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childesglove · 1 year

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Did You Cheat On Me? Revenge Taste Bitter (Part 2)

Summary: Childe thought you had cheated on him and he decided he was going to take revenge, even if it hurts both of you. Now that he realised he made a mistake, how can he ever fix this?

Read Part 1

Tags: Angst with comfort, Hurt, Implied Violence, Reader has anxiety attack, not proof read, verbal abuse, a lot of screaming

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You turned and leaned against the door, breathing heavily as you felt the weight of the world crashing on you. You parted your lips and an ugly sob escaped you. You covered your ears in an attempt to block out all the noises but it did nothing to silence your thoughts.

Your heart ached so much it felt almost physical. You haveso many questions but all you could do was curl yourself into a tight ball.

Like a hammer striking a fragile mirror, reality shattered the memory into a thousand sharp fragments. All the lovely images of him smiling sweetly at you, holding you tight and making you feel safe shattered.

It was a painful reminder that he was not the one.

He was just a passerby in your life that left a scar that would take forever to heal.

You stayed in the same position for what felt like hours before you started packing your clothes.

With one last look, you left this place that you once called home.

The same day

Childe was lost in his thoughts, he was growing restless as each moment passed by, he couldn’t forget the look on your face when you left.

He felt sick and twisted for making you cry even when you were the one that betrayed him. He was supposed to feel happy, triumphant even, yet all he felt was emptiness and a sense of dread.

He doesn’t even know where that dread came from.

“ Lord Harbinger, a man that claims to be a friend of Ms y/n is requesting an audience.”

“Let him in.”

“Urm, Hello. I’m Matt.” A nervous-looking man entered, his eyes darted around as he licked his lips nervously.

“You dare..” Childe’s eyes narrowed coldly as he recognised the man, it was that bastard that you cheated with.

“I think we have a misunderstanding here!” Matt widened his eyes as he put his hands up in an attempt to calm the harbinger down. “I am Y/n’s childhood friend, I recently just came back from Sumeru to visit my family.“ The poor man was talking like a machine gun as if a bomb is about to set off.

That feeling of dread is coming back again, Childe stared at Matt, waiting for him to continue.

“Y/n is just like a little sister to me and I am really happy she found someone.” When he mentioned you, Matt’s eyes softened for a second. “I wanted to explain to you yesterday but you looked like you were ready to kill me..” he smiled sheepishly.

“What..what did you just say?”Childe’s mind was a whirlwind of panicked thoughts, his instincts screaming at him to find you and beg for forgiveness but he didn’t even know where to begin.

Everything made sense now.

The way you looked so hurt, confused and offended when he confronted you.

“What have I done?” Childe muttered, his face contorted into a horrified expression.

He messed up.

When he went back to their shared home, he was greeted with nothing but emptiness. The house was silent, not a trace of you was left behind. Your matching mugs, the plushies you insisted on keeping, and the photo frames of you and him were all gone.

A letter was left on the table.

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Dear Ajax,

I went against my whole family and friends to be with you, and I really thought it would be you in the end but turns out, my mother was right. You were not and never would be that man.

I wished I’d never met you, you make me feel sick.

Hope we never meet again.

Y/N

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As he read, Childe’s hands began to tremble as he clutched at his chest, trying to hold himself together, but the emotions were too overwhelming, raw.

His face was twisted in agony, tears streaming down his cheeks as he read and re-read the words on the page.

He can’t believe he fucked up so badly.

It felt like yesterday when you pressed yourself against his back, whispering how much you loved him. The way you kiss his ears, giggling as you watch his ears turn red under your touch.

Each time he came back from the battlefield tainted with blood and all worn out, all he wants is to see you, hear you call his name so sweetly.

Yet all of these are gone because of his foolishness.

Part 3?

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megaawkwardhuman · 1 year

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OK SO I wrote most of this starting at 2 am and stopping at like 3 also 4 am after listening to numbers by temporex for the fifth time (I was inspired by the overall vibe of the song link to the song if you wanna check it out) and originally it was going to be small bummer fic written only for myself where Guillermo did get turned by Derek and he goes back but nothing changes around him but I got a little too carried away so now it’s about (roughly) that and Nandor wishing for Guillermo to return after he left and didn’t return after becoming a vampire.

disclaimer: I'm currently clinging onto a free grammarly account for dear life and I tried my best to edit the nonsense I wrote instead of sleeping so if at any point this sounds weird I apologize!

and with all of that out of the way I now give you Just Alright:

Guillermo sat in the same old bed he’s been sleeping in for over a decade. He thought when Derek turned him things would change but no not much changed when it came to the way he was treated. Things did change overall sure he was gone for weeks before returning to the mansion but in a way they haven’t. What it all boiled down to was the fact that nobody really noticed the change. Normally Guillermo chalked it up to them being assholes but the reason they didn’t care or notice this time around was due to the fact that they had gotten themselves busy while he was gone.

Laszlo tried to go back to his old ways but after the loss of baby Colin he found himself going over to sean’s place to distance himself from the energy vampire he help raise. Whenever anyone asks him about it he brushes him off. Due to him being away from the house most of the time, he didn’t even know Guillermo was back let alone now a vampire for a while.

Colin Robinson still doesn’t remember being a freak child at all and so he went back into looking into energy vampires just now without the help of Laszlo. He tried to get Laszlo’s help at first but after a couple of fuck offs he gave up. He still treated Guillermo the way he did before mainly to annoy him.

Nadja had a lot on her plate. At first, it was having to deal with what to do now that the nightclub dream was basically dead then it was getting to the council building back to the way it was before to trying to get Laszlo to stop hiding away in the neighbor's house and actually getting him to sit down and talk about how he was feeling. With all of that, she didn’t seem to care he was a vampire now. I mean it was understandable she was doing a lot but she still treated him like a familiar. He wasn’t even her familiar to begin with yet he was still left to do all the hard labor for her. After some protesting and reminding her that he’s an equal now for the tenth time she got a familiar to do her bidding instead.

The only one who cared at all about the change was his ex-master Nandor. As for why well that’s a really long story. Let’s just say he’s the reason why he ended up back there.

Guillermo thought about going back at first. It was his original plan but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew he would have to eventually to get his stuff back but he wanted to fend for himself. He knew he could go out on his own he didn’t need any big strong vampires to fight for him he was Guillermo: by blood a vampire killer, an ex-familiar, an ex-bodyguard, and now a vampire. He knew how to kill he could live alone and they wouldn’t care if he was gone. If they did someone would have found him by now and begged him to come back.

But in the blink of an eye after a couple of weeks of trying to live on is own only to crash at Derek’s place half of the time to just living with Derek (Derek needed a friend anyway), he found himself face to face with the entrance of the place he wasted over a decade of his life in. He doesn’t remember walking back just suddenly being at the door.

“What the fuck why am I back here?” he asked himself. He tried to turn back but he couldn’t. No like he physically couldn’t turn back. Despite not wanting to be there he knocked the door.

“Come in the door is open.” He heard a voice he really didn’t want to hear say. He could also hear a few footsteps on the other side along with a few small sniffles thanks to vampire hearing. He opened the door and got a few steps in before getting tackled into a hug by Nandor. Guillermo was not only surprised but still had no idea what on earth was happening.

“What the fuck is going on?” Guillermo says extremely confused. He looked around over the vampire’s shoulder as Nandor cried into his. As he was searching he found the Djinn standing there with his notebook and pen not too far from them. Well, that explains it. Guillermo didn’t have time to be upset yet since he has to deal with the sobbing vampire hugging him.

Wait Nandor was hugging him willingly? Guillermo tried his best to pinch himself. “Ow.” well he wasn’t dreaming so yeah he WAS hugging him and he was hugging him REALLY tightly. If he was still human this would have most likely killed him either due to suffocation or Nandor accidentally breaking something really important.

“Oh, Guillermo where have you been? I was so worried about you I- I missed you so much.” as he talked he cried harder and harder. Guillermo was honestly surprised to see him in such a state. He can’t recall seeing him express his emotions or saying how he felt ever let alone see him cry this hard. He was HUGGING HIM for fuck’s sake.

“Master I like this and all but this is starting to hurt a lot” he knew he didn’t need to call him that but he still did out of habit. Plus he didn’t know if calling him Nandor would piss him off so it was better to be safe for now.

“I just missed you so much and if I hug you tight enough you won’t be able to leave again.”

Guillermo would be lying if he said that didn’t make him feel at least a little bit like shit. But in his defense, he thought Nandor would be too busy reading his books or whatever to notice his absence. Sure he wouldn’t be gone forever since he has all eternity to go back to the house to say hi or to bump into Nandor while out hunting and small talk about his times as his familiar. He didn’t expect Nandor to actually be hurt by this. He knew he should have known better but he did what he did anyway without taking Nandor actually noticing into consideration.

“You didn’t even leave a note. I thought you were out on one of your silly human errands, but when you didn’t return I thought you were hurt or dead.”

“Well, I’m here now.”

“And that’s all that matters.” Nandor slowly let go of the hug.

Guillermo wanted to say his goodbyes and get out as fast as he can but he knew he would feel like shit if he left knowing it would hurt Nandor this much he made his way inside.

After Nandor calmed down a bit they ended up walking to Nandor’s room to talk. Looking around his room and the house overall while thankfully repaired the house was still a mess. Bodies were all over the place, candles melted all the way down leaving puddles of wax, and every other surface was dusty. It reminded him of when he first returned to the house after trying to leave this life behind for the first time.

When he entered Nandor’s room it was messier than the rest of the house but considering the state he was in when he entered Guillermo could make an educated guess as to why so he knew he couldn’t judge.

“Sorry for the mess. When I noticed you were gone for longer than usual at first I tried to ignore it but I just couldn’t. I tore this room apart trying to see if you hid a letter or anything that would tell me where you went. It was honestly stupid of me to think you would hide something like that since you didn’t hide the letter you left behind last time.”

“I really should have told you why I left before…” should he tell the truth?

“Before what?” he looked at him confused then he saw his fangs. “Oh…”

“I paid Derek to turn me.”

Silence so thick you could feel it fill the room. It was Nandor who broke it with tears slowly running down his face again as he spoke.

“Why?”

“Look I know you view vampirism as a curse and I knew you didn’t want to turn me because of that and I know you’re not the biggest fan of change so by turning this way you wouldn’t have to-”

“Why did you not come back?”

Nandor’s words felt like a stake to the heart. Guillermo didn’t know how to respond so he froze. Any word he could think of saying vanished like he did weeks before abruptly and without saying goodbye. If he didn’t feel like shit before he felt like the worst person on planet earth now.

“Master I-”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME THAT!”

“LOOK I’M SORRY OK!?”

“You think that’s going to make up for you abandoning me!?”

“I didn’t plan to stay away I was going to come back.”

“When Guillermo fucking when?”

Silence flooded the room again. This time It was Guillermo who ended it.

“Nandor look I’m so fucking sorry I didn’t intend to leave permanently I was going to come back and change everything for the better but couldn’t bring myself to go back I… I’m so sorry. If I knew I would be out for as long as I have I would have said goodbye.” In the middle of his sentence, Guillermo caught Nandor’s tears and began to cry too. “If I were you I wouldn’t forgive me.”

Nandor went up to him and cupped his right cheek with his hand wiping away a tear. “Oh my sweet sweet Guillermo I knew you wanted it so bad but I didn’t turn you not because being a vampire is a curse. I didn’t turn you cause then you would have left. I know once you were one you would have no purpose here anymore. it was selfish sure but fuck I just couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving and I thought if I kept you busy you wouldn’t leave. Making excuses to keep you as a human, promoting you to bodyguard when your life was at risk, making turning you into a long trip all of it was to keep you by my side for as long as I can. When you were shipped off to England by Laszlo and I ended up traveling alone I was left to think about why I did this. Why I wanted you to stay for so long and when I realized why I didn’t want to think about it. So when we all came back as I was helping you out after you fell into the water filled basement I used finding someone to marry to cover up what I found out” it clicked in Guillermo’s head what he was getting at but he let him continue. “I was hoping every day that you would stop me from going through with the wedding, I made every task hard in hopes it would stop you and, when everyone was objecting I was hoping you would be in that line. I wanted you to stop me causes…I love you Guillermo so so much. I just couldn’t bring myself to fully accept it until you left.”

Guillermo nuzzled into Nandor’s hand as he began to cry harder “I love you too.”

Nandor pulled him into a kiss.

They could get angry at each other for what they had done another time. For now, all they wanted to do was hug and be glad that they could express how they feel for hopefully not the last time.

And it wasn’t time flew by and they slowly vented out their feelings to each other. They had their scheduled yelling match about what they had both done to each other once all the tears were fully over a few days later. But what had started as them fighting with their tongues figuratively turned into fighting with their tongues literally. Needless to say, they forgave each other quickly after that. As for what they were now they settled on boyfriends. it felt weird at first to say but after a while, the word felt great coming out of their mouths.

Not much has changed really looking back as he sat on his old bed. Laszlo was still horny, Colin was still annoying and Nadja would kill him if he boiled her down into one word even if it was just in his head. But as he sees Nandor take a box of his stuff up to their new room he's glad he at least made one change. Considering he has all eternity to help the others for now he’ll take this as a win.

“Guillermo, what are you doing?”

“Oh just thinking that’s all.”

“You know I was doing some thinking too and I was thinking maybe I can give you my last wish.”

“How thought full.” he gave him a peck on the cheek. “You know I think I already know what I’m going to wish for.”

“May I ask what that wish might be?”

“A coffin big and wide enough for the two of us,” Guillermo said with the biggest grin on his face.

#oh the lovely art of writing a fic instead of sleeping at a reasonable time but fuck you past me I woke up feeling like SHIT cause of you #can't believe I'm posting this but eh fuck it you know #wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #what we do in the shadows fanfic #hurt/comfort #A LOT of crying #gather around and lend me your time #the first fic I've ever completed #speaking of fics I'm gonna go back to writing the serial killer guillermo fic in a bit just taking a little break from it for now #I was putting a LOT of time into it and if I put TOO much time into something (especially if it involves a lot of writing)#after a bit I get really sick of it and I don't wanna burn myself out so yeaaaaaaaah

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viaviv124 · 2 years

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Trust us and don't cry

God fucking damn it. He messed up again. He knew he did, only further proved by the sharp pain in his left side, unable to tell where the initial wound striked just a moment ago, causing him to topple over and fall to his knees, gasping out quiet curses as he did.

Dust knew, he just single handedly messed up the entire mission by carelessly getting injured instead of watching his back like he was told to do. It didn't take long for the others to abort the mission and escape back home, him included.

As soon as they were back in the castle Dust instantly 'took a shortcut' to his room. He didn't need the others to tell him what a failure he was after wrecking the mission. Papyrus was covering that already, as well as his own thoughts.

"You are really so incredibly useless, Sans!" he heard his brother's voice ring out, louder than anything else that he might or might not hear right now "Even that free EXP is more useful! I'm honestly surprised at how you're still alive! If it was me deciding, I would've gotten rid of such a burden!" Dust didn't respond. He didn't have to. It was true after all. He was the one fucking up mission after mission recently, always disappearing fast enough before anyone could yell at him. He was pathetic and weak, as further confirmed by the tears that started quietly making their way down his cheekbones. "You are so weak and pathetic. A failure. I am ashamed to be called your brother. Oh well, what was I expecting? You always knew how to not do anything right! And now you're even bawling over your own failure! You do not deserve any kind of comfort or compassion, so shove it!" Quiet sobs made their way out of his throat as Papyrus kept scolding him.

The mass murderer doesn't know how long he cried before he heard a firm knock. As if a button was pressed, he instantly went quiet. Or, well, tried to at least. He forced his sobs down and felt them building into a lump in his throat, making breathing the air he didn't need ultimately harder. His sniffs could not be prevented entirely either. Still, he forced himself to be quiet as he heard a voice on the other side. "Dust, open the door." The voice was firm and could only belong to the King of Negativity himself. Why would Nightmare seek him out? Had he finally had enough and wanted to get rid of him? Not like the hooded skeleton could blame him. All he did was fuck up after all. He could hear Papyrus' scolding again, "See? Even your oh-so-beloved boss gave up on you! You can't even be used as a simple tool anymore, that's how useless you really are!"

Another firm knock was heard and Nightmare called out again firmly, "Open the door." But instead of following the order, Dust just sat on his bed, fearing to be killed, or worse, being brought back to his Timeline with that demon child. He quietly choked out the suppressed sobs, not being able to hold them down any longer. His throat felt sore and hurt like hell. God, he was pathetic.

Once again he lost all his awareness of his surroundings as he curled up and quietly cried. Suddenly he felt something move next to him. His fight or flight instinct triggered and in milliseconds he had a sharp bone summoned and took a swing at whatever entered the room. Before he could hit anything his wrist was held with a strong grip and Dust finally realised who was in his room and blocked his attack.

It was Nightmare and a tentacle was wrapped around his wrist.

Great. Just fucking great. He tried to kill his boss. Now isn't that dandy. At least he hoped that his own death would be quick. "Calm down," the corrupted skeleton spoke before getting rid of the attack and letting go of the smaller's wrist, who rubbed it slightly, avoiding his boss' gaze. "I've been told you were injured earlier today," he proceeded to speak, eyeing the left half of Dust's body, the hoodie covering it was already drenched in leaked magic. "'m fine," the skeleton in question responded, mumbling "sorry…" he added just as quietly. "I'm not mad," Nightmare reassured him as he slightly lifted the drenched hoodie, much to the injured skeleton's displeasure as he flinched. "Would you prefer getting rid of it yourself?" "No need." The corrupted skeleton looked at him suspiciously, "Are you hiding something from me?" No answer. The taller sighed before getting rid of the soaked hoodie either way.

He was met with quite a few nasty scars, which didn't heal properly and were only loosely shut due to high LV. Dust attempted to cover himself with his arms and lowered his gaze even more, if that was even possible. Now Nightmare had proof that he was useless and only fucked everything up. He expected to be scolded, yelled at, punished, just ANYTHING, but nothing of that sort happened. Instead Nightmare's gaze softened and he put his hand first on the new wound and then the scars as he applied healing magic. The touch itself stung and hurt alot, causing Dust to flinch and gasp. Pathetic, showing himself so vulnerable. "If he wanted to, you could die any second. You're not worthy of his mercy," Papyrus spoke up again. The now hoodless skeleton tensed up even more, trying to hold back tears without success. Suddenly he felt a hand on his right cheekbone, carefully wiping his tears away with a thumb. "Dust, look at me," Nightmare's voice sounded softer than before and Dust hesitantly raised his head. His face was a mess. Various tear streaks painted his cheekbones and more tears were flowing down. His eye sockets had very clear bags from crying and his mismatched eyelights were shaking slightly. He didn't want to be seen this way and he wanted to avoid seeing Nightmare's expression so he squeezed his sockets shut. Painful and pitiful sobs made their way up again and his entire body shook. He was so incredibly pathetic.

As Nightmare kept healing him with one hand, he gently moved his other hand from his cheekbone to the back of his skull, caressing it slightly. His tentacles carefully laid on his back, gently pulling him in a hug and laying him against his body. Dust's breathing and shaking increased as he subconsciously clinged to the other. Then somehow something inside him just snapped. He cried loudly, apologising over and over for being a pathetic failure, half of the time barely being able to speak properly. Dust couldn't make out what or even if Nightmare spoke to him. All he could do was cry, cling to him and feel him gently petting him.

The next thing he noticed was Nightmare lifting his tentacles, removing a part of the security he felt, causing his breath to hitch and to whine out painfully. Then he felt something else around him. It wasn't Nightmare's tentacles but something else that was familiar, however he still refused to open his eyes. His senses blurred again as he kept crying, not even being able to form a single thought. Whatever just came hugged him as well, from one side even carefully kissing away his tears. And another weight laying on his shoulder. He could also feel being pet and comforted.

He never felt like that before. It was a warm feeling, not painful at all. It felt safe.

Finally he could make out all the blurry voices that spoke to him as he cried.

"You don't need to apologise. You're doing well. You're fine. Nobody is mad at you." Nightmare's voice. It sounded soothing and reassuring. He had finished healing his injuries and gently caressed his ribs.

"You did a great job. No need to cry." Horror's voice. It was soft and caring. It was also him kissing away the tears.

"Dusty, you need to stop worrying in that thick skull of yours." Killer's voice. It sounded a bit more caring and reassuring than usual. It was also his head laying on his shoulder and gently nuzzling his neck.

"You did nothing wrong. We got you, alright?" Cross' voice. It was soft and reassuring. It was him joining Nightmare in petting and comforting him.

It took Dust a bit longer to properly calm down, though when he did, he was panting slightly. He was also still clinging and pressing himself against Nightmare, eyes closed. The exhausted skeleton felt himself gently and carefully pulled away a bit, which was met with a pained whine. The shaking kicked in again until his back was gently laid against a different frame. It was probably Horror. Killer had repositioned himself to just hugging Dust for now. Before Dust could form any coherent thoughts yet he felt something held against his teeth and Horrors low but soft voice was heard clearly. "Open, please." He did as told and parted his teeth, only to be met with refreshing, cold water. He drank the cool liquid down and after a few sips the bottle or glass, he wasn't sure, was pulled away. "Good Job" Horror praised him and gently nuzzled his skull before passing him back to Nightmare, who began caressing his skull once again. "Do you want to open your eyes?" Dust shook his head slightly and clinged to the King of Negativity once more. No, he didn't want to. He was too scared. And he didn't want to openly accept their care for him. He didn't deserve it after all. "Come on, Dusty! You're fine! We'll protect you from anything that hurts you, alright?" This was the first time he heard Killer's voice so compassionate and caring. A soft kiss on his temple from Cross and the words "You're safe, I promise." gave him the courage he needed though. He wanted to believe their words. He wanted to believe them so much. So he did his best to ignore Papyrus' taunting insults and opened his sockets.

The first thing he saw was Nightmare's upper body and himself clinging to the taller's sweater. He took a shaky breath and looked up. Nightmare had a soft and incredibly caring expression. "You did well, Dust. Good Job" Dust tightened his grip a bit before hesitantly turning around to see the others. Horror had a worried and loving look on his face. His hands gently wiped the remaining tears away. "No need to cry. We're here." Killer's look made Dust question his own sight. Killer's soul was shaped as much as an inverted heart as possible and his dim eyelights carried so much care and love. He pet his head. "See? You're fine!" Cross looked by far the most worried, though his gaze was really reassuring too. He laid a blanket around Dust's, still exposed, upper body. "You can always rely on us."

Dust was overwhelmed, to sum it down. He didn't understand. Why did they care so much? Why weren't they mad? All Dust did the past month was fuck up and be a burden. And now he was so pathetic to break down in front of them, bawling his eyes out and barely being able to tell left from right at the moment.

"You are loved and cared for by everyone here. Trust us, Dust, and don't hide your feelings like that." Loved? He was loved? But before he could question it further, the three skeletons in front of him came closer and all joined Nightmare in hugging him. Before his mind could react to that, all 4 skeletons around him gently kissed him. First Killer, then Horror, then Cross and lastly Nightmare. Dust could feel the tears returning. He really didn't understand. Killer swiftly wiped them away before they could fall and said "No more crying, Dusty. That was enough being sad, okay?" Nightmare gently stroked his cheek "You don't need to understand. It's alright to be confused. Just trust us in taking care of you and your pain. You deserve it." Dust nodded slightly, admitting defeat.

Maybe it was okay to let the others take care of him and love him.

Maybe, in some way or another, he did deserve this.

Maybe he is allowed to be happy, afterall. Despite everything he's done.

Maybe, just maybe, he didn't fail anyone.

#fanfic #undertale #undertale au #ut au #dust sans #nightmare sans #horror sans #killer sans #cross sans #hurt/comfort #emotional hurt/comfort #A lot of crying #Low self-esteem #Self doubt #bad sans poly

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streamacademe · 2 years

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Week 250, Day 1743.

“Is there a doctor in the house?!”

YES, YES THERE IS.

I received the outcome of my corrections yesterday, you can officially call me Dr Doronina!!!

I have cried about 10 times, and, in fact, I couldn’t stop crying. My other half and I went out to celebrate and I just cried into my prosecco. This has been the hardest challenge I have ever undertaken. It has taken me 250 weeks (1742 days to be precise) to get this degree. I wrote a whole book. There is a reason only 2% of the population of the UK hold a PhD, it is brutal. I am so so so tired but also so so so proud of myself.

I feel invincible. ✨

#the diary of a phd student #phd life #PhD #is there a doctor in the house #yes yes there is #i did it #i actually did it #wtf #does not feel real #prosecco #crying #a lot of crying #overwhelm #happy tears #you can call me dr #water research #the diary is almost complete

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tariah23 · 12 days

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White people are miserable, racist losers period. They’ve even been getting mad at Japanese people for correcting them about Yasuke as well.

#rambling #seen wp go ‘they’re mismembering their history is all-‘#as if they’d know more than the actual Japanese people #comments on ever post about yasuke are full of racist wp arguing with Japanese ppl and telling them that yasuke was a ‘nobody slave’#while Japanese ppl are just like ‘well anyway-‘ on their asses it’s kind of embarrassing #the guy is literally an historical figure bro #how are you mad that everyone from a country that you have such an unhealthy interest in isn’t as racist as you are??? that’s what it’s #giving #I’m sure there are lots of Japanese ppl being racist af too #since antiblackness is global and everyone has a problem with black people simply existing but #they hate us too but 😭#it’s just #expect full blown kkk bullshit as soon as a black character pokes their head out from around the curtain #antiblackness #I see white ppl cry about yasuke every other month man #or at least once a year on Twitter

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moxie-girl · 3 months

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im so normal abt sibling relationships in media i swear

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jupiterslibrary · 13 days

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one of the differences between good omens the show vs good omens the book that will always fuck me up is the post-bookshop fire scene. crowley goes from picking himself up, dusting himself off, accepting the loss of aziraphale and Just Driving Anyway to completely falling apart. i do get why people have gripes with it being changed so fundamentally, and i've thought about it a lot myself, but i've never been able to bring myself to get mad about it. i always circle back to how the book was written by two best friends. that drunken, wrecked, grief stricken scene was written in a post-pratchett world. he lost his best friend.

#saw that 'i wanna talk to my friend' clip and now i am crying #not to get parasocial but like. you can lose a lot of people in 30 years and i can Feel those years of grief in the show's version #good omens #gnu terry pratchett

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cottagecore-raccoon · 11 months

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#it seems like this is a milestone that gets a lot of pressure put on it unnecessarily #but I know mine was weird #and I’ve heard a lot of stories of people crying afterwards #so now I’m curious #tumblr polls #polls #romance #kissing #romance polls #cottagecore-raccoon

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inkskinned · 1 year

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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

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