#They don't give a fuck that u lost ur memories

[unitedstates0fdakota]

Electrochemistry in Disco Elysium is so funny cuz it is literally this image

#disco elysium #harry du bois #like straight up #electrochemistry is not helpful at all bro wants to party and that's it #They don't give a fuck that u lost ur memories #in fact go lose more of them dude let's get trashed #Volition is in charge of kicking his ass

[urauntiefaye]

Can u also do losing ur virginity/first time with bnd legal line ?? 🫠

First Time With BoyNextDoor Legal Line 🌸🔞

CW: SMUT, mention of female anatomy, cussing on my end, virginity loss, ummm mentions of nicknames, thats all I can think of, let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: this …this did things to me I didn't know could 

WC: 624

Content under the line!

Jaehyun: losing your virginity with Jaehyun would be so goofy. And I mean that as in he would try to calm your nerves down by making silly little jokes. He wants your first time to a good memory, honestly he might also be losing his to you as well but he won't tell you in fear he'll make you even more worried and scared. His big puppy dog eyes that are filled with so much love are always on your face scanning to see if there's any feelings of discomfort. But trust me he is just as nervous as you and is trying so hard not to cum too quick 😔. 

Sungho: FOREPLAY FOREPLAY FOREPLAY FOREPLAY, have I mentioned foreplay?. Man's is already a lover of foreplay, he finds it essential for sex. He will start off giving you nice back massage leading to him massaging and playing with your tits, then it'll lead him to softly fingering you 😭😔 need him I swear. I also feel like Sungho definitely will not actually have sex with you until you've cum at least twice either it be with his fingers or his mouth. He just wants to make sure his baby is all ready for his big cock. Sungho will praise you, saying stuff like “you're doing so well babydoll”, and “that's right, taking my dick so well~” will call you beautiful and everything

Riwoo: wants you to ride him, now this is because he is actually very scared of hurting you or possibly getting caught up in the act. So he wants you to take the lead first, so that you're more comfortable and going at your pace. He will struggle to not crumble and fuck up into you know you're a virgin. But the way you whine about how big he is and how you can barely take him is sending him into overdrive. He'll rub your side and try to distract himself by grabbing your ass or tits. He can't help it, he's very sensitive and having a goddess above him talk about how big his dick is? Sheesh he really might just bust right there. 

Taesan: Ah yes, Taesan, when this man found out you were a virgin he had a set mission! Now he won't ever force you into anything. But that won't stop him from trying to seduce you and have you crawling to him begging him to pop your cherry okay. The stares, the lingering touches, the subtle whisper. UGH, he makes it so hard. And when you do go to him you bet your sweet little ass he will tease you. He acts all mean and everything but as soon as it comes to the actual thing he will be gentle and soft with you, but with a bit of teasing here and there but he'll try to make it as comfortable for you as he can. Just don't expect him to act this way all the time during spicy time.

Leehan: He panicked. I won't lie, man is PANICKING, he's already lost his but it was to someone who was already experienced. He's never been with someone who has never had experience. But ohoh, does it unlock something dark inside of him. Leehan finally discovered he had a corruption kink and he honestly kind of loved the idea that no one has ever touched you before. He felt a little special, he'll try to be gentle he really will, and he'll be great at first! But then the dark inner Dom would appear and the degrading mixed with praise would start to leak out-. Please he's trying but you make it so hard with how cute you look all innocent and out of breath underneath him. 

#auntiefaye🧚🏻‍♀️ #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor hard thoughts #boynextdoor smut #boynextdoor hard hours #myung jaehyun smut #riwoo smut #sungho smut #taesan smut #leehan smut

[remersgf]

i must to say you have been absolutely KILLING it with all of your fics lately and i have loved them all !! BUT ! in the one where the reader is drunk and remer takes care of her you mentioned that remer babies her even when he’s drunk too and that thought hasn’t left my head since 🫣. i was wondering if you would be down to write one where this time it’s remer who’s drunk but he’s still trying to baby/take care of the reader even though he needs it more than she does. i feel like he’d do it even if you weren’t nearly as drunk as him or hadn’t even been drinking that night 😭. but if that’s too similar to the last one no worries!! keep up the great work!! 💕💕💕

ur the sweetest i loved writing this!!! thank u anon 💌

doug remer x (implied)fem!reader

500 words

cw: alcohol, being drunk, remer pretends to be misogynistic for a sec LMAO

enjoy!

"are we here?"

remer held your hand, trailing behind you in the dark as you searched for the spare key in your purse. when you finally found it, you smiled at the fond memory of him giving it to you when you first started dating

"uh-huh, we're here." you sigh, fidgeting with your key and eventually unlocking the door.

"i should be the one opening the door for you... makes m'feel emasculated..."

"'ehhhmascilated'?" you turn and laugh, letting remer walk inside past you.

"hey... is that any way to talk to your husband... your devilishly handsome one, for that matter?"

"so we're married now?"

"sure... fuckit all," he mumbled and stumbled to the couch, collapsing onto it once he was within reach.

you locked the door behind you, checking your appearance in the dark windows. after wiping the flaking mascara from your eyes, you glanced over to make sure remer wasn't doing something stupid. he wasn't, surprisingly. he laid on his stomach on the couch and buried his face in the cushions. he probably couldn't get up if he tried.

when he heard you getting closer, he turned his head to face you with a frown, "babyyy... come here. you look so sad, let me hold you pleeeaase."

"i don't look sad! you're making things up."

"no i'mmnottt..."

you laughed at his heavy tongue, causing his words to blend together into a jumbled, hilarious mess.

"okay, doug. let me get you some water."

"noooo, come cuddle..." his weak attempt to argue with you failed as he trailed off onto some quiet tangent to himself.

when you returned with a tall glass of water, you almost thought he had fallen asleep. but as you got closer, you found he was just mumbling to himself with his eyes closed.

"what are you doing?" you asked.

"quentin tarantino pisses me off..."

"i know, honey."

you sat down beside him, rubbing his back and offering sips of water (which he denied every time you asked).

"lemme hold you..."

"can you drink some water first?" gently nudging him to hydrate.

"water is a boy's drink. get me a beer, woman!" he demanded sarcastically, putting on his angry redneck persona which (unfortunately) popped out every time he got too fucked up.

"shut up, drink the water." scooching the glass closer to his face.

he furrowed his brows at you before sitting up slightly and accepting it. he drank reluctantly but ended up chugging half the glass.

"can we spoon now?" he asked gently, looking hopelessly lost and desperate.

"yeah, baby. we can spoon."

you maneuvered your body so your back was pressed against remer's chest, still clad in your too-tight dress. he nestled his face into your neck, wrapping his arms around your waist to secure you next to him. he murmured something in your ear before letting himself doze off with you in his arms.

"goodnight, doug," whispering to the unconscious idiot behind you.

#doug remer #doug remer x reader #baseketball #baseketball fanfiction #matt stone

[kylejsugarman]

Hiya Syd :) soooo when Jesse starts acting as a parent to Baby does his love for her ever manifest as a new understanding and horrible guilt over what he put his parents through? Does he lay awake at night thinking about how he would feel if he didn’t know if Baby was dead or alive? Does he want to call them so badly even if he doesn’t especially want to talk to them, just to put their minds at ease?

don't ":)" me before putting this in my inbox, u little demon. before i beat u with clubs and sticks, i have to say that the answer to all of these questions is "yes". because at first, jesse is so intensely focused on protecting his new identity and not arousing anyone's suspicion that it's easy some days to like completely displace himself from his roots. he has flashbacks and thinks A Lot about the more recent events of his "old" life, but it's easy for the earlier stuff to trickle out as he cuts ties and almost forget that like. he was a son. fuck, technically he IS a son, but james driscoll basically appeared out of thin air and that's who he is now, right??

but it seeps back in, slowly and painfully—the knowledge that even though he got to start over, his parents didn't. they have to keep living his old life for him. he loses track of baby in a store and even though he finds her just a few minutes later, that desperate, lightheaded panic keeps him up all night not just because it was so deeply and viscerally terrifying but because it wasn't her fault. she hadn't defied him or anything; they just got temporarily separated. but he had done it on purpose. as early as middle school. not coming home, not calling. then he started using and it became harder to come home because of the arguments and the yelling and sure, he didn't feel great then about getting high and leaving home, but he never thought about how it must've felt for his parents. he always just assumed they were glad that he was gone for a while. did his mom feel this way?? this awful panic like his heart was falling down an elevator shaft?? did she see news stories while he was unreachable about gang shootings and car crashes and think he was dead?? do his parents now look at his closed bedroom door and believe—with awful certainty—that he's dead and buried somewhere in the mexican desert??

not knowing then, but knowing now is just so exquisitely painful because in another life, jesse would have been able to come to this realization and talk to his parents about it. sure, it might've been awkward or painful, but it would have been Good and now he can't. he's stuck with this horrible guilt and there's nobody in the entire world he can share it with. he could call them (for all of the memories that've been beaten out of his head, his home phone number is still carved out clearly like the sketches he engraved into his high school chem desktop) and say Something, maybe even pretend to be someone else and give a vague "ur son is okay". but his situation is so precarious. what he has now is so precious, so impossibly rare. he sometimes childishly hopes that his parents just sort of Know that he's safe through some sort of parental intuition, but he understands now from experience that u can never really Know for certain. they'll never Know. and that's the worst part of all. because he got the relief of seeing a lost but unharmed baby at the end of the detergent aisle and rushing over to grab her, but his parents will never get that and he can never give it to them.

#angrylesbianstereotype #ask #syd squeaks #i hate u and am going to kill u ok?? #jesse pinkman #baby ayuluk

[fivveweeks]

Stumbled upon ur tragedy verdante thots.. do u have some more to spare my liege.. obsessed with verdante as a bus stop on the way of their respective journeys… also for this I’m assuming this is with og!dante being unknown to versillius? sigh hm anyway yeah really thinking! Abt requited but situation of it all .. just not being fit for it! Wowzies *takes a drag of ze blunt*

(opening my thesis paper) "a bus stop on the way of their respective journeys" and "requited love but the situation of it all is just not being fit for it" are both incredible ways to summarize my thoughts on verdante being a tragedy GAH

and actually! i do cook this with the idea that vergilius knew pre-clocked!dante and that at worst he either fucking despised them or at best his annoyed indifference towards them. then bam, current dante being SO different and actually is so compassionate and genuinely kind and he doesn't know what to do about it

bc how should he feel when someone you knew who was an asshole turned out to be so... nice. the knowledge that without the city grinding them down dante is actually so kind at their core. at the same time the tragedy of the kindness being torn out of pre-clocked!dante from that. does it count as taking advantage of them when they lost their memories from before? is it hypocritical of him to agree to their... arrangement with that in mind? he's so goddamn guilty about it lmao

don't get me wrong tho Vergilius isn't an asshole to dante for the sake of being mean. nah, if you think about it so far in canon he actually has never gotten pissed at dante before. even when he's threatening them at the start he's just doing his job to kickstart dante into reviving the sinners. and hell, his asshole level to dante afterwards is mostly like, sarcasm and his refusal to give dante any straight answers. he's mostly just an exhausted guy to me lmao

what i LOVE is exploring just how emotionally constipated they are (both of them) and their incapability to properly communicate without being cryptic yet at the same time they've agreed to a colleagues with benefits arrangement that sometimes is domestic if you squint. they're both so funny to me i want to beat them up so bad

#chatter #limbus company #verdante #this is the baseline of all my verdante btw everything else is just additional spices added depending on my mood #anyways they both never ever say i love u ever it's just not them verg especially is an actions over words guy to me

[yuukei-yikes]

REASONS TO LOVE SHINTARO AS A CHARACTER:

first of all; hes a gamer boy depicted as he really is and not what he thinks he is: a fucking loser who fails at every social situation and also stinks

aside from the jokes, i think he has two main songs in the whole series: toumei answer and lost time memory. im just gonna share lyrics from each song that makes me go INSANE thinking about him:

"The alarm that starts ringing/Says to my lonely self: you're a coldhearted fool" <- his guilt here is delicious to me like he blames himself for her death and yes he did act shitty and he abandoned her but he didnt do it out of malice he did it bc he didnt know how to approach her but he thinks he killed her and its also killing him OUGH

"The color of your hair/The shape of your smile/Someone might have already forgotten it" <- and then HES the one who forgets everything about ayano bc of the trauma like here he laments that her absence that has already changed his entire world might be this insignificant to someone else AND YET AND YET HIS MIND LOCKS HER OUT ITS JUST. OUGH

(NOT TO MENTION HIS FACIAL EXPRESSION WHEN HE SEES THE FLOWERS WHEN HE REALIZES WHEN HE SEES THE PAPER CRANE)

(get ready for lost time memory brainrot bc that kills me every fucking time its my fav song)

"Even after years, the shadow doesn't fade/It only invites more emotions." <- he doesnt remember but the absence is heavy on his mind it KILLS me

"If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward/I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead." <- self destructive EVEN in the good route where hes not as suicidal like being self deprecating is a huge part of his brain

"Feeling hazy, let's remain unaffected today too/And keep up yesterday's pace/So that I won't ever forget your warmth/If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then/I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from" <- GOING INSANE GOING FERAL hes SO FULL OF REGRET and hes SUCH A STUPID BITCH that his solution is to stay in his own head and live in his dreams (literally) like i want to hug him and i want to slap him

"A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again/While clinging on to your colorful smile" <- just imagining how route X shintaro is often colored with black and dull colors bc his world has lost the color OUGH

(god just. the ending part where he desperately reaches out to clutch ayano vs him moving on from the tragedy and the proud and tearful smile of ayano just HNNGGH HE REALLY GREW DIDNT HE)

(and who cant relate to wanting to change things bc u lost ur chance before but u cant change anything so u just disappear into ur head trying to either comfort urself by daydreaming or trying to find other stuff, try to forget ur will and wallow in passivity, its just so *chefs kiss*)

i get it hes not a very likable person and he does act shitty and bratty and the anime really doesnt give him the floor to change BUT!!! give him a chance and he WILL become ur poor little meow meow. guaranteed.

reply under read more cuz this should be its own post!! and also all i gotta say is YESSSS YEEEES YESSSSS shintaro is. such a good character and i also wanna cry my eyes out with EVERYTHING abt lost time memory.

he's just a stupid guy and the thing abt shintaro is that he will ALWAYS do what's right. he has a very strong sense of justice and he's very clear on his principles. and he will always speak up for others and stand up for what he thinks is right. and this like... a HILARIOUS virtue for a character who is ALSO so awkward, difficult to approach, bratty and self centered. like that's so funny.he is such a special little guy and HE IS AWESOME

he's so cringe fail and an asshole but he's also the hero and deserves praise for it. like cry about it. he is a good guy but he's also the worst. but also he's the best. hope that helps

he and ayano are such character foils... like.... both have this strong sense of justice and they're really really REALLY the damn heroes. hold on i need to cry a little

#ask tag #shintaro kisaragi

[melishade]

Hello! :D

I wanted to suggest a chapter for your AOP oneshots (Attack On Prime) fanfiction!

(You don't need to do this), but maybe Hanji presses Optimus about the war and he reluctantly agrees to tell her and some others.

Maybe during his explanation of how it started, what happened, and the losses they had, he started to break down. Reliving all the horrible memories of when he or others were so close to death was not fun.

Hanji cannot believe it. Optimus Prime, falling apart and shattering right in front of them.

-------

(Then, you can choose what happens next. If you decide to give it a go!)

I completely understand if you don't want to do this, but I would greatly appreciate it. :) luv u and ur fanfics!! Keep up the great work <3.

This is probably going to be a pretty long explanation because I want to get my thoughts out on this. But technically, I already did this.

The Attack on Prime Oneshots that I have on my Ao3 account are stories that I cannot fit in the main story, but they are still canon in the main story. The chapter 'Relief' happens between that gap period between the Wall Rose attack and the Coup, and centers around Levi washing Optimus' alt mode with the Prime's assistance. But by the end of it, Optimus is having a breakdown in front of Levi and Levi has to be the one to comfort him.

Despite TFP Optimus being quite closed off and reserved, it's clear that he does care. Optimus really decides to go and kill Megatron in season 1 because Rafael was on death's door. The Prime lost his shit when Bumblebee was gunned down right before his eyes. TFP Optimus can succumb to his anger, but a breakdown would be much more difficult to pull off. He has to really be pushed to it.

The only reason Optimus was even able to breakdown in this moment was because of recent events:

-The titans that he was fighting against for the past months were not monsters, but humans forced to become these monsters. -The Colossal and Armored Titan were not only children, but friends of the 104th regiment. And finally -Megatron, his rival and sworn enemy, is now on this planet and he has absolutely no idea where he stands with him. They never even got the chance to talk before Megatron left and Optimus returned to the core. And the two of them just have SO MUCH UNRESOLVED SHIT!

Optimus doesn't have his team, Cybertron or Earth, his support. They only have the resources available in the walls, and it's really garbage compared to Earth. And he has to fight against human children, people he swore to protect. All of this is causing Optimus to act out, and Levi has to get to the bottom of it because it's not just about him. It's about humanity and the Survey Corps' survival. And I'd like to think that Optimus wouldn't share information about his life unless he had to, and he didn't have to share anything about Megatron prior to his arrival simply because he wasn't there. He had no need to; it wasn't important to the survival of the walls. But now he's here, and Optimus has to talk.

And when Optimus breaks, when he shatters, it gives Levi so much more perspective about Optimus. Because the way that Optimus was presenting himself prior to this was someone who was calm and collected, but he was also someone who cared. But there was also this assumption that nothing could break him. He was providing so much support for others, being a guide for others to lean on, especially Eren. Optimus was much more effective in keeping Eren under control because Optimus was treating him like a teen who simply needs guidance.

Now Levi sees that Optimus is just as fucked up as the rest of them, if not more, because Optimus is finally talking about the guilt, the shame, the trauma. It's grief. It's pain. It hurts. And Levi is not fucking prepared to handle it at all.

So knowing this, and to your question, Levi would have to pull Hanji aside and straight up order her to not ask Optimus about the war. Because he knows how curious Hanji is, and when her curiosity and interests are peaked, sometimes she won't pick up on emotions or social-based cues.

"Don't ask him for fucking shit," Levi tells her, "And if you do, and he says no, drop it."

"But-!"

"Drop. it." Levi enunciates.

Levi also has to give this run down to the rest of the Survey Corps to not ask about war stories.

(Fun fact, I actually wrote this one shot back in 2014. I remember because I wrote this in a notebook that I still have when I went to Ethiopia for the second time. I was taking it with me everywhere.)

#asks #send me asks #attack on prime #transformers prime #attack on titan #optimus prime #levi ackerman #hanji zoe #crossover #ao3 #fanfic

[animallover-102]

If you're contemplating suicide, this is for u. This is for the moments, you're alone with emotion. So fucking bold, leaves you mentally frozen. When you're cold and alone, with your heart open and broken. When that love's out of site and your hearts into focus. When ur floating in oceans, hopelessly soaking in misery. Headphones on, u link yourself with the synergy. When u watch ur mind and ur lost in the song, be strong cuz u r not alone. I just want u to know, that u r not alone. There's angles in the airwaves tonight. And I've been running all of my life. And i need u to stay, i need u to save angles in the airwaves tonight. This is for all the moments when ur weakness is ur cloak. And the people u love most, just beat u to a pulp. When u cut open ur wrists looking for loving in slits, it find nothing but self hate cause nothing exists. This is for all the moments where they don't understand. And they ain't where u stand. And they can't comprehend. They just star at u from the inside, and they judge u from within. When they kick u and beat u, they hurt u then leave u laying on the ground, like ur half and they're equal. Gladly defeat then laugh to ur face. When u feel all alone, when ur so out of place. They can't relate to this pain, they don't feel how i feel. So don't get lost tonight. Never let the ignorance cost ur life. You can make it, just keep ur fingers crossed tonight. Put ur headphones on, and turn off the lights.

When the girl that u love, won't look in ur direction. And the guy u like, just adds u to his fucking collection. When ur all dressed in black, and they whisper and snicker. And they make u feel wrong, for being so different. It's for everybody who knows how it is, to feel like nothing but A memory that won't be relived. That distant fucking shit that everyone forgets. The words on the tip of tongues, that gets swallowed with the spit.

See, i know how it feels. I've been there before. I had my head in my hands, and my heart on the floor. I've been worthless and shattered. I've been nothing to people. I know what it is, to have to force then to see u.

For when u feel so invisible, ur not even sure u exist. So u cut yourself open, just to see it ur real. You numb yourself with drugs, just to hide what u feel. You drink the washed up pain, in hopes of rejecting it afterwards. You live everyday wishing you could rewind ur life backwards, because u wanna figure out where the fuck u went wrong. Cause everything in ur world, has not been right for so long.

I know how it feels. So this is for u.

If ur thinking it now, if ur wanting to die, if ur thinking it out....You are so much more than you are in this moment.

You never know how great you can be.

So please don't give up on you. I didn't give up on me. 😊💜💜💜

[gazingatmydoom]

i think i actually went through the five stages of grief just now finishing one shot. or. one sec

ok not all five but i definitely hit at least three, maybe four of them. counting. like. oneshot is a fucking amazing game but i'm also gonna talk about DEPRESSION AS WELL WHAMO

long vent post below the cut idm if u read it but it's super long lol so yeah

cos like. that was the most. mm. it was the most difficulty i've had making a descsion that i was involved in emotionally. ig the ending of oneshot was like pretty much 100% "how much do u care about this vs this" thing so like entirely emotionally charged but idk it had me yk. and i was sitting on the toilet taking a whizz as one does after condemning ur best friend catperson ever forever to an eternal life in a world they don't belong to. and i was thinking right, that's probably the saddest i've felt playing a game since i finished titanfall 2 in early 2020. estimating. might've been 2019 idk. and now i don't remember if i played any other particularly sad games between tf|2 and oneshot but i doubt i didn't and if i'm running on things i'm assuming about the depression i'm assuming i had (which i am) then memory loss was a big part of it. cos i god damned do not remember fuck shit ass from the past few years. and i was thinking hey MAYBE the reason i haven't been that sad about any game (in memory) is because i was simply too depressed to give a rats ass.

i mean there's one game ig which is hollow knight and i felt sad when i got the sealed siblings ending but. if i'm being honest alot of the strong emotions i had with that game felt very forced. that's one thing i can remember quite well actually and no i don't know why, but when i felt sad when i watched the siblings curl up and go back down to the bottom of the abyss, it felt like i was trying to push my heart down it didn't feel like it was sinking on it's own.

ok the more i'm talking about it the more i'm thinking i'm bullshitting but idk. idk! the idea that i had depression and quite possibly might still have it is takign over my mind everytime i react with alot of emotion to something. which is happening at an increased rate in the past few months, and has barely happened at all in the past three years.

it makes me think ig. like i got mad at niko and the author and the entity for making *me* make this decision, when in my opinion, it really should've been niko's to make. and i somehow thought niko was going to make it! i was so sure they would i was like ye ok niko ima break this to u and then i need u to sit and think about it and i need u to know i will support u no matter WHAT u choose it's ok and i love u. and then they're like "what should i do bestie?" AS IF THAT'S MY DECISION TO MAKE????? it caught me off guard yk and i didn't cry or scream or freak out but i'd be lying if i said it made me think and feel in ways that feel new or fresh, but not brand new just like ahh i forgot what this was like new. if i ever felt them at all.

i swear sometimes it does feel like the second i gained any ability to think somewhat for myself (which sounds stupid but trust me this was mid teens for me) i started spiralling. so idk yk. i lost where i was going with this uuuuhhhhhhhh. but who cares. this is a vent post(?) so it doesn't matter if i finish it. that word keeps coming up tho i don't wanna say it again. the depress. the deps. depths. dark souls. i keep thinking of it. it keeps coming back to me and bouncing around my head like "hey maybe *this* is why what ur feeling or thinking or doing rn feels super weird and alien to u" cos that feeling keeps coming back yk. i can feel it coming back less and less in past days tho and that's not to say i'm getting used to experiencing new things but it might be to say i'm sinking back down. not sure tho!

just added a read more link idk if it worked i've never used one before but it just struck me how long this post is now lmao and i don't wanna bother the two people who might see this.

but ye shit has been wild and by that i mean crazy and by that i mean i've begun feeling emotions again and it's been fucking me up to varying degrees! side not like dungeon meshi has made me cry everytime a new episode comes out i fucking like. like yes it's good but it's also me being passionate about something. the last thing i was passionate about i would say was hollow knight i used to cry all the time watching silksong trailers and listening to the bonebottom ost sample but i tell u when that was. that stopped happening around mid 2020. yo am i dating my depression rn. early to mid 2020 that must've been it that must've been the start. which makes sense cos i think that was also when i left college and therefore stopped going outside at all ever. i got a job about a year after but it was shit and i hated it and i cried at work so i quit. found a new one a month or so later and i'm still there today. they're good there and i like it. it's still the only reason i go out which i don't think is healthy but. it's something. i was invited out for activites earlier today and i said yes. that's another first in a long time that was the first yes i've given in fucking ages. i don't think i have anything to wear oh christ. i need to buy some clothes. god. ok getting into personal life more than personal feelings and that's not what i want to include on this blog. we talk about FEELINGS here not EVENTS.

but ye uh. ig to conclude depression (if i ever had it (i'm only saying that cos i was never officially diagnosed i'm like 99% sure it was there)) i forgot where this sentence was going. ig to conclude, depression. yeah. stay hydrated kids

#bwomp

[sashi-ya]

Sashiii i freaking love this mini event. May i please request: Law making you drink lots of water until your bladder is full and not letting you go to the bathroom, forcing you to let go on his lap. To make it even more harder he placed a vibrator inside of you with his cock and another on on ur clit and he is also pressing down on your bladder making you watch yourself fall apart in the mirror in front of you. In the end he gives u the most euphoric orgasm and piss you’ve ever experience in your life.

Hi baby!! this is a super interesting request! I tried to write as hot as I can so I really hope you like and enjoy it!! Thank you for requesting! 💖

😈💜Sashi's Dark Corner💜😈

NSFW ~ Trafalgar Law x F! Reader ~ Un...controllable.

tw: NSFW. Omorashi. Bladder control. Dom/sub. Usage of toys. Fucking in front of a mirror.

a/n: Urine is a sterile liquid, don't be gross out. But if you don't like, don't read, as simple as that.

wc: 2.2K

Like this event? masterlist ~

“Drink it all up, (Name)-ya” “But… I’m already full, Law” “Do I have to remind you you’ve lost your bet? Drink or I’ll force you to do so”

Your cheeks are on fire, you were so sure of your patient’s diagnosis you even bet your colleague about it. But you should’ve thought about it better… your competitor was no other than the best doctor you have ever met in your whole life; Dr. Trafalgar Law. And of course, to spice things up the things, Dr. Trafalgar Law is your lover…

“He has Mucosal Leishmaniasis, Law. The guy has been out of the country recently. I bet you I’m right” you tell him, so sure of your discovery. It was obvious, the guy has been working as a volunteer in a rural zone in Peru and has been bitten by bloodsucking insects there. There is no way that’s not Leishmaniasis. Plus have you seen his IgE count? And the eosinophilia? Come on, that’s a parasite.

But Law, who is more of the pathological diagnosis - besides surgery, he really loves the microscope- insisted this had nothing to do with an infectious disease. “That’s not Leishmaniasis, babe. That’s Wegener’s Granulomatosis, he has had this since forever. The IgE and the eosinophilia comes from his asthma record. But let’s play until we confirm there is not Leishmania on the fucking nasal secretions. What you wanna bet?”

“Ask whatever you want, because I know I’m right”

“Good, then you will comply to a fantasy I’ve always wanted to try but never told you about”

Deal…

The many tests to confirm your diagnosis came back negative, the IIF didn’t show the disgusting mini parasite, nor even the specific test they ran for Leishmania. And instead, there was no doubt under the microscope’s lens that Law was absolutely right… The histological diagnosis of the several biopsies showed it was, indeed, Granulomatosis…

His smirk grows bigger while reading out loud the results. As always, Law enjoys giving you a sexy side look to confirm your embarrassment and annoyance. “Told you” he sings in victory.

“Shut up, asshole”

The day went by pretty fast from then on, thankfully. Both were frankly exhausted and were hoping to get in bed as soon as possible. Of course you two -or at least you- forgot about the bet and work got you really busy to even think about it. But the night came and with it, the ending of the shift.

You enter Law’s office dragging yourself in as the last surgery had been exhausting. “Hi” you moan, throwing yourself to his lap. “Give me love, I’m tired” you purr, burying your face on his leg. “You want love? There is a bet you have to fulfil, don’t you remember?”

Suddenly the memory of him telling you his conditions for the bet comes to your mind… “a fantasy I’ve always wanted to try but never told you about”. At this point you could say you knew him fully, but apparently there is always one more secret with him…

“The hell you want me to do, baby?” you ask, sitting over his lap and passing your arms around his neck. “Heh…” he smirks, apparently what he wants to do excites him a lot more than anything before, and you can feel it under your thighs as he gets instantly hard. “Oh… OH, Law” you giggle, kissing his neck.

Law comes closer to your ear, grazing your cheek with his goatee. “Would you let me have full control of you, (Name)-ya?” he asks with a husky, low, sexy voice that makes you squirm in place.

“I’ll do anything you want, babe”.

“Good girl, let’s go home now. I can’t wait~”

As always before leaving the hospital, Law buys you two a tall cappuccino. But this time he specifically asked for a Venti under your name. “Why so big?” you ask, not worried, just curious. “You will have to drink it all, ok?” he says, smiling while fixing his grey crystalline eyes on the road ahead. “O-Ok” you accept, not taking it all too seriously, and rather imagining it is because he wants you to have more energy for what he has prepared.

As soon as you get home, you take your jacket off and run -try- to the bathroom, but Law won’t let you. He grabs your hand and snatches back. “Oi, babe. Gotta go to the bathroom, give me a sec” you tell him, amazed by how needy looked now.

“Did I tell you you can go?” he asks, frowning, squeezing your wrist with those tattooed fingers. “Well no, but… I wanna go to the bathroom. I will be back quickly, wait for me” you tell him, clueless. You are supposed to let him control you, but never imagine you had to ask for him to let you go pee.

“Then you don’t go” he states, a dark aura surrounding his intentions. “But… I’ve been holding it just to not go to the hospital’s bathroom! You know I prefer coming here” you protest, annoyed but sure he is simply acting like a dom. “You said yes to doing everything I say and letting me control you. You are not allowed to go to the toilet until I say so” he claims his dominance over you, and it is true you told him yes. But, this?

You sigh, feeling the stinging pressure of your bladder crying for help. The cappuccino didn’t help either, in fact it made it worse. Caffeine is known to make you even more desperate. “Fine… but hurry up, I’m peeing myself here” you moan, rolling back your eyes.

Law smirks and brings you closer to his body. He hugs you from behind, arms around your waist, his hard sex against the small of your back. “Are you? Heh, Interesting… Kitchen. now” he orders, with a subtle exhilarated trembling on his voice.

He lets go, and you follow his order. A mix in between discomfort and a heat growing on your core makes you a little dizzy. “So, here we are” you tell him, sitting quickly on one of your benches. To be able to hold your desperate need for a bath it is always better to sit down.

“Are you thirsty, (Name)-ya?” he asks, leaving his yellow backpack over the table. You look at him, even more confused than before. “Uhh… I want to…” you mumble, but you know it is inane to say so. You watch him pour a tall glass -those you two use to make smoothies every morning- and fill it up with cold water.

He puts the glass next to your elbow that’s resting on the breakfast table. “Go on, dig in” he orders. “But…” you protest because you would prefer not to fucking fill your bladder a single drop more. But you comply, you don’t really want Law to mock you by your lack of diagnosis skills.

It feels refreshing, but at the same time painful. Crossing your legs, you drink up until the last drop. “Done, can I go now?” you ask, humping over your seat. “You bet… you still have to drink more” he mumbles, serving you yet another cup of water.

“I’m gonna get water intoxicated, Law. You are a doctor you know we can’t abuse. I’m not thirsty anymore” you tell him, now serious and pressing your crotch with your hands.

He laughs, sadistically. A laugh you have rarely listened to from him, that both sends shivers down your spine and turns you… on? It is undeniable that Law being a dom gets you extremely aroused, but now he is playing with your… organs? Damn man, if he were to be a character in an anime series, he would be for sure that type of mad doctor that cuts and stitches limbs of animals to people… who are you dating?!

“Drink it all up, (Name)-ya”

“But… I’m already full, Law”

“Do I have to remind you you’ve lost your bet? Drink or I’ll force you to do so”

And yet indeed you comply, drinking a whole new full glass of liquids. You felt like exploding, if you dared to move chances are you would lose control of yourself right there. But Law, enjoying it way too much, decides that the next part of his games should be accomplished in your room. “Come on, let’s go” he says and lifts you up.

Law carries you in arms, and as he walks, he presses your belly down. “Look at the bulge! you have quite a good resistance huh?” he laughs, mocking you with your desperation. “WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT, LAW?” you ask, almost screaming at this point.

“Welcome to my hidden kink” he mumbles and puts you on the bed. “L-Law what the hell is this kink about?” you ask, feeling little leaks running through your legs. “I’m gonna ruin our bed, you idiot! Let me pass!” you cry, trying to walk to your bathroom but failing miserably.

Law has snatched you from your belly and now you are sitting over his lap. Your back over his chest, his hands around your waist. “Where do you think you are going?” he asks, kissing your neck. It is undeniable the way this whole situation despite being weird is making you aroused, hella aroused. It feels sensational and degrading, the pressure of your bladder on your core, the desperation, the way Law has full control of your physiological functions, the way he is getting hard to the point you can even see his pants get a little wet stain from precum.

“Please, Law. I’m desperate, I really need to pee. Let me go” you beg, tears on the corner of your eyes. “You aren’t allowed to do so. Go right here. On my lap” he says, panting, and you could actually swear you could feel his heart violently pumping as you press your back to his chest.

You squirm, feeling his rock hard member throbbing in between your ass cheeks as your leggings gets a little wet. “I won’t piss in your lap, what the hell?” you say, even if your mind begged for you to let go… ‘maybe… I do?’

“Fine, then you will be forced to do so… remember you gave me full permission to do everything I wanted with you…” he whispers, pressing your belly all of a sudden. “Fuck, Law!” you cry, feeling your panties slowly get wetter but forcing yourself to hold as much as you could.

Law makes you stand up, yet he never stops holding you for you not to escape. He lowers your leggings, brutally. Not even taking them off fully, just enough to uncover your sex. “Sit down” he commands, forcing you to land again over his lap.

The surgeon passes his hand up and down your core, feeling the mixed wetness of your pink panties and makes you spread your thighs. “Look at you, look how messed up you already are. See that wet spot on your panties? Let’s make it bigger” he whispers in your ear, sometimes biting your earlobe and grunting. “Don’t say you don’t like this, you can’t stop grazing yourself against me” he continues. “The mirror there was an amazing idea… but you know what else is? The fact you have your vibrators so close to our bed”

You gasp. As this isn’t enough torture, he is planning to use your dildos in you? “Law, don’t… if you do that… I would…”. “You would lose control, that’s exactly what I want”.

You damned the day you went with Law to buy those pink instruments of pleasure… Your torturing boyfriend sticks the little vibrating bullet inside you, and the wand… the wand over your clit. Tears running through your cheeks, salty rivers of desperation that Law licks as he lifts you a little up to lower the zipper of his jeans.

“Wanna know what else I wanna do now?” he asks, looking straight to your eyes in the reflection. He is even blushed from the ecstasy of controlling your bladder and your whole being. “W-what… Law… I can’t hold it anymore” you can barely pronounce.

“Even better, then” he mumbles, with the perverse smirk you've ever seen. And just when he says so, the million stings of pleasure the vibrators and the pressure were giving you now got multiplied… because his dick was right inside of you.

“Do it, it is an order”

“No…” you cry, feeling you are about to lose control of more than your bladder.

“Fine” he laughs, and pressing brutally your belly down, giving you the last thrusts, you come allowing yourself to finally let go. Law sticks his dick out and comes as you bathe his shaft and lap with your releasing pressure.

Everything gets wet, the bed, the carpet, his clothes, yours…

…

“Fuck you, Law… why didn’t you tell me you were into this?” you ask, while resting the back of your head over his shoulder. “Sorry, but I thought that if it was a surprise, you would like it better… thank you” he mumbles, a little embarrassed. “I don’t even know if this kink has a name, but I loved it. And I love you…”

“I love you too, thank you again”

“Yeah, now help me with the cleaning, would you?”

“NAH…”

“LAW!!!”

#trafalgar d law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar one piece #sashi-ya #trafalgar d. water law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law x oc #one piece #law one piece #law x y/n #law x reader #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #one piece x oc #law imagine #trafalgar law imagine #traffy #trafalgar law one piece #trafalgar d water law #trafalgar law x y/n #wano #cherry blossoms over wano event #sashi's dark corner event

[king-of-knives]

A stupid rant of a mess called me

My darling darling love, I promised myself I won't write about you again.... guess who's breaking promises as always.... somethings never change I guess.... like me writing to know what I feel .... sending it to you first cuz you matter the most.... you still do I see cuz this is still addressed to you..... what changed is you won't read this.... these words won't melt or tear your heart again.... it's just me and my words again.... when I write I write my misery my dreams my hopes I write my feelings I write me.... these days all that's left of me is somehow just you and your memories. You used to call me naive you know and you were right I was one step away from maturity one step away from being the miserable adults I used to see and felt bad about them... cuz they don't hope you know they don't love they don't express completely... and now that's all there's left of me ... I loved you so much and I gave you everything a person can give but you broke me that day I was crying in your arms and you broke me cuz I didn't have a heart to give anyways from the start .... people like me have no heart they have a hole in there chest which breathes on love and gives out love and when they don't get love they consume themselves....so when I fell in love with you I gave u my whole being the only thing I've to give and you broke it and I still loved you and I still do..... but three months later I broke your heart shattered it to pieces like you tore me apart.... and I am the Heartbreaker by default.... you cried in my arms like I did you begged me to stay like I did and I didn't give a fuck like you didn't three months ago ..... but the things is three months ago I lost me you lost nothing.... three months later you lost me but I lost you and me both.... and I don't blame you ... cuz love fucking hurts... nothing that beautiful comes without misery.... and now I've lost me for real this time I'll carry on being me but I won't really cuz nothing that breaks stays the same .... before I used to tear myself apart every night so I can be better the next day..... now I tear myself apart so I can be just me the next moment. You were my first love my only love and you are the love that broke me too..... now your gone cuz I left you... you hurt me .... I hurt myself.... I hurt me three months ago for you... I hurt me three months later by hurting you by hurting the one person who meant everything to me .... while you sat there blamed it half on me .... you don't realize how hard it was for me... to leave the one thing that meant everything to me... while it didn't meant everything to you .... weather u like it or not... it meant a lot to you but not everything.... cuz ik I broke ur heart but u don't think doing it I broke myself too.... cuz I did believe me I did .... I broke myself twice just for you.... and I'm barely held together by threads right now and I'll remember and miss you and tear those seems apart and cry for you long for you but I won't come to you... cuz I thought u were the person who won't ever hurt me .... but you hurt me in the worst way possible and the worst thing is I don't have the hate to Blame you ... I don't have it in me to hate you... I love you so much that you could do anything wrong and I'd still defend you.... now that I left you...

[balillee]

toh finale thoughts i need to spew psychic damage yada yada

at least eda got to help luz carve her palisman before she LOST HER FUCKING ARM I GUESS. like father like daughter kek

the collector has so much autism in fact that's what he collects. also i love how they rejected 'mr' and called it boring. canon the collector's title is mx.

gus absolutely blasted by philip's memories ohmygod. he saw everything he's gonna know that philip and caleb like founded gravesfield together or some shit. also sobbing when he came through the portal? good hunter hug the boy he's crying he's never gonna see his dad again

also confirmation that philip's older brother was called caleb, and that flapjack was caleb's palisman HELLO????? belos took one look at flapjack for the first time in centuries and remembered he held a grudge against that guy. i'm guessing caleb's partner or whatever helped him with that, and considering the clawthornes were historically palisman carvers, and philip and caleb carved masks as kids, i wonder where that started. also will never stop talking about caleb wittebane not sorry

king my baby little boy small guy fluffy u ok bud? ur like three feet tall and like yeah your blood or whatever might be the most powerful source of energy in the known multiverse but imma be honest unless you can literally give people magic like ur dad idk how much help you can be. that being said we did get confirmation that king's dad Is actually the boiling isles and did die trapping the collector. which suggests that king's real age is somewhere between 8 and multiple millenia

which brings up the question of what the collector actually wants. bc we know they wiped out the titans, we know they trapped the owl beast, we know they have the cult, but like what actually do they want. was it like a hunting for sport type of deal or?

hunter sweetie cmere i'll hug you dw

no raeda kiss? raine looking like they're fucking dead? might actually sob about this one

also sorry mrs camila noceda you have 6 kids now. betcha didnt see that one coming haha

willow didn't do much this episode but i didn't expect her to tbh. still girlbossed belos tho

i'm guessing next season we're going to have two groups of rebels. in the human realm we'll have luz, amity, willow, gus and hunter, maybe camila and vee by extension, and in the demon realm eda, darius, raine and eberwolf (if they're still alive), lilith, hooty, probably alador and bump, at a stretch kikimora, terra and gus' dad. i wonder how they're going to reunite, because i don't know how they'll progress without at least working towards that goal. also don't know what the collector is going to do to king bc they weren't actively hostile to him, even when he knew king was the titan's son, so like what is the collector's deal with exterminating the titans actually

not much to say about amity this episode uhhh i guess she didn't want to leave luz behind to face the collector alone but like this is nothing new for amity she just needs to be w/ her girlfriend at all times. also i love how at the end she's standing so politely bc this is like meeting her girlfriend's mom for the first time she needs to be on her best behaviour lol

i need the human realm crew to try out some spanish food. if they can stomach it lol bc i know interdimensional food isn't always the most compatible with the digestive system

[0x1lovebot]

Faith there was a time when I used to think about ending myself 24/7.. because of the heavy stress I was receiving constantly, when I finally lost in the big picture when I had the most important exam of my life which was indeed life deciding.. I managed to smoothly fuck it up

The aftermath that I received from others was dreadful, but yk what was the worst is how I was about to give up on myself when I was constantly calling myself worthless and shit.

I have no idea what's going on with you.. u just kinda reminded me of my past which is still afresh in my memory.. I just wanted to tell u that sit back for a second and keep going.. we don't have any other choices left w us anyways, so just let it continue.. if not fighting then bearing it made me stronger, it will make u too.. after all I believed how tomorrow will never be the same as today. It's okay .. it's normal.. call urs3lf whatever u want.. just don't give up on ur poor self,, she has beared a lot over the last 16 years,, u know that best.

- your Santa ❄

anon I'm so sorry you have ever felt similarly to this to the point of wanting to end it. you must be the strongest person I know, I can't even imagine what you must of gone through. but hearing this helps, fighting makes you stronger when you come out the other end and I think I need to remember that. so thank you so much

#the strength of my secret santa is unmatched #i appreciate your words so much #and even though i dont know who you are yet just know that i luv you very much and appreciate you an extreme amount #xiesecretsanta

[everyothermouse]

A lil group portrait of the time au adventuring gang!! Them <333

Basically tol fucked up as a kid and is now on the run from the law, but realized that since his life was so crazy he could live off of telling stories of his wacky adventures. When he met Jay he wanted him to come with him, and when he found out jay couldn't come cus he was virtually a demon/god/magic magnet he decided he NEEDED to bring him to capitalize on how it'd make more cool stories. And yeah it worked so since then he's been collecting wackos to aaa go crazy aaaa go stupid (and also bcus safety I numbers or whateva, pop and pip are also criminals and pastel and jay are crimes against god <3) more about each individual under the cut!

Doin them from left to right :)

Pastel: died when she was messing around with some friends and got stuck under a big rock and left to starve. But because of a fluke in the underworld her God decided to resurrect her, a right usually only belonging to saints. Because of this she's now poorly pretending that she totally did something to deserve being revived (she tells a different story every time someone asks, she thinks it's funny) to avoid being persecuted for suspected witchcraft. She met Jay when they were both drunk and they had fun fucking around in the city, and she spilled the beans to him that she was revived for no reason. She regretted it, but jay didn't kill her because even though he's religious he knew what it felt like to be magically cursed and have everyone be pissed at u for it. Also she's really funny with jay so tol begged her to come with them to add more Comedy(tm) to his memoirs

Pop: a time traveller and angel who is trying to hide both of those facts but only really succeeding at hiding the time travel thing. When they were a kid they traveled to this time with his friends Lustre and Cherrybomb, but when they were attacked by the vicious royal guard they weren't able to escape without leaving Lustre behind. Cherrybomb super repressed that memory, and while pop recovered from some minor injuries they vowed to never time travel again. Yeah they only kept that up until they were like 15, but they still couldn't bring themself to go back to when they left Lustre. But now they're 26 (well technically they're like 33 but in their time their supposed to be 26) living with their boyfriend cherrybomb and have years of time travel experience under their belt, and they're ready to go back. Except they can't go back because they created a travel block for themself by accident because of how upsetting the event was, so instead they traveled as close as they could, about 10 years in the future of the time. Now they search for any form of closure, all they need to know is what happened to their friend, and they will do whatever it takes to find this out. But angels aren't super welcome in the past, especially not with uncut wings, so it's not exactly easy for them to navigate this time period. But after a while of their search they met two lovely children (well young adults), a demon and a "cursed" (nowadays they call em spiritually gifted) and felt so bad for how much the world seemed to be against them they decided they could travel with them, just for a bit, to protect them. They tried not to get attached. They failed. They're in it for the long run now aren't they TwT also as they explore this time and learn more about the gods, they start to realize that they might... be the God of longevity???? Or at least an older version of them became them? Time travel is fucked man

Btw Lustre plays a big role in this plot, her hyper futuristic knowledge, 'blessed' white eyes, and strange God gifted clothing would all lead to him rising to a much different role than fugitive rather quickly, but they're not who this post is about ;) also I'm gonna go bottom to top for the 3 in the middle let's go

Lune: just a little guy :) lune is a young rancher/gardener who worships the God of the wood, who kind of goes missing sometimes and is lowkey the least loyal God but shhhh he loves them. Lune and tol were childhood friends (along with their pal cleo) but on one of their little excursions tol took something very important to a very powerful king, and refused to give it back. As retribution the king destroyed their entire town, and cleo put all the blame on tol, tol and lune both knew lune had to take the side against tol in order to not have the town turn on him. So yeah he moved with the town to bring up a brand new farm, long awaiting the day when tol would come home and say that things were OK and they could settle back in town together, hopefully with cleo too. That didn't happen, but tol did come back and peer pressure lune into part time adventuring with him! So yeah generally lune just runs his lil farm and prays, but when tol comes to pick him up he gets a chance to go be free to act batshit crazy, just like when he was a kid 🥰

Pipes: DEmon! One time lune and tol had a little squabble so lune was like 'im gonna get a new best friend and ur gonna regret this' and tol was like 'yeah right, u live with a bunch of criminals right now no one's gonna wanna be ur bestie dumbass' so lune just walked into a cave at night and dragged out this little nonverbal demon because demons who live alone in caves don't have high standards for friends. Even tho it was just a ploy to make tol jealous lune went super hard on it and now pipes is actually friends with the gang lmaoo

Tol: like I said with lunes, stole something important from a king as a kid, monarch got pissed, blew up the town, town got pissed at tol for it, and since then he's been on the run because he's too stubborn to give back the damn thing (they could have just attacked HIM for it, but since la queen decided to fuck with his town, his family, tol thinks he doesn't deserve to have it back.) He had to run from town to town and got into a lot of danger in his attempts at finding places to hide, but he lacks fear and tended to fight stuff off. As a kid he found that he could get enough pity to be welcomed into towns if he told people he had to fight a monster to get there, so he told stories at every town and camp he went to of his hardships. But as he got older, those he stayed with beckoned him to keep talking, and more and more people said they had heard of his adventures. And that's when when it clicked, his shining ticket to true freedom wasn't a place, it was his stories. They gave him food, shelter, fun, memories, a life. So he made it his mission to never settle down, to make his life as crazy as possible and to talk about it as much as possible, and if he ever ran out of energy to adventure, he'd spend the rest of his dying days writing and writing his entire life story. He thought this was a life he'd live alone, but one day he sought refuge in jays little lonely house because he thought it was abonded, luckily though Jay had just been praying for a second chance at life and decided that considering the timing, tol must be that second chance. So yeah jay patched him up, found out on his monthly supply route he was harboring someone very wanted, and took care of tol even harder because he didn't know or care why he was wanted, he just knew that anyone who had a drawing of them as a child on a wanted poster definitely didn't deserve it. So yeah they're besties now.

AAA I wrote out a really long description for jay but tumblr glitched and I lost it :'O ble here's a shorter rewrite cus I'm not writing out that whole thing again >:P

Jay: brought up in a church village,, he was born with the curse, which allows him to tap into magical properties very easily, and be very easily controlled, manipulated, and possessed by them. This allowed him to be very connected with his god (the god of longevity) but also meant he was often treated as a security risk and a monster by the adults of his town since he could let in evil spirits so easily. He spent most of his time praying and he became obsessed with acting on compulsions (repeated prayer, overscrubbing, scratching himself, touching religious things until he felt like he touched them "right") because he believed they were messages from God and would prevent him from becoming evil (look he was a teenager and everyone told him he was a monster his whole life leave him be.) He gets possessed twice, mage as a rep of the town is like "either have ur cursed removed or leave town forever" (uncursing is only hypothetically possible, it's hella dangerous) and he's scared itd sever his connection to his god so he leaves and he's upset bcus his entire life plan was built around his church, so now he's livin alone on a hill and leaving like once a month, he stays up there and sews and prays mostly, he sort of works on himself and becomes vaguely mentally stable, so he prays for a second chance at life since he lost his original path and needs a sign where to go, and then boom tol shows up and the rest is history. Now he has his own little family and things are going great :) other than the still getting possessed like once a week but shhhh

Pip: in between the entrance to hell and the religious central of the continent is a little town that sides with neither. They mostly fuck around and find out, and in this town lives a monster researcher and her less formal wife, pip! Pip is just a silly goofy little guy livin life, and when the crazy bunch shows up she feels like he's finally found her people :3 and for the first time the group gains a member who's begging to join them as opposed to the other way around

Ya and together they all go on wacky lil adventures with demons and monsters and monarchs and what not.

Tldr pastel is a funny lil dead guy, pop is a time traveller and the Adult of the team, lunes a lil farmer man, pipes a hobo demon they picked up off the side of the road, tols a little criminal demon adventurer, jays a religious weirdo who tol dragged out of his hermit hut, and pips an insane little guy

#theyre all adults in this au tol is just short </3 #artinevee #art #oc #digital art #original character #time au #pastel #pop #lune #pipes #tol #jay #pip #chibi #cute #fantasy #original story #for once instagram gets a drawing before yall because i had to find time to rewrite the jay and pip sections #Tolverse

[ao3gingerswag]

okay so I had a lil plot bunny for wander home I thought id share.

so I know that we don't really know how dean turned up at johns, I think you made a passing comment about him being left there but you said you hadn't really thought about it. I was thinking about wander home (as one is wont to do when ignoring any and all other responsibilities) and i had a little thought. so I'm thinking this is way in the future when sam is like 17/18, he's going through all the teenage angst and hes having thoughts about bio family. obviously, dean and cas are very happy at this point but sam for some reason gets it into his head that since he and dean aren't *actually* biologically related, their relationship means less and he starts obsessing over deans actual family and whether they could give him things sam couldn't (I think this would tie into a lot of guilt im sure sam has about his inaction during their childhood at johns even tho he was a literal child) and it's this whole guilt thing of whether or not dean has a better sam out there and how sam used him and all such guilt. so anyways, 17/18 sam is I imagine still doing his lessons with the pastor, perhaps he's been promoted to apprentice or whatever, and he decides to use his almost adulthood to try and track down deans bio family. I think he does this to get answers, solving the mystery of deans past (bc deans been with him entire life) but also to prove to himself whether he is actually keeping dean from a better life (o the teen angst) and maybe reunite them. so adventure commences, I imagine him searching through any records he can get his hands on (not many) and maybe lying to cas and dean and saying he's been send on an errand by the pastor and he goes back to John's inn to search for information. anyways after that all happens idk if it would be better for him to find out the truth or not, I can picture multiple endings that would work out differently which I can also add on later if you want but the ending point would be sam realising that dean IS his brother and they ARE enough and 'family don't end in blood' and all that jazz and he returns to the inn and maybe he tells them maybe he doesn't but either way he comes back a lot happier and dean and cas are like 🤨🤨 but they're happy he's seemed to come out of his funk and welcome him back with open arms and make a fuss out of him and sams like :]]]]

ohhhh noooooo this is wonderful!!!!!!! poor sammy :( having all the survivors guilt come back and blaming himself for things that were SO totally out of his control (sam: i didn’t lift a finger to help him ;~; ! dean cas bobby eileen pastor murphy literally everyone else they know: you were literally like 7 what the fuck were u supposed to do???) (also he DID lift a finger to help he always tried to help and risked his dad’s wrath for it, from the time he was like 3 years old ;~;)

anyway anyway. Sam goes Searching, maybe he has to confront john again to get the answers he wants (if john is even still alive idk. regardless i dont think he’d have his inn anymore lol not w/o dean and sam to do all the work. hes probably in debtors prison or whatever.) and yeah theres def no record of what happened to get dean into john’s hands. i think i mentioned in the outside that dean has a vague memory of being pulled away from his parents while crying ;~; but yeah they sold him to john. but like its the middle ages it wasnt like formal there was no paperwork. there is no record. but! maybe sam finds out where john is through the records he can access thru pastor murphy. maybe like he sees that john had been arrested and is in some prison, so he knows where to find him. maybe they only let him in because he can be like Look I’m Important I Work With Pastor Murphy or whatever. so they let him in ans he confronts john and gets to cathartically shout at him/punch him in the face/force him to tell him where he got dean and everything he knows about dean’s parents.

so he uses this information and finally tracks down dean’s parents. and! they suck! like theyre not EVIL per say. not like john. but they still sold dean to a creep who didnt make an effort to hide how he was gonna treat dean. and theyre...really not remorseful when sam is like hey i know ur long lost kid. the dude u sold him to turned him into a child prostitute. and theyre like well thats not OUR fault! like theyre really defensive and pissy and dont have any interest in meeting dean or even hearing about him. they just want to be left to their lives.

so for a while sam is super devestated about this. i think he kind of built up this whole thing in his head where he would find dean’s family and they’d be wonderful and better than sam and sam would reunite them, thus finally making dean permanently happy and making up for the imagined guilt he carries around bc of their childhoods.

(maybe this whole thing started bc while dean has generally become very happy with his life hes still fucked up, maybe he got into a depressive funk and had like a panicked breakdown like he hadn’t in years, and sam was like whoa. this is my fault and dean still isnt actually happy i guess. maybe if i can find his Perfect Other Family he’ll be happy)

so sam makes his way home all :( sad and depressed and feeling like he failed. and then! when he gets home! he comes in and he sees :) dean being happy :) (dean and cas weren’t worried about sam being gone bc they knew he was traveling, tho they didnt know the real reason). and dean is like smiling and laughing while baking bread with cas and sam is like.... :o and then dean sees sam! and hes like :DDDDD SAMMY YOU’RE BACK!!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! and he runs over and gives sam a big hug and lifts him into the air even tho sam is giant at this point. and sam is like. oh. OH. he has a good family already. cas is his family. and i am his family. and we do make him happy. even if his parents were good he wouldnt want to go live with them or whatever bc he already has a happy family and home here <3 ;~; ;~; ;~;

and he doesnt tell dean where he really was or what he was doing or about his biological family bc it literally doesnt matter at all <3 <3 <3 ;~; <3 :)

#ao3gingerswag #wander home #ideas #prompts #sammy!! #i think maybe sam does tell dean one day. like way waaaaay later #like when theyre in their 40s or something #until then dean doesnt need to hear about yet more ppl who didnt care about him. by the time hes like in his 40s hearing that #would make him sad but wouldnt impact his self esteem or something #so sam might tell him then if the topic comes up #also @hooomdooom i would also love to hear ur ideas for the endings!! #im just rambling on my lunch break :)

[elytrafemme]

hello! as usual I hope you're doing well :)

I've just finished reading the new chapter of cough syrup and I'm back for my obligatory post-read rambling in your asks (i hope these aren't annoying btw)

Fucking great chapter, it was so good. You continue to impress me with your ability to portray raw emotion. I found myself heavily relating to cs!ranboo in this chapter (concerning? perhaps.) and all of it felt so real because it was so well done (/pos). I think the constant repetition of words and phrases was excellent in capturing that sort of spiraling helplessness and gradual breakdown. That's an incredibly hard thing to write because often times it's so hard to comprehend, but it seems like you just do it effortlessly.

I loved the paper crane scene, it reminds me of things my best friend and I used to do in high school. The fact that they kept giving the paper crane little head pats was super sweet and I just really love that detail.

Also here are a few lines I particularly enjoyed from this chapter:

"It's easy to imagine himself wandering aimlessly, lost in the blurs of forgetfulness and never having an anchor to attach himself to. Nothing to remember and nothing to find, wholly disattached and forgetting over and over until he inevitably dies."

Again, incredible chapter, so excited for the next one!

hi!!! hope ur doing well too aiilov-c ty for stopping by :DDD

these are absolutely NOT annoying they make me really happy so thank u for doing them! they mean lots to me :]

at long last... among a sea of people i've made cs!tubbo kinnies, i have ONE cs!ranboo kinnie (/J) seriously though, thank you so much! i think the actual writing process when trying to depict someone having a spiral is really interesting and honestly fun to do; it's kind of neat to figure out how each character ticks and how they handle stress/sadness/grief/etc.

cs!ranboo's is always pretty interesting to write (and i'm always nervous whether or not i do it justice, so i'm happy to hear i do!) because a LOT of it is, as u pointed out, sort of about francticness and repetition of thought (as well as words but that kind of buckles under that) because when he's stressed, his mind is either scattered all over the place, or it completely shuts down

vs cs!tubbo, for example, where he also can get panicked, but it usually takes very specific things to make him panic in a similar scattered way. not sure how to describe how he handles emotions because i'm sort of figuring it out as i go, but def different from cs!ranboo and very fun to sort out!

initially when i was editing this chapter i had been so lost in writing like chapters 12-14 that i had completely forgotten where i put the crane scene and thought it ended up in like chapter 14 for some reason? so when i was editing i reread it and i'm really glad i included it in chapter 10. partly because chapter 10 is so heavy without it holy shit, but also because it's very sweet i think :) paper cranes are so lovely and i'm glad it was nostalgic!!!

not to get too heavy here but i'm really glad you enjoyed those lines because the specific feeling that they were meant to capture constantly is a pain in the ass to try and figure out how to describe, so i'm glad it stuck out if that made sense?

i think that one of the most terrifying things for cs!ranboo is the fear that one day he could just disattach and kind of... float? and lose touch with reality. he struggles with derealization as this chapter touches on, and that plus dissociation plus his memory issues means that it's a really major fear for him. honestly, i don't even know (from a writer's standpoint but also like a human standpoint) if that fear is ever going to get resolved. i think that may be one of those things you're always terrified of happening but hopefully you find 'anchors' that make it easier.

whether or not cs!ranboo does or if that disattachment gets worse, we will see :)

thank you so so much for the nice ask, seriously, it means so much. hope ur well :D

#nightmare.ask #nightmare.fave #nightmare.cough-syrup #cough syrup spoilers #ask to tag #this reminds me i need to tag everything gets worse before it gets better on this fic #as i answer these comments/asks i'm startign tot hink it might be relevant