Joffrey's birth, or saying to Tyrion she wonder what Jaime is doing, worried, or saying to I-don't-remember-who he's not been forgotten, or just before they reunite, when she's looking at the shell, I can't stop thinking this is a reminiscence of their childhood at Casterly Rock (I know someone else wrote that too not so long ago). Or Jaime, saying to Jory Cassel (I think) that Robert is humiliating her by whoring in front of everyone, or when Roose Bolton tell him that Stannis attacked King's Landing but he failed and that Cersei is safe, Jaime fell on his knees, everyone think it's because of the loss of his hand and he's exhausted by the trip but he's simply relieved that Cersei is alive. All these little things...Yes.

There is one micro moment from the books I would have loved to see on my screen tho, that kiss Ned catched during the Hand's tourney. He see Jaime kissing a woman and we all know it's Cersei disguised, but not Ned. It's short but I really love that moment.

I wish GRRM could write a book only about them to be honest, at this point. There is so many possibilities and I have so many headcanons. This isn't nice George, make a girl happy! I also think there relationship is more toxic in the books than in the show and they freaking need to talk! And my stupid romantic ass also want them to have a happy ending sometimes, I can't help myself, even if I know it's not gonna happen. Oh, and I also think their fate will be slightly different in the show but I could be wrong.

Yeah, I really love them. I have to admit that sometimes, it really piss me off to see how people treat them, the double standards they instaured between these two make me want to gouge my eyes out and I'm disgusted by the fact they want them to f*ck someone else, especially while Cersei is pregnant. 🙄 But at least, I stay in my lane.

Honestly I could add other stuffs, I want to but like I said I will never finish this post otherwise... But here's my opinion. 😊

Have a nice day! ❤️

#well it's almost 3 full pages on word #i'm sorry nonnie i hope you don't mind #anon #answered #marie speaks about got #jaime x cersei #otp : a dynasty for us

[ncbodyknows]

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s just Shino’s gay ass.

So, this is the second time I get to celebrate the anniversary of this group and man, a lot has happened since last time. One year ago I was but a wee mun in the masses of rookies, a mere two month old RPer in this community. I didn’t know where to start or where to end back then, and frankly I wasn’t even sure if I would be able to stick around due to my notorious habit of muse hopping and getting tired of my characters after a short time. But will this setting ever allow me to become tired? I don’t think so. So much happens all the time and I feel so attached to my characters that I can’t even imagine myself without them right now. Back then I had literally just apped Youngjae here, and I had this to say about him:

“As for Youngjae, he’s still so much of a mess. Muse wise he’s older than Jinwoo, but his character is going to take a lot longer to settle into the mindset of the setting. He’s rude, blunt and selfish, and such a mess of contradicting emotions and I hate him no I don’t I love him but don’t tell him that. I’m so glad that he’s been so well received despite not exactly being the perfect fit for the group’s setting. Will he ever be able to become a rookie? I don’t know the answer to that yet, but I can’t wait to see him develop as a person and a character.”

It’s incredibly interesting to look back and see how it is because although he’s still a mess, I think I’ve come so far with his character development that I can’t help but feel emotional about it. I recently did a poll on my twitter about which of my rk boys people liked the best, and Youngjae won by quite a bit much to my surprise considering how problematic he can be. He’s probably not everyone’s cup of tea, and I apologise for that, but he is my baby nonetheless and I love him with my whole heart. He’s growing to become one of my favourite muses of all time and although he’s still rude, blunt, and selfish, he’s also a person who tries his hardest for the things he wants even when he might not know he want them. He’s caring in his own way for the people he cares about. He’s thirsty for acknowledgement, and honestly I’m amazed that I’m standing here a year later with both him and Jinwoo signed although let’s be real this boy is just a scandal waiting to happen.

Youngjae is not the only one who has gone through development, although I feel as though it’s been slower for Jinwoo, partly because I’m slow as a mun, partly because I’ve spent the past few months in an rp slump after moving to Japan and being stressed af, and partly because this bastard Youngjae is hogging all my attention. But he’s slowly breaking out of his shell and slowly gaining more confidence in himself, and most importantly he wants to become someone newer trainees at KT can look up to for advice and motivation. He just wants to help those who might need it like he himself was helped when first getting signed.

A thing that has changed since a year ago though is that I now have a third boy to pay attention to as well. Sanha started as Daehwi but eventually became the person he is now due to my struggles with the other faceclaim. He is my baby boy although he wants to be more adult than he actually is. He is my hyperactive mess of a muse who does before he thinks, and I can’t wait to get to develop him more as time progresses and Youngjae chooses to shut up so I can pay attention to my other boys.

As I did last year, I want to give some special mentions and words to people who have really made my stay here amazing and who I’m glad I got to know. I’m going to cut it down to a few people or I might end up talking forever, but here’s a general thank you to everyone who has interacted with me in these past 1 year and 2 months I’ve been a part of Rookies. And if we haven’t interacted yet... *Finger guns* Hmu.

@moonbokrk Shizuka, you’re honestly one of the most fantastic people in the world and I’m so happy you decided to join me in this place. I can’t even remember how long we’ve known each other by now but it’s been many amazing years and I love you so much. Thanks for always being there for me and making my days amazing.

@jacksonxrk Wassup loser? Did you know that I love you? Like so incredibly much? You were one of the first people who appeared in my ims back when I first joined and I was honestly so relieved that I managed to click with you so well as a fellow Astro rper. You made me feel welcome and have in the meanwhile become one of my best friends like whoa I’m so platonically gay for you

@yutark Of course you get a spot on this list as well <3 I care about you a lot and honestly I’m so glad I hit you up for plotting because our threads are some of the ones that mean the most to me and inspire me the most to develop especially Youngjae but also Jinwoo. I swear that my boys would never be where they are today if not for you and your boys. Youngjae says Yuta can go rot in a pit tho.

@yienrk You’re the only solo mention I actually haven’t interacted with IC lol but honestly I’m so glad that I managed to beat my social anxiety and go talk to you because man are you a Good Person. I love losing my shit over our boys with you and it’s just? So amazing to have someone to talk to who appreciates them just as much. And is a sweet hecking person on top of that. And lets me be salty af when I want to get it out. Can’t wait to get to interact with Yien one day <3

rk astro chat @rkdongmin & @rkmbin & @rkpmh Tali got a double mention wtf stay in your lane FIRST THING FIRST man has it been fun to watch you two grow your love from Astro over this past time we’ve known and been talking to each other Tali you don’t count you were already hooked from the start but I had to include you in this section because you’re also an mvp. I just love how much these boys have captured your hearts, it’s so soft and pure and it makes me happy. I love the weird shenanigans our group chat always seems to be up to and there’s honestly never a dull moment. You guys are true mvps *finger guns*

KT Boyz @rksunwoo & @rkjohnny & @aronrk & @minhyukxrk & @rkgray & @taeminrk I KNOW THERE ARE MORE OF YOU SORRY BUT I HAVEN’T REALLY INTERACTED WITH Y’ALL YET SO *finger guns* let’s. You guys get a special mention here because you’ve honestly been taking such good care of me and Jinwoo. When he first got signed I was still so new that everything was incredibly overwhelming to both he and I, but you made me feel so welcome and helped me out with a lot of things both ic and ooc and I’m very thakful for that.

New gen Sphere Boyz @rkseokwoo & @rkjeon & @suhork I honestly can’t wait to get started on our shenanigans and get closer to y’all and your muses because i’m so excited for what’s in store for our boys. This can turn into something beautiful, and, I mean, if anything goes wrong we can always have Seokwoo go naked for the lulz

Other special mentions go to @rkxminhee & @rkseonho & @rksomi & @rkdonghyun & @rkmxrk being rad ass mofos who have also made me feel welcome ESPECIALLY JEN LIKE CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS BAD BITCH LET ME STAY IN HER APARTMENT MAN I MISS HER AND HER CATS let’s go swan boating again uwu

I probably forgot at least one person and I’m very sorry if I did but I’m running on not a lot of sleep and I’m sick af just know you’re all amazing and stay cool

I’m out

#rkfifth #.author {{ ooc }} #This is... wild

[mvssmallow]

Cloudy With A Chance

Chapter 29 Part II: …of swimming pools

Masterlist

Everyone tells them that she has his dimples and eyes but every time he looks at her face, all he can see is Jiwon’s toothy smile and cheeky smirk. They paint her room pale blue but her shoes are always red, like the shade of shiny ripe apples.

****

He tells himself, time after time, not to take anything for granted. And he doesn’t. Not Jiwon’s undivided attention, or how he always asks for advice (as if there weren’t more qualified people in his life to give them), or texts and phone calls about nothing. On top of that list is waking up next to that familiar warm body with all it’s reassuring weight, living and breathing beside him.

He knows that soon enough, in the not too distant future, all these things will fade and become few and far between. He knows it’s coming, like stormclouds on the horizon. But you can’t get on top of the mountain without shedding a few things. Sacrifices and compromises will have to be made and if he has to be the one doing most of that, so be it.

I guess that’s what you get for being in love with someone so amazing.

It’s so easy to love Jiwon in his mind and in his heart but it’s still difficult to say it out loud, he doesn’t pretend that it’s getting easier as the months go by, because it doesn’t. If anything, it’s even worse because the stakes keep getting higher and higher.

Love is for crazy people. Crazy brave people. He doesn’t want to admit that it’s hard but it is. Acknowledging all their feelings makes everything real. To accept that he’s in love is to accept that he’s now got a weakness and responsibility. To be attached to someone is to leave yourself vulnerable to the possibility that they might one day leave. But it’s all or nothing, he can’t have all the good parts without accepting the bad. Love takes all kinds of courage. There’s no bravery in being alone, there’s just survival, which isn’t the same thing. Before Jiwon, he’s pretty sure he wasn’t living at all, just merely surviving.

Maybe Jiwon’s trip to Japan wasn’t such a bad thing. He can get used to being alone again and wean himself off needing Jiwon so much. Not that he wants to admit that either but one day, he won’t get to decide anymore. He won’t be in control of their lives and wanting Jiwon won’t be as easy as just reaching out across some crumpled sheets and wordlessly demanding it. At some point, he won’t be the most important thing in Jiwon’s life and he’ll have to wait for the sun to shine his way, like everyone else.

Right on cue, as if Jiwon heard him waking up, a text message buzzes on his phone.

[morning baby, its freezing here! its gonna be sunny in sk tho]

[thnx for packing the coat, wearin it now]

Yeah, he’s going to miss this so much one day, especially being called baby. Nobody has ever called him that before. He hates it; how much he loves hearing it. Yes, call me baby. I am your baby.

[hey, you’re welcome. How are you feeling? How’s the hangover?]

[im ok. headache tho]

[did you take the tablets I packed?]

[yeah i did, thanks]

[wish i was there with you]

[you are]

[what?]

[took you with me]

There’s a photo that loads on his screen. It’s all the layers of clothes on Jiwon’s chest: a pink t-shirt underneath a familiar gray hoody underneath that caramel coloured coat that they both share.

He knows what Jiwon’s doing, the implication and explanation coming in a photo because he can’t articulate it in a text message. It fills him with so much fondness that his chest constricts violently and he can feels the start of a tear in the corner of his eye. How are you supposed to respond to something like that?

[great, now what am I supposed to wear?]

[lol idk go naked]

[south korea isn’t ready for that]

[haha! you can practice when i come back, ok?]

[you wish]

[i do actually]

[shut up Jiwon]

[lol, i gotta go. Jin’s glaring at me]

[Good Luck with your meeting]

[Thanks baby. Love you.  xj]

[You too. xxh]

[have a good day]

[go to your meeting, you loser]

[say something nice at least]

[ok, how’s this: I’ll be thinking of you and I hope something good happens to you today.]

[yeah, not bad, whatever. talk to you later]

[JIWON!]

[lol jk jk. I miss you. Have a good day baby, do something crazy]

He can’t stop smiling after that. What would Murakami write about him right now? Laying naked in bed with the sun streaming through his curtains, smiling like an idiot at his ceiling. Is this what contentment feels like?

He reads Jiwon’s last message again and scrolls through all the photos that Jiwon has sent him from Japan. He scrolls so far back that he lands on a photo of his little sister, holding her ballet trophy proudly. He hasn’t seen her in a long time, too long really, and no matter what he does, there’s no ignoring the guilt.

His self esteem is managable at best and diabolical at it’s worst. He doesn’t want to be one of those guys who constantly waxes lyrical about love but in all honesty, it really does heal a lot of things, some that he didn’t even know were broken in the first place. Jiwon’s love is no ordinary love though, it must be the extra-strength-triple-fortified-eternally-lasting kind because it gives him courage at times when he has none.

His sister is still smiling at him through his phone screen and before he really knows what he’s doing, his fingers have already hit the dial button.

“Hanbin?”

“Hi mum.”

Yeah, love might give you courage but it takes a crazy kind of courage to get involved with it in the first place.

****

He fingers the soft gray fabric of Hanbin’s hoody and tries not to feel completely underdressed in the room full of slick designer rappers. Clothes don’t mean shit. He knows that but there’s no escaping Jin’s sigh when he climbs into the car and the fact that he looks like the odd one out.

Doc McKinney was surrounded by a crowd 3 people deep. The meeting is over in an anti-climatic ten minutes. Everyone wanted to meet the famous american producer and on the hierarchy of importance, he was right at the bottom. He might be known in Seoul’s underground rap scene but here, he was just another fish in an even bigger ocean. He’s not entirely sure why Beatbox wanted him to go because Doc Mckinney doesn’t even know who he is but at least they could speak English and ended up talking about Bob Marley. That was something.

He’s standing at one of the big windows afterwards, trying to take a photo of the Tokyo skyline to send home, thinking of how much he wants to take Hanbin here one day.

“Korean?”

He turns to his left to see a tall thin man with long black hair, a straggly beard and thick glasses. He doesn’t remember meeting him but there’s something in that voice that he recognises. The stranger doesn’t even look at him, preferring just to stare out the window.

“Yes?” He replies, both curious and cautious.

“Get dressed in the dark this morning, kid?”

He looks down at his outfit and yeah, okay, he really did get dressed in the dark this morning. It doesn’t stop him from feeling defensive about Hanbin’s grey hoodie and their caramel coloured coat. Who does this guy think he is?

“Excuse me? I don’t-”

There’s a quite snort next to him. “Relax. You look fine. Stood out like a sore thumb though didn’t you? In that sea of Supreme? Couldn’t tell one guy from the other.”  

“Oh, I guess?”

“What’s with all the pink? Your girlfriend dress you? ”

He smiles at his reflection in the glass window. “Yeah, something like that.”

“What company you with?”

“Beatbox.”

“Ahh, Jin. He’s been looking for his Neo all these years. I’m surprised he didn’t dress you up himself.” The guy chuckles. “Must have a lot of faith in you to bring you all the way here for a pointless trip.”

He’s just about protest when the guy turns to face him with a pensive look on his face. “They treating you alright? You gotta watch out for these big companies.”

Whatever he was about to say gets swallowed back down, his mouth opening and closing comically to the point where he gets laughed at again. He doesn’t have much of a temper but there are time where it grates on his nerves a little too much. But even then, he wasn’t raised by wolves, his mother did teach him some manners and he doesn’t want to let Hanbin down by burning any bridges.

“Yeah, things have been good so far.” He kicks himself, unsure what the protocol is when a stranger asks him about Beatbox. This was one thing that Jin hadn’t finish coaching him on. “I haven’t released anything yet though.”

There’s another laugh followed by the shake of a head. “Yeah, he’s really putting all his money and reputation on you, huh? Smart guy though. Indie company mentality with corporate company ambitions and money. Just don’t let them blindside you guys.”

He’s seen those eyes before, the watery thoughtfulness that always looks like it’s watching and reading you the entire time. And that voice…..he knows that voice. Why can’t he place it?

“Sorry, have we met?”

The guy shrugs. “Doubt it, kid. What’s your name?”

“Jiwon.”

“That your rap name?”

“No…no, it’s Bobby.”

“Of course it is.” The guy smiles but doesn’t bother to introduce himself. “How are you liking Japan?”

This entire conversation was like a car driving in and out of traffic; constantly changing lanes, veering sharp lefts and abrupt rights. He has no idea where it’s going or what the agenda is. It’s almost like talking to Hanbin.

And just like that, his focus shifts back to South Korea, where it’s sunny, and to that pokey little apartment, where there’s a sleepy neurotic writer still tangled in their sheets. His fingers come up to absentmindedly smooth over the soft fabric of his coat.

“It’s really nice. Kind of a waste to be here for business in some ways.” He laughs. “Wish the person who dressed me was here.”

“Ahhh.” The Guy says quietly, like he understands the context. Maybe he does. “Well. Work hard. Write often. Learn everything, especially when to shut up. Don’t let anybody change the part of you that makes you you. That’s always the first thing they’ll try to do. But I got a good feeling about you, kid. Put in the work and maybe next time you’re here, you can bring that girl of yours.”

He wants to correct the assumption but there’s someone calling him.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you, kid. I’ll see you around.”

There’s a brief pat on his back before the Guy disappears through the sea of Supreme again.

Jin eventually catches up with him. “Who were you talking to?”

“I have no idea.” He says earnestly. He really had no idea and maybe he just hallucinated some kind of rap yoda. God, he needs either caffeine or sleep.

No such luck. Jin has him sitting through another meeting with a smaller company this time and as tired as he is, he hears the words of Rap Yoda and Hanbin echoing in his ears. He doesn’t really want to be there but he’s going to act like he does. Hanbin would probably find out if he’s slacking off and kick his ass when he gets back home.

So he turns on the charm, laying it so thick that no-one will ever forget that they met him. Jin and the team seem happy, so he guesses he’s doing something right. They eat at some barbecue joint that serves ice cold Asahi. He wants to avoid more alcohol but chicken without beer is like Jiwon without Hanbin and that just goes against the laws of the Universe.

Everywhere they walk is just another place he wants to show Hanbin one day. The tiny hedgehog cafe (with real live hedgehogs!). The waffle shop that makes dog shaped desserts. The toy store with a life sized Rilakuma at the entrance. The endless bookstores with original Murakami and scrolls of beautiful traditional brush calligraphy on the walls. The parks lined with cherry blossom trees and ivy.

He takes photos of everything and sends them all to Hanbin’s phone.

****

He feels like a stranger knocking on the dark red door and he feels like it was a lifetime ago that he used to live here. They were a happy family once, so he knows it’s possible but he doesn’t know if they will ever be like that again. Some wounds are just too deep.

But there was always his sister. She has nothing to do with all their mess and deserves some kind of normalcy. And it’s really that thought that drove him here today. Maybe his relationship with his parents will never go back to normal but at least he still has his sister.

“HANBIN!!” He hears her before he sees her and for all her ballerina’s grace, she has the tendency to crash into him at 100kph and hang off his neck like she was still 5 years old. He’s glad that hasn’t changed.

“Hey Peanut.” He smiles, half breathless by the tiny monster truck that just crashed into him. “Missed me?”

Hanbyul lets go and grimaces, her words directly contradicting her actions. “No.”

“Yeah sure.” He chuckles and flicks one of her ponytails. “Did mum tell you why I’m here?”

“She just said you were visiting.” Hanbyul says, eyes inquisitive but with a shade of melancholy that shouldn’t be natural at her age. “Are you visiting? Are they still mad at you?”

He sighs inwardly, telling himself to keep it together. When he spoke to his mother this morning, the request was simple: he just wanted to take his sister out for the day. But like everything that seems to happen in their family, a simple request can turn into a drama production.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m gonna go talk to them for a bit. I’m come get you after okay?”

She’s 9 years old now but when he leaves her standing in their hallway, she still looks like the toddler that he remembers following him around everywhere.

He doesn’t have to search very far for his parents, they’re both in the kitchen table when he walks in, his mum pouring tea (like he was some kind of guest) and his dad sitting at the table with a grave look on his face (like someone died).

“Hi. Mum…..dad….” He greets them awkwardly.

“Hanbin, come in. Sit sit.” At least his mum was trying to be kind. He feels a surge of love for her then and doesn’t know why he ever doubted her support. “Are you hungry? I know you want to go out for lunch but well, you aunt brought over some cake so here, have some cake.”

He nods absentmindedly, flashing her a small smile even though he really wasn’t in the mood for cake. He can see the strain on her face but she’s trying and so should he. “Thanks mum.”

The clock ticks too loudly as they just sit and stare at the grains of wood on the dinner table. His dad clears his throat eventually and they all hold their breath.

“So, how are you?”

Stay calm, Hanbin. You can do this.

“I’m fine, dad. How have you been?”

“Oh you know, the blood pressure is no good. Dr. Park has got me on too many medications. Something about my risk of a heart attack and decreasing my salt intake. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Part of him expected this, the overly mundane conversation, and part of him is relieved that they weren’t shouting at each other from the moment he set foot in the house.

“He’s a good doctor.” He says, trying to keep the facade going. “He doesn’t really think you’re going to have a heart attack does he?”

His dad snorts derisively. “ He’s just trying to scare me. He wants me to cut out soy sauce but this is Korea, what a ridiculous request.”

“Are you taking the medication at least?”

“Oh god, not you too.” His dad sighs loudly. “First your mother and now you? For the record, yes I am taking my medications.”

There’s a long silent pause and he knows what’s on all their minds but doesn’t know how how to start talking about it.

“How’s work?”

“We’re on holidays at the moment but it’s been great.”

“You know, there’ll always be a job at my company if you want it. It’ll be a pay rise, if you ever want to move out of that shoebox you live in.”

He frowns again, fingernails digging into his palms under the table. There will never be a time where his dad isn’t disappointed in him.

Keep it together, Hanbin. Think of Hanbyul. This isn’t about you.

“I’m fine where I am. I’m getting help with the rent now anyway.”

His words, and all its implications, hang in the air between them. They all want to talk about Jiwon so they might as well just get it over with.

“Is that still…..” His dad trails off, pausing for a beat before finishing his sentence. “How is that going?”

He hears it, the strain in his dad’s voice, the way he almost had to force the words out in some kind of neutral civil tone. That must be his mother’s influence. He knows they both really want to ask, “Is it still going?”

“It’s going great.” He says, looking at the dense chocolate cake his mum pushes towards him and avoiding any other eye contact. “He’s in Japan right now.”

“Japan? What for?”

Does he want to do this now? Start telling Jiwon’s life story to a man who might never accept them? But if not now, then when?

“For work. He’s um….he got a record deal. He’s a musician. He’s over there for some business meetings.” They can all hear the shakiness in his voice but nobody mentions it, so there was at least that.

“Oh.” His dad says. “Your mother said he worked in that garage downtown. Since when was he a musician?”

He looks up in surprise, first to his mum, who gives him an encouraging smile, then slowly to his dad, who is wearing a genuinely shocked expression.

“He’s always been one. He just got signed recently.”

There’s another long heavy pause and then all pretend to eat the cake that nobody has an appetite for.

“Did you read the contract?” His dad asks suddenly, eyes now serious and focused, like he must be in all his business meetings. “Before he signed it, did you read it?”

He almost feels like smirking, if his dad wanted to talk business, then they will talk business. It’s the one topic where they have some common ground. “Of course I did.”

“What company did he sign with?”

“Beatbox. It’s a new subsidiary of Globalkore.”

“Which law firm is representing them?”

“Lee & Ko.”

His dad hums in what he knows is approval. It gives him emotional whiplash.

“Did you have to re-negotiate any terms?”

“Only a few. We got them all. It wasn’t really that hard.”

He eats more of the cake, finally able to swallow some of it down. He can see his dad’s mouth opening with hesitation before closing again with resignation. Being good at business and law is one thing but wanting to make a career out of it is an entirely different thing. They’ve had The Family Business conversation so many times over the years. It always begins with his dad disappointed by his refusal to put that business-law degree into effect. It always ends with him storming out of the house, shouting about how art isn’t a worthless pursuit.

They’re all shocked when the conversation veers off somewhere else altogether.

“Is he pulling his weight? Helping you out? You’re not doing everything are you?”

He looks across at his dad, surprised that they were back to talking about Jiwon. It’s been some time since he’s really stopped and looked at his parents and their lives. His dad works hard at a job that carries more high stakes and stress than one person should be mentally permitted to. He’s not perfect, he’s hurt everyone in the family with his blunt words and careless actions but right now, there’s just a weary father with too many deeps lines on his face, worried about blood pressure tablets and his son’s future.

Something melts inside him. It’s not forgiveness, not even close, but it’s a small step in the right direction.

“Yeah dad, he’s helping out.”

There’s a crash outside the kitchen that makes them all jump. Hanbyul’s ponytails swing into view, along with the pot plant she tripped over. Their mum is up in a flash, sighing and gently scolding as she dusts the soil off Hanbyul’s jeans and leads her off into the bathroom to wash her hands.

“That’s your cue to go.” His dad says, getting up to help with the cleaning. “Have her back before dinner.”

He’s nodding and is just about to bend down to help when his dad waves him away. “No, I’ll take care of this. Go entertain her, she’s been bored of us for weeks now.”

“Okay. Um, thanks dad.” He says, feeling every bit like a child again.

“We haven’t told her anything about your….situation. If you insist on going through with all that, just think about what you say and who might end up hearing about it, not just for your sake but for everyone else’s too.”

Part of him wants to automatically snap back. Of course he knows all this. Of course he’ll be cautious. But he keeps his mouth shut and just nods again. It’s longest conversation they’ve probably had in 6 months that didn’t end in a some kind of argument or shouting match. It’s unsettling and foreign and he’s almost forgotten how to deal with it but sometimes you have to take a few hits in order to win the war.

“Come on Hanbin! I want to go to the pet store!” Hanbyul is tugging at his sleeve impatiently and he only has a brief moment with this mum on the way out.

“Thank you.” He whispers.

“For what?” She smiles mysteriously.

He pulls out of the driveway feeling off-balanced in a good way (if there was such a thing). There are more questions than answers and he still doesn’t know where his dad stands on the topic of Jiwon but at least they were all talking and his sister seems to be doing okay. So for now, that’s enough.

****

“What were you talking about with mum and dad?” Hanbyul asks over lunch. “Why did you look so serious?”

“They’re just worried about my life. That’s what parents do.” He says with a smile. She is even more inquisitive than he ever was at this age. “They’ll worry about you too, when you decide to grow up.”

She scowls at him with the fury only a 9 year old girl can generate. “I’m not a baby!”

He reaches over to pull her hair away from her face so it doesn’t get stuck in her food. “Nah, you’re always gonna be a baby peanut. Better get used to it.”

Hanbyul glowers a few more times before suddenly deciding that it just wasn’t worth the energy to get upset. Kids these days.

“So they’re not mad anymore?”

“I think mum’s okay. Dad’s just tired, you know. I don’t think they’re as mad as they were before, there’s just some adult things we need to figure out right now.” He kicks himself immediately as soon as he gets the words out because his sister pounces on them without missing a beat.

“Like what? What things?”

He sighs. He is never going to come out of this conversation alive. His sister had concentrated Kim genes- all the tenacious charm of their mum mixed with all the cunning intelligence of their dad. It’s a potent combination in a tiny 9 yo human.

“Like my job and my apartment. Stuff like that. It’s boring. You don’t want to hear about it.”

She wipes her mouth daintily and stares lasers at him. “Do you have a girlfriend that’s a boy?”

He’s so taken aback that he can only laugh. “What?! Where did you hear that?”

“My friend Mina said that her brother has a girlfriend that’s a boy because some people have girlfriends who are girls and some people have girlfriends who are boys. So do you have a girlfriend that’s a boy?”

Kids these days.

“That is the weirdest question.” He says, shaking his head. “You know that having a girlfriend whose a boy is just like having a boyfriend right? It’s the same thing. Some people like boys and some people like girls and some people like both.”

He kicks himself again. His parents will kill him for introducing their innocent daughter to the idea of bisexuality. He might as well start digging his own grave now.

“I know that Hanbin!” Hanbyul says, rolling her eyes condescendingly. She’s just a baby, when did she learn to roll her eyes? And where the hell did she learn about bisexual dating?!

“How do you know? Who told you that?”

“Mina’s brother picks her up from ballet and sometimes there’s a boy and sometimes there’s a girl with him. And Miss Lee said that some of the famous ballet dancers are like that and it doesn’t make them bad or weird. Oh! Do you know Tiler, Hanbin? She’s my favourite dancer! Mum let me watch her videos on Youtube, she’s the best.”

He just shakes his head. This whole time, he was agonising over how to explain to his sister that he was gay and in 10 minutes, she’s already explained the concept back to him.

“No, I haven’t heard of her. You need to show me one day.” He reaches across to tuck more wayward strands of hair away from her face. “Does it bother you that some of your favourite dancers like boys or girls?”

Hanbyul shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s weird sometimes.”

He knew it wasn’t going to be all smooth sailing. Maybe his sister understands that more than one type of couple exists but beyond that is harder to come to terms with.

“Why’s it weird?”

“Because it’s weird!” She says, exasperated by her 9 yo brain’s inability to articulate its own thoughts.

“What if it was me? Would you think it’s weird?”

She looks at him with wide eyes for a moment but slowly shakes her head. “I don’t think you’re weird.”

“Well, good. You shouldn’t hate people or tease them because of who they like, okay? You wouldn’t want someone hating you for liking ballet and Tiler right?”

She’s nodding her head but too fixated on her food and chopsticks so he doesn’t really know how much sinks in but this is enough for one day. There’s no point ruining their day together with social politics, there’ll be plenty of time for that when she’s older.

****

Jin finally releases him at 5:30pm.

He goes straight to the hotel room and falls face first onto the bed. There’s the temptation to just crawl under the sheet and sleep but he knows it’ll mean waking up in the middle of the night because he’s missed dinner.

Hanbin hasn’t replied to any of his photo messages, which makes him irrationally worried even though he knows there’s probably a good reason for it.

To distract himself, he decides to check out the rooftop pool in the hotel. It’s dinner time for most guest and he’s relieved to find the 25 metre pool empty.  It’s an indoor pool but encased by glass windows so you can see everything outside, including the evening sky.

After attempts at some hard and fast laps, he’s too exhausted to do much more than just float on his back and stare out the glass ceiling. The sky was violet, it reminds him of the colour of the sky on his birthday. It wasn’t the first birthday he’s had with a boyfriend but it was the first birthday where he was given a gift that meant something.

He still can’t get over the mixtapes. Nobody has ever made him anything like that before. Teenage confession letters were one thing but four mixtapes with handwritten tracklists were another thing altogether. 1 hour per tape equals four hours of music and probably days or weeks of thoughts and consideration on Hanbin’s part. That’s his favourite present. It wasn’t so much about the tapes themselves or the songs on them, it was really the knowledge that Hanbin sat down and put so much effort into something just for his birthday. It hits him in the gut when he thinks about it and lyrics start forming in his head as he floats in the warm water.

Locked with your thoughts I’m swimming With u right here I’m swimming With no-one else I’m swimming Wanna be with u

He eats dinner with the windows wide open so he can stare at the glittering night lights of Tokyo and listen to the ‘Before Sunset’ tape at the same time. The sky was dark indigo now and even though Hanbin was still not replying, he sends a photo of the night skyline anyway.

He recognises the song through his headphones, it’s something he remembers hearing somewhere before. Maybe when he was younger, when his family was still in America and they had long hot summers down the West Coast with the radio playing in the car. He lets the nostalgia wash over him, wondering how the hell Hanbin managed to find a song that incapsulated his childhood without even being there.

He’s playing with the little cardboard insert in the cassette case when he sees something written on the inside of the spine.

“I’m not good with words, so I’m using this to tell you instead.”

He wants to laugh because he’s read Hanbin’s articles and knows a talent when he sees one but on the other hand, Hanbin has always had trouble saying what he means and meaning what he says. Some people are better writing words and some are better verbalising them. Hanbin is the former and he himself is definitely the latter.

And right on cue, as if Hanbin heard his thoughts, there’s a message that buzzes on his phone.

[Hey sorry, had a big day. How did it go over there?!]

[Gonna look at all the photos in bed later]

[its was ok, we got along but it was only a quick 10 min thing. Hallucinated a Rap Yoda tho]

[what?]

[was takng a photo to show u and this dude just starts talkn to me like yoda in the sw movies]

[who was he?]

[IDK! super weird]

[That is weird. How’s the headache, feeling better?]

[yeah its fine. how was ur day? do anythng crazy?]

[Actually….yes]

[omg what]

[Talked to my dad]

He stares at the words for a full 5 seconds before attempting to think of a reply. With his chest thumping, he dials Hanbin’s number instead.

“Hey.”

“Don’t ‘hey’ me! What happened?!” He nearly shouts down the line.

“Tell me about your day first?”

“Fuck no. Yours is more important!”

“Jiwon….” Hanbin was using his Responsible Adult Voice.

“Hanbin….” He echoes in his own serious voice.

There’s a sigh from the other end. “Okay, fine. Well, I was in a good mood this morning so I rang mum to ask her if I could take Hanbyul out for lunch and she said I had to come over and talk to dad about it because they probably think I’m going to introduce her to being gay or something. Anyway,  I went over and we talked and nobody punched anyone in the face. So it was a pretty good day.”

There’s a pause then but Hanbin stays silent.

“And then what?” He asks impatiently. “Did he say anything about us? Or me?”

“He offered me a job again but mostly he wanted to know about your contract with Beatbox. He was worried about us not reading fine print and signing a dodgy deal. It’s a business school thing.” Hanbin says, almost distractedly.

“Babe?”

“Yeah?”

“You told him about my contract?”

There’s a quiet intake of air before Hanbin speaks again. “Shit. Did you not want me to? I’m sorry Jiwon! I just thought that-”

“No, it’s fine! I don’t care that you told him. It’s just, why would he be interested in that? Last time you all talked, there was shouting and they stormed out.”

“Yeah I know.” Hanbin says wearily. “I think mum got to him. Wore him down as usual. I didn’t ask her to do that but I think she did it anyway.”

“So, are they just okay with us now?”

His heart jumps with hope but he’s been in these situations before, with equally homophobic parents, and he knows that false hope is the cruelest of them all.

“I wouldn’t go that far. I don’t know what my dad thinks. They’re both trying and that’s all I can honestly say right now.” Hanbin finishes earnestly. “Hanbyul seems okay though, thank God. At least they haven’t messed her up too badly yet.”

“Oh yeah? That’s good. I want to meet her one day.”

“I know. I want you to meet her too but….”

“…just not right now. It’s fine Hanbin. Don’t stress about it, it’ll happen when it happens.”

Hanbin hums a vague response and there’s another pause.

“So tell me about your day?”

He sits in the chair facing the big window and watches all the lights flicker over the city in the distance. Hanbin doesn’t even interrupt him, he’s known for awhile that Hanbin finds his voice soothing and he wonders if he was ever read to as a child.

He’s half way through describing the hedgehog cafe when his body gives up being in an upright position.

“Sorry babe, I need to get into bed, gonna crash soon.”

“It’s okay, me too. My chest is killing me. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“I’m coming back tomorrow.” He says with a tired laugh. “Why’s your chest killing you?”

“It’s nothing.” Hanbin says quickly. “I’ll let you go. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow? Your flight lands at 4pm right?”

“Yeah, I’ll call you.”

“Okay. You want me to hang up first?”

“Yeah.” He laughs quietly. “Night baby, love you.”

“I…..me too.” Hanbin says, only slightly tripping over the words. “See you tomorrow.”

His eyes are already half closed by the time he gets in bed but he doesn’t sleep straight away, instead he scribbles all the bits of lyrics that seem to flood his head all the sudden. He dreams of swimming pools, dimple smiles, violet skies and mixtapes. He can’t think of a title, that’ll just have to wait till morning.  

****

He hangs up first because Jiwon still can’t do that for some reason. His chest is aching but there’s something about the pain mixed with everything good that happened today that makes him itch to write it all down. His laptop glows into life but the words don’t look right on the sterile whiteness of the computer screen. Instead, he opens up the playlist he made for Jiwon and reaches for the notebook he jammed under the mattress all those months ago. 

It’s cold and smooth underneath his finger tips, the paper old and slightly yellowing with age. His favourite black pen still glides over it just like it used to. This feels better. It feels familiar. 

So he writes. 

Cloudy With A Chance: Chapter 0....

****

Soundtrack: Tiny Dancer -Elton John | Your Song -Lady Gaga (cover)

#if you got the swimming pool reference....i am VERY proud of you haha #Cloudy With A Chance #please play the music #Tiny Dancer is for two people #i always intended it to be for Jiwon but then it fit for her too haha #that Tiny Dancer video is amazing btw-it's very LA MOOD #a bit of a vague gifset but otherwise it'd be too spoilery #Double B #ikon #hanbin #jiwon #bobby #cwac

[jaeyooniverse]

🌹 anon!

Work was fine, except we had some severe thunderstorms here and when I got home around midnight there was no power. On the plus side, no power meant no lights so it was really dark and the fireflies were suuuper pretty!

I haven't watched anything else with Seo Inguk, but now I feel like I have to because he's so good! I don't think I've seen most of the dramas you mentioned, are they worth picking up? I really should keep a list of what I've seen, it would make things so much easier. The only thing I have is my watched list on viki but that's only for the dramas they have haha.

I have a lot of nostalgia for Boys Over Flowers bc I watched it when I was like....16ish? So it was right in my lane at the time haha. I couldn't rewatch the whole thing now though, I don't think it's aged very well tbh. 😅 The King: Eternal Monarch came out last year starring LMH and I really liked it, Woo Dohwan was SO good in his roles, I recommend the show just for him. 😆

Must You Go was cute, it just fell into some of the same problems I've seen a lot of mini series like that have. My favorite recent mini series is Color Rush, it has its flaws too but loved it. I reeeally want a second season, even though it'll probably never happen.

My problem with all the content is like....there's so much to catch up on, but inevitably I always end up on a tangent watching funny compilation videos people make instead of the original content haha.

Also I appreciate multiple paragraphs of rambling bc I'm the same. 😂

😊🌹

oh man is the power back now?? glad work was fine tho ^^ and omg yes fireflies are sooo pretty i love seeing them on my way home from work.

the drama i watched with Inguk was The Smile has Left Your Eyes(i originally watched it for Park Sungwoong...when I tell you I LOVE this man skhkshsv) I feel like his character in that is kinda similar? Very mysterious, emotionally challenged,, that sort of thing 💀 I remember enjoying it a lot i kinda wanna rewatch it.. it's a bit of a murder mystery/investigation drama with of course the touch of romance lol if that sounds like your cup of tea id say go for it!

Handmade Love is cute and touching the main character helps comfort people through tailoring (hence, handmade) it's on youtube, a really quick watch it probably takes abt 2 hrs to watch the whole thing! I enjoyed it 🥰

Hospital Playlist is even more touching I really enjoyed it im a sucker for close friends and family stories and just sentimental moments in general 😅 but I guess that's why I like kdramas in the first place haha

i mean you could always keep a note on your phone or like a handwritten note to keep track of everything lol but I like mydramalist since it keeps track of what you've watched, what you're currently watching, and what you plan to watch. it even helps you keep track of which episode you're on. people also post reviews and stuff but I don't do all that 😅

ahaha maybe thats it, it didn't age well 😂 I do remember feeling like I would've been all for it if I tried watching it years ago, or if it was one of the first kdramas i watched. Ooh I remember seeing he was in Eternal Monarch i think I added that to my watch list 😂 was the show itself good tho? I saw a review saying it was boring and just a bunch of product placement skgkshksh

Ohhh i totally forgot about Color Rush a lot of my mutuals watched it since Hyunjoon was starring in it! I should add that to my list before I forget 😂😂 im glad to hear it's good!

I mean no pressure there's no rush to watch everything just watch what you can/want to. those compilation vids are nice you can just watch all the funny parts 😂😂

haha okay im glad you don't mind the paragraphs 😁❤❤

#asks #🌹 anon

[katnissandmoley]

if you’re here - look, we survived

hey moley :) 

wow. the last time this blog was active was 2016... I had forgotten all about this platform (we have been so, so busy) until tumblr sent me an email notification asking if I wanted to keep our handle. Of course - I decided for us yes and it took me on a trip down memory lane.

2016 and before was truly such a difficult period for both of us then. I was in such a bad place without even realising how far deep down I was and you must have been struggling along with me too. Looking back I wish to tell our younger selves that hey, look we survived. We made it out and we are in a better place. We’ve grown and things aren’t all that bad at all. In fact, we probably are living a life that we had pretty much envisioned as a young, idealistic couple. We’re still clingy to each other tho we have slowed down (both in bed and other activities lol), and are both living rather quiet, busy lives chasing our respective and combined dreams. It’s work, gym, sleep and chill man. It’s a good kind of busy cause we are working towards something. 

Anyway yeah fast forward and it’s 2021 - a year into the Covid-19 pandemic and we are both embarking into an early stage of our careers and adulthood. We have graduated university and we both landed jobs that are fields that we both are passionate about (Katniss is an associate psychologist at SOS; Moley a data analyst at GIC). We are still BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND (will update here when our status upgrades hmph) of this moment and we are about to collect keys to our very first apartment so very soon. Our lives have been infiltrated by (exciting) conversations about IDs, our wedding, kids, and whatnot. I remember how in the past we would always write to each other about this very stage in life or future at present that we couldn’t wait to embark on with each other. Now that we’re here, we should really try to immerse ourselves in the present and enjoy the moment than spend it worrying about the future or questioning our decisions of the past. “Damn we should’ve gotten a cheaper resale or flat, should’ve planned an earlier proposal...” These are traps and pitfalls that we so very often let ourselves fall into that spurs so much unnecessary disappointment or micro-unhappiness that I often get myself into. I’m learning to let go and fully embrace the here and now and also the unknown of what’s to come. I’m truly sorry for projecting a lot of my own anxiety and insecurities on you sometimes. At the end of the day I know that all that matters is that we love each other and we have each other to hold. 

Uni days were tough and stressful, and while we seem to be treading less choppy waves for now, we have been facing many other stresses and struggles. For me this moment - the challenge of getting into a postgrad program in order to move forward with my career and having to deal with inevitable setbacks and failures as part of my journey tires me out. Despite how jaded and worn out I feel in this process, I keep going and I choose to have hope that I will find a way somehow. The next month for me is incredibly crucial as I take on Dclin interviews and face whatever outcome while juggling my full time job... However in persepective, back as a uni student, landing an assoc psych role was an absolute dream (still with the doctorate at the back of my mind). Over the years as I fought for each opportunity this dream seems to feel closer and closer and less out of reach than before. I truly hope that this is what’s in store for me. I will draw strength from my past along with your presence and keep going. 

For you I’m guessing what’s on your mind now is probably also work and the upcoming interview process with the UK hedgefund. All this effort just for a shot at building a life together in the UK. I am grateful for your willingness to accommodate and compromise, but I hope this is a direction that you want and see for yourself as well. Don’t you think a short stint in London together sounds so perfect? The fact that this could be a reality for us feels... almost too good to be true - but then again, why not? We deserve good things and we’ve both worked hard. I really wonder where we will be just few months from now, let alone another 5 years later. Will we be engaged or already married? Will our home be featured on buildbuilt or houseofchais? Will I be spending a weekend walking around Tate museum arm in arm with you? 

Speaking of which other than work I’m almost certain that you’re also worrying about the proposal and making it a memorable event for the both of us! I am very much excited for whatever it is and of course to finally flex that ring on my finger to show that I’m taken. Please, have faith in me and have faith in yourself that the proposal is absolutely going to be beautiful and cherished regardless of what happens (i’m honestly sure of it). I can’t wait. 

I’m deeply glad and thankful that I’m able to look forward to life in this moment unlike 6 years ago when there seemed to be no light out of that tunnel I was in (other than you, akin to a flickering flame in the tunnel, soon to be burnt out haha). Like our conversation just a couple days ago, I truly believe that we have such a short life (we’re lucky we found each other so early on) we should live fully. Put ourselves out there, keep trying in the face of failure, enjoy both the fine and little things and never limit ourselves to our own imagined boundaries that so often hold us back. 

All the best to both of us. I just know that the universe is on our side. :) 

Love you so much. 

Katniss  

30/03/2021 11:39pm