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arctickat2400 · 3 years

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Say You Won't Let Go <> Damon Salvatore

I stomped down the stairs after Stefan just gave me some random lecture on how I’m not being safe and how I’m putting myself in danger. How in hell am I putting myself in danger? I don’t see how that’s possible when Stefan barely lets me leave the house as it is. Like he can’t just lock me in this house for the rest of my life. I mean, I do feel very safe in this house, but it doesn’t mean I want to be locked in it forever.

Anyways, I stomped down the Salvatore stairwell, tears brimming my eyes. I walked through the halls and just as I was about to open the front door, I heard a voice that belonged to someone who I’ve had feelings for for awhile.

“What’s wrong, Kitty?” Damon stopped me, using my favorite nickname for me. He’s always giving me nicknames, but that one was my favorite and he always calls me that. And, Damon was like a brother to me, always caring for me and talking to me.

I turn around, wiping the excess tears off with the back of my hand. Damon gestures for me to go to him in the living room. I walk up to him as he wraps me in his arms, giving me a tight hug.

He lets go after a few seconds as I sniffle every now and then.

“Stefan broke up with me. It was stupid, but I guess it was for the best. I guess it just wasn’t working for him.” I told Damon.

“But, you don’t need to listen to my problems. I’m too annoying to make you go through that. I’m just gonna go home. Later, Damon.” I say to him, beginning to walk to the door.

Just as I touch the doorknob, I hear Damon call to me again.

“Hey, Y/N,” I turn at the sound of my name. “You wanna get out of here for a bit? Go somewhere. I heard there’s this new karaoke bar downtown. I heard it’s thriller. You wanna go with me? Get your mind off everything.” Damon asked, and I smiled at his gesture to help me. And, of course, I couldn’t say no.

“Sure, Damon. I’d love that.” I smiled at him, my cheeks blushing a bright red.

It’s weird. Why would I want to go to a karaoke bar? It was a club thing and there would be lots of people there. I hated big crowds and I hated parties and stuff like that. I guess i just really needed to get out.

Damon dropped what he was doing, slipping his phone into his back pocket and led me to his car.

He opened the door for me, patiently waiting for me to get in before shutting the door behind me.

Damon was always so sweet when it came to me, yet I never knew why ‘cause he hated like everyone.

He drove to the bar only 10 minutes away. It was about 8 at night so we had all night to hopefully have fun.

We walked inside, having to show someone our ID’s to get in. We, then, walked through a curtain type thing that led to a huge room that was the size of a huge house.

It was dark and there were lasers and lights illuminating the room for a glow in the dark kind of theme.

How was I able to survive in a place like this? I could barely survive school, let alone a huge party like this.

“You ready?” Damon asked me. I breathe in and out, looking up at him and saying, “Yeah.”

We walked through the big crowds of people, myself looking back every once in awhile to make sure I hadn’t lost Damon.

He pointed to the bar as I led us to it. We found to open spot where no one was sitting.

“I think you might need a drink or two.” Damon suggested, seeing as if I was still sad and down.

“I don’t think…” I didn’t get to finish when Damon called for the bartender.

“Two shots please.” Damon told the bartender.

This was my first club and my first ever drink that consisted of alcohol. Everyone has told me good things about these places and getting drinks and getting drunk, but I have never done it. This night is not gonna end well.

Two small glasses were set in front of Damon and I. The bartender filled the glasses with a clear substance that just looked like sparkling water.

I knew nothing about this world.

“You good?” Damon questioned with a smile.

“Yeah.” Was the only thing I said. I took the tiny glass in my fingers as I held it up to my lips. I watched Damon, having never seen this done before, as he dipped his head back, consuming the beverage.

I did the same, dipping my head back and drowning myself in what I think was Vodka. It was kinda sweet, but somewhat sour I guess. But I think I knew what everyone was talking about.

“That was…” I paused, thinking of the word. “Amazing!” I shouted, and Damon just laughed.

After a minute, “Hey, you wanna dance?” Damon asked me, gesturing to the hundreds of people on the dance floor.

I just smiled and nodded.

Damon led me to the middle of the dance floor, and to be honest, I had no idea how to dance. But, I just followed Damon.

I ended up just shaking around and I’m not even sure that what I was doing was dancing. Damon kept laughing at me, but I just embraced it as I took off my sweatshirt and wrapping it around my waist.

We danced the night away, Damon and I having the time of our lives.

At this point, I might have consumed like 20 shots, and I was everywhere. I was drunk off my ass and I’m surprised that I was more drunk than Damon. I guess he’s just had more experience with this kinda thing than I’ve had.

We went back and forth between the bar and the dance floor, taking many, many shots and drank a few bottles of beer. I gotta say, Vodka and tequila shots are much better than beer. But that’s just my opinion.

We laughed so much tonight, I don’t think i have ever laughed this much in my entire life, and I laugh a lot.

We danced some more, Damon laughing at every move I make.

We make it back to the bar and I was so drunk that I could barely stand. I was all over the place and I kept laughing at absolutely nothing.

I kept glancing at Damon and every time, he was always staring at me and smiling when I smiled or laughed. He actually never took his eyes off me at all tonight. I guess he just wanted to keep an eye on me, make sure I was doing okay or didn’t do anything stupid.

“You having fun, Kitty?” He smiled at me, drinking some beer out of a bottle.

��Are you kidding? I’m having the time of my life! This is amazing! And I feel like I can barely breathe!” I shouted over all the noise, laughing.

“Now,” I paused, slamming my hand somewhat hard on the bar. “Let’s do another.” I tell Damon in a laugh, meaning another shot contest.

“Y/N, to be honest, I think you’ve have enough. As much as I love seeing you this happy and laughing so much, I think you need to go home.” He tells me. And as much as I wanted to stay and have more fun, I think it would be a good, and smart, idea to go home.

I stumbled off my chair, but I was so drunk, I lost my balance. Luckily, Damon was her to catch me before I fell.

“Yeah, I definitely need to get you home.” Damon said as I started laughing.

Out of nowhere, I squealed mixed with a laugh as Damon threw me over his shoulder, my arms wrapping around his torso.

He carried me out of the bar and out to the car as I couldn’t stop laughing.

He put me in the front seat, buckling me up. And I guess I passed out right when he set me down, ‘cause when I opened my eyes, we were already in the Salvatore driveway.

I wasn’t laughing anymore. I guess when I passed out, that’s when y laughing stopped. I knew that I will have the biggest hangover in my life tonight and the biggest headache tomorrow morning.

I hopped out of the car and again, I almost lost my balance. Damon sped over to me, catching me once again. He picked me up bridal style as I snuggled into his chest. He carried me inside, locking the front somehow with me in his arms.

Damon’s POV

Y/N was amazing tonight. She’s usually pretty cool, but tonight at the bar, she was awesome. She would not stop laughing and she got so drunk. I was pretty proud of her. She’s turning out to be like me. And I don’t even know what I think of that.

I drove her home after I knew she'd had enough. This was her first time at a bar, well except for Mystic Grill, and this is also her first time getting drunk. Even when she was drunk as hell, she was still as beautiful as ever. And her laugh was like a choir of singing angels. I loved her laugh and I loved her. Yes, I said that.

She got out of the car and, like before, she almost fell, but I caught her before she hit the ground.

“Hey, hey. You’re okay.” I told her as she moaned. I picked her up bridal style in my arms, carrying her inside, her head laying on my chest.

I walked through the halls after closing the door just as Stefan walked towards us.

“What happened? Is Y/N okay? Is she drunk?” Stefan asked, stroking her forehead. I backed up a bit, pulling Y/N away from Stefan, knowing she didn’t want him touching her.

“I don’t know mom. Am I?” Y/N joked, lifting her head. I wanted to laugh so much. I love drunk sarcastic Y/N. “Why do you care anyways?” Y/N said, laying her head back on my chest.

“The lady has spoken.” I joked, looking back up at Stefan from Y/N. “She’s just a bit drunk.” I added.

“Yeah, I can see that.” Stefan said with a sarcastic tone.

“Asshole.” I heard Y/N say. She tried whispering it so Stefan wouldn’t hear, but he did.

Stefan just sighed and threw his hands up in the air in defeat, walking off.

“Nice, Y/N.” I laughed at her. I loved it when she was snarky like that. She let out another giggle.

Y/N’s POV

Damon carried me upstairs and into his room. Just as he was walking to his bed, I felt my stomach twist. Here comes one part of my hangover.

I slid off of Damon’s arms, running as fast as I could to his very large bathroom.

I kneeled down and started vomiting into the toilet. Damon ran up behind me and held my hair up.

“It’s okay, Y/N. Let it out. This is just part of the fun of getting drunk and having fun.” Damon laughed, holding my hair and rubbing my back. Some fun it is.

I turned around once I was finished and smiled a weak smile at him. He smiled back, saying, “C’mon, kitty. Let’s get you some rest.” He lifted me up, carrying me over to the bed.

He set me down, walking over to his dresser and taking out one of his black t-shirts that are rather big on me, reaching down to my knees at least. He was tall and I was short. What can I say?

Damon helped me take my soaking wet top off, replacing my shirt that wasn’t drenched in alcohol with his clean black shirt.

He took my pants off, leaving me in my underwear. He covered me in his blanket, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Thanks, Damon. For everything. Tonight was like the best night of my life and it was ‘cause of you. Well, except for the hangover… and the vomiting.” I said and we both laughed. I turned on my side,laying my head on his pillow.

“But, it was a great night and I can’t thank you enough.” I added, smiling at him. He smiled back, his smile leaving as fast as it came as he stood up, tucking me in a little more.

“It’s late, Y/N. Get some rest.” He said, beginning to walk out of the room.

“Hey, where are you going?” I asked, sitting up, the pain beginning to hit me from my upcoming headache. But, I didn’t want him to leave.

He walked back to me, lightly pushing me, carefully laying me back down.

“I’ll be here when you wake up. Don’t worry. Get some sleep.” Damon smiled at me, kissing my forehead as I closed my eyes and falling into a very needed deep sleep.

Damon’s POV

I woke up on the couch to a crash coming from the kitchen.

I ran in, seeing Y/N popping up from behind the island.

“Y/N, what’re you doing?” I asked her, walking to her as she leaned on the island, her hand rubbing her forehead.

“My head was just too much and I needed some Advil and water, but you were still sleeping. Stefan was gone and even if he was still here, I don’t want to talk to him. I tried to get it myself and when I tried to reach for a glass, I couldn’t reach it and I fell. And the glass fell with me and broke… and I’m sorry, Damon.” Y/N mumbled on. I could sense how much pain she was in and she seemed kinda stressed. I could tell how much the hangover was getting to her.

“Y/N, you have nothing to apologize for. It’s nothing to worry about. As long as you didn’t get hurt, everything is fine. Stefan will just clean it up later.” I told her with a small laugh at the end.

I walked over to her, careful not to step on the glass as I lifted her up onto the island so she wouldn’t step on any glass.

I went to grab another glass, watching for the glass on the ground. I filled it with water, getting some Advil and handing it to Katie.

After she took it, she closed her eyes and breathes heavily. I, then, picked her up in my arms, carrying her back upstairs.

“You really need rest, this being your first hangover. And as a vampire, your senses to this kind of thing are heightened, so you need to be careful what you do.” I explained to her.

“Well, why isn’t this affecting you like it’s affecting me?” She asked me as I set her back on my bed.

“‘Cause I have more experience with this kind of thing than you do, and also, you drank way more than me. I knew last night that you you might drink more than me so I made sure to drink less so I could make sure you were okay.” I told her while tucking her into bed.

“Well, thank you. But this headache is just too excruciating.” She paused, swinging her arm over her eyes. “Do you mind closing the curtains? The light is making it worse.” She complained.

The thing was, the curtains were already closed, my room as dark as it will ever be in the morning. Her senses were more heightened than I thought.

“Y/N, the curtains are already closed.” I mentioned to her.

“Oh.” Is all she said, realization sinking is as she uncovered her eyes from under her arm.

“The medicine she help soon.” I told her, standing up from beside her.

“Wait, Damon,” She called for me. I turned back to her.

“C-Can you stay with me?” She asked with a bit of hesitation, looking up at me. I let out a small laugh.

“Of course, Y/N.” I said, walking over to the other side of the bed and crawling in next to her. She rolled over onto her side to face me as I did the same as we stared into each other’s eyes.

“Damon, can I tell you something?” she asked, and I smiled in response.

“You have been more than just my ex’s brother to me. You have always been there for me, always helping me and saving my life more times than I can count.” I laughed at that. She continued. “And I can’t thank you more. But I’ve known you for awhile now, and nothing can deny what I’m about to say. Damon… I love you.” She told me.

I never thought that she would ever like me. I mean, after all the bad things I’ve done, after how bad she’s seen me act and the bad things I’ve done to her and her family, she’s still worthy of me.

I’ve loved Y/N since the day I met her. When Stefan brought her home, she walked in and I couldn’t deny my feeling for her. I guess love at first sight was real.

“Y/N, I…” But she interrupted me before I could go on. She rolled over onto her other side so she wouldn’t be looking at me.

“Oh my god, I hate myself so much. I can’t believe I actually thought that you’d like be back. That you’d like someone like me.” She started, burying her head in the pillow.

“Y/N…” I tried to get her attention.

“No, I know what you’re going to say and I knew it was coming. I just can’t believe how stupid I was to say that out loud.” She continued. But I wouldn’t let her go on any longer.

I crawled closer to her without her noticing. I swung my arm over her stomach, hovering over her body. I turned her chin towards me as she looked at me, my eyes staring into her beautiful blue ones.

“Y/N, you really need to shut up sometimes.” I smiled at her.

“What…” But I didn’t let her speak again when I leaned down and smashed my lips onto hers.

Our lips moved in perfect sync as she rolled over towards me.

“I love you, too, Y/N. I have since the day I met you.” I told her as we stared into each other’s eyes as I stroke her cheek with my thumb.

“I don’t want you to go.” She paused, looking into my eyes with a hopeful look in her eyes. “Say you won’t let go.” She demanded, hopefully. I couldn’t hold back a smiled. I bit my lips with a smile as I stared at her.

“I won’t let go. Never.” I admitted and it was true. I never wanted to let go.

I hovered over her as she giggled and I couldn’t not smile when she giggled. It was my favorite.

“And that giggle of yours is killer.” Her smiled grew bigger as well as mine as I leaned down and kissed her beautiful, soft lips once more.

#Damon Salvatore #damon x reader #Damon Salvatore imagines #stefan salvatore #fluff #angst #vampire diaries

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secretsniper2 · 3 years

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Late for Class..

“Im going to be late! Again! Why cant I wake up on time, stupid alarm clock, Im breaking it when I get home I swear!”

Its my usual response really, but I already know full well why I stay up so late, last night I tried to cum for 4 hours before I finally gave up and went to sleep, I just cant seem to manage a single orgasm, all I do is edge and make the throbbing worse! What's wrong with me? I was in such a rush Im only wearing a Simple plaid skirt with pink panties and thin white top with a poorly chosen black bra that shows clearly through my even poorer choice of top, tight 3 inch boots on my legs, A single tear flies off my eye as I rush to the station, I don't want to miss my train today or I really will be late for class.

Dashing through the station, my long brown hair flowing behind me as I make my way to the platform, Its packed, Ill be lucky to get a seat, odds are ill be standing today but at least I made it in time, “Might make it to classes after all.” I think to myself with a smile. Train arrives and I brace for the rush, and as the doors open Im pushed by other commuters into the train and soon enough were all packed in like sardines, barely room to myself I notice that Im being pushed up into someone larger than most in this carriage. He is tall, 2 full heads taller than me, Brown hair and large beard, his green eyes looking down and not just into my own green eyes, but seemingly through them, staring at me harder than any other has before.

The people everywhere still fighting for more space pushes me further into this man as our eyes still locked onto each other as my chest presses into his and i can feel my nipples starting to get harder under my bra, Im still aroused from my poorly timed marathon last night and this man seems to have figured my arousal out, his arm moves around me and pulls me even closer as his other arm moves between us and touches my stomach with his big warm hands.

Still locking eyes with me my mouth opens slightly as I feel his hand begin to slide down my leg and twist up my skirt, fingers crazing my slick thighs, and moments later caressing them, his fingers are being coated in my shame from last night. Sliding up my juice coated thighs his hand continues up till he cups my sex, Im soaked, dripping and desperately needy, moaning instantly into the gaze of this man the second he touched my pussy, my thin pink panties might as well not even be there since I soaked them through completely as his hands were trailing up my thighs before he even touched my wet sex.

A finger peels my useless panties off my pussy as I feel 2 fingers touch my clit and begin to rub, forcing louder moans as I break eye contact as his other hand, which had been holding me closer launches over my mouth and silences me before anyone could take notice to the moan, good think too as his massaging of my clit is making me moan harder and harder without stopping and it only took this man 12 seconds to bring me to a solid edge, it takes me much longer to get my edging started but this man..

Another edge hits as his fingers rub around my labia as he scratches at my clit constantly, dragging fresh moans from my face I feel him pushing a thick finger into my pussy slightly, seeming to test my pussy, its a tight fit, he knows Im a virgin now for sure, only a virgin is this tight to a single finger and I close my eyes as the idea of being raped on this crowded train as my first time slaps me with a edge on its own..

The movements of the train barely phase this man as his hand remains locked to my soaked pussy, his finger curled under pressing a knuckle into my nervous hole as his fingertip flicks at my clit, Im being overloaded, its far more intense than what iv ever done to myself and this man has only been in sexual contact with me for little over a minute and iv edged 4 times now.. 5 times now, his finger wont stop scratching at my clit, while his remaining fingers massage my labia from the base of my pussy to where my clit sits, Im being tortured and no one here is aware because a small girl is being gagged by a hand!

Constant stimulation has reduced my pussy to a source of ever flowing juices as my inner thighs are soaked down to my knees, if my boots weren't nice and tight id likely be standing on my toes in boots filled with proof of my arousal, thankfully they remain tight and my feet are dry inside though Im still being edged while standing on my toes almost making my legs give out beneath me. My juices flowing down my boots and pooling between my feet and the streams on my legs and the constant droplets from the mans hand keep expanding my puddle of need! I hate how turned on I am!

Pulling up to a station at last, I have 4 stops till I get to mine as I look back into this mans eyes, he still staring down, studying my expression and face as his other hand raises from my hand and a finger pushes past my lips and I instantly begin to swirl my tongue around it, I cant stop myself at this point as I suck hard on the finger rubbing my tongue as I moan in bliss as i hit edge after edge, as my head starts to shift back and forth, Im now giving this finger a blowjob and I cant stop myself, Im being swallowed in pleasure.

Another station and I slam into my 15th edge, my mind is in a haze as I drool as my head bobs back and forth on his finger with enthusiasm Im embarrassed Im showing someone who is essentially drugging me with my own arousal! My eyes unfocused as I feel his gaze still burning onto my face as my head drones on his finger, tongue working the underside of his finger as the suction Im giving is pulling my cheeks in on the draw back, my clit being rubbed to another mind breaking edge as we pull into another station and more people leave and enter the train. 2 stops to go, if I can even bring myself to go by then! And as i get to another edge the man leans in, removes his finger and locks his lips to mine, his tongue launching in and kissing me deeply, his saliva covered hand moving behind my head holding me in his kiss.

Making out with this man in brought to another edge quickly followed by another edge as the kiss goes in I melt into this man, legs going limp as I slam into another edge, my eyes fluttering as the man releases my mouth from his probing kiss as his finger drives back in and pulls against my jaw so Im forced to look back as he draws my focus as he pinches my clit before removing his pussy scented hand and licking his glossy fingers. Doors open and Im immediately pulled from the train, 1 stop early but the man doesn't care, his hand behind my head had lowered to my waist when the door had opened as he leads me out the train and through the station.

Walking out to the street the man directs me to the parking lot and a large van unlocks as we approach, I slow my pace but am met with a strong arm still wrapped around me as Im almost dragged to his van. Opening the side door I look around, 1 single seat with multiple bolts around the van, Pushing me into the seat Im quickly tied to the seat as i sit open mouthed in shock, the situation still not beating out my haze completely. Opening my mouth to voice something, anything, a cry for help, a plea for my safety, but as my mouth opens a finger dives in, its the same finger that was rubbing my throbbing clit earlier, I can taste my pussy on his fingers, smell the pure need I left on him.

“You don't say a fucking word, understood?” The man growls with a deep voice, echoing in my head I nod pathetically as his finger withdraws and a ring gag is pushed into my still open mouth, ensuring that my mouth stays open as drool quickly starts to pool in my mouth and flow through my ring and onto my thin white shirt.

Hopping in the drivers seat the man starts the van and we go for a drive, I cant see much outside the front windshield as the interior has been covered in padding to keep any silly screams for help between us 2 in the van. Tears start to form in my eyes as the man looks in the mirror and sees me dead centre of his view, he raises a remote and presses it and I jump in my bondage, my seat is vibrating! its formed in such a way my entire pussy is resting on a new vibrating pad, Im being forced to ride a vibrator while the man continues to drive, chuckling as I moan aloud, drool flowing onto my covered chest, the thin top soaking and sticking to me it almost fades when wet so it looks like Im not even wearing a shirt now!

10 minutes? 20? I don't know, the haze has returned as Im forced into more edges, and hearing a occasional chuckle I know when the man looks at me in his mirror as I lazily look around the van or up to meet his gaze when he drinks in my situation, was this all planned by him or was my abduction a spur of the moment thing? I don't know, and I cant ask with this ring in my mouth, only moan as I hit another edge and drool onto my generous breasts.

Pulling into a alleyway the man shuffles back and grabs my phone, Asking for the password i have little choice but to give him access and he starts going through my personal info, Smiling as he reads 1 of my bank statements.

“Looks like your going to be in debt a while Anna!” He says with a smile forcing a pathetic growl from my open mouth.

Reading my phones diary he goes into my private notes and laughs out loud and I hear him say the diary title “Orgasm Attempts” and my face burns red, Never having experienced a orgasm in my life for some unknown reason and now this man knows and I cant stop him!

“Lets run a test then! since were already in a nice place!” He says as Im untied from the still vibrating seat and the door is opened, thrown out of the van I notice Im not even in the city we took the train to, he's taken me somewhere I don't know! As the man follows he grabs my arm and lifts me up casually and spins me around and pushes my face against the alley wall, Hearing a zipper open i start resisting in earnest and Im rewarded for my resistance by hearing rapid clicking and something cold wrapping around my wrist, having my arm pulled behind my back then more cold clicking on my other wrist..

Iv been handcuffed! I cant push off the wall, I cant push him away! Im as helpless as a child and can do about as much as 1. Feeling my skirt get raised up and tucked into itself my ass is on display, pink thong parting my firm cheeks as he runs a thick finger down the band and pulls my thin layer of fabric and only cover aside and a monstrous pressure hits my asshole, his cock is lined up and my butt is about to take a beating. With ring gag still in my mouth i bite down as pain flows through me, my tight ass has only ever had small plugs and occasional finger enter but now Im taking a 4 finger thick rod in my ass my eyes are watering fast!

Blinking back tears as a moan scream combo rushes out as he thrusts hard and slams into me, his balls slapping my soaked pussy as Im impaled by a solid dry cock, and to my shame I hot another edge as he bottomed out, pulling back drew out another sound, I felt like i would throw up when he quickly thrust back in, raping my tight ass in a alleyway where anyone could see us, as his balls continue slapping my cunt as im fucked harshly to another edge.

Im crying out, the first thrust was excruciating, the following 5 were horrendously painful but now Im feeling pleasure, Im being raped and Im starting to moan as he works me over with his cock, his thrusting speeding up and I know what's coming next, and Who is cumming next since its never been me in my life! Heat bursts into my tight, freshly deflowered ass, feeling hot like lava I cry out as I edge as Im filled, my pussy drooling with need and unfulfilled pleasure as my ass takes his cum all the way inside me, his balls tensing as he pumps more and more cum inside.

Spinning me around and pushing me into the van once again the man rummages around while I lay there, spasming with a full ass and desperate cunt, I feel something press into my ass again and it slides in easily, too easily to be his cock.. Its a plug! my ass has been filled with his cum and is now being plugged to keep me full! why would this man plug me? I turn to get my answer but hes already pushed me into the van and hops in after me, his hard cock swinging between his legs. It felt massive in my ass but its not as big as i thought, definitely larger than average by a full 2 sizes it isnt a monster to break me with, thankfully since if it was any bigger my ass would have torn for sure!

Mouth still open and drool flowing out and stuck to my face and hair he pulls me forward and my mouth lands right where he wants me to land, with my hands cuffed behind my back I cant stop or slow my fall as his entire length, which would go from my elbow to my wrist is now passing the ring and my throat parts as my momentum causes me to deepthroat him right at the start, my tongue thrashing around on the cock in my mouth, his tip in my throat I gag painfully but helplessly. I feel his hand run through my hair as I continue to swallow his cock in a long dive down, he grips my hair at the base and pulls me up and almost entirely off.

Im coughing painfully instantly as he then releases my head and I drop once again to the base of his cock and then once again having my head grabbed by his hand at the base of my hair he then begins to use my head as a fleshlight, a toy I cant avoid being used as at this point, my mouth being full of his cock and before too long Im pushed to the base, his length in my throat as i feel his balls tensing and Im rewarded for my unwilling blowjob with a stomach full of cum being pumped in my throat. Being bulled off his still rigid cock a dildo gag is pushed in my mouth and locked in, Im being forced to deepthroat another cock, at least this 1 cant cum...

Securing me to my seat Im once again sitting with my pussy firmly planted on the vibrating pad, and in seemingly no time at all Im forced to the edge once again, my haze ever present, iv been drowning in pleasure since I woke up, and this mans actions have shaken me, even when used by someone else I really cant cu, I tear up at that realization as we drive off yet again. My view limited again after another 20 or so minute drive with another 30 or so edges Im far beyond any daily edge count iv had before, pulling up to a random alley once again Im untied and the gags are removed from my mouth.

“See you on the train tomorrow.” The man says as Im pushed from the van and he drives away, Spit covered shirt with black bra still visible and my skirt still tucked in exposing pushed aside panties and bald bare pussy and thick plug in my ass I return everything to its usual place then look around to get my bearings. Im a block away from my Uni, a few hours late for sure and no longer caring for the class I clearly missed I might as well just go home, but ill need a new shirt before I go since this shirt is barely a shirt now.

Dashing into a clothes store and a few minutes later leaving in a cheap shirt with my soaked shirt in a bag I leave for the station I intended to reach far earlier today, Hopping on a train and start my hopefully peaceful trip back home I sit in a vacant seat and relax, my ass clenching on the plug he left in me and I know the second I remove it ill be spilling cum everywhere so Ill have to choose a more secluded place, Glancing up my eyes widen and I see him, Sitting on the other end of the carriage, green eyes trained on mine as he sits, and waits unmoving.

5 Stops then its mine and I watch him carefully, Is he planning on assaulting another girl like he did me? Why cant I bring myself to call him out? 4 stops remaining. I should hit him or kick him, he raped me and even plugged my throbbing ass! 3 stops remaining. I should tell someone, there are girls all over this train and they would help me right? 2 stops remaining. Whatever he does ill stop him, I cant let what happened to me happen so someone else.. even though they get his.. cock and get to cum.. why couldn't I cum? why cant I ever cum? 1 stop remaining. Sitting in my seat my hand idly slides under my skirt, my wet shirts bag hiding my action as I begin rubbing my still throbbing clit to another edge, “I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!” i think over and over in my head as my finger traces circles around my slick clit and another edge until.

Doors open and I jump up, the man following suit, I step off the train onto my station and the man does the same on the other end of the carriage.. What's his game? I cant go home if hes following me, I don't want this man knowing where I live! But what choice do I have here, If I don't go home and he follows me I could be in real trouble, in my own home town..

I take off running from the man who only walks after me, Its 5 blocks of zig zagging and a lot of looking back but I loose him quickly. “cant keep up if all you do is walk!” I think to myself as I unlock my front door, enter than lock everything I can lock to secure my home and I take a deep breath, Windows and doors all locked I take another breath, my ass throbbing after running while plugged like this I retreat to the shower and work the plug out. The second it comes out the cum follows, “he really filled me” I think as i turn the shower on, taking my clothes off to clean myself up.

Getting changed I don't feel very hungry.. considering the “Meal” I had earlier I just go to bed early, Resting my throbbing ass is all I need to focus on and that needs sleep.

Tossing and turning in a light sleep, the scenes from today keep replaying in my head, the arousal, the amount of edges I was forced to experience, the taste of his cum on my tongue, the pleasure.. it felt good, I cant lie about that much. Feeling the bed shift i simply readjust in my bed when a hand presses on my mouth. My eyes shoot open as Im staring back into those same green eyes..

With his other hand pulling my initially fresh and dry panties off my body, my imagination replaying the events from earlier soaking them thoroughly he grabs my leg and raises it high, his cock once again levelled with me he rubs it over my soaking pussy and thrusts a few times, coating his cock in my shame he aims once again for my tight recently emptied ass and pushes hard.

“Nice home you have here” He says in his deep voice as he pulls my raised leg back and so pulling me further onto his cock. “I think ill stay a while, show you a few fun things, teach you a few other things” He says with a smile as he thrusts hard and I feel his cock drive deep once again. “Tomorrow Im going to feed you a refreshing cum cocktail, you'll learn to love it, or not, its all you'll be drinking from now on anyway!” He laughs! My pleasure at its peak my mind cant believe whats going on, I black out in a mix of fear, pleasure and shock. I think Im going to miss my next few classes too..

#Stories #Custom

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quazartranslates · 3 years

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Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH32

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 32: Star Death Reality Show (XV)

"Genocide Day", just hearing this name made one feel panic, as if they were being driven to the slaughterhouse, shaking in the face of death.

"What is... Genocide Day?" Qi Leren was infected by He Yi's current solemn expression, and right now he was as nervous as he was, but he was obviously in a much better state than He Yi. He remembered to turn on the camera.

"Judging by the amphioctopus’s nature, this is about to happen, and I happen to know something. At first, I didn't think... The glowing stone was... It was a dormant octopus egg... It shouldn't be, it's impossible, how could it be... I mean, they’ve been extinct for hundreds of years. Most of the data of amphioctopuses focuses on their parasitic nature and the way the amphioctopuses spread between hosts, there’s seldom mention of what form they take in the dormant period. Their vitality is very tenacious, and if they sense that none of their common prey is active, they can go into a dormant state that can last for hundreds of years! What kind of monster have we released!" He Yi put his hand over his forehead, and his voice was hoarse.

"Would you like some water?" Qi Leren could see that his current state wasn’t good. It could be guessed that he hadn't eaten since entering this underground laboratory, and there were no clean water sources here.

At the beginning, he had felt that He Yi was like Su He, but now it seemed that they were very different. At least, He Yi doesn't have the calm and faint superiority in his stature. He was just an ordinary person, who would be scared and afraid like an ordinary person.

Stripped of the coat of a peaceful environment, he was just a panicked human being under his skin.

It seemed that He Yi had not been parasitized. Otherwise, he would have had the chance to kill him, or at least control him.

"Do you have any?" He Yi asked happily.

Dr. Lu had found two bags when collecting materials, one of which had been given to Qi Leren. Qi Leren had put in it some compressed food and a small bottle of water in a special thermos to prevent freezing. After all, there were cameras everywhere. He couldn't take them out of thin air from the item bar, so he had simply prepared a little, which came in handy now.

After receiving the food and water, He Yi took a few mouthfuls, took a few bites of compressed food, and handed it back with pain and patience: "Put it away, otherwise I can't help but eat it."

Qi Leren generously said: "You eat, I’m not hungry."

He Yi gave him a complicated look: "Save it, we have to prepare for the worst. The spaceship won’t return to this planet until… I don't know which day. We should count on this until then. Believe me, this is the safest way."

"No, we have to find a way out and tell the people outside!" Qi Leren flatly rejected He Yi's proposal.

"You can't get out. Even since I found that the standby power here was turned on, the automatic defense system here also started. There are laser traps at the exits... How did you get in?" He Yi suddenly remembered this question and looked at him with an expression of surprise.

Qi Leren hadn't understood why the electronic lock on the iron door in Jing Siyu’s basement was electrified—in fact, it hadn't been electrified the whole time, the power had only been turned on after He Yi had mistakenly revealed the corridor into the underground research institute.

"I have better reflexes than most people," Qi Leren lied without changing his face.

He Yi made a face of "Are you kidding?"

"My companion and I found the ID card, unlocked the electronic lock, and encountered some danger after entering the laser corridor. Fortunately, my reaction time was quick enough," Qi Leren said.

He Yi was silent for a while, and looked at Qi Leren with suspicious and inquiring eyes. After careful observation, he seemed to have a trace of fear in his expression: "Who on earth are you?"

Qi Leren couldn't explain.

"Are you from the military? What do you know?" He Yi's voice had an uncontrollable panic.

Qi Leren looked at him inexplicably.

"Did you know the octopus would be here?" He Yi asked nervously.

"You’re mistaken, I really am just the lead singer of a band." Qi Leren patted He Yi on the shoulder calmly and He Yi trembled with fear. "Well, don't be too nervous. It's not impossible for us to beat the amphioctopus. We won't die like the people on this planet."

He Yi looked at him with an expression that was like he had cursed him severely just now.

"Er... What are your plans now?" Qi Leren tried to forget that he had just raised a flag.

"If we stay here, we can avoid Genocide Day. Our situation here is separate from the outside world because of the long distance, so we need to wait a few more days, and when the army arrives, we will be rescued. If we go out and fight rashly and without thinking, the final result may be that we’re parasitized or killed... Do you really want to do that?" He Yi asked.

"My friends are still outside, they know nothing about the situation," Qi Leren said.

He Yi closed his eyes and whispered, "You are not the saviour."

"I know."

"You can't save everyone."

"I know."

"And you’re likely to die."

"I know all this."

He Yi looked at him: "Then why do you want to do this?"

Qi Leren was silent for a long time. For the task requirements, he had to go out to kill the octopus to earn more survival time. What's more, Dr. Lu and Du Yue were outside, so he had to bring back the information about the octopus. Even if he didn't consider these, he had to consider those innocent NPCs. Although he wouldn't sacrifice his life in order to save them, he had chosen to help them as much as possible, even if he didn't know what these NPCs were.

He had died many times and knew how terrible death was, so he was even more reluctant to see someone else die, even if it was just an NPC.

He Yi was still looking at him. Qi Leren realized that he had been thinking for too long, but he couldn't give a convincing answer. He felt that saying the truth would be a bit nauseating, so he responded to him with a saint-like smile: "Because I want to get the Best of the Day, one million dollars."

He Yi: "..............."

He Yi didn't seem to want to dwell on this problem anymore. After his mood stabilized, he told Qi Leren what had happened between him and Mark when he’d returned to the basement of Jing Siyu’s house with the axe.

"Mark's eyes began to bleed. I thought he had hit his head and caused intracranial hemorrhaging. He was scared to death. After all, we don't have any medical equipment. If the situation was serious, he would die. But soon, I found that something was wrong. Mark's eyes turned white, and he was convulsing like crazy. After about half a minute, he returned to normal and woke up. I asked him what was wrong. He didn't answer me. He looked at me with a strange look... " As He Yi recalled that look, his body shivered unconsciously." It was a kind of... waking up from hibernation. A monster's eyes."

Qi Leren’s back suddenly felt cold.

"The reason why the octopus can multiply on such a large scale anywhere in the universe is that once they parasitize intelligent creatures, they will first paralyze the brain of the host and acquire all the knowledge of the individual, including common sense, at an alarming rate. The consciousness of the host itself cannot compete with it. The terrible thing about it is that once it begins to parasitize, it learns to disguise itself. It will follow this individual's way of thinking, tone of speech, walking posture, and even micro-expressions... Only it knows that this is imitation, and everyone will think that this is the host itself."

"What about Mark?"

"There’s a process in the octopus’s parasitism. As I said just now, after entering the human body, it will paralyze the host's brain first, and over the next eight to ten hours, it will madly capture the host's body. At that time, there will be a short period of strangeness, and Mark's eyes bled during this period. Next, the amphioctopus completely occupies his brain, entrenched in it. After more than 20 hours after entering the body, the amphioctopus will develop from larva to a mature body and will begin to replicate itself. Mark was the first infected person, and the infection time was roughly before midnight on the first day..."

He Yi's words reminded Qi Leren of another thing. He asked, "What did you want to say to me when we were waiting for Mark outside Annie's house?"

He Yi gave a wry smile: "I want to say that on the first night, I saw Mark and Annie go to the church. And Janet and Alex, they’re dating... It’s too late to say this now."

Qi Leren nodded: "Go on."

"I had seen his eyes bleeding. At that time, he had already been captured by the octopus... He held me hostage and tied me up in the attic. I never thought of the reason, and wondered how he dared to do such a thing in front of the camera. After that, Mark left the attic and talked to Annie. I vaguely heard some words. They seemed to want me to be the next object of sacrifice... At that time... I... didn't understand what the sacrifice was... I thought it was a cult sacrifice... I broke the rope, found the entrance to the basement, and entered the basement through the pipe. Mark found that I had run away and chased me down. I also found explosives and wanted to kill him to escape. As a result, I accidentally revealed the passage behind the wall and entered here."

"But Annie shouldn’t be infected. I knocked her out when I searched the basement just now. If she was parasitized, she wouldn't be knocked out so easily by me, would she?" Qi Leren asked.

He Yi asked: "How did you knock her out?"

"Hitting the nape of her neck."

"Let me think about it... If she was parasitized for no more than one day, it would still be in her brain and wouldn’t have swallowed her internal organs. I remember that at this stage, it may cause the host to be unconscious for a short time." He answered, and continued, "after entering this institute, I found some information. I couldn't read the text, but the picture above linked to Annie and Mark, and I finally put everything together. But it's too late... By now, it's the fourth day. According to the way the octopuses breed, they grow and multiply each day. There is only one on the first day, then two on the second day, and four on the third day. On the fourth day, that is, this evening, their number will surge to eight!"

Eight... This was too much!

Qi Leren thought about it. It was Mark who was infected on the first night, Mark infected Xue Jiahui on the second night, and Mark and Xue Jiahui infected one person respectively on the third night, one of whom was probably Annie.

In this way, Annie was infected for only one day at most.

Fortunately, otherwise, when they had been in the basement, Qi Leren would have faced a hard battle.

Was this the use for bringing two people with EX luck? Qi Leren couldn't help but come up with such a thought.

But tonight, these four octopuses would infect four people again... The time left for him was running out.

He Yi looked at Qi Leren, and the look of horror became more and more dignified: "The octopus has another characteristic... Once the number of octopuses in a closed environment is greater than the number of hosts, the mature octopuses will give up the slow one-on-one infection and start ‘competition'."

"...Competition?" Qi Leren suddenly felt a chill.

He Yi shivered, lowered his voice, and said, "Because the number of parasitic hosts is less than the number of parasites, they will... break out of the body... and, to store energy for hibernation, they begin hunting the humans."

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secretsniper3 · 3 years

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Late for Class

“Im going to be late! Again! Why cant I wake up on time, stupid alarm clock, Im breaking it when I get home I swear!”

“Looks like your going to be in debt a while Anna!” He says with a smile forcing a pathetic growl from my open mouth.

Getting changed I don't feel very hungry.. considering the “Meal” I had earlier I just go to bed early, Resting my throbbing ass is all I need to focus on and that needs sleep.

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mssleepy876b · 3 years

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Family Ties Chapter 5

Summary: Family can be a positive and negative force in one's life. Detective Jay Halstead knows that personally and he helps a new Intelligence family member through it.

Requested? No. But promised @resanoona that I would post mine once she posted hers.

Word count: 1734

Warnings: domestic violence, PTSD possible

A/n: Unedited Sorry for any mistakes

Family Ties Chapter 5

Brielle’s father and Hank continued their discussion as the rest of Hank’s unit helped Brielle relax. “Damn it, Hank. It’s Brie. Why the hell didn’t you call me before? She’s been with your unit for hours.” He said sitting down on the couch in Hank’s office taking his head in his hands.

Hank moved to sit near him. “Jack, I didn’t know she was your Brie until I reached out to you. We didn’t have her name or address until about 8 this morning. Then I still didn’t want to assume until I saw her face to face and saw Alice looking back at me. I wasn’t with her when she cleared out of DiLeone’s place. Two of my detectives were. They helped her clear out photos, clothes she wanted, jewelry, and documents. They were looking over her documents in the last 20 minutes to see if they could find a way to get her on her feet and support herself without him. He was a leech. Her checks from the Center went to his accounts. Her cards, documents, and ID were all in his safe. He had his guys following her everywhere. She was never alone. Bet she never got to talk to you without him, did she?”

“I didn’t see it, Hank. I should have. I feel like I failed her. I should have gotten her out before he put his hands on her.” Jack said shaking his head.

Hank put his hand on Jack’s shoulder. “Trust me, Jack. I’ve been there. I have lost Camille, then Justin, and Erin moved to New York. My team and I will not let anything happen to Brie now that she is with us. She is family now. Michael is already in lockup. We are processing the paperwork for her formal statement; we have the medical documentation from Med. He is not going to see the streets for a while. Plus, I’ve been thinking, we have an opening here for a civilian administrative assistant. Her skills fit that bill plus who knows what else she can help with. It would make my team happy; Halstead seems to have taken her under his wing. It would let her rebuild her life on her own in Chicago and you would know someone was watching out for her.” Hank said.

“I won’t let her feel forced into anything, Hank. It has to be her choice. If this is it, I know she will be safe. You and Halstead have reputations for being out for blood if they hurt anyone close to you according to my old contacts.” Jack said.

“I promise we will let her decide. Dr. Choi warned me as did Halstead she shows signs of possible PTSD, so we are being cautious. She has built a trust with Halstead and Upton. The other girls just met her. We will keep her safe, Jack, I swear it. You know how protective of family I get.” Hank said. “Do you want to try to see her?” he asked standing.

Jack nodded and they left the office. Hailey, Kim, and Vanessa were talking to Brie making her feel comfortable and secure. They entered and saw the girls together. Brie was partially smiling. Brie’s eyes met her father’s and she paled slightly. “Dad?” she whispered.

“Hiya, Princess.” He said as Hailey, Kim, and Vanessa all turned to see him and Hank at the door.

Brie stood and went to her father who met her halfway and pulled her into a hug. Hailey, Kim, and Vanessa quietly slid out as Brie and her dad reunited. He helped her sit on the couch. “What did the Doctors at Med say, Brie?” he asked her as he held her hand.

“Dr. Choi said I was lucky. Nothing major other than bruising. It could have been so much worse, Dad. I swear he had never hit me before, Dad. He had yelled, thrown things, but never put his hands on me until last night. I ran once I could. Found my way here. I guess Detective Halstead saw me first. He made me feel safe. He has helped me with the dreams and memories too. It is so scary, Dad.” She said leaning against his shoulder.

“I’m so grateful that you are safe, Brie. When I went to the house and couldn’t find you or your pictures, or your personal stuff in your sitting room, I was scared out of my wits. Michael wouldn’t answer my calls. I knew you weren’t at work because I had gone there before the house. I had no clue where you were, but I knew something was up when I saw your engagement ring was sitting on the table with your house keys.” He said holding her closer.

They sat together for a few moments before Jack spoke up. “It must be luck that you ended up here with Voight’s unit. He and I worked together years ago. I knew him back when he met his late wife Camille. They were great friends of your mom’s and mine. We had lost touch after Camille’s passing due to cancer. I thought he had hidden you from me at first when I got here. That is why I was yelling. I’m sorry we upset you, Brie. But I must say that Detective has quite a backbone to stand up to both Hank and I for you. It was very surprising.” He said.

Brie smiled. “He seems like a good man, Dad. Everyone seems to respect him. Even at Med, they respected him and his brother there.” She said quietly.

Jack moved to look in Brie’s eyes. “You know you can’t go back to the Charity Center, right, Brie?”

“I do. I hate it. I loved that job. But it would be too easy for Michael to find me.” She said.

“Hank had an idea. They need an administrative assistant/office manager up here in Intelligence. He thought your skills might be a good fit and it would give you a chance to get back on your feet in a place where you feel safe around people you know.” Jack said.

“But where will I stay, Dad? I can’t come to you and mom. He will look there first. I can’t risk you getting harmed. I don’t have any money right now. He took it all. Convinced me to let him handle it all.” Brie said with tears in her eyes.

“Let me talk to Hank. See what we can do temporarily for you until you can get funds on your own and Michael has been formally charged.” Jack said rubbing her arm as she pulled away from him. She nodded and watched as he stepped into Hank’s office next door.

Hank and Jack had Brie stay with Hank for a few days. It was nice for Hank to revisit the memories with Brielle and Jack. Alice came into town the next day to join them and helped Jack and Brielle as Brielle began to heal from her injuries. Hank smiled coming home that next day once Alice arrived. He missed the feel of friends in his house and Alice’s warmth reminded him of Camille. Alice was grateful to Hank and would ensure that they all had meals at night until they could find Brie a place to set up as her own and feel safe with.

Brielle spent a few sessions with Dr. Charles from Med who helped her move past her assault as well as the controlling behavior Michael had used to isolate her with. He helped her create a plan for rebuilding her life and moving past the memories. She started to feel more solid and stable in her life.

The intelligence unit had taken Brie under their wings and introduced her to the groups at Molly’s and widened her circle of friends she could get help from. She found them all warm and made her feel as if she was safe again. She began to search out a new life for herself and knew that her place seemed to be at the 21st with the intelligence unit.

Kim, Hailey, and Vanessa all took Brie under their wing and she quickly felt like part of the girls’ group which at times included the girls from 51’s 2ndshift and Med’s ED. Brie decided to take the position in Intelligence if Hank would allow it. She enjoyed this group of people who seemed to want to help her and let her create her own life while having her back if she needed them. Jay became a familiar face for Brielle and Brie found in him a kind person that she could respect and feel like a man that she would be proud to call a friend.

Hank and Trudy quickly got the paperwork set for her to take the job in Intelligence. Brie quickly had things organized and ready to go and at the Unit’s fingertips any time it was needed thanks to her skills from the Charity office. She also had managed to assist the unit with her accounting skills to track down how a payment had been made during a case. She had an apartment of her own that she was able to rent not far from Jay’s and was beginning to feel like her life was her own.

Only once had Brie heard from Angelo DiLeone. His message told her that Michael’s actions were not approved of and the family would not keep him from serving the sentence he had received. She felt a little more reassured since Angelo had never lied to her and had said more than once that she was someone he respected even if others didn’t.

Michael had yet to find her or even contact her. She still screened her phone calls as well as watched her surroundings for suspicious activity. Jay, Hank, and Hailey taught her skills to help her feel safer. Hailey had actually helped her learn self-defensive techniques that she felt would help in an emergency.

She had rebuilt her relationship with her parents only seeing them in Chicago when they chose to come once she had finished her recovery at Hank’s. They always met out in public and never at her apartment as she knew the time would come when Michael would be out of prison and she feared that he would only want revenge.

#jay halstead fanfiction #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead imagines

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bruh--wtf · 3 years

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The Message

Thomas x Reader

The Death Cure - I am writing for all three movies I suggest reading the first two parts of the series first. I know, it's long, but I'm having fun writing these.

Summary: The gladers need to get Minho back. And they're going through with Thomas's plan to take down WCKD. Things aren't at all simple.

Part 20

Main Masterlist

Previous Next

Maze Runner Masterlist

You all tried your best to blend into the shadows. But that's hard when security is patrolling every street and half the walls are made of glass.

"They definitely upped security. I'm guessing you shanks have something to do with that," Gally suggests.

You all started running towards a shorter wall and Gally and Thomas help Newt hop it first. Then you. You grabbed Newt's hand, him helping you up. He wavered a little bit, and you looked down at his arm.

"You sure you're-"

"Yes! I'm fine!" He says. You look at him surprised by how angry he sounded. You look down to see Thomas hopping up without Gally's help. Then Gally climbs up.

Walking on the outskirts of the wall, you all eventually made it to the top of a building.

"There it is," Gally says. "If WCKD's got Minho, that's where they're keeping him." You look over at the bright blue building.

Gally pulls out something and mounts it on the pole. "Laurence has been trying to find a way in for years. Place is crawling with soldiers. Surveillance everywhere. Scanners on every floor."

You all lean on the bars, looking over at the building. Your head was going to be killing you by the time you got back to the others. But now, it wasn't that bad.

"Sounds like a fortress," you say. "I thought you said you had a way in, Gally."

"I might." You turn to look at him and so does Thomas.

"You might? The hell do you mean might?" Gally steps back.

"Take a look," Gally says. Thomas walks over and looks through the telescope. He lets out a breath. "I said I had a way in. I didn't say you were gonna like it."

Back with the others, Thomas shakes his head. "No, there's gotta be another way in."

"Like what? You've seen the building. She is our only way in," Gally says. You were standing next to Newt, thinking.

"You really think she's gonna want to help us?"

"I don't plan on asking her permission," Gally says.

"Am I missing something here? This is the same girl who betrayed us, correct?" Brenda asks, looking at you. You nod, and let out a breath.

"Yup, the one and only," you say, leaning your elbows on the table. She looks at Thomas.

"What's goin on?" Brenda asks. Thomas doesn't say anything.

"What, are you afraid your little girlfriend's gonna get hurt?" Newt asks. You look at him. He looked annoyed. "Hmm? This has never been just about rescuing Minho, has it?"

Thomas turns to Newt. "Newt, what are you talking about?"

"Teresa! She's the only reason Minho is even missing in the first place, and now we finally have the chance to get him back and what? You don't want to because of her?" Newt started getting in Thomas's face, pushing him back towards the wall. "Because deep down inside you still care about her, admit it."

"Newt, I don't-" Newt cuts him off, shoving him up against the wall.

"Don't lie to me! Dont. Lie. To me." Then he steps back. He looked at Thomas like he was surprised by what he had just done. You stared at Newt. No matter what, in the galde and out here, Newt was always the mediator. Alby and you could both let your emotions get the best of you sometimes, and he was the clear head. You'd never seen Newt that mad at someone else before. Especially a glader. Newt looks back at all of you.

"I'm sorry." He walks off. After a minute, you follow him. You go and sit on the ledge next to him.

"Are you okay? Tell me the truth, Newt," you say, looking at him. He looks over at you and lets out a breath. He glances behind you and you see Thomas coming over. He looks back at Thomas.

"Sorry about that. Back there." You continued to look at Newt. "Guess I can't hide this anymore." He rolls up his sleeve revealing a crank scratch. Your mouth falls open and you look up at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Thomas asks.

"Didn't think it would make any difference. All I know is that WCKD must have put me in that maze for a reason. Maybe it was just so they could tell the difference between immunes like you and people like me," Newt says to Thomas.

You lick your lips. "We can still fix it, Newt," you say. He shakes his head.

"Did I ever tell you about when I broke my leg?" He asks Thomas. "I know you know it happened, but you don't know how," he says to you. "It was way back in the maze. I'd just come up from the box. Like all the others. Didn't know where I was, didn't know who I was, you know. You know even with all my memories gone I could still feel that something was missing. You know?" You watch him and nod slightly. "I felt empty. I just... I couldn't hack that. Couldn't take it. So one morning I got up early. Snuck out into the maze. I went and I found the tallest wall I could. And I climbed up there and... I jumped off it."

You gape at Newt. You never knew that. "Of course I got completely tangled up in the ivy. Snapped my leg in three different places. Like a proper shank. Landed hard on the floor. I thought that was it." He pauses. "Then Minho found me. Somehow. Carried me back to the glade. Never told anyone what really happened. He saved me, gave me a second chance." You watch as Newt looks at Thomas. "Now he needs us, so if there is even the slightest chance that we can save him? We can get him out of there, then we have to take that. No matter what the cost."

"Okay, I hear you," Thomas says. Newt nods and looks back down at his arm. You kept looking at him, and after a moment you leaned on him, putting your head on his shoulder as you all looked up at the wall.

That night you all came up with a plan. And soon it was happening.

You watched from a distance as Thomas tricked Teresa into following him. "Thomas!" She calls. Just then he rounds the corner, and that's where you and Galy were. You all run quickly to your hiding places. You didn't know why you were there. You didn't need to be. And you kind of hated it. But Thomas asked you to. God, what is wrong with you? Where Teresa comes and looks around, Thomas comes out of his.

"Thomas."

"Hey, Teresa."

"You shouldn't be here. If Janson finds out you're here-"

"I'm not here to stay. It's just, uh, had to see you," he says, walking up to her. "I have to ask you something. Do you regret it? What you did to us?"

"Sometimes," she says. "But I did what I thought was right. I'd do it again." Thomas nods slightly.

"Got it," he says. He nods at Gally who comes out behind her and grabs her. You watch him drag her and Thomas goes over to you. He looked sad, but he nodded towards Gally. "Come on," he says. You nod following them as you all made it back.

Gally unhoods her and she stares at him. She looks at Thomas, who was sitting a little further away from her. You and Newt were sitting down next to him. Frypan standing behind you.

"Gally?" She sounded surprised. You didn't blame her.

"Here's how this is going to go. We're gonna ask you some questions, and you're gonna tell us exactly what we need to know. Start off simple," Gally says and grabs a chair. "Where's Minho?" She looks at Thomas.

"You guys don't seriously think that-" Gally slams the chair down, sitting on it backwards, so he was still facing her.

"Don't look at him. Why are you looking at him? Look at me," Gally says. "He's not gonna help you." Thomas looks up and over at her. You turned to look at Gally and Teresa again. "Now we know that you have him in the building. Where?" She pauses for a second before looking at Gally again.

"He's with the others in holding. Sub level three."

"How many others?" Newt asks. Teresa hesitates, avoiding looking at Newt.

"Twenty eight," she says shakily. Gally looks back at Brenda who nods.

"I can make that work." She was playing cards with Jorge.

"No, no you guys don't understand. The whole level's restricted. You can't get in without a thumbprint ID." You nod along with her words, drawing her attention back over to you and Thomas.

"That's why you're coming with us," you say when she's done.

"Well, I don't know. We don't necessarily need her. Right?" He stands up, walking to the table. "Not all of her." He grabs a knife. "We just need her finger."

"Gally, back off," Thomas says.

"What are you squeamish? I guarantee you she's done a lot worse to Minho," he says.

"I said, back off," Thomas says, grabbing the knife.

"Won't make a difference. Do whatever you want to me. You still won't get through the front door. The sensors will pick you up as soon-"

"We know. We're tagged. Property of WCKD," Thomas says and walks over to her. He crouches down next to her. "You're gonna help us with that too."

You sat there with Teresa behind you. The guys wanted to go first. Make sure she didn't kill them before letting you go. Gally could probably care less, but the others insisted. You watched looked over at Thomas and the others.

"Try to relax." You scoff slightly.

"You're behind me with a knife. I'll try my best," you say sarcastically. She lets out a breath, and presses the knife to your neck. You close your eyes, taking a sharp breath.

"I was hoping I'd see you again, you know," she says quietly. You chuckle slightly.

"Oh yeah? Can't say the same," you say.

"I was hoping because I wanted to tell you..." she pauses, taking the knife away and starting to try and clean it a little bit. "Jack is doing great." You quickly turn your head to face her. You wince, and hold a hand up to your neck.

"Shit." You stand up, looking at her. She sighs, sitting there.

"He's eleven now. We've been working with him. He's not being tested on. He's shaping up to be a very smart boy," she says. You continued to stare at her.

"Working with him?" Your little brother... was working with WCKD. Well, shit. Thomas comes over.

"What's going on?"

"I thought you'd be happy to hear that he's okay," Teresa says. You roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I'm enthused," you say, sarcasm still in your voice. You turn your back on her, walking away. Thomas was up after you anyways. You go over and sit next to Gally.

"What was that about?" Frypan asks. You crossed your arms, looking down. You didn't answer him. You were thinking. The little boy from your dreams... the boy who once was the reason you were alive... he was being trained by the people trying to kill you.

Not long after, Newt hands you guys clothes. You take yours, going to go change. When you get back, you see Thomas and Teresa standing and Gally walking up to them.

"Everything okay over here?" He asks. Thomas nods.

"Yeah, we're done," Thomas says and turns away. You were close enough that you saw Teresa's hand move towards the tray that had her knives on it. You grab her wrist.

"Careful there. Wouldn't want you to get hurt," you say. She looks at you. You nod at Gally. The others go to change and you were stuck with Teresa.

"Jack talks about you," she says. You don't look at her but she knew you were listening. "He always asks when he can see you. How you are. If you'll be back soon. He keeps saying that you promised that you'd-" you stand up, kicking her legs out from underneath her.

"Shut the hell up," you say. She managed to not hit her head and land pretty much okay. She looked unscathed. That was your goal. Can't have her looking damaged. She stares up at you and glances behind you. You turn and see the guys coming back.

"What the hell was that?" Gally asks. You roll your eyes.

"Doesn't matter. Lets just do this, yeah?" You say, walking past them. Not even glancing back at Teresa.

#tmr teresa #tmr newt #tmr thomas #tmr imagine #tmr frypan #tmr brenda #tmr series #tmr #tmr gally #wckd #thomas x reader #thomas maze runner #the maze runner #the scorch trials #the death cure

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harrys-reverie · 4 years

Text

DOG YEARS // Harry Styles O.U.

*PREVIEW*

A/N: Hello! I’m new to all of this so give me a break, I’m learning. This story is basically a concept I have been imagining for years. I think this is the love story with Harry I would love to have, if I could. Enjoy this small excerpt -- let’s get excited for this story!!! Will be posting a story page soon. Like and reblog if you’re interested and I will tag you in the first chapter coming later tonight!! :)

PART 1 IS UP NOW CLICK HERE: https://harrys-reverie.tumblr.com/post/626199297194639360/dog-years-harry-styles-ou

STORY PAGE // PART 1

HARRYS POV

I rushed up to my bedroom, shutting the door and entering the attached bathroom. I neatly undressed myself, taking a deep stare in the mirror. I looked at myself hard, the alcohol was still in my system so I appeared a little fuzzy. I felt older, my hairline was not what it used to be in the 1D days, it didn't bother me but I had seen some tweets about it. My facial hair was growing in kind of unevenly, this is what I get for wanting to be independent and not have a stylish take care of how I look. I preferred it that way though, that's how it should be.

Sighing, I went for the toothbrush and started on my nightly routine. I wanted to create a new set of routine now that I was becoming accustomed into this place I'd be calling 'home' for the next four months.

After freshening up, I let my body get underneath the cool covers, pulling them up high up to my neck to keep me warm. I stared at my phone that was sitting on the wooden table side. I always kept my phone on Do Not Disturb when I was taking time off for myself. Seeing a bunch of missed calls and emails stressed me out, and I wanted to detach from all that. I let out a puff of air, knowing what I'd be seeing if I decided to take a look at my phone. But the alcohol that was left in me couldn't hold back so I reached for it anyways.

I quickly opened up the safari tab and typed my own name, something I was never keen on doing. I hadn't done it for weeks actually, but I knew there was a part of me that needed to see what was being said. Just like that, a bunch of highlights of new articles and my name as well as hers were everywhere.

"Fuck.." I sighed, closing my eyes shut for a second. "Why.."

Camille Rowe, model and famed ex girlfriend of musician and heartthrob Harry Styles releases tell all book — including steamy details of her former romance with the star!

Click. I waited for the page to load, nervously biting my lower lip.

"There's a lot of things we should thank Camille Rowe for — her Vogue tips on how to achieve the perfect Parisian makeup look, inspiring the fabulous Harry Styles Fine Line album and now releasing a book telling us ALL about her old relationship with the man himself!

Details in the book delve deep into her once what seemed great, but now known doomed relationship with the singer. She mentions details of cheating, jealously and what Harry's really like in the bed. Thanks Camille — you've answered all of our questions. Turns out, Harry is just as packed as we thought he would be!"

I couldn't read it anymore, I felt humiliated and invaded of my privacy. Privacy. The one thing I valued most in my life, the one thing I hold onto like it is the most precious jewel in the world. Privacy — the one thing Camille knew was the most important aspect of my life. I grew up in the spotlight, placed under a huge amount of pressure and scrutiny. I felt as if I was made from a testing tube so specially to fit into a mold of a person I wasn't.

For so long in my life I had felt as if people knew everything about me, even more than I did — and that's a harsh feeling. I regained that privacy back after leaving the band and learned how to maintain a healthy balance of showcasing who I was to the world but holding back at the same time. It was what made my albums, my art, so special. Making my songs and putting them out there was my own personal invitation to those who listened, to get a glimpse into my life.

I felt sick and the alcohol in my stomach stirred the more I thought about that damn book.I was getting older, and alcohol didn't clique with my body the way it used to. I opened my messages up, seeing Camille's name at almost the top of my list of new messages, probably trying to apologize. What she should have done was ask if I was comfortable with her releasing a book that almost solely focused on our past relationship. A relationship that was well done with for almost 3 years now. For fucks sake, I'd always have love for the lady, but she never knew when she took things too far. I finally felt at peace and fully over her, and here she was ambushing my life and swiping away my beloved privacy.

I swiped left on the unopened messages, deleting them before even reading. I had to focus on the positive, that's why I was here in the countryside after all. I hadn't answered my publicist since the damn book came out last week, I didn't even know where to start or what to stay. I wanted to keep silent, MIA.

Tonight with Colette though, I forgot about it all. She was stunning, there was no denying that. Funny too, and a little shy. She didn't come off star struck by my presence, she treated me like any bloke off the street. Normal. Dropping her off at her cottage tonight, after spending the past few hours with her bloody gorgeous face, I wanted to snog her face off. Was I getting too old to be acting that way? I didn't want to scare her off though, and that wasn't really my style anymore.

Hookups and shit. The amount of one night stands from my days in the band were shameful. Thinking back to having security bring girls we thought were hot to our hotel rooms for a quick fuck, was so common back then, it was insane. It was a part of my life that I felt deep regret for, and sickened me to think about. I was young, horny, and willing to give my body up to any girl. Most of the time, I felt awkward. I'd see a girl at the bar in a fancy hotel we were at, I wouldn't even say a word to her, 20 minutes later I was back in my room, waiting for my security to drop her off for an hour or so. No phones, sign an NDA, show ID of proof of legal age, be my type and bam, she got to be fucked by Harry Styles.

Things were so much different now, I focused more on making those connections, I found it built more of an attraction. The lead up to the sex or the relationship, was now my favorite thing. After years of getting instant sex, waiting for it had now become the best part.

I shook my head, brushing away these invasive thoughts I wanted to avoid and memories I wanted to forget. Switching off the lamp beside me and placing my phone on charge, I dozed off.

#dogyears dogyearsmasterlist #harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles ff #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut #1dff #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #harry styles x ofc #one direction fanfiction #friends to lovers

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snowdice · 4 years

Text

Road Trips and Missing Persons (Part 6)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Patton & Virgil, Virgil & Deceit, Logan & Patton, Emile & Remy, Roman & Remus & Janus

Characters: Patton, Virgil, Deceit, Remus, Roman, Logan, Emile, Remy

Summary: Patton was just getting groceries. The next thing he knew, there was a knife at his throat and he was an unwilling uber driver. Virgil’s on the run after the murder of his dad, and it’s not just his paranoia that’s telling him he’s being chased down. He has to get somewhere safe, somewhere he can trust, and all he has is a couple of stories from his dad and a name: “Green Bellow Foods and Dispensary.”

Notes: Secret Agents AU, knives, carjacking, kidnapping, murder mentioned, guns mentioned, pepper spray, blood mentioned, drugs mentioned (more to be added)

This is a fic I’ve been writing on study breaks that you have probably all already seen at this point. I’ve affectionately named it the Goblin Brain Fic because it’s helping my brain actually get motivated for studying. I’ve slightly edited it for wording and grammar, but not for content from my previous posts. Feel free to send in asks to direct it because I’m not 100% sure where this is going and you can help decide if you feel so inclined! You can see the process I went through to build this at this link.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 My Master Post

Roman and Remus piled into Janus’s car to head to the grocery store. It was pulled into Remy Gate’s driveway and only a few feet away whereas Roman had parked down the street and Remus had likely parked somewhere nearer to the park not that Roman cared to get into that death trap. (His father and Remus had built it together when Roman and Remus had been 14 and Roman loved them both dearly and dad was smart, but he wasn’t an engineer or mechanic and Remus was a beacon of chaos. It did not matter that the car had managed to hold up for almost 10 years whereas Roman was on his third car. He still would never trust the dammed thing. Ever.)

Janus’s car was the exact opposite of Remus’s. Roman wasn’t very good with cars, but even he could tell it was an expensive one (that was likely not constructed by a teenager and his dad in a garage) with no dents or rust and it still had that new car smell when he got inside. Roman could probably buy his apartment complex for how much money the thing was worth.

Yet, despite that, Remus seemed familiar with the car. He hopped straight into the passenger seat and started pushing buttons, the functions of which Roman did not know. One thing he did understand was the dials for the radio and that when Remus tapped the saved radio station under the 3rd slot, it switched to Remus’s favorite channel.

Remus then leaned back against the seat and put his feet up on the dash.

“Why do you have to be this?” Janus asked sounding exhausted the moment he opened the driver’s side door and the very intense bagpipe music met his ears. He reached into the car to slap Remus’s calves.

Remus didn’t move them but just smiled. “It’s piobaireachd day,” he said happily.

Janus shook his head and moved to sit down. He yelped immediately and shot forward on the seat. “You turned on the seat massagers?!”

“Of course, I turned on the seat massagers, Jay.”

“Ugh I don’t want those things on.” He started pushing buttons himself.

The hazard lights came on as well as the windshield wipers and some beeping started up. “Ugh! Remus! How do you turn these things off?” He slammed a hand against the dashboard and lights in the back suddenly were blinding Roman. “Stupid piece of scrap metal!”

Remus batted his hands away and put the car to rights again rather quickly. Janus mumbled a couple more curses under his breath but didn’t do anything more as he put the car into reverse and started driving down the street.

“Okay,” he said once they were moving, his creepily calm attitude back in place again.

So, this was Remus’s partner? Roman of course knew a bit more about what Remus did than most of the other people in the agency considering Remus was his brother. Not to mention, they were both the sons of Logan Sanders so if they wanted to talk about anything when they got together to have dinner every other Saturday, it was probably going to end up being about the covert spy operations everyone went on. (Dad pretended not to be a gossip, but at the end of the day…) So, Roman knew that Remus was a triple agent. He pretended to spy on dad for Barbara Nelsen when he was actually spying on Nelson for dad.

Roman also knew a bit about his partner. Remus had even let slip the nickname Jay a couple of times and talked affectionately about him. Janus was a double agent turning on Nelson to work for dad. However, Roman had not been aware that Janus was Nelson’s son, a fact which he’d surmised since Janus had said his mother killed Remy.

Which was… hmm. Obviously, dad had to know that information and trusted him enough to take his word as a double agent, but it still gave Roman a bit of pause. Not to mention, he was clearly a cold and efficient a liar which served to put Roman even more on edge.

The only thing keeping Roman from insisting they leave him was the way he acted around Remus. Remus had provided the only cracks in his carefully constructed calm but vicious front. Every time Remus did or said something Remusy, Janus would give him one of those fondly exasperated looks that only Remus could provoke, and they seemed to be more than just partners, but friends.

So, Roman was going to choose to trust him for a moment, attributing the roughness to his missing brother.

“What’s the plan?” Janus asked when they pulled into the grocery store’s parking lot.

“I have an FBI agent ID,” Roman said. “I can go push for information at the front desk.”

Janus nodded and his fingers tapped twice against the steering wheel before he stopped the nervous tick. “He might also hide outside the store. There is a small creek behind the store he used to go get muddy in. He will be, well… maybe he will be less likely to run from me and I know the area so I’ll check there. Remus can check inside the store while you ask around.”

“Okay, that works,” Roman agreed. “Meet back at the car afterwards?”

Janus nodded as he pulled into a parking spot. Remus slapped Janus on the shoulder before exiting the car and got a scowl at his back in return.

Roman shook his head and followed them out of the car. Janus separated from them a few feet before the door to the grocery store and Remus and Roman entered the store together.

“I’mma go check out the store,” Remus said.

“Okay, don’t do anything stupid,” Roman said as he walked away. He got a flippant wave in return. “Remus! Don’t do anything stupid, please!” And… he was gone. Roman shook his head and turned, searching for the front desk.

He reached for his wallet and smiled at the employee at the front desk. “Hello ma’am,” he said. “I’m looking for someone and I was hoping you’d help me.” He pulled out his only sortof fake FBI ID to show her.

“I’m looking for a teenager who has gone missing and is connected to a case and we have reports that he may have come in here. Perhaps you’ve seen him,” Roman said. He took out his phone to show her the picture of Virgil that he’d been sent only to find that his screen had been cracked and it wouldn’t turn on, likely damaged in the fight with Janus. Great. He looked back up the woman. “I apparently don’t have a picture to show you at the moment, but you’ve possibly seen him before as he lives in the neighborhood. “Virgil Gates?”

He got a blank stare in return.

Fantastic.

He spent another 15 or so minutes trying to explain to the woman who he was looking for (a difficult task as all he had to go off of was the memory of one picture that he’d been sent an hour ago) and getting shrugs and apologies in response. Eventually he left and looked around the store for a bit himself. His brother was suspiciously absent from everywhere Roman looked.

Eventually he wandered back to the front by himself only to see Remus coming from the checkout with a bag full of snack foods.

Roman crossed his arms. “You were supposed to be looking for a missing minor, not shopping.”

“Chill,” Remus said making Roman want to do the opposite of ‘chill,’ “I looked for the kid and shopped at the same time. I even got Cheetos!” he smiled widely as they left the store. “Also, I broke into their security office!”

“You what?!” Roman asked.

“I broke into their security office,” Remus repeated happily.

“And why,” Janus asked tiredly while walking up to them, “did you do that.”

“To get the security camera footage, duh,” he said pointing at a camera near the top of the door. “I figured he might have not gone inside, but the neighbor said he headed in this direction, so that thing probably saw him.”

“That’s actually pretty smart,” Roman said. “Though we probably could have just asked.”

Remus shrugged. “Luckily they apparently save security footage to a cloud and I was able to download it pretty easily. We should be able to see everything that happened inside and outside the grocery store in the last two hours assuming you’ve got something to watch it on.”

Janus nodded and led them back to his car where he took a laptop out of his trunk. Remus downloaded the footage and then handed it over to Janus. “You’ll be able to spot him best since you know what he looks like better than us.”

It took almost 20 minutes of Janus watching the surveillance video for him to find what he was looking for. “Got him,” he said. Roman leaned over to get a good look at the screen. The video feed was a bit blurry, but he could see a lanky teenager with dark hair running to the grocery store parking lot. He took a break when he got there and looked behind him probably to make sure he hadn’t been followed. Then he found a bush to hid behind. They watched for a few minutes until finally he hopped back up and started walking towards a car.

“What’s he doing?” Roman asked as the boy on the camera glanced around himself to make sure nobody was watching before starting to fiddle with something.

“Oh god,” Janus groaned, “why did I teach him how to pick a car lock? Emile was right.”

They watched as he managed to pop the door open to the stranger’s car and slipped inside. Not even 5 minutes later, a man with grocery bags got into the front seat though it was too blurry to see who he was or the license plate on the car. The car drove out of the parking lot after a few more minutes.

“God dammit, Virgil,” Janus hissed and Roman barely saved the laptop from crashing to the ground. “Now he’s just in the back of some random person’s car!” he started pacing back and forth, steam practically pouring from his ears. Roman was almost scared for Virgil when Janus managed to find him because he looked ready to commit a murder. “That was over an hour ago. Who knows where he could be by now! Who knows what could have happened to him by now!” And, oh, Roman realized. He wasn’t angry. Not really. He was terrified. “What the hell am I supposed to do?!” he kicked the car fender, leaving a dent and then he kicked it again.

Then a phone rang in his pocket and he froze, all emotion draining off his face startlingly quickly. Roman was confused because he was pretty sure he’d seen Janus step on his phone earlier, but the one he pulled out now was a different type. He glanced at the caller ID and said, “it’s my mother.”

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 7

#sanders sides #remus sanders #roman sanders #janus sanders #creativitwins #emile picani #remy sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #platonic moxiety #knives #kidnapping #carjacking #murder mentioned #guns mentioned #adriana writes #road trips and missing persons

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queenieloveswriting · 4 years

Text

Little orange bottles

A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone

*beep beep beep*

Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.

Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!

You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner;

*DAISYS SCHEDULE*

6:30-wake up

6:45-shower

7:00-get ready

7:20-read

7:50-breakfast/pillz

8:00-head to Heywards

Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top covering just to the bottom of you skirt

You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.

Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.

“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose

“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.

“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed

“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked

“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.

Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”

As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.

“Sorry about them”he mumbled

“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.

He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again

“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged

“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked

“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”

You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.

“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex

Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.

You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.

After your last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.

“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.

It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.

You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years left. this was bad.

“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath

She glared swigging the bottle

“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted

“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“

“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed

“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation

“I’ll get another job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”

“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”

Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red.

“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“

Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.

she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect your arm wrapping it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship

So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie

“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone

“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered

“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”

“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“

He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”

“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “

“Fuck where are you daisy “

“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe

“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”

“O-okay”

Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you could hear pope shouting in the distance.

“Shit daisy”he shouted

“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”

Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being the one to calm you from them,/

“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes

“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.

He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.

where was your home now?.

“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?

Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe

“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.

“Your dad?”he answers for you

You nodded

“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes

Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting

“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed

“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion

You tore away from his gaze to the the floors

“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two

“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.

“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”

“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled

”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive

“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself

Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down.

“Why”he snapped

“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself

“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence.

You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare.

“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted

After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?

After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.

You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now

“Hey daisy” he broke the silence

“Hm”you humed

“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed

“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded

“Daisy”he sighed

“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder

“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded

“I’m know i Just”you paused

“I know”he cut in

“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”

“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised

Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone

“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine i don't think you’ll b--”

You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed

You popped your head through to the front

“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.

#jj #jj outer banks #jj imagine #jj x reader #jj maybank #outerbanks #obx #obxfic #pope heyward #jj x y/n #jj x oc #pope x yn #pope x reader #pope x oc lovetriangle?#newfic #anypotential whatsoever?#I HAVE A PT2 BC IT WAS SO FFFFFING LONG #LMK IF U WANT IT

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richiefuckfacetozier · 5 years

Text

Chapter 3: Winding Me Up Inside

Story: Why Can’t This Be Love

Click to read on Archive

Art of Eddie and Richie by @whatidoisxsecret

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

___

Eddie honked profusely at the car in front of him. Everyone had decided it was idiot day on the road as one of the bridges was down from a car fire. People were cutting him off or making illegal u-turns that almost hit his car. He ended up pulling over to grab a drink at a restaurant. He wasn’t very well going to die tonight if he could calm his nerves with alcohol instead. It was unfortunate that he left his pills at home, knowing they could calm him immediately but a gin and prune juice, his healthy alcoholic beverage of choice, would have to do the trick.

About a month had gone by since ‘The Arrangement’, something Richie had started calling their pretend dating. Eddie would’ve rather called it ‘The Nightmare’ but Richie wanted a positive outlook on the situation.

Eddie eyed a grungy bar next to a pizza joint that looked perfect to grab a cheap drink. However, upon further observation, there was a rainbow flag sticking out above the bar’s entrance. He blinked at it, took a step forward, then froze. His body had seized up at the prospect of going in.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there but a booming voice said, “You in or out?” Tossing him from a temporary mind blank.

“Huh?” Eddie focused on the bouncer standing by the entrance, who was ripped and large. He never understood having such intimidating people be the first greeting you encounter before entering a bar or club. Don’t these businesses want people to come in? “Oh...er...no no. Just searching for a place to drink.”

“Well, this is a bar.” The man eyed Eddie up and down, giving the impression of being humanly x-rayed. “Drinking is the main activity...among other things.” There was some prolonged eye contact between them that dried Eddie’s throat into a Sahara desert.

Eddie nodded shifting forward. He reached for his wallet, which had his ID, but his hand merely hovered over his slack's front pocket.

“Maybe another time?” The man suggested with a lighter tone. Eddie straightened up, nodded and walked away.

He just failed at that pretty spectacularly. What would Richie think? Probably that he was a chicken. This had been an extra hard month. With the realization, he may have stronger feelings toward guys than he had ever admitted to himself. He had stopped sleeping, barely ate, and secluded himself more.

Suddenly, the demise of his relationship with Myra was making more sense. When she used to touch him sensually, his skin crawled. He assumed that was from the years of his mother convincing him the world was a germ-infested blackhole, girls were dirty, and how he could never truly be clean. Except he rarely felt that way when Richie touched him. Or any of his friends. Sure, they had known each other for years, but he knew Myra for a long time too and it didn’t settle into a comfortableness that relationships were meant.

He tended to resist Myra’s kisses, fake not feeling good to get out of sex, and pushed her away constantly. Their break up had been devastating. At the time he believed it was because the love of his life left him. Now he knew the truth.

Eddie eventually got a drink at a bar a few blocks away. The drink refreshed and calmed him immediately. It’s funny how certain things relaxed him right away because he’d conditioned himself to feel that way. His mind began thinking about tomorrow, a chilling dread running up his neck. He scratched at the nape even though nothing truly itched.

He was seeing his friends for a pre-engagement party celebration. Just the seven of them. The thought almost made him break out into sweats. He downed his drink and ordered another. Usually, he would be extremely excited and thrilled to see the losers club, except the next step in the arrangement, was occurring. Eddie had to come out collectively to the group. A fake coming out but that fakeness was becoming authentic with every passing moment.

He wished there was someone he could talk this out with. There was Mike, but that felt wrong somehow. The one person he wanted to tell was Richie. What would he even say? There was a nightmare scenario he replayed every day that Richie would laugh in his face, which logically he would never do but Eddie’s attempts at controlling his imagination have never come to fruition.

While he was absently stirring his drink, his phone started ringing. A picture popped up on his screen of Richie lifting a screaming/laughing Eddie from behind. He took an extra second to remember the joyful memory, running a finger over the picture then answered.

He sighed into the phone, “Hey, Rich.”

“Where you at, gumdrop?” said Richie with an obvious smile in his voice.

“A bar. The traffic was crap, so I am waiting it out.”

“What’re you wearing?” He said suggestively.

Eddie frowned, huffing out, “Work clothes, why?”

Richie clicked his tongue, “Cause you are supposed to be at Beverly and Ben’s celebration extravaganza in,” quick pause where Eddie figured Richie was looking at his phone for the time, “20 minutes.”

“No, it is tomorrow.” Eddie insisted.

“No, my cutie patootie Eds, it is today.”

“No,” He said slowly. “It’s on Friday, you turd.”

A laugh came through the phone, “Today IS Friday.”

Eddie paused as horror sunk in fast and deep. “Oh shit…”

“Yeah, so see you at the restaurant!” Richie hung up, leaving Eddie to his panic.

He slapped down a $20 on the bar counter, despite the drink being less than half that and bolted out the door. He ran past the bouncer who shouted, “Don’t trip, kid!”

His car turned on with a roar then he zoomed out of the space. The traffic had significantly cleared which worked in his favor as his car swerved around dangerously. His heart pounded with adrenaline. When he pulled up in front of the restaurant, Richie was standing on the curb smoking a cigarette.

Eddie gave the valet his car keys, not even thinking about how much that would cost him at the end of the night, and hurried over to his friend.

“The prodigal son has returned!” Richie tossed the second half of his cigarette on the ground, stomping it out for good measure. As Eddie neared Richie wrapped an arm around his shoulders pulling them close together. The smell of smoke was both overwhelming and familiar. As much as Eddie despised the disgusting habit, he was so used to it that he could brush it off.

Eddie pushed on his chest to free himself a little but not enough to break contact. “I can’t believe I fucking forgot.”

“Take a minute to breathe, Eds. Where’s your head been at lately?” Richie asked in what he probably thought was a casual tone, except, Eddie knew better. His friend was really asking ‘Where have you been?' or 'Why are you isolating yourself?’.

Isolation was the only solution for hiding his emotions, which had been many and increasing each day he spent alone with his thoughts.

Instead of answering the question, Eddie shrugged and smiled lightly.

Richie reached up and pinched Eddie’s cheek with a “Cute, cute, cute!”

“Stop it, I hate that!”

He laughed, “You ready to do this?”

Eddie took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, “I can’t do this.”

“You CAN do this!” said Richie with excitement. “Just be yourself.”

“Fake coming out to my friends is the worst idea we’ve ever had. It is wrong.”

“What do you suggest then?”

Eddie nervously glanced at his feet, “I think we should just out ourselves to Bill like we planned next.”

“You think they are going to believe Bill without any pretense? No, you have to come out and it has to be tonight since it’ll be the only time we are all together before Beverly and Ben’s engagement party. If you steal her thunder in any way, she will murder. Who she’ll murder is unclear but it starts with Ed and ends with die. Hey! That was more clever than I intended.”

Eddie swallowed, “Alright, but Richie…”

He made a tracing motion toward the ground “There will be a chalk shaped Eddie on the ground with Beverly DNA everywhere. It’s going to work, Eds. I promise.”

“Don’t call me, Eds. Listen, Rich I…”

“Stop trying to come up with excuses! It’s going to be fine.”

“No, Richie! Just shut up a second!” His heart was beating out of his chest, he had to tell Richie what he had been going through or everything could be ruined. He had to give him an out if he wanted. Eddie shrugged off Richie’s arm, so they were facing each other. “I’ve been thinking that I...I…”

“Well, spit it out Eds. Thinking what?”

“I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE GUYS!”

Richie stood shocked and silent at first, just staring. Those ice-blue eyes hiding secrets and judgments that Eddie desperately wanted to hear aloud. Tears had caught in Eddie’s eyes which he blinked away quickly. “Well! Don’t just stand there, asshole! Say SOMETHING!” He demanded.

“I...I…” Richie sputtered face turning crimson red.

“Well, spit it out, Trashmouth.” mocked Eddie.

“I do too.” He gasped out.

It was Eddie’s turn to stare in silence. “Sorry, I think I went temporarily insane. Repeat that?”

“I like guys, too. I have since college.” Richie sighed with relief. “Maybe longer.”

“What? You have?” This revelation made Eddie take a step back. “I had no idea.”

“Not relevant information to disclose.” Shrugged Richie.

Eddie gave a confused look then lowered his eyes skeptically, “This isn’t a joke, Richie. I actually believe I am gay.”

“You're the one who shoved a rainbow cake with sprinkles on top of my bisexual pie.” Richie’s eyes twinkled.

“Wow,” A smile broke out across both their faces, pure joy at the realization that they weren’t alone. They had never been alone. “What were the chances that 2 out of the 7 of us friends would be gay.”

They stood there, in a rare silence, watching each other with a newfound comradery that didn’t seem possible after 20 years of friendship. Richie grabbed Eddie’s forearm and pulled him in for a hug, which was returned 10 fold. Tears that he forgot to keep holding in fell into the side of Richie’s neck. His emotions were on a rollercoaster with no chance of stopping. He faintly heard Richie say, “Eddie, I…”

He didn’t get to finish what he planned to say because a “Richie! Eddie! W-what’s the hold up?” Interrupted them. They quickly broke their embrace as Bill appeared beside them. He looked calm despite a bit of impatience in his eyes, then saw their faces and concern washed over him immediately.

Bill put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, the weight very comforting. “Everything ok?” He reached in his pocket and took out a travel tissue pack. Eddie gave a watery giggle, taking one and blowing his nose.

“Yeah, Big Bill,” said Eddie. “Everything’s great.” And he found that his words were true.

After a few more breathes and checking himself in the selfie camera of his phone, Eddie felt ready to face his friends. The three men walked into the restaurant, heading to a back room that Ben reserved for the occasion.

“Congrats to the couple!” Richie shouted as he bounded over to bear hug and lift Beverly off her feet. She laughed swatting at him, “Let me go you dorkface!”

“Dorkface!” Exclaimed Richie. “Of all the sass to receive from your dude of honor.”

Eddie watched the exchange warmly. Ben patted him on the back. “Traffic?”

“Huh? Oh yeah.” Eddie said embarrassed. “Tons.”

“There was a car fire and crash on the bridge.” Came the dry, toneless voice of Stanley Uris. “Surprised it wasn’t you Eddie, with all your road rage.”

Eddie gave a pout in Stanley’s direction but walked over to his friend for a handshake and a hug. “Such a kind, warm greeting from you Stan. I miss you, too.”

“Where’ve you been lately?” He sounded unperturbed, but he wouldn’t ask if there wasn’t a genuine concern.

“Oh ya know,” Eddie trailed off with a shrug. Stanley lifted an eyebrow but didn’t push it, for now at least.

Eddie started to seat himself between Stanley and Ben when Richie grabbed his collar jerking him backward. “Scoot over, Stan the man.”

Stanley rolled his eyes, “No.”

“Why?” asked Richie.

“Because I am comfortable here.”

“You’re being a stinker, Stanley. Move to the seat next to Ben. You like Ben, don’t you?”

“Of course I…”

Richie looked right at Ben, “Too bad for you, Benny boy, it seems Stanley doesn’t like you anymore.”

“Beep- beep, Richie,” Beverly warned while drinking a glass of wine and placing a hand on Ben’s arm.

“I’m just saying it is suspect that the best man doesn’t want to sit next to the groom.”

“He’s not a groom until the wedding day.” Stanley insisted. “And I am already sitting…”

“Richie isn’t gonna let it go, Stan. Just move over one.” said Bill with strong finality. None of the losers liked to admit anymore that Bill remained the group’s leader even into adulthood. But when he made a request it was usually followed with little argument. Eddie figured it didn’t matter how independent any of them grew up to be, Bill still held a controlling rope over them. Something Stanley was known to resent.

He moved over a seat as Eddie gave an apologetic look at every one. Getting between Richie and Stanley tended to end in him being yelled at, so he rarely bothered anymore. Besides, he bickered with Richie more than anyone else so Stanley had no room to complain.

Richie glanced around the room realizing they had a missing loser. “Where’s Mike?”

“Bathroom,” Responded Beverly, still nursing her drink. “How was work, Eddie?”

“Fine, I guess.” The last thing he wanted to talk about, except his mother, was his boring job. “An econ student was hired as my intern, which makes me think I’ve finally made it.”

“Poor bastard is in for a world of ribbing by all your accounting co-workers,” said Richie, bumping Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie laughed, “Oh, I already made a joke at him today. Why do economists exist?” He scanned around the table then opened his mouth to answer.

Mike’s voice interrupted from the door of the private room, “So accountants have someone to laugh at.”

“Mike!” whined Eddie. “You stole my punch line.”

“Sorry, Eddie.” He took his seat between Beverly and Bill.

Stanley smirked, “You practiced that joke didn’t you.”

“Shut up,” Eddie groaned. “How was your trip, Ben?”

“Not the best,” Ben sighed, he wore a deprecating grin. No matter the story, Ben always had some kind of upturned smile, it was a unique quality. Considering most people told Eddie he had sad eyes, being able to smile at all times would be an excellent trait. “I didn’t leave early enough like I usually do because it was so early in the morning. I left my water bottle in the rental car they got me, then ran from TSA to the gate, was in my seat when I realized the sweater Bev got me for my birthday was back at security.”

Beverly rubbed his back soothingly, “We can get you new ones of both those things.”

“I know, it’s just a bummer because they were special items before I lost them.” Eddie understood. Ben and he shared the same mentality about their personal items, each thing they owned held a nice memory. He knew that the water bottle was one Ben got from his job after the big promotion, he could ask for another one but it wouldn’t be the same as the moment he received the gift. The feeling of pride and achievement all through a meaningless material item.

“Well, lucky for you, Ben.” Richie pulled out something from his bag, handing it across the table to Ben. “I had these made for everyone.” Richie continued grabbing water bottles from his bag, passing them around.

“This is so nice, Rich!” said Beverly. She laughed at the label. Eddie looked down at his seeing ‘#TeamBenverly’. It was great quality, a platted maroon paint covered the bottle with the lettering in a bold white.

“I still have the keychain you gave us for my bachelor party.” said Bill.

“That’s right!” Mike chimed in. “What does it say again?”

“Big Bill’s Bitchin’ Bachelor Bash.” Stanley drawled. “Kinda clever.”

Richie grabbed Eddie’s shoulder, making Eddie almost jump in confusion. He stared at Richie, who was clutching his heart in mock shock, “A compliment? I don’t think I can handle that from you, Stanley Urine.”

“I take it back,” said Stanley, “You don’t have any cleverness. Only idiocy.”

“Hmmmm, insults,” Richie leaned in front of Eddie, still holding his shoulder as his face got closer to an unamused Stanley. “They feed my very soul.”

Eddie placed his hand over Richie’s face and pushed him backward the metal of his glasses digging into Eddie’s hand, “Your soul has a healthy appetite then.”

“Oof, your words fill me up most, Eds.”

“Eds is a dumb nickname and you know it.”

“Alright, alright!” Mike called the attention toward him. “Let’s hear from Ben and Beverly. A decade of being together and now you’re tying the knot. How does it feel?”

Ben looked to Beverly, who smiled sweetly at him. “Feels perfect,” said Ben simply, but in those two words, he expressed years worth of working toward friendship and partnership that went beyond infatuation. “I’m so happy. And even happier to have my best friends around to celebrate.”

“This wedding is really about coming together,” started Beverly, “With our friends, the family we’ve chosen, to celebrate love. I think what we have with all of you is rare and...”

Eddie thought deeply about her phrasing ‘the family we’ve chosen’. He had many issues with his mother, different than Beverly’s father problems but they both came from toxic environments. Kindred spirits in a dark and twisted way.

With all his thoughts lately, he had pushed down how his mother would react. He may never tell her, if he could help it. Her religious views left no room for tolerance on the subject.

He shoved thinking about his mother deep in a box in his brain and focused on Beverly, who was still speaking, “...so just thank you for being there for us. Anyway, let’s fucking celebrate!”

They all cheered, Eddie looking around with a smile on his face. With his ‘chosen family’ he could trust them to love him no matter what.

As the night wore on with lots of laughs, food, and stories. Ben brought up the story of when he finally got the courage to ask out Beverly, “I was waiting outside of school, sweating profusely, despite wearing 2 sweaters…”

“You always wore so many layers!” said Bill laughing.

“Well, when you are fat and subconscious, that’s how you hide it.” Ben said, voice lowering a bit in embarrassment.

“Ben Handsome now shows off his true glory and beauty.” said Richie with a wink. “Just the way I like it.”

“Beep- beep, Richie.” Blushed Ben. “As I was saying, I waited outside and she approached me like in slow motion. I thought I was going to throw up. As I opened my mouth to say something she said,” He motioned for Beverly to continue the story.

She giggled, “I said, ‘Ben, let’s go to prom together’. His face drained of color and he passed out.” The whole room erupted in laughs. “I..I was knocked to the ground!” Beverly tried to say through gleeful tears, “He fell forward into me.”

“You were a very pleasant landing.” Ben smiled in mortification.

“You planning to faint at your wedding too?” said Stanley, “As your best man, I will need to prepare.”

“No, I’m not. I promise.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” said Richie. “I will have a fainting couch ready as a precaution.”

“You’ll probably just jump in front of Beverly and take one for the team,” piped Eddie.

“Speaking of the wedding,” Stanely rounded on Eddie and Richie. A dread bubbled in Eddie’s stomach. “You two having to bring dates is the smartest rule. I should have thought of that for my wedding.”

Richie threw his napkin at Stanley’s face, “Don’t make me take YOU as my date Stan the man.”

“You could never get this, Trashmouth.”

“I can get whoever I want. Right, Eds?”

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie mumbled. “While we are on the subject, just so no one is surprised, I might bring someone who none of you would expect.” Eddie felt his knee being squeezed from under the table. It took him a moment to realize it was Richie’s hand, he was giving a warning. Most likely telling him to keep the details limited, but Eddie hoped it was a touch for encouragement.

“Please, don’t bring Myra.” said Mike making the group groan collectively.

“Now, that would be unexpected.” Richie snickered.

“Eddie, you’re not actually thinking…” said Bill seriously. “Beverly, if they get back together I blame you.”

“Me?!” Beverly opened her mouth to fight but Eddie interrupted.

“Hello! Back to me, losers. I am not bringing Myra. I am not even interested in women!” The words slipped out quick, and he wished they could be suctioned into his mouth once more.

They went quiet, as the news hit them. Mike was smiling at Eddie. He felt his bravery trickling into cowardice the longer none of them said anything.

“S-so does this mean,” began Bill. “That you-you’re g-“

“Gay? Yes, stuttering Bill.” Richie answered seeming to be frustrated by Bill’s condition for the first time in a long time. Then a chair screeched out and Beverly ran around the table, slamming herself into Eddie.

Her soft hair tickled his neck, his heart was calming down from her sudden show of affection. He placed a hand on the arm she slung over his chest. Richie’s hand hadn’t left his knee either. Everyone else’s reactions were fairly standard, awkward congratulations or they were proud of him, all expected. The surprising reaction was Stanley, perhaps because he didn’t react at all. He was silent for the rest of the evening.

As they all stood outside saying goodbyes, Stanley seemed to linger a little aways from Eddie. He waited for the rest to leave, Richie was the last to hug him and head to his car. He wandered toward Stanley hesitantly. The taller man was twisting his key in hand repetitively, tapping his foot methodically.

“So,” Eddie begun lightly, “I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” answered Stanley stiffly. Eddie cocked his head to the side trying to meet his friend’s eyes, then gave up turning to leave. “How do you know?” Came his voice clearly from behind.

Eddie turned around, a few paces away. “Know what, Stan?”

“That you’re into guys.”

“Because I just do?”

“How long have you known?”

“Er...that’s more complicated. I mean I’ve been sitting on it for a month but..”

“A month?” interrupted Stanley, he was getting pink in the cheeks. “You’ve known a month and are coming out. That’s not enough time to know.”

“What’re you talking about?” Eddie was trying to keep his voice calm, he could feel that tingle of rage that surges in him when he feels attacked.

“Have you ever been with a guy?”

“What does that have to do with knowing whether I am gay? I know that every time I’ve thought of girls it hasn’t been the same as with guys. Or how with Myra...”

“Ok, yeah! Myra!” He rose his voice like winning some kind of twisted victory. “You were with her for a year and you really didn’t know?”

“Stan, you’re being a jackass.”

“I am trying to understand why you kept this from us?”

“From YOU, you mean? Stan, I didn’t keep it from anyone. I was figuring out my shit, then I talked about it with Mike and…”

“You told Mike first?”

“Um...no…” He caught himself quickly. “I told Richie first then Mike.”

A hurt flashed over Stanley’s eyes that Eddie hadn’t seen in years. “You told them before me?”

“Stan...come on. I told the rest of you at the same time. It was just easier to tell them at the time.”

“I’ve known you as long as Richie has. Much longer than Mike.”

“It’s not about that!” Eddie was at a loss. This was getting nowhere. “I don’t know what to say, Stan. I’m not going to apologize.”

“There is nothing to apologize for.”

“Then why are you fighting with me like there is?”

Stanley remained silent. His arguments lost on his tongue. “I am tired. I will talk to you later.” And he walked away. Eddie stood there, stomach twisting the food inside uncomfortably, eyes watery from the sadness creeping in his head.

_________

Thanks for the patience for the new chapter! Longer one cause I apparently had a lot to get through. I am starting a second job soon, but I will keep working on the next chapter as inspiration hits. Don't forget to subscribe!

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comic-nerd-dc · 4 years

Text

Dick Grayson x oc

Pardon it may suck and has more mature themes so be forewarned and some curse words and hinting at stuff and I’m sorry if this sucks

——————————————————————————

Dick fucking Grayson, I'm moving to Detroit, ok I wasn’t going to let my best friend move alone until he fucking disappeared and I’ve been searching for this boy across the country to find him in some stupid safe house so I show up at the compound and bang on the wall because I know that’s the door.

“Richard John Grayson you let me in or I swear to god I will cut off your” and the door opened. Now I a bit younger than him at 20 while he’s 22 but I’ve known him since the circus days. My parents were killed that night as well, I just didn't get a millionaire to take me in. I bounced from foster care till I was on my own

“You better have a real fucking good explanation for LEAVING ME IN DETROIT” I yell when I see someone in the corner of my eyes a boy maybe a year or two younger than me

“Who is she,” the boy asks

“Not important” Dick snaps

“Who is he,” I ask

“Not important” I ignore him

“Hi I’m Aaliyah nice to meet ya,” I say winking when arms around my waist yank me back

“No,” Dick says and I turn around remembering I’m mad at him

“Oh yeah and next time you decide to skip town maybe write a fucking note” I snap

“I would have never just left also I’m Jason” he adds in

“Hi Jason” I wink “see Jason would have never left me behind”

“Will you stop talking for a second god your annoying” Dick snaps instantly realizing what he said see I got used to being called a whore or dumbass but I’m not sure why annoying was my trigger word

“I see, uhh ill just leave then, sorry for caring,” I say I can feel the tears falling

“No you know that’s not what I meant I’m sorry, Aalyiah I- don’t leave” I hear dick begging

“No it’s fine I get it, who needs me” I snap

“I do” Jason finally says and I look at him and smile, he opens his arms in a hug so I walk over and hug him, tall enough for my head to rest on his chest as my tears dry we sit but I stay near Jason.

“Aalyiah come on get away from him” he tries but when 3 people walk in.

“Who are they,” the oldest girl asks

“Not important” I answer

“You seem important to me,” the green-haired boy says trying to flirt I smile and move to go talk to him and be polite when Jason grabs my waist pulling me closer to him. I look at him and he’s glaring at greeny

“Jay whatcha doing,” I ask with a smile and his eyes light up

“Jay?” he asks about the nickname

“Well yeah I just though Jason, jay, is that ok,” I ask suddenly self-conscious and he nods vigorously

“Nope” I hear and suddenly I’m over a shoulder

“What the hell,” I ask

“Dick what are you doing,” the redhead says

“Give me one second to deal with this korie thanks” he turns and starts to walk away I just stop struggling

“Ouch,” I say as he just drops me into the floor of apparently a bathroom

“What the fuck Aalyiah,” he asks

“What the fuck me, what the fuck you” I snap

“You show up out of nowhere pissing on me dressed like a hooker and then hit on my replacement, he’s too young for you” he snaps

“I showed up after driving trying to find my best friend who ditched out of nowhere and I got worried when you didn't come home, I’m pissing on you because I was scared and angry you left me behind, and I’m dressed like a hooker because not everyone has a rich foster dad and gas cost money about half way threw the trip I ran out and needed to do something, by the way, its fucking cold” I snap his eyes widen and he pulls off his coat placing it on me

“You got a temporary job as a Stripper to pay to come to find me,” he asks in disbelief

“Sure Stripper that’s it” I attempt to lie and he takes a step back

“No,” he says more to himself and I look down embarrassed

“Oh my god, you prostituted?” he says

“Are you,- don’t patronize me, I also don’t have any other clothes?” I ask but instead of answering he just throws me back over his shoulder

“You know I can walk right” I laugh

“Yes but I like having power over you” he laughs and I roll my eyes he plops me down in the middle of the floor

“This is Aalyiah, my best friend since she was born” he smiles

“Since she was born how old is she,” kore asks

“ Hi umm I’m 20” I hear Jay say yes under his breath

“ that’s Rachel and Garfield” he smiles

“How do you fit them all in the Porsche?” I ask and he looks down

“Noooo, you got a van” I laugh

“Fill me in,” I say and they do

“Ok so you three stay here while Dick, Jay and I go get the other dude” I smile

“How are you coming,” Dick asks

“Hard and fast baby” he laughs at the inside joke

“Undercover obviously, its a lot less noticeable when a guy and a girl go to a club than just a guy I’m Jays blend in” I smile

“Jasons? What about me” Dick asks almost jealous

“You are over 21, dicky” I smile

“You’re not” he adds

“You are absolutely correct my friend but people don’t question a girl with an amazing fake ID and you know how far I would go for you so don’t push it” I smile

“Who wants to see how far she’d go for him because I sure as hell do,” Garfield says and Jason and he both raise their hands

“No, oh my god, no stop hitting on her, come on Jason go change meet here in like 20 we have to change as well” dick adds we walk to his room

“Hey, are you okay?” I ask

“Yeah, just please stop flirting with Jason” he begs

“Why jealous” I push until he turns around walking towards me, I step back into a wall and he cages me in with his arms

“And if I was, would you stop,” he asks lips brushing mine as he speaks

“Dick your not doing this to me again,” I say putting my hands on his chest to push him away even though I don’t push

“What do you mean, last time was great wasn’t it?” he questions, the last time we fucked was about a 3 weeks ago and then I woke up and he was gone.

“ Dick I’m not some plaything ok, I’m too attached to you to do that again because you don’t want me. You want your best friend and a good lay on the side and that’s not me, I’m not yours” I say

“Of course you are, come one Aalyiah and I’m not so possessive that you would be broken in the end come on you know me better than that,” he says and I look him in the eyes not backing down

“Dick, I’ve prostituted myself to find you, I’ve worn another man’s collar while he fucked me, one man was into knife play I still have the scar,” I say pulling my dress up showing the scars on my body

“I’ve done things I never want to do again to find you, how does that feel deep down, because I wouldn’t change a thing it meant I could find you, but what happens in 2 months when you run off again and I have to find you, what happens when I’m yours you want to kill any man who touches me because I know that, that is you, Dick, I saw it with Barbra” I snap

“I won’t ever leave you again sandy come on, and you aren’t Barbra,” he says and I sigh smiling up at him

“Your right I’m not, you committed to Barbra. Look Dick don’t take it personally, I’m not yours, your not mine, so I can fuck whoever I like and so can you, can I borrow some clothes” I smile

“Uh, yeah I guess, this is new to me,” he says handing me a shirt and a pair of jeans, I go grab a shoelace from his shoes

“What is, rejection?” I laugh

“Yes actually” he snaps and I look at him

“I’ll just change somewhere else then if your gonna be that way,” I say

“I'm not trying to hurt you Aalyiah, and you know that but god damn it, I saw dawn a week ago and you just brought up Barbra and all I could think of was how nither of them compared to you, and you won’t even give me a chance,” he says

“Would I be your girlfriend” I snap

“What,” he asks

“You heard me, would I be your girlfriend, or would I just be left without that commitment,” I ask

“Yeah you would be my girlfriend,” he says

“Yeah ok, we can try,” I say

“ But I am still faking with Jason tonight” I smile, kiss his cheek and walk into the bathroom to shower

“What just happened” I hear him ask himself when I’m done I change into his top and jeans using the shoelace to fit them around my waist and roll up the legs

“Alrighty how do I look,” I ask

“Beautiful, so I can kiss you when I want now right, like in front of those people out there to prove you are mine?” he asks and I laugh and nod as we walk back to the living room area

“Alrighty ready to go, Jay,” I ask as Dick puts an arm around my waist

“If yall are dating you should know like 2 weeks ago we had sex,” korie says and my eyes widen

“You what” I snap

“Don’t even go there Aalyiah” he gives me a look and I know I wouldn’t win that battle

“ Rude” I snap and we walk to the club

“ID” bouncer asks and I show him mine as he just assumes Jason’s same as me we get in

“Stay hidden and be careful ok,” Dick says before finding his guy except then the club like burns down and we get thrown out because of Jason and we lose Our friend from the circus they both change into the costume and I go in in the shirt and jeans

“Richard Grayson you killed my dad ill kill him,” he says and I walk over to grab our friend but he had acid hitting him drip by drip and while Jason tried to Cuss the guy out Dick tried to reason with him and argue with Jason, I went over and started to untie Clayton letting the acid hit me instead of him and I get him out with burns up and down my back and arms once out the plant explodes and Jay runs off and Dick gets Clayton to safety and I pretend everything is fine until I get back to the Compound and Dick smiles at me

“We did it Lyiah,” he says and I pass out when I wake up again I have bandages everywhere I go to sit up

“She’s awake” I hear Gar yell and see Dick sit up by my side

“Why the fuck didn't you say anything you could have died you’re kidding me right” he snaps and I grab his hand

“Dick are you going to yell at me more or kiss me,” I ask and his face softens and he leans down to kiss me

“Eww its lowkey like watching your parents kiss” I hear Rachel say and I flip her off and hear her laugh as she and the others walkout

“How long was I out?” I ask and he smiles

“A few hours we got you bandaged and you where good, you scared me,” he says and I laugh

“Imagine how I felt in Detroit” he smiles at me

“Even” he sticks out his hand as a handshake agreement

“Even” i grab his hand and pull him into another kiss

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the-bjd-community-confess · 4 years

Text

DoA megapost (22 confessions)

Mod: So https://true-bjd-confessions.tumblr.com/post/189300138511/mod-due-to-excessive-offtopic-arguing-in-the

All you guys’ pending DoA confessions presented in no specific order, before we move into the hold, as announced above.

To be clear: I think this is a feature DoA should have yesterday. It’s completely inappropriate to force people to use deadnames and names which are related to traumatic life experiences, or be banned.

However, *weary sigh, gesturing at the multiple 70+ reply confessions on this topic* people told me they were finding the rapidly escalating discussion to be upsetting and offputting, and that’s not my goal for this blog. ❤️

I am exceptionally weary of all the DoA hate over the person who got banned over making a new account after not being allowed to change their user name. DoA isn’t the only doll forum out there. If you don’t like their rules, don’t join. I for one find their rules about on- and off-topic dolls to be unfair and arbitrary as hell, but in the end it comes down to their house, their rules. Move on.

~Anonymous

Us: Sure would be nice to maybe be able to change your name on DOA.

Some of y’all: Are you asking for anarchy?? If we allow this, what’s next?? A reasonable review of outdated rules??? The rules are there for a reason!!1! The reason may be antiqued because technology has updated and changed since then, meaning there are better solutions available, but it’s still a reason so we DEFINITELY should NEVER change!! Change is too scary for me. :( You’re bullies who want to be special :((( Stop that :(

~Anonymous

I love seeing people get so offended at anon saying “bigots”. How do you know it was about you ? Guilty conscience? DOA could allow name changes if they really wanted to. There are other hobbies where they forbid certain people from entering forums while still allowing name changes. It’s not hard if you really care.

~Anonymous

Honestly the way people fall all over themselves to defend DoA against any sort of criticism (regardless of how you personally feel about the validity of said criticism, reader) makes me glad I never got into the community aspect of this hobby. It's just... stressful.

~Anonymous

The transphobia in the comments on this blog in particular are so gross. Being a bigot makes your dolls instantly hideous. And no, I’m not saying everyone who is defending DOAs decision is transphobic. I’m talking about the one who thinks trans people transitioning is wrong and their friends. You’re gross and so are your dolls.

~Anonymous

scammers can & will get around DOA's no name change policy, it's really not that safe. also, DOA isn't the only website which allows the sale of high-value items.

~Anonymous

First it's "if you want name changes coded in DoA, offer to do it yourself!", then it's "why tf would DoA accept some rando to help code their site?" make up your goddamn mind, your argument is falling apart.

Also when did this issue become "DoA vs trans people"? Like, I like DoA yet I also recognize it should be more accessible and updated for the modern userbase. I want it to become as good as it can be because I like the community and would hate to see it die out like so many other forum sites do. Yes, it has flaws- and believe me, the folks who get extremely upset about the idea of admitting that embarrass me- but I liked the format since I was new to the hobby. I just wish it was more inclusive!

~Anonymous

girlisav3rb: "this isn't about exclusion or leaving anyone out". Also girlisav3rb: "I'm just kicking your punk ass off [obvious metaphor for DoA]" yyyyiiiiikkkees

~Anonymous

The DOA username debate is really starting to feel like 4 people's personal beefs against each other. It isn't really about dolls and I wish it wasn't dominating all the confessions here. I don't really care about watching pomoaples, pupkinspce, aigisthewlve and tellmeifthursday make fools of themselves daily.

~Anonymous

10.

Say it louder for the people in the back: IF YOU INSIST ON NAME CHANGES FOR DOA, THEN VOLUNTEER YOUR CODING EXPERTISE. Don't know how to code and are just squawking about something you can't directly contribute towards? Then shut up or offer up money so the mods can hire a computer programmer to make the changes you're DEMANDING from a FREE service.

~Anonymous

11.

God it's so painfully obvious to see how many of the people defending DoA on the grounds that name changes would destroy the integrity of the website have never ever worked on or even been part of a forum or really any website of any kind in their lives. Seriously arguing that "the database" would break if you changed a name like?? No??? Have you ever seen a server backend before? You can automate this shit, you know, keep a log of former names, just... it's not some big huge challenge???

~Anonymous

12.

I don't have a horse in the trans name change race but calling DoA one of the friendlies communities around is abject bullshit lmao. There's not a more elitist, paranoid, abusive community this side of comic books -- but that kind of goes for this hobby as a whole, let's be honest.

~Anonymous

13.

THE RULES ARE IMPORTANT WE CAN't cHANGE THE RULES IT WILL LEAD TO CHAOS IF WE CHANGE ONE RULE WHERE WILL IT END THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!! In my town it used to be THE RULES that POC have to go to separate schools and use separate bathrooms, but sure, the rules are the most important thing, not the people. And before anyone says cOmPaRiNg DoLlS tO rAciSm, 1) shitting on trans people IS a form of prejudice you smoothbrains, and 2) my ass is POC and I call it like I see it. Check yourselves.

~Anonymous

14.

I personally think DOA should just.. go away? It’s been around for years, most people use it as reference rather than a community anymore. Everything is on FaceBook and Instagram now, DOA is pretty much just a glorified Dolly Dictionary at this point. Besides, if they aren’t going to change an Incredibly simple, easy thing to change just to accommodate transitioning people, it’s not the best place to be.

~Anonymous

15.

I mean about the whole rules is rules is rules thing about doa: the thing is, some rules are there for a reason and obviously do need to be respected whether you agree with them or not, like don’t block fire exits, murder is bad, etc. but some rules eventually become outdated and need to be changed to keep up with society, and that doesn’t make the people pointing out that they need to be changed evil or entitled or spoiled. Imagine if we all still had to drive 10 mph everywhere because when someone pointed out that car technology had improved since 1915 and the speed limit should be increased accordingly everyone had just shouted them down with “BUT TEH RUUULLLEESS!!!” You’d be pretty interested in getting some of this “special treatment” yourself so you could get to work on time, huh?

~Anonymous

16.

Honestly the easiest solution would be let people change their names only once and have it trackable.. as a trans dude its NOT that deep.

~Anonymous

17.

I notice that the unrelenting attacks on DoA are now even using the same phraseology along with the name-calling and implications of sinister motives. These are textbook bullying tactics. Next is the boycott, except that most of these people already say they don’t use the forum because they are just too “21st Century” for it.

Luckily this is just a confession board and no matter how many folks you manage to rile up here, it’s not going to affect DoA. Now, this is why I love DoA–you can’t go on their own site and spew this nonsense. They have Rules. They are Strict. They attempt to avoid drama, especially off-topic drama, and they don’t allow meanness, vulgarity or obscenity. If you’re looking for a pleasant, safe space, it’s your best bet.

~Anonymous

18.

Easy to lay bigotry, laziness, stupidity and worse on DoA mods for not just accepting tales of trauma and pasts to erase. But the internet has always been full of lies by people trying to get their own way or escape consequences. Not just pro scammers. People who cry things like illness, trauma, disaster, family or pet problems over and over to get sympathy for demands or as all-purpose excuses. Recast ownership lies. People who never got a no before, and don't like being turned down no-how.

~Anonymous

19.

I just realized that no one understands the people saying DOA can allow name changes are the people who have actually modded forums before, most forums unless they’re running a totally outdated system use user id numbers that are linked to display names, which can be changed, and you can write a simple string of simple-baby-code to show old display names on a profile, to explain it in simple terms.

~Anonymous

20.

Honestly I think that the anti-name change people are mostly just shilling for DoA because they can't believe that their precious forum with its volunteer mods could be anything but flawless. Or something like that, given how indignantly these people have *always* reacted to confessions criticizing DoA, even before the trans controversy was a thing. There have definitely been some obvious transphobes as well though, whose bile is really more suited to conservative FB pages or something. Go away!

~Anonymous

21.

the DOA mods can obviously change people's usernames because it's 2019 and basically every other site in existence can do it. they might have to change the site slightly to accomplish this. maybe there are reasons for them to choose not to do that, but let's stop pretending it's some technological impossibility.

~Anonymous

22.

How about this: Implement a system on DoA that indentifies users by a unique code and allow users to have a changeable display name. Changing the display name could become a paid feature to pay for the technical changes. Think of a system like discord has. It's a win-win situation. Thoughts?

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #TrueBJDConfessionz #BJD Confessions #DoA #Just let people change their damn usernames

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thedankfaerie · 4 years

Text

i am posting this here because i am tired of burdening my boyfriend with my feelings. this is a little nsfw. and this is my call for help. i dont know who to talk to anymore about this.

i need someone to hear what i feel

or at least, a free space to say what i feel

im in a low place. i feel so awful about myself and my body and i hate this feeling. i hate that this time last year, i was so happy about the way i looked. i was working this awful job that had me so overworked and overtired and poorly treated that i skipped meals and slept through meals regularly... i lost so much weight from stress in just a year and was the skinniest i had ever been. mentally, i was not in a good place being exploited by my managers... but my self esteem re: my body was at a new level i never knew could exist for me.

last year, i felt powerful and confident about my body, and i expressed that through sexuality. i was fucking my ex that i still liked (i grew out of wanting him back, but he never did, and it was nice to have the upper hand). i was also fucking an old fwb that i stayed friends with, that was also recently single, so we reunited again at the perfect time. i was also seeing this one guy (now my boyfriend) so if ever i got tired of the sex i at least was able to calm down and settle down with someone who genuinely wanted to know me. of course, i ended up catching feelings for this guy, and cut off the other two to pursue something more serious (we are now dating and are moving in together next month!) anyways, it was so nice to be wanted. to feel... i guess sexy? sex is empowering. and it shouldn’t be taboo to say that as a woman, or anyone really. i dont want to give off the message that a woman’s validation is fueled by men’s desire - but hey, don’t you feel flattered when someone thinks you’re attractive? desire and lust aren’t everything... but they matter. and they have an impact on how you feel about yourself, whether or not you believe me when i say that is up to you.

and i hate that i would gladly put myself through the stress that i did just to feel happy about my body. before the summer ended, i finally had enough and i quit my shitty job. i was jobless for a month, but was able to enjoy the rest of the summer with my new ‘skinny’ body - last year i took my first bikini picture ... a 2 piece! i have never done that. i still think about how happy i was that summer to look and feel good about myself.

i have struggled with self esteem issues since highschool. i always felt like i was too big. i used to follow all these blogs of pretty people and try to copy their poses to feel pretty and i used to spend hours after school trying on short dresses and clothes to stare at my body in the mirror. i used to starve myself to the point of literally wanting to faint on the daily, until finally i admitted it to one of my teachers. she respectfully asked if i wanted to speak with the school guidance counsellor, and i declined. but she encouraged me to speak up to at least a friend, so i did, and it helped, and for a long time, i was okay. after i graduated that teacher still checked up on me for a few years every now and again.

4th year university was when i realized how much i had let myself go. i was the heaviest i had ever been, it was my graduating year, i was looking for a job and was always worried about my grades. every time i was stressed or every time i needed to study i bought pad thai and bubble tea. a ritual. i didnt realize how much that had caught up to me until i saw old pictures of myself. at this point, i started my (shitty) job, straight out of graduation.

i actively avoided scales, i didn’t like looking at the number because it just made me upset. and i already felt upset looking in the mirror, i didn’t need something else to make me upset. but i did. and i was 20 pounds heavier than i was in highschool - the heaviest i had ever been.

i cried.

i didnt do much about it. i was too busy. my first job out of uni was a brand new daycare and i was head teacher of a toddler class - also i was the only staff on floor since there were not as many kids. there was nobody to train me, at all. i had to teach myself everything. i had no time.

a little while before starting the job, i met this guy. he was so hot, but such a dick - we had a “thing” but it was so toxic. he started off interested in me, but i turned him down. his attitude changed and he started being a douche, but we became friends because we were seeing each other so often. i didn’t have a car yet. he was driving me everywhere. he lived 5 minutes away. he was the type of friend that would text me “im outside, lets go out”. we hung out as friends at first, we would have “study dates”, until we started hooking up. we acted like a thing but he denied we were ever one - but got mad at me whenever i tried to look elsewhere. but i guess in that time, it was nice to be wanted, especially by someone so attractive.

but again, a year in that shithole job went by fast. i would stay late after work. i would come in on weekends. i was expected to not only help new kids transition, but train new partners. and given that my supers refused to support me, i watched a lot of people quit due to pressure. i had to keep retraining. and kids kept coming. that never stopped. i can honestly say my class wasn’t settled until december, and i started in september. everyday it was ‘its fine, it will get better’.

a year in that shithole, with 0 support, and i lost all the weight i gained - and more. i was the skinniest i had ever been. even in highschool. i looked at old pictures of myself from when i started the job at my heaviest. i couldnt believe that was me. and i was so happy looking at myself in the mirror. for once!

after i quit that job, i started another job that i hoped would be a happy ending.

and it wasn’t. it stressed me out just as much. i also moved out by this point, a month after i started this job. my hours are whack. 7-9, 11:30-6. i woke up early and got home late. i never had free time. my last shift at my old job was 7-3:30 and i had the whole day to myself. im someone that needs social interaction and alone time, and by the time i got home i was so tired, i would just cook, clean, shower, and go to bed. and that was my life. sometimes i would get so tired that i couldn’t cook, i just went and ate out. i tried to make personal time with my friends after work but by the time i reached their house, it was late, and places were closed. and id have to leave early anyways because i had work early the next day... so fast food was the only way to make this work. on top of this, this was the most difficult class that i had ever had. the kids behaviours’ were so difficult and i couldn’t handle it. i would cry in my car 3x a week. i would cry 4 minutes before my shift starts in the washroom and walk out and pretend i was okay. i would have my boyfriend come over as much as i could just so i could cry in his arms. i couldnt leave this job because i had just moved out and having a consistent rent payment was a huge responsibility for me. as well, if you know anything about ECEs in canada, just know we make shit pay. but this job pays me better than most ECE jobs... by a landslide. AND gives me benefits, which is so hard to find. i am still at this job - i was at my breaking point at the time covid started, so i was rejoicing when we closed for covid. i havent worked since march, but i needed that time off so desperately.

with that being said, i gained the weight back.

not everything, but i definitely could tell i was packing on some pounds.

cue covid.

i havent worked since march. i fell back into a lazy routine of ordering fast food. lying in bed. resting. just enjoying NOT dealing with my difficult class.

but i gained it all back. and i think im back at my heaviest weight. i picked up all my summer clothes from last year from my moms... half of them dont fit me. my favourite pair of shorts won’t close. i just sat and cried in a mess of clothes on my floor in front of the mirror. this was last week.

im trying to tell myself, ‘you’re in the middle of a global pandemic, go easy on yourself’... but do you know what it’s like to finally get what you’re chasing, and have it be taken away from you? i finally had a taste of what it was like to look AND feel good about myself. something ive wanted since i was a teenager...and it’s gone. it’s my fault and i accept that, so please don’t tell me i did this to myself. i know i did. but i can still be upset about it. i look in the mirror and i try to suck my stomach in and pretend nothing changed but its not the same. i see old pictures of myself, especially that bikini pic. ironically, i captioned it “i will never have the confidence to take a bikini pic again”... and here we are. i look at the clothes i wore last year and remember how fucking good i felt wearing them. i try putting them back on and seeing my stomach bulging and my arms looking fat and my love handles, something i didn’t see last year. and i just take them off and opt to wear something frumpier that doesnt hug my figure.

i try to tell people about how i feel but i cant take those ‘love yourself and all your flaws’ campaigns seriously. i dont think i can listen to another ‘you have to just keep faking it until you make it and if u just tell urself ur beautiful u will feel beautiful!’

because if you’re me, you know you cant kid yourself. if you’re me you can’t ‘love every flaw’. you fixate on them. and you let them define you. and if youre me, flaws are all you see.

i hate myself for getting back to this point.

i have a very supportive boyfriend that knows about all this, who is trying to actively get me to go on runs with him. we are trying to go for walks more and be out and about. he reminds me of little things, like if we are getting bubbletea he will suggest i go with less sugar. he is trying, we are trying. and i appreciate him so much.

today i complained in my car about this to my boyfriend, again. for the millionth time. and he still was supportive. but i just feel like i cant keep doing this to him. he said something today, which i think was him trying to give me a reality check to show me that i cant just wish i could starve myself and overwork myself to lose weight and call it a day... but it stung. he said “i don’t want to be with someone that’s not healthy. i have standards too” and i realized then he deserves so much better than to fucking babysit my complaining ass. i am 24. and i shouldnt be putting this on him. he is an adult with problems just as real as mine and i shouldnt be burdening him with this anymore.

im scared to talk to him about how that comment made me feel, because he’s so right, and he has every right to leave me. i would honestly. the amount that i worry and fixate on all my flaws and complain and have crying breakdowns about this is not fucking normal. and it shouldnt be his problem. i just want him to be with someone that doesnt give him this baggage. he met me in my ‘prime’ days when i just started getting my skinny body last year. when we finally started dating, we were super sexually active. and i mean, having sex like 15 times a week. im not kidding. now we havent had sex in almost an entire month. i dont feel sexy anymore and its impacting my sex drive.. he tries to start it with me and i just can’t because i feel like he is probably repulsed by my body. this is a huge huge huge problem, seeing as sex was a huge part of our relationship (we are very emotionally in tune with one another, but sex was a great addon because we both love it so much). i hate the way i look without clothes on. i cant bring myself to do it because it makes me feel like shit about myself.

but we are moving in together next month. and that is a huge step. and i am worried that i will never change, and he’s going to feel like he’s stuck with me because he’s moving 40 minutes away from his hometown to live with me. i almost want us to break up so he can be with someone with less baggage but i also love him and i want to be better for him and for us.

someone please help me.

#help #lol

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reddogf13 · 4 years

Text

Escape: To Salvation Ch:2

Blake X Val

Summery: Blake wakes up in the hell town known as Templegate. confused and alone he must fight through both his past and present for his future. however, hallucinations of festering demons haunt him along with something else more of mortal blood. now he must fight to keep his nightmares and reality separate or succumb to the deadly wilds. however is he truly as alone as he feels in this world?

status: complete

rated: M - fowl language, sensitive topics, and gore

previous chap: Escape: To Salvation CH:1

next chap: Escape: To Salvation CH:3

_____________________________________

~Ch:2 Vile~

“so how'd the whole town die? Did the storm cause it?” one of the uniformed men asked. “no, religious nuts committed suicide it seems. Helicam got close snapshot of jugs with cyanide labels.” another wearing a mask answered in a slightly radio sounding voice. “so what are we supposed to do?” the first asked again. “at this point the experiment is marked a failure by Murkoff. So we're basically clean up crew. We go in, snuff out any possible survivors who didn't drink the kool aid. Then Murkoff swoops in with the flamethrowers to make the place open for the next group of religious nuts coming in.” a third spoke. “how will they get more people here?” the second questioned. “easy, just let “god” speak to some wacko, convince them there on a holy quest to here. Not like those people question when they hear a sudden booming voice from the sky telling them what to do. Just gotta find the right priest. Already did it once after all.” the third answered with a laugh at the end. “they figure out what caused that overload signal that freak out the system? Was pretty big considering it left us entirely blind on town activity along with a factory lock down till just yesterday.” the second asked. “storm knocked the control switch out. Control couldn't turn down the signal or switch it off. thankfully the radio tower fried itself after the signal got too strong for it to handle. If it didn't we would still be on lock down. The whole thing has to be reset. Even the control panels were fried from that backward signal.” the third answered. All of them pausing as they answered a radio call. “alright, boss gave us the go ahead. Lethal force, save no one, take no souvenirs.” the third spoke. “aww, love to take souvenirs.” the second spoke in disappointment as they began moving. “not from this place unless you want some kind of disease. They have a whole sectioned fenced off for people riddled with diseased. Be thankful we get to leave that place up for the torch guys.” the third spoke. “fuck, I cant let them know I've survived.” Blake thought in panic. Quickly going off into the forest. Sneaking around the armed men to make it back to town. “I'm sorry lynn. I gotta leave, but I'll be back for you. I promise.” Blake quickly spoke to the grave as he quickly buried his unfinished pumpkin, destroyed his little fire pit, packed away his metal shard knife, and tossed away the shovel. Grabbing the twiggy branch he used to sweep over all the fresh tracks he could. Tossing the branch away as he ran deeper into the town. He needed a place to hide and fast, but everywhere he looked seemed to be filled with holes. He couldn't use his regular tall grass or barrel trick in the daylight. He would stick out like a sore thumb. He ran in and out of buildings looking for some small crevice he could squeeze into for a hideaway. Freezing at a second floor window when he didn't just see 3 guys, but 20 or more slowly flowing into the town. Looking over body's. Bashing down doors to any locked buildings. Blake was full on panicking at this moment. Deciding to ditch the town and try his chances in the surrounding forest. He ran from the building while constantly looking over his shoulder for fear of being shot. Running off down into the thin valley ways. Terrified of each corner he rounded before discovering the lake again. “fuck.” Blake panted, really not wanting to be here. His legs were locking up in pain again. Developing a painful charlie horse in both. He leaned against a tree with a wince as he groaned in pain. Spotting a old rotten boat nearby that he could possibly hide under. He swallowed before limping over. Lifting up the rotten boat to slip underneath. Realizing too late there was a deep ditch hidden underneath. Falling back into it as he hadn't been expecting no ground where he stepped. Landing roughly into it on his back as the boat fell to cover the hole. Blake groaned in pain as he looked around the dark space. looking toward a tunnel on his left leading to a lit area. He carefully got up to crawl through the small tunnel. The tunnel opening up to a small chamber able to have 10 people sit in a very close circle together. The middle having a small pit with a burning fire. A small pile of wood off to the side near by. The walls looking either scraped by shovels or scooped simply by hand. The roof seeming to creep down with the many bunches of black vines creeping through the roof. Val was sitting quietly on the opposite end of the fire lit room. Knees close to chest with an arm hanging across one knee and the other she had her elbow resting on the other knee. Resting her head against her hand as she looked toward Blake as he entered. “come to keep me company?” Val asked in a somewhat teasing manner. Blakes expression immediately turned sour. About ready to head back out of the now uninviting space. “come on now, no need to be unfriendly. We can keep each other company till they pass over.” Val spoke calmly. Her friendliness being a bit unnerving to Blake, but Val was right. He wasn't in any condition to run either. He stayed crouched in the tunnel entrance for easy defense if needed. “why don't you come sit by me?” Val asked with a small smile. Even that small gesture made Blake shudder back with a face of revulsion. “ no.” he firmly stated. “it can get pretty lonely.” Val stated, carefully examining over him. Having Blakes skin begin to crawl at the eyes examining over him. “what is this?” Blake asked gesturing with his head up at the room. Wanting to quickly change the subject. “it was a place to get away.” Val answered with a slight smile that quickly disappeared. Blake went quiet after that, looking away before getting concerned about the fire. He looked back toward Val again, feeling a little awkward being stuck with her down here. “where does the smoke go?” he asked. As logic would currently say is that the smoke could collect at the roof of the room before pooling out the ditch entrance. In which case a rotten boat suspiciously smoking wouldn't be a good hiding place. “the vines.” Vals hand pointed up toward them. “they made small spaces in the soft soil between them while holding the soil in place. The smoke flows out around the different trees in the area who's vines cross paths. Seems like just a natural steam vent from an outside point.” Val answered. Blake nodded as he now noticed the vines all had a small bit of tunnel space surrounding each one. His body tensed as he began hearing a humming noise. “a boat?” Blake said aloud. Val sat up in a more alert position. Blake moved as well away from the entrance tunnel. He didn't want his legs being accidentally spotted through a small hole in the rotten boat. The sound of boat motors growing louder before stopping as they reached the lake edge. The men jumping off the boat creating a big thud on the room roofing. Val putting a finger up to her lips to silently tell Blake to stay quiet as he nervously shifted. Both of them holding their breath as they heard footsteps that stopped above. Blake hoping in his mind that an armed man wouldn't just suddenly fall through the thin roofing. Nervousness growing as they watched the soil roof slowly sink down from the weight standing over. Blakes paranoia was getting the better of him as he slowly got up from his seated spot. If the roof broke he had to be ready to fight. Val obviously being against that as she mouthed the words commanding Blake to sit down. He didn't listen, but dove immediately back down when a loud gunshot rang through the air. Val pinning her self to the wall as she ducked low. Startled just the same as Blake from the unexpected noise. “what did you do that for?!” a man on the surface yelled from a far “a dead fish bubbled up and I thought it was someone hiding in the water.” another yelled back near by. “you got scared by a dead fish?” one started with a few laughing. “shut up! I wasn't scared I thought it was somebody!” the shooter yelled. “just save your ammo for when you actually see something champ! We got a whole town to look over.” the far off one yelled. Many starting to laugh again as they moved forward. Once they seemed to be gone Blake let out the air he had been holding in, being quickly shushed by Val. “someone might still be by the boats.” Val mouthed to him. Blake giving a small nod from his laying position in the sand. “we should get some sleep while it's still quiet. They have a lot of town filth to dig through before they'll leave. Come rest by me.” Val whispered and gestured for him to come over. Blake nervously shaking his head as the offer. “no, id rather stand guard.” he spoke for an excuse, as well as being a little truthful. “very well, but you should rest.” Val said to him before laying down with her back toward Blake and the fire. “well, glad she's comfortable.” Blake grumbled in his thoughts. No way he could sleep here after all that or while Val was that close. He laid there watching the crackling fire before getting board after 10 minutes with nothing else to do. He looked over to Val in an attempt to see if she was fully asleep. Unable to tell, he just quietly turned over to face away from her. Taking out Knoths journal out of her possible view. He wasn't sure how Val would react to it. Most likely shed want it burned and the ashes to be danced upon. He flipped through, skimming over parts for an hour till he found the place he was at. Flipping through a bunch more pages for many more hours that had nothing interesting. Stopping when he did find something different. “1985 on the last day of harvest in the month of September- . This is 14 years later from the last note. How'd this place last that long?” Blake read, quickly calculating the information written

________________________________________ “ one of the females of my flock that I was quite fond of came to me with what I thought was a blessed bundle of joy. I was at first outraged when the mother gave life in secrecy and did not allow me to bless the child's arrival with my presence. My anger turning to confusion as the mother requested we speak in private over the matter of the child. I told her if the child was ill it was to be drowned in the lake or given to lairds possession with the others who are plagued. The young women assured me it was not that, but another issue. I assured back that whatever the issue was I could fix it. I had just gotten back from a meeting with the women. My assurance earlier of fixing the child's problem was mistaken. I made the assumption that the mother only felt guilt for not birthing the child in my presence and that it needed christening. Instead I was met with a disgusting site. The child being deformed with multiple parts of both that of a female and male.”

______________________________________________ Blake stopped his reading to look over at Val. Who still had her back faced toward him. “Vals birth?” Blake wondered, returning to his reading.

______________________________________________ “ the mother confirmed soon after that the child was mine and asked me if I would help protect the “loving child”. I couldn't stand being in such a presence of an abomination. I told her to stop spreading such untruthful lies as I knew the lord would not have given me such a deformed child. That it must belonged to another which I made sure she knew well was the story. Or else the deformity meant she was actually diseased and required her to be sent away. She quickly confessed of her sins blaming it on a confusion for which I happily forgave her as she now knew the proper story I liked to hear. I knew I could not harm the innocent, thing, presented to me as so far it had committed no sin besides merely existing at the time. As I was also in no position to judge god's image of how the almighty created it. Such is why I kept the small laird when he arrived to me. I swallowed my disgust down before telling the women that it was a test from the lord. It was to be raised till they could talk then it would be a test upon the child. She was not to help feed, give treatment, or teach any skills with the child after that point. The child's survival would be left in the lord's hands and only he would decide if the child lived or perished. We both knew the child would not make it, but I told her the lords works in mysterious ways. Which up lifted her spirit for a quick smile. After which she asked me if I would name it as a blessing. Souring the last of my mood for the night. I was sure to remind her that it was a woman's job to name the children. Me being a male asked to be demeaned to a woman's place was insulting. However, after hearing her greatest apologies and begging I forgave her mistake. A perfect name came to my mind that only the lord could have bestowed onto me to give. So I told her that the lord has requested me to just this once lower myself to give a blessed name from the heavens, made just for the little thing. I informed her the child's name would from now on be “vile”. The mother nervously swallowed and nodded to my recommendation. I gave a smile back before dismissing her to go home.”

___________________________________________ Blake was now glaring at the written page. “How could someone be so cruel to an innocent kid? Sure as hell explained a lot of where Vals warped mindset originated. that poor girl, pregnant by Knoth before she was blackmailed into submission by him. Forced into half abandoning her kid once at the age of 2.” he thought while turning the page for the next written day.

_____________________________________________ “ that damned women rejected my blessed gift. Calling that horrid child by a different name, “Val”. I confronted her and told all how she rejected a holy gift given by the lord and asked of me to deliver! I wished to deliver a hefty punishment for such betrayal. However, after a talk with Marta in the early morning over how broken my flocks faith was. I feel the 20 stings of a whip in the courtyard I wanted on the women's back would put far too much fear into my followers. So I turned to the more godly way of forgiveness. After a thorough scolding I told her that I was not punishing her because it was not my place. if the lord had not punished her yet then he must not be as insulted by having his gift rejected. I left it at that and despite not getting a direct punishment from me she still suffered. From what I was just told by Marta she was now being shunned by the others. At least I managed to keep some loyalty from the people.”

_____________________________________________ just as he finished reading up the written page Val began to stir. Sitting up with a bit of a stretch. Blake watching while he quickly shoved the journal back into the coat pocket. “wheres the sun?” she asked. Blake being confused for a moment thinking she didn't recognize they were underground for a moment. Realizing that she was actually asking for the time. “umm, … setting? It looks.” he answered, looking out the tunnel exit and seeing a dark orange glow. She got up from her sleeping spot. Dusting off the sand before walking over to Blakes half of the room. His paranoia spiked as he bolted up to move away. Watching as Val ignored him to slip into the entrance tunnel. Getting a more panicked feeling at what she was about to do. “what are you doing?!” Blake whispered to her. Watching Val carefully lift up the rotting boat. “leaving.” Val answered. “well, I rather not have attention drawn around here, but i am certainly not going to stop her.” he thought as he watched her leave. However, he didn't want her running around and being spotted. Having the possibility of the armed men staying longer to look for others. Once Val was gone he finally felt comfortable enough in the underground space. Moving away from the entrance to throw more wood onto the fire. Laying down again to let his exhaustion slowly take over. It took a bit longer then usual due to his anxiety of being found. Eventually falling asleep after another hour had passed. He slowly awoke to a dark room, the fire being dead besides a few embers dying off. He stretched as he slowly sat up. Looking around the dark room for any possibility of Val sitting nearby. After being sure he was alone he sat there to think for a moment. He couldn't live in this hole forever, waiting until the armed men leave would have him starve before then. Blake knew he had to leave, reach back to civilization. Get actual medical aid over just a single type of pill. He got up from his spot to slowly head for the exit. Propping up the boat slowly and seeing a man sleeping in the near by boat. Blake quietly slipped out of the ditch while watching the sleeping man for possibility of him stirring awake. Out free of the ditch he silently jogged to the forest line. Looking around in paranoia for any of the men searching on the lakes edge. Hidden inside the thick forest edge he tried to get some bearings on directions. “okay the helicopter flew from the east. The sun was setting to the... right of the lake?” Blake thought, looking back toward the lake as he tried his best to remember the suns position the other day. “so if I head back to the town and head straight once I pass it. I'll make it back?” he thought, building some optimism. Blake slipped through the forest to avoid the town. From afar he could still see the men walking with searching flashlights. Hearing them shout over to each other while others created a racket from busting down doors. Some throwing furniture out of the houses and tossing bodies out of the way. By the time Blake made it to the opposite side of the town he was sure that morning was right around the corner. “it'll take me a while to get away from here, but if I keep a good walking pace i can make it back to town by the next night.” he thought happily as he began his long trek into the woods. He slowed for only a moment to look back at the town. “i wish I could say goodbye more personally, but you know I can't. I'll get you back to civilization soon lynn.” he whispered toward the town. Regaining his normal pace when he turned forward. He walked up to a small clearing finding a pathway heading up to the mountains. Looking up and down it Blake realized it was familiar. “this heads to the helicopter crash. That means i am on the right path!” Blake thought, jogging up the path. Careful to make as little noise as possible. Walking again when he reached the two close rock edges narrowing the path. Careful of the slippery rocks he had to crawl over again. Being hit with the strong smell of rot. “oh … yeah.” Blake said, looking toward the hanging mutilated corpse of the pilot. Now thoroughly eaten away by maggots festering over him. Blake swallowed thickly as he looked away, quickly moving along. Shortly stopping again when he arrived to the cliff face. He let out an agitated sigh as he remembered he has to climb down this thing before. That was easy, now for the hard part of climbing back up. He looked over the area, settling on a few large crevices criss crossing. Carefully climbing up the steep rock face up to a ledge almost 15 feet up. Looking again for the next crevice in the rock to climb. The task being harder then before without the moonlights help to light up the various edges. The climb didn't take him as long as expected. Reaching the downed helicopter at the top of the cliff edge. Taking a moment to catch his breath. Sitting down next to the remaining wreckage. He gazed out over the land. Just able to see the lining of the trees as the sky got closer to dawn. In just an hour or two the sun would rise. “would be nice to fucking see where i am going.” he thought, pulling out his bag of pumpkin seeds. Slowly eating a handful of them while waiting for the sun. no way he was going to trek into unknown forest without at least a small bit of light. The sky slowly turned from a deep dark blue to a dark red turning to orange. Blake finished off the seeds in his hand. Dusting his hands off while putting his food bag away. Walking by the wreckage he entered the forest once again. Walking along with only a sense of direction to help him know where to go. Just missing an annoying cactus he would have walked into without the small amount of light up. After a bit of walking he came up upon another large cliff. Much larger then the one before the helicopter wreckage. He looked left and right to try and find a way around with no luck. He swallowed thickly in nervousness as he looked back up at the cliff wall. “hope my rock climbing lessons help out here.” Blake thought. “would be best anyway. I really need to know where i am going and how far the city is. I should see at least the city glow from up there.” he said while letting out a long drawn out breath. Preparing himself for the careful long clime. He slowly and carefully worked his way up. Stopping to take deep breaths as to not feel so tired. Halfway up the intimidating wall he froze at the sound of a helicopter. Looking back toward the town to see a few of them hovering over with huge spotlights scouring the area. One getting incredibly close to him before spotting the helicopter wreckage. Hovering over it before flying off more toward the town. Blake swallowed down his nervous stomach. Made worse when he made the mistake of looking down. He took another deep breath of fresh air to start working up again. At the top he didn't even bother to stand, simply hoisting himself up and laying flat against the cool earth. He looked up and expected a view of a city, or at least some city lights since it was still early morning. Instead he just saw endless forest and mountains going off to the horizon. He jumped up to his feet in fear. Looking all along the open horizon for something, anything. A road, lights, a building, but no it was just forest. Followed by mountains and more mountains. It was then that reality set in. him and lynn didn't exactly walk here. They flew and went over mountains, valleys, rivers and canyons. It took them the entire day of flying to reach this place and they left EARLY! He quickly realized that it wasn't gonna be a day's journey to the city. This was going to be closer to over a weeks worth. “fuck, this isn't even flat land either. How many more cliffs are there gonna be to climb?! I'll need much more food and water. I am not anywhere near as prepared as I thought I was!” Blake started to frustratingly speak to himself. Finally letting out a shout that echoed through the abnormally silent forest. Kicking himself after for being so loud. He rubbed his face in aggravation. Looking back out toward the town with the rising sun coming up. His only plan right now was to make the entire trek back. Gather more pumpkins and save up on a massive pouch of seeds. As for water well … he can hope for rain. Blake looked over, spotting a pile of rocks that might provide a small covering from the helicopters. Getting more annoyed at the recognizable tired feeling that never seemed to stay gone for long. Sitting against a large leaning rock. “nothing else to do but read or sleep.” Blake mumbled to himself. Pulling out knoths journal again.

_____________________________________________ “1989, September 28th the child has unfortunately been lasting longer then I had hope. The thing having recently turned 4 years old today. It definitely seems the mother still does what I suggested. Many of the towns people still shunning her and happy to give reports on the two. The mother not helping to feed it or teach it anything useful. The child hasn't gotten sick yet despite my prayers. I was happily informed just now by Marta that the child has been labeled by others as being a miscreation, not of god. I cannot support my flock in confirming this as i am not one to judge. However, I'll allow them to call the child freely what they wish. One thing however has caught my attention. The child despite me marking them as a vile thing with its mother being shunned as well. Many of my followers are drawn to the child. Finding it incredibly easy to speak between them, which Marta has told me. Asking me if she should reaffirm my notion that the child wasn't to be supported in anyway. I told in confidence with Marta that it wouldn't be necessary. In fact that maybe this was a blessing of god underneath the disgusting flesh. I know I need a new speaker for my word to the people. I prayed many years ago for a follower that could bring people in with a gentle tone, but strike when needed. The child showing just that with its kind words, but holding nothing back when crushing the skulls of fish it kills in the shallows. Maybe in time we'll see if the child can be useful to me in the gospels future.

_____________________________________________ Blake flipped through the journal again. Passing over all the same boring entry's till he found something revolving around Val again.

_______________________________________________ “1991, June 27th I had just learned that the miscreations mother had left to join the scalled a few months ago. Which I didn't really care for until Marta told me the mother may have failed me in the months before her leaving. Teaching the child things such as farming, herbal identifying, and animal care. Those teachings were common knowledge to be passed down to the young, but in this case it was not allowed. Not much I could do about this matter now besides sending laird a letter about the betrayal. I pray she's still living enough to be punished for her misdeeds. I asked Marta to send it my condolences, but she informed me that the child is currently gone. I asked her to clarify. Marta explaining to me that after the child's mother left the towns people pushed the miscreation out for the house. Instead of wasting away out in the cold it left for a time into the forest. Returning months later looking healthier then ever. Coming back only for some copies of my gospel and to trade for other materials. Returning back to the forest to possibly forage the berry's in season. I must admit that despite my ignoring of the child and support in shunning of it. The child has shown a strong loyalty to me. I asked Marta to keep a look out for the child and invite them to meet with me. I want to see what its doing out in the forest. Eventually it would have to return before winter and beg for scraps. This area does actually manage to get a fair bit of snow it's so far raised on the mountains. Foraging and berry picking will be useless then.

________________________________________________ Blake began flipping through the journal for more. Momentarily stopping as the searching helicopters flew over in one group. Leaving the area eerily silent besides the strong wind flowing by the rock blocking it from Blake. He continued flipping through the pages till it reached another year mark.

_________________________________________________ “1992, February 7th the child had finally returned today. Impressively living out in the forest through the winter months. It had returned to trade for supplies again which I've been finding people are trying to hide. Which is understandable as I told them not to give the miscreation gifts. I told my flock that I knew they were hiding it, as I see all. I announced after that trading with it was alright. As long as the trade was equal or of more worth on my flocks part. I got my chance to meet with the child. Finding them to be well and happy. The child happily greeting me and proudly speaking of there growth in the wild. Surviving off berry's to roots and rabbits through the winter. Telling that they even managed to take down a few deer. I wouldn't have believed a 7 year old child had killed off a deer if it weren't for the multiple prepared hides they brought for trading. Along with various knives they made of the antlers. I asked the child how they came to learn how to hunt and scavenge out in the wilds so quickly. My suspicions that the mother taught these things being confirmed by the child's sudden silence and refusal to meet my gaze. I got the child speaking to me again by giving my condolences of their mother being sent off to the I'll Saying id be happy to make them a personal copy of my gospel for them to bring out into the forest after such a tragedy. The child happily bouncing about at being so blessed by me. I told the child I would also prefer to them staying within Templegate. The child refused however. Saying they were fine in the forest. I didn't entirely mind as this kept it from being a useless burden for us. I wanted to know what else the child's mother told them. Asking what else it had learned. The child going on and on after that. About hunting and tracking to the basic knowledge of how to farm. Most children did not learn these skills till they were of working age at 12. i am thankful the lord gave me strength to hide my bitter meant toward this new info. I soon found that many of my follows were asking the child how to hunt the wild creatures and where best to harvest berry's. Deer meat was definitely loved among my flock, but the most difficult to obtain from the maze like mountain rock range or through the dense forest areas. We all mainly relied on our live stock or caught fish from the lake for meats. I wasn't exactly happy seeing so many flock around the child for answers over me. I did obtain an idea from it though. Maybe the child would work under me with the position of deacon. However there was the issue of its deformity. The child still seeming confused over what it was. That not sitting well with me as a creation of god should know what it is. Either male or female, but a female meant they could not be a deacon as that was only a mans job. But am I not the voice of god? Am I not the one who speaks the truth of the lord? If I speak that Val is male, then it shall be truth. No one of my flock would go against my word without being a sinner. Anyone who sins against the word of the lord shall face punishment by my right hand Marta.

____________________________________________ “... is this why Val was referred as a male everywhere in town? Because Knoth just said that's what they were and his word is law? Would make sense, definitely sounds like him too. Not that anyone could argue otherwise.” Blake thought, putting the journal away. Glimpsing at the now sunny morning sky. “val sounded like quite the survivalist. Only 6 when they left for the forest. Lasting almost half a year out in the wild. … i am not a camper, but if I convince Val. … maybe?” Blake thought. With Vals forest survival skills and sounding like she had mass knowledge of the area maybe they could leave together. He didn't know what Vals plan was. Maybe rebuild the cult in her image? Just survive in the rotten town? Since everyone died it didn't seem like she had anything left there. He looked to the cliff edge feeling more exhausted then ever. He just really wasn't ready yet to climb back down. That only left sleep and he felt it would be safer to return when dark. Who knows were Val was after they separated. All he could hope for was that she stayed in the town. “should I deal with Val? If I do get her to come I'll have to look over my shoulder the entire journey. What about sleep? I can barely stay awake now what if Val decides she wants something while i am sleeping?” Blake thought as he remembered back to the whole event in the mines. Getting horribly sick before he pushed away the traumatic memory. The thought of being around Val 24/7 for possibly a week not helping the illness go away. He pointed his face toward the sky to take deep breaths. Swallowing down the vomit threatening to rise up. He breathed out a few more times before feeling his stomach settle. Until his thoughts wandered back to being around Val. He had to face this fact. He knew in his mind he couldn't make it back to town alone. Everything looked so different below the trees. Getting lost out here would lead to death. Getting injured alone would be an even worse fate. Or trapped at the bottom of a ditch. Then again, would Val be helpful in that situation? “She's like a rabid wolf willing to turn on you as soon as you were down. I bust a leg and she'll rip it off for food. What did all the heretics eat anyway? They just grabbed the few who mistakenly wandered too far from knoths flock? Did they actually hunt wildlife? There were a lot of dead fish in the lake, may have not needed to hunt.” Blake's thoughts wondered.

#outlast 2 #blake langermann #val outlast

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marvelgbt-posts · 5 years

Text

Projects

{Photographer! Peter Parker x Bigender! Artist! Reader}

Warnings: i dont know much bout the bigender community, and so i did my research. So you identify as two genders? I dont know what ‘genders’ exactly you’d want here, so i’ll put they/them pronouns if thats okay :)

Summary: ‘can i please get a bigender reader who goes to art school with peter, that has like, “god like abilities” and always compliments/draws/tells peter hes amazing. ((tag @give-you-the-sxn please?))

Ofc my beautiful valid child <3

A/N: i decided to change it up a bit and have the art class as a club after school instead. Also I hc that tom hollands peter parker is into photography. I hope you like it >///<

I listened to ‘youth’ by Shawn Mendes and Khalid while doing this.

*not edited*

“Welcome class,” the teacher greeted you all brightly, “I’m glad you could make it after school today, what with all the rain and all I assumed only two or three of you would have shown up today. Anyways, you know what to do. Best get to it.” She clapped her hands, before turning her heel and moving to write on the board, writing ‘Integrated Arts Club’ in a cursive calligraphy font. That was her contribution to the club. Calligraphy.

You sighed. This was a way for you to escape the harsh reality of the outside world. Half the students in this club were members of the community, no scratch that, the majority of students were gay. There was maybe only one or two straight people apart of this club.

You took out your paints, paintbrushes, pencils, and then got your canvas from inside the supply closet where you had left it yesterday. It was your newest project, a painting of a woman in white, with bright red lips and a black dress that blended into the black background of your canvas. You were inspired by a woman you had seen one night on the streets of Queens.

Taking a seat by yourself- taking up the whole table with your paints and brushes spread everywhere- you began painting. Everything was already finished, you just needed the details. You heard the door open and close, only choosing to look up when you finished an eyelash stroke.

“Yeah, this is where I go after school. That over there is Mia- the one spray painting the poster paper- and the dude over there with the guitar is Jay. That over there is (y/n), their bigender so I’d just use androgynous pronouns for them. Over there is Ms. Burningham, our club sponsor, and the dude in the corner is Max, he’s a comic book artist. You’d fit right in, Peter.”

The voice belonged to MJ, a close friend of yours. She often helped give you inspiration, letting you paint some of her sketches to life. You heard her walk behind you, leaning down so her hair was in your peripheral vision. You looked up, “Yo, MJ.” You smiled at her, then up at the newbie.

He was short, about an inch or so shorter than you, with brown eyes and hair. He wore a sweater over another shirt, jeans, and ha a camera in his hands. He was trembling, probably nervous.

“Hey, ahh, who’s this?” You asked MJ, who looked at Peter. She leaned back against the table, her palms getting paint on them from the splatters that had fallen off your plate of paint.

“Parker- Peter. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you.”

He went to shake your hand, you lifted yours up to show him you had gotten black and red all over them, “Sorry, dont wanna mess up your hands. That camera looks expensive.”

Peter made a small ‘oh’ noise, looking down to his small Canon camera. “Yeah, it- its almost completely brand new. I sold some of my old stuff to get it. Useless stuff, shirts and books and stuff.”

“Cool, cool. Uh, MJ, could you tell Jay to keep it down over there? Can’t hear my own thoughts over his wanna-be indie music,” you said, completely disregarding the boy in front of you now. It wasn’t that you were rude, you just wanted to get this painting finished hole everything was still wet, otherwise it would make problems later on. MJ rolled her eyes, but nodded. You flashed Peter a smile, before turning to you painting.

After about a minute of silence, you heard a gasp behind you, “Holy shit- that’s really good!” You looked up, seeing Peter next to you with his camera turned on. He blushed, “Sorry! It’s just you looked so calm and pleasing, I snapped a quick photo while you weren’t looking- sorry.”

You half-smiled, standing upright, “Thanks, and it’s okay. This class is freedom of expression. Just not expression, ‘kay? As in, no swearing,” you laughed and pointed to the lady at the front of the class, her hands busy grading the Latin worksheets. Peter nodded, surprise clear across his face, “Oh- sorry.”

“Can I see?”

“What?”

“The pictures, can I see? I mean, they're of me, right?”

“Oh- yeah! Totally!”

Peter pushed a few buttons on his camera, and he scrolled through some of the photos until he found yours. “Here-”

“Wow, i look hot!”

You moved closer to Peter to get a better look, gawking at the aesthetic that was put into one simple photo. You did look good in this photo. “Mind sending me this? Not just this, other stuff, too. I’d love to make a piece from these- oh, if that’s okay?”

“Uhh- yeah! Sure!”

***

You flopped onto the bed, curling up next to a pillow. It was cold from loneliness, making you snuggle closer to it. You looked at your nails- paint ad managed to get wedged between the nail and the skin, and no matter how hard you tried it wouldn’t wash away.

You sighed, ready to turn off the light until your phone went off. You checked it to see there was a message from MJ, asking you if it was okay to give Peter your number. You texted back, ‘Yeah. Totally.’

Three minutes later, your phone went off again and it was Peter.

Unknown

Hey (y/n) its peter

Parker

Peter parker

I just wanted to know if you wanted the photos to be on a hard drive or through gmail or something?

Hello?

-11:13-

You

Yeah

I’m here hi

A hard drive would be nice thanks

-11:15-

You took a moment to change Peter’s ID to his name. About five minutes later, Peter responded with more spam

Peter

Okay cool

Yeah okay

Yeah i can do that

Sure

Yeah

Okay

Cool

-11:32-

You

Lol

Imma sleep

Night peter

-11:35-

Peter

(…)

Night

-11:45-

***

The next day, you bumped into Peter in the hallway, “Oh, hi Pete. Can I call you that?”

“Hi, (y/n)! Yeah, totally cool!”

“Cool, got the hard drive?”

“Yeah, right here,” Peter patted his jean pockets for a bit before pulling out a black and red hard drive, “It has maybe 20 or 25 pictures here. Their mostly just random pictures of places around Queens, hope that’s okay?” You nod, “Thanks Pete.”

***

That night, you went home and changed Peter’s ID to ‘Pete’. After that, you plugged the hard drive into your laptop, opening the file titled ‘images’ and scrolling through the photos. Most of them were taken at impossible angles, and you wondered how Peter was able to capture photos like them. One was at the top of a building and looking down onto a busy interstate. Another was of the stars, a bit of the background trees getting in the frame. They were beautiful. Another was of MJ, her back towards the camera, a backpack strap in her hand, looking to the left at the sky with a sunset background. You saved that image as ‘Michelle_jERKFACE.jpeg’ on your computer. The photo Peter took of you earlier was amongst them as well.

You went to bed that night with a smile on your face and ideas fresh in your mind, ready for tomorrow's Club Meeting.

***

“Hey (y/n)! Like the pictures i sent?”

“Holy Shii-shhh! Peter! That sentence can go two ways!”

“OH! Sorry...”

“Its fine, and yes I did like them. They were really good! How come you never joined before?”

“Never thought i was good enough.”

“Not good enough?! Peter, those photos are professional level photos. They are wonderful and beautiful and deserve to be in a museum.”

“Oh, wow, thanks...” peter blushed, looking own with a small smile on his face.

***

You looked at the scenery before you, trees brown and crisp from the fall air. Peter sat next to you, his camera ready to snap a picture at any moment. MJ sat opposite Peter, sketchbook in hand and sketching the trees and people. Ned was posing by a fountain as Peter playfully took photos of him. You started sketching Peter into your own book, smiling when you finished and began shading.

MJ looked over at you, “Damn, you’re gay for Peter Parker.”

You looked at MJ with a shocked expression, before looking at the sketch and at Peter, who was now out of ear shot.

“Totally,” you smiled, before both of you went back to your drawings.

***

“Peter,” you looked at him seriously from your spot on his bed, “Ever think about kissing dudes before?”

Peter blushed, “I- ah, um...” His eyes widened, before looking down shamefully, “Y-Yeah… more than a few times...”

You smiled, “Cool, so what? You’re… bi?”

“More pan, I look for personality more than gender.”

“Cool, same. I’m (sexuality).”

“Oh, cool!”

***

“Peter, where are we going?”

“Behind the school. There’s something I need to show you.”

Peter had your hand tight in his grip, pulling you through the almost empty hallways. His voice didn’t stutter, which worried you.

Finally, you made it. Peter pulled out his camera, “Stand in front of that street art Mia did yesterday.” You did just that. Peter moved your arms to move in front of your sweater, telling you to tug at it a bit and look up at the sky. He moved some hair in front of your face to cover your eyes. He knelt down, snapping the photo.

“Cool, now stay there.”

“Do you always get like this for a photo?” You asked as Peter pressed record, moving next to you, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing, um. What are you doing?”

“Its for a project. I’m gonna screenshot part of the video later. Please, this is important.”

You watched Peter as he took control of the situation, taking your (smaller/bigger) hands in is own, intertwining them as he leant up.

“Kiss me.”

You coughed, moving back. Peter moved his arms around you again, “Please?”

“Why?”

“The project- please (y/n).”

You slowly gave in, letting Peter wrap his arms around your waist as you looked down into his eyes, your hands cupping his cheeks softly. He leant up to kiss you softly. Both of you stayed there, afraid and unsure of how to move.

“I’m sorry,” Peter said after a while, moving away. You were quick to react, taking the back of his head and slamming it back onto yours.

“Mph-!”

He was taken aback by the action, soon melting and whimpering into it.

Yep, you were so gay for Peter Parker.

#marevlgbt #request #male reader #bigender reader #gender neutral reader #mlm #x reader #peter parker x male reader #peter parker x gender neutral reader #peter parker x reader #peter parker x bigender reader #lgbt #gay imagine #lgbt imagine #marvelgbt imagine #marvel imagine

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